1
00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:01,520
Your fingers don't look like 
they belong. 

2
00:00:01,680 --> 00:00:03,080
They look real swish together, 
yeah. 

3
00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:05,520
I think it happens over the 
broken. 

4
00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:10,360
Yeah, but also I think maybe 
shouldn't be Bruce Logan or 

5
00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:14,360
Dark. 
Yeah, it looks like a you got a 

6
00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:17,800
different races. 
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

7
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:23,240
Just to test the water. 
Slowly. 

8
00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:26,040
Bit by bit. 
What's that philosophy there 

9
00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:28,120
about the ship? 
You know where you steal a ship 

10
00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:29,440
from a museum? 
You know that one? 

11
00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:32,200
No, there's this idea of like a 
ship. 

12
00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:34,360
There's a ship and then you 
slowly. 

13
00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:36,480
By the way, this is not in the 
pop, we just hit record. 

14
00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:38,760
So I don't need to know OK no 
noise and I need to know this 

15
00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:41,880
so. 
There's a philosophical idea. 

16
00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:46,120
If there's a ship in a museum, 
and if you go into the museum 

17
00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:50,240
and take one piece of the ship 
and replace it, and you do that 

18
00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:54,040
like every day until you've 
completely replaced the ship, is

19
00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:56,440
the ship the same? 
Ship. 

20
00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:00,000
But why? 
If you had all the parts anyway,

21
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,240
why don't you just have your own
ship? 

22
00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:02,280
Why do you need to steal it? 
Because. 

23
00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:03,960
It could be a replica. 
It could. 

24
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:05,280
Be a replica. 
The real thing. 

25
00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:08,440
So you're putting fake parts in?
Yeah, and you're getting the 

26
00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:10,200
genuine part. 
Yeah, that's the thing. 

27
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,640
That's what I think the doctor 
did with you. 

28
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,240
They're making their own shame, 
Todd. 

29
00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:14,840
So. 
They can cut my hand. 

30
00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:15,040
Off. 
Yeah. 

31
00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:16,360
You don't know. 
I don't know. 

32
00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:18,560
It was a pretty thick cast. 
You don't know what's happened 

33
00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:20,200
under there. 
Yeah, there could be some 

34
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:21,600
doctors somewhere. 
Where? 

35
00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:23,120
Real deal. 
That doesn't look like it's a 

36
00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:25,640
corpse hand to your real hand. 
Could be somewhere else. 

37
00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:30,640
Museum stuff seems way too easy 
to steal a lot of it, like a lot

38
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:34,680
of it's low level security and 
like jewels and everything. 

39
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:38,960
Yeah, I guess because most of it
is stolen already, so like it's.

40
00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:40,640
Just. 
Yeah, How do we feel about 

41
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,200
museums? 
That was an interesting one it. 

42
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:45,200
Depends what it is. 
Yeah, yeah, they say. 

43
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:48,000
Like, I think England has a lot 
of stuff. 

44
00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:50,560
Yeah. 
And they don't want, they don't 

45
00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:54,800
like to give a back. 
There's a phrase I used to live 

46
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,760
in France and there's a phrase 
that they have and all the 

47
00:01:56,760 --> 00:02:00,120
Parisian ones where it's 
generously donated by the 

48
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:03,120
locals. 
Yeah, yeah. 

49
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,240
Yeah, very generously donated. 
All we had to do was. 

50
00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:08,160
Put, you know, 50 muskets in his
face and. 

51
00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:10,320
He was so generous. 
He was like you guys. 

52
00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:14,120
Are yeah, yeah, but. 
Still need to be like real in a 

53
00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:16,360
museum anyway. 
No, that's true. 

54
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:22,320
Can I do some dinosaur bones? 
Not real dinosaur bones when you

55
00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:23,600
see them in a museum. 
Not real. 

56
00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:28,600
Well, not always, but sometimes.
When you when they've rebuilt T 

57
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:32,360
Rex or something artificial. 
So then you could actually build

58
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:35,120
steel it T Rex by bit. 
Yes, and then you would have the

59
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,360
actual C Rex. 
But it wouldn't be a real T Rex.

60
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,600
Be better than what most people 
have. 

61
00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:44,640
But then like you also think 
about stuff like see, you know, 

62
00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:47,280
when whenever you die, you think
about what would you like to 

63
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:48,560
happen to your remains? 
Words like. 

64
00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:49,920
You think about that before you 
that you get. 

65
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,200
Yeah, but whenever you go, you 
like words like I like my 

66
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:53,880
remains scattered at the beach, 
you know someone. 

67
00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:58,160
Do you think Mata Booty, the 
Egyptian mummy who died in 

68
00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,880
Egypt, wants to be just in 
Botanic? 

69
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,600
You know, I don't think she 
that's where she wishes. 

70
00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:06,240
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 
In a glass box and everyone go 

71
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:07,400
slipping powerful. 
Well, you know. 

72
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,520
What it makes people like yes, 
thank her just. 

73
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:12,840
Like no, no. 
I think they should get yeah, 

74
00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:14,920
they should get you. 
But like, have it like, like 

75
00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:16,480
they have the T Rex kind of like
above. 

76
00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,720
When you walk into the museum, 
it's just like Shane Todd's 

77
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,760
bones. 
My yeah, just play it. 

78
00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:22,000
Across, but I have. 
Weird bones. 

79
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,720
I have weird fingers and yeah 
and everything. 

80
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,480
So I actually think people would
come for. 

81
00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:28,400
Like, see, it's almost like, you
know, when in the Power Rangers 

82
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,640
they all come together to make 
one big super Power Ranger 

83
00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:32,360
machine, I reckon. 
You're human, centipede. 

84
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:37,000
To to an extent, I think if you 
like all like different freak 

85
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,960
parts and made a super freak 
skeleton like you get Joseph 

86
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:42,920
Merrick's head, the Elephant Man
and you had your fingers yours 

87
00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:47,000
again, that's just a gorilla in.
Fairness, they'd be taking a lot

88
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:50,840
from you, Just saying. 
Sorry to say, I know people are 

89
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:53,000
debating at the minute whether 
Dave would beat 100 men in a 

90
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:59,640
fight. 
Well, you see. 

91
00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:01,400
It's like Robert Irwin is 
stepping in. 

92
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:06,520
I mean Dave would he would tyre 
out after the first 3 or 4 loads

93
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,760
of men. 
More Robert Irwin this week than

94
00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:11,280
like the last 10 years because 
he he was doing like Calvin 

95
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:15,120
Klein, Steve Irwin's son and I 
went into this hundred men 

96
00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:17,079
versus a gorilla thing I do 
that's not his name. 

97
00:04:17,079 --> 00:04:20,440
Like he's he's water animals. 
No, we are we talking barefest 

98
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:22,320
so. 
Like human fists. 

99
00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:25,120
Yes, OK, because I'm going to 
say if it's humans, they just do

100
00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:26,880
what they do to all. 
I almost shoot them. 

101
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:30,360
That's trying to be, yeah. 
Yeah, but it's like, yes, it's 

102
00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:32,880
bare. 
I think the debate sippers. 

103
00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:35,600
This episode of TV With Me 
podcast is sponsored by none 

104
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:39,120
other than that prize guy. 
I'm not talking about this prize

105
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:41,280
guy. 
I'm talking about that prize 

106
00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:44,400
guy. 
Ireland's largest prize site. 

107
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:49,000
And I'm talking prizes of all 
sorts, all things great and 

108
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:52,120
small. 
He's doing everything from he do

109
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:55,080
like 5 grand, he do dance get 
what's he doing there. 

110
00:04:55,520 --> 00:05:01,640
He's got a BBQ season bundle. 
Much is take a for 49 PF off 

111
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,320
unbelievable eight goes right up
to giving away a million. 

112
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:10,320
They've made 9 millionaires 135 
million given away. 

113
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,960
There's everything run at one 
time on that price guy. 

114
00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:16,280
Go to thatpriceguy.co.uk to 
check out more. 

115
00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:17,400
What are we going to say? 
They're done. 

116
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,480
On the 25th of May is giving 
away 200 grand. 

117
00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:25,320
Currently tickets are 20P. 
Did I hear you right? 

118
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:30,760
20P for. 20P showing getting the
ADP, ADP out of a point. 

119
00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:36,160
Yeah, that's pretty good. 
thatpriceguy.co.uk zippers. 

120
00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:39,000
I'm going to point you in the 
way of our Patreon. 

121
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,680
That's patreon.com/tea With Me 
podcast. 

122
00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:45,040
If you like the podcast and 
you're a little greedy guts, you

123
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,880
want more, that's where it all 
is. 

124
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:51,640
I'm talking a vault of five 
years basically worth of content

125
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:55,640
specials you're watching. 
Once you're a millionaire, you 

126
00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:58,480
can watch all the live podcasts.
You can watch me and Kieran 

127
00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:00,440
playing tennis. 
You can. 

128
00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:02,040
I mean, what? 
What more do you need? 

129
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:04,160
But you get a bonus episode 
every week. 

130
00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,840
You get the live stream. 
Lazy Boys is on there. 

131
00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:09,720
Everything's on there. 
The Roast of Willie T. 

132
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:14,040
The Roast of Willie T 7% of the 
internet's content is on our 

133
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:18,440
patreonpatreon.com/T With Me 
podcast. 

134
00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:22,000
Scott Steiner, the big bad booty
daddy Papa Pump, the wrestler 

135
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:26,400
said he is a genetic freak and 
all that you could take 99 week 

136
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,120
men. 
He can't really fight men. 

137
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:30,360
He pretty fake punches men. 
That's what he said. 

138
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,640
He said listen, the big bad 
booty daddy will take out a 

139
00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,000
gorilla. 
So that's that's where I'm 

140
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,680
taking it. 
Yeah, he goes up to the gorilla.

141
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,840
He's like when I get near your 
face, turn your head that way. 

142
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:45,600
He actually has done a. 
Fool talking to listen what I. 

143
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:48,480
Understand can't understand the 
gorillas not taking part. 

144
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:51,200
But he's known for his math. 
Steiner math is a thing where he

145
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:53,200
talks a lot of weird things. 
This is what he has said. 

146
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:57,600
Let's say you get 100 average 
men, no weapons, no training, 

147
00:06:57,840 --> 00:07:00,000
just fear in their eyes and dad 
bods on their way. 

148
00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:03,160
Then you get one full grown 
silverback gorilla, 600 lbs of 

149
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,680
pure rage muscle and tree 
ripping par. 

150
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:09,200
Now here comes the maths. 
Out of those 100 men, maybe 25% 

151
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:10,760
don't even show up once they see
the gorilla. 

152
00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:12,920
That's 25 cards eliminated 
immediately. 

153
00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:16,400
Then you've got a 33 and a third
chance of them trying to talk it

154
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:17,560
out. 
Then they're done. 

155
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:20,240
Another 20% to stand there 
frozen pissing their pants. 

156
00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:23,480
Now you're left with like 21 
guys panicked, half committed, 

157
00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:24,960
and getting launched like lawn 
darts. 

158
00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:27,480
Well, what if you get Big Papa 
Pump in the mix? 

159
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:30,640
Just tip the freaking scales. 
And that's not even 100 men 

160
00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:32,920
versus one gorilla. 
It's one gorilla versus a 

161
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:35,240
genetic freak. 
And that spells disaster for the

162
00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,520
gorilla. 
He would die with three within 3

163
00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:38,560
seconds. 
Yeah. 

164
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:41,000
He would leave. 
Just. 

165
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:44,080
Start the first sentence. 
Arms and legs ripped off his 

166
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:44,760
eyes. 
Totally wrong. 

167
00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:46,720
Totally wrong but. 
What if you get an empathetic 

168
00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:48,360
gorilla? 
You know, just one that like 

169
00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:49,680
once. 
Then you take advantage of it. 

170
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,400
You're like, no, you lie there 
and we'll all stroke your back 

171
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:53,960
and then just fucking kick his 
head in. 

172
00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:57,160
Are you museum guy killing? 
I could see you being like 

173
00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,680
museum guys. 
You know what I'm always seeing 

174
00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:03,680
when I when I come up to Belfast
is it's a very small sign on the

175
00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:06,320
motorway for the Ulster Folk and
History Museum. 

176
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:10,680
Yes, we swear a lot here the. 
Falcon. 

177
00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:12,000
Yes, Falcon. 
Transport Museum. 

178
00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:13,640
Yeah, Falcon. 
Transport. 

179
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:15,720
Yeah, that's I always see that 
and I do. 

180
00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:18,280
Part of me does go like that. 
Might be a nice afternoon. 

181
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:21,280
You could do it today, your 
shoes not to eat, you could do 

182
00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:23,360
it after this part. 
But I think I'll probably have 

183
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:24,920
to do all this stuff. 
I think like what? 

184
00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:29,360
Just think like there's AI have 
to I'll have to iron the shirt 

185
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:30,720
and that will. 
Take up a good. 

186
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,480
Chunk of my time. 
See the Folk Museum. 

187
00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:35,799
Yeah, it's great for when 
Transport Museum's great. 

188
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:39,000
My kids love Transport Museum. 
See the Folk Museum. 

189
00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:43,320
Last time I was the too many 
like actors who are pretending 

190
00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:45,720
to be from olden times. 
I don't like that. 

191
00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:50,240
They're not. 
Actors have used donations to 

192
00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:53,360
bring people back. 
They're travellers of time, 

193
00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:57,560
they've come back. 
OK, I'm there for one minute. 

194
00:08:57,560 --> 00:08:59,880
Some guy come back in time to 
just get his hand back from me, 

195
00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:03,120
rips it off. 
Every time I'm there, there's an

196
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:04,880
old woman. 
It's always me and never anyone 

197
00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:06,960
else in my family. 
It's always me go you like some 

198
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,960
potato bread. 
I don't know if it worked there,

199
00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:12,640
but every time like okay I want.
The direction to a different 

200
00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:15,640
part of the museum and the 
moment was like, I wouldn't know

201
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:17,760
too much about it. 
I was like, tell me where to go.

202
00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,720
She's like back. 
In my day now, it was like we're

203
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,480
in where it's the current day, 
it's the current day. 

