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Zippers, welcome to this episode 11 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:45,360 of the Tea with Me podcast with me, Shane Tall Before we get 12 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,320 into this episode, you're so childish. 13 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:52,240 Before we get into the get into this episode, I need to tell you 14 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:59,400 that patreon.com silly boys like just silly don't have don't 15 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,720 because I need to go. This is Islington Town Hall all 16 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:05,920 over again. This is Kieran's revenge, and 17 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:07,160 Willie T is here, who's not even. 18 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:08,640 He doesn't. Make it to this episode. 19 00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:12,400 We're ahead of time, but back in time. 20 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:14,320 He actually never made it to this episode. 21 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:16,960 Oh, yeah. Is it on camera? 22 00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:20,880 Please tell me it's on camera. Willie T, not for the first 23 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:25,680 time, finishing all over his own chest. patreon.com/tea with me 24 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:28,360 podcast. Bonus episode every Monday, live 25 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:30,640 stream every Friday. You can go back in time and 26 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:32,760 watch a load of old stuff that's on there too. 27 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:35,720 Everything's happening. Mock blames on there by now. 28 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:39,320 Millionaire stars in their eyes. What? 29 00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:40,280 Who wants to be a millionaire? Who? 30 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:42,160 Wants to be a millionaire and stars in your eyes, eh? 31 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:45,240 Where some people rightfully won and some people shouldn't have 32 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:51,120 been one of the top three. I have just announced today if 33 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:52,640 you're watching this on Wednesday but if it was on 34 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:55,480 Tuesday don't say I said this because tomorrow I'm announcing 35 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:59,640 another SSA arena show Full house second night at the SSA 36 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:01,880 Arena Friday the 15th of November. 37 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:04,880 Thank you for all the support so far and people who bought so 38 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:08,000 many tickets for the first show. I am oddly doing another night 39 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,960 in the full arena at the SSA in Belfast. 40 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:13,560 Tickets will go and Ticketmaster this Friday at 10 AMI think 41 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:15,480 unless I change it closer to time which gets ignore it. 42 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,840 We are sponsored by none other than Manscaped. 43 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:29,000 Manscaped are the number one in men's below the belt, men's 44 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:33,960 below the belt, men's below the belt grooming products. 45 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,920 They've got everything you need if you're travelling, like on 46 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:41,120 Monday I'm going to Copenhagen and Oslo with Willie T. 47 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:42,680 You'll probably not make that though. 48 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,920 And we're definitely taking all of our Manscape products with us 49 00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:47,760 and shaving each other up in the hotel room. 50 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,440 Like 2, like 2 little sheep. Manscape have everything. 51 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:55,480 You can use a cold tea with me for 20% off and free shipping. 52 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:58,680 The link is in the description. This episode was a. 53 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:00,480 Little bit more about Manscape. Oh, Manscape. 54 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:03,600 Oh, these guys love it. Your balls, your deck, all of 55 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,880 it. You can shave yourself around. 56 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:07,120 The handyman in the hedger. The handyman on the hedger, 57 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:10,600 they've got it all. The brilliant manscape.com Team 58 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:13,800 with me podcast check the link in the description Team with me 59 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:19,640 for 20% off and free shipping. That's that's exact. 60 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:22,440 My guest this week was supposed to be William Thompson. 61 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:24,240 Kieran Bartlett. William gets locked in his house 62 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:27,720 by his grandda, which is weird because William's 27. 63 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,320 But my guest was Kieran Bartlett. 64 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:32,840 Who needs 2 guests when you've got Kieran Bartlett? 65 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:36,000 Kieran would have carried this episode any stop. 66 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:40,320 Just stop doing that. William Kieran was a brilliant 67 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:43,280 guest. We had a great old time we 68 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:44,680 talked about. What do we talk about, Kieran? 69 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:48,160 We talked about our shows and we talked. 70 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,960 About That's unsent. We talked about all different 71 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:51,760 things, then we're done. What? 72 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:54,360 Do we talk about a real recently given a week? 73 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:58,280 Oh, Kieran had to go to hospital to give a sperm sample. 74 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:03,000 Yep, I missed this. Yeah, you made it was a great. 75 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,680 Time We're also running a competition at the end of this 76 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:10,200 podcast to win that sample but please enjoy this episode of tea 77 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,960 with me podcast with my good Fred because there's not you 78 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,040 find out sometimes people comedy think your friends aren't 79 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:18,240 because they let you down but my real true friend Karen Bartlett 80 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:20,399 was able to make it and be part of the podcast I. 81 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:25,800 Did too for the practise. Oh, here I was so like he's. 82 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:30,560 Turn sounds like a place in Amsterdam you want to go to Some 83 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:36,240 like he's Turn mate. Unbelievable. 84 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:37,960 I was. I was some goal. 85 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:41,920 But I guess we started the episode. 86 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:45,120 But you look like you were like, yeah, you look like we were 87 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:47,480 reminiscing in Vietnam there. Oh, no. 88 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,200 I was some goal from Dominic Solanke. 89 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:51,640 What was? I don't know what started. 90 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,560 That's a fun name to say. Is Solanke. 91 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:57,000 Is there any like words you really like or? 92 00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,720 Yan vinegar of hassling, I used to enjoy saying. 93 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,240 No, but it doesn't even need to be a footballer. 94 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:04,640 Like I like, you know, the Sinn Fein, like I think it's the 95 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:07,480 annual party conference. It's called the R-I really like 96 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:10,360 the word R dash. Pleasing to say. 97 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:14,440 I like sand, silica silica. Or the we thing that comes in 98 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:15,840 the shoes. What here? 99 00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:17,360 Here's a big question, right? And the lock. 100 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,160 On I know the answer. What does that do? 101 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:21,520 It stops the shit that absorbs moisture. 102 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,680 So that's why you get, when you get new shoes, they're always 103 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,840 that, you know, that feeling of like straight out of the factory 104 00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:32,320 dry. Straight out of the factory dry. 105 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:35,040 Yeah, they're dry because you put the silicon that absorbs any 106 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,000 moisture that's in the arts. Why you eat it? 107 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:41,040 That's a problem for you. Having had experience. 108 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,680 With that, so it says all over it, they not eat. 109 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:44,960 You've definitely had a silica overdose before. 110 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:48,840 But that's what those it stops things from getting like moist 111 00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:54,640 in the box as it were, so. That's immature and that's 112 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:57,680 great, Kieran. Well, sorry, what about that 113 00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:59,280 Luton macho mental would you like? 114 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:02,680 Here's just last football thing for now, would you? 115 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:06,120 I want Luton to stay up because. See see the the Blackpool of 116 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,600 this the. Relegation zone of Nottingham 117 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,320 Forest, Burnley, Sheffield United suits me down to the 118 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:12,040 ground. I. 119 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:15,560 Like Forest, I don't. I like, I like them better last 120 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:17,480 year when I had a couple of players but the sole one of them 121 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:19,320 more ones. I like to Tottenham, right? 122 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,840 It's good to see you. And can I just say, I think we 123 00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:26,080 talked about this at Mysteries Live, which by the way, what a 124 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:28,360 night. What a night. 125 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:32,480 Those two two episodes will be coming out from that the moon 126 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,400 land and episode the gladiators episode. 127 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:37,280 I can't wait till we put that video clip by Oh Man of 128 00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:40,720 Gladiators Oh Fausty on the AI. Fix fire. 129 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,160 This guy is going to end up working for like war lead, like 130 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:44,720 blackmail and war leaders. He's like. 131 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:48,360 Yeah, they fake and just Donald Trump being signed. 132 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:53,400 Oh, you satirist. Very. 133 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:59,720 Drool here, very drool. Need to get some Celica there 134 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:05,560 because I was so dry. You you're at my house a couple 135 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:08,880 weeks ago with this on an actual pot and. 136 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:10,680 Lovely place, thanks for having us. 137 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:14,960 Oh, well, listen, can I just say you're a big hit with my oldest 138 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,160 son? Yeah, I'm not joking. 139 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:18,920 Think you're the coolest guy on earth? 140 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,080 I am. Most of that is based around the 141 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,480 fact that you have a truck. I do have a truck, you know, I 142 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,200 enjoyed our way. Time was good. 143 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:28,280 The crack was good. Because I, I don't really know 144 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,720 how to get on. Generally we've said this to me. 145 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:32,800 Before, right? You'd said this to me before, 146 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:36,480 but I thought. You're you're I've been accused 147 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:39,240 real natural. My my my own niece and nephew 148 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:43,680 used to call me Uncle Education and they used to call Kev Uncle. 149 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,160 Fun time. True story. 150 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:47,680 I know, doesn't sound great. But you know what I mean, Uncle 151 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:48,440 Hands. I know. 152 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:50,120 Yeah, yeah. He's German, by the way. 153 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,240 Yeah, so like. Uncle Education? 154 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:56,680 Yeah, because I had his nickname for all. 155 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:58,920 That no, it was the IT was, it was Kev. 156 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:02,920 Kev gave me the nickname, right? Because I would be, I would have 157 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:06,240 bought them like educational toys from the early learning 158 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:08,120 centre and things like that. He was going out and getting 159 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,920 like water balloons and I'm being like, no guys, sort the 160 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,160 blocks into colours and sizes, you know what I mean? 161 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:17,120 So yeah, develop geometric shape knowledge, you know what I mean? 162 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:20,160 So like they were, They're smarter because of me. 163 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:23,720 What even is that that you said? Well. 164 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:27,440 Geometrics. Yeah, geometry, shapes and Maths 165 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,680 sizes I. Don't know any of that shapes. 166 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:32,320 Spatial stuff. I have bad spatial awareness. 