1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:04,280 Prime big Deal days is coming October 8th and 9th, which can 2 00:00:04,280 --> 00:00:08,680 lead to involuntary deal squeals like the infamous deal on a new 3 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:13,920 massager squeal. Save big on prime big deal days 4 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:38,120 October 8th and 9th. Zippers, welcome to this episode 5 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:42,200 of the Tea with Me podcast. With me, She and Todd buzzing 6 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:44,320 for this episode. Honestly, in three years of 7 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:47,360 doing this podcast, never been more excited for an episode. 8 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:50,080 And we're going down to actually in real time when we're doing 9 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:51,120 this, we're going down to do it now. 10 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:57,680 So I'm a very giddy young boy. My guest is Bert Kreischer, one 11 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:00,160 of one of the biggest comics in the world. 12 00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:04,560 I went to see Bert in Dublin. Me and Aaron Butler went down 13 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,960 about four years ago. We was playing Vicar St tonight. 14 00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:10,680 The reason we've got him for the podcast is as well as being a 15 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:14,400 huge team with me fan, he's playing a three arena in Dublin. 16 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,480 So we're going down to do an episode with him before the show 17 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:19,880 and it's just wild that we're doing this. 18 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:23,880 I asked him to the podcast, didn't expect a yes. 19 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:28,080 And here we are. This is huge for the podcast. 20 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:33,480 Bert is a stand up, a podcaster. He does podcasts with Tom 21 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:35,760 Segura. He does his own podcast called 22 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:38,440 The Bird Cast and he's got a movie coming out called The 23 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:43,840 Machine, which a lot of people will know Bert as a stand up as 24 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:46,560 one of the America's top comedians. 25 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:51,000 And I think a huge thing that went viral for him was a clip 26 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,880 called The Machine. YouTube it if you haven't seen 27 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,160 it. Where he talks about a school 28 00:01:56,160 --> 00:02:01,240 trip he went on to Russia and that is now being turned into a 29 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,160 movie. If you haven't seen it, watch 30 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:04,240 it. If you've seen it, watch it 31 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:07,560 again because it's one of the best stories ever told. 32 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,880 And when we went down to see his gig in Vicar St, me and Aaron, 33 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,480 it got towards the end of the show and he just asked the 34 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:15,880 audience. Like a few people were shouting 35 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:17,960 it and he was like, yeah, here we go. 36 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:22,360 He finished with it and I think as AI already was a fan, but I 37 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:25,280 warned him so much as a stand up at that point because I was like 38 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:27,360 this guy just wants the audience to have a great time. 39 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:31,800 I told it and you could tell like everyone knew it and they 40 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:33,600 loved it. It took the roof off and there 41 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,360 was people there who hadn't heard it and they were just 42 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:39,640 rolling about in the eyes. So this is this is mod. 43 00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:42,680 This is mod that we're doing it. I mean, you know, Bert's a guest 44 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:45,840 on tea with me this week. He does Joe Rogan quite a lot. 45 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:48,960 You know, it's, it's going to be a little bit of a, it's got a 46 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,920 little bit of a culture shock when you go from GMA to die. 47 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:56,600 But yeah, I'm, I'm so excited to do this. 48 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:59,000 And, and this is what this is what I wanted to do with this 49 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,880 podcast for a long time is comics and people that are 50 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:08,200 coming over to Belfast or Dublin wherever to do shows or when 51 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:10,440 they're filming something. I want them to come to this 52 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:14,960 podcast because, you know, we, I want this to be the local 53 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:18,240 comics, the Belfast acts, the boxers, whoever we have on the 54 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,560 people that you love. And then I want to mix it up and 55 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:24,960 also have huge names on like this and just be in a being a 56 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,600 scenario with them where hopefully they're not being 57 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:29,840 asked stock questions and that kind of thing and we are just 58 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,280 having a cup of tea. Maybe you see them in a in a 59 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:33,800 different way than what they're used to. 60 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:36,000 Bert Kreischer's doing tea with me. 61 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:42,440 This is madness. We also have to of course plug 62 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:45,240 our Patreon which patreon.com/team With Me 63 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:48,600 podcast. We do the bonus episode, we do 64 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:52,440 live stream on a on a Friday, and we put post exclusive gig 65 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:55,920 news up there as well. We'll put the SSE Arena tickets 66 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:59,040 for Team With Me live on sale there before everywhere so you 67 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:03,120 can come check that out. We're sponsored by Nord VPN. 68 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,320 You know what it is by now, even if I don't. 69 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:08,800 It's a virtual private network to protect your Internet 70 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:13,600 connection and privacy online. You you can use public Wi-Fi 71 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,600 spots safely. It gives a secure encrypted 72 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:19,040 tunnel and use. No, I love tunnels. 73 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:20,760 I'm obsessed with underground tunnels. 74 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,120 And next time Bert Kreischer's doing a European Tour and he 75 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:25,560 adds Belfast onto that, which it will make him do, I'm going to 76 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:28,040 take him to some tunnels because he strikes me as a guy who also 77 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,880 enjoys tunnels. You take your cybersecurity to 78 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:35,080 the next level with Nord VPNs threat protection feature. 79 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:38,040 You don't even need the connective VPN server for it to 80 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:39,080 work. Fuck that. 81 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,760 And once you enable it in settings, the threat protection 82 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:43,640 always make sure your browsing safer. 83 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:45,800 You can access content from everywhere. 84 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:48,440 Don't miss your favourite content from home when 85 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:50,760 travelling abroad. It works for Windows, iOS, 86 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:53,200 Linux. I don't even and nobody knows 87 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,320 what Linux is. You can get your exclusive Nord 88 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:58,880 VPN daily by going nordvpn.com/T with me. 89 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,560 All the information for that is in the description. 90 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:05,720 There's also four months for free and Nords risk free 30 day 91 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:08,280 money back guarantee, which is a guarantee that they'll give you 92 00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:12,880 your money back within 30 days. We are also sponsored by 93 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:16,800 manscaped. Now you know by now Manscape is 94 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,040 number one man's below the belt groom and products. 95 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,320 Bert Kreischer is pretty hairy guy. 96 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:24,080 Maybe, maybe we take the lawnmower 4.0 for a ride down to 97 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,480 Dublin shaves back. I don't know. 98 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,760 I don't know how this is going to go, but if that's how it ends 99 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:32,720 up, that's been a good part. Manscaped is is the market 100 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:36,360 leader and all this kind of stuff for for Pew business, you 101 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:39,520 know, for taking care of of the old downstairs. 102 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:43,000 They've got the lawnmower 4.0 These guys have ball cleanser, 103 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:46,720 ball deodorant, ball everything. If it's somebody who will balls, 104 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,600 they're on it. They're on your balls. 105 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:50,800 These guys love it. They do colognes, they do 106 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:54,360 deodorant down in the in the 1L studios bathroom, there's 107 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,600 Manscape deodorant, which is the nice touches wee basket full of 108 00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,800 like different products and there's hair product in there 109 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:03,000 and it is a hair product I use, but I won't use the one we have 110 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,400 here because I'm like who's ruffled their crabby hands 111 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:10,800 through that This before you go to manscape.com, you just go tea 112 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:12,840 with me for 20% off and free shipping. 113 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,960 Unbelievable. If you're going on holiday, if 114 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:17,960 you're travelling, they do the perfect performance package, the 115 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,240 platinum pack. They've got everything. 116 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:22,440 Great gift for an uncle you haven't seen in a while. 117 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:25,280 mansgift.com, you just go tea with me for 20% off. 118 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:29,920 I'm free shipping. Before I explode my not like 119 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:32,760 that, let's introduce this episode of the Tea With Me 120 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,440 podcast. My guest is the one and only 121 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:37,560 Bert Kreischer. Bert, you drink tea. 122 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:42,280 No, you know what's so funny is as a kid I loved tea. 123 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:44,200 Like that was the first grown up drink I could have. 124 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:44,880 Like what? Like what? 125 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:46,560 Because that's weird for a kid to be on tea. 126 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:52,000 So my my my aunt, my great, great grandmother was Iris. 127 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,840 Her name was Fang and. First name. 128 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:57,680 That's what we called her Fang there. 129 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:02,120 I guess there was like ATV show called something in Fang and 130 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:05,240 they she reminded everyone of her and she would have tea with 131 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:07,400 sugar and milk. Yeah. 132 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:10,000 And so then she introduced that to me and I was like, dude, 133 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,200 fucking. So that's not common in America. 134 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,560 No. But see, I find that weird. 135 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,480 What? Did not have milk and sugar with 136 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:21,960 tea. Oh, I, oh, I, I bet it wouldn't 137 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:22,920 have been. It would have been normal. 138 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:27,440 Now everyone's so diet conscious and that no one would ever 139 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:31,120 fucking do that. But I loved, I loved tea with 140 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:33,200 Milky sugar. I fucking loved it. 141 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,920 My my granny used to leave me like a little bit of her tea 142 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:40,480 back in the day which is gross but really nice. 143 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:45,200 Like 3 sugars. I saw I saw a documentary on the 144 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:47,200 guy who started Virgin Airline. Richard Branson. 145 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:50,560 Richard Branson And it was so interesting to me the in the 146 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:52,320 middle of the documentary, they're like everyone's working. 147 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:56,520 And he was like, you know, he's like, can we just break to all 148 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:59,760 have a little tea? And I thought, what the fuck? 149 00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:04,240 Like, what a weird thing to do. But I guess it's customary. 150 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:07,160 I guess it's like, you know, if you do that, if that's how you 151 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:08,400 grow up, then that's what you do. 152 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:13,080 Our thing in the States would be like, what's that noise? 153 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:15,680 You pumping in gas here? I don't know. 154 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:20,280 Do you hear that? Yeah, it sounds like a like a 155 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,560 jungle or something. Is it those pipes again? 156 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:24,720 Or is it? I have by the way. 157 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:27,200 I have no power to stop this. I have no power to stop it 158 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:29,680 either. No, but I I think. 159 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,320 I would just roll yeah. Yeah, yeah, I was just rolling. 160 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:32,600 They're not hearing it. The. 161 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,720 I just think it's such an interesting thing. 162 00:08:34,919 --> 00:08:37,600 I wish I had it 'cause I like treats, I love treats, right? 163 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:39,960 And I and, and tea would be a great treat to be able to put 164 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:41,280 in. Do you get a buzz off tea? 165 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:42,880 Like caffeine? Like you wouldn't believe for 166 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:46,000 real, I just before I go on stage, cup of tea. 167 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,840 No, Yeah, yeah, yeah. That sounds so gay. 168 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:52,080 That's like, that's like you. Know what I do? 169 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:55,040 Can I be honest? I because I like, you know, if I 170 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,680 get too much adrenaline before I go on, I I'm not as good. 171 00:08:57,680 --> 00:08:59,240 I like to be a little bit laid back walking on. 172 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:02,000 I have a cup of tea and I iron whatever shirt I'm going to wear 173 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,040 backstage. So if you see me 5 minutes for 174 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:05,720 going stage, I'm ironing with a cup of tea. 175 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:08,920 Secret time My favourite thing in the world was ironing. 176 00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:12,920 My favourite thing when I wore shirts on stage was to iron a 177 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,280 shirt before the. Show therapeutic. 178 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,720 It's so fucking different. Can I tell you my favourite 179 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:20,080 thing that I I don't miss it. Now I I got to say it's Ari 180 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:21,520 Shaveer. Should we answer? 181 00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:24,600 It tell him you're with me and I'll pretend you should know who 182 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:25,320 I. Am hey, what's up? 183 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:28,520 What's up, bud? Nothing. 184 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:29,920 Nothing. I'm doing a podcast. 185 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:30,480 What are you doing? Oh. 186 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:35,160 You sound, you sound like when you call in on radio and they 187 00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:36,560 say we're going to get you on in a second. 188 00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:40,840 You sound like bad boys. No, I'm doing, I'm doing tea 189 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:45,160 with me with Shane Todd. It's in Ireland. 190 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:46,800 I'm in Ireland. You'll know it. 191 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,080 Oh nice bro. Yeah. 192 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:51,960 What's up, Barry? All right. 193 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:53,720 Well, here, here, Shane wants to say hi. 194 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:55,640 Hey, Ari, how's it going, mate? Hey do. 195 00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:01,000 You ever listen to Big Les? Pardon, Ever. 196 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:02,520 Watch Big Ledge. Yeah. 197 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,560 Watch Big Ledge cartoon. Yeah, yeah. 198 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,920 You sound like sassy. Oh, I appreciate that, Ari. 199 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:08,880 I'm going to say I can say you've been on the podcast now, 200 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:10,400 which is sweet. So I'm crediting that. 201 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,040 That's fair. You can't understand what I'm 202 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,240 saying. Appreciate it brother. 203 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:19,280 I can't no just because that you sound like sassy and big ledge I 204 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:22,400 can understand totally. OK, alright. 205 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:24,200 Yeah, you. Can say I'm on the podcast use 206 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:28,440 me on the thumbnail. OK, yeah, tell him I'm. 207 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:30,840 Gonna call him I I want I need to talk to him. 208 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:31,600 Tell him I'll call. I'll. 209 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:34,680 Just want to call you back, Ari. OK. 210 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:35,920 Thanks for being on team with me tell. 211 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:37,520 Him like AIDS is not a killer anymore. 212 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,880 It's like you can live with. It first of all, first of all, 213 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:41,560 I've never believed in AIDS. Give me this. 214 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:44,720 I've never, I've never I've, you know, I have a real fucking 215 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:48,240 issue with this AIDS fucking agenda being moved forward in 216 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,760 the 80s because they were selling it to me like I was 217 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:56,000 going to get it at homecoming. You're a virgin. 218 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,360 I. Was a virgin. 219 00:10:57,680 --> 00:11:00,000 I thought I had AIDS. I had sex with the first chick I 220 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,200 ever had sex with and I was like, I've got full blown AIDS, 221 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:05,320 I've got full blown AIDS. My dad's like, buddy, that's a 222 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:06,880 fucking freckle. Calm down. 223 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:10,640 All. Right, we're going to have tea. 224 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:16,400 I, I'll, I'll talk to you later. Call me back after crumpets. 225 00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:17,160 All right, bye. You. 226 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:19,760 You take milk. I I would never I because. 227 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:20,920 I will. I'm being I'm I. 228 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:23,280 Will. I'm just can I make this the the 229 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:24,560 make? It make it yeah, OK. 230 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:27,800 You're not driving tonight, right? 231 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:32,280 No, because this. Is full fat milk full fat milk? 232 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,880 I have almond milk, so I'm going to start mine first. 233 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:34,560 Is that OK to go? Yeah. 234 00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:35,760 Of course. Yeah, what the fuck? 235 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,800 So you do you do almond milk in yours. 