Zippers welcome to this episode of the tea with me podcast with
me. She and told it's Christmas Day.
It's Christmas Day. Is it actually Christmas Day
when this comes out? Shalom.
Can I say to my fans? Crossing Michael Jacksonville.
Feliz Navidad. Oh, nice, Dave, go ahead.
Go ahead. Feliz Navidad.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, to the Spaniards.
Happy Christmas, everybody. Before we get into this episode,
let me tell you that this episode of the TV podcast
sponsored by None of the Manscaped.
And what better thing to do with all your Christmas money?
Yes, David. I just mean what a better thing
to do on Christmas Day and the shave your pubes.
Don't go see the family. Don't spend time with you, say
you. Lock those balls, nothing more
your family want than a clean bar, said Chris.
You say, Granny, I will be there, but at the minute I'm not
lying to you. It looks like.
It looks like.
Quick wit. Here's the thing, Granny.
It. Looks like it's going to be
Christmas, but I'm going to tell you.
It'll be some Stevens Day, for God's sake.
It looks like Granny looks like I have a lot of pubes because I
do, so I'm going to shave. Them first.
I don't know, Granny will. Do you think that looks like
pubes? The granny is no Bush like a
granny. Why is my granny the dad and
Steptoe and something But look, you start you.
I want you to start 2025 right? And that is with a lovely trim
pubic region manscape to have all the products you need.
I don't know if there's some sort of sale on the website.
Maybe there's, Maybe there's a. Like a 20% off in free shipping
if you use the offer code. And that's an all year sale that
we have 20% off free shipping. The links in the description
Manscape have unbelievable products.
Also, if you're going to somebody's house and you forgot
to get them a Christmas present, get it now and then take it
there. Seriously though, if you buy a
manscape for your family, how's that Chaco?
Well, family member. You're getting for your uncle.
Right, and show up to his house. Happy Christmas.
For our. I go listen.
Don't wear from them, right? Yeah.
Fucking ignorant bastard. That's Rabidor or I'll just down
there and. I go.
It could be Manscape himself. I say listen, I remember you
were wearing shorts were a bit too short because the early 90s
was different time and I remember it.
First of all, I thought Leo Sayer was was in your shorts.
Yeah, the very niche reference in Afro.
Yeah, I. Couldn't think about for all
guys Jimmy Afro there X Factor way more niche.
Yeah, mad outside Jimmy or Jason Shankey and Let's Burn Rd ones.
Got a photo of them? Jimmy Afro me play voice.
Umm, so we just be like, I just be like, we need to talk.
I go listen, I've brought you the greatest gift of all, and
that is no pubes. Why have you harboured that
memory for about 25 years? Because it turned me on so much.
Happy Christmas. Happy Christmas.
We also need to plug the Patreon.
We look, there's an episode, there's a Lazy Boys episode
coming out window. This Friday, This Friday is that
with Father Christmas, not with Father Christmas with Gary.
Clause something's brother. Yeah.
Dave, you, you will love this episode of Lazy Boys.
We thought Father Christmas was coming to visit us.
OK, Father Tepmas, he was calling himself.
We'll leave it at that great episode of Lazy Boys plus Paul
back catalogue of all the tea with me Patreon stuff SSE there
was a video what to start about it, but in May we're doing the
SSE Arena tea with me live. Let's get stuck into this
episode. If we may she and talk
comedy.com come see my Irish and American tour shows.
Come into my. Commerce, get ready.
Commerce get ready. Commerce Get.
Ready, Ching Dominic, the donkey.
What you call me? Whoa, whoa.
Ching the Italian Christmas donkey.
What's your favourite Christmas tradition?
Brother. Like from around the world?
Because a lot of random ones. Krampus Krampus first ever.
Boy, what was that podcast called me this?
The first ever boy original. Boy.
You see my new? Film where I play the first ever
boy father. Why am I smaller than all the
men in the village? Because he was another boy, the
first ever boy. So does that make me the oldest
boy? Yes, the sequel.
The world's oldest boy. 17 1/2 years old, they call.
Me, the world's oldest boy. AK, the elderly child.
Oh, can I get a bus passed down? Look at this freakishly.
Begin quick. Call Ripley.
Get him in the phone. I've got the oldest boy.
People will roll up from miles away to see the oldest boy.
The moment to be in the fast battle of.
The freaks just say oh Ripley. You didn't even specify his
audit. Could just be like Terry.
Ripley up the road. X Blackburn Rovers.
League winner. Sure reply.
You're right. I'd be brilliant, do you think?
Reply. I love his ice cream that's.
Not even it I know. You would go up there mods me to
cover Raspberry Ripley. Please over on a comedy podcast.
Oh yes. It's all right.
Was dead serious. Don't you fucking ever suggest
that again. Does Ripley have a guy like if
Ripley if you phone up and say you phone?
Age the agents of someone. Come out to have a look to be
like, Let's see how much of A freakless freak really is.
Was that what I thought it was a Guinness word, but it is Ripley.
Guinness's World Book of Ripley's Ripley and.
I thought there was like, biggest freak.
He went, yeah. Ripley's Believe It Or Not is
they show you like freak stuff and they're like, there is
always no. Fact is, believe it or not.
Believe it or not, this bitch is a beer.
Whoa, she's maybe she's a polycystic ovaries or something.
Everything by that Ripley. You go in and you go in and it's
like a lot of freaks. There's a Ripley's Believe It or
Not museum in Florida that I've been to, right?
Like me just they don't have live dudes there.
Yeah, you know, but it's like. Back in the day, it was
carnival. Yeah, bring them in.
No, no. Like.
The three of us, by the way, would have been in a Victorian
carnival A. 100%. See if I was alive.
Look at his fingers. Who's?
Live in 18 or two. Half man have T Rex.
What was? Truffle pig, let's go.
I did truffle in the audience. The biggest man as well
Shortest. Leg Williams girl.
I come out and we train, we chain like.
Babies. You, you.
Your moustache should be curled. Yeah, I, I, but it is, it is so
like if you had somebody to debunk them all.
Now, this is the man with the baby attached to him.
Know what it is? There is actually.
He was a twin, but the second twin hasn't fully developed and
it's being attached to his body. You say a man.
Actually a freaky probably should have some medical
procedure procedure to remove that.
You say a man to debunk them. That's just really a doctor.
Yeah, that's just a doctor explaining things.
Yes, now the. Function.
Man. Look at this freak.
It's got no news. Actually, he got ravaged by.
That's the problem. With the worldwide.
My son was mauled by a pit. This man's a freak.
He has got 2 toes. No, he had severe diabetes.
That's what's happened to him. He's lost toes in on the me.
He's just sitting there like this throughout the rock.
What is in the museum if it's not live, dudes?
They'll be like the world's biggest snake.
Oh fucking hell. You know.
Tell me they'll be like fucking nasty Nick Bateman.
Jesus. Christ.
Nick Bateman, What a great. What a cunt.
Do you remember? My language is appalling.
Again, the first ever series of Big Brother we passed our notes
on that we should evict this person and was healed is like
honestly Fred W got better treatment.
I'm not joking. I knew the name, not Deborah.
It's. Not all he did.
That's all he did. That's like, he didn't bully, he
wasn't racist, he didn't bully anyone.
But that's not as bad as writing, notes boy.
What the fuck? Depends if you're writing racist
notes. Oh yeah.
Evict this slower. Cracker.
I thought I always thought they were better than Oasis.
I was gonna do blur, but if they're a racist and I went no,
this goes out, I'm not. Gonna do.
Yeah, We look some up. Can you guys tell some freaks
that are in Ripley's Believer? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, do you remember we got the Smasher pass on the Freak?
Dan, can you type in Ripley's? Pocket or not?
Best ever freaks or something but like.
And this one is the pig woman. No, it's just a woman who has
like a weird growth in her face. She's a pig woman forever.
What would our names be? What would our name be?
In the freak show, like you know, they try and like box
office your name, you know. Oh, oh, and it's hard on I'd be
probably. So what would I be?
I'd be some sort of. You'd be hydrogenous, man.
The androgynous long limbed. That's not don't roll off a
tongue. Yeah.
The androgenous, long limbed, weird eyed.
I'd be the gap tooth. BLOB.
