I'm Michael Che and I'm Colin Joseph, and we've got a little
secret. Actually, it's a pretty big
secret. Well, now you got to give the
people something. I'm not saying a word.
Oh, then people will know to tune in.
Come on, tell them a little like how we're hosting of comedy
events streaming only on Peacock.
Exactly how it's called New York After dark.
And it's a comedy show that only features drop in comic boom, you
nail into Michael Chase phone numbers.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, New York After Dark.
It's some kind of comedy thing, and it's streaming now only on
Peacock. You love it.
Zippers, welcome to this spooky Halloween episode of the Tea
With Me podcast. As you can see, I'm in fancy
dress. I've dressed up as an attractive
man. You know, that's what it goes
every year and that's why I always win the competition
price. What?
One year whenever I was in primary school, we were allowed
to dress up for Halloween and I dressed up as Father Todd, which
was a hilarious play on Father Ted and I thought I was assert
to win. How do we outfit on?
How do we went down with a wee Bible?
I had the collar. It was all good.
And then I didn't even place in the top three.
I was like, this is bullshit and the teacher's like, there's
nothing scary about your outfit. You're dressed as a priest.
And with hindsight, I would argue I maybe should have won
Zeppers. It's a spooky Halloween
spectacular episode, Is it? Or if I decided at the last
minute it's a Halloween episode, who knows?
Who knows? But look, Halloween is a good
time. I think people are going to get
really freaky this year because, you know, we're having Halloween
at home. We're in the middle of this
pandemic. Nobody's allowed out.
Nobody's going to the bars, nobody's Halloween.
Ryman, if you see, honestly, I mean this when I said if any
kids come to your door, trick or treating from the place,
honestly, because on if they have masks on for dinner for a
distance, maybe they have like a big extendable plastic arm that
you can put money on and they can retract it, then that's
fine. But if any kids come to your
door, just trick or treat with no masks on.
Yeah, just phone the police immediately, not the emergency
number. And hopefully they'll go to
portal for that. It's, it's a good it's a good
time. I mean, I'm not a, I'm not a big
Halloween guy. I'm not really a big Halloween
guy. I've never carved a pumpkin for
toxic and I'm not in Halloween because I'm not really, I don't,
I don't like to scare myself. You know, Halloween, it's all
but ghost stories, scary films. And I don't like that because
here's the thing, I'm 32, right? But I, and I'll openly say this
on the podcast, I won't spend a lot of time at the bottom of my
bed with exposed legs. Do you remember that?
I, I don't run and jump into bed anymore, but at the same time, I
won't loiter at the bottom of my bed just in case an uncle
reaches a hand out and grabs my ankle.
That's my #1 feat. Like I, I don't like Halloween
because I don't know for sure that there's nobody under my
bed. It's happened before, it'll
happen again. But Halloween, I mean, are
people doing parties at home? I don't know.
I don't, I don't have the only memories I have really of
Halloween or Halloween rhyming, which I enjoyed.
We talked about earlier in the week of the podcast.
I made the point that you've got to do the proper Halloween
rhyme, otherwise, you know, otherwise you don't deserve
anything done. Whenever you were a young a
young boy growing up in Oma, did you Halloween rhyme?
No, never. You never Halloween, right?
Why? Is it because you like?
Did you live more in the countryside?
Yeah, I've said the town. So by the time you got to your
neighbour door, you're absolutely punctured.
Halloween round. And what did you get?
20P and a stitch because I had to walk 18 miles to the nearest
house. You never Halloween round.
No, never. I've never even heard of the
rhyme until this week and episode.
Until the podcast, yeah. Oh, wow.
Do you feel like you missed out? Do you feel like there's any
part of your childhood that? No, I think I'm all right.
Do you think next year might be the year where you just get a
scream mask on and just head around Belfast City centre?
Standard weekend, right? With a knife, any cash Halloween
rhyme was fun because you knew straight away if it was going to
be a good time or not. And Mike Halloween rhyme in
Hollywood was a big deal. Cash, cash mom.
I mean, yeah, Halloween right in Hollywood is better than
anywhere because you know, you would go to a house expecting
20P and you would get 3 grand. You would get 3 grand on a
second hand mark and you're like, I'm it, I don't need this.
And the guy would go made us no good to me.
It's clogging up space in my driveway.
Halloween rhyme in Hollywood was caught.
You were called a guy's house. And instead of getting like an
apple because some people used to just give you like an apple,
like an old lady would give you an apple call to someone's house
in Hollywood. The guy would be like, listen,
do you fancy some duck ragu in a takeaway thing on real Halloween
rhyme in Hollywood Halloween rhyme in Hollywood Just kids
walking about chipping pen machine, taking PayPal, taking
all kinds of payments. I want to look out for this
episode. I want to.
I'm a little bit off balance here starting off because I'm
driving my dad's car at the minute because my car is getting
fixed and a builder. Here's the thing, my dad's cars
an automatic and I have never really driven automatic apart
from when I'm in America and I say that like I'm in America
every other week. Twice I've driven an automatic
and I was driving out of the driveway today and all I have to
do is like a small 3 point turn and there was a builder walking
past at the same time and I hit the brake instead of the
accelerator. So the car went like this and
then I was like oh shit and I did exactly the same thing
again. The builder saw me as a damsel
in distress and started to direct me out of my own driveway
to just get out of my own driveway.
And I was like, I was so flustered.
I was going to wind down the window and go first time driving
automatic. And that would have meant he
knew what the crack was, but he thought I just couldn't drive.
And I kept hitting the brake and going for I'm just looking at
this man like going forward and he's like waving me out.
And I'm like, mate, I am. I understand the objective is
for me to get out of my dry. All you're doing is waving me
out of my driveway and why do you want me to leave my
driveway? So I just felt very emasculated,
very emasculated by that. And because he was a builder and
stuff, I just, I just felt very vulnerable and and it took me
about 17 minutes to do a three-point turn to get away.