236 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:40,480 Yeah, yeah, this guy this like gonna ask the mice. 237 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:43,080 Oh. This is and then you put sugar 238 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:44,480 in there to just do it with milk. 239 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,560 No, no, you can't. You can't I I used to. 240 00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:47,760 Yeah, yeah. I won't do it. 241 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,600 I'll do it like this. OK so is this your first like 242 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,480 this first couple like Irish tea or British tea like? 243 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:56,360 Yeah, I would. I went through a tea phase. 244 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,680 They opened like a police place called Teavana. 245 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:04,200 And I like treats like, I like, I like, like, I'm the kind of 246 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,480 guy that would be like, well, I should buy a pipe today, you 247 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:08,480 know, or I'm going to get into, I'm going to get into 248 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:13,160 cigarillos. I and, and the ritual of 249 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:16,360 something, the setting something up like, so this place Teavana 250 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,720 opened and you could pick different flavoured teas and 251 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:20,880 you'd smell them and they'd smell fucking amazing. 252 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,920 And, and then they'd teach you how to steep them. 253 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,800 And then you'd, and then I was like, I'm going to be a tea 254 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:29,040 person. And then this guy, Doug Wilson 255 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:32,320 was like, Oh yeah, I went through a tea phase and he goes 256 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,160 the fucking boiling water's a problem. 257 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:35,880 And I said, really? And he goes burnt the fuck out 258 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,800 of my daughter's arm. She knocked over my tea. 259 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,240 And then I was like, God damn it. 260 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,880 So then I got away from tea. I'm a, I'm not even really a 261 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:43,280 coffee guy, to be dead honest with you. 262 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:46,640 I only do coffee. I may do coffee to, to wake up 263 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:47,800 for a show. I like to have a cup of coffee. 264 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:50,560 I know I was going to tell you my favourite thing I miss from 265 00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:52,360 touring, my favourite thing I miss from touring. 266 00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:54,920 And I always say this like, I, I appreciate it. 267 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:58,320 I don't want it back. I like where I am, so I don't 268 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,400 want to put that in the universe that I want to go back there, 269 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:03,880 but I'm I genuinely miss on Sundays in the states. 270 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:08,280 This is my and, and I think any comic in the states will will 271 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:14,480 get this Sundays waking up, going to subway like right by 272 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,560 the whatever, whatever sandwich shop or whatever thing was right 273 00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:22,080 by your hotel, walking it back to your hotel, taking your bag, 274 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:25,280 emptying it out on the bed, emptying your backpack on the 275 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:29,600 bed, putting on football, having your iPad, your your laptop and 276 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,200 your phone set up with your fantasy football team, your 277 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:34,520 pickams league. Everything's set up. 278 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:38,520 And then slowly throughout your Sunday, repacking your bag, 279 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:41,600 organising, getting ready for next week, possibly even doing 280 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:45,400 laundry at the hotel so that you could pack your bag, leave it in 281 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,760 the foyer and then pick it up on your way out. 282 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:51,520 That fucking Sunday ritual and then and then, and then, and 283 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:53,800 then taking a little bit of a nap at like 4:00, waking up at 284 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:58,520 5:00, going to the gym, working out, going to the club at 7 and 285 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:01,080 and having your first cocktail. And I used to, what I really 286 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:04,320 used to love to do was pick a drink and then drink them out of 287 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:06,520 it. So I'd go White Russians. 288 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,120 Today's White Russians. Just you, by the way, no. 289 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:13,520 No, no, no, the the thing. So I'd go up and I'd say I'd say 290 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:18,360 it's white, White Russian Sunday and and I'd get up on side. 291 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:21,200 Man, I really I'm, I'm, I genuinely loved doing clubs. 292 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:25,800 I love, I love stand up, but the act, the act of having a party 293 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:28,960 every night, throwing a party for myself every night was so 294 00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:32,520 such a fucking treat. And I'd go, I'd get on stage and 295 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:34,760 I'd say, everyone, I'm drinking White Russians tonight. 296 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:36,800 Order yourself a White Russian. We're going to drink them out of 297 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,640 White Russians. And people start going White 298 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:41,160 Russians, White Russians, and then we drink them out of White 299 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:45,600 Russians and and, and, and, and I remember, I remember them 300 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:51,200 saying, I remember Dave Stroop going like, that's a great I can 301 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:51,840 sell. Why Russian? 302 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:53,400 You just made me a fucking load of money. 303 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,480 And then I knew I'd come back because I'd made the money 304 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:56,640 drinking. Right, right. 305 00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:59,680 See, when you're an Irish comic like that, anytime I do a show 306 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:02,800 outside of Ireland, especially in London, they will always come 307 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:05,800 up and say the bars. They're like your audience drank 308 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,040 the bar. Oh yeah. 309 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:09,640 Like like I do Leicester Square Theatre in London, which is a 310 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:12,600 real nice venue and they always like they speak to their 311 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:16,400 supplier when when I book a gig in and they get more booze in 312 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:18,800 'cause the the the Irish crowd just like. 313 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:24,680 This is something I could I could talk about for for an 314 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:29,400 entire weekend of podcasting. I it was how it was how I 315 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:33,040 started getting successful in stand up was that I knew I could 316 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:35,840 sell drinks. Dave Attell, you know, Yeah, 317 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:37,560 yeah. Dave Attell told me one time I I 318 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:41,040 came back from Houston, the last last stop and he goes, how'd you 319 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,000 do? I said good. 320 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,600 And he goes, what were your bar sales? 321 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:47,320 And I said, ha, And he goes, dude, they were they drinking? 322 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:48,840 And he goes, let me tell you something. 323 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:50,640 You can't, I can't tell you that they're going to know what 324 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:53,040 comedy is the the owner. But I can tell you this. 325 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,200 If you have high bar styles, you're coming back. 326 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:59,200 And that fucking stuck on me. I filled a private jet with Dave 327 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:03,880 Attell and I got to explain to him on this private jet how much 328 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:09,040 he imprinted the way I not only ran my business, the way I lived 329 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:12,440 my life and the way I did stand up, the way like my integrity on 330 00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:15,800 comedy and how I believe comedy's like great. 331 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,680 Stand up is the thing you have to do first. 332 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,520 Secondly, you got to look at this as a bit like I, I broke it 333 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:22,040 down. Me, I'm in big J sat on a 334 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:23,240 private jet. Everyone was there. 335 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:24,920 That's all I talked to. There's a picture. 336 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:26,800 I it's one of my favourite pictures, them sitting right 337 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:28,920 across from me. And but yeah. 338 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:32,360 And then so I, I started going into clubs and I would focus on, 339 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:35,440 I would focus on drinking and I'd have them bring a bucket of 340 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:36,840 beers on. I'd take a bucket of beers on 341 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:38,320 stage with me. I'd do shots. 342 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:41,360 The audience wanted to do shots. And I got to the place where I 343 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,440 was doing clubs and I was so proud. 344 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:48,800 I was selling out alcohol like they you couldn't start on. 345 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:52,000 I remember we had a Saturday, Saturday morning show the night 346 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,800 before. Joe Flacco, the quarterback for 347 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:58,120 the Ravens, showed up and we we stayed Friday night until like 4 348 00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:00,040 in the morning at the club. Saturday. 349 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,280 They went to start the show and they couldn't start it because 350 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:06,119 they didn't have alcohol, they didn't have any beer. 351 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:08,520 They ran out of tequila. They were like, we're waiting 352 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:11,800 for our vendor to show up. And so then, OK, so then that 353 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:12,760 was my thing, right? Knock. 354 00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:17,359 That fire down 19 copy. Cathy, let's move. 355 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:21,520 ABC Thursdays. Firefighters, we're family. 356 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:25,440 Station 19 is back for its final and hottest season yet. 357 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:27,480 The subject has explosive chemicals. 358 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:32,480 With fiery romances, you're the love of my life and Andy is 359 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,480 finally in charge. I'm going to be the. 360 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:36,440 Best damn captain the station has ever seen. 361 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:42,240 Station 19 all new Thursdays 10/9 Central on ABC and stream 362 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:46,160 on Hulu. I do a festival called Fully 363 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:50,840 Loaded and if you want to talk about taking to the next level, 364 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:55,200 we drank stadiums. Because there's some baseball. 365 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:58,080 Stadiums, we set record attendance at all our venues, 366 00:17:58,080 --> 00:17:59,480 right? Well, it's, it's a cheat code 367 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:03,440 because for a baseball game, we can't sit people on the infield. 368 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:06,920 So it's like we set record attendance, but it's like, Oh 369 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,800 yeah, well, no one's going to break that record. 370 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:13,720 Boom. We drank them out of beer. 371 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:18,880 We drank them out of beer. The beer coolers were empty and 372 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,240 there were cups on the fucking tabs upside down. 373 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:25,120 We drank them out of fuck. And I remember thinking, that's 374 00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:27,480 fucking crazy. I had a fucking someone pull me 375 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:28,800 aside and go. Do you feel, do you feel like 376 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,480 you have a responsibility to your fans to kind of save their 377 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:34,320 lives, like get them to lose weight? 378 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:37,600 And he's like, no, it was, I forget who it was. 379 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:40,480 He was like, he goes the thing, whoever this was, he was like, 380 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,800 the thing that frustrates me about Rogan is he preaches 381 00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:45,000 smoking weed. He's like, but not everyone's 382 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,200 Joe Rogan. Not everyone can smoke weed, get 383 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:51,680 in a deprivation tank, have a panic attack and find it useful, 384 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:53,400 right? Like that. 385 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,840 Joe loves that. He loves when his brain starts 386 00:18:56,840 --> 00:19:00,400 talking in cartoons and and he's watching them fuck each other 387 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:02,640 and and he loves that. He loves it. 388 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:05,480 And I never speak for Joe. I speak for him on this. 389 00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:09,200 He loves it. I don't like that. 390 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,040 So I weed doesn't work like that for me. 391 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:15,280 But no one, not no one, but not very few people have what I have 392 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:20,640 where I can drink all night and then wake up and work out hard 393 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:24,480 as fuck and get get a lot of shit done. 394 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:27,520 And and so I remember him saying that he was like, he's like, Joe 395 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:28,960 has a responsibility when he talks about weed. 396 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,440 He should have a responsibility. You have a responsibility with 397 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:34,480 alcohol because he was not everyone doesn't cheat on the 398 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:36,680 wife doesn't drink and drive doesn't like they're a little 399 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:41,400 few few key things I throw in my life where I go keep these keep 400 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,960 these sacred and then you can do whatever the fuck you want Yep 401 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,920 Yep, I like. The idea that in 100 years, I'd 402 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:48,200 say the baseball stadiums, there's a statue of you people 403 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:50,320 are like what? It will position that this guy 404 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:52,120 player like reading my fucking brain. 405 00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:53,840 You want to start. You know the difference between 406 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:55,680 me and. Segura is. 407 00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,880 He doesn't care if anyone remembers him right. 408 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:01,120 I care. Well, no. 409 00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:05,640 If you find out that it costs like $80,000 for a bronze 410 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,160 life-size statue and you would you fund it? 411 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,240 Well, hold on. What do you think? 412 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:13,280 I like it. I like it, you know you like it. 413 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:14,600 I like it. You feel a little. 414 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:15,600 Something in it? No. 415 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:15,920 No. Yeah. 416 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:21,160 You feel your ancestry in that? No, I do but. 417 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,640 All of a sudden, my, my, I've got triggered as soon as you 418 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,440 said that because I went back to already drugging me and I was 419 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:31,320 like, oh fuck guys, we just walk on the devil into our house. 420 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:34,840 No, I. If someone has to tell the 421 00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:37,200 audience, like she and Todd slipped this guy a little too 422 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:40,320 much day, we should do what you do to the clubs with it. 423 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,120 We should fuck the Starbucks around the corner. 424 00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:44,880 And you walk on with that and say to everyone, we're getting 425 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:47,320 tea after this. At the interval everyone hits 426 00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:50,080 that Starbucks put them out for the weekend. 427 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,440 If you if you find out it cost $80,000 to get a life-size Braun 428 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:56,040 statue. If you would you fund 1 outside 429 00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:58,680 of baseball stadium that just gets to stay there permanently 430 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,480 outside one bit? Yeah, I'd put them all over the 431 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,120 place. I would put them all. 432 00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:04,880 I would like to put statues in me everywhere. 433 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:06,680 And people go. What the fuck is that anyway? 434 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:15,760 I love I I definitely want like I want a statue of me sugar and 435 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:18,320 I were fucking around about it. I want one at Florida State, 436 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:22,320 like where I went to College of me, like I want to be a good 437 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:23,840 luck statue. Where like do you ever see that 438 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:28,920 statue where the they it's a poet and they fuck his his Dick 439 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:33,840 is he has a hump of a Dick in his leg and it's he he brings 440 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:35,680 fertility to you. So women trying to get pregnant 441 00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:38,240 go there and grind on that Dick and they get pregnant. 442 00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:41,800 I would love that for me, like if you rub my belly you don't 443 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,680 get a DUI and I'm right outside a bar and everyone just rubs my 444 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,080 belly. Can I? 445 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,680 You know that we're in Three Arena right now. 446 00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:51,920 Can I tell you like a Horror Story from a gig I did here? 447 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:57,680 This is so bad. Like late last year Kevin Hart 448 00:21:57,680 --> 00:21:59,360 played here. Oh fuck, he came. 449 00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:02,160 To do a. Movie in Belfast, three months 450 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:05,440 he lived in Belfast and he's getting ready for his tour, so 451 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,520 he wanted to do like little work in progress shows. 452 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:10,040 Within 24 shows I opened for him. 453 00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:12,240 Then we did. He did 24 shows here. 454 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:15,240 Yeah, in, in. Belfast in like 100 cup. 455 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:21,720 Oh, OK, OK, you just put my. Career in such perspective, I go 456 00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:24,800 he did 24 shows here. I have a hard time selling one 457 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:26,840 out and he's did 24. Yeah, but you're getting the 458 00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:27,840 statue. Yeah. 459 00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:31,560 So, well, his statue's a little. I would love statues and all 460 00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:34,600 around they had. They just put them inside roller 461 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:35,920 coasters. You have to be this tall. 462 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:41,280 I love Kevin so. We do the do like these 24 463 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:45,520 intimate shows in Belfast and then we finish with the rates. 