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I'm Michael. 
Che and I'm Colin Jose, and 

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we've got a little secret. 
Actually, it's a pretty big 

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secret. 
Well, now you got to give the 

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people something. 
I'm not saying a word. 

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Oh, then people will know to 
tune in. 

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Come on, tell them a little. 
Like how we're hosting of comedy

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00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,640
events streaming only on 
Peacock, exactly how it's called

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New York After Dark and it's a 
comedy show that only features 

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drop in comic. 
Boom, you nail. 

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Into Michael Chase phone 
numbers. 

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Whoa, whoa, whoa. 
Hey, hey, hey. 

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New York After Dark. 
It's some kind of comedy thing, 

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and it's streaming now only on 
Peacock. 

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You love it. 
Zippers, welcome to this episode

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00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:39,040
of the Tea with Me podcast with 
me, little old she and Todd. 

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Before we get stuck in to 
another episode, another one, 

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let me just give a big shout out
to our sponsors. 

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But before all, before I did 
that, let me plug 

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patreon.com/tea With Me podcast 
where you get all the bonus 

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content. 
You get a bonus episode on a 

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Monday. 
On a Friday, we do a live stream

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episode and that means anything 
goes. 

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It is genuinely live. 
The chat bar is open. 

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You can ask a question, suggest 
a topic, and you can give a 

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shout out to your uncle who's in
Maghaberry. 

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Whatever it is you want to do, 
you can do it. 

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And we have some great guests on
that. 

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Last week I literally shaved the
guest's head for charity. 

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So Patreon, the conference team 
with Me podcast, you can check 

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that out. 
Our sponsors are as follows. 

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Panjana. 
Look, if you're in Bhankrani, 

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you drink panjana. 
If you're in any location, you 

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should be drinking panjana. 
The number one selling tea in 

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Northern Ireland, the Thompson's
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They've been making tea since 
the 1800s, since mediaeval, the 

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Middle Ages, the Roman, when the
Roman Empire was in full swing, 

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they were drinking panjana. 
The Thompson family were 

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knocking around making tea. 
And the Romans, you know, they 

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were ruthless, but they spared 
the Thompson family because they

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said go forward and make this 
beautiful tea. 

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Thompson's family taste all 
their tea themselves. 

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They don't use third party 
mouths, they use first party 

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mouths. 
They taste it. 

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They give a thumbs up or a 
thumbs down. 

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And that goes into Northern 
Ireland's number one selling 

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tea. 
No hard sell on this. 

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There's no discount code, 
there's no online service for 

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this. 
It's literally a case of go to 

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your local supermarket, buy some
panjana tea and enjoy yourself, 

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have a party, enjoy your uncle 
coming back from Maghaberry and 

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have a toast with a cup of 
panjana. 

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We're also sponsored by 
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And what that is is a little 
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charge wirelessly if you want, 
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Lawnmower 3 point O had wired 
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He thought this is wireless 
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that means there's no wires 
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ball wipes, Canon ball, whatever
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it's in it Perfect. 
If you're, you know, doing a bit

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of travelling, maybe if you're 
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you're going to be tased for 
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No manscape.com, you just go tea
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shipping. 
Let's get stuck into this 

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episode. 
The guest episodes. 

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The line UPS have been sent from
heaven with our brilliant guests

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00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,600
and we're going to continue to 
do that. 

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My guest today and I are doing a
show in London next weekend at 

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Leicester Square Theatre. 
Some tickets are still 

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available. 
I'm warning you, it's going to 

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sell out. 
My guest is Colin Gettis, the 

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man behind Lavery's comedy club 
I Am Fighter. 

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A lot of phenomenal comedy 
throughout the years and a good 

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mate of mine. 
I did his podcast last week he's

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doing mine this week and that's 
just what we love to see. 

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We're going to have a lot of fun
on this enjoy this episode of 

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the TV podcast with my friend 
Colin get us also pitch on the 

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com such TV me podcast if you if
you let God do you. 

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My guest is Colin get us Colin. 
We've got to kick off talking 

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about the big story. 
If you're on, we've got to talk 

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about Messi leaving Barcelona I.
Mean when he when he got on that

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podium and cried, I was so 
erect. 

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It was like, you know when you 
leave a summer scheme you need 

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to do a summer scheme and you 
make new friends and you go, 

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we'll always stay mates and then
you just never see them again. 

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I just, you just care. 
I just prowled around summer 

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schemes just like a lone wolf 
because I would just, you know, 

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you pick three sessions. 
They're like, do you want to go 

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swimming, play football, 
whatever. 

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And I would just go play 
football every time and smash 

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people, run through them and 
leave. 

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At the end of the day, we're 
about fucking 34 goals. 

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In the back in your early 20s. 
I've essentially looked the same

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for about 21 years now. 
Yeah, I feel like who are you 

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here to pick up kids? 
It's one of your taxis. 

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That said summer schemes. 
I mean, if you thought I'd know 

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you're probably paying 250 a 
day, unlimited activities and 

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refreshments. 
Like that's unbelievable that 

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now I. 
Wonder how much a summer scheme 

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is now? 
It's probably 40 grand. 

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Yeah, like when our kids 
eventually go on Summer Games 

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plus with health and safety. 
Oh yeah, They'll not be allowed 

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to do anything, you know what I 
mean? 

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It'll be like arts and crafts 
and. 

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Oh yeah, they'll be doing like 
we're doing. 

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Yeah, sign language, just like 
what's like virtual football. 

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Yeah, everyone's got the goggles
on. 

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What other bullshit do you do? 
Not touch gaming, just gaming. 

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I I always made friends the 
summer scheme and then vowed 

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that we would always stay in 
touch and then just never, just 

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never did. 
I'll see you next summer. 

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Yeah, I remember there was a guy
called Stuart McGee I became 

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mates with and he wrote, he 
wrote his number down, which is 

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kind of, you know, forward, but 
he wrote Smart McGee so I never 

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phoned him. 
Instead of Stewart Mcgay instead

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of Stewart Mcgay. 
Ironically, not so smart. 

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No, no, no, not at all. 
Thick Mcgay. 

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Summer schemes were so good so. 
Good. 

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Yeah. 
And there was always, you know, 

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there would, there would just 
be, there would have these like 

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leaders that were like probably 
17. 

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Yeah. 
And you were always like fuck. 

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Look at her. 
Because she's remotely older. 

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Oh my God. 
And she fancies me. 

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That actually happened to me one
time. 

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There was some summer scheme 
thing and they were like should 

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you join our table, whatever. 
I remember sitting down with us 

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a bit of food and like pulling 
up the edge of the table. 

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There's all other kids and like 
2 leaders and like my knee 

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touched her knee and I was like 
well someone's pregnant now, you

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know what I mean? 
And it's not her. 

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I just remember like fucking 
freezing on the spot. 

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I was like, well, what happens 
now? 

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How's summer scheme? 
I remember doing a football 

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summer scheme and the guy who 
ran it, my dad picked me up and 

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then we saw the guy who was 
running it and the guy goes, 

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this your son and my diagnose, I
was watching him today goes he 

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didn't play too well. 
He goes I get my Dick and he 

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gets back to the house and the 
guy got deadly serious. 

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I was like, don't be hitting the
kids to my dad was like very 

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much made a point of life. 
We hit them here. 

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Yeah, yeah. 
Or it's safe, that's what I'll 

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hit him a Dick. 
Yeah, the guy was like, no, 

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don't you know what I mean? 
As if like. 

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This your dad fucking no shut 
down. 

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Yeah, you missed. 
Do you think when your son gets 

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older place maybe play sports 
and things like that, what sort 

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of die will you be? 
You'd be like, just stand back 

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or you reckon you'd you know. 
Well, I saw a clip of it was 

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like college wrestling in 
America and one guy left the 

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other guy and sort of 
unnecessarily drop them a bit on

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his head, nearly that aggressive
and the die comes out from the 

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sideline and just spear tackles 
under the floor. 

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That'll probably be me. 
Yeah, just fucking empty some 

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teenager. 
If someone did the my son, I 

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would just be I bet you do his 
mom over e-mail after you know. 

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Over e-mail? 
Not even in person. 

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No what's? 
Your home life like horrible 

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state as comp but I said he 
like, you know, Eddie got a wasp

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on his arm and I near kicked his
arm off. 

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Yeah, yeah. 
You know, he's trying to be 

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protective. 
Nearly killed him. 

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Yeah. 
I mean, the difference there is 

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if that was the case, I just 
make sure I'm OK first. 

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Yeah. 
And then I'd be like, OK, are 

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you all right? 
You know, it's because it's like

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that's, that's what you're 
supposed to do on a plane. 

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Wasp lands on your wife, you 
throw the baby at her. 

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Yeah. 
I don't know if you've seen 

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pictures of them, but I. 
Wouldn't be able to throw a 

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weights belt I. 
Wouldn't be able to throw them, 

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yeah. 
Trying to get them off the 

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floor. 
We're doing a gig in London. 

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We're going to in in like a week
and a half, two weeks. 

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Do we have anywhere to stay yet?
Just. 

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Drop in my head. 
Just drop this guy's name in my 

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bed. 
I think the closer you get to go

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in and then you book it, don't 
worry that'll but that's they're

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trying to get you by making this
book early. 

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Well, I've thought a lot about 
that. 

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That's how I was thinking 
recently. 

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And then I tried to book like a 
stag day for someone, right? 

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00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:41,520
Nightmare Is this a new 
freelance service you're 

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00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,440
offering? 
Who, you going on the stag or 

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00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:44,680
you? 
Just don't go on the stag. 

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00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:48,960
Yeah, my contribution so far was
we just got a lot of shed 

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00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,280
shirts. 
Yeah, yeah. 

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00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:53,200
Where where you having it? 
The North Coast don't give too 

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00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:57,280
much away. 
OK, what was the rush? 

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00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:00,040
Or is it government state? 
What's that sketch? 

202
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,720
Yeah, the North Coast. 
Can't really say where, but 

203
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:04,800
like, you know, it's going to be
one of a couple of places. 

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00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:09,680
Balamani, I love stags. 
I don't think I've ever been on 

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00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:10,600
one. 
Yeah. 

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00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:14,480
Yeah, they're just, I think when
you, I think if you went to one 

207
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,680
when you were younger, it'd be 
like carnage. 

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00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:19,200
But I think once you get to 
about 30 and you go on a stag, 

209
00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:21,880
it's a right amount of fun. 
It's a right amount because if 

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you wrapping it up by 10:00 PM. 
Yeah, if you said something like

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00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:27,600
I'm having a nap before we go 
out here, it wouldn't be like 

212
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:31,080
fucking. 
Well, Dave went became on my 

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00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:34,120
stag and was I think the only 
one with a baby at that point. 

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And we arrived and he was like, 
you know, he had what he calls 

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00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,400
his party shades on it'd. 
Be awkward at the stag just 

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carrying a baby. 
Around he had the Hawaiian shirt

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00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:45,400
and he bought bought himself a 
bottle of Bok fast as soon as we

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00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:46,840
arrived. 
All these grand plans. 

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00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:49,840
And then he reaches up an hour 
later, he's like here, I'm going

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00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:51,760
to have a nap for a while. 
And then he seemed to nap for 

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00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:54,280
the three days and nobody can 
understand it. 

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00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:55,640
And I was like, what are you 
doing? 

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00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,840
And I think Holly's daughter was
only maybe like 6 months at this

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00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:00,760
point. 
I was like, come on, you're in 

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00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:03,360
New Yorker, like, let's go out. 
He's like, I physically can't 

226
00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:06,360
and he got so much abuse for it 
and then as soon as that a kid I

227
00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:07,920
was like, I absolutely 
understand. 

228
00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:09,000
Like he. 
Didn't have the energy. 

229
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,440
To go out, he just didn't have 
the energy. 

