Hello Sippers, and welcome to this week's episode.
This start of the week's live episodes of the Tea With Me
podcast here coming with you all week from 11 ideally hopefully
to 1:00 through the rest of the week.
Unfortunately, if you're tuned in expecting there to be a
Nosferatu looking guy with hair, she and Todd is not here.
He has had something happen that he just had to go and deal with
and I respect that. So I fill in in last minute and
if anyone's capable to fill she and Todd's hole, says Guy.
So welcome to the podcast on today.
What is the 80th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz.
So whatever you're doing in the world, whatever happens to you,
remember the bad times and remember to love your fellow
human beings. Speaking of fellow human beings
that I love, I'm here with a man that's always coming at you with
good intentions and honourable soul.
What's your silly be saying? Capacity and good treatment of
fellow man. Yeah, that part.
It's Andrew Ryan. Hello.
There he is. He's here.
He's on the podcast. He's in Andrew.
You're looking. You're looking a wee bit.
Tired. You OK?
I'm very tired today. I'm not feeling I've I was.
I slept in for radio this morning.
I've still made it on time but I didn't get up for my regular
shower. And you, you strike me as the
kind of guy who if there's a slight discrepancy in your
routine, yeah, it all goes to shit.
Yeah, clothes are laid out from the night before.
Shoes are by the door, laces open, ready to slide in.
There is no stone left unturned. Keys are in the door as well,
ready to go. Car is turned around in a way so
I can get a clean getaway out the out the out the house.
But this morning I slept in through three alarms and I woke
up 11 minutes later than I normally would.
So I had to change my routine this morning and just get out of
the house. But I've made it in time, so it
was all that. Routine is less of a radio
presenter and more of a spy. Yeah, well, I've.
Got set it ready to leave in case you get scooped at any.
I was watching the night agent last night.
So the night agent, the night agent, OK, what's that about?
But a American like guy, he's like an agent.
Like a comedy agent or. You're like protecting the
president in America. It's fictional, obviously.
And it is that would encourage you to do the setup that you're.
Oh, but like I try to maximise the sleep like this is a very
exciting, like maximise my sleep, you know, because I don't
go to sleep till half 10. Oh wow, and that's not a usual
night. Like half 10s your usual go to
bedtime. Yeah, well, I got a cat.
No. Oh.
No. So the cats trying to train in
the cat to leave me alone after a certain time.
Try to like and the cat. This has been a wee bit of a
bone of contention initially because you didn't give your
blessing pre cut that you came home and the cat.
Was there? And how did you born?
Have you spawned? Yeah, we get on pretty well.
They don't do much like. No.
They're very independent, wouldn't be much crack out of it
like. No.
Follows me around a little bit. Now it's a bit bit full on, but
like, you know, you kind of go to the toilet and you'd be
looking at you and you're like, all right, man, you know, I
mean, there's no need for you to.
I imagine you to be more of a cat person than a dog person,
no? I wouldn't be an animal, but guy
you know at all. Like I liked them but I wouldn't
keep them. Like I have one no like but I
wouldn't be actively looking for them like.
I actively trying to get rid of this cutters and.
No, but like it's fine, I don't have to walk it so.
Can you give it a name? I feel like it's very famous.
Finbar. Finbar, Yeah, Finbar, Ryan is.
In bar Ryan, the cash. Is that it's full name for the.
Ryan the Cat the 1st good looking cat like yeah, yeah, we
let the cat out known Lords water cats started coming to our
house. No, I think my cat.
No, I think he's he's probably in up a few other cats like.
Is it a dude cat? Always proper dude.
Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's proper legend.
And as he could, do you let him out at night or is he house cat?
He's bought. We let him in and out.
Like he goes out and then he comes in when he said then he
wants to get out. Oh shit, Ragnarok and is he?
Is he, is he like Megan, his mates round as he does the other
cats they bring around? Do they fight?
Because that's something I, I didn't know what a cat fighting
sounded like until I thought there was a genuine child being
murdered in my street. Yeah, I looked out.
There's 2 cats in the fence and I thought, oh, Gee, that's
absolutely terrifying. Yeah.
No, they doesn't fight. No, like, but I think he's
laying a scent down around the house so the other cats know
that that's his patch, like, you know.
How do they this is just with pay.
They pay piss in your. House I don't know what the
animals do like I don't know the the feeling world.
Do you see when you look at it? Because I imagine you'd be a bit
of an animal sociopath. I can't see you haven't much in
the way of affection with a cat. I know I do.
I do like to cat You stroke it, I stroke it.
I give a cat about a cat catnip. I give a catnip.
I've got a I've got a scratch post for he loves to scratch
post. Sometimes he jumps up and lays
in my chest. Consent.
Do you have consent for that? Or yeah, yeah.
And then he obviously loves Julie.
Julie's her mom, Julie's his mom.
So it was Julie's cat though. Julie's had the cat 5-6 years
and. Where was this all the time?
Was. In Julie's house and then when
Julie. Moved on, Julie's been left with
you for how long? Couple of years.
The fan bars just been keeping up the house by himself.
No, he's been living with Julie's parents.
All right. We took Julie, we don't took the
cat back off the parents. So they know.
They knew, yet we're delighted to get rid of the cat.
It's A and now she brought the cat off to our house and I was
away doing gigs in England and I came back and when I came in the
door she just said something to tell you, this cat hair, I was
totally fine with it really like.
Had you met him before? The cat.
Yeah, I'd seen this. Began become acquainted.
I wasn't overly interested in it because it wasn't me cat then me
cat. No luck.
Yeah, because I inherited a dog before, which was a strange kind
of interaction period. Catherine had a daughter, Shih
Tzu, called Charlie. I didn't like him off the bat.
Like off the bat. Me and him were not friends.
Yeah, I went around his house and initially, to be fair, she
probably hit me saying this, that he.
I thought that she was a bit stinking.
I thought her house stank. All up with the dog.
But that's that's what I thought.
But it was the dog, I think. Oh thank God.
I thought maybe she was just a stinker the first time I went
around him. I guess can't this will not work
because she is gross. But it was him.
And then, like, initially he would just sit and stare at me
and I didn't like a cut of them because, you know, we Shih tzus,
are we, we poncey we things with her curtains and on.
Are we just looking at me with a stupid wee face?
Yeah. Fuck.
Are you looking at, you smelly bastard?
Yeah, yeah, you know. And then she I felt bad for him
because she'd go to work and just leave him out the back and
sometimes it rained and he he doesn't like his.
We can also. I was like, bring him, bring him
around in my house when you're in night shift.
So she'd bring him around. And the first time I had him in
the house, I sat in the sofa and he just sat in the end of the
sofa just looking at me. And I was like, you can't do
this to me in my own house, man. Like there's got to be
boundaries here. But did he?
Did he become friendly to you? It took a bit of time.
That first night I brought him out into the back garden to do
pee and he just stood in the garden still stare at me and I
was like. Sauce in the Oatman.
Yeah, but then he went what he did.
Well, this is how you know he's a piece of shit move he did.
He stood in the garden looking at me.
I brought him in the house and he pissed my kitchen floor.
So he waited. He just stood me.
I'll show you who's what's up. Brought him the floor, pissed
everywhere. And then she went back in the
sofa with we trailer. Well, that's why they do.
Probably trying to see how you react to that.
Yeah, pissed on him. How do you like that brother?
And then when he goes, when he went to bed that night, I said,
said her bring me bed for him. She's like, listen, he likes to
sleep in in the bed or on the bottom of the bed.
And I said no, no, there's boundaries.
Not in my house. Put him in the bed, the bottom
of my bed. And I woke up in the middle of
night. He's head but me.
He jumped up in the bed and he's head but me.
I was like, what the fuck are you doing?
And then when I moved, they're like, get out of the way.
A bit of cover opened up and like he just shot right
underneath and then that was that was it.
You still have a dog. He's dead, mate.
Yeah, he died. I I inherited him.
How did he die? I adopted my kid like I killed
him. No, he bet one of the kids he
got he got too old. Now I had him for about 3 or 4
years and we were close. We were boys like you know,
albeit it was initially a wee bit embarrassing.