464 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:49,280 We do 3 arena here and the in like my local arena in Belfast, 465 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,080 the SSE. So we come here and I've never 466 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:53,800 played to like this many people before. 467 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:58,440 My biggest was maybe 3-4 thousand at this point and he's 468 00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:02,920 coming here parked house and the whole the 24 shows have been 469 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:06,680 like great, like so good. I do 20 minutes before him and 470 00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:10,080 it's usually a 20 minute set, but I usually get a queue of 471 00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:12,480 like Kevin's ready to go on, sometimes 20 minutes. 472 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,120 Sometimes I've got to fill an extra 510, whatever. 473 00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,600 And they flash me to be like he's ready to go on and I'd be 474 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,440 like you can fucking wait. I never, I never said that. 475 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,000 I was always like no problem, I can go on. 476 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:27,760 So I'm doing the arena here. It's great set, it's great time. 477 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:30,160 I've got the adrenaline. I've had three T's right. 478 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:35,600 So I'm like a little bit out of it and then I finish on my last 479 00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:38,440 joke and I look at the side and there's no one telling me like 480 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:41,480 more time. So I go, ladies and gentlemen, 481 00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:43,200 you ready for the man you're here to see? 482 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:45,080 And I've never heard that many people go. 483 00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:50,040 I said please welcome. The stage, the one the only 484 00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:51,840 Kevin Hart. Now. 485 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,840 Sometimes when I introduce him at the small shows, he'd walk on 486 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,440 and we'd do like a little handshake or sometimes he'd wait 487 00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:58,840 for me to walk off and then he'd come on. 488 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:03,120 So I like get and the place pops and I'm like, oh, tonight he's 489 00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:04,920 waiting for me. It's the arena, so he wants to 490 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:08,040 come on by himself. I walk off, his music hits big 491 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,760 Kendrick Lamar track. All the visuals start when I 492 00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:14,200 walk off side stage. He's not in the vicinity, like 493 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:17,560 he's not in the backstage area. The crowd are going nuts. 494 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:21,640 I stand there, but 20 people crew or no one's saying 495 00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:24,880 anything, just looking at me. I'm like, fuck, do you want me 496 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,480 to go back on to the promoter and make you want me to go back 497 00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:29,160 on? He's like, I want you to do 498 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,000 nothing. We stand there. 499 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,240 Someone's a way to get him. The the pop has slightly come 500 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,800 down the track, right? Which is really supposed to be 501 00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:40,720 like 10 seconds is winding down. You know, like like the tracks 502 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:42,640 like it's kind of like getting an instrumental part of it. 503 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:44,160 The crowd are like, what's happening here? 504 00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:47,040 I was like gone. I'm like, I'm not going to 505 00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:48,760 because the next night we're supposed to do Belfast. 506 00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:49,960 I'm like, they're going to cut me from that. 507 00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:51,360 Yeah, we're with the same agency. 508 00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:53,240 I was like, they're going to drop me and I understand. 509 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:56,280 I was like, I accepted. OK, keep going, but I'll tell 510 00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,720 you the answer is no to that. But keep going, I'd accepted. 511 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:00,000 All of it. I was like, I'm done, you know 512 00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:01,520 what I mean? Like I'm done. 513 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,040 Maybe I can start a tea business or something. 514 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,320 Yeah. Then like what feels like an 515 00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:08,960 hour later, but it's like 2 minutes, he arrives and the 516 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,640 promoter goes go back on. I walk out. 517 00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:14,520 Ladies, gentlemen, welcome to H Kevin Hart crowd pops again. 518 00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:17,400 He goes on. He addresses it at the start and 519 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,320 it's never mentioned again. But that whole set that he when 520 00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:24,360 he's on, I can't enjoy it because I'm like, I have fucked 521 00:25:24,360 --> 00:25:26,720 his career. No, no, no. 522 00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:30,640 I thought I'm like he's he's going to like beat me up, but I 523 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:34,560 don't have to let him. I'm like I'm done, like I'm 524 00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:37,160 totally dumb and it was just never mentioned. 525 00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:41,080 Yeah, but I thought honestly, like it was the worst, like it 526 00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:43,280 should have been the best night, but I just could. 527 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:44,920 I was like I fucked. It didn't did. 528 00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:48,480 Rosebud do that for me. I was going to ask. 529 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:49,280 It what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 530 00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,560 It's. But that I don't. 531 00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:56,360 Here's the beauty of our job here is the absolute beauty is 532 00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:58,720 that in order to be Kevin Hart, he had to be you. 533 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:00,640 Yeah. Right. 534 00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:06,440 And in order for me to be Kevin Hart, I got to be me right now. 535 00:26:07,120 --> 00:26:10,160 So like and I had to work the door and Kevin had to work the 536 00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:14,040 door and we all had to work the. So like we all understand the 537 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:19,600 massive fuck ups we do. So only cunts, real cunts, real 538 00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:21,000 cunts. And it's the kids that get 539 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:25,800 gifted a career at like. At like 20. 540 00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:29,040 Three and they they get discovered by something and then 541 00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:32,080 they get plugged into something and then they do a special and 542 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:35,600 and they don't really and I I mean earn it and I, I think 543 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,600 people maybe I won't understand this, but comics understand it. 544 00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:41,040 Sometimes people are like kind of giving a career and then they 545 00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:43,880 treat everyone like assholes and and the whole industry goes 546 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:45,920 against the the comics are like fuck that guy. 547 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:47,760 And then when they get cancelled, everyone's like 548 00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:49,160 couldn't have him do a nicer guy. 549 00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:53,120 And so but that's the beauty is that Kevin had to be you to be 550 00:26:53,120 --> 00:26:55,880 Kevin today. And and trust me, Kevin is AI 551 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:59,120 mean. He's a he's a mogul, he's 552 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:04,280 fucking next level. He's an inspiration, but he was 553 00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:06,400 also a fuck up comic too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 554 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:10,680 He's Rosebud Baker did that to me and you just he introduced. 555 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:12,280 You and you just weren't there. She. 556 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,600 She. Was she was? 557 00:27:15,360 --> 00:27:19,120 I can't remember what it was, but she, she, she fucked up. 558 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:22,400 And then she was stewing in the back thinking I'm getting fired. 559 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:24,280 And I came back and I was like, I would never fire you. 560 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:25,720 Do you have any idea how many times I did that? 561 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:27,320 Yeah, yeah, how many times I would go. 562 00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:30,840 I remember I brought Janine Garofalo on stage one time and I 563 00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:34,360 said. I got it was a. 564 00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:37,040 Line up and I got a lit. I got a thing and I said Janine 565 00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:41,480 Garofalo and oh, oh. This isn't a pirate. 566 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:46,040 Ship we have a woman and she need garofalos in the back like 567 00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:49,400 huh? And I go move some Dicks over. 568 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:52,280 Ladies and gentlemen, she And she wouldn't shake my hand. 569 00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,160 She wouldn't shake my hand. Not like being a Dick. 570 00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:55,720 I think she was trying to do a bit out of it. 571 00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,920 Yeah, yeah, yeah, You know. And then I've met her since you 572 00:27:58,920 --> 00:27:59,880 don't know that till the end of her. 573 00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:00,960 Set. You don't know that until the 574 00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:01,880 end. State you're like, I fucking 575 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:03,280 ruined it. And then you have cunts, like 576 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:05,160 real cunts. I remember there was a guy, I 577 00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:08,640 think his name is Alan Havey. He was so, so mean to me. 578 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,680 I, I, I don't know if that is who it is. 579 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:12,480 I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure. 580 00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:16,840 Yeah. He's not going to listen to 581 00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:21,000 this. I'm almost certain he mocked 582 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,680 podcasts with like he was. I remember asking him. 583 00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:25,440 I remember asking him, I was a young comic. 584 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:28,040 And This is why I think it's so important when, if you have any 585 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,560 little success, to lose your ego 100% when you're in a comedy 586 00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:34,640 club and be everyone's the same. Because I said, hey, man, what 587 00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:37,080 do you want me to say about you? And he goes, are we being 588 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:38,920 serious right now? And I said, yeah. 589 00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:41,440 And he goes, Emmy award-winning writer. 590 00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:43,920 How's that work for you? And I went cool. 591 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:47,480 And I just was like, Emmy award-winning, right? 592 00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:49,320 And like, I don't fucking know who you are. 593 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,080 Before we had phones that you could Google shit. 594 00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:54,000 Yeah. And so that's happened. 595 00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:55,800 That shit's happened to me. See that? 596 00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:57,280 Like backstage? Environment where like 597 00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,840 everyone's equal. I did the Comedy Cellar in 598 00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:04,800 Vegas, yeah. Can I, can I, can I tell you 599 00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:05,480 something? Absolutely. 600 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:08,760 So one of the one of my highlights of my career and, and 601 00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:12,560 we all, we all have weird highlights, things that make us 602 00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:16,280 excited for our success. I was in Vegas with my family 603 00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:20,240 and I got a call from Estie who books the Comedy Cellar in New 604 00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:21,520 York. I started in New York. 605 00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:28,400 I got passed at the Cellar in like 2000, maybe 2001, beginning 606 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:32,600 of 2001 by Manny. I think Manny, her brother. 607 00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:36,200 My could be off on all this. Manny since passed, but I got 608 00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:39,840 passed by Manny when I did stand up there. 609 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:43,080 But I never worked there because I lived in LA and I was like, 610 00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:44,680 fuck, if I had done this. I told Manny. 611 00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:46,520 I said if you would pass me six months earlier, I would be 612 00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:48,560 living in LA right now. I would be living in New York. 613 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:52,840 I would be a New York comic. But Este was like always like it 614 00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:56,680 was like she was like almost like like Miss Mitzi, like like 615 00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:58,760 a fucking. She changed her career. 616 00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:01,680 I was on vacation with with my family in Hawaii. 617 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:06,760 I got a call from SD and she said, Hey, Bert, I would love 618 00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:09,920 just a voicemail. I would love to get you to work 619 00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:11,600 at our club. You know, whatever. 620 00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:16,240 We have a club in Vegas and and Bobby Kelly tells me we got to 621 00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:18,520 get you in there and I and you know, you're so fun. 622 00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:21,800 I was like, I was like, it was like the I don't remember being 623 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:26,000 on vacation with my family in, in, in Hawaii being like to my 624 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:27,280 wife. Este just called me. 625 00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:29,000 Yeah, she's a legend. She's a legend. 626 00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:30,240 She's a legend. I don't. 627 00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:31,280 I wonder if she knows how much people. 628 00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:32,760 I'm so sorry. Tell me your Comedy Central 629 00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:34,400 story or No, no, no. Tell me about that first. 630 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:35,960 No, that's that's just. You went over. 631 00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:38,840 I was like I was. Like fucking yes, I was so 632 00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:43,240 pumped and but those little there's little things like 633 00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:47,440 getting past at the at the store so funny. 634 00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:51,320 It's the thing. Like, you know, when people go, 635 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:53,200 yeah, he remembered my name or something like that, Yeah. 636 00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:54,800 And those things really do matter. 637 00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:57,080 I'm so bad with names. I really, honestly, when someone 638 00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:01,160 introduces themselves to me, I just hear the Chicago Bill Bulls 639 00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:03,440 entrance music, 'cause I'm about to say my name. 640 00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:06,760 They're like, hi, my name is Don Don, Don, Don, Don Don, Don, 641 00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:10,920 Don, Don, Don Don. Ladies and gentlemen, put your 642 00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:14,040 hands together for Bert. And then I go Bert. 643 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:20,760 So but when I got passed to the seller at the store, I was first 644 00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:24,160 of all, I was like, I hope that if you're a comic, you hear this 645 00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,480 and you and this means something to you because it's it should. 646 00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:30,320 I always feel like I I always feel like, by the way, talk 647 00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:32,320 about fucking ego, not being able to check it. 648 00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:34,680 I always feel like an inspirational comic story 649 00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:39,120 because I didn't really get successful until I was like 44. 650 00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:41,400 Shut up with. 10 years. I got to wait 10 years. 651 00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:44,600 Well, no. The the beauty is the beauty is 652 00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:47,800 if you're 43 and you haven't hit, you can still go. 653 00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:51,600 Well, Bert, I got one year left. I got one year left like I was a 654 00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:55,200 late bloomer And and if I had success, Ari would call bullshit 655 00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:56,520 on what I just said because I had success. 656 00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:58,640 Like I did television. I did. 657 00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:00,920 I did some stuff. I did an hour special for Comedy 658 00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:02,680 Central in 2009. Didn't really pop. 659 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:05,840 And I had some success here and there, but I wasn't like 660 00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:11,080 successful. I wasn't like I wasn't, I was, I 661 00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:13,600 was just, you know, struggling and I wasn't passed to the 662 00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:16,880 store. I was probably 4344 and I wasn't 663 00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:20,680 passed to the store and. I. 664 00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:24,040 Was maybe I was selling some tickets, but not a lot on the 665 00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:26,440 road and definitely not a lot on the road. 666 00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:31,320 My guarantee was like 6000 and with maybe $500 bonuses, no 667 00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:36,280 percentage deal. And, and I got passed to the 668 00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:37,960 store. They called me and said you, we 669 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,000 want to make you a paid regular in order to do that you got and 670 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,800 I was so nervous. You got to come, you know, come 671 00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:43,800 down and do your first paid regular spot calling your veils. 672 00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:45,760 So I called him my veils, got my first paid regular spot. 673 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:48,200 I was so fucking excited. I was like, do I take my shirt 674 00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:49,800 off? Like I feel bad taking my shirt 675 00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:50,920 off. I know I would do that normally, 676 00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:53,800 but in this environment, should I leave it like whatever. 677 00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:55,920 And then they were like, I get there and they're like, oh, it's 678 00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:56,960 just a vest. What? 679 00:32:57,360 --> 00:32:58,960 Oh, just a vest would. Be fucking nice. 680 00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:04,000 It's so a halfway horse. So I go, I get there and Adam, 681 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,680 you get who I absolutely adore and never hear about. 682 00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:08,240 Word come out of my mouth about Adam. 683 00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,560 He's like, he's like, hell, I hate to do this. 684 00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:15,600 I know we got you at 10:30. Judd just showed up. 685 00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:18,400 Judd Apatow. So Judd's going to just go in 686 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:23,160 front of you and then and then we're going to you go up after 687 00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,480 Judd. And I was like, OK, so then he 688 00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:27,440 I'm sitting there and I'm waiting for Judd and I'll see 689 00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:29,240 Judd and he goes, OK, I'm so sorry. 690 00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:32,720 So. Louis just came. 691 00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:36,440 Up Louis is going to bump Judd, so it's going to go Louis, Judd, 692 00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:38,840 then you. I was like OK, and then he comes 693 00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:42,800 up and he goes oh this is bad. Daniel Toss just showed up so 694 00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:45,120 it's going to go Louis, Daniel Toss, Judd, then you. 695 00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:49,720 And so now my 10:30 spot is now at 12:00 spot it's like 1130 is 696 00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:52,040 when I'm going to go on. Louis comes up. 697 00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:54,080 This is the sweetest guy in the world. 