The gap tooth BLOB. Roll up to see the gap tooth
BLOB. Put your wife in between his
front 2 teeth you'll pour out. You'll be the finger ghoul.
You just. You will.
Pick your pockets from a different town.
It's the finger. You're here, he can close your
back door from here. Keep an eye on your other back
door. Oopsie.
It'll be extra I. Think I'd be the no necked
badger? Yeah, they dressed me up as like
a wee badger. No neck on the badger.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What would you do we paint in
your face to make you look like? I know what they do.
Everyone's in and sat and then they turn all the lights off and
they let him just run amok. So he like run through on your
legs? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm like you just don't know where.
You're running. Yeah.
What you're saying, what I do, and please believe it or not, is
essentially we turn the lights off.
And I just have a go with you. But then back in those days,
that wasn't. Believe it or not, this guy will
just have a go on. So back in those days, like the
man who likes the anal hole, it's the Rimmer the.
Lights come on. The lights come on.
And he holds a goal for the rim boy.
Oh no, yeah, you keep him on the leash.
Yes. Now you may watch out or I will
release the Rim Boy. Or the arse.
Boy the arse boy. Worst ever marvels.
Derry Airman. I'm waiting for what they say.
Londonderry airman, anyway. Look that kind of podcast back.
Christmas. Oh, here we go.
Here's some of the. Dick and Don there mate.
The original deck. What are these?
11 has a very serious and the other has a very showman they
like. It's the straight man and the
Joker. They're like, yeah.
The straight man and the homosexual.
What's this creature? This is a little girl.
I've got little girls. I'd hate that to be mine.
Just me as a kid. Oh no, it's the crab.
Boy, you know the very. Fingers.
He just has crab pinces. Oh.
Shake his hand. Oh, what's so grim?
What's this? It's.
All those really hairy face guys.
Peruvian Wolf child. Yeah.
Fully grown, I could do the manscape.
Manscape prescription. Yeah.
As you are like that everywhere. Or just his face.
Just his face. Bald is caught elsewhere.
Oh wow, them Oh is the player. You do it like that.
Human Tripod put a microphone on his head.
With a shoe on his large penis. Look at these freaks.
John, I'd pay 5 toppings under this.
This guy looks like the human Aardvark up there.
A man with a very large trunk. The Elephant Man.
The Elephant Man, you actually niffle.
Oh, yes, Sir. Yeah, maybe human being.
No, this is actually just. A photo hide this.
Is a photo of me beside you, Dave.
Why you dressed as a little girl?
I'm a man. I love it that nobody knew what
albinos were back in the day and they're like this little freak
is a monster. Has not seen sunlight for many a
decade. He is a child of Fritzl.
So let me very quickly interrupt this episode of TV Podcast tell
you that we are sponsored by our friends at Nord VPN and we are
spreading the Christmas cheer by giving you the gift.
And that is the gift of discounted Nord VPN virtual
private network. Some you can use when
travelling. If you're someone also who
connects to public Wi-Fi and start box or whatever, and you
want to hide your details, you put one VPN account covers 10
devices, so you can keep everything encrypted in a
virtual tunnel. Whoa.
And secure nor VPN are unbelievable.
I've used don't want to travel. We all have used it and and it's
great. And also you can hide your
virtual location. So if you're booking flights or
hotels, what they might do is if you're in a different country,
they make that more expensive. Nor VPN.
You're trying to book hotel in Spain, you say hey I'm in Spain.
Better magic from your VPN. You'll get those local prices.
It is the fastest VPN in the world.
No buffering when logging or streaming and no buffering will
stop your streaming fuck up. I wonder.
VPN account can be used on 10 devices to get the best.
It's kind of your Nord VPN plan. Go to nordvpn.com/team and me.
The link is down below. You get four months for free on
A2 year plan. There's no risk with the 30 day
money back guarantee. Back to the episode.
Well what's your Christmas Day plans brother?
What type? What are your Christmas Day
plans? I normally just I'm very
hungover so I lie in bed and tell people not to bother me.
On Christmas Day, yeah, I loved going on Christmas Eve paint.
Love that. You know me, I take it too far.
I'm doing shots, doing baby Guinness.
Where do you go? Horatio dudes.
Yeah. Yeah, it's my Christmas suits.
It's lovely. It's lovely.
On Christmas Eve, it's Ram, but it's great.
Nice older ladies there too, you know what I mean?
Nicely, nicely, lonely as Christmas are.
You who's on the pool on Christmas Eve?
I tell you what, real Derper tonight.
Do you want to spend your Christmas Eve trying to get a
taxi or your Christmas trying to get a taxi home from mine?
I imagine that too. No, I'm thinking of getting a
taxi. That's the middle-aged guy.
Me being like trying to get a taxi Christmas morning.
You paying double? There's more people than
presents and you have to wake up beside me.
There would be nothing worse than if you managed to pass out
block somewhere on Christmas Eve.
I'd have to go back to your like wife, kids being like, sorry
about that. The worst morning to be like.
The Santa company I did. I fell asleep in the toilets of
Ratio told Daddy Rolls in a 4:00 PM.
Sorry, but. I've made this time I know where
my know but there's a couple of holly but toddies newly single
divorcees in. There, you've definitely fallen
asleep in toilets. Oh yeah, 1000 per year.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Fell asleep in the Westlife
concert once. Got absolutely blessed.
In the. Fasting toilet.
Yeah, and when the toilet. Can cope was like I picked the
Whitey. So one thing sat in the polls.
The holiday just past. I woke up.
I love the way David, you're treating it like a Derby
football match, getting sicked up for flying without wings.
And I missed it ironically. Stone Island jacket on Westlake
you'd. Look like a wee toilet roll if
you fell asleep in the Muppet scarf, yeah.
Yeah, I'd be a man. You come up and eat men's
bottoms if they stood on the table.
I mean, I'd be a scary side if you're the guy that doors been
locked for a while and the guy jump over I'm I'm a walk out of
the boat. By the way, fully closed as
well, just. And that's me with Nippy around
the old zippy as well. Look, this is a tradition.
This tradition is nearly as important as Christmas itself.
And that is the Tea with meatball game episode.
Now, Dave, I've got to warn you. Yeah, from previous years of
playing with this guy cheater. Oh no.
Little I resent that you've yet to prove that I've cheated Dan
Foster. We've noticed over the years
when you review the footage that Willie T telling the move three
places he moves for. The allegations I disbelief.
Rat. Nope.
I refute that. I plead the 5th.
You have not proved that I've cheated.
You've not proved it. Hasn't been proven, it's been
suspected. Isn't it wild in America you
still can't plead the 5th Amendment?
Why is that wild? You think it's wild in 2024 that
there is a ruler? You go.
The rule is there so you don't have to basically admit to the
crime that's. That's wild, no?
Why is that wild? You don't think it's wild that
in in American law, you can just be like, I plead the first man?
I don't think it's wild that there's a law that means you
can't be tricked in to admit the crime you didn't do.
You know anything's. Wilder.
You can just shoot kids with Sammy automatic.
Yeah, that's wild. Cool.
That's wild to me. I think it's wild.
They're just shooting CEOs and everyone's like fuck yeah that's
wild. I don't think that's not wild.
Can I make that clear? I don't think the only thing
wild in the world is that an American you pleaded fit.
There's more people to go to gaol.
You're racist, but that is why it's so they can't trick you
into admitting you did a crime that you did not do by the way
they phrased the question. There's basically seem like you
didn't know. Then I think what they're
missing out on is they aren't going to hit them back with it's
actually opposite day. Yeah, I did it.
Apple was opposite day. Played the minus fifth.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I put it to you, Sir, that
gay boy. Say what?
And they're like what they're like.
That's all I'm saying. That's he.
You OK? That happened when we were in
Dubai, right? Yep.
I don't know you. Don't need an alibi mate, no one
thinks. It was, but I so was he.
He was for a big. Help a suitable company.
Right. So what was the motivation of
the guy who did it? So basically I think his
motivation was he just hates capitalism.
He was shown to be like a big Marxist.
They couldn't. Have fired a Facebook post up
No. He could have fired that up, but
he'd rather fire a fucking clip in the bad guys guys skull.
Now he was a big fan of like the Unabomber.
He's like quite an anarchist. So he hates this system of
insurance where you're paying thousands of dollars.