A guy of my physical appearance. You look like you should have a
bulldog. Yeah, I, I, I looked a little
bit weird. Or a German Shepherd like.
But but he was he was weary dog to walk.
But I yeah, I liked him. We bonded but got this stage.
He was a bit old as I started to go and I had to carry him
upstairs and stuff to. Bed at times time then.
Did you dream to the vet? Bet Holly, no, I was.
I was too, too emotional. Me and my mother-in-law do it.
She's heartless, said. How are you taking?
Your mother-in-law is heartless. That's not really just kidding,
but she'd be assorted. You'd bring her to the vet.
She'd be like, can I do it? Not really let me do it.
He died. So, yeah, I was sad and I cried
a lot, lot of tears and and I thought it'd be nice to as a as
a present for Catherine. I thought they were, they were
good presents for Julie. And you think it's going to be
really like, you think it's going to be the prep, like you
think she's going to love it, right.
And then you give it to her and she's like, yeah, I, I got
Catherine a key ring made of Charlie, not his remains or
anything on, but it was like his wee face.
But it was like a soft. So the key ring was about this
size and it was just his wee face.
And she was like, that's the weirdest thing I've ever seen.
I thought, I thought it was going to make you cry.
I thought, you're going to love it.
I thought you would say you're the most sentimental guy in the
land. She's like, I hate this present.
So you know what I did after that?
Haven't bought her a single thing since.
Well, how far and how long back was that?
Seven years. Jesus, You're still married.
Yeah. She knows what's up.
Yeah. Don't mess with me.
Basically what I'm saying, if you mess with me, you'll die.
So they haven't, hopefully. My cat's fine.
How old Tim Bardi have many years left?
Before I think four or five, he's grand.
Like, yeah, Finbar, he's a good cat.
Now. I got him a cat leader to trade
him for a walk. I've got to say, he strike me as
a kind of guy that would take a cat for all.
Yeah, but he broke the lead so. But I you know what's brilliant?
Catnip. Spray catnip on the scratch to
go. What is catnip?
Is that what they put in pay or is that way?
It's a kind of a drug like. So what does it?
It's not addictive though, just gives them a bit of an endorphin
release. It's brilliant.
And what do you need to do it for us?
Just give them a bit of crack. Bit fun.
I don't understand in the shop so.
You drug them and then they. Just you don't drop.
It's not a drug. It's just like a sense of smell.
It gives them a real good good feeling.
Or any people in the comments here want to fill me in?
Exactly what can I be? Because, Andrea, you can't just
say you spray something on account.
It gives him a really good feeling.
Yeah, that sounds like a drug to me.
Sounds like a hallucinogenic cat drug.
Give it to him once a week. Gives him a bit but he's hyper
and stuff he enjoys. It doesn't level a motor.
But he loves it. Nice, he.
Loves it. And how has he been there with
you? You are Gagan, you're on your
tour at the minute. You've just had a big show in
the Opera House. Yeah, I did the Opera House last
Thursday. How was that for you?
Phenomenal. There you go guys.
No, it was great and I appreciate everybody that came
out and shame was there and Aaron was there.
Shane's dad was there. No, it was great.
Like it was great. Everybody did great and I was in
good form and the audience seemed to like it so.
And how does how does it, because obviously you're a,
you're a court, a Corkian. Is that the correct?
Term No cork, man a Corker. No, a cork.
Man. I'm a cork that.
Sounds like a character Julia Donaldson would write about Cork
man and Cork like so you're I know, I know.
So you're from Cork. So do you obviously.
Is there a place in Cork? You're like, that's, that's the
place, the dream venue that you want to play?
Is that the one? So here the Opera House,
obviously steeped in history, amazing venue, loads of people
love to play there. How did that feel?
How did the prestige? Did that feel different for you?
Was was the Opera House you're a big show out of the tour?
Was that the one that you were working?
It's. The biggest show, yeah, in terms
of numbers, like 1000 people are.
It was just, it was a nice thing to happen, you know, just like
velvet. Oh, that's nice.
You know, that was my third show in Belfast on the tour.
I didn't 2 Mandelas and then one Opera House and I think I could
have done a second Opera House, but I chose less is more and I
didn't want to be, you know, over overdoing it either, you
know what I mean? But the crowd were so good on
the night, like in but I was you know what it was.
It got to a point where I was so comfortable on stage.
I was proud of myself for being able to relax into it was before
you're kind of Oh my God, this is so big.
My head might go a bit. Actually it went the other way
because Aaron and shame just kind of looked at me and just
went just go out and talk and be fine and I went Oh yeah, it's
just talking, isn't it? Yeah, just went out and talked
and, you know, went out and had a great time.
So I loved it. I doubt that.
And I was up for radio to follow one morning as well, so.
And the storm was coming in as well, like so.
So I mean everything you ever want, Yeah.
I've got radio and a storm has come, yeah.
Yeah, no, it was great. Like it was really good.
See, if you you had, if you'd have been lucky and the literal
storm had a blown the roof off the Opera House, OK, you could
have just the jokes you could have made about that.
Oh yeah, yeah, I know. But you know what, it was great.
It was great night. And like you've seen the show a
couple of times, you know, we've been, we've been out together
and stuff. So, and I performed it really
well. I thought, I thought my, I
performed it well. Now, look, if you know, it was
great. It was, it was a good night was
good. It was a kind of a nice thing to
kind of have a word, which I've got, you know what I did.
Well done, girl. I was good.
And you do that much because sometimes I think that's maybe
in the world of certainly doing gigs and putting on shows and
inter shows, you're always looking to what's next and
sometimes it passes you by if you do something big.
Like that. No, I was, I was, I was in the
moment like, but also I'd only kind of say it to myself, you
know, I really did enjoy it. And on Friday, Julie and I, I
was supposed to go to Cork on Friday to see my nephew plays,
know the captain, the Cork city on the Fourteens and he was
playing a girl playing there was plants.
I think we're playing Saint Patrick's Athletic because of
the storm, a precautions were made, You know, things were
cancelled. You know what I mean?
And I said, you know what, I'm not going to drive down to
caucus. You know, you're not even sure,
I don't think even if there's a red traffic, amber war, red,
red, red weather warning. So we stayed at home all
weekend, huh? So.
That's what they say. In some cases of storm damage,
it can be considered an act of God.
Yeah, yeah. You don't get covered.
In certain insurance, yeah, that's that's different thing.
But then there's there's there's clearly you believe in God.
There's not. You believe in God.
This is the thing I would describe myself as agnostic.
I believe you. Couldn't give a shit either way.
I you know what I think the people that lose their mind over
argue in one or the other need to chill out a bit.
I think that if there is there. Are people that aren't really
taking the divorce well? Now, and there's also people I
think take a little bit too seriously, you know, and want to
kill other people with different religions.
Let's never forget 80 years, you know, things like that.
I think it's too far. I think people need all just
chill out a bit. Don't worry about things that
are, you know, the day-to-day things.
Like a lot of people, I think it's stressed out about stuff
not worth stressing out about. Yeah, you know, I'm actually,
somebody told me recently to get therapy.
Oh wow, who's that? Or somebody.
And they were right. Like, no, what?
Because I get too highly strong. See, whenever you say get
therapy, to me that's either said you can only it's very much
like God getting therapy. I think in terms of there's
people that are really into it and people.
Getting therapy. Really into God.
Same with therapy. Some people would say get
therapy in a way that they're like you need to get therapy,
Foxy. You know, you're fucking head to
me. You need therapy.
That can't, you know, as an insult and other people be like
me. I am worried you need therapy.
There's no middle ground with that.
So was it someone genuinely sent it or was an argument?
No. So what happened was Julie and I
went to Tenerife right on the first of all, I'm done with
those type of holidays. With Julie No, I'm never going
away there again. I.
Can't relax, I think, I'm not going to lie.
Seven days too long for a holiday for me. 4 days maximum.
After day three I want to go home like.
Yeah, and what maybe? So what happened was on the
holiday, we arrived in the holiday, it was great.
The hotel was amazing. So this is for one day.
So when you got there, you're like, this cheques up.
Good, yes, we arrived on the fright on the Thursday night and
it was brilliant and by the Saturday I wanted to go home.
