We're back, folks. We're back.
Second intro was a bit unnecessary.
Yeah, Fausty and Dan look like like the first ever Daft Punk,
first ever Daft Punk cake where they just haven't worked it out
yet because you're just don't like they haven't got the helmet
yet or anything with the the big goggles and it's just like
Knuckle. Working make it.
Sorry guys, give us 2 minutes here around.
That talk amongst yourselves here just playing YouTube
videos. Any other crack tomorrow?
Oogie, oogie, Oogie. Folks, welcome along to this
Daily Brew episode. This is this is a penultimate
show. We've been live all week ahead
of the SSE Arena 23rd of May. And look, you can tell we're
getting towards the end of this. Yeah, I'm wearing a hat.
I know how I look in hats. Yeah, I don't need to be told in
the comment section. I'm aware.
But the other because I need a haircut today, so I've dry her.
So the other option it's either a hot or just dry her.
And how do you think you look in hats?
I think I look like there should be someone with me helping me
out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just don't look. I look like I'm recovering from
something that you probably, we all know I probably won't
actually recover from. Yeah, me and you when you are
hot, me and you look like we could be in a live action King
of the Hill like I'd be Hank Hell, yours we meet.
Are you the dad of the son? Oh.
I could be the son. I'd be the body.
You have the body of body. Kieran is the speed of Bobby
Hill, yes, and if I could stick on some glasses.
There's also a character in Peter Pan, one of the Lost Boys,
who my oldest son says there's Kieran, she's one of the Lost
boys. I know exactly that is Yeah,
yeah. Also brutal from your son to be
like, there's Kieran. No, it's so funny.
There's the same son that when I meet him, he walks up and he
goes down taller than. You.
Yeah, He also doesn't speak like it.
What's up with a broader 4 before we started?
Mr Tumble. So when you were when you were
goo goo Gaga, when you were in Dubai, you were in Dubai there
chat about you're good. Why you know, you have the body
language of Joe podcast. You the body language of that
you're on James English podcast. You look like you're about to
talk about being a screw during during the 80s and some of the
hardest geezers that you met. I'm here to tell my story,
James. Every James English podcast has
someone who was mates with the Craze.
Yeah, yeah, I see the same chippy as Ronnie cry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll come and get 2 deviled eggs and fucking
stab a cunt. Yeah, and the guys like Clampy.
Yeah, I knew we cry. Yeah, I, I, I, he was nearly
going to do this podcast once. Ronnie Craig, That would be
quite the good. See if he's dead 50.
Years. Would you like to?
You know I like it. Sad.
Never heard him talk. That's a punt.
Is it? All right.
OK. But.
You're more doing Tom Hardy now. Yeah, which too far.
He does. I know he played them, Yeah.
Have you never seen the crazy movie?
No, the shooter fucking shoot out at the Western.
Never seen him. Yeah.
But why is the Churchill dog in it?
That's hot that I'm not even funny.
Spot on. Really.
Yeah, that's a spot on. Ronnie Crown that movie.
So you were in Dubai and. You, Francis.
I said did you do any shopping when you were there?
And you said I went, You were very excited to tell me.
Last night you said I went to Hugo Boss and I got myself a
cardigan. I.
Put myself up an outfit. Now you you said that you love
Hugo Boss as a brand because of the history of the brand.
You were saying that's really important to you because you
love like you love I previous collections of theirs.
I don't often agree with the political alignments of a brand,
but they have got it spot well you.
You said that there was a retro range of theirs you particularly
loved that came out in the in the mid 1940s.
Yes. A collab they did, yeah.
With the with. The National Socialist.
Ah, part of you. Yeah.
With an artist so used, that's a brand you love.
Yes. Yes.
And you said I got myself a cardigan in Dubai.
And then you showed up with it today and your heart broke when
you said. I said, is that your cardigan?
And you said, yeah, do you like it?
And I said, we'll talk about it on the pod.
Yeah, your head has, but look at your body language.
You've never been like this on the pod.
Yeah. You've never looked more uneasy.
I'm ready for it can. I tell you some that's gross.
Gross. That's gross.
You're. Shot there dressed like a
character that dies immediately in The Walking Dead and you're
calling this gross I. Don't know what that means.
Zombie. Zombie series, Yeah.
You look like you get bit and then don't tell anyone and now I
wear something. I look like I look like I get
bitten on the leg. Walking Dead.
No, no here, bro. Yeah.
You look like you're on a fishing programme but you don't
speak, you just cast lines and you're saying this is you don't
like this. I don't see if I'm wearing a
cardigan. Yeah, I want, I want comfort.
I want a little bit. I want a nice material.
This is, I want it to be a wee bit chunky.
That do you know what it looks a wee bit like A very, very short
dressing gun. The world's shortest dressing
gun. It's longer.
I think the badge is weird, yeah, and it takes me back to
the SSE when our Butler dropped some banter backstage where you
were you were Hugo Boss Jumper, which you have on underneath.
Generous to call that banter, but yes.
And he just, he just said, all right, Hugo, that I love that
because you were so annoyed at that.
I wasn't. I wasn't.
I just went. That's the most unfunny thing
you ever said to me. But you made the mistake of
saying that's what then you got called Hugo all the time.
And man, I just, it's just not, you know, we call spade a spade.
It's just not working for me. I think Hugo, I don't like the
brand. Yeah.
I like this stuff that doesn't have the name on.
Yeah, we're here for two hours and this is how you want to
start. This, but I'm not a big brand
name. I spent 7 million derm on this
at the remortgage my house, Norman's on the street and
you're you have the audacity to tell me this isn't working for
me? I just.
I feel like a jock in this. It makes me feel like a
quarterback. You look like a jockey.
You feel like a jock. I feel like a jock.
I feel like turtle and entourage in this turtle with dressing
this. Jewel, you look like the
airlines lost your baggage and you had to buy your clothes in
the airport. That's what you look like.
But if you're feeling good, that's the main thing I just.
Don't you look like I'm driving through a rural town in America
and the Jeepers Creepers monster has attacked me?
And then I go into a bar and you're like, you can't go
outside around these parts. You take your check.
You'll go there. You take your chances.
Don't say I didn't warn you. That's exactly what you look
like right now. No, I look like in an American
Horror movie. There's been rumblings about
this small village. Yeah.
And there's cheaper creepers type stuff going on.
Yeah. And I'm a city cop.
Yeah, who's trying to fit in in the village?
Because I don't look authentic. You exactly know what you
exactly look like. I'm not saying here's went to
America and tried to fit in. Yes, I'm only a fan to cap.
Yeah, yeah. Oh.
You have Cowboys, how do y'all? Can I get some grits?
That's what you I love as a BBQ just like Mama used to make.
I'll feed this in my homies. You know, yeah, I'm aware of
that. I want that movie made.
That'd be great. I'm Nazi in Compton.
That'd be great. What's up my N words?
Do you like it to Doctor Dre? But look, the main thing is I
don't like your cardigan, but I love you.
Honestly. Right.
Yeah. And I was this confident in the
outfit. I'd rather you didn't like me in
like the outfit. I'd rather you out of spite like
it's. Too much Hugo Boss at the
minute, It's too much. I can see.
I can see the name Hugo twice. Yeah, it's weird.
It's. Just weird.
It's what I did say about Hugo Boss.
If you buy it, they make sure you know what the brand is.
They're not discreet about it, which annoys.
Me a couple of nice Hugo Boss shirts, but there's there's no
brand on them, they're just plain.
Black real Hugo you've got figure isn't.
It Oh yeah, There's no way. It's got Hugo.
I've got Hugo. Yeah, but if you got to go base.
But if you feel good in it, that's the main thing.
Yeah. Not about what I I look at you
and go yeah, I feel great, but it doesn't matter.
Like you feel good in it. You look cool.
You're and you're short dressing it looks.
Cool. Thank you.
Do you have a good time when you're away, brother?
Yeah. I did.
You did loads of activities dead.
My kind of. Trip met loads of animals.
I was a regular Doctor Doolittle.
Yeah. Met a camel, Yeah, when camel
riding those per fucking things, I thought.
Really. T Buckingham.
Honestly, you couldn't Even so something over their mouth like
the muzzle up the mouth didn't get in but they've just for.
Some reason I picture you'd be a muzzle to you on them.
She did a camel ride in the desert.
Yeah, she'd sit on the back of their wee humps.
How far did you? Yeah.
Where else you gonna sit? They cannot like hung off its
neck like a sloth. Where?
Where did you how far did you go when the camel?
The thing that annoyed me about this is I thought it was like a
big Sahara, like, you know, go across the desert about a wee
head. You thought you thought you
signed up for camel excursion in Dubai and what that entailed was
crossing the Sahara. I thought this is a great deal
for £30, yeah. And you thought you'd be back in
time for lunch. You're like, I'll just cross
this meant to buy across the African desert.
I don't know how fast they are, so I thought that went really
quick, yeah. But no, no, it was like a 10
minute walk around. Now, did you get on easily?
Because I did it in Lanzarote once when I was a kid and there
was like quite a few like older people and people with mobility
issues that really struggled to get on.
Yeah, no, because they're quite wide animals and I couldn't
quite get my leg over and the guy working the tour just
grabbed my leg and basically just wrapped my leg over it like
it was. Fucking so, yeah, those guys,
there's no bedside manner with those guys.
They don't walk around. I just pull you over.
You just call your boss man and throw you throw you around.
So how long were you on the camel for?
Fucking 10 minutes. We scared.
No, no, I just felt bad for the thing.
So it's just they're going and it's they're just hitting it and
stuff. It's really sad, yeah, but it
was fun. You by yourself.
Yeah. Yeah, well, no.
I was part of a terror group. There's little.
There was some French guy who was also by himself.
Didn't trust them. Don't trust the French.
Did you like, hang out with it like a friendly ball?
Those people, no. No, I won't be friends.
What did you? Tell Germans and French what is
this, the United Nations? Absolutely not.
Look at all your. Gear.
They probably thought you were German too.
This guy's obviously a brand ambassador for Hugo Boss.
Yeah, I've always wanted this in the desert.
I had one of those like headscarves on.
Hugo Boss though. Yeah, yeah, It was all Hugo the
the guy who did the tour. I told you about this before.
No, did it. But it was an Indian guy who was
taking the tour and he was picking everyone up from their
individual hotels. When I got in the car, my
WhatsApp profile is me with a microphone.
She was like, oh, I thought he said, are you single?
That's what I thought he said. I thought I was getting fake
taxi in Dubai. You said you're having Bakura
that night, Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right.
So he went are you? What he actually did was are you
a singer? And his accent that I will not
do even though I come. He went are you a singer?
And I went, yes. And for the next 20 minutes, he
spoke to me about like going on like America's Got Talent,
That's his favourite show. He was like, what would you do a
bit and all. I was like, Nah, don't be silly
then everyone do. You realise what he thinks
you've said no? Not at that.
I thought he said, are you a sing?
Are you single? And then talked about America's
Got Talent and I'm being so polite.
I'm like, yeah, all right, you're my bastard.
Them and other pay. Everyone else get in the car.
It was like, ah, Mr William is a singer.
And I went, no, I'm not. And he went.
You just. Told me you were, but that'd be
mental in his head when he's like, are you a singer?
You guys chat, he tells other people and you're like what the
fuck you talking? About see, this is he got
annoyed at me because he thinks I'm mugging him off.
So he went, Mr William is a singer.
I went, I'm not a singer. I just told me you were.
I went, oh, I thought you said, are you single?
I'll be honest with you. You kind of creeped me out of
bed. I thought you were fucking
weird. Probably shouldn't have said
that to him. Doesn't speak to me.
The rest of the terror group, like for the next three hours,
talks to everyone else. Every time I speak, he just
looks at me. Nothing.