Then when it comes time for you to get insured because you're
sick, the company is like, actually you didn't fill out
your paperwork right, So you pay for that treatment yourself.
So he was like, do you know what it is?
Boom boom. More fill him from his
paperwork, right? Tell her that guy who's painted
all over the fucking St. Have they got him?
What's up? Yeah, they find him.
He got. Can you get up a photo of the
guy? Mario.
He's Saxy. Like he's actually called Luigi.
Luigi. He was trying to pull over his
cart. He was heading down a wee
surpipe. He's a sex.
I wouldn't mind this guy firing into me.
Wouldn't see his bastard. Oh, you said he's a hot guy.
Not even ridiculously hot. Normally hot guys, No, I don't
disagree. No, he's not.
Get that? See, that one was in the forest
I got. The Forest.
He looks like a pubic head man. He looks like Rory McIlroy.
Oh, hey, Daddy. Yeah, and I love, I love how the
entire is in shape. The entire world is like this
guy that is Grant. Good lad.
I think for hosting a worry and stuff beforehand.
Not really being on like message boards, being like capitalism,
stupid. Fuck these guys.
Being capitalism. Sex.
Oh, daddy, if. You're seeing this.
I've been arrested. And it was.
Waiting the upload and then they've taken it.
Down OH. He'll be scondered about that.
He got all kinds of hits off that in my monetizing.
Afterlife, like AH, took the video.
He's alive. He's alive in prison.
He's not dead. Oh, he's the shooter, not the
shooter. The.
Find him in a McDonald's. Yeah, really.
That's which is irony for all the capitalism he's fucking
giving off about. No, but the best part is the
person who phoned it in, who recognised him in the McDonald's
because there was like a reward out for information on him.
But do Big Macs? But it was like 50 grand or
something, big amount of money. But because they phoned the
police and not the hotline, he's not getting the money.
So now everyone's being like come had a point, they will fuck
you. And the person who touted
getting nada getting Zelch. Oh my.
God, well and now everyone's like you're a rat, we bitch,
shout out him. But you know what?
You feel buzzing if you got scooped someone up, be like
you're hero. I'm like fucking Superman.
If you were the only, find the guy.
Yeah, because no, you're a type. Who is The Who is the serial
killer used to get like used to get boys and then there was one
boy like drilled the whole. Day, Jeffrey Dahmer.
And he wrestled, didn't he? So he used to read, He used to
play a game where he put handcuffs on you.
Is that right? Exactly that is no what Dahmer
did the thing where don't I'm laughing he had a.
John Wayne he would do. The coin.
He would do a thing where you go or play a game, I've got this
trick and he would basically handcuff you and he did it with
this guy. But this guy had like a high
school wrestle and background. So Gacy would like went to put
the cuffs on him. The guys like rolled out of it,
flipped it, put the handcuffs on him.
That's how you caught. Yeah, that's how you got caught.
But he got out because he was a big boy, too.
He nearly got happy Christmas everyone.
He nearly got caught because he like drilled a hole in this kids
head and they left them for a second and the kid like.
That was, that was. Damagedammer, the kid damned out
of the apartment. Yeah.
And. And then he came out was like,
we're just in a relationship. He loves it.
Yeah. Yeah.
And they let. Me, sorry.
We've had a fight and they're like, oh, I see you've drilled a
hole in his head, but I don't know what you guys get up to.
Sure. All right.
I mean, he likes we Breeze there's.
Another hole. Isn't it?
I know we ask this every year. It's the stock Christmas podcast
question. Worst Christmas present you ever
received? I don't know if I asked you.
This my my answer hasn't changed.
It will never top the bag of squashes and the rape alarm.
It will never ever top. That from his granny.
From a granny. Baby worst gift ever.
There's your sweeties and also Stacia.
Weird thing is, yeah, both. When you wank him, it's a
horrible noise. I don't know what my I just.
Did not worry about it. I think the worst I know the
worst person I ever gave. I bought my sister a Sugar Babe
CD, but I'd already known she was getting that Sugar Beef CD.
From somebody else? Yeah, and I threw out the
receipt because I wanted that sugar Beef CD.
So I was like, ah, fuck, you can't return it all.
Thank you, people. See.
What's the worst you've gotten? The gloves.
Has to be the. Gloves.
Yeah, the gloves from my dad. Talk about the light bulb.
But my dad bought me scrambler gloves and not a scrambler.
I wasn't expecting a scrumber when you buy me the gloves and
take me to see scrumbers. I do want to know what what
expects you to do with it. Just wear them on your bike or.
Swear to God on bike, on a push bike, on the street.
It's very odd. Part of you think that he just
forget. Then I think my dad put the
terror on because one time I got the bike I want that was called
a Ratley Dark Cross. So it was like halfway between a
bike and a BMX or class looking and we got it and Christmas Day
I was recycling all day. Put it in the shed that night,
stolen that night, never found again.
I my dad took it back to the shop.
I still think. Why, Yeah.
But give me a cheaper. Bike did you ask him and he's
like plead the 5th. Yeah, played the 5th.
Oh bastard. He played the 5th.
But I mean, is this in the house where your dad lives now?
Yep. There's no way I got stroke
there. No way.
You should get him back on and ask him.
To be fair, the shed was unlocked and there's fields
behind it so. You're not getting.
I fox got him. Take a bag, Jimmy.
Oh, he's lucky to be alive. OK.
Yeah, didn't they say on his Netflix special he's going to
say that? Like did he try to?
Kill him or. Yeah, I've tried not say that
word in the pod but. Did reference.
Why can't you say that word? Because then they monitor, you
know, you know, they're like, well.
Stop. Why we need this guy pop some
bitches in the head. I should be able to say the
words I want. When he gets out, he joins the
Paul production team. Yeah, yeah, They said he's going
to say on his podcast that did he tried to like have him clip,
but it hasn't. Did he say that?
No, but he said. People are saying that he's
like, I left the duty parties for a weird ship.
They all happened. I would say you organised them.
But he he, I definitely think the special was a way to be like
the whole way through. He's like, I'm man of God now.
The whole thing, like he cried about 10 times during it being
like, I shouldn't be here and it's all cried.
So I think he's kind of just trying to go right in down the
man of God. I tell you what, as the days go
on, I'm running out of people I can listen to now.
A lot of them. They got my boy.
What was the special like? It was OK, It wasn't, it wasn't,
it wasn't what I expected. He was too sad and he got his
kids like to sing and all and it was weird.
I just think he's cutting himself across.
There is like a good guy. But that's that's happening a
lot. Russell Brand him people that.
It's happened twice. Who else you using?
No accusations, but there's someone else who's recently.
Yeah, being accused. No, I don't know this person's
getting accused about it. No, this person hasn't been
accused of anything but. He did go to The Lion King after
getting accused, which is fucking men.
Who, who? Who?
Why you say, oh, what on me? 9 problems is more married to
Beyoncé. That was someone else.
Oh, OK. What I mean?
Oh, that's what I'm talking. About I still have issues with
that because apparently Beyoncé and Jay-Z went to a restaurant
and then people let them in after hours and served them food
and wouldn't get photos with them.
So I think that says a lot about with their next people.
Yeah, no, they're like they are. Yeah.
I'd be more annoyed about the other thing he's being accused
of. I just shouldn't miss.
It at the Corby like he also don't take.
Photos. We're a different generation,
William. We're different generation
Beyoncé's bitch. Whoa, come from me, bitch.
Why do you not like Beyoncé? For Kelly.
You prefer Kelly? He's talking about, although
that's at this point. So before we look forward,
before we do this, can I ask you, David, being serious,
what's your perfect Christmas Day?
What time I daily does David like?
But realistically, does David like to get up to?
Does David travel? What does the what time does
David have his food out and does David have naps talking about?
What's a lot of stress for me to think about all this?
Because as you know, right now, technical.
He's getting yours. I'm.
Freaking out of it where you are.
So I hope to wake up. I was bad.
I hope the way I love it. If you left it, I know.
It was the we limp but don't pick this came.
Out but I would like the way I would like the kids to wake up
at 8:00 but they'll like leave up 7.
Then I need to go downstairs, check out whether Santa's been
or not that boring, can't and things.
