1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:04,280 Prime big Deal days is coming October 8th and 9th, which can 2 00:00:04,280 --> 00:00:08,680 lead to involuntary deal squeals like the infamous deal on a new 3 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:13,880 massager squeal. Save big on prime big deal days 4 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:20,080 October 8th and 9th. Zippers, welcome to this episode 5 00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:22,440 of the team with me podcast. With me, she and Todd. 6 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:24,920 I'm slightly sick. We'll talk about that later, 7 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:29,560 before we really get into the cut and thrust. 8 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:30,760 Oh. Dirty. 9 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:33,040 Of this episode. There'll be no thrust. 10 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:36,120 We need to. They'll be cutting the way we'll 11 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,760 be thrusting. William, we'll be here soon. 12 00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:45,080 We need to plug a few things #1 Patreon, www.patreon.com. 13 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:48,920 It's all happening over there. Join the 2000 plus people 14 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:50,720 already on our Patreon. Why are they there? 15 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:54,280 Because we're bringing a bonus content left, right and centre. 16 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:57,200 There's too much. There's a bonus episode on 17 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:02,240 Monday, live stream on a Friday, pre sealed tickets go on there. 18 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:07,240 There's vlogs, there's stand up films, there's the tattoo thing 19 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:09,920 might already be up now or it's coming up. 20 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:11,200 Don't worry about this. Just get on. 21 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:13,600 Just get there and then get your burns from there. 22 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:16,920 But just sign up patreon.com/tme podcast. 23 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:18,240 You'll trust me, you'll have a good time. 24 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:22,280 Plus there's about $9000 worth of content already there. 25 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:29,600 We are sponsored by none other than Craft Tea Brew now, if 26 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:32,400 ever. If ever there was a perfect fit 27 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:35,800 to sponsor this podcast, it's the guys at CTB. 28 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:38,760 I don't know if they call themselves a Craft Tea Brew, It 29 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:40,400 is Northern Ireland's first. What? 30 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,000 You call them. That's a great name. 31 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,080 What? Crafty Brew. 32 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,720 Crafty. Oh, like crafty. 33 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:47,080 Brew. That's amazing. 34 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:49,080 I I guarantee you even they haven't thought of that. 35 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,520 And now they're. Going to start called none at 36 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:52,960 all. We, yeah, we've always. 37 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:54,120 Said that that's what it always was. 38 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,480 What a cragger name. It's Northern Ireland's first 39 00:01:56,640 --> 00:02:00,480 kombucha brewery. No, you didn't think 30 years 40 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:03,560 ago we'd have a commercial kombucha brewery. 41 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:06,160 But we do know I'm not. Can I just say as a beautiful 42 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:09,120 sign about how far this place has come that we have a 43 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:12,040 commercial kombucha brewery? I always said back in the worst 44 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:16,040 days, I said one day we'll have a commercial kombucha brewery 45 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,560 and now we have it come. But what is deal? 46 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:19,880 What you think kombucha is, do you know? 47 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:22,400 It's what's. It's what's stop the troubles. 48 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:28,000 It's a fermented tea drink which originates from ancient China. 49 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,400 And can I be honest? That's my favourite China, if 50 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:31,840 I'm honest, followed by the female wrestler. 51 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:35,120 And, you know, back in ancient China, they were done doing a 52 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:38,400 lot of wild stuff like these guys. 53 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:40,800 I can't even, I don't even want to go in. 54 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:44,720 But they were up to a lot of things. 55 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:50,720 And one thing they were doing is that Genghis Khan, OK, well, 56 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:55,040 it's to their own. This guy use traditional brewing 57 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:59,520 methods to make this stuff. It's really good for your gut 58 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:01,240 health. It's packed with probiotics, 59 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:03,760 good for digestion. Main thing is it tastes great as 60 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,040 well. There's about 900 of these in 61 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:07,720 our fridge and everyone's going through them. 62 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:11,360 Here a tea with me HQ. Look, if you're looking to swap 63 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:14,200 out alcohol, maybe in the run up to Christmas, you want to knock 64 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:17,120 a booze in the head. It's a healthy alternative to 65 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:19,080 sugary drinks as well. Maybe you're drinking too much 66 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:20,680 Coca-Cola. You know what you're like in the 67 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:25,240 Coca-Cola, they've got flavours like lightning Mcgreen, which is 68 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:28,080 their top seller. It's made from single estate 69 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:31,720 Kenyan green tea, not multiple estates out in Kenya single. 70 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:36,200 You get 10% off using the code tea with me, all one word tea 71 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:42,360 with me at craftteabrew.co. So what you want to do is find 72 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:43,840 that link in the description of this. 73 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:44,960 Click on that. Look at these. 74 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:47,760 We'll do some, we'll sample and Patreon some tasting. 75 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,120 At least we'll do a little tasting session. 76 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:52,120 We're also sponsored by Manscaped. 77 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:56,680 Now coming up to Christmas, you're thinking about what is 78 00:03:56,680 --> 00:04:01,160 Santa having a sack? Well, Speaking of sacks, these 79 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:03,960 guys at Manscaped are ball crazy. 80 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:06,880 They love it. Coming up to Christmas, people 81 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,800 thinking, oh, I've got all the presents and all that kind of 82 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,120 stuff. All the employees at Manscaped 83 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:14,560 are just thinking about balls and things around it. 84 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,519 They have the perfect performance. 85 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:20,920 Depend on who you're talking to What? 86 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:22,640 Other things would be around your balls, eh? 87 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:24,000 Do you Have you ever heard of ladies? 88 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:26,320 Well, you have balls. Exactly. 89 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:30,800 So you just brief my point. I don't think I have I. 90 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:34,840 Think you have ancient? Chinese proverb Respect everyone 91 00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:35,760 individually. Proverb. 92 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:39,520 They have a platinum package 4 point though the the ultimate 93 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,920 stocking filler. This is one more like, you know, 94 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:45,360 like people do, a lot of people do silly Secret Santa gifts and 95 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:47,560 someone opens it and they're like, ah, but I got you some 96 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:50,920 class which really annoying. Anything from Manscaped will be 97 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:53,840 a great gift. What you want to do is go on 98 00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:55,280 there. They've got they've got every 99 00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:58,240 look at this. There's a new product here, 2 in 100 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:01,320 one shampoo and conditioner and that's going to clean and 101 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:04,240 revitalise your hair and that is a nice bottle. 102 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,920 Is that for your hair on your head or your hair on your balls? 103 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:10,400 Well, normally crazy folks at Manscaped, you can put it 104 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:13,000 everywhere, OK? They won't make a product if you 105 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,120 also can't use it on your balls. That's not true. 106 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:18,720 Don't put the aftershave. I said aftershave with an R in 107 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:19,640 it. Aftershave. 108 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:21,560 That's vegan, by the way. Why? 109 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:27,200 Wasn't plan on eating. It check out. 110 00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:30,120 Manscape for Christmas you know by now they've got amazing 111 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:32,000 products on their genuinely good gifts. 112 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:35,480 Manscape.com, You go tea with me for 20% off and free shipping. 113 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:42,600 My guests are dealing with Doherty because Willie T is not 114 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,280 here. Has anybody heard from William? 115 00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:45,960 Is he safe? Is he OK? 116 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,360 We've not heard from, well, iPhone him. 117 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,560 Put him on loudspeaker. What a crap prank if he just 118 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:51,280 wasn't going to turn up. Yeah. 119 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:54,120 And then like next week, he was all Hagachi. 120 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,400 Yeah, what a slow burner it's. Just really inconvenient. 121 00:05:57,840 --> 00:05:59,200 Are you going to phone him? Yeah, what? 122 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,560 Should give me something to say. Say, why not? 123 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:02,440 Amazing. OK. 124 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,320 Do you say I haven't turned up either and you're really 125 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:11,120 annoyed? So William said to me recently 126 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,560 on tour, Hey. Hey, made you OK? 127 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:17,560 Yeah. What's up? 128 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:21,640 Are you coming to the podcast? Yes. 1125 is it? 129 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:25,320 Absolutely not. Absolutely not. 130 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,760 I'm just checking my messages to you here to see who's wrong. 131 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:39,720 It's 10:15. And I definitely said 10:15 no. 132 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:44,720 Yeah, I also said yeah. No, What's up, mate? 133 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:46,800 What's up? Yeah, that's. 134 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,360 Completely my. Fault 100%. 135 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:53,880 Yeah. I'm sorry. 136 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:57,800 I wrote about 45. All right, all right, Yeah. 137 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,680 Nobody can call me that for missing my podcast here. 138 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,080 Are you, are you able to come over? 139 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,240 I'm literally just like out of the shower now. 140 00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:08,240 I was ready to make good time for 11:45. 141 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,160 That's all right, put some clothes on and come over when he 142 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:10,800 started. How long? 143 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:12,160 Does it take to be an hour all right? 144 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:15,360 Bye. Apologies for that. 145 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,480 No, no, just just put some clothes on and come over. 146 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:22,800 Don't get dried. Yeah, no worries. 147 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:23,400 All right, mate. Bye. 148 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:26,440 Bye. That would be the most stinking 149 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:27,600 thing. To put your clothes on when 150 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:30,640 you're still wet like that would be disgusting. 151 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,200 That's not this. I don't think. 152 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:34,400 In the grand scheme of things, it's disgusting. 153 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:36,800 Do you know what I'll do? Quite a lot of time I'll forget 154 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,800 to dry my back. Probably one in six. 155 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:41,640 No. Why you? 156 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:44,480 If I say I forget to do it, why are you saying why? 157 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:45,640 Why do you? Forget to do it. 158 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:47,400 Do you know what it is? You're coming out of the shower 159 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,960 and you're wrapping your towel around your midriff, aren't you? 160 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,720 No, you're wrapping it around your whole body from your tank. 161 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:58,040 Again. We turban. 162 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,560 See, for some reason right, this is mental. 163 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:05,480 I can't do the like. Yeah, come on, Do. 164 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:07,920 You know why? I just think it's mental. 165 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:09,960 I, I, I know this doesn't make sense. 166 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,520 No, it does. I think it's really, it's a 167 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:13,760 really weird look. Yeah, it's, it's like a big ball 168 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:14,680 as well. Like it's it's. 169 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:16,720 Yeah, it's just like. Yeah, I know. 170 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:17,480 To me. I don't know. 171 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:20,280 I associate it with like Hawkeyes and 90s films. 172 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,680 I don't know. Yes, and you just don't want to 173 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:24,560 enter it on that but. Why would I ever need the wrap? 174 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,360 I just get dried in the room I'm in. 175 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:29,680 So when you get out of the shower, you know you'll get 176 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:32,760 dried and dressed immediately. Yeah. 177 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:36,120 You're not do like you just like so you already have your clothes 178 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,600 prepared when you get like I'll hop in the shower and get out. 179 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,159 I'm not know what I'm going to wear or. 180 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:43,840 I'm an adult, you see, So I would lay my outfit out, yeah. 181 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:47,120 Yeah, this is really inappropriate. 