1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:04,280 Prime big deal days is coming October 8th and 9th, which can 2 00:00:04,280 --> 00:00:08,680 lead to involuntary deal squeals like the infamous deal on a new 3 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:13,920 massager squeal. Stay big on prime big deal days, 4 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:25,920 October 8th and 9th. Hot head zippers and sherbert 5 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:29,680 dippers, welcome to this episode of the With Me podcast. 6 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:31,400 With me, she and Todd let me just double. 7 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:33,480 Yeah, I think we're good. Let me do a sound check as 8 00:00:33,480 --> 00:00:38,640 Palmatini. So much more than I needed 9 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:44,360 before I got. Yeah, I think we're good to go. 10 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:48,040 I think we're good to go. What a time to be alive is for 11 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:50,760 solo episode. I've done since Pussy was a 12 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,880 kitten. You know, there hasn't been a 13 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:56,880 solo episode in a long time. But we're back. 14 00:00:57,040 --> 00:00:59,040 You know, three people said, man, you've got to get those 15 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:00,720 solo episodes back. So we've done it. 16 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:07,640 I've got a big mug of tea and I'm going to drink it, have tea, 17 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:09,960 will drink. What's been going on? 18 00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:12,200 Is it is it OK out there? Is it fine? 19 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:15,320 Is it, is it all right? I'm not too sure. 20 00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:17,960 But what I do know is TripAdvisor back. 21 00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:23,400 The TripAdvisor feature is back. One of you asked for it and I 22 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:27,000 have delivered like a consistent postman. 23 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:31,000 I have delivered. See, if I was a postman, there 24 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:36,320 is not a mission I would get through a day without 7075 25 00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:45,200 complaints more because my you know, what would you say my 26 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:48,960 illusion of being a postman is a bit like, you know, in movies 27 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:52,000 when you see in America kids that deliver newspapers just 28 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,000 from the bicycle. That's the only way I would be a 29 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,840 postman is if I could do that, you know, just throw it in 30 00:01:56,840 --> 00:02:00,960 people's gardens from from wee bike for Fairfox A postman. 31 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,200 Let's postman literally like go away. 32 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:06,200 And yeah, post women too. But I would still say post this 33 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:09,560 is this is horrendous, right? And we'll get 7000 offcom 34 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:11,600 complaints for this. Even though this is a podcast, 35 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:16,120 you can complain offcom. I would still call a female 36 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:20,720 postal worker a postman. And I don't know. 37 00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:22,200 I don't know if that's wrong. I don't know if. 38 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:25,960 I get if I got to go to gaol for that, but I'm just saying I 39 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:27,680 would still say oh she's a postman. 40 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:32,720 And is that I'm not either very sexist? 41 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:36,840 Or actually the complete opposite, because I'm taking the 42 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:39,240 post man title away from just man. 43 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,600 So I don't know which it is. It's either really good or 44 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:45,160 really bad. But yeah, I just don't think I 45 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:49,000 would have the skill, the IQ to be a postman because you're like 46 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:53,720 really multitask to be a pulse, a pulse to be to be. 47 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:56,760 A pulse man. You've got to be able to 48 00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:00,760 multitask, you know, you've got to be able to check the pulse of 49 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,200 multiple people at once and just make an educated. 50 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:08,240 Guess a pulse man. My I have I. 51 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:12,880 Have a rest impulsive 45 and not weird And I said this on the 52 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:15,320 podcast before I'm wait this isn't the start of episode, but 53 00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:18,800 we've said on the podcast before I got my I got like a health 54 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:23,400 check done around docs in Hollywood here right and I know 55 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:28,680 I know we've started this I started multiple tangents, but 56 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:32,440 sometimes in photos I get worried that I have a lazy eye 57 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:36,040 right and I'm looking at myself back on the the video that 58 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:37,440 recording. If you don't watch a video 59 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:42,080 version, it's on YouTube and I'm convinced I have a lazy eye, but 60 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:45,080 I think it's because or it's getting worse, but I think it's 61 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:49,360 because I'm looking at the camera and then I'm looking at 62 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:50,760 my face. I'm going to go between the two. 63 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:52,880 I think one eye is taking a bit longer to catch up. 64 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:55,960 So maybe and maybe I do have a lazy eye. 65 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:58,760 Maybe I just have a slightly slower eye compared to the. 66 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:02,040 Other one that's fast. Anyway, what the fuck am I 67 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:05,080 talking about? My point is, I don't think. 68 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:08,000 I'm smart enough to be a postman or postwoman or postal worker or 69 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:12,760 a pulse man because it would just. 70 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,520 It would like take two I. Don't know, they obviously have 71 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:15,640 a. System where they can deliver 72 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:17,519 mail efficiently and I just, I just don't know. 73 00:04:17,519 --> 00:04:20,360 I wouldn't be able to do it. I wouldn't be able to do it. 74 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:25,080 Same with being like an Amazon guy, you know unless someone's 75 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:28,920 front gate is open and you walk up to it, bang the door and hand 76 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:30,720 them the thing if it's anything different. 77 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:33,520 Than that I can't do it. If they're like, oh, you have to 78 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,760 go to this mailbox and check this, or you've got to leave it 79 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:38,320 around to say I'd always just get stuff in the wrong order. 80 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:43,840 And that is why. Comedy has to work, you know, 81 00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:47,880 that's why comedy has to work. A few people in the last few 82 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:51,880 weeks have been saying what's a crack with gigs, You know, is 83 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:57,200 he, is he one of Man United's best ever players know people 84 00:04:57,200 --> 00:05:01,520 have been saying what's a crack with stand up, You know, is this 85 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:03,600 show going to go ahead? Is that show going to go ahead? 86 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:08,880 We're no closer to knowing what the what the deal is. 87 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,960 But hold on. I'm just by the way, it's me 88 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,720 taking onto my hoodie just in case anybody listen. 89 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:16,440 Thought we're getting really sexy up in here. 90 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:22,160 No, Yeah, The I don't, I don't know what's happening with gigs. 91 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:27,520 But what I do know is I'm kind of hopeful that you know what, 92 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:29,160 I'm very optimistic at the minute. 93 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:32,440 The weather feels kind that like it's all right, like it's got a 94 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:34,920 wee bit warmer. I mean you can. 95 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:38,960 Wear a T-shirt after 3:00 PM. Not after 5, right, because 96 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,320 you'll literally catch your death, get hypothermia and die. 97 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:44,400 But what I'm saying is we're getting into the good weather. 98 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:48,880 I think there's going to be in the run up to the summer here 99 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:50,840 and in the summer I think we're going to have some outdoor 100 00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:55,160 shows, which is great. I've been working on an outdoor 101 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:59,560 tour schedule and we're going to do a load outdoor dates. 