So what I want to do in this episode, by the way, before we
go any further, I want to thank one one of the main seppers.
I want to thank Owen Murray from Murray's Painting and decorating
for for just giving us a mug that says Murray's Painting and
decorating. Sep, Sep.
And I, I enjoy that a lot. I enjoy that zippers are sending
in bespoke mugs to us. So if you want to send, people
have emailed us before saying can we send you stuff?
And if you do want to send this anything, as long as it's not a
chimp, you know, like a chimpanzee for example, like we
would not know between us how to raise a chimpanzee at all.
We're not actually at the office very often, but we have an
address now where if you want to send something we can pick it
up. So the address is 120 High St
Hollywood BT189-H hang on BT189HW120 High St Hollywood
BT18 9HW Don't double check down because that is what it is that
I'm not just giving out a random post code.
And you can address it to what do we call?
You can address it to you can address it to 1 LONE space L if
you want to send us anything. And I don't know, I've gone to
the length of stand up because no one will ever send us
anything. So what I want to do is look at
some classical stories because you know, it's a spooky time of
year. I like Halloween when people
will be more open to the paranormal because one of the
weird things I find about the paranormal, you know, when
people say they've seen ghosts and all that kind of thing, one
thing I find weird about that is you haven't, you know, it's
interesting that people will tell you that when they've seen
a ghost. But then it's also interesting
that, you know, you also are fully aware that they haven't
ever seen a ghost. Because here's the thing, nobody
has ever seen a ghost. It's not, you know, when
someone's like, I felt a presence, I always think I am
feeling also a presence of a fucking lunatic because there
isn't a thing like if there was a ghost, why has it not been on
camera by now? You know, I mean, like if there
was a ghost, it would be the most unbelievable thing in the
history of the world of all time.
It'll be the most amazing thing in history if someone had come
back to life and manifested themselves in this world.
It hasn't happened. And the thing about it is I
understand like people like want, you know, like want to
feel something and who am I to be like that didn't happen.
But at this at the same time, chances are when someone's like,
no, I was standing in a field at 2:00 AM And then my first
thought is why we standing that you're doing something weird and
someone will be like. And I felt a breath on my
shoulder. And that was that was that was
Elvis Presley's way of telling me that he's with me.
And part of me is going, but could it not have been the wind,
you know, But and then the person will be like, no, because
I've had the breath on my shoulder.
And then I heard that's what I'm like, Oh, that is hard to
explain. That probably was the King
himself. I read about Elvis Presley
recently that he only performed once outside of America.
Isn't that weird? He performed in Canada once
because apparently his manager said like, oh, you know, just
concentrate on here and you don't need to be going anywhere
else. The shows won't be as good and
just stay here because his manager was worried that, you
know, he's got to be signed by somebody else or he's going to
be too big for him to manage. I'm not, in a lot of ways,
reminds me of that. So I have some Northern Ireland
ghost stories here, some genuine accounts on the Culture of
Northern website of spooky stories that have happened.
So I will tell you whether these are real or not.
Let's just go into it. John St, demolished during the
construction of Royal Ave in the 1880s, connected Donegal St.
The North St, one of the old streets country type houses was
said to have been haunted by the ghost of an elderly woman.
It always is. It's never a 23 year old guy.
Ghosts are always an elderly woman.
They're never an athletic hunk. It was claimed the ghost three
items of pottery and furniture around the back downstairs room
and on one occasion wrecked everything in the yard.
One of the residents later claimed to have seen what
appeared to have been an old woman walking up and down the
backroom talking to herself. In May 1882, workmen laid new
laid new pipes and sewers. They discovered the bones of an
old woman which had laid buried for a number of years.
The bones were removed and buried in the Union graveyard
and the hauntings were never heard of again.
And so the thing about that is like the thing about that it now
that has freaked me out just a wee bit because that would be
the worst kind of no, when the world I was going to say the
worst kind of ghost to see would be an old woman, but it wouldn't
categorically the worst kind of ghost to see would be like a
toddler, like no, like older than a thought, like a six year
old child. Like my fear is because I've had
nightmares about this before, not like regularly, but you
might like imagine you go to imagine this, right?
Imagine you, you hear something in the night or you freaked out
or whatever. And you go down to downstairs in
your house and on the in the hallway, you just see this boy
with his back to you and he's just looking at a wall.
Like he's not looking like not even watching TV.
He's just looking at a wall and he's just standing there.
And you go, you all right, mate? And imagine he turned around and
says yes, thanks and it's you when you were younger or even
freakier, imagine if it's your face.
No, imagine if you walk down your stairs to see you.
And what would make way more free and dressed as a Victorian
like in Victorian times gear. You alright mate?
And then you turn around and go, yeah, I'm that I'll mate.
Just a Victorian ghost here, mate.
I would hate that so much because I would hate that
because my #1 reflex would because it would freak me out so
much and I feel like on the ghost and I'm in danger.
I would I would probably fly kick the boy.
That's me being honest. I would probably do a kick to
the boy and then I would feel really bad if the police and
later told me, listen, he just lives down the street from you
and he got confused and he ended up in your eyes.
He just got confused. He sleepwalked, he sleepwalks.
He just, he went you then lock your front door and he was just
trying to get out and kick them in the head.
Why have you done that? And I go, but maybe stress as a
Victorian boy, the place will be like, no, he's just wearing
white pyjamas. He's just wearing pyjamas.
You know, he's wearing some mom's Navy.
That's why. That's why this Halloween,
you've got to be careful. You've got to be on alert.
Make sure that it is a ghost year, but the kick and not just
a lost boy, you know. So that's one to look out for.
But the idea that an old woman would, you know, wreck a
backyard and stuff like a wheel woman, probably not, you know
what I mean? She'd be free.
Although it's Belfast, you know, it's Belfast, you know, Belfast
old women are kind of because my granny was, you know, a Belfast
old woman and, and Belfast old women are tough, you know, I
mean, they're strong. So could I see, could I have
seen my granny back in the day throwing about some pottery?