167 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:37,600 So like trying to, you know, or like here, see if you want, see 168 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,600 if you want not go who's going to, you know, buy a load of 169 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:41,960 chocolate, whatever. That's not me. 170 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,280 I like your chocolate. See if you want says. 171 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:46,480 The man who brought you brought more chocolate. 172 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:50,040 Well, he wouldn't brought that much chocolate to my you brought 173 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:51,680 so much chocolate to my house. You. 174 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:53,600 You. Won't believe the nightmare we 175 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,240 had trying to find something for you and Marx's. 176 00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:58,160 By the way, Marx's doesn't cater for dietary requirements for 177 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,160 you. Not very well free from section. 178 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:02,800 We went right. We rat the biggest free from 179 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:06,640 section, but there's loads of it's free from gluten, not a lot 180 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:08,600 of it's free from Derry. Yeah, so. 181 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:11,400 No, you, you, you and Chloe very much catered for us. 182 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:13,120 Good. You gave us a good tip about 183 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:14,800 Newcastle, by the way. We went that chippy. 184 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:18,240 What do you call it? Docs it's good Kieran was Kieran 185 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:21,680 employee brought this blow up football for my son and then you 186 00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:23,360 can draw on a. Scribble. 187 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:27,960 Make your own design A scribble and and Karen kind of had a 188 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:31,680 problem with the way my 3 year old was drawn didn't you did you 189 00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:35,480 did right in your head. He was gonna, he was gonna do 190 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:38,840 like, you know, perfect drawn. He mentioned the phrase about 191 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,000 being outside of the lines very quickly. 192 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:42,440 I did, yeah. Yeah. 193 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:45,120 I said, I said you're no, I said you want to. 194 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:48,360 I said you want to because when we started, we were doing it all 195 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:49,800 in and I went. You want to stay in or do you 196 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,880 want to go outside? High passive aggressive to your 197 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:55,880 child. Child, do you want to say, do 198 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:58,000 you want to do this right or do you want to do you want to fuck 199 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:02,200 it up? And then no. 200 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:09,200 So I did a Scrabble and then let's say Child A. 201 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:13,640 You're not quite stabbed. He was, he was stabbing the ball 202 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:14,840 then. And I was worried that it was 203 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:18,880 going to bust the marker over your, your, your counter, right, 204 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,560 which no one wants. But then I was just saying go a 205 00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:23,600 bit easier. Go a bit easier on the stab. 206 00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:27,400 Yeah, you know, but stop. It don't stop it. 207 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:30,520 It was funny whenever whenever we asked whose names we put on 208 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:31,160 it. Yeah. 209 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:33,160 And he was happy for his name. My brother? 210 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:34,560 Your name wouldn't have his brother's name. 211 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,200 Yeah, because he didn't call it in. 212 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:38,280 Yeah, he's not banter. He was having Kieran time. 213 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:40,360 Yeah, it was great here. See in your truck? 214 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:42,800 Like how cool do a child? It's. 215 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,200 Currently the truck. It's cool to me. 216 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,200 Look, you know. I bought a truck. 217 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:49,120 Yeah, I enjoyed. He had the wee, wee baby. 218 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,280 He had the like the the toy truck. 219 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:56,240 Yes, the same truck. Would you, would you hate it if 220 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:59,080 just to like impress my son if I just bought a truck than yours 221 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,280 but it was slightly bigger? You ever deny me if it was 222 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:03,160 better than mine? Yeah. 223 00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:05,240 Yeah. I wanted to be the same or less, 224 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,640 you know? So talk to me about truck life, 225 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:10,520 right? Because we know you got the 226 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:12,040 truck. Are you like? 227 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,320 I'm taking a piss off people for the truck by the way. 228 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:18,720 Why? Because of the green footprint. 229 00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:20,840 I don't know here. Well, we're offset not now 230 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,280 because Chloe has an electric car now. 231 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,160 So we're offset in a car. They're worse for the 232 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:27,760 environment. Well, we're making. 233 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:31,240 How do you charge it? How do you charge a Karen? 234 00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:33,120 Electric. There you go. 235 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:38,320 But here electric you can make it's all renewable now we'll 236 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:40,280 have solar panels, but. You guys have a wind farm at 237 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:41,560 the. House, I'm looking, I'm looking 238 00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:44,440 into solar panels, but I think I think it, I think it's shit. 239 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:46,120 I think it's a shit deal for you now, right? 240 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:49,160 It's not like the RHI does where you know, the government was 241 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:50,600 giving you fucking money. Hand over fish. 242 00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:53,880 I got in really early. I know 3 warehouses. 243 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,240 I was the only comedian not doing material but. 244 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,480 I. The guys give them a chance to 245 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:01,080 do their best. It's not perfect. 246 00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:04,880 I am I wonder I I don't know is there. 247 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:06,920 A truck guy etiquette. Like if you're out, you're 248 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:09,680 driving down Botanic on the way to Cafe O, you see another guy 249 00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:10,640 coming up the street in the truck. 250 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:14,280 Is there a nod or is there? A I've done a few nods. 251 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:16,480 I've definitely nodded. Do you know what I've started 252 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:18,960 doing? Nodding the guys in white vans 253 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:23,680 because we're all in commercial vehicles, so there's like a 254 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:28,200 commerce in the car. And then I've started saying, 255 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:32,080 I've started picking up we phrases about alpha phrases 256 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:35,000 about the amount of petrol that it uses diesel. 257 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,120 I've started, I've started packing up we phrases. 258 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:41,240 So like, you know, somebody go, how should treat me and I'll go, 259 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:47,320 she's thirsty, you know, or, you know, putting a putting a pet, 260 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:50,480 putting filling it up costs, you know, a bit of money. 261 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:53,640 Like somebody goes, how much should be, how much should it be 262 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,840 to fill her up? And you go, ah, it'll shorten 263 00:12:55,840 --> 00:13:00,320 her afternoon, you know. So I've learned. 264 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,680 I've learned those. My dad has about 50 of them. 265 00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:05,280 We could teach you. Yeah, I I like, I like learning 266 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,960 things like that off real man. Yeah, because I don't have them. 267 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:11,000 Is that is that fast? Is it like shit off a shovel? 268 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,200 You don't understand them all, but the work. 269 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:18,400 It's the way you say. Them you know I I do enjoy 270 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:21,640 thirsty. And are you are you good at 271 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:25,160 parking it? No, did you hear out? 272 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:28,040 Did you hear the did you hear? We're we're going to therapy 273 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:34,040 twice a week. The the stay together. 274 00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:39,160 So no, there's, there's, there's you get a partner here in the 275 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:42,040 backgrounds. Karen, you love Chloe that much 276 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:45,040 that if you've got divorced and you got another wife, you would 277 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:46,560 still be with Chloe all the time. 278 00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:54,000 That's William. You said imagine you were 279 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,400 imagine Chloe left you. You're single again. 280 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,760 And by the way, you only, you don't even like the premise of 281 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:00,880 this because you're thinking. About leaving centre on why he 282 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:04,880 sent us on podcast. Right, imagine, imagine, right. 283 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:08,320 Chloe leaves you, you're on a date, you get set up on a blind 284 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:10,440 date. And you're like, listen, you 285 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:12,800 know, she goes, I really like you and you, I like you too. 286 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,960 But listen, I've got 2. And she's like, listen, I've got 287 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:17,560 kids too. You're like, not Chloe and 288 00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:19,960 William. They will be part of our lives. 289 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:25,920 Ever, anywhere we live has to have a place for Kev the Age 290 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:28,600 anyway, so. You like you and her having a 291 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:31,160 dinner and then there's like a soft play and it's her three 292 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,280 children and just Chloe. Kevin Williams. 293 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:40,200 So what was the question? What was the there was a oh, am 294 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:41,920 I good apartment? Not really, right. 295 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:44,600 Do you know, I'll say yes, I'm going to park in other places. 296 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,040 I'm not going to park in our drive. 297 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:49,640 The drive. I'm just not good at it. 298 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:53,000 It takes me a couple of goals. I could I could bet here, but I 299 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,920 won't. It's it's to do, it's to do with 300 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:59,360 you have to pull in a certain angle, which I always think I've 301 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:02,680 got right but probably don't. And then it takes me two goals. 302 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:05,320 Do you ever get like? If it's raining for. 303 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:09,920 Do men ever guide you in? No, Chloe has said the phrase Do 304 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:11,440 you want me to do it about 8 times? 305 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,720 Ah, no, I'm like, I can't let you do it. 306 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,400 Yeah, I have to get this from myself no matter how many goes. 307 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:17,960 Yeah, you know, do you get road rage? 308 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:21,640 Yes, really, yes, but not it's not as bad as it used to be. 309 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:25,440 It was worse whenever I was in my we 1.0 hand. 310 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:29,440 I guess being like, yeah, people would do things that that would 311 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,080 annoy me because. You weren't getting respect in 312 00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:32,840 that. It's hard to get respect and it 313 00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:37,160 gets but it's one thing it doesn't get as respect. 314 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,680 Oh, sorry. I know. 315 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:42,560 I like that we car. Do you know my my rage is 316 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:46,320 usually to do well, I did. I did a spring course 317 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:47,880 celebration. I don't mind telling you. 318 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:52,360 So crack or no, No, I was probably I was pulled over. 319 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:54,760 I've talked with this. I know I got pulled over 320 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,720 sometimes new car. I didn't realise. 321 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:59,000 I've done two things. There's always someone in the 322 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,440 course. I've done one of these courses 323 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,680 and everyone just wants I didn't. 324 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:06,160 Realise the speed I was doing and quiet there's. 325 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:09,840 Always there was a fella on the course I did and he went, I was 326 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:12,720 just test driving it and they were like, yeah, but were you 327 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:14,040 speeding in it? He goes, yeah. 328 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,840 And I'm like, this isn't the inquiry you've been called. 