204
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,120
She's made a Daniel Day Lewis 
you're wearing. 

205
00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:28,560
Skechers, you know I love that 
you're. 

206
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:31,120
Mildly offended at the potato 
bread, but you also take it 

207
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:33,880
every time. 
It's delicious, you know what I 

208
00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,560
mean? 
And it's made, it's made by old 

209
00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:38,200
women over a fire. 
It's what's more, it's magical, 

210
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:39,680
delicious or dirty. 
We. 

211
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:44,280
Hands and all. 
Delicious. 

212
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,200
She used to start making those 
TikTok videos like the Indian 

213
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,400
street food people. 
Just about to say that 

214
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:51,600
beautiful. 
Have you seen this? 

215
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,960
There's guys that make street 
food in India and like 

216
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:59,760
westerners go to it as almost 
like a challenge type thing. 

217
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:02,680
Like could I eat this? 
But like any everyone who does 

218
00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:05,240
it, the only rule seems to be 
like you've got to be in your 

219
00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:08,640
honkers when you make it right. 
Like no one standing or sitting.

220
00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:11,680
They're all just, they're all 
just, they're all just on their 

221
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:15,320
hunkers and they've like giant 
oil. 

222
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,720
Like they look like massive. 
Walks with like handles, yes. 

223
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:23,320
And they're like put something 
together with their hand and 

224
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:26,520
like one guy, people are like, 
look at the blisters on his 

225
00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:28,960
hand. 
They put it together, they throw

226
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,160
it into the middle of this thing
and then they pull it out and 

227
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:35,520
then you have to eat it. 
And this is all my algorithm at 

228
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,720
the minute. 
They're also real theatrical 

229
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:39,480
way. 
They don't just like there's 

230
00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:41,680
something about like there's a 
bit of Pzazz or, you know, like 

231
00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:43,160
Salt Bay. 
Like they're Salt Bay and 

232
00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:45,320
fucking everything. 
Like they're not even Salt Bay. 

233
00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:49,400
Yeah. 
Congratulations. 

234
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:50,280
That's good. 
Well done. 

235
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,800
We can come in the podcast. 
Yeah, that's that's us. 

236
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:54,960
Thank you very much. 
Kelly, last time I saw you, we 

237
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:58,720
were in an airport and you were 
very relaxed about missing a 

238
00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:00,160
flight. 
Where What was? 

239
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,640
Me and Willie T were going 
somewhere. 

240
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:03,280
Oh, yeah. 
We see you in Dublin Airport. 

241
00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:04,440
Yeah. 
And you were going to. 

242
00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:06,160
New York, that's where we were. 
That was this. 

243
00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:07,280
You were there, too. 
Yeah. 

244
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:08,920
Yeah. 
And you were like, oh, thing, 

245
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:10,280
I've missed this flight, but 
I'll. 

246
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:11,960
I'll be all right. 
Yeah, I missed it. 

247
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:15,280
And you were, so your mind could
fathom how you're chilled. 

248
00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:17,160
You're like no missing a flight 
is is. 

249
00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:19,200
Do you know what it is? 
There was enough time for you to

250
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,960
get there. 
You, we met you in like the 

251
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,440
departure hall and you were like
flights in like 45 minutes. 

252
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:26,200
I'll just get another one. 
I was like, go now. 

253
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:29,440
And you're like, I can't, I will
not be able to make it. 

254
00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:31,520
We were like, you'll still make 
it like. 

255
00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,520
I didn't make it. 
You were like, you know, you 

256
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:37,920
know what Austin Powers when the
the rollers coming towards the 

257
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:42,600
guy, the steamroller and he's 
like, no guys, you have so long 

258
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:45,080
to get out of the way. 
It turns out your sense of 

259
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,600
urgency was something I could 
have used that. 

260
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,240
Day. 
Yeah, you were just so relaxed. 

261
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:50,360
Very relaxed about it. 
I think I must, you know, you 

262
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,360
put the headphones in when on 
your day of travelling. 

263
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:54,640
I must have been listening to 
Anya or something like that. 

264
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,720
And I was just way too relaxed 
about the whole thing. 

265
00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:58,000
Yeah. 
And I did. 

266
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,360
I missed the flight and I got I 
got up to them and they were 

267
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:03,400
like, it was a queue and I think
they must have been saying 

268
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:06,760
something on the thing going 
like people whose flight is 

269
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,600
going soon come to this queue or
something like that. 

270
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:12,320
But I had my headphones in and 
it was just Enya going like, and

271
00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:16,040
I was just, you know, and then I
saw all you guys and I was like,

272
00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:17,160
everything's going to be fine, 
yeah. 

273
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:19,520
But you kept. 
It wasn't fine to get a bus 

274
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:21,760
home. 
We're like, you still get it? 

275
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:22,760
Yeah. 
You went home. 

276
00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:24,960
Then you're like the next one's 
not for like half one. 

277
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,320
Yeah, go home. 
Half 12 now, Kelly, you're going

278
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:30,360
to miss the second flight. 
But imagine something terrible 

279
00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:32,480
happened on that flight. 
Exactly that was so. 

280
00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:34,000
Suspicious if you if something. 
Happened. 

281
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:37,520
God doesn't want me to go. 
It was also, it was a fight to, 

282
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:40,440
I think it was like Glasgow or 
something and I was like, like 

283
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:42,240
Dublin and Glasgow are very 
similar cities. 

284
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:44,120
It's like, am I really going 
anywhere, you know? 

285
00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:45,400
Basically. 
Like. 

286
00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:48,400
The post to Dublin, it's 
basically yeah, very similar 

287
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:49,440
like so it's. 
Not really. 

288
00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:51,600
What about the people in Glasgow
that were looking to see you? 

289
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:56,000
You're like those guys. 
Well, again, very similar to the

290
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,400
people in Dublin, so it's, you 
know. 

291
00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:59,560
You can't just say they're 
similar set, but that doesn't 

292
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:02,040
stop the people who got tickets 
for you not seeing your show. 

293
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:06,200
No, it was it. 
Wasn't, it wasn't a show thing, 

294
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:07,880
it was some sort of conferency 
kind of thing. 

295
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:10,360
So it would have been a lot of 
handshaking and stuff like that 

296
00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,560
and looked at it was, you know, 
sometimes when there's. 

297
00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:14,200
Not meant to be. 
There wasn't meant to be. 

298
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,240
Do you think Dave? 
On a different note, do you 

299
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:18,040
think Dave looks like Chris 
Eubank junior you? 

300
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:23,960
Know what? 
There is something. 

301
00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:27,680
We find it a lump sound today 
and blown everyone's mind. 

302
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:31,680
That's funny. 
Yeah, that's a nice compliment 

303
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:33,600
because he's handsome, man. 
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

304
00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,440
Speaking of handsome man, you're
half French. 

305
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:37,640
German. 
Oh no. 

306
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:42,160
I have to say, by the way, I 
wanted to say the research you 

307
00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:45,320
do on this podcast. 
So if you were alive during 

308
00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:47,240
World War 2, you'd have been so 
confused. 

309
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,320
Which half would want to? 
Would you want to win? 

310
00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:52,720
I don't think so. 
I think Ireland was pretty. 

311
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:55,400
Like. 
Clear on what side they were, 

312
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,680
kind of vaguely wanted to win. 
But then your other side. 

313
00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:01,080
Yeah, but I mean, Ireland 
definitely wasn't like, you 

314
00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:04,040
know, our reaction to when the 
Brits were like, please help us 

315
00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:06,200
in this war was like, no, you're
actually your grand tanks. 

316
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:08,520
But do you think Germany, if 
they won't, would have been 

317
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,880
sweet with Ireland? 
They had this thing called 

318
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:15,400
Operation Shamrock. 
Very discreet, yeah. 

319
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:17,600
It sounds like a shit reef. 
No one really knew. 

320
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:19,160
Which country? 
They were talking about with 

321
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,560
Operation Shamrock. 
It was like, which country is 

322
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:24,200
this? 
Yeah, it was funny because it 

323
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,680
was like, literally, you know, 
it's called Operation Shamrock, 

324
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,600
and it's like a plan made by the
Nazis. 

325
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:30,680
But part of me is like, that's 
quite offensive to call it 

326
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:31,880
Shamrock. 
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

327
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,000
Fucking Nazis but you're like. 
What was the plan? 

328
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:37,800
Just like you guys were, OK. 
I think Arnold, like Arnold was 

329
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,560
very cosy enough with the 
Germans because they were, you 

330
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:44,080
know, like this was kind of 
World War One. 

331
00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:47,000
Ireland was kind of friendly 
enough with Germans because they

332
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,880
gave us arms to fight against 
the Brits. 

333
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:52,040
So that was kind of, there were 
channels there. 

334
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:58,240
And then I think World War 2, I 
guess Hitler maybe thought 

335
00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:01,240
Arlen, like I think he was quite
impressed by the art. 

336
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:03,400
He thought like the Celtic kind 
of thing was kind of vaguely 

337
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:06,320
similar to Aryan, even though, 
like, he must have never been 

338
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,600
here. 
But like, yeah, I think he kind 

339
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:12,880
of, he thought we were kind of. 
Maybe he saw boss Aaron and he's

340
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:15,560
like, these guys are loving what
I'm doing. 

341
00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:17,400
He. 
Saw the dog on boss Aaron. 

342
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,200
Yeah, these guys are. 
Maybe there's something going on

343
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:20,920
yeah. 
If he had travelled there and he

344
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,320
saw our very red faces, he 
probably would have thought no, 

345
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:25,640
wait, maybe they need to go. 
Yeah, with the rest of them on 

346
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:28,680
the trains, yeah. 
But no, I don't know. 

347
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:32,040
I mean, I guess there was no, I 
mean, I'm happy the way the war 

348
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:33,600
ended, if that's what I have to 
say. 

349
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,000
I'm glad. 
I'm glad we lost. 

350
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:39,080
I don't know. 
This is, I guess this is my 

351
00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:39,960
moment, too. 
Yeah. 

352
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:41,880
I'm. 
I'm personally delighted that 

353
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:44,200
the Allies won. 
And yeah, yeah, you know, we're 

354
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,040
not starting another one as far 
as I know. 

355
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:48,280
But who knows? 
You know, Do you ever? 

356
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,440
Have a moment where you're just 
thinking, oh, I should have won,

357
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:53,240
Yeah. 
It's you get riled up like when 

358
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,320
they show like old 
documentaries, Hitler and he's 

359
00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:56,560
doing his speeches in the beer 
hall. 

360
00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:59,040
Sometimes you're like, you catch
yourself on, you're like. 

361
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,560
That really gets me going when I
hear those. 3 gigs. 

362
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:07,200
They're like, what is Kelly and 
Needham writer, A video player? 

363
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,080
I see when you see me doing 
stand up, my hand movements are.

364
00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:11,680
Very. 
You know. 

365
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:16,320
What part of Germany are? 
You, they're all over because 

366
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:21,120
my, my, my mum's side is the 
Irish side, but actually her mum

367
00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:24,240
was also German. 
She moved over in like the 40, 

368
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:26,280
like the 40s at some point. 
I don't know what. 

369
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:27,680
Happened. 
I was going to say something. 

370
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:31,440
But she came over. 
There, just fancied a change of 

371
00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:32,960
scenery, yeah. 
That was that kind of thing. 

372
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,960
Yeah, I do geopolitical 
anything. 

373
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:41,400
She's Operation Shamrock, just 
her coming over. 

374
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,160
I didn't even know she was 
German when I was a kid. 

375
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,160
Like she she seemed like an old 
Irish woman. 

376
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,560
But then my my mom went over to 
Germany and then met my dad. 

377
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:52,280
So there. 
So I'm actually 3/4 German. 

378
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,920
Actually, you said quarters. 
They were very German, Yeah. 

379
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,240
Fittled, yeah. 
Fittled which? 

380
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,120
Yeah. 
So 25% Irish. 

381
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:03,160
So that's that's my man. 
I've said before a Checkpoint 

382
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,160
Charlie in Berlin, there's a 
brilliant McDonald's. 

383
00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:09,240
There you go smashing. 
Well two Storey McDonald's 

384
00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:10,839
brilliant, very clean, 
excellent. 

385
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,480
You've the pay to use the 
toilets which it can be 

386
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:15,480
inconvenient, but are we touch a
class because you know they're 

387
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:17,880
not just like. 
That's I like the idea of some 

388
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:20,599
tour guide given a tour and all 
you can hear is just you 

389
00:17:20,599 --> 00:17:23,119
crunching on some Chicken 
Mcnogan. 

390
00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:24,720
Yeah. 
Have you been Germany? 

391
00:17:25,079 --> 00:17:26,520
No, I would love to go. 
I love her. 

392
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:29,280
And about Germany, it's great. 
Everything about it, it's love. 

393
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:35,880
In the current day, I just love,
I would love to go one of my 

394
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,400
like I would love to do do 
Oktoberfest. 

395
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,000
I think in Munich a lot of fun. 
You could play international 

396
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,760
football for Germany or Ireland.
Yes, I could, yeah. 

397
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,760
I can do what most people do and
start off, get your entire like 

398
00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:48,800
Academy through Play for 
Ireland, get a couple start. 

399
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,000
Off with Ireland, keep your 
options, yeah. 

400
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,400
And in fact, I think I'd do 
that, but just with Northern 

401
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:53,600
Ireland. 
Then jump the rubble cover. 

402
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:56,200
I just do that old trick, yeah. 
Just get a load of tracksuit. 

403
00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:57,600
I'd piss everyone off. 
I'd go. 

404
00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:02,960
I'd do like maybe like 12 to 17 
Northern Ireland, then I jump to

405
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,800
the Republic until under 20 ones
and then I jump over to England 

406
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:09,520
because I was born in the UK and
then I jump over to Germany. 

407
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:12,160
A lot of moving around. 
Yeah, yeah, a lot of moving 

408
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:13,720
around. 
But as I said, loads of track 

409
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,760
suits, sell them on eBay. 
I'm doing pretty well in this 

410
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:16,360
whole. 
Situation. 