Yes, in the right circumstance, 100%.
But the idea that see, I don't like that, the idea that they're
like, oh, we've dug up these bones and we've moved them
somewhere else now and now everything's fine.
You know, the idea of a haunted house is just not, it's not
really a thing. And why were these workmen big
skirt boys, you know, as well? Why were they like just need to
cut this out of here and move it away?
We're not doing this job. You know, I just, I just don't,
I don't believe that. I think the yard, if I'm being
honest, I think the house was wrecked, was trashed because
someone, someone had, you know, was like maybe buying gear and a
deal has gone wrong and someone's wrecked their house.
You know, I mean, it's very easy to be like, you know, if the
reality was somebody in 1884 or whatever was buying a bit of
what would the gear have been back then, you know, buying a
bit of snuff powder and then a dealers come to their house.
What was what was gear back then?
I don't know. Yeah, opium or.
Something opium that's got very wide there.
Yeah, somebody was probably, somebody probably in that house
bought opium and then a dealers come around to their house on a
unicycle. That's how people got around
back then. How much would you not have
respected drug dealers back then?
When the guy comes around with a monocle and a cycle and a
leather satchel of opium, he's come round and he's like,
where's my money? And like, he probably, it
probably wasn't good swear words like you wouldn't have been like
worth my money. That can he be like, good Sir,
you've besmirched me. Where's the money for this?
Where's the coin for this opium? And then the guy's like, man, I
don't have your money. And the guy's trashed the place
and then his mum and dad have come down and I'm like, what's
happened here? What's happened here?
And he's gone. There was a wee old woman
talking to herself and the reality was he was just trying
to buy gear. Scotty shoe at Grand Central
Hotel. The Grand Central Hotel stood on
the site of the now occupied Castle Court.
Would you know, it's really freaky.
I've seen the Grand Central Hotel and I because people are
saying here this was in the 19 Fourteens and I actually, this
is really freaky, but I was what?
The night. Yeah, no, not the 19 Fourteens,
but they're banned. But I have actually seen the
Grand Central Hotel recently. So it used to be where Castle
Court is, but I have seen it and that might be like a spirit
appearing to me, but I'm convinced I've seen a 70 five
Storey structure called the Grand Central Hotel and it used
to be where Castle Court is. It was reputedly haunted by one
of its original gas fitters nicknamed Scotty Shoe.
For sure a Belfast Gas fit was called Scotty Shoe and the
reason he was called that was because he was from Scotland and
he wore shoes. All right, now, what's your name
and all? All right, pal, I'm Scotty.
So you're wearing shoes here. You know what we're calling him
Scotty shoes. During the First World War the
hotel was request re questioned by the British Army.
Requisitioned by the British Army on the night of 26th of May
1914, it was Eternal William Jenkins, the garrison's
commanding officer, to patrol the building.
A short time later the men were alarmed by the sound of Jenkins
screaming in the upper floors and discovered him lying at the
foot of the stairs, nervous and shaking because he bought opium
from a guy on the unicycle back of his quarters.
Jenkins told him he had been confronted by the figure of a
man moving towards him. Seconds later he knew what he
was seeing was not real as the lower part of the figures legs
seemed to be through the floor. Well I still don't know why
Scotty why this original gas fitter was called Scotty Shoe.
Also the original gas fitter, a far better nickname than Scotty
Shoe, the original gas fitter. And see, these aren't, these
aren't making the hairs in the back of my neck stand up.
I need something that's going to really, really get me going.
Oh, the Sandy Ro ghost story. A thoroughfare of Sandy Row is
almost as old as the town of Belfast itself.
In 1879, a coal Porter named James Aitchison and his family
moved into #60 Sandy Row and soon felt uneasy in their new
home. The 8 year old daughter slept in
a back upstairs room and occasionally she woke up in the
middle of the night screaming. When her parents rushed in, she
claimed to have seen a strange man in her bedroom.
When when the artisan family moved elsewhere, the house was
occupied by a labourer named Laurie carrying out repairs in
his backyard, he noticed an elderly man standing at the
bottom of his ladders. He called to the man and
received no reply. But when he began to come down
the ladders, the elderly man disappeared before his eyes.
You're right there, man. The shit is ghost stories of
that. It probably was just some old
look in the neck, a ladder and realising there's a fella at the
top of it. How you say?
Derelict for a number of years until at the turn of the century
the Ashwood family converted it into a hairdresser's.
Workmen reported seeing the figure of a man in the backyard
but when they went out to investigate and the one was
there. If these are the same Workman
from the House of the Old Lady, these are just cowboy builders
just delaying the build. A 77 year old man named Corbett
had lived in the house for much of the last century.
Corbett was said to be doting and Julia's unusual behaviour
became very well known through Sandy Row.
In 1876 his housekeeper's son returned from work and he was
sitting down for a meal. He inquired where his seat was.
His mother informed him Corbett had took it out to the backyard
to do something and then it must still be out there.
The man went out to search for the chair and saw it lying at
the backyard wall. When he went to get it, he saw
Corbett hanged inside an enclave on a crook in the wall.
I mean, that's a red ghost story.
It's just fucking grim, right? Last one, the railway ghost of
Ballymacarat 1N evening at the turn of the 20th century.
A signal man coming off duty on the County Down railway.
Walk through dense fog on the railway track above the winding
streets in Bali. My car.
I used to play indoor football on Monday nights.
Makes it even spooky. 9 until 10.
I used to play in another class so I So this makes it this
opposite a bit because I've been in this place.
The 730 Bangor train had just passed along the line when he
heard someone not far behind them, and eventually he could
make out the figure of a woman approaching through the fog.
The signal man and young woman made their way back to the
station together, where he bade the woman goodnight and signed
off for work before making his way to the Arrow Bar at
Bridgend. Here, Maybe at the Arrow bar at
Bridgend. That sounds class Bridgend.