Yeah, Region. You do look like a wee singer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It could be in like The Four
Seasons, like Frankie Valley and all those guests.
Dan, can we have a question please?
No question. But Darren Butler says go ahead.
We Hugo. Thank you blackface.
Kieran says well, he has more Hugo Duncan than Hugo Boss.
Who said that? Kieran not.
Not Bartlett. Not Bartlett.
The gun goes back in the holster there.
Hi. Nevermind.
Go ahead just in case. Do you know what guys?
I thought I looked good. I burned my soul to you people.
I hope none of you can get tickets for the SSAI.
Hope it sells out your families now.
Fuck you guys. Happy Thursday.
As Cardigan was so, this was so. Dear, he's built some not too as
well. Oh, no, but also material.
What material Guy did the wee German couple in the back, they
were getting dropped home and because they were dropping us
back to each hotel and they went, oh, can you drop us close
toward the Dubai Mall? Because it's his own Zevi.
And he was like. Sorry, rewind.
Yep. Is this the tour guide of the
German couple? German couple, right?
Because they have an Indian accent.
Does it? I thought this was quite young.
It is no I, but that's not what you.
Did I don't know of another one. I did.
They were like a new drop us near the Dubai Mall and he was
like no counted and they were please it is on.
He's like no of other stuff. They're doing the record.
Please just let us out stops in the middle of the motorway, the
fucking 7 Liam motorway and goes.
I'll just walk over there and climb over the wall that makes
them get out to do that. And just before they closed the
door, he meant gave me a five star review and then drove off.
I love that. What?
Yeah. No, yeah, that's you can't go
out of his way for him to go out of his way.
There's slip lanes, there's all. Here's what they've done, mate.
Could you do us a solid and drop us to this mall that is on the
way? And he went.
Do you like Frogger? Play it.
Yeah, so I get that because sometimes I can be cold like
that, like you found out last night, no way home from Derry.
This bastard, this, this is the nasty issue.
But this is worse than the time we were driving for five hours
on my birthday. I asked for you to play one song
and you went, we'll see. And then never played it.
Last night we were driving home from Derry.
I turn around and went. I'm just feeling a wee bit down.
Silence turns a really well, so here's how this conversation
went for me. I mean, you know, just think,
you know, things are tough at home from the wee bit rough.
You can run, you can have, but you can't escape my love, evil
fucker. Evil.
I just don't need that code of the glensheen pass.
Well, I did. I need.
It's all about what you need at this point because I'm the first
to ask everyone. I'm like, you guys, all right?
I mean, if you tell me no and I. Always talk.
I'm like man, if you're ever struggling anything you can talk
to me. Yeah, you can't.
No, you'll go. You can talk to me.
Don't mean you'll talk back. No, you don't talk to me over
Enrique. You wait until that's over the
entire album. No, what had happened is you
both kind of running on like fumes at the minute.
I wasn't. I was so awake.
And then you told me that, but I was already turning it up, but
from zero. So as I'm turning it up, you're
like, yeah, I'm just really struggle at the minute.
And then hit like 22 volume and I was like, that is a banger
though. That's right, this out.
And after that I was going to. Ask no after that, then
pretended you didn't notice you'd done that because I
pointed it out and went look. I always say if your head's
away, just say, But say to me at a time that's convenient to me.
Yeah. Yeah.
You know. Yeah, I was like, no, no, I'll
come in this nice week, Cardigan.
More people comment them on the cardigan.
Yeah. Someone say something fucking
nice. Don't give me something nice
from the people. Well, well, if he's letting the
mask slip in this episode, I'm. John says he likes the jacket.
Matthew says you look like a wee trendy granda thank.
You that boom, the coolest we guy in the old people.
So the coolest we get the coolest we do it in the fold.
They've got the all the grandkids have chipped in and
bought ground. They'll be trendy cardigan.
Yeah, so I look like a trendy grander and you look like you
work in a tackle shop. Amazing.
Heisenberg and says Shane dressed like a trucker that
hangs around men's toilets while he's dressed like he goes into
men's toilets looking for truckers.
You look like you salt burn the water in the showers of trucker
shower stops. What's Saltburn?
You just drink the. Short water.
Oh, right. I thought it was kind of like I
didn't know what that was. I thought it was like a poison
attack. No, what I thought of Saltburn
was don't prison when they get a cattle.
A boil of water. Yep.
And put sugar in it. I thought it was not, but with
salt and I don't know the camp. I don't know chemistry.
I don't know what that. Will do.
Oh man, that's the only I didn't do that as a science.
Even the GCSE. No, I believe it.
Or dinner. No idea that did chemistry and
biology. I didn't do physics.
Can we guess each other's school subjects?
Yeah, but can I tell you this? See, like the first, I'm not
making this up like first week of physics.
You don't first year. Yeah, right.
I said to the teacher who's called Mr. Miller.
I said Sir, but like quietly said to him, I was like, I think
it's always better to be honest. I was like, I don't like, I'm
not getting this. And he's like, oh, yeah, but
you'll, you'll work out systems for physics and then it'll all
start to make sense because there's a key to everything.
I was like. And.
Then you just turn the radio up. I was like, so you don't
understand. I was like, let me tell you,
none of this will ever go into my head, but I'm letting you
know and I'll come here with a good attitude and I'll not be
disruptive in class, but just understand.
I'll never understand this. And he's like, later in the year
you might. I was like, we'll see.
And then at the end of 4th year, whatever, when you have to stop
for GCSE, he was like, you're right.
I was like, I'll never, I can tell you straight away if I'll
understand something I'm not. Physics will never go into my
that. Strikes to me as you're not
trying though if you. Immediately say my maths, Mr
Cave was my teacher. I was like, sure, I'll never get
this. I'll try, but I know we'll never
get it. Ma, you couldn't understand.
I was tired about maths so I barely scraped to say like.
Do you say guess each other? GCSE.
Yeah. What a feature you did.
English Lit? Yeah.
You had the new mouths. Yeah.
History. Yep.
Geography. Nope.
Awful geography. I thought the Sahara was in
Dubai. Yeah, and I was there.
Politics. No, that was a level right
drama. No, wasn't an option for us or I
would have done. French.
No, that's an interest. German.
No, language isn't interest. The one you're not going to get.
I didn't do any languages. I was so bad at them.
The school invented the subject for people who were really bad
called Key skills because they thought packing locks, they
thought it was just doing coke. But these guys thought there's
no way they're going to get employed.
So we will teach them the basic essence of existence.
So they it was basically like, I swear to God of my GCSE for key
skills. One of the questions, this was a
20 marker was a picture. It was like a baby in a bath and
you have to circle the danger and it was a baby in a bath with
like knives and toasters and like a hair dryer with a faulty
cable, like an anvil or like a wee thin string over it.
You have to circle all the dangers. 20 marker that was.
Yeah, keys and you field, you didn't pass key skills.
I got it in the end. But I think one of the subjects
are a. You did already for sure.
Yeah, you have to do short P. No man, No man didn't do P.
Yeah, but I could see you doing like balls for P GCSE.
Doing what? Like balls?
Oh yeah. Is that all your subjects?
I'm trying to think of you English and English Lit they.
Were two different things. Yeah, I think that wasn't
thinking. I've got it.
There's a science you're missing.
Psychology. Biology.
Dirty bastard. You know what?
Photoshoff this is now. Yeah, cutting up frogs and
Oprah. I did that and was like, why are
we doing that? Yeah, you're doing physics,
though there was, absolutely. You're in the middle of miles.
Guess my subject. PE.
No. No, and we have the English,
English Lit history. You like history?
RE Yep, Yep. It felt like a gift.
It was a gift. Yeah, it was.
I find an RE. They're meant to be two sided
very much. If you go Jesus's class, yeah,
they'll like you. Yeah, media wasn't a GCSE.
No, that's one I did actually. I forgot about that geography.
Yep. Oh.
Tech, technology and design. No.
French it's.
Weird. You look like you teach it like
French. Yeah.
Wait, wait. Right.
What you get in French? CB or C?
What do you get in your GCSE? 2A's one day and the rest were
base that's. Really good.
The age, man, history and English.
I got my. Dollar left the night before the
started as well, so. Really.
Yeah, Yeah. And a wee warrior and a really
nice cardigan. Put it in the comments.
I'm a warrior. Warrior and a nice cardigan.
Yeah, that's great. Yeah.
So he left 4G because he couldn't, he just couldn't
handle the pressure of your. Yeah, he was really, really
stressed out about key skills. T always be with me with a
toaster. So he's like, everything I know
is done. Nothing makes sense anymore.
I am. I got an A2B's AC couple of days
in the EE, something like that. How the fuck I was going to say
how the fuck do you get back in for a level and then realised
you didn't? Well, Mr Short Cardigan.
Yeah, I got sorry teacher. I got told, I got told.
Basically you're not coming back.
As in like you will not get the amount of points to come back.
So start thinking about what you want to do.
And you might. I'll prove you right.
So I said happy days, I want to go to tech anyway.
So I applied for tech and then I said quietly to myself, I'll get
the amount of points to go back. They'll say you're coming back
then and I'll go, no thanks, thanks, but no thanks.
I got the exact amount of points and it was like a 10 or 11
points or something to get back. And I went hang on the Belfast
Met and they're like, that's fine.
No one, no one asked me about coming back.
No one asked me about coming back.
I knew again my year who was so determined to make the second
year rugby team. He took mask in her and loads of
protein. Didn't really train but he put
on. So he did this for like half a
year thinking second year rugby. That's school's cup rugby.
That's the shit I'm going to get in the rugby team, put on about
6, don't got three points, then get back just a fat comp.
She's just. A fat guy attack or a guy attack
Tech was the shit. If anyone doesn't know what tech
is, it's like further education is like college, so you're
basically you go. You can go there from when
you're 16. Yeah, and it's laid back as
fuck. It suited me down to the ground.
I love you boss T-shirt. It's.
Look better. No, as I hit the T-shirt.
I love tech. Yeah, unbelievable.
See, just like the freedom of it, wearing your own clothes a
bit more. Just teach.
Like they wouldn't even call teachers.
And it was lecturers. Yeah, just they were they were
generous. They were way more.
As my lecturer decky. They were more signed with you.
You call them by the first name and they would like what?
It can't be a lecturer and then be like, I'm also I'm your
lecturer, but also Davey. Yeah, no it.
Has to be not no, it's sort of me.
Absolutely. I was like.
Uni was similar, to be fair. Yeah, in terms of how, which I
don't like because they go you're kind of in charge of
yourself, no pressure on you. I need the pressure.
But I felt like the people who did go back to school, I was
like, I'm not jealous that I was like, user direct.
You've got the pseudo. You're wearing a suit.
Yeah. You know what I mean?
You're part of the man, You're part of the system.
Having to say Sir and Messimal, yeah, I'm wearing, I'm wearing a
full failure tracksuit. Yeah, on the bus and I'm just
strolling in and being like, what's up?
John to my lecture. He's not even called John, He's
called Keith. Where's an A levels?
That'd be like see him on the bus.
Yeah, a full failure per guy. What you doing?
That's where you met. Yeah, we did, Michael.
Media studies, communication and production.
Good, good. I love real.
I can tell because you couldn't remember what it was called.
I loved it. What you get biggest buffer in
the world. Yeah.
Because it was all technical stuff.
It was all like, basically how to work a camera.
Yeah. And like how to I never ever,
ever used the camera or I would get someone like him to like
switch it on and get the settings sorted for me.
All I did was like, because we had to make films or make
whatever, I would just be in them.
Some things have never changed, yeah.
Yeah. I would write it and be in it,
but I wouldn't do anything else. Because you you've done a media
course. Oh man.
And you have no idea how commerce work.