182 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:50,000 But is your? Is your children ever seen you 183 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:54,640 naked? I mean, I think it would only be 184 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:59,040 inappropriate of other people. No, like my brother has always 185 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:00,960 said about, like, do you know, like if he's been going to the 186 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:03,120 toilet and like, his kids walk in, they're like, really like, 187 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:05,560 toddlers and all, like, coming up to his eggs. 188 00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:07,720 Like, Daddy, you're like, pointing at his bed. 189 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:09,560 So what is that? Yeah, you know. 190 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:10,880 Like they've seen me naked. Yeah, yeah. 191 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,160 Yeah, I know they. They accept the other, except 192 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,960 they're very tolerant and. They just like, what's that? 193 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:20,160 Someone's like that, it's OK. He's like something. 194 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:22,840 No, I don't think he's ever Yeah, yeah, yeah. 195 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:25,480 He doesn't understand the way IP compared to the way he pees. 196 00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:27,760 Yeah, could to see Pete. Does he pee in a potty or see 197 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:34,160 pee in a nappy? No, I use, my mate was telling 198 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:34,600 me. He's like. 199 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:35,760 Daddy, why do not wipe your ball? 200 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:41,000 My mate told me to that he was party training the sun and to do 201 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:45,400 it he he went in the potty and he's like but my son took so 202 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:48,160 long to potty train that a lot of the time I was going to 203 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,080 toilet it was into the potty. I think that's weird. 204 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:52,000 I'd prefer he's the nappies to 10. 205 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:54,960 Yeah, well, Jim, Catherine Ryan, the comedian Catherine Ryan, she 206 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,480 potty trained her kids at 10 months. 207 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,440 No, all her. Kids, she says. 208 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:01,400 Yeah, she goes, And I research. I was like that's crazy but 209 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:05,480 apparently it's easier to get kids out of like nappies 210 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:07,360 younger. Yeah, but ten months I can't 211 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:08,240 talk. Or are they going to? 212 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,520 What's the signal? You do sign language, you sign 213 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:12,480 language she. Taught shit. 214 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:16,080 Oh Oh yeah, she had ten months. She taught them and sign 215 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:17,920 language. Sign language, apparently that's 216 00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:19,960 what says in her book. And she was saying that it's 217 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:23,240 partly easier to like get them because as soon as I start 218 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,240 knowing that they're shitting themselves, then they'll black 219 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,680 away shit manappy. But if they if you get them 220 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,720 before they even know they're doing shits and then train them 221 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,120 to go into the toilet, it's apparently a smoother 222 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:34,840 transition. I'm. 223 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:36,640 Calm bullshit on that. Are you? 224 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,760 Yeah, I mean, I'm. Calling, I'm calling her out. 225 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:42,080 There's no way that happened. Her her her 11 month old wee 226 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:49,160 boys wearing boxers so. Fuck William Thompson. 227 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:53,120 I I see for a second I really thought I had it wrong. 228 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,360 I love whenever you're like, oh, I actually got I got it right 229 00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:57,200 and you got it wrong. Can. 230 00:10:57,200 --> 00:11:00,520 I tell you something that was just, you know, in that vein of 231 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:03,200 like when you check something in you the relief of like this. 232 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:06,160 Yeah, doesn't this. So William came with me on tour. 233 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:09,960 So we did Liverpool, Newcastle, Glasgow, Edinburgh. 234 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,960 Yeah. And let me say not one why I 235 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:15,960 brought up the best run up shows I've ever done in my life. 236 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:18,720 Oh good. Then I did one, then that. 237 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,720 Figures been going really, really bad, hasn't it? 238 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:23,840 Yeah, we needed this, Yeah. You needed that. 239 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:25,920 We pick you up. The best shows, yeah. 240 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:27,040 See Newcastle. What is it? 241 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,960 You're being Newcastle, England. No. 242 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:31,800 Cracking place. Is it? 243 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:35,200 Friendly, easy to get around, kind of reminds me home we but. 244 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:38,640 Easy to get around what? What obstacles are they putting 245 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:39,120 in your way? You know. 246 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:40,400 What is easy to get around Edinburgh? 247 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:43,280 Oh no, that's what dairies like. Yeah, yeah. 248 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,560 Cobbly, hilly, up and down. So hold on. 249 00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:48,160 So yeah. See see the way user are up and 250 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,800 dairy that sounds like some usual call a cup of tea cobbly 251 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,520 hilly upside. Cobbly, hilly, upside down. 252 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:56,280 And So what we said, so you're what happened in your turn that 253 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,040 you're saying that you right. Let me tell you this. 254 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,760 Yeah. So yeah, I just mean, this is 255 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:03,160 something where you just get that immediate feeling of like, 256 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:07,760 oh, yes, that's brilliant. So I, I thought this, these, 257 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,880 these sure should be a brilliant chance for me. 258 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:13,480 You'll know as a fellow mother, right to get to get some sleep. 259 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:14,600 Yeah, yeah. So. 260 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,440 I'm going away. I'm tight. 261 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:18,640 My body's aching a bit. Interrupted sleep. 262 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:21,800 I go hotels as soon as the gig's over. 263 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:24,960 See you. No drinks after, no anything 264 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:26,760 away to bed. Yeah. 265 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,320 Plus I'll get up late. I got up a 10 or something like 266 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:30,440 that. Crazy talk it. 267 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:34,400 Never worked out, but whenever I was going to Glasgow, I was 268 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,360 like, this would be a good chance to text my friend 269 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:37,880 Christopher MacArthur boy Joe Christopher. 270 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:39,760 Yeah. Been on the podcast for one of 271 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:40,720 the nice guys in common. Guy. 272 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:44,960 We arrange at dinner, right? So like at 5:30 dinner. 273 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:46,320 I it's my only day off. Yeah. 274 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,920 So I go for dinner at half five. And it's a good idea. 275 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:54,000 See, by about four. I just got into the hotel. 276 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,520 The train was delayed. It was raining. 277 00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:59,200 I was tired. I was thinking about a nap. 278 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:02,400 I don't nap, and the football was on and I just got into my 279 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:05,080 hotel, turned the TV on. I was like, it'll be good to see 280 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:08,240 him, but I was going to have to walk 20 minutes, do a train 281 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:11,120 station, get trained to Partick and go meet him there. 282 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,800 Plus, you can't just have a quick dinner, you know? 283 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:15,400 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Catch up and all that, and some 284 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:16,280 you haven't seen in a while, Yeah. 285 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:20,560 He text me and I read the top bit, mate, I'm so sorry. 286 00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:22,360 See, when I saw that, I didn't even open it, love. 287 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:23,920 I was just. I threw it down. 288 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:26,680 I just clapped on the bed. I was like, this is brilliant. 289 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,000 Yeah, because he did the thing that I wanted to do, but. 290 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,240 Couldn't have. Well, that happens to me all the 291 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:30,640 time. You. 292 00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:33,120 I make plans in advance. I'm do you know, whilst you're 293 00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:34,720 having a good day? Yes. 294 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:37,200 And you make sociable plans for other times. 295 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:41,200 Yeah, forgetting how much you're normally a miserable bastard. 296 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:43,760 She, she, you're doing nothing. It's always going to be like 297 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:44,600 this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 298 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,320 I'm having a great fun day today. 299 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,160 I'm happy to talk to other human beings. 300 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,560 So I, I assume that like in three weeks time, I'll be happy 301 00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:52,760 to go out and have drinks with a friend or go out and have dinner 302 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:55,000 with somebody forgetting that that's shit you hate doing. 303 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,160 Yeah. And then it gets to that, closer 304 00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:58,400 to that. And then there's three weeks of 305 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:00,200 dread. Like I don't want to go. 306 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,400 I don't remember even liking this person that much. 307 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:04,560 And it's a constant. And Sean always goes to me just 308 00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:06,160 cancel because I bet you they don't like you to. 309 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:07,880 Well. They're they're they're they're 310 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,480 if you cancel, they're going to go no worries. 311 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:11,720 But they're they're loving it. You'd. 312 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,280 Love to give someone that relief that you had. 313 00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:14,880 We were like, oh, thankful. The last minute. 314 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:16,880 But if I found out if I cancelled on someone because I 315 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:18,720 didn't want to go out with them and I found out they were 316 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:20,040 relieved, I'd be like what the fuck? 317 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:22,280 Yeah, oh, you, you also can't let them know. 318 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,760 I text him back because he was busy saying he's been getting a 319 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:27,240 lot recently and he was going to have a night in with girlfriend. 320 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:28,880 He's like, I haven't seen her in a while, so I think it's 321 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:30,840 probably best thing. And I just text him back. 322 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:33,480 I said you're a horrible man. Yeah, yeah. 323 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:37,160 And then they can feel bad. No, because you want them to 324 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:38,680 feel bad. Because then it feels like they 325 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:40,600 owe you 1. And also here's great feeling 326 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,480 too. William was always supposed to 327 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,560 be Liverpool and Newcastle. Then he had such a good time at 328 00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:46,880 those. He was supposed to fly home to 329 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:49,600 Karen's Oster Hall show. And then he goes, see, after 330 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:52,720 that I'm going to fly myself over to do Edinburgh because I'm 331 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:55,080 loving these shows so much. They're magic like. 332 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:56,560 So he goes, I'm going to fly over. 333 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:58,760 So I said well if you're a cover, if you're flying over, 334 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:02,080 I'll book your hotel. Got a last minute deal? 335 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:05,400 We Three star £454. Where you stay in the same 336 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:11,560 hotel, no. I've been very nice hotels when 337 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,440 it was always in a reasonable place. 338 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,000 You hostel? Yeah. 339 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:17,920 No, no, he stayed because here's the thing as well. 340 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:21,960 So I don't know if you heard this or you missed out on it, 341 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:25,720 but when Kieran took William Montour, sort of a boy who gets 342 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:27,320 taken on tour by older men, right? 343 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:28,400 Because he's. Yeah, Because. 344 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:31,560 He's got less responsibilities. He's like, fuck it, I can get up 345 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:33,400 and go and he's obviously great. Great act. 346 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:34,720 Exactly. Yeah, I like. 347 00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:36,280 The added on that I'm also I don't want. 348 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:37,680 It to sound like he's just available. 349 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:39,640 I meant like he's also good. Yeah, Yeah, yeah, right. 350 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:40,960 Phenomenal. Right. 351 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:45,760 So he but he goes on tour with a lot of people and he's great. 352 00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:48,280 He's great company on tour too. But when he went away with 353 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:51,760 Kieran, Karen did his first tour, UK dates and that kind of 354 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:53,640 thing. Yeah, Karen brought William, but 355 00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:56,480 also Karen brought Chloe, Karen's wife, of course. 356 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:58,120 Yeah. Shared A room. 357 00:15:58,760 --> 00:15:59,840 With. William and Chloe? 358 00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:01,880 Yep. Family room the. 359 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:05,440 Whole time. No, Karen didn't think they were 360 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:06,440 the child. William. 361 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:08,640 Yeah. When he was on the we pull out 362 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,560 under there. He's in the cart. 363 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:16,480 He's got a fucking hate you. Unlike Catherine Ryan's kid, 364 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:17,880 Yeah. He's still buddies. 