230
00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:14,040
He saw a bed, realised it was 
his for three days and went 

231
00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:18,120
well, I could go on a pedal with
19 guys or I could just sleep 

232
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:19,280
here. 
So he just slept. 

233
00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:22,880
That was like the time my dad 
got an operation on fire whose 

234
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:26,480
veins on his legs and they 
literally were like, we really 

235
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:27,920
struggle to wake you up there, 
Paul. 

236
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:31,720
And he was like, I was just 
fucking knackered, you know what

237
00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,040
I mean? 
Hospital bed themselves. 

238
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:37,520
He's like shaking them and all 
you dead, Mr Cattles, these if 

239
00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:44,680
you've locked off, I'm slapped 
in for 22 years, you're. 

240
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:46,720
Just asking for more shit to be 
done. 

241
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,240
Take a look at my bollocks right
over here. 

242
00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:53,920
Take that leg off. 
I don't really. 

243
00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:56,680
Take it, go back in and check. 
I don't know what's going on. 

244
00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:00,320
I The last time we went away was
probably Raffle. 

245
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:05,080
Probably raffle all those years 
ago or no, maybe Galway. 

246
00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:07,040
Yeah, what? 
I like that. 

247
00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:09,680
Was weird too. 
Like, I feel like we need to go 

248
00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:12,480
somewhere where you can actually
enjoy yourself. 

249
00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:15,400
Yeah, the Galway thing was like,
morning was about to have a baby

250
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:19,840
and I was like, right fucking. 
I remember you, she like just 

251
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,280
like literally about to have a 
baby. 

252
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:23,640
You were in Galway and I 
remember you were maybe 

253
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:26,600
organising her to like come down
like at the train down and 

254
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,400
you're like, look, if she has a 
baby, I could just drive back 

255
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,840
sick 4 hours. 
I have palpitations for that. 

256
00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:33,280
And I knew I was like, it's 
going to happen as soon as you 

257
00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:35,400
hit stage. 
I don't want to, you know, bring

258
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:39,560
up the word hormones, but women 
be crazy, you know what I mean? 

259
00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,560
Around that sort of time, it's 
like, do you want to? 

260
00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:42,640
I was like, do you want to go to
this? 

261
00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:43,680
You know, we can stay in a nice 
hotel. 

262
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,360
It'll be lovely. 
And she's like, no, no, it's a 

263
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:48,400
bit late, whatever. 
And then as soon as I was down 

264
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,880
there it was like, I think we 
might come up on the train and I

265
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:54,360
was like mental behaviour. 
And it was on the last day. 

266
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:57,400
I was like, I'm basically coming
home tonight and you're going to

267
00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,640
come up. 
Today we went for so many nice 

268
00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:02,320
walks and that you know, it's 
funny out after gigs. 

269
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,120
Like, obviously at festivals, 
you meet up with other 

270
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:06,600
comedians. 
You see each other for the first

271
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,640
time in a couple of years. 
You have drinks. 

272
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:11,680
I remember every night going 
back to the hotel and you'd see 

273
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:12,960
comedians going out for the 
night. 

274
00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:14,480
Yeah. 
And then nothing made me 

275
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,960
happier. 
And I was like, you'll be paying

276
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:18,080
for this tomorrow. 
Oh, yeah. 

277
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:20,040
You know, just getting them for 
that half 10 sleep. 

278
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:25,680
I know it's you're very like I I
struggle to contain it right. 

279
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,720
You know the what you know. 
Like of course I would love to 

280
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:30,280
fucking rager every. 
Single night and I struggle to 

281
00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,760
make it look like I want to do 
that Oh yeah You know, I give 

282
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,480
the impression I'm like Oh yeah,
we'll go she. 

283
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:38,080
Does a lot of that, yeah. 
That was like the. 

284
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:42,400
Blowing out cocaine. 
Sorry, goes everywhere I chew 

285
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:45,240
Crohn's. 
You know what? 

286
00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:48,200
I mean. 
Fucking I'm always, I'm always 

287
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:49,440
putting poppers into a plant 
pot. 

288
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:56,120
Oh yeah, no, lovely. 
That's why I'm going back early 

289
00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:58,480
just now. 
Poppers in a bath. 

290
00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:02,120
Here, tell you what I don't 
know. 

291
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:03,720
I think it's banned. 
I remember having the flu one 

292
00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:05,640
time having couple of night 
nurse. 

293
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:07,880
Oh, I think you're going to say 
and someone recommended pop. 

294
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,520
No, I'm just talking about, you 
know, safe drugs you can take in

295
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:11,600
the home, please. 
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

296
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:12,960
And a couple of night nurse and 
got a bath. 

297
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,240
Nearly couldn't get out of the 
fucking bath. 

298
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,920
Yeah, it's fucked. 
Just thing we're like the same 

299
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,640
thing with your dad. 
Just real, just real drowsy. 

300
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:22,680
Good to get the head. 
Shot in it. 

301
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:26,640
London's going to be. 
London's going to be a lot of 

302
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:31,560
fun because when I go do gigs, I
know how you travel. 

303
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,360
When you travel, you go to your 
school, you bring an opener 

304
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:35,080
sometimes, well, which makes it 
easier. 

305
00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:38,320
I like my own company. 
What do you mean definitely not 

306
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,560
easier? 
What do you think? 

307
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:42,920
Let me bring a fucking 6 foot 
two child with me. 

308
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:47,280
Do you need the toilet? 
Strapping in an old plane and. 

309
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:49,440
Can we? 
Can we an extender please? 

310
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:53,000
Does he sit on his knee in the 
plane with his own his own belt?

311
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,840
He sits on everyone else's knee.
Everyone's knee on the fucking 

312
00:14:55,840 --> 00:15:01,800
row. 
But it's that thing of like, I 

313
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:06,160
like my own company, but there's
such a lead up to gigs, you 

314
00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:09,360
know, there's like 3-4 hours 
beforehand to go back to hotel. 

315
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:11,360
Do you sleep for an hour or what
do you do? 

316
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,800
So it would be nice to just be 
together. 

317
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,400
Just chill out, Yeah, I mean 
you. 

318
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:17,760
Want to do a ghoster or 
something? 

319
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:20,240
No. 
Ghost. 

320
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:21,960
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 
Haunted. 

321
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,680
London, the height of it will be
like go out the front of the 

322
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:27,600
hotel and go, do you want to go 
such? 

323
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:29,400
And that's not be like, yeah, 
but we could also just go to 

324
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:30,880
this Starbucks. 
Do you Remember Me? 

325
00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:33,440
You and Mickey went to Glasgow 
for a gig and went to see a 

326
00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:35,120
movie at half 10 in the morning.
Brilliant. 

327
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:38,640
And the movie was 10 out of 10. 
It was differ from American. 

328
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,000
Pie the goon. 
Yeah. 

329
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:41,440
And it was like an ice hockey 
movie. 

330
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:42,840
Massively underrated movie it 
was. 

331
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:44,520
Class yeah, I was like, this is 
the best. 

332
00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:46,640
And then we came out of that 
being like, let's, let's go to 

333
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,120
this gig. 
And then we're like, it's half 

334
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,480
11 in the morning. 
I tried that again a few years 

335
00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:51,440
later. 
Right. 

336
00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:54,080
I want to see Venom, right? 
And I just, I just remember 

337
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:56,160
getting about 8 phone calls 
during it in the morning. 

338
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:58,720
Like I had to go out and be like
hello, yeah, I just missed the 

339
00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:00,480
whole movie really. 
Yeah, I don't think I missed 

340
00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:03,440
much, but. 
Me and Dave were at the Fringe 

341
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:06,240
and went to see anything that 
was on real early in the 

342
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:07,840
morning, and we couldn't check 
in yet. 

343
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:10,200
And it was a movie. 
It was like about twisters, but 

344
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,800
hurricanes. 
And there was just a real 

345
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,880
emotional storyline. 
And me and him both nearly cried

346
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:17,560
during it, and I just weren't 
right for the rest of the day. 

347
00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:20,080
So yeah, I think we should do 
like a dot like Nilescomb. 

348
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,440
We should do a dungeon tour. 
He'll probably want to go to 

349
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:25,000
Harley Street and get fillers or
something. 

350
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,760
You know, like get a little bit 
of rearrangement done on the 

351
00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:28,320
face. 
But. 

352
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:30,840
Get a bit of tox. 
Yeah, a bit of Botox. 

353
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:33,200
But I don't know, like what's 
your, what's your vibe like? 

354
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,760
What do you see? 
Do you see us like? 

355
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,520
I mean, my vibe is like, you 
know, let's do exciting things, 

356
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,960
but then the reality of London 
is you get on 2 tubes and you're

357
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:43,520
just like, I wouldn't need 
cocaine now. 

358
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:45,520
Yeah, that's why everyone in 
this city is on. 

359
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:47,160
Gear Alton Towers like. 
A knock? 

360
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:50,240
Where's that in London? 
Don't know, that's a challenge. 

361
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:51,480
You're like, let's go. 
Where do you want to go, 

362
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,040
Butlins? 
It's where's in London, but it's

363
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:54,240
like it's England, you know what
I mean? 

364
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:57,600
Like it's like Belfast. 
We could get to it, We could get

365
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,520
to it. 
I'm sure there's something like 

366
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:01,000
Brighton. 
Yeah, yeah. 

367
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,360
That's. 
Just a trip somewhere. 

368
00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:05,480
OK. 
What we'll do, I don't know. 

369
00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:07,760
I'll tell you right now, we'll 
just go for like 2 pints 

370
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:08,680
somewhere. 
Yeah, yeah. 

371
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:12,200
They'll be like get a carvery 
and then not not do the gig. 

372
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:15,319
Carvery Yeah, Where are you, 
fucking Tyrone? 

373
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:19,119
I bring my own plate. 
They're like Partridge 12 inch 

374
00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:23,480
plate. 
Bring your own fucking bread, 

375
00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:26,119
probably. 
Last Oh yeah 100% be bringing my

376
00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:27,599
own bread. 
Will you break? 

377
00:17:27,599 --> 00:17:29,320
Will you bring any supplements 
with you know, will you bring 

378
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:33,360
anything with you to on this 
trip like fucking sachets of. 

379
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,440
I'll bring a sachet of almond 
butter from a. 

380
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:36,240
Almond. 
Butter. 

381
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:37,600
Yep, from a porridge in the 
morning. 

382
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:40,520
Need to get oats? 
You put the butter. 

383
00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:43,080
In the porridge, No. 
I get something to do for me, 

384
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:44,640
but I have it. 
Yeah. 

385
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:47,600
Almond butter and porridge. 
Porridge, berries, banana, 

386
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:49,280
almond butter. 
Straight in. 

387
00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:51,640
Mix it all together. 
Oh, right. 

388
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,120
Sorry. 
I was getting very confused 

389
00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:54,120
there. 
What were you thinking? 

390
00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:55,360
I'm like peanut, like a nut 
butter. 

391
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:57,120
All right, I thought. 
I thought it was like some sort 

392
00:17:57,120 --> 00:18:01,880
of butter replacement. 
Just me with a big pound of 

393
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:04,120
Curry made walking through 
London. 

394
00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:06,640
Got to get the cows in somehow, 
you know what I mean? 

395
00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:09,480
And yeah, I know it's going to 
be fun. 

396
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:13,200
Leicester Square Theatre, which 
is like any event, any times 

397
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,240
we've done London before, like 
separately or? 

398
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:16,840
Together. 
So did you say your agent was 

399
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:18,360
going to come and then he had to
leave by 10? 

400
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:21,880
Something like that. 
Something like that, Yeah. 

401
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,080
Have you met this guy before? 
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

402
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,440
What's his name? 
His name is well, I don't know. 

403
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,400
He's just he hang. 
He's from Soho. 

404
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:31,560
Just a guy that's come to see me
and says he's got big plans. 

405
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:33,440
No, yeah, no. 
I'm. 

406
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:35,600
Going to get you some good work.
Yeah, no, no, no. 