No, I have more of an idea how commerce work.
No, and I didn't do it. No idea and I didn't the whole
way through. How do you not?
If you're doing it, how do you not call me as well?
Learn. I was like, sure, I'll never
understand this. I was just honest with the
lecturer. No, you know you went case, I'm
not getting this, see. If you see, if you're just like
signed the lectures and teachers and stuff and you're like, I'm
not going to close the storm. I'm not into this, but I'm going
to I'll, I'll, I'll pretend. Yeah, the respect that a bit.
Some of them, it's the ones that have a passion for their subject
that are like, no, I need to inspire the.
Whereas I want that if I don't, if I'm doing a subject, I want
you to give a fuck. Because if you don't give a
fuck, in my mind I'll go, this is not worth giving a fuck
about. So if I can.
Pretend like I give a fuck and I'll keep everyone giving a
fuck, but if I pretend like I didn't give a fuck, other people
might stop giving a fuck. Are you the teacher of the
student and the student? No one's following what you're
doing. I'm talking about the teacher.
No, I, the teacher did give a fuck, but they were basically
like OK, I'm not going to spend my whole lesson inspiring you as
well the people that are on board or get on with them.
So I want the teachers like here's how I make how do I reach
these kids? If you did, if I did politics,
keep. Me at arm's length, bro.
No, you're not fast. No.
No, I want that. I'll just go to ASAP.
And why did you go to tech then? Why didn't you just go put the
fries in the bag? Bro, just go.
You know, working at McDonald's. Or go to work, you mean?
Yeah, because I felt like I asked so much of I went to tech
for like 5 years or something. Because way too.
Long, I know, but so much of it was because I was delaying.
I didn't know what I wanted to really do.
Yeah. So I was like, this way I can
have a wee bit of a student loan, but I got a great grant.
So I was like, I can work part time.
I'm getting the grant money. Yeah.
So I'm still making enough to kind of like run my car.
I got a grant here but he he took 5 grand from me.
Go on, great niche banter. Thank you I so.
Appreciate it and there's a chance he's probably watching.
I've done it on that. Yeah, you need to pay for
Internet. Go on.
Well, you give him the money, probably his fibre.
I I was always. George over these cardigans.
He don't need more. I was always just delaying and I
knew you want to do something like media what like kind of,
but it just didn't. I didn't, I didn't know exactly
what it was. So I was like, I'll just keep
doing this, right? I love it.
And how falsely? How long did you take on the
Course 2? After a year and a half, you.
Never. You never finished what?
What? I know.
I don't trust, you know, This man has no clue he's there.
My name's. Going now, he went, he went back
and got taught by Kerry for a couple of years, so that's where
his knowledge comes. From He Got taught by Karen
Faust. Karen used to be Fausty's
Lecture, a University of Ulster. What did he teach you?
Sitting in traffic, everyone together.
Mid do we course and we dirty is like.
If you were feeling yeah, that you had to do we dirty.
What did he did you in uni? Where's in the basement?
News and journalism. Right.
OK. Don has no question, please.
Will wants to know how is William coping with wrestler
Corvin after him. Motherfucker.
Who is this guy Corfin? You opened the kind of worms
here. Yeah, he was a guy.
He's a wrestler for OT isn't He's a wrestler from here, but
it was in an OTT show, Over the Top Wrestling, which does shows
here in Dublin. So I, me, Alan Urban Romanski,
we always go to them and he just does not like me, like most of
the Internet just does not like me.
People off the Internet too. Yeah, yeah, a lot of people.
Even within my own family and close friends, No one.
I'm starting to learn no one really likes me.
Or the way you dress. Yeah, yes, a lot of the people
in clothes shops don't like me. Oh, they like you because you
buy anything. The CU common they go.
That's the staff they paid for this week.
Callable Pig. You big nose.
We've had we've had this cardigan for 17 years.
Here he is. Bring that noise.
Bring. That's not that's them going.
He's he'll pay for this. He'll pay for this.
They have a bet on who someday someone will buy that Willie T
walks in blind mom or money. Oh, Willie T is here, guys.
Give me whatever the fuck. Fuck you and they see you coming
and you walk in and you're. Like let me guess, they see my
nose 1st and then I arrive. Ten.
No, no. You walk in and you go, oh, give
me the tightest clothes in your woman's section and you'll buy
it. Give me something the worst
auntie in your family wears. I'll rock it.
Yeah, that's what you dress like.
Yeah, go ahead, tell me about your wrestle.
No, you dress like like you're at a web and a family web and
you've had a few and you just start going.
Do you know what it is? Do you know what it is?
That's you bitchy auntie. Fucking big nose cunt.
Go ahead. What about the wrestling show
you? Oh, is that the show?
He got annoyed that I was cheering for the guy.
He was facing weird and then came out into the he starts to
happen to me on social media. And that's one thing about
Willie. Willie T does not take it lying
down. Normally bent over something
does not take it lying down, so I was cheeky to him back.
All of a sudden I've went through far.
What did he say to you? What did you say to him?
He was like, Willie T, you're a fake fan.
You only come to these shows and I'm like, oh, you're not a
success. Your career is going nowhere,
but you're a fucking loser, right?
I think that's fair. I think that's fair.
Comes to the show. I think it's part of the show.
He comes into the crowd, squares up to me and I'm like, oh, you
know, it's like when you go to like a themed restaurant and the
waiters are saying it's like it's all part of it.
So I stand up and they just push me to the ground.
I hit my weed delicate head off the ground just before Christmas
too. So hold on, hold on that.
What's the leg there? I bind my head at Christmas.
Why are you saying that? Like your heads particularly
soft around Christmas? It's a time for family.
You still have that big baby like hole in your head that's
just a wee bit of hair covers. That's the freakiest shit of all
time. I remember my son being like.
I don't know the medical term because I didn't try and biology
I know it's definitely not big baby hole.
You know, it is a big baby hole in their head.
I thought my son didn't have it and I was like wonder is that
closed over once I. Was like hasn't.
Closed just a wee. I'd use it.
It's like a wee cup holder. It's like put my penis on it.
So like a memory foam bed or something.
Just that's what. So holding pens maybe that's
maybe that is makes sense for me, maybe mine never closed over
and I just have a lot of air getting into my head.
That would make sense. That's where airhead come.
The phrase airhead comes from. What does that come from?
I don't know, but I mean. Maybe I should, Polly fell in my
head. To surmise, though, Corvin's a
fucking loser. He.
Pushed you to the ground. He pushed me to the ground.
There's a better, you know, there's about an inch or two
height difference in it. I'm pretty jacked, but he's a
little a little bit bigger than me.
Going to see him here A. Little bit bigger than me,
right? Damian Corvin.
Yeah, yeah, you can tell by the body tattoos that he's really
cool. So he's a wee bit bigger than
me. He's a, he's a, he's a tiny bit
bigger than me. A bit of an unfair advantage
and. Is he like called you out or
what? What's a little?
Call me I my God he's in my DM's like baby round there.
I'm just ignoring him. Right.
He's. Going to be like, I'm going to
show up the one of your shows and all.
Oh my God, you we freak. He's giving.
Yeah, he's giving me a lot of shit.
Is he a good wrestler? Yeah, right.
That was strong. Like the years it is good, which
it hurt when he pushed me. But I'm just coming to a show.
Like imagine you went to see a football match and fucking like
from behind start joking you're something that's really and
you're like, that's not what I'm here for.
I'm just trying to enjoy the show when people are insulting
me. Yeah, Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, be really annoying. Yeah, WWE are coming here in
March, Yes, and I'm going to go to because they came here last
year, last year. More of that you'll get front
row here. You fucking get the meet them
off the dress I got. Do this wild.
What to say that? To me why?
Caught widely accurate. John Cena gets me up and.
You know, he's done loads of those and he'd be he'd look at
you and go fuck, it's like you can't see me and like you won't.
He's like you won't see next year per wee man.
They'll be like, he holds the podcast and he's like, I'm sure
you're doing very good. Well done.
I'm going to go. I love it.
I'm going to go to. That Who's your favourite at the
minute? I don't know.
I don't know a lot of. I'm.
Not a I'm not a cool real wrestling fan like you.
No, you're not. Wrestling is cool at the minute.
It's not nerdy Wrestling is the shit.
It's on Netflix. You can watch Squid Games and
then you can watch wrestling. That's the future.
It's great. That's cool.
Dan, we have a question, please. Also, you addressed for Squid
Games earlier in the week, so you you've got a theme goal can.
We get this guy off pissing me off.
Well, who wants to know when's the Tea with Me catwalk event?
What's up? I think he's alluding to your
fashion sense, to both of you, that you should put on some kind
of fashion. No, I'm functional.
I'm just functional. We're just recovering from a big
storm. No, I mean, we don't need floods
out of them. And when this boy hits the
catwalk, you build the arc and I'll do it.
Then we're going to skateboard. The I got asked to do a fashion
show locally once and I was like, as Mike McGoldrick.
I actually it would have been a bit of fun.
I just couldn't do it for whatever reason.
Can I tell you some? Yeah, what was the reason?
No, let me tell you something. No, remember.
This is back. Let me tell you something.
This is me telling you this, right?
You didn't hear this from anyone, bar me.
You can't really take the best out of me for this.
Yeah, because I'm telling you, OK.
Don't say that. Don't follow your logic there,
but OK. When I was about 20, I was still
a tech and I was working like part time and needed a little
bit more money. And I was at a party with my
mate who was a model, right? He was.
He was a model. And we were at what was the
nightclub. You might not even member at the
back of the Odyssey, not across from Beach Club Barbuda Buddha
is. That right never never even
heard of. So this was, I don't think it
was around for that long, but it was like a bar and a club kind
of thing. I'd have been 10.
Right and the same height. So we went that he hit there was
a his model agency. We're having a party like
Christmas party from anyway, I went with him good chatting to
the owner of the company and she went she went Oh, do you model
as well? Yeah.
I said I don't. Yeah, no, it's you didn't do
this on purpose. Your eyes went in different
directions. She said you.
Did because you're trying to be like they're a wank.
You went do you model as well? I was like.
Me and then she said, she said. Oh, no, she goes.
She goes. You could.
Know what I heard from you could
was definitely what she was saying to everyone at the party
who wasn't a model. Yeah, like, oh, you're good kid.
What I heard was e-mail me and then come and sign for the
modelling agency. So my I said that to me.
It was like she was sort of saying like, maybe I could
model. I went, can I get her e-mail
address? And he's like, yeah, yeah.
I emailed her as I met you at the party and I'd love to come
and, like, chat to you sometime about doing, like some, you
know, whatever workout. I would don't like anything.
Yeah. And she's like, yeah, we'll call
down someday. But like, very vague.
And I was like, today. Good.
She's like, yeah. It was in Belmont Church Road.
I go down this model agency. It's called Pools Models.
I go down, meet the lady runs really signed.
She's like, yeah, yeah, she was definitely.
She's like, what kind of thing would you want to be doing?
I was like anything, whatever. I was like, I'd love to do that.
She's like, you know, get me some head shots, whatever.
We'll put you on the database. That'll be great.
Yeah. I walked out of there going, I'm
a model, right? I was like, I do model and I
like God knows where I'll go, like Milan, Miami, Paris.
I model. No, basically cut of the head
shots. I was on the books for a year.
Never, never got. No.
Never got asked to do anything. When I walked out of that
meeting, I realised I had Oreo all over my feet, like in the
corners of my mouth and in my teeth and all over my face.
And I think she thought there was something wrong with me and
let me be on the books. So I was on the books
technically of a modelling agency for a year and never got
asked to do one job. How sad is that?
Like, but I'm a former model. It's the Oreos on your all over
your. Face all over my.