Or Fanta clause been about? Yeah, I realise that reference
is not a problem. Yeah.
So yeah, I'll go check Santa Claus.
Been there's been kids will go out and have a bit of a play.
We'll have like a Christmas breakfast, which will be like a
pack of celebrations or something, and then we'll just
hang a bite. So you give kids a full pack of
celebrations? For the Elvis election box, I
will or probably this so. Much and they go to get one you
like, stop on the window. This year we're going to
Catherine's parents, OK? So we'll go there, eat some
food. Then the kids get a bit like,
kids are really disrespectful. So they'll finish your dinner
and be like, listen, that and I know we're trying to be good
here, but like, this is so boring.
We won't play all, all our new stuff.
And I'll be like, yeah, it's fair enough.
And then we want to be like, like Holly will be a wee bit
more sensitive and be like, you know, listen, you know, I would,
I would just like to play my new stuff.
Matilda will be like, this sucks.
I want to leave. Right.
OK. And I'll go home.
We'll do a bit of play on their stuff that I'll go to bed.
I'll probably whip in a leader of Bailey's.
And whatever happens happens. What happens, happens.
Yeah, I'll eat. I'll eat ham.
You definitely. Sleep.
I'll eat ham. That's what happened.
Christmas Hammonds that we pop Christmas.
My dad gives me a Christmas ham every year.
That's the highlight of my Christmas.
That's the one gift I look for. Ice, soft bread, real butter and
warm ham. I think you fall asleep loads
during the day with your hands like across your belly just like
head down. I really, and it's a wonderful
life just. And you just lift your leg every
once in a while for we pardon me Christmas have on pissed, do
you? Have a wee Christmas movie you
watch every year? We love the new Grinch.
You know the illumination Grinch, Illuminati Grinch with
our. Grinches like I'm a Christian.
He actually did turn around in the end, you know?
Yeah. But yeah, but he didn't put out
like a statement. The Grinch doesn't have anyone.
I don't remember these events, but I believe them and.
I love God the G man, but I love to watch them.
Too. Yeah, he's at my house with 30
balls there. My kids were asleep.
But yeah, love for grades, love Home Alone.
I've already seen Home Alone a lot this year because Matilda's
at the age now where she's end of the pranks and like 4 is
probably a bit young to actually want to set someone's head on
fire. Yeah, you know, but she loves
it. She's like kind of no.
You look like both the bad guys in Home Alone combined.
I do know. The.
Fuck. Is that home alone?
Is that the better job? Is that job possession?
Joe Pesci gets possessed. You look like a wee mafia guy
called Joe. Possessy Possessy sounds like a
lap that's including. Come down the possessions.
But Willie, do you get up late on Christmas Day?
I will. Get up around a hard one or two.
No. I get up with a hard on.
All right, Yeah. What?
Half the day's gone. I'm allowed to have the
Christmas I want, OK? You definitely say that, the
nanny, Sheila, all angry. Oh yeah, they'll wake me up.
The open presents. I'm fucking livid.
Oh, we'll catch you a jumper. Let me sleep.
I'm fucking dying. I'm so hungover.
I want left alone. This sounds callous, by the way.
I'm just not a big Christmas guy.
Have a Christmas dinner at. I will pick at it and then I'll
go to bed again. And you fucking ruin it for
everyone else. You're in the Olympic Christmas.
No idea. I'm really Christmas Eve.
I'm all for it. I'm boxing, I'm all for it.
Christmas Day I'm dying and I just want left alone, right?
And then I'll properly wake up around six or seven, head around
to my mate's house, get back all our Christmas.
Day. Yeah.
Is there any gifts you want this year in particular?
No, I'm not. I'm more of a more of a giver
than a receiver. I I love giving presents to
people. I don't.
But you like receiving too though, right?
Only we things. I'm not a big receiver, yeah,
but I I would prefer to give presents.
Like I've heard you receive more than O'rell Beckham, junior wide
receiver, NFL player. He's receiver.
Yeah, don't. Know don't know that it like.
Look, we're in it, yeah, and there's nothing we can do.
Yeah, no, I don't love getting presents, but I'm I'm a big
present giver. But you're not a real into
anything kind of guy. You don't like birthdays?
Yeah, Christmas. What makes you happy?
Be left alone. Alone.
You are I used to be like that. I did used to love the things,
but then you know just things happen makes you isn't that.
The story of the Crinch. Man, tell the story of the
Crinch. It's hearts just too sizes too
small and mine's enlarged. Yeah, definitely.
As I'm getting older, I'm getting back into the third.
I just went through a real right.
I went through a real while of like, I just didn't like these
things. Birthdays.
I just don't like the attention though.
Well, you know what? We'll have a good time at our
Christmas party. Oh yes, a lot of fun.
I do. I do like Christmas more now,
but Christmas Day wee man's been drinking.
Give me my chocolates, leave me A room.
What I want to know is like what is your go to recoveries for a
hangover? Say you're really dying.
What's the the must have necessity frozen?
Fanta. Like from the the fucking
cinema. Yep Yep.
But my local spar doesn't too, so they're.
Great, all man's going the omniplex with the Hangover.
What are you here to say? Nothing.
Yeah, I'm just here for the sweeties.
Pickle X, then a freezing cold shower.
She like you're like Mr Freezer hungover.
You like the frozen? Yeah, some people say
masturbation is good for a hangover, some people say.
Who? There's a clip.
That's the newest thing at the start instead of most divisions.
Good for a hangover. Some people I've heard it be
said. It takes me too long when I'm
home over. It's a shift when I'm home over
like. How long we're talking?
About two or three hours. No.
All right, Sting Jesus Christ to finish.
My well, it looks like. Yeah, it's.
Like Randy Macho Man Savage by the time I'm done.
Oh yeah, cream of the crap. That's fine.
That takes me. I just.
You just not have like a wee bit of a Sammy macro and you wake
up. Oh, no, no, no, no.
I may as well be on a boat. I'm full must.
You can role play with yourself. Well hello Mr Penis, what are
you doing? So what?
Role Am I playing merry? Christmas, Mr Penis.
You're all that boy. What day is it Joe possess?
You owe us money. You gotta.
Pay. I'll beat you, Tiny Tim.
This game is called. I'm convinced you've never seen
Christmas Carol because none of those lines are said.
Ah, Scrooge. What one Scrooge.
Molly, me boy. Yeah, Molly, you're dead.
Who? Rub it up, dub.
You definitely rub the end. Oh yeah, of course you guys do
that. Gives up for like fat boy slim.
What was that you were doing, Frankie Dettori?
Oh, you're doing nothing. There's no way you wake up at
half mast anymore. No, I don't.
I'm just dead. I'm just dead all the time.
Yeah, but that's the thing. About your willies.
Just like a weed dog. It's too old, Yeah.
Yeah. It's.
Just just. Blind and all you don't know
when your mates how the dog is like 18 he's like come on in.
We manage no teeth that's. Exactly what my willies like.
My wife goes to me. Come on.
And we man. Oh if I must.
Come on, skip it. You're Willy's like an old
detective for one more case. He's like, oh shit, here we go.
One last always one last ride, you tell.
Columbo. You're Willy always just wants
to go to the beach in Hawaii. He's like, after this ride we're
going to be shack in Hawaii and going to fish all collapse.
So good. Anyway, Christmas.
Are you thinking of war detectors?
Trying to work with Hawaii 5 O what Tony Sherlock Holmes.
Very good. Sherlock.
Bones. I was gonna go 1 murder she
throat. Works, Yeah, nice burger sack
now. What about?
Oh right, this called family
Quiznite port. That's like.
You're on. The Christmas party talks about
his wanking for half an hour and he goes.
I was shagging her red raw anyway.
Where's that clue? To what?
Uncle Shane's coming right on though.
Has he been on the Lager Mummy? Yes, right.
He's not allowed to see his wife at Christmas, so you know what
he gets like. Let's see here, there's loads of
different. Colours.
I just want you to put out my glasses there.
Let's have a look here. Let's.
Have a look see oh. God.
Do you get that? Do you play board games at
Christmas with your farm? Yeah, no, I just fight with.
Them the leader of Bailey's time.
You wake them all up. Yeah.
You want to earn them presents. That's what I did, Everything.
I used to go round to my mate's house on Christmas night and
play fighters. Dad was classic.