Now it's just there's nothing there fucking the Arrow Bar.
Once in the pub, he recounted the story to another railway
worker. 1 was startled to hear him say the woman had given her
name as Hanvi and told the company about an incident that
took place in 1896 when a local man stumbled upon the mutated
remains of a young woman lying scattered over the railway
junction. The body was later identified as
that of Catherine Hanvi, a single woman of around 30 years
of age who had worked as a domestic servant in a house in
the Lisburn Rd. The inquest verdict recorded the
Katherine handvy on the Hollywood and Bangor branch of
the Belfast, encountered on railway, came to her death from
injuries received caused by an engine and train passing over.
That one is actually pretty scary, like that one is
relatively scary. But what you know, do you know
what? Can I just do something really
quick, call Dave Elliot? I'm going to ask Dave to tell me
if he picks up, he might not want to, but Dave has one of the
scariest Halloween ghost stories of all time and I don't know if
he'll tell me this will. This will honestly put chills of
people. Baby, could you do me a favour
while I'm on the podcast right now?
Could you do me a favour? We're talking about ghost
stories and I've read these like Halloween ghost stories.
None of them are that scary. Could you, could you just like
really quickly tell me what happened to you?
Just like even a short version of it if that's OK.
Well, Long story short, basically moved in the new house
and went up, left some stuff at the house and there's an old
woman who lived in the house next door and she was like,
don't move in there. And I was like, why?
And she was like, it's haunted. And then obviously I just
smacked her, went in anyway. And as I went in, I was fine,
ignored it, left all my stuff, thought you know what, new
house, let's go and celebrate. So went out for a few drinks and
say few drinks, got pretty, pretty drunk in fairness.
And and you know, that's when I was young once many minutes ago.
And after that came back to the house, obviously, because that's
where I lived now, you know, and, and basically passed out
sleep and just woke up in the middle of the night.
I just heard this like strange noise.
I was like, Oh, no, what's up? And like, look at the bottom of
bed. I can sort of sense a presence
and noise and look at the bottom of bed and there's this like
ghost there. And I was like, Oh my God, I was
frozen with fear. Didn't know whether it was like
the fear or like the drink, But either way, I couldn't move.
And I just, I just, all I could do is speak.
And I looked at the ghost went, are you a ghost?
And then the ghost went, I mate, I went, oh, no.
And then I just sort of lay there in silence.
And then the ghost spoke again. He was like, mate, I'm just
taking your TV, OK. I went, yes, whatever you need.
And then and he left and I say, oh, no, fell back asleep again.
And about like 10 minutes, I saw the vision again and he come
back and he was like, hey, I brought any of the TV remote for
that TV and all I went, yeah, it's just they're talking.
And he took it and went. And that was basically my my one
and only experience of the ghost.
And then I was so terrified I woke up the next morning and
checked on the TV and remote was gone.
I'm a PlayStation, I'm a car as well.
So. There's a poltergeist.
Yes, it was.
It was whatever it was. It took a lot of my stuff and
needed us for the afterlife, clearly.
And I also did find like a way, you know, blunt and like a roll
up joint on the ground and an empty bottle of Old English
cider as well, which was pretty creepy.
What do you think he was trying to tell?
Maybe he was an old the ghost of an old English man.
I think he maybe he, maybe he was or otherwise he was just, I
don't know, maybe like he saw I was having a party that night
and he just maybe wanted to get involved in his own ghost way or
whatever. Can I, can I just, can I just
ask you Lastly, like was he dressed?
And a lot of stories were written here like people are
like Victorian times people. Was he dressed and like all
Victorian robes or what way would he have been dressed?
No, he was, he was wearing. So he does track suits and he
had Reebok Classics on as well, right?
So. Yeah.
Did you ever hear anything more from him?
No. No, actually it didn't, but it
was weird because, you know, like ghosts are normally like
the wood kind of just like appear through walls and stuff.
Yeah. He broke the the windowpane on
the front door and like, just let himself in by turning the
lock. It's crazy that.
Is crazy. Thanks for telling me that
story. I'll be, I'll be vigilant in
case he comes to hold me. Definitely, definitely do,
because the thing about it is where is it?
Where are you recording the podcast today?
Hollywood. It was in.
Hollywood. Oh, shit.
All right, we'll look, we'll get this wrapped up, base up and get
out of here. But cheers for that.
Be safe guys. Bye.
All right. Thanks, brother.
I mean, that's a haunting tale for sure.
Thanks very much, Dave, for that.
Zippers. Let me really quickly interrupt
the podcast to tell you we have a new sponsor for the Friday
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Sweets. This whole I asked listeners for
questions, I asked listeners for their own Halloween haunted
tales and if anyone had seen or or heard anything freaky.
And Speaking of freaks, Matthew Merlin gets in touch and says,
oh that oh, wait, hold on. And that my dad just sent me a
text asking if I can get him fruit scones on the way home.
OK, I want like a listener's like OK, so Tom's get Tom gets
in touch and says I've heard there's a couple of ghosts
hanging about her Bernie St toilets in Hollywood.
I mean, they I don't know if there yes, there is a lot of
figures and spirits that do hang around public toilets.
A lot of like the spirits and ghosts of certainly older
gentlemen quite a lot that like to, you know, spend a lot of
time there when I have actually seen a lot of these ghosts
shapeshift through the walls. And what I mean by that is I
have seen shapes come through the wall.
You know, when I have been in these toilets, I have actually
seen these ghosts move themselves through the wall,
like directly where I'm at the toilet.
Like I've seen ghosts sort of come like come through the come
through the wall and they come through like a, a small circle
ship and they try and get themselves through, but they
can't get all themselves through.
Like a lot of times they can only get like a small piece.
Well, sometimes they're small, sometimes they can get a large
piece of themselves and through and sometimes the balls as well.
But that's definitely one to look out for.