Face and be honest, right in that year that you were a model,
you absolutely told everyone, Yeah, if you were chatting up a
girl, you would have said it. Yeah, I'm a model.
Yeah, she goes. Yeah.
What were you? I've seen you when you were
younger too. Weird looking guy.
What were you going to model? No freak.
But they even did like it wasn't by the way, just like fashion
stuff. They would send people to
fucking rush me your shopping centre to give out samples of
cheese. Never needed, never even got the
call for anything like that. No.
So none of. You're not even good enough to
hand out some Brie. No, not not.
I'm not even mature chatter. I'm not hit hand the chatter and
Logan like I yeah, yeah. And then I was like, take me off
the books, You know, She's like, no worries, you're never on the
book. I sure we might have loved
having you here. Yeah, she's just like dropping
off and in the bin. Never happened, but you're
right, I was, I was, I was a weird looking guy.
I still I'm weird, but I was more weird than.
Yeah, yeah, you're not freaky. But God love me thinking I.
Could I? I was ugly in my early 20s
because I couldn't grow a beard. So you're gonna say solid finger
with? What a turn around.
Yeah, sorry, I don't look 12 when I'm 36 like you, but I was
really ugly in my early 20s. I'm still ugly, no?
No. Shut the.
Fuck. Up.
No. So Orlando Bloom?
No. You look great, man.
You look great. Shut the fuck up.
You look great. You look like you're ready to go
see Kid Rock. You look like you look like a.
Kid who collects Roxy. You look like your.
Boss and Trump got back. In.
Ilan's you're. Just going about going it wasn't
a Nazi salute. Ilan's a good guy.
He didn't do anything. You do look like you, fucking
love. Elon Musk like you look like you
look like you. You look like you wank off the.
Laser pants of like, like women's silhouettes.
You're so old, you. Remember laser?
Fans, I went. Off to a porn.
Of laser pants I love laser pants when they.
Came out, I had a. Wee silver one.
And I thought my dad got me in. There was the shop in Belfast.
Not the. Gadget shop somewhere in Bel Oh,
this was the day I know the one you it would.
Just do like weird tap pack things.
Yeah, I know the one. This was the day where like
obviously nowadays. You don't.
People don't know they're born. Amazon Prime ordered.
So the next day, yeah, this was back in the day.
We're like, your dad had to go and get you the thing.
Yeah. So I'm fucked.
You can, but it was it was unreal.
The buzz of like, and it was never like, you get it same day.
It'd be like next Tuesday I can go and get and it was the
anticipation. I remember that laser pen and
just you're literally just doing this shining a small red light
side of buildings. You're like, yeah, this is
living like I'm they used to. They had the ban those from.
Concerts because you'd go see like Robbie Williams and people
are like, I'll just shine it straight and there's eyes yeah,
yeah, when people. Shine in.
Them planes and stuff. Oh yeah, that still goes on.
Really. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Faulty. Faulty doesn't.
That's right. Yeah, I've heard.
You do outstanding. And send them bypassing.
Big industrial. Green laser.
Double ways for a Malaysian art. That's how you met Georgia.
They loved we lose your pen. Do you remember like?
What we tack things we into like do you ever get like a weak
gadget like that that you actually loved I.
Remember that all the. Metal pins, you put your face
into it and then at the deer line of your face.
I love that you think that's a gadget.
That's why I didn't work. That's why I didn't work with
James. Bond for that long.
James Bond's like I need stuff for a.
Mission I'm like, what about this brother?
He's like that's a fart machine. I go fine you'd.
Be the worst cue ever. I'm giving him like the arrow.
That goes around that your head like a bond.
Looks like someone shot you through the head.
Yeah, just just piles of. Fake dog shit.
Is that are we off? What's up?
Oh, right, right, right. I was asking about gadgets.
What gadgets see? I was of the.
Like all the gadgets? Started to be just what, like
MP3 players just became in your phone?
Yeah, I was kind. Of past the age of stupid.
Shit you didn't need. Yeah.
For gadgets, maybe a massage gun.
That we get that. I think we got that as a kid.
Yeah. No, my nanny had an armchair
that was like a massager. You know you can still see The
Dirty bitch. Balls in a.
Way like I thought. Balls in a way it.
Was like. There was little like, robot
arms in the back of it and it would just annoy your back.
Yeah, that got flooded that you didn't.
You. Disgusted, Ma.
Call my granny dirty and all, sinful.
She's sitting on the washing machine right now.
She's not like it's in the corner.
Of the room, you look right at Georgia, as you said the door.
Don has another question, please.
Matthew wants to know Will. Tea with me Ever go on tour?
Yeah, I think. It has #4.
Nope. We've.
Been we've been to. Farm places and we did the
fucking the. Worst.
London show, let's call a speed of speed.
London was great. I was a fucking disaster from
start to fence and Karen. I mean, yeah.
The show was good. Right.
Yeah, but it was. Like first of all.
We got delayed all day Yeah just made it to the show 1 time.
When did this happen? The venue was all Remember when
you almost run out of. Petrol on the way to the second
airport? No, remember we had the switch
airports. We're at the international
flights got. Cancelled, so we booked flights
from the city. Sure, I was at this.
You drove what? You drove us.
You drove us from the international to the city.
It was the Islington show we did.
Meet you in here as far as I am here and all that like.
So we I'm being. I'm being.
Serious, what the fuck you ran, you ran out of petrol.
On the way, yeah, you couldn't get out of the car park.
Yeah, some someone. Rebooked them but forgot to
rebook fastly so it cost us like I booked two damn quicks
because. Sorry, but I like to give them
the option. OK, I'm sorry I gave down a
selection of seats. I don't remember.
Any man, it was a fucking. Shit show.
But we got that. The show was at like 8.
We got there at like 740. Remember we walked in and
there's like queues? Of people waiting for the doors
to open yeah, because we. Had to sell the doors because we
hadn't. So me, you and Kieran did this.
Pod and the pod, it's here. Here's the thing, if we say if
we had been in like Leicester Square Theatre or something, it
would have been perfect. But it was.
Was this the tripper? You shouted.
At a guy who worked in an airport, yes.
How do you remember that even if you turn around that Mexican?
Guy and said. Do better.
And stormed off. You did.
Which I thought was. An absurd.
Reaction over an airport Taco but was very funny.
I wasn't even eating. Yes, right, he wasn't.
Do better is a thing people have said.
To Russell Brown and you're joking.
And a guy who made your burrito and that work with Russell Brown
and didn't? Say do better.
I forgot, that's the only thing I remember from that.
He took it all out and some poor.
Some poor wee bastard working in Luton Airport.
I turned the guy who's getting my.
Pimple means he went leave away guys alone.
They're too young. For you, you've paid a weedo.
Peter Guido would have. Been way better, Peter.
Italian. Italian.
Peter Guido looks. Like someone I play in the.
Godfather. Look how they mess a good my.
Boy who do, but yeah, that show. That show would have been great
if we had the right venue, but it was an awful venue.
One awful. It was like we filled the bottom
and then the yeah, the balcony was empty, but it was like half
of the room nearly. Yeah, it was our eyeline.
Yeah. So it was like it was what could
have been. So I I will definitely go to
London and do like when we do less square theatre or something
like that. Oh, that would be nice.
That would. Be nice.
I can't remember. I don't.
I hate that I can't remember this trip.
Yeah, I remember the Canada 1 New York.
New York was the other one. We all went on.
If you remember that, I remember that.
I remember that. I just remember the calendar
because I was very stoned for a lot of it.
Yeah. And freaked out the comedy club
because I thought I lost my passport.
I remember that. Yeah.
We're. Gonna in a minute.
We'll take a 5 minute break and then we'll be, we'll be back.
We're here. Dan's gonna kick the fuck out of
me. Once it's over 1:00, No, he'll
not he'll. Take it out someone that.
Works in Burjum. Bowl or tackle?
Fucking pig. Willie T, are you?
You gigging this weekend? I'm in Portrush.
Tomorrow. Oh yeah, yeah, Kiwis.
It's great gig. I love that.
Who you on with? No idea, I don't care.
But. I am.
It's so light. It's in the big room.
It'll be good. Don't give a fuck else as well.
I don't give a fuck that I'm on. Yeah, I'm still in January.
Mode. And you, you had your lovely.
Trip Yeah. So you're probably just like
can't be bothered with anything. I hate that I'm back.
I should still be. I just.
Want to be a wee Prince in Dubai?
When we come back, we're going to tell the story.
About your hotel room. Oh God, we'll.
Be back in about 5. Minutes.
Cheers. Zippers, welcome back to.
This live stream episode of the TV With Me podcast with my guest
William Thompson. Hello, does anybody want a hat?
I needed a hat. Today.
And then I realised I had this one which I bought, eh,
somewhere I think. And then I realised it doesn't
suit the shape of my head, not that any had those.
Where'd you get this? Especially Brian Harvey.
Sell your daddy. Think about we fishing.
At the back of it now. Oh, I.
Oh, I see it as much. Anymore.
But it's a RIP. Is that RIP curly billable
Quicksilver down? Do you want that?
I thought that's a damn quick. Cut.
Yes, don't ever do. Why are you?
Acting like you're the owner. Of an exhaust business and
you're bringing in that is Brian Harvey.
Yeah. That's great, I just need to
run. Myself over with.
Mccar and gain pens though you want?
No, I don't. Think I should?
Hots you doing That's all right, Yeah, it's.
Really convincing no that. Actually.
That actually does this? Yeah.
It doesn't feel the grounding. Yeah, I look like I should be
walking a big. Dog.
Yeah, like big. Like you should be on the you
look at you should get around on an Irish will find hand down the
bags walking a big dog. You don't see the hand on the
bags as much. Anymore, I think it's good jeans
took over. It's harder to get the hands
down the bag and jeans yes, yes, do you know what I mean yes
track suits. It was in the winter bags was a
weird. Look, I was never a.
Hand down the bags. Guy like I used to do, it loads
as a. Kid and I don't know why because
it wasn't sexual yeah no no, it was just my bollocks are.
Freezing. Yeah, so I'll just cop.
Would you think that's it over here?
Thing like, do you think that was a universal thing?
I've never seen anyone else. Do it.
No, but it used to be you walk around the street and everyone's
just touching. Yeah, girls never did the.
Hands in the bikes now. You would have been like, that's
trampy. Yeah, that's disgusting it.
Was a man thing. Yeah, it was a patriarchy.
I remember him days. When you could put both hands in
your deck and balls all day before everything went woke.
I'd walk around the streets, sack in the hand.
Not occur in the world, DJ. Call me on the phone, folks.
The chat bars open whatever you're watching on you can ask
questions if I oneself puts their hands down their.
Bags, we'd love to hear from you.
May 23rd, we're at the SSE Arena.
It'll be it's a Friday night. It's going to be bigger and
better. Some surprises lined up.
Guests stand up with what have we done?
Extended the size of the SSE Arena.
They're actually putting an extension.
On the arena, they're on two floors, yeah.
Open Air and Hugo Boss Close I'm bringing in.
Gig which is going to be which? Is going to be great.
Also, the live episode we did, the Waterfront holiday in the
last year is going out tomorrow exclusively on Patreon with
Willy T and Mickey B and it's proper naughty.
What an. Episode that was very.
Fun. Wild.
So that's going up there. Just as a Patreon exclusive, Umm
Don had kick us off for the question for this hour.
Please. We're here at 12, Fifth says.
Why does this? Know look like a podcast about
niche country music. You don't.
You can't get on. Board a country isn't.
That right? I like classic country, you
know. You're Johnny Cash.
You're Willie Nelson. I don't like this new country,
right? Can you?
Stay in this new country. I just don't like it.
Yeah, I like a Jelly. Roll.
But see, when it's it's like, what about Zach Bryan can't.
