1 00:00:00,680 --> 00:00:03,560 I'm Michael Che and I'm Colin Jose, and we've got a little 2 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:05,280 secret. Actually, it's a pretty big 3 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:06,480 secret. Well, now you got to give the 4 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:08,360 people something. I'm not saying a word. 5 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:09,920 Oh, then people will know to tune in. 6 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:12,080 Come on, tell them a little. Like our hosting of comedy 7 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,440 events streaming only on Peacock. 8 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:15,520 Exactly how it's called New York After Dark. 9 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:18,080 And it's a comedy show that only features drop in comic. 10 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:19,840 Boom. You nail into Michael Che's 11 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:20,360 phone. Nervous. 12 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:21,960 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey. 13 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:25,720 New York After Dark. It's some kind of comedy thing. 14 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:28,000 And it's streaming now only on Peacock. 15 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:38,520 You love it. Zippers, welcome to this episode 16 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:44,320 of the tea with me podcast with me, she and Conan Todd, but you 17 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:49,160 didn't know that was my middle name, but it is big big episode 18 00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:51,840 this week where the the I can't just say January. 19 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:55,720 We've started as we mean to go on big episodes. 20 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,760 It's a fun time before we go anywhere, I want to plug the 21 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:02,320 Patreon, which is patreon.com/tea with me podcast. 22 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,280 If we had 1000. Bear in mind at the time of 23 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:10,520 recording we're about 9:50 if we had 1000 like consistently 24 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:11,840 consistent level If we had a thought. 25 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:15,200 There's some talk amongst the group here about what 26 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:20,800 constitutes get in 1000. Caveats, right with the name of 27 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:24,840 the indie bandit, Donna Micro. We are going to get tattoos of 28 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:27,240 we teacups. Willie G is going to do tattoos 29 00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:29,280 for us, and I'm roping everyone in. 30 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:33,680 Dan is reluctantly getting 1M. My guest. 31 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:35,560 I'm not even. Well, it's in the script, Karen, 32 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:37,320 but it's in the description. But don't say anything. 33 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:42,520 William Thompson. Who else said they get one? 34 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:44,920 Who do we phone? Oh, you we phone, Karen. 35 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:47,480 Maybe Dave will get one, who knows? 36 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:50,480 So if you want to join the Patreon and by the way, we do 37 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:54,120 like the bonus episodes, the live episodes, the live episode 38 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,320 from the limelights on there. There's stand up on there 39 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,440 Patreon, the comments I teach me podcast for a couple of quid a 40 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:01,520 month. But the tattoos should be the 41 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:05,880 main incentive. We're sponsored by none other 42 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:09,639 than Thompson's teas. Now let me tell you about these 43 00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:12,120 guys. These are this is a family of 44 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:17,240 tea nuts. These guys you couldn't go for a 45 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:21,080 dinner at the Thompson family household because all they want 46 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:24,520 to talk about is tea. And I loved, I mean, it's a tea 47 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:25,800 with me podcast. I love tea. 48 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:29,160 But compared to these guys, not not a patch. 49 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:33,480 They if you went to the Thompson family household for a dinner, 50 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:40,280 right, the starter would be tea. The means would be tea and what 51 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:41,800 are you going to wash that down with the dessert? 52 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:44,680 Pavlova, Because I know something but they like Pavlova. 53 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:46,280 But they have that with a cup of tea. 54 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:51,920 They make panjana and you go, is that is that not from like India 55 00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:54,440 or, you know, Sri Lanka or Boston? 56 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:57,400 No, it's not. That's from right here. 57 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,920 Belfour. We'll make it here, folks. 58 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,720 Sake. Sorry, I don't know if I should 59 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:04,800 have sworn you or not, but they're that passionate about 60 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:07,040 tea. It's made in Belfast, Punjab. 61 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:09,240 It's Northern Ireland's number one, selling tea, for God's 62 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:12,440 sake, which is if you're going to be #1 selling tea anywhere 63 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:16,000 here is probably the toughest place to be #1 because there's a 64 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,560 lot of guys running the boat trying to shift leaves. 65 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:24,240 You know, you've got, you've got Tetley spin on Tetley. 66 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:27,440 You've got PG Tips. Yeah. 67 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,760 What else? You else will run about Nambari 68 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:34,200 and then you've got Barry's. Too many Barrys. 69 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:36,840 The Thompsons are knocking on out of the park. 70 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,400 Panjana, keep drinking. It's Northern Ireland's number 71 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:43,560 one selling tea. We drinking, I mean we drinking 72 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,040 on the pod. You love it. 73 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:48,360 That's our that's our slogan. You love it, so just keep 74 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:51,240 drinking it. We are also sponsored by 75 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:53,920 Manscaped. Did you say landscaped? 76 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:58,480 Nope, I said Manscaped. The number one in men's below 77 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:02,160 the belt grooming. Everything above the belt, not 78 00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:03,640 sexy. Everything below the belt, if 79 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:07,440 it's done right, sexy. And these guys are, these guys 80 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,840 have been shearing blokes since a year dot. 81 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:11,920 In fact, that might only start a few years ago. 82 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:16,440 I don't know. Founded in 2070. 83 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:17,880 I don't know when they were founded. 84 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:22,880 All I know is if you're looking to neaten up, down below, and I 85 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:25,360 don't mean the ankles, I don't mean the knees, I mean 86 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:30,440 specifically your deck and balls, etcetera, your deck and 87 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:32,320 balls etcetera. I don't know what's going on 88 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:33,760 there. But I do know that if you take a 89 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:37,040 lawnmower 4.02, which is this electric razor the manscaped 90 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:41,200 have with wireless charging, I know you'll come out bald as it 91 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:46,280 could if you want down there. You basically like the new Year 92 00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:49,840 is a time where people go, oh, I'm going to start this at new 93 00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:52,480 year, new me. But actually, if you took your 94 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:55,320 trousers and pants off, you'd realise that it's still the old 95 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:56,960 you. You know, a lot of people are 96 00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:00,280 still unkept down there, you know, Tom Hanks and Castaway 97 00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:03,160 vibes. And that's not what you should 98 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,200 be. You know, Manscaped have these 99 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:09,600 quality products, Ball deodorant, ball cleanser, ball 100 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:12,320 wipes. Now I'm driving a Tesla this 101 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:14,920 week because they just gave me for a week and it self drives. 102 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:21,320 And what's more impressive than that is ball deodorant like Elon 103 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:22,520 Musk probably like that's hectic. 104 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:26,760 You're saying that genuinely, if you told me 10 years ago I'd be 105 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:30,160 talking to a camera about ball deodorant, I'd have said, I'd 106 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:33,080 have said you're crazy. But here we are doing it and we 107 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,640 have a deal with Manscape. We use a Code Tea with me for 108 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:40,640 20% off and free shipping. I, I made it sound like if you 109 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,040 do that, then there's something else. 110 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:44,600 But if you use a code tea with me, you get 20% off and free 111 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:46,800 shipping. I said if you use a code tea 112 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:49,800 with me and get 20 for free shipping, as if there'd be 113 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:50,840 something after that, but there isn't. 114 00:05:50,840 --> 00:06:02,360 That's all you need to. I'm too warm manscaped. 115 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:10,760 My guest today is none other than a man known to known to 116 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:16,320 some as the Goblin King, a man known to others as Twank, but 117 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:20,080 known simply to us as Kieran Maliki. 118 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:23,760 Jared Bartlett, Right or wrong? Right, right. 119 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:27,120 People think that the Jared is a confirmation name, but that's my 120 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,880 actual name. What's your confirmation name? 121 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:30,440 I wishes What? Martin. 122 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:32,040 Martin. After St. 123 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:36,200 Martin de Porres. Martin Deport, He plays for Real 124 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:38,960 Madrid. Yeah. 125 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:42,040 So like the make you pick a scent and then you learn about 126 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:43,720 that scent, right? I mean. 127 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,680 Martin de Porres, tell me more about him. 128 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:47,640 Something. Cute. 129 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:50,720 I believe, I believe a South American scent. 130 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:53,360 He would have to. He's certainly not from the 131 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:57,400 Shankle called Martin de Porres. De Porres and he he's not Irish, 132 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:02,160 but the the the apparently he could, he could buy locate, 133 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,880 which is not, I don't mean like when people say that. 134 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:08,280 Can you buy locate? I'm like, is that like a type of 135 00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:12,040 gay door for like by people? But like, you could be in two, 136 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:15,840 you could be in two places at once, just doing shit. 137 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:16,920 Martin de Porres. Yeah. 138 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:20,080 So Martin de Porres could be could be playing badminton but 139 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,720 also making an omelette. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 140 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:30,000 Who's your favourite St? Alan St Maximan No, who's my 141 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:35,240 favourite St Shit I enjoy. I enjoy because we want the 142 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,360 Aquinas. We'll go Thomas Aquinas like you 143 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:38,640 know what I mean? What was he known for? 144 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:43,440 For being thick, apparently, but then like like thick as people 145 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:47,480 thought he was thick but then turns out like he's an amazing 146 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:50,160 philosopher and you know, story of my. 147 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:54,400 Life people think I'm this like thick, you know, you know, 148 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:59,440 airhead bimbo guy secretly ask me anything, ask me anything. 149 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,360 Ask Yeah. Have you ever used the ball 150 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:02,000 wipes? I have. 151 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:06,880 The ball wipes, no. The ball toner, yes. 152 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,560 And I looked at my balls after and I thought are these more 153 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:10,960 toned? And the answer was yes. 154 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:12,160 Toner. Yeah. 155 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,960 Like, is that like makeup for your balls? 156 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,720 No, it's like to just tone the skin. 157 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:19,360 All right, OK. All right. 158 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:22,840 What that means? Like well I I got used. 159 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:27,160 The ball wipes. I got, I got the wipes for, I 160 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,800 mean, I'm saying for Christmas, I didn't buy them for myself 161 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,360 ahead of Christmas, you know, like I didn't get them. 162 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:33,919 You know where you go. I'm getting that is. 163 00:08:33,919 --> 00:08:35,400 This a gift from your wife? Yeah. 164 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:36,720 It'd be weird if it was your mom. 165 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:37,760 Wouldn't I know? Yeah, yeah. 166 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:40,159 But also, even though coming from your wife, it is slightly 167 00:08:40,159 --> 00:08:42,919 weird because it is sort of somebody going sort, sort your 168 00:08:42,919 --> 00:08:45,840 bollocks out, but like. Did you did she use our discount 169 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:48,040 code? She may well have, I don't know. 170 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:50,120 We'll have to look. Into that because if not, tell 171 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,760 her to send the products back used or unused and then buy them 172 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,520 again. Used or used or used. 173 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,520 Oh no, you could say. Do you think there's a market to 174 00:08:57,520 --> 00:09:03,080 buy your used balls? I think probably, yeah. 175 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:05,280 Probably in north Belfast. No, Yeah, You know what I mean. 176 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,840 Knots Corner. Smithfield, If you set up a shop 177 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,960 in Smith, a retail unit, Smithfield on your ball. 178 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:12,760 Yeah, if that was going to be anywhere, it would be 179 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:13,440 Smithfield. Yeah. 180 00:09:13,680 --> 00:09:19,320 Let me ask you this big shooter, if you if human existence was 181 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:22,560 wiped out but you were the only person left. 182 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,040 You know that like movie scenario? 