329 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:18,400 We need to just. Hear through this, I admit it. 330 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,600 I was just. I got called the guy, put him 331 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,840 over, was totally dead on. Where were you Spin? 332 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:27,120 Were yeah, down there in Newry. How I don't believe me. 333 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:29,200 How I was about. Time I'm over. 334 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:31,760 Right. I was dealing by the NSA, 335 00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:36,320 haven't they? Oh, speed kills. 336 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:39,320 So the guy. Listen, I'm not proud of it, but 337 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:40,760 here I'm prepared to talk about it. 338 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:41,560 The guy. Pulls you over. 339 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:43,720 Put me over and give me. What does he say? 340 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:47,160 Does he recognise you? Yes, but he didn't, he was very 341 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:49,760 professional, right, because this is nor hang. 342 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:51,440 I can't talk about this because I'm actually going to end up 343 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:52,640 doing stand level with this thing. 344 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:54,960 But I had a hospital appointment yesterday. 345 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,520 I'm getting recognised in places where you sort of wish somebody 346 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:01,520 would just go ask Karen Warland. Leave in your head, right? 347 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,560 Don't fucking don't. Don't talk. 348 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:06,640 I've had a colonoscopy while talking to the staff about like 349 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,160 gigs. Yeah, like me. 350 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:13,560 It's it's, it's, it's rare luck and all the thing. 351 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:16,560 Also see getting circumcised when everyone's like oh go to 352 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,960 your shows. Oh, you're looking at the cock. 353 00:17:20,319 --> 00:17:23,400 You're about to cut some of my penis off, mate, right. 354 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:24,760 How do you call your material? What? 355 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,000 Just whatever if you're. Prepared to say that if you're 356 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,640 prepared to say that I was away getting and this is a word that 357 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:31,920 nobody wants to use in this place. 358 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:32,280 What? What? 359 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:35,240 Are you going to tell me you're joining me? 360 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:38,400 No, no, no, Although I might at some point, but not, not yet. 361 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,880 This was I was away getting Foreskin Bros. 362 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,720 I was away getting what they call it A and this is what it 363 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:44,760 should be called. By the way. 364 00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:48,800 Hey, this is Ellis or a jazz analysis though, right? 365 00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:52,520 A jazz analysis, right? Semen Analysis. 366 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,600 He played for Burton that jazz analysis. 367 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,040 Yeah, what do you say? Same analysis. 368 00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:00,000 People go on great shots, Albert, Terrible on lobs, You 369 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,240 know what I mean? Like, you know what I mean? 370 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:04,680 So it's like. Jazz analysis I think he had a 371 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:07,320 great World Cup. He was left back for Algeria and 372 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,920 then he said I think Wigan send them and he never really went 373 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:11,840 and go back home. When MiTo was there. 374 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:16,680 I So you had a you had a semen. Analysis I did a jazz analysis. 375 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:20,360 So where do you go for this? The in shops though, they are 376 00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:24,120 down to the royal, down to the fertility clinic. 377 00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:25,760 Right. You go in there and then. 378 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,360 Do you have to provide a sample there and then? 379 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,720 This is the basis of a new bit of stand up shit. 380 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,680 Doesn't matter so. Great. 381 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,640 Let me know. So no, no, I'm saying it's so 382 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,440 Graham. Surely you could take it home? 383 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,200 No, I, I see. I wondered about that. 384 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:46,440 My I I think presumably the reason why they don't do that do 385 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,120 that is because they don't do that. 386 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:52,280 No, but presumably the reason why you don't do that is because 387 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:57,480 must have a bit stuck is because, you know, I'm not 388 00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:59,240 saying I would do this, but other men. 389 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:00,840 Whatever it is but to say he would do it. 390 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,840 No, but like you could get someone else to do it, Yes and 391 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:07,760 go see my I'm fine, right, So I think they'll want you to go 392 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:09,560 Plus they also want to meet like. 393 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,320 Having someone else set set your theory driving test. 394 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:15,440 Yeah, yeah. So this way is like what way? 395 00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,200 Creepier. Yeah, why saltier? 396 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:20,240 So it was just like it was. Put me through it so. 397 00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:24,760 It was, it was grim like. Do you get given a sample like a 398 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:27,480 bottle? They give, they give you, they 399 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:31,360 give you a cup that is, in my opinion, too big for what it's 400 00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:32,760 used for. You give me a 2 litre coat. 401 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,640 But I know, right? So so they give you a couple. 402 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:41,280 So they send you a letter and tell you abstain from explosives 403 00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:44,560 for a couple of days beforehand, but not for as much as a week. 404 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,200 Right. So you need to thump one out a 405 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:48,640 week before and then wait five days. 406 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:56,560 So you Doctor, right, that's the says in the letter and then and 407 00:19:56,560 --> 00:20:01,040 then so you go in mate. It's just so bleak, right? 408 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:04,200 So so do you. So on my way to the room I'm 409 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,480 getting a lot of So on my way in. 410 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,440 On my way in. You're about to go bust. 411 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:11,720 So I go in, I go into the place, they tell me to go to right the 412 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,400 the maternity, I say to the lady. 413 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,520 So is it the fertility clinic's part of the maternity hospital? 414 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:18,960 Thank God, I was like, I'll take this. 415 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:20,400 And you just went to the maternity ward? 416 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,440 No, no, no, because. They're doing records. 417 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:27,920 Everybody push at the same time right? 418 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:31,080 Like this is you should. Never push right until the 419 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:32,680 burial. Top knowledge. 420 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:36,880 I went on this. So the point that so, so sorry. 421 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:40,680 I go in and I say I have a wee appointment in the fertility 422 00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:43,680 clinic and she goes, oh, you need to go outside and go in 423 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:45,640 this other door, right? And I'm like, great, it's 424 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:48,480 raining. So I walk out and I go through 425 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:50,600 there. Granted part of the walk is 426 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:54,800 covered anyway overhead. So I walk in and the lady there 427 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:58,280 goes, oh, you just go in the front door and I'm like, this is 428 00:20:58,280 --> 00:20:59,320 star of Chocolate Brothers thing. 429 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,840 I'm not going back around there. I went, I went, listen, she sent 430 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:05,360 me around here and she goes right, I'll show you. 431 00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:07,240 And she brought me round to the left, right. 432 00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:09,640 And she goes, you go up here. It's on this floor. 433 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:14,080 It's called andrology, which is not as much fun as it sounds. 434 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:19,120 And I, I get get, I go in there. By the way, she was, she was 435 00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:21,640 very helpful on my way up in the left. 436 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,520 Couple of porters are in there and they're coming out of the 437 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,000 left angle. And that's a bit about Mr 438 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,360 Bartlett, good to see you down here. 439 00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:32,000 And I it's not, it's not. So I go in, a couple of people 440 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,680 are in the left and I can hear them going Ashramano, those tech 441 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:38,320 talk and all I'm like, don't look at where I'm walking to. 442 00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:42,240 So I walk out, I go into there, lady in there every listen, 443 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,480 everyone's very professional, but also they're they're 444 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:47,240 clinical about it in a way where they say phrases that turns me 445 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,040 right. So like they'll say stuff like. 446 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:53,160 Drain your nuts in there. No, no, I I almost wish it was 447 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:55,320 more like that. I wish it was like go in here 448 00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:59,200 and have a quick wank, right. You know, neither, neither, 449 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:02,600 that's what we all say neither wring it out of yourself in 10 450 00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:06,360 seconds nor are you on holiday. So don't edge it right, but 451 00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:10,080 like, you know, quick wank. Does she just say that instead 452 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,200 of going? So you'll go in here and produce 453 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:16,520 your way Sample. You're like, I'm not Timbaland. 454 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:23,080 Sound like. You come out with a beat. 455 00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:26,360 You are the sort of fucking nightmare guy that would come 456 00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:28,360 out. He would come out on a beat. 457 00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:32,720 I thought you meant I. Don't. 458 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:36,240 God, no, anyway, so fucking mental. 459 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:41,560 So she she talked me through that way, but I mean talked me 460 00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,040 through it told me I was going to go and have a wank. 461 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:45,800 And then the word, the words that no one wants to use in this 462 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,640 place are words that they should use like wank and jizz. 463 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:50,880 They don't see. And then you just pop the wee 464 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:53,480 sample in here. Do let us know if there's any 465 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:56,360 spillages now, because we need to know if we're looking at a 466 00:22:56,360 --> 00:23:00,120 proper full sample, right. I'm just sitting there going 467 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:04,640 this is fucking this is this is all my sins coming to visit me 468 00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:09,480 at once, right? So we I go into this room right 469 00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:13,000 now, there's so many levels of things that are funny to me 470 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,400 about this room. Talk to me about the What is it? 471 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,440 So the room, the room is an anti room. 472 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,320 The toilet is that. These in there? 473 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:24,240 Yeah, Happy 8 dancers. Get that here. 474 00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:29,840 Give us give us 20 regulate your we Dick right so regal philtre 475 00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:36,600 and we salty so you have a 20 cell cut. 476 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,280 I'll go out that like I'm nicking A bookies pen. 477 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:52,080 Like so it's like a week, it's like a week, a week pre room. 478 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:55,080 The toilet, there's a little like the door to the toilet is 479 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:58,320 open, right? So you walk in, there's a bog. 480 00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:01,200 Now this is what's hard to this is this is the bit that's hard 481 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:04,840 to explain. See in rooms where there's like 482 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:08,600 a nook like this, right? Imagine the chair. 483 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:12,760 Imagine this comes out further. And then imagine the wank chair. 484 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,840 There's a screen up there that you can't there's nothing on it, 485 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:20,880 right, Just the TV. Imagine this comes out further 486 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:25,080 than the chair is like in there. Yep, but like against the wall. 487 00:24:25,360 --> 00:24:28,440 So you have to sit on the corner of the chair so that you're like 488 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:30,280 out of the nook, if you know what I mean, right. 