Yeah, we used to go round of a great time.
Classic Dad. But he he always get off his
gargle and his mommy then makes this stuff and biscuits.
Great. Time blocked.
Oh. Absolutely garden and then I
remember one year's Dad goes. To Christmas.
There's one caveat. Goggling.
Suck my dad. A monopoly and you're like you.
Only 2:50 but you can pay me another.
One year's dad bought this coat that his mom didn't like.
It was too big from his dad's probably Dennis's size and he
goes all night. He was blocked.
He kept trying to get me to take this trench coat and I
eventually took the trench coat, but it was like a long trench
coat, but because the arms were like for a small, it was like up
to me. I look like someone like fucking
Creola developments or in his coat and it was a lot.
I have a Mordor somewhere should.
Have brought it in. For, you know, great times.
Right. I'm going to go first here.
What's the rules? I think it's what's.
The rules. Drag queen.
I think it's pretty straightforward.
I don't. Know explaining for a listener.
I'm going to be purple. Of course, that's right.
That's one of the rules, OK. I'll be like my penis blue.
Right and well, he's yellow like his belly.
Oh, see, if we were in the 1800s Wild West, that'd be savage for
me. Right, I'm going to roll first.
By the way, sorry, what are the rules and what's this game?
Straightforward, roll the dice the these are different quiz
topics and then you get whatever it is one.
So there's two questions on each card you want to ask the one
without multiple choice. OK.
Oh God. Oh sweet.
Thank you for that gambit. Hello.
Gambit, don't you? Thought you played group Gambit?
Gambit. Oh, very good.
What's the subject? Sorry.
The subject is television. Oh, he'll know this nerd.
Shame. Who is Dora the Explorer's
cousin? Is it multiple choice?
No, it is, but I'm not that. I'm not reading them out.
Is it multiple? Choice.
No, we're not doing multiple choice.
No idea. Diego.
Never got, never seen the. Show go, Diego.
Go. What does he do, Diego?
The what? He he looks after animals.
Not. Right.
Well, you wrote, yeah. Willy Rd Willy.
Not OK 3 short guy movie. Yeah.
Are you? Can you be the mover?
Exciting. Scared to touch?
3 Geography, Yeah, for Willie. T send me.
The quite away on the flight back from Dubai, this guy was
playing Trivial Pursuit and having an absolute stink.
How did you were looking at the time?
I think bad game. Your head was gone.
Oh, I got a few. Do you remember a game we played
in the plane? What was it was like?
Was it the like the? Pinpoint.
Closer to the city, Great time. Ask the one without multiple
choice. All right, Yeah.
Saint Mary's, Tresco, Saint Martin's, Saint Dagnas and
Breifer are the principal islands of which archipelago
The. Caribbean.
No, David, no. The Galapagos.
The Ides of Sicily. Oh wow, there you go.
David. Yes, please, Daddy.
Stupid question. The other one I think you would
have got what is the most populous Muslim country?
You wouldn't get it. America.
Sri Lanka. Indonesia.
Oh, David. What?
Did you get one right? Do you move forward?
You get another goal if you get it.
Right. Yeah, another goal I have.
Another goal. DVTV.
Yeah, play arts. Do whatever, man.
The first episode of Don't Now Be is set on the same day as
which historical event? I know this one.
Fucking 9. 11. But if this one summers be,
there appears to be a second playing.
They weren't Christian anyway. I do believe it was an inside
job, my Lord. The.
Bush is doing fuck all. The gunpowder.
Plot the Gunpowder Plot. You know, I love Down to
Another. Guy Fawkes just rocks and.
Really, what was the answer? Is it the end of World War One?
Sinking of the Titanic. Ah, same shit, different than.
It was a weird week that World War 1 ended but the boat went
down South. 2. Geography Geography Which is the
most southerly of the US states. Oh fuck.
Florida. Wrong.
So why it's? A trick question.
Question. Oh wow, well he don't banger, he
hate. Now what?
Are you doing leave the cards while it's ground?
Sleeve, it's all good. Right, OK, here we go 3.
Tony, will you be like the showrunner if we need help?
OK, 22 music. Oh yes.
Makes the people. Come together, Ask me a fucking
question. Right.
Yeah, this will be the first one to get right, according to the
Katie Medio single from 2005. How many bicycles were in
Beijing? I was going to be closest thing
to crazy Umm. If you get this right, that is.
5009 thousand. He's got to be one.
Come on, Five. 100. 9 million. There are. 500 There are 9
million bicycles in Beijing. That's a fan. 9,000,001 after
your DAS or your BMX bro. David, you're all.
Fucks sake, can't believe I got that wrong.
No one's got one right. You're very.
We might have to go multiple choices.
See it one please. What can you move me along?
Movies. Fingers.
Let's all go to the movies. Come on, David, in the Marvel
Cinematic Universe, you'll get this, you nerd who plays the
character Jane Foster. You must know this.
You must. By the way, it's Christmas Day
in the boys head. Scarlett Johansson.
It's Carrie Katona. No.
Can I say yeah, it's not the important correct?
I've met her before. Lovely woman.
Oh, you don't even know she plays fucking Jane Foster.
Have you met Natalie Portman? She.
Went to the gym I was working at the time.
Yeah. And by the way, I can give a
really my her slag. Excuse me, David, don't say
that. OK, that was her name, yeah.
Her name's Hirschlag. Nollie Hirschlag, yeah.
Oh, right. I thought it was Hirschlag
Portman. I was like, that's a really
weird. 123 Potluck for the potluck.
Potluck. I drowned as it was him.
But lock, I'm having an awful time here.
OK, OK. Fausty, something we fit here,
but sorry, I'm sorry. And a bro, are you?
Drinking them. Had a Roald Dahl story.
What is the name of the boy who creates a marvellous medicine?
Fuck, I know it's. Not Bell calls.
Me for you to. Is that the book?
It's. A Roald Dahl called marvellous
medicine. It's the person's marvellous,
marvellous, the medicine. It's got to begin with them.
Doesn't it? Don't a clue.
Don't get to a different letter. Don't.
No shut up. Do you not read to your boys?
What? Sort of that, are you?
Don't read Roald Dahl, man, because it's not the Second
World War. Let's go see this stuff was not
the 70s but go off King. Yeah, I'm.
Talking about the second time there's been a war.
Which is in the 1940s. Yeah, but the second time
there's been a World War in the last 10 years.
There hasn't been a World War in the last 10 years.
Wake up sector. Hector's marvellous.
Man, it's. Fucking George.
Oh George. George.
Roll down who write the story about a wee Mexican boy he
ignores marvellous mediating. A snake oil.
Oh, it takes on my meditating hombre.
People, people. Wow people.
I hear people. Oh man, do you need to be hugged
to you? Don't.
Fucking touch. Me.
Well, here we go. Right?
First, right answer, right. Who was the idiot in the travel
comedy series An Idiot Abroad? Oh.
Carl Penkinton, No. Technically, that's not right.
He was the. Idiot called Pokington.
Why he's speaking with an Asian? Accent.
What am I? That's his name called Poking.
It's not his name. I have in front of me, what's
his name, Last Chance. Who was the idiot?
The travel comedy series and Idiot Abroad it.
Was called poking. You.
Got all right at the last pelkington.
That's what I've. Been saying when you watch this
back that's. What I've been saying, bullshit
is going on. Y'all.
Trapping. What?
By the way, the question above, it was a wrestling 1.
So it was. Like what?
Was it just just for funsies? Former wrestler Mark William
Calloway is. Better.
Than. Undertaker.
Fuck this shit. I'm digger.
Easy. Not even thinking about it under
Digger. Do I have an actual question
please? The Undertaker, just like this
quiz is dead man dork. What do the Argentinians call
the Falkland Islands? The answer is Mars.
Umm. Never forget.
This. Last small Venus.
Last, no Venus. My lost my Venus.
Lost. My Venus music, can you move his
only fingers? Thank you.
Music for Dave Alley. Jesus, what?
That was funny. Sing me a song, David.
Oh, Dave, congratulations on your first right answer.
OK TI and Pharrell Williams teamed up with Which American
singer to release Blurred Lines in 23rd Blurred Lines.
Robin fake. Robin.
Did you get? Another go.