411
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:17,640
But oh, do you mean in real 
life? 

412
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,160
Did you actually you were born 
in the UK? 

413
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,200
Yeah, I was born in reading. 
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

414
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,680
Not a lot of international 
travel. 

415
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:25,560
Well, I mean, yeah, but I was 
very young. 

416
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,560
I wasn't like going like. 
Mom, sure, we visit. 

417
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:28,920
Also like. 
Reading. 

418
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:30,800
It started like international 
man of mystery. 

419
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,920
He was in reading in a tutor. 
Town entitled toddler always 

420
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:39,240
waving his passport mada. 
Get to Dublin, another stamp on 

421
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:42,120
the passport. 
I mean most boring. 

422
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:43,960
Like the least. 
Cool European countries you 

423
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:45,560
could go, it's like France or 
Italy. 

424
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,720
Those are kind of places with a 
bit of pzazz, but it's like no 

425
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,000
reading. 
Reading. 

426
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,560
Cologne and and Dublin. 
David, What? 

427
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:52,920
What? 
Nationality, background, does 

428
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:54,480
your family have? 
I don't know. 

429
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:57,520
At all I need to look in that so
be curious to know, but I think 

430
00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,480
I'd say Neolithic. 
Or something like that. 

431
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,000
You could 2 steps. 
Back. 

432
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,680
No. 
I I have no idea. 

433
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:14,440
I'm curious to find out, but 
then I would hate it to be so 

434
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,320
boring. 
Yeah, I paid all this money. 

435
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:18,200
I did that in this week. 
We did 20. 

436
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,840
Three and me. 
For the pod and I was like just 

437
00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,440
100% the island of Ireland. 
We never left. 

438
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:24,840
No one had ever left. 
But then I think I had a great 

439
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:27,080
granny who's French who. 
I think I might be a lie. 

440
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:28,400
Yeah, but. 
Like you. 

441
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:29,920
You look like you're a European 
guy. 

442
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,000
You could be French, you could 
be. 

443
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:32,040
Yeah, yeah. 
Yeah. 

444
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,600
He does, I think a bit of German
about him as well. 

445
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,680
He just looked like you would 
see him on those way, like books

446
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:40,760
that school books, you'd be off 
their activities, you know? 

447
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,680
Yeah. 
Yeah, like dubious Schwimmer. 

448
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:49,320
Yeah. 
I am swimming I. 

449
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:56,080
Am swimming. 
And snooze. 

450
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:58,240
Swimmer, the 200 metres, Very 
compact. 

451
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,160
Super this. 
Episode of the Tea with Me 

452
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:09,520
podcast is sponsored by none 
other than Nord VPN. 

453
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,440
What's a VPN? 
It's a virtual private network. 

454
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:14,920
Allows you to do a load of 
things, including protecting 

455
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:18,440
your personal data. 
You know when you're in like the

456
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:20,920
likes of a coffee shop using 
their Wi-Fi? 

457
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:24,560
Be careful, you're in Nero. 
Keep your head in a swivel 

458
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:27,160
because there's pirates there 
and you know what they order. 

459
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:31,360
Let me think of something. 
What is there? 

460
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:34,280
Like a coffee that has R in it. 
Is there like a? 

461
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:38,080
You know, is there. 
A Not a latte, but like, is 

462
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:40,160
there one with R? 
Come on, is there something? 

463
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:45,640
Is there something? 
You know they like are, but then

464
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:54,920
out of coffee into the end what 
cord Cartado so you need. 

465
00:20:55,160 --> 00:21:03,080
Nord VPN you can the threat 
protection, the threat 

466
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,840
protection features on there 
trying to get Chris you back to 

467
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,600
say that they've everything. 
It's the fastest VPN. 

468
00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:13,960
In the world. 
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469
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:17,600
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470
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:21,720
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Every month. 

471
00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:31,240
Can be used on up to 10 devices.
That's pretty good. 

472
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:35,720
To get the best discount off 
your Nord VPN plan, go to 

473
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:38,640
nordvpn.com/T with me. 
That's it. 

474
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:44,040
Our link will give you Am I 
reading this right? 

475
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,520
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plan. 

476
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:49,320
There's no risk with the 30 day 
money back guarantee. 

477
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:51,600
The link is in the description 
nor VPN. 

478
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:53,600
It's the best in the business 
like you do. 

479
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,760
Reactively, like you're just 
you, like you just bought a wee 

480
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:57,680
bit of bread, pumpernickel or 
something. 

481
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,120
Like you just bought a bread, Go
and act it out like you're in 

482
00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:01,680
the photograph. 
Yeah, let's see. 

483
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,880
So now we shopkeeper just bought
a bread. 

484
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,440
Yeah, so like. 
You're looking like a 

485
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:07,840
shopkeeper. 
I'm. 

486
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:10,840
Looking in the shop look. 
You're very good, all right. 

487
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:13,400
You're I'm just, I'm just the. 
Photographer Tony's a shop. 

488
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:14,520
Keeper, right? 
Yeah, look at Tony. 

489
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,520
Right, I'm that's just this 
photo, a still photo like you 

490
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,120
just bought brand in the shop. 
Yeah, I'm a walking. 

491
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:20,880
Out. 
You're looking at Tony. 

492
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:22,480
Yeah, you're. 
Just buying it, Yeah, I'm a. 

493
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:23,840
Bought it. 
Shane is Stein. 

494
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:28,280
Komika House, Belfast, 
Hollywood, Belfast Porter, Ecalf

495
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:33,520
Pumpernickel. 
Port, Oh, that's Pumpernickel. 

496
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:38,480
Schmick, Meguti. 
That's good day. 

497
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:43,800
Please you guys. 
Start a German language please. 

498
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:48,000
Do you think you. 
Could do. 

499
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,800
Like, so Tom Segura did a 
Spanish podcast. 

500
00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:54,880
Who's doing apologies, speaking 
Spanish? 

501
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:56,600
I mean, three first, pretty 
straightforward. 

502
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,440
What? 
I said say it again, sorry. 

503
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:03,720
But. 
Do you think you could? 

504
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:05,960
Right. 
You obviously speak fluent 

505
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:07,360
German. 
It's good, yeah. 

506
00:23:07,360 --> 00:23:10,120
Yeah, I feel like the Fluence of
weird words. 

507
00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:12,440
So yeah, yeah, I speak. 
Could you stand up? 

508
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,000
In German, do they have stand 
up? 

509
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:16,440
Yeah. 
They do, yeah. 

510
00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:17,920
Yeah. 
I'd say I'd just do it in 

511
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:21,000
English because I feel like 
first you get too. 

512
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,680
Pumped up if you stay in a 
cried. 

513
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:27,120
If you had a cried. 
There you start doing a bit of 

514
00:23:27,120 --> 00:23:27,800
improv. 
Time. 

515
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:31,720
Stick to the. 
He gets how Hitler. 

516
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:34,480
Started he was just got a bit of
stand up and got carried away. 

517
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:36,720
It's unit type 5. 
And then it went to an hour and 

518
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:38,120
then I thought you do a. 
Character piece. 

519
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,640
You don't. 
Think you could do stand up in 

520
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:46,880
German I? 
Probably could, but I, I feel 

521
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:48,880
like if you did a show over 
there, first of all, people will

522
00:23:49,120 --> 00:23:51,080
probably be expecting you to do 
in English, probably a lot of 

523
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:52,960
Irish people or English 
speakers. 

524
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:58,640
And then also, I think like the 
a lot of Germans now, young 

525
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:01,760
people my age probably speak as 
good English as I speak German 

526
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:03,240
now. 
So it's kind of like, I don't 

527
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:06,480
know, Yeah, I did a European. 
To small kind of European 

528
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:08,240
jewels. 
Berlin was one of them and I 

529
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:13,000
think it was like 30% of people 
would have been locals. 

530
00:24:13,360 --> 00:24:14,520
And yeah, they love, they just 
love. 

531
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:17,520
Especially Scandinavia too. 
They love English speaking 

532
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:20,680
comedy, see I think. 
English speakers are so like 

533
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:22,840
arrogant that way. 
Like we just go and expect you 

534
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:25,360
should speak it or you expect. 
Them to be able to speak. 

535
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,000
More when I go somewhere, you 
know, So I just think it's, but 

536
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,560
you don't need to. 
David. 

537
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:33,680
Come on, embrace it. 
I always. 

538
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:38,160
Think I drive a lot and I should
do Duolingo while you drive. 

539
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:40,840
While I drive. 
But I don't know what I would 

540
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:42,600
want to learn. 
It's like. 

541
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:44,360
Thanks to the police. 
Show his last. 

542
00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:46,880
Words were. 
Hyundai Este. 

543
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:52,560
Biblioteca. 
I want to learn maybe Spanish 

544
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:59,800
for holidays or maybe like 
something else like 1 like one 

545
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:03,680
every thought about this. 
It'd be cool to just master one 

546
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:05,920
that like you'll never need. 
I see. 

547
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,360
I was like. 
A wee middle 1, you know, one 

548
00:25:07,360 --> 00:25:08,960
that's sort of similar. 
So if you like, you spoke 

549
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,200
Hungarian and Czech, sort of 
their similarities, so you get 

550
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:12,560
away in both. 
Places Flemish. 

551
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:13,320
You're Germans? 
Really. 

552
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:14,680
Good. 
Where did you learn that in? 

553
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:16,680
School. 
Yeah, surely a bit of shula. 

554
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:19,760
Yeah. 
With her kitchen, my teacher. 

555
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:22,200
And her kitchen. 
Her kitchen. 

556
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:23,280
Yeah, yeah. 
We did I. 

557
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:27,480
Did French and then the next 
year we did French and Spanish 

558
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:30,400
and I couldn't do either. 
Could do. 

559
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:32,320
Both. 
What's going on? 

560
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:37,000
I couldn't. 
I stopped. 

561
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:41,480
Speak a language I. 
Just have a vague kind of like 

562
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:42,880
European. 
Imagine you just. 

563
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:45,960
Lost it like you like got really
Wick in your English and you 

564
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:49,440
just spoken high in community it
would be speaking no language. 

565
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:52,840
I had a friend in school who. 
Lived in France until he was 

566
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:55,880
deaf. 
They speak how to say a sign. 

567
00:25:56,680 --> 00:26:00,040
But like a friend who ate till 
eight, he lived in France and 

568
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:04,200
then moved to Ireland. 
And like he spoke neither 

569
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:07,440
language really to any degree of
yes, of great ability. 

570
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:10,000
He was kind of constantly like. 
How do you say in? 

571
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,000
French. 
Actually, I don't really know. 

572
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:16,120
Would you just not know that 
word? 

573
00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:19,480
At all I am. 
Yeah, I, I. 

574
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:22,320
Was OK at French and then when 
we started doing Spanish I would

575
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:25,440
get so confused between them 
both because somewhere to me 

576
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:29,520
anyway, to poor math but it's 
also because. 

577
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:32,480
Of so many different slight 
differences in each language, it

578
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:35,320
would be easier if. 
They just made them the same, 

579
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:39,080
yeah, easier for us. 
Amalgamate a lot of languages in

580
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:39,880
the world. 
A bunch of them all. 

581
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:40,640
Together. 
Yeah. 

582
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:43,200
I remember when I was a kid 
because like other kids in the 

583
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:45,800
class would not really 
understand what another language

584
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:48,280
is and they always go like, oh, 
you speak? 

585
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:49,760
German, I'm like. 
Yeah, and they're like, so does 

586
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:51,800
this mean something in German? 
What about? 

587
00:26:55,320 --> 00:27:00,440
This Have you ever seen the? 
Guys, I think it's an Italian 

588
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:03,160
one I've seen where they just 
try and talk like they're 

589
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:04,960
talking English, but they're 
not. 

590
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,160
Yeah, but they just make it up. 
Yeah, it's great. 

591
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:08,600
They're trying to do like an 
American. 

592
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:09,800
It's brilliant. 
Accent. 

593
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:11,960
It's like that song that they do
and it sounds like they're 

594
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:13,760
speaking English, yes. 
They're like that. 

595
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:14,640
Is not. 
Right. 

596
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:20,640
Dave, try and. 
Do that, but like Chinese that. 

597
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:22,720
Is the language. 
I would like to learn Chinese 

598
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:25,240
Mandarin. 
Mandarin or Cantonese is the 

599
00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:27,160
other sort of main 1. 
Isn't it Mandarin? 

600
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:29,160
Is the most spoken 1 isn't it? 
I think so. 

601
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:31,840
So that'll be most handiest, 
yeah, Yeah. 

602
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:33,120
From the. 
Chinese and the other thing. 

603
00:27:33,120 --> 00:27:34,360
I had no idea what you're 
talking about. 

604
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:36,440
Yeah, like that. 
That was one of the most. 

605
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,720
Confusing moments ever. 
I was in the Chinese on the way 

606
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:42,440
out of dairy one time after a 
gig and there was a woman who'd 

607
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:45,560
full dairy accent working and he
said, well, what are you having 

608
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:46,760
pet and all? 
We're like, oh, this. 

609
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,840
But then she would go back and 
shout into the kitchen in a 

610
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:52,760
Chinese accent so that the 
Chinese guy could hear and all. 

611
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:54,800
Yeah, so because obviously her 
voice is so her. 

612
00:27:56,400 --> 00:28:03,160
Her voice was. 
So rough that he couldn't make 

613
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:05,200
out what he was saying. 
So the only way he could 

614
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:07,160
understand her to do the accent.
Yeah. 

615
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:11,840
That was rude. 
He didn't put a. 

616
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:13,960
Tape. 
I didn't mean to do that, I just

617
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:16,600
was. 
That wasn't what. 

618
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:19,880
I was doing just, yeah. 
And all I could hear him say was

619
00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:21,360
fuck's sake, over and over 
again. 

620
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:24,080
Just fuck sake, fuck sake. 
And then she turned back in the 

621
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:28,280
full dairy accent again, mad 
she's there's no sort of like 

622
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:31,160
irony and her just turn around, 
be like, yeah, you know, kind of

623
00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:31,720
offensive. 
What? 

624
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,000
She's doing, I mean. 
But here's the thing. 