I done. I was done like.
No this. I done a day by the pool, got a
bit of sun. I was like back to work.
No, is there Not a bit. Maybe it's also Julie's holiday
that's. The reason?
Yeah, so I am. So I I would live quite, I'd be
quite an anxious high, anxious guy.
I don't know if you've ever noticed.
I mean, I'm going to say half several.
Times I'd be quite, quite anxious and quite highly strong.
So I'm on holiday and I'm not very good if I have time on my
hands. So if you said to me I'm going
to put you in a room and you can't do anything for four
hours, I'd lose my mind. I can't just sit and still.
I can't be still. I can't just sit with.
I can't sit with my own thoughts.
So that'll be torture for you putting in.
So going on holiday, lying by the pool, sitting there enjoying
the sun, can't cope. But what about it be but in
1975? Listening to all that re
bringing the books, talking to Julie.
I'm up and down to the bar. I'm look, I'm judging everyone
in a note, checking the toilet, sort of cleaning off.
And then what happened? That's what I assume when you
say so. Judy was just saying you need
to. Julie.
Julie was the one I couldn't. Relax.
Couldn't relax. No, Julie didn't say to me.
Someone else said it to me. So who?
Who was this but? Tell me, tell us it's just a
friend of a friend. Was it it was a guy at the pool?
Was it of someone? No, but like, so I think I'm
going to, I think I need to learn.
I think 2025 is going to be the year that Andrew Ryan learns to
relax. Well, you heard it here first on
Tea With Me. You heard Andrew Ryan.
It's got. I mean, I can I be honest, as a
friend, I can't see that happen. Yeah.
I think there's a lot coming up in 2025.
It's not going to lend itself to you.
I can you relax? Oh yeah, never has there been a
man that can relax more than me. Really.
Oh yeah, I'm very good at relaxing.
Very good at relaxing. Yeah, yeah, I can get, I can get
a major chill on a heartbeat. I can sleep anywhere.
Can, yeah. Can you see like in a mood in
Boston stuff? No, I have slept on a bus tour
of New York City. So I've slept there.
I've slept. I actually got woken by Steward
at the Open Golf because I'd fall asleep at the side and I
was snoring and and the fact that when the players I've
snored there, I actually fell asleep on Sunday night at the
cinema watching Nosferatu. And that's a scary experience
when you fall asleep in the middle of a horror film and the
surround sound is so loud that it wakes you up and there's a
big creepy vampire going, then your fish shit yourself.
But I can chill. I can sleep at any and I can
sleep sitting up. I can sleep standing up.
You name it, I can do it. You can't sleep standing up.
No one can. That's impossible.
I'm going to show you. You cannot sleep standing up.
You're not. Standing up straight, you're.
Leaving the ball? No.
Yeah, Impossible. Your legs, their legs can't.
You cannot fall asleep if there's pressure on your legs.
There's no pressure on me when I'm chilling, brother.
No pressure, no expectations. Watch me go.
Yeah, so. So could you not go to sleep?
I can. I'm a brilliant sleeper now once
I get. Going That's pretty relaxing
then. But when I think once I get
going into the sleep, I'm good at it.
But what it, what is it? Is there anything about that
that you think like what if you get a bit of time yourself?
What's the sort of process? Do you start like the are you
jitter? No a bad thoughts.
And what are the thoughts you think about?
Was it because sometimes when I'm like, I think I feel.
Like, I'm in the therapy session now, right?
Well, listen, that's what we know.
What like I find it hard to I, I, I I try to block a lot of
stuff out by keeping busy. But do you ever because
sometimes I'll get, if I have a bit of time, I think maybe I
should be doing other things. Do you ever get that where
you're like you said a minute ago, I could be doing this, I
could be doing that. And then sometimes you say
yourself or you just do nothing. Chill out.
Yeah. Have we minute to feel Zen in
the moment? And it's OK to reward yourself,
because guilt's a really terrible feeling, my friend.
Oh, I don't feel guilty, but you should.
You should. No, I just, I'm just highly, I
just, I just can't relax and I get impatient.
I'm impatient. I can't relax.
I'm Aggie and I get frustrated. Like I remember many years ago I
broke up with a girl because she didn't walk fast enough, right?
So you'd be walking in the street and she wouldn't be
walking fast enough. I'm like, no.
That's just not for you. And did you dump or did you have
to stop and turn around and go like you're dumped?
Or no, I just went. I can't that's, that's not a,
that's not a pace I can go at like.
Can I say what's not going to go in reputationally, that's not
going to go well for you? When she tells her friends why
you dumped her, they're going to go at something else.
That can't be because that's mental.
And it's like, no. It is.
No, it is. And then what on did she try to?
No, I made-up another excuse quicker and it made-up another
excuse. What was your other excuse?
I just said I'm moving away. From you because you're too
slow. I said I said I was moving.
I said I was moving back to London.
I've only gone over the weekend. Yeah.
And then was that not weird whenever you came back like?
I changed my mind when I was back in London to come back.
Are OK and then she's like, oh, have you changed your mind?
I just don't still hear from her over again and listen, but like
I have like in my head, I see things like I'll give you an
example now and like, can I just say like me and Julie get
married to share. She's brilliant, right?
She does put up with a little bit.
She does put up with a lot of me.
Boss, you've come to an understanding.
Now you know next to the badge of a locker and you have a plug
sockets. We say a locker.
What do you mean? Like a bedside locker, like a
table. I tell you I have a locker.
Locker drawers like. But their drawers are not.
A locker would indicate you've like a lock and a key and you
have something. It's a locker, Dave.
Can I just ask guys back, do you have a bedside table or do you
have lockers? Bedside table.
Bedside table, Yeah, right. Bedside table.
That makes you happy, Right? OK.
You're wrong. All right.
OK. OK.
Do you know where you have sockets?
In the wall? Yes.
And in one of the sockets, I plug in an extension lead and
then the four sockets in the extension lead.
You know, I'll have my phone charger 1, the other one that
charges me Fitbit watch, and then I have a plug for the lamp.
So when I get into bed at night, I plug in the phone, turn lamp
on, whatever. Sometimes she turned a switch on
the wall of the socket off. And I come home and I get into
bed and I'm plugging in my phone.
I'm thinking my phone is charging.
It's not charging because she turned the switch off.
Like that would drive me mad now.
Yeah. Like there is a, there is a.
Like like that would actually like that, like that would like
like that would be in my head for a whole day.
Like you know, I'd say to where I can you not turn the switch
off. So oh, sorry about that.
She hasn't done anything wrong. It's my reaction to that is the
issue. She hasn't done anything wrong.
I can't cope with the fact of why would you think it's a good
idea to turn the switch? Off no, do you?
How far is the switch from you like I said.
It's about two arm reaches right OK, an arm and 1/2.
Now, do you not see when you put your like when you try to turn
your light on, it's not coming on or you try to charge your
phone, it's not saying charging no and you just go.
Yeah, but I shouldn't have to do that because it should be on all
the time. You're you're Just because the
switch on the wall is down doesn't mean you're burning
electricity. No, I would be with you on that.
And I do have the exact same situation.
Stuff like that. I have the the the main socket,
the plug switches on my side of the bed.
So I have the control of ultimate power and the Doctor
Octopus like I am harnessing the power of 1000 Suns by one
switch. Yeah, that's me.
But I I would probably just go, oh, switch back on.
I wouldn't let that room my entire day, is what I'm saying.
Like I lose my mind over things that are like, you know, the way
you turn on the I've gas cooker, you know, so I've did gone, you
know, the gun with the flame. Yes.
The lighter. Yeah.
You the guy. Yeah, a lighter.
So let me just say it's a bedside table and it's a
lighter. It's not a locker and a gun of
the flame. You are a secret agent.
That's not to do. They're idiots.
You know, like so you push the thing on the gas.
Yes, you do the lighter and the gas goes off.
Do you know? Does that not just do it itself?
There was something wrong with the starter, but so I always
keep the. Guy out to look at.
That I always get the the later the later next to the cooker,
right. So whenever I'm cooking
something like turn against, but sometimes Julie go off to later
candles with the with the later, but then the later wouldn't be
back in the kitchen. See, that's another thing now
like that. Yeah, you know what?