489 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,200 And then they have like a big ball roll thing. 490 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:36,720 It comes down like a big ball roll, like a, like a man's 491 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:41,400 width, a normal man's width to go across the, across the chair. 492 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,520 So you're sitting on a big bit of ball roll, right? 493 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:46,400 Oh, that goes down 1st. And that's all that's on you 494 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:50,360 said on the ball roll and then you have to sit. 495 00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:54,480 You don't you could stand. I'm I'm I wouldn't ever stand 496 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:57,320 for like if anything, I lie down on my side like Caesar. 497 00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:00,760 No, I don't. I'm aside, but I'm I was 498 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:01,520 annoyed. You know what? 499 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,280 I was annoyed. I was in because when we were 500 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,480 talking, this is the thing about stand up, but I was. 501 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:09,040 It's Chloe with your Chloe and Kev. 502 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:13,400 No one's in with me, but Chloe's out in the car and Kev's 503 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:19,240 downstairs and we shop now. We, we're, we're in, by the way. 504 00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:23,480 Is there things like is there like Dirty Magazine? 505 00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:25,960 No, this is where you're talking about there's nothing. 506 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:28,040 There's no. There's no, There's no. 507 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:29,320 Materials. No materials. 508 00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:33,800 No, no supporting materials. It would have been easy. 509 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:36,960 It would have been easier to get a route in a refugee camp. 510 00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:40,920 Like it was fucking like it was not conducive to having a wank, 511 00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,240 right? It was just, it'll be easier to 512 00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:45,160 get a route in the park centre. There you go. 513 00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:51,240 And your similar area, right? That's not the worst thing. 514 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,840 It was so grim, right? And on the wall there's like a 515 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:57,880 landscape. There's like a picture of like a 516 00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:03,240 wee, like a wee, wee lake. And we like a wee cabin on the 517 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:04,960 edge of lake. And I'm going out of rural 518 00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:09,080 property, right? Like so grim, it's the grimmest 519 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:12,280 thing, right? So I knocked one out, right? 520 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:13,840 How does it take longer than normal? 521 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:16,240 Well, well, it took longer, normal, shall we say, to get 522 00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,800 started because I was, I couldn't get comfy. 523 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:20,440 I ended up. I thought you were. 524 00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:21,760 Showing like you do this week Dance. 525 00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:25,520 No, I ended up only when Chloe's there, I ended up having to do. 526 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:29,720 I ended up having to completely D bag, I won't lie, trousers 527 00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:31,720 off, trousers hung up on the. Wall. 528 00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:35,600 Which which is only weird, is only weird now that these are 529 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:37,200 laughing. You're a pervert. 530 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:40,040 No, no, I had there was no there is a lock. 531 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,720 There is a lock on the door and there's signs being like, make 532 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:44,600 sure it sucks. So I give it a good right. 533 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,200 What about the check a lot right. 534 00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:50,920 And there's also a big red cable that's like pool in case of 535 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:52,240 emergencies. I'm like, what happens if you 536 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:53,680 reach for something in the throes? 537 00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:56,840 You know what I mean? Anyway, so it was, it was a 538 00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,280 made, it was a fucking. Nightmare. 539 00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:01,480 So imagine though. By the way, socks on or off. 540 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:05,480 On, socks on, I look like a big chicken, right? 541 00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:12,640 Socks on, socks on, begs off. Phone on or off? 542 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,480 I have my phone so I will say right. 543 00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:21,080 You were looking at ticket sales, your ticket sales. 544 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,360 I saw another one. No, I was. 545 00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:31,680 I was. There could be another 546 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:34,600 marketplace or man this. Could have to text you and get a 547 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:36,080 little ticket warning for Newcastle. 548 00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:38,960 Right? So it was. 549 00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:41,880 It was fucking man. Put on the last few tickets for 550 00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:46,200 Portico there. It was fucking grim, right? 551 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:49,640 Like it was. So long you chat. 10 minutes. 552 00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:54,360 In the in the room to finish 10 minutes, but this was what was 553 00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:55,520 going through my mind beforehand. 554 00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:59,120 Doesn't go on What's a respectable because because 555 00:27:59,120 --> 00:28:02,160 there's a respectable clock out time and then there's there's an 556 00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:04,440 on. There's a not respectable one if 557 00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:06,640 you're in there and then there's a 2 long clock out time. 558 00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:09,240 If you're in and out in one minute, you're a pervert. 559 00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:11,600 Yeah, you're a deviant. You know, like you're like 560 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:13,040 you're. Just turned on like a special 561 00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:15,200 button. Yeah, it's just like thumb it 562 00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:16,600 out. If you're an R. 563 00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:21,640 Well, I would think if you're any more than about 10, yeah, I 564 00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:24,080 think if you're hitting 15 minutes, yeah, you're you're 565 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,920 edge, you know, like so I was going right, older people, it 566 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,240 was very weird. And then when it came up. 567 00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:32,480 Did you think in your head the receptionist, someone's like 568 00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:34,880 Karen Bartlett's a way to do it? Oh, sperm. 569 00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:36,760 There was a bit of that. So they're all kind of standing 570 00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:39,880 around, you know? I well see when I got there, so 571 00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:45,120 when I got there, there was like 2 semen analysts and they're 572 00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:48,680 called, I know, right? They, they were, they were, they 573 00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:51,360 were literally they were, they were sitting with microscopes 574 00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:53,200 and all. So they're looking at stuff in 575 00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:56,480 microscopes and then they just come over and go, right, we'll 576 00:28:56,480 --> 00:28:58,480 be with you in a minute. And they were all, they were 577 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:00,400 both like there was two people that were nice. 578 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:08,880 And then when we went in, I, I was going, she, she, she didn't 579 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:10,560 say anything. That was like, you're that guy. 580 00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,760 She was very professional, but there I doubt that she'll always 581 00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:16,600 go at everyone that yeah, maybe she knows. 582 00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:18,640 I don't know. It felt like she sort of knew 583 00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:20,280 who was about. Yeah, you get the, you get the 584 00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:21,400 look and you know. Right. 585 00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:25,000 So I felt that that was a thing. But also this is the thing about 586 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:27,760 like having stuff in the room, though you probably wouldn't 587 00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:29,120 want it. I mean unless they're seeing 588 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:31,600 less, it's like a fresh mag. Out of the shop, turn me off. 589 00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:34,320 Nothing would turn me off more than a porn mag. 590 00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:37,240 I know plus plus. The guy that's been grubbly 591 00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:39,440 looking through I, I. Think the way people get on now. 592 00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:42,360 See, since like the invention of like online comments, people 593 00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:44,160 feel that they're entitled to comment on everything. 594 00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:48,120 So like, imagine going in there and then like people are going 595 00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,720 to complain that it's not the category that they want. 596 00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:53,480 There wasn't a lot of diversity. Is there any way to get more 597 00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:57,400 Grammys? You know, like, you know, so 598 00:29:57,560 --> 00:30:03,480 anyway, yeah, granny porn. Granny porn. 599 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:07,520 So we it was just for. It was very weird. 600 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:10,320 Put a better WD40 in that love. I've never. 601 00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:15,160 I've never, I've never just, I've never just done a plastic 602 00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:19,760 cup and gone afterwards holding it in my hand. 603 00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:21,480 Gone. And you've never done it in a 604 00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:23,480 plastic cup before? I'm not drank it. 605 00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:24,440 No. Well, that's it. 606 00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:25,200 Well, that's it. We'll see. 607 00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:26,440 I would prefer to use a wine glass. 608 00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:28,920 So anyway, I was going like I was going. 609 00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:31,160 I don't know what I was going. I don't know. 610 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:33,560 It was very weird. And then? 611 00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:36,400 So you hand it back. Well, well in furnace they get 612 00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:39,480 they give you so you tighten it and then they give you a wee 613 00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:41,280 bag. We biohazard bag. 614 00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:44,320 Yep. Why are all of these things 615 00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:46,960 transparent though? That would be my SO that as 616 00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:48,960 you're walking through the hospital with it, Like grant 617 00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:52,360 that it's not far, but I did pass one person, so I'm going. 618 00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:55,920 Yeah, I would have said case we're on out of. 619 00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:58,640 Milk and I know. Salmon milk. 620 00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:03,480 She's like why is it green? Is yours too. 621 00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:06,200 Yeah, it's just that that's a, that's like a false Rd thing. 622 00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:12,960 So it was just weird. And then I like that and so 623 00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:16,800 obviously before I went back out with it, ID check in and fucking 624 00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:19,680 put my bags back on re bagged. So go out. 625 00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:23,760 I it'd be so weird if you were just getting on like you were in 626 00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:25,760 your house, wouldn't it have me wash my hands yet? 627 00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:34,160 There you go right so did all that and then she so this. 628 00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:37,880 So I ring the wee bell at this wee weird window. 629 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:39,640 Like wee half window that they come to. 630 00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:44,840 So I do to signify you've. To say you signify that I have 631 00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:46,480 my bag of. Things. 632 00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:48,960 It was, it was because they weren't they, they were busy 633 00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:51,880 looking at microscopes, right? So you have to press the wee 634 00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:53,120 button. So she comes over. 635 00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:55,560 She could have been more cheaper, by the way, but she 636 00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:57,200 was. She just went well. 637 00:31:57,720 --> 00:31:59,680 You look like a brush shaft of the purpose although. 638 00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:03,880 I'm I'm going you we're we're both well aware that I've just 639 00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:07,960 wanked in that room and possibly it shook the shit out of me. 640 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:14,240 I don't know, right. And she go and I hand it over. 641 00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:18,160 She goes and I'm like, don't look at it in front of me. 642 00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:22,160 Yeah, she goes right. And was there any we spillages? 643 00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:25,960 Oh no, that's everything, including my dignity. 