102 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:03,680 We'll do stand up. We'll bring some friends along 103 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:08,880 and we'll do like beer gardens and we'll do fields and we'll do 104 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:11,120 whatever. And what I really want to do is 105 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:16,600 do it in kind of like out of the way places, you know what I 106 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:18,240 mean? Like I'll do stand up in a barn. 107 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:21,120 I'll do stand up in a. If you're like a like a rich 108 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:24,320 chat, like the Sultan or Brunei's son or daughter and 109 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:27,440 you've got an unbelievable tree house, we can do a show in it. 110 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:33,600 I really do want to go to like islands and please sort of just 111 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:36,400 out of the way and just go and do stand up outside. 112 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,640 And I had a crazy idea, I don't know if I've mentioned it on a 113 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:41,720 podcast before, but about doing a podcast at the top of Sleeve 114 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:43,720 Donald. Or not a podcast. 115 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:47,280 Well, yeah, maybe. And doing some stand up at the 116 00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:49,960 top of Sleeve Donald. But doing a podcast at the top 117 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:53,880 of Sleeve Donald, I thought it was going to get murdered. 118 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:56,160 Yeah, doing a. Podcast at the top of sleeve 119 00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:57,760 Donald would be pretty class too. 120 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,040 And you would just, I would just give out what time was going to 121 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:03,480 be there. And then people can just bring 122 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:08,400 blankets and come and sit, you know, come and sit around the 123 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:09,800 podcast. And I don't know. 124 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:11,160 I don't. I don't know what we'll do. 125 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:13,960 I don't know if. That's even possible. 126 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,400 All I know is I'm not prepared to carry that much equipment, 127 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:20,320 but hopefully down would be. I could see down producer down 128 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:22,040 being a little bit of a mountain goat, you know, I could see him 129 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,920 getting up and down pretty easy. Thank you. 130 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:26,960 I don't really see him getting tired. 131 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:30,200 I think he's a guy that would have like a good bit of stamina 132 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,920 over. Shit Internet at the minute. 133 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,720 If you've been listening to the Breakfast Brewery episodes 134 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:38,720 you'll know that Don has moved to Lisburn and it's the vortex 135 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:40,840 of broadband apparently and he can't get online. 136 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:43,400 He's going through a really bad time with that, like. 137 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:48,720 He just he can't get broadband and it's really like if. 138 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:52,360 If you saw him this morning on the breakfast brew episode, his 139 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:55,040 hair, like his hair, embodies the problems he's having with 140 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,160 his broadband. Not good. 141 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:01,760 We do breakfast brew every, not every morning. 142 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:06,160 Basically we have a Patreon. Right, which is Patreon's, a 143 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:10,400 website where loads of podcasts use it, thousands, hundreds, 144 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:15,960 where you get extra content. You sign up for with ours and 145 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,160 you sort of pay whatever you want. 146 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:20,400 But if you pay £3 a month or more or whatever you want, you 147 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,480 get bonus episodes. You essentially with this, you 148 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:27,600 get a podcast Monday to Friday. What we do is a feature length 149 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:31,480 bonus episode on Monday just for people on Patreon, sometimes 150 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:34,000 with a guest, sometimes just me, usually with a guest. 151 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:37,559 Then Tuesday morning we do a morning episode of the podcast, 152 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:40,679 a little half hour episode. We got this on Wednesday. 153 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:43,039 We do the same on Thursday we do the breakfast brew. 154 00:08:43,039 --> 00:08:46,240 And then on Friday we do a live breakfast brew, which we've been 155 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:50,680 doing for months. And we are going to, we're going 156 00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:54,160 to start to do a stream Friday, probably a Friday afternoon 157 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:56,640 podcast. And that'll probably just be for 158 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,160 Patreon. So patreon.com/tea with me 159 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,360 podcast. It's in the description if you 160 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:05,600 want to join it. And part of the reason I don't 161 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:08,120 really plug the Patreon like too hard, like not really like I do, 162 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:11,960 but but not too hard is because I want to wait until we are able 163 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:15,880 to put out content that looks and sounds as good as we want it 164 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:17,320 to. And because I've been doing it 165 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:20,400 from home, we haven't been able to get into the studio because 166 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:23,680 the studio, you can't open the windows basically in our studio 167 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:28,560 and it's like quite small. So I just, I don't think I'd be 168 00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:32,000 responsible to like be working there with other people bringing 169 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:35,560 guests in. So we have finally, I think, 170 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:39,880 fingers crossed, been able to get a new studio and we could be 171 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,560 in there next week. We're still sort of sorting it 172 00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:43,440 out. So fuck me if this all blows up 173 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:45,440 my face and then I'm like, no, that didn't work. 174 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:49,040 But I think we've got somewhere sorted in Hollywood, which is 175 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:51,200 just where we want to be, where I want to be. 176 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:53,880 You know, Hollywood, literally the pavements are so clean. 177 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:55,600 You could eat your, you could eat your dinner off it. 178 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:58,640 And there's free Wi-Fi and me, Rory Macro and Jimmy, Jimmy 179 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:02,200 Dorner from there. So it's a good place to be and 180 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,760 we want to stay in Hollywood basically. 181 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,080 So I think we've got a studio sorted. 182 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:11,560 Just funny, right? People are so sound right. 183 00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:14,840 Just in general people are so sound and so helpful. 184 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:18,880 And I put out like a tweet thing on Instagram as well on Facebook 185 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:21,760 saying we're looking for a new studio for the podcast. 186 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:24,720 If anybody knows anywhere Hollywood but also consider 187 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:29,000 Belfast get in touch and then the fuck this guy got in touch 188 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:31,640 so obviously just so sound like go out of his way to send me. 189 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:35,800 A message about this. And he's like, yeah, my dad like 190 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:38,120 coons very, very N down. Obviously. 191 00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:41,960 He's like, my father owns some business property and the guy 192 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:43,520 goes, we've just had somebody move out. 193 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:46,760 He goes, I think my dad was telling me someone's moving out, 194 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:52,440 like you could rent there. I like the location where he was 195 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:54,680 saying, So I said, mate, that sounds great. 