407
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,760
Yeah, He's going to abroad. 
He's going to come see the set 

408
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:40,320
because I did that thing of 
thinking, well, anyone who lives

409
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,160
in England can just come to the 
show and it'll be handy. 

410
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:45,800
And then he's like, I live 100 
miles away or whatever. 

411
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:50,520
So, yeah, see my set go because 
she'll start half nine. 

412
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:53,160
Yeah, that's late. 
Does he want to hang around and 

413
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:59,880
get in our client? 
I'd get the photo like if you 

414
00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:03,600
could maybe lose like fucking 50
lbs and get hair transplant, 

415
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:10,160
come back looking like fucking 
Harvey Price because I, you 

416
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,720
know, I would get an offer. 
What a die. 

417
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:17,360
Last week in the studio, I see 
of Jordan Robinson's head did. 

418
00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:18,840
You wash it first. 
That was my concern. 

419
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:21,280
Luscious, Luscious. 
Luscious. 

420
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:24,560
Yeah, real nice. 
And I'll tell you what I'm going

421
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:28,360
to say this very clean ears. 
Really, very clean ears. 

422
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:30,280
Yeah. 
You probably know if you're 

423
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:32,960
going to get your head shaved on
a podcast, you will do a bit of 

424
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:35,760
work beforehand. 
But like, Oh yeah, real nice. 

425
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,400
I've got very clean ears. 
It's all right. 

426
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:39,760
No hair? 
There's no. 

427
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:40,920
Is that what? 
You're going to say to my agent.

428
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:44,200
One of my main pleasures in life
is putting one of those cotton 

429
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,600
blood things down my pesser and 
then. 

430
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:50,680
I couldn't do that in a million 
years. 

431
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:54,680
Put it in yourself. 
No, no, I'd be a fear, like 

432
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:57,280
hitting something like a wee bit
of my brain or you know. 

433
00:19:57,840 --> 00:19:59,480
There's plenty. 
There's a bit more to travel 

434
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,080
before it hit your brain, you 
know what I mean? 

435
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:04,360
Fuck sake. 
No, it's a nice feeling but I've

436
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,800
I've never had any do. 
Your eyes go back up in your 

437
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:08,080
head like the undertaker when 
you do it. 

438
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:13,960
Yeah, because you're like, oh, 
at the same time, that's the 

439
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,000
thing. 
If you had a cotton button, your

440
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,560
ear, you'd get like sucked off 
and figured in the ass. 

441
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:21,440
You would just die of pleasure. 
That's where you want to go? 

442
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:25,680
Yeah, like. 
On the top like Elvis and I'm 

443
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:28,360
not eating. 
I'm just like 2 of them coming 

444
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:33,080
over here. 
You go for a COVID test. 

445
00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:38,200
Every day I arrive on my own. 
Like in my ears already. 

446
00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:41,120
Go ahead. 
I haven't had a COVID test yet. 

447
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,400
That's all right. 
You want to get one. 

448
00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:50,800
Yeah, you shaved his head. 
What was he? 

449
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,560
What was he donating? 
The two fucking? 

450
00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:57,960
Princesses trust, I think, which
is like they they make wigs, 

451
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,560
kid, they make wigs, which is 
very nice. 

452
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:03,120
He said to me. 
He said to me it has to be at 

453
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,640
least nine inches. 
Right. 

454
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:12,480
And I went What about the hair? 
I am so. 

455
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,280
Comedy, you know. 
I did my own COVID test for a 

456
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:18,240
while a couple of times and then
had to get it done and the 

457
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:21,560
difference in the amount of 
application you put into your 

458
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:24,360
own and then when someone does 
it the railway is night and day.

459
00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:26,680
So I was like this is fine why 
are people complaining? 

460
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:29,960
Got it done somewhere before 
like travelling and the cotton 

461
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:33,200
but had my tonsils and nearly 
vomited and a lot of people. 

462
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,920
What were you done before? 
Just like put it in. 

463
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:36,560
You're also like. 
Oh, yeah, touch. 

464
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:38,520
I don't have, like, touching it 
just a bit. 

465
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:42,160
And they're like right up there.
Yeah, they're Stephen, Stephen 

466
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:44,040
Davis, you know, fully, like 
fully. 

467
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:51,160
Go for the wee bit of chalk, 
yeah, but no, the the when. 

468
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:53,640
When it's done properly, it's 
absolutely brutal. 

469
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:55,160
Do we have to do anything ahead 
of London? 

470
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,240
Do you have to like register in 
something or something? 

471
00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:59,600
No, no, no, no, no. 
We just got to show up and look 

472
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:01,600
good. 
OK, That's all we've got to do. 

473
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:06,200
Have you had any weird airport 
sort of things in your? 

474
00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:08,040
There's nothing, There's 
nothing. 

475
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,720
You just travel as normal. 
I think it's if you're going 

476
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:14,960
somewhere far, you know, if 
you're going, if you're going 

477
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:16,840
Turkey. 
In the far away. 

478
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:19,640
If you're going far away, but if
you're going closely close, you 

479
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,680
don't have to do anything. 
It's just normal. 

480
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:23,760
Class never tell you about the 
time I was coming through 

481
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:27,640
Belfast International which if 
they knew I'd be happy with the 

482
00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:30,000
guy. 
You know there's like the ex cop

483
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:33,200
on the fucking podium. 
Pretend that he's a policeman. 

484
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:39,360
All right with that podium. 
Well this dude was like. 

485
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:42,200
You mean as you as you walk? 
There's like a fake cop who 

486
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,600
probably like was drinking on 
the job and they're like, we 

487
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,120
can't sack you, but you fucking 
you can work in the airport for 

488
00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:48,920
your sins. 
He's like, could you stop this 

489
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:49,960
way, please, Sir? 
And I was. 

490
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:52,160
Like that's how they all. 
Talk. 

491
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,120
Oh yeah. 
And I literally had a bit of 

492
00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:56,560
camera gear with me and all and 
I had to take everything out and

493
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:58,720
they were all fucking hoping 
through it and then stuffed it 

494
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:02,080
all back in. 
The guy goes, do you start with 

495
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,000
her place, Sir? 
And I was like fucking here we 

496
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:08,400
go and I walked over and he goes
here there's a rumour that to 

497
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,120
buy the blenders loose in the 
airport. 

498
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:15,400
I was like, I hope 9 ISIS walk 
behind me and fucking bomb this 

499
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,440
shit hole and it's your fault 
Derek. 

500
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:23,360
And I was literally like short 
rude to him. 

501
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:30,000
Like I was like rude to him. 
I was just like, OK. 

502
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:32,320
How does he think? 
How does he want you to respond 

503
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:33,520
to that? 
I don't know, but it's probably 

504
00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:35,800
one of the scenarios if you're 
just like fuck off with like if 

505
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:37,880
you're perfectly within your 
rights, just like get the fuck 

506
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:39,720
out of my face. 
He'd be like, here, let's let's 

507
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,240
not attitude. 
Stop resisting. 

508
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:43,280
I'd like it if he went like 
through. 

509
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:45,640
So he kept you for an hour and a
half before he said that, you 

510
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,800
know what I mean? 
Like full cheques, how many 

511
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,760
searches and then said it? 
I've had that a few times, You 

512
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:53,120
know, like someone's, you know, 
fucking finger in your asshole 

513
00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:55,880
in that tube. 
And then they're just like, love

514
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,080
the videos, by the way. 
Oh, right, yeah, like. 

515
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:00,120
What do you think of? 
What do you think I'm smuggling?

516
00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:01,600
Through here. 
Yeah, Panther. 

517
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:05,200
To Glasgow, yeah. 
Excuse me Sir, I seem to have 

518
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,400
found a lot of punch lines in 
your pockets. 

519
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:14,680
I'll be like, that's joints. 
Anything to declare ponds you 

520
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:18,920
know How many do you want? 
And they're like, I used to do 

521
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:22,800
material about it, but 
everybody, I mean, in that 

522
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:25,600
airport, I mean, you wouldn't 
get a job anywhere else, like, 

523
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:26,840
right, You wouldn't be 
qualified. 

524
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,040
I go city. 
I just go to city. 

525
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:33,000
Yeah, it's less hassle. 
Shutter planes, less hassle. 

526
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:37,960
But like cuter places, there's 
never anything good in airports.

527
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:41,520
You know, you might get the odd 
JD Sports or something like 

528
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,800
that, but that's why. 
Dixons are like a Dixons. 

529
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:46,080
Are we Dixons? 
Is good you get yourself a Jack 

530
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:50,640
or something. 
Now I bought the What do you 

531
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:52,080
call them? 
It's gonna say waterproof. 

532
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:53,960
What do you call them? 
The sound cancel headphones the 

533
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:56,400
wrong place. 
I got sound cancel and 

534
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,480
headphones in there one day and 
it was like it was the best 

535
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:00,160
purchase of. 
International Airport, Yeah, I 

536
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,440
did the exact same thing. 
Fucking the guy switched them on

537
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:04,160
that just. 
I heard nothing. 

538
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:06,720
I was like, what was him doing? 
Unbelievable. 

539
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,000
And then just like it changed 
air travel for me forever. 

540
00:25:10,120 --> 00:25:11,240
Yeah. 
Because you were on a plane like

541
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:13,120
it, it makes you a bit more 
stressed because it's like 

542
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,720
everyone's talking about and he 
just, it goes away and you're 

543
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:18,200
like, I'm just sitting on a seat
here. 

544
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:20,600
Yeah, I'm ground. 
Yeah, not even not listening to 

545
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:22,200
anything, just. 
Sometimes not, no. 

546
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:25,680
Yeah, I I'm just exactly and I 
got my in both international 

547
00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:26,920
report too. 
Nice. 

548
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:29,160
Which is that free baby shout 
outs? 

549
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:30,720
Fucking great. 
Although let's not wear 

550
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:34,040
headphones on the way over 
because let's talk, let's chat, 

551
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:37,160
I'll be. 
They're not shitty flights 

552
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:38,320
either. 
They're isn't like middle of the

553
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:40,040
day kind of. 
And then, Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 

554
00:25:40,120 --> 00:25:41,440
If it was like I used to do 
that. 

555
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:42,840
The seven in the morning, you're
like, don't. 

556
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:46,920
Fucking anytime I was going to 
London, I'd do the like 5:50 AM 

557
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:48,680
flight because it was 7 quite 
cheaper. 

558
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:49,920
Oh yeah. 
And then get there and go. 

559
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:51,920
I don't know anyone in this city
and nothing's open. 

560
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,000
Yeah. 
So I was just down there for a 

561
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:55,440
long time. 
So now I. 

562
00:25:55,760 --> 00:26:00,080
Hate that later flights I gotta 
be ditching the bags. 

563
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:02,320
Ditch in the luggage and then 
I'll walk about. 

564
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:03,960
Yeah, ditch in the bags name 
you're on. 

565
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:08,680
Yeah, ditch in the bags, bro. 
Yeah, I can't be Arsh for that. 

566
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:11,440
You. 
Definitely learn how to travel 

567
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:13,760
better as you get a bit older as
well. 

568
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:15,800
Yeah, I don't like, I don't like
this. 

569
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:17,960
You know, we'll go out and see 
what we find. 

570
00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:19,280
Yeah. 
Look on the end. 

571
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,480
You can look my just and you 
know, like you can select 

572
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,800
certain places and that's fine 
for that trip. 

573
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:26,680
Yeah. 
You're not going to see all of 

574
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:28,920
London in fucking an afternoon. 
No, we are. 

575
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,480
We're going to see Alton Tarsh 
going to drive 7 hours. 

576
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:32,040
I'm going to. 
Google. 

577
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:33,680
I'm going to see what that is 
right now. 

578
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:40,280
What keys Keynes? 
Milton Keynes? 

579
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:42,600
What's Milton Keynes I? 
Think it's Milton Keynes. 