625
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:38,080
Is it offensive because it made 
it easier for him to understand?

626
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:40,240
So she was. 
If it's the only way you can 

627
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:43,600
understand like and then he. 
Actually ended up coming out. 

628
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:48,480
As. 
As to the front of the the thing

629
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:52,120
to laugh at me and the guy I was
with, so I don't know what their

630
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:55,200
little banter was, but he came 
right off stressed out and then 

631
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:57,120
he came out the front store like
had a toilet over shoulder 

632
00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:58,440
laughing. 
It's like, I don't know what's 

633
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:00,400
funny here. 
Yeah, this scenario is weirder 

634
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:04,440
than this face. 
I don't know, I think maybe 

635
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:05,880
maybe Spanish I would like to 
do. 

636
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:08,600
But then they go, we were in 
Mexico, they go all this big 

637
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:11,600
different kind of Spanish here 
watching builders, yeah. 

638
00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:14,480
But then also it's like there's 
nothing that dampens your spirit

639
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:17,160
more than when you really try 
like your holiday in France or 

640
00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:19,920
and you're really trying to do a
language and then they speak 

641
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:23,760
back to you in English to be 
like, yes, yes, yes, it's it's. 

642
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:26,400
Weird. 
You know you make it like. 

643
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:29,360
I speak German and I'll go up to
them and I'll be like, you know,

644
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:31,240
Harvey gets and they're like, 
oh, you know, I'm. 

645
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:35,000
I'm noticing a little bit of the
English language speaker in your

646
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,800
dialect. 
I also speak a well. 

647
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:39,520
I practise a little bit of 
English in my spare time. 

648
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:43,040
I am not so good at, you know, 
professing the language, but I 

649
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:43,880
have. 
Difficulty in the. 

650
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:47,000
Sort of just for topical areas 
and you're like, what is he? 

651
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,880
Fucking saying is that, Is that 
German? 

652
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:50,560
Is that what I would be just 
stuck? 

653
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:52,520
Full German back to him. 
That's happened. 

654
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:55,680
So many times. 
Where it's where I am speaking 

655
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:58,120
German to the person, they speak
English back to me which I get 

656
00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:01,160
my back up about so I stay in 
German but they stay in English.

657
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,800
So all we have here is 2. 
People speaking the. 

658
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:05,720
Language that they're not the 
best at. 

659
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:08,480
They're both struggling. 
It's such a bizarre thing. 

660
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:10,600
Do you? 
Do you like living in Dublin? 

661
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:12,400
Yeah, yeah, it's. 
Good. 

662
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:15,720
I mean, it's I have a place to 
live. 

663
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:18,000
If I didn't have like, I have a 
flat. 

664
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:21,200
Like, you know, if I didn't have
a nice flat, I imagine I might 

665
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:22,360
be. 
And a lot of people are moving 

666
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:23,800
up here. 
That's kind of happening. 

667
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:25,320
Yeah. 
Interesting. 

668
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:29,680
Yeah, that's nice. 
Well, it's because it's cheap. 

669
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:31,080
Cheap. 
Housing, it's like housing is 

670
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:33,520
the big thing in Dublin. 
Everything's very and the people

671
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:35,720
are great. 
Yeah, the people are great. 

672
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:38,400
That's the main thing. 
But then also that the fact that

673
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:41,520
it's not like the to buy a house
here, it's way, way, way 

674
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:43,960
cheaper. 
So it's like a lot of people my 

675
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:47,040
age generation or people who, 
you know, a little older who are

676
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:50,320
looking to buy, they're kind of 
looking at Belfast and go, oh, 

677
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:52,240
well, actually, you know, I 
could actually buy there. 

678
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:54,480
Whereas in Dublin it's not 
possible. 

679
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:56,160
Yeah, yeah. 
Yeah, you know, that's kind. 

680
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:57,840
Of where? 
When did you? 

681
00:30:57,840 --> 00:30:59,200
Start. 
You didn't. 

682
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,960
Did you do online stuff before 
you did stand up or did you 

683
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:04,640
stand up first? 
Yeah, yeah, I started. 

684
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:08,000
Online during like, the 
pandemic, like 2020, yeah. 

685
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:09,680
Yeah, yeah. 
Yeah, you have a very. 

686
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:13,160
Good reputation, really. 
For your life stuff? 

687
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:17,320
Yeah, fuck. 
Did. 

688
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:19,840
You who's I'll? 
Tell you after. 

689
00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:23,440
But I was just talking to 
someone who was like the the 

690
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:25,880
small amount time it's you're so
good. 

691
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:27,200
Kevin Hart. 
Yeah, it was Kevin. 

692
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:29,440
I knew it. 
It was fucking knew it. 

693
00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:31,000
Now he's always coming up. 
He loves. 

694
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:32,800
Calling me all the time. 
He loves his German. 

695
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:34,560
Irish down. 
It's a little nice shit. 

696
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:36,640
He loves like and he says you're
the best one. 

697
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:38,240
It's like I love me A. 
Nazi joke. 

698
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:41,800
Worst Kevin Hart ever. 
How you doing? 

699
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:42,600
I'm Kevin. 
I'm. 

700
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:46,480
Walking here, I'm a little. 
Short. 

701
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:47,960
Guy. 
That's Kevin. 

702
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:50,440
All over, it's my friend. 
It's the rock. 

703
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:54,320
What are you gonna do, huh? 
I can't it. 

704
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:56,360
Wasn't Michael Frye, he says bad
things? 

705
00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:59,000
Yeah, No, that's. 
No, that's what's that. 

706
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:00,880
I don't. 
Know, I don't know. 

707
00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:03,880
Nasty. 
Nasty Girl's bong bong bong. 

708
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:07,040
I'm known for my progressions 
parts, we both. 

709
00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:08,800
Editioned for and didn't get 
went to the fry bar. 

710
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:12,080
Yeah, really. 
Nasty Fry tag I. 

711
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:13,400
Clearly. 
Fry tag. 

712
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:15,440
You said you want. 
To do an audition and I was 

713
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:18,320
like, yeah, throw them, tape an 
audition board. 

714
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:21,200
I just also get the. 
Job like it's fry Tags Friday 

715
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:25,600
yeah, yeah. 
He's got that. 

716
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:28,800
Yeah, yeah. 
Yeah, Michael Fry's a nasty 

717
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:31,280
piece of No, he's not. 
He's all meanness, he's all 

718
00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:34,680
Vadnais and that's yeah, sure, 
like we did when we were last in

719
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:36,280
Belfast junior show. 
It was me and him together. 

720
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:40,520
But obviously I can't, I can't 
say what happened, but like, 

721
00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:42,920
racism was involved. 
Yeah, well, I believe. 

722
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:44,000
It Yeah. 
And. 

723
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:46,000
Well, I mean, that's the kind of
the unspoken secret. 

724
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,120
It's sort of yeah, yeah, yeah. 
Everyone knows. 

725
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:50,440
That he's a mass racist. 
Yeah, yes. 

726
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:55,720
See when he. 
Got like when you went to the 

727
00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:59,040
the Chinese in Derry, it wasn't 
actually a Chinese woman. 

728
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:04,000
It was Michael Fry and he was 
actually just, he was talking in

729
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:05,400
Derry acts, Michael Fried. 
Right. 

730
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:06,560
And then he was turning. 
Around. 

731
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:14,520
That's good. 
Yeah, Germany. 

732
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:16,360
I would like to. 
I only went to Berlin for that 

733
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:20,400
one day basically, and it was 
grey and cold, so it wasn't a 

734
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:22,440
good time to see the place. 
But I would like to. 

735
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:23,760
I would like to go to Germany 
more. 

736
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:26,600
I'm going to do Hamburg and 
Berlin on the tour next time. 

737
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:28,880
Oh yeah. 
It's a great, it's a really 

738
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:31,040
great place and people don't 
visit enough, I don't think 

739
00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:33,200
because it's it's very big. 
It's got loads. 

740
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:35,320
It's got like, you know, you've 
got the mountains and nice place

741
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:37,680
down in Munich where you can 
like Munich's beautiful. 

742
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:39,960
It's also a very cheap, cheap 
place to visit. 

743
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:43,440
Berlin's. 
I go there a lot because I got 

744
00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:46,280
like siblings and stuff and 
family there and I can picture 

745
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:48,160
you. 
Smoking in Berlin I do smoke in.

746
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:50,160
Berlin, Yeah, yeah. 
Because I want to look cool in 

747
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:52,800
front of my Gen Z brother. 
And I'm like, yeah, cheers. 

748
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:55,560
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 
Yeah, yeah. 

749
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:58,360
But they are, you know, it's 
cool druggie. 

750
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:01,120
Kind of like, not cool. 
Yeah, it's. 

751
00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:02,240
Not on the eyes of the Lord 
anyway. 

752
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:06,400
I don't partake. 
In that, what else do you like 

753
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:08,679
specifically? 
Yeah. 

754
00:34:09,199 --> 00:34:11,440
Is this drug called Love? 
Yeah. 

755
00:34:12,159 --> 00:34:13,520
Not enough of that. 
There's this. 

756
00:34:13,639 --> 00:34:15,239
They just don't live. 
In this room, Yeah. 

757
00:34:15,679 --> 00:34:18,280
Can I tell you a story about our
friend when he was in Munich? 

758
00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:19,239
Yeah. 
Come on. 

759
00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:21,960
You know this guy too. 
Don't say if you know he is not 

760
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:23,880
a comedian, not Volvo stand up 
in any way. 

761
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:27,920
You guys met him recently? 
So. 

762
00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:30,560
My friend was working in Germany
for a year. 

763
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:35,280
What's his name? 
No, he's working in Germany for 

764
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:37,800
not a stand up. 
Working in Germany for a year. 

765
00:34:38,159 --> 00:34:41,679
And he had like a landlady who 
was like an old German lady, and

766
00:34:41,679 --> 00:34:45,120
she was like, really like, nasty
and like, nasty. 

767
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:47,440
Nasty. 
She was a. 

768
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:50,800
Nasty, nasty and she. 
Most of them are. 

769
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:54,199
And she just like made life 
really difficult for him. 

770
00:34:54,199 --> 00:34:57,800
She was just a nightmare, really
rude and kept changing the terms

771
00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,160
of his agreement and all this 
kind of stuff. 

772
00:34:59,240 --> 00:35:03,280
Anyway, I'll do that. 
He he hated her that much that 

773
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:09,280
like the day he was leaving, she
was out of the flat for like an 

774
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:14,800
hour to go do something and she 
left the Bolognese on the pot on

775
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:17,440
the stove and her friend was 
coming around. 

776
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:27,000
So our friend did a piss in a 
glass and poured most of it into

777
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:29,320
the bolognese, then realised he 
had quite a bit left. 

778
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:31,880
He didn't want to overdo it in 
the Bolognese, so he started 

779
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:34,520
going around various things in 
her house, like her shampoo 

780
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:38,200
bottle and everything and like 
putting it everywhere. 

781
00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:43,760
And then? 
And then when she came back to 

782
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:48,440
have her piss bolognese, she had
like 2 wee friends with her and 

783
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:54,240
he was like Oh no, he had no 
beef with them like and yeah and

784
00:35:54,240 --> 00:35:58,160
he felt really bad about it but.
They were like this fucking 

785
00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:04,400
delicious. 
Yeah, it's like Shane's Papa. 

786
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:09,040
Nicholas, could you do? 
It I need pumpernickel? 

787
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:13,120
That's fuck. 
Man, that's a way to make. 

788
00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:14,560
Yourself. 
A villain, but she must have 

789
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:15,760
been. 
Terrible because he's a lovely 

790
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:18,160
guy, but for him to do that I 
could never. 

791
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:19,960
Trust that. 
Like, I don't think I'd ever 

792
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:22,920
like he. 
He's done that and I don't think

793
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:24,920
I could ever leave him alone 
with anything that I owned. 

794
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:27,800
But do you think that? 
If you boil up Bolognese anyway,

795
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:30,880
the pest probably. 
I mean I. 

796
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:32,560
Could dispute it would yeah. 
Would burn it. 

797
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:35,360
Would burn it down. 
You know, I would have touched 

798
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,320
my Willy on it just. 
I would have done me then 

799
00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:39,840
probably would have burned him. 
Actually, no, it's not a good 

800
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:40,840
idea. 
Imagine. 

801
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:43,160
Imagine he did that and he was 
like, oh, like a friend's gonna 

802
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:45,600
be so upset, and then a friend's
Bear Grylls and he's like, fuck 

803
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:47,480
sake. 
Yeah, yeah, he's gonna fucking. 

804
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:51,240
Love this. 
I love some more place like my 

805
00:36:51,240 --> 00:36:53,160
delicious. 
Bodies I've ever heard I hadn't 

806
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:54,240
rehearsed. 
That, but that was OK. 

807
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:56,160
Yeah, you're you're in a death, 
Bear Grylls. 

808
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:02,160
But they ever. 
See the meme doing the rounds 

809
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:05,160
about bear girls in his last 
show that he did that he it was 

810
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:09,520
just he was out with Mel B in 
the wilderness and he got stung 

811
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:12,840
by a jellyfish so and he 
couldn't reach to pee on himself

812
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:15,680
so he had to get Mel B to do it.
So this whole thing be like 

813
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:19,720
Herbert had to get peed on by a 
Spice Girl and it kept happening

814
00:37:19,720 --> 00:37:22,400
to him every time he kept 
standing on the same thing on 

815
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:23,680
his tongue. 
Couldn't believe it. 

816
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:26,960
This is the. 
Combination of it all, like he 

817
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:30,320
when he was 21, he saw Spice 
Girls and he drew a big plan. 

818
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:32,200
He's like, how do I get Mel B to
pee on me? 

819
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:35,200
Yeah, this has been years and 
years of all the spice. 

820
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:38,200
Girls Mel B is the 1 you could. 
Most. 

821
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:39,440
Realistically, get to pee on 
you. 

822
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:42,360
Victoria's got the last one he's
going to do. 

823
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:43,720
Yeah, yeah. 
Wouldn't. 