I know you want it. I know you want it.
But you are. Comatose and then my wife left
me. Oh, science and nature single
Word science. Got a date funk.
Nice science, boys. How many natural naturally
occur? In Noble.
How many naturally occur in noble gases?
Are there 12? Very funny.
Sex, helium, neon, argon, Krypton, xenon and radon.
Aragon planets and Superman. Aragon we got from Lord of the
Rings popped up. That.
I no. Oh fuck.
The double word science got a double leg.
Last, According to him. Oh no.
Yeah, leg last, what you think those we break?
So it's not the ones with the clues.
OK, which chemical elements used to be known as brimstone?
No point in actually doing thinking face you don't know.
Fire and brimstone fire and fire.
Brimstone. Fire and brimstone on my
tombstone. Got to go home soon thinking
about the ozone car painting toll bromine.
It's all for SO. Far so bad.
Who knew the right answer to that, Willie?
No, you didn't. Yeah, that, yeah, I did.
I knew the right answer, obviously.
Why is this not a wrestling question?
Yeah, I knew the right answer. Well Kane would also bring fire
and brimstone so it would have worked.
But also volcanoes have a high amount of sulphur.
That's what will kill you before you fall into the volcano.
Yeah, OK. Move ME3 please.
Oh, we're only purple mate. Potluck.
Oh, I'd love a pot roast. As a star.
In the novel 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, who captained the
Nautilus? Roy King.
I know it. Roy King.
Nemo. Captain Nemo.
That's right. David, Boy, you're up.
Captain Name was my favourite character, and ladies of
extraordinary gentlemen as well. Oh, is he actually?
Yeah, an Invisible Man. Yeah.
Do you remember Captain Famous line from League of
Extraordinary Gentlemen, as he warned there, the other
extraordinary gentlemen, they could set a bomb that would blow
Venice's foundations to rubble? Is it like why do you he's in?
1 He is an Indian man. Nemo Sundeep is his first name.
Sundeep Nemo. Yeah.
You know the. Current of my made sundeep Nemo
comes along. David, who played the lead role
of Jacqueline Kennedy in the biographical drama film Jackie.
She's a big guy. Well, did you know this?
No, because I was thinking to the TV show The Kennedys, Jodie
Comer, Katie Holmes. Natalie or slag or whatever.
She's not. Fuck.
Why is it Natalie Portman again? Natalie, you bitch.
Oh, no, free pass now. 2 TV Her last name is free past.
I don't think it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No other one. Yeah.
Oh no, I get. Come on, Cheney boy.
Which? Chinese sauce is wreck famously
obsessed with in Rick and Morty. Oh, what's that dark one?
The half. Oh, come.
On in. Teriyaki.
Oh no. No.
You say teriyaki like he's someone who's like sent their
back forever. No.
Teriyaki. Gotta get that sauce, Morty.
McDonald's had this source coming out with a Mulan movie in
the 90s. It was fucking delicious.
This is actually what's wrong. Kind of.
They never did that sauce again, Morty.
He's thinking of soy, but that's not the answer.
Because he's a little soy. Boy, sweet Jelly, sweet Jelly.
No shit, Sashuan gotta get that Sashuan sauce.
Morty 2. Two people hurting people.
What? Is this people?
Oh is it people mate? People, yeah.
Remote me. In 2018, which comedian became
the highest selling artist in the history of London's O2
Arena? Michael Jackson.
Oh, in 2018. Which game the highest selling
artist in the history of London's O2 Arena?
Who sold the most tickets ever in London's O?
Two, I'm going to go on a lemon, say Kevin Hart.
What would you have said? I would have.
Said I would have, Ki would have, said Peter K.
What do the boys think? Peter K wasn't on. 3rd Tony's
right. Michael McIntyre.
Ah, you bastard. Whoa, Connie Beef.
Whoa. No, no, I mean, William, what
did you call me? First time I've tried it, it's
not bad. Go.
That's my president, Willie, by the way, Michael McIntyre.
You're weirdly going Trump with it.
They're. Coming in, we need comedy.
Roger builds a wall. Sit down, lay down the bricks
and put Royal. Michael McIntyre.
That's Mark Watson. Oh, with me the first time.
Ring Dave. Which term is used for the chief
electrician or lighting technician on a film set?
Gaffer. Yes, mate, what's the answer?
A rig? No, you're right.
Gaffer Nice, yes. Get another go.
Yes. Queen.
Yes. I'm winning this by so much.
With like 3 yours with a three here brother, pick a. 4.
Hi man, you do it too. Dave, which female singer
collaborated with The Drum and BSU Sigma on the 2014 track
Changing? You know, Yeah.
Cher, Lloyd. Everything's changing.
It's Jesselyn. Nope, Paloma Faith.
Ah shit, the song. It's really not.
Feeling good about getting the right answer.
Hashtag feeling good there brother. 2 Geography.
Geography. Oh no, this is going to be an
interesting. Which is the largest country in
the EU in terms of area, not population.
Just sheer fucking. Can I ask a question before I
answer? No, Yeah.
Is Russia in the EU? I'm not telling you.
Oh. Hold on.
And the size of. Iran, you know, you're like,
you're like your manager, the millionaire, yeah.
Slump, oh Charles Ingram. I was.
Like a slump dog millionaire. And I was like, he's nothing
like that. Donald Slump.
Michael McIntyre back again, I see.
It's going to be 1. You actually don't think?
I'll say this, it's going to be one of them European countries.
I think it might be a Scandinavian country.
Do you want? To name it.
Go on, man. I'm trying to think of a map on
my head. I'll give you a clue, you can do
it. Iceland.
France, mate. It's France mate.
Serious. Yes, it's France.
In terms of just area of the country, it's.
France. One of those days.
Right. But no, would you say?
That I wouldn't. Have thought that at all.
If you hadn't, I see. If you hadn't clarified the
Russia, I would have said Russia.
Willy movies. Do you like Willy movies?
That sounds like your dad's caught you watching porn.
He's like, put them Willy movies away.
What? Do you think about Santa for put
it this way, Smith, I don't know if you know what I mean.
You know. Will Smith, which member of the
Monty Python team played Sir Lancelot the Brave and Monty
Python on the Holy Grail? Oh, you've won four chance
again. Or depend on I.
Don't know. So I'm going to just say Eric
Idle. David Palin.
John, please. Was it?
Please bitch. Please, John, please bitch.
Please, he has a big. Ball.
I nearly said a different one there.
I'm glad I didn't play. Yeah, right 3.
I. Was like, that's chopping.
The people. Yeah, I know a lot.
Of which American actor starred as cowboy hitchhiker in the rule
movie Thelma and Louise? I see.
Just guess not. You'll get it at.
This point. You'll get that, David.
David, tell me it again. Which American actor starred as
a cowboy hitchhiker in the rule movie Thelma and Louise?
Matthew McConaughey. You know, no, I didn't know what
Brad. Pitt, OH Brad.
Pitt, so it was. He was sexy and all that too.
Brad Pitt. Let's say, well, Shane, get one.
Right feeling. Good here.
Won't you take me to Funky Town? I get this.
I don't know how many consecutive weeks did one dance
by Drake spend at the top of the UK singles truck?
That's such a hard. Question.
I know, but it's only because it's a load of weeks the longest
and there's a load of weeks it's currently the longest, something
that's at the top. 16 weeks everyone wants me to get one
right so bad that's friendship that is friendship and there's.
15 weeks. Fuck, sorry.
Sorry, but that. Well, you're up, yeah.
I need a. That's a DLA sort of for another
year. You got that one.
You'll get another one. I have got Spur back on the DLA.
DLA, OH. Shit.
That'll be one. Probably Raccoon.
Which type of sugar is found in milk?
Oh God. I did not know this was a sugar.
Calcium. No Anyone lactose.
Lactose. Yeah, lactose.
There you go. Giving Jesus.
Oh, she two please, Mr Todd. Oh, movies.
Fuck. Here we go.
Not. Only Portman just saying that we
do, yeah. Dave in The Wizard of Oz, who's
the 1st character that Dorothy meets as she begins her journey
to the Emerald City of Oz. Yes, she meets the her.
Professor. Scarecrow first.
She. Meets total. 1st 10 man.
Ten man first, Yeah. Are we deck?