580
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,920
Milton Keynes sounds like maybe 
a guy who would facilitate the 

581
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,160
trip. 
All right, mate, Milton Keynes, 

582
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,880
OH. 
Milton Keynes, jump in. 

583
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:54,160
I'll tell you everywhere mate, 
what are you looking for on 

584
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:55,600
towers now, mate? 
You want to. 

585
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,760
Meet my mate Charlie on Milton 
Keynes. 

586
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:06,760
He's got the keys, he's got the.
Signal the kings Keys are kings.

587
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:12,040
It's Kings Kings Reggae Festival
that word what our town. 

588
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:15,000
Towers, Alton Towers that. 
Sounds like another guy. 

589
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:17,840
Even if we get Milton, Keyes and
Alton. 

590
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,000
Towers, yeah, it's fucking miles
away, man. 

591
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:21,840
Yeah, we can do it. 
Yeah, 3. 

592
00:27:22,120 --> 00:27:23,240
Fucking. 
That's good. 

593
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:26,640
We get there at 1, the gigs at 
9:00, we could just get there. 

594
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:30,760
Walter Straight back on strip, 
back on the Milton Keys, Vespa, 

595
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:35,280
the three of us on the back. 
Me just crushing the suspension 

596
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:39,000
into the floor. 
I'll just walk beside this for 

597
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:40,840
fuck sake. 
You boys want to do the ghost 

598
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:42,400
tour? 
Oh yes, please, Milton. 

599
00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:51,520
Milton Keynes. 
Go to beers, mate, Go to fucking

600
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:56,880
beers. 
Just fucking usually the clip 

601
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,680
your man in the EUR was like in 
a big bag of coke and he's like,

602
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:02,160
you take a big fucking giant 
bump on the key and he'd be 

603
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:06,920
like, oh, and the whole crowds 
are doing that and just fucking 

604
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:08,560
hoof the whole load of it. 
Do you know? 

605
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:11,520
How did he not die? 
Because he took like fucking 

606
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:15,640
just massive, massive bumps. 
He's like yeah, good. 

607
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:20,000
Cracking it my. 
When my O'Donnell was managing 

608
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:23,000
A-Team like 2 years ago in 
Argentina, he clearly had such a

609
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:26,240
Co connection that he needed to 
do it on the sideline during 

610
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:29,000
this like game. 
Did you ever see the footage of 

611
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:32,880
like 8 of his assistant coaches 
which he would like give a nod 

612
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:35,600
and they would form like a ring 
around them and I'll pretend 

613
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:36,840
they were like watching the 
match? 

614
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,320
So he was not there. 
Standing and then he would do 

615
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:41,400
the and then go back to the go 
back to managing. 

616
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:43,560
Fucking hell. 
I mean, that's the word. 

617
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:46,240
I mean, you know, you know them 
South Americans are like for 

618
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:48,440
their Coke, love it. 
And then also. 

619
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:51,520
That goes for bonds. 
Filled sodas. 

620
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,040
But he, you know, like he 
obviously has the worst thing 

621
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,320
you can have is money probably 
right Yeah. 

622
00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:58,920
So he's just like. 
And yes man, all around you. 

623
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:03,600
Know stocking it up he'd be like
this is my coke garage yeah just

624
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:04,000
full of. 
Coke. 

625
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:07,440
And like anyone who has it, when
they see him, oh, you have to, 

626
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:10,360
you know, have some of mine. 
It's probably like Paul, 

627
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,280
Hollywood is walking, you know, 
walk past the bakery. 

628
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:14,880
Oh, Paul, try this. 
Yeah, you know, we'd be a veto 

629
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:16,080
or something. 
He's like, I'm fucking. 

630
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:18,760
Barn brat Bloated. 
Yeah, you're like, eat that. 

631
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:20,960
Yeah. 
Do you see that documentary 

632
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:22,800
Cocaine Cowboy? 
Well, it's a series now on 

633
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:25,160
Netflix. 
There was an old documentary 

634
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:27,040
about Miami and all the cops and
all. 

635
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:30,080
And now there was there's a 
series on Netflix about the 

636
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:32,680
actual dealers and stuff. 
And there's just they're really 

637
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:36,480
into like speedboat racing and 
had one guy and he literally 

638
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:41,040
like couldn't look more like 
he's from the 80s Miami, like 

639
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:43,080
sweaty hair. 
It's stuck to his head and big 

640
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:45,200
passion off. 
And he's there like interviewing

641
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,600
people and he's literally, oh, 
yeah, how do you get on His jaw 

642
00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:50,360
is like all over the place. 
Got our winner here today. 

643
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:52,760
Just fucking sweat passion off 
him. 

644
00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:54,080
Like, just didn't hide it at 
all. 

645
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:55,680
Yeah, just everybody's wiped 
out. 

646
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:58,040
But like, like you say, having 
so much money that you just, Oh,

647
00:29:58,040 --> 00:29:59,960
yeah, it's like Pablo Escobar 
having a zoo. 

648
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:01,680
Yeah, you should watch that 
documentary. 

649
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:02,960
Everyone's like, I don't know, 
man. 

650
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:06,320
I was like 21 years old and I 
was lifting about 21 million a 

651
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:08,200
week. 
And then he's like, I didn't 

652
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:10,720
even think I was a criminal. 
I was just, I was just driving a

653
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,320
boat full of drugs to another 
place and you're like, yeah, 

654
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:15,520
drug trafficking, you fucking 
idiot. 

655
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:17,520
They put me in gaol for 24 
years. 

656
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:19,080
I was like, what's what? 
Why? 

657
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:23,640
I basically just drive a boat. 
I don't understand this. 

658
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,920
And you're like, it had a street
value of 200 fucking million or 

659
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,640
something. 
When you watch programmes like 

660
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:32,080
that and you hear the street 
value, it makes you realise it 

661
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:35,360
here, OK, there's a problem, but
it isn't really when you 

662
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,680
consider the street values when 
they're like PS and I have, I 

663
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:42,000
have a seizure of £77. 
Yeah, but they'll put up a photo

664
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:45,040
of like, you know, like a 
fucking wee 5 bag of weight, 

665
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:49,800
like lesson we're taking down 
the fucking the kingpins around 

666
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:52,520
here and it's basically just a 
fella that was smoking a joint 

667
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:55,640
on the corner. 
Yeah, I've got a question. 

668
00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:58,000
I thought you were going to go. 
It's funny you mentioned that 

669
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,080
we're going to mention drugs. 
We're going to do a little 

670
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,120
tasting. 
Yeah, I've got questions here. 

671
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:06,760
You're a big man for the wait. 
Oh, big big for. 

672
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,240
I enjoyed a bit like but then 
you have a baby and you're like,

673
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:15,160
this can't be. 
Yeah, I prioritise sleep over 

674
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:17,000
everything. 
Over everything. 

675
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:19,640
That's your album. 
Sleep over everything. 

676
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:23,640
Wait, Josh says. 
Which Northern Irish celebrity 

677
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:27,000
or public figure would be best 
suited for first minister? 

678
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:34,800
I mean, I don't. 
Joe Rogan It would be someone 

679
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:37,440
being dragged into it 
reluctantly sensible. 

680
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:38,840
Here they're like, I don't want 
anything to do with that. 

681
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:40,720
And you're like, do it for the 
people. 

682
00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:43,200
It'd be somebody that isn't the 
celebrity. 

683
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:44,960
It'd need to be someone who just
wants to go on. 

684
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:48,160
Notice those sort of people, you
know, that are like Liam Neeson 

685
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:50,000
not looking? 
I don't know. 

686
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:52,160
I think if Lemon is the first 
minister, I think it would work 

687
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:54,880
out quite well for us. 
But if you were, if you were a 

688
00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:57,440
different colour, I think. 
He was he a racialist? 

689
00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:00,000
No, but remember he gave an 
interview and he said the term 

690
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:04,280
in a in a context, he said the 
term black bastard, didn't he? 

691
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:10,320
He said he was, he said he was 
his friend got attacked by a 

692
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:13,720
black person. 
And then he said I was looking 

693
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:16,560
to go out and I think the phrase
you used was and kill a black 

694
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:19,360
bastard. 
And then I think he's that old 

695
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:23,480
that he probably forgot to give 
a bit more detail of what he was

696
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:23,840
saying. 
I. 

697
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:27,520
Know people are like, you know, 
it's not, it's not worrying that

698
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:31,400
he was going to kill a person. 
It's that he said block bastard.

699
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:35,360
I was gonna get this block 
bastard and kill their whole 

700
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:36,440
family. 
Yeah. 

701
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:37,480
And then they were looking I'm 
like. 

702
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:39,600
Did you say Black Bastard? 
And finished the story. 

703
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:41,840
And then he just, he's that old.
He just moved on talking about 

704
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:43,840
other stuff, you know? 
Yeah. 

705
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:46,800
I'm passing in my pants. 
But I don't know. 

706
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:48,400
Can you do Liam makes an 
impression. 

707
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:51,200
I don't know. 
I don't think so. 

708
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:55,800
Negative. 
Maybe I can something like that?

709
00:32:56,840 --> 00:33:03,600
Oh, that bet that everyone does.
Amory says What are the bromance

710
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,000
plans for London? 
I can't stop coughing that Miss 

711
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:10,400
Mike is cool. 
I think we I'd like to do 

712
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:12,160
something. 
The bromance plans. 

713
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:14,680
Yeah. 
But we're going to make a sex 

714
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:18,760
tape and fill cinematic 4K. 
Yeah, let's do that. 

715
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:24,880
Three cameras, yeah. 
Milton Keynes in the middle of 

716
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:27,720
it. 
I love it lad. 

717
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:30,880
Good. 
Here it comes. 

718
00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:36,320
Yes. 
More white lines. 

719
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:39,440
Milton Keyes does PR for Faces 
nightclub in Essex. 

720
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:43,720
But yeah, I think the plan. 
I'm going to take you for like 

721
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:46,480
some food that you do not want. 
I was just about to say, just 

722
00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:48,000
fucking look at your face all 
the time. 

723
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:50,640
I was going to say, I think I 
would like to have some nice 

724
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:51,840
food. 
Yeah, yeah. 

725
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:53,680
No. 
So I'll you do you put on some 

726
00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:56,640
sort of cuisine tour around 
London and I'll just follow 

727
00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:59,560
behind and watch. 
You, I want to think we should 

728
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:03,240
go some Asian places and see 
what you can, you can. 

729
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:07,160
Half and half, yeah. 
No nice stuff. 

730
00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:08,679
Yeah, you know what I mean? 
Yeah. 

731
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:10,000
Jeep mate. 
Yeah. 

732
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:12,719
Any types of mate? 
Any types of mate? 

733
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:16,120
Red mates all good now. 
All good in moderation, but a 

734
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:19,159
welfare in London. 
Well, yeah, the, the meal, you 

735
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:22,639
know, there's, you know, a 
restaurant meal will be in 

736
00:34:22,639 --> 00:34:24,800
moderation. 
Yeah, they don't go like here's 

737
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:28,440
a few chips and a bit of thing 
and then like 4 1/2 kilos of 

738
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:29,320
brisket. 
Yeah. 

739
00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:31,960
No, I like that. 
I like. 

740
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,719
They control it on a plate. 
Do you like BBQ food? 

741
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,480
You know. 
American style. 

742
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:40,280
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 
If you can get it, I'll give it 

743
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:41,120
a go. 
Yeah, I like. 

744
00:34:41,159 --> 00:34:42,760
That it's hard to come across. 
I like that. 

745
00:34:43,199 --> 00:34:44,520
Well see that that is a lot of 
meat. 

746
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:47,000
I know a few BBQ. 
There you go, he's live in 

747
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:47,920
London. 
Ohio. 

748
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:50,080
Yeah. 
I like that. 