Stand them, is he saying? That I've got my ass in them, No
sit feed in the water, ass in the sand.
I hit see anytime they talk about drinking a beer.
Couldn't give one fuck. Yeah, it.
Definitely is more poppy, No, yeah, I do.
I I do. Like.
Some of it, yeah, but not like loads of it.
But I probably know like the mainstream acts, Yeah, people
could probably go, but this, you need to listen to this.
But you're Luke Combs I know of. Him.
Yeah. Zach Bryan.
John Mayer. Post Malone.
No Post Malone. Is more country now to?
Be fair. No, he's completely country.
Yeah, I. Don't like it?
He's like all. Out now I.
Had some help, don't really. Like it as much.
I don't mind it. I like them when he.
Was taken perks. And wearing dreadlocks.
He'll ever go back to Rob. No, he said himself, He only
did. That to kind of.
He dropped White Iverson. What a song.
He'll never have a better song than that.
Really. I like it but sounds.
Best better now I love now white Iverson.
That's a good. Song, but he said he only.
Dropped out as like not a joke but it wasn't serious song.
And then it blew up and he was like well then I'll just make
more of this. Turns out he was good at doing
it some floors. Brilliant song as.
A good song. Rock stars, All right, stay,
stay as my favourite one. I like that you sang out in
Australia when we booked a private.
Karaoke to you? Literally.
Who's really emotional? So weird.
Yeah. Because you can make your voice
do that. We thing the vibrato thing,
yeah. Yeah, I can do that.
No nervousness, just do it. All right.
Where does the like? Tell me that.
It's all OK. It's crazy that you didn't do.
It OK, I can't do it. Sometimes can't do it now for
some reason, now that you've put me on the spot and like do that
shaky voice thing. Tell me that it's all OK, OK.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I got too.
Nervous. This is like when you tell me to
rap in front of the people and I'm like, no, Dolly, I can't.
Yeah, yeah. Come on.
At your aunties. And uncles here.
Do you think my parents would have?
Parties get drunk and bring me down the kitchen.
Be like rap for everybody. Oh really?
Yeah. Fucking weird.
And would you? Did you ever go to or?
Would you just freestyle? Freestyle.
No, you. Dead, Dead I.
Never I never. Wrote Bars mate.
I I come from the Jay-Z school of You don't come from the.
Jay-Z come from the Jay-Z. School or you didn't graduate
your freestyle. And then you're.
Like off the attack your freestyle.
And then you have. Parties and you make women sign
NDA's. That's the Jay-Z school of hip
hop. A lot of rappers we used to
listen to when we were children. They a lot of rappers.
They're in a lot of trouble. And I don't know which ones I
can listen to you anymore. Yeah, I mean Jay.
Z. Daddy, probably. 50.
Yeah, well, here we are. I.
Think he he sounds like I listen to his like self help book
hustle harder, hustle smarter. You listened to 50.
Cent's self help book. Yep, Hustle harder, Hustle
smarter. And I listen to you like as a
result. You do hustle smarter and harder
are you listen. To it in times where I need.
To say 5 five times. Hustle harder, hustle smarter,
hustle harder. Hustle smarter, Hustle harder.
Hustle smarter, hustle harder, hustle smarter.
And what's what's he? Give me a few takeaways that 50
is giving you so I'll listen to it if there's times.
I need to lock in, I need to concentrate, you prick.
When I'm listen see when I'm grinding, right, and I need to
pay attention. That's what I have in my ear
because he's just telling you why you should be paying
attention. So if I'm in the gym, I'm
banging and clanging and pumping on right.
All right, pumping on right, $0.50, I'm here.
He's been like, you just need to focus so things he's given you.
He's like, if you're in a serious business event, the
drinks will be flowing. Don't take them.
Pretend you're drinking. Pretend.
So no one's going like have a. Drink why you're not drinking.
Pretend you're having a drink. So when he doesn't drink, he
doesn't drink it. Which doesn't drink.
Right. Yeah.
So when? He promotes.
Like say he's. Promoting the fucking gin or
whatever it is he does. He gets his team to take a
bottle poured out filled with soda water and he steps that so
we still video. He always did that.
Yeah, he. Said like in the club, like in
in the club talking about a bottle full of blood and stuff.
He's like, I was like ginger ale.
There's something he hasn't said.
There's ginger a lot. Sort of what Ginger?
Ale, he pretends to be drinking it so that he's given off the
image that he's this party guy. But I always have my he always
has his wits about me. I went to do 50 Cent.
I realised that was Mike Tyson stopped on it.
But so he's like, I like to have my fans in the club.
Michael Jackson dropping. In for a quick minute.
No, that's Mike Tyson. It's not Mike.
Tyson, it is Mike. Tyson, not Mike Tyson.
I can do it. Chris Eubank.
OK. Are you?
Going to him or. You're going to interview me?
So you're Chris You, but how? Are you Chris?
Yes, I'm very. Well, thanks.
William and. What have you any business
endeavours on with the minute, Chris.
Yes, I. I'm coming.
Out with a. Signature range of sausages.
Solid. Kind of.
Sausages, I'll do. My Tyson there no.
No. Can I also ask you, Chris?
Why the fuck are you speaking like poke and lake sausages?
Dead on. Tyson No.
No. Tyson.
How are you, Mike? Are you, are you still in the
weed business? Yes, I'm pretty well.
Thanks. Hey, why is are you now?
Doing Chris Eubank? No, I would say.
Well, I say. Tyson Fury go.
Tyson, what are your plans? After retirement, well, I won't
take it. That's.
Always there, Dick Turpin. Wore a mask.
Jake Paul is going to fight Logan Paul.
Yep, we just think about that. We talked about that last night
and I was like, that might be the only one of these I'm
vaguely excited for. My serious take is this the.
Hype is always amazing. That is what those guys do.
The fights are never good enough.
Yeah, but. They're so good.
They'll be a better like. Like they'll be.
Obviously orchestrating. Everything behind the scenes.
But then when I come see, he's like.
They'll be good at that and. They'll go, they'll do low blows
and stuff, I think all be agreed upon.
So they'll be really good at making you think they hate each
other. They've overstepped them.
They won't do a. Case I did.
Which is bring out Wayne Bridge. I mean, like, you'll remember
John Terry bucked your missus, got a whole stadium for the
people that chanted and I was like, can't believe Wayne took
out thick Wayne Bridge dropped out and he's like.
I didn't want that I I thought I was just.
Trying to like really, and I mean to like hurt your family.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wayne Bridge come out also.
Wayne Bridge has aged 40 years. Yeah.
Reg coming for me. I know, but my God, he.
They were like, what was the case?
I was like, I want to fight the best.
He was a big name, big name. William Bridge.
William Bridge, who was never even.
Like the biggest left back at most of the clubs he was at.
No, he was always the guy who would do.
Your solid if Ashley was good player, good player.
Good player don't get me wrong, but weird in 2025 to be the big
name. Who's fighting YouTube KSI?
I went from fighting Floyd Mayweather.
Who's next? Has to be Wayne Bridge Give.
Me, a celebrity boxing match, you would be excited a bit like
a genuine 1 where you'd be like, that'd be fun.
Joey Barton. And Lawrence Fox and.
Hopefully. It ends like $1,000,000 baby but
for. Both of them.
Clint Eastwood has to kill. Both of them at the end.
That's what how I hope it happens.
What about like do? You know what I love to see?
Have you seen what Conor McGregor's been saying about our
boy Paul Hughes? Hi.
What? The fuck?
Can't believe McGregor would. Say something like that.
I mean at least all women in the section 90s or filthy if not
from him. But tell you why, man, be
careful. What?
Paul Hughes wants to call me. Yeah.
No, I don't think Paul would. But see, McGregor, you know, a
lot of people McGregor talk shit about, you know, they can't do
anything about it. Yeah, Paul Hughes can't.
Paul can't. Punch in the head, but this is
the. Thing when McGregor he's.
Like, get that flag off you. You're not, you're not meant to
be wearing a flag. You shouldn't have a flag on
you. I'm like, yeah, we're time to
care about consent and I, oh, don't.
Put that flag on you I. Don't want it?
Yeah, many hashtag. Bum hole licker I saw.
The second you're licking my hole and I'm farting in your
face. No, he didn't.
I swear. To God, I believe you.
I believe yeah, you're like in my.
Hole and I'm farting in your face.
He's a he's a long better. He's really lost the trash
talking element from like who the fuck is that guy being like
I'll say I'm the best and I'll be the best through the fuck is
that guy? That all, McGregor.
Do your McGregor. Really.
I don't really do it. Bro, do you know what I mean?
You're licking my. Whole I'm farting.
In your face, I farted in your face.
I got. That.
I'm like you doing that like. The about the.
The vibrator, Yeah, I don't really.
Do. It brother, when he was on that,
when he was going to the inauguration, when he was on the
inauguration, boss, he was sitting beside Logan and Jake
Paul and he's talking to Logan Paul and he's like, I fight you
out one night. He goes, you're a mixer for me.
You're on this way. You're on the side, you're a
mixer. And then they were like.
You can't even do the job that you are supposed to do, never
mind any side business. Yeah, but I listen to Paul.
Paul was on Ariel Helani show and which is like the number one
like MMA podcast and I listened to the way home after I dropped
you off at the park and ride last night.
Yeah, weird that we did not really this shows.
It's just that it's the side of showbiz people don't want to
see. Yeah, it's me.
Well, I'll see you. Tomorrow morning, nice, very icy
outside. Take my rubbish with me.
Is that all? Right, all right, Yeah.
I better leave the house. Don't worry.
So where you go, Where you go. It's late enough.
Give my best to the family. I.
Will. Do well text.
Me when you get home all right watch em roads all right now.
I am. I'm seeing it tomorrow.
For my sins, I put up listening to something.
Really stupid when I got in your car like I my car put up you can
just hear like Livin La Vida loca blasting out of my car I.
Listened to Paul's interview and it was like 1/2 hour long and he
speaks so well. Yeah, he speaks so well.
Paul. They did relax.
I'm a big fan. You speak so.
Good. I just mean it was Paul Hughes
on Babe Station day. What a mad.
Situation. To find yourself in and he just
has handled himself very with a lot of class.
Yeah, I think but but no one takes McGregor.
Seriously, at night, if he was in the room, would I be afraid?
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, Paul? Said the way he feels.
About it. He's not in the room so fuck
him. No one.
Takes him seriously anymore. Paul's like, I don't care about
what? He says at the minute and that
is sad. Imagine.
You got, you know. To the teppy top of the game and
like a comedian you loved growing up who would have been
like Lee Evans or, you know, the face of comedy, Richard Richard.
Weird if he tweeted you, but you get to the top and they're just
Gervais Gervais. And you're like, oh, big respect
to you, Ricky. And he just tweets back.
I'm fought in your face, Fun. In his face.
Bum hole. Get that flag off.
You from up there? Racist.
Sectarian. Battle.
He loves it. He loves it.
Yeah. Your wife's a towel.
Yeah. Did he say that?
They could be. Yeah.
Fucking even McGregor boys were like, all right, dial out down a
bit, your wife's a tile and then could be fucking speak now talk,
now talk now talk. Now talk now.
Oh. That's where you go.
He is. You should have gone to that
fight in Dubai. I told you, man.
I I got. Offered tickets but they weren't
beside each other, me and my friend and we didn't want to sit
alone. It would have been weird, but
no, I don't. Want to be alone?
No more, no more, no more. Who sings that?
Fucking another level. Dan, we have a question, please.
Not a question, but a statement. From our TV's Boxing insider Arm
Butler. Here he is.
Here we go. Jack's not fighting.
Logan it's. APR Stunt.
You heard it here first. Conspiracy theorists, aren't I?