698 00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:55,960 He really is. I fucking absolutely adore 699 00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:58,160 Louis. And he doesn't. 700 00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:02,360 He just says, you know how you doing, it's good to see you goes 701 00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:06,600 up, does a spot toss comes up and he's like, he's like I 702 00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:09,760 bumped you and I'm like, I know, and he's like starts giggling to 703 00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:13,239 himself and he goes what time you thinking up tonight and but 704 00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:14,800 doesn't no one knows. It's my first. 705 00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:17,080 They think I'm a paid regular. Everyone thinks because I'm they 706 00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:19,280 think they know me. They think I'm a paid regular. 707 00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:22,000 Judd comes up. Judd introduces me, doesn't ask 708 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,760 for my introduction. Judd introduces me and he he 709 00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:27,920 gives me a solid introduction. Ladies and gentlemen, this next 710 00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:29,800 guy is fucking hilarious. You may see him. 711 00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:31,960 He's he has, he's done a couple specials. 712 00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:33,760 He had a Travel Channel show called birth Conquer. 713 00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:36,600 And I'm like, he knows my intro gives my intro. 714 00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:39,679 I go up, I do OK, I, I didn't do great. 715 00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:43,880 I did OK. I get off stage and I have this 716 00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:47,520 like moment where I get to breathe and I go, I did it like 717 00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,320 I'm, I'm a paid regular. I did my first spot. 718 00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:53,960 Tony Hinchcliffe comes up and goes, hey, congratulations man, 719 00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:56,280 because I know this is your first spot as a paid regular. 720 00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:59,440 Let's go do a shot. And I was like, I was like, did 721 00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:03,000 any like who told him? And so we went out and we took a 722 00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:04,440 shot and he goes, this is a big deal. 723 00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:08,520 By the way, Tony's 1512 years younger than me, not like my 724 00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:11,920 peer, but not like my age peer. And it was. 725 00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:15,880 It meant so much to me to have that moment with Tony and and 726 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:17,840 Tony and our friends. But we don't hang out all the 727 00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:19,400 time. Like we see each other, talk 728 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,760 bullshit, friendly text, whatever. 729 00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:25,680 Always podcast and fun guy Love him, but it was just it was it 730 00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:28,520 was this little thing that he almost some he, I mean, 731 00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:32,360 practically cemented himself in my heart forever because of that 732 00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:34,280 little moment. And I was like, I don't want to 733 00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:35,840 do more shit like that for people. 734 00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:39,680 But those places it's like those little achievements are this big 735 00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:41,120 thing in your career where people go. 736 00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:43,200 But what about when you sold dot dot dot? 737 00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:45,240 What about when you did that? You're like, Oh no, it was that 738 00:35:45,240 --> 00:35:48,880 time Mattel called me. And he goes, hey, I like that 739 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:50,120 fucking deaf kid joke. Yeah. 740 00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:52,640 And you're like, what? But those like those little that 741 00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:56,920 like the so I was on honeymoon in Vegas stupidly asked to do 742 00:35:57,040 --> 00:36:00,960 this is years ago yeah sent an e-mail to Este just got her 743 00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:03,640 contact from someone I'm a honeymoon here from Ireland 744 00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:06,960 comic Could I do like 5 minutes. She said, yeah, I shouldn't have 745 00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:09,480 done it because I was totally in, like, vacation mode. 746 00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:12,280 Like, yeah, wasn't ready to work. 747 00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:14,640 She was there. She's there. 748 00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:19,760 So I do it in the green room. Nobody, like, I walk in and I'm 749 00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:22,400 not like trying to chat. I'm just like, say hello, 750 00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:23,520 introduce myself. Yeah. 751 00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:26,320 Nobody's really interested. It's actually a lot of like, 752 00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:27,960 British comics that live in America, right? 753 00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:31,320 So no one's really like, also, I'm wearing shorts. 754 00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:34,480 I shouldn't have been like, and they were like, too short like, 755 00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:36,280 you know, I mean, like, not like, ridiculous. 756 00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:37,400 No, no, they're like Conor McGregor. 757 00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:38,640 'S short. They're not like they're not. 758 00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:41,280 Like I'm also to work. These are like this guy's having 759 00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:44,200 fun, so I don't think they even know I'm on. 760 00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:47,480 And I'm not like on a comic, so I'm just awkwardly in the green 761 00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:48,960 room. I'm not. 762 00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:54,080 I have a terrible set. I go up to ask they they haven't 763 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,800 already shown Late Show and I'm basically going to go look. 764 00:36:56,920 --> 00:36:59,200 That was not a representation of like how good I am. 765 00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:01,440 Could I also do an open spot at the Late Show? 766 00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:03,600 I went up to her and said hi, I'm sorry. 767 00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:08,400 She went. No, like I I had such a bad gig 768 00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:12,280 and no comedian shouted to me after apart from one person who 769 00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:16,800 really made a huge effort and it was Tony Woods and he came up 770 00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:18,800 the greatest. At night. 771 00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:21,920 He didn't obviously did not know who I was at all just saw like 772 00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:25,800 this guy struggling in shorts and came up to me and like he 773 00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,840 was like everyone he's like don't worry about that you know 774 00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:32,320 what, where you from and that kind of thing and just took like 775 00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:36,600 5 minutes to chat to me and that like that meant loads to me. 776 00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:39,600 Oh, it means the world. It means the fucking world when 777 00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:41,320 those things happen. I did the. 778 00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:46,040 I did like my first tour last year of the States, small tour, 779 00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:47,120 but like first time I've done it. 780 00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:50,320 And then I did the belly room in the store. 781 00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:51,840 Yeah. And like, there wasn't that many 782 00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:54,040 people there. It was like a Thursday night. 783 00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:57,520 It was one of the best moments of my career, just just being in 784 00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:58,560 the room. I'll tell you a good. 785 00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:02,560 Story So I do by the way, I'll I do get a buzz off tea. 786 00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:04,120 Yeah, this is pretty fucking off. 787 00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:08,000 It's a little bit cool. Like you know what, I might 788 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:14,120 start drinking. Spots of tea So so he so I get I 789 00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:17,360 get this is a OK, this is a shitty story. 790 00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:20,520 I've told it before, but like, I hope that it comes out as good 791 00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:28,040 as it is meant to come out. So in. 2000 I'm trying to guess. 792 00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:32,520 Probably 2012 maybe. I'm guessing we'd all started 793 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:35,120 podcasting. We we'd all been podcasting. 794 00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:38,920 I told the Machine story on Rogan and it was gaining 795 00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:42,080 traction and I might I felt the energy of my stand up and 796 00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:44,840 podcasting taking over my hosting. 797 00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:48,280 But I got this hosting gig in Amsterdam for Showtime. 798 00:38:48,720 --> 00:38:51,160 I was going to host this big. I think I hosted. 799 00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:56,040 I hosted a big like fucking comedy thing for all bunch of 800 00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,960 comics and I was the, I was the host kind of. 801 00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:02,200 I also did stand up right. So we get done and I. 802 00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:04,160 And I'm FIL, they're filming a documentary on me. 803 00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:07,400 This these guys that we did a Kickstarter and I said, hey, 804 00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:10,240 let's, let's, we're going to fly out of fear of flying. 805 00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:14,000 So I go, let's take the train into London from Amsterdam. 806 00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:16,040 Let's do, let's hang out in London for a couple days. 807 00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:18,880 Then we'll fly from London to LA and then like we should get you 808 00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:20,720 into the Comedy Store. You can do stand there and go. 809 00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:22,680 I fucking love that. It's fucking legendary. 810 00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:27,720 So my management calls over and they get me like a 7 minute spot 811 00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:31,040 and. I'm like great. 812 00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:32,360 So I. Show up at the Comedy Store with 813 00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:34,840 the film crew, which is is a great an aggressive move, but 814 00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:36,520 they'd clean. They'd cleared it with that 815 00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:37,600 someone. Yeah, yeah. 816 00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:41,520 And I was like. Hey, I'm here for the comedy 817 00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:42,800 show and they're like the lines over there. 818 00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:46,680 And I was like, no, no, no, I'm I'm a comedian. 819 00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:49,720 And the guy goes Nope. I think it was a black. 820 00:39:49,720 --> 00:39:50,880 Dude, he was like, no, you're not. 821 00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:53,880 And I was like, no, I am, I'm I'm A and he goes, no, no, I 822 00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:55,960 understand. They must get hundreds of 823 00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:59,240 thousands of Americans saying I do comedy in the states that 824 00:39:59,240 --> 00:40:01,760 don't do comedy in the states. It used to be a big trope is 825 00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:04,560 that if you couldn't do stand up in New York, you just moved to 826 00:40:04,720 --> 00:40:08,200 England or I or, or Australian do stand up there. 827 00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:11,120 And so I don't know. Actually, I'm on the thing And 828 00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:12,880 he goes looks and he says I don't see your name. 829 00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:16,120 And I was like, I, I, I know, but maybe is there a guy named 830 00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:17,960 Dot Dot And they're like, you don't know. 831 00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:19,840 OK, can I talk, maybe talk to someone else? 832 00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:21,320 There's a big black guy, can I talk to someone else? 833 00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:22,560 And he goes, you're talking to him. 834 00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:26,080 And I said, well, I know, but I, I know that I talked to someone, 835 00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:27,280 you know that I didn't talk to someone. 836 00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:28,560 I know there's someone inside that knows. 837 00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:30,960 I talked to them. My management set this all up. 838 00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:33,160 I'm supposed to do 7 minutes and we're OK to just filming. 839 00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:35,600 Here he goes, no filming and you can go away. 840 00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:37,600 And I'm like, Oh my God. So if I go. 841 00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:40,720 So I just get in line, I go up to the front thing and the guy's 842 00:40:40,720 --> 00:40:43,000 like looking at me like think I'll buy a ticket and I go, I'm 843 00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:44,000 supposed to do comedy. Here he goes. 844 00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,880 I told you and they're like, and the people behind the counter 845 00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:49,320 are like, no. And I was like, I go in my head, 846 00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:51,720 I'm like, this isn't how it works in LA and LA. 847 00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:53,360 You just walk in and go, I'm a comic. 848 00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:54,960 And they go, OK, go in. Yeah, yeah. 849 00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:59,360 Finally the DJ comes out. Guy in the DJ booth and. 850 00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:00,960 He goes, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 851 00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:04,920 Forgot to put him in. He's he's doing a spot tonight 852 00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:07,440 and no apology. No, no. 853 00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:09,240 Oh, welcome to the club. Like, fine. 854 00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:11,960 Don't get in anyone's way like that. 855 00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:14,920 And I'm like, OK, so like I'm already starting on a bad foot. 856 00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:19,320 I sit in the back, I'm watching the show. 857 00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:22,720 I go back to the green room and the comics act. 858 00:41:22,720 --> 00:41:27,480 There are absolute cunts, absolute cunts. 859 00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:30,080 Like, and they're not talking to me. 860 00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:33,400 No one's talking to me. The The only guy that's kind of 861 00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:37,160 nice to me is a guy named. Boy with a tape. 862 00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:39,360 On his face, he's the only guy being nice, but he doesn't 863 00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:40,840 fucking speak. He's don't even know what he 864 00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:44,280 says. I've never seen him before but 865 00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:45,880 they're but. They're being like bullies. 866 00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:48,440 They're they're like, they're like from the States. 867 00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:49,440 Are you? I'm bad. 868 00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:50,560 I'm bad at accents. And I'm like, yeah. 869 00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:53,040 And they're like, keep it tight, keep it tight. 870 00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:55,880 You ever want to work here? Best club in the goddamn world. 871 00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:59,080 You keep it tight. And I'm like, I have no fuck. 872 00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:01,480 I wish I knew. I I have footage of these guys 873 00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:03,600 doing this. And so I'll release it. 874 00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:05,840 I'll know them. Oh, you'll definitely know them. 875 00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:07,160 They're they're big. They're comics. 876 00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:10,320 They're fucking comics. I know what who they are 877 00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,600 probably in in New York. I know what type of comic they 878 00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:15,760 are. Now you know I'm. 879 00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:18,640 Also a comic, so I go. He goes, don't run the light, 880 00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:20,600 don't run the light. And I go, what's the light? 881 00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:23,880 And he goes, Oh my God, I'm go, I'm go, I'm joking, I'm joking. 882 00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:28,320 I, I go, I go. You guys, do you guys like, they 883 00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:29,880 like racial jokes because they don't live here, right? 884 00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:32,840 And these like, and these guys are not getting comedy. 885 00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:36,120 They're not getting me joking. I can't break the seal. 886 00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:38,960 I can't get someone to go. Who do you know? 887 00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:40,920 Do you know? And like they're saying people 888 00:42:41,240 --> 00:42:44,240 like, do I know this person? And I'm like, yeah, we all know 889 00:42:44,240 --> 00:42:48,120 that person, Yeah. So boy with tape in his face 890 00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:51,240 goes up. And fucking murders, yeah, he 891 00:42:51,240 --> 00:42:54,360 murders so fucking hard. He's the only one in that room 892 00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:59,040 that I that I remember because of his fucking act, and I'm 893 00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:01,400 sitting in the back of watching boy tape on his face and I'm 894 00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:04,040 going I can't follow that. Like I don't actually, I really 895 00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:06,480 am going to bomb all this light hearted joking. 896 00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:07,960 They're going to watch me eat a Dick. 897 00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:10,600 This guy's so good. And luckily they take an 898 00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:13,360 intermission like a little. You guys don't do intermissions. 899 00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:14,800 No, no, we're doing. One tonight. 900 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,360 We never do them. And I'm like, oh, thank God, 901 00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:19,520 reset the room. The dude who's the biggest prick 902 00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:24,120 goes out and he's my host and he does his time. 903 00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:26,120 He does a little extra. It was interesting because he 904 00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:30,200 told me not to run the light and then he gives me a disguise from 905 00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:32,160 the states. We'll see what we get or 906 00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:37,080 something like real shitty intro fucks my name up and I go out 907 00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:41,640 and I fucking light. That room is hot. 908 00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:43,920 That room is hot. And I've been doing stand up at 909 00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:46,960 that time for fucking probably 1520 years. 910 00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:49,160 So I know what I definitely know what I'm doing with stand up and 911 00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:52,200 I'm doing it so much. And I just filmed the set in in 912 00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:55,280 in fucking Amsterdam. I light the room upon fire and 913 00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:58,200 in it I get the light at like 7 minutes. 914 00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:01,760 They give me the light and I've already know my time and they 915 00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:05,080 give me the light. I wrap up at 7:15 7/30. 916 00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:08,680 I go to get off. I go to get off stage. 917 00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:10,680 The host comes out and he's like wow. 918 00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:14,720 Like I go to the green. Room and. 919 00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:18,440 The dudes who were being jerks and people, One guy goes, I, I 920 00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:22,480 guess you've done this before. I say, yeah, some professional 921 00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:24,200 fucking comedian. And they're like, that was 922 00:44:24,720 --> 00:44:26,320 crazy. Like, that was hilarious. 923 00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:27,560 Yeah. I was like, thanks. 