749
00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:52,880
I also think it's handy. 
That's handy to have someone who

750
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:55,760
knows the city because you spend
so much time, like, fucking 

751
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:59,000
about and going from here to 
here when you could have just 

752
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:00,120
walked it. 
You know, you take public 

753
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:02,320
transport, you do that. 
You know, you go down the 

754
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:05,440
underground station, you come up
after 45 minutes and go, all 

755
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:07,400
right, I can see where I was. 
Yeah. 

756
00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:09,360
And that kind of thing, sweating
and stinking. 

757
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:12,720
Yeah, I want to pack. 
I want to pack in fun, but not 

758
00:35:12,720 --> 00:35:13,880
too much fun so that we're 
tired. 

759
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:16,600
Do you know much of A rat race 
London is? 

760
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:19,320
I got off a tube once and this 
guy was kind of running and he 

761
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:24,200
just swerved and collapsed and I
went like real hard, not real 

762
00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:25,800
hard tile floor. 
Down there. 

763
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:28,120
And I ran over and I was like, 
you alright, mate? 

764
00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:31,080
And I lifted him up and he was 
like, he was like, sorry, I need

765
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:33,440
a briefcase that he was going up
like rushing to work and he was 

766
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:35,440
sorry. 
It's just I have this brain 

767
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:36,840
tumour and it makes me a bit 
dizzy. 

768
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:40,280
And he just had chairs and he 
ran on and I was like, that's 

769
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:42,400
London for you. 
Like the guy doesn't even 

770
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:45,840
fucking stop for a minute 
because he has a fucking brain 

771
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:47,280
tumour. 
He's like, I don't get in 

772
00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:51,520
because it's important to me 
that in life that I get there 

773
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:53,480
for 9:00. 
I have a brain tumour, can I get

774
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:55,240
next Wednesday off to get this 
left up? 

775
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:59,280
Just. 
Coming out, it'll be all right. 

776
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:01,200
Yeah, it's got to say, mate, 
it's a bit of an eyesore. 

777
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:03,680
Yeah, my eye is sore. 
In fact, I'm blind. 

778
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:05,600
The pace of life there wouldn't.
Wouldn't. 

779
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:06,960
And people just stepping over 
him. 

780
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:09,320
Yeah, no, that that doesn't suit
me out there. 

781
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:12,080
Nah, fuck that. 
You know, and especially on the 

782
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:13,960
tube as well. 
I would get like a fucking, you 

783
00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:16,920
know, blocked nose and I'd be 
like, there's more to life than 

784
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:19,560
work. 
You got to live your life, man. 

785
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:22,920
Matthew says. 
Who's your favourite up and 

786
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:24,680
coming comedian from Northern 
Ireland? 

787
00:36:25,240 --> 00:36:33,600
You, I'd say. 
Me and Roy Walker. 

788
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:36,760
I mean, there's no, there is no 
like up and coming now because 

789
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,400
it's like someone will just do 
you something out of nowhere and

790
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:40,360
they'll be like, oh, there they 
go. 

791
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:42,800
Fucking fucking 200,000 
followers on tech talk. 

792
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:45,720
Or something, you know, it's 
like it's mad how quick you can 

793
00:36:45,720 --> 00:36:48,160
just get into it. 
There's no like people must look

794
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:51,200
at stand up here and think, you 
know, do you spend year? 

795
00:36:51,240 --> 00:36:55,240
And that was probably the case a
decade ago, you know, would and 

796
00:36:55,240 --> 00:36:58,440
there wasn't social media as it 
is, it would take you a lot 

797
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:02,720
longer to get gigs. 
But now, like you look at 

798
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:07,240
someone like Johnny Bowie did 
lotteries last week, like Johnny

799
00:37:07,240 --> 00:37:10,160
was doing it years ago and then 
stopped for about 7 years and 

800
00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:11,560
he's doing it again. 
So it's almost like he's 

801
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,560
starting again. 
But he's really good and he has 

802
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:17,080
a defined act. 
He's got one liners that are 

803
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:20,040
excellent. 
He wears a suit like he he knows

804
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:23,560
his sort of character for stand 
up and he's getting gigs left, 

805
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:26,240
right and centre. 
But and it's almost like he's 

806
00:37:26,240 --> 00:37:28,440
just started. 
That's just because he's good. 

807
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:33,480
Yeah, I think for me he's 
probably the best up and coming 

808
00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:38,160
comedian because I, I mean, you 
spend a long time figuring out 

809
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:41,960
how you look on stage and just 
getting comfortable and that 

810
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:44,440
sort of thing. 
And especially him doing like 1 

811
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:46,920
liners. 
It's easy to get to think. 

812
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:49,240
I've got to start to do stories 
and they have to do this Did. 

813
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:52,400
He start like that though. 
Was he doing like bits and stuff

814
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:54,080
at the start? 
I might be wrong, I think he was

815
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:55,960
doing bits and stories and 
stuff. 

816
00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:59,000
Well, it's good that you've sort
of you figure it out like 

817
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:01,640
because you could easily, you 
know, look around you and be 

818
00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:04,800
like, well, there's Mickey and 
potty and forget you whatever 

819
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:07,360
and be like, oh, they do like 
material and bits. 

820
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:08,800
Yeah, I think you have to do 
that. 

821
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:12,280
And then you're like, but I have
like fucking 200 jokes line here

822
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:15,040
that I just write when I'm at 
work and no, it's good. 

823
00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:20,760
I mean, you know, there's people
like, I mean obviously like 

824
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:24,000
Jordy and there's all the 
obvious go to ones that like we 

825
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,640
would have support because, you 
know, they're just good. 

826
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:30,240
Jordy's had some gigs like even 
at the limenight where like 

827
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:34,560
Mickey Open, then Jordan 
Robinson was on and murders like

828
00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:36,920
just hit whatever the sweet spot
of time was. 

829
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:39,520
Yeah, fucking murdered. 
And then they get too drunk and 

830
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:41,560
then I go on and I'm like, oh, 
there's fucking just nothing 

831
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:43,800
left for me. 
Like and he got that sweet 

832
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:45,560
window. 
But the best thing is they want 

833
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:48,240
a gig so much like that. 
Yeah, they're just there all the

834
00:38:48,240 --> 00:38:49,880
time. 
More than anything like. 

835
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:52,760
William and Jordan and all them 
ones, like they were just. 

836
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:54,800
Which is sort of the way to do 
it. 

837
00:38:54,800 --> 00:39:00,000
Like, you know, in the comedy 
world, it's like, if you, like, 

838
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:04,000
make yourself useful, Yeah. 
Which is like the oldest fucking

839
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:06,400
thing in the book. 
Like, But if you're just around 

840
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:09,040
and you've done a few gigs and 
you're always there and it 

841
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:10,800
happened to wait him a few 
times, I was just like, do you 

842
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:14,280
want AMC Lavery's? 
And he literally like high 5 

843
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:16,040
James McKechnie, like fucking 
sweet. 

844
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:19,000
But you know, like class. 
And I'm just like, no, it's just

845
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:20,560
because I want to do a set and 
can't be ours doing it. 

846
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:23,120
But yeah, but that sort of 
thing. 

847
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:25,160
But even things like. 
If you were to send it home 

848
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:28,080
going, Carl never asked me to do
every. 

849
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:30,800
You'll never get asked. 
It's like, yeah, be into it. 

850
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:32,600
Be there, like. 
Because there's that thing of 

851
00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:35,440
like even just announcing 
someone on an off stage, Mike, 

852
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:37,240
who would you bring? 
Would you just announce Mike 

853
00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:40,040
being able to just be there and 
you want them to do that and 

854
00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:41,840
sort of weed? 
Like I remember going to fucking

855
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:46,080
countless stand up nights. 
I was saying that Damon, Damon 

856
00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:49,680
Clark, like he was, but the 
first ever like local gay guy 

857
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:53,520
went their second movie was in 
the black box and he was on. 

858
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:55,720
And I remember just like, you 
know, you don't you don't even 

859
00:39:55,720 --> 00:39:57,080
know that you could do this in 
Belfast. 

860
00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:58,560
And I'm just like, who where the
fuck? 

861
00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:02,240
He was unbelievable at the time,
like the crash test dummy. 

862
00:40:02,240 --> 00:40:06,240
And I was like, this is nuts. 
But you got to go and just be 

863
00:40:06,240 --> 00:40:08,280
around these places. 
And there is a lot of comedy 

864
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:12,520
people who do comedy who are 
like, you know, they, they shit 

865
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:14,520
on like laveries or something 
that God, it's all the same 

866
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:16,200
people and blah, blah. 
And you're like, yeah, I don't 

867
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:18,160
know anyone else. 
Yeah, yeah, I've never seen you 

868
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:20,440
do stand up. 
I've never, you're never around.

869
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:22,400
You're just at home complaining 
that you're not getting gigs. 

870
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:25,240
And all these other guys are 
actually into it. 

871
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:30,120
Yeah, there's no point where you
should stop asking for gigs like

872
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:32,320
I'll. 
I'll still say to you here, 

873
00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:35,200
could I do a library soon? 
Or it's both like I'll ask you. 

874
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:37,720
You know, because I'll take a 
look at the lineup somebody like

875
00:40:37,720 --> 00:40:39,840
right, we're we're cycling these
round. 

876
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:42,560
I'll give XI in a shout, but 
yeah, you'll fucking you'll ask 

877
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:45,640
for a 10 minute spot. 
Or you'll say something like 

878
00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:48,280
here, I'm doing this, if I come 
around, could I also get 5 

879
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:50,520
minutes? 
It's that wanting to perform. 

880
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:54,520
And that's why I think the crowd
of people that you would call 

881
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:56,840
relatively new like Jordan and 
William and all of us you've 

882
00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:59,560
done for years, but you would 
still just because they're 

883
00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:01,880
younger, like we'll probably. 
There are people like, you know,

884
00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:05,080
like fucking McCartney where you
like, you can kind of do 

885
00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:07,160
everything and he does it really
well. 

886
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:10,080
And you're like, fucking. 
Yes, yeah, yeah. 

887
00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:12,320
Because you spend years getting 
to that. 

888
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:14,520
Point then you feel like that 
might be an age thing, you know,

889
00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:17,680
like he wasn't, he wasn't super 
young when he started. 

890
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:20,320
So you kind of already have 
yourself sorted out of it, you 

891
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:21,760
know. 
Yourself better supposed to 

892
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:26,040
remember your your first gig. 
Your first gig was LOL in 

893
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:29,640
Newcastle and you just said like
you're saying about someone just

894
00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:32,160
go on here, will you MC this? 
Will you send that to somebody 

895
00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:33,520
who's already done stand up a 
lot? 

896
00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:35,880
So of course it's easy. 
But we were at a comedy night, 

897
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:39,360
me and Mickey, I just went to 
watch and you thought about 

898
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:41,920
doing stand up. 
You're starting to work on bits 

899
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:46,120
and then everybody was just 
like, just do a set and you did 

900
00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:49,680
it short. 
Said no, no, it was Ryan Hand. 

901
00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:52,000
I was just like, we got fucking 
by the blade on the building 

902
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,760
play and it just got me up on 
stage and I was like hammered. 

903
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:57,240
I was like, what are you doing? 
Yeah, so I hate him for life. 

904
00:41:57,240 --> 00:41:59,360
Do you know what I mean? 
But. 

905
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:03,360
And I literally said like is I 
think I said on stage, like is 

906
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:04,920
there another gig in like 2 
weeks or something? 

907
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:06,440
I was like, I'll come back and 
do that one. 

908
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:08,520
Yeah, yeah, when I'm not 
hammered and actually have 

909
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:10,320
thought about it for 2 minutes. 
But you did a few minutes. 

910
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:13,280
I remember you did a few minutes
and I was like, fuck me, they're

911
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:15,760
not a mission. 
I would be able to joke. 

912
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:18,080
But I mean, I suppose you'd 
started thinking about bits, you

913
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:19,400
know? 
It's like your first time you 

914
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:21,680
encountered as a gig, but your 
first time on stage. 