824
00:37:43,720 --> 00:37:45,720
Get David. 
Will not lie that way, no. 

825
00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:49,760
Then. 
It's it's mental that I'm trying

826
00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:51,880
to work out who would have the 
most hydrated urine as well. 

827
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:54,320
Yeah, because you don't want to 
get Mel C sporty. 

828
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:56,840
So yeah, she's probably drinking
a lot of water, yeah. 

829
00:37:57,720 --> 00:38:00,520
I have abundance just very like 
sweet, so I imagine her pee 

830
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:02,120
would be just like water and 
gamma. 

831
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:06,760
Bun drinks like we cans of like 
sugar free Red Bull quite a lot,

832
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:09,800
yeah. 
We think every spice. 

833
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:11,640
Girls, were you saying? 
That they might be like 

834
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:14,280
carbonated. 
Oh, you. 

835
00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:15,640
You're. 
Going into the shops for the 

836
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:19,880
Spice Girls, you tell him when 
we drink here, a newsagent type 

837
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:21,440
shop, What do you think that 
happened? 

838
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:23,880
I can't even. 
I don't know, I trying to think 

839
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:25,240
of the Spice Girls and they're 
not coming. 

840
00:38:25,240 --> 00:38:27,000
I know the one that's married to
David Beckham. 

841
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:30,760
I can't imagine she knows like 
even what's in a shop, you know,

842
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:34,960
like she's kind of and then 
there's a blonde one baby, baby.

843
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:36,520
Baby. 
Like she's. 

844
00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:39,200
Is she underage? 
Can she have alcohol like she 

845
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:40,840
would have like? 
Formula milk Formula with 

846
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:42,120
formula milk. 
She'd be in a. 

847
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:42,960
Rusk. 
Yeah. 

848
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:46,000
Jerry Hollowell would have 
ginger ale, of course. 

849
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:49,840
Yeah, Steve. 
And Mel C would have look as he 

850
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:52,200
had sport, yes. 
She's a sporty. 

851
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:53,400
One. 
Yeah, that's good. 

852
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:55,960
OK. 
And Mel, Mel be scary. 

853
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:57,640
It's not really a scary 
buckfast. 

854
00:38:57,640 --> 00:39:00,880
It's pretty scary. 
These are like a. 

855
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:04,920
Halloween. 
I think, I think Vic. 

856
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:09,920
Maybe there's a Halloween. 
Say anything. 

857
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:12,880
Kind of. 
But do you have anything? 

858
00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:17,200
Halloween, I would say. 
And Victoria drinks like, you 

859
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:19,800
know, high end water, like, you 
know, influencer putting his 

860
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:21,760
face on. 
Yeah, she drinks that with, 

861
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:22,840
like, lemon. 
Kelly What? 

862
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:25,400
Are you going to do in between 
this pot and your show? 

863
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:28,200
Because you're going to have 
about six hours to kill, and I 

864
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:30,120
want to know what are you going 
to do in that time? 

865
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:31,400
What do you envision yourself 
doing? 

866
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:36,360
I have I. 
I am always keep a set of this 

867
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:39,760
is embarrassing to admit a set 
of golf clubs in my touring car,

868
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:42,040
so if there's time, we're trying
to find a ring. 

869
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:43,480
Car. 
Is it just your normal car now? 

870
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:44,600
It's my Touring. 
Car. 

871
00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:47,520
It's a difference. 
In your car, in your touring 

872
00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:49,920
car, because I. 
Bought it at the start of in. 

873
00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:54,520
January, it's my first car and 
and specifically for that I need

874
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:55,960
to tour. 
But do you drive? 

875
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:58,640
It when you're not turned, yeah,
but that. 

876
00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:01,200
Means I'm it's a misuse. 
It's a misuse of the car. 

877
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:03,680
I'm I'm driving around going, 
jeez, I hope the police don't 

878
00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:06,080
catch me. 
But if it's just your card. 

879
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:08,960
And you tour. 
No, it's like if the police 

880
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:11,560
stopped me, I'd be like, I'm so 
sorry, I'm driving my touring 

881
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:13,480
car. 
This is. 

882
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:17,080
Your it's insured as a regular 
car like no you know and I know 

883
00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:19,040
I'm breaking. 
The law here, you're slipping 

884
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:20,440
them 20. 
Euro, they're going this is 

885
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:21,440
illegal. 
What are you? 

886
00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:24,160
Looking for in a touring car 
that you wouldn't necessarily 

887
00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:26,360
want in a regular car? 
Well. 

888
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:28,720
Touring car needs to be able to 
fit loads of stuff. 

889
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:30,800
Like what? 
Like. 

890
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:34,440
I got a. 
Guitar am Golf clubs. 

891
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:41,400
Yeah, very good. 
Doesn't know nothing about cars.

892
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:43,280
So when I do you have your? 
Regular car then too. 

893
00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:44,520
It's not your tour car. 
Can I? 

894
00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:46,800
If you say no to this, this 
ruins everything. 

895
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:50,960
Like so other than your tour 
car, do you have a regular car? 

896
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:53,560
We have. 
We have a van. 

897
00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:57,720
Which is sort of a touring van. 
Because we don't really, but 

898
00:40:57,720 --> 00:40:58,920
every car is a. 
Touring car. 

899
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:00,520
Yeah, it. 
Takes you A to B, doesn't it? 

900
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:02,960
Yeah, but like, please. 
You're going to go to C. 

901
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:05,880
As well. 
I'm thinking. 

902
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:07,200
Outside the box, but I saw you 
I. 

903
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:09,920
Directed you into your carport. 
Your touring car is not that big

904
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:11,880
of a car, but. 
It's touring. 

905
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:12,720
Car you saw? 
Yeah, you. 

906
00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:15,440
Said that to me. 
I'm pretty sure. 

907
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:21,320
It's your touring car. 
But why do you have golf clubs? 

908
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:22,640
Well. 
Because I like. 

909
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:29,520
Playing so it's then then, you 
know, like I like. 

910
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:31,240
I. 
Play. 

911
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:34,080
I like playing guitar, so I have
a guitar. 

912
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:38,880
So it's kind of like that. 
Like I just, I have, I like 

913
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:41,240
playing golf, so I have the golf
clubs, but might. 

914
00:41:41,240 --> 00:41:43,960
You go to your driving range in 
between, Yeah, something like. 

915
00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:46,400
That yeah, yeah. 
Well, usually pitch and put. 

916
00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:48,760
Yeah, can. 
I just go. 

917
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:51,400
Back to something that happened 
earlier in the conversation 

918
00:41:51,720 --> 00:41:55,560
where Shana suggested you visit 
the Folk and Transport Museum, 

919
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:59,840
but you said a lot of time, like
where did it just happen to? 

920
00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:01,960
We sing song and a rounded golf 
come in. 

921
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:06,000
Such a bizarre. 
I think. 

922
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,000
I think I'd like. 
To think that I'm the kind of 

923
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:11,440
person who would visit the 
Falcon Transport Museum, but I 

924
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:13,960
actually couldn't be fucked. 
Like I think it would probably 

925
00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:16,400
be boring, but there's a lot. 
Of open space so you could 

926
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:17,800
double up. 
Would you consider? 

927
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:19,600
Getting a golfing car. 
A what? 

928
00:42:19,720 --> 00:42:20,920
A golfing car? 
Well, yeah. 

929
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:22,320
I mean, that's when I go 
golfing. 

930
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:27,040
But what? 
Business did the Golf Club 

931
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:29,280
because I'm saving. 
Up for a shop car for one 

932
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:32,880
another shop. 
Maybe afterwards the world's 

933
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:38,200
biggest driveway give a gig to. 
A car as well just do a gig and.

934
00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:40,840
Yeah, it's not when I'm torn. 
It's just, yeah. 

935
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:42,520
Trying to take gig. 
Yeah, yeah. 

936
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:45,880
But this summer we're going to a
beach car too, but just for the 

937
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:50,160
beach. 
Yeah, I have an MOT. 

938
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:51,800
Car that I bring just to do the 
MOT. 

939
00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:02,880
But it says. 
You've got 17 cars. 

940
00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:04,200
I'm like, well this is. 
The one for the MOT? 

941
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:06,920
Did a coffee car as well. 
Yeah, yeah, got a ball. 

942
00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:12,280
Oh my, yeah, man, I'm in a lot 
of debt. 

943
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:17,240
So I'm here like, I don't know. 
Do you remember? 

944
00:43:17,240 --> 00:43:18,600
That house, I don't know if it's
still there. 

945
00:43:18,600 --> 00:43:22,720
This is still going Helen's Bay,
which is between like Hollywood 

946
00:43:22,720 --> 00:43:26,000
and Bangor, and a guy wanted 
planning permission for 

947
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:28,920
something and they wouldn't give
him, and that's a Crawford. 

948
00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:30,880
'S burn in it just like, say, 
the back of the Country Park. 

949
00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:32,880
So he's like, all right. 
I'll just buy like a load of 

950
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:35,520
cars because it's like a 
beautiful area, picturesque 

951
00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:37,480
area. 
So this guy just started buying 

952
00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:41,200
cars like scrap cars and leaving
them all around this. 

953
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:46,440
Guy, he would do that all. 
Around his gal and it was a 

954
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:48,440
complete eyesore for decades. 
Is that still there? 

955
00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:49,720
It's it's. 
Been cleared up. 

956
00:43:49,720 --> 00:43:52,480
I believe he's passed away, so I
don't know whether that's why 

957
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:53,120
did you do. 
That. 

958
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:57,000
Because they wouldn't give him 
plan to like extend, so he just 

959
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:58,800
bought all these scrap cars and 
just left them. 

960
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:01,040
Because where it is, it's like 
the bottom of a hill. 

961
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:04,000
So if you're coming past through
Crawfordsburn, you look down, 

962
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:07,280
you see it would be like almost 
in a wee bit of a bit of a veil,

963
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:09,200
it would be beautiful. 
But then it's all these wrecked,

964
00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:10,920
rusted cars every people haven't
said. 

965
00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:15,360
In a veil in centuries. 
I think the veil master. 

966
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:18,440
I should meet. 
You in the veil. 

967
00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:21,760
Dawn. 
But I actually found. 

968
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:23,800
I'll go past that later. 
I may take a photograph and show

969
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:25,000
you. 
Would you like to have? 

970
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:26,920
Been an olden times guy. 
Like would you have liked to 

971
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:29,160
live in olden times? 
I think. 

972
00:44:29,240 --> 00:44:31,160
I think I would have liked that.
Yeah, I think you would. 

973
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:31,880
Like that? 
Yeah. 

974
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:32,920
How do you? 
Prepare for this. 

975
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:37,280
Podcast, would you? 
Have to be an old times. 

976
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:38,280
Guy No, you know what? 
I. 

977
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:40,800
Mean like he knows. 
He knows the man like that's 

978
00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:43,160
that's he's a good reader of 
people I would see you living 

979
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:44,320
in. 
Like Roman times? 

980
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:46,240
Yeah. 
Yeah, I'm into that stuff. 

981
00:44:46,240 --> 00:44:50,320
I listen to a lot around. 
I like, you know, doubloons, you

982
00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:53,480
know, do you like to going on a 
swashbuckling journey like that 

983
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:55,440
kind of adventure? 
We're going on an adventure. 

984
00:44:55,440 --> 00:44:57,080
I'm into that kind of stuff. 
I can see you being. 

985
00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:59,560
You would be a bad pirate. 
I reckon you'd be too 

986
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:02,080
enthusiastic to be that safe. 
Oh my. 

987
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:05,480
God, I know who we look like. 
Speaking of olden times, Captain

988
00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:18,800
Hook bosons me Peter Pan. 
Let's do and fairly put your. 

989
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:20,320
Hand though, you're more Captain
Hulk. 

990
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:23,440
Oh yeah, yeah. 
Like a real, like a new 

991
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:25,440
reimagine and offer. 
This would be a play that'll be 

992
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:28,240
on the Lyric Councils. 
Yeah, you would be. 

993
00:45:28,240 --> 00:45:30,320
You would be a good. 
Panto Peter Pan, I think. 

994
00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:36,160
You say maybe I can get better, 
but yeah, I think we think I 

995
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:37,880
would sell. 
Well, if we put on a production,

996
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:39,960
the three of us and Peter Pan, I
swear to. 

997
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:42,400
God, it would be good. 
I think it would be good. 

998
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:46,200
We did a reimagined version 
comedy type thing. 

999
00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:49,320
Yes, let's. 
Book it and just get a date. 

1000
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:51,840
And do you think parents? 
Would be happy leaving their 

1001
00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:54,160
kids off to go that it's it's 
overrated. 

1002
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:57,440
OK, well then we're not making 
any money because pantos are for

1003
00:45:57,440 --> 00:45:59,000
kids. 
Now an adult. 

1004
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:00,680
Panto, they love it up here. 
Yeah, all. 

1005
00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:02,600
Panto. 
Full Monty, yeah. 

1006
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:06,600
I think we'll do it. 
Instead, I actually think we 

1007
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:08,280
could. 
I think we can make a grid. 

1008
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:10,480
I only saw the hook film for the
first time, but two weeks ago, 

1009
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:12,040
the Robin Williams 10. 
It's good. 

1010
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:13,800
Dark. 
Like, yeah, it's sad. 

1011
00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:16,880
They murder. 
The We Asian boy, Raphael. 

1012
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:18,960
Do they? 
He gets. 

1013
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:23,120
Haste by completely deserved it.
Thank you. 

1014
00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:24,960
Yeah, he gets. 
Murdered like Oh my God. 

1015
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:26,760
Yeah, he does. 
But it's also a few. 

1016
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:29,480
There's a plot hole there, 
really, because Peter Pan's boy 

1017
00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:31,800
never grew up, but he left and 
grew up, came back as a. 

1018
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:33,400
It's weird, you know? 
Yeah. 

1019
00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:34,800
And there's. 
There's. 

1020
00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:39,680
Theories about. 
Peter Pan that like Peter Pan is

1021
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:43,880
the bad guy and Captain Hook is 
like I think. 

1022
00:46:44,240 --> 00:46:46,280
He cut off his. 
Hand off, slow are the. 