Think they'll do it? I think they'll do it.
I mean, they have to. Do it.
The money is, I think interest maybe maybe the numbers are
wrong and this is a ridiculous statement.
I feel like that's weaning a bit that like influencer boxing.
Yeah, just ever so slightly. I've had so many matches and
it's like the initial thing of like, what would this be like?
It's kind of gone and now people realise the standard of fight is
so bad, yeah, that they will need something like this.
They like get it going against. People saw it with Tyson when
they're like. Tyson, you're getting Mike Tyson
against Shake. Paul, he's going to come because
in their heads, they're going Mike Tyson 95.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mike Tyson.
He is. He's 94, but you're.
Getting the Mike Tyson that. Retired in O four Yeah, because
he wasn't good at it anymore yeah and people they forget that
yeah, but that's you have that that's it's the problem is you
can cut the great promos. You can build up the high
packages, but you have to have the match Yeah, I'm there's no
like smoke and marriage you can put around it.
It just won't be good. Yeah.
Do you know what I mean? I think it was McGregor,
Mayweather. Like.
Shit also bad I watched that in. The bar in Malta and we there
was like a time difference and we went really late at night to
watch it. Places like parked out you to
buy a ticket to go and see it. Yeah.
And we all went. We're at my friend's wedding.
It was like the day after, the day before.
And it was the biggest let down of all time.
Yeah, but also, of course it was.
Like I was the exact same, but you kind of let yourself get
carried away is how good is this?
It is a mad statement, The comedians.
Boxing is better, crack like more entertaining.
It's a mad statement, The Mayweather V McGregor.
I obviously don't mean the standard, I mean it's fun,
whereas there's no fun element. The Mayweather V Don't think
that's what they were going for. The fun element.
I just mean, what's a better night?
Probably McGregor. Mayweather meant to.
Be honest with you, I disagree, fuck off.
You can't. Mean not.
It's fun when we do the boxing. Are you seriously comparing it
to the biggest pay-per-view get of the 2000 lbs?
I think the people. At the local comedian.
Guys, what's better? Glastonbury Pyramid.
Stage on a Sunday or when we do Stars and Rise, I'll tell you
which I'd rather I'll tell you, but but I.
Still think there's something in this?
I mean, you survey people on the way out and you go, what kind of
night? OK, so there are 1000 people
that will be in the. Comedians box and see what they
say. And then the 30 million that
watch McGregor, Mayweather, what are they going to say after it?
What did you say? But.
It was a letter, yeah. But it was also so big that it
couldn't lived up to exactly. Where's the bar for what?
We do so low. The people went this fuck I was
actually great. This is a mental argument you're
making. And I can't.
Can someone back me up on what I'm?
Trying to say absolutely no one back this up.
It's a better night. Somehow at what we do, it's
better value for money. It's.
Better value. For money, that was a very
different approach. To what your initial argument
was. That's what I said at the start,
no? It wasn't you went.
From it was a better night and more fun to it was more fun.
It was more fun probably. Probably.
Probably.
Probably, probably. Yeah.
More. Fun.
But I don't know, don't know if it was, you know, better.
I can't stop the comedians. Boxing happening again.
I can't stop it. What do you mean they're going
to do it? Right.
I'm not. Work away I'll.
Not be there? I might.
If they do it again, I'll commentate.
Yeah, I'm not. I'm not you're.
Not going to be there. I'm not going to.
Be there, maybe we. Just have like should we just?
Have like Potty and Mickey fight each other.
Can we just fuck in a car park? At the back.
Rocky, four behind, closed.
Doors behind. Closed doors Patreon exclusive
Fight Club kind of yeah, I'm like there's no crowd as just.
People ground them. That's what we'll do.
That's what would be good. That's what we'll do.
No, that would be good. That would.
Be good, wouldn't be? Bigger than McGregor, Mayweather
and do we do it and would. It be like in a boxing gym,
yeah. Boy, yeah, with like, burnout
Arsenal. No, not burn, burn.
Bombs. Bombs.
Bombs, I know. Below the belts now, yeah.
Your bums head, yeah they wank each other.
Bomb boxing, bomb boxing. Remember bomb fights bomb boxer.
Sounds like something my dad. Would call a game.
Stay away. Maybe bum?
Boxer bomb fights, was that by the same guy that bomb hunters?
It was just about me and Mckenney call ourselves.
I was told about this in Dubai. There's a guy that bomb hunters
and they would like just like be like the crocodile hunter but
tie up like homeless people. Yeah, and like the early days in
the. Internet bomb fights as they
would pay homeless guys. To fight each other or do mad
stuff like get tattoos in their face, whatever.
Yeah. And then the guy went on.
Doctor Fell dressed as Doctor Fell, because he he was going to
make the point, that's right, that Doctor Fell is accusing him
of exploiting people for his own gain, and he was going to go
exactly like you're doing. And then Dr Fell refused to
interview him. That's despicable.
I'm not speaking. You get get get off my stage.
Stone Cold Guess Ocean Dr. They're not a minimised part,
no, you're right. And looks wise as well, yeah.
It's despicable, you son. Of a bitch.
Yeah, bomb fights. Yeah, well, do you know what
we're on? Want to have a bomb fight?
No, we're fucking on to. Something about like a Fight
Club behind closed doors fight. Yeah, let them just go for it
really. And I'm a big.
Purse it would be. Really cool, yeah.
Do it as a. Big Patreon exclusive, yeah.
Because I don't, I don't want to do another Mickey and Potty
trilogy. Yeah, it's the trilogy.
Like we'll make them fight 3. Times in a row?
Yeah. It's just me.
Sure, let's watch them. Just then, like a big armchair.
Nothing. But the starting at all because
no like it's going to be. Like, we'll make it hard.
There's going to be you're not even doing the silly ring girl
stuff. Nope.
Serious ring guard stuff, Yes,
I'm in a certain tie. Hugo Boss, Yeah.
I know we're we're sitting ringside with the.
Way you look, Squid Games masks on, that's what we do.
Why are people want to do the comedians boxing again?
I don't know if the people, when I say the people, I mean
comedians. I don't know if the people want
that again, but do the comedians want it again?
The comedians want it again. A couple.
Of them want that, yeah. They want it again I.
Can't do it. I can't do.
Six months of this again, No, I swear to fuck I.
Couldn't. I feel like like Tom Cruise.
By the 4th Mission Impossible, yeah, I just fucking have to
climb the Burge Collate. You've got to get up for it yet.
Jump. 40 feet across the skyscraper.
Yeah, By the way, A. Lot of people love that he does
his own stunts. It doesn't matter.
I hate it. It doesn't matter to me.
Yeah, he. Does.
I don't care. He actually climbed on top of
that. Electric tar and like took the
shock it on fell off it I'm like OK doesn't make you not gay I.
Still think that? That.
Is the question do? People want to see the Fight
Club by. The way yeah, response to know.
Why is well, he? Dressed like Tiger Woods.
There's a great Tiger Woods on, on, on.
The last day of the Tiger Woods after.
Like he had to apologise to his wife for though after he was on
all those painkillers. Thank you very much.
Thank you. It's not how he talks.
He did Paul. That's remember.
He just like, it turns out, the biggest.
Boker in sport, what's he play? The worst sport?
Absolutely phenomenal. And it wasn't.
Even like we had in the fur or. Whatever, it's like this man
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was getting the three wound out,
playing in the rough hole in one.
Good man. He was playing eighteen holes
and then going to. Play.
I don't. Know how the man had any
electrolytes? Left in the fucking body and it.
Wasn't even like no one sometimes.
Celebrity cheating the rack you're like how could you that's
your wife and cheated on she's thinking everyone you're like
Jesus Christ I didn't think I was popular all Swedish so the.
Mom is dashing out the. Meatballs like Mom was at IKEA.
24. Seven.
Like every single one. You're like.
Tiger Woods has slept with 300 women, all 10 out of 10s he
slept with more Swedish women than.
Not yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah.
Did his wife take him back? No.
No, she chased his cargo Golf. Club, that's right, she.
Got fucking serious payout of that did.
Are you an IKEA guy? Do I take like a wee IKEA trip a
bad I can't belt? It myself, I mean, I was very
determined to do that because I'm not a DIY guy, so it's like
I'm going to build my bed breaks every two days.
But I'm so proud of it. We need dirty bastard.
We need to ask you a question that is a sort of rollover
question from yesterday. You'd be the guy to ask because
you're a man in the field with this sort of stuff.
No, no, no. It's just one of those days.
I'm Fred. Fred Worst.
Your friend. Brought. 1st no man that.
Doesn't look good. Yeah.
No, no, no, it doesn't look good.
No. Answer your question is this.
What you look like at? The wrestling, yeah.
Yeah, 1. Stop we.
Were. Talking Yesterday we were
talking. About what's going to be the
next sex thing, what's going to be the next thing, because we've
been through a lot of different eras.
I'm getting updated by the agency.
We've been through. Fingering heckies at the minute
where the fingering came first. You know, hickeys probably came
first, but. It's not the extremity change,
it's just what's in fashion. Hickeys is a very old but we we
have spoken about this. And I believe it's an
evolutionary thing in terms of fashion.
So women traditionally, not traditionally, but you know, in
the past few years, big bombs. Why have you got so GB news with
big? Bombs weren't desired, I've
actually. Weirdly went quite out so there
was a lot of big bumble clots. Big.
Bumble clots was not a thing. Was not.
On the menu. Then our Seaton became the big
thing. Now everyone wants a big fat
binder. What's?
Going to be the next body. Part the the it's what I think
the next thing will come from. What is the next thing that
fashionably have a man will want to put their deck in it.
Right, right, right, right. So big.
Ears became a thing. Well, that was what I said.
I said it's. Going to be an ear thing.
Yep, you know that we cotton bottle caught.
Their sales will go up because everyone's scraping the fucking
love juice out of it. Yeah.
Do you know what I mean? We don't know, but I don't think
what if a big fat. Vagina.
Was in fashion like a sucking ear.
Sucking of the ears. I don't think it'll be exactly
you call a pirate, that's a bucket.
Maybe a big fat vagina? Fates on the way.
Fates. On the way?
Good, because that's grow. And that's from me.
But Stanking. But there's nothing.
None they're not. No, do you know what I mean If I
shocked the. We told from every now and that
yeah 100% but no one the only. Person the person sucking the
toe is getting something that ever got your toe sucked?
No. Have you got your BE?
Honest. Have you got your toes?
No, because I wouldn't let someone.
No one. Has a mouth wide enough for my
Hobbit feet? Yeah, but you have such.
We fate that you get your whole foot, your mouth, Mungo.
No, I don't have. We've had big, fat feet.
I don't mind. My, you've seen my.
Feet. They're proper Hobbit feet.
They're small, yeah, but they're wide.
You look like you've been punished in China.
Do you know like the what they do?
This thing by. They're buying the feet, right?
I didn't know that in. A camp, right?
OK. You know.
I didn't. Know that I was.
Very confused by what you meant. I don't know, man.
I think that I think you're right.
About the body part thing, it'll be and you won't see a common.
Because bombs used to be gross. No one would go near a bomb and
say look at that bomb. That's where papers come from.
Apart from that guy Range in the fight.
No, he was looking for bombs. He was a bomb.
Hunter Alan Irwin gave a. Theory yesterday that the the
bomb wank is going to really take off and that is like dry
hump on the bomb bomb. Yeah, but but.
Teddy. Wank for a bum Bum.
It's an. Up and down motion instead of
him. Oh, so it's not?
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, just dry hump the bum.
Bum. Yeah, but skating across dry
hump? In a bum bum.
Yeah, yeah, Feel. Legend Dry hump in a bum bum.
But is there anything? Else you want bodies or.