915
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:23,240
That was bad. 
Nice shows your first gig. 

916
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:27,720
Pav. 
Yeah, yeah. 

917
00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:31,120
How long did you do 5? 
10 minutes. 

918
00:42:31,240 --> 00:42:33,920
No, that was good. 
Yeah, that was the worst thing. 

919
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:35,000
It was actually fucking good. 
Do you? 

920
00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:39,320
Remember who else was on? 
I think Woodsy maybe right? 

921
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:41,440
I think man Woodsy started like 
the same day or something. 

922
00:42:41,720 --> 00:42:42,440
Oh, right. 
OK. 

923
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:46,120
And then maybe like the second 
time it was because we were 

924
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:48,760
doing that Audio Picnic podcast.
So like fucking everybody was 

925
00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:49,360
on. 
That's right. 

926
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:51,000
Everybody that was in the 
building tried it. 

927
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:56,760
And then I've done 2 gigs then. 
So I was like both of them went 

928
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:59,920
pretty well. 
So stand ups in the bag. 

929
00:42:59,920 --> 00:43:04,080
And then the third gig was like 
at a remember there was like a 

930
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:06,960
gig in an art gallery around 
besides John Hewitt. 

931
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:08,960
Marcus Keeley ran it or 
something? 

932
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:11,800
That's right upstairs. 
And I was like, I is my third 

933
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:13,680
gig. 
Just bring your own booze. 

934
00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:16,480
I brought about fucking 48 
Stella and I was like, I'm only 

935
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:17,640
new. 
They're going to put me on 1st 

936
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:20,040
and they're like, Oh yeah, you 
can go on like second last for 

937
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:24,640
like Rory Ward and I. 
No, I would still eat shed of 

938
00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:26,760
the gig like that because 
they're all just smoking 

939
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:29,400
licorice rollies and fucking 
wearing their vegan shoes gone. 

940
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:35,280
Did you just say she? 
Did you actually, in this day 

941
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:42,880
and age, say the word she? 
The last time I did that gig, I 

942
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:44,000
think I only did it once or 
twice. 

943
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:47,040
Me and Paddy Migaki have been 
out of gig somewhere and he's 

944
00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:48,800
like on the way home, I'll call 
in there. 

945
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:52,200
So I said I'll do it too. 
This is like 10 years ago and I 

946
00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:54,640
did a spot and it wasn't going 
well. 

947
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:57,240
So I pretended my phone was on 
stage. 

948
00:43:57,240 --> 00:44:01,120
I pretended my phone was ringing
and I said I said I'll answer 

949
00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:04,720
this for the crack here. 
And I said yeah, I said hello. 

950
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:09,080
And I said still doing what? 
Who? 

951
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:12,600
I said no, no, no, you're 
joking. 

952
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:15,640
You're joking. 
And then there was like laughs. 

953
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:20,000
And then they stopped and I 
said, Oh my God, Oh my God. 

954
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:24,520
And I just walked. 
And by the way, there's no like,

955
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:26,800
MC coming up on stage to take 
over just yet. 

956
00:44:27,240 --> 00:44:30,720
People thought maybe it's a bit.
And I like, still half on the 

957
00:44:30,720 --> 00:44:32,800
phone. 
I walked out of the front door, 

958
00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:34,960
down the stairs. 
Where was this guy? 

959
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:40,640
It was in safe house just on 
beside John Hewitt. 

960
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:42,080
That is it. 
Yeah, I know. 

961
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:43,640
Yeah. 
So that's what I'm talking 

962
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:47,040
about. 
So I just walk out, go down the 

963
00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:50,040
stairs, no one has started 
talking again yet upstairs. 

964
00:44:50,720 --> 00:44:53,840
And as I got into my car, I 
looked up at the window and 

965
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:56,720
there's just like 2 comedians 
and a couple audience members 

966
00:44:57,120 --> 00:44:59,080
just like real worried looking 
out. 

967
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:02,240
And I just went sorry, got my 
car and just drove from that's. 

968
00:45:02,240 --> 00:45:04,240
The sort of gig where I'm 
surprised it didn't just go. 

969
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:06,920
Yeah, yeah. 
You know, like, like you're 

970
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:09,200
doing some sort of Andy Kaufman.
Fuck yeah. 

971
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,440
Fantastic Revolutionary just 
walked out. 

972
00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:13,840
Patty text me after. 
He's like me. 

973
00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:15,520
What happened? 
I was like, no, I just wasn't 

974
00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:16,920
enjoying this. 
Everything's fine. 

975
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:18,320
There should be a lot more of 
that. 

976
00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:19,840
Yeah. 
You know, there's this sort of 

977
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:23,760
like the show must go on type. 
Me and Mickey headline pavilion 

978
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:26,920
ones doing sketches that we 
wrote that day and we got 

979
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:30,760
everybody on stage as part of 
this, like we're like get a clap

980
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:33,160
going. 
We and I got everybody on stage,

981
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:36,840
like the whole audience, 30 
people on stage. 

982
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:39,040
Me and Mickey slowly walked to 
the back of the room, Clap, 

983
00:45:39,360 --> 00:45:40,760
clap. 
We just walked down the 

984
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:43,800
downstairs and left. 
And as we walked out, we looked 

985
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:49,520
back and there's just like 30 
people go and we just left and 

986
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:52,880
never heard anything about it. 
In the path, Yeah, man, the, the

987
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:55,000
amount of times I've walked up 
the stairs, like I always had 

988
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,640
this bit of nostalgia, like, 
it'd be class to go back there. 

989
00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:00,480
Yeah. 
And just like, you know, drop 

990
00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:03,560
in. 
Yeah, drop in and twice we've 

991
00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:06,200
went up the stairs and there's 
been absolutely no one there and

992
00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:07,400
we're just like, right, we're 
leaving. 

993
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:09,760
Yeah, because why would there be
anyone there? 

994
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:15,400
Well, the last before COVID, it 
was usually like getting a good 

995
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:16,680
crowd if somebody would 
TripAdvisor. 

996
00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:19,280
Apparently they were really good
at advertising it for. 

997
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:21,360
Somebody search engine thing? 
Yep. 

998
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:22,880
So. 
Comedy. 

999
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:25,200
Belfast Entertainment. 
I enjoyed it the last. 

1000
00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:28,000
Time I'd things to do. 
It was a middle-aged, some 

1001
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:29,960
middle-aged guy was going on 
after me. 

1002
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:32,960
So we're both standing near 
stage, and it was packed. 

1003
00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:34,480
And I was like, trying to build 
a new material. 

1004
00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:37,920
And the guy goes, so was it your
first gig, too? 

1005
00:46:38,240 --> 00:46:43,120
And I, as a joke, I went, yeah. 
And then I was like, I'll go on 

1006
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:46,880
stage, do my set, and then I'll 
wrap it up, share a laugh with 

1007
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:48,800
them. 
I go on stage, don't have a 

1008
00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:51,040
great set. 
And as I walked off, I, like, 

1009
00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:53,640
started chatting to him. 
He goes, you should do it again.

1010
00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:58,360
He's like, don't give up. 
You're not Graham Watson. 

1011
00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:01,560
Stick at it, yeah. 
I just had a talk about that, 

1012
00:47:02,440 --> 00:47:03,600
the things you've witnessed in 
there. 

1013
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:07,400
I remember going on stage and 
just being the mic broke, right,

1014
00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:08,880
Right. 
Deadly serious. 

1015
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:12,400
The mic broke. 
And I was like, I don't know 

1016
00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:14,080
what they use. 
And there was like a like a 

1017
00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:16,240
betting pencil or like an Argos 
pen or something. 

1018
00:47:16,240 --> 00:47:19,040
And I just held it. 
And that became really funny. 

1019
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:21,040
And then I was talking to this 
girl because she was writing in 

1020
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:24,160
a notebook at a comedy gig. 
It's like, what are you writing 

1021
00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:25,840
there? 
And she was just a poem and a no

1022
00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:29,520
joke. 
I was like I was like, what, you

1023
00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:32,360
got a you got a live stand up 
gig writing a poem, and I was 

1024
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:34,600
like, just at that point I 
didn't care what I was sort of 

1025
00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:35,440
like, what are you writing 
about? 

1026
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:39,160
She was I wrote one about let no
joke, lettuce, and I was like, 

1027
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:43,680
what is this fucking shit hole 
That's legit, which said but 

1028
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:44,680
you're not you know, you see 
they. 

1029
00:47:44,720 --> 00:47:47,080
Were doing for sculptures. 
You see the clientele and yeah, 

1030
00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:49,520
mind if I throw some play in the
back? 

1031
00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:55,600
I brought my own let. 
Me see, do you? 

1032
00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:57,520
Remember the funeral party come 
up to the gig. 

1033
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:01,600
In path no. 
There was like there'd been a 

1034
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:04,240
funeral and the downstairs was 
like full of ones drinking 

1035
00:48:04,240 --> 00:48:07,200
obviously, and I went down for a
pest and this guy goes fucking 

1036
00:48:07,240 --> 00:48:10,040
buy a blender. 
What's a crack at all my 

1037
00:48:10,240 --> 00:48:12,400
something? 
My uncle's just fucking buried 

1038
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:14,040
there. 
And I was like, what are you 

1039
00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:16,640
doing here? 
And I stupidly went doing a 

1040
00:48:16,640 --> 00:48:19,520
stand up gig upstairs and he was
are you fucking right now? 

1041
00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:22,160
Shouts to like all the lads 
night. 

1042
00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:28,400
I went upstairs, went on, came 
off and they all paid in and sat

1043
00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:30,640
down and someone was on stage 
and were like, this is fucking 

1044
00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:32,560
shake and all the words buy a 
blender. 

1045
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:35,760
And I'd already been off and I 
was like, I've already been on. 

1046
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:37,640
They're like fuck's sake. 
And they all just got back up 

1047
00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:40,560
and left again. 
This is worse than my uncle's 

1048
00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:43,880
death. 
Fucking give me another family 

1049
00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:47,000
death any day instead of 
watching this fucking I did. 

1050
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:49,400
A few deaths in the in the 
venue, to be fair, yeah. 

1051
00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:53,640
It's got bad juju in it. 
I did my second gig there and 

1052
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:55,120
that convinced me to keep doing 
stuff. 

1053
00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:57,880
My first was so bad. 
Then I had my second in there 

1054
00:48:57,880 --> 00:48:59,240
and it was packed and it was 
fun. 

1055
00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:01,480
So I like, I'll always enjoy 
that venue. 

1056
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:03,440
But yeah, there's nights 
obviously, because it's open mic

1057
00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:04,800
night. 
There's nights where you go and 

1058
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:07,400
there is literally nobody there.
And then you remember they had a

1059
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:12,840
comedian's table and it just 
became like there was more going

1060
00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:15,240
on there during the set than on 
stage. 

1061
00:49:15,240 --> 00:49:16,440
There was like a lot of they 
were like. 

1062
00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:18,920
Hackling. 
There was a weird hierarchy 

1063
00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:21,440
thing where like, yeah, you knew
who was able to sit at that 

1064
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:21,960
table. 
Yeah. 

1065
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:24,080
And then you'd come in and then 
it'd be like someone who'd done 

1066
00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:26,000
1 gig was sitting there writing 
notes and you're like. 

1067
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:30,040
Who the fuck Yeah, but it got 
the point where they were they 

1068
00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:32,040
were talking about the acts on 
stage. 

1069
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:37,000
I'm being so like animated about
it and didn't care the a lot of 

1070
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:39,680
people stop going because that 
stop now like which. 

1071
00:49:39,680 --> 00:49:41,800
Yeah, and you can just go back 
like fucking eight years later 

1072
00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:43,720
and see people doing like the 
same set. 

1073
00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:48,320
Yeah, you know, Yeah. 
And being like Mickey Bartlett's

1074
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:54,000
shit. 
Here's my bit about my cat 

1075
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:56,280
something. 
I would, I mean at the minute I,

1076
00:49:56,280 --> 00:50:00,080
I, I do any gig I do, I do any 
gig nearly at the minute. 