365 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:21,640 He's. Still a nappies Kieran having to 366 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:23,040 get wake up in the night department. 367 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:31,280 Jesus shitty. Ash mate, why have you shut 368 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:35,960 yourself? It's so dirty. 369 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:38,920 Why did? Did. 370 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:42,320 William never like complain with management. 371 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:46,880 Why does Kieran keep trying to wipe my arch? 372 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,160 Kieran keeps your laughter. Baby baby wipes. 373 00:16:53,160 --> 00:17:00,120 It's so dirty. But Kieran? 374 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,400 Was like how many nights were? There down what do you what? 375 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,400 Do you say like no way for what 5-6 nights I'm. 376 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:09,280 Not sure was. That always the family room. 377 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:10,839 Oh no. I think there was one night he's 378 00:17:10,839 --> 00:17:13,520 like, I'll give him his own room or he got his own room and. 379 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:17,040 It was dinner, but. How I said that's just Karen's 380 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:19,160 like, what's weird? I was like, it's the most 381 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:22,800 unnerving thing I've ever heard that you're just in bed with 382 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,760 your wife and your mates just like the you. 383 00:17:25,839 --> 00:17:28,079 A work. Colleague too, as well as me and 384 00:17:28,079 --> 00:17:30,640 here's like well nothing. I was like Oh no, I don't think 385 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,440 anything It's weirder than not. It'll be less weird. 386 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,600 If there was, it was it was a full sex party, yes. 387 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:39,120 But three? People just asleep night night. 388 00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:42,120 That happened to me. And Sean though we were, we were 389 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:46,400 gigging in Bunkrana and like some festival, funkrana. 390 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:51,160 Funkrana. And what do you guys as farmer 391 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:55,520 Michael Michael yes. So they had booked us and they 392 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:57,720 did like do support for their show. 393 00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:00,520 We were up there and the other guy doesn't support David. 394 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:02,320 What do you call? We, Sean and I were booked. 395 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,080 We they booked us their room, not David Elliot, no. 396 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:08,280 And we were in with the other act and it was me, Sean and him 397 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:13,640 and there was like a big bed and a wee bit me and Sean but. 398 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:15,000 No, I wouldn't. I couldn't. 399 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,120 I couldn't. But I was just like there. 400 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:17,400 Was no. The place was booked out because 401 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:18,720 there was a festival. There was no other room. 402 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,840 Did you just drive down? Yeah, but we also got blocked. 403 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:24,040 Doesn't matter. There's no mission. 404 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:27,840 So. Kier. 405 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,040 Yeah, Kieran was like, what's weird? 406 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,080 But this I was like, it's 10 out of 10 weird. 407 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:32,880 You're in a family room with your me and your wife, right? 408 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:36,080 10 out, 10 weird. Plus you bring them on to her, 409 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:39,200 right? So me and William went away. 410 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:42,640 I text him and I put no he he gets his own room right so I 411 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,280 have a room. He is we're in the same hotel 412 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:47,320 apart from in Edinburgh where I really pushed the boat out and 413 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:49,560 he's dead and walking over. Described as a horrific hotel. 414 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,000 Oh shit. But then it was last minute. 415 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,880 He said he was OK. Plus I did it wrong because I 416 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:56,000 was only in Edinburgh for a day and I should have booked a 417 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,160 really nice hotel for Glasgow because it was there for two 418 00:18:58,160 --> 00:18:59,840 days. So I didn't get the use of my 419 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:01,200 Edinburgh hotel. Anyway. 420 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,720 William Azon room. I text someone before we left 421 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,840 for the airport. I was like, mate, I know this 422 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:10,400 might sound weird, but I'm getting the massage as soon as 423 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,520 we arrive in Liverpool in my hotel room from Tyson Fury's 424 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:15,600 masseuse. You need to be there. 425 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:18,040 You need to be in the room so you don't get. 426 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,760 No, it's it's. Just it's just, there's just 427 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:23,280 that's how rumours start. Why? 428 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:25,880 You know when I get when I you don't trust yourself. 429 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,160 You needed someone that will hold you back. 430 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:34,560 I met William. Tie my hands down to the bed so 431 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,360 I was just. Accidentally wanking people, 432 00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,480 it's just something. You know. 433 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,320 You know, you know. You know, I I just thought it's 434 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:45,760 weird to check in and then 3 minutes later a man with a 435 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,840 massage bed walks through reception and says he's going to 436 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:49,880 Shane Tuldrum. So I'm like, do you know what? 437 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,120 It's not weird, right? And I'm a weird guy. 438 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,920 Just just be there. So it's like we're just chatting 439 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:56,400 like because I don't know the guy either, really. 440 00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:59,000 So how did this? Massage come about so have you 441 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,120 did you go like on Google to book a massage in Liverpool? 442 00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:03,120 You happen to book this person and is it somebody who comes out 443 00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:05,240 to hotel rooms or is this a resident my sister than the 444 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:06,880 hotel No. So I I. 445 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,200 Know a guy that lives in Liverpool? 446 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:09,720 Ryan McLaughlin. He's been the pod. 447 00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:11,520 Just played football for Liverpool, man. 448 00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:15,000 About time I said. Who's like a sports massage guy 449 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:18,440 and because my back on the neck are killing me, my shoulders. 450 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:21,080 So I is there someone I can go to? 451 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:22,720 So that was the plan. I would go to them. 452 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,360 Yeah, somewhere in Liverpool city centre. 453 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,080 More normal. He messaged me back. 454 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:30,200 To here's this guy he's Tyson Furies personal masseur goes on 455 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,520 camps with that you know Tyson Furies in the states, whatever 456 00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:35,000 this guy goes to and so then you. 457 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,000 Asked him to come to your hotel room, Yes. 458 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,640 No. I said, where are you? 459 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,440 And he goes, I, I come to you. And then you're like, what are? 460 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,920 You wearing? And he goes. 461 00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:47,360 I'll come to you. And I said right, so here's 462 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:50,080 where it gets weird. I as soon as me and William 463 00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:54,040 checked in, I said to the receptionist, I said, excuse me, 464 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,800 we've got a room keys. And I said I said what I meant 465 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:00,600 to basically say was weird standard comedians. 466 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,200 So we're, we're, we're performers, right? 467 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:05,520 So. At the. 468 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,000 Time. I should have said nothing. 469 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:11,000 I said excuse me, we're comedians and I was basically 470 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,480 getting across to her. I'm doing a live performance 471 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,840 tonight and I need to like loosen my body. 472 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:18,560 To do a. Good performance. 473 00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:21,640 So there's a guy coming to give me a massage and that's all. 474 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,520 Surplus information, but here's the. 475 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:26,760 Thing I I backed out of giving her too much information. 476 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:28,560 I went up. The receptionist said, excuse 477 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:30,440 me, we're comedians. There's a guy coming. 478 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:33,600 There's a guy coming on the massage bed up to our room. 479 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,600 Is that OK? She went yeah. 480 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:39,920 Why she went why, why? Why are you telling me? 481 00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:42,920 And I went, well, no, it's just in case that's not allowed. 482 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,560 But she went, what are you going to be? 483 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:47,120 And I was like, no, no, I'm just, I'm let, I'm letting you 484 00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:47,960 know. Yeah. 485 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:49,840 Plus also she's like I don't work. 486 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:52,000 Here, yeah, there's like. I'm like, if there's a communal 487 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,960 space or like part of the gym, it'd be better to use there. 488 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:58,560 I don't want her to think there's a weird sex thing going 489 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:00,640 on, but this is the thing. Is this is somebody? 490 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:02,360 Why do you care if she what she thinks? 491 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,800 Who's to say she hasn't seen the podcast before? 492 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,880 Well. Right, No. 493 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,480 If you were in a hotel room and you went down and you didn't 494 00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,080 like your room, would you ask them to move? 495 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:16,440 Yeah, but it would need to be something quite drastic like 496 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:19,480 Tyson. Furies in your room, but. 497 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,400 When? But when me and William walked 498 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,080 away and the reception is like, fuck what William? 499 00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:26,720 I went to William as we're walking up to rooms on why'd she 500 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,320 look at me like that? He's like, because it didn't 501 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:30,440 mix. You just went up there and went 502 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:32,840 we're comedians as a guy called. Massage. 503 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:36,920 Imagine if like the next week like Peter case checking and 504 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,080 she's like and what time will your missus be arriving? 505 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:41,240 She's just James. That's protocol. 506 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,040 I'm the only guy like. People will be like, oh, you 507 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:45,520 have a masseuse on tour. I'm the only guy in a Novotel 508 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:49,240 hotel, personal masseuse. It's a three star hotel. 509 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:51,880 But anyway, William was was in the room. 510 00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:56,200 So anyway, guys absolutely brilliant working it all out, 511 00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:59,200 telling us about being on tour and all the big boxing matches 512 00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:03,440 he's been at and as William was, so William got a massage too, 513 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,280 because I was like, we've got to go. 514 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:06,960 We're going to do another podcast. 515 00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:10,200 I said what William like because here's the thing, difference 516 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:11,080 between me. Weird. 517 00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:13,240 We were like fuck it, jump on do him too. 518 00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,960 Different between me and Kieran. I look after people on tour. 519 00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:19,920 He got a massage. I said hey, if I can get one. 520 00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:21,920 You do realise the? Next time, Kieran. 521 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:24,200 Takes William on tour. He's just going to be there like 522 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:26,440 it. Would take him so long. 523 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:29,400 With the same audience. They man to be great, a good 524 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:32,080 need. In your back I. 525 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:33,880 Was staying in a hotel once, I think I might have been in 526 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:37,760 Wicklow or go away. I was filming and the people in 527 00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:41,000 the room next to me did non-stop writing. 528 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:45,920 I mean non-stop writing for. All yours on you. 529 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,240 Didn't know they weren't part of the production. 530 00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:48,320 They weren't part of the production. 531 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:49,960 I was like, this is definitely like, they're away. 532 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:51,800 Like they're both married to someone else. 533 00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:54,080 Like no normal couple rides this much. 534 00:23:54,080 --> 00:24:01,000 It was like 20 minutes. It generally went on. 535 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:03,640 All fucking night. But it was so funny because I 536 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,200 couldn't sleep, so noisy. And they stopped at one point 537 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:08,600 and I went oh fuck. And then they just stared the 538 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:14,400 kettle go on. And then about. 15 minutes later 539 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:16,880 when the Briggs were done, they fucking started again. 540 00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:19,480 It. Was so stinking. 