I can. Put things back I.
Can feel like. I think though sometimes these
are anything that Julie does. It annoys you that you feel like
you keep to yourself because there's a couple of things where
I've got had double standards for Catherine and it frustrates
me. Like I will say she has a go at
me sometimes if I leave a little bit of beard hair in the in the
sync of a shave. No, I don't shave this part of
my beard. I just shave the tops, tidy up
to give a bit of shape in my face and sometimes I'll try and
wash it away. Sometimes there'll be a little
speck of hair and I'm sorry, I do that.
But in the same time I could be in the shower and the shower
water is rising and I take the plug out and I left out
essentially enough to clone 7 Catherines out of the shower.
I just throw it down the toilet, flush it away.
I don't go to her. You left all this here, Same
thing at the minute. I'm, I'm nomadic in my house at
the moment because I've nowhere to put my belongings because
nobody loves me. So I'm putting my stuff in my
bag and I'm moving bag here and there.
It's fine. She goes.
Can you move that bag out of the way?
There's no one goes yet. I go to my room.
She's 45,000 pairs of shoes and I'd have to kick them out of the
way. Health and safety issue too.
I just don't do it because it's not worth the argument, you
know? Now I'm saying this in front of
thousands. Of people I've learned how to
surrender. You should do.
You have to surrender to the thought process of the partner.
And see with that, would you then carry that on into your own
head? No, surrender to the switch and
surrender to the I. What you could do with the the
the candle lighter is just go into your living room, take it
off a mantelpiece. But I've done that and then
solve. I don't, yeah.
But it's it's the top process of why I have to do that.
Here's another trick by Two Things.
That's what I do, yeah. So if you've won, you leave one
in the the mantelpiece and you leave one in the drawers.
Yeah. I don't have gas so I just have
another lighter in case I want to set things on fire.
But like like it's not she's not doing anything wrong.
This is just normal living, but in But when you you know, like
when you sit down, you think, So what am I getting upset about
that far? There's nothing and then.
But then see when you say it to yourself, why am I getting upset
about this? What is the conclusion you come
to? That I'm overreacting and.
There you go. But I can't can't figure it out.
There may be a solution. For this, Yeah.
What is it? Well firstlybetterhelp.com/T
with me for temperature. Betterhelp.com.
Are you trying to sell me? What do you sell me now?
Therapy. What good hell?
I need to get a therapist. How do you get a good therapist?
Betterhelp.com/team with me. I'm not having a zoom call and
telling some whole life story before he starts making me feel
good again. Have you ever been?
Do you have any conditions like ADHD or anything?
Have you ever been assessed for anything?
No, because there's no point. What difference is that going to
make to me of my life? I have it or not.
This might make you. That's why I feel this way.
But it doesn't make any difference.
It's an excuse. Well, listen, you never know I'm
not. This is what you don't want to.
Know every fucker has ADHD? No, but.
You know what you could, but you could get special parking and
all you would get see anything you want.
To do. Oh yeah.
Special parking and also see if you wanted to submit any any
work to like you'd be like I'm disabled comedian Dick.
No, that's fraud in the system and I wouldn't be comfortable
with that. But if you have it.
No, no, I've done therapy before and like, you know, you get to
the point that where you end up like taking on the therapist.
Yeah. And so far you can push him
like. Because then the also so like,
so you do, you make stuff up when you're the.
Thing no, it's annoying like I'm like you can't help me.
You can't even do it on house. And then what the then does the
therapist say to you? I can't help you.
Name one therapist like told me we were done.
Uh huh. Which is what we're done now
when I only agree. Yeah.
But what would happen that instant if you said no?
She'd have to keep treating me, would she?
I don't know the law, I don't know what.
Probably. So private practise.
No, I want to go as far to say I think therapists do a great job
and it's it's a great service if you require it.
But what level are you pushing a therapist that they're going?
I can cook the view. You're like, how did you come
back from that? Did she refer you to another
therapist? Or just said, I think we've
reached the end of our journey and I went being a good journey
and. Then what happened?
Just left. Left.
You haven't been to therapy since.
And do you think that's why you are the way you are?
No, I'm not the way I'm not. I'm not a bad person.
I just. I'm just.
I never said you were. No, but you're implying.
No, I'm not implying. I think, I think that I, I, I'm
very impatient. I'm very, I get annoyed.
Sensory noise? I've been looking into buying
the air muffs in my mountain public so I don't hear anything.
Like just get noise counselling headphones.
Not here, yeah. People be like, what?
Ever seen? There's something about Mary?
I've lost my baseball. But I mean, that'll be a good
sign if you put enough. Like if you have the air muffs
on. Don't disturb Andre.
Yeah, that could be you. Yeah, stuff like that.
Like I don't know what I'm getting quite agitated about
being a being alive like, but I've all but I've always been
agitated. Well, I've always been agitated.
What's the solution done? Well, so this was for your
partners that should have your partners a service commode.
And eight out of 10 men think they could replace their real
lovers with an AI partner. No, I couldn't replace Julie.
No, Julie's great. It's very funny.
Hang on, you just had five minutes of complaining about.
No, I never. I never complained about what
did. I've been complaining about my
reaction to it. That's there's a difference
there, your friendly back. But no, no, no apologise.
I've been, I've been talking about she's doing nothing wrong.
I can't deal with this. I'm sorry to Julie, probably.
I think what's been said here has been for AI, think it's been
good. I think it's been very open for
me, Andrew. I think it's been a lot of
introverts. Ever drive and you see a car in
front of you and you think you visualise like it kind of cuts
you up and you visualise what you do to them?
Yes, killing them, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like following them home
and stuff. Oh yeah.
I wouldn't follow them home. Like, yeah, but the fact that
those talks are in my head, yeah, I worry.
But that's natural thing in a car, you can feel that way.
The only problem is I visualise getting things up to a point and
angle what happens when I've done this, Like what's the
result of like, yeah, and knock on the door.
And in that moment you have a reality that this is mental and
you go, what do you say? Don't go.
You fucking cut me a little bit. You just knock the door and be
like. It's good morning.
Madness isn't. It yeah, it's mad, but that'll
happen people like there used to be a time I, I, I vividly
pictured driving my car into the sea.
Yeah. Whenever Matilda was little, I
used to have to, she wouldn't sleep.
So I used to put her in the car really early in the morning and
just drive down the the Arts Peninsula and I would listen to
the song Sign of the Times, the Harry style song on repeat
because it made her go to sleep. And I just remember at one point
fully visualising what it would be like just driving the car
into the sea, listen to that music.
And then it made me go. I actually wouldn't like the
consequences of that, so I won't do it.
But in a moment, there's a bit of romanticism about just
imagine in the car. OK, so Kieran in the chat wants
to know, Andrea, what's your best and worst airports please?
Is it Kieran Bartlett? I don't believe so, no.
Kieran Fleming. Fleming the flame Meister.
Best of works, best of more worst airports.
And why? And why?
Come on, you need to pick it up. Best serving.
That's cool. Let's get to put energy.
Get excited. What airport best?
Best airport Belfast City. Why?
What makes great airport? So fast, so easy.
It's a great airport. Could do with some more shops
upstairs in the departure lounge.
Good access, worst airport. And I am, I'm not going to lie,
but Luton is Luton is Stansted. Stansted.
Worse. Worse than Luton?
I think Snow Luton is better now because they've got the new
metro, but Stansted without a shadow.
I would rather not travel well then go to Stansted again.
It's too busy. It's a cattle Mart.
I had a panic attack in the airport last time I was there.
It wasn't good time. I was just busy A.
Lot of people going on and then I really wanted.
Do you ever see people you're really curious about?
You want to look at them more? But you know, if you look at
them, they'll be like, why are you looking at me?
Yeah, yeah, that was happening, Yeah.
You know, as I feel like Orthodox Jewish family and I
want to see what's going on. But I knew if I looked like this
and I'm staring at them, they'll go problem when I was just
curious, you know? I didn't like Brandenburg in
Germany, in Berlin, but I like it now because they've done a
lot of it. Nice.
It's too long. Too long too.