1077
00:50:00,360 --> 00:50:01,720
Yeah, that's where me and you 
differ. 

1078
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:05,080
Yeah, no, I just want to be on 
stage. 

1079
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:10,320
I just, every time I do it, I 
feel like if this goes away 

1080
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:13,400
again, which I don't think, well
I hope it won't, I just want to 

1081
00:50:13,400 --> 00:50:16,080
do as many as I can while I can,
you know? 

1082
00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:19,120
So makes sense. 
So anything paramilitary 

1083
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:20,640
fundraiser. 
I just feel like. 

1084
00:50:20,720 --> 00:50:22,400
Anything. 
It has to be of a certain 

1085
00:50:22,400 --> 00:50:23,800
quality or else it's not worth 
it. 

1086
00:50:25,520 --> 00:50:28,600
Or maybe maybe if I get asked to
do something don't like, maybe 

1087
00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:31,040
I'm looking for something on the
way home to do another gig to do

1088
00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:34,200
as well or something. 
But like, yeah, anything. 

1089
00:50:34,720 --> 00:50:36,760
I actually really enjoyed that 
voodoo show. 

1090
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:39,280
Yeah. 
Just because his venue never 

1091
00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:40,600
done, there's something I love 
about that. 

1092
00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:44,400
I it's weird because the 
Thursday 1 was the most rowdy 

1093
00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:47,880
and my material was the most 
shit, but it was the best gig. 

1094
00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:50,720
And then Friday, which sold that
immediately felt like I was 

1095
00:50:50,720 --> 00:50:53,600
like, you guys, OK, right. 
Sunday was about the same. 

1096
00:50:53,840 --> 00:50:56,240
They're still you guys. 
I said that to my sister. 

1097
00:50:56,240 --> 00:50:58,280
She was like, I had the gigs go 
and I was explaining to her and 

1098
00:50:58,280 --> 00:50:59,800
she was, well, that's something 
to do with Jupiter. 

1099
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:01,680
Jupiter's being weird at the 
minute and everyone's mood's 

1100
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:05,120
down and on. 
I was like, she smokes crack now

1101
00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:08,800
that's cool. 
But yeah, if there's venues I've

1102
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:12,640
never done, I enjoy that. 
And then there was a Heckler at 

1103
00:51:12,640 --> 00:51:16,400
the Thursday show, and I loved 
that because you can go back and

1104
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:19,560
do stand up, but you need to be 
in those situations again to 

1105
00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:21,560
feel like, oh, this is part and 
parcel of it. 

1106
00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:23,120
Yeah. 
You know, the first I was so 

1107
00:51:23,120 --> 00:51:24,520
nervous. 
We're getting heckled when stand

1108
00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:26,000
up came back in like September 
there. 

1109
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:28,880
And then it happened. 
And after it, I was like, oh, 

1110
00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:32,440
no, I'm so glad that there's 
that exchange. 

1111
00:51:32,720 --> 00:51:35,200
Even crowd work. 
I'm only now starting to be able

1112
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:36,520
to want to do that again. 
You. 

1113
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:39,280
Know it took me a long time to 
like settle in the crowd work. 

1114
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:43,160
Yeah, like just just be like, 
you don't need to be have this 

1115
00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:46,960
amazing comeback right away. 
Yeah, you can just sit there for

1116
00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:48,400
a minute. 
Yeah, because the guy at the 

1117
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:52,280
Voodoo show did all the work for
me by saying Jewish instead of 

1118
00:51:52,280 --> 00:51:55,800
Jewish, so that that worked. 
And then the audience kind of 

1119
00:51:56,120 --> 00:52:00,600
because it was like we were cold
at the start and then like I was

1120
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:04,600
felt like I was working hard and
then that happened and then that

1121
00:52:04,720 --> 00:52:07,960
felt like I broke the ice. 
The crowd working and I'm seeing

1122
00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:11,320
with those gigs in Ballycastle 
Hotel function room during the 

1123
00:52:11,320 --> 00:52:16,200
day just felt a wee bit stuffy 
at the start and I went on just 

1124
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:18,680
doing material. 
It was grand. 

1125
00:52:18,680 --> 00:52:21,240
First half, start of the 
second-half I'm just doing crowd

1126
00:52:21,240 --> 00:52:24,680
work, infinitely better. 
People just feel way, but that's

1127
00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:27,480
why. 
They see clips of people like 

1128
00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:29,760
Paul Smith or something. 
They're like, do not love him. 

1129
00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:31,520
Isn't he fucking hilarious? 
I don't know. 

1130
00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:37,640
I've never seen Paul Smith do. 
That's whiskey do material. 

1131
00:52:37,760 --> 00:52:39,840
I've never seen a bed of his at 
all, ever. 

1132
00:52:40,440 --> 00:52:43,200
I think he does, but he can 
switch it up at any point 

1133
00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:45,200
because he came to pugs for 
Dave. 

1134
00:52:45,200 --> 00:52:48,680
He was doing Ulster Hall and we 
were in the Clayton Avon Coffee 

1135
00:52:48,680 --> 00:52:50,320
beforehand. 
He was staying there so he was 

1136
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:53,360
about to foil anything and we're
chatting to him and Dave said 

1137
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:56,640
look, I do pugs across the road 
and that was Dave, which is 

1138
00:52:56,640 --> 00:53:01,040
weird. 
Dave's like come to a spot, 

1139
00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:03,480
didn't think he would. 
Showed up that about half an 

1140
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:06,920
hour and he was doing material, 
then he got heckled and then 

1141
00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:08,400
that became the show. 
Yeah. 

1142
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:11,960
And it was if you were sort of 
untrained, you'd probably go, 

1143
00:53:11,960 --> 00:53:13,600
oh, that was all set up 
beforehand. 

1144
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:17,000
Yeah. 
Because it was it into one 

1145
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:19,800
person, heckled, Dealt with that
for 5 minutes, someone else 

1146
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:21,280
heckled. 
Then he's bringing what this 

1147
00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:24,720
person said into that and it 
just became a thing. 

1148
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:26,520
It's fucking great. 
Fantastic. 

1149
00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:29,200
But the danger of committing the
crowd work is then it just 

1150
00:53:29,200 --> 00:53:31,640
doesn't. 
You've no like end to it or you 

1151
00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:33,440
make people that much part of 
the show that you then. 

1152
00:53:33,440 --> 00:53:35,640
It's nice if it falls between 
bits because there's nothing 

1153
00:53:35,640 --> 00:53:37,480
worse than starting a story. 
And I mean, like, I was fucking 

1154
00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:40,600
here and I anyway, I'm back in 
the shop here and you know, it's

1155
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:42,280
like, or, or like, that'll be 
fun. 

1156
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:44,040
All you need to do is just give 
a wee look. 

1157
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:46,960
Oh yeah, I got it, you know. 
I can't even be Arsenal. 

1158
00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:49,360
Yeah, you know, you're good at 
datum hackles. 

1159
00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:53,560
I'm just like, what about? 
Yeah, it's OK, obviously until 

1160
00:53:53,560 --> 00:53:57,360
it gets a point where it's like 
I've mugged you off 3 times, 

1161
00:53:57,480 --> 00:53:59,160
Yeah, your mates are 
embarrassed. 

1162
00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:00,320
Now you need. 
Just checked out. 

1163
00:54:00,520 --> 00:54:03,400
Yeah, and not going to be me 
doing it, but hopefully an adult

1164
00:54:03,400 --> 00:54:09,760
man will come in and remove you.
Leave big on me some gluten free

1165
00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:11,200
oats, Adam, No. 
Oh. 

1166
00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:17,600
There was that a 2 questions. 
No, there's no, there's four 

1167
00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:18,880
there. 
Remember the first Minister, 1 

1168
00:54:19,120 --> 00:54:20,320
Joe Rogan? 
That'd be fun. 

1169
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:24,040
The other one was have you have 
me? 

1170
00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:27,040
And you ever had a full 
argument, which I don't think we

1171
00:54:27,160 --> 00:54:33,000
have, You don't comedians and 
there's no one in our friendship

1172
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:35,440
group that I've even nearly had 
an argument with. 

1173
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:39,280
It's a very laid by for such a 
high pressure job. 

1174
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:44,160
It's such a laid back. 
No, it can be quite bitchy, you 

1175
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:45,600
know what I mean? 
Like, yeah, there's probably a 

1176
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:47,360
lot of behind the scenes 
slobber. 

1177
00:54:47,360 --> 00:54:49,600
There definitely is. 
But I don't think they will 

1178
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:51,760
arrive with each other, no. 
What are you gonna arrive about?

1179
00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:54,360
Yeah, no matter. 
It would have to be like someone

1180
00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:57,200
would like steal your bed or 
something, like blatantly steal 

1181
00:54:57,200 --> 00:54:59,000
your bed. 
And I've seen it happen and I 

1182
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:02,160
don't even think people are 
fucking brave enough to confront

1183
00:55:02,160 --> 00:55:04,120
other people. 
They're just the heath even 

1184
00:55:04,120 --> 00:55:04,840
bastard. 
No. 

1185
00:55:04,840 --> 00:55:06,760
Yeah, but you wouldn't be. 
Sometimes. 

1186
00:55:07,240 --> 00:55:10,480
But we'll see in London, you 
know, when you're like there's a

1187
00:55:10,480 --> 00:55:12,160
Nando's, it's only 7 miles away 
and. 

1188
00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:13,920
I'm like, guys, what do you 
think of Nando's? 

1189
00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:16,120
You're like, we went there for 
breakfast, lunch and breakfast, 

1190
00:55:16,120 --> 00:55:18,560
lunch and dinner yesterday, so 
maybe we could try somewhere 

1191
00:55:18,560 --> 00:55:20,560
else. 
And you're like, but do you want

1192
00:55:20,560 --> 00:55:24,560
to run that risk? 
I'm like, let's go somewhere a 

1193
00:55:24,560 --> 00:55:27,000
bit different. tgi Friday's, we 
should try that. 

1194
00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:29,440
Let's try and see what it's 
like. 

1195
00:55:30,160 --> 00:55:31,840
Then you go in there and you're 
can I get the Perry Perry 

1196
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:32,600
chicken? 
Yeah. 

1197
00:55:32,960 --> 00:55:35,320
I found a little mom and pop 
place called Shake Shack. 

1198
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:36,680
Would you guys like should we 
try? 

1199
00:55:36,680 --> 00:55:38,320
You'll find some you know those 
chicken shops? 

1200
00:55:38,320 --> 00:55:41,400
It's called like fucking mindies
or something like it's nearly 

1201
00:55:41,400 --> 00:55:43,040
this. 
It's like a RIP off Same sign. 

1202
00:55:43,040 --> 00:55:48,680
Or Mandos try this. 
Fernandos chicken Perry Perry 

1203
00:55:48,680 --> 00:55:53,800
chicken getting sued like fuck. 
Yeah, the show is on Saturday 

1204
00:55:54,040 --> 00:55:57,520
21st of this month, which is 
like next week, and we'll put a 

1205
00:55:57,520 --> 00:55:59,520
link to tickets in the thing. 
It's going to be nice. 

1206
00:55:59,720 --> 00:56:03,160
Let me ask you this are you 
going to buy any clothing for 

1207
00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:05,000
the show, either out there or 
before? 

1208
00:56:05,360 --> 00:56:08,040
Yeah, probably. 
I mean, I've been fucking 

1209
00:56:08,040 --> 00:56:10,560
looking around for trainers. 
That's weird. 

1210
00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:13,480
It's not like you have. 
I've definitely been looking for

1211
00:56:13,480 --> 00:56:16,360
the traders that I nearly bought
when I seen them advertised 

1212
00:56:16,360 --> 00:56:17,320
first like a couple of months 
ago. 