Dave sends a message and says before we phone them there and
says, stop sitting on my seat in the studio and tell Dan to get
off my table. So I think he's been, he's been
haunted by the ghost of somebody with a bad attitude.
So Naomi Mitchell, who's a big supper, gets in touch and says
visited A supposedly haunted house years ago.
Story is the family died in a house fire and it's the dad's
angry spirit that terrorises people.
You have to walk up a field to get to the house.
And once I got to the path, I instantly got the feeling I
didn't want to be there. Really horrible vibes.
Kept thinking somebody was following me, hadn't noticed you
around the house. Then heard the sound of someone
running outside, loose stones, pebbles on the ground.
We were all inside. So instantly said fuck off,
Who's that? We were too scared to go out and
look in case a ghost or someone's going to murder us.
We finally made a dash back to the car and never went back
traumatised. And what I like there, it sounds
like you have a real pussy ghost to when you said fuck off the
ghost like all right no worries. Apologies.
I mean it takes a lot to scare a ghost but it sounds like that
work. I went to Donegal whenever
whenever I was about 14 with my family and I went with a friend.
I brought a friend from school as well, the caretaker and he
that's silly. It wasn't it wasn't the master.
No, it was a friend from school and we were in this house and
like my mom and all went into the town and Donegal, I mean, my
mate were just like staying in the house for a couple hours and
I think we like we're sleeping in two separate parts of the
house, whatever the bedrooms went.
And so I was like, I'm gonna go for a sleep here or whatever.
He's like, yeah, me too. And then I would hear this like
knock on my like knock on the front door.
And then I went out and opened the door and there was nobody
there. I closed.
I was like, shit, who's that? Went back in, heard this knock
again. And then about a year later, he
told me that was him. But I went and stood outside the
front of the house and waited till my mother came home.
I waited. And I mean, I should have known
it was him because, you know, he was also in the house and he was
always at the front door whenever I went down there being
like, yeah, who is up? You know, it's the equivalent to
someone on top of your shoulder. You turn on your fucks up.
And Alana says there's a number of places in Northern Ireland
that are said to be haunted by ghosts.
AJ Ballygally, Castle, Beaver Park Hospital, Crumlin Rd Gaol,
the name a few. But would you sleep over in any
of these locations or join a parallel investigation at a
haunted site? And yeah, I mean, I'm kind of
being believed by balls here being like, oh, there's no such
thing as ghosts or spirits at the same time.
Would I sleep over in Croman Rd gaol?
Nope. You know why?
Because I think I would say there's such things ghosts.
And I think I would find out that night that there are
ghosts. So I wouldn't I definitely
wouldn't like to do that. Would I stay over in Beaver Park
Hospital? I mean, if I'd like broke a
machine or something, yes. You know, if it was part of the
treatment, but ordinarily I wouldn't, I wouldn't do that.
I don't know, like it takes a lot to because I'm like, you
know, a tough man. It takes a lot to physic that
actually scare me. But I think if you're in that
environment of like Crumlin Rd gaol when they're doing the
haunted tours, I would be made. I, you can make me jump pretty
easy. You know what I mean?
So I think if I was staying there and I heard a totally
normal noise, I think I'd be way more paranoid and way more
alert. But would I do a paranormal
investigation? Yes.
Should we do that as like a vlog for the podcast?
Yes, I would be with someone. Show me a ghost.
Get in touch with the podcast. Show us paranormal activity.
Please not the film. Imagine we went for a paranormal
tour and it was just some fellow showing us paranormal activity
and DVD and socks. Watch us here for the freaky
out. Have you ever seen a ghost?
If you yourself were a ghost, what location in Northern
Ireland would you choose to haunt?
You can only haunt one place for your whole ghost life.
Umm, where? Where would I haunt?
I was going to say like my own house because I want to still be
around the family. But then I'll be sly, you know?
My granny just always say she will come back and haunt me like
just for no reason. I always thought that was pretty
terrifying. Umm, that isn't a question.
Barra gets in touch, stand along the freaky theme and says can
you talk a little bit about the impact and readiness
requirements for negative interest rates on the banks?
Thanks. Can I talk a little bit about
it? Yes, I think it wouldn't be
good. So that's me talking a little
bit about it. And I don't understand that.
I mean, I don't understand anything.
We got a letter to the office here that seemed to make a lot
of sense and I had to give it the mic and go.
Will you make sense of this? Because I don't understand that
even though it was, there was, there was an explanation page
with the letter. So there we go.
Ryan Bell, big new car, son. Go on.
Because I posted a video asking for questions in a car.
I'm driving the dad's car. I don't have a new car.
Scooter's new song. We already talked about that.
Brandon Gryphon says is chivalry dead.
Also, when is Filthy's back open?
I mean, I don't know if I'd put those two things together, you
know, because Brandon's like, is chivalry dead?
When can I get back in the Filthy's to practise chivalry?
A chivalry dead. I think if you're on the date on
the scene again now, I imagine people would find all
traditional chivalry and courtship like really weird and
gross. You know what I mean?
Like, I think because they're likes a tender nowadays.
I think if you you know, I mean, if you said to Someone Like You
know, you'd like to take them out for like a meal and you
know, take things slow, I think people be like, are you some
sort of weird sex pervert? You know, I think almost now
it's like you people get to the point a lot quicker and there's
less of a there's less of a courtship nowadays.
It just it feels like that maybe that isn't the case, but I don't
think chivalries there. But then again, if you did
something like old school, like if you sent roses to a girl's
house, I think she would immediately phone the place and
be like, there is some creep sending flowers to my house.
That kind of thing you don't do anymore.
But but that's like an old style thing.
Like I said in the podcast before, like if you wanted to be
cool in the like 60's, the 50s, maybe even the 70s, and you wore
like some mad outfit. People were like this guy so
cool. He's wearing like big flares.
You have some sort of mad haircut.
You weren't a big like mad jacket.
You know, the idea of cool back then was like, maybe guys are
like disco danced or whatever, but that wasn't cool.