1023
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:47,560
Alligator editor something, 
don't they? 

1024
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:50,160
Yeah. 
Yeah, I mean, but like there's. 

1025
00:46:50,320 --> 00:46:52,720
Dark theories about Peter Pan 
He's messing with the. 

1026
00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:55,200
Sort of disabled person. 
He's kind of tormenting this, 

1027
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:58,680
yeah, person who actually has a 
gang of like, youths, 

1028
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:00,560
disadvantaged youths who he kind
of has. 

1029
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:03,240
And Peter Pan's like, just 
fucking with him. 

1030
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:06,000
Yep, he's a monster. 
There's rumours. 

1031
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:09,200
About Peter Pan being a bit 
naughty, honestly. 

1032
00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:09,920
Really. 
Yeah. 

1033
00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:12,160
We looked into this National 
talk about it. 

1034
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:16,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 
Well, you're not there. 

1035
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:18,480
Come to the. 
Waterfront to see the new 

1036
00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:20,840
reimagined Peter Pan. 
He's a Nazi. 

1037
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:23,880
He's a Naz. 
Yeah, just disabled. 

1038
00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:30,880
People. 
Per hook. 

1039
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:33,360
Yeah, per Hook. 
Yeah, but then didn't he get? 

1040
00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:35,920
Gargled by a big alligator knee 
and the clock fell on him. 

1041
00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:39,000
I never realised docs. 
I thought it's dead. 

1042
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:40,720
So not be able to eat them up 
you know? 

1043
00:47:40,720 --> 00:47:42,760
No, it just crushes. 
Them right, OK. 

1044
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:45,200
And Smee, did he just leave with
all the money or something? 

1045
00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:46,800
Oh yes. 
Me was trying to get out of 

1046
00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:47,800
there at one point. 
I see. 

1047
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:49,080
Wouldn't trust. 
Me having kids, you. 

1048
00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:51,320
Guys know all this stuff. 
I knew this from. 

1049
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:54,280
When I was a kid, you remember. 
That well, I remember. 

1050
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:55,920
The story of Peter Pan I know 
that I. 

1051
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:58,360
Don't remember a clock on on the
guy's head and I'm getting in by

1052
00:47:58,360 --> 00:47:59,680
an alligator, yeah. 
That was in. 

1053
00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:02,800
Hook, though, so it's yeah, say.
Different all shit of the brown 

1054
00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:04,600
fucking OK. 
Sorry guys, am I getting kicked 

1055
00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:06,560
off the riding team for this? 
But see when they. 

1056
00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:08,920
Have the imaginary food lost 
boys? 

1057
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:11,320
I remember the pound gets his 
magic bar and all of a sudden 

1058
00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:13,760
they have a feast. 
Are they imagining that? 

1059
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:15,840
Yeah, right. 
But it's. 

1060
00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:19,640
But what I don't get is there's 
a very overweight young man and 

1061
00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:22,000
like, that's not imaginary food.
Like if you're imagining food, 

1062
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:23,840
you'd be a bit more amiciated. 
That was like Hurley. 

1063
00:48:23,840 --> 00:48:25,240
And lost used to get so much 
shit. 

1064
00:48:25,720 --> 00:48:27,320
People were like, well, 
obviously this can't happen. 

1065
00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:30,120
Because they can't be. 
Stronger there because Hurley 

1066
00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:32,360
still like putting putting 
something away like. 

1067
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:34,720
Yeah, you know. 
He's like. 

1068
00:48:34,720 --> 00:48:36,400
Yeah, guys. 
Also so. 

1069
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:37,600
Hungry. 
Yeah. 

1070
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:40,200
I don't know what. 
Yeah, I'm starving. 

1071
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:46,480
You know you've gotten. 
See, that's probably like the 

1072
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:48,880
big money he's actually actors 
getting, isn't it? 

1073
00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:50,280
He's got that big money feeding 
up. 

1074
00:48:50,280 --> 00:48:52,520
But Hurley should be. 
It's a hard I remember. 

1075
00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:55,400
When Lost came out at the time 
and I remember watching like the

1076
00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:59,640
first episode and going like 
pressure, I understand the plot 

1077
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:01,720
of this and people were like. 
Really see what they're. 

1078
00:49:01,720 --> 00:49:03,120
Going to do with it. 
And then it was just entirely 

1079
00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:05,600
what you thought. 
It was like purgatory. 

1080
00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:07,200
Yeah, that would. 
I remember. 

1081
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:10,360
They kind of smart people like 
yourself, Shane. 

1082
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:14,600
But people. 
Figured that out. 

1083
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:18,040
And then they started writing 
and roundabouts to try and go, 

1084
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:20,080
no, it's not. 
You know, when like you guess a 

1085
00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:22,240
kids story where it's going and 
they start going, no, it's 

1086
00:49:22,240 --> 00:49:24,520
actually not purgatory. 
It's kind of like a place that 

1087
00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:25,920
like you. 
Die but then. 

1088
00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:28,400
It's not that it's different, 
it's actually like hell, but 

1089
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:31,080
it's a different reality. 
And then it just got fucking 

1090
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:32,680
terrible. 
Yeah, it really got real bad. 

1091
00:49:32,720 --> 00:49:35,800
He just answered. 
Why Harley doesn't lose weight? 

1092
00:49:36,080 --> 00:49:37,800
Because he's in purgatory. 
It's how he died. 

1093
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:38,840
Yeah. 
Go bingo. 

1094
00:49:39,720 --> 00:49:41,600
Do. 
You, by the way, your schedule 

1095
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:43,280
was great. 
I've said that to Michael. 

1096
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:45,360
Oh, thanks. 
Thank you so much, really good. 

1097
00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:47,640
Don't. 
Tell it to kill him, I thought. 

1098
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:49,040
Everyone. 
Was great in the spite of 

1099
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:50,320
killing. 
Being in it, I thought everyone 

1100
00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:52,320
was. 
Great in a bar, Michael, Yes, 

1101
00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:55,640
Yeah. 
But do you, do you like writing 

1102
00:49:55,640 --> 00:49:58,520
other things as well? 
Like, is you cooking up anything

1103
00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:02,200
like you writing on any, like, 
you know, like a Western, right?

1104
00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:05,000
Like, are you, are you like 
sometimes like a guy in the 

1105
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:06,960
background behind any writing 
things, you know? 

1106
00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:09,200
Yeah. 
Inter scatter. 

1107
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:13,480
Yeah, that was me. 
No, not at the moment. 

1108
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:15,640
I mean, I'm just writing. 
There's a hard enough doing like

1109
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:18,600
your little sketches and then 
you're doing the the stand up 

1110
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:21,160
and then you're kind of doing 
like maybe when I finished this 

1111
00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:24,240
tour and and then I'm doing 
Edinburgh as well. 

1112
00:50:24,240 --> 00:50:26,320
But then maybe when I finished 
that, I might like try and make 

1113
00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:27,840
it like a shorts or something 
like that. 

1114
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:32,760
But like sketches now, like I 
feel like I wouldn't mind making

1115
00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:37,720
them with other people in a kind
of just like not on TV kind of 

1116
00:50:37,720 --> 00:50:39,320
way. 
Like I kind of like the idea of 

1117
00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:41,560
just doing them. 
I was over in England and 

1118
00:50:41,560 --> 00:50:44,640
there's the comedians in England
just like meet up and make them 

1119
00:50:44,640 --> 00:50:46,960
on their own together. 
Like kind of, I feel like we 

1120
00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:48,840
used to, but we don't really do 
as much anymore. 

1121
00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:52,840
So I kind of would like to do a 
bit more of that, but I'm not 

1122
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:55,520
like, you know, like Sean Burke,
like writes for every fucking TV

1123
00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:57,840
show. 
Evidently. 

1124
00:50:57,920 --> 00:51:00,480
You kind of write, Michelle. 
Burke at the minute, he wrote. 

1125
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:06,880
This podcast, he's just like. 
I imagine Sean Burke has, like, 

1126
00:51:07,720 --> 00:51:09,760
cloned himself multiple times. 
Yeah. 

1127
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:12,760
So he just has other Sean 
Burke's doing writing projects. 

1128
00:51:13,160 --> 00:51:15,480
You know, there's like A and 
they'll meet, but you never get 

1129
00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:17,040
to see it. 
But there's like a load of Sean 

1130
00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:20,640
Burke's. 
But then the plot twist is he's 

1131
00:51:20,640 --> 00:51:22,720
no doubt and who the original 
Sean Burke is. 

1132
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:25,520
That's do you know what I mean? 
That's a good contest. 

1133
00:51:25,520 --> 00:51:27,640
That could be a great show. 
We could write, but then he does

1134
00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:28,680
Sean. 
Burke need a car. 

1135
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:37,400
I got a fucked on man I am. 
Yeah, I I'm gonna be cool to 

1136
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:40,040
write on a series, but do you 
have no involvement with? 

1137
00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:42,000
Yeah. 
Did you put? 

1138
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:44,560
In there for no like you're not 
in, sorry, OK. 

1139
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:48,080
Sorry, did you put in for the? 
The UKSML. 

1140
00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:50,480
Yeah, as a writer or performer? 
Both. 

1141
00:51:51,280 --> 00:51:53,840
Yeah, just to that, I don't 
think there's. 

1142
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:55,600
What did you do? 
If you don't mind me saying, 

1143
00:51:55,760 --> 00:51:57,720
maybe you can tell me roughly 
for the performance part of it. 

1144
00:51:58,160 --> 00:51:59,760
Still a few. 
Different varying characters, 

1145
00:51:59,760 --> 00:52:02,960
but of accent. 
Did this Chinese guy an Indian 

1146
00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:05,440
man as well? 
I did like a guy who's got 

1147
00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:08,400
family from Pakistan and India 
and he just hops over the 

1148
00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:11,400
Kashmir borders and yeah, kicks 
off a wee bit. 

1149
00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:14,600
Instead. 
Of getting yeah, instead of 

1150
00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:16,880
getting like, you know, accepted
he's going to have like, police 

1151
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:19,360
show up at the. 
Net police, yeah. 

1152
00:52:19,640 --> 00:52:21,760
And he'll arrive and be like 
quick as I get away from the 

1153
00:52:21,760 --> 00:52:31,800
police car. 
No, but that violence. 

1154
00:52:31,800 --> 00:52:33,480
Between India and Pakistan 
hopefully will answer. 

1155
00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:35,120
I know it's I mean. 
It's terrible when are. 

1156
00:52:35,120 --> 00:52:36,360
People going to realise. 
Conflicts. 

1157
00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:37,880
Not the answer. 
It's dialogue, no? 

1158
00:52:38,200 --> 00:52:39,720
You know, style. 
Of it is, what's my question? 

1159
00:52:40,720 --> 00:52:42,240
Exactly. 
Yeah, that's the Pope. 

1160
00:52:42,240 --> 00:52:44,840
Sad piece, new Pope. 
New Pope? 

1161
00:52:44,880 --> 00:52:47,840
Leo American. 
Yeah, American, but and I like 

1162
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:50,320
saying Poplio, it's just, it's 
it's quite fun. 

1163
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:51,840
Yeah, yeah. 
Populo sounds nice, but he's. 

1164
00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:54,920
Coming out to be like, listen, 
I'm more South American, Pope. 

1165
00:52:54,920 --> 00:52:56,040
I hung out in Peru a lot of 
time. 

1166
00:52:56,040 --> 00:52:57,480
Yeah, I was born in Chicago. 
Whatevs. 

1167
00:52:57,800 --> 00:52:59,280
When I'm the Peru man, that's 
given. 

1168
00:52:59,280 --> 00:53:01,920
Real like Hilary, actually. 
Spent. 

1169
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:04,200
My summer in Barcelona. 
Hilaria. 

1170
00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:05,680
He's living that. 
Yes. 

1171
00:53:05,720 --> 00:53:07,440
Hilaria. 
Yeah, The Paddington. 

1172
00:53:07,440 --> 00:53:08,640
Pope, I said. 
Did you call? 

1173
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:09,320
Him. 
Pope Leo. 

1174
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:12,520
Sounds like a wee German guy you
to watch grown up it is. 

1175
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:14,240
Pope Leo. 
Deck Rhino. 

1176
00:53:14,240 --> 00:53:18,440
Pope. 
Yeah, yeah. 

1177
00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:19,680
A little now he lives on the 
hill. 

1178
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:24,360
They did they. 
Do the smoke thing for they did 

1179
00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:27,840
they? 
Did the smoke and and that they,

1180
00:53:28,520 --> 00:53:32,360
they announced and then I like, 
I think I'm like a young cool 

1181
00:53:32,360 --> 00:53:34,680
person or something like that. 
I actually said this sentence 

1182
00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:37,240
yesterday. 
I was on the phone to my dad and

1183
00:53:37,240 --> 00:53:40,000
I was like, I never thought I'd 
live to see an American Pope. 

1184
00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:41,560
Like, what is that? 
Yeah. 

1185
00:53:41,880 --> 00:53:43,720
Yeah, what am I saying? 
People are outraged. 

1186
00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:45,560
I was like an American. 
Pope. 

1187
00:53:46,040 --> 00:53:49,360
An American Pope, yeah, just 
feels like outrageous, like he 

1188
00:53:49,360 --> 00:53:51,120
shouldn't know, but it's. 
Very like a mainstream or 

1189
00:53:51,120 --> 00:53:51,880
something? 
Yeah. 

1190
00:53:51,880 --> 00:53:53,720
American Pope. 
But like you think. 

1191
00:53:53,720 --> 00:53:55,440
About the time that we live, 
we're probably going to see 

1192
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:58,760
quite a lot of like like we've 
seen this is what my 4th Pope of

1193
00:53:58,760 --> 00:54:00,600
my lifetime. 
Is that how you measure your? 

1194
00:54:00,760 --> 00:54:03,080
Yeah, but make you think. 
How many people have just had 

1195
00:54:03,080 --> 00:54:04,600
Queen Elizabeth their whole 
life? 

1196
00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:06,920
Oh yeah, nice. 
My, we're probably going to see 

1197
00:54:07,600 --> 00:54:08,960
King William as well. 
There are no leg. 