More Baha man in my man. In your bed?
Dry hump in a bum? Bum dry it.
No, it's UK garage. Dry hump in a bum bum.
Dry hump in a bum bum when the crowd say ball select.
I'm sorry, what were you going to ask?
No, I just don't get serious. All of a sudden, no man.
But what are you the most serious I have ever?
What body? Part do you think?
Will evolve. What do you think?
What's? The next back muscles delts.
Yeah, but you're. Think you're thinking they get
I. Think they'll get big?
Really big and. Strong you get big dealt wank.
So like I think it just like crushes your Willy in between
the delts. Do you only like it like you're
flatten on a pizza though? What's it like?
Delts on his what's like a. Weird thing you've been asked to
do. Delts on his birds got.
Caught like a flopper it was. Big man with Willie, there's
like chewing. Gum on the.
Street. What's a weird like?
Along the lines of. The foot, the toe.
So. I can, yeah.
What's a weird thing you've And you're kind of like, yeah, yeah,
I'll go with it. But it's weird, right?
So I'm not like, do you know what I mean?
Like even even if I'm like innocuous where you're like, I
think it's. When?
When you've had sex. And then they're like, oh, do
you want to stay? I'm like, oh, you're weirdo.
No, you're pervert. Don't touch.
Me, you're depraved mind. Pagan's always been something I.
Anything wee? Wee or a poo?
Poo I don't do, wouldn't do wee wee so I stay away from the
French. But with anything bodily fluids
other than spit not into pick a wee best.
Bet take. A wee best but I'm wrong.
What make me feel like a pavement?
Footballer does like like a wee. Month rest of like look at it
they out me fine but I wouldn't be pissed on yeah.
You would no, but no. No, but I'm saying it.
Would take very little for you to just.
No, it wouldn't not. Into not into it would make me
very uncomfortable. I think you would, you would 5%
no, I. Think you would 1000% No, no,
no. No.
But I bet like the toe thing. I'm about to come.
Yeah, I bet like the toe thing. Weird.
And what are you getting out of that?
Yeah. Yeah.
It's a no for me. Yeah, it's a no for me.
Yeah. Toes.
Not in the toes. No, the whole dress up like a
puppy and pretend to be an animal freak.
Bring back bullion. That should be illegal.
Yeah, that's weird. It is fucking having your.
Partner a dog in a Lee. Like a leash in a chain.
Yeah, fuck off. You'd be so cute.
Like that though. No.
Why? Like I like.
You shouldn't even be cheeky to your partner, let alone be like,
yo, we're we're heading out to the pub here.
Have you got your chain? Yeah.
Mental. Yeah.
I'm like, oh, it's my new girlfriend.
This is Lucy, and she has a fucking bowl on the floor and
she comes in crawling. Yeah.
Metal. Like, yeah, TV comes on.
There's another woman on the screen.
She starts barking. Metal down is for.
The question please. A few people have asked him on
the More about Willy. 'S trip to Dubai I was what do
you people want to know? Started off bad.
Man, didn't it? A little bit.
Of a fuck up, a little bit of a Boo.
Boo, I may have booked the wrong.
Days in the hotel for going to the bastard so dead.
I landed the H2 in the morning and I wasn't meant to be there
until the next day. Yes, that's great.
So I then. Had like you can wait.
Until 10:00, we'll give you an early check in or you can pay
for a room now. That was 2 in the morning now
Willie T's changed. Because back in the day, Willie
T would have sat in that reception until 10:00 AM if it
was work, if I was there for. Work.
I still would have done that. Do you know you've developed
that attitude of we? Sultan no, you've a we Sultan's
attitude. I don't take holidays.
I was. Like I'm going to live in La
Vida Loca on this holiday. I'm going to be luxurious.
I went, I'll pay for the room. The only room they had available
was a four king bed presidential suite with no one in it with
four beds. 4 That's why. It's a four bed suite.
And it was. 1000 Derm. I was only going to have to
sleep in it. What's that like £500?
£200 all right. I was going to have.
To sleep in it. For six hours, until my room was
ready, I took a deck. Head was a class though, yeah.
It was brilliant. But.
It was also as I guess way too, but if I hadn't been staying in
that room and like this would have been amazing right, but I
had to pay like 210 LB for like 6 hours sleep and you got to
meet the Penguin as well got. To me to get get to Penguin.
Myth The third biggest Penguin. Ask me things about Penguins.
I Normal. What's the lifespan of a
Penguin? Thanks Alan bro.
What? Them did it meet your
expectations, the meeting of that Penguin?
Did you get the access you thought you would?
Yeah, it runs around like high. Fives you and all you can get to
put your hands on, they show you.
So in the tour group, it was me in a load of kids with like
families with kids, and they show you like a little video,
give you all the facts about Ganto Penguins.
So they're like, this is the third biggest Penguin in the
world, identifiable by its white stripe above its head.
It's normally weighing about 5 kilogrammes.
Then they take you into a quiz on the video you just watched,
which is for the children. It is not for the the grown-ups.
It's for the kids. And let me tell you, I fucking
smoked one name close. Yeah.
They're like, and how do you know it's again to Penguin And
they're like, and I'm like, it's fucking straighten its head.
You watch the video. Yeah.
Fucking stupid wee bastard. So you're like the big man of
the. Eye wiper floral.
Stupid wee cunts. Yeah, I know my shit about
Penguins. Normally speak English.
The quiz in. English.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you meet the Peng.
How long do you get with the Penguin by 5?
Personal access or all the room personal access by 30?
Seconds. You can do.
A lot in 30 seconds. I'm not bucking the Penguins, I.
Respect them too much. Not in the Penguin play.
Did you think it was? Cute.
Yeah, they're. Very they're.
Surprisingly, they don't feel like what you think they would
feel like. How much would you?
How do you think a Penguin would feel?
Robbery. Robbery.
Wrong. Like a cat.
Very soft. Really.
Yeah. Hi.
Why would I lie? It's pro Adams that you're
lying. How much did you pay to meet the
Penguin? It was included in the price.
Of the aquarium thinks it was £60.
Gotta be. A boat tour with.
The clear bottom, like a glass bottom, went over the aquarium.
So they're all swimming. Underneath it there's a sharks.
There was sharks. They often when you're.
Going in the boat, yeah, the. Option was swim.
With a shot, she fell out of the boat.
Probably just leave you there to die.
That's. How most businesses mark there's
go, he's gone. He's he's lead by his shark
food. Now the option was made.
A Penguin or swim with. A shark and I almost swam with a
shark. How much without of me seem that
was the £60 that was the option. I don't that's too cheap to swim
with a. Shark.
I'd be uncomfortable see that I saw the video with the shark it.
Has like both its jaws broken so I was like I don't want to take
part in this literally shark right don't worry he's.
Harmless we've. Killed them yeah it was part of
the an animal encounter was included in the price.
You can swam of the shark met a Penguin chilled with the
crocodile. They had a big king crocodile
wasn't interested in that feed otters, right, Very.
That's the shit option. Yeah, yeah, that's the Penguins
aren't in but with otters. But yeah, I went.
With the Penguins so. They met one Penguin.
Her name was Moana. You went around you fatter.
She did like we tracks and stuff.
Then Nordic. Moana has to go Night.
And then the doors came up and about 10 Penguins flooded the
room. It was like a bag on court.
Fucking class. Class.
Yeah. You love it.
I love, I love Penguins. I love monkeys.
I love koalas. Cool guy, alert the.
Only animals I give a fuck about I'd.
Love to meet a monkey? Yeah, they're the only one next
on your. Yep.
What's the wee tiny ones called? Kapacho 1.
Kapachoon, Capricorns. Cinnamons.
Do you? Know the ones?
I mean, yeah, where did that? Where did they be?
I don't know. But if couldn't anyone get in
touch? With you make that happen.
Yeah, maybe the wee monkey. Like, I don't think there's any
animals I really. Want to meet that I haven't met?
What animals have you met? You're saying them like they're
actually koala kangaroo, Yeah. Kangaroos are Dicks.
The one I met was all right. He was all right was he helped
himself. I don't normally.
Like Arcane, but. He was an H fellow, He was nice.
He was different. The koala freak me out a bit.
You. Loved it, obviously.
Yeah, as well, if you got him. Is there any trips you'd like to
do this year, like anywhere else you'd like to go and see?
And I would love because you loved to be tripped.
Maybe not this. We've been an army one time in
my life. I'd love to go.
To Africa or Asia, like I know Dubai is Asia, but I mean, you
know, like you know. No.
Someone else like properties? You only like you know you want
to travel around or. I would love to do Korea.
Japan. That's what I want to do.
Maybe not Japanese. Apparently they're quite.
Racist. I want to do Korean.
I want to do see all. Tokyo.
Yeah, Thailand. Boys do Thailand.
You look like you're dressed for you're.
Dressed for it? No, not.
Your dress for you have a. Thailand face.
You have a Thailand face as. In I.
Work. In Thailand or I would go, you
look like you would, absolutely. Love it.
We still road trip to Thailand. You'll end up with the type,
right? I guarantee you.
Yeah. You look like a guy.
Who? Would go to a ping pong show but
set like this the whole time, yeah.
With a paddle that you brought, I look like a.
Guy who go to a ping. Pong show in Thailand and be
region that it wasn't two professional ping pong players
having a match yeah that's what you mean that's exactly a.
Few. Yeah, you're sitting there like
yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you threw it in the.
Majoring thanks. Can't have.
Outline Thailand. Vietnam.
That kind of backpack and travelling to humid not my I
would like to do Vietnam. But I don't know if they would
do tours of like the. War sites because I'd like if
they. Didn't.
That's mental. But they might not.
They would might. Be very sensitive for them.
Well, I'm sure they do. I'm sure they do it.
In a sensitive way. I'm sure it's not hosted by
their equipment of the Chuckle Brothers, you know, I'm sure it
is. Like.
Pretty. Serious.
Yeah, they're not in a. Slopstick.
A guy like. Steps in a trap is.
Goes where's the modest trap? Because I know they had a lot of
mental traps in Vietnam. Well.
I don't know, but I know but the.
Guys who didn't know the war was over.
These are the 90s or. Something they were like.
Someone saw them and they're like, shut the fuck up by it.
And I was like, man, for 30 years now it's been I called you
in for dinner. Do.
You not hear me? Yeah.
I think it's soul and solar seal.
So so. So where's that South?
Korea, South Korea, I would like to do that.
North Korea. I don't I'm.
Not interested, I'd like to go but as.
A VIP like as a mayor Kim Jong Un, yes, you know, like.
Be like, no, I'm chilling with. The big I don't want to go see
the purple you, him and Dennis Rodman.
And that outfit, you could be his mate.
Yeah, I do have a jacket. That I wear and I'm like, I
could be him. You look like a wee guy who gets
some sneakers. Like a wee sneaker.
Dealer for Kim. Jong UN, you're telling me if I
sent you a photo but. The hat back to front.
You're bringing, you're bringing Jordans into Pyang 100% if I
sent you a photo of me. Dennis Rodman and Kim Jong Un,
you would be like, that's a good night out.
What a podcast. Oh, be great.
Class. Dan has the question please.
Kim Jong Un, do you ever sock? Toes not a question, but.
Siobhan says. Wellness trends merging with sex
is increasing in popularity. Caressa the new trend she's
hearing about at the minute. So can we look that up?
Give me AI don't. Understand that is it like yoga
and you're 69 at the end of it? Caressa is a Western spiritual.
Practise that involves sexual intercourse without orgasm, Hey.
I've been doing that all. My life.
You mean they're meant to finish?
But. Tell me more about it.
That's not that is that's the guy shed at.