Long an airport, you know Barcelona, not math.
Barcelona is a wonderful airport.
Wonderful. Well, here's there's differences
between the efficiency of going through an airport and there's
also which airport is the best amenities like which one could
you be like you could sit there if you're having a a break
between flights. Where do you have South?
Korea, Seoul. Seoul airport is brilliant.
Yeah, Dubai is just on another level.
Yeah, Dubai. You have there.
Anything me? See, I wouldn't go to Dubai.
I think it's like a fair. I like the wee bit of heart
about a place, you know what I mean?
I feel it's all all fake, all just put together.
There's no soul to it. You know history.
Yeah, because Dubai and Bangor like massive, massive cultural
differences. There, there's a cultural hub.
Oh, brilliant, yeah, fantastic spot.
Yeah, that supermarket that has that's not open.
Mad that. What supermarkets?
Not open the place that's shut down.
It's not in there, Andrew, don't.
It's a real culture banger. Banger.
That's that's cultural. Your banger has best beaches in
right down the peninsula. Yeah, in the country.
Yeah, I've been to West Cork. No, wouldn't want to admit
because you get people like you that are ignorant, but other
people's culture and I feel that's why really hurtful.
All right. And the supermarket shot
everywhere, not just Bangor, right?
Any other questions in the in the is it a chopper we call it
today or is it a comments? Yeah, Chopper.
Yeah, people have been asking that these watch the Paul Huge
fight on Saturday night. I saw extended highlights.
I thought it did brilliant, you know.
Did you see it? I didn't watched it after the
fact. Talking warriors.
He's excellent, he is. Brilliant.
I hope now he can get a rematch. I mean, I don't know what the
contract says, but if you what might if he didn't bat for me
some crack? See if I was an amagamite of I
wouldn't be rushing to fight him again.
You can because, because he's too.
Good, because he is rushed. Yeah, he is very good.
I think a lot of people probably underestimated him.
I think he's a great fighter with a load of potential and it
was a big shout out to Paul himself.
Great performance. Yeah, friend of the show.
Yeah, we'll, we'll try and get him on a call later this week,
but. Nice to try and.
Get him on. Oh yeah.
God, it's poor lad. Yeah, he refereed the box and
didn't. You're not refereed.
He judged. The box.
That's right. So do you have B for them?
Because he didn't give you the nod.
Yeah, he didn't give me that. But no, I respect him, you know,
respect him now. But you were like, yeah, that
was the right decision. Yeah, I think the head but kind
of slowed the fight down a bit and then I stopped a little bit.
So I think he he said himself, didn't he, that he should have
pushed a bit more. I mean like, I like, as if I
know anything about professional boxing like.
Yeah, but it was mixed martial arts.
And you? Know what I mean?
Yeah, but it was, it was, it was a great fight, though.
It was very entertaining. Yeah, Yeah.
Any other poor father comments? Jimmy wants to know what are
your favourite places to gig in Ireland?
Yeah, or you just on the terrace, you'll have a good a
good take on that. So your favourite place of the
gag in the whole island of Ireland, or would you say
banger? It was my first phone.
I don't really have a favourite place, but they've all been
good. I mean, I must admit they're all
really good. The surprising ones, like I did
all my 10 days ago to my second night in dailies.
Wild. Yeah, Oh my Daily is a great
spot. Brilliant spot.
Obviously Belfast is like, yeah, I think like they're all good,
man. Here's an easier one for you.
I think it's easier to go where the place that you don't like or
any place you're like, God, no, forget about that.
I won't. I won't return there in a
heartbeat. I have never performed in
Limerick so the first time I got booked to go do a show in
Limerick I drove down to do it and nobody turned up.
Still got paid. Was it was it one of your gigs
or was? IT club, gig club and then I got
load of requests online to come to Limerick on my tour so I put
the show on sale in Limerick. I sold three tickets so I just
cancelled it. So I've made a decision.
I'm going to go through my whole career without performing in
Limerick. You know what?
I I love that. See, I love people complete
spite. I love people that are motivated
from spite. I think there's no great
motivation. I have a list of people in my
life that I'm going to try and get to the end of my life
without seeing these people ever again.
OK. And do that.
Oh yeah. 4 comics, 4 comedians on it.
Yeah. Oh, I think I know a couple, but
I would like to know the other. Couple so let's see how so if I
can avoid these comedians for the rest of.
My and what would your, your approach be if you were to if
you were to be in their company or you ought to Bill, would you
just say no? I don't know yet still yet that
but what two of them are in America?
Good. They're bored Americans, by the
way. All right.
OK, so they're not Irish. Now, do you know both these
people? Are you just?
Yeah, I've worked with them before.
Right. OK.
Because it might, you might just be like, listen.
One is in England and the other one I think is in England.
Yeah, we're. Not going to give any names, but
let's just say Andrew really enjoyed what Will Smith did at
the Oscars. You know what?
I, I don't want to get into this because they don't want to be
disrespectful to any place. But fuck them, Donald.
For gigs. Really.
Yeah. And you know what?
Stick our mind in there, too. In the marketplace.
Now. Now, prove me wrong or my.
I put my arms open to you. You're a beautiful, a beautiful
city with beautiful architecture and history and soul.
But your gigs in the marketplace have stunk for me.
But. Why?
Why have they stunk? It's the weird layout and I
think they're very I'm in my head.
This is probably wrong thinking, but I feel like they're very
free P. What's the free P Presbyterian.
I get that vibe, but I'm going. To so hold on a second, is there
a Presbyterian and then Free Presbyterian?
That's like the pay as they crew, you know the.
Pay is the other Presbyterians not free or they like now?
They're, they're held, Captain. Yeah, they're they're they're
slave Presbyterian. So one second what's
Presbyterian and Free Press? What's the difference?
Free Presbyterian was not the church.
It was formed by EM Paisley in 19 and 5th.
Was it in the 50s? He for now, 56 Am I right and
saying if I'm right here, I'm going to be so proud of myself.
What is Free Presbyterian, John? Free Catholic.
Yeah. And they but there's so many
when Wendy former or was that in the 60s or 70s free pace I.
Think it might be in the 50s. Because wasn't the?
51. 5151 they go Free Presbyterian Church and but
wasn't wasn't the initial Protestant was Henry Louis Henry
the he was the 1st he brought in Protestant doesn't need a.
Well, it was not like Luther was the 1st.
Louvre. But no, he he got all for it.
And then he brought. He was.
Yeah, he wanted to get divorcement or.
What? Yeah.
If ever there's a guy, it's my kind of guy.
Henry the Eighth. Well, he killed all his wives,
didn't. He, he just no, not all I'm
killing. The thing he only killed?
2 year old, the couple. But what I'm bullying did he
kill him till he kill her? No, she was only one to survive.
Wasn't you I? Don't know.
He divorced a couple, beheaded a couple.
And there was who was the one that was stinking?
Anna Cleaves. He was like, oh, she's bogging.
He's like, because back in the day they don't have like
pictures like they do nowadays. Someone had sent them a painting
of this woman and he was like, for I'll give me a bit of that.
And then when she came over and didn't match the painting, he
was like, oh, you're bogging. Divorced her.
Who was that? The stinking 1?
I think if you just Google. Maybe Anna Cleaves divorced.
Bogging life. Killed.
I'm Boleyn. I killed her.
Yeah, yeah, and Catherine hard, poor and.
Catherine Hard, Yeah. Would you?
Tell my wife. Don't know.
I wouldn't, Andrew. No, no, Joe, what I was thinking
if I wasn't, if I was single, I would have I was going to when I
was single, I was going to apply to go and marry the first sight.
Uh huh. You know when you go on and you
Oh yes, six weeks experiment. Can I say I?
Could I think I do all right now?
I don't think so. What in what way would you do
all? Right.
I don't, I think if ever there was a show you would struggle on
bring. The a game like get married for
six weeks, see if it works. I'd enjoy that.
Then what happens if they're like, right, you need to go and
sit in this hotel room for half an hour and you just be freaking
climbing the walls? You quit climbing the walls.
I can't relax. But it's just I can't relax for
a long period of time. And what do you think like
Dennis is nothing. How do you think they who do
you? What sort of person do you think
they would pair you with? Because I'm married for sight.