1198
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:10,160
Fiddler and Elbow? 
No. 

1199
00:54:10,240 --> 00:54:10,840
All right. 
Pokin and. 

1200
00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:12,000
Palace. 
Yeah, like. 

1201
00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:14,240
King Charles's hands like you. 
Yeah, yeah. 

1202
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:17,040
He actually does. 
No, he does those things. 

1203
00:54:17,480 --> 00:54:20,280
If you got those sausages in the
pan, you'd be fucking pissed 

1204
00:54:20,280 --> 00:54:22,360
off, Yeah. 
You'll fry back. 

1205
00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:24,400
If those these are vegan. 
Sausages serving, yeah. 

1206
00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:26,200
Like. 
That looks like something. 

1207
00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:28,880
Your mate would serve off. 
The. 

1208
00:54:28,880 --> 00:54:32,560
Guy that pisses on things, yeah.
Not me. 

1209
00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:35,600
Yeah, I'll have. 
Five more pissed sausages 

1210
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:36,560
please. 
Is that? 

1211
00:54:36,560 --> 00:54:39,120
Better bear grills, no? 
No, I think. 

1212
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:40,280
He's a lot more. 
Like that? 

1213
00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:41,640
Yeah, that's. 
It is he. 

1214
00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:43,240
Did you do that? 
In your SNL tape. 

1215
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:43,920
I didn't do it. 
I. 

1216
00:54:43,920 --> 00:54:45,000
Didn't do that, you didn't do 
it. 

1217
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:46,480
That's. 
What I have to do this 

1218
00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:48,400
afternoon? 
Just cut them together. 

1219
00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:50,520
I literally. 
You forgot. 

1220
00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:52,320
Well, it's good because. 
I've sent a couple of links that

1221
00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:53,800
you're into. 
I'll be like, can you consider 

1222
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:55,240
it as well put this guy? 
In as well. 

1223
00:54:55,240 --> 00:54:58,520
Yeah, I don't know. 
I would, I would maybe like to, 

1224
00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:00,800
but but you know what I. 
Think with that effect, you're 

1225
00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:02,680
not going to get it, so you 
might as well just have people 

1226
00:55:02,680 --> 00:55:04,520
see and be like maybe he would 
do something for something else.

1227
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:05,920
They might have really can't. 
Write a bit I. 

1228
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:08,480
Think they probably have because
already know the head writing 

1229
00:55:08,600 --> 00:55:10,480
writer isn't here. 
But his people. 

1230
00:55:10,480 --> 00:55:11,840
Yeah. 
Sean Burke and Sean Burke. 

1231
00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:16,520
Minions, it's Schaumburg. 
X12 I don't know. 

1232
00:55:18,960 --> 00:55:21,720
Something. 
That'd be fun though, yeah. 

1233
00:55:21,720 --> 00:55:22,960
Yeah. 
It'd be really fun. 

1234
00:55:23,040 --> 00:55:26,400
That's the thing about. 
Making that we made one with RTE

1235
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:29,680
and like it's it's great crack 
making it like meeting up every 

1236
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:31,520
day and just doing dumb ideas. 
You did you. 

1237
00:55:31,720 --> 00:55:33,440
You did one, Yeah, but the same.
Time. 

1238
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:35,560
Yeah, yeah. 
Like it's great fun. 

1239
00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:38,880
It is great. 
I love the the the hairdresser 

1240
00:55:38,880 --> 00:55:39,920
one. 
That was brilliant. 

1241
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:41,320
Oh, that was. 
Rude, that was. 

1242
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:42,760
It's. 
Getting slapped around, I love 

1243
00:55:42,760 --> 00:55:44,000
that. 
Cool cross roof. 

1244
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:45,960
Oh, lovely, lovely. 
Stuff very funny. 

1245
00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:52,840
I want to ask you something. 
OK, where do you think the next 

1246
00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:55,960
time bar the gig tonight you 
will see Killian will be? 

1247
00:55:57,320 --> 00:55:59,040
So I don't know because. 
Killian's an appear. 

1248
00:55:59,560 --> 00:56:02,560
I know you appear places you 
don't expect, like you just you 

1249
00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:04,600
pop in someone and then it'll be
like because then your first 

1250
00:56:04,600 --> 00:56:07,120
thought would be if you see 
sometimes who people who are not

1251
00:56:07,120 --> 00:56:09,880
appears, you'd be like it's 
really weird to see them there. 

1252
00:56:09,880 --> 00:56:11,200
I'm not an appear. 
No, you're not an. 

1253
00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:12,800
Appear. 
But if you see, like, say, for 

1254
00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:17,840
example, I could be in Greece 
out of market, and if you 

1255
00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:19,600
appeared, I'd be like, of 
course, Killian's here. 

1256
00:56:19,600 --> 00:56:21,880
He's an appear. 
You know where, You know what I 

1257
00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:23,000
mean? 
She could be anywhere. 

1258
00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:25,680
You could be in Chicago at a 
festival. 

1259
00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:26,840
You could say I'm. 
Everywhere. 

1260
00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:29,080
Yeah, yeah. 
Yeah, and he's going to appear. 

1261
00:56:29,080 --> 00:56:33,280
Car as well. 
There's some people that you can

1262
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:35,080
be like in your mind you can 
compute dogs. 

1263
00:56:35,080 --> 00:56:37,280
This is, yeah, logical. 
You're always. 

1264
00:56:37,280 --> 00:56:40,520
In the place that I expect you 
to be in circumstances that 

1265
00:56:40,600 --> 00:56:43,880
whereas, yeah, like I could be, 
you could bump into me and who 

1266
00:56:43,880 --> 00:56:45,960
knows what circumstance. 
Like I could be at the same 

1267
00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:48,280
mechanic as you and you wouldn't
be like what is had a mechanic 

1268
00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:50,280
in Hollywood Like this makes 
sense, no? 

1269
00:56:50,800 --> 00:56:52,720
Because he's getting his 
northern car ready for the MOT. 

1270
00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:58,120
I could. 
I could see you in like a cheese

1271
00:56:58,120 --> 00:57:00,720
mongers in Leford, yes. 
I could see. 

1272
00:57:00,720 --> 00:57:02,960
You in a the butchers and 
Mullingar. 

1273
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:04,560
An artisanal butchers and 
Mullingar. 

1274
00:57:04,560 --> 00:57:08,120
That's just me going. 
Around trying to gather a crew 

1275
00:57:08,120 --> 00:57:10,360
to fight the gorilla. 
Yeah, yeah. 

1276
00:57:10,800 --> 00:57:13,520
You know I need AI need a a 
cheesemonger from Leffert 

1277
00:57:13,760 --> 00:57:15,960
Butchers. 
Butchers would be brilliant. 

1278
00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:17,920
Because they know how to caught 
an animal. 

1279
00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:20,120
Yeah, but then if. 
They're not like these weapons, 

1280
00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:23,320
you know, you'd have to, but 
butchers have big strong 

1281
00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:26,040
forearm, so you could get a 
couple of bites and then get in.

1282
00:57:26,880 --> 00:57:29,440
Do you know the? 
Butchers, the things that used 

1283
00:57:29,440 --> 00:57:31,280
to be at the front of the shops,
not as much anymore. 

1284
00:57:31,600 --> 00:57:38,640
The like the plastic butcher. 
Yeah, I remember once my dad 

1285
00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:41,840
telling me that that was just my
third Grande, like my other 

1286
00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:45,360
Grande. 
And I, I didn't like it and I 

1287
00:57:45,360 --> 00:57:47,120
used to cry every time I saw 
one. 

1288
00:57:47,240 --> 00:57:49,680
Was it said a butcher shop? 
Like if I passed that I really 

1289
00:57:49,680 --> 00:57:50,880
didn't like it. 
That's so. 

1290
00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:51,680
Fun. 
It's creepy. 

1291
00:57:52,080 --> 00:57:55,360
They do, my friends that 
there's, you know, in Dublin, 

1292
00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:58,680
there's an Oscar Wilde statue in
Marion Square where he's kind of

1293
00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:01,560
like lying on a rock, really 
flamboyantly. 

1294
00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:05,160
When my my friend was a kid, his
dad, they were walking past and 

1295
00:58:05,160 --> 00:58:08,600
his dad said that's me. 
He fully believed it was his 

1296
00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:09,240
dad. 
Yeah. 

1297
00:58:09,440 --> 00:58:12,200
Or my dad told me when I was a 
kid because he did. 

1298
00:58:12,200 --> 00:58:13,840
He must have done something good
in basketball. 

1299
00:58:13,840 --> 00:58:16,040
And he told us that he was in 
the Harlem Globetrotters. 

1300
00:58:16,080 --> 00:58:17,400
Yeah. 
And I fully. 

1301
00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:18,960
Believed them, but what? 
Was the thing. 

1302
00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:20,560
He did good in basketball. 
He must have. 

1303
00:58:21,240 --> 00:58:22,720
Just. 
Thrown it in the hoop like. 

1304
00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:26,080
Empty bottle of. 
Water in a bin and they said I'd

1305
00:58:26,080 --> 00:58:30,400
best mates for Showtime gaffing.
Showtime. 

1306
00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:33,160
Gaffney, one of the most famous 
harm through globetrotters. 

1307
00:58:33,640 --> 00:58:35,640
Showtime. 
Gaffney yeah, I don't think we 

1308
00:58:35,640 --> 00:58:37,960
know individual shrubbers like 
can you find? 

1309
00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:40,000
Showtime Gaffney. 
So what you're trying to say is.

1310
00:58:40,120 --> 00:58:41,640
Helmut, yeah. 
Showtime. 

1311
00:58:41,680 --> 00:58:45,520
Helmut, Showtime, Gaffney. 
Yeah. 

1312
00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:47,120
So I think a great. 
Name Harlem. 

1313
00:58:47,120 --> 00:58:50,000
Globetrotters aren't really they
wouldn't be doing much anymore, 

1314
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:51,400
so they wouldn't like they 
should be involved. 

1315
00:58:52,040 --> 00:58:54,520
Yeah. 
Were they ex players or were 

1316
00:58:54,520 --> 00:58:56,080
they all just freestyles? 
I still think they're. 

1317
00:58:56,080 --> 00:58:59,080
Players to this day, my friend, 
they're travelling the world, 

1318
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:01,560
shooting hope and then playing a
bit of basketball as well. 

1319
00:59:01,560 --> 00:59:03,240
That'd be a good. 
Life because like, they're not 

1320
00:59:03,240 --> 00:59:05,440
playing food games. 
Do you know what I mean? 

1321
00:59:05,440 --> 00:59:07,320
No, no. 
Yeah, it's all choreographed, 

1322
00:59:07,320 --> 00:59:08,320
doesn't it? 
Yeah, they're doing they're. 

1323
00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:10,520
Like bouncing the ball off 
people's heads and making fun of

1324
00:59:10,520 --> 00:59:12,760
them and that kind of thing. 
It's more of a show, you know? 

1325
00:59:12,800 --> 00:59:14,760
I mean, I know my dad was in the
Harlem Globe. 

1326
00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:19,440
It's a family. 
Thing you know, we all go to the

1327
00:59:19,440 --> 00:59:22,920
games and. 
You're like, this is exactly how

1328
00:59:22,920 --> 00:59:24,840
the last game went. 
That what? 

1329
00:59:25,440 --> 00:59:26,920
All these people. 
From Harlem are like why does 

1330
00:59:26,920 --> 00:59:28,880
this Irish guy keep showing up 
at that game? 

1331
00:59:29,120 --> 00:59:30,480
Is that where? 
They started, was there some 

1332
00:59:30,480 --> 00:59:34,760
like just real cocky young guy, 
just like spinning balls and the

1333
00:59:34,760 --> 00:59:36,920
fingers in Harlem and they're 
like, you need to put a team 

1334
00:59:36,920 --> 00:59:38,480
together. 
Showtime, Gaffney and the boys 

1335
00:59:38,480 --> 00:59:40,680
he was also. 
Like, not good enough to play 

1336
00:59:40,680 --> 00:59:43,040
professional basketball, but he 
was able to do all the tricks 

1337
00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:44,480
and stuff. 
Yeah, but it goes freestyle. 

1338
00:59:44,480 --> 00:59:46,320
Footballers, you know, like, why
are you not playing for 

1339
00:59:46,320 --> 00:59:47,920
Barcelona? 
Those skills is like, because 

1340
00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:49,560
you can just do it on the spot. 
Yeah, yeah. 

1341
00:59:49,560 --> 00:59:51,960
Because balance it on the head 
for two minutes, Eventually 

1342
00:59:51,960 --> 00:59:53,760
someone's going to come and just
take that off And remember 

1343
00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:55,600
Carlon they used. 
To call him the seal boy, yes, 

1344
00:59:55,600 --> 00:59:57,120
that was his trick. 
And then they're like they 

1345
00:59:57,160 --> 00:59:59,360
called him the seal. 
Never called him the seal boy. 

1346
01:00:01,520 --> 01:00:03,600
But yeah. 
He could do headers on his head 

1347
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:06,800
while running, Yeah, but then 
South American footballers have 

1348
01:00:07,120 --> 01:00:09,600
no time so they just just kick 
the fuck out of them. 

1349
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:11,400
You know what happened. 
There and they're like, actually

1350
01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:13,920
we're gonna make that rule 
illegal you can't travel the 

1351
01:00:13,920 --> 01:00:16,320
ball in your head and then 
Carlon the seal boy is just sent

1352
01:00:16,560 --> 01:00:20,480
back into the ocean or whatever 
it goes sail boys no from. 

1353
01:00:20,480 --> 01:00:24,280
The land back into the. 
With you, but that shouldn't be 

1354
01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:25,520
found. 
I love all that stuff. 

1355
01:00:26,160 --> 01:00:27,680
And you? 
Can't stand on the ball anymore,

1356
01:00:27,920 --> 01:00:29,120
really. 
That's made. 