541 00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:21,640 Just the admin. Of that, yeah. 542 00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:23,440 It's all. It's all passionate and sexy. 543 00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:25,480 Yeah. Oh, milk. 544 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:29,840 I'm ready to go. I'm like, there's no almond 545 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:33,120 where is the nearest bar but I. So I when. 546 00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:36,040 William was weird. Times you just tune. 547 00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,680 Into this, William was face down on the bed, his head in the 548 00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:40,760 hole. And I took a photo of that, 549 00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:44,520 like, suddenly on my phone. And I sent it to, like, some 550 00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:45,920 comedians we're friends with. Yeah. 551 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:49,040 And Karen Bartlett wrote back straight away and said, yeah. 552 00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:53,760 And my family room's weird. Yeah, did you? 553 00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,480 So whenever you were in the room and you're getting a massage, 554 00:24:56,480 --> 00:25:00,000 what do you have? Like your underwear on on my 555 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,840 head. Yeah, you put like your sheet. 556 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:04,600 Around your. Yeah, you've got, you've got 557 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,520 your shorts on. Yeah, it's less weird. 558 00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:07,800 Yeah. No, it was. 559 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,760 Open till now, I thought. Everyone was naked. 560 00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:11,080 Now, do you know what's more? Weird. 561 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:14,480 Yeah, I've got a gig tonight, so I'm not well, you know, I've got 562 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:15,760 a cold. Everybody here as a cold. 563 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:17,600 Chocolate Brothers here have a cold. 564 00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:20,200 They pass everything to each other. 565 00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:22,800 These are so fucked. If I leave today with a you, 566 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,800 you, you. Now that's so. 567 00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:28,000 What are you, a doctor? Like fucking biologist? 568 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,040 You won't catch it. You'll be fine now. 569 00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,240 What's weirder is I've got a gig tonight. 570 00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:35,560 Yeah right. And normally I would cancel but 571 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:37,960 my dad's mates running it and I'm going to do it. 572 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:39,840 You would cancel a gig for. Everyone he knows. 573 00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:41,120 Yeah. Because. 574 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,440 I wouldn't want to watch out and say hold on, I get my hanky. 575 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,680 I wouldn't know. But shouldn't be bringing. 576 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:52,120 Your teddy bears on stage. But my neck and my. 577 00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:54,960 Shoulders are still really. I've got an injury, so there's a 578 00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:57,600 guy after this podcast coming to give me a massage downstairs. 579 00:25:57,880 --> 00:25:59,120 Get out of fucking. Town. 580 00:25:59,120 --> 00:25:59,480 Sure. Yeah. 581 00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:01,200 Bouts in an office? Just my neck. 582 00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:03,840 No. That's. 583 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:05,800 That's. I know you're making an. 584 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:06,560 Inhabit. Out of this. 585 00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:08,200 I know well the thing. Is can you get? 586 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,160 People like to do because never be in my name form. 587 00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:11,480 You got somebody out to do your hair? 588 00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:14,880 Yeah. I mean, I know that's just a 589 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:15,240 hair. Am I? 590 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:16,440 Weird. Am I weird guy? 591 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,160 But what other things would you? Ask people to come out and do. 592 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:20,600 Would you? Have you ever had your nails and 593 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:22,440 all done? No, but I would. 594 00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:24,840 I would like. To look after. 595 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:28,000 Them like you can get a colour on them which is OK no? 596 00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:31,040 Or like a nude. I get a nude I so we want. 597 00:26:31,120 --> 00:26:33,280 People to know it, Yeah. Yeah, like this is just the. 598 00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:36,560 Colour of mechanicals, Yeah. Or you can get somebody. 599 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:38,240 Have you ever had chronic irrigation? 600 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:39,920 No, I wanted. To do. 601 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:41,240 That for years. Really. 602 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:44,440 Would you not want that? Well, you probably don't need 603 00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:47,520 it. Sorry, search, that's a lot, 604 00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:50,800 would you not? Be because I've cleared. 605 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,080 Out if it is. Do you know what chromes? 606 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:54,560 Is it about? Shouldn't. 607 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,880 That's an element of it. Yeah, I think that's a side. 608 00:26:57,880 --> 00:26:58,960 Effect, isn't it? Yeah. 609 00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:01,880 So I don't feel like you're, I don't feel like you're a bummed 610 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,560 up guy. I mean. 611 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:06,720 That's compliment. Yeah, things are running 612 00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:08,600 smoothly. Things are running nice. 613 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:11,120 Do I need a chronic irrigation? No, I don't. 614 00:27:11,120 --> 00:27:13,480 I don't. I don't think I would like the 615 00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:16,000 process of because I don't think you just go and do it and then 616 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:17,560 leave. I think there's probably like 617 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:21,160 preparation to it because here see what you're about keeping 618 00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:22,600 your bets. Have you ever had a colonoscopy? 619 00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:25,360 No, I. Don't know why they think about 620 00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:26,760 that. Has anyone here? 621 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:28,800 Dan's had it. That's right, camera up your 622 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:30,880 head. I got it, I imagine. 623 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:35,240 It's very sharp, see. You're really drowsy for your, 624 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:38,440 like, local anaesthetic or like, you know, vaguely local. 625 00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:40,320 Yeah. In the locale, yeah. 626 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,440 Nearby in the vicinity, yeah. So you're like. 627 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:47,000 In and out of it. So I remember being 628 00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:49,400 uncomfortable. Not that's what I love them, but 629 00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:50,760 it's the preparation you got to do. 630 00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:54,720 You got to drink a drink that tastes like metal and it clears 631 00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:58,600 you out and you stay in the bathroom and you drink and you 632 00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:00,520 fast and you drink and drink and drink. 633 00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:02,720 Oh, no. And it is one of the worst 634 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:04,400 things I've ever done. They obviously want you to have 635 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:04,720 a. Really. 636 00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:07,360 I mean, kick cool arm and they won't have a look at it. 637 00:28:07,360 --> 00:28:08,680 Yeah, yeah, nice and cleaned out. 638 00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:12,200 Yeah, they need to be able. To to, to see things. 639 00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:13,800 So you take. Drink this drink. 640 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:16,480 And you do clear yourself. It's the worst thing. 641 00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,600 What's that same? As you can see the wood through 642 00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:22,600 the trees, you can see the through the shit, yeah. 643 00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:24,920 That's what they say, but I always. 644 00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,560 Thought a colonic irrigation. I in my head, I was like, you'd 645 00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:30,560 leave it in like air afterwards. You'd be hopping around on your 646 00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:31,720 toes. You'd feel great because 647 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:33,520 apparently they take out like you've partly got. 648 00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:36,480 If you're a meat eater, you apparently have like sausages 649 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:39,680 from when you were 12 and your intestines maybe not that long 650 00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:42,560 back for me, but like apparently there's like a year's worth of 651 00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:47,400 decay and meat all up in your hip and that's maybe the worst 652 00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:49,040 thing I've. Ever heard it's true? 653 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:53,640 Yeah. Years of decay. 654 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:56,280 And bits of decay and mate like you partly have like, I mean 655 00:28:56,280 --> 00:29:00,520 like half a stone of like decay and mate all up in your arsh and 656 00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:03,880 your intestines and all. And your economic irrigation 657 00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:05,600 will get rid of that. And I think that sounds fab, 658 00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:08,120 Dan. That's your Christmas present, 659 00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:09,760 right? There, Dan, look into it and 660 00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:11,480 see. Is there a bit, is there someone 661 00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:13,720 who does it in Belfast? I mean, there will be someone 662 00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:15,240 who doesn't. You don't like the idea of 663 00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:18,400 getting it done in Belfast. The thing is all right. 664 00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,840 Love, we're going I I just stick as. 665 00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:22,840 Paper here, but do you ever be somewhere? 666 00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:25,520 Really inappropriate and somebody recognises she from 667 00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:27,720 something and you're like, no, no, this isn't the place. 668 00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:29,880 Hospital, Yeah. But like. 669 00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:32,240 Say you're getting like a skin tag cut off your cheek or 670 00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:34,520 something, right? A very our space. 671 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:36,720 Today, whenever I was. Any with? 672 00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:41,120 With my three month old literally I I walked in like 673 00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:44,600 child on my shoulder clearly like we're in it working out 674 00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:47,680 right we're in any yeah, I've got the kid here and some guy 675 00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:51,520 went all right, man what's and I I looked at him to suggest no, 676 00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:53,240 yeah, no, whatever it. Is. 677 00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:55,600 No, yeah. He was like, no, your handbrake. 678 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:57,720 'S not on your car, but even Yeah yeah. 679 00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:00,600 Yeah, I'm like, no, you cannot. Get a photo. 680 00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:02,640 He's like, no, mate, your car's killed three people. 681 00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:04,120 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you? 682 00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:07,160 Just get out and fucking sort. I I was one time in with like 683 00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:09,720 having a meet with my bank manager and he was all like my 684 00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:11,920 wife's a big fan. I was like, yeah, but I know 685 00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:14,240 like you're just we're talking about my money at the moment and 686 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:16,160 I just rather funny that your first response that is I. 687 00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:18,080 Know, I know. Yeah, I get. 688 00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:19,920 That I get that, but show me the money. 689 00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:21,640 Yeah, I just think it's. Inappropriate. 690 00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:23,600 But Jamie Lee O'Donnell, one time I remember her tweeting on 691 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:27,720 time, somebody tweeted her and being all like, she was a cheeky 692 00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:29,720 bitch that ass or not, like having hospital and she wouldn't 693 00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:31,160 even like get a photograph with something. 694 00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:33,680 And she was like, I was getting open heart surgery. 695 00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:35,080 Yeah. Yeah, I was just after. 696 00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:37,160 Chronic irrigation. I was telling him I love the. 697 00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:39,280 Podcast and all. And he was, I was in a coma, 698 00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:41,080 mate. I was literally somebody came 699 00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:42,440 over to me at a gig. And dairy. 700 00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:46,000 A few weeks ago I went to ME. I love that chain talk thing and 701 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,560 I was all cool. OK. 702 00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:50,120 And they were like, you know what? 703 00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:51,480 Like the podcast? No, that's all. 704 00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:53,240 Yeah, Yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm aware. 705 00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:54,800 They were like, I know. See you later. 706 00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:58,520 I was like a connection of people made there down. 707 00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:00,920 Do we figure? Out anything out about Belfast? 708 00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:03,240 Colonoscopies. No clonic irrigation. 709 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:06,160 Clonic irrigation. Think there might be warm? 710 00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:09,960 In Lisburn, if ever there was a place. 711 00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:12,480 To clear your arsh out, yes, the Northern Ireland clonic. 712 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,400 Irrigation capital. Capital, Yeah, yeah, yeah. 713 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:17,160 I don't can you find out like. I'd like to know how much it 714 00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:20,360 costs and how long it takes and what prep do you I would say 715 00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:22,440 there's about it takes. About an hour now you do know 716 00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:25,760 that they they fill they fill your rush full of water like a 717 00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:28,600 litre or two water because under you first because because 718 00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:31,920 obviously it can go in and they go through all your intestines 719 00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:33,440 and your is it is it like if you have a? 720 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:37,400 You know like a wee toy in the bath that you a duck sucks in 721 00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,320 all the water. You you push all the. 722 00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:41,720 Air out of it and then the water goes in and then the water goes 723 00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:42,640 out. Yeah, right. 724 00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:43,720 I think that's it. But when it comes. 