Shall I? Yes, here's a wrong answer.
What? You're right.
I thank God that's. My favourite.
Movie, right? Now really.
Yeah, we're off the seed. It just off for one.
Fuck sake, What's up, Brian? Geography, OK.
Shut up. Which is the only letter that
does not feature in the name of an American state.
X Oh, come on, Dave. Nope, just say can't, Dave.
The answer is whatever I think, boys.
All right. Tony's right.
Q. Q.
Yeah, What's accent? Texas.
All right, I actually, you know what, this is going to sound
mental and nobody will believe me.
No, no, this is sort of a mental.
In my head I was saying Q but for some reason X came out.
Unfortunately we can't give you. I know things you are thinking.
I know, I know, it's fair. People.
Have you still not got one right?
No. But he's got his way around the.
Board, He's still in touch. Which star?
Which star of Made in Chelsea won I'm A Celebrity in 2017?
We watched it that year. I'll give him the point.
Georgia Tough, Tough, tough, tough.
Correct. Yeah, Georgia tough.
It's a Christmas miracle, guys. He really fancies her.
No. You over?
Yeah. Yeah, the one I fancy A.
Dog never was George a scoff a little who's?
The guy who's the GC? No, who's the guy with the long
black hair? Oh, Pete works, no?
John much? More exact like the guys like
Indonesian or something. Gandhi.
Ollie. Ollie.
Oh, yes, yeah, yeah, that is Ollie.
What's his name? So I thought you'd like the
other guy. It looks like gawk one that's.
What I'm talking about? Nobody's had all the work done.
They were. So we like just the thought.
Bobby Norris. Bobby Norris?
Yeah. I thought you like boy Norris.
I'm catching you here. I know.
Oh. Shite.
Geography on box on boys. That's a way to go to get me how
many stripes are on the US flag? Oh, easy peasy man.
Is it? Yeah.
What would you say? The answers I just need to look
at the card first. Go ahead, there's a card there.
20. 13. Why is it 13?
The original states. OK, the way it should have still
been, by the way. Hey, we historical nerd there.
Don't I like that the original states tell you please?
When does the wrestling start again?
The Undertaker. Do we have questions about some
called Steve Austin please? Music.
Oh, gross. Well, you'll get this, which was
the lead single from the soundtrack to the 2018 romantic
musical film A Star Is Born. Oh, shallow.
I'm off the. Deeper watches, I dive in.
Yeah, bitches. Oh, for sure.
Yeah, another go. Oh wow, you got you're getting
me but whimsical with the dice here guys.
Well, the die. Bit of history people in this
country could do with learning that, yeah.
Yeah, 1. Have you went the wrong way,
Shin? Yeah, but that's OK because
you're on music and you've gone once.
You know the potluck. You can fuck right off because I
was on science and nature. You were.
No, you weren't. You were on music.
Your question was about music. How have I You went one, right?
No. How have I went from being here
getting 4 and now I'm one ahead of where I should have?
Been should be one or two. No, I should be 4 ahead of
there. There no.
No. There, I'll go.
There I'm being, I'm being dumb, but I'm still winning big.
Fucking proper state. Shop you've dropped your mobile
phone there and if I anyone could told that.
Willie, who is credited with event in the first television as
we know it. Oh, Tommy Television.
It's Michael Television. No, it's normally I know this.
By box. Alexander Green, Bill.
It's telephone. Coming, coming, baby.
It's Michael. Michael Toshiba.
Oh, Michael Toshiba. No it.
Wasn't. John, Logie.
Baird, David. Cocker.
What are we going to do with this television screen?
You guys look like Yogi Baron as we meet.
Yeah, we Willy Boo Boo. Popper.
Yogi. Papa, relax.
Oh my assholes feeling pretty well.
David history, first history question.
Why does he speak like that, David?
Davy, Which British king was known as the Merry Monarch?
Oh fucking it's not on real away.
So let me think Richard the Second.
Fuck sake. Charles the Second.
All close. Sorry, I would have moved that
over. I hit them all music.
Yep. Somehow I'm not doing awful
despite getting one question right.
Divinely Uninspired to a Hellish Extent is the Debbie album by
which Scottish singer-songwriter Divinely Uninspired to a Hellish
Extent. I tell you it's not she need a
car it. Could be like she's not.
It could. Be Paulo it.
Could be Paulo. Divinely uninspired.
To a hellish extent. Right.
I don't think it's Paul and Attainy.
OK Guild, can you tell me who you think it is?
Busted out here. I'm so cheeky today and I love
it. Happy Christmas.
Do you say you sing, Carl? I'm on my way from what I want
from this world, I'm on my way. Make it to the next.
World. Say the name of it again.
Divinely, I'm inspired to a hellish extent.
Uh huh. Marty Pillow.
Big black KT tonsil. Big Black Kid, she on the album
came here. Big Black Kid is a fucking.
Big Black Horse in the Cherry Tree.
And then I was like, who sings too fast?
Big black Kitty tonsil. No, it was little Chinese Lewis
Capaldi. In my head, it was like, in my
head it was going to ever say the first lyric, I'll get it.
Then I got it too quick. Yeah, first lyric.
I love that song. Big Black by Kitty.
Mother of goodness. 3 Geography. Oh, big black.
Well, they which is the smallest country, which is the smallest
country in the EU in terms of area?
Oh, I got the reverse of your question.
Lechenstein. Luxembourg.
Samarino. Vatican.
No. Pandora.
No Can't. Alonia.
No, can't. Do you know what it is?
I think so. Say it, then.
Moldova. Moldova.
Malta. Oh, my mistake.
When you attack your back you literally went big black.
So much confidence. Oh, Davy.
Bastard what? Music.
Jordan for our bastard one. Davy rapper Michael Ebenezer,
Quadio Omari Oyo Junior is better known.
Say his name again. Please only make me do it once,
OK? Michael Ebenezer, Quadro Omari
Oyo Junior is better known as WHO?
Omarion. Fuse ODG.
Anyone BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM.
What's his first name? Tony's got everything right so
far, Michael. Michael Ebenezer and then adjust
fucking goes nuts. Shut up.
Michael Ebenezer No, Shane. Wrong you go.
Right at Science and Nature. Yeah.
Come on. Michael Ebenezer, he's a good.
He's a good. He's Michael Ebenezer.
Good, junior, Good. After Prince Charles and
William, here's next in line to the British throne.
Storms. After Prince Charles and
William. Yep, Harry.
Prince George William, son. Boy, you cry.
He loves the monarchs so much, he's got it.
Just like one day, one day when you won't be around.
Give a Harry to the end of the season.
Oh, Oh dear. Give some old good thing, noble
king. Hasn't been as good since, well,
you know, has it one. It's a bad season.
Queens. History.
Here's some history for you. 2 World Wars, 1 World Cup.
World War One German fighter pilot.
World. War One German fighter pilot,
Manfred Ron wrecked often was known by which nickname?
The red barn. Correct.
Nice. Nice.
You know your pilots. He knows the market.
He knows the World War. 1. Monarchy, Monarchy.
Music. Makes the people.
The Car When You Wish Upon A Star is a song from which Disney
film? Oh, Pinocchio.
Pinocchio. When you wish upon a. 3/3.
Black Katie Cut to Katy tells the big black Woman.
He's a black cunt, yeah. In which country was Sandy Toss
big born? Oh, Berlin I.
Wouldn't have got this. Russia.
Sweden. Denmark.
Denmark, she looks like.
She looks like oh. Andrea Shavon, 2 for David
Sassen. Nature.
Davy rhino horns are made-up of which substance?
Oh, fucking smeared out of the same stuff as nails are, but I
don't know what that's called. I'll say ivory even though it's
Tusk. Keratin, Keratin.
Shake. Big Tusk machine.
TV. You know, TV transvestites.
And which TV series might you encounter The Soup Dragon?
Oh. I'm their own podcast here
again. Soup Dragon The Soup Dragon.
The soup dragon is I think the. I think the ninky knocks are in
this. Oh, you're walking a fine line
tonight. Is it in the in?
Is it in the night garden? It's not in the night garden,
it's you wouldn't want to be kicked in them.
Not. The ball.
Not swelling the nuts. The TV.
Show. The Clangers.
Toxic. Daddy's getting angry.