196 00:10:54,680 --> 00:10:57,560 Like do you have any more info? And he's like, yeah, he goes, 197 00:10:57,560 --> 00:11:00,160 I'll get your e-mail and we'll try and arrange for you to go 198 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,040 down and look at it like, again, really good. 199 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:04,200 Like I don't think he lives here anymore. 200 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:08,200 Going so out of his way just to try and get me sorted just 201 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:12,760 because he's fucking dead on. And then, then he sent me the 202 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:16,480 square footage of it and we're looking for, I think. 203 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:21,960 What do we say like 5-6 hundred square foot or something like 204 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:25,040 big enough where we can be spaced out if we need to be, 205 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:29,800 have guests in, you know, have a desk for Mike and Dan and be 206 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:31,640 able to really have like a little studio. 207 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:33,360 And then we want some offices as well. 208 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:37,240 And and so say we want like 600 square foot. 209 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,240 The guy's like me. I actually don't know him and he 210 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:42,120 came back to me. He goes, yeah, I think it's 211 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:45,920 about 4000 square feet. And I was like, that is a vast 212 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:48,680 warehouse, you know what I mean? Like that is that's an indoor 213 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:51,640 football pitch. And we were laughing about and 214 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,520 the guys like, yes, probably far too big for what you want. 215 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:56,440 And then he told me what the, eh, what the rent was. 216 00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:58,600 And I was like, you know what, it's a little bit out of a 217 00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:02,680 budget. I mean, our monthly budget is 218 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,200 what it is. This place is going to be 30 219 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:05,960 grand. And I was like, that's probably 220 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:07,920 29 1/2 grand outside for a budget. 221 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:11,080 You know, it's a bit like in what does that show A place in 222 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:13,520 the sun where they show your property where you go? 223 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:17,680 You know, some family from Barnsley, it's all they're 224 00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:19,720 always from, like place in England you've never been to. 225 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:23,560 But some family from Barnsley go on A place in the sun and they 226 00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:26,480 go, yeah, we just want a better quality of life. 227 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,520 And there's always one kid that's fucking hard. 228 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:33,480 Like there's always one kid that's so gutted because the 229 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:35,600 family want to move because nondre popping off for them 230 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,040 where they live. But then one of their kids is 231 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:38,240 always like, no, I'm really popular. 232 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:39,720 It's good. I'd love to stay and live here. 233 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:41,640 I actually have friends and the dads. 234 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:44,400 Like, well I don't, well I don't, so we're moving mate. 235 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:48,400 And then they go to Australia and they get shown three 236 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,000 properties and the person hosting that goes, OK, here's 237 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,400 this one, it's well within your budget, you know, you could 238 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:56,240 definitely live here and it's a shit hole. 239 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:58,640 And then the second one, they show them, they go, this is 240 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:02,040 buying on your budget and it's a bit nicer, but you know, they're 241 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:03,960 still not pulling away. But, and then the person always 242 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,000 goes, come and see this one. And they look around and they're 243 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,320 like, this is, and this is all we've ever wanted in the house. 244 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:09,920 And they start crying. They're like, this is great. 245 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:12,360 And the produce and the presenter goes, you know, your 246 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:15,360 budget was 300,000. And they go, you're like, you're 247 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:18,600 not going to believe it, but this place is only 780,000. 248 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:20,480 And the family are. Like, why would you do this to 249 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:21,280 us? The kids are crying. 250 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:25,640 That's that show in a nutshell. And by the way, they never move. 251 00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:28,040 They never moved. I'm not sure. 252 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,040 They just want to get to Australia for a holiday. 253 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,680 They're like I, we're definitely going here, which is like 254 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:38,360 whenever my dad goes, he goes about 10 years ago, my dad goes 255 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,640 to fancy Tenerife. Me and my dad would have gone to 256 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,920 Tenerife most years. So I went, yeah, yeah, sounds 257 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:45,080 good. My dad goes, right. 258 00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:48,880 Here's the thing now, you never want your dad to start a 259 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:51,120 sentence with, right? You know, if you start sentence 260 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:54,240 with, right, here's the thing. Things aren't going to be 261 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,480 strictly legal, right? He goes. 262 00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:59,800 We're going to look at a timeshare thing. 263 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:03,120 Like to show you around this house and then you've got to go 264 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:06,920 to like a business meeting and he goes and I was like, why are 265 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:09,520 you buying a house in Tenerife? And he goes, no, that of course 266 00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:11,880 I'm not. But that they will fly you out 267 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,960 there and put you up just to come and see these houses. 268 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:18,760 So I went right, got there. My dad was like on the second 269 00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:20,520 day or whatever, he goes, right, we've got to go and look at this 270 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:21,840 house. I was like, no, I'm not going to 271 00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:24,720 see any house. And he goes, no, This is why 272 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,640 we're here. He's but please like come and 273 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:29,200 just see this house. I mean, how long is it going to 274 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,040 be? He goes, I don't know. 275 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,400 I think we'll be able to we'll be back here in about 6 or 7 276 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:34,320 hours. I went right, I'm going to catch 277 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:35,680 some rays. You enjoy yourself. 278 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:37,760 And then my dad had to just be shown around the house. 279 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:39,960 He was never going to buy and go to a business meeting. 280 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:42,280 And then I can't remember why he said he didn't want to buy a 281 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:43,920 house, but it was some mad excuse. 282 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:48,840 You know, my, you know, my dad was like, I would. 283 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:53,320 But then here's the thing, I can't because I've just this 284 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:56,920 morning found out that I've been scammed, you know, and the 285 00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:58,720 people were like, well, we can contact the police for you. 286 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:01,800 He's like, no, please don't. It's all fine. 287 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,880 You know, I remember, I remember thinking though, wouldn't be 288 00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:07,480 surprised if he's going to come back and he's gone. 289 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:10,960 But like she just bought 1. You know, he's like, oh, just 290 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:15,240 bought a 7,000,000 LB Tenerife filler BN that's on. 291 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:17,680 No, on that show, nobody ever moved away in a place in the 292 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:19,440 sun. They always go, yeah, we thought 293 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:20,880 about it. And then the voiceover goes. 294 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,880 Three months later, Chris Cassidy and the kids were back 295 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:28,520 in Bolton, one of the kids buzzing the other kids like I 296 00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:29,720 could have made some mates in Australia. 