644 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:30,360 Goodbye, like and she goes, OK, well, you get the results, go to 645 00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,520 your GPA in two weeks and I'm like, cracker, can't wait. 646 00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:36,200 I can't fucking wait. Speaking of two weeks, where's 647 00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:40,120 William? Tell the story where you just 648 00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:41,840 finish. Yeah. 649 00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:43,560 And your natural reaction is Willy. 650 00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:46,520 Willy. So Willy T was supposed to be on 651 00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:51,160 this episode with us. But in true Willy T, Willy, he's 652 00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:54,720 like a 92nd character. His grandda has locked him in 653 00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:57,320 the house. We don't know if it's a Fritzl 654 00:32:57,320 --> 00:32:59,960 style move, but like, is Grande though. 655 00:32:59,960 --> 00:33:01,520 Willy's grand though. He talks about it and stand up. 656 00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:04,360 Which rounder has dementia he's trying to track down? 657 00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:07,640 Well, he's locked in the house. I said, is there not a back door 658 00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:09,160 or could you climb at the window down? 659 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:11,200 Makes a valid point. Mobility issues, right? 660 00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:13,240 Here's here's another valid point that was made. 661 00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:15,960 Why does William not have his own key to get out of the house? 662 00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:20,160 Yeah, that's one. He's playing in a live escape 663 00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:25,240 room in his own house, right? Now he's E, he's like P7 but I'm 664 00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:25,920 locked in the house. Oh. 665 00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:27,600 My God has locked me in. Yeah. 666 00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:31,960 Give you back International. Yeah. 667 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,000 Call back Thompson I. Can't give you back mortal 668 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:38,360 combat today. My granddad's locked me in. 669 00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:42,040 Let me see, maybe she's. Been, by the way. 670 00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:43,240 What? I'm starving. 671 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:46,120 Oh, I'll talk. Willy, what's happening, 672 00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:47,240 brother? You're on the pod. 673 00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:47,920 What's? Happening. 674 00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:49,200 Did you get the? Tag No. 675 00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:50,120 What's up? What's it? 676 00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:52,520 What's the latest? I'm still locked in my house 677 00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:55,480 with my granddad coming back. Like there's a couple of 678 00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:59,840 questions from the team here. What 1 valid one being why do 679 00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:01,400 you not have your own key for your house? 680 00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:08,639 I do, but I have lost. It so you don't. 681 00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:14,719 Where did you last have it? Oh fuck no, it's been lost for 682 00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:15,960 like a week, I need to get a new one. 683 00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:18,159 Right. And is there a back door at the 684 00:34:18,159 --> 00:34:21,760 property? It is, but my granddad also has 685 00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:26,960 the key for that. What about like windows or 686 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:32,760 anything like that? Alleged 3 guesses why I can't 687 00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:34,880 get out of a window. Because you're double booked. 688 00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:39,960 Because they're double glazed and they're very small. 689 00:34:40,679 --> 00:34:44,159 Right. Maybe a time before my stomach 690 00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:46,520 hungover my knees I'd be able to get out of window. 691 00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:49,400 Right, but he just described himself as double glazed and 692 00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:53,440 very small. Would would you consider like is 693 00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:55,840 the back door glass or anything? Like could you smash it and then 694 00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:59,720 reach through? Smash the back door, Smash your 695 00:34:59,720 --> 00:35:04,040 ground is backdoor Emily. Or would like would you be open 696 00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:05,720 that's. A ridiculous notion. 697 00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:08,120 What if your ground is smashed? Your backdoor. 698 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:14,520 It'd probably go to gaol. Right. 699 00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:15,960 Well, look, just keep us posted, OK? 700 00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:17,720 Hopefully you can. Even if you can make lunch, I'll 701 00:35:17,720 --> 00:35:20,520 be good. Right, no worries, I'll let you 702 00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:22,600 know. I'm literally waiting for him to 703 00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:24,280 fucking song. I don't even know where he is. 704 00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:26,000 Right. What about you? 705 00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:29,680 Where's your Grammy? She's away to church. 706 00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:32,720 She always goes in the weekends. Right. 707 00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:36,400 Where's your sister? She's out of guard, friends. 708 00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:38,600 Right. All right. 709 00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,000 Speak to you later. Bye. 710 00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:45,160 He's lying. He's raging. 711 00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:47,680 I think he's done giving a same example somewhere. 712 00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:50,600 That's why I was talking yesterday to everybody, no. 713 00:35:51,240 --> 00:35:53,360 That was only yesterday. I was grim. 714 00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:54,920 Two weeks. Yeah. 715 00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,160 I'm Michael. Che and I'm Colin Jose, and 716 00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:00,480 we've got a little secret. Actually, it's a pretty big 717 00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:01,680 secret. Well, now you got to give the 718 00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:03,560 people something. I'm not saying a word. 719 00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:05,120 Oh, then people will know to tune in. 720 00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:07,280 Come on, tell them a little. Like how we're hosting of comedy 721 00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:08,640 events streaming only on Peacock? 722 00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:10,400 Exactly. How it's called New York After 723 00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:13,280 Dark and it's a comedy show that only features drop in comic. 724 00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:15,240 Boom, you nail. Into Michael Che's phone. 725 00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:17,160 Nervous. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey. 726 00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:20,920 New York After Dark. It's some kind of comedy thing, 727 00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,200 and it's streaming now only on Peacock. 728 00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:27,680 You love it. It's been rare. 729 00:36:27,720 --> 00:36:28,760 I don't. I would. 730 00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:30,680 I would struggle with the awkwardness of that. 731 00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:33,040 Obviously made that the actual room. 732 00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:36,360 See the seat mate. Well, this was one thing about 733 00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:38,080 the seat. I'd bring a candle for the room. 734 00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:41,240 I this was one thing about the seat though. 735 00:36:41,240 --> 00:36:47,320 Put right on the balls. Chloe was like Chloe said, Chloe 736 00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:51,800 goes, she Chloe literally goes. Will there be like a Bev with a 737 00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:55,520 wee blanket and I went a jazz catcher? 738 00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:58,720 No, I don't think so. A bed, right? 739 00:36:58,720 --> 00:37:00,800 A wee blanket. That's what she said, and I do. 740 00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:04,040 You know what as well do as well see some people will be like, I 741 00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:06,520 could even put some music on, you know, people will put on 742 00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:08,360 like the weekend or something. Yeah. 743 00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:14,040 And I know the guy who put on Babylon by David Grey. 744 00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:17,240 Oh. Babylon by David Grey knitted 745 00:37:17,240 --> 00:37:18,160 blanket. I'm getting. 746 00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:20,680 Up to your nose. We always put army at normal. 747 00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:21,840 We're going to do something mental now. 748 00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:26,240 I am I I think. What are you being? 749 00:37:26,240 --> 00:37:29,320 Serious. Well fuck off, I'm not. 750 00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:31,120 No what? Even though I don't know that 751 00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:33,120 music is a big part of that for us. 752 00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:37,160 Maybe it is Sting anyway, right? Umm. 753 00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:41,960 No way, Brian Kennedy put the message in the box. 754 00:37:42,720 --> 00:37:44,160 That's a great song. We was. 755 00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:45,520 A great song. Everybody had that album. 756 00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:46,760 Yeah, great. In the cover of that you 757 00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:47,440 remember. It was. 758 00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:49,240 It was great. Majestic kind of guy. 759 00:37:49,240 --> 00:37:50,480 Yeah. Great. 760 00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:51,800 Stole the show. George Best Funeral. 761 00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:57,480 He does. He does he Remember he stole the 762 00:37:57,480 --> 00:38:00,000 show on Van Morrison a couple times in the 90s. 763 00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:01,800 Yeah. Remember when he when he'd have 764 00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:02,640 been. Doing, that's all. 765 00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:04,160 God shined his light. Yeah. 766 00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:07,400 What was there was there's normally he did with him days 767 00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:10,960 like this days like this. So I. 768 00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:13,720 Yeah, when you don't meet a chancer. 769 00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:20,920 It's great. We so. 770 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:23,360 Yeah, sorry. So so there was there was the. 771 00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:25,520 Yeah. Chloe said to me, will there be 772 00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:26,880 a wee bed and all? And I went. 773 00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:29,360 I wouldn't have thought so, but in my head I did. 774 00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:30,360 You know what I thought there would be? 775 00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:34,040 You know, when a doctor says pop up on the couch, yeah, And 776 00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:37,320 there's a thing to lie on. I thought that was going to be 777 00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:38,080 there. Right. 778 00:38:38,080 --> 00:38:41,320 So that if you're a setup white guy, you have an option. 779 00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:44,480 If you're a lie down white guy, yeah, you have an option. 780 00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:47,200 If you're a standard, you've always options, right? 781 00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:47,640 Yeah. Yeah. 782 00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:49,080 So I was going, you know what I mean? 783 00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:52,080 Basically the only thing that we don't have an option for is a 784 00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:53,880 silk curtain hang upside down white guy. 785 00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:54,880 Yeah. You know what I mean? 786 00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:56,920 And here there was no I. Just bring one from home there. 787 00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:59,320 Was no, yeah, there was no plastic bags around either, so 788 00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:02,800 no auto asphyxiation going on. But I imagine, yeah, I started 789 00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:03,800 the last minute. I'm sorry. 790 00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:05,520 I don't mean to be rude. I've just never done this 791 00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:07,960 before. Is there a noose or anything 792 00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:11,280 that I do? I don't mean that it Would you 793 00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:12,440 be able, is it? Could I? 794 00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:15,120 Would you walk on my back? I thought, I thought it would 795 00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:16,960 be. Can you come in and shout abuse 796 00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:17,520 at me? Yeah. 797 00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:21,000 Tell me I'm dirty. Right there was I I said to 798 00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:23,440 Chloe it'd be funny to go down and to go full name and you just 799 00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:26,240 unzip and go care board. You know what I mean? 800 00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:29,360 Just thought it was it was fucking mental. 801 00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:32,240 The seat, the seat was very uncomfortable because it because 802 00:39:32,240 --> 00:39:34,800 it was jammed in the corner, but you couldn't move it right. 803 00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:36,960 You know what I mean? So and then you become aware 804 00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:39,560 that if you start trying to fucking re functuate the place 805 00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:41,760 yes that you're adding time onto your clock at time. 806 00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:43,760 So yes, it's a fucking nightmare. 807 00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:47,760 Do you know what see 10 minutes, not not 10 minutes after I 808 00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:50,080 fucking handed that bag over you went hands were shine by the 809 00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:53,280 way, Cafe, right Cafe straight on for a croissant. 810 00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:56,800 Forget about the whole thing. It's it's fucking room. 811 00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,160 It room. I mean, how quick would you not 812 00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:02,760 in cafe Oh. Depends. 