183 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:26,760 Yeah, Would I still wear clothes? 184 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:30,320 No, I know you wouldn't wear clothes, but what would you, 185 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,520 what would you get up to? What would you do? 186 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:37,600 Like would you, you know, would you go and like buy, like not 187 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,720 buy? Would you go and get the best 188 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:41,560 car you could? Would you like to wrap around 189 00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:43,120 Belfast driving a Ferrari? How? 190 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,760 How His human existence been wiped out, Right? 191 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,000 Yeah. Where all the people are dead 192 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,160 apart from me, but cars are still a thing. 193 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,520 Is it just? It's just happened and it's it's 194 00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:56,360 a thing you can't explain. And you could let me ask you 195 00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:58,000 this. Would you dedicate time to 196 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,000 finding out what happened or would you just be like, well, 197 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,680 fuck, it's happened. Let me just. 198 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:06,120 Get I'd probably put on a one man show of what happened. 199 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,240 You know what I mean? Just directed. 200 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,600 Directed by Produced by starring. 201 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:14,280 Imagine like one other person that survived and they were like 202 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,640 looking for life all over Belfast and they kept kept 203 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:19,360 hearing this wee bit of a noise like a like a top, like a top, 204 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:22,120 top, top and like it kept drawing them towards like 205 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:25,160 Belfast and or like Ryan Strom Millis and it was like top, top, 206 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:26,520 top. And they're like someone may be 207 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:28,800 doing Morse code or whatever. If I lost my mind. 208 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,360 And then it just LED them into the lyric and you had two top 209 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,680 shoes on and you were performing a one man show called 210 00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:38,440 Desolation. I don't know what I would do in 211 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:40,360 that situation. Would you? 212 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:43,360 No, but would you like? A play FIFA if it was still 213 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:44,880 available. Everything's available, 214 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:47,360 everything's untouched. It's just all humans are gone. 215 00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:51,360 So you can make your own subway. You make your own sub. 216 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,720 I love that that's your level. So you could like. 217 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,560 The world, the world's yours and you want to go in the subway, 218 00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:58,680 you want to put a wee bit more meat in. 219 00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:02,240 Yeah, just no, it's I would just, I would do the sauce right 220 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:05,480 the never sauce it properly. As in they do too much or too 221 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:08,760 little or what's your great? Things, they never sauce it 222 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:12,560 right to the end, right? So you always get a dry bite on 223 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,280 both ends. I've stopped all this the way to 224 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:16,880 before, not because of that reason. 225 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:18,160 What? What's the reason? 226 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,920 I think I said this before, it was about like the the weird 227 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:24,720 somebody did like Adna test of their chin of Mayo and realised 228 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:26,720 like there's no chin in it. So I was like. 229 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:31,040 What do you mean they did a DNA like like like ancestry type? 230 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:33,320 No, like, you know, like they, they had like a. 231 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:38,000 Just tuna, Spanish with Irish. Some kind of some kind of like 232 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,480 chemical thing like, you know where the like they're they're 233 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:43,480 able to profile what's in it and there was no fish in. 234 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:44,520 It do you know what I like, right? 235 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,160 You. You know I'm the unwise 236 00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:49,120 philosopher, right? I don't really know a lot of 237 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:52,080 stuff, and you do, and it's very rare you're called out. 238 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:54,560 But when I said is it like a chemical? 239 00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:56,440 You said as a chemical thing and I asked you more about it. 240 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:57,680 You don't know what they did to it. 241 00:11:58,160 --> 00:11:59,920 It's ADNI profile. Yeah, but. 242 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:02,760 But I mean like they don't, they don't send it to Ancestry. 243 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:04,760 They'll come and go order this tuner. 244 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:05,600 Have you ever? Done. 245 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:07,400 That well, ancestry. Said tuner. 246 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,200 Now, have you ever liked? Sampachi bones in do. 247 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:13,240 You know much about your ancestors. 248 00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:17,120 I know some, genuinely, yeah. Like what? 249 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:20,680 Well, like my great my great grounder fought World War One. 250 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:25,520 It sounds like a great guy. So I think he has squad of kids 251 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:28,200 classic like. With him in World War, with him 252 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:35,120 in. World War like seven teenagers 253 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:38,080 to the song. Get under your weak bastards. 254 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,240 You're going to work with your nanny today. 255 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,960 He now apparently I think he had a squad of kids. 256 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:48,120 So my my granny was born in 19 O 4 right? 257 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:52,400 And she was the she was the eldest in their family, so 258 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:54,280 between. 19 Belfast. Yeah. 259 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:59,520 So between 19-O four and like 1914 when the world when the war 260 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:03,520 started, in that 10 years, I think they had six or seven 261 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,680 kids. And he was in the war. 262 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:07,800 So. Was he sending it back? 263 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:10,960 So my granny's mom died, right? Right. 264 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:15,680 And then like at the near the start of the war, my granny was 265 00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:19,480 sort of then as the oldest was like raising her brothers and 266 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:24,560 sisters from like being like 9 or 10, right, made her made her 267 00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:30,840 dead on by the way. And then and and then I think 268 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:37,080 around 1916, McGregor Granda went, I know what I'll do. 269 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:41,200 I'll go to the fucking war. And he went over to the war just 270 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:43,240 doing his head short. He was in the in a skill and 271 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:44,400 Fusiliers. Yeah. 272 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:49,760 And I went. I went just like in a bit of 273 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:51,600 fucking peace. Yeah, Shard. 274 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,840 With mustard gas. So he went and got He's going. 275 00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:58,640 He's going, trust me, if you fucking. 276 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,640 Listen to her. I've just I've just remembered, 277 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,960 mate, this is fucking excellent. I can't believe that this has 278 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:05,440 come up. So is the Alexander Branham was 279 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:06,600 his name right? So he went. 280 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:11,440 He went over to the war, got mustard cast and then and 281 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:13,320 riddled, apparently with machine gunfire. 282 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:16,200 With he meant like with. With some sort of syphilis, 283 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:19,880 Yeah. No, he, he with trench deck. 284 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:23,240 And so I, I love diseases like that, you know, where they're 285 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:25,360 like, it's like a name like that. 286 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:27,360 Like crotch rot or like trench food? 287 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:30,480 Because it it's what it's like, Ron T, like trench foot is what 288 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:32,040 it is. Yeah, it's a trench and it's 289 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:35,040 your foot mixed and then. But hold on, you're saying he 290 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,720 got rid of a machine gun? Fire, yes, I only found this out 291 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:40,560 recently and I do mean recently, like in the last four or five 292 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:42,440 years, I found out what really happened to him because I know 293 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:45,480 that he came back from the war and died from his wounds like a 294 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:48,040 year later. However, the wound that I was 295 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:51,440 told, and I do mean this and I sucked this in until it was in 296 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:57,080 my 30s, was he had been. So there was apparently a metal 297 00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:00,800 like like metal bit in the heel of the boots. 298 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:05,040 And I, I get told this, this is the story I was told a sniper. 299 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:09,520 So he was, he was apparently land prone and a sniper called 300 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:13,920 his profile and fired on him and the bullet apparently went down 301 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:18,680 down through his shoulder here and then went through, down 302 00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:22,760 through him hit. This is what I was told hit the, 303 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:28,160 the cap, the, the, the, the heel of the boot ricocheted and went 304 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:31,360 up and took his toe off. And I was totally died because 305 00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:32,720 of the toe wank rank dangerousness. 306 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:34,760 And I sucked down until I was in my 30s. 307 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:38,280 And then Arlene was doing research on it and found out 308 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:42,120 that actually now he'd been like smattering of machine gunfire 309 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,600 and muster gas and came home and died of that. 310 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:47,400 But I do have a story about what a sound guy was. 311 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:50,120 But can I, can I just ask? Can I ask a question? 312 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,000 I don't mean to be rude. Am I what? 313 00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:56,040 Was he a Chuckle Brother? Yes. 314 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:59,600 He got a shot through the shoulder and hit his heel. 315 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:06,680 He went through his toe. Made a shoe really like I got 316 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:13,000 told this this is my dad told me and I believed it so so hard. 317 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:21,080 The Chuckle Brothers in the First World War. 318 00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:24,960 So they're in charge. They're in charge of the Canon. 319 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:26,520 You don't want to know how this goes. 320 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,080 So. It's pointed the wrong way. 321 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:33,440 So apparently when he came back, my granny had been making lens 322 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:38,200 meet by but maybe she was 10 minutes. 323 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:43,120 So we should be making Lens meet by making soda bread and potato 324 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:46,200 bread and like waiting and selling it in the streets, like 325 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:49,200 in the like, I don't mean like going around the street, like 326 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:51,120 just going bread here. Like, I mean selling the two 327 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:52,960 people in her St on the next street. 328 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:57,200 OK. And he came back and found out 329 00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:00,440 about this and my granny whipped up a batch and so little. 330 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:04,000 And then she made her, he made her go round the street and give 331 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,400 all the money back, but not take the bread back off people 332 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:10,119 because we're not beggars. And then he died. 333 00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:11,839 So he just seems like a bit of a whack. 334 00:17:11,839 --> 00:17:14,480 What the shit has come back of all time? 335 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:17,000 Could have been a cool guy back from where I got shot. 336 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,359 Oh, what happened? Well, fucking long story, 337 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:21,760 Bugster. But it give all them. 338 00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:25,680 Do you know what that's exactly? Do you know that's exactly like 339 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:33,920 I whenever I was a child, like Peace P4P5I had a toy car, had a 340 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,360 few toy cars, but one of them in particular was a little 341 00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:38,560 Mercedes. And it was kind of cool. 342 00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:41,120 And there was a guy in my class called Ross McCrory. 343 00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:42,520 Let's not shy away from his name. 344 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:45,200 And he was a car guy and he liked it. 345 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:48,920 And he said that's a real nice wee car. 346 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:52,360 And I said, yeah, no worries. He goes, I'd be interested in 347 00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:55,640 acquiring it. And I said I'll sell you this 348 00:17:56,040 --> 00:18:00,760 for 5 lbs. And he said no worries, Comes in 349 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,640 the next day, cash in hand. Here he is. 350 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:05,480 There's your fiver, his pocket money, whatever. 351 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:09,120 I give him the wee toy car. My dad finds out about it, 352 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:14,360 drives me to his house, Ross Mccrory's house. 