297 00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:34,240 Anyway, got a lot to talk about and get through before we do and 298 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:37,600 before we jump into TripAdvisor let. 299 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:40,520 Me plug our sponsor. Our sponsor is, of course, 300 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:43,360 manscaped. If you don't know what manscape 301 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:46,440 is or what they do, let's just say they are the number one in 302 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:49,080 below the belt men. 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You know, and if you. 309 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:15,280 If you'd said to me a couple of years ago, not only will this 310 00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:19,760 company exists where they have ball trimmers. 311 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:24,600 They have a ball cleanser, ball deodorant, ball wipes, and they 312 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:26,720 have this package called the Lawnmower 3 point. 313 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:29,160 This product called the Lawnmower 3 Point O, which is a 314 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:31,640 shaver for your balls that has an LED light in case you want to 315 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:33,200 do it in the dark. If you worked on a mine, if 316 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:36,120 you're one of those guys from Chile or whatever, not only do 317 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,200 they have that, but they would sponsor my podcast. 318 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,120 I would not. I would call you a fucking liar 319 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:43,520 and a weirdo. But it exists, the lawnmower. 320 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:47,800 3.0 I use it. Producer Dan uses it, Big Mike 321 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:49,920 uses it. Big Michael also uses the Weed 322 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:55,480 Whacker, which is for your The weed whacker sounds like a guy 323 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:56,920 who goes around beating up hippies. 324 00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:00,360 But it's not. It's a tremor for your ears and 325 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:01,840 nose hair. Big Mike uses it. 326 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,680 I don't need to because I'm not 87. 327 00:17:05,319 --> 00:17:08,200 But a lot of guys are getting that air, that air. 328 00:17:08,599 --> 00:17:11,319 That ear and nose hair, and it's not sweet to sort it out. 329 00:17:11,319 --> 00:17:13,079 Just go on Manscape. See what they do? 330 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:16,400 The Lawnmower 3.0 is class, they've got a travel kit as 331 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,480 well. So you know, if you travel for 332 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:21,800 work or you just think you're just stuck for a present to get 333 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:25,560 for, you know, some sort of man, go to manscape.com. 334 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:30,680 Musical Tea with me for 20% off and free shipping. manscape.com. 335 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,880 Take care of your family. Jewels, let me take a sip of tea 336 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:39,960 on that note. The oil tea. 337 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:40,920 You know what I mean? Like. 338 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,520 We're better than lockdown. For a year, sometimes you get 339 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:47,160 into things like banana bread and then you don't get into it 340 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:51,600 or you know, you get into some sort of exercise or some sort of 341 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:56,760 hobby, but CT closer than ever because some you pick up and 342 00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,120 drop these hobbies like banana bread. 343 00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:00,480 Why actually stop? Because I think whatever was in 344 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,280 it was bad for my wee tummy. It was making me go to the 345 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:03,640 toilet. And also, I don't have banana 346 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:04,760 bread anymore, but it was unreal. 347 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,360 But tea and may have never been tea with me tea and may have 348 00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:13,480 never been never been closer. See, in the new studio, here's 349 00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:16,320 what I want to do. I want to get a class backdrop. 350 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,320 We're going to get obviously chairs. 351 00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:21,000 Desks, all that. We're going to get maybe some 352 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:24,080 nice plants. A backdrop, my friend. 353 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:26,080 Tony's going to do some art for us. 354 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:30,640 It's going to look 10 out of 10. If we can get this sorted and 355 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:33,800 I'm so excited about it and everything just steps up a notch 356 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:38,040 because fair play to you guys for like watching and listening, 357 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:40,880 downloading the episodes, all that. 358 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:43,640 Like, I love that. But we've been doing it from the 359 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:46,640 house. So this is only like, what's the 360 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:50,240 best analogy here? What this is like is. 361 00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:54,600 I'm like a dancer who dances in a chair, you know, I'm sitting 362 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,320 in a chair, you know, not like, not a wheelchair. 363 00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:59,840 I'm sitting in a chair, just a regular chair. 364 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:01,840 But I'm dancing and I'm in a nightclub. 365 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:04,080 And you're watching me and you're going. 366 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,080 I like what you're doing there. You've got moves. 367 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:08,400 So yeah, I'm going to give you money. 368 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:11,040 I'm going to give you money that I like your dancing. 369 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,720 What I'm saying is. If you think this dancing is 370 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,640 good, wait. Until I'm on the feet AKA wait 371 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:19,720 till we're in the studio. It doesn't make sense. 372 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:22,280 So yeah, we've got a lot to talk about. 373 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:24,760 I will also want to talk about Lionel Judy, but I ain't seen 374 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:26,720 it. I haven't seen it because we 375 00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:30,480 just watched Your Honour with. Bryan Cranston Not with Bryan 376 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:32,360 Cranston. That'll be so sweet, wouldn't 377 00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:34,520 it? I'll be class. 378 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:37,400 Just watching Your Honour starring Bryan Cranston, but 379 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:40,760 with Bryan Cranston, because, you know, if you missed a bit or 380 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:44,560 you weren't sure on something, Bryan there also directed it so 381 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:47,480 he could talk you through it. And then you go, Bryan was your 382 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,320 class being Breaking Bad and all, bro. 383 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:52,760 And he's like, yeah, 100%. And I sent Brian Cranston name 384 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:56,360 an Instagram message last night after the show, after I finished 385 00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:58,680 the finale, Your honour, I said, Brian, come on the podcast and 386 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:00,080 we'll talk. About your Irish roots, because 387 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,680 I think he's from County Armagh and Brian Cranston has not yet 388 00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:04,600 got back to me and I don't think that's going to change. 389 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:07,480 But Brian, if you're watching, man, get in touch. 390 00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:11,920 If anyone knows Brian, get him onto the podcast that work. 391 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,240 Terry George, I want to get Terry George in the podcast. 392 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:18,080 You might remember directed Hotel Rwanda in the name of the 393 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:21,800 father, the boxer. Oscar winner. 394 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,880 I put it in Twitter. I was like, can we get did 395 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:26,080 anyone know him? Can I get him on? 396 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:29,200 And then someone came through some scene came through, some 397 00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:31,480 legend came through. Try that William Neeson. 398 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:33,200 That hasn't worked. So I'm not going to try with 399 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:34,760 Bryan Cronston until I get Liam Neeson. 