725 00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:47,280 Out it's full of shit and old meat, but your Christmas Turkey 726 00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:48,920 from Have they actually got a tube in you? 727 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:52,800 Aye. It's a fucking tube and you and 728 00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:55,400 they can this The Dirty thing about it is you can see the 729 00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:57,000 tube. Have you never seen videos of 730 00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,600 it? Why have I locked this up so 731 00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:00,520 much so they'll. Put a big. 732 00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,600 Clear tube, right maybe a couple metres long, whatever up your 733 00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:07,560 arse and they'll wish all this solution and and it'll all come 734 00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:09,520 back out again but what comes back out it's all got bets of 735 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:13,480 shit and it's all purple shit's purple brown and green and 736 00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:16,880 whatever and they're. All everyone's watching it. 737 00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:18,320 What? Do you mean everyone There's a? 738 00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:21,120 Spectator Gallery. Patreon. 739 00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:25,040 Everybody's on Yeah, put out for your Patreon. 740 00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:26,840 I am. I don't know. 741 00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:28,000 Are. People. 742 00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:31,120 Do you think there's people who are like, it doesn't do anything 743 00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:33,600 for you, no science? Huh. 744 00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:35,280 Can't you say? Science. 745 00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:37,920 But I don't know, I think that everyone. 746 00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:38,480 'S have. Why is not? 747 00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:40,920 Everyone not having it done because it's probably. 748 00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:44,160 Expensive and it's embarrassing. I'd say ballpark. 749 00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:47,080 Figure I'd say for calling irrigations about 300, I would 750 00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:49,520 say about 3-4 hundred. Not a price yet. 751 00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:51,800 But there are people saying that it's not always great for you. 752 00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:54,360 You don't you want. To keep so much shit on. 753 00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:57,320 Get rid of all the good. Bacteria that's in your gut. 754 00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:59,360 Yeah, well. Yeah. 755 00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:01,440 Right, that's it. I'll not get one then. 756 00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:02,480 Right. That's it. 757 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,960 I like the good bacteria. Yeah, I think people's. 758 00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:07,000 Yeah, I think do what people do it for two. 759 00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:09,720 Do you like athletes who need to drop away quickly? 760 00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:11,560 You'll get like a clonic irrigation and sweat it out? 761 00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:13,240 No, that sort of shit. I don't know if they do, but 762 00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:14,320 that. That sounds like something they 763 00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:15,880 should do when William gets here for being. 764 00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:17,400 Late. He's getting a clonic irrigation 765 00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:19,920 in the office. Yeah, bottles tied together, 766 00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:23,280 massage beside me. Whenever your man comes black. 767 00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:25,480 Do you clean out hips? He was so. 768 00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:27,960 Easily talked Willy into getting the massage and no telling him 769 00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:29,760 that I think if we were just like we're doing a cloning 770 00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:32,680 irrigation right now you'd be OK with it yeah, yeah yeah if. 771 00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:34,480 There was going to be some views behind it, yeah. 772 00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:37,960 But the term was terrible, so good. 773 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:39,600 What about shows you've done recently? 774 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,120 What's what's been a great gig? What's been a bad gig? 775 00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:47,480 Queen's Comedy Club. Didn't enjoy that right 776 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:48,840 recently, right? I was a. 777 00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:51,600 Why do you think that was? I think I was shit. 778 00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:53,520 Right. No, Mike, you'll tell Mikey 779 00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:56,200 didn't have a great one either. It was a really, I think it was 780 00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:58,520 just not a great night. You know, just one nights 781 00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:01,120 doesn't go well. But then, umm, we did a gig in 782 00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:02,840 that distillery last week. Yeah. 783 00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,280 Dave Copeland. Fucking cracker gig. 784 00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:07,000 Yeah, like it was brilliant, Dave said. 785 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,600 Somebody. Lit up a cigarette. 786 00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:11,239 I think Dave made that up. No. 787 00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:12,120 Oh no, no, no. Some. 788 00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:13,400 Guy came. For smoke in the front room. 789 00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:15,520 Like that, I you. It's weird, you know. 790 00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,600 People say the longer you've been married, you turn into the 791 00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:20,080 person you and. Sean, have this. 792 00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:24,320 Same mind thing where that was like when so when some Sean was 793 00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:26,960 in the podcast, some guy wrote in and went, what about the time 794 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:30,600 Sean broke his arm in Derry Trust or somewhere and Sean was 795 00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:33,120 like and. I was like. 796 00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:36,080 Sean is that guy made that up? And he's like, yeah, 100%. 797 00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:37,719 He's like, have you ever broken your arm? 798 00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:40,800 No, no. And there just No 3 seconds 799 00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:42,719 later Sean went fuck. Maybe he's talking about when I 800 00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:44,520 broke my arm and dairy. Trust me, Joey. 801 00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:49,480 'S got that from has da. Because even the other day, so 802 00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:52,239 whenever I was out with Munter, she she started pushing me go, 803 00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:54,719 get away. And I was all where did you 804 00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:56,440 learn that? And she was with Sean style that 805 00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:57,640 day. And I rang him and I was all, 806 00:34:57,640 --> 00:34:59,400 did you teach winter to say get away? 807 00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:01,160 And he was all no, that's mental. 808 00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:03,200 Then he ran me the next morning he goes, oh, it was me. 809 00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:04,320 I taught her yesterday to say get away. 810 00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:08,200 Why was he teaching that? He doesn't. 811 00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:10,080 Like her, you're trying to do away they want. 812 00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:12,000 Her comment? They were playing a game. 813 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:13,280 She was Natalie special. Yeah. 814 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:17,320 Get away. And buy six hours later ago. 815 00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:19,600 Yeah. So they. 816 00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:21,920 Yeah, he doesn't like her. But the distillery gig was 817 00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:23,800 brilliant. And what I realised at that gig, 818 00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:25,600 I'm starting to go, who are my audience? 819 00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:27,520 Like who people you enjoy my stand up to me. 820 00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:30,080 You're like, I don't know what my age group of people are who 821 00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:31,800 wouldn't? And everyone in that audience 822 00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:33,800 was Asian. Yeah. 823 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:35,960 Diona sounds about Asian, doesn't it? 824 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:38,600 Everyone. I think it was my age and up 825 00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:40,320 right, Which I think. Your. 826 00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:43,440 Demographic is slightly younger than you or actually, it's 827 00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:46,640 probably a quite a right variety of age group, isn't it? 828 00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:50,520 You'd be surprised you. Go there's a 64 year old guy 829 00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:55,480 with this. 14 year old boyfriend who's coming to give me a 830 00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:57,960 massage. No, it's it is very mixed. 831 00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:00,400 Well, I found my. Best gig so far it seems. 832 00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:04,200 We've built here my age 24 and up do. 833 00:36:05,240 --> 00:36:06,360 You know what I mean? It's like maybe. 834 00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:08,400 A best blame game audience sort of age group. 835 00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:10,480 I don't know, right. Anyway, that was that was it. 836 00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:11,800 But yeah, what about what happened when the guy? 837 00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:14,080 Like no cigarette, he got asked to leave. 838 00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:17,000 He was, he had it. I thought he was sleeping, but 839 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,840 he was, I guess with the head on the thing, smoking in the front 840 00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:22,520 row thing was true. I was actually ragingly got 841 00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:24,000 kicked out because he was a great audience member. 842 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,120 He was laughing. He had a great time. 843 00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:26,920 And I was like, leave, then let that guy smoke in the room. 844 00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:28,360 Love a good laugh. Yeah. 845 00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:30,520 We get someone in the room who just their laugh makes everybody 846 00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:33,160 else laugh, Karen. Case in point, yeah. 847 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:35,840 Big, big. Big Husky laugh and I don't ask 848 00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:38,960 where's the last gig you bombed out like a last gig that you've 849 00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:43,760 done really badly at 20000. Let me see, where's the last one 850 00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:44,880 you went? Jesus, that was. 851 00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:49,560 Shit. No, I've just been. 852 00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:52,040 Lucky to have some very good ones recently, but there 853 00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:53,760 definitely has been. Let me see. 854 00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:58,360 In a skill. It's a weird. 855 00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:00,200 It's a weird one, right? In a skill. 856 00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:01,760 It's a. It's a weird one because. 857 00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:05,840 It was pots bar. Same here, but it went. 858 00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:09,160 Well. I didn't enjoy it purely because 859 00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:12,680 I've done a gig before. We've done podcasts all day, 860 00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:16,920 I've done a gig somewhere and then it was going corporate in 861 00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:19,000 Belfast and they get straight there. 862 00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:22,440 I arrived, had to go on stage and I was. 863 00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:24,040 That is what happens, isn't that? 864 00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:25,920 You haven't. You go on stage. 865 00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:28,920 No, but I mean like. No time to get in and settle. 866 00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:31,840 Yeah, like the couple in the hotel room, you know, some sexy 867 00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:33,480 cup of tea straight in. Yeah. 868 00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:38,600 So I just was on stage going. I'm not firing all cylinders 869 00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:40,200 here. And it was going all right. 870 00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:43,760 It's not like, in terms of, like a bomb with nothing. 871 00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:49,520 Yes. The improv in LA, I mean. 872 00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:53,000 That's that sort of possibly to be expected if it's like if 873 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:55,920 you're adjusting to like they mostly tourists. 874 00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:58,600 No, it was American. Here's what the problem was. 875 00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:01,840 So I did my tour show there. Yeah, the night after. 876 00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:04,320 Screw it. Yeah, Then another show. 877 00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,720 Brilliant. But what happens is in those 878 00:38:06,720 --> 00:38:08,440 clubs, they don't have an MC really. 879 00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:13,160 They just do like you pass the button on to the next act, but 880 00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:15,080 they don't have headliner at the end of the night. 881 00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:20,240 The headliner said the show is on from 9:00 until 1:00 AM. 882 00:38:20,240 --> 00:38:21,640 Headliner building like half 1011. 883 00:38:21,720 --> 00:38:22,920 Yep. And then so it goes. 884 00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:26,000 Like this in terms of profile and then it goes down the other 885 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:27,560 side. So I went. 886 00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:32,240 So Tim Dylan was a headliner, then there was another guy, then 887 00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:35,400 the guy who was supposed to be last on and I went on after the 888 00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:37,440 guy who was advertised to be last on. 889 00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:41,160 So I'd say most people left 20%. Of the audience were still. 890 00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:46,360 There and I, I went on, yes, like 1:00 AM and I went good to 891 00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:50,080 be here at the 1:10, the sweet spot of the night, thinking 892 00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:51,080 they'll go. Oh yeah. 893 00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:53,920 Well, I really, I see this guy's nothing. 894 00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:55,400 Nothing. I was like that, but it's going 895 00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:55,600 to. Kill. 896 00:38:55,600 --> 00:39:00,280 It's a bit like when I did a gig in Vegas and in the Comedy 897 00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:03,720 Cellar and I was like, I've got a great opening line here. 898 00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:06,480 So I said I got up and I went, guys, I'm here in honeymoon, 899 00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:08,760 which I was. But I think people thought this 900 00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:10,080 is like a joke. I always do. 901 00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:12,480 And I went, my wife thinks I'm at the ice machine. 902 00:39:13,720 --> 00:39:15,280 Nothing. People. 903 00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,160 People are like, I don't, I don't believe you're on Lehman. 904 00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:19,360 Or if you are, that's it would have been it's. 905 00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:21,480 Really funny that you actually wear on honeymoon, but because 906 00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:23,760 they think that's a bit then she did think I was at the ice 907 00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:28,360 machine. Did she Umm, the Pats and in a 908 00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:29,520 skill and as well. I did it. 909 00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:31,400 So what you by the way, it's a great. 