813 00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:05,800 Depends how much pastry is left. Because they'll all Do you know 814 00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:08,000 what started happening recently? When we go down on Sundays, 815 00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,600 pastry is gone. Sells it early. 816 00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:13,360 People have started. People have started like it's 817 00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:15,560 getting earlier. Used to be that if you were 818 00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:18,920 there by 12 you'd get something. Then it was like elevens the 819 00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:21,200 time. Now it's like on Sunday you need 820 00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:24,040 to be there like between half 9 and 10 if you want salts. 821 00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:25,200 Like people are getting up earlier. 822 00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:28,760 I've started. Someone has to say people are 823 00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:31,120 getting up earlier. You're honestly you're right, 824 00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:33,680 because you might remember doing anything on a Sunday if you're 825 00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:35,960 going to arrange anything with a friend, the Sunday 11. 826 00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:38,960 Early 11 or 12. Nowadays, people, it is. 827 00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:41,600 That's nine shit. Well, you I like, I like the 828 00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:43,640 earliest I'm an. Early I'm getting better on it, 829 00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:45,320 but it melts at you know what I hate? 830 00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:48,120 I hate it being every day for five days. 831 00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:49,800 What do you think of this? I'm going to. 832 00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:52,680 No, like I need, you know I can save it's moment you had. 833 00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:54,080 To get up early. Save it, Save. 834 00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:56,360 It's Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Or at least that's OK If 835 00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:58,160 Thursday and Friday I'm in the house, right? 836 00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:01,400 Yeah, but that. But Saturday, Sunday, 837 00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:05,120 everybody's off. No, not everyone. 838 00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:08,880 Most people. Tell you one guy who isn't God. 839 00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,840 Yeah. Always working. 840 00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:15,080 Umm, what was I going to say to you there? 841 00:41:15,720 --> 00:41:18,120 Oh no. Sorry about people like me not 842 00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:21,080 been early and doing anything. We were in Amsterdam there late 843 00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:23,760 night. I don't mind saying this half 844 00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:28,000 one 1:45 we were going back to the hotel but our flight the 845 00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:32,640 next day was 1250 so me and Tony got up very early. 846 00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:35,760 Me, him and Sean Hegarty were for a nice walk around Amsterdam 847 00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:39,040 and breakfast. Late night 8:00 AM. 848 00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:41,600 We made a point of 8:00 AM wake up we'll be down the lobby for 849 00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:42,800 half eight. Go for this walk. 850 00:41:43,240 --> 00:41:45,960 Would you have joined us? No, yeah, it would have been 851 00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:47,400 9:00. I could have considered it 852 00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:50,840 because I would get up at it. I wouldn't say to meet people, 853 00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:52,400 idiot. I would have to be getting up at 854 00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:56,200 7:00 and I don't wake up. Right, you need to put a chair 855 00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:57,840 into your corner. I'll have to. 856 00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:00,960 I'll have to quickly thumb out in the room temperature bag. 857 00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:04,640 And then I was so sad. I was. 858 00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:06,680 Just like a really disrespectful term for a woman. 859 00:42:07,720 --> 00:42:10,760 She's a room temperature bag at all Room temperature bag. 860 00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:15,680 I That's great. It's the sad, the saddest wank 861 00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:21,320 I've ever had. Use that as a really like a 862 00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:23,280 dramatic trailer for this episode. 863 00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:27,720 Here's a stinker. I'm going on Monday to 864 00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:30,520 Copenhagen and Oslo, in which order I don't know. 865 00:42:30,720 --> 00:42:34,880 With Willy on Monday, the only flight we can get is from 866 00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:40,920 Dublin. 6:25 AM Monday from Dublin. 867 00:42:41,240 --> 00:42:44,200 Stinker. Just two and a quarter, like 2 868 00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:45,960 1/4 hour flight. So it's going to be fine. 869 00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:48,400 But you're hanging on Copenhagen all day. 870 00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:50,040 But we couldn't go. I don't mind. 871 00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:52,120 Staying in Copenhagen that night, Yeah, yeah, that means 872 00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:55,040 you can check in, maybe get away already checking we 11 AM or 873 00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:57,800 something. We can see the city, but if we 874 00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:00,240 went from Belfast we couldn't go direct, wouldn't get there to 875 00:43:00,240 --> 00:43:03,520 425 and with my luck of chosen we I know I should start today. 876 00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:05,400 We get there at 7:58. You'll be there when 877 00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:07,200 Copenhagen's actually call something new. 878 00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:09,160 Yeah. Just change the name of the 879 00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:10,080 city. Like what? 880 00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:12,360 I'm reading I brought you a book. 881 00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:16,320 I ordered a book on Amazon but the pyramids in order 2 so I'm 882 00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:17,960 going to give you 1. Amazing. 883 00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:19,120 Thank you. No problem. 884 00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:20,320 How? How sick we're talking. 885 00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:27,120 I've started to enjoy we thin books, but that I've I've 886 00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:28,040 started. That's very thin. 887 00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:29,760 I've used a book I've started to enjoy. 888 00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:34,040 We we, it's long, we thins. You enjoy them? 889 00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:36,000 What? I've I enjoy we thins. 890 00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,880 Yeah, yeah. It's like doing. 891 00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:40,560 It's like doing a documentary. What do you think? 892 00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:43,600 Thick ones? You're devour those. 893 00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:47,000 People who can't read at all. I I think that's harsh. 894 00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:49,600 That's so latest anyway. Seriously, you'll learn. 895 00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:51,160 But anyway, no. The what do you call it? 896 00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:54,960 The the I've started to enjoy like we short documentaries. 897 00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:56,760 I've stopped. I've stopped enjoying these 898 00:43:57,080 --> 00:43:58,480 needless 6 porters. Yeah. 899 00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:00,280 Give me, give me, give me an hour and a half. 900 00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:01,640 Do you watch your day? It was good. 901 00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:07,120 Grant Mitchell on On the Hat and Garden Heist. 902 00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:09,120 I mean, if any if I-40. 5 minutes. 903 00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:12,000 If I want anyone to fill me in on that, it's Grant Mitchell, 904 00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:13,600 Do. You know that he was, his dad 905 00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:15,560 was in the the Flying Squad in Scotland Yard. 906 00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:18,600 I didn't know it right. And they, they were the ones 907 00:44:18,600 --> 00:44:20,200 that went after the Hutton Garden Raiders. 908 00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:22,880 It was all old bastards. They had opinion themselves, 909 00:44:23,240 --> 00:44:24,200 never kept their feet in the. Ground. 910 00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:28,480 Oh, flat score for you. And so, yeah, I have no interest 911 00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,080 in Hutton Garden robbery. Why? 912 00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:31,640 Don't care. I like Rob. 913 00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:34,520 I like robberies. No, I'm I'm fine. 914 00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:37,800 We still play that in court. I'm, I'm, I'm fascinated by the 915 00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:40,760 concept of of like bargain robbery. 916 00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:41,880 What? Too much planning. 917 00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:45,800 I could never be part of it unless we're going today to do 918 00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:46,200 it. Here's your. 919 00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:48,200 Question right, because this came up in this documentary, 920 00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:49,720 which and this was something I didn't know about it. 921 00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:56,960 See if say say me you so hypothetical say me you, Welly 922 00:44:57,440 --> 00:45:00,640 and Dave were all doing a robbery, right? 923 00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:02,240 No one would suspect you. He'll tell you why. 924 00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:08,840 I've got I've got them doing my alibi. 925 00:45:09,240 --> 00:45:11,760 We'll book 2 family rooms in a Holiday Inn. 926 00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:14,680 I had to be there. I said my name. 927 00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:17,440 I had to be there to check in. So me. 928 00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:19,680 You, Willie and Dave. Me, you, Willie and Dave were 929 00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:25,040 doing a robbery, right? Yes, we're in and say Willie 930 00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:28,560 Willie's double booked himself with something else that he's 931 00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:31,160 meant to be doing and in the middle of actually committing 932 00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:36,840 the robbery, actually committing the robbery leaves right and 933 00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:38,240 goes. What's his role? 934 00:45:38,240 --> 00:45:39,440 Is he the getaway driver? Is. 935 00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:43,280 He so he's a guy, let's say Willie is a guy who's literally 936 00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:45,400 drilling through part of the wall, right? 937 00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:48,440 And in the middle of it, the drill or whatever it is breaks 938 00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:49,480 and. You do that night, get out of 939 00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:52,160 his house. And he goes and he goes. 940 00:45:52,160 --> 00:45:53,720 I'm out and he. Leaves. 941 00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:56,840 Do we know he's left? Yeah, you know he's gone, right? 942 00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:59,080 And you have to come back the next day to finish the robbery 943 00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:01,000 because you're doing this over a weekend, right? 944 00:46:01,720 --> 00:46:03,600 You're coming back the next day. This is what they did. 945 00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:06,880 And then back. And then you get away with the 946 00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:09,520 stuff. Then afterwards, when you're in 947 00:46:09,520 --> 00:46:13,000 the fucking hiding out and laying low period, that guy says 948 00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:16,120 he wants a cut. I'm going. 949 00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:17,440 You go and get. Fucked. 950 00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:21,600 That's like you drop out of a charity gig and then I. 951 00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:25,480 Replaced. Yeah, that's like you drop out 952 00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:29,840 of a corporate and I have to replace you and don't know what 953 00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:31,600 I'm getting paid. Yeah, it's crazy that I've been 954 00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:34,480 admitted to hospital that day. You are not. 955 00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:36,800 You are feeling well. This is all hypothetical shame. 956 00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:39,320 Yeah, it's. Hypothetical but hypothetically, 957 00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:42,080 I'd been in hospital in Dublin with an asthma attack on a 958 00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:44,720 family holiday and you weren't feeling the best. 959 00:46:45,240 --> 00:46:48,680 Hypothetically. But hypothetically have a broker 960 00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:51,160 and do it now. Hypothetically. 961 00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:54,240 Here, here's a question for you as a comedian, right? 962 00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:57,840 See if you've been booked to do 10 minutes and when you get 963 00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:00,840 there, I fuck before you even there. 964 00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:03,960 Somebody says, yeah, I'm not going to 20. 965 00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:07,640 Is that a big problem for you? It's not a big problem for me. 966 00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:12,840 If it was hypothetically a snooker event, I'd be going. 967 00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:15,480 I'd prefer someone else was here to do a set to, but that's 968 00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:17,720 hypothetical. If the person organising that 969 00:47:17,720 --> 00:47:20,120 whole event hadn't even told you what you were meant to be doing 970 00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:23,920 yet, and you also hypothetically, and you felt 971 00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:28,600 sick, yeah, wouldn't you think I'm better getting well here 972 00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:30,560 instead of going out to something I don't know what I'm 973 00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:33,360 doing and I'm not well and I don't want to infect other 974 00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:35,120 people with whatever it is I've infected? 