Apparently they try to make everything like statistically.
Probably pair me with someone very sensible, you know, a bit
of a leader, probably somebody that's a good leader.
But do you think you need somebody that's different to you
like a wee bit? More yeah, like Julie's very
strong. Julie's very, you know, she's
very strong person, so. She's good fun too, Julie.
She's great fun, Julie. So that's what like I.
Feel like if you got somebody that was a bit too serious, you.
Yeah, Julie's very strong and she's great fun, but she's also
very serious what she has to be. And I like that you can, you can
flick it like a switch. You know, some people like,
aren't like that, aren't like that at all.
You know, I'd be good at it. Like I'd love the arguments and
stuff. I want to say this.
Oh my, the first sight. Body language is very important.
I'd be very open. I'm absolutely exhausted here,
by the way, so I'm just very tired to that.
Well, yes. But you know, I think that's,
yes, the worst place you go. Safe, basically.
Fuck Limerick. That's just no, that's insane.
Can't get it right. So I've never done it and I.
Never be there I'll. Let you know what I've decided.
Like Shane, Chris Kent. Chris Kent is secretly trolling
me. He's added seven shows in Dolan
on his latest tour. I think Chris kind of is
starting to troll me. I'm texting go.
When will this end? Never right any more question in
the chop bar. From the crew wants to know how
is the flight simulator going? Flight simulator going is good
so. Can I say I feel like you've
really stalled in Flight Simulator?
I used to. I thought for a while it was
really, I mean, these are all aeroplane ponz.
I thought you were flying for a bit, but now I feel, I feel like
it's taken aback. Burners OK.
So my next door neighbour has the exact same flight simulator
that I want in my house. Oh no.
I found this out so I've been going into his house to use the.
Flight Simulator. Who knows?
It lets me in like. So that must have been a big
eagle thing, surely? Oh, I lost my fucking mind.
So his son is a pilot in the RAF.
So his son is basically. Is your idol his?
Son is my idol. Yeah, so his son has copying and
paid, copying and pasting the copy and paste what he has, and
he's putting it into my house, but he's to buy all the parts.
So I've been flying on the flight simulator but it's not
the one under my stairs. Oh yes.
Where's this guy's? Where's his in the house?
Does he have? This one is in the spare room.
Because if you could get a wee door between, that would be
unbelievable. So I've I've been going in so I
did a nice trip to Cork there recently and.
Let you tell Julian in France what you're up to.
Because I'm just going flying. I just.
Got kind of got. Bag and all I just got.
Any chance I could go on the plane?
And he's like, come on, I don't. Know what happens if he's mid
flight? Can he put it all on his?
Son lives in England, like, so you just go in and he sets it
up, feel like, you know, so the dad's there like.
I thought it was the dad simulator.
No sons, right? Son lives in England, he's a
pilot. So yeah.
So I'm getting that set up into my house, but while I'm while
I'm getting the stuff because the guy is helping me in
England. How old is the dad next door?
50. He's a bit older, he could have
just stolen bits. But I've offered to buy his
simulator. I said just give, give me that.
And what's he said because mine answer?
Yeah, so I said like, whatever you want for, I'll give you a
bit more. Just lift it up and bring it
into my house and give it to me like.
I'm just, well, you know, you should do.
Actually you should get a WE conveyor belt and just set it on
like you're waiting for your. Bags.
Yeah, yeah, I'm very excited about it.
No, but we're getting there with it.
But but it's costing a lot of money.
Yeah, but if someone else sourcing the part.
So just relax. I'm still flying.
Right, OK. And do you feel like you've made
progress from we had the live to you and me in the wall garden
last year when we were talking about it seemed like it was a
very eminent thing, but I feel like we're a year on and there's
no progress. I feel like you're, you're
focusing on all get marginal and you're kind of putting your.
I'm still flying in a flight similar dev.
OK. How fast are you doing?
Every couple of. What about your golf?
Golf is back. Just back this.
Once more, what's because I want to see you flying as often as
you're playing golf. Golf is the most important thing
out of the flight. Similar golf is it's my
relationship is important. I have an idea, an idea.
You can take it or you can leave it.
You could get one of those golf simulators too, in another room.
You know, it's like the big screen.
And I guess you could, you could live in a whole fantasy world
you could be in. You could fly.
Fly to Hawaii to. Hawaii and play.
Get off. The plane and then log into
Hawaii Golf Course. And then go that hop back on
yeah, it just take go to Augusta across the across the water Big
12 hour flight to Georgia. Yeah, take away how far, settle
yourself, play Augusta back in the flight.
Yeah, Yeah. Now you're going to have to
dedicate probably 2-3 days of your life for that.
That's one experience. We'll do that.
Let's do that and get it on the Patriot.
Yeah. No, no, no.
So we're getting there. But you, one thing you've got to
understand about me is I'm a slow progress guy.
I'll tell you I'm doing something, but the progress
would be slow like. But then this is what you need.
You need to make that, you know, when you're feeling like I can't
relax, I need to be doing things.
The thing you should be doing is building your golf and.
No. The golf I want the golf.
No. I'm back on the golf.
No. The golf's not for you anymore,
Andrew. It's for us.
We want you to set up the golf simulator.
No, no travel. We want to see that we want to
see it. We want.
To see, I'm not going to know how much, Golf said.
It's like 20 grand. We're sorry guys, Patreon.
We'll get Andrew the golf simulator.
No way. What else could you simulate
next? Happiness.
If even if it does exist. I mean if you think happiness
exists. Yes, because I feel happy.
You see, I don't think I think I think we lie into ourselves.
I think every day. Every day is a journey through
your own head. Wow am I but you, you must.
You look at you have a big smile on your face now.
You must feel happy sometimes. I'm very happy, but I question
it. I question it.
Question. What is if if I you say I'm
sitting down talking to you like on a podcast and I asked you
what what makes Andrey happy? If you're a list like if you
strike me as a kind of guy that wouldn't sit down and open up a
journal and do gratitude, you strike me as a guy that wouldn't
do his gratitude journal. What?
What makes Andrey happy? To be left alone.
But then when you're left alone. I can't be alone.
So that's not happy. So that's not happy.
And see, when you're simulating, you're flying.
I think what makes me happy is knowing that I I've made good
decisions about the things that I can control.
You're supposed to just say something like I know Chinese
food or like watching mine, you know?
You know something. Not that I can't cope with the
depth you've asked me so far. Do I believe in God?
Is God real? It's habitual.
I don't know if anything's real anymore.
You know what I know? I love carbonara.
That makes me happy. A big plan.
Yeah, you see, no, I wouldn't judge my head space like that,
but. You need you need to have a
little happy wins. You know what else makes me
happy? The plumber came to my house
today. That made me happy.
I was good. Yeah, it was great.
You know what? I have a guy coming tonight to
put up shelves in my house, so that's going to make me Julie
happy because we're getting shelves.
There you go. Shelving makes you happy.
Yeah, I name of a painter coming in February to paint the hall.
Good man yourself not makes you happy.
But, but I don't think you can be truly happy.
I think you can be truly happy, but it's not it's it's, it's
finite. You can be truly happy for a
period and then a dip central you know I.
Think. Any more questions?
I think all right, go on. You're getting.
You're getting too deep in freaking.
Right, sorry. Michael, also know what's the
longest flight you've ever done on a simulator?
Oh. Only like an hour.
Oh, Percy, we want. Long haul.
We want. Long I only want take off in
London. That's where the action is.
You could do full amazing role plays in your life by the way.
You could fly off like you could fly to Prague.
You could go out there, you could make Julie cookies
straight for you. Go to Amsterdam, get a wee red
light in your living room. You could do the world you all
through the simulator. Yeah, it'll be, I'll be a great
experience. You come up and you come up and
fly, will you? Yeah.
See me? I will.
I will copilot a flight with you.
You have to talk me through it, but I'm willing to do it.
Good stuff. I'll do the announcements and
all. They'll be coming through here
with some some frequencies. Andrew, don't do it.
Don't do it. Any more questions?
P dog wants to know how did Andrew enjoy Dubai?
He's. Going to go.