910 00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:33,960 Everybody else loves it and the room's. 911 00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:37,200 Packed and it's cool, but you were supposed to be on the night 912 00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:40,160 I did it a few months ago, but you pulled out because you were 913 00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:41,320 so close to the birth of your son. 914 00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:42,680 You're like, I don't know, I don't want to be too far away 915 00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:45,240 from the house and kissed. Things get exciting. 916 00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:47,960 And Colin stepped on last minute. 917 00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:51,720 Now I remember going on stage and the first 3 rows were all we 918 00:39:51,720 --> 00:39:54,280 lads here, about 17, all wearing the exact same outfit. 919 00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:57,040 And I was like, these are all, they're all here to see Shane. 920 00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:58,720 They're often TikTok like it's that sort of thing. 921 00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:02,440 And they I was doing lots of stuff about my daughter and 922 00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:05,160 being married and all and doing AVF and they were all. 923 00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:09,200 They just stared at me the whole time like they and I like do we 924 00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:10,920 do like 1/2 hour set in about 20 minutes. 925 00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:16,640 And then I got off and I was like taking a beamer and I went 926 00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:20,960 over to Mark Mccarney and Colin and I was all that was. 927 00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:22,440 Really bad and they. Both just went. 928 00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:28,360 I just took a breath and I. Was all I'm gonna go but I 929 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:31,200 prefer that though also. Like you've liked to walk off 930 00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:33,280 and then no, it was brilliant. No, because they would have 931 00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:34,520 been. They would have been lying and 932 00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:36,760 we all would have known that. But I think I probably should 933 00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:38,680 have walked off and just walked past them. 934 00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:40,960 Just gone left and I did just leave. 935 00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:43,160 I will do. This thing I've talked about 936 00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:46,680 before where like if someone doesn't do well and they know it 937 00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:51,560 and everyone knows it and I will never go, that was great because 938 00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:54,080 I wouldn't want something to me. So if you've had a bad 1 and I 939 00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:55,960 think you have your notice because you come off and I go, 940 00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:58,800 well, did you enjoy it? Like that's the only thing I 941 00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:00,720 think to say. Yeah, you have said that to. 942 00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:02,280 Me before. Yeah, quite a lot. 943 00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:06,720 Cars being in Galway always, no matter how good of a get, 944 00:41:06,720 --> 00:41:09,120 especially if you have a good gig, you walk off like, oh, that 945 00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:10,200 was amazing. And he'll go. 946 00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:12,320 You'll get them next time. Yeah, yeah. 947 00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:14,840 Is that Willy T or? Every time I gig. 948 00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:16,240 With Carly, you come off and he goes here. 949 00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:18,400 I love that bet he goes what if you added this? 950 00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:20,200 And yeah, he's like a wee mentor is all. 951 00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:22,920 What if it's perfect? Yeah, apart from. 952 00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:24,960 All the suggestions that I'm going to give you and it is 953 00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:26,480 always good who? Who's in the building? 954 00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:29,560 Oh, do you? Appreciate people giving you 955 00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:31,400 advice about like. Bets of stand up or you like 956 00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:33,800 fuck off. It depends who it is. 957 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:35,280 It depends like. What it is? 958 00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:37,240 What if it was me? Yeah. 959 00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:40,080 Yeah, because you've seen. Get a lot of my gigs. 960 00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,520 You kind of know it's different of someone you've never met 961 00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:44,240 before. Goes well here. 962 00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:47,840 My tower recently goes. Came to see the opera show and 963 00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:52,160 he's like picked like 2 bits. He's like really like those 964 00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:54,240 bits. He's see the way the audience 965 00:41:54,240 --> 00:41:56,280 react that no, he goes in your neck show. 966 00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:59,360 Why don't you just do bits like like like that? 967 00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:02,080 I was like, what do you mean? He's like all the rest? 968 00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:03,360 Well, they went. They were like. 969 00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:05,920 Unbelievable those. Bits and say there are two bits, 970 00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:07,240 so why don't you just do more of that? 971 00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:10,280 And I was like, Oh yeah, I've never thought about doing that. 972 00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:11,920 Really funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 973 00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:13,560 Why? We hold them back, Yeah, I said 974 00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:14,720 to him. I was like, that's like going up 975 00:42:14,720 --> 00:42:17,320 to like a premier. League footballer who scores one 976 00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:19,600 goal 30 games and we'll see when you scored. 977 00:42:20,240 --> 00:42:21,680 Always just do that. That was the good stuff. 978 00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:23,240 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just keep doing that. 979 00:42:23,240 --> 00:42:25,280 Yeah. Why we not thinking but it? 980 00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:26,240 Depends. It depends who it. 981 00:42:26,240 --> 00:42:30,160 Is it depends? Yeah, I I like it because I'll 982 00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:32,920 phone Dave if we're on the same gig on the way. 983 00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:36,400 We'll speak the whole way home, the whole way really about the 984 00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:39,200 gig, the material. I'm like, you're this bit. 985 00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:40,680 Maybe you could say this and vice versa. 986 00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:43,000 See, that's great because every now and then. 987 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:45,800 Sean and I would try and bounce off each other for ideas for, 988 00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:48,880 for, for both have something coming up and so much comes from 989 00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:50,920 it. And like we, it'd be great to 990 00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:52,560 have like a comedian's writer room. 991 00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:54,560 Like everyone just got together. Like do you know your bit about 992 00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:56,280 this? What if we thought and people 993 00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:58,200 just helped you out a bit? Well, sometimes I'll do that 994 00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:01,520 with William or Kieran. Like we'll meet up and it's just 995 00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:04,240 you're not, you're not writing material together, but you're 996 00:43:04,240 --> 00:43:07,640 going, I've got this bit and you sort of explain. 997 00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:09,720 It and they go oh. What if you what if you came out 998 00:43:09,720 --> 00:43:12,160 of from this? I mean that's it's like the 999 00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:15,160 early I'm an island Epson. Island. 1000 00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:21,440 What's your favourite island? The one St. 1001 00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:22,680 Martin? Where's that? 1002 00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:24,600 The Caribbean? You. 1003 00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:26,880 Oh, you were there in honeymoon? I'm only saying that because 1004 00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:28,960 it's the one where the. Aeroplanes fly really low and 1005 00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:30,520 almost wacky in the face. Oh really? 1006 00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:33,080 They, they, they come about. I hang about 10 metres above 1007 00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:36,120 your head, you see, you go and watch the plane come in and then 1008 00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:39,560 after that 30 seconds has passed its shape, there's nothing to do 1009 00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:41,320 there. I think I like a Caribbean. 1010 00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:42,880 That's wee bit of me. Have you been there? 1011 00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:44,280 No see. Like sandals? 1012 00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:45,360 You know, say. Though, right? 1013 00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:46,760 Loads if it's, loads if it's actually. 1014 00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:48,680 British. Oh yeah. 1015 00:43:48,680 --> 00:43:49,600 Oh, really? Handy. 1016 00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:51,200 You can use your sterling and like. 1017 00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:54,480 It's all handy, but as all. I didn't know they got this far. 1018 00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:54,880 Yeah. Yeah. 1019 00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:56,040 But they did. Yeah. 1020 00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:57,080 Jamaica. They speak English. 1021 00:43:57,440 --> 00:43:58,720 Yeah, but. This week, patois. 1022 00:43:58,720 --> 00:44:01,480 Is that what you call it? Jamaican. 1023 00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:04,560 English, yeah, I would love like that as a don't know if we're 1024 00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:06,160 allowed to do it. No, we're no we're not. 1025 00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:07,160 No, no, no. We're. 1026 00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:09,360 Definitely. But but is it not like it's like 1027 00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:11,720 a dialect like a? Like a like a language, yeah, 1028 00:44:11,720 --> 00:44:13,520 but I just think you still you just you just. 1029 00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:16,000 Don't, don't you not, But can you do it without the accent or 1030 00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:17,920 is that the whole? That's that's this. 1031 00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:18,680 Yeah. Yeah, we're doing. 1032 00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:20,080 It without the accent right now. Yeah. 1033 00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:21,800 This is it. We speak. 1034 00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:23,200 I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1035 00:44:23,240 --> 00:44:24,120 That's it. Like I'm. 1036 00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:27,520 I'm now speaking like Mancunian but without the accent. 1037 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:29,480 Can the next time you do like a headline? 1038 00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:31,400 Set. Can you just do it and patois? 1039 00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:33,280 Yeah. Also, is that what it is called? 1040 00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:35,600 Patois, isn't it? That sounds very French. 1041 00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:37,560 Patois. Yeah, Patois. 1042 00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:39,760 Sounds like something you'd. Like you'd put on your sandwich 1043 00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:42,240 bit of patois before you put the middle. 1044 00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:44,440 It sounds like the wet bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1045 00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:46,760 Maker, that's what. That's a moist bit of meat. 1046 00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:50,440 Patois, yes. Is that what it's called? 1047 00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:52,160 Yeah. Dan, can you hit us with? 1048 00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:56,880 The patois phrase who do? Have you got some patois there? 1049 00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:00,000 How did you spell? Patwa, how did you even Google 1050 00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:00,440 that? I would be. 1051 00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:06,880 A DOIS or something W. PATWAH. 1052 00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:07,600 Oh really? That sounds like. 1053 00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:10,120 Patois. Yeah, see, OIS would have been 1054 00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:12,440 French, right? Do you eat? 1055 00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:15,840 Turkey for Christmas dinner. Yeah, Jack, it's really dry. 1056 00:45:17,320 --> 00:45:20,560 It depends what way it's made. But you put you, you, you 1057 00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:22,440 accessorise it. I only got in the cranberry 1058 00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:25,640 about two years ago. Oh yes, love about a cranberry. 1059 00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:29,320 So last night, whenever we were in pugs, they served us like 1060 00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:32,920 honey mustard sausages. Sean, I make them with our 1061 00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:33,840 Christmas dinner. Right. 1062 00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:36,200 And I think everybody should. Like, that's a fucking addition, 1063 00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:37,560 isn't it? But are you cooking your 1064 00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:38,320 Christmas? Do you cook it? 1065 00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:40,840 No. Your wife cook it? 1066 00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:43,080 No, there's somebody's my cook it. 1067 00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:48,160 I don't know. It's just there. 1068 00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:50,320 You just arrive and it's there. That is the. 1069 00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:52,920 Most I'll never I'll never do Christmas. 1070 00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:55,440 Dinner, ever. If there's anything you want me 1071 00:45:55,440 --> 00:45:57,440 to get for it, I'll go out and I'll get it. 1072 00:45:57,640 --> 00:46:00,920 Whatever you need, I'll get it. But I just, I, I, I can't. 1073 00:46:00,920 --> 00:46:03,760 Like when Sean was growing up and he was like a teenager. 1074 00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:05,720 His whole family went to the Sleeve Donnard for Christmas 1075 00:46:05,720 --> 00:46:08,960 dinner that day and one day and 11 Christmas Day and there was 1076 00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:11,120 like a full peg with an app on its mouth on the table. 1077 00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:14,240 Well, like eating with them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1078 00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:20,200 It was eating the Turkey. I think that's that. 1079 00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:22,560 That was annoying. I think that's. 1080 00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:25,520 A weird move. To do the Christmas Day thing 1081 00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:29,480 but then again no dishes but all trafficking route but also. 1082 00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:30,960 Like. He was like, it was like. 1083 00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:33,880 Ridiculously expensive back then for like people who didn't think 1084 00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:35,280 you didn't money back then, your main. 1085 00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:36,480 So obviously that robbed the bank. 1086 00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:39,840 Yeah, the Northern Bank. Robbery and like had. 1087 00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:42,160 To launder it through the sleeve Donner Christmas dinner. 1088 00:46:42,240 --> 00:46:43,800 What's overrated about Christmas? 1089 00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:46,200 What do? You. 1090 00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:48,200 Mulled wine. Strengthen. 