924 00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:29,840 And like, where, where, where, where are you from? 925 00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:32,200 And I was like, oh, wow, Now you guys gonna be there. 926 00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:33,080 Your friend, though. Yeah. 927 00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:34,320 Well, but they were cool. I ended. 928 00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:35,360 Up having a beer with. Them, yeah. 929 00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:38,280 And talking to them and then and then you realise, I don't think 930 00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:40,160 I don't think I would be like that, But I'm in a different 931 00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:41,720 place in my career than those guys were. 932 00:44:41,720 --> 00:44:43,680 You know, when you're when you're struggling and you see 933 00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:46,400 come with someone taking some of the time that you have allotted 934 00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:49,680 for yourself, you get a little you get a little territorial. 935 00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:53,000 I know that happens in New York and probably happens in LA, but 936 00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:54,880 but that that that's like the Tony Woods thing. 937 00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:56,000 Boy, the. Tape in his face. 938 00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:57,440 You killed was the one who made the effort with you. 939 00:44:57,720 --> 00:44:59,520 Tony Woods was the one who killed at that. 940 00:44:59,720 --> 00:45:01,120 And he came up to me. Yeah. 941 00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:03,120 Tony Woods is Tony Woods is a. Legend. 942 00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:05,200 He's like Dave Chappelle's mentor, isn't He's my mentor. 943 00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:07,880 He might want to started. I have AI have a tonne of Tony 944 00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:09,960 Wood stories, but when I started, Chappelle was out in 945 00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:13,040 LA, Tony was still back in, in the clubs in New York and he 946 00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:15,280 kind of took me under, under his wing, used to call me Sugar 947 00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:17,920 Bear. And, and he, we taught me 948 00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:20,040 everything. He would interrupt my sets and 949 00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:23,960 fuck with my sets. And then he, he, I mean him and 950 00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:26,880 Patrice were two people that were like Patrice. 951 00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:29,880 One time I, I, we were getting ready to do a a set and I had a 952 00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:32,240 set list, like a little set list of my thing. 953 00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:35,240 And Patrice comes over, we're getting ready for this huge 954 00:45:35,240 --> 00:45:38,920 fucking audition. And Patrice goes and looks at 955 00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:41,640 his list and he goes, are these new jokes? 956 00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:44,800 And I said no. And he goes, oh, and he ripped 957 00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:47,320 it in half and he goes, you're not that comic. 958 00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:50,360 I said when he goes, you're not a list comic. 959 00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:52,720 He goes, you either know it or you don't know it. 960 00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:54,400 And if you don't know it, you're fucked. 961 00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:59,080 And I was like, wow, yeah, Tony Woods is the fucking. 962 00:45:59,240 --> 00:46:02,280 He's the greatest. He's the greatest. 963 00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:03,960 I love him. I adore him. 964 00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:07,120 I think I'm I've, I've taken so much of my style, I think you'd 965 00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:08,360 recognise it. But you know, when you're a 966 00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:11,760 comic, you borrow from people's styles to figure out how to get 967 00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:17,440 Yeah, AB And for me, Tony Woods. Tony Woods and a tell where my 968 00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:21,760 2, like my 2 lighthouses, my 2 channel markers that I would 969 00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:25,000 like as I wrote jokes, I'd be like, how would it tell do it? 970 00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:26,400 How would Tony do it? How would it tell do it? 971 00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:30,080 How would Tony do it? Yeah, fucking love Tony. 972 00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:32,120 I love Tony. Let me ask you this. 973 00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:35,040 You've a day off in Dublin tomorrow. 974 00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:38,960 We were thinking, oh, wonder you're in Belfast on the tour 975 00:46:39,240 --> 00:46:42,480 and we were going to give you a Belfast Day of Foam, a bespoke 976 00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:46,400 Belfast Day of Foam with activities say like next time 977 00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:49,560 you turn Europe, you do Belfast. Yeah, here's what I was 978 00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:50,680 thinking. I just want to want to buy. 979 00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:54,120 You just just want big plans. I just saw a movie like Pipe. 980 00:46:54,120 --> 00:46:57,560 Bomb, we want you. Like that car bombing? 981 00:46:57,560 --> 00:46:58,600 Car bombing. I want to do that. 982 00:46:58,720 --> 00:47:00,240 Things to do in Belfast we can say. 983 00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:01,640 About. Hate crime. 984 00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:03,800 Something fun you know you want to get into. 985 00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:05,160 A little bit of scaring kids out. 986 00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:07,640 Of our neighbourhoods, yeah. Fuck yeah, I want to do it. 987 00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:11,040 No, I the fucked up thing is we could set that up like that 988 00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:13,320 could. Be such a such a gold mine for 989 00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:16,120 American terrorists coming. Oh, it's, it's like all we knew 990 00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:19,200 about Belfast. And I never understood, I never 991 00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:22,480 understood like, like the Protestant Catholic things. 992 00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:25,160 I, I, I still don't. I'm like, I'm like, aren't we? 993 00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:26,800 There's anything? It's just one of those things 994 00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:29,960 like it's like. OK, like it's, it's, you know, 995 00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:32,360 it's just our thing. My grandmother wouldn't. 996 00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:33,840 Wouldn't. Go to my wedding. 997 00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:37,920 This is crazy because land my wife's Baptist, she goes no, 998 00:47:38,560 --> 00:47:42,600 he's marrying a Baptist. The barefoot fucking illiterate. 999 00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:44,480 No, I'm not. Oh my God. 1000 00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:46,080 Why would we let him marry a Baptist? 1001 00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:51,280 She originally from Belfast. No, she's she was first 1002 00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:56,760 generation American from her family's Irish. 1003 00:47:57,480 --> 00:48:02,840 My dad's dad is German. My mom's family is 100. 1004 00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:05,200 Like top to bottom Irish. They were the first Irish. 1005 00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:12,520 So Irish, it's funny because it's it's when, when we do this 1006 00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:15,920 about our heredity, it sounds like when Elizabeth Warren goes, 1007 00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:18,280 I'm part Native American because there's, we have no real 1008 00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:20,200 connection with it. There's just snobbery towards 1009 00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:22,640 that with Irish. People we're like an American 1010 00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:24,760 person tells you what their ancestry actually. 1011 00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:27,960 Oh, fuck that. Like, yeah, like, yeah, it's 1012 00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:30,200 totally like, I, I like it. You know, if people are like 1013 00:48:30,280 --> 00:48:32,920 American people love Ireland, like and, and there is obviously 1014 00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:36,000 so much ancestry there. You you one thing we were going 1015 00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:38,640 to do what we will do next when you come to Belfast, You know, I 1016 00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:40,760 was going to, I was going to get us a DeLorean. 1017 00:48:41,360 --> 00:48:42,320 A DeLorean? Yeah. 1018 00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,640 Why are those still? Around I know OK they were built 1019 00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:48,280 in belf the. DeLorean factory was it was. 1020 00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:49,720 I watched that document in Northern. 1021 00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:51,920 I'm not good at retaining. Information. 1022 00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:54,840 OK, I'm good at remembering half of it, right? 1023 00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:58,000 But like I but like, yeah, DeLorean got fucked on coke 1024 00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:01,120 charges, right? Yeah, I don't know, but. 1025 00:49:01,520 --> 00:49:02,960 There was it was in Back to the Future. 1026 00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:04,080 Yeah. And they have the fold up 1027 00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:06,120 things. So we and you, me and you should 1028 00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:07,560 write a book. Of shit. 1029 00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:08,720 We kind of know. I know. 1030 00:49:08,720 --> 00:49:12,360 The other half you're like, yeah, whatever. 1031 00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:14,080 All I know. Wait, there was a guy named 1032 00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:17,160 DeLorean. No, we cruise around in one of 1033 00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:18,400 those. We do The Troubles. 1034 00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:21,160 To her, yeah. And I'm talking the troubles. 1035 00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:22,120 To her the. Troubles. 1036 00:49:22,240 --> 00:49:23,000 Yeah. You know what? 1037 00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:24,200 The troubles. I do I. 1038 00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:26,000 But I don't It's like the Protestant. 1039 00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:27,200 Catholic thing. Yeah. 1040 00:49:27,520 --> 00:49:28,880 Or like they call it the Troubles. 1041 00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:29,600 Yeah. Oh, such a. 1042 00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:32,000 Sexy way to say like fucking riots. 1043 00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:34,880 Yeah, the Troubles, the Irish. And there's a thing called the 1044 00:49:34,880 --> 00:49:37,200 peace line that runs. Through like quite a bit of 1045 00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:39,960 Belfast that separates A Protestant Catholics and we can 1046 00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:43,240 go to the peace line. It's not that like, it's not 1047 00:49:43,240 --> 00:49:45,440 like some of the biggest ones, like there's a door in it that 1048 00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:47,920 gets open like 9:00 to 5:00. So that like, devalues it a 1049 00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:48,560 little bit. Yeah. 1050 00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:50,120 That undermines it because there's like, there's still 1051 00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:51,840 issues with Protestants and Catholics. 1052 00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:52,960 Yeah. For real? 1053 00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:53,800 Yeah. Oh, I. 1054 00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:56,760 Thought that was done you. Know it kind. 1055 00:49:56,760 --> 00:49:59,080 Of like, like we'd say it is, but then we'll like we'll wank 1056 00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:00,520 out you, you know what I mean? It's like, oh, it's gone. 1057 00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:03,160 But like so I watched this movie called but we were just talking. 1058 00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:04,800 About this on the ride over, I watched this movie called 1059 00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:06,480 Belfast. Yeah, Jamie Dornan's in it. 1060 00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:07,960 I don't know you. Don't know who he is. 1061 00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:09,120 I don't know. No, no, no, no. 1062 00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:10,240 I'm telling you. Yes. 1063 00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:13,160 Is he related to John? DeLorean. 1064 00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:16,400 No, no, no. Jimmy Dornan. 1065 00:50:16,600 --> 00:50:17,560 I don't know. Hang on, let me. 1066 00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:20,160 See which one? Is he, is he the the dad? 1067 00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:21,880 Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's fucking great. 1068 00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:23,520 Yeah, Him and the wife who plays the wife. 1069 00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:27,960 She's sexiest Katrina Ball. Something like that, Belfast and 1070 00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:30,560 so. There's a sexiness to it. 1071 00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:34,080 There's a sexiness to that time, that time. 1072 00:50:34,480 --> 00:50:36,280 But would you want to do like? Would you want to come over? 1073 00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:38,960 And we get you. I wanted to see do you want to 1074 00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:41,360 play yourself with it? We could do you want to join a 1075 00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:43,480 paramilitary for like 1 day? Is this is this? 1076 00:50:43,480 --> 00:50:46,280 Is this like if someone was? Doing a podcast in Alabama and 1077 00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:48,160 he's like, I want to hang a black person. 1078 00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:54,240 Is that the thing? We have no like frame. 1079 00:50:54,240 --> 00:50:57,640 Of reference for when we're offending so we don't know 1080 00:50:57,640 --> 00:51:00,640 anything about it. Me and Rogan, what time we were 1081 00:51:00,720 --> 00:51:03,960 fucking, we were using. I won't even say it because I 1082 00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:08,520 know it's a bad word, but the P word, you know, for your people 1083 00:51:08,520 --> 00:51:10,440 that by a fight shot. A fight shot. 1084 00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:11,720 Yeah, yeah. Bag of shite. 1085 00:51:11,720 --> 00:51:12,960 Yeah. Ain't nothing but a bag of 1086 00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:14,640 shite. Tell him, Tell him, Johnny. 1087 00:51:14,720 --> 00:51:17,200 Oh, he's a bag of shite. He is a beg of shite. 1088 00:51:17,280 --> 00:51:18,320 A fighter. A fight. 1089 00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:22,720 We were watching. You can't do accents, you know 1090 00:51:22,720 --> 00:51:25,360 nothing but a bag of shite. I'll tell you a fighter. 1091 00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:29,280 By the way, if there's a. Movie you have that look like 1092 00:51:29,280 --> 00:51:31,320 kneeled dude. They were. 1093 00:51:31,320 --> 00:51:33,960 There's AP. Word for that thing I know OK 1094 00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:36,440 and Rogan. And I were doing a podcast and. 1095 00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:41,080 We were just dropping that like we're in a fucking hip hop gang 1096 00:51:41,320 --> 00:51:43,240 and we're just, and we were obsessed. 1097 00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:45,480 Big John. What was that guy's name? 1098 00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:48,240 He was a, he was a fucking. It was so fucking. 1099 00:51:48,240 --> 00:51:49,960 You mean the main, like the main bare knuckle guy? 1100 00:51:49,960 --> 00:51:50,800 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1101 00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:53,000 And we were obsessed. He's in talking. 1102 00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:57,400 Oh, I love that, he put, but we were obsessed with those fights 1103 00:51:57,400 --> 00:51:59,600 and we were just dropping and everyone and people were hitting 1104 00:51:59,600 --> 00:52:02,800 us up like, you know, you can't. So we live stream back then you 1105 00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:05,000 can't say that word. And we were like, and then we'd 1106 00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:06,760 say the word. You can't say the word. 1107 00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:07,960 We'd say it like four or five times. 1108 00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:12,400 Why can't we say the word and, but, but when it's not offensive 1109 00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:16,080 to you, it has no register. Like it has no register to you 1110 00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:19,200 go like I remember I was in Australia and I was like, my 1111 00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:21,640 opening joke was I just got done watching Aborigine porn and 1112 00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:24,400 everyone's like, what the fuck? And I was like, wait, if you 1113 00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:26,080 guys not, how do you not watch it? 1114 00:52:26,080 --> 00:52:30,360 They're here with you and and like, but you it doesn't if it 1115 00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:33,720 if you if you don't, it's the I think it's the thing with like 1116 00:52:33,720 --> 00:52:36,280 cancel culture. If it doesn't register you as to 1117 00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:38,600 you as bad, then it doesn't affect you. 1118 00:52:38,600 --> 00:52:40,720 It's like, who did they go after? 1119 00:52:41,040 --> 00:52:43,840 They went after someone and he was just like, I don't really 1120 00:52:43,840 --> 00:52:46,000 care. And then they were like, oh, 1121 00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:48,920 guess we can't get him on that. And you're like, like, like 1122 00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:50,880 Rogan with the fucking vaccine stuff. 1123 00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:53,080 And then we need to cancel and he goes, yeah, I don't, I don't 1124 00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:56,120 believe in that and just move forward. 1125 00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:58,120 And you're like. OK, the only way to be 1126 00:52:58,120 --> 00:53:00,360 problematic is if like you. Pick the side. 1127 00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:02,760 But here's the thing we get you to join paramilitaries for a 1128 00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:05,400 damn but we split the day up. You join a like a loyalist 1129 00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:08,720 paramilitary 1/2 a day and a republican paramilitary after. 1130 00:53:08,720 --> 00:53:12,800 So what it was was. So Belfast, Belfast is. 1131 00:53:12,800 --> 00:53:14,240 Please keep saying Belfast is it. 1132 00:53:14,240 --> 00:53:15,840 That's why no. That's not it, but I love. 1133 00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:17,760 It Belfast. Belfast is. 1134 00:53:18,400 --> 00:53:21,760 Is Protestant right? Oh God, it's it's. 1135 00:53:21,760 --> 00:53:24,640 It's both like and. I need a hard line, but who is 1136 00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:26,360 you're the ones that they start like in the. 1137 00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:28,480 Movie that family's Catholic, right? 1138 00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:30,120 Right. So it would be like a like a 1139 00:53:30,120 --> 00:53:31,440 Protestant. Or what would be called a 1140 00:53:31,440 --> 00:53:35,160 loyalist guy or paramilitary would be the bad guys. 1141 00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:36,440 But are you Protestant? I'm. 1142 00:53:36,440 --> 00:53:38,560 I'm a little bit of both. Oh. 1143 00:53:38,760 --> 00:53:39,680 Oh, yeah. You're like Trevor. 1144 00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:45,440 Noah, Yeah. By the way, Trevor Noah. 1145 00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:51,720 Trevor Noah did. I've never, I mean, I'm not 1146 00:53:51,720 --> 00:53:53,320 shitting on him. I've never watched The Daily 1147 00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:53,800 Show. I'm just not. 1148 00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:55,680 I'm not. It's not, it's not on my radar, 1149 00:53:55,760 --> 00:53:56,960 right? Like it's just not. 1150 00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:00,840 It's not when I watch TV, it's like 5 in the afternoon or 1151 00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:01,800 something. No, no, no. 1152 00:54:02,520 --> 00:54:06,480 No, no, no. No, he did the most fucking, 1153 00:54:08,200 --> 00:54:10,680 maybe the most brilliant piece of television I've ever seen in 1154 00:54:10,680 --> 00:54:12,760 my life. He took AAI. 1155 00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:14,080 Think it's for The Daily Show. I think he might. 1156 00:54:14,080 --> 00:54:15,360 I think he's done doing The Daily Show. 1157 00:54:15,680 --> 00:54:19,560 He took a camera crew back to meet his grandma who's lived in 1158 00:54:19,680 --> 00:54:25,600 lived in like a Township. And it was fucking fascinating 1159 00:54:25,600 --> 00:54:31,880 to listen to her talk about him being born a crime because he 1160 00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:35,720 was part white, part black. And that they, it was the most 1161 00:54:35,720 --> 00:54:37,880 amazing piece of television I've ever seen. 1162 00:54:38,080 --> 00:54:39,800 And I immediately was like, I should have watched The Daily 1163 00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:41,200 Show. God, that's so fucking 1164 00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:42,600 fascinating. And you can't catch up. 1165 00:54:42,600 --> 00:54:43,680 You're not going to catch up on no. 1166 00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:46,040 You're not going to start go from the start. 1167 00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:49,440 No, it's The Daily Show I. Went to a taping of The Daily 1168 00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:53,360 Show when I first started when it was with Craig Kilbourne and 1169 00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:57,760 I laughed fucking hysterically. Jon Stewart is Jon Stewart could 1170 00:54:57,760 --> 00:54:59,680 run for president and I'd vote for him. 1171 00:54:59,960 --> 00:55:02,920 I had a really cool moment in stand up in San Francisco. 