It was just that there was no social media so people couldn't
very quickly tell you you look like a twat.
It just it took so long for the news to philtre back to you that
people thought you looked like a fucking nerd.
The people were like, hey, I'm going to go out to it like, you
know, like John Travolta on Saturday Night Fever.
Everybody's like, he looks so cool.
He had the big like permed hair at the big, you know, Harry Hill
shirt collar, the bell bottoms on and he's dancing in clubs and
everyone's like he's so cool. It's just that it took about a
year for the word to get back to and everyone's like me.
You look like doughnut here, You know, where's nowadays, you
know, if you even try to put on like some sort, which I have
found out to Mike Detriment, like if you put on some sort of
jacket that people don't like, it takes 9 seconds for people to
be like, what the fuck you doing with your life wearing a cream
denim jacket and television and it hurts.
When's Filthy's back open? I don't, I don't know, believe
it or not, I don't know. I don't have the inside scoop in
that. I missed some questions on the
podcast earlier in the week. Hey, man, that's, that's weird.
Dawson Clown says if there was a Halloween type purge, what would
what would your plan of attack be?
If there was a Halloween style purge?
I would, I would not be attacking.
I'd be defending. You know what I mean?
Like I would, I would probably want to defend.
I would probably start some sort of association to defend.
You know, I would get together with a lot of people that live,
I'd say a lot of people do it like, you know, province by
province. I would get together with a lot
of people in Ulster and I would probably start some sort of
defence association. Do you know what I mean?
Like I would, I would get in touch with people from all walks
of life and be like, do you want to join the Defence Association
of Ulster? You know, that would be my plan
of defence would probably be to start a new group and say,
listen, we're open to everyone. Do you want to join the Ulster
Defence Association? And I think that would be a good
name for it. Or we could call ourselves like
the, because we would hate the fact that people were attacking
us. A word would be irritated would
be like the irritated, the irritated respectable because,
you know, we don't want to go out and fight.
So we're like the irritated respectable association.
So I would also say that I'd say we can either be the Ulster, the
Defence Association of Ulster, or we could be the respected
association of irritated people. So it's one, it's one or two
things. And I got a message.
Oh wow, get ready for this haunted message.
Gary says my mate Kaz is planning for his first comedy
game post locked on Lauren Rugby Club.
Any tips for him? Any tips?
Don't do don't do jokes about COVID or about things that
people think you're going to do jokes about.
Because if you're anyone plans material but locked on all that
kind of thing, you'll be on stage and act on before you will
be thinking they'll also do the same jokes, if that makes sense.
I would say get some get some original jokes.
Don't worry about if it is his first gig.
I don't know this might actually be a piss take and this guy may
be like I'm only joking he's not doing a gig and all he just
thinks he's a comedian. I don't know if you're mate
really is doing a gig and Lauren rugby club but if he is I would
say big dab for kitten. Be confident and don't wear a
cream denim jacket because people will tell you to fuck off
and send you hit messages. Someone says can you follow me
back? No, Davey says on a late no.
I haven't read this beforehand so hopefully it's fine.
One time in a late winter's night deep in County Down,
myself and a few mates were driving home in the early hours
on a very cold but clear night on a small country Rd.
We came around a corner to the most terrifying sight, an old
lady in a dressing going head down just standing there.
Now that does freak me out of it.
Needless to say, we all screamed and nearly shot our boxers.
Shortly after we came across a second car.
They were staffed from the old people's home just down the
road. The poor old lady went for a
stroll. She was fine.
Our nerves were not. Never drove that road again at
night. Yeah, that is.
That is pretty terrifying. But imagine.
Imagine right, if you had helped her back to the to an old
person's home and you know, all the staff were there and you
helped back to the old person's home and you went inside and the
staff were like, you know, do you want to have a meal for
being such great people and you actually spent about nor there
and you know, it was all good. And you, you got her in and you
heard her life story. And, you know, you heard that
she was called like Myrtle, you know, and you made a weak
connection with her. And you're like, listen, Myrtle,
we're happy. You're back home.
And you'd actually never been to this old person's home before.
You didn't even know it was there.
And imagine the next morning you told your parents about it or,
you know, some family and you were like, you don't believe us
and told them about the old person's home.
And then imagine your family when what are you talking about?
There hasn't been an old imagine.
Imagine if only like there hasn't been an old person's home
there since the 1970s or maybe the 50s because that's a scarier
decade. 70s was all dancing and all, you know, could you
imagine? And then you were like, they
were like, no, we met Myrtle. And imagine if they went, no,
the reason there isn't an old people's home there is because
Myrtle killed everyone. That'd be so freaky.
Never drove that road at night again.
I mean, it depends. If it's massively inconvenient,
then I'd say do drive there. I mean, she's probably, you know
what I mean. They're probably going to like
clamped on and or get night now. So someone said Lemfielder
Glentoran. I don't, I don't, I don't
support either side. I don't support either of those
teams. I just like Irish League
football. Leave me alone.
I put a tweet a couple of days ago saying let me commentate on
an Irish League game because Irish League clubs are now
streaming their own games because of COVID and stuff.
And I said let me commentate on a game and Glenavon, Warm Point
and Portadown have come back to me and said let's make it
happen. So I will commentate on their in
house TV channels for a game for all those clubs because they
just really want to do it. Peter Barget says you ever had
any messages from Jimmy Dornan or McElroy about mentioning them
and the Mike McGoldrick skits? You don't know, you know the,
you know, they are, I think doing well enough that they
don't need an extra push from me in my videos.
And, you know, a more likely message would be messages from
them going, hey, can you stop mentioning us in your Mike
McGoldrick skits then? Hey, give us a wee mention here.
And so I haven't. No.
But if I did have to not mention them and Mike McGoldrick skits,
there would be nothing that there would be no McGoldrick
material to talk about, OK? It's just a message about
commentating the Irish League games, OK, Gary Armour says I
know you get a lot of good free training gear, but what is the
weirdest item you've ever been sent by a fan or company?