Sex but great at marketing yeah yeah yeah yeah sure you you
won't come but yeah yeah rejuvenate it yeah yeah I do
this magic thing where I. Make my Dick smaller before you
see it. Yeah, yeah.
But it's just I'm high. I hide a little.
Bit of Once we're done, I'll bring you a taxi.
But it's very, it's cleansing for the soap.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a Wellness taxi.
Yeah, I'm. Getting you a Wellness phone, a
cab here you. Spiritual guru.
Desi. We'll be right.
When you take, you take a retreat.
Back to your house? Yeah, Close your eyes.
Breathe in. Open them.
You're outside my house. Go away, Doug, you tell.
Me more about these Wellness so is.
Western practise similar to. Tantric techniques of orgasm
control intended to promote genuine affection and passion
between the lovers. Name of my rap?
Group. Yeah, intended.
To deepen the emotional and psychological connection between
the lovers. I don't.
Know how well that would do?
Your relationship No. Where you don't finish.
Yeah, yeah, I don't, I don't understand that.
And it's can she write in with a bit more information?
So that is it's you have it and then you both just go to bed
agitated. Why is that?
Well, the tantric thing, so. Sting was the.
Guy who everyone knew used to do the tantric thing having no
Trudy and I don't know if they still do, but he would like they
would like do it for months or they would just do it a bit and
then stop and do it a bit. That's just they're just
gooning. No, they're edging with a.
Partner. Yeah.
What's the between? Agent and Goonen.
What's Goonen? I think.
Goonen is when? You wank.
Too much goonen for me. So you.
Wank too much your. Goonen's When Goonen.
Is when you and your friends go search for a dead man's
treasure. Nowhere to love that Mackie
Bartlett, he would have what is gooning a term that can refer to
the act of. Consuming adult media for the
purpose of sexual gratification, but it's too much of it.
Extreme. Yeah, it's like when.
People are going to be like, I'll go do.
A Marvel marathon they're doing like a browser Fortnite that's
gooning, where's edging is the opposite, where you do it but
you don't finish. People have too much time in our
hands. Yeah, no one gooning.
I was like. A wife and kids.
I mean like it's 2 seconds. Daddy's gooning.
Just really tough managing the. Mortgage and then my mom's in
the hospital and I've got that gooning today.
I'm not. Going to do myself I'm.
Going to do. Myself, No one's going there for
me. Kim Jong.
Good. David.
Wants to know what food trends? Will we see in 2025?
Alfie Goon? Yeah.
What food trends? Yeah.
Any old shite? No, no, we're.
Going to get more food reviews by people who don't do food
reviews. Yeah, just don't.
Even try this place. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's industrial state and Carmani.
Yeah, that was the best Curry. Chip Yeah, yeah, that's that's
the food trends is any old shite.
I'm I'm bored. I need new foods.
I need to I need to get into new places because I go to a select
amount of places. Don't know why that is eating 2.
You two kinds of food ever. It's chicken and Percy Pig,
Yeah. Now I resist.
On the web dairy last night I stopped at the apple green and I
was like, I'll get a coffee and maybe a packet of Persies and I
didn't get the Persies. You also shouted at me when we
pulled. Up to a spar and I asked if you
wanted Persies. This guy here from a.
Spar, are you? Are you getting?
Percy picked into their. Marxes like exclusive to fair
Marxes that used to be in. Some super values.
So in super values you know the wee.
One near me you should. Be able to get them in there.
He near hit me. It's in all the Apple greens.
Apple green M&S have a have a club, have Adm and S food and
all the apple green brilliant he swung for me as I asked him if
he. Wanted Parsis don't do.
Can people tell me what to do in the way down?
The cork Today me, Calvin and Jordy are going to cork.
We need to break the dragon. Where do we stop just.
Audio of porn. The whole way down, the three of
us sitting in the car. I need to know where to stop.
Yeah, I need. Probably when you.
Get the court. That's when I'd stop.
Would you do the whole? Would you run?
Dog will. Drive.
Would you drive the whole Dr? They'd stop.
No, it's like a condom. What do you mean?
Whatever dog obviously like without stopping to break.
Up the trip or you'll get some later.
You would just drive it. We'd probably stop for something
to eat. Yeah, some gritty.
Little pig man. But that's what I'm going.
Is there like a good? Place to stop.
Yeah, you know people like you need to check this.
So everyone send in your suggestions.
For where to stop, what food to get, what's good, what to order,
he will ignore all of that and go to Nando's.
And we're going to probably go to Nando's at yeah.
Not swords. What's the other one?
Somewhere else Near the airport, Closer to Dublin?
No Near Yes. Near Lusk it's not so known on
the way pastor you basically like turn off just before the
airport on off a ring Rd and then it's there.
There's an Omni plan edge at all this trip.
Am I going to what you're going to edge on the?
Trip you probably. Yeah, I'll.
Just do like 7 minutes of material of the R and then just
leave the stage. What the fuck?
I'm like I just edge material. Do you guys we did them just do
punch lines. We did.
A gig. Speaking of punch lines, we've
been doing. University of Ulster student
unions all week. You did last night.
We're old as fuck. You're old as fuck.
Even you're old compared. To those guys, man, you're not
talking to your people there. You're not.
They see Willie T as an old guy. They see him as a sort of.
Cold Sherpa, they do. Not see you as a cold.
Sherpa, at least three people as I was.
Leaving last one when there's the cold sharpa.
So yes, they do. Yeah, I'll say this, right, Uni
students do this annoying thing where they still think that
their dreams will happen. So when I went last night, Does
anyone have a degree that's worthwhile?
One person put their hand up and when I do cinematic art and
people like applaud. And people are like, very good.
And I'm like life. Hasn't shed on you yet.
Wait till your bollocks get kicked in and you're working the
night shift at a spar. I noticed that.
Tell me. How much art matters?
People coming. In asking for Percy pigs.
There was last night I was sending you on the way home.
You would start a sub. You would start a bit of
material about a subject that was like 2% edgy or
controversial. Yeah.
And you would like, you would from like a very small many
people. But I could still see it at all
the gigs. You would get this face.
They would look at their friends like this.
Like, I mean, you can come on stage.
And say any. Darkies and which I told you not
to do. I told them not to do so.
They did take out weird. Yeah, I.
You would. The annoying thing is I'd rather
they sat like that for the whole show at the Rolling Regiment.
But then they'd be laugh on the crowd of the Undertaker.
They'd be laughing. At the end so.
You're like just give it a chance.
It's not even controvert. There's nothing bad in it.
Yeah, but like you would mention anything and it would just from
a few people you could see that kind of like Shane are.
You are you starting to go down the path of you can't say
anything anymore? I'm just saying no but.
I've. Just been to snow flaky for you?
I just mean you. Can see it more now that thing
of like because obviously your joke is going to be, you know,
taking. The piss out of that.
Thing or it's not going to be like harsh yeah I don't know how
to describe it but it's like cut off at the past for a lot of
people yeah I think do you think you're going to start going down
an. Edgier Rd.
I'm going to be edgy. I'm going to be the new.
Burner money yeah you gain 12 stone become.
Burners became so fat. Who do you prefer?
Burner, Manning and Burner. Matthews, Burner Manning.
That one. More question to finish it off
please not question but some. Suggestions for food please.
So David says it's Dundalk on the way, Brewery pizza, toasty
place. Moshar looks good.
I don't. Really want to turn off.
It has to be on the motorway really.
No. Is that the one that is a?
McDonald's And is it Camille the type?
Please no. Where is it?
Is the ongoing because? You can't go to the.
Mexican place if he is. What paint me a picture here?
We've got a maximum place, Mexican.
Chopped salad. Supermax.
Oh, so it's a Plaza? Yeah.
Right, I'm with you, Apple Green.
Because Caldera. Village is nice.
To a market. I want you know, I don't want to
sit. In like an.
Avoca don't want to sit. I want fast food.
And then I can. Right?
OK, we're going Nandos. Yeah, I know where you're.
This is why you don't ever take it.
No, you don't try anything. It's not.
You got a black card recently? No, then I got the kebab.
House in the Omer Rd. Hang on, I'll find out what
they're called. Probably.
Yeah, I got a black. So they approached Willy T and
they said what? We want to hook you up made do.
They're basically. Do you like kebabs?
We can see that you do. Do you want a block card for it?
Of course you do, peg boy. It's called Kebab Company
Belfast. And what does that entitle you
to? Free meals for life.
You just get. Is it a physical card?
And you just get anything that's good, whatever I want free.
Delivery if I'm in the BT1, the BT 15 area?
No, unfortunately I'm not. But you're being serious.
Free delivery. That's so like if I'm ever stuck
for a leftover. Time I'm going to get a kebab
and. Then.
Put a black card on me like take.
Me. What is Willie tea?
I'm not a kebab. Yeah.
What does Willie Tea get in a kebab?
I get a Mex kebab. Chilli sauce.
So chips are the best, No naan, right?
Yeah. Naan bread.
All right, I like the.
Authentic Indian. Experience so I get naan bread
next me I get all the meats everything that's there threw it
all in chilli sauce. We better cheese any veg in
that. Yeah, I get.
The salad because you're it's. Free.
You're paying for it anyway. Fuck, just fuck some onions in
that naan salad. A load of meat.
Chilli sauce. Yeah, some cheese.
Great, great time. You never had a kebab 2-3 times
in my life. Patreon.
Special. Courtesy of the.
Kebab Company. Belfast Fight Club and then at
the. End of For the main event, I eat
a kebab. Yeah.
Which is maybe a kebab, yeah, but but damn is hears me in
books. Khabib, can we do?
Yeah. You have a fucking head.
Kicked. In.
Somehow I went pork now. Eubanks, the judge.
Yeah, I give it to Shane. Can you actually do?
You might not that voice. I think for a time I could.
Do quite a real boy, a gangster, I think.
For a while I could do quite a good.
Chris Eubank? Which one?
Like a sweetie. I would need to hear him speak a
little bit more. Do you ever say he's really
intense? Neither.
He's always been intense. Nobody's.
Really. Really.
Intense. Why would you speak like that?
You're a crisper loud. You're like the League of
Gentlemen. That's kind of what he's like.
Yeah, it's like a gentleman's guy.
He has my nose. Time.
You have the ladies, gentlemen. Nose is what I mean.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what kind of people
you have? The I.
Need an actual rope to time member?
You know the kind of people you have the nose.
Off mom, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do into that.
Camera people who run Hollywood. That's a you have the news of
charity Shop coffee. Shops.
Willie, is there anything you want to plug and.
Promote. We obviously want to plug SSE.
That's 20. 3rd of May. I take it and take a master.
In the. UK 20. 1st, 22nd, 23rd of March.
I'm in Liverpool, Edinburgh and Glasgow.
Tech is available. William Thompson, comedy.com
with my show Scumbag Millionaire that many are calling the best
show I've ever done. Last chance to see the show,
Yeah. Last chance to see the show.
And I will also be in the Edinburgh Festival in August
with my new show. What's it going to be?
Called Called yet. I know what.
We were talking about that earlier.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's.
Going to be that show. Yeah.
It's called William Thompson Gooding Live.
Yeah, that'll be great. Yeah, guys.
Thank you very much for watching, listening.
Take us for the SSE, still available.
Yeah, I see and. We'll be back tomorrow.
At slightly later time, back tomorrow at noon.
With my guest. Mickey.
Bartlett and our boxing expert. Aaron Butler, who's going to
give us the. Real breakdown of Conor McGregor
and Paul Hughes. See you then Willie T Thank you
for coming in brother. I actually do like the T-shirt.
I'll be honest. And you've got yourself a new
help. I love you bro.
Is there anything? See you next time guys is.
There anything when you don't TuneIn for more life being
serious is. There anything when?
You don't. Yeah, your present guys.
We will be back tomorrow. See you later.