353 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:16,160 I've been because he fancied the guy's mom, right? 354 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:19,560 My dad drives me to Ross Mccrory's house, forces me to 355 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:24,480 hand back the £5 and then goes leaves the car and then goes. 356 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:25,720 We obviously didn't want the car. 357 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:32,120 Oh mate, I would. Not, and I brought this up maybe 358 00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:36,000 15 years later to my dad and when the severity of it, when it 359 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:40,160 was said back to him, he realised he'd done wrong and I 360 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,400 made him give me. Have I told you a story about my 361 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:44,440 wee soldiers? Pardon. 362 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:47,720 My I had these wee action figures that you could get, you 363 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:49,360 could buy. He bought them two at a time. 364 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:53,000 No, but like they came and passed the 2 is what I mean. 365 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:59,040 And the IT wasn't like some sort of weird, you know, it must be 366 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:03,680 two. The IT was the recalled core, 367 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:12,160 like C, you know, like CORPS and corps, yes, and core men or core 368 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:14,880 action figures, right, and they're all they're all 369 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:17,400 different. So there were we do about that 370 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:22,680 size, but all the joints moved all them like wrists, elbows, 371 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:26,920 shoulders, Dick, everything moved head and all right, and 372 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:30,600 they all had like a different weapon and they all the role of 373 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:33,040 like from different special forces all over the world, 374 00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:34,960 right. And there was about 40 of these 375 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:37,160 fucking things and they all had like that you could get 376 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,240 different vehicles and all for them. 377 00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,000 Where would you get them? A specialist shop. 378 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:44,280 Duns and the toy bit and Duns all right, used to be a toy bit 379 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,520 or you would get them in toy shops at that time. 380 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:49,960 And there was a few part for two of them and I used to look like 381 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,760 my sister worked in duns. So like if we were ever going 382 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:55,040 down normal mum was doing a bit of shopping and duns in parks 383 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:58,160 out there, I'd have been like Sheila, right? 384 00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:04,760 So I was wrong me but. And I had a lot of these, right? 385 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:07,000 And they were the shit. Like they were the shit, right, 386 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,240 Because they weren't as big as like an action man. 387 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,040 Do you know what I mean? Like there were, there were, 388 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:12,400 and. You have more control over 389 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,880 there. More dexterity and they were all 390 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,360 different. Like it would be like, here's a 391 00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:19,000 guy from like Korean special forces. 392 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,000 French Foreign Legion. Here's a French Foreign Legion 393 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,720 guy. Here's a fun Australian Outback 394 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:26,640 guy. Your mum was in it and I don't 395 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:31,640 believe you, but I'm the and was she actually the tape woman? 396 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:33,920 What do they take women in the French foreigners? 397 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:35,400 Looking horrible attitude, continuous story. 398 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:42,000 They as cat up my street. Have I told you a story before? 399 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,480 I'm not over this. Like I mean this comes up. 400 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:48,840 What age did you have been here? It right this comes up 401 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:53,080 surprisingly regularly in my life right as cat up my street. 402 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:54,960 I'll tell you his name. Simon he. 403 00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:59,480 I heard him already, Simon. So he was new on our street, 404 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,520 right? And I was playing with him. 405 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,760 He's a year older. me and I was playing with him and we were 406 00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:07,400 playing with my soldiers and I left them on my front doorstep 407 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:11,800 to go and get my dinner and when I came out he was gone and loads 408 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,800 of the wee soldiers were gone. So how many roughly did you 409 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:16,280 leave? How many roughly would he have 410 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:18,520 taken with him? I had about 10 or 12 of these 411 00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:19,880 things. Sitting on the doorstep. 412 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,360 And I think when I came out there was like 2 left, right? 413 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:24,520 So he'd taken quite a lot of them. 414 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,120 I'm not happy, right? And he lived up around our 415 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:31,400 corner and I wasn't allowed to go up there on meal on the 416 00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:34,920 Blacks Road. And I'm, you know, the ghetto. 417 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:40,720 And I, my brother sort of walked me around and I knocked his door 418 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:43,120 and I was like, what's the price? 419 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:44,680 And it's like, I don't have them. 420 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,520 And I went, I'm not buying this, right? 421 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:49,480 So like the next day I was like distraught. 422 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:50,960 And we're looking for them. Did you cry? 423 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:54,680 Definitely and I'm. Like making a noise shoulders in 424 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,040 it. I could cry now about what went 425 00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:58,400 on right, because I'd be a great. 426 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:04,280 So I, I, I, I was distraught. He can't, he was in the street 427 00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:08,080 the next day and I went outside and went, mate, you know, come 428 00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:12,160 on, you've fucking taken these like, and he ran up to his house 429 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,760 and I was like, he's definitely got them. 430 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:18,440 And I went then and I called for Jim, right? 431 00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:22,400 I went to Bartlett front and centre, sort me right? 432 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:25,600 And I says to him like he told him what had happened and he's 433 00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:29,760 like fuck sake, right? So we'll go up the street and he 434 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:31,920 knocks on the door and he's speaking to Simon's man. 435 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:35,400 She's like, oh mummy, right? So she goes in and says to Simon 436 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:38,920 and the next thing Simon comes out to the door, begged, tears 437 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:41,400 in his eyes. And I go on right because I know 438 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:45,280 I'm getting my shit back. He'd smashed loads on like they 439 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:48,040 were in bets like. Do you think he'd done that 440 00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,680 because he knew inevitably he was going to have to hand them 441 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:52,520 back so and he didn't want you to enjoy them? 442 00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:53,840 I think so. I'm not over this. 443 00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:56,640 And he so caught some of them were in bets, right? 444 00:22:57,120 --> 00:23:01,440 And I'm like, oh, mate. And my dad was like, that's OK, 445 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,840 that's fine, right? A couple of them are OK, get 446 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:08,120 back to the house. And my dad has, you know, Jim 447 00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:10,280 Bartlett's engineer's mind. Go on. 448 00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:11,920 I'll fix this. Right? 449 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,800 So he puts them together and what can only be described as a 450 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:20,600 mishmash of he fucks it. No, no, like he was good at 451 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,240 putting stuff. I guess he was good at this. 452 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:25,680 This was a shit he really was like and he was trying to 453 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:30,560 fucking spur me. You know if I've lost 8 of them, 454 00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:33,040 I'm going to get 5 back here, right? 455 00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:35,160 Made-up of spur random bits, right? 456 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,840 Oh, so it might be like another guy's arm. 457 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,240 It was like. One guy's torso, somebody else's 458 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:43,240 legs, Frankenstein, an arm, a face, Right. 459 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,920 Yeah. And so I'm getting some shit 460 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,080 back. But it was like, you know, 461 00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:50,440 here's a guy from the Outback wearing wee shorts with, like, a 462 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:52,240 Navy Savers mask on. You're like. 463 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:54,960 Did you look down on the ones that weren't like the rest? 464 00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,200 Of them, I definitely looked down on these because one of 465 00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:02,760 them, like the fifth guy had a marker lid for an arm, like a 466 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:06,800 long white marker lid. And I went, I remember being it 467 00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:10,440 and thinking, Jim, what the fucks this right? 468 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,160 Yeah. And I went, what's that? 469 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:16,120 And my dad was like, it's like a cannon for his arm love. 470 00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:18,360 I'm Jim. Yes, Jim, you're shave. 471 00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:20,960 You're shaving me. Like Jim at the time was very 472 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:25,000 forward thinking because in 2022, all they would all have to 473 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:25,640 be like that. Yeah. 474 00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:27,760 They'd be like, why couldn't, Why couldn't this person have a 475 00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:29,680 marker live, you know? So I like that. 476 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:33,840 From your dad, yeah. He's progressive, yeah, but 477 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:37,000 yeah, I'm not a lot like. Did you ever see that kid again 478 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:38,080 or? Yeah, like it was me at some 479 00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,440 toes about 13. What's it Julie's doing with his 480 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,560 life now? I don't actually know. 481 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:45,360 I don't know what he's doing. It's interesting. 482 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:48,600 Presumably, you know smashing toys, but I'm. 483 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:53,000 Smashing things up. I, I had a guy where I lived 484 00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:57,680 again, just moved to the area, right, which was always like, 485 00:24:58,080 --> 00:24:59,960 you've got to be very careful how you play it. 486 00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:06,240 If you're new, you know, it's easy to, I think kids especially 487 00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:11,320 obviously like you lie when you move to a new place, which I, I 488 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,360 didn't, right. But I watch it happen a lot 489 00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:17,960 where kids would come to a new place and had a chance to just 490 00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:21,200 tell their own truth, tell a version of who they were. 491 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:26,480 And this kid moved in. And so I'm knocking about, you 492 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:28,400 know, maybe joined them was playing football. 493 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,280 I sort of got a bit MIDI with him. 494 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:34,520 And I said because like when you're a kid, right, when you're 495 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,560 when you meet him, when you're an adult and you meet an adult, 496 00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:38,200 one of the lead and queer, Oh, what's your name? 497 00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:40,160 Tell you my name, shake hands, whatever. 498 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:43,320 Care about your Bartlett? When you're a kid, there's no 499 00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:46,080 formalities like that. So after being made to this guy 500 00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:49,320 for about two months, I went What's your name? 501 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:52,440 And he goes. I've definitely done that. 502 00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:58,400 He goes. Sheen and I went Uncle, uncle 503 00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,360 Sheen too. He's like, you know, and I went 504 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:02,520 Oh, what mad? We're both called Sheen. 505 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:05,200 He's like I know. And I was like that's like weird 506 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:08,000 the Sheen's or whatever. And he thought that was Class 2. 507 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,960 And then about six months later, I was playing with some other 508 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:16,160 boys from like this did. And then they went, I mentioned 509 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:17,200 she. I was like, we'll get she in to 510 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:18,960 play with this and all. And they were like, who? 511 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,240 I was like Sheen. And they're like a guy's called 512 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:27,680 Matthew. I confronted him about this and 513 00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,360 I was like, you said your name was Sheen. 514 00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,080 He said, yeah, it is. I said they said you're all 515 00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:33,160 called Matthew. Oh, yeah. 516 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,080 I said, did you say your name was Chain? 517 00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:40,720 That like impressed me. And he's like, yeah, I just 518 00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:41,640 thought, be cool if I was called. 519 00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:43,280 You were called. I know. 520 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:48,960 There was a wheel out of my first school class called 521 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,600 another Karen. He was called another Karen, 522 00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:55,640 Yeah, and another Karen. And I would have referred to him 523 00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:57,600 as the bold Karen because he was. 524 00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,400 So it's like which? Character from an Oscar Y the. 525 00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:05,480 Bold Karen. Yeah, but it was like he was. 526 00:27:06,120 --> 00:27:09,120 I would also like if I did something bold, I would 527 00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:12,080 sometimes come home and confess to it and say the bold Karen did 528 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:14,840 it here. Technically it's head if you 529 00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:17,360 know you. You're walking a thin line 530 00:27:17,360 --> 00:27:19,280 because you potentially could have been a school shooter. 