Or have you got any good stories about weird interactions with
fans? Probably the Murray's painting
and decorating. Sep Sep customised mug.
I wouldn't say it's weird. I would say it's spectacular and
I really like it. And if anybody that listens to
the podcast has a, has a company or a business and you do have
like mugs for the office, you know, if you're like a car
dealer, if you are a drug dealer, if you have, if you sell
opium on a unicycle and you have a mug and you want to send this
at what we're going to do is we're like renovating the studio
in a way. At the minute we're building a
bit of a set. So send us a mug to 120 High St
Hollywood BT18 9HA W 9 HW and and we'll, we'll display them.
Have I ever sent anything really weird?
No, I don't think, I don't think anything really.
I mean, I've definitely had businesses and stuff get in
touch and say, can we send you insert product?
And there's been times before where I've been like, no prob
because it, you know, it wouldn't really make sense.
Like I make jokes about, you know, I'm like, I'm #1
influencer #influencer, bless life.
But at the same time, I think you still do get sent stuff
where people are like, hey, can we send you?
Can we send you our new range of yoghurts made exclusively from
meat? You know, like can we send you
bacon, meat, yoghurt, some startup company in Lisburn.
And I, I mean, that does not that doesn't too bad, but I'll
have to just be like, oh, no, thanks.
If it's something that like I think makes sense for me to do,
then I will I will take it. That's so entitled.
OK, that doesn't make sense. Can't read that.
Or Morrison. Need to get my granny a
Christmas present, but I haven't a baldy.
Any suggestions? If you're going to get your
granny a Christmas present, what do you buy grannies?
I don't know. I don't.
I don't have any grannies. That's the saddest sentence
podcast. I don't have many grannies.
Don't have any granddads either. Cheers.
I don't know. I mean back in the day I never
really went wrong by my granny an ashtray of wherever I was on
holiday. You know, if I was in Tenerife,
I got my granny a wee Tenerife ashtray.
I was in Lanzarote, get away Lanzarote ashtray.
And I don't know if your granny smokes, but if she does just get
her get her class ashtray. Tea with me, mug.
Tea with that's a brand man, that's a company man right
there. shopify.com, we put it in the description of all the
podcasts. We have a merch store with mugs
like this. Look at that tea with me mug.
That's what you do. You get it, you get it for your
granny and then you get her, you get her a money to T-shirt, you
get her a separate T-shirt, you just get her really on board
with this podcast. And then and if she says, do
you, I don't know what a pod, what's a podcast?
I don't listen to that podcast. You go granny, see a fellow who
said he doesn't have any grandparents would just be happy
that you got something because, you know, life is it's better to
have life than be ungrateful for receiving what is actually a
nice small get a pretty reasonable price.
I actually think your granny might like this, but I think
grannies might like this podcast.
You know, sometimes I say something a bit rude or I'll
make a reference to something that they won't get.
But I think grannies would like me.
I think grannies like me. I think I'm all right.
Max Mmacs. I don't know if it's Max or just
Macs. We did a charity read last week
for or earlier in the week for autism and I and Max.
Again, if it's Macs, I apologise, they say.
Shane, this is Matt from Max, a charity based in Belfast
supporting young people across Northern Ireland experiencing
homelessness and or mental health problems.
We have a big event coming up soon.
We'd really appreciate your support, even a quick shout out
in social media. Would it be OK if IE mail you
some info? I mean I thought I'd heard the
podcast last week and this was a thing.
But yes you can send me it but I'll just make people aware of
it now. So Max are, yeah, a charity
supporting children and young people.
They're dedicated to helping people.
It's 6 to 25 who have another fair deal.
Yes, we'll do that on the next podcast.
But and you know, apologies if you didn't mean for me to read
that message, right. But again, I don't think it's
some daily harm because I've just mentioned the charity and
whatever it is you want to send me.
Yes, we'll read it out. And if anybody else has any, you
know, charity shout outs or anything like that, we will
definitely do them because we've been doing those since pretty
much the start of lockdown. I want to talk about that kids
video. You know, that kid who says he's
a busy man? I want to talk about that in a
second. But I'm going to make sure that
because we had some questions earlier in the week that I
didn't get around asking. Yeah, we've got to talk about
that kids video. It's one of the funniest things
we've ever seen in my life. Hang on.
Oh, Jesus Christ tonight. OK, Right.
Yes, Liam says. Did you visit the East Belfast
GA club and I don't, Well, they don't have, I don't think they
have a clubhouse. So I didn't visit the club, but
I did gigs for East Belfast GA club just before the 2nd
shutdown type thing. But I haven't visited E Belfast
GA club probably will. Maybe I would take in a game at
some point. Yeah, sure, maybe that was all
the Yeah, maybe that was all the questions, right?
We've got to talk about this kids video.
So how do I find, I don't know, I don't know how basically right
to set this up. I don't know if we can play it
or not, but there's a kid in Northern Ireland who I don't
know if he's 678. I don't it's hard to know what
age when, when people aren't toddlers and they're not
teenagers. I'm like, I have no idea.
And I say that as a father of a young child.
I mean, I don't even know what age he is, but this kid
basically is talking to his mom about all the jobs he has on.
And you know, he's clearly like, listen to I know that it's dad
or someone in his family who who's like a Workman and he's
going through all these jobs and and in it he says, I'm a busy
man. And unless all these jobs.
And there's nothing funnier than that.
Like you could write comedy sketches.
You do all that kind of thing. But when you have a kid who is
deadly serious about the work that he's doing, like he firmly
believes he's doing all this. And he's like mentioning he's
like local characters. No more so than Ronan
Michaeliski, Ronan Mcalesky, Ronan Mcalesky in the video, the
kids like, I'm heading up here, do some work for Ronald
Mikaliski and even the mum who's Ronald Mikaliski, and he's like,
sure, Ronald Mikaliski up a road.