400 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:38,800 But yeah, we'll talk about Lionel Judy next week because I 401 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:40,360 haven't seen it, but I'm going to watch it tonight. 402 00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:43,960 We'll catch some we'll catch some Ben Coppers. 403 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:48,320 I. Haven't even seen the reaction 404 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:52,920 from it but. It's so good and Adrian Dunbar 405 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:55,080 is so good and he's someone I'm going to try and get in the 406 00:20:55,080 --> 00:21:00,120 podcast as well. Yeah, yeah, let's. 407 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,480 Let's do TripAdvisor well. It's been a long time, got some 408 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:04,520 other? Stuff talked about, but let's 409 00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:08,240 just get to the meet, you know, because people used to love 410 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:11,280 this. What we do with this segment is 411 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:16,120 we go on TripAdvisor, we look at some local, local businesses. 412 00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:18,240 Not like we don't really do like family owned stuff, you know 413 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,360 what I mean? Because we look at bad reviews. 414 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,560 So we don't want to like lose anybody business. 415 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:26,560 That's not what it's about. It's about celebrating the fact 416 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,120 that some complete lunatics leave. 417 00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:32,640 Reviews for the stop of businesses but leave really bad 418 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:34,280 ones. So we're we're having a laugh at 419 00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:35,840 that as. Opposed to the business. 420 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:37,760 I should point that out. Basically the reason I'm doing 421 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,400 that is just in case Apple Green want to give me some corporate 422 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,440 video work at some point, in which case I would love to do 423 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:44,800 that. And I've always been a big fan 424 00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:49,320 of your fantastic top of the range facilities, including cost 425 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:52,040 of burger. King and the Bakewell. 426 00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:56,240 I'm just saying the Bakewell. I couldn't remember what it was 427 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,560 called, but I can see it in the. TripAdvisor page that I've 428 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:02,280 brought up here. Apple Green is one of those 429 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,840 places where on the way to Dublin Airport, you go into it 430 00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,160 and like if you were a kid, you'd be. 431 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:09,840 Bossing. You just think it's a garage, 432 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:11,600 and then you go, uh oh, there's a Burger King. 433 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:15,480 And they also sell like the weirdest compilation rack of 434 00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:18,240 CDs. You'll be like Irish country 435 00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:21,800 heroes the Wolf Tones and Maliki Kush Motown. 436 00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:24,800 That's in it. That's so nice, right? 437 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,640 That's such a nice reference that Maliki Kush would have a 438 00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:31,000 Motown album. And I hope he does, but I also 439 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:34,320 hope three or four people enjoy that, that imagery. 440 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:38,800 Shout it to my boy Maliki Kush. I think we could get him on the 441 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:40,360 podcast. I think it would be achievable. 442 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,800 So yeah, what we do is we look at some of the worst reviews. 443 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:47,440 But before we do that, why don't we look at some of the best 444 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:48,920 reviews for the Apple green in Dublin? 445 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:54,360 Because it's as funny to me that people would be buzzing about it 446 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:58,480 and also like, hate it. But some people just fucking pop 447 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:04,520 off for the Dublin Apple Green. Imagine like having. 448 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:06,960 Such a great experience at a service station. 449 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:11,960 What your dad would know all about by the way that you that 450 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:15,480 you get home or maybe not even like a lot of the like this site 451 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:19,000 tells you if you did it via mobile or not and I'd say the 452 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,520 people that did it via mobile just. 453 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:23,800 In their car at the time, this guy. 454 00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:26,880 No, sorry, Lorraine Mitchell headlines hers. 455 00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:28,600 Bakewell. That's the topic. 456 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,600 Visited here heading to Dublin for the day. 457 00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,400 Had a super breakfast in Bakewell. 458 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,960 Very. Clean staff, very friendly, 459 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,560 helpful, therefore recommend this the place to start your 460 00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:40,320 day, I mean in bed is the place to start your day and also. 461 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:42,280 It's weird to say. Clean staff. 462 00:23:45,360 --> 00:23:48,320 Lorraine's like, yeah, I smelt the armpits of every member of 463 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:51,080 the Bakewell staff and it was, if anything, refreshing. 464 00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:56,880 Clean staff Imagine me ringing a restaurant coming down for a 465 00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:58,920 meal with my wife on Friday night. 466 00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,800 Here. What do your staff smell like? 467 00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:05,400 Lemongrass. Great. 468 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:10,720 I'll see you at 7:00. Sean F writes Motorway Services, 469 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:12,760 so he's just letting you know what he's talking about here. 470 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,240 Good well run service station, good parking. 471 00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:19,240 He means to say. Very good restaurant facility, 472 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:20,280 he says. Weary. 473 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:23,160 Good restaurant facilities, which makes it sound like he's 474 00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:26,600 knackered reading this out. Overall service very good. 475 00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:27,800 Toilet facilities are clean well. 476 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:32,560 Maintained facilities are disabled friendly but glowing. 477 00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:37,600 Review great coffee served by a great. 478 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:42,320 Lady, I mean, I love that. Very grateful that she served us 479 00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:44,640 a coffee even. When the machine was often 480 00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:48,080 cleaned. Not. 481 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:51,840 Not all heroes were capes. I can have a coffee, please. 482 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,080 Well, the machine's off. Oh, OK. 483 00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:56,760 Thanks anyway. Wait. 484 00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:58,800 Don't you fucking? Go anywhere. 485 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:03,400 I'm going to make this better. Back instant. 486 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,480 Yeah, you should. I mean, I wouldn't give 487 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:07,600 somewhere a good review. If I went to a coffee shop and I 488 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,000 was like, can I have a coffee? And now machine's off. 489 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:12,200 I'll do you 2 spoonfuls in South Cafe here. 490 00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:18,600 People loving chopsticks as well. 491 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:21,400 Love to see that. Right now, let's delve into what 492 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:24,800 we're here for, which is the terrible reviews. 493 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:28,720 So would say that the excellent, very good and average reviews 494 00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:31,680 outweigh the bad ones. So that tells you we're dealing 495 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:33,080 with a good service station here. 496 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:39,360 And people are giving off about the toilets being dirty. 497 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:46,840 Now I'll say this, I'm a very. Would you say like not clean 498 00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:48,320 guy? Because like I think we're all 499 00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:52,200 clean, but like I like I like good hygiene. 