531 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:21,120 And when they said like, why did you do it? 532 00:27:21,120 --> 00:27:22,880 You would go the bold Karen did it. 533 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,120 I mean, I was obsessed. There was an Army helmet in my 534 00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:33,120 class and I wore it every day like I was obsessed with to the 535 00:27:33,120 --> 00:27:35,800 point where when I left that school my mom had to buy me. 536 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:42,080 Another one an upper SEC. Yeah, I loved it. 537 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:45,520 It had that and that moment, you know, for like putting that's a 538 00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:49,120 shed into like leaves and all. No, I just I just imagine you in 539 00:27:49,120 --> 00:27:51,520 class I was. Literally like 4. 540 00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:53,760 I was adorable. No, you were. 541 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:58,040 Private partner. To every morning reporting for 542 00:27:58,040 --> 00:27:59,080 Judy. All right, Karen, I. 543 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:04,160 Was a general all right, that's that's not the most way boss me 544 00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:05,760 about fucking thirty grade service. 545 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:09,800 What was I going to say though? No, I I'm not over that toys 546 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:11,080 thing. But yeah, that thing's funny 547 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:14,040 about about being in UK. Were you ever the new kid? 548 00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:16,480 No, no, not in terms of even of moving, but did you ever move 549 00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:19,920 schools? No, only women like we you moved 550 00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:23,200 to like bigger school like I never transferred schools. 551 00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:26,080 I did 3 primary schools right. Why? 552 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:28,280 Because you kept shooting up with an army helmet and they're 553 00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:35,280 like OK. Yeah, because it was. 554 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:39,120 I was coming in with like soap and a sock and beating the fuck 555 00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:44,040 out of the other kids. But I'm I was, well, I moved 556 00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:45,760 house. I moved house. 557 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:47,480 You're like, seriously. Why? 558 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:48,120 Yeah. Yeah. 559 00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,200 No, I moved house. Made the answer is not fun. 560 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:56,440 Like I moved house for the first one and then I did two years in 561 00:28:56,440 --> 00:29:02,920 there in the second school and then I was victimised by a 562 00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:05,360 teacher in there. And were you? 563 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:07,600 Yeah. And then I left there and went 564 00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:08,880 to the skillet. I stayed in there. 565 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:11,920 Was the teacher like very Republican you kept showing up 566 00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:14,600 in your? I was showing up and she was 567 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:18,880 very republican and I was SDLP, you know, So she didn't like, 568 00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:20,400 she didn't like. Why did a teacher just take 569 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,840 against you? She she was a Dick. 570 00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:25,800 She was a Dick like against other people in the class too. 571 00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:27,520 She was hitting us and all and fucking. 572 00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:30,760 She put someone, she put me in a cupboard and I was like, I'm not 573 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:34,240 having this. So I say I I wasn't as reserved 574 00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:35,560 as going on the having this. I was like. 575 00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:38,200 Did you get out of it? Did you get out of it same day 576 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,520 like? No, I was, I think it was in 577 00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:43,040 there for about a month P3. What? 578 00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:47,280 Yeah, I was in there for about a month of P3 and the wouldn't 579 00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:50,080 move me classes. I'm a man went right. 580 00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:53,920 We're moving on skill line, so. Was the teacher young? 581 00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:57,960 Nah, she was not her. Like, sorry, I'm not over that 582 00:29:57,960 --> 00:29:58,960 either. Like I'm not over. 583 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,360 Do you know what she's didn't I? No. 584 00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:03,680 Hopefully pushing up Daisy somewhere, but I don't know. 585 00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:08,040 She was a deck. And then years later I 586 00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:13,480 befriended the son of the principal of that school and I 587 00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:16,080 was talking to him. He was the principal not when I 588 00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:18,600 was there. He was the principal when I 589 00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:20,560 befriended a son when I was like 20 old. 590 00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:24,280 And I remember saying to him about her and she he was like, 591 00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:26,360 oh, she was like every year there was all those kids leaving 592 00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:28,920 her class and all. I'm like soccer maybe, but. 593 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:34,160 I had a teacher basically try and hit me bigger school like 594 00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:38,840 second form right? It was history class and I had 595 00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:42,040 forgotten my book or my file or whatever it was. 596 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:46,360 And he said, well, just sit there then and do whatever you 597 00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:49,160 want. No, he meant that sarcastically. 598 00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:54,360 I did not know that. I thought he meant sit there and 599 00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:57,880 do whatever you want. And I was like, I was like a 600 00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:00,960 messer, but not, not a disruption. 601 00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:04,680 I wasn't like, you know, a nightmare for teachers, like 602 00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:06,560 teachers like me. But they knew I couldn't 603 00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:10,240 concentrate. So I sat with like a like a 604 00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,840 wrestling magazine or something, right? 605 00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:16,520 Like he's, he's teaching us about fucking gerbils. 606 00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:19,680 And I'm just like reading an interview with fucking the 607 00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:23,200 Godfather, right? And and I'm sitting there doing 608 00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,200 something I would reading something that's not related to 609 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:28,040 the class. And he's walking up and down old 610 00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:30,640 school kind of teacher, and he takes the book or the file or 611 00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:34,040 whatever and he fucks it into a store room at the door where the 612 00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:35,480 classroom is. It's pretty aggressive. 613 00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:39,680 Like and I'm sitting there like, all right, and I know I never 614 00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:43,800 got intimidated by teachers even like the scary teacher, you're 615 00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:46,520 in no way going to scare because like, what are you going to do? 616 00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:49,720 I knew they can do anything, you know, like we had a date, we had 617 00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:53,760 a miles teacher. No teachers were cocks. 618 00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:58,120 If you shout full pelt in a kids face to try and scare the kid, 619 00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:01,920 we shouldn't be teaching. So if a teacher did that, if a 620 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:05,720 teacher lost it over something trivial, I'd be like, you look 621 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:07,200 so stupid. You're definitely this sort of 622 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,440 kid. You've matured early though, 623 00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:13,280 because most kids would just go. Yeah, no, I've never. 624 00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:16,240 Had that you've gone to the point of going, If you're raised 625 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:22,680 your voice, you've lost. Sitting with a bonnet on but but 626 00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:26,560 anyway, he throws it in there and then the end of the class he 627 00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:30,880 says get that at the end. So at the end of the class, say 628 00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:34,160 there's 20 kids in the room, I'm like the 3rd or 4th to get up. 629 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:38,400 I go into the store room and like, go to grab the book and I 630 00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:41,920 feel a hand on the back, on the scarf of my neck, pulling me 631 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:43,640 back. And I think it's someone in my 632 00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:45,880 class fucking about. You know, you're interesting. 633 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:47,920 At that age, you're palm fuller. Really. 634 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:50,040 Yeah. So it was a boy in my class. 635 00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:54,880 I thought it was, but it's going to be, anyone's going to be in. 636 00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:58,480 But she and elegance. But they just kept pulling me 637 00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:03,040 back and I hit a wall right and like my head hit the back of the 638 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:05,760 wall and I still thought it was someone fucking about it and it 639 00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:08,640 was the teacher and he grabbed me then by the scruff of the 640 00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:13,760 neck, but was very like he had me by the scruff of the neck and 641 00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:16,400 I think then he had his hat. Then he kept his hand like this 642 00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:18,920 and he was like if he was a fucking pussy like, but he kept 643 00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:22,440 the hand like this shaking and started shooting in my face and 644 00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,560 like aimed either a punch or a push at me that I like. 645 00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:30,840 I've I matrixed because I was doing a lot of like can't like 646 00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:32,520 couple commandments. I've done something. 647 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:35,280 I did that. He jazz handled him. 648 00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:40,280 Yeah, I got out of it and then and then he just stood there 649 00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:43,640 kind of almost like shaken and I went up to tell my like form 650 00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:46,480 teacher about it and he was like in no way surprised. 651 00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:48,480 The guy got put on like garden leaf. 652 00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:49,680 You know, they're like. Oh yeah. 653 00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:52,160 Sure, the might think he was leaving anyway, but it was it 654 00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:55,120 was my. But then that like I had no bad 655 00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:58,560 history with that teacher. Yeah, but I'd say it could be 656 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:00,200 like the straw that breaks the camel's back. 657 00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:02,840 Yeah, yeah, he could be having problems with like the worst kid 658 00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:04,000 in the school. Yeah, yeah. 659 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:05,000 And. You do something that's 660 00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:07,040 innocuous and they're like. Didn't lose it. 661 00:34:08,199 --> 00:34:12,120 I fucking I didn't really like a lot of school like to be far 662 00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:13,159 but. We're having trouble. 663 00:34:13,159 --> 00:34:18,239 Like like not, not really. I think there I think, you know, 664 00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:20,400 hip puberty probably and there was you. 665 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:22,719 Get in trouble for. That there, yeah, because they 666 00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:24,960 just developed so quickly, you know? 667 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:26,960 It's pretty you couldn't have got in touch with 668 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:30,199 manscapemanscape.com and used the code T with me for 20% off 669 00:34:30,199 --> 00:34:34,480 for free. Shipping, yeah, I think there 670 00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:36,639 was like a week. What age did you hear puberty 671 00:34:36,639 --> 00:34:39,080 at? What like second year like? 672 00:34:39,679 --> 00:34:41,560 Really. What is that like late? 673 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:43,880 I think it's, well, I think it's early. 674 00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:45,800 Like mid second year, what are you? 675 00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:48,560 I was like between 13 and 14. No, I was. 676 00:34:49,199 --> 00:34:51,199 Like 13 like. I think I'd have been like. 677 00:34:51,199 --> 00:34:54,199 Like my voice broke around then I remember my voice breaking and 678 00:34:54,199 --> 00:34:56,960 like in second year. See, here's the thing. 679 00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:59,160 Mine broke over like a gradual period. 680 00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:02,360 Some people just overnight came in like Barry White to school. 681 00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:04,520 I like. You came back in. 682 00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:07,040 You came back in after that first year summer. 683 00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:08,720 Yeah. And like, I'm standing there 684 00:35:08,720 --> 00:35:11,800 doing fucking boy soprano doing consider yourself in the middle 685 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:14,480 of Oliver like. But then, you know, we weren't 686 00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:15,760 even doing a skill show. It was just me. 687 00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:24,400 But I, I. I come back in a second year and 688 00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:26,000 all the new first years are coming in and I'm going. 689 00:35:26,240 --> 00:35:30,680 Go on city yourself, I hope. Yeah. 690 00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:33,720 So. OK, whatever we've got we share, 691 00:35:33,720 --> 00:35:36,120 but you don't like you don't. Accept them. 692 00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:39,760 It's Mccoy's, mate. No Casey's vaccine, no jerseys. 693 00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:44,200 I Yeah, mate. No, I, I What the fuck were we 694 00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:46,120 on about there? Well, I'm thinking about Oliver. 695 00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:48,000 Now when people came back from the first year. 696 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:49,360 Of summer, people would come back in. 697 00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:51,000 That was like, yeah, they're coming in like. 698 00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:54,880 I'd probably hit puberty like a year later than right. 699 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:57,640 OK, whatever averages I'm sure. Well, like I definitely, I 700 00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:01,200 remember my voice breaking in in second year just after the 701 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:03,760 shows. So like just after Halloween, 702 00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:06,840 like, because my voice held and I was worried about it cracking, 703 00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:09,160 you know, like, you don't want to be in the middle of singing. 