And then I think I saw in the Irish news that they are they
contacted Ronald Mikaliski and Ronald Mikaliski.
It's like, yeah, my wife showed me the video and yeah, it's
pretty funny. And apparently it turns out
Ronald Mikaliski, it's just like a guy that died by his building
supplies off and a kid just really loved Ronan Mccallowski.
And that is so funny because as a kid, there were these like as
a as a young boy, there were these mates of your dad's or
people you knew that you were just like, you were just like
into you were into them as a person.
You know, you were just like you pick up on someone.
And it was never like, it was never like an uncle or it was
never someone that was like your dad's best mate, but you would
like meet this person and then be so inquisitive about this
person. And I think as a kid, you always
use their full name, you know, I mean, like Ronald McCullough ski
up the road. I don't know.
There's just something about that that I really enjoy.
I think. Let's watch, let's get the video
done. Were you looking at it there?
No. No, I'm looking for it.
Looking for it, how would I find it?
Busy. I'm a busy.
I'm just going to search. I'm a busy man and of course
it's already there. It's like something people have
searched a lot. I think I have it.
What did you search for to get it?
What's the? What's the channel?
I've got it on. Facebook.
Oh, I've got it, I've got it. Sorry, I've got it.
Right. So here we go.
Let's just play this. What's peak about this is that
the kid is wearing an O'Neill's sports tub and it's got tractors
on it. And I'm like, has he had that
designed himself? Has he custom designed that
himself? And he's like, I'm in the two
things. I'm in the O'Neill's gear and
I'm in the tractors. Let's do a brand club here.
I mean, you know, nobody under 60 should say it's a queer day
for the concrete. That's somebody who's just what
I love most about as well as he's not like performing.
He's not like trying to get a laugh.
He just in his head, he's like, I have all this work on and no
wonder he's like he says he's a busy man in the video because
he's doing 20 things. I mean it made me feel like
shit. I need to get more syndicate and
do more work around the house. I need to go and get the kids on
my car because I don't have that such a kid lie.
I just bought a new car there. Putting up barbed wire,
strimming hedges, I mean even just one of those job would have
me working for a week. If I was strimming hedges, I'd
take two weeks off. He's strimming hedges, he's
getting windows put in their house, he's getting a licence
for a car. And my best favourite ones
coming up, it's just where he's like going down to Dublin to
look at the tiger. He's going to Dublin to look.
He's not even committed to buy it.
He's willing to just, he's also fitting in this day a trip to
Dublin to look at it. I mean, why is he not just
looking online and getting pictures of it and understanding
the spec and being like, OK, yes, I'll buy that.
By the way, he's like, I'm going to look at a Digger 20 LB with
him. I have no doubt that this kid
would be able to negotiate 20 LB for buying a tractor.
He's just such a good talker. He talked the guy into it.
He's going to John Paul's that they go to drains and John Paul
doesn't even know drains are about to be dugout.
He hasn't said. I might ask John.
John Paul's just going to wake up and my kids going to be out
there and go at your drains dog. I don't even know what that
means. What do you mean you're begging
those drains? Like that is obviously a thing.
This child is 4 years old and he's digging people's.
If he was like here, do you want your drain?
So I say yeah, but I don't know. Or how do you dig me drain?
Does that mean empty and open drains?
I don't understand. In right, So the best thing is
when he says he's a busy man, they laugh.
And then that in the longer version of the video, my
favourite bit is when he says about like he might he might
have steak or garlic cubes because he gets so carried away
with all the work that he's doing that he sees himself as
this like big operator and he is a big operator and he's like,
here, we're having steak tonight.
I mean, the confidence of a child to turn around his mom and
be like here, buy steak and that his mom goes steaks expensive
and he tells her specifically where to buy it.
As a kid, I didn't know. I didn't know where you would
buy at that age. I don't know where you'd buy
food, you know, I mean, I certainly didn't know, you know,
the idea of the value of money and the fact that stuff's there
here cheaper there. Just having that answer off the
top of your head ever. His mom's like steaks there.
He's like here, not in the supermarket.
It's not, you know what I mean? So I love that and them, I put
out a tweet yesterday saying I wanted to get Ronald Mikalowski
on the podcast and people really enjoyed it, but I would love to
get Ronald Mikalowski on the podcast.
I'd love to get that kid on the podcast.
So maybe next week we could try and set that up with like his
parents and see if we could do some sort of Zoom thing and I
could ask him like what he's been up to and what work he has
on. And we are renovating the bit of
the studio. So maybe he's the man to get in
if we can afford them and see, see what kind of renovations you
can do for us. We get, we get down and he's put
in like full new electrical system.
He's painted it, he's dug out the drains.
And I'm like, how have you done that?
Because it's an indoor studio. He's like, don't worry about it.
I've done it. I really enjoyed that.
And that video will make you feel better about everything in
your life if you watch it. Just very, very, very enjoyable
video zippers. Thank you very much for
listening and watching the podcast.
If you haven't already subscribed to the podcast on
Apple podcasts, if you want to read and review it, that would
be great. The podcast, as always film by
michaelfoster.tv and a lot of people got in touch me like
that's actually says business name.
It's not as business name that michaelfoster.tvhissurnameis.tv.
So he couldn't have gone into any other business.
And so thank you very much. Then we'll let we'll link, you
know, we're doing we're linking everything.
We've got that Max charity. We'll put the merchandise shop.
We'll put chip chip put chip chip in.
And here's the thing about chip chip.
That's a bit I mean, if chip chip weren't paying to be a new
sponsor, might just have them anyway because chip chip, I mean
at any of the money. But chip chip is potentially the
most fun sponsor named to say of all time.
Just chip. I love that I enjoy it and
thanks to them for sponsoring. Do check them out.
They are, as always, LinkedIn the description as well.
Zippers, enjoy your Halloween, Halloween don't go Halloween
rhyme and save it the next year. All the best, Thank you.
Bye. Cheers.
I know we would have done longer here, but I'm a busy man.