500 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:56,240 I've places that look. Nice smell, nice, all that kind 501 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:59,280 of thing I like. A bit of premium luxury, that's 502 00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:03,640 what I like. So when I go into toilets, yes, 503 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:09,680 I also hate it if like the place doesn't smell good, it's dirty 504 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:11,960 and all that. Like nobody likes that, but in a 505 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:15,080 way. I'm not surprised because we are 506 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:19,960 also at toilets that are open to the public and I don't know why 507 00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:22,320 people criticise staff for this because it's like they can't 508 00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:25,280 just stand there the whole time and clean as they go. 509 00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:28,800 So it's not the problem of the venue, it's the fault of some 510 00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:34,920 dirty bastards, Commons says. I don't know if it's. 511 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:38,920 Dominic Or stopped off this morning to get a coffee and use 512 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,240 the toilet facilities at the Apple Green service station on 513 00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:45,440 the M7 of Birdhill, Limerick. Now, he says he stopped off for 514 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,800 a coffee and used the toilet. And he just need to stop to use 515 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:50,200 the toilet. The toilets were. 516 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:52,280 Filthy and disgusting as you can see in the photos. 517 00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,000 These facilities should be cleaned more often. 518 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:56,680 You would, you would even more often. 519 00:26:56,720 --> 00:27:01,200 You would think even with the pandemic we're in now comments. 520 00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:04,400 I get your point right? And the toilets don't look good. 521 00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:06,840 And there's a little bit of shit on the seat. 522 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:08,800 There OK and I don't even know how it's possible. 523 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:14,920 But what I will say is. Their toilets, you know, and 524 00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:21,200 it's like that old, like Granny used to say, don't go to toilets 525 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:22,960 if you don't want to see a wee bit of shit. 526 00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:24,760 She never. Said that, but. 527 00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:28,200 You know what I mean? I hear these dirt like you're 528 00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:29,960 even weirder taking photos of it. 529 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:35,240 Alfred says I complained 4 weeks ago about the 24 hour toilet at 530 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:37,560 Lisburn eastbound services. Visit again today. 531 00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:42,000 Nothing's been done about it. I mean if it is the same mess 532 00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:47,000 then that is bad. No toilet seat lock on the door 533 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:48,760 is busted. I mean, sometimes that makes it 534 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,120 more fun. You know when you're going to 535 00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:52,560 the toilet and you have to hold the door? 536 00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:56,440 Never any soap in the dispenser or any hand sanitizer. 537 00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:00,200 I would have thought this would have been a number one priority. 538 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:05,440 If that's a pun, yes I love it. Can't understand why they put a 539 00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:08,200 change on using these toilets so it could get. 540 00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:12,480 Stop taking photos like we get it. 541 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:21,200 IXJCX says Burger King is terrible in capitals. 542 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,200 Last time I'm eating at Burger King I ordered a bacon double 543 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,600 cheeseburger. Worst burger I've ever had in 544 00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:29,360 capitals. The bacon looked boiled stringy, 545 00:28:29,360 --> 00:28:31,720 not crispy at all. They slapped on cheese last 546 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:33,120 minute. Still called FFS. 547 00:28:33,120 --> 00:28:35,400 Which means, for fuck's sake. Don't even get me started in the 548 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,680 Oreo milkshake I was hoping. KFC crush them standard and 549 00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:42,880 satisfying my needs but Nah, it was the deadliest thing ever. 550 00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:46,400 The milkshake was unsuckable, barely any Oreo bits in it. 551 00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:48,120 Should have bought an Oreo packet, the carton of milk 552 00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:49,960 instead. My local chippy does a better 553 00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:51,240 job. Expect the better from a well 554 00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,120 known global fast food chain. Never again. 555 00:28:53,480 --> 00:29:00,600 JC you're weird. You're a weird guy like. 556 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:03,440 Burger King is what Burger King is. 557 00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:07,560 It's fast food. What are you? 558 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:11,600 OK, the bacon in the burger wasn't crispy. 559 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:13,800 It's Burger King. It's fast food. 560 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,000 They slapped in the cheese at the last minute. 561 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,080 I'd have been better getting the packet of Oreos in a carton of 562 00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,080 milk. Yeah, that does sound better. 563 00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:27,480 That sounds class. The milkshake was unsuckable. 564 00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:31,320 Imagine just being an adult and then, like, say you're married 565 00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,320 and your wife, your wife said, can you help me in with the 566 00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:34,360 shop? And you go, I can't. 567 00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:36,840 Why? I've got to go write something 568 00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:37,520 here. What are you writing? 569 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,560 I've got to go and write that. The milkshake was unsuckable, 570 00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:42,760 just to let people know. Unsuckable. 571 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:46,400 That's what we're calling this episode. 572 00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:48,520 And I hope I don't type that in because I'm typing that into. 573 00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:52,200 Google just so it's. Open in another tab and I hope 574 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:54,080 it doesn't bring me up, just really bad cocks. 575 00:29:57,160 --> 00:30:04,840 Unsuckable. Unsuckable funny shores were 576 00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:07,680 unfit for humans. One fit for dogs, let alone 577 00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:10,000 humans wouldn't be tolerated anywhere in Europe. 578 00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:12,320 No ventilation, bad drainage. Something would need to be done 579 00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:16,440 about this. OK if it's for work, like if 580 00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:20,440 it's a necessity I get it. But don't charter service 581 00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:24,000 station. Don't char at a service station 582 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,360 unless you like. If you're a lorry driver long 583 00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:29,240 haul doing all that like 100%, I get it, that's literally what 584 00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:32,760 you have to do, but like. Don't just be. 585 00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:34,320 Calling in for a coffee in a shower. 586 00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:39,840 I'm going to the service station here to buy a Ronan Keaton 587 00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:43,720 acoustic album where he covers the best ballads of Elvis 588 00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:46,520 Presley. I'm going to get Acosta made 589 00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:50,320 instant, I'm going to get a Burger King with boiled bacon, 590 00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:52,400 and then I'm just going to nip in for a shower. 591 00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:00,960 Terrible breakfast staff arguing with each other while there was 592 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,400 a busy line of food. The food was cold and probably 593 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:10,800 reused. OK, this is a great this is a 594 00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,720 great heading. Let the gentle waft of steel 595 00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:16,440 urine complement The Dirty tables, lacklustre service and 596 00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:21,080 questionable food. This person is from Kent and 597 00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:24,200 they seem. Like a bit of a Kent. 598 00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:29,560 I had the pleasure in inverted columnist passive aggressive of 599 00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:32,240 stopping at these services recently and things have not 600 00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:34,200 improved. Firstly, word of advice, if you 601 00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,480 must eat there, do so before using the toilets. 