I don't know if I really enjoyed it per SE.
I don't know if I can feel it. I really enjoyed it at a great
time. Man, you know.
Although I was very annoyed when we arrived, Willie and Shane
were in executive rooms and I wasn't.
I was just in the standard room. They were they were in like an,
oh, we got you an executive room and I went all brilliant and
never like you're just in a standard room, Mr. Ryan.
I went why the why the change? So I look at chain of the why
mine standard, like anyway, just fucking take the room.
So I took the room and you know what had an absolute ball, man,
Was there a big difference? I just say Willie Thompson and
Shane Todd, great crack on the road.
Great, you're good. Crack on the road as well then.
But like we all need to do something where we all go on the
road. Like I want to set up a gig
across Europe where we get 5 cities and five nights and call
it the Irish invasion and we bring an MC and three acts.
Four of us go to four big cities in Europe.
I'll call it the Irish invasion and.
I'd like to do that that. 'D be great crack.
Be a lot of fun do. You know what I mean?
So and yeah, Dubai was brilliant that as we could crack and it's
all about the company, you know, Like I was seeing Julie's
friends were living over there, Julie's cousin.
So I went out when they all I didn't go to Eminem wouldn't
interest me now. Yeah.
You know what I prefer to do by human rights, man?
Any other questions? You know your phone?
Yeah. Who made that?
China. OK, human rights, yeah.
Yeah, but not in China. Made by Chinese guys in Belfast.
Those guys got out. Timothy wants to know would the
comedians ever do a Bake Off or Master Chef or.
Why did you mix it up and have a master beat off?
What did you? Be I'd be Greg Wallace.
Just touch everyone up. Allegedly.
Allegedly, by the way. Allegedly he's great man and so.
I'd do a Bake Off. What would you cook?
I do I do a meringue. Cheesecake make no bake
cheesecake. I'd be the anti Bake Off.
What is the other show? Master Chef.
Master Chef Yeah, it'd be all right.
I think it'd be good fun. But I mean, I don't know what
like you got to think what would do well for people to watch to,
wouldn't you? You'd need to be hard to produce
that sort of show. You can really do it live.
Did you no no so cost cost the money like I still maintain we
should do 24 hour Big Brother host or something.
Yeah, because that's easy to set up.
Yeah. OK, done.
Great energy. Yeah, but no, no, no.
If there was any other show, if there was any other show, what
would you want to do? Like I joked on my own podcast
last week that I do a naked attraction with comedians.
No, yeah, I'd win that. I just love to see all the
redex. And all I'd win it because I've
got, I've tattooed now I've got tattoo, you know.
That's right. I'd win that, I'd win they Can
attractions show off with tattoos?
And I don't know, you can't win. They can attract you.
Just go on a date with. Somebody.
Oh, dear. All right, I'll tell.
You I don't know. That's not a cock judging
contest. He's no I would.
Do you know what I'd love to do? I want to do the quiz shows.
Oh, a chase or something? I'd love to do with Chase.
Like the millionaire, how did you guys feel he wants to be a
millionaire when he's did it on on the Patreon?
Was it a success? Was it a what the what you just
reckon was? Yeah, it went well, yeah.
I think it was good. A chase would be.
Good. I really want to be a guest
chasers on a quiz shows. I'm sick of fucking yeah host
and quizzes on the radio and like I want to be the guest.
Like I want to be the guy trying to get the money like.
But you know, a few people have moved.
Make for good chasers, you know, obviously, I know for Neil
Delamere said he wants to be a chaser.
Get him to bitch. You could.
Do he's a very smart man, Neil. Yeah, he's an entire.
He's really intelligent and I'd like annoyingly intelligent.
Because he know about 90s Premier League?
I don't think so. He asked me about 90s Premier
League. Who was the bald goalkeeper for
North City in 1996? Gone.
Correct. Thank you.
That's impressive. Thank you Who?
Let me say Stewart, who writer left back for a Blackburn, won
the league, believe it or not. Three my my cousin on the League
of Blackburn. Yes, but his name?
Sure. Ripley.
No, I don't know. Sure.
Ripley. Yeah, yeah.
He wasn't right back. He's a right winger.
All right, he's on the writer. No, no, he was a right winger.
Stuart Ripley went to Cliff Middlesbrough as well.
I. Told you was right.
OK, let me think. Big ginger fella played from
Middlesbrough in the 90s. Midfielder Big Fell who?
Hold on, Hold on, big ginger Phil.
Yeah, what's what's his surname? In the 90s, From Middlesbrough
in the 90s. It's something you would do if
you didn't get to go to work for two days.
It is stop. Stamp, Phil.
Stamp Yeah, yes. Phil Stamp and oh, and who
scored the the goal for Chelsea in the FA Cup final?
The fact was at the time, the fastest goal in.
The Berkeley Matteo, Correct. Who scored the other goal and
they won two nil. Time, Franco Zola.
I don't know was it sola don't. Know I'm going to go viali but
I. Feel like Ovi Ali frankly, if
you had a password. In the Asian look, RIP.
He's like a man. Yeah.
Cancer, wasn't it? Yeah.
I don't know who died as well. Toto Scotchy.
Scotchy. He died recently.
As well that's. A shame all of those guys from
the 80s and 90s are all going now.
You think there's some sort of Irish curse in those guys?
That's why they're. No, I just think time's catching
up with them. Any other questions?
We'll, we'll get the wrapping up soon.
The last couple of questions. Karen wants to know what clubs
does air I have in his bag. Callaway forged irons.
Forged an iron can I have. A Callaway forged iron.
I have 456789 iron pitch and wage sixty degree 56 degree 50°
and I'm saying you get a new really good Callaway Potter.
My driver is Cobra. My is that Callaway.
Is that a tour ready bag like or is there too many clubs there?
Tour it with like I'm a tour ready bag, but I'm and I my
godfall, I play with. It's a Callaway Chrome soft
there. You.
Go Karen wants to know is Dave Bosnia about the return of
Trump. You know what?
A joking aside, no, I'm. What you think of Trump again?
I think it's concerning. I think the banter's gone too
far. I think first of all, on a
serious note, America voted for this to know what they were
getting. So that's their fucking
decision. It's none of our business,
really. Secondly, I fucking despise the
man. I hate him.
Yeah, I hate his family. I hate his kids.
I hate his businesses, I hate his abuse, I hate his hair, I
hate his policies, I hate his his son Baron is a little fucked
heart that wouldn't last two minutes on a minor football
team. His other kids are all fucking
narcissistic bullies who feel that the world owes them
something when actually they're just complete hypocrites who
wouldn't last five minutes in the real world.
You can see right through their eyes because of the vacant lack
of parenting that they've ever had to their father's been.
Spent his whole time growing, lying about his businesses when
the only reason he wants to become president is because he's
got such a hateful mind that his mother never loved him enough.
And his mother was Scottish as well and she probably delighted
he fucked off to America and never came back.
And but I wish America well. Did you want to come out of the
Win Do? You appreciate his golf game or.
No, he's I just fucking hate him.
I just hate the gun. And I had a lot of I had a lot
of politic politicians on the left wing as well and people in
the right. It's not like, oh, I'm just a
liberal. Like I hate people on all sides,
but like I just like, I don't like Jeremy Corbyn because
Jeremy Carver isn't like can't make a decision.
He's like fucking Latvia or something, you know, like just
non the scripts. So.
Just politics isn't your game. No, I just think some of them
are done absolute. You know, you know, you know.
Can I just tell you when there was research done be.
Careful at hand in this. There was research done in
America why people were voting for Donald Trump, and the reason
they were voting for them is because they want people that
can make decisions and get things done where it seems like
somebody like a Biden or a Barack Obama, things take too
long and where this guy's gone, We're doing this and we're doing
it now. OK.
So obviously, mass deputy, deeper mass deportations, we're
doing it and we're doing it now. And you see people going back on
flights, right? And people are actually going,
we like this because something's getting done.
No, I don't agree with it, you know, because it's going to be a
lot of virus getting kicked out. And you know what, fuck it, come
back home. You know what I mean?
If you have to come back home, come back home, that's fine.