704 00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:15,400 And I'd be like, but one of my mates, his voice took a long 705 00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:18,080 time to break and he was very nervous about it. 706 00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:20,640 And like, there was a couple of girls in our class, you know, 707 00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:24,640 like we would go into like different classes like our RE 708 00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:28,320 teacher or our English teacher. We'll just go who was reading 709 00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:30,640 last day? Yeah, You know, if you're 710 00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:32,560 reading something like class, who was reading last day? 711 00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:36,400 And they would always say whoever he was sitting said, do 712 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:38,760 you know what I mean? So if he was like, I mean, Keira 713 00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:40,880 last night, it's Martin's turn. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 714 00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:44,400 And then Marty be sitting there on yeah, fucking hit all these. 715 00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:46,880 And then when he read met, it was literally, he literally 716 00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:49,680 sounded like, you know, that, you know, the the fast food kid 717 00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:51,040 in Simpsons. Yeah, yeah. 718 00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:54,560 You know, I'm sorry, Sir. You know, I was like that, but I 719 00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:58,400 think I got lucky and like a lot of people in my class were 720 00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:00,800 exactly the same, so it wasn't. Plus I went to an all boy 721 00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:02,200 school. So you weren't worried, but you 722 00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:05,600 weren't embarrassed about that? I, I, Nah, there was plenty of 723 00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:08,960 room for embarrassment. Like when when it's mixed like 724 00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:12,560 it's, it's rare, but I, I definitely just, it was the 725 00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:15,400 thing you said about like you can speak your own truth, make 726 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:17,040 up a wee version of yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 727 00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:22,160 I fucked that whenever I, whenever I started in my primary 728 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:24,800 school that I ended up staying in from P3 to P7, right. 729 00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:27,280 Literally first day. So in the primary school I was 730 00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:30,960 in in Saint Lan's definitely like, I don't know if this is 731 00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:33,400 still a thing. I would doubt it is, but in my 732 00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:36,440 class there was a thing where if you wanted to answer a question, 733 00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:38,720 you put your hand up. Yeah, Right. 734 00:37:38,720 --> 00:37:42,320 And then when the teacher would say your name, you stood up and 735 00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:43,720 answered it and then stopped back there. 736 00:37:43,720 --> 00:37:44,800 No. Right. 737 00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:47,320 Yeah, that was too. Much right, Too much admin in 738 00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:47,840 that. Right. 739 00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:50,680 Well, this was this was the thing in your woman's class. 740 00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:52,960 So like, that's what we were doing. 741 00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:56,760 And we're in, I'm in the new class and it's this is Karen. 742 00:37:56,760 --> 00:37:59,400 And you know, everybody's fucking staring at me and I'm 743 00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:01,760 like. Yeah, you hated that? 744 00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:03,880 Yeah. This is Karen and I'm standing 745 00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:08,080 stage freeze like fucking Mr Mustafili's right and I. 746 00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:10,560 Pleasure to like you had you had. 747 00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:13,200 You were too like people. Coming in too many. 748 00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:15,280 Words. Purple, purple robe. 749 00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:18,920 My fucking Garland on the fucking head. 750 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,920 Pleasure to be amongst my peers here and I asking people 751 00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:23,320 individually how this. Is Karen. 752 00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:31,880 I'm sitting in grips and yes. Coming up, the gardener on. 753 00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:39,560 A fucking rare and there were so I went then and like met people 754 00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:43,440 and and then like, you know, we're doing whatever the first 755 00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:46,480 thing is and teacher asks a question. 756 00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:50,680 I was up, Karen and I stayed up and answered it and everyone 757 00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:53,680 laughed and I went, I'm fucked. Like that's it. 758 00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,520 I've just I've written myself off for the first year. 759 00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:58,320 Where did they laugh? Because like they didn't do 760 00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:00,400 that. Like I, I stood up, answered 761 00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:01,640 the. Questions at school before. 762 00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:03,120 Yeah, stood up and they're all gone. 763 00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:10,040 And and also the teacher in our school whenever we were in in St 764 00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:13,280 in Saint Anne's, when they were doing the role, you had to say 765 00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:15,160 present. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 766 00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:17,400 But but. In fucking St Coleman's they 767 00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:20,320 they were saying on Shaw, like in Arsh, right? 768 00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:23,840 And I was like, right, OK, so they're all going on Shaw and I 769 00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:25,880 didn't even know what the fuck they were saying, but I'm like, 770 00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:28,960 I I think I was like first or so I think I was second in the 771 00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:31,760 role. So first week or was like Ernie 772 00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:34,320 and began with A and then they go her. 773 00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:37,840 She was on Shaw Karen Bartlett and I'm like present and 774 00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:41,440 everybody's like I'm. Like you went to school with 775 00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:43,080 Penguin? Yeah, went to school with 776 00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,680 fucking Columbo's wife. She's. 777 00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:50,320 Always on the phone. Yeah, you, you never met her. 778 00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:52,320 She's only ever on the phone. Yeah, right, right. 779 00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:55,800 And fuck sake. And Columbo, like did you hear 780 00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:56,880 they're bringing back Quantum Leap? 781 00:39:57,240 --> 00:39:58,520 I don't know what quantum leap is. 782 00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:03,240 Quantum leap, like you know where like the guy travels back 783 00:40:03,240 --> 00:40:05,840 in time to put right what once went wrong. 784 00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:07,680 Like no. That's Mr Ben. 785 00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:10,160 No, no, you still not empty dress shop. 786 00:40:10,240 --> 00:40:11,400 I'm not. He was a baller. 787 00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:13,560 I can't. Do remember Mr Ben. 788 00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:15,680 Yeah. Sly that they call it. 789 00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:19,440 Like Mr Bing got all the headlines but Mr Ben, who 790 00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:21,760 started to take the knockoff version of Mr. Bean, but a 791 00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:23,240 totally different Mr Ben was. Good. 792 00:40:23,240 --> 00:40:25,360 Mr Ben was good. Mr. Bean was great. 793 00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:28,000 Wasn't Mr Ben the one where it would say and then as if by 794 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:32,280 magic, and then he would be in whatever, whatever the costume 795 00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:34,400 was, like if it was a space suit, he'd be an astronaut or 796 00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:35,480 whatever. Yeah, would you like to be an 797 00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:38,880 astronaut? No, I it seems really boring. 798 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:41,360 It doesn't seem. It seems like a lot of. 799 00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:42,480 Physical. I love that you'd. 800 00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:45,600 Seems like a lot of physical training to go and screw things 801 00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:47,320 in. I love that you'd be in outer 802 00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:50,280 space and they're looking at Earth and all and you're just 803 00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:52,920 there. No, but like, I mean like once 804 00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,400 you've seen that though, there's nothing else exciting because 805 00:40:55,400 --> 00:41:00,800 the the rest of it is go outside and change the screws on this 806 00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:03,960 hinge and if you fuck it up and there's a high chance I'd fuck 807 00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:06,440 that up. If you fuck it up, you die. 808 00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:09,920 I would you what if we doing is it doing IKEA with somebody 809 00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:12,200 holding a gun to your head and going if you fuck this up? 810 00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:14,920 Yeah, you know what I mean. Would you like to do the what if 811 00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:16,200 we could do the podcast in space? 812 00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:17,600 Because I've got a Tesla at the minute. 813 00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:20,600 So like Elon, what if Musk? Is that part of it you just 814 00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:22,200 fucking? I've signed a contract. 815 00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:24,560 We have to contractually. You hit the motor bypass at the 816 00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:26,000 right speed, you just keep going. 817 00:41:26,240 --> 00:41:29,280 You know, I don't know why I was given a Nazi salute on your 818 00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:35,200 fucking yeah. I don't know, mate. 819 00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:36,640 I would. You want to be in space? 820 00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:38,920 I don't think it's for me. Look, I mean, nobody's ever 821 00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:39,760 offered me. I wouldn't. 822 00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:43,280 Like to go now but when they sort it all out and it's easier 823 00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:46,960 and all, I'll go then. You know the way when a dog does 824 00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:50,520 a shit compared with a cat? Yeah, it's a lot. 825 00:41:51,240 --> 00:41:53,640 I've never seen a cat do shit. You've never seen a cat shit. 826 00:41:54,240 --> 00:41:56,120 I've seen a cat shit, but I've never seen a cat. 827 00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:58,920 Shit, I've never seen it happen to be fair, but that's what I 828 00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:00,240 mean I've seen. What it means, I mean, that's a 829 00:42:00,240 --> 00:42:01,920 tree falling in the woods. Yeah, yeah. 830 00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:05,160 You've seen cats shit. You've seen cats shit, but you 831 00:42:05,160 --> 00:42:07,360 haven't seen. You've seen cat shit, but you 832 00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:09,240 haven't seen cat shit. Yeah. 833 00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:11,320 Has anyone? I don't know. 834 00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:14,320 Somebody will have somebody's probably into it like, but the 835 00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:15,720 there's. A. 836 00:42:15,720 --> 00:42:17,600 But have you ever seen? Can I ask you something? 837 00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:23,200 You ever seen a cat's Dick? I've heard about cat's Dicks 838 00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:24,920 where they're. You haven't seen it? 839 00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:27,040 No, it's like a Christmas tree ship or something where it's 840 00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:31,360 like, it's like pointy isn't it? Apparently the deck scrubs the 841 00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:36,480 inside of the the cat vag. Yeah, Barb, that's the word. 842 00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:39,360 Barb. Barb Yeah. 843 00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:42,840 Barb Windsor. Barb Barbara Windsor. 844 00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:50,120 Yeah, Barbra Streisand, But the. Cats keep the decks in the 845 00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:52,080 inside. You know the way the. 846 00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:56,200 Cats keep their decks in the inside because if you left, if 847 00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:59,480 you turn the cat upside down, you said you said deck. 848 00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:01,560 I don't know. I've never turned a cat upside 849 00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:02,760 down. Don't like cats? 850 00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:05,560 I'm allergic to them. Yeah, they're sure we bastards. 851 00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:08,120 Also, there's no charm. Here's the thing. 852 00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:10,640 Don't do. A cat doesn't do. 853 00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:11,920 It I don't like this controversial. 854 00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:17,120 This super vet annoys me don't like him full of himself Noel 855 00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:22,080 someone Oh this guy you don't podcast Yeah, Noel Fitzpatrick, 856 00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:26,160 the Super vet the programme also that's a nickname. 857 00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:29,760 I guarantee he sort of started, or at least you have to be like, 858 00:43:30,240 --> 00:43:33,520 don't imagine people built Kieran Bartlett super comedian. 859 00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:35,920 You'd be like, well. You know, well, that sounds like 860 00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:40,440 you've started that, but. But like I I just I don't like 861 00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:42,680 the Super vet. Are you talking about me or hung 862 00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:43,720 Kieran Bartlett? Because. 863 00:43:44,720 --> 00:43:47,840 Big cock Kieran Bartlett Yeah, I don't like the Super vet. 864 00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:49,440 I know a lot of people like him, but I. 865 00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:52,240 Is he, isn't he the guy like, and he does like, like actually 866 00:43:52,240 --> 00:43:56,480 mad shit where it's like I'm going to repair this fucking 15 867 00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:59,960 year old dog's hip and you're like help people. 868 00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:01,640 Yeah, you know, that's controversial. 869 00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:03,120 I'm going to get Castle Flat but like he's. 870 00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:06,120 Like I'm going to do it with bamboo and a fucking VHS player, 871 00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,120 you know? I don't like I don't. 872 00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:09,640 It's all about him. I It should be about the wee 873 00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:11,440 animals. Yeah, seem to be far right. 874 00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:16,320 I wouldn't wish harm on on cats, but I don't like them like they 875 00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:18,120 harm me, right? Do you know what I mean? 876 00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:20,320 I I don't believe that cats have owners. 