Let's give him one. Keep him off the Brandy.
Oh no, your father's been drinking again.
Got your room? Three, you've won.
Don't forget it, right? Yeah, this is a real I've
instilled upon myself. I'll go potluck, yeah.
Harry Potluck. William in which family of
musical instruments does a saxophone belong?
Brass. Woodwind also dance flex on you.
There's dads like a musician guy.
No, I just want this to be a. Fucking Desi Gillespie in the
corner. I don't know what the saxophone
is in. What a kid, Gillespie.
The wrong thing. Woodwind Davey, we have a chance
here. We have to go on a roll here and
I'll throw a one because it's all I've thrown.
All day. People for Davy.
Let's go. In which comedian played the
role of the inventor Archie in the children's TV series
Balamory? I know this Katie Tunstall.
Comedian. Yep.
Come on, David. Is it?
What? I didn't give you the answer.
How crap. That's my joke.
It's my joke, yeah. I'm so Dick dastardly.
Right. You got a dastardly Dick.
It's just thank you. Stinking WAP.
It's Christmas, stop it. And what year did Andy again?
Independence from British rule. Mongolia.
That's the wrong question. 19. 4.
No, it's not. Yeah, 1940, if I get this like.
Yeah, he another go. 1949. 19. 90 we're going to.
Take him over 1948. 19. 40. 7. I am.
You a bastard. Pot locked me, you whore.
Oh yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, so welly in the Mr Men
books. What colour is Mr Nosy?
Get your socks, man. That's.
Right, he's yellow. Nope, you are.
But he's not green. Oh.
Shit, he'd never say that. Yes, we're on a row.
We're on a title charge. Come on, do.
You want a turbo boost this this running.
Yeah. Just next question wins.
No, no, no, no. I've played better than everyone
else. I deserve the win.
Dave, what is the only location on a monopoly board that is
South of the River Thames? I wouldn't want that.
I don't. Want to?
Burp is not the right answer. I.
Have no chill. No, I'm going to take my host to
the old Kent Rd. Old Kent Rd, I didn't even got
to collect if I go pesco. Oh shit.
Come on, Sheen. Come on, Sheen.
I do not want me to win that. No, I just I wanted to be more
exciting for. And what year was the first
PlayStation console released? 19 90 I'm.
Not enjoying whatever this is your.
Favourite number worth if you're a footballer.
Shut up. Don't get them away. 1999. 1994.
You know the whole new failure. Well, he which Chapel in Windsor
Castle has been the venue for many royal weddings.
Oh, I don't. For the Queen, the Mary of the.
Queen Canterbury. Saint George's Chapel.
Oh, you. Silly little Tom boys.
Oh. We're on a.
Charge too. Music, mate.
Who invented the violin? David, who is who's the
guitarist of the Foo Fighters, formed in 1994.
Dave Girl. No.
Guitarist. Oh, fucking Pat Smear.
Did anybody know? He fucking is.
No, or must be the other guitarist in the band.
Did anyone know this? Must be the original.
One Kurt Cobain. No.
Hidden North a so sly Willie potluck.
Potluck Willy potlucks, you're good.
You know how games Wacky didn't? Twat.
He's coming. He's coming hard.
Oh, let's go. Oh bro.
What is the name of Phineas and Ferbs Pet platypus?
What? What is the name of Phineas and
Ferbs pet platypus? So I could have gave him that
one which he would have got fried, but I did not because I'm
a little stinker. Buddy.
Close. Perry, curse your Perry the
Platypus. See you.
Yeah, he's Potlucker. Oh yeah.
Potluck, Shane. Potluck.
How many players are there in a Quidditch team?
Oh, you should know as Dorcas. There's a there's a keeper, a
sweeper, a beater, a Seeker 6. Alright, B Robert 70.
Come on. Come on Davey, I'll be 1.
Let's go science. Fuck me.
Science and nature. Fuck me, science Dave.
What is the study? Of birds, eggs, nests and
breathing behaviour called Ornithology.
Close Eulogy. OOLOGY.
Yeah, theology. They're fucking me this day. 3.
Oh, pot Locket. Oh no.
This is incredible. Just be two years in a row.
Oh. No, he's nervous.
He's lost his marbles. Which famous cocktail was
developed at the Raffles Hotel in Singapore?
He's losing the shit. I think he gets it.
Right. There's one I'm thinking of in
my head, but I don't know if just if just and I don't know if
just and. Part of me is thinking Mai Tai.
Google Mai Tai. No chunk.
Just name drinks. Chunky Geisha.
Chunky geisha is your answer. Yeah, it's called the Singapore
slang potluck. Me.
Put your little arms away, David.
In which sport would you perform a camel spin?
There was a camel toe here. Be all over.
Ice skating. No.
Anyone know? The horse thing.
No camel spin. No, but that's the thing, no.
I rested it pommel horse that's. It David, Yeah.
Yeah, but you also get, I could have meant show jump.
There's your size. You just like the horse thing.
30 It's close. Let's get me.
Around to movies? Come on guys.
David, what is the name of the jovial chimney sweep and Mary
Poppins? I know it's Dick Van Dyke, but
don't know his bucking character name.
Bobby Bobbins. Bert.
Oh, just Bert.
Yeah. Bert the Sweet.
Right me potluck. Yep, yeah.
Nice to meet you potluck. I'm me when you.
Yeah. The me to read it for.
Him for a bit of. Luck this time.
And the adventures of 10/10. What is the name of 10 tens dog?
Ah. Fuck, I know.
This he is 10/10. He should know. 1010 looking
bitch. Little Belgian boy Belgian, your
little adventures were your dog. 1010 and oh fuck.
That's wrong. Yeah, Waffle. 10/10.
Waffle. No Snowy 8 times.
When I like to eat, drug guys don't.
Know well like potluck. Potluck the close out the
episode. What is the best selling flavour
of Walker's Crisps Booty. See those Gary Lennicker ads?
Cheesing on you? Something that.
It was between those two in my head. 33 pot Locket for David.
We're home. Davy, in the children's nursery
rhyme of the same name, who killed Cock Robin?
Who strangled Cock Robin and finished him.
Dave who finished off Cock Robin.
It's got to be pussy something, doesn't it?
Pussy Galore, Pussy Wilson Sparrow.
He's a deep, big pussy. Willy.
No, it's me. Yeah, Oh, no, it's.
Just a kid has a chance again. If you were, if you were served
squab in a restaurant, what would you be eating?
Squab. Squab, squaw, squaw.
I'll give you a clue. Fish.
You. Know when you're going down the
street and throw some brother. The pigeon man.
Willie, how old do you have to be to stand for U.S.
President? Oh, 69. 4535.
Oh fuck. David.
Can I say? Thank you very much for
watching, Thank you for all the support throughout the year, for
the TV podcast, the live events, everything like that.
We will close on whoever gets this right.
Dave to. Help.
You're looking at it. What colour are the seats in the
House of Commons, Willie? You know this.
Yeah. Yeah, I.
Can't believe I've done it green.
They're deck purple. They are green.
Nope. What colour are?
The red. What the fuck?
Nice to keep doing what we're doing.
Oh right, I thought he said clothes on.
He gets it right, so I know that.
Stupid. Bastard.
Me, yeah. Let's make it exciting.
I'm getting real nervous now. Which is the only domesticated
animal not mentioned in the Bible.
I know that you told them because I saw you looking
overtails all. My night.
Swear, swear your family. Swear wasn't No, I didn't,
because I didn't. Know that?
Has a kid done that? No, because it's part.
Well, like you a little bitch. Fairpoint.
That was cut. It's cut.
Yeah, I know you cheated, Daniel.
Well. Christmas is all by giving.
Hold on. Christmas is all by giving.
And others. Is that right?
And good gestures, and gestures
are goodwill. There's a gesture.
There's I. Didn't win that quiz.
What do you mean the seats are green?
Well done. That's.
What it was? Well done dear Elliot, well done
my friend and happy Christmas to you both and all the zippers out
there let. Me just go back.
He was like, I need their rest. For a time, they were.
No, no, no, no. And folks, thank you very much.
Happy Christmas free Luigi Magno.
Thank you to Dave. Here one more time, say Carl
Pelking. Carl Pelkington.
Happy Christmas Free my boy Luigi.