1172 00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:08,560 Jon Stewart performed to maybe 20,000 people outside City Hall 1173 00:55:08,720 --> 00:55:13,840 on a stage and it was everyone was standing, it was outdoors 1174 00:55:14,160 --> 00:55:17,680 and it was silent, listening to every word he said. 1175 00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:22,880 And we were crying, laughing. I, I just, by the time Jon 1176 00:55:22,880 --> 00:55:25,280 Stewart left, I'd already lost, stopped watching The Daily Show. 1177 00:55:25,520 --> 00:55:28,240 And so when it wasn't like, gonna reboot for me to get back 1178 00:55:28,240 --> 00:55:30,720 into. Yeah, but so Tom's due to come 1179 00:55:30,720 --> 00:55:32,880 over to Belfast. He's he's doing, Tom's doing 1180 00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:34,760 Belfast, he's doing Belfast. On tour? 1181 00:55:35,080 --> 00:55:37,320 So what? I'm saying is, do we organise a 1182 00:55:37,320 --> 00:55:39,080 day of fun for him? Would he be into that? 1183 00:55:39,080 --> 00:55:40,240 Does he like to keep himself himself? 1184 00:55:40,360 --> 00:55:42,800 Should we stage like a fake kidnap, like paramilitary 1185 00:55:42,800 --> 00:55:44,400 kidnap? And no, what you should do, what 1186 00:55:44,400 --> 00:55:46,640 you do is. Yeah, take him to the Fendi 1187 00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:51,400 store, the Gucci store, to the Prada store, get him a sauna 1188 00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:57,200 spa, find a high end like like designer drug dealer who can 1189 00:55:57,200 --> 00:56:01,560 give them it's Belfast lip lip the lip injections. 1190 00:56:03,240 --> 00:56:06,280 He yeah, no, he's fucking youth. Tom doesn't do any. 1191 00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:08,200 He doesn't want to see He doesn't want to see the good. 1192 00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:14,440 He does not care about Belfast. Yeah, I bet he'll I bet Tom is I 1193 00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:18,400 I'm I'm half joking because there because there's a seat of 1194 00:56:18,400 --> 00:56:21,400 truth in this. Tom literally is the comic that 1195 00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:24,080 gets there, gets on, is there about to coming on stage and he 1196 00:56:24,080 --> 00:56:25,960 looks at the guy next to me goes where am I? 1197 00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:29,000 And they're like Belfast. He goes is that what country 1198 00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:30,920 like Ireland? He goes fantastic. 1199 00:56:31,280 --> 00:56:34,320 Belfast. I love you guys I. 1200 00:56:35,160 --> 00:56:37,160 Remember seeing. Him I saw. 1201 00:56:37,280 --> 00:56:39,360 Drake play here. Yeah. 1202 00:56:39,360 --> 00:56:42,320 And in Dublin, he's like Dublin. There's been the best show of 1203 00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:44,040 the tour and I got like really into it. 1204 00:56:44,040 --> 00:56:47,000 This is like 3 years ago. I was like, that's the best show 1205 00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:48,640 he's ever done. I was like this and I'm part of 1206 00:56:48,640 --> 00:56:50,400 it. And then when I was in London 1207 00:56:50,400 --> 00:56:53,760 doing a gig to the comedians that tickets see Drake and O2 1208 00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:56,320 and I'd seen the same tour and I was like fuck it, I'll go again. 1209 00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:57,920 I was like this amazing. I've seen him before. 1210 00:56:57,920 --> 00:56:59,880 It was the best one he'd ever done and he's like London, 1211 00:56:59,880 --> 00:57:00,840 that's the best show of the tour. 1212 00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:04,120 And I was like, hold on. What's happening? 1213 00:57:04,120 --> 00:57:06,840 I'm definitely saying that I realised like I realised. 1214 00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:09,840 Dublin it's it was me. By the way, I wish. 1215 00:57:09,840 --> 00:57:11,760 You hadn't put the word. Belfast in my head so much 1216 00:57:11,760 --> 00:57:12,880 because I've gotten to it tonight. 1217 00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:16,160 I say Belfast. Yeah, just say it's good to be 1218 00:57:16,160 --> 00:57:16,880 here. Don't name a. 1219 00:57:16,880 --> 00:57:19,680 Place where I want to run this by you. 1220 00:57:20,360 --> 00:57:23,400 I'm we have a lot of slang in Belfast like like everywhere. 1221 00:57:23,600 --> 00:57:27,520 I want to run like 5 phrases by you and I want you to tell me 1222 00:57:27,520 --> 00:57:30,320 what you think this means yeah. So you just tell me what you and 1223 00:57:30,320 --> 00:57:31,800 if you need me to, I'll use it in the sentence. 1224 00:57:31,800 --> 00:57:34,880 OK. The cracks 90 the crank the 1225 00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:37,560 cracks 90 the. Cracks 9090. 1226 00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:41,600 I said. 90, but you say 90. 9 the cracks 90 cracks 90 if I 1227 00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:45,720 were. To say to you the cracks 90 I 1228 00:57:45,760 --> 00:57:48,720 would I would assume you're you're saying you can't always 1229 00:57:48,720 --> 00:57:55,000 get what you want, but. If you get to have anal sex, 1230 00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:56,280 that. At least it's something. 1231 00:57:57,120 --> 00:57:58,480 No, it just means like it's a good time. 1232 00:57:58,760 --> 00:58:01,840 Oh, oh, the crack. I was figuring like. 1233 00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:03,920 You can't get the. Pussy so you can just fuck her 1234 00:58:03,920 --> 00:58:07,080 in the ass? No, it means like the crack is. 1235 00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:09,600 Like the laugh, the fun, and it means it's 90. 1236 00:58:09,600 --> 00:58:12,720 Like it's never going to be 100 in Belfast, but we can get it to 1237 00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:14,480 90. I like that. 1238 00:58:14,480 --> 00:58:16,800 The Cracks 90. Cracks 9090. 1239 00:58:17,080 --> 00:58:19,320 What about if I was to? Call someone a buck agent. 1240 00:58:20,040 --> 00:58:23,720 Buck Egypt, Yeah. Egypt has got to be moron, so 1241 00:58:23,720 --> 00:58:27,720 I'd say a widespread moron. 100% buck Egypt. 1242 00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:29,720 See. See on this, like on your day 1243 00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:32,080 off in Dublin, Yeah, just like anytime someone's like being a 1244 00:58:32,080 --> 00:58:33,640 moron, just say to someone from here. 1245 00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:35,880 What a Buck Agent Buck. Fucking love that. 1246 00:58:36,160 --> 00:58:38,040 What if I was? To tell you to wind your neck 1247 00:58:38,040 --> 00:58:39,520 in. Wind my neck in. 1248 00:58:39,800 --> 00:58:43,440 Stop talking. Shit, yes, I just feel that one. 1249 00:58:43,440 --> 00:58:45,920 And by the way, you could do that to me a lot. 1250 00:58:47,120 --> 00:58:48,640 What if I was to tell you it's Baltic? 1251 00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:51,720 Baltic. Well, I'm assuming. 1252 00:58:51,880 --> 00:58:53,560 That you're talking. About the Baltic people. 1253 00:58:53,560 --> 00:58:55,800 So I'm going to try, I'm going to try to guess what they are. 1254 00:58:56,080 --> 00:58:58,880 And I'm, I'm guessing you probably Baltic people are like 1255 00:58:59,360 --> 00:59:02,760 Serbs and stuff. No AM. 1256 00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:03,760 I not am I? Am I? 1257 00:59:03,760 --> 00:59:07,080 Taking this racial Yeah, yeah, OK, yeah, Baltic, OK. 1258 00:59:07,560 --> 00:59:10,640 It just means it's cold. And. 1259 00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:14,240 Lastly, if I was to tell you. If I was to talk about Bakken, 1260 00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:18,640 oh, it's got to be fucking yes. Fucking yes, you do you, you 1261 00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:20,840 know, here I. Feel like I feel like I could. 1262 00:59:21,280 --> 00:59:26,040 I could assimilate very easily. I think you could, although I 1263 00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:27,200 did you look like you're from here. 1264 00:59:27,880 --> 00:59:32,200 I should, I should, I should look like I thought I was When I 1265 00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:33,760 went to Germany, I was like, it's so good to be home. 1266 00:59:33,760 --> 00:59:36,960 And they're like, and then I proceeded to talk about Hitler 1267 00:59:36,960 --> 00:59:39,400 for the next 20 minutes. Oh, anytime I'm in the States 1268 00:59:39,400 --> 00:59:40,880 and speak, people. Are like, oh, what part of 1269 00:59:40,880 --> 00:59:43,400 Germany are you from? Oh yeah, you got a little bit of 1270 00:59:43,400 --> 00:59:45,600 a. Yeah, there's. 1271 00:59:45,600 --> 00:59:48,520 Something sexy about like. I hooked up with an Irish chick 1272 00:59:48,520 --> 00:59:54,960 one time in probably 2000. It's got to be 2000. 1273 00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:57,120 If we work or you're my dad, I'm going to fucking. 1274 00:59:57,160 --> 01:00:02,120 Love this and. She had just gotten out of gaol. 1275 01:00:02,360 --> 01:00:05,160 No, she's just gotten out of an engagement. 1276 01:00:05,720 --> 01:00:08,000 Her she was at a she was at someone else's wedding. 1277 01:00:08,200 --> 01:00:10,080 Her fiance had broken up with her. 1278 01:00:10,480 --> 01:00:15,960 We met up with her at a bar. Me, Patrice and Rich Voss had 1279 01:00:15,960 --> 01:00:20,760 met up with her and her friends and me and her went back to my 1280 01:00:20,760 --> 01:00:26,160 flat in Edinburgh and we got into my room and. 1281 01:00:28,080 --> 01:00:33,080 She she was drunk and she kept. Saying, oh, I'm going to die an 1282 01:00:33,080 --> 01:00:37,040 old maid, I'm gonna die an old maid. 1283 01:00:37,240 --> 01:00:39,280 And you know when you're like kissing someone and then you 1284 01:00:39,280 --> 01:00:41,480 realise I don't think they're that into this. 1285 01:00:42,240 --> 01:00:44,680 And like, and she would like, we'd kiss and then she'd look at 1286 01:00:44,680 --> 01:00:48,160 me, could you love an old maid? And I was like, I was like, 1287 01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:49,520 yeah, yeah, yeah, I could love an old maid. 1288 01:00:49,720 --> 01:00:51,080 I was like, was she from Victoria? 1289 01:00:51,320 --> 01:00:52,440 No, she was. She was. 1290 01:00:52,680 --> 01:00:55,080 So. There's something so sexy, like 1291 01:00:55,080 --> 01:00:58,920 the white whiteness of an Irish chick, like the white, like 1292 01:00:59,160 --> 01:01:02,520 puffy nipple, red whiteness of an Irish chick where you're 1293 01:01:02,520 --> 01:01:06,160 like, like fucking clean elbows and just everything. 1294 01:01:06,280 --> 01:01:11,040 And she but she was so sexy. Blonde hair with little ringlets 1295 01:01:11,240 --> 01:01:13,560 and she was like, could you love an old maid? 1296 01:01:13,720 --> 01:01:16,160 And I was like, Hey, you can't talk like this because you're 1297 01:01:16,160 --> 01:01:19,160 reminding of my me of my Nana. So like, like her accent was 1298 01:01:19,160 --> 01:01:22,320 very similar to all the older women in my family, like my old 1299 01:01:22,320 --> 01:01:26,720 and all my Philly side. And she was like, we can have. 1300 01:01:26,720 --> 01:01:29,960 Sex but you're. Doing it with an old maid and I 1301 01:01:29,960 --> 01:01:32,720 was like, you're making me and I was like, I can't have sex with 1302 01:01:32,720 --> 01:01:40,240 her and and and we she didn't she had to she had to catch a 1303 01:01:40,240 --> 01:01:42,920 fairy in the morning. And so we we didn't have sex 1304 01:01:42,920 --> 01:01:45,480 where we didn't really do anything much more than kiss 1305 01:01:45,760 --> 01:01:47,960 laid in my bed. She fell asleep. 1306 01:01:48,200 --> 01:01:53,320 She got up early to to go to. She got. 1307 01:01:53,320 --> 01:01:56,560 Up early to catch the fairy. And I got up with her and 1308 01:01:56,560 --> 01:01:58,320 Patrice is already up and he was. 1309 01:02:00,720 --> 01:02:03,760 He was sitting in the kitchen. He was a brutal fucking human at 1310 01:02:03,760 --> 01:02:05,480 times. He was sitting in the kitchen 1311 01:02:05,480 --> 01:02:07,880 and I walked her to the thing to the door. 1312 01:02:08,680 --> 01:02:12,920 I'm catching me fairy. Thanks for last night and taking 1313 01:02:12,920 --> 01:02:15,680 care of this old maid. And I went OK, OK. 1314 01:02:16,200 --> 01:02:20,520 And she laughed and I come down. I just sit, sit across from 1315 01:02:20,520 --> 01:02:21,520 Patrice. And he goes. 1316 01:02:22,360 --> 01:02:26,720 Said you fuck Mrs Doubtfire or not and I, no, I didn't. 1317 01:02:26,760 --> 01:02:29,800 He goes. I couldn't stop hearing her say 1318 01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:32,160 she's an old fucking maid all night long. 1319 01:02:32,160 --> 01:02:34,800 And I was like, yeah, that was pretty aggressive. 1320 01:02:35,400 --> 01:02:40,520 He, there was another, there was another chick that I, I hooked 1321 01:02:40,520 --> 01:02:43,400 up with this chick that had cerebral palsy and I didn't know 1322 01:02:43,400 --> 01:02:45,280 she had cerebral palsy because I was drinking so much at the 1323 01:02:45,280 --> 01:02:46,480 time. I just thought we were all 1324 01:02:46,480 --> 01:02:49,080 fucked up. And then she came over to, to, 1325 01:02:49,320 --> 01:02:51,800 to Scotland and I found out she had cerebral palsy right before 1326 01:02:51,800 --> 01:02:55,080 she came. And I was like, I just was like, 1327 01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:56,640 Oh yeah. And so Patrice could not stop 1328 01:02:56,640 --> 01:02:59,840 laughing that I was such an alcoholic that I couldn't tell 1329 01:02:59,840 --> 01:03:02,280 if someone was disabled. And so. 1330 01:03:02,360 --> 01:03:05,440 And so one night we're hooking up in my bed, me and this chick, 1331 01:03:05,560 --> 01:03:09,840 and she was absolutely fucking gorgeous. 1332 01:03:10,840 --> 01:03:15,920 Absolutely fucking gorgeous. She looked like a hotter Sarah 1333 01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:19,040 Michelle Gellar, fucking gorgeous. 1334 01:03:19,800 --> 01:03:24,200 And she was a little. Crazy and she. 1335 01:03:24,200 --> 01:03:27,320 Took off all her clothes and stood at the front of my bed and 1336 01:03:27,320 --> 01:03:29,800 let me know I would not be fucking her. 1337 01:03:30,400 --> 01:03:34,040 She was drunk and she was like you're not fucking me, you're 1338 01:03:34,040 --> 01:03:37,040 not fucking me, you're not going to fuck me at all and she's 1339 01:03:37,040 --> 01:03:40,400 totally naked. I'm telling you, the hottest, 1340 01:03:41,120 --> 01:03:44,360 hottest fucking body. Perfect, perfect. 1341 01:03:44,680 --> 01:03:49,360 Like C cup tits. She was maybe 115 lbs C cup tits 1342 01:03:49,600 --> 01:03:53,520 Gorgeous, gorgeous, yes, like her left arm is a little 1343 01:03:53,520 --> 01:03:55,560 skinnier than her right arm and her left leg was a little 1344 01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:57,840 skinnier than her right leg. I'm just telling you the truth. 1345 01:03:58,120 --> 01:04:01,080 And but she was and but you could tell that these things had 1346 01:04:01,080 --> 01:04:04,320 like, you're not fucking me. Do you understand me? 1347 01:04:04,320 --> 01:04:05,960 And I was like, I go, I'm not trying to fuck you. 1348 01:04:05,960 --> 01:04:07,360 I'm trying to go to bed right now. 1349 01:04:07,600 --> 01:04:09,480 And I was like, and in my head I was like, just suck my Dick and 1350 01:04:09,480 --> 01:04:11,760 we'll go to bed. And but I was like, OK, she was 1351 01:04:11,760 --> 01:04:13,840 staying in my place. And I was like, OK, I'm not 1352 01:04:13,840 --> 01:04:14,840 fucking you. I get it. 1353 01:04:15,440 --> 01:04:20,440 And she's at the front of my bed and to the far. 1354 01:04:20,440 --> 01:04:22,040 Like like this is my. Bed. 1355 01:04:22,160 --> 01:04:24,080 She's here. That's the door to my bedroom. 1356 01:04:24,240 --> 01:04:28,800 My door opens and Patrice sticks his big head in like a fucking 1357 01:04:28,800 --> 01:04:30,840 just leans in, looks at me and he goes. 1358 01:04:30,960 --> 01:04:34,960 Looks at her, looks at me, and he goes and then leaves out of 1359 01:04:34,960 --> 01:04:37,400 the room and shuts the door. She never saw it. 1360 01:04:37,600 --> 01:04:41,880 She fucking hated Patrice. She hated Patrice because she 1361 01:04:41,880 --> 01:04:43,640 went to shake his hand and she put out her left hand or 1362 01:04:43,640 --> 01:04:45,440 whatever to shake his hand. He goes, What are you, the 1363 01:04:45,440 --> 01:04:47,480 fucking queen? Give me other hand. 1364 01:04:47,640 --> 01:04:50,760 What's wrong with his hand? You got a baby hand and and she 1365 01:04:50,760 --> 01:04:54,200 was and immediately caught. He fucking she. 1366 01:04:54,200 --> 01:04:58,120 He hated her so fucking much and she fucking hated him. 1367 01:04:58,280 --> 01:05:00,120 Imagine I'm driving back tonight and it's all. 1368 01:05:00,120 --> 01:05:02,520 Dark and I'm driving down the motorway and I just hear the old 1369 01:05:02,520 --> 01:05:05,000 maid from the backsets. I'm coming. 1370 01:05:05,520 --> 01:05:06,720 Wouldn't. It be great if you could find. 1371 01:05:06,720 --> 01:05:08,440 I want to love to find that chick. 1372 01:05:08,440 --> 01:05:10,240 Yeah. I wonder if she has to have 1373 01:05:10,240 --> 01:05:12,320 gained weight. There's 2° of separation to 1374 01:05:12,320 --> 01:05:13,760 everyone in. Ireland will find her. 1375 01:05:14,040 --> 01:05:16,000 Yeah, I would. That's the only thing. 1376 01:05:16,000 --> 01:05:19,120 That I wish like like I'm very happily married and I love my 1377 01:05:19,120 --> 01:05:24,920 wife, but I would be would be cool in like a Prince who's the 1378 01:05:24,920 --> 01:05:27,360 one that just died, Prince Philip. 1379 01:05:27,680 --> 01:05:29,800 In a Prince. Philip Way to go around the 1380 01:05:29,800 --> 01:05:31,880 world and fuck different indigenous people. 1381 01:05:31,880 --> 01:05:33,160 Yeah, not in a Prince Andrew way. 1382 01:05:33,160 --> 01:05:34,800 Yeah, not in a. Prince Andrew Way, but in a 1383 01:05:34,800 --> 01:05:36,360 Prince. Philip Way where like do you 1384 01:05:36,360 --> 01:05:38,760 ever see like the in the crime, the picture? 1385 01:05:38,840 --> 01:05:39,920 Yeah. Do you see the crime? 1386 01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:42,400 When they're when they're in like the islands and they're all 1387 01:05:42,400 --> 01:05:45,680 like laid back on a tree root and it's just naked fucking 1388 01:05:45,680 --> 01:05:47,840 indigenous people. And he's like, it's not bad 1389 01:05:47,840 --> 01:05:51,160 here, huh? It's such, I mean him and his 1390 01:05:51,160 --> 01:05:54,920 boys had a fucking 50 year old bachelor party. 1391 01:05:54,920 --> 01:05:58,400 That was it was pedalled to the fucking the metal boys getting 1392 01:05:58,400 --> 01:06:01,080 the tonne, sealing the seas. Yeah, you did. 1393 01:06:01,080 --> 01:06:03,800 They just put them on boat. And they're like, just don't 1394 01:06:03,800 --> 01:06:06,280 bring it back. Do you know how many, little 1395 01:06:06,280 --> 01:06:07,360 Prince? Andrews, OR. 1396 01:06:07,360 --> 01:06:11,440 Prince Phillip tried to be around, like, just. 1397 01:06:12,120 --> 01:06:15,600 I mean, that guy had a fucking that guy. 1398 01:06:15,600 --> 01:06:19,440 That guy had a fucking life. Yeah, he had a decade of fun 1399 01:06:19,480 --> 01:06:20,640 early. Nazi, right? 1400 01:06:20,760 --> 01:06:21,520 Yeah. So early. 1401 01:06:21,520 --> 01:06:25,480 Nazi not even like, like was like he was the fun Nazi when it 1402 01:06:25,480 --> 01:06:27,080 was cool. Yeah, he was, he was the fun 1403 01:06:27,080 --> 01:06:28,400 Nazi before they were doing hate crimes. 1404 01:06:28,640 --> 01:06:31,240 Like he was like the got the outfit, went to the camps and he 1405 01:06:31,320 --> 01:06:34,240 like the the the like where the boys fuck the girls and then 1406 01:06:34,240 --> 01:06:36,360 they're and then they're like, go shit's going sideways. 1407 01:06:36,600 --> 01:06:39,400 You want to marry a British? Yeah, he's like Don son fucking 1408 01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:41,280 goes up because I don't care if it's my cousin, let's fucking do 1409 01:06:41,280 --> 01:06:43,840 this. And then they get together and 1410 01:06:43,840 --> 01:06:48,280 then he just fucking parties balls for fuck the rest of his 1411 01:06:48,280 --> 01:06:50,320 life. Do you know that I got obsessed 1412 01:06:50,320 --> 01:06:53,040 with the queen? I really had a a real this is 1413 01:06:53,040 --> 01:06:55,440 going to sound fucked up and I know that I don't know what I'm 1414 01:06:55,440 --> 01:07:00,400 saying, but I had a real respect for her because she took on a 1415 01:07:00,400 --> 01:07:03,960 responsibility that none of us would fucking want. 1416 01:07:04,760 --> 01:07:09,280 You mean like look at like the fucking Andrew is? 1417 01:07:09,280 --> 01:07:11,880 That the red headed. Kid Andrew who? 1418 01:07:12,400 --> 01:07:13,320 Harry. Harry. 1419 01:07:13,480 --> 01:07:14,280 Look at Harry. Harry. 1420 01:07:14,280 --> 01:07:14,840 Didn't. Want it? 1421 01:07:14,960 --> 01:07:16,400 No. Yeah, he didn't want it. 1422 01:07:16,400 --> 01:07:17,480 He don't want to. Be a part of that. 1423 01:07:17,800 --> 01:07:20,200 And people go, oh, you would, I would love to be the Prince. 1424 01:07:20,400 --> 01:07:23,560 It's a pain in the fucking ass. Prince Philip met this kid for 1425 01:07:23,560 --> 01:07:25,280 like ATV. Opportunity kind of thing at a 1426 01:07:25,280 --> 01:07:28,200 primary school, the kids like 6 years old and he said to the 1427 01:07:28,200 --> 01:07:30,120 kid, what do you want to be when you're older kids like an 1428 01:07:30,120 --> 01:07:31,600 astronaut? He's like too fat to be an 1429 01:07:31,600 --> 01:07:35,160 astronaut walked off. There's there's compilation, 1430 01:07:35,160 --> 01:07:36,880 YouTube compilations that are phenomenal. 1431 01:07:37,240 --> 01:07:39,920 Let me That would be. That would be. 1432 01:07:42,800 --> 01:07:47,800 I would be. That I want to. 1433 01:07:47,880 --> 01:07:51,720 I want to be king now. Yeah, just so that and you can't 1434 01:07:51,720 --> 01:07:55,200 get cancelled and you just, and you're almost like you're 1435 01:07:55,200 --> 01:07:56,920 autistic. You say the thing you think 1436 01:07:57,200 --> 01:07:58,320 you're too bad to be an astronaut. 1437 01:07:58,600 --> 01:08:02,760 Yeah. Next, someone needs to tell this 1438 01:08:02,760 --> 01:08:04,880 kid that's fucking Yeah, that guy. 1439 01:08:04,920 --> 01:08:06,800 That guy partied his Dick off. I watched the crown. 1440 01:08:06,800 --> 01:08:09,520 I loved the great fucking show. Can I tell you what other shows 1441 01:08:09,520 --> 01:08:12,760 really good have you seen? Is it the great? 1442 01:08:13,640 --> 01:08:14,880 It's. I think it's called the great. 1443 01:08:15,320 --> 01:08:18,359 It's about Catherine the Great and it they did it so 1444 01:08:18,359 --> 01:08:24,040 interestingly because they made it so that they. 1445 01:08:24,040 --> 01:08:27,279 Made it so that. Everything's kind of like 1446 01:08:27,279 --> 01:08:32,760 flippantly fun, right? So it's it's it's a. 1447 01:08:32,760 --> 01:08:35,920 Horrible atrocities. Her husband Peter was an 1448 01:08:35,960 --> 01:08:38,560 absolute fucking nightmare of a human being. 1449 01:08:38,920 --> 01:08:42,640 He, they tried to kill him, he poisoned, he, they, he murdered 1450 01:08:42,640 --> 01:08:45,960 his entire staff at one point. Like he's just a horrible man, 1451 01:08:46,080 --> 01:08:50,240 but they made it like like like tongue in cheek. 1452 01:08:50,520 --> 01:08:53,960 So the all the murders are a little funny like and it's and 1453 01:08:53,960 --> 01:08:58,640 it and it's really done well. And I and you've it's done so 1454 01:08:58,640 --> 01:09:01,359 well. You you almost forget that these 1455 01:09:01,359 --> 01:09:03,000 were actual murders he committed. 1456 01:09:03,359 --> 01:09:07,399 And he murdered tonnes of fucking people flippantly that 1457 01:09:07,399 --> 01:09:09,720 flippantly, like she wanted a bear. 1458 01:09:09,720 --> 01:09:12,520 That's the one thing she wanted was a bear having no idea what a 1459 01:09:12,520 --> 01:09:15,319 bear was. And then he got her a bear. 1460 01:09:15,319 --> 01:09:17,080 And it was like, it was like fucking. 1461 01:09:17,359 --> 01:09:19,840 And then he killed the bear because he got mad at her. 1462 01:09:19,840 --> 01:09:22,520 And. And but it's so done so well 1463 01:09:22,520 --> 01:09:24,920 that you're like, you're like, oh, he killed the bear not 1464 01:09:24,920 --> 01:09:26,960 realising that was an animal. Yeah, it's fucking. 1465 01:09:26,960 --> 01:09:28,600 That was a good show. The Crown's good. 1466 01:09:29,200 --> 01:09:31,240 Have you seen them? I've seen, you know. 1467 01:09:31,240 --> 01:09:32,720 Obviously machines. Come on. 1468 01:09:32,720 --> 01:09:34,640 It's going to be huge. Have you seen my movie? 1469 01:09:34,960 --> 01:09:36,240 No. Battle of the Bone? 1470 01:09:36,520 --> 01:09:39,200 No. 2. 1008 Northern Irish. Independent Martial. 1471 01:09:39,200 --> 01:09:41,000 Arts zombie movie. You haven't seen martial arts 1472 01:09:41,000 --> 01:09:43,359 zombie movie? Let me set the scene. 1473 01:09:44,279 --> 01:09:46,720 Protestants and Catholics come together in Belfast for the 1474 01:09:46,720 --> 01:09:49,240 first time to defeat an army of drug creed zombies. 