975 00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:39,200 General malaise. Is that where I thought it was a 976 00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:39,960 new number? Yeah. 977 00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:42,720 Anyway, hypothetically, hypothetically though in the 978 00:47:42,720 --> 00:47:45,720 robbery situation and that person says to you I want the 979 00:47:45,720 --> 00:47:49,080 cut, do you go I no worries or do you go fuck yourself? 980 00:47:49,320 --> 00:47:50,920 I say fuck. Yourself, I would say fuck 981 00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:52,840 yourself, but part of me is thinking maybe I need to keep 982 00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:56,320 him sweet, you know what I mean? Like OK, he's done a shit thing 983 00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:58,480 but. But he but he can't incriminate 984 00:47:58,480 --> 00:48:01,560 you because if he did eat, he would also go down because he. 985 00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:04,240 Then no, I don't get. He did take part in the robbery, 986 00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:06,800 by the way, but he didn't finish taking part in Robber. 987 00:48:07,040 --> 00:48:08,560 Did they catch the guys? Oh, why? 988 00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:10,000 Did they all go to gaol? No. 989 00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:11,280 Yes. Are they out? 990 00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:15,800 Some of them are out, one of them is dead, and one of them is 991 00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:20,120 still in. The the ones did they lose all 992 00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:23,560 the month like right, right, right. 993 00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:25,760 Did they get some money off them? 994 00:48:26,960 --> 00:48:29,800 I think well, I think they they caught them red handed with a 995 00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:34,200 little stuff I think was part of it mad like yeah, mad story. 996 00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:36,120 I do you know what I remember but that one that happened I 997 00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:40,440 remember that all the experts on Sky News were going this is ex 998 00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:42,760 Russian military. These are people from Serbia. 999 00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:45,840 All this now it turns out actually Michael Caine and the 1000 00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,200 lads from fucking. It was Dad's Army. 1001 00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:49,920 Yeah, it was a little old. Dad. 1002 00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:51,520 Who? Who's broken through this wall? 1003 00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:53,320 Jim Broadband. Yeah, you know what I mean? 1004 00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:56,200 Like fucking mental. It was old boys. 1005 00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:59,040 Yeah, it was just our old. But old boys know how to get it 1006 00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:00,480 done. I know, but there were there 1007 00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:04,080 were one of them's on talk. This documentary is 45 minutes. 1008 00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:08,480 I'll watch it very. I've started watching Kin and I 1009 00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:10,960 wasn't sure about it at the start, but now I like it because 1010 00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:13,320 I was comparing it to Love Hate and I loved Love Hate Love Hate 1011 00:49:13,320 --> 00:49:17,280 was good, but Ken is. Ken is good, Ian Gillan's good 1012 00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:19,000 and anything he does, Karen Hines isn't. 1013 00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:20,160 He's brilliant. He is brilliant. 1014 00:49:20,640 --> 00:49:23,920 I like him. I like him in in Harry Potter. 1015 00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:25,880 Would you like Dumbledore's brother? 1016 00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:28,480 Would you like it if we did a gritty Belfast drum? 1017 00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:31,440 Yes, Shen. I've, I've had one written 1018 00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:38,000 hypothetically, it's been with a large studio that I've worked 1019 00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:40,080 with before. Yeah, you know, connected with 1020 00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:44,520 BBC and they haven't pitched it as we're waiting on the icon of 1021 00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:46,640 a show like at knockback recently. 1022 00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:49,200 Hypothetical. Hypothetical. 1023 00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:52,440 You rage it about that. Hypothetically, I'm no longer 1024 00:49:52,440 --> 00:49:54,800 wanting to speak to half the people in that place. 1025 00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:57,960 Hypothetically, right? Gritty Belfast Drum. 1026 00:49:57,960 --> 00:50:00,520 Gritty Belfast what? Would it be called hypothetical? 1027 00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:01,440 I can't tell you what it's called. 1028 00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:04,600 Hypothetically no. But hypothetically, what's it 1029 00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:05,800 called? I can't tell you. 1030 00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:09,080 I actually can't tell you that because some controls, they 1031 00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:10,440 look, it's good. That's a good name. 1032 00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:11,680 Do you know what's called? It's called. 1033 00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:12,920 It's called. Fuck's sake. 1034 00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:14,080 Call it's. It should. 1035 00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:17,360 It should be called Fox Sake. Yeah, you have to say it like a 1036 00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:19,960 so the continuity and there's a BBC, you have to go and next on 1037 00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:25,040 BBC. Fox sake, What do you call them 1038 00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:25,760 that? A good fox. 1039 00:50:26,240 --> 00:50:27,760 The ultimate fox? Yeah. 1040 00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:31,920 So Karen wrote a thing for Channel 4 BLOB to online on 1041 00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:37,360 Channel 4 and I was in it and Ian Beatty from Game of Thrones 1042 00:50:37,360 --> 00:50:39,840 and many other group productions plays like the lead in it 1043 00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:44,200 through a bad guy and he has to say the line in it reacting to 1044 00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:47,240 something fuck sake. And we would all deliver it like 1045 00:50:47,240 --> 00:50:48,560 this. Fuck sake. 1046 00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:51,720 Ian Beatty's fuck's sake should have won him an Oscar. 1047 00:50:51,720 --> 00:50:53,120 Yeah, yeah. And it wasn't even a film. 1048 00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:55,560 But the way he says, the fuck's sake. 1049 00:50:55,760 --> 00:50:58,880 It is sake. It is the greatest Fuck's sake, 1050 00:50:58,920 --> 00:51:00,520 there's. So many levels to it. 1051 00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:03,760 Yeah, it was great. It's actually that I loved it. 1052 00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:04,760 Film. I loved that. 1053 00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:07,480 I loved that. I would fully have loved to have 1054 00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:10,120 made that like. You, we filmed it and you just 1055 00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:12,280 sat outside the shop when we're filming it. 1056 00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:14,800 And fingerless gloves on a little, a little still. 1057 00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:16,760 You and Kevin Soup. This is what to do. 1058 00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:19,040 See, when you're the writer, they want you around, but you're 1059 00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:20,160 doing. Yeah, yeah. 1060 00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:23,000 I love that. You know what was better though, 1061 00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:25,240 on the last thing that we shot that doesn't get made. 1062 00:51:25,240 --> 00:51:27,280 Cheers lads. Was the hypothetically, 1063 00:51:27,600 --> 00:51:28,840 hypothetically. Thank you very much. 1064 00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:34,560 The last thing is I had a char and all thought I didn't have to 1065 00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:37,120 sit on the ground right so. You're moving on up. 1066 00:51:37,320 --> 00:51:39,920 I still had circulation after that, but it was good. 1067 00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:42,560 Can I say looking back, I. I still lots of char as well, 1068 00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:44,080 hypothetically. I don't think costumes were 1069 00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:44,880 right. Pardon. 1070 00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:46,760 I don't think costumes right. I don't think costumes. 1071 00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:49,440 No, I hear I wasn't happy. You know what, There's things I 1072 00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:51,680 wasn't happy with, and a lot of it was to do with that. 1073 00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:55,000 Quite, quite true. Because with stuff like that, 1074 00:51:55,360 --> 00:51:59,800 especially if it's shot in our anywhere in Ireland, we have to 1075 00:51:59,800 --> 00:52:02,520 like believe. It yeah, that's my that this is 1076 00:52:02,520 --> 00:52:06,520 my this is my name. And with that stuff, I that's a 1077 00:52:06,520 --> 00:52:10,240 lot of that stuff got taken over by other people and I'm sitting. 1078 00:52:10,240 --> 00:52:12,920 On here and by is it fair to say, Brett? 1079 00:52:14,960 --> 00:52:23,320 Hypothetically, and also by some people from down South, the most 1080 00:52:23,320 --> 00:52:25,480 aggressive drinking over water I've ever seen in my life. 1081 00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:30,520 Fuck sake, fuck's sake. I was good too on it. 1082 00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:33,640 I was very, I was very good. You know who loves that, by the 1083 00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:34,200 way? Dave. 1084 00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:35,520 Dave. My favourite scene I've ever 1085 00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:40,560 acted in is where in beating is being like really intense, the 1086 00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:46,480 Chloe and Tara and Chloe's man it and I pop out and I ask if 1087 00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:49,200 anybody I'm supposed to be this medicine side king and I ask if 1088 00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:51,200 anybody wants Custer cream cream tea. 1089 00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:53,600 That was my. Fee I loved all I'd say you know 1090 00:52:53,680 --> 00:52:58,120 some people I I think some people didn't get so so just in 1091 00:52:58,120 --> 00:53:00,920 comments. People don't get stuff all the 1092 00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:04,880 time when I'm sitting on all my like people people didn't get 1093 00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:09,200 that the point is in Beatty is like sort of he's actually hard 1094 00:53:09,200 --> 00:53:12,800 on it, but even then has like a couple of charisma yeah, but he 1095 00:53:12,800 --> 00:53:15,400 has like mitigating things that don't make him as hard as he 1096 00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:18,400 seems like he's like hypoglycemic and stuff like that 1097 00:53:18,400 --> 00:53:21,240 and then your character is meant to be like learning from him, 1098 00:53:21,240 --> 00:53:23,040 but you're also like you're like a weak Dick. 1099 00:53:23,040 --> 00:53:25,600 Yeah, you know, and it's sort of like and character and you're 1100 00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:27,480 trying, you're trying to be but you. 1101 00:53:27,480 --> 00:53:29,600 But the whole point of your character isn't that you're 1102 00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:30,640 hard. The whole point of your 1103 00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:34,600 character is your standard and no one buys you as a hard man. 1104 00:53:34,600 --> 00:53:37,240 That's the whole point. And like people are like don't 1105 00:53:37,240 --> 00:53:39,920 don't really pay. She and Todd being and I'm 1106 00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:42,400 going, yeah, fuck you, He's playing. 1107 00:53:42,400 --> 00:53:44,200 That's exactly the way. It is very well. 1108 00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:46,240 You refer, you were, you were excellent. 1109 00:53:46,360 --> 00:53:48,640 Sure spin off. Hypothetically, Sure, spin off. 1110 00:53:48,680 --> 00:53:52,360 Shit, we can do a spin off. You know, I've written a similar 1111 00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:58,560 thing, like in the same sort of world with a similar boss and 1112 00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:02,360 sidekick vibe and it's. Almost like the same show, but 1113 00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:04,040 you've renamed it. It's not. 1114 00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:05,720 It's very what? Do you say to people who say 1115 00:54:05,720 --> 00:54:06,640 that? It's very different. 1116 00:54:06,640 --> 00:54:09,840 I say you're incorrect, right? But no, it's very different and 1117 00:54:09,840 --> 00:54:13,120 it's a feature. OK, but like it has the two of 1118 00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:16,440 the characters are similar to that, but not the same. 1119 00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:19,600 More, more Father Sonny, but fun. 1120 00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:23,680 That sounds like you describe some really negative father, 1121 00:54:23,680 --> 00:54:27,000 Sonny, a little bit like a like a older couple. 1122 00:54:28,120 --> 00:54:29,800 No, no. No, father Sonny. 1123 00:54:29,800 --> 00:54:31,120 He's 30. He's 32. 1124 00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:33,160 He's 58. Father Sonny, he sounds like the 1125 00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:37,360 coolest priest in New York. Yeah, it's Father Sonny. 1126 00:54:37,720 --> 00:54:41,080 Father Sonny, Father Sonny's only preached to play ball. 1127 00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:47,080 He's the only, he's the only priest that the mob say no to. 1128 00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:49,000 He's talking on the devil, this guy. 1129 00:54:49,240 --> 00:54:53,200 Sorry, he's the only priest that says no to the mall. 1130 00:54:53,200 --> 00:54:56,200 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love it. Yeah, he's the real godfather. 1131 00:54:56,240 --> 00:54:58,800 Yeah, I love it. He's up there in Jordans. 1132 00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:05,440 Oh my God, what a time. Father Sonny, what's his strike? 1133 00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:07,360 And he loves it like Father Sonny loves it. 1134 00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:11,280 And then the Does somebody find out that Father Sonny might have 1135 00:55:11,280 --> 00:55:13,080 killed somebody? Yep, back in the day. 1136 00:55:13,120 --> 00:55:16,400 Yep. You know, pre pre pre seminary. 1137 00:55:16,880 --> 00:55:19,600 He get at the end so. Busy their analysis. 1138 00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:22,360 They're trying to cut, they're trying to close his church down. 1139 00:55:23,080 --> 00:55:26,840 That's the film that's good. And the mob are basically saying 1140 00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:28,840 we'll give you the money to keep it afloat. 1141 00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:30,360 He won't take that money, take it. 1142 00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:33,280 But what he is going to do is play a pick up game of 1143 00:55:33,280 --> 00:55:38,040 basketball and gamble it all. Oh, I love it, Father Sonny. 1144 00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:41,520 And it's him and a load of these kids basically versus these like 1145 00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:44,400 non white guys. Father jump shot. 1146 00:55:44,680 --> 00:55:46,560 We love it. Now, Father Sonny. 