877 00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:22,400 They have slaves. Do you know what I mean? 878 00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:25,160 I don't like that I'm scared of dogs, but I do. 879 00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:27,440 But I do like dogs. Yeah, but this is what I was 880 00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:29,920 getting to. You know, I was saying when a 881 00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:34,000 dog does a shit, sometimes it's like like it's a mound of shit, 882 00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:37,440 right? But when a cat does one, it's 883 00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:39,520 just like a wee fucking, what would you even call it? 884 00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:41,600 A wee fucking bourbon biscuit with her on it, right. 885 00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:45,560 And I feel like if I went, I feel like if I went into space 886 00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:49,320 now all the other astronauts are always skinnies and we hard 887 00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:51,760 bodies, they'd be doing wee cats as shits. 888 00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,840 We all, all I've eaten for the last six months is like fucking, 889 00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:57,600 you know, rehydrated fucking potato mix or whatever. 890 00:44:57,600 --> 00:45:02,280 Yeah, I know that if I went there like I would be doing if I 891 00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:05,040 did one of my shits in space and went past the window, I'd get 892 00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:06,800 sucked. Yeah, do you know what I mean? 893 00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:10,160 Like that's what. I it would change the course of 894 00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:12,680 plus existence. To be far, I reckon if I was on 895 00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:15,960 the International Space Station, might be a problem for elements 896 00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:18,120 in Alley Town to do a fucking Chinese delivery. 897 00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:21,240 Like, yeah, they won't even go as far as Ballymachesh, so 898 00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:25,560 there's no way they're going in that outer atmosphere. 899 00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:28,800 Are you my fucking 4 miles to the right of Mars? 900 00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:33,160 Just, you know, Rand's belt. I'm fucking. 901 00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:39,720 I'm on the belt Boggle. I don't even understand space. 902 00:45:39,720 --> 00:45:41,720 Do you ever think about space? I do so ask me. 903 00:45:41,720 --> 00:45:43,520 Anything No. Would you ever like actually 904 00:45:43,520 --> 00:45:46,520 think about space and after about thinking about it, after 905 00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:50,960 thinking about it for about 6 minutes, you immediately go no, 906 00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:53,760 like it freaks me out it. Doesn't freak me out when you 907 00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:55,240 have a heavy understanding of it. 908 00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:58,840 Heavy, heavy understanding of a weightless success. 909 00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:00,560 Space is one of those things, man. 910 00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:04,720 There's a lot to it, I feel. Like I'm talking to Brian Cox 911 00:46:04,720 --> 00:46:09,520 right now, not the actor. He's brand mainstream, you know, 912 00:46:09,520 --> 00:46:11,800 but I would, yeah, I fucking would know a lot about. 913 00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:16,720 The actually what do you know? What do you want to? 914 00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:20,040 Know I want to know. I want right? 915 00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:24,160 So I want to know. We're the only planet that can 916 00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:26,120 have fire. The conditions are right for 917 00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:28,440 fire. It's not true in our solar 918 00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:30,760 system. What do you mean? 919 00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:32,800 Surely there's fire on marsh, no? 920 00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:36,200 You're going to confuse life on Mars, David boy. 921 00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:37,760 That's a great song. It is. 922 00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:41,560 Surely there's Surely you could set a fire on Mars. 923 00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:44,760 Why can't it? Is this trace signs like? 924 00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:46,480 Should they? Mike, can you look that up? 925 00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:50,320 That sounds very right. Because needle on the oxygen. 926 00:46:50,320 --> 00:46:52,640 There is oxygen on Mars, is there not? 927 00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:55,160 No, it's. Not the right levels. 928 00:46:55,560 --> 00:46:57,560 Sounds like BS but like please look up is there oxygen? 929 00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:01,760 It's a different kind of oxygen have. 930 00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:03,520 You ever been to Oxygen Festival? 931 00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:07,120 No, was never allowed. By the organisers. 932 00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:10,960 Yeah, yeah. That's that's what I call my mom 933 00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:14,920 dad as well. Allow me to get you. 934 00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:16,520 Do I go for a sleepover at my house? 935 00:47:16,680 --> 00:47:24,600 Let me check with the organisers, see if I if I when I 936 00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:27,560 was a kid and you were a kid, if I'd hosted you for a sleepover, 937 00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:30,080 there'd be a million caveats. I wouldn't have been allowed to 938 00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:31,240 go. Your parents would come the day 939 00:47:31,240 --> 00:47:36,000 before to do a site visit. I would not. 940 00:47:36,240 --> 00:47:38,440 But Jim would have shown up with a hard hat on the clipboard. 941 00:47:39,560 --> 00:47:41,200 Karen. Karen needs it to be the right 942 00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:43,000 temperature. Do you know what he actually 943 00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:46,040 amazingly what he used for his real job was a clipboard and a 944 00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:47,840 stopwatch. It would be amazing if he 945 00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:50,000 fucking showed up and was like, how long does it take you to 946 00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:51,280 make breakfast? These ferries on this. 947 00:47:52,680 --> 00:47:54,960 My Bartlett's getting you to replace appliances and all. 948 00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:57,720 She's like, that's not the brand Karen likes pancakes done on. 949 00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:00,520 It's a top point. Fuck off. 950 00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:03,200 I don't know mate. I I wouldn't have been allowed. 951 00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:04,360 I didn't. I didn't go on sleep. 952 00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:06,680 I was never allowed. My mom was like, we'll put a 953 00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:09,280 film on and you're like, why put it on when we can perform it? 954 00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:15,160 I did love a wee performance like yeah, I could. 955 00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:17,400 I could definitely like do a one man show. 956 00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:20,640 Sam Brides for Sam brothers. I could be all the brides and 957 00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:22,800 all the brothers. Yeah, 100. 958 00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:24,480 Percent What is Sam bride somebody Oh. 959 00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:28,040 Shane, you're hurt me here like it's a classic musical. 960 00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:32,360 Hard kill, you know, hard kale. He played. 961 00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:34,760 He's in Calamity Jane as well. He played Bill Hickok. 962 00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:37,520 You, you're like Top Trump's, always outdoing yourself with 963 00:48:37,520 --> 00:48:39,840 You mentioned someone on the podcast, I said I don't know who 964 00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:41,480 they are, and then you said their name more aggressively. 965 00:48:41,480 --> 00:48:42,120 No. But hard kale. 966 00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:45,120 Do you not know fucking Gregory? Simpson, famous singer with 967 00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:49,360 like, you know, a very rich, I believe, baritone voice. 968 00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:53,920 And then Jane Powell, I think she has like, the big soprano 969 00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:55,040 voice. She plays his wife. 970 00:48:55,320 --> 00:49:00,640 So basically he's like a scrummaging backwoodsman and he 971 00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:03,120 has like 6 brothers and they all live like. 972 00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:05,600 Backwoodsman Yeah, it's like a description of someone at the 973 00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:10,120 giant ring. So my uncle's a scrummaging 974 00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:17,200 backwardsman by night the. Taking the dog for a walk 975 00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:18,440 There's. Not that I will be. 976 00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:23,080 The dog just has fucking Vietnam eyes, you know what I mean? 977 00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:27,720 So there's like, yeah, so he has like 6 brothers and they're all 978 00:49:27,720 --> 00:49:29,800 living like like hogs in this farm. 979 00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:32,240 And he goes into town looking for a wife and he fucking 980 00:49:32,240 --> 00:49:36,480 convinces some woman the common common live with him like and 981 00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:41,280 this is like in in, you know, it's old timey like and. 90s. 982 00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:48,200 I and I'm 1790s and she she goes out and lives on, but then 983 00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:51,640 realises the way they're living fucking won't have it cleans the 984 00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:54,960 cleans the place up, cleans them up and then sends them out 985 00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:58,160 looking for women in the town and and the women like them. 986 00:49:58,240 --> 00:50:00,920 But the women are all got like suitors already. 987 00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:07,040 And then they kidnap these women and take them back to their farm 988 00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:10,200 and there's an avalanche. I mean, when you're saying this 989 00:50:10,480 --> 00:50:13,240 it it doesn't sound great. No, but it's a good show. 990 00:50:13,240 --> 00:50:14,760 It's good fun. And then they fall. 991 00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:17,560 All the women fall in love with them, but it it retells the 992 00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:20,360 story of the Sea of Iron women from play talks lives that's 993 00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:21,440 have you. Ever been skiing? 994 00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:25,240 You mentioned avalanche. You ever been skiing? 995 00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:27,720 No, I think I'd probably cause the fucking avalanche. 996 00:50:27,720 --> 00:50:29,160 No, I haven't. I think. 997 00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:32,320 I don't think it's for me. I don't like to be out of 998 00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:34,760 control in that sort of way, like, and I would definitely not 999 00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:36,200 have the control you said you're good at. 1000 00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:38,200 It though, oh look at me like you can tell. 1001 00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:40,680 I was scared. Just tell that be it, yeah. 1002 00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:45,480 I don't know if they do second skins in my size, but I no, it's 1003 00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:47,440 not for me. All I hate Anahang. 1004 00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:51,160 I really like. I really hate Anahang where the 1005 00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:55,840 where there's a culture around it that requires specific 1006 00:50:55,840 --> 00:51:00,240 clothes, perhaps even multiple, multiple types of clothes. 1007 00:51:00,240 --> 00:51:02,960 So like you're old skiing, you need that ski. 1008 00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:06,160 I'm out on the mountain shit and then you need I'm a wanker in 1009 00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:07,520 the ski lodge. What's called that? 1010 00:51:07,520 --> 00:51:10,440 Prey ski, my friend. Well, that exact that meet. 1011 00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:13,640 Me in the chalet. For a that's I would be like me 1012 00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:17,400 going come around to the house. You have to wear flounces when 1013 00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:20,200 we're eating. And then I prayed, you know? 1014 00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:23,720 You get yourself to know skiing. We went second year in school, 1015 00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:26,240 school ski trip, right? Why not? 1016 00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:31,960 And it was in France, it was outside Lyon and, and there was, 1017 00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:34,960 we were in second year, but there was people from all 1018 00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:37,040 different years in school. Like older fellows? 1019 00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:40,160 Yeah, yeah. And the older guys who say we 1020 00:51:40,160 --> 00:51:44,080 were second year, the fifth years bought a box of beer and 1021 00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:47,040 they were like, and the teachers definitely knew about it, but 1022 00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:48,560 they were like, look, we're probably not. 1023 00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:51,720 We're probably best not fucking kill themselves. 1024 00:51:51,720 --> 00:51:54,720 If the if they were trying to put out fires everywhere, yeah, 1025 00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:56,080 like let them have drinks in the room. 1026 00:51:56,080 --> 00:51:58,160 If it goes to another level, we'll sort it out. 1027 00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:03,000 The teacher's attitude anyway. Me and my wee mates in my year 1028 00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:04,760 weren't drinking, but one guy was. 1029 00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:06,440 And he's like putting the beers away. 1030 00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:09,200 He's going up to the older boys, gives another few, he's buying 1031 00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:12,120 beers off them and he's like just sinking beers. 1032 00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:15,160 And he's like fucking 11, right? And he's like as soon as we 1033 00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:18,800 finished skiing, he's on the beers and he gets like there's 1034 00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:21,520 Dumpy's, you know, he dumpy beers, they're those, right? 1035 00:52:22,040 --> 00:52:25,760 And and he gets fucking like blind drunk. 1036 00:52:25,920 --> 00:52:30,280 He gets blind drunk and we're all supposed to go out at like 1037 00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:33,920 8:00, the walk around the wee village, and we used to go get a 1038 00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:35,560 pizza and go bowling or something. 1039 00:52:36,160 --> 00:52:39,520 And he's like coming to join us. But the teachers are coming too. 1040 00:52:40,360 --> 00:52:43,000 And he's so drunk that the older boys are going, shit, if the 1041 00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:45,280 teachers see he's drunk, we'll get the blame. 1042 00:52:45,280 --> 00:52:47,760 It'll stop all the drinking. So they try and convince them 1043 00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:49,720 stay in the room. They're like, don't come out 1044 00:52:49,720 --> 00:52:51,120 tonight. Say you feel sick, you stay in 1045 00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:54,160 the room, get asleep. And he's like, no, I'm going, 1046 00:52:54,160 --> 00:52:55,680 we're going out. We're going out. 1047 00:52:55,680 --> 00:52:56,960 Woo. He's like, yeah, we're doing it. 1048 00:52:57,440 --> 00:53:01,520 And then there was like an Asian guy in fifth year of my school 1049 00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:03,920 and he goes, listen, he's a big guy. 1050 00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:05,760 He goes, you're not going anywhere. 1051 00:53:06,760 --> 00:53:08,320 And he's like a dead serious guy. 1052 00:53:08,600 --> 00:53:11,880 And my mate, my ear goes, no, he goes, we're going out. 1053 00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:16,280 And the guy goes, I'm going to have to neutralise him. 1054 00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:20,480 And we all went right. And there's like 20 people in 1055 00:53:20,480 --> 00:53:22,000 our room being like, what's he going to do? 1056 00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:26,840 And he goes, I'm going to put him down and put him to bed and 1057 00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:28,840 he went over to the guy where like, what the fuck's he going 1058 00:53:28,840 --> 00:53:30,720 to do? Some like ancient Asian like 1059 00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:33,520 thing like he's on the top on the shoulder and that like sent 1060 00:53:33,680 --> 00:53:35,600 some like nerve that controls your sleep. 