1475 01:09:49,240 --> 01:09:51,560 You're looking at the lead 2008 ringing a bell. 1476 01:09:51,840 --> 01:09:53,640 No, I'm going to watch it though. 1477 01:09:54,120 --> 01:09:56,600 Protestants and Catholics come together to fight Battle of the 1478 01:09:56,600 --> 01:09:59,200 Zombies. I swear this was a real thing. 1479 01:09:59,200 --> 01:10:00,320 So when? I'll tell you a quick version 1480 01:10:00,320 --> 01:10:02,880 this Whenever I was in college, I studied like film making 1481 01:10:02,880 --> 01:10:05,440 behind the camera stuff. And then this guy was like 1482 01:10:05,440 --> 01:10:08,880 making a feature film for 10 grand and he was like, I need 1483 01:10:08,880 --> 01:10:11,040 students to like be assistant camera people. 1484 01:10:11,080 --> 01:10:14,240 I'll do it two weeks into it. This guy's like I'm supposed to 1485 01:10:14,240 --> 01:10:16,520 be the lead him. He's like, will you shave your 1486 01:10:16,520 --> 01:10:18,800 head and you be the lead? I'd never acted ever. 1487 01:10:18,800 --> 01:10:21,320 I'd never done stand up. I was like, yeah, I'll do that. 1488 01:10:21,880 --> 01:10:24,000 No acting experience. I became like the lead in this 1489 01:10:24,000 --> 01:10:25,960 movie when we were in production. 1490 01:10:25,960 --> 01:10:30,320 So it's like at a stunt double. It was like it was at the time. 1491 01:10:30,320 --> 01:10:33,440 I was like, this is I'm I'm set like this is going to be huge. 1492 01:10:34,280 --> 01:10:38,480 It it's really worth a watch. It's it's. 1493 01:10:39,120 --> 01:10:41,840 Not, not no real budget. Cross and Catholics always been 1494 01:10:41,840 --> 01:10:44,560 enemies, but they come together to fight the zombies. 1495 01:10:45,760 --> 01:10:48,520 And he was like, he thought this movie was going to be great. 1496 01:10:49,080 --> 01:10:53,160 It got a review from a martial arts magazine in Japan that 1497 01:10:53,160 --> 01:10:55,840 said, and this is on the cover of the DVD, but the director put 1498 01:10:55,840 --> 01:10:57,760 it on like dead serious, like he wasn't being funny. 1499 01:10:58,080 --> 01:11:00,000 It's on the cover of the DVD A Battle of the Bone, that says 1500 01:11:00,320 --> 01:11:03,000 arguably the greatest Northern Irish martial arts zombie movie 1501 01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:04,960 ever made, and that that's on it. 1502 01:11:06,600 --> 01:11:08,600 It got into. Like HMV, which is like our. 1503 01:11:08,600 --> 01:11:13,000 Like big like DVD store. And it was, everyone's buzzing 1504 01:11:13,000 --> 01:11:14,160 about that like they're stalking it. 1505 01:11:14,280 --> 01:11:15,760 But it was, I swear to God, they were doing anything. 1506 01:11:15,760 --> 01:11:18,120 It was free with any purchase. Like they would just put it in 1507 01:11:18,120 --> 01:11:21,800 your bag as well. And yeah, Battle of the Boom, I 1508 01:11:21,800 --> 01:11:23,200 got to watch it. I got to watch it. 1509 01:11:23,200 --> 01:11:26,680 I love there's a it's funny that I like zombie movies were not 1510 01:11:26,680 --> 01:11:29,560 something I never was into and now all of a sudden they're 1511 01:11:29,560 --> 01:11:32,200 really fucking hot. Yeah, like zombie everything, 1512 01:11:32,560 --> 01:11:34,560 because Battle of the Bone if I can't wait. 1513 01:11:34,560 --> 01:11:36,240 To watch it I. Can't wait to watch it. 1514 01:11:36,240 --> 01:11:38,040 Surprise, you haven't seen it. So do you think you'll ever move 1515 01:11:38,040 --> 01:11:39,200 to the States? Would you move? 1516 01:11:39,200 --> 01:11:41,240 To the states. I thought if I if it if it 1517 01:11:41,240 --> 01:11:42,880 hasn't happened. Now, based on battle off the 1518 01:11:42,880 --> 01:11:44,520 back of Battle of the Bone, I don't think it's going to 1519 01:11:44,600 --> 01:11:46,000 happen. Battle of the Bone came out like 1520 01:11:46,120 --> 01:11:47,640 13 years ago. Really. 1521 01:11:47,680 --> 01:11:49,400 Yeah. It just hasn't hit yet. 1522 01:11:49,840 --> 01:11:52,000 It's it's coming. Hey, listen, they're they're 1523 01:11:52,160 --> 01:11:54,520 sleeper movies. There's a lot of them that pop 1524 01:11:54,520 --> 01:11:57,760 out at it for no reason at all. It's the shittest thing ever 1525 01:11:57,760 --> 01:12:00,480 made. Ever but to the point where it's 1526 01:12:00,480 --> 01:12:03,120 like really good get it released online. 1527 01:12:03,120 --> 01:12:04,360 I never. Got a script? 1528 01:12:04,480 --> 01:12:06,080 I would get a. Script as we were doing the 1529 01:12:06,080 --> 01:12:09,040 thing yeah and it was like just look at that not none of it 1530 01:12:09,040 --> 01:12:13,000 makes sense It was all 80 yard all 80 yard but like the 1531 01:12:13,000 --> 01:12:16,680 interior and the exterior stuff we're just on the same it you 1532 01:12:16,680 --> 01:12:19,720 have like oh there's a bit like there was a bit at the end 1533 01:12:19,720 --> 01:12:21,840 right. The iconic finish to this was 1534 01:12:22,400 --> 01:12:26,080 I'm standing at the sub top of some church steps blow bath with 1535 01:12:26,080 --> 01:12:27,320 a music. I love it. 1536 01:12:27,440 --> 01:12:30,680 The main zombie comes over and he's like making a beeline for 1537 01:12:30,680 --> 01:12:34,880 me because I'm like the main guy I have a shaved head I'm 18 at 1538 01:12:34,880 --> 01:12:39,320 this point 11 stone I'm like here we go I stand top of the 1539 01:12:39,320 --> 01:12:40,800 steps. The director explains this to me 1540 01:12:40,800 --> 01:12:42,520 on the day he goes, here's what's going to happen. 1541 01:12:43,040 --> 01:12:46,720 Two people are going to panic and throw you weapons to defeat 1542 01:12:46,720 --> 01:12:50,280 the zombie. It's a, it's a Union Jack and A 1543 01:12:50,280 --> 01:12:52,640 and a tricolour, the British flag and the Irish flag. 1544 01:12:52,640 --> 01:12:56,960 And in a symbolic moment, I'm going to impale the zombie with 1545 01:12:56,960 --> 01:12:59,640 the two flags and they're going to fly together, symbolising 1546 01:12:59,640 --> 01:13:01,880 people come together. But I swear to God, see on the 1547 01:13:01,880 --> 01:13:04,720 day when we shot it, I said to the director, as I'm at the top 1548 01:13:04,720 --> 01:13:07,440 of the steps, I said, how are you going to do the how are you 1549 01:13:07,440 --> 01:13:10,040 going to do the flip? Like you're going to CGI the 1550 01:13:10,040 --> 01:13:11,920 flip? He said no, I'll just give it a 1551 01:13:11,920 --> 01:13:14,880 go. I said give it. 1552 01:13:15,400 --> 01:13:18,040 AI can't do a flip. He's like you don't know unless 1553 01:13:18,520 --> 01:13:21,880 I should try We're we're 20 steps up. 1554 01:13:21,920 --> 01:13:25,000 I was like I won't be able to I can't catch in mid. 1555 01:13:25,080 --> 01:13:27,880 He goes catch him in mid air. Give it a go until you I was 1556 01:13:27,880 --> 01:13:33,440 like, I can't I won't live. So we we like chase this shot. 1557 01:13:33,680 --> 01:13:36,520 So like I catch them and it took like 20 takes for me to just 1558 01:13:36,520 --> 01:13:39,920 catch these. And then it was me up to the 1559 01:13:39,920 --> 01:13:42,160 point where I'm like, I have to make it look like I'm about to 1560 01:13:42,160 --> 01:13:47,760 do a flip some and I do this, it cuts to like a shot. 1561 01:13:47,760 --> 01:13:52,680 Of like. This guy on my feet and then I 1562 01:13:52,680 --> 01:13:55,160 land with the men and that's the end. 1563 01:13:55,160 --> 01:13:59,360 And it's it's, it's, it's a piece of cinematic history. 1564 01:13:59,400 --> 01:14:01,760 The Battle of the Bone. When we did the machine, there 1565 01:14:01,760 --> 01:14:04,680 was. A There was a stunt like I was. 1566 01:14:04,720 --> 01:14:08,080 I was very. I had. 1567 01:14:08,080 --> 01:14:09,520 I wanted to. Do all my own stunts like. 1568 01:14:09,520 --> 01:14:11,880 I, I wanted to, I was like one of the things, like I'll do all 1569 01:14:11,880 --> 01:14:13,000 my own stunts. I'm very athletic. 1570 01:14:13,000 --> 01:14:15,320 I can do all my own stunts. And they were like, they're 1571 01:14:15,320 --> 01:14:16,720 like, no, you shouldn't do all your stunts. 1572 01:14:16,720 --> 01:14:19,240 Stunts. My stunt guy's name was Kazumi. 1573 01:14:19,560 --> 01:14:21,360 So funny. This is the difference. 1574 01:14:21,360 --> 01:14:23,440 Like I, I, I noticed subtle differences sometimes 1575 01:14:23,440 --> 01:14:25,280 culturally. So we shot the movie in Serbia, 1576 01:14:25,280 --> 01:14:28,960 which was a socialist country for a long time, borderline 1577 01:14:28,960 --> 01:14:31,600 communist, but not communist because Tito, but very 1578 01:14:31,600 --> 01:14:33,600 socialist. And the socialist mentality is, 1579 01:14:33,960 --> 01:14:36,840 is just get it done. Like, just get it done. 1580 01:14:37,520 --> 01:14:40,200 Halfway through production, I noticed that they're cutting my 1581 01:14:40,200 --> 01:14:42,440 beard weird. And they're cutting my hair 1582 01:14:42,440 --> 01:14:43,560 weird. They're parting my hair to the 1583 01:14:43,560 --> 01:14:45,720 side. And I said, that's so funny. 1584 01:14:45,800 --> 01:14:49,120 Have you noticed that? My, my hair is getting your, It 1585 01:14:49,120 --> 01:14:50,400 feels like you're cutting it shorter. 1586 01:14:50,400 --> 01:14:53,280 My beard looks shorter. And they're like, yeah, we need 1587 01:14:53,280 --> 01:14:57,040 you to look like Kazumi. And I said, they go, he's your 1588 01:14:57,040 --> 01:14:59,640 stunt double. And I said, oh, And then I went, 1589 01:14:59,640 --> 01:15:01,280 wait, no, he's supposed to look like me. 1590 01:15:01,720 --> 01:15:05,280 And they go, it's just easier for you to look like him because 1591 01:15:05,320 --> 01:15:08,000 it we can, we can't grow his hair out, but we can trim your 1592 01:15:08,000 --> 01:15:10,080 back. And I went, you know, I'm the 1593 01:15:10,080 --> 01:15:12,880 one in the fucking movie. Like it matters what I look 1594 01:15:12,880 --> 01:15:15,360 like. And they're like, it's easier to 1595 01:15:15,360 --> 01:15:17,960 get you look like Kazumi. So I mean, they would do things 1596 01:15:17,960 --> 01:15:20,560 where you I put on the clothes one day and I was like, I was 1597 01:15:20,560 --> 01:15:23,480 like, these don't fit at all. And they're like, you've gained 1598 01:15:23,480 --> 01:15:25,600 weight. And I was like, no, but not that 1599 01:15:25,600 --> 01:15:28,440 much like from yesterday. And they're like, you've gained 1600 01:15:28,440 --> 01:15:30,600 a lot of weight. I put my shoes on and I go, my 1601 01:15:30,600 --> 01:15:32,720 shoes are tight and they're like, yeah, you're bloated. 1602 01:15:33,160 --> 01:15:35,000 And I go, no, my feet don't gain weight, though. 1603 01:15:35,000 --> 01:15:36,800 Even when I'm blown, my feet don't gain weight. 1604 01:15:36,800 --> 01:15:38,680 And they're like, you've gotten very overweight. 1605 01:15:38,840 --> 01:15:43,680 We do a whole shoot in this outfit and then Kazumi comes out 1606 01:15:44,160 --> 01:15:48,920 and he's swimming in his clothes and I go, I go, you lose weight. 1607 01:15:48,920 --> 01:15:51,080 And he goes, no, I think they switched our clothes. 1608 01:15:52,320 --> 01:15:54,560 So I did a whole. Day shoot, I look disgusting. 1609 01:15:54,560 --> 01:15:59,080 In his clothes. So we go to do the scene of me 1610 01:15:59,080 --> 01:16:01,480 going down a flight of stairs and I'm like, I'm going to do 1611 01:16:01,480 --> 01:16:03,280 it. And the first thing my producer 1612 01:16:03,280 --> 01:16:06,400 says is no, you're not. And I go, no, I mean, he goes 1613 01:16:06,520 --> 01:16:10,720 the majority of incidents that where we have problems with 1614 01:16:10,720 --> 01:16:11,840 people going down a flight of stairs. 1615 01:16:11,960 --> 01:16:13,440 You are not going down a flight of stairs. 1616 01:16:13,440 --> 01:16:16,560 And I was like, I go, I can't imagine. 1617 01:16:16,560 --> 01:16:19,040 It's that fucking. Hard I won't go that fast. 1618 01:16:19,040 --> 01:16:23,120 He goes, it gets away from you, and so I go, I think I'll do it. 1619 01:16:23,800 --> 01:16:30,760 So I, I do the I, they break up the scene where that you do the 1620 01:16:30,760 --> 01:16:34,000 first fall and they catch you, then you do the second fall like 1621 01:16:34,000 --> 01:16:36,400 so you do the fall onto the stairs, then you do the fall off 1622 01:16:36,400 --> 01:16:38,680 the stairs, and then you do a full fall down the stairs. 1623 01:16:39,240 --> 01:16:42,640 So I do the first. Fall. 1624 01:16:43,200 --> 01:16:47,400 Down the stairs and I go really fucking hard and, and because I 1625 01:16:47,400 --> 01:16:51,120 don't know speeds and so I go really hard and I go flying and 1626 01:16:51,120 --> 01:16:52,160 it looks great. And they're like, that's 1627 01:16:52,160 --> 01:16:53,240 awesome. I was like, guys, it's a little 1628 01:16:53,240 --> 01:16:55,600 bit harder this time. I do this thing a fall and I 1629 01:16:55,600 --> 01:16:58,000 fucking miss my blocking and I start falling down the flight of 1630 01:16:58,000 --> 01:17:00,440 stairs and I realise, oh, it does speed up. 1631 01:17:00,440 --> 01:17:02,760 Like it doesn't like I thought you could control it. 1632 01:17:02,760 --> 01:17:05,320 You have no fucking control. They catch me and I go all 1633 01:17:05,320 --> 01:17:07,640 right, we're fine. We do the second fall where we 1634 01:17:07,640 --> 01:17:10,640 go down the stairs and and I'm like and and they're like just 1635 01:17:10,640 --> 01:17:13,120 go up like 6 stairs and go down. And I was like 6 stairs. 1636 01:17:13,120 --> 01:17:15,040 Doesn't look, I'm going to go up like 10 stairs and they're like 1637 01:17:15,040 --> 01:17:16,840 that's half the flight and I go it'll be fine. 1638 01:17:17,280 --> 01:17:19,960 We go down half the flight of stairs and I fucking hit my head 1639 01:17:19,960 --> 01:17:24,320 so fucking hard and I was like oh OK, I'm not going down the 1640 01:17:24,320 --> 01:17:25,800 full flight. And they're like no shit. 1641 01:17:26,000 --> 01:17:27,920 Kazumi goes down the flight of stairs. 1642 01:17:28,080 --> 01:17:30,880 Just Lance stands up and. He goes. 1643 01:17:30,880 --> 01:17:33,400 I got to do one more time. And we're like, fuck, that guy 1644 01:17:33,400 --> 01:17:36,080 was bad. But I blew out my hand, my arms. 1645 01:17:36,240 --> 01:17:39,840 So I had to tackle my my the villain and take him down a 1646 01:17:39,840 --> 01:17:41,800 flight of stairs. And as soon as I tackled him, I 1647 01:17:41,800 --> 01:17:45,520 popped all my tendons in my elbow and ripped my tricep off. 1648 01:17:45,560 --> 01:17:47,160 And as soon as that happened, I was like, all right, I'm done. 1649 01:17:47,160 --> 01:17:48,600 I'm never doing another stunt again. 1650 01:17:49,720 --> 01:17:52,280 Battle of the Bone too. Yeah, Kazumi lead. 1651 01:17:53,040 --> 01:17:59,920 Kazumi was the funniest. The fun, The funniest dude, the 1652 01:17:59,920 --> 01:18:01,680 funniest stuntman. Because he didn't know anything. 1653 01:18:01,680 --> 01:18:06,960 About me. So they would go, all right, 1654 01:18:07,480 --> 01:18:10,880 Kazumi, because you know, you block out stunts. 1655 01:18:11,080 --> 01:18:13,640 They're like, Kazumi, I'll show you what you're supposed to do. 1656 01:18:13,880 --> 01:18:16,080 And he's English wasn't great. They're like, he'll show you 1657 01:18:16,080 --> 01:18:17,960 what you're he'll block it out for you and show you what the 1658 01:18:17,960 --> 01:18:20,480 fight sequence looks like or the the stunt looks like. 1659 01:18:20,920 --> 01:18:27,320 And and so Kazumi do it and he would go, hello father, I am fat 1660 01:18:27,320 --> 01:18:29,600 and drunk. I am big fat. 1661 01:18:29,840 --> 01:18:33,400 Bert, where are you father? And I was like, is that the 1662 01:18:33,400 --> 01:18:35,160 fucking lines? Or like he's not great with 1663 01:18:35,160 --> 01:18:37,000 English. And I was like, OK, and you go, 1664 01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:40,840 I am fat, tub of shit, tub of shit, fat guy. 1665 01:18:41,240 --> 01:18:43,320 Where is my father? I love you. 1666 01:18:43,320 --> 01:18:47,320 Father and I was like, is he who's teaching him these lines? 1667 01:18:47,320 --> 01:18:50,600 And they're like, well, we just got a paraphrase for Kazumi. 1668 01:18:50,880 --> 01:18:54,520 And then he'd be like, oh, I'm so fat, I have diarrhoea and I'm 1669 01:18:54,520 --> 01:18:57,520 like, wait, are you guys like who's feeding him these fucking 1670 01:18:57,520 --> 01:18:59,640 lines? We would laugh and listening 1671 01:18:59,640 --> 01:19:03,200 Kazumi, I wish I had footage of it. 1672 01:19:03,200 --> 01:19:06,640 We were we would film him and cry laughing at his. 1673 01:19:06,840 --> 01:19:09,080 And he wasn't trying to be funny at all. 1674 01:19:09,360 --> 01:19:11,240 He was just. But man, he did. 1675 01:19:11,800 --> 01:19:13,400 He did some great shit. He's the man. 1676 01:19:13,480 --> 01:19:16,000 But then you realise some doubles are fucking awesome. 1677 01:19:16,000 --> 01:19:19,280 Yeah, they're fucking legit. I know you got to go because you 1678 01:19:19,280 --> 01:19:20,400 literally got to. Go on stage. 1679 01:19:20,400 --> 01:19:23,000 So I just want to ask the show yet, OK? 1680 01:19:23,120 --> 01:19:25,640 OK, I take a shit. I got to ask you this quick 1681 01:19:25,640 --> 01:19:28,560 thing. I, when I did my tour of the 1682 01:19:28,560 --> 01:19:32,800 States last year, I did maybe like 6-7 cities shot at all. 1683 01:19:33,040 --> 01:19:35,760 And I'm going to release that as like a special, like a little 1684 01:19:35,760 --> 01:19:38,280 bit from this city, that city as like one set. 1685 01:19:39,080 --> 01:19:41,480 What in your opinion, what I do with that? 1686 01:19:42,120 --> 01:19:44,600 Just do I put that on YouTube? Do I? 1687 01:19:44,800 --> 01:19:46,240 I put everything on YouTube right now. 1688 01:19:46,680 --> 01:19:48,800 I mean, it seems to me that that's where everyone's finding 1689 01:19:48,800 --> 01:19:51,440 their content. And, you know, I, I, I know I'm 1690 01:19:51,440 --> 01:19:53,520 on YouTube a lot, always looking for stuff. 1691 01:19:54,120 --> 01:19:56,080 I mean, it's where I get all my documentaries. 1692 01:19:56,160 --> 01:19:58,560 Like it's like, I, I mean, I watch everything on YouTube. 1693 01:19:58,560 --> 01:20:01,480 So I, I would put it on, I would personally put it on YouTube 1694 01:20:01,480 --> 01:20:03,040 because I feel like that's where everyone's landing. 1695 01:20:03,040 --> 01:20:04,560 I want as many people to see it as possible. 1696 01:20:04,880 --> 01:20:06,960 Because it's like from all the American shows, I'm going to 1697 01:20:06,960 --> 01:20:08,600 call it she and Todd all American. 1698 01:20:09,640 --> 01:20:10,880 It's great. Like it. 1699 01:20:10,960 --> 01:20:11,680 I love it. I. 1700 01:20:11,680 --> 01:20:12,920 Love all American. Yeah, it's going. 1701 01:20:13,000 --> 01:20:16,200 To be a little confusing with the Irish accent because you 1702 01:20:16,200 --> 01:20:17,600 will get a lot of the red states going. 1703 01:20:17,600 --> 01:20:21,520 Yeah, that's what I want to see. Just some good, clean, no 1704 01:20:21,520 --> 01:20:24,920 immigrant, no immigrant. Look at this kid born in this 1705 01:20:24,920 --> 01:20:26,720 country and they're like, what the fuck? 1706 01:20:26,880 --> 01:20:29,200 I think he was born with half. A tongue? 1707 01:20:29,520 --> 01:20:31,440 Why? Is he talking like that? 1708 01:20:32,000 --> 01:20:33,280 I don't know what brilliant means. 1709 01:20:33,280 --> 01:20:34,840 He's using brilliant way too much. 1710 01:20:35,200 --> 01:20:37,840 He just called her a cunt. You can't say cunt. 1711 01:20:38,760 --> 01:20:42,320 That's my wife's family. The the I what was the joke? 1712 01:20:42,320 --> 01:20:44,440 I just wrote a joke. Oh, I'm trying to write a joke 1713 01:20:44,440 --> 01:20:51,120 about about. How dangerous. 1714 01:20:52,120 --> 01:20:55,840 The Florida was where I grew up was versus like Germany. 1715 01:20:55,840 --> 01:21:00,120 They have no predators. I just, I don't mind. 1716 01:21:00,120 --> 01:21:01,440 You were talking. I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, 1717 01:21:01,440 --> 01:21:02,280 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1718 01:21:02,280 --> 01:21:04,400 Did you guys have predators up here like wolves or anything? 1719 01:21:04,400 --> 01:21:06,400 Just like a friend of my uncle, but like. 1720 01:21:07,400 --> 01:21:09,080 Yeah, the most you could do. Is get molested? 1721 01:21:09,360 --> 01:21:10,720 I one time was telling someone a story. 1722 01:21:10,720 --> 01:21:13,520 We were running a half marathon, me and Jim Florentine, and we 1723 01:21:13,520 --> 01:21:16,000 were talking about concussions. In the middle of telling him my 1724 01:21:16,000 --> 01:21:19,640 story, realised I was molested. Like I was telling the story. 1725 01:21:19,640 --> 01:21:21,880 And I was like, we were jogging in 1/2 marathon. 1726 01:21:21,880 --> 01:21:26,920 Me, this guy Galvin and and, and Jim Florentine were jogging real 1727 01:21:26,920 --> 01:21:28,400 slow. And they're like, do you ever 1728 01:21:28,400 --> 01:21:30,040 get a concussion? And I was like, yeah, I got, I 1729 01:21:30,040 --> 01:21:31,800 got a really bad one at basketball camp and they're 1730 01:21:31,800 --> 01:21:34,400 like, how bad? And I was like, they had to wake 1731 01:21:34,400 --> 01:21:37,400 me up every 30 minutes. And they're like customary. 1732 01:21:37,400 --> 01:21:39,680 And I go and check my testicles. They're like, what? 1733 01:21:40,240 --> 01:21:42,680 I go, yeah, the priest would take turns coming in and waking 1734 01:21:42,680 --> 01:21:47,280 me up and checking my testicles. And they're like, and what's 1735 01:21:47,280 --> 01:21:49,960 funny in in this story is that they stopped jogging and I kept 1736 01:21:49,960 --> 01:21:51,760 jogging. And I went, hey, what are you 1737 01:21:51,760 --> 01:21:53,400 guys doing? And they're both frozen. 1738 01:21:53,400 --> 01:21:55,400 And they're like, are you joking? 1739 01:21:55,400 --> 01:21:57,480 And I said no. And they're like, I think you 1740 01:21:57,480 --> 01:21:59,360 were molested. And I went no, no, no, no. 1741 01:21:59,760 --> 01:22:01,800 That's how you have to do that. It's like a physical. 1742 01:22:01,800 --> 01:22:04,680 They check your testicles. And then in my head I was like, 1743 01:22:04,680 --> 01:22:07,840 yeah, wait, that doesn't seem like pro concussion protocol. 1744 01:22:08,280 --> 01:22:10,440 And they're like, no, no, no, you were molested. 1745 01:22:10,880 --> 01:22:12,360 And then they were like, and how many priests? 1746 01:22:12,360 --> 01:22:15,560 I was like, I don't know. They took turns and I was like, 1747 01:22:15,560 --> 01:22:17,440 wait. And then they were like, and you 1748 01:22:17,440 --> 01:22:19,840 have no trauma from this. And I was like, I thought I was 1749 01:22:20,600 --> 01:22:24,360 what you did for a concussion. And then they were like, oh, my 1750 01:22:24,360 --> 01:22:26,160 God, you had to check theirs, too. 1751 01:22:26,440 --> 01:22:28,200 Yeah, I was like. And then and then and then I was 1752 01:22:28,200 --> 01:22:29,280 like. And then all of a sudden the 1753 01:22:29,280 --> 01:22:32,120 realisation of, yeah, it doesn't seem like something you do. 1754 01:22:32,120 --> 01:22:36,080 Freaking and I'm fucking 44, jogging and a half marathon 1755 01:22:36,080 --> 01:22:37,880 going. Yeah, that does seem fucking 1756 01:22:37,880 --> 01:22:42,560 odd. Yeah, that's what I mean. 1757 01:22:42,560 --> 01:22:43,520 I. Wanted to get to do as many 1758 01:22:43,520 --> 01:22:45,480 people as possible so I think that's what I'm going to do all 1759 01:22:45,480 --> 01:22:48,640 American and it's. Clubs in America like they look. 1760 01:22:48,640 --> 01:22:50,880 So good because like people like, what did you do? 1761 01:22:50,880 --> 01:22:52,520 What clubs? I did the ones. 1762 01:22:52,520 --> 01:22:55,000 That you'll see in the special. Would be Cobs in San Francisco. 1763 01:22:55,240 --> 01:22:57,040 That's beautiful. The improv where? 1764 01:22:57,080 --> 01:22:59,720 Small. Hollywood Small room in the lab, 1765 01:23:00,280 --> 01:23:01,800 The Stand in New York. Yeah. 1766 01:23:01,960 --> 01:23:05,760 And Zeni, Chicago. It's 33 great clubs. 1767 01:23:05,760 --> 01:23:08,000 Because I like I did the place called the ground operation. 1768 01:23:08,000 --> 01:23:11,520 Belfast film like 5 shows, 5 cameras. 1769 01:23:11,520 --> 01:23:13,600 That's fucking so much into it. And then? 1770 01:23:13,600 --> 01:23:15,840 Went to the states. It was like let's bring 1 camera 1771 01:23:16,000 --> 01:23:18,640 all the venues there have. We don't have multi camera HD 1772 01:23:18,640 --> 01:23:21,400 setups and I was like fuck the Albright stuff. 1773 01:23:22,440 --> 01:23:26,760 People like from where I'm from, like we don't Belfast dump seems 1774 01:23:26,760 --> 01:23:30,200 unbelievable, but like no one's really done like the States and 1775 01:23:30,200 --> 01:23:33,000 the clubs and the tour there. So I thought that that's more 1776 01:23:33,000 --> 01:23:34,360 interesting, I think for a viewer. 1777 01:23:34,640 --> 01:23:36,520 I think so. I mean, I mean, there's. 1778 01:23:36,520 --> 01:23:39,360 There's something there's stand up is moving at such a fucking 1779 01:23:39,360 --> 01:23:41,880 rapid pace. I find a hard time keeping up 1780 01:23:41,880 --> 01:23:44,880 with what everyone's doing on such big fucking scales. 