1147 00:55:46,560 --> 00:55:48,360 Father Sonny. Yeah, no, I'm just saying that's 1148 00:55:48,360 --> 00:55:50,160 what he calls it when he. Right, right, right. 1149 00:55:50,160 --> 00:55:50,840 No, he said. No. 1150 00:55:51,040 --> 00:55:53,320 No 3 pointer, he says. Amen. 1151 00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:57,000 Ah yeah, that's enjoyable. Yeah, I'll take. 1152 00:55:57,040 --> 00:56:00,560 Out who would play Father Sonny? I'm seeing like I'm seeing Will 1153 00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:03,040 Willem Dafoe. That's old. 1154 00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:06,080 He's old to be basketball, no? OK. 1155 00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:09,480 He's he can be, he can be the Bishop that won't give Father 1156 00:56:09,480 --> 00:56:10,680 Sonny the money that he needs to. 1157 00:56:10,680 --> 00:56:15,120 Get Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, what about, eh? 1158 00:56:15,600 --> 00:56:18,680 What about like umm, Tobey Maguire or somebody like? 1159 00:56:18,680 --> 00:56:22,160 That Ed Norton, he's he played a basketball and priest and keep 1160 00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:26,280 keeping the 5th with him and Smelly, What do you call her 1161 00:56:26,280 --> 00:56:29,320 own? Smelly someone. 1162 00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:31,400 Oh sorry, I must have said that wrong. 1163 00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:34,160 Your one that was in Dharma and Greg. 1164 00:56:34,160 --> 00:56:37,120 Dharma. Remember Dharma and Greg from 1165 00:56:37,120 --> 00:56:39,080 the 90s? No, the second. 1166 00:56:39,080 --> 00:56:42,600 He's an uptight office guy. She's a free spirit. 1167 00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:47,960 World's collide commonly. What's the number one? 1168 00:56:48,440 --> 00:56:50,800 What's her name? Why did I say smelly? 1169 00:56:50,800 --> 00:56:52,640 What's the number one sitcom? What? 1170 00:56:52,920 --> 00:56:55,720 Jenna Elfman. Why is my brain? 1171 00:56:57,120 --> 00:57:03,240 I've tried to say Elfman and my brain has said smelly. 1172 00:57:03,400 --> 00:57:04,600 Did you just? Short circuit. 1173 00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:06,200 I think it did. I think we. 1174 00:57:06,200 --> 00:57:09,160 Do you need to go into we? Operator moving the fucking 1175 00:57:09,160 --> 00:57:13,320 leads around in my brain just went no, it's that one that's 1176 00:57:13,320 --> 00:57:17,360 weird pull Dharma Greg out him at that cold foot isn't that 1177 00:57:17,360 --> 00:57:22,200 what that movie's called keeping the fifth hey Ed Ed Norton plays 1178 00:57:22,200 --> 00:57:25,080 a priest who's friends with Ben Stellar who plays a rabbi 1179 00:57:25,080 --> 00:57:29,440 they're all friends with Dharma right with Elfman and they. 1180 00:57:29,440 --> 00:57:31,440 Smelly. They they smell her, and they 1181 00:57:31,440 --> 00:57:37,160 decide Stellar's gonna, Stellar's gonna go out with her. 1182 00:57:37,480 --> 00:57:38,880 But Edward Norton also fancies her. 1183 00:57:38,880 --> 00:57:40,400 But he can't go out because he's a priest. 1184 00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:41,000 Not so. It's a web. 1185 00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:43,520 It's common, right? Keep the faith. 1186 00:57:43,520 --> 00:57:49,680 Unbelievable Knowledge, 1999. It annoys me when you say you're 1187 00:57:49,680 --> 00:57:51,400 like that. It annoys me when you say the 1188 00:57:51,400 --> 00:57:57,280 year like that. Oh. 99. 99 two guys man, I'm 1189 00:57:57,280 --> 00:57:59,080 trying to get Gerald Butler on the podcast at the minute. 1190 00:57:59,200 --> 00:58:02,360 Pardon I'm trying to get Gerald Butler on the Gerald Butler I 1191 00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:03,280 put up on Instagram. The other. 1192 00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:04,760 Name and well, he's not even here. 1193 00:58:04,760 --> 00:58:07,120 Why fucking get me? And when Butler's in we can 1194 00:58:07,120 --> 00:58:09,640 compare him 6 packs. I know who Leonidas is. 1195 00:58:10,040 --> 00:58:14,520 And he, I wrote up on Instagram the other night, still trying to 1196 00:58:14,520 --> 00:58:17,240 get Gerald Butler. I wrote Gerald instead of Gerald 1197 00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:19,440 and everyone. He's not coming all night, man. 1198 00:58:19,880 --> 00:58:22,040 You're calling Gerald? Gerald, I don't think that's. 1199 00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:23,560 Going to be the difference in I'm coming on. 1200 00:58:23,560 --> 00:58:26,640 Gerald is a way less currently in the Gerald is he? 1201 00:58:26,680 --> 00:58:28,680 Yes, he's here shooting a movie for a few months. 1202 00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:31,040 Fox it. I'm not, but I know his Barber. 1203 00:58:31,040 --> 00:58:33,920 I found out so I'm on the him. Nope, not Coco. 1204 00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:35,920 He should. He should. 1205 00:58:35,920 --> 00:58:39,600 Jared, if you're watching No Blasters fancy we game of FIFA 1206 00:58:39,600 --> 00:58:42,800 man pizza, I'd feed you. I'd be so cross. 1207 00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:45,400 I'd be so happy. I know you would. 1208 00:58:45,760 --> 00:58:50,040 I'm I I would be very happy what I call them. 1209 00:58:50,040 --> 00:58:54,560 Do you know I I don't, I have no way of making this happen, but I 1210 00:58:54,560 --> 00:58:57,960 would absolutely be up a route. I know he's coming here to do 1211 00:58:57,960 --> 00:58:59,840 music. Russell Crowe. 1212 00:58:59,840 --> 00:59:04,640 Oh, mate, you're a wee Dick. I bet you you have a way of 1213 00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:05,600 contact. I know you have. 1214 00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:07,600 I know you do. I know you do. 1215 00:59:07,600 --> 00:59:09,040 Here, I'll let you have your Butler. 1216 00:59:09,040 --> 00:59:11,800 I'll tell you what contact. OK, I'll tell you what I'll ask 1217 00:59:11,800 --> 00:59:12,640 him to do. No blaster. 1218 00:59:17,400 --> 00:59:19,560 Could you imagine? I'll be great. 1219 00:59:19,720 --> 00:59:22,120 I deserve the Mate crew. I've seen all of those films. 1220 00:59:22,120 --> 00:59:25,560 He'd like jokes or too. I've seen Romper, Stomper, Few, 1221 00:59:25,560 --> 00:59:28,840 a few, Senator Alamar. That's a great. 1222 00:59:28,840 --> 00:59:30,480 Film. So probably the best boxing 1223 00:59:30,480 --> 00:59:32,800 film. Yeah, probably Raging Balls. 1224 00:59:32,800 --> 00:59:36,880 Great as well region ball. Sorry, Raging Bull. 1225 00:59:40,440 --> 00:59:42,760 I think in between what we both say is right. 1226 00:59:42,840 --> 00:59:46,480 Raging Raging Bull. Raging Bull. 1227 00:59:46,480 --> 00:59:49,400 That's that's now bail. Yeah. 1228 00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:51,200 The Jake tomato. Jake tomato. 1229 00:59:51,560 --> 00:59:55,800 Yeah, it's great tomato sauce. Umm, what are you getting this 1230 00:59:55,800 --> 00:59:59,360 weekend mate? I am doing 2 shows in Bangor, 1231 00:59:59,360 --> 01:00:03,800 Friday, Saturday. When's the score You just as it 1232 01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:08,440 is. Two weeks I'm on tour, I'm in, 1233 01:00:08,440 --> 01:00:12,480 I'm in general. I'm in Glasgow number already 1234 01:00:12,480 --> 01:00:13,560 sold out. I'm in. 1235 01:00:13,760 --> 01:00:19,280 I'm in Newcastle upon Tyne on the 2nd of April, then 1236 01:00:19,360 --> 01:00:23,920 Manchester 3rd of April, London 4th of April, Liverpool 5th of 1237 01:00:23,920 --> 01:00:27,480 April, say London 4th of April but don't know about shows 1238 01:00:27,480 --> 01:00:31,240 happening now because the venue keep an eye out on socials. 1239 01:00:32,480 --> 01:00:34,960 The venue isn't ridiculous gigs anymore. 1240 01:00:35,880 --> 01:00:40,040 It's there's been a whole scandal and I thought what we 1241 01:00:40,040 --> 01:00:42,480 may be moving it or we might be doing it, in which case there is 1242 01:00:42,480 --> 01:00:47,840 no scandal hypothetically. Hutton Garden in the vault. 1243 01:00:48,080 --> 01:00:50,320 Oh, I would never have gone through that whole. 1244 01:00:50,320 --> 01:00:51,960 Thing just move it to do another venue. 1245 01:00:52,280 --> 01:00:54,640 They're talking about that. We're trying it's to try to get 1246 01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:58,760 one on that day at short notice. It's difficult, you know, 1247 01:00:58,960 --> 01:01:02,200 because it's a think it's a Thursday or Friday. 1248 01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:05,040 Buckingham Palace. I would do Buckingham Palace, 1249 01:01:05,040 --> 01:01:07,680 although it don't be wild, I'll be scared to go in there in case 1250 01:01:07,680 --> 01:01:09,760 they just start photoshopping me and getting on like it's not 1251 01:01:09,760 --> 01:01:13,600 weird. Did you see George Galloway's 1252 01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:16,400 and like, you know, the MP? Yeah. 1253 01:01:17,120 --> 01:01:19,240 I know him. I know him because of this. 1254 01:01:20,080 --> 01:01:23,480 Would you like me to be the cat? Yeah, Oh, he loves being a cat. 1255 01:01:23,480 --> 01:01:25,800 I know I get that done. Listen to this close your eyes 1256 01:01:25,800 --> 01:01:28,080 and just as nursery headphones. I'm doing that too. 1257 01:01:28,200 --> 01:01:33,160 Ready when I at the start of this listen because it's my 1258 01:01:33,160 --> 01:01:35,480 sweet bit dry and he does this noise at the start of it, right? 1259 01:01:37,600 --> 01:01:40,320 Would you like me to be the cat? It's pretty. 1260 01:01:40,320 --> 01:01:41,240 Good. That's good, isn't it? 1261 01:01:41,240 --> 01:01:42,160 It's pretty good. That's good. 1262 01:01:42,760 --> 01:01:46,520 All the perfumes of Arabia. That's something that he said 1263 01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:50,120 before as well. It was I could not cover up the 1264 01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:52,120 stench of your corruption or something like that anyway, 1265 01:01:52,120 --> 01:01:54,240 right, So it. Sounds like he's opened up a 1266 01:01:54,240 --> 01:01:55,800 discount. That aftershave shop? 1267 01:01:56,920 --> 01:02:00,000 Come on down. Oh, the perfumes of Arabia. 1268 01:02:00,800 --> 01:02:04,360 And for Saji, blue jeans. Harbour colour to John Leslie 1269 01:02:04,360 --> 01:02:08,720 anyway, so they so the What were we all about? 1270 01:02:08,720 --> 01:02:11,280 Why George Galloway said that weirdly. 1271 01:02:11,280 --> 01:02:13,600 I'm asking you to promote your tour and this is where you're 1272 01:02:13,600 --> 01:02:15,200 at. Tour is going to be class. 1273 01:02:15,200 --> 01:02:17,280 Come sit, George Galloway was saying. 1274 01:02:17,320 --> 01:02:22,080 He was accusing. Her of being dead, he said. 1275 01:02:22,080 --> 01:02:26,960 She's been missing for 80 days. Is she alive? 1276 01:02:26,960 --> 01:02:29,760 Is she dead? And I go on, George. 1277 01:02:29,760 --> 01:02:32,480 That's quite the. Let me right on there, Matt. 1278 01:02:32,480 --> 01:02:34,080 They're gonna have to do like Weekend the Bernie's. 1279 01:02:34,880 --> 01:02:37,440 Well, that's what he said they're doing with the Photoshop 1280 01:02:37,440 --> 01:02:40,200 photos. And it is that the week, 1281 01:02:40,200 --> 01:02:42,560 weekend, the Charlie's? Yeah, if you will. 1282 01:02:42,840 --> 01:02:45,560 Yeah, we'll put the link for the tour in the description. 1283 01:02:45,560 --> 01:02:47,120 What? And Belfast shows. 1284 01:02:47,880 --> 01:02:50,680 Belfast. Promote your show, Opera. 1285 01:02:50,680 --> 01:02:52,840 House, Opera House and I'm going Belfast. 1286 01:02:53,120 --> 01:02:56,040 Smelly. What am I doing smelly? 1287 01:02:57,400 --> 01:03:01,480 I've been smelly. My show's called Smelly of the 1288 01:03:01,480 --> 01:03:04,360 smelly house I'm doing. I'm doing Phantom of the Opera 1289 01:03:04,360 --> 01:03:06,120 House. It's a stand up comedy show. 1290 01:03:06,600 --> 01:03:08,600 Well. More singing. 1291 01:03:08,640 --> 01:03:12,000 I'm doing I'm doing stand up comedy, Fathom of the Opera 1292 01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:14,360 House in the Opera House 23rd. Are you doing additional? 1293 01:03:14,360 --> 01:03:16,960 Stand up comedy. Show 23rd September the 20th yes 1294 01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:19,360 who shows on 27th He's. Singing the music from the 1295 01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:21,240 Phantom of the Opera from start to finish. 1296 01:03:21,240 --> 01:03:25,320 Singingthegeohstockquote@ukyep.com. You and Brian Kennedy singing 1297 01:03:25,480 --> 01:03:28,400 the. Put the message in the box. 1298 01:03:28,840 --> 01:03:30,440 Smelly message? I don't know. 1299 01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:35,800 Drive the car around the world is that is that we uplift them. 1300 01:03:37,400 --> 01:03:43,080 Black lives matter. So that was quite a moment in 1301 01:03:43,080 --> 01:03:45,800 history that wasn't it. If it happened any other time by 1302 01:03:45,800 --> 01:03:47,640 the middle of COVID it would have been wild. 1303 01:03:47,720 --> 01:03:49,080 It was just any other day in COVID. 1304 01:03:49,320 --> 01:03:50,960 A lot of weird. Do you remember the do you 1305 01:03:50,960 --> 01:03:53,400 remember the my hair? Remember when they all? 1306 01:03:53,400 --> 01:03:55,160 Do you remember when they all? Weirder than that, do. 1307 01:03:55,920 --> 01:03:58,560 You remember when all the celebrities sang something? 1308 01:03:58,920 --> 01:04:00,800 Well, Jamie Dornan was part of that. 1309 01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:04,480 And then did he with me? Like when you're. 1310 01:04:04,520 --> 01:04:06,280 COVID and was talking about it, yeah. 1311 01:04:06,480 --> 01:04:08,680 What was the what was the crack? What was that they were saying 1312 01:04:08,680 --> 01:04:10,080 they were. Trying to heal the world just it 1313 01:04:10,080 --> 01:04:12,720 was imagined by John Lennon. What do you call the Israeli 1314 01:04:12,720 --> 01:04:14,360 actress? Really good looking one, Gil 1315 01:04:14,400 --> 01:04:15,840 Gander. Woman, yeah, she said. 1316 01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:17,120 I think she said the whole thing up. 1317 01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:18,800 And thank you. After the reaction he was like 1318 01:04:18,960 --> 01:04:22,320 cheers go appreciable. That it that badly, didn't it? 1319 01:04:22,680 --> 01:04:24,520 What was it? Just because it felt tone deaf. 1320 01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:27,480 Yeah, just all these rich people singing about let's. 1321 01:04:27,760 --> 01:04:31,120 Heal the We Shoot atomic comedians Black and white maniac 1322 01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:33,920 2000 during. I can I can play imagine on the 1323 01:04:33,920 --> 01:04:37,360 piano we, but not as well as John. 1324 01:04:37,960 --> 01:04:40,280 Yeah, well. OK. 1325 01:04:40,480 --> 01:04:42,600 Do you play one key at a time with your whole hand? 1326 01:04:44,720 --> 01:04:54,440 I know the wee bit I can do. Patreon.com/team with Me 1327 01:04:54,440 --> 01:04:55,440 podcast. We're about to. 1328 01:04:55,440 --> 01:04:57,320 We're going to go have lunch and then record a live stream 1329 01:04:57,320 --> 01:05:00,120 episode when hopefully Willie T is escaped the Crystal Maze. 1330 01:05:00,120 --> 01:05:02,120 That is his ground and ground. Is I almost don't want them to 1331 01:05:02,120 --> 01:05:04,200 meet us for lunch because he hasn't earned it. 1332 01:05:04,640 --> 01:05:06,360 He's like the hot and garden Rover again. 1333 01:05:09,480 --> 01:05:11,360 He said he would be there as part of the team. 1334 01:05:11,520 --> 01:05:13,840 He hasn't and now he wants a chicken waffles cup. 1335 01:05:14,840 --> 01:05:17,120 But we got to cut him in otherwise, you know, we. 1336 01:05:17,120 --> 01:05:20,520 Should order a meal that's for William, but before he gets 1337 01:05:20,520 --> 01:05:22,200 there, we all take bits of it, yes. 1338 01:05:22,200 --> 01:05:23,240 You know what I mean? Yes. 1339 01:05:24,920 --> 01:05:28,720 You said you want I just I. Want to launch so we're. 1340 01:05:28,720 --> 01:05:30,680 Going to do the live stream, so we did every Friday, Patreon, 1341 01:05:30,680 --> 01:05:34,160 the conference team, we podcast, Kieran's on tour, go see the 1342 01:05:34,160 --> 01:05:36,040 show. He's going all around the UK and 1343 01:05:36,040 --> 01:05:39,240 then he's coming back to do the big Opera House shows. 1344 01:05:40,000 --> 01:05:43,160 I told him he should do stand up for it, but he's insisting he 1345 01:05:43,160 --> 01:05:45,800 wants to sing the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack. 1346 01:05:46,080 --> 01:05:48,880 Put the link in the description and thank you for coming on the 1347 01:05:48,880 --> 01:05:50,840 pause as always. And can I say something? 1348 01:05:51,360 --> 01:05:53,000 Can you look? Can you look at me when I said? 1349 01:05:53,560 --> 01:05:54,720 This I love you. I love you. 1350 01:05:55,080 --> 01:05:55,960 Thanks, I was joking.