1061 00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:39,920 He went up to just goes up to this fucking drunk 11 year old, 1062 00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:42,240 punches him in the gut as hard as he can. 1063 00:53:42,760 --> 00:53:45,600 And then like the guy like double S over and starts being 1064 00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:50,280 like ah and like and then the teachers, he thought he was 1065 00:53:50,280 --> 00:53:53,120 going to knock him out. But. 1066 00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:55,720 He punched him in the stomach as hard as he could and the guy was 1067 00:53:55,720 --> 00:54:00,480 just like as loud as he could. And the teachers came in and the 1068 00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:02,680 whole thing got busted. But I think it was so funny 1069 00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:04,160 where he's like going to neutralise it. 1070 00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:09,600 So much chaos. Same trip, same guy that was 1071 00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:12,560 drinking in our year was in my room, staying in my room. 1072 00:54:12,720 --> 00:54:17,480 There's four of us. And this is so like young kid 1073 00:54:17,480 --> 00:54:20,600 boy thing to do and it's so shit, right? 1074 00:54:20,600 --> 00:54:24,160 But at that age, you don't know, we were up on like the 15th 1075 00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:28,480 floor and we used and the village was down below us and we 1076 00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:32,520 would like throw celebrations out the window sweets, right? 1077 00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:34,920 So shit, so wasteful. Try and hit. 1078 00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:39,280 Hit West. Try and hit cars right? 1079 00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:42,600 Try and like you know. Yeah, hit cause accidents 1080 00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:44,200 people, no. One's trying to cause an 1081 00:54:44,200 --> 00:54:46,840 accident, but you're just. Like but if an accident happens, 1082 00:54:46,840 --> 00:54:49,160 you're all happy. But exactly so. 1083 00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:52,360 We're like throwing things out and then, but we're only 1084 00:54:52,360 --> 00:54:55,560 throwing wee tiny things. And then this guy who's the guy 1085 00:54:55,560 --> 00:55:00,160 that got punched gets like a muffin in plastic wrapping, you 1086 00:55:00,840 --> 00:55:02,280 know, like a wee log. Text muffin. 1087 00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:05,320 Quite, quite a large item, yeah. Substantial, right? 1088 00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:09,920 And it's quite hard and he opens a window and all peeking out to 1089 00:55:09,920 --> 00:55:12,040 see if we've hit any car or anything again. 1090 00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:15,200 Fucking so embarrassed by that. But like at the time we're like 1091 00:55:15,200 --> 00:55:16,920 a scrapon. No one's getting hurt. 1092 00:55:16,960 --> 00:55:21,520 So attitude, he takes this like fruit loaf and he doesn't just 1093 00:55:21,520 --> 00:55:24,120 like drop it out the window, he throws it down. 1094 00:55:25,080 --> 00:55:28,480 So he throws it down. We like, he moves away from the 1095 00:55:28,480 --> 00:55:30,040 window. We're like, oh shit. 1096 00:55:30,760 --> 00:55:35,280 We all peer out underneath us, about 15 stories down on the 1097 00:55:35,280 --> 00:55:39,800 hard snow, there is an old woman lying on her back with her dog 1098 00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:42,480 beside her barking. And then when someone looks out 1099 00:55:42,480 --> 00:55:47,120 again, there's about 10 people around her and about 5 people 1100 00:55:47,120 --> 00:55:49,320 said you've killed her, you've killed her. 1101 00:55:50,120 --> 00:55:53,920 And we sprinted out of the room, locked the room, went to some 1102 00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:57,080 like communal like pool room or something, started like playing 1103 00:55:57,080 --> 00:56:01,040 snooker and then waited. And we were like we are fucked. 1104 00:56:01,280 --> 00:56:04,840 And people from the hotel were running about the rooms trying 1105 00:56:04,840 --> 00:56:06,440 to work out exactly what happened. 1106 00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:12,200 And to this day now we heard that like someone saw or like 1107 00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:14,040 get up and they like helped her up or something. 1108 00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:16,960 But like that guy theoretically could have killed someone for 1109 00:56:16,960 --> 00:56:18,120 it. Loaf on a school ski trip. 1110 00:56:18,640 --> 00:56:22,320 Scorned her if you will that's why they pay me in the big box 1111 00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:27,080 but they they they don't pay me but the I went on a school trip 1112 00:56:27,080 --> 00:56:31,600 man, I went on a super tig school trip right like I mean, 1113 00:56:32,440 --> 00:56:34,960 you know we're going for the priesthood here type of school 1114 00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:37,320 trip right so you. Didn't go. 1115 00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:38,520 You went to the priesthood for trip. 1116 00:56:39,400 --> 00:56:42,320 No. SO our school was. 1117 00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:44,080 So I'm just making sure my Tesla was charging. 1118 00:56:44,840 --> 00:56:48,960 Oh my God, what a what an absolute wanker comment that is. 1119 00:56:48,960 --> 00:56:51,720 But I'm I want to tell you a story, but I want you to look 1120 00:56:51,720 --> 00:56:54,320 deep into my eyes. I'm sorry, I just have to make 1121 00:56:54,320 --> 00:56:56,120 sure it's charging because if it's not, I can't get, I can't 1122 00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:58,480 get home. I'm driving home in a real. 1123 00:56:58,480 --> 00:57:00,760 Car. But then I won't have the car. 1124 00:57:02,160 --> 00:57:03,720 Oh yeah, it's charging. I think we're all good. 1125 00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:05,800 Apologies. So no, it's OK. 1126 00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:11,280 I was probably great for the podcast, but the, the, the, so I 1127 00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:13,600 went the diocesan grammar school. 1128 00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:15,600 So there's four of these right in our diocese. 1129 00:57:15,600 --> 00:57:19,200 So there's us. There was Aquinas, Orland, 1130 00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:24,040 Instant Pots, Guarantor, and fuck what's the other one? 1131 00:57:24,440 --> 00:57:26,160 It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter to me. 1132 00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:31,120 Simulagous, right? So there's about 2530 kids from 1133 00:57:31,120 --> 00:57:33,400 each school, teachers from each school. 1134 00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:36,440 And we all went to Rome in year 2000. 1135 00:57:36,440 --> 00:57:40,520 And you know, the the new Millennium, the Pope was doing 1136 00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:42,480 plenary indulgence. You get the stroll through this 1137 00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:44,360 door, all your fucking sins are forgiven, right? 1138 00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:53,480 Whatever. And it was a big what, the first 1139 00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:54,760 year of the new Millennium, right? 1140 00:57:55,040 --> 00:57:57,640 So. You went in AD one bro, right? 1141 00:57:58,320 --> 00:58:03,280 So, yeah, so you get the IT was like a year of and I'll say year 1142 00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:05,560 of peace or something like that. It was like there was some name 1143 00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:09,200 for it, right? Probably something really rare. 1144 00:58:09,200 --> 00:58:13,600 And so anyway, we went. Now I was mainly going for that 1145 00:58:13,600 --> 00:58:15,400 pussy for that call. Yeah, I was going for that 1146 00:58:15,400 --> 00:58:18,560 Coliseum shit so. What do you call it? 1147 00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:20,800 Yeah, you got to go see. Daddy, some of that Coliseum. 1148 00:58:20,800 --> 00:58:22,480 Yeah, give me some of that arena pussy. 1149 00:58:22,480 --> 00:58:26,040 So do you know why it's called an arena? 1150 00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:27,000 This is good. This is good. 1151 00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:28,440 We bit of trivia. Enjoy us. 1152 00:58:28,680 --> 00:58:31,720 Arena is the Latin word for sound and that's what was on the 1153 00:58:31,720 --> 00:58:34,600 floor. So that's what anyway, so the 1154 00:58:34,600 --> 00:58:38,640 soak up the blood. So the it's good knowledge in 1155 00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:39,720 it. Yeah, it's good shit. 1156 00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:43,240 So I was going for that and you we got the one of the catacombs 1157 00:58:43,240 --> 00:58:45,400 and all and it was a fucking brilliant trip. 1158 00:58:45,840 --> 00:58:48,560 But one of the things that we did do as well went to see a 1159 00:58:48,560 --> 00:58:53,800 Lazio match, right load of fucking kids from Belfast, right 1160 00:58:53,960 --> 00:58:57,320 going into Lazio in the Olympic Stadium. 1161 00:58:57,320 --> 00:59:04,520 So what one kid is fucked up from like I think he was only in 1162 00:59:04,520 --> 00:59:06,640 first year. We went and there wasn't meant 1163 00:59:06,640 --> 00:59:09,360 to be any first years gone, but he got like, you know, like his 1164 00:59:09,360 --> 00:59:12,240 family, like pet like we're loading that away. 1165 00:59:12,240 --> 00:59:15,720 Additional, you know, skill was doing a brick fund at that time 1166 00:59:15,720 --> 00:59:17,400 to get a new skill and all that's right, whatever. 1167 00:59:17,400 --> 00:59:19,840 I think they bought like a stack of bricks. 1168 00:59:19,840 --> 00:59:25,080 So he got to go and he's he made his wee pube and they they he 1169 00:59:25,080 --> 00:59:27,560 lost his tickets. So we we got given our tickets 1170 00:59:27,560 --> 00:59:31,720 for the match on the buses that we travelled on to the game. 1171 00:59:32,240 --> 00:59:34,800 I'm between the boss, I'm walking in through a door as 1172 00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:36,480 deck had had lost his ticket, right. 1173 00:59:36,880 --> 00:59:40,080 And they bought one off like a ticket scalp right outside. 1174 00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:46,240 And I bought his ticket down was like, you know, like nowhere 1175 00:59:46,240 --> 00:59:49,400 near the rest of us. Yeah, So genuinely, as happened. 1176 00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:52,880 And one of the teachers was like, he's the youngest person 1177 00:59:52,880 --> 00:59:55,960 on a trip. We can't let him sort of sit on 1178 00:59:55,960 --> 00:59:59,160 his own. But weirdly, instead of one of 1179 00:59:59,160 --> 01:00:00,880 the teachers going, I'll do that. 1180 01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:05,200 I literally went I'll take it and they gave me a ticket and I 1181 01:00:05,280 --> 01:00:08,280 I watched the first half game in the middle of a load of fucking 1182 01:00:08,280 --> 01:00:10,440 ultras like. Yeah, because if anyone doesn't 1183 01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:13,000 know the Latio fans in Italy or like. 1184 01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:13,800 They're mental. They're. 1185 01:00:13,920 --> 01:00:18,000 Most mad fans, potentially some of the modest fans in. 1186 01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:21,040 World they were playing as Brescia and they fuck, they were 1187 01:00:21,040 --> 01:00:23,320 fucking flowers at each other. It was mental. 1188 01:00:23,320 --> 01:00:26,320 And then but there were still quite a lot of seats they can't 1189 01:00:26,320 --> 01:00:28,840 like. So I I just sort of went, I 1190 01:00:28,840 --> 01:00:32,600 watched the first half and went, what do you drink this 14 right. 1191 01:00:32,600 --> 01:00:34,800 Just went fuck us. I'm going to go back and just 1192 01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:37,400 sit with everybody else anyway. And we could have just done 1193 01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:41,440 that, but it was fucking crazy. And Ravinelli was playing for 1194 01:00:41,440 --> 01:00:44,000 Brescia and he scored and Varon scored for Lazio. 1195 01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:46,280 But yeah, good times. It's a good story. 1196 01:00:46,840 --> 01:00:49,000 Yeah, sorry. We stay on the convent as, as 1197 01:00:49,120 --> 01:00:52,880 I'm saying, mass everyday super ticks, right? 1198 01:00:53,440 --> 01:00:55,400 And there was, oh, there was a guy there. 1199 01:00:57,240 --> 01:01:02,000 He was from Saint Malachy's. He was 17 and already had that 1200 01:01:02,520 --> 01:01:06,680 I've been in the priesthood for 40 years mentality of like he 1201 01:01:06,680 --> 01:01:10,280 wore something not dissimilar to this grey. 1202 01:01:10,280 --> 01:01:12,240 Yeah, yeah. And standing like this and he 1203 01:01:12,240 --> 01:01:16,200 was like 17 ones back. Guys, I just want to say I'm 1204 01:01:16,200 --> 01:01:20,520 really enjoying being here with you and I'm going, will you fuck 1205 01:01:20,720 --> 01:01:24,800 up? And then the food in the 1206 01:01:24,800 --> 01:01:26,560 convent, mate? I mean, you're in Rome. 1207 01:01:26,800 --> 01:01:29,000 The food in Rome is fucking unreal. 1208 01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:32,040 Oh, I know, yeah. The food in the convent was 1209 01:01:32,200 --> 01:01:35,480 shit. And I mean, mate, there was 1210 01:01:35,480 --> 01:01:40,600 bread rolls that they were putting out and we we scooped 1211 01:01:40,600 --> 01:01:44,080 one of them out to see. What does that say? 1212 01:01:44,080 --> 01:01:45,800 He's. Telling me to plug your podcast. 1213 01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:48,680 All right, sorry. What can I just tell us? 1214 01:01:48,680 --> 01:01:51,640 First, we skipped one of these rules out because we knew they 1215 01:01:51,640 --> 01:01:53,480 were giving us the same rules meal after meal. 1216 01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:56,960 And we were in there like, you know, yeah, just same rules. 1217 01:01:57,440 --> 01:02:00,160 And so we skipped one of them out left there, and they served 1218 01:02:00,160 --> 01:02:03,800 it for a further four days. And then they gave us pizza one 1219 01:02:03,800 --> 01:02:04,920 night. This was meant to be a treat. 1220 01:02:04,920 --> 01:02:08,160 The nuns, the nuns have asked us to stay in for dinner tonight 1221 01:02:08,480 --> 01:02:09,760 and they're going to do us at dinner. 1222 01:02:11,080 --> 01:02:14,880 And it was pizza and it was the, what do you call it, the pan 1223 01:02:14,880 --> 01:02:19,920 right on the bottom of it was like as black as a fucking 1224 01:02:19,920 --> 01:02:21,720 shelf. Like it was disgusting. 1225 01:02:22,240 --> 01:02:25,400 It was burnt, the fog. Sorry, I'm not over it like, but 1226 01:02:25,400 --> 01:02:27,920 I mean, I had my first Panini when I was there. 1227 01:02:27,920 --> 01:02:31,240 It was fucking amazing. Saw a Colosseum for the first 1228 01:02:31,240 --> 01:02:32,560 time. Did you ever see when you drive 1229 01:02:32,560 --> 01:02:34,120 past the Colosseum for the first time? 1230 01:02:34,120 --> 01:02:37,320 Don't you just go what the fuck? Like it's mental. 1231 01:02:38,080 --> 01:02:39,520 I loved it. I thought Rome was cracking 1232 01:02:39,520 --> 01:02:41,520 silly. You have a podcast out? 1233 01:02:41,560 --> 01:02:43,160 It's called No Blasters. Blasters. 1234 01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:46,160 And it comes out where it will already have been out because 1235 01:02:46,160 --> 01:02:48,160 we're. Coming out, I don't. 1236 01:02:48,760 --> 01:02:50,200 Know where? We are is this Wednesday? 1237 01:02:50,200 --> 01:02:52,320 This is coming out yesterday, right? 1238 01:02:52,320 --> 01:02:53,760 OK. So a few episodes. 1239 01:02:53,760 --> 01:02:58,120 Who are the 1st 2 episodes? With Aaron Butler is episode 1 1240 01:02:58,120 --> 01:03:01,800 and Dave Elliott it's episode 2. Tell the people about it. 1241 01:03:01,920 --> 01:03:05,720 So no blasters, it's a comedy podcast with me hosting it. 1242 01:03:05,720 --> 01:03:09,360 And what we do is we get guests on and we'll play best of three 1243 01:03:09,360 --> 01:03:13,560 on FIFA22. And I mean who do you think's 1244 01:03:13,560 --> 01:03:16,360 one of them games like? And we'll have the Biscuit World 1245 01:03:16,360 --> 01:03:18,480 Cup and we'll do what's the Biscuit World Cup? 1246 01:03:18,480 --> 01:03:20,720 The Biscuit World Cup. It is what it sounds like mate. 1247 01:03:21,680 --> 01:03:27,840 I provide biscuits, we'll match them off and versus them. 1248 01:03:27,840 --> 01:03:32,520 So we'll try like you might try like an Oreo versus a custard 1249 01:03:32,520 --> 01:03:35,560 cream or something. And then we rate them out of 10 1250 01:03:35,560 --> 01:03:37,760 and then decide what 1 progresses to the next round. 1251 01:03:38,040 --> 01:03:40,800 Feel like round one's going to go on for a long fucking time. 1252 01:03:40,840 --> 01:03:43,200 Yeah. I mean, we've already had some 1253 01:03:43,200 --> 01:03:44,520 big headers on there first, yeah. 1254 01:03:44,520 --> 01:03:48,400 We lost like don't give anything away, we lost any big biscuit at 1255 01:03:48,400 --> 01:03:50,560 this early stage. I don't think Oreos. 1256 01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:52,640 Oreos are out. I'm not in the. 1257 01:03:52,720 --> 01:03:55,920 Oreos are good, but there's better biscuits out there. 1258 01:03:55,920 --> 01:03:58,880 Yeah, yeah. Oreo, Oreo Oreo is probably the 1259 01:03:58,880 --> 01:04:00,920 biggest biscuit that's out. You know what? 1260 01:04:00,920 --> 01:04:06,280 Oreo's a bit like Post Malone. Quite modern, sort of new. 1261 01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:08,160 I know they're not new, but you need a. 1262 01:04:08,160 --> 01:04:11,560 Fair teeth, yeah. Bad for your teeth and also like 1263 01:04:11,640 --> 01:04:15,200 like decent but. Like that's somebody. 