1091 00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:49,760 Gross. Absolutely. 1092 00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:50,800 Strengthen, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 1093 00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:53,120 Present, the whole present thing. 1094 00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:56,000 Like we know in our family and my friends, we don't buy 1095 00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:58,560 presents for anybody anymore. Any adults, right? 1096 00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:01,080 Which is a wee bit miserable. But also it's like, what the 1097 00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:02,400 fuck is the point? You're going to get shite and 1098 00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:04,320 you're going to buy shite. Are you a good present? 1099 00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:07,600 Giver the best really, but I also wrap. 1100 00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:11,400 Presents like it's an art form. OK, I used to do tinfoil. 1101 00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:16,520 Genuinely tinfoil, yeah. I used to do on Boxing Day when 1102 00:47:16,520 --> 00:47:20,520 I worked in the Yacht Club as a dishwasher when I was like 1617, 1103 00:47:21,360 --> 00:47:25,200 I would get my boat, you got your Christmas bonus and I would 1104 00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:27,800 get dropped off by one of the other waiters at the big 1105 00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:30,160 Tesco's. And I would do more Christmas 1106 00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:32,760 shopping and I would always buy a roll of tinfoil and I would 1107 00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:36,720 just take the gift done because you do then kind of unwrap it, 1108 00:47:36,720 --> 00:47:39,400 but it takes 2 minutes to do. That is shit. 1109 00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:41,080 It's sad, isn't? It Yeah, yeah, I. 1110 00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:42,640 Would I properly like do like Brown? 1111 00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:45,040 Paper and both. And then I get like from like 1112 00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:50,480 outside, like hankins and like acorns and like bets and stuff. 1113 00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:52,800 They go on. My favourite thing is they hang 1114 00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:53,560 out. Meg Lugon. 1115 00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:57,360 Fuck me, Meg Lugon. We have a great time. 1116 00:47:57,960 --> 00:48:00,600 So it's a lot more peaceful than the other types of guns. 1117 00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:02,360 Yeah, glue. I'll glue shit. 1118 00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:04,160 I'll just glue all my acorns and shit under. 1119 00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:06,680 Like my packaging is fucking phenom. 1120 00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:08,440 It sounds. Yeah, Although it's saying out 1121 00:48:08,440 --> 00:48:10,560 there, it was Sean's birthday yesterday and I felt like a fuck 1122 00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:11,920 off. Would you not get him anything 1123 00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:14,000 I. Did like but it was nothing. 1124 00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:16,440 Special. It got like shoes and aftershave 1125 00:48:16,440 --> 00:48:17,880 and just shit like that. What shoes? 1126 00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:20,560 What aftershave? Just like a pair of brown 1127 00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:22,400 leather. Necks, shoes, like they're like 1128 00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:26,680 trainers, like smart trainers. There's like, no, they're like 1129 00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:29,200 dressy trainers that you would wear with like a pair of 1130 00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:31,080 trousers. What colours are so white? 1131 00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:34,760 Whites. They're like trainers, but 1132 00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:37,120 they're like colour mark. Brown. 1133 00:48:39,240 --> 00:48:41,080 They're nice and then they got out of shape. 1134 00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:43,000 They're not nice. And then I. 1135 00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:44,840 Got like a Christmas jumper and so shit. 1136 00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:47,400 So. I got. 1137 00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:51,360 I usually buy him Chanel blue, but there was one left so got 1138 00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:55,000 him Gucci guilty for men. Now listen, I wear Gucci guilty 1139 00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:57,680 as a day perfume and I'm just like, do what happened? 1140 00:48:57,680 --> 00:48:59,840 I ran over the shop and said it was 5 to 9 the night before it 1141 00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:01,760 was close and I'm done to boots and then a small selection. 1142 00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:03,560 I was like, just give me that because I know the name. 1143 00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:05,920 I mean, it's baller that John will just. 1144 00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:08,040 Be walking about doing gigs guccied up. 1145 00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:10,440 Yeah, I'm just walking about spreading Gucci. 1146 00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:11,640 Yeah, I love that. What? 1147 00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:12,320 Why? What do you wear? 1148 00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:16,640 I left my good aftershave. Should I hear right? 1149 00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:20,160 I left my good aftershave in Liverpool in the hotel room. 1150 00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:22,320 Don't ring Liverpool now, I'll ring the hotel. 1151 00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:24,880 To see if they still have it. Well, they won't. 1152 00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:28,520 Oh my God, 1103. William. 1153 00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:31,000 My car's broken down on back roads here. 1154 00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:34,880 Now there's something going on, because what does he mean on 1155 00:49:34,880 --> 00:49:37,000 back roads? He doesn't like you anymore. 1156 00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:40,240 It was he's feeling weird since the massage thing. 1157 00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:44,440 The sad thing is I can see his reflection. 1158 00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:48,600 In his dashboard he's crying, right? 1159 00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:50,840 Let's see if I can get this aftershave. 1160 00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:52,000 Pack. You won't. 1161 00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,880 I left my full house. Keys, like when I was a student 1162 00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:57,080 and I live in the whole lands, Do we have a front door key? 1163 00:49:57,080 --> 00:50:00,160 And then the same front door key will lead to your bedroom. 1164 00:50:00,360 --> 00:50:03,320 Yeah, like magic. But somebody else's front door 1165 00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:06,320 key will lead to their bedroom like magic. 1166 00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:08,400 Do you mind? It's very complicated setup, you 1167 00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:10,520 know, like that's one of those things who understands it, but 1168 00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:11,480 just you. Got to go with it. 1169 00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:13,240 Yeah, Yeah. Do you mean you don't 1170 00:50:13,240 --> 00:50:16,200 understand? This How do they all? 1171 00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:17,640 Open the I have no fucking. Idea. 1172 00:50:17,680 --> 00:50:19,080 How do they all open the front door? 1173 00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:21,280 Yeah. But then not individual 1174 00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:25,440 bedrooms, right? Science, yeah, but I. 1175 00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:29,400 Left my keys in my holiday in like in my holidays, right? 1176 00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:39,680 I've left my keys in my. Holidays and. 1177 00:50:41,720 --> 00:50:45,880 Then. And then I came from each case. 1178 00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:49,760 That's their holidays. Mommy, my daddy go is. 1179 00:50:49,760 --> 00:50:53,000 Not a left. Member holidays but I came back 1180 00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:55,240 and I had to ring a locksmith going fuck sake I don't have my 1181 00:50:55,240 --> 00:50:58,120 keys but I had to pay for every fuckers there was. 1182 00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:01,160 I'm sharing with six people because the front door lock was 1183 00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:03,040 being changed. Right right, right. 1184 00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:05,040 Every fuckers bedroom. Cost me 400. 1185 00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:07,080 Pounds as a student, I was like 18. 1186 00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:09,280 I had to pay that. But that's what I mean. 1187 00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:11,280 When I rang the hotel, they were like, no, we don't have your 1188 00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:13,720 keys. You weren't even here, but 1189 00:51:13,720 --> 00:51:14,640 that's, I mean, you're going to make them. 1190 00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:16,760 And they will. Not have that pay aftershave. 1191 00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:19,920 Also what aftershave is it Tom Ford? 1192 00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:22,160 It's nice how. Much was left of it. 1193 00:51:22,560 --> 00:51:24,400 Oh good. But the. 1194 00:51:24,400 --> 00:51:26,200 Guy who who sold? It to me in Vic. 1195 00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:29,040 Square put, I'd say 20 squirts on me. 1196 00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:32,760 I said, how do you actually spray aftershave? 1197 00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:35,560 Some people will put it on their clothes, some people put it 1198 00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:37,440 there. Whatever, I said, what's the 1199 00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:39,040 right way to do it? I swear to God this guy just 1200 00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:41,360 grabbed me by the scruff of the neck, put me into him and was 1201 00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:43,960 like all over and went just like that. 1202 00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:45,760 Weird. I'll tell you something. 1203 00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:47,480 He doesn't know what he's talking about. 1204 00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:49,120 Really. All them people. 1205 00:51:49,560 --> 00:51:51,680 I work there. Wait, we're all talk shit. 1206 00:51:52,200 --> 00:51:53,720 You're supposed to spray the back of your legs? 1207 00:51:53,720 --> 00:51:56,120 No, you're not. What do? 1208 00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:57,880 You mean? Behind. 1209 00:51:57,880 --> 00:52:00,320 Your kneecap. Who smell, man? 1210 00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:02,760 Well, you're. Meant to put it in places. 1211 00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:06,480 That that exuded the rest of the day Well for short people have 1212 00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:10,080 you want. Them to smell you. 1213 00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:13,360 Back of your knees, back of your neck. 1214 00:52:13,960 --> 00:52:17,840 Warwick Davis is like, oh you. Smell good, I think. 1215 00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:18,800 I've. Mentioned them. 1216 00:52:19,280 --> 00:52:20,800 That's why. Oh, really? 1217 00:52:22,280 --> 00:52:24,160 Mind you, the nicest smelling knees. 1218 00:52:24,240 --> 00:52:26,280 I've ever seen, ever snuffed Hello. 1219 00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:32,880 You should drag and go listen. I'm a. 1220 00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:36,920 Comedian and I've left aftershave there. 1221 00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:44,280 Oh, what room is it? I'll have to get someone I 1222 00:52:44,280 --> 00:52:45,400 think. You're supposed to spread there 1223 00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:48,040 as well, at the back of your. Your arm, because your 1224 00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:51,840 heartbeats are you're supposed. To do, Yeah, yeah. 1225 00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:53,040 Like where were? Your. 1226 00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:55,320 Pulses, all right, I think, well, that would be there to you 1227 00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:56,480 in the back of. Your knees, like that's where 1228 00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:57,520 veins come out. Yeah. 1229 00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:00,080 Yeah. And then I gave up on this. 1230 00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:01,000 But it was. It was. 1231 00:53:01,760 --> 00:53:05,560 I don't. I'm not like I'm not tight with 1232 00:53:05,560 --> 00:53:08,160 money at all. No at all, but. 1233 00:53:08,320 --> 00:53:10,280 It's very. Rare I go, I'm going to get 1234 00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:12,360 something really nice, like the hotel in Edinburgh. 1235 00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:13,440 Yeah. I was like, I'm going to be 1236 00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:15,040 travelling, want to get a good sleep? 1237 00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:22,080 No. I used to work on the perfume. 1238 00:53:22,080 --> 00:53:25,840 Counters in Debenhams and but it's not for years and the 1239 00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:29,720 makeup counters and the shit you tell people that is not true. 1240 00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:31,960 Oh like yeah, my God. And you're like. 1241 00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:34,480 You don't have. Any expert information 1242 00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:36,840 whatsoever, but you're like, well, this is clattered in 1243 00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:39,680 vitamins, AC and A and actually as soon as you use this you'll 1244 00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:43,080 you look at the foetus and you're just making shit up Who 1245 00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:44,880 who's walking into Devon is going just. 1246 00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:46,680 Make me look like you're foetus. I just want to be a foetus. 1247 00:53:47,040 --> 00:53:48,840 But do you know the? Amount of white women that come 1248 00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:50,800 in and have me pictures of Beyoncé and go can I I get my 1249 00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:55,000 makeup I got and I'm like there's I don't think so there's 1250 00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:57,000 that's not going to happen. I'm saying about this recently, 1251 00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,600 right? I see when I was younger. 1252 00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:01,760 I don't think I had. As many mates as I thought. 1253 00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:03,960 Uh, no. Yeah, you can say. 1254 00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:06,840 That well, I was, you know, I was and I'm only. 1255 00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:08,680 Seeing this recently, I was an overbearing friend. 1256 00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:11,240 Oh, but then you're an only child. 1257 00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:13,520 Yeah, true. So that's that's. 1258 00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:15,080 Bound to be. You're about to see other people 1259 00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:17,960 and just go. I I was calling for. 1260 00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:20,080 People I can't remember being called for. 1261 00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:24,000 Oh, there was a wee. Boy in my street, he was like. 1262 00:54:24,520 --> 00:54:27,360 Much younger than me. He was only about 3, maybe 5. 1263 00:54:27,360 --> 00:54:29,880 And then I said about 9:00 and they used to call to the house 1264 00:54:29,880 --> 00:54:32,680 and he always had a runny nose and I was always going. 1265 00:54:32,680 --> 00:54:35,040 So you knew it was his body was fighting the infection. 1266 00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:38,880 He used to always go. As me, you want to come a night. 1267 00:54:38,880 --> 00:54:41,520 And he would call me Nuna, and I was always turned. 1268 00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:44,920 Go on. No, get the fuck off my doors. 1269 00:54:44,920 --> 00:54:45,880 What's happened dude? You know? 1270 00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:49,800 He's like a counsellor. And I don't know where you ever 1271 00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:51,520 look people in school up. Yeah, sure. 1272 00:54:51,960 --> 00:54:55,920 Umm, a guy that he. Was 11/2 doors down for me, was 1273 00:54:56,040 --> 00:54:59,360 placed for Derry City and was one of the guy they will make. 1274 00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:02,120 They won the cup. Shane Mcaleny Oh why he he 1275 00:55:02,120 --> 00:55:04,480 follows me on an Instagram. He's come on the podcast. 1276 00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:05,640 Oh really? He's. 1277 00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:07,000 Really good player, Yeah, he played across. 1278 00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:08,840 Water, didn't he? Him and his brother, him and 1279 00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:10,240 Patrick Mcaleny. They like they were mine. 1280 00:55:10,240 --> 00:55:11,680 Extra neighbours for like 10 years. 