1781 01:23:44,880 --> 01:23:51,120 I mean, you look at like to my friends who I mean literally the 1782 01:23:51,120 --> 01:23:56,120 last time they'll be opening for me ever is in February 8th, 9th, 1783 01:23:56,120 --> 01:23:59,400 10th and 11th, Shane Gillis and Mark Normand, both on the pod. 1784 01:23:59,520 --> 01:24:00,800 Yeah, they've done. They've done this. 1785 01:24:00,960 --> 01:24:04,640 Oh yeah, And so I mean. They both put out YouTube 1786 01:24:04,640 --> 01:24:08,720 specials and now they're so big. I mean, and I like, listen, I 1787 01:24:08,720 --> 01:24:11,960 obviously I think it's very clear I can sell tickets, but 1788 01:24:11,960 --> 01:24:17,600 we're doing 4 arena shows and I'm almost, almost 100% certain 1789 01:24:17,840 --> 01:24:20,280 they've sold out two of them for me. 1790 01:24:20,360 --> 01:24:22,880 Like they like just adding them to the, the list. 1791 01:24:23,360 --> 01:24:26,240 And it's, it's, it's why like I said to my wife, I was like, we 1792 01:24:26,240 --> 01:24:28,680 need to get, it's a Super Bowl that weekend. 1793 01:24:29,280 --> 01:24:31,720 And I was like, and I'm paying them like I would if they're, 1794 01:24:31,840 --> 01:24:34,880 they're featuring and you know, I'm getting the lion's share of 1795 01:24:34,880 --> 01:24:36,920 the money because it's, you know, my name, I'm promoting it. 1796 01:24:36,920 --> 01:24:39,760 I'm I'm the one closing it. I have to follow these two 1797 01:24:39,760 --> 01:24:45,000 fucking savages. And and I was like I said to my 1798 01:24:45,000 --> 01:24:47,360 wife, my wife's like you got to give them. 1799 01:24:47,440 --> 01:24:51,080 I mean, no one does 4 arena shows at my level is not that's 1800 01:24:51,080 --> 01:24:54,960 not normal. You know, it's like I do in A1 1801 01:24:55,240 --> 01:24:59,360 arena show, that's it. I'll do 1-2 and we did 2IN 1802 01:24:59,360 --> 01:25:01,280 Alaska. It's because it's Alaska was the 1803 01:25:01,280 --> 01:25:03,640 only thing coming, right. That makes sense, right? 1804 01:25:05,360 --> 01:25:09,600 You can do 2 some places, but fucking 4 is the next level. 1805 01:25:10,120 --> 01:25:13,360 And so as I got to buy him tickets to the fucking Super 1806 01:25:13,360 --> 01:25:15,960 Bowl, Yeah. And it's not cheap, those guys 1807 01:25:15,960 --> 01:25:19,640 and Joe List doing the YouTube. Thing, you know, I was like. 1808 01:25:19,720 --> 01:25:22,320 All right, that I didn't think. Of that, that, that everyone 1809 01:25:22,320 --> 01:25:23,360 wants to do that they're blowing up. 1810 01:25:23,360 --> 01:25:26,680 I mean Stavros is doing it. Schultz put out his special 12 1811 01:25:26,680 --> 01:25:29,120 million views. I can't wait to see the size 1812 01:25:29,120 --> 01:25:32,160 venues he does when he tours. I mean, he's going to be doing, 1813 01:25:32,160 --> 01:25:34,960 he'll be doing stadiums. I mean, he really with 12 1814 01:25:34,960 --> 01:25:38,040 million views on YouTube, he'll be doing. 1815 01:25:38,400 --> 01:25:40,120 Fucking. Actual stadiums. 1816 01:25:41,600 --> 01:25:43,280 It's interesting. It's interesting to me. 1817 01:25:43,280 --> 01:25:44,240 Excite. You know, we don't know what how 1818 01:25:44,240 --> 01:25:49,400 many views we get on Netflix. Yeah, but but I will say that I 1819 01:25:49,560 --> 01:25:53,160 probably am the luckiest individual in the fucking world 1820 01:25:53,560 --> 01:25:58,520 that my last special on Netflix came out three days after stay 1821 01:25:58,520 --> 01:26:00,440 at home orders. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1822 01:26:00,440 --> 01:26:02,360 Literally stay at home. Orders to happen on. 1823 01:26:02,720 --> 01:26:08,840 March 13th and 14th and my special came out March 17th and, 1824 01:26:08,880 --> 01:26:12,120 and I was like, I was like, not a bad time to put a special out 1825 01:26:12,120 --> 01:26:15,600 when, when the government says everyone needs to stay in their 1826 01:26:15,600 --> 01:26:17,680 house, yeah, don't leave your living room. 1827 01:26:17,680 --> 01:26:19,720 And they're like, oh, I wonder what's on TV. 1828 01:26:19,960 --> 01:26:21,680 Do you think I should hold my special back for a? 1829 01:26:21,680 --> 01:26:24,440 Pandemic, I would, I would sit on it, Ralphie May told me. 1830 01:26:24,680 --> 01:26:26,080 Pray for a snowstorm. That's what he said. 1831 01:26:26,600 --> 01:26:28,800 He goes, hey player, pray for a snowstorm. 1832 01:26:28,880 --> 01:26:31,280 I'll tell you right now, snowstorm doesn't shut down. 1833 01:26:31,280 --> 01:26:34,440 Power doesn't shut down. TV's just keeps them inside. 1834 01:26:34,600 --> 01:26:39,440 You better pray for a snowstorm N word does Ralphie. 1835 01:26:39,440 --> 01:26:42,840 And by the way. And so he was dead by the time 1836 01:26:42,840 --> 01:26:45,200 my special came out. But I would love to have told 1837 01:26:45,200 --> 01:26:49,600 him fuck a snowstorm dude. International pandemics. 1838 01:26:49,600 --> 01:26:52,240 Not bad business. Tom's came out the next week. 1839 01:26:52,360 --> 01:26:56,040 Me and Tom had the two of the biggest specials they've ever 1840 01:26:56,040 --> 01:26:59,760 put out because they were like, I mean, it shows you how bad of 1841 01:26:59,760 --> 01:27:02,480 comics we are is that we're not even close to Dave Chappelle, 1842 01:27:02,720 --> 01:27:05,600 but like the World Watch Star specials. 1843 01:27:05,600 --> 01:27:07,680 Oh yeah, I know you got to go, but next? 1844 01:27:07,680 --> 01:27:09,360 Time you tour, you got to do Belfast. 1845 01:27:09,360 --> 01:27:11,560 You don't know why I didn't do Belfast this time. 1846 01:27:12,120 --> 01:27:13,560 Your day off tomorrow, you'll do it tomorrow. 1847 01:27:14,320 --> 01:27:16,240 Yeah, we should put tickets on. Is there a comedy club I'd. 1848 01:27:16,240 --> 01:27:19,040 Do a fucking straight up just comedy club would you? 1849 01:27:19,400 --> 01:27:20,760 Where's the best? Where's the best point from? 1850 01:27:20,760 --> 01:27:24,400 Comedy scene in Apart from funeral in LA, what's what's 1851 01:27:24,400 --> 01:27:25,480 tomorrow? What day is tomorrow? 1852 01:27:26,000 --> 01:27:27,520 Saturday. Saturday we can. 1853 01:27:27,520 --> 01:27:30,960 I swear, right. We could do a show tomorrow 1854 01:27:30,960 --> 01:27:36,840 night in a great venue. Like, we could do a show and it 1855 01:27:36,840 --> 01:27:39,320 would be an unbelievable event, the place Kevin Hart played, and 1856 01:27:39,320 --> 01:27:42,880 it would, it would be, I don't know, maybe you can't do it, but 1857 01:27:42,880 --> 01:27:44,800 it would be. No, I remember the first time I 1858 01:27:44,800 --> 01:27:45,640 put tickets on. Sale. 1859 01:27:45,640 --> 01:27:47,160 I did a place called the Bill Murray. 1860 01:27:47,280 --> 01:27:48,440 Yeah. In London, Yeah. 1861 01:27:48,640 --> 01:27:49,680 It's a nice venue. Yeah. 1862 01:27:49,680 --> 01:27:51,680 And I was like I was. Like I wonder. 1863 01:27:51,680 --> 01:27:56,120 If I was just put her on sale, I'll announce it like a week 1864 01:27:56,120 --> 01:27:57,320 out. And I remember it was the first 1865 01:27:57,320 --> 01:27:59,720 time I I was like, I thought I was moving in the right 1866 01:27:59,720 --> 01:28:02,520 direction because it's sold out in like 30 minutes. 1867 01:28:02,520 --> 01:28:04,880 And I went whoa. And then I saw it's like 80 1868 01:28:04,880 --> 01:28:05,760 seats. Yeah. 1869 01:28:05,760 --> 01:28:06,920 I was like, OK, that makes sense. 1870 01:28:06,920 --> 01:28:08,080 But I was like, still like, yeah, yeah. 1871 01:28:08,080 --> 01:28:10,800 It turned out my whole trip to London to a business trip, Yeah. 1872 01:28:10,800 --> 01:28:13,800 I had a great set. My wife came and it was fucking 1873 01:28:13,800 --> 01:28:15,280 awesome. I love it over here. 1874 01:28:15,280 --> 01:28:16,560 I think it's great. I'll leave that. 1875 01:28:16,560 --> 01:28:18,120 Which Belfast is 19 minutes where? 1876 01:28:18,120 --> 01:28:20,280 You could do fucking Mountain A, We could do Mountain A tomorrow 1877 01:28:20,280 --> 01:28:22,560 and it would, it'd be huge. It would sell it. 1878 01:28:22,600 --> 01:28:24,520 We'd be hundreds of tickets. That'd be fun. 1879 01:28:24,520 --> 01:28:26,760 I would love to fucking I. Kind of feel like I need to work 1880 01:28:26,760 --> 01:28:29,320 out material. Well, that's a room. 1881 01:28:29,480 --> 01:28:30,080 That's a. Room. 1882 01:28:31,080 --> 01:28:35,360 Kevin Hart used to do that. That's fucking yeah. 1883 01:28:35,600 --> 01:28:38,200 Maybe we'll do that. I would love to fucking work out 1884 01:28:38,200 --> 01:28:41,760 some material and not these fucking the, I don't even know 1885 01:28:41,760 --> 01:28:43,960 how big the one we're doing tonight is, but these fucking 1886 01:28:43,960 --> 01:28:47,400 theatres are beautiful and it's hard to be, like, to fuck around 1887 01:28:47,400 --> 01:28:49,880 on stage in front of 3000 people. 1888 01:28:49,920 --> 01:28:51,480 Yeah, all right, I'm going to take a shit. 1889 01:28:51,480 --> 01:28:54,360 Yep, thank you for doing this. I said in the intro to this we 1890 01:28:54,360 --> 01:28:56,400 weren't here for and. I'm more excited to do an 1891 01:28:56,400 --> 01:28:57,720 episode. I'm a huge fan. 1892 01:28:57,720 --> 01:28:59,480 Oh, thank you. I really appreciate you. 1893 01:28:59,920 --> 01:29:03,200 Like in the venue doing this like I didn't, I didn't expect 1894 01:29:03,200 --> 01:29:05,680 you to agree to do this, but no, thank you so much. 1895 01:29:05,920 --> 01:29:07,800 Can I tell you? I said to someone. 1896 01:29:09,680 --> 01:29:11,560 This is going. To sound like egotistical. 1897 01:29:11,720 --> 01:29:14,600 But I said to someone, you reached out to me and you said 1898 01:29:14,600 --> 01:29:18,600 I'd love to do a podcast. The one of the things that I and 1899 01:29:18,600 --> 01:29:22,000 I get really excited about as a guy who has a podcast is when 1900 01:29:22,000 --> 01:29:24,520 you reach out to someone you want a podcast with and they go, 1901 01:29:24,520 --> 01:29:26,880 yeah, let's make it happen. David Spade did that for me. 1902 01:29:27,000 --> 01:29:30,160 Like David Spade. I'm a huge David Spade fan and I 1903 01:29:30,560 --> 01:29:33,320 and he, you know, I see him and stuff, but I was always nervous 1904 01:29:33,320 --> 01:29:37,240 to ask him to do my podcast. So I, I DM Ed him one night and 1905 01:29:37,240 --> 01:29:39,040 I was like, hey, man, I'd love to have you on my podcast. 1906 01:29:39,040 --> 01:29:41,400 And he went, yeah, let's do it. I'd love to do it. 1907 01:29:41,800 --> 01:29:43,480 He doesn't need to do it. He has nothing to promote. 1908 01:29:43,640 --> 01:29:46,560 He doesn't need to do it any other than really just letting 1909 01:29:46,560 --> 01:29:49,680 me fanboy on him and tell him that him and his group of comics 1910 01:29:49,680 --> 01:29:52,720 are the coolest dudes to ever do comedy, that they define my 1911 01:29:52,720 --> 01:29:57,600 sense of humour that like, I, I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm, you know, 1912 01:29:58,000 --> 01:30:00,520 it just, that was the thing. And I thought, like, I remember 1913 01:30:00,520 --> 01:30:03,160 when you hit me up, I thought, if, if at all I'm providing any 1914 01:30:03,160 --> 01:30:06,160 of that, then that's the coolest feeling as a podcaster is to get 1915 01:30:06,160 --> 01:30:07,840 the podcast with someone you want a podcast with. 1916 01:30:07,840 --> 01:30:09,280 Yeah. And so I was like, I was like, 1917 01:30:09,280 --> 01:30:12,960 if he wants to, then I want to, I used to be fucking aggressive 1918 01:30:12,960 --> 01:30:14,480 about it. Like, I would, people would hit 1919 01:30:14,480 --> 01:30:16,040 me up and they're like, hey, man, we have a podcast. 1920 01:30:16,040 --> 01:30:18,280 And I was like, let's do it. And you could tell they'd never 1921 01:30:18,280 --> 01:30:19,960 done a podcast before. And I was just hanging in the 1922 01:30:19,960 --> 01:30:21,760 room smoking weed in a dorm room. 1923 01:30:21,920 --> 01:30:23,400 Yeah. And I was like, and they're 1924 01:30:23,400 --> 01:30:26,200 like, do you wanna DMT? And I was like, no, I was like, 1925 01:30:26,200 --> 01:30:28,600 wait, what is this? And, and then I did one in 1926 01:30:28,600 --> 01:30:31,600 Edmonton. I did one in Edmonton. 1927 01:30:31,640 --> 01:30:34,920 And the guy had just found out he had genital warts. 1928 01:30:35,160 --> 01:30:38,320 And I was like, and he, he, it was like the, this is the very 1929 01:30:38,320 --> 01:30:40,960 beginning of podcasting. I drove to their apt. 1930 01:30:40,960 --> 01:30:43,560 I go to their apartment. We drink beers, we smoke a 1931 01:30:43,560 --> 01:30:44,920 joint. And the guy's like, I'm having a 1932 01:30:44,920 --> 01:30:46,400 rough day, man. And I went, really. 1933 01:30:46,400 --> 01:30:48,720 He goes, I think I got genital warts. 1934 01:30:49,280 --> 01:30:51,240 And I was like, I was like, everyone's got genital warts. 1935 01:30:51,240 --> 01:30:52,920 He goes for real? And I went, yeah. 1936 01:30:52,920 --> 01:30:54,760 And he goes, oh, you're making me feel so better. 1937 01:30:54,760 --> 01:30:59,600 I don't know what accent I'm doing, but yeah, yeah, no, I, I 1938 01:30:59,960 --> 01:31:01,960 appreciate it so much. No, I'm glad we did this and you 1939 01:31:01,960 --> 01:31:05,400 might have turned me on the. TI am, I've had two sips and I'm 1940 01:31:05,400 --> 01:31:08,040 buzzing Yeah, and I'm literally like a little of a great set. 1941 01:31:08,040 --> 01:31:09,560 You would have a great set anyway, but but. 1942 01:31:09,560 --> 01:31:11,160 This is that I'm going to be firing hot. 1943 01:31:11,160 --> 01:31:14,160 Like where the fuck? 'S Conor McGregor, yeah, Is he? 1944 01:31:14,160 --> 01:31:15,480 Is he? Popular here. 1945 01:31:16,000 --> 01:31:17,760 Some. Yeah, yeah. 1946 01:31:17,840 --> 01:31:20,640 He divides opinion. Yeah, it seems like because it's 1947 01:31:20,640 --> 01:31:23,400 like. It's like Hulk Hogan to us in 1948 01:31:23,400 --> 01:31:25,320 Florida. We're like the Hulkster, but 1949 01:31:25,880 --> 01:31:28,240 he's got some. Yeah, yeah. 1950 01:31:28,240 --> 01:31:32,120 He's not the perfect guy. He's not the perfect guy. 1951 01:31:35,240 --> 01:31:37,920 Hulk Hogan, baby. He let me tell you, that guy can 1952 01:31:37,920 --> 01:31:40,640 deliver a promo like no one's business. 1953 01:31:40,920 --> 01:31:43,880 I was fucking around with him. He we were doing a radio show 1954 01:31:44,080 --> 01:31:46,120 and actual Hulk Hogan, actual Hulk Hogan. 1955 01:31:46,120 --> 01:31:47,360 Yeah, we were doing. A radio show in. 1956 01:31:47,360 --> 01:31:51,640 Orlando and I was like Hulkster. I go, I fuck with my buddy Tom 1957 01:31:51,640 --> 01:31:53,600 all the time. I make fun of him for being fat. 1958 01:31:53,600 --> 01:31:55,080 We're doing this fat shaming thing. 1959 01:31:55,080 --> 01:31:57,760 Yeah, yeah, go can you if I put the camera on you, can you give 1960 01:31:57,760 --> 01:31:59,200 me goes? Sure thing, brother. 1961 01:31:59,600 --> 01:32:02,920 And so I got I have the camera and I cut him like you can find 1962 01:32:02,920 --> 01:32:05,400 this clip somewhere. I'm like, what's up Tommy? 1963 01:32:05,400 --> 01:32:07,680 I'm in Orlando. I'm having cold beers early in 1964 01:32:07,680 --> 01:32:09,400 the morning. I'm pretty good at promos like I 1965 01:32:09,400 --> 01:32:11,920 can roll them out and I go early in the morning and I'm with my 1966 01:32:11,920 --> 01:32:14,360 training partner in that right Hulk and Hulk grabs the phone. 1967 01:32:14,360 --> 01:32:17,120 He goes let me tell you something to titty Tommy and he 1968 01:32:17,120 --> 01:32:20,440 just fucking you got 90 inch guns running down on you. 1969 01:32:20,640 --> 01:32:22,720 Me and the machine are going to come after you. 1970 01:32:23,040 --> 01:32:26,560 Yeah, what are you going to do to like, he was so fucking good 1971 01:32:26,560 --> 01:32:28,960 that I went, I got done and I was like, that guy's got him in 1972 01:32:28,960 --> 01:32:32,080 his pocket. He was fucking awesome. 1973 01:32:32,200 --> 01:32:34,680 And then Tom's like, did you? Is that really Hulk Hogan? 1974 01:32:34,800 --> 01:32:38,560 I was like, if it isn't, I have the best imposter ever. 1975 01:32:38,560 --> 01:32:42,440 Yeah, I'm going to convert in. Comedians Charity Boxing in Four 1976 01:32:42,440 --> 01:32:44,400 weeks in the Ulster Hall in Belfast. 1977 01:32:44,600 --> 01:32:46,480 And I got to get inside my opponent's head. 1978 01:32:46,480 --> 01:32:48,360 So I need, I need to track down the whole who's your opponent 1979 01:32:48,760 --> 01:32:50,400 guy called Johnny Bo. You want to come? 1980 01:32:50,400 --> 01:32:51,240 You want. To come a bitch? 1981 01:32:51,760 --> 01:32:53,840 No, he might knock. Me out? 1982 01:32:53,840 --> 01:32:55,160 No, he won't. He won't. 1983 01:32:56,200 --> 01:32:58,960 I can't fight, neither can I. Neither can he. 1984 01:32:58,960 --> 01:33:00,200 Neither. Can any of the comedians on the 1985 01:33:00,200 --> 01:33:01,960 bill? But it's for charity, That's 1986 01:33:01,960 --> 01:33:03,720 what charity are you doing. It's. 1987 01:33:03,720 --> 01:33:06,760 For pips, it's like a. Charity in Belfast, OK, it's 1988 01:33:06,760 --> 01:33:07,800 going to be, it's going to be good. 1989 01:33:07,800 --> 01:33:10,440 Everyone taking a massive like to be honest, coming down from 1990 01:33:10,440 --> 01:33:12,920 Dublin today that I see this is taking a break from camp. 1991 01:33:13,040 --> 01:33:15,120 Here's my problem with charity. I don't get to see the payoff. 1992 01:33:15,120 --> 01:33:18,200 Like I want to see the look on the kids face when you feed them 1993 01:33:18,200 --> 01:33:20,400 for the first time. I want to like, I want give me 1994 01:33:20,400 --> 01:33:23,520 video like right. Hey, Bert, this is Saint Jude's. 1995 01:33:23,520 --> 01:33:26,720 Just, you know, he's walking like or something. 1996 01:33:26,920 --> 01:33:29,040 I want to see the payoff. And that's that's my hard time. 1997 01:33:29,320 --> 01:33:33,080 I let the only charity I I I I donate to Saint Jude's, although 1998 01:33:33,080 --> 01:33:36,280 they've been assholes to me. What what is that? 1999 01:33:36,280 --> 01:33:38,360 Sorry, I tried Saint Jude's. It's. 2000 01:33:39,200 --> 01:33:42,440 Well, Saint Jude's one of my medals I wear, but it's Danny. 2001 01:33:42,720 --> 01:33:46,480 Danny, what's you gonna call it? Set it up and it's it's for it's 2002 01:33:46,880 --> 01:33:49,240 for kids. It's for kids, so they don't 2003 01:33:49,240 --> 01:33:51,640 really need my money because like everyone donates to them. 2004 01:33:51,640 --> 01:33:54,360 So like every time I donate, I don't get like a thank you or 2005 01:33:54,360 --> 01:33:57,680 anything from the kids. No, but I don't need it from 2006 01:33:57,680 --> 01:33:59,200 them. But like, then I was going to 2007 01:33:59,200 --> 01:34:01,280 donate some money and they were like, Nah. 2008 01:34:01,280 --> 01:34:04,040 And I was like, what? They're like, you get it from 2009 01:34:04,040 --> 01:34:06,040 like you're getting into bars. We don't want it. 2010 01:34:06,560 --> 01:34:09,240 And I was like, is it the doorman from the London comedy? 2011 01:34:09,240 --> 01:34:12,200 Store could be, it could be. By the way, I'll. 2012 01:34:12,200 --> 01:34:14,000 Never perform there. That guy's waiting for me. 2013 01:34:14,320 --> 01:34:18,040 He's like, hello bro, it's me again. 2014 01:34:18,880 --> 01:34:21,640 Name's still not on the list. All you needed was a few steps 2015 01:34:21,640 --> 01:34:23,720 to tea in that accent. Just spot on for the first time 2016 01:34:23,720 --> 01:34:25,520 you did it. I can't wait to get my Irish 2017 01:34:25,520 --> 01:34:26,480 accent. Hello. 2018 01:34:27,720 --> 01:34:29,840 Nope, that's not it. You got to find an accent. 2019 01:34:29,960 --> 01:34:33,360 Finding an accent, finding an accent for me is like finding 2020 01:34:33,360 --> 01:34:35,560 the pussy in 7th grade. Do you remember when you were 2021 01:34:35,560 --> 01:34:38,040 like, you were like I it's got to be near the belly button, 2022 01:34:38,040 --> 01:34:39,680 right? And then you're like, wait, 2023 01:34:39,760 --> 01:34:41,800 whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm going around the corner. 2024 01:34:41,800 --> 01:34:44,760 Where the fuck is this thing? It was so much lower than you 2025 01:34:44,760 --> 01:34:46,720 thought it was. I remember trying to push 2026 01:34:46,760 --> 01:34:48,760 through her pubis going that's for Jerry. 2027 01:34:48,840 --> 01:34:50,640 That's true, Terry. It's got to be in the middle of 2028 01:34:50,640 --> 01:34:52,920 all the hair. And then I was like, it's under 2029 01:34:52,960 --> 01:34:54,200 is. I was like, am I in her asshole? 2030 01:34:55,840 --> 01:34:58,880 You find my accent weird? No, I. 2031 01:34:59,320 --> 01:35:01,680 Can I tell I find it very comforting? 2032 01:35:01,880 --> 01:35:04,480 OK, I find Irish accents very comforting. 2033 01:35:06,000 --> 01:35:08,480 I can get lost in the British accent, like I can get lost 2034 01:35:08,480 --> 01:35:10,640 listening to them. So I just that kind of like go. 2035 01:35:10,880 --> 01:35:13,920 I like dream. The Australian accent scares me 2036 01:35:13,920 --> 01:35:18,440 a little bit. German accent terrifies me on 2037 01:35:18,440 --> 01:35:24,200 the 9:00. And then my favourite accent is 2038 01:35:24,200 --> 01:35:29,840 probably like the North Carolina rich older man, right? 2039 01:35:29,920 --> 01:35:33,600 Who like dresses fine, but he's overweight and he wears his belt 2040 01:35:33,600 --> 01:35:36,560 above his belly button and you think he's, you can't tell if 2041 01:35:36,560 --> 01:35:41,840 he's gay because of his accent. He's like, boy, boy, come here. 2042 01:35:41,840 --> 01:35:45,680 Though. I, I was wondering, do you, do 2043 01:35:45,680 --> 01:35:48,560 you know what a mint julep is? Because this does not taste like 2044 01:35:48,560 --> 01:35:52,640 a mint julep. My my buddy's dad was, was that 2045 01:35:52,640 --> 01:35:55,960 guy and you boys. Going to get in the pool today. 2046 01:35:56,960 --> 01:35:59,240 And you're like, your dad wants to go swimming with us. 2047 01:35:59,240 --> 01:36:01,720 And he's like, no, he's just, he wants to drink. 2048 01:36:01,720 --> 01:36:03,160 He don't want to make sure no one drowns. 2049 01:36:03,160 --> 01:36:05,760 We're like, Are you sure that's why he watches us swim? 2050 01:36:07,920 --> 01:36:10,560 Bird, how's your daddy? My daddy? 2051 01:36:11,720 --> 01:36:13,520 Your daddy is. Your daddy still. 2052 01:36:14,440 --> 01:36:18,320 Doing the law, I don't know, in North Temple. 2053 01:36:18,840 --> 01:36:21,320 That's an interesting accent. I love that one. 2054 01:36:21,320 --> 01:36:25,720 I like that my wife's accent. I do her accent on my special 2055 01:36:25,800 --> 01:36:34,880 because I just trash her. What's a good the I mean, I I've 2056 01:36:35,360 --> 01:36:37,280 the Minnesota, the Canadian accent. 2057 01:36:37,280 --> 01:36:39,400 I fucking love. It's just so trusting. 2058 01:36:39,400 --> 01:36:41,320 Yeah, I did Toronto for the first time and. 2059 01:36:42,040 --> 01:36:44,720 April there the sexiest accents Montreal. 2060 01:36:44,840 --> 01:36:46,840 Is it? Yeah, they sound like they sound 2061 01:36:46,840 --> 01:36:51,200 like Pinky Tuscadero. Yeah, Pinky Tuscadero was Fonzie 2062 01:36:51,240 --> 01:36:56,120 girlfriend and Happy Days, and she had this real weird way to 2063 01:36:56,120 --> 01:37:00,560 talk fancy, you know, And like Montreal is like this weird 2064 01:37:00,840 --> 01:37:03,400 'cause they're a little bit of French, but they they also have 2065 01:37:03,400 --> 01:37:05,800 the action like this. I don't know. 2066 01:37:06,280 --> 01:37:07,920 And it's like, what the fuck is this? 2067 01:37:08,120 --> 01:37:11,400 There was a chick who was on the Travel Channel or Food Network 2068 01:37:11,560 --> 01:37:16,280 who had that accent and she was so fucking. 2069 01:37:16,280 --> 01:37:19,280 Hot, I watched. All the male Travel Channel and 2070 01:37:19,920 --> 01:37:24,960 and every male at this upfront meet her and be smitten with her 2071 01:37:25,240 --> 01:37:28,960 immediately, immediately. And then in the same breath, 2072 01:37:28,960 --> 01:37:31,160 there was a thing called the about these farmers, these kids 2073 01:37:31,160 --> 01:37:34,480 that were all farmers, seven of them, they had seven family 2074 01:37:34,480 --> 01:37:35,880 members. They all ran a farm and they 2075 01:37:35,880 --> 01:37:38,400 they were doing a show for Great American Country. 2076 01:37:38,600 --> 01:37:41,000 And I remember shaking a hand with a farmer. 2077 01:37:41,000 --> 01:37:43,240 Have you ever shaken hands with a guy that works with his hands 2078 01:37:43,240 --> 01:37:47,040 all day? And it was the most calloused 2079 01:37:47,040 --> 01:37:50,440 hands that I've ever seen in my life. 2080 01:37:50,760 --> 01:37:52,480 I have a joke. I had a joke about it. 2081 01:37:52,920 --> 01:37:54,120 His his. I go. 2082 01:37:54,120 --> 01:37:58,280 You can't jerk off His his hands are the texture of dog paws like 2083 01:37:58,880 --> 01:38:01,000 and so. But he he was gorgeous. 2084 01:38:01,000 --> 01:38:02,800 Everyone immediately was like that fucking guy. 2085 01:38:02,800 --> 01:38:05,240 All right, I got to go. OK, All right, I'm going to take 2086 01:38:05,240 --> 01:38:06,440 a shit. I might enjoy it. 2087 01:38:06,440 --> 01:38:07,800 Thank you so much. Thank you, brother. 2088 01:38:07,800 --> 01:38:08,680 Really. Appreciate it. 2089 01:38:08,840 --> 01:38:10,360 I appreciate it. You're on the team now. 2090 01:38:10,360 --> 01:38:11,720 I. Fucking love it I. 2091 01:38:11,720 --> 01:38:12,800 Might get a cup of tea before I go. 2092 01:38:12,800 --> 01:38:14,000 Out on stage? Easy, easy, easy. 2093 01:38:15,640 --> 01:38:17,200 What you say you're my mom? Are you my mom? 2094 01:38:17,440 --> 01:38:19,000 So you're my mom, you're my mom, right? 2095 01:38:19,160 --> 01:38:20,440 I I love you. I love you. 2096 01:38:20,600 --> 01:38:21,920 How you go there? Cheers your. 2097 01:38:23,360 --> 01:38:23,760 Brother, cheers.