602 00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:41,480 The place is continually dirty food dried into a crust adorned 603 00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:44,200 the table tops and most tables along with congealing fat found 604 00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,160 inside various past food dinners. 605 00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:52,960 Apple Green know they have a captive audience who don't 606 00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:54,440 bother with things like cleanliness. 607 00:31:54,440 --> 00:32:05,230 What they do avoid. OK right here, here's one that 608 00:32:05,230 --> 00:32:07,830 is like a moral dilemma thing and let's see where you land on 609 00:32:07,830 --> 00:32:13,950 this prime one. Only strange name says one star. 610 00:32:14,470 --> 00:32:17,150 I recently visited Apple green to fuel my motorbike, although 611 00:32:17,150 --> 00:32:20,110 they put an R instead of an EI. Recently visited Apple green to 612 00:32:20,110 --> 00:32:23,670 fuel my motorbiker. However, my payment have been 613 00:32:23,670 --> 00:32:26,950 declined, so I offered to return within an hour to pay. 614 00:32:27,470 --> 00:32:32,760 No, while that is the right thing to do and probably an easy 615 00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:37,800 mistake to make, there is like a policy on this at the garage. 616 00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:40,320 And also it's not like a local garage where they just get to 617 00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:43,000 know you and you're like, listen, sorry, you know me, I'm 618 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,600 in here every week. Unless it's me, in which case I 619 00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:50,360 go, you know me. BBC Three of lockdown and they 620 00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:51,680 go, we don't, we've never seen it. 621 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:56,960 We listen to cool FM. You know, the apple green is 622 00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:59,440 different, You know, I mean, it's not like in the middle of a 623 00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:02,640 time, the chance you're coming back or remote, it's not easy to 624 00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,800 get to. The manager of the site asked me 625 00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:07,720 to leave my motorbike as collateral. 626 00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:11,000 I mean, I don't know how much the fuel was, but like that's 627 00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:12,840 not collateral. You know what I mean? 628 00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:18,320 Listen, that 40 year a €40 petrol here, right? 629 00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:21,200 Well, you may leave the bike in case you don't go back when I 630 00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,320 refuse to demand that I leave my mobile phone. 631 00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:28,280 That OK, It's more of a fair kind of trade, he goes. 632 00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:30,400 Obviously this is a ridiculous measure. 633 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,960 So I complained to the head office of Apple Green. 634 00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:36,840 I received a correspondence from Mark Townsend, a director of the 635 00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:39,280 company, who simply offered me 10 lbs is goodwill gesture. 636 00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:41,400 There was no sincere apology from Apple Green. 637 00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:43,640 Terrible company. You're in the wrong. 638 00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:45,880 You're in the wrong. Prime one only. 639 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:51,080 I am prime one only. Prime one only. 640 00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:53,400 Destroy Apple Green. You're in the wrong. 641 00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:56,600 Because yeah, they shouldn't ask you to leave your motorbike. 642 00:33:58,200 --> 00:33:59,920 Because you would have needed to go and get something like 643 00:33:59,920 --> 00:34:01,480 another card or some sort of payment. 644 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:04,720 But to leave your mobile phone? Yeah, leave something you're not 645 00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:07,600 unless they know you're not known as Prime One only isn't 646 00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:10,320 universally known as the most trustworthy person on planet 647 00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:11,600 Earth. It'd be different if Davey 648 00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:14,480 Attenborough walked in the fuel up his Rover car. 649 00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:17,400 I went, I'm sorry, I've forgotten. 650 00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:22,800 My God, was that a good album? Part of me thinks it was, like, 651 00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:25,239 quite good. You know you'd go, Davey. 652 00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:29,840 Don't worry about it mate, go home and get your card and he 653 00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:35,840 comes home and goes. I'll turn home to get my God. 654 00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:40,360 It wasn't good second time. Second time it wasn't good. 655 00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:43,679 My impression of David Attenborough. 656 00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:47,880 It was good first time, right? But what I'm saying is they 657 00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:51,320 don't know you from Adam, They don't know you from Adam. 658 00:34:51,639 --> 00:34:55,400 So to say leave your mobile phone there is probably fucking 659 00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,640 fair. What's the deal? 660 00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:00,240 It's not like infringement. Your human rights leave 661 00:35:00,240 --> 00:35:02,680 something of that. That makes so much sense. 662 00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:07,120 You have taken, without meaning to, something of value. 663 00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:11,880 So give us something of equivalent value until you pay 664 00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:15,440 us the real price. It makes total sense. 665 00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:18,480 Imagine writing a letter to the head office of Apple Green. 666 00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:22,400 I don't leave my mobile phone because I fucking balls up and 667 00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:25,760 made a mistake. Mark Townsend straight back. 668 00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:27,040 Mark goes. No worries mate. 669 00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:32,080 Here's a tenor who doesn't love like tenors, A cheeky amount of 670 00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:33,920 money to get. Who do we take out? 671 00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:39,160 We tenor Mark Townsend is like a legend giving you a tenor twat. 672 00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:42,840 You know Mark Townsend. I like Mark Townsend. 673 00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:48,640 What we maybe do one more. Now do you know what? 674 00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:51,680 I'll tell you a story about Apple cream and petrol. 675 00:35:52,600 --> 00:36:00,000 I was flying to Lai was flying to LA back in times where you 676 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,560 were allowed to travel and go to places that weren't just your 677 00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:05,600 house. And I stopped on the way down 678 00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:08,120 to. I was driving my grey Passat at 679 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,040 the time, which people just got to know it was. 680 00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:11,760 It starred in many videos with me. 681 00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:15,440 But my car was kind of like falling apart a wee tiny bit, 682 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:17,080 like it wasn't in the best of shape. 683 00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:22,360 I'm someone who I'll just drive. Cars until you just can't drive 684 00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:25,280 many more now I'll just. Like not want to spend that 685 00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:26,800 money. I'm not a car guy. 686 00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:31,920 Is the car like the he didn't work as a as a seat company then 687 00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:35,400 OK, I'll drive it. So I driving on Dublin airport, 688 00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:42,160 I stopped at the Dundalk Apple Green and I I don't like I'm but 689 00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:44,080 I'm a hard man, right? So I don't really. 690 00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:47,440 Leave it. I don't leave a lot of time to 691 00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:49,960 be in the airport. I like to get there. 692 00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:56,440 Get a, get a magazine, 30 Mile. I have to get there, get a porn 693 00:36:56,440 --> 00:37:00,560 mag and get imagine, imagine you were standing beside me waiting 694 00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:04,480 to board a plane and I had a magazine tucked under my arm and 695 00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:06,800 a Starbucks. And you were just making small 696 00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:08,600 talk with me being like, oh, listen to the podcast. 697 00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:11,920 And I had just a full explicit porn mag under my arm and just 698 00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:13,800 never addressed it. And you addressed it and you 699 00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:15,800 were like, oh, got some reading material there. 700 00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:20,320 And I just went, yeah, Yep. No, I buy 442, the football 701 00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:22,960 magazine. I like to get myself. 