1281 00:55:11,680 --> 00:55:14,520 Played for Dundal as a child. Well, they were always playing 1282 00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:17,480 football. Umm, probably, yeah, but I'm. 1283 00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:22,920 Between putting Mondays on right, but but my ma used to do 1284 00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:24,560 their ma's hair. Patricia Oh really? 1285 00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:28,120 But I always have vivid memories of my ma doing their ma's hair 1286 00:55:28,120 --> 00:55:29,800 and I'd be in their house because they had three sisters 1287 00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:31,200 as well and I'd be playing with their sisters. 1288 00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:34,520 I might be all I'd go under the love, the kitchen and build my 1289 00:55:34,520 --> 00:55:35,960 mom. My mommy can come down to our 1290 00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:38,200 house and play and my mom. I remember always with my mommy 1291 00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:41,440 behind their Ma so their Ma couldn't see her and she would 1292 00:55:41,440 --> 00:55:44,360 just be like, she obviously didn't want people to come to 1293 00:55:44,360 --> 00:55:46,120 her house to play. Oh, OK, because that's where we 1294 00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:49,840 got beat. She was just like no, don't 1295 00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:51,440 House of heart and she in. Her face and. 1296 00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:54,080 Always just dropping out of my. Fucking blood would turn cold 1297 00:55:54,080 --> 00:55:57,040 and I'd be all actually, but I I think I've got a good age. 1298 00:55:57,040 --> 00:55:59,280 Dancing. You can't come anymore. 1299 00:55:59,480 --> 00:56:00,800 I love looking people from school. 1300 00:56:01,360 --> 00:56:02,960 Yeah. Do you see the people used to 1301 00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:04,120 fancy? Primary school are really 1302 00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:07,520 stinking to the juice. Don't I mean you? 1303 00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:10,240 Just you're like, ah, just you just don't look the same 1304 00:56:10,240 --> 00:56:11,840 anymore. Would you rather weird? 1305 00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:13,000 You're like, oh, you're so. Hot. 1306 00:56:13,720 --> 00:56:18,160 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Once you fancied sexual, do you 1307 00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:21,280 know what I mean? Once if you couldn't wait to go 1308 00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:26,920 away a sexual Yeah, but you know when. 1309 00:56:27,240 --> 00:56:29,160 I always find it weird when. You say because you remember 1310 00:56:29,160 --> 00:56:30,320 them as a child. You know, they have like a 1311 00:56:30,320 --> 00:56:32,280 child's face, but on an adult body. 1312 00:56:32,280 --> 00:56:34,200 Yeah. Yeah, Some people just don't 1313 00:56:34,200 --> 00:56:35,800 look. It's not that they don't look 1314 00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:36,960 good, they just don't look right. 1315 00:56:36,960 --> 00:56:38,960 You're like, I didn't see your face going like this. 1316 00:56:38,960 --> 00:56:40,800 Yes, I didn't see the transition. 1317 00:56:41,040 --> 00:56:42,400 No. And if I hadn't just met, you 1318 00:56:42,400 --> 00:56:44,000 know, you'd look like an absolutely normal person. 1319 00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:46,080 But because I know that face used to be 6. 1320 00:56:46,080 --> 00:56:48,320 Yeah, like sometimes I think I'm in the Truman. 1321 00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:52,400 Show and when I look someone up yeah, they didn't expect. 1322 00:56:52,520 --> 00:56:55,760 They. They didn't expect, Oh no, it's 1323 00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:58,400 on the Kanye West. They didn't expect me to look 1324 00:56:58,400 --> 00:56:59,840 them up. That's why you buy tinfoil for 1325 00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:01,760 me helmet so they have to. Make the pitch with them really 1326 00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:03,360 quick. Oh. 1327 00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:08,840 Yeah, like, actually like a. Jigsaw puzzle of five different 1328 00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:10,600 people's. Faces being stuck together. 1329 00:57:11,880 --> 00:57:13,320 They're just making up a name. Bob. 1330 00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:15,520 This guy was in my class for one week in. 1331 00:57:15,520 --> 00:57:18,600 P3 and I searched him and they're like fuck, put something 1332 00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:20,080 together. They're like he was only an 1333 00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:22,880 extra fuck. Sake, but he's loving it. 1334 00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:24,640 Because he's getting. The money again, after years of 1335 00:57:24,640 --> 00:57:28,000 nothing, it popped back up. And would you rather have been 1336 00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,440 an ugly child that morphed into a better looking adult or the 1337 00:57:30,440 --> 00:57:32,320 other way around? That's exactly I was the first 1338 00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:33,320 thing. That's what happened. 1339 00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:35,600 Yeah, yeah. Because but, but, but it's 1340 00:57:35,720 --> 00:57:38,280 damaging when you're a wee ugly child and you're in school and 1341 00:57:38,280 --> 00:57:39,800 like no one. So like do you maybe you're 1342 00:57:39,800 --> 00:57:42,600 going to hold that damage so you're always thinking child and 1343 00:57:42,600 --> 00:57:46,520 nobody fancies you. Yeah, that's a hard time, I 1344 00:57:46,560 --> 00:57:49,000 think. Yeah, I think people, I think 1345 00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:52,040 you could see potential me when I was ugly, but other kids are 1346 00:57:52,040 --> 00:57:55,160 going to go here, see when. We look him up when we're 33. 1347 00:57:55,160 --> 00:57:57,880 Yeah, he's going to still look weird, but better. 1348 00:57:59,640 --> 00:58:00,720 They're going to rush to make me. 1349 00:58:00,880 --> 00:58:02,840 Yeah. Is there anybody who you went to 1350 00:58:02,840 --> 00:58:05,760 school with who's like? Who's like really successful at 1351 00:58:05,760 --> 00:58:07,960 something that you're like, wow, that person don't well 1352 00:58:07,960 --> 00:58:11,040 themselves or do you think is it just is it is it you? 1353 00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:13,400 No, I think only because what I do is like a. 1354 00:58:13,400 --> 00:58:14,960 Public thing, if that makes sense. 1355 00:58:15,120 --> 00:58:17,080 Probably some of the business world or killing it. 1356 00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:18,520 Yeah. You're like doing proper shit, 1357 00:58:18,600 --> 00:58:20,800 yeah. Yeah, although when I see. 1358 00:58:20,800 --> 00:58:22,120 People by school. Share with her like. 1359 00:58:22,120 --> 00:58:26,880 Bald of like they just look old not if they don't need to be 1360 00:58:26,880 --> 00:58:29,240 bald, but like they just they just look old. 1361 00:58:29,240 --> 00:58:31,120 They had a more stressful life than you look like you. 1362 00:58:31,120 --> 00:58:33,880 Yeah, because you're getting. Missus miss massages by fucking 1363 00:58:33,880 --> 00:58:36,280 Tyson Furies Missus and Liverpool. 1364 00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:39,520 These guys are working all day. Yeah, I don't know. 1365 00:58:39,520 --> 00:58:43,000 I It's just where I. Don't think I look at people 1366 00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:46,640 might and I'm like they grew up at the on the right scale. 1367 00:58:46,880 --> 00:58:48,000 That makes sense. Yeah. 1368 00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:49,600 But Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. They're. 1369 00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:51,680 Not they do look like they're in their 30s and you don't. 1370 00:58:52,080 --> 00:58:54,000 It's not that I don't think I look my age and it's just. 1371 00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:57,240 Like I. Don't need to. 1372 00:58:57,240 --> 00:59:02,040 I don't go to like. An off I don't need to, I don't. 1373 00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:04,160 Need to be serious. Serious or anything? 1374 00:59:04,360 --> 00:59:06,200 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I kind of pull. 1375 00:59:06,360 --> 00:59:07,960 Once you start doing. Stand up. 1376 00:59:08,600 --> 00:59:11,440 I think you kind of pause there for a while in terms of like the 1377 00:59:11,440 --> 00:59:14,440 way you dress all that. Yeah, wee bit as I was saying 1378 00:59:14,440 --> 00:59:16,360 about like when I. The street that I grew up in 1379 00:59:16,360 --> 00:59:19,000 that your guy who plays for dairy left next door or two 1380 00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:21,480 doors down. Hey, so that street there was an 1381 00:59:21,520 --> 00:59:23,840 absolute shit all still as like it's like a really rough area 1382 00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:25,720 And I lived there till I was 10/9 or 10. 1383 00:59:26,160 --> 00:59:29,120 And I remember being in Debenhams and Dairy 1 Christmas 1384 00:59:29,120 --> 00:59:31,000 doing Christmas shopping and a girl that worked there was all 1385 00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:33,680 to me. Did you used to live in Gallia? 1386 00:59:33,680 --> 00:59:36,600 And I was all yeah, but not till she probably did that thing 1387 00:59:36,600 --> 00:59:38,800 which looked at my face when I know that child's face. 1388 00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:40,280 But it's not in a 30 year old woman. 1389 00:59:40,280 --> 00:59:41,840 Yeah. Oh, this was recently. 1390 00:59:41,880 --> 00:59:43,680 Oh, like. The past couple years she's 1391 00:59:43,680 --> 00:59:44,880 like, did you? Still haven't get in as well. 1392 00:59:44,880 --> 00:59:47,760 And she was, oh, I just remembered your face from then 1393 00:59:47,760 --> 00:59:50,200 and I saw she was like, you don't look like someone who used 1394 00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:52,520 to live there. And I was like, is that a 1395 00:59:52,520 --> 00:59:54,120 compliment? I think, yeah, I think it is. 1396 00:59:54,120 --> 00:59:55,800 But it's like. What are the rest of them look 1397 00:59:55,800 --> 00:59:57,880 like? Yeah, all, all haunted. 1398 00:59:58,080 --> 01:00:00,080 Yeah, yeah, yeah, just like rocking back and. 1399 01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:02,480 Forth screaming and crying Who's been the best? 1400 01:00:02,480 --> 01:00:03,760 Last question, Who's been the best? 1401 01:00:03,760 --> 01:00:05,080 Podcast guest you've had on recently. 1402 01:00:05,200 --> 01:00:06,440 Who surprised you? Who's coming? 1403 01:00:06,440 --> 01:00:08,400 You've gone. Wow, that's great. 1404 01:00:08,440 --> 01:00:11,800 Hey. I don't know. 1405 01:00:12,520 --> 01:00:14,960 I love when Sean's on. I've really good fun with Sean 1406 01:00:14,960 --> 01:00:17,120 when Sean's on it. If Sean, Hank, Sean's only done 1407 01:00:17,160 --> 01:00:20,480 it once or twice. Fuck, I can't even remember who. 1408 01:00:20,480 --> 01:00:23,560 Maybe some guests are. Do you know? 1409 01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:28,040 Pardon. Mark Mccarney is fucking great. 1410 01:00:28,080 --> 01:00:30,040 Yeah. He's because he's so different. 1411 01:00:30,080 --> 01:00:31,040 Yeah. He's very funny. 1412 01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:33,800 He's very funny. And also, who's a great guest? 1413 01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:36,000 Bruno Diamond? Yeah, she's a great guest. 1414 01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:36,760 She's very funny. She's. 1415 01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:37,440 Very quick. She's very. 1416 01:00:37,440 --> 01:00:39,040 Intelligent. I actually don't think I've seen 1417 01:00:39,040 --> 01:00:41,400 Bruno do stand up. She's she's good. 1418 01:00:41,400 --> 01:00:43,640 I know she was good, yeah, but. She is actually very 1419 01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:45,040 intelligent. You don't and then that's like 1420 01:00:45,160 --> 01:00:48,200 you don't think she would be. But she is very well read. 1421 01:00:48,200 --> 01:00:50,240 She's got a fucking great vocabulary. 1422 01:00:50,280 --> 01:00:52,400 I heard she was really good doing. 1423 01:00:52,400 --> 01:00:54,520 My Blood live at Ulster Hall. Yeah, yeah. 1424 01:00:54,680 --> 01:00:57,240 And that would be a perfect. Audience for her to Haliens. 1425 01:00:58,600 --> 01:01:00,160 Yeah. How's your favourite podcast 1426 01:01:00,160 --> 01:01:03,080 guest before we move recently? Sony surprised? 1427 01:01:03,080 --> 01:01:04,920 Me. Ever. 1428 01:01:05,600 --> 01:01:12,040 Oh, best ever. Jeez, probably. 1429 01:01:12,040 --> 01:01:15,600 Just probably. OK, Kieran. 1430 01:01:15,640 --> 01:01:17,080 Yeah, I thought you were going to say don't in. 1431 01:01:17,080 --> 01:01:20,200 There just. But that was that was Zoom. 1432 01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:22,440 That was my favourite thing, that. 1433 01:01:22,440 --> 01:01:24,280 Said here Nope. I've. 1434 01:01:24,280 --> 01:01:25,440 Been rubbing my eyes over. This. 1435 01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:29,680 And who are you? Dying to get on. 1436 01:01:29,680 --> 01:01:32,480 Still there, McKenna, but yes. But yeah, it's going to happen 1437 01:01:32,480 --> 01:01:33,160 though, isn't it? Nope. 1438 01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:38,080 He's falling out, maybe. I just don't know it just like 1439 01:01:38,360 --> 01:01:41,880 no, he just it's got noise. What are we? 1440 01:01:41,920 --> 01:01:42,840 What are we? Scatter. 1441 01:01:43,080 --> 01:01:45,040 I'll get him. Eventually your. 1442 01:01:45,040 --> 01:01:48,200 Podcast Plug it, Remember When with Dana Doherty. 1443 01:01:49,160 --> 01:01:55,120 Out every Thursday. Oh, why? 1444 01:01:55,560 --> 01:01:57,440 There's basically so. I mean, there are a couple 1445 01:01:57,440 --> 01:01:58,520 tickets. There's a handful of tickets 1446 01:01:58,520 --> 01:02:00,880 left for Home Alone GOH actually. 1447 01:02:00,880 --> 01:02:03,000 Don't worry. About it if you want to. 1448 01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:05,200 Go do that you're. Like do I fuck? 1449 01:02:05,400 --> 01:02:07,320 There's only there's a handful of tickets left. 1450 01:02:07,320 --> 01:02:11,600 For Boxing Day and New Year's Eve, the other 31 shows have 1451 01:02:11,600 --> 01:02:13,640 like 2-3 tickets left, but they're all single seats. 1452 01:02:13,760 --> 01:02:16,600 But it's a great seat to buy if you don't like your boyfriend 1453 01:02:16,600 --> 01:02:18,040 and you're like, let's go see a Christmas show. 1454 01:02:18,040 --> 01:02:19,920 But you sit over there, Joe, it's funny. 1455 01:02:20,480 --> 01:02:22,200 You were like when you work. At the perfume, kind of. 1456 01:02:22,200 --> 01:02:25,040 Do you get good at just being like, hey, selling people 1457 01:02:25,040 --> 01:02:26,840 things? What are single seats left? 1458 01:02:26,840 --> 01:02:28,280 But they're the best ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1459 01:02:28,280 --> 01:02:30,160 Why would you want to sit with your friends and family and let 1460 01:02:30,160 --> 01:02:31,680 out? Yeah, Sean and I are going to it 1461 01:02:31,680 --> 01:02:33,280 one night and we're sitting. Separately because there's no 1462 01:02:33,280 --> 01:02:34,000 seats left. Oh really? 1463 01:02:34,040 --> 01:02:36,640 Yeah, but it's your show. Yeah, but you still. 1464 01:02:36,640 --> 01:02:38,040 Need a seat? Pulse rings. 1465 01:02:38,720 --> 01:02:39,880 Or you could sit in the. Box Why do you? 1466 01:02:39,880 --> 01:02:42,680 Want to sit in the box? I know, I know, I'd hear that. 1467 01:02:43,640 --> 01:02:45,840 Anyway, yeah, thank you for coming on. 1468 01:02:45,840 --> 01:02:47,920 Thanks for having me. Dear authority William Thompson, 1469 01:02:47,920 --> 01:02:49,080 how many nipples matches my jumper? 1470 01:02:49,360 --> 01:02:52,320 You what? That's not what I thought. 1471 01:02:52,320 --> 01:02:52,800 You. Said. 1472 01:02:53,400 --> 01:02:54,880 Not what I thought you said. Oh really? 1473 01:02:54,880 --> 01:02:56,440 What do you think my nipples match? 1474 01:02:56,440 --> 01:02:57,840 My jumper and he thought that. Too. 1475 01:02:58,640 --> 01:03:00,120 Well, I hope they don't guys, because. 1476 01:03:00,120 --> 01:03:02,280 That is a serious condition matching nipples. 1477 01:03:02,280 --> 01:03:03,520 The name of this week's episode? Cheers for. 1478 01:03:03,520 --> 01:03:05,960 William Thompson, who's brilliant, I thought it was so 1479 01:03:05,960 --> 01:03:07,000 good. William is probably the best 1480 01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:08,080 guest who's been on. Recently in this. 1481 01:03:08,080 --> 01:03:10,360 Episode Yeah, I love his name work. 1482 01:03:11,640 --> 01:03:12,520 He sort. He sort of. 1483 01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:15,720 You can't say he says too much. No, you know it's right. 1484 01:03:15,720 --> 01:03:17,600 A lot was saying very little. There's a lot in silence. 1485 01:03:18,160 --> 01:03:27,240 SSA Arena. 20 3rd of September next year eh Go take it in the 1486 01:03:27,240 --> 01:03:29,440 description by the time this podcast go out the sequel to. 1487 01:03:29,440 --> 01:03:32,960 Bridesmaids will be on sale for the Opera House next year. 1488 01:03:32,960 --> 01:03:35,440 Kidding me? The Hindu, which sounds like 1489 01:03:35,480 --> 01:03:37,640 him, so is that not controversial? 1490 01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:39,960 Why bring religion into it? No. 1491 01:03:40,920 --> 01:03:47,120 What's a good to be religion. Oh, then I was like, no, I don't 1492 01:03:47,120 --> 01:03:49,960 get that. They're handy and it's on. 1493 01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:51,440 Say it's on. It'll be on sale. 1494 01:03:52,400 --> 01:03:57,280 No, I'm in it, though. I don't want to because, yeah, I 1495 01:03:57,280 --> 01:04:03,800 didn't want. I thought I'm in it again. 1496 01:04:04,000 --> 01:04:06,280 I had written the show with different characters that we 1497 01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:08,240 none of us would be on it. But the producers wanted me to 1498 01:04:08,240 --> 01:04:11,080 put my character on it. So I've rewritten my characters 1499 01:04:11,080 --> 01:04:12,280 back on it. You're the producer, though. 1500 01:04:12,720 --> 01:04:14,920 No, I'm not. Anyway. 1501 01:04:14,920 --> 01:04:17,480 The Handy Opera House and elsewhere. 1502 01:04:17,680 --> 01:04:19,640 Guys, thank you very much for watching, for listening. 1503 01:04:19,640 --> 01:04:22,720 Patreon.com/TV Podcast I need to blow my nose.