1357
01:00:29,120 --> 01:00:32,280
It Yeah, because people. 
Give off so much, but that came 

1358
01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:35,520
when the players do. 
Pick it up, either get rid of 

1359
01:00:35,520 --> 01:00:38,000
that, yeah. 
Well, that's probably why 

1360
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:41,920
someone kicked me when I had. 
Stuff like that. 

1361
01:00:42,240 --> 01:00:43,000
Yeah, I have. 
Football. 

1362
01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:46,240
Nowadays. 
Part of it you may both bro when

1363
01:00:46,240 --> 01:00:47,400
you watch it. 
It's just not. 

1364
01:00:49,160 --> 01:00:50,200
It's like there's. 
No Wild. 

1365
01:00:50,200 --> 01:00:52,200
There's no Wildman, There's no 
Mavericks. 

1366
01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:53,480
Yeah, no. 
Jimmy Bullard. 

1367
01:00:53,920 --> 01:00:55,240
Yeah, the. 
Last of the Wildman. 

1368
01:00:55,600 --> 01:00:57,840
I met Ronaldinho. 
But just like a Roy. 

1369
01:00:57,840 --> 01:01:00,280
Keane, who just kicks the legs 
out of people like that but. 

1370
01:01:00,280 --> 01:01:04,200
Like people who are just going 
to like skin people, players who

1371
01:01:04,200 --> 01:01:05,720
let me in your mouth. 
Let me in your mouth. 

1372
01:01:05,720 --> 01:01:08,640
He's like this, this. 12 year 
old boy who was bathed by Messi.

1373
01:01:08,760 --> 01:01:10,720
Have you seen that? 
Yeah, that's weird. 

1374
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:12,800
That's like is. 
That not like an insane. 

1375
01:01:13,120 --> 01:01:15,680
It's like him bathing this 
little boy would grow a little 

1376
01:01:15,680 --> 01:01:16,480
bit uncomfortable. 
Yeah. 

1377
01:01:17,040 --> 01:01:18,200
That's the people want him to be
a. 

1378
01:01:18,200 --> 01:01:21,560
Wee bit fat or something like I 
want a maverick like I want to 

1379
01:01:21,560 --> 01:01:23,120
have a drum though that not 
enough. 

1380
01:01:23,120 --> 01:01:26,400
People why is why is Lionel 
Messi beef and chill like 

1381
01:01:26,400 --> 01:01:27,680
babies? 
I don't know. 

1382
01:01:27,680 --> 01:01:31,200
Something some marketing guru 
guy was like, you know, imagine 

1383
01:01:31,200 --> 01:01:33,120
that you signed up, you send 
your kid up for this thing to 

1384
01:01:33,120 --> 01:01:36,200
meet Lionel Messi and then like 
it's just some young like size 

1385
01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:38,560
dope. 
Like, so we've kind of gone for 

1386
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:41,480
an interesting route here, and 
Lionel's actually going to. 

1387
01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:43,400
Can you get your child naked? 
He's. 

1388
01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:44,680
Actually going to bathe your 
boy. 

1389
01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:48,480
Like, do you reckon? 
He bought loads of Barcelona 

1390
01:01:48,480 --> 01:01:50,160
children. 
On the off chance that one of 

1391
01:01:50,160 --> 01:01:52,040
them make it, they're like he 
bought a man. 

1392
01:01:52,040 --> 01:01:53,920
Yeah, yeah. 
Fucking wrinkly fingers if you 

1393
01:01:53,920 --> 01:01:55,640
have to check me and he's 
constantly and he's like, you 

1394
01:01:55,640 --> 01:01:57,000
know the way. 
When you see celebrities doing 

1395
01:01:57,000 --> 01:01:59,440
autographs and they're just like
this, as a manager moving from 

1396
01:01:59,440 --> 01:02:02,800
it's probably not really 
bathroom he flex the water for 

1397
01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:05,760
not then scrub. 
Daddy on the back for a second 

1398
01:02:05,800 --> 01:02:07,000
and then they're on if you're 
signed an. 

1399
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:09,280
Autograph I have. 
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 

1400
01:02:09,440 --> 01:02:10,680
And a gig and. 
I don't. 

1401
01:02:10,880 --> 01:02:12,480
Like, no, it was. 
Yeah, it was before. 

1402
01:02:12,480 --> 01:02:14,800
Kendall artisanal cheese shop in
Lifford I think. 

1403
01:02:17,840 --> 01:02:19,320
They didn't have a signature. 
Cheese. 

1404
01:02:20,800 --> 01:02:22,920
No, it was I. 
Think it was a fringe thing and 

1405
01:02:22,920 --> 01:02:25,680
they had the they had the 
booklet and they were asking 

1406
01:02:25,680 --> 01:02:28,480
everyone to sign. 
And then maybe one more other 

1407
01:02:28,480 --> 01:02:31,720
time. 
I was at the premiere for The 

1408
01:02:31,720 --> 01:02:34,880
Last of Us in London and I chose
big heads. 

1409
01:02:34,880 --> 01:02:39,640
I saw on a big billboard. 
It was, what's it called, Colin 

1410
01:02:39,640 --> 01:02:42,880
Geddes and Aaron McCann, but 
they had a big fucking thing. 

1411
01:02:42,880 --> 01:02:46,080
I've had a billboard and. 10 The
whole all this like you know. 

1412
01:02:46,560 --> 01:02:47,840
Pedro Pascal, all these people 
are here. 

1413
01:02:47,840 --> 01:02:49,840
And then it's just like calling 
in Aaron's head and I'm like, 

1414
01:02:49,920 --> 01:02:53,280
none of these people know. 
You guys don't? 

1415
01:02:53,280 --> 01:02:57,160
Know, but they were people 
asking for autographs there and 

1416
01:02:57,160 --> 01:03:00,000
it was so funny because you've 
never felt worse than when 

1417
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:02,760
you're like, you know, walking 
along a red carpet and you can 

1418
01:03:02,760 --> 01:03:04,600
just see the people ahead of you
and they're all all the 

1419
01:03:04,600 --> 01:03:07,400
photographers like. 
And then you're walking. 

1420
01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:09,280
Past, and it's just like dead 
silence. 

1421
01:03:10,320 --> 01:03:11,840
And you're like. 
Walking over these people. 

1422
01:03:11,840 --> 01:03:14,120
Holding out, getting everyone, 
people they don't even know to 

1423
01:03:14,120 --> 01:03:15,840
sign, and then they take one 
look at you and they're like, 

1424
01:03:16,600 --> 01:03:17,560
not worth. 
The ink? 

1425
01:03:17,600 --> 01:03:19,000
Yeah, not even. 
Worth the ink? 

1426
01:03:19,400 --> 01:03:23,240
Did you say another? 
Not really. 

1427
01:03:23,240 --> 01:03:24,600
You sign body parts. 
Yeah. 

1428
01:03:24,800 --> 01:03:26,440
I'd say you have, yeah. 
Sign body parts. 

1429
01:03:26,640 --> 01:03:28,960
I could just write. 
Yeah, just Dave, not the 

1430
01:03:28,960 --> 01:03:30,360
surname. 
In a lot of places, penises 

1431
01:03:30,800 --> 01:03:33,520
people wake up. 
With Dave written on the just, 

1432
01:03:33,520 --> 01:03:34,800
they never. 
Ask for the autographs. 

1433
01:03:34,800 --> 01:03:37,280
I just decided to bestow it upon
them and. 

1434
01:03:37,920 --> 01:03:40,240
You're in a limelight tonight. 
Limelight too. 

1435
01:03:40,280 --> 01:03:41,400
Yeah, no point in this plug. 
In it. 

1436
01:03:41,400 --> 01:03:43,560
This was in two weeks. 
But all sold out. 

1437
01:03:43,560 --> 01:03:45,400
Thank you. 
You had a good I'm taking you. 

1438
01:03:45,520 --> 01:03:48,080
Sorry, you had a good one. 
Well, is it? 

1439
01:03:48,160 --> 01:03:49,160
Oh. 
It's past. 

1440
01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:50,640
Yes, past. 
Oh yeah, it was. 

1441
01:03:50,640 --> 01:03:53,200
The best show I've ever done. 
Can't believe that support was 

1442
01:03:53,200 --> 01:03:54,920
unbelievable. 
Superb. 

1443
01:03:54,920 --> 01:03:56,640
Time. 
You're gonna have that. 

1444
01:03:56,640 --> 01:03:58,760
What are you gonna have for? 
Dinner. 

1445
01:03:58,760 --> 01:04:00,280
Jeez, I don't. 
Know I'm not great at eating on 

1446
01:04:00,280 --> 01:04:02,560
show days. 
I don't really know how to I 

1447
01:04:02,560 --> 01:04:04,720
always kind of mess it up 
because I don't want to be awful

1448
01:04:05,480 --> 01:04:07,800
to know what I started doing. 
And this is I know we're on a 

1449
01:04:07,800 --> 01:04:12,920
podcast, but Hue but actually 
pretty good for shows because it

1450
01:04:12,920 --> 01:04:15,080
doesn't, you know, fill you up 
too much and it's technically a 

1451
01:04:15,080 --> 01:04:18,840
full meal. 
So he'll sometimes. 

1452
01:04:18,840 --> 01:04:21,520
But like I said. 
Are the corner of my eye because

1453
01:04:21,520 --> 01:04:24,600
you're both wearing shorts. 
Dave rubbed his own leg and a 

1454
01:04:24,600 --> 01:04:27,560
split second while you were 
talking right yours and you're 

1455
01:04:27,560 --> 01:04:30,520
reacting in any way. 
I was like, I'm just going to 

1456
01:04:30,520 --> 01:04:32,040
see where this goes. 
I like. 

1457
01:04:32,240 --> 01:04:33,920
To get comfortable with my 
support. 

1458
01:04:36,480 --> 01:04:38,080
This. 
That's the rule. 

1459
01:04:38,080 --> 01:04:41,800
Like, yeah, but the show went 
well. 

1460
01:04:42,040 --> 01:04:45,120
Hopefully show went well. 
I'm bringing it to Edinburgh. 

1461
01:04:45,120 --> 01:04:46,600
Edinburgh Fringe? 
Where are you playing? 

1462
01:04:48,440 --> 01:04:50,560
Underbelly? 
Somewhere to link to Fringe? 

1463
01:04:50,560 --> 01:04:52,480
Tickets in the description of 
this episode. 

1464
01:04:52,720 --> 01:04:54,440
Oh, amazing. 
But yeah, that. 

1465
01:04:54,440 --> 01:04:56,880
Would be, that would be amazing.
I'd need to see if that's live. 

1466
01:04:56,880 --> 01:04:58,760
But yeah, there you go. 
It's actually, it is live. 

1467
01:04:59,360 --> 01:05:01,800
It'll be a link to something. 
Is there anything done? 

1468
01:05:01,800 --> 01:05:03,600
Deal to. 
All my cars, sorry. 

1469
01:05:04,400 --> 01:05:05,640
Else you want to plug and 
promote. 

1470
01:05:07,680 --> 01:05:10,400
No, I don't think so. 
Happiness, Happiness. 

1471
01:05:11,360 --> 01:05:15,760
Prosperity also I'm doing a like
a panto on the waterfront with 

1472
01:05:15,760 --> 01:05:17,880
them and. 
It's sort of like a. 

1473
01:05:17,880 --> 01:05:21,800
Reimagination of Peter Pan, 
except it's gruesome and and a 

1474
01:05:21,800 --> 01:05:23,840
lot of paedophilia. 
And anyway, bring your kids. 

1475
01:05:24,280 --> 01:05:26,760
It's great. 
We will get Dave to bathe each 

1476
01:05:26,760 --> 01:05:29,000
and everyone of them. 
It's going to be wonderful, OK. 

1477
01:05:29,880 --> 01:05:31,640
Do you have anything you want? 
To plug into a lesson, though, 

1478
01:05:31,640 --> 01:05:32,440
I'm. 
Just delighted. 

1479
01:05:32,560 --> 01:05:36,320
What about the slag podcast? 
Yes, Oh yeah, Slag podcast as 

1480
01:05:36,320 --> 01:05:40,920
much available for you now. 
Beautiful, sexy and you know 

1481
01:05:40,920 --> 01:05:44,000
what I'm going to do? 
Enjoy Vitamin C&D Devon D in the

1482
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:46,720
sunshine. 
I'm going to drink vitamin C 

1483
01:05:46,720 --> 01:05:48,480
whilst I'm in the sun. 
You have an orange. 

1484
01:05:48,480 --> 01:05:49,680
Juice outside? 
No, I'm going to have those wee.

1485
01:05:49,680 --> 01:05:52,120
Tablets that are sprinkle in the
juice keep yourself hydrated. 

1486
01:05:52,120 --> 01:05:54,080
Sit in a dark room guys. 
Thank you very. 

1487
01:05:54,080 --> 01:05:56,520
Much for the for coming up. 
Thank you for coming up to do 

1488
01:05:56,520 --> 01:05:58,680
the pod you. 
Thanks for coming here. 

1489
01:05:58,680 --> 01:06:00,480
But less wheel drive. 
Yeah, it's less fast. 

1490
01:06:00,520 --> 01:06:02,920
And I just don't use my regular 
car as I see this right. 

1491
01:06:03,400 --> 01:06:07,280
SSE Arena this Friday, 23rd of 
May. 

1492
01:06:07,600 --> 01:06:09,400
Ticket last tickets in the 
description. 

1493
01:06:09,560 --> 01:06:11,920
We're going to put those right 
here. 

1494
01:06:11,920 --> 01:06:13,160
Fausty, what do you think of 
that? 

1495
01:06:13,240 --> 01:06:15,520
Yeah. 
It's going to be he hates it. 

1496
01:06:15,800 --> 01:06:17,680
Look at this text. 
Coming up. 

1497
01:06:17,800 --> 01:06:19,120
Oh. 
You know what? 

1498
01:06:19,160 --> 01:06:22,480
It's actually going to come out 
of my hands like this there we. 

1499
01:06:22,480 --> 01:06:23,640
Go. 
Dave Mckimer. 

1500
01:06:23,640 --> 01:06:28,040
Your bum like. 
Yeah, I'm going to I'm. 

1501
01:06:28,040 --> 01:06:28,640
Going to snort.