1213
00:56:17,320 --> 00:56:19,760
And then you go to look again, 
they're on like Farfetcher or 

1214
00:56:19,840 --> 00:56:22,200
stock X and they're like £600 
and you're like, I should have 

1215
00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:25,840
bought them. 
So I would like this is what I 

1216
00:56:25,840 --> 00:56:29,800
would like to do. 
I would like, I would like to 

1217
00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:33,440
order a pair of shoes, maybe new
jeans or something like that. 

1218
00:56:33,880 --> 00:56:35,680
Have them ready. 
Yeah. 

1219
00:56:36,200 --> 00:56:39,240
And then leave the window open 
for a new T-shirt slash short 

1220
00:56:39,240 --> 00:56:40,440
sleeve shirt. 
Not there. 

1221
00:56:40,440 --> 00:56:42,720
You're not burdening yourself 
with too much extra stuff to 

1222
00:56:42,720 --> 00:56:44,720
take home. 
If push comes to shovel wear AT 

1223
00:56:44,720 --> 00:56:48,280
shirt that I brought but I'm 
leaving but I'm leaving space 

1224
00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:49,000
you. 
Shouldn't have to do that. 

1225
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:51,640
I'm leaving space in the bag for
a top. 

1226
00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:54,200
Or two. 
I mean, that's brief and 

1227
00:56:54,200 --> 00:56:56,040
powerful and I like it. 
It's just this. 

1228
00:56:56,240 --> 00:56:58,240
It's just smart. 
I might go the other way. 

1229
00:56:58,320 --> 00:57:00,200
I might. 
I might leave the shoe option 

1230
00:57:00,200 --> 00:57:02,400
right there, see what happens. 
I'll go. 

1231
00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:04,680
The other way. 
I'll arrive there, put my pants,

1232
00:57:06,160 --> 00:57:08,360
try and collect it all. 
So you're going to just go 

1233
00:57:08,720 --> 00:57:11,000
sandals? 
Yes over no pair. 

1234
00:57:11,080 --> 00:57:13,960
Just don't just full pair. 
Get the barks on and. 

1235
00:57:13,960 --> 00:57:15,360
Get over there, buy a pair of 
shoes. 

1236
00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:16,480
Yeah, I'd like to get a pair. 
Of shoes. 

1237
00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:19,040
No, I'll go fucking like if I 
go, if you take me to like a 

1238
00:57:19,040 --> 00:57:21,440
food asylum or something, I'll 
be like, how much is it the 

1239
00:57:21,440 --> 00:57:23,640
check to suitcases? 
On to this fucking. 

1240
00:57:23,640 --> 00:57:26,480
You're like the wife of an 
oligarch, You know, he's like 

1241
00:57:26,480 --> 00:57:28,920
doing the work. 
You're just like I need a lot. 

1242
00:57:30,320 --> 00:57:34,360
And I just developed that I put 
it in put all shoes in bag 

1243
00:57:34,360 --> 00:57:36,920
place. 
We need a bargain colony. 

1244
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:39,120
There's no room on play around 
my testes. 

1245
00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:42,680
Yeah, I was in, yeah, going to 
one of those Westfield places 

1246
00:57:42,680 --> 00:57:45,080
and there's like a food asylum 
and I'm just like, fucking get 

1247
00:57:45,080 --> 00:57:46,680
it all in there. 
Tell it up. 

1248
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:48,080
Tell it up. 
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

1249
00:57:48,720 --> 00:57:51,600
I'll go somewhere like that, 
travel really far to my way and 

1250
00:57:51,600 --> 00:57:54,240
then go. 
Don't like anything you know? 

1251
00:57:54,240 --> 00:57:55,960
No, I just fucking spray and 
pray. 

1252
00:57:55,960 --> 00:57:58,800
I'm just like, we'll get it in 
the bag, we'll decide later. 

1253
00:57:58,840 --> 00:58:00,960
Yeah, you got to go in there 
with something nice on or else 

1254
00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:03,360
they don't take you seriously. 
We should buy outfits for each 

1255
00:58:03,360 --> 00:58:06,160
other. 
Don't know what it is till 

1256
00:58:06,160 --> 00:58:07,960
you're not allowed to look at it
till you go on stage. 

1257
00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:10,960
You just walk on stage looking 
like Vanilla Ice because I 

1258
00:58:10,960 --> 00:58:13,760
dressed you. 
I have PVC see through blazer 

1259
00:58:13,760 --> 00:58:19,720
and trousers. 
Deck all all steamy inside it 

1260
00:58:19,720 --> 00:58:23,160
though. 
I'd be happy enough. 

1261
00:58:23,160 --> 00:58:24,880
I like that. 
For you, for you to wear that. 

1262
00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:26,680
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 
That'd be cool. 

1263
00:58:26,720 --> 00:58:30,200
Just all sideways deck. 
I would put you out in like, do 

1264
00:58:30,320 --> 00:58:32,960
you know what I think you would 
hate and be so uncomfortable in 

1265
00:58:33,440 --> 00:58:36,520
just like a tourist hoodie. 
I think you'd fucking hate that,

1266
00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:39,800
you know, like, like a London 
with Buckingham Palace under it,

1267
00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:43,240
you know, fuck your. 
Heads, but I don't know because 

1268
00:58:43,240 --> 00:58:45,400
you could you could you could 
get like if you got a nice 

1269
00:58:45,400 --> 00:58:48,240
vintage washed out one, no brand
new, OK. 

1270
00:58:48,560 --> 00:58:51,280
It says 2021. 
Cheap, cheap print on it. 

1271
00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:54,400
Yeah, we Beefeater guy on it. 
Really bad fit, like the 

1272
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:56,840
shoulders come out a wee bit too
much and then go back in. 

1273
00:58:57,080 --> 00:58:58,560
I'll buy you those. 
I'll buy you a pair of. 

1274
00:58:58,560 --> 00:59:01,200
Those that doesn't happen when I
work close, like the shoulder 

1275
00:59:01,200 --> 00:59:04,760
never goes out to yeah, there's 
never space in the shoulders. 

1276
00:59:05,240 --> 00:59:09,560
I'll buy you like, you know, 1 
coloured jeans with no like fade

1277
00:59:09,560 --> 00:59:12,080
in them or anything. 
Like that solid a solid back 

1278
00:59:12,160 --> 00:59:14,280
like a solid black Jean is a 
nightmare for. 

1279
00:59:14,280 --> 00:59:17,040
Me and and indoor tights, indoor
football shoes. 

1280
00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:20,600
Oh wow, yeah. 
Boot cut jeans. 

1281
00:59:20,720 --> 00:59:23,400
Yeah. 
Puma King Astro Turf trainers. 

1282
00:59:25,320 --> 00:59:29,280
You couldn't do the game. 
You wouldn't even have to go 

1283
00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:31,200
that far. 
Like the shape of my legs. 

1284
00:59:31,320 --> 00:59:35,880
If you just bought me skinny 
jeans and like Chelsea boots, I 

1285
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:37,440
would just look like a shell and
pony. 

1286
00:59:37,960 --> 00:59:40,400
Snood up right? 
Doesn't take much to make me 

1287
00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:44,520
look fucking stupid, like I 
would just give you a full FUBU.

1288
00:59:45,520 --> 00:59:50,000
Daishiki Jean shirt combo do rag
yeah, I mean, let's do it. 

1289
00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:54,720
That'll be a lot of fun yeah. 
We'll put the ticket thing in 

1290
00:59:54,720 --> 00:59:58,560
the description and that you're 
only like, you know, like you 

1291
00:59:58,560 --> 01:00:01,400
want to work peace or anything 
or anything you want to just. 

1292
01:00:01,920 --> 01:00:04,560
Just like any sign off. 
Yeah, some shout out for. 

1293
01:00:04,880 --> 01:00:07,160
Any causes or? 
Just, you know, like the 

1294
01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:10,440
probably is going to be another 
lockdown, so why not just go to 

1295
01:00:10,480 --> 01:00:13,400
all the gigs where there? 
Yeah, yeah, make him make hay 

1296
01:00:13,400 --> 01:00:15,280
while the sun shines. 
Get a vaccine. 

1297
01:00:15,280 --> 01:00:17,480
Drop the bags off. 
You got a vaccine? 

1298
01:00:17,600 --> 01:00:18,800
Yeah. 
Two vaxes, Yeah. 

1299
01:00:18,960 --> 01:00:21,840
Class, Yeah. 
I got 2 in each on them, you 

1300
01:00:21,840 --> 01:00:23,520
know, just because you can never
be sure. 

1301
01:00:23,640 --> 01:00:25,360
Yeah, yeah, I know. 
I got them ages ago because I 

1302
01:00:25,360 --> 01:00:28,160
have Crohn's. 
But yeah, no, no, I know you 

1303
01:00:28,160 --> 01:00:31,200
didn't know that, but I've. 
I've Crohn's disease, so I got, 

1304
01:00:31,200 --> 01:00:34,480
I got, I got the vaccines, 2017.
You're in a fucking enigma. 

1305
01:00:35,920 --> 01:00:37,360
Don't know, don't give out. 
You're like Kate Moss. 

1306
01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:39,840
You say nothing, don't know 
anything about you. 

1307
01:00:39,960 --> 01:00:41,800
Is Kate Moss known for saying 
nothing? 

1308
01:00:42,120 --> 01:00:43,560
Yeah, she hasn't spoke her whole
career. 

1309
01:00:44,240 --> 01:00:45,800
What? 
Is that not true? 

1310
01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:49,440
Coming on the podcast next week.
She she, she does audiobooks for

1311
01:00:49,440 --> 01:00:52,480
camp. 
No, she she Yeah, she famously 

1312
01:00:52,480 --> 01:00:55,360
just has not really said 
anything publicly ever. 

1313
01:00:56,080 --> 01:00:57,720
Oh well, you'll probably find 
something. 

1314
01:00:57,720 --> 01:01:00,120
But yeah, she just has like a 
horrific voice. 

1315
01:01:00,880 --> 01:01:02,920
She sounds like my. 
She sounds like Milton Keyes, 

1316
01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:07,800
fucking Kate Moss. 
You can't all of fucking gear, 

1317
01:01:07,800 --> 01:01:09,120
mate. 
Take more picture, Mike. 

1318
01:01:09,200 --> 01:01:11,800
Oh, yeah. 
Hey, what's on? 

1319
01:01:11,800 --> 01:01:14,280
He takes. 
Shout out to Milton Keyes, all 

1320
01:01:14,280 --> 01:01:15,520
right, just coming on. 
Appreciate. 

1321
01:01:15,520 --> 01:01:16,920
Thanks very much. 
Go for food now. 

1322
01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:20,640
Skinners in Hollywood. 
I I hate Hollywood shout out. 

1323
01:01:20,800 --> 01:01:21,880
Everything you want in a bit of 
bread. 

1324
01:01:21,880 --> 01:01:24,880
Fuck you. 
It's so tight. 

1325
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:27,240
Can't get through it. 
That's why we like it. 

1326
01:01:27,240 --> 01:01:30,480
It's going to be pedestrianised.
Really big. 

1327
01:01:30,560 --> 01:01:33,440
Shouldn't say too much, I've 
heard it might just be 

1328
01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:34,840
pedestrianised and that'd be 
pretty cool. 

1329
01:01:36,640 --> 01:01:38,320
There you go. 
Because we all buy cars. 

1330
01:01:38,840 --> 01:01:40,080
I don't have Nissan cash guy 
but. 

1331
01:01:41,720 --> 01:01:44,960
I pulled the Jeep into that 
parking space there in coming 

1332
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:47,080
out and going back through the 
fence. 

1333
01:01:47,080 --> 01:01:48,960
Just leave it and out forward 
through the fence. 

1334
01:01:49,280 --> 01:01:50,560
Just leave it. 
Just getting on. 

1335
01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:53,000
Getting on, we'll store 
equipment in it.