But people like people that can make decisions and actually get
stuff out whether you agree with what the person is doing, not
something. So if I went into politics, like
I would be like, I'll be your decision guy.
Yeah. Do you know what I mean?
I'll make decisions. What sort of decisions you what
are some Andrew Ryan policies? Is there anything you would go
when you would be on your mandate?
First thing first, adult only cafes.
Well that's then putting people like me out.
I've got to take my kids all cafes.
Do you need to go to the the Kiddie Cafe?
I don't talk about dogs. They're loading the cafe.
Dogs allowed in, yeah. They're not adults like.
Dogs. Dogs alone there's.
A dog as an adult. But I also think to an extent,
people shouldn't bring dogs in there.
Just because you can't doesn't mean you.
Should, if you get, if you get caught drunk driving, three
years in prison. OK.
Would you bring back the death penalty?
No, because nobody should. No state should have the right
over someone's life, irrespective of what crimes have
done. OK.
And what would you, what would your response be to Penal
Reform? Would you be like in the
restorative justice or would you be into the more sort of
punitive measures? Start off a punitive, see how
they react. But do you think that people can
be rehabilitated or you think they should still do their their
time? I think if you get sentenced to
two years in prison, you should do two years in prison.
Yeah, and people say like, you get time off for good behaviour.
Well, what bad behaviour can I do in this fucking 6 by 10
satellite? I can do plenty of bad
behaviour. Let me show you, you know.
What I mean, I also think that I would increase taxes, OK,
everybody say if you're, if you're in the 20% tax bracket,
your tax will go up to 22 1/2%. And that 2 1/2 percent is
guaranteed to go to increase the wages of healthcare workers to
make healthcare more of an attractive job.
And then what you do is you put a care assistant on 40 grand a
year and watch everybody flock to those jobs, which means
people get better care. So more tax, more wages.
That's very good. And also people who are on
minimum wage are allowed to abuse members of the Coast
public. I would I would like to see.
I vote for that. If you put up with, if you're on
minimum wage and a customer's route when you're going to buy a
coffee and staff members on minimum wage and the customers,
the customers route to the staff member, staff member has a legal
obligation where they can say, you know what, just fuck off.
I'm a minimum wage, I've got extra rights.
I can be rude, I like that. Any other question?
You previously talked about running for.
Yes, I have is. This maybe the start of your.
I actually would run, I'd love to, I would be interested in it
maybe like, and I wouldn't like if I ran as I think you have to
run as a gift to run as a counsellor for no, you know, you
can run as an MGS, as an independent or would you join a
party that's three grand to run and I need what, 20 signatures?
So what I would do is I get all you guys to help me and then
we'll run an actual serious campaign.
But like, you know, I would be very pro school integration.
I would be a increase the wages for the NHS by increasing taxes
and. Would you, would you give any
tax breaks to sort of them the middle working classes of people
because I think they're the ones that always get hit?
The other ones always get hit. Yeah, yeah.
Well, I would probably get try and get people to pay more tax
first of all and then I would try and invest in in deprived
areas more to get to break the cycle of poverty.
I would incur if I was on your team, I'd be trying to encourage
people to to work because I feel like that's the thing that the
current way the benefit system is sometimes you can get
penalised if you take away 16 hour job, you know your benefits
get cut. I would still have it whereby
your. Threshold is to work.
Money and your benefits. You're maybe getting a little
bit more overall, but less benefits.
You've got to get people to wake up in the morning to know that
they're going to be protected and supported respective of what
they do, but also have to get to get to take the pistol going to
be screwed, yeah. So you'd be a wee bit of it,
you'd be a little bit of a dictator.
I wouldn't know What David what? A little bit, little bit.
No, I wouldn't what I'm saying because.
What you're saying is if they take the piss, which means if
they don't agree. With you, no one to just take
the pisses and commit crime or stuff like that.
What sort of things would you consider consider a crime?
Would you decriminalise certain things?
Like what about your approach on drugs?
We'll see. I would legalise some drugs to
take to to get back resources we deserve everywhere.
Now let's legalise it. Let's take away the taxes, the
surprise about it. Let's take away the oh, look at
me and smoke and we learned like let's normalise you normalise
it. The excitement's gone.
People then don't think they're being cool and when something's
normal. So I would tax it.
Do what to do in America have a couple of shops where you can
sell it be over 80. Let's just like Viagra weed,
just sell it. Together I'll be
counterproductive. No, but you know what I mean.
Just do do. It like this you'd be hard at
the base but soft. But you'd be happy to be very
happy. Like stuff like that.
Like. Any any others?
No, everyone's just happy to vote for Andrew.
Everyone's vote for what you call your party.
I don't know, like the the good faith party or something, but I
actually like, you know what, as an, as an experiment, and I
would love to run as an as an MLA, but approach somebody to
document it for a documentary, but actually take it seriously.
Like I know Mike Nets, but you know, the health secretary, I
remember saying something to what I said, whatever you do,
man, just pay them because you've got to pay them first.
And if you've got happy staff and people, people want to work
in that industry and that industry is attracting people in
because you're paying them, then the more staff you have, the
more you can find solutions. You'll never fix the hazard.
I hate all these politicians Go, we're going to fix the health
service bullshit. Tell me time when it was, tell
me, tell me, tell me when it was perfect.
Tell me when it was fixed. And that's never been fixed.
You can't fix it. What you can do is you can make
it better by getting the right people in and slowly making
progress. Would you get there?
Any health professionals in to help you?
With that, I would probably ask, you know.
You wrap up a calories questionnaire and spreadsheet
you'd love for what you do. Turn around to them and say get
doctors, get nurses, get care assistants, get cleaners in and
say, right, what do you need in your department?
Well, we need staff, right? What's what's stopping people
from joining that money, right? Money.
Everything comes out to money. Give them the fucking money.
You know another thing I don't like about the NHS may point out
any doctors less than the way you speak.
The nurses and staff. Yeah, rude.
Be the poor polite. Sort your bedside manner so.
Your bedside manner. This is my thing, I'm going to
send this. You are going to be allowed buy
and sell politicians like footballers.
OK, So if we go or Finland, they've got really good health
service, right? Let's put a bid in for the
Finland health minister, man or woman, whoever it is.
Five year deal, come over, you got five years to help, to help.
I mean we buy and sell them like footballers.
So like you get a French guy in to do tourism or something if
they've got if our people can't do it, get fucking by him.
Get him in like Elon Musk an American.
No, like he's advising the but Elon Musk in America's advising
Trump. You know Musk is South African
like. Yeah.
But I mean, we'll see how that plant pans out.
We'll see how that. Goes not going to go well.
Listen. But we'll see.
We'll see. I think my.
Cryptos up there you. Go, guys.
Is it down to that? This is.
For Andrew Ryan, number one man, never listen to your ears for
all people. Did you just do it a wee bit of
like reggae there? Yeah.
I've been a little monster around on a big man in the
house, son. But I'll tell you something, if
I got if I got elected as an MLA installment, my speeches be
fucking hilarious like. Yeah, up, Adam Put to be coming
down on you. Can you imagine the first
Southerner in a in its instalment?
Well, I mean, said champagne, my friends.
No southerner born in the South. What is there a S parties?
It's what you believe. I see my views on that.
Listen guys, this has been a lot of fun.
Thanks very much for tuning in. Hopefully Shane will be back
with you. Tomorrow, hope he's all.
Being well, and if not, I'm sure there'll be some other fun guy
or or gal gal coming in to fill in but listen guys, this is
running all week from. Same time. 11:11.
Tomorrow also tickets for the SSC show have been extended.
Their extra tickets on available to buy now.
Tickets for the SSE on the Twin. 3rd of May. 3rd of May, 23rd of
May yeah, on the 23rd of May this year, tickets are
available. I'm sure they're in the
available final link in the description of the podcast.
Check that out and keep an eye and.
If you know anybody in London, Glasgow, Aberdeen, Leeds,
Liverpool, not Limerick, Brighton, Guildford and
Strabane. Tickets Day this is.
February for that on andrewryancomedy.com/for number
one. There you go for #1 Thanks very
much guys. It's been a pleasure until.
On a while you heard me, Margaret.
Absolutely, whatever, he said.