1264 01:04:15,200 --> 01:04:16,600 Compare Post Malone with MO Time. 1265 01:04:16,680 --> 01:04:19,560 You know Marvin. Handed me, you know, Post Malone 1266 01:04:19,560 --> 01:04:21,960 with a glass of milk. I'll take it like but I would 1267 01:04:21,960 --> 01:04:25,120 rather have but a Custer. Cream is your Stevie Wonder. 1268 01:04:25,200 --> 01:04:26,400 Yeah, yeah. It's classic. 1269 01:04:26,400 --> 01:04:28,680 It's timeless. All the the ones the the ones 1270 01:04:28,680 --> 01:04:31,280 that I think are going to go far are like. 1271 01:04:31,680 --> 01:04:35,120 Should we be keeping an eye on? Tonic's caramel wafer, I think 1272 01:04:35,120 --> 01:04:36,720 that's going to go. I think that's going to go far. 1273 01:04:36,760 --> 01:04:38,120 Excellent show I. Think a cat? 1274 01:04:38,120 --> 01:04:42,080 Cat will go far although. MIT board? 1275 01:04:42,080 --> 01:04:46,240 I don't know. About Board chocolate Hob Bob. 1276 01:04:47,400 --> 01:04:49,880 Do you know what I really like? I can't eat them anymore. 1277 01:04:50,320 --> 01:04:52,880 Chocolate Digestive. The word is good. 1278 01:04:53,160 --> 01:04:55,800 We tried them that fuck. I think they're out as well. 1279 01:04:55,800 --> 01:04:58,600 I think you're doing it wrong. Keep them in the fridge. 1280 01:04:58,600 --> 01:04:59,640 No chocolate. That's right. 1281 01:04:59,840 --> 01:05:02,160 Keep them in the fridge. Chocolate digestive, right? 1282 01:05:02,560 --> 01:05:04,840 And then make like a wee sandwich out of them. 1283 01:05:04,960 --> 01:05:07,600 As in two. What do you what do you put them 1284 01:05:07,600 --> 01:05:10,040 together with? No nothing, just you're eating 2 1285 01:05:10,040 --> 01:05:13,440 biscuits at a time but the chocolates touching and you eat 1286 01:05:13,440 --> 01:05:16,200 it like a wee sandwich. Do you ever do you know what is 1287 01:05:16,200 --> 01:05:18,520 a good time? Do you ever make a jam biscuit 1288 01:05:18,520 --> 01:05:21,440 with just normal digesters? No. 1289 01:05:22,200 --> 01:05:24,480 Never put two digestives together with John. 1290 01:05:24,480 --> 01:05:25,560 Am I the only? No, I don't. 1291 01:05:25,560 --> 01:05:27,400 I don't like anyone who butters their biscuits. 1292 01:05:27,400 --> 01:05:29,040 Too. I think that's the work of CI, 1293 01:05:29,040 --> 01:05:30,440 wouldn't I? Don't mix butter. 1294 01:05:30,440 --> 01:05:32,480 With them, but I but there's people who and there might be 1295 01:05:32,480 --> 01:05:35,040 some people in this room who cut open an ice finger or coconut 1296 01:05:35,040 --> 01:05:36,680 finger and butter that. Stinking. 1297 01:05:37,520 --> 01:05:39,680 Devil worshipper. I that is so. 1298 01:05:39,680 --> 01:05:41,520 Bad. But anyway, so we'll have the 1299 01:05:41,520 --> 01:05:43,880 Biscuit World Cup and then we also have. 1300 01:05:44,360 --> 01:05:45,480 What day do the episodes come out? 1301 01:05:45,720 --> 01:05:47,000 Tuesdays. Tuesdays. 1302 01:05:47,800 --> 01:05:51,520 And we'll have a gift exchange, which is possibly my favourite 1303 01:05:51,520 --> 01:05:53,440 part. What's the best one you've got 1304 01:05:53,440 --> 01:05:55,560 because you've banked a load episode so far but so without 1305 01:05:55,560 --> 01:05:57,840 giving them? All has won the gift exchange so 1306 01:05:57,840 --> 01:05:59,600 far. Like because there were 1307 01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:02,120 extremely thoughtful personal gifts. 1308 01:06:02,720 --> 01:06:06,520 So like it's to be less than a fiver and they get one back. 1309 01:06:06,720 --> 01:06:11,280 I think I want to make you mad, but I think someone you give a 1310 01:06:11,280 --> 01:06:14,040 gift to did not take their gift home. 1311 01:06:14,520 --> 01:06:18,160 And it may be in our kitchen downstairs. 1312 01:06:18,440 --> 01:06:19,960 And it's not like they've forgotten it. 1313 01:06:19,960 --> 01:06:22,760 They've put it away to not take it home. 1314 01:06:23,520 --> 01:06:26,960 A Rakes of Iron Butler. I know what the gift is. 1315 01:06:26,960 --> 01:06:29,960 I don't know who the person is. Tell me, Holly. 1316 01:06:30,000 --> 01:06:30,960 No. Tell me what they get. 1317 01:06:30,960 --> 01:06:34,120 Tell me what? So we've had William. 1318 01:06:34,120 --> 01:06:37,040 Is it Dave? What did I get, Dave? 1319 01:06:37,040 --> 01:06:38,840 I got. Put it this way. 1320 01:06:38,840 --> 01:06:40,960 What do I get for David? There's a wemmer, put it this 1321 01:06:40,960 --> 01:06:44,680 way, if you if you go into our tea bag cupboard, there's tea 1322 01:06:44,680 --> 01:06:46,760 bags, there's Punjana, and there's Will Smith's 1323 01:06:46,760 --> 01:06:51,360 autobiography. Nobody wants that like. 1324 01:06:51,640 --> 01:06:53,120 It's a gift nobody wants. Yeah. 1325 01:06:53,240 --> 01:06:56,200 I'm sorry. Like Will Smith is one of the 1326 01:06:56,200 --> 01:06:59,800 most talented performers of the last few decades. 1327 01:06:59,800 --> 01:07:01,960 Like, the guy can fuck, can do it all. 1328 01:07:02,080 --> 01:07:04,960 Yeah, some of his music's incredible, brilliant actor, 1329 01:07:05,080 --> 01:07:09,080 funny, all that kind of stuff. And like, has probably LED, 1330 01:07:09,080 --> 01:07:11,240 like, quite a wildlife, like, done a lot of things. 1331 01:07:11,440 --> 01:07:14,840 But, well, nobody wants to read your book. 1332 01:07:14,840 --> 01:07:16,440 Yeah. And stop having that weird 1333 01:07:16,440 --> 01:07:17,960 beard. It's just down here do. 1334 01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:21,000 You know what I think? I think he's he's murdered his 1335 01:07:21,000 --> 01:07:24,360 own great profile in the last year and a half with all the 1336 01:07:24,600 --> 01:07:26,600 tech talk to me and me and my wife are weird. 1337 01:07:26,600 --> 01:07:30,880 So he, he, they're bringing the rebooted The Fresh Prince of Bel 1338 01:07:30,880 --> 01:07:34,280 Air, but it's like more, way more drama and it looks 1339 01:07:34,280 --> 01:07:35,920 incredible. I'm sick of reboots. 1340 01:07:35,920 --> 01:07:39,360 So although will say this and I this isn't the reboot because it 1341 01:07:39,360 --> 01:07:42,920 is. It's a it's a an offshoot of an 1342 01:07:42,920 --> 01:07:46,720 existing franchise. Cobra Kai is fucking awesome. 1343 01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:50,080 I I like it a lot. I I probably 2 series to catch 1344 01:07:50,080 --> 01:07:52,600 up on and watch two or three and I. 1345 01:07:52,600 --> 01:07:55,400 Like it, but I think it's cheesy. 1346 01:07:55,440 --> 01:07:56,640 Yeah. Oh, I love that. 1347 01:07:56,640 --> 01:07:57,760 It's just fun. It's fun. 1348 01:07:57,760 --> 01:07:59,440 It's great. Soundtracks good, all that kind 1349 01:07:59,440 --> 01:08:01,440 of thing. What do you what do you want to 1350 01:08:01,440 --> 01:08:02,760 like? What are your hopes for the 1351 01:08:02,760 --> 01:08:06,200 podcast like? Money. 1352 01:08:06,200 --> 01:08:11,520 No, I think I want people. I want guests to come on and 1353 01:08:11,520 --> 01:08:13,800 have a good time and it's a better crack. 1354 01:08:13,840 --> 01:08:18,560 Or like I want the I want to beat them on FIFA, but it 1355 01:08:18,560 --> 01:08:20,240 doesn't really matter. But it matters. 1356 01:08:20,279 --> 01:08:22,080 Well, do you know what I think a couple of thoughts here. 1357 01:08:22,279 --> 01:08:25,720 Number one, can you say unrelated to that, you've sold 1358 01:08:25,720 --> 01:08:28,760 like 3 nights in the Limelight, It's your stand up show. 1359 01:08:28,760 --> 01:08:33,800 Yeah, haven't taken a break from stand up and sometimes doing it 1360 01:08:33,800 --> 01:08:37,359 for a while and not doing it. So to sell out three shows. 1361 01:08:37,359 --> 01:08:39,240 That was amazing is. Brilliant. 1362 01:08:39,240 --> 01:08:41,479 So congratulations on that. Thanks for helping. 1363 01:08:41,720 --> 01:08:49,800 No, that's all I wanted. No, it's an amazing personal 1364 01:08:49,800 --> 01:08:50,800 achievement. Thank you. 1365 01:08:52,040 --> 01:08:55,760 Thank you Shane for helping me attain the amazing personal 1366 01:08:55,760 --> 01:09:00,000 achievement. Kingmaker No, what I will say is 1367 01:09:00,319 --> 01:09:03,200 I think down the line, nothing to think about now. 1368 01:09:03,560 --> 01:09:06,920 I think you could do a live version of no blasters with a 1369 01:09:06,920 --> 01:09:08,560 giant screen. I think that too and. 1370 01:09:08,560 --> 01:09:10,600 You're playing FIFA with mystery guests. 1371 01:09:10,600 --> 01:09:12,319 I think that too. I think that would be a fucking 1372 01:09:12,319 --> 01:09:13,720 gag. I think that would be epic. 1373 01:09:13,920 --> 01:09:17,880 And I think, I think that people, I think that it's good 1374 01:09:17,880 --> 01:09:21,880 that you can, if you're not in the FIFA, it's still like a 1375 01:09:21,880 --> 01:09:24,160 normal podcast where we're talking shit and slapping each 1376 01:09:24,160 --> 01:09:27,399 other and having a laugh. But then also there's moments of 1377 01:09:27,399 --> 01:09:29,080 high tension brought about by the game. 1378 01:09:29,080 --> 01:09:32,000 And if you're in the FIFA, you get to watch us play FIFA a bit 1379 01:09:32,000 --> 01:09:35,080 and then talk shit too. So it's sort of a bit of a, it's 1380 01:09:35,080 --> 01:09:37,160 just a wee bit of a crossover, a wee bit of something different 1381 01:09:37,160 --> 01:09:39,560 like because people are just used the same sort of, yeah, 1382 01:09:39,560 --> 01:09:41,040 talking shit so. And does it go? 1383 01:09:41,800 --> 01:09:44,600 Is it YouTube? As well yeah it'll be on YouTube 1384 01:09:44,600 --> 01:09:48,080 and we'll have all like new socials starting as well so look 1385 01:09:48,080 --> 01:09:51,560 out for Kieran Bartlett comedy on Instagram and tech talk I. 1386 01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:54,080 Think all the all the stuff. Yeah, Twitter. 1387 01:09:54,360 --> 01:09:56,360 You're, I'm already on Facebook. You just know. 1388 01:09:56,520 --> 01:09:57,560 I don't know if we're on Facebook. 1389 01:09:57,640 --> 01:10:00,600 We haven't decided so. It's one I probably wouldn't 1390 01:10:00,600 --> 01:10:03,120 start now, but if you had it, I would continue. 1391 01:10:03,240 --> 01:10:05,680 I hate Facebook. George Motto on Facebook, see 1392 01:10:05,680 --> 01:10:08,800 when you when Facebook like when you started to post videos on 1393 01:10:08,800 --> 01:10:11,880 it, like directly post videos on it which wasn't you used to post 1394 01:10:11,880 --> 01:10:13,000 a link to YouTube. Yeah, that's right. 1395 01:10:13,160 --> 01:10:14,480 But then. When you put the videos directly 1396 01:10:14,480 --> 01:10:17,040 on it at the start. I don't know anything about 1397 01:10:17,040 --> 01:10:20,680 algorithms. They didn't limit who saw. 1398 01:10:20,840 --> 01:10:23,160 Yeah, yeah. So your engagement on it and 1399 01:10:23,160 --> 01:10:24,840 your likes on it's all unreal. Yeah. 1400 01:10:25,360 --> 01:10:28,600 And now, and this is like people complain about this as if it's 1401 01:10:28,600 --> 01:10:30,040 like something to really complain about. 1402 01:10:30,080 --> 01:10:33,520 It's fucking not. But say I have like 100,000 1403 01:10:33,520 --> 01:10:35,120 people on Facebook and I put a video up. 1404 01:10:35,720 --> 01:10:38,200 The views on that are like 1000 sometimes. 1405 01:10:38,200 --> 01:10:40,120 Yeah. And that's nuts. 1406 01:10:40,520 --> 01:10:43,680 And like people are clearly enjoying it, but it just doesn't 1407 01:10:43,680 --> 01:10:46,080 get seen by people. So that's what's good about like 1408 01:10:46,440 --> 01:10:50,080 Instagram, Twitter especially because it's just a continuous 1409 01:10:50,080 --> 01:10:52,560 feat. And I I like tech talk. 1410 01:10:53,840 --> 01:10:57,840 I like the way things work on tech talk for putting stuff out, 1411 01:10:57,840 --> 01:11:00,240 but I wouldn't I couldn't sit and watch tech talk. 1412 01:11:00,360 --> 01:11:03,880 I don't really sit, never browsed on it, but I do think it 1413 01:11:03,880 --> 01:11:06,520 yeah, it's great for clips. Yeah, it's great. 1414 01:11:06,520 --> 01:11:08,720 Like. Yeah, Chloe watches it at, at 1415 01:11:08,720 --> 01:11:10,160 fucking MIT. I don't know. 1416 01:11:10,160 --> 01:11:14,040 It's just, it's, I mean, do you ever just feel like too old? 1417 01:11:14,040 --> 01:11:15,960 Like, Oh yeah, yeah. I feel too old. 1418 01:11:16,120 --> 01:11:18,240 Well, I always think I thought that would tech talk. 1419 01:11:18,320 --> 01:11:22,840 I was like, I can't master like new technology, a new app, yeah, 1420 01:11:22,840 --> 01:11:24,960 figure out what you have to do to post on it. 1421 01:11:26,080 --> 01:11:29,080 But but I do have to do that. Yeah, I do have to do that. 1422 01:11:29,080 --> 01:11:33,320 Because the second you don't, that's kind of the cut off for 1423 01:11:33,320 --> 01:11:36,360 your audience where you're like, OK, the people that are into me 1424 01:11:36,360 --> 01:11:38,080 now, that's it. Are you on mishmash? 1425 01:11:38,960 --> 01:11:41,640 Is that real? No, I I should make it though, 1426 01:11:41,680 --> 01:11:43,480 shouldn't? You said it and I was like Nope, 1427 01:11:43,480 --> 01:11:44,920 but as soon as you know, mishmash. 1428 01:11:44,920 --> 01:11:46,520 Shouldn't be a good app where you. 1429 01:11:46,520 --> 01:11:49,920 What are you doing, mishmash? You would take, well, you just 1430 01:11:49,920 --> 01:11:52,080 do what they do on tech talk, which is you take the audio from 1431 01:11:52,080 --> 01:11:53,880 one thing and the video from something else. 1432 01:11:54,480 --> 01:11:57,320 Then maybe like when smell O vision becomes the thing, you 1433 01:11:57,320 --> 01:11:59,320 can take the smell of something else and put it on. 1434 01:12:00,000 --> 01:12:03,600 You know, I, I think smell O vision is going to be huge when 1435 01:12:03,600 --> 01:12:04,880 it when it drops. Are you behind it? 1436 01:12:05,720 --> 01:12:08,520 It's me and Elon Musk. How do you think you got that 1437 01:12:08,520 --> 01:12:09,040 Tesla? How? 1438 01:12:10,040 --> 01:12:12,880 Do you think you got his name? That was quite funny. 1439 01:12:12,880 --> 01:12:18,040 But guys smell. Yeah, that was quite funny. 1440 01:12:18,040 --> 01:12:19,920 I enjoy the way you're like, it's quite funny. 1441 01:12:21,040 --> 01:12:23,800 So, yeah, no blasters out everywhere. 1442 01:12:23,800 --> 01:12:26,960 We'll link to it in this. It's it's it's in house. 1443 01:12:27,240 --> 01:12:30,720 You know, we're, we're, we're. 1L Studios yeah, yeah, it's been 1444 01:12:30,720 --> 01:12:32,160 good, though. It's been good making it work 1445 01:12:32,560 --> 01:12:34,040 We're. We cooking stuff up. 1446 01:12:34,200 --> 01:12:38,400 That's a wee bit. It's a wee bit sad that they 1447 01:12:38,400 --> 01:12:41,040 didn't take his gift. Dave's episode is. 1448 01:12:41,400 --> 01:12:45,080 I've heard to look out for for Dave's episode because I said 1449 01:12:45,080 --> 01:12:48,000 earlier some people apparently what I've heard, some people 1450 01:12:48,000 --> 01:12:51,960 will think he's doing a bit or playing a character but it turns 1451 01:12:51,960 --> 01:12:54,120 out he isn't. I thought he was for a time. 1452 01:12:54,640 --> 01:12:56,000 Oh no, he phoned me after. I wasn't. 1453 01:12:56,000 --> 01:12:57,440 Everybody phoned me after to tell me. 1454 01:12:58,040 --> 01:12:59,680 I think he wanted me. He's being serious, I think. 1455 01:12:59,720 --> 01:13:01,160 I think he wanted everyone in the room. 1456 01:13:01,240 --> 01:13:03,600 He nearly tried to fight Down and Mike when we did the 1457 01:13:03,640 --> 01:13:05,160 episode. Like the live episode? 1458 01:13:05,320 --> 01:13:06,760 The next day. The next day, yeah. 1459 01:13:07,200 --> 01:13:09,480 Like there was like, there was serious tension in the room. 1460 01:13:10,120 --> 01:13:12,080 He said the phrase multiple times. 1461 01:13:12,520 --> 01:13:16,480 I was set up. Like he's going down for like a 1462 01:13:16,480 --> 01:13:18,800 terrible crime. Yeah, I was set up. 1463 01:13:19,160 --> 01:13:22,800 Oh mate, he was, he was and he wasn't. 1464 01:13:22,800 --> 01:13:25,080 The fucking Xbox was being a Dick like it? 1465 01:13:25,080 --> 01:13:26,360 Happened. Can I tell you something? 1466 01:13:26,600 --> 01:13:28,440 He said. Like before it he goes. 1467 01:13:28,600 --> 01:13:30,480 I think he's probably going to be alright if FIFA, but I'll 1468 01:13:30,480 --> 01:13:33,320 stop him. See how it hurts me? 1469 01:13:33,520 --> 01:13:34,680 Well, do you know what we should do? 1470 01:13:34,680 --> 01:13:35,960 We should. And then he left the Will Smith 1471 01:13:35,960 --> 01:13:36,880 book. That's the ultimate. 1472 01:13:37,200 --> 01:13:39,280 That's the ultimate desk, like, you know what I mean? 1473 01:13:39,320 --> 01:13:41,240 At least bring it. There's a fucking charity book 1474 01:13:41,240 --> 01:13:43,040 shopper in the corner. He hates charity though. 1475 01:13:43,600 --> 01:13:45,040 Does he actually? Nearly as much as he hates 1476 01:13:45,040 --> 01:13:47,680 minorities, yeah. Yeah, well, that's Dave for you. 1477 01:13:47,680 --> 01:13:49,520 Like. Thank you very much for coming 1478 01:13:49,520 --> 01:13:50,600 on. Thanks for having me, it's been 1479 01:13:50,600 --> 01:13:52,800 great. If you haven't done yet and 1480 01:13:52,800 --> 01:13:55,120 you're on the Patreon, Patreon, the conference TV podcast, 1481 01:13:55,120 --> 01:13:57,240 you'll see the live episode we did in the Limelight. 1482 01:13:57,480 --> 01:13:59,400 I'll send you the link for that, because that is I haven't. 1483 01:13:59,600 --> 01:14:01,440 Seen that in ages dynamic. I haven't seen I. 1484 01:14:01,760 --> 01:14:03,400 Haven't seen it since we did it. I haven't seen it. 1485 01:14:04,040 --> 01:14:05,600 It's really good. You saw it at the time. 1486 01:14:09,520 --> 01:14:11,600 I'm so tired now. Do you know I fucking drove the 1487 01:14:11,600 --> 01:14:12,680 wrong way to get here this morning? 1488 01:14:12,680 --> 01:14:15,040 I know you're finished but I literally was on my way to 1489 01:14:15,040 --> 01:14:18,640 Glengormley and had to pull off at the Fort William turn around 1490 01:14:18,640 --> 01:14:20,520 because it was just fully on the wrong Rd. 1491 01:14:21,880 --> 01:14:24,400 What? What, Like if I'm gonna have to 1492 01:14:24,400 --> 01:14:27,000 give you a thing where I'm like, if you arrive on time, I'll give 1493 01:14:27,000 --> 01:14:29,280 you this and. It's here before you think, Oh 1494 01:14:29,360 --> 01:14:31,640 yeah, even with that diversion. That's why I've charged him a 1495 01:14:31,640 --> 01:14:34,680 test of the club, guys. Keep your feet in the ground, 1496 01:14:34,680 --> 01:14:36,480 guys. Thank you very much for 1497 01:14:36,480 --> 01:14:40,280 listening, for watching and jump on the Patreon if you want to. 1498 01:14:40,280 --> 01:14:42,320 We're going to get tattoos. You're going to get tattoo, your 1499 01:14:42,320 --> 01:14:45,080 mum's getting tattoo, all that kind of stuff on your wrist. 1500 01:14:45,120 --> 01:14:48,880 Yes, yes, separates. Thank you very much. 1501 01:14:48,880 --> 01:14:52,240 And there might by the time this comes out, be more Opera House 1502 01:14:52,240 --> 01:14:54,960 show news if there hasn't been, forget us said anything. 1503 01:14:55,200 --> 01:14:55,840 See you next time.