702 00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:25,040 I sound like a child, like AI sound like a child. 703 00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:28,160 Businessman here. I buy 442 football magazine. 704 00:37:29,240 --> 00:37:31,840 I might buy some crisps, even though I'm a bit crisp, you 705 00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:35,040 know, I'll buy some crisps. I'll go to Starbucks, I'll get a 706 00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:38,120 cup of tea. And I will also say, can I have 707 00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:41,320 a wee tiny carton of almond milk as well for the flight? 708 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:45,200 And the person might not like it, but they will begrudgingly 709 00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:46,560 give me. I'll offer to pay, but then they 710 00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:48,840 won't charge me for it. And that means I can have wee 711 00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:50,560 cups of tea on the plane and put in my almond milk. 712 00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:53,640 Everybody wins. Everyone's a winner, baby. 713 00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:56,200 That's no doubt. And then I get on the plane. 714 00:37:57,480 --> 00:38:00,760 Or maybe sometimes I go to the wee curries in the airport. 715 00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:06,400 Maybe I buy some sort of gadget. I've never done that. 716 00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:10,680 Bought headphones once in an airport, My Sony headphones that 717 00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:12,800 I like to wear, we Bluetooth wireless ones. 718 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:14,440 Don't know how that technology works, but I love it. 719 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:19,040 Anyway, when I was at the Apple Green, on my way down, I stopped 720 00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:24,560 to get diesel and a sandwich or something, and I was sort of 721 00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:26,000 cutting the not cutting the fine. 722 00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:29,640 As long as I got there relatively quickly, I was going 723 00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:34,040 to be all right. And I got out of my car and I 724 00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:37,760 closed the door. I filled it up with diesel, went 725 00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:43,280 in, paid, came back out, door wasn't opening, car was 726 00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:46,600 unlocked. I was hitting unlock, it wasn't 727 00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:50,000 opening and I went round. I tried the door, it wouldn't 728 00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,200 open. I went round to the passenger 729 00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:54,200 side, tried the door wasn't open. 730 00:38:54,720 --> 00:38:57,760 Back door one side Nope, other side Nope. 731 00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:02,200 Boot opened right? So the boot opened, but the 732 00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:08,480 Passat is like a long car, so it's not like you could just 733 00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:11,680 like get into the boot and then get through the back seat and 734 00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:16,440 open it. So I'm going there must be a 735 00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:18,680 quick fix here. I didn't panic at all. 736 00:39:19,240 --> 00:39:22,120 I went on YouTube, which I always do to solve the problem 737 00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:26,600 and I realised that because my keys are the we blip, blip, you 738 00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:29,360 blip, blip, you hit it and the we blip, blip, then blip, blip 739 00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:31,880 to lock it. So I typed in my blip, Blip 740 00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:35,040 isn't working. No, I just said like Passat, 741 00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:38,880 automatic doors not opening, automatic locking, not opening. 742 00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:42,280 And it said you actually have a wee key inside your wee blipper 743 00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:44,920 and I didn't realise that. So you could open the thing and 744 00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,760 then a wee key pops out and I went, oh class, there's a hole 745 00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:49,440 for a key I've never seen before. 746 00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:51,200 You had to take a wee bit of the door handle off. 747 00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:54,480 I did that, put my key in, happy as Larry turned it. 748 00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:58,480 Not opening, not opening, no windows open, no way of getting 749 00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:00,520 in. So I keep calm. 750 00:40:01,240 --> 00:40:05,480 I go online, I'm just outside Dundalk so iPhone a locksmith 751 00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:09,680 based in Dundalk and I say hello, I'm parked at the Apple 752 00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:11,080 green. I can't get into my car. 753 00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:12,440 Is there any way you can come and help? 754 00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:14,920 And the woman goes we wouldn't be able to get out for like 755 00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:17,280 another 4 hours. And in my head I was going how 756 00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:19,680 are you that busy? You're a locksmith and it's not 757 00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:22,880 1927. She goes there's another 758 00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:24,520 locksmith, I'll give you their number, phone them. 759 00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:28,200 No answer At this point. Starting to panic a bit because 760 00:40:29,720 --> 00:40:33,000 if my car was parked in like 1 of the parking bays I could go 761 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:36,400 into apple green and say I'm going to leave this car here for 762 00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:40,240 a week but here's why. And then Mark Townsend would 763 00:40:40,240 --> 00:40:44,400 give me a tenner for my trip 100% but it was parked like 764 00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:45,280 right at the. Petrol pump. 765 00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:48,280 So I couldn't, I knew it would take so long to organise like 766 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:50,560 moving it and all that kind of, well, there was no way to move 767 00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:53,880 it. So I'm starting to kind of panic 768 00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:59,160 a bit and I open the boot and I think is there a way for me to 769 00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:03,560 get through now when I get into the boot my. 770 00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:07,080 Body is the whole way in the boot lengthwise not like 771 00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:09,920 sideways, so the boot. What I'm saying is the boot is 772 00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:11,760 so. Long, like unnecessarily long. 773 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:17,640 And eventually I managed to hit a button and get the middle seat 774 00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:19,120 down. That's all I can do, you know, 775 00:41:19,120 --> 00:41:22,320 like not even the middle seat. Sorry, you know the way armrest. 776 00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:25,840 How fucked up is this? You know the armrest? 777 00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:28,360 Like sometimes in a middle seat you can pop down. 778 00:41:28,720 --> 00:41:29,960 You could. Open that up. 779 00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,840 So I opened that up. By the way, I'm at a petrol pump 780 00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:34,160 beside the doors of an Apple green. 781 00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:36,320 It looks like I've kidnapped myself. 782 00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:42,320 I managed to like get that open. And then I'm thinking, you know, 783 00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:46,680 is there some way I can? Because I'm like, I can't get 784 00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:48,360 through. I can't get my body through this 785 00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:50,920 gap, you know, because then I could open the door from the 786 00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:53,160 inside and it would have been sweet. 787 00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:55,080 So I'm like, what am I going to do? 788 00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:57,560 And I was really starting to panic. 789 00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:03,280 And then I took off my jumper and my coat and I was just in my 790 00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:08,320 T-shirt and I started to try and see if I could squeeze through 791 00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:13,400 this small gap. And I thought this was really 792 00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:14,920 weird. I was starting to sweat a bit, I 793 00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:19,760 thought, But then the sweat helped me and I get like half of 794 00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:22,800 my body into the back of my car and all I need to do is be able 795 00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:28,040 to reach the back seat door, open it, push it out, and that's 796 00:42:28,040 --> 00:42:32,680 all I need to be able to do. So I get in. 797 00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:34,680 I can't reach, I'm nowhere near it. 798 00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:37,080 Then I suddenly see. That I have a. 799 00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:39,080 Coat hanger A plastic coat hanger. 800 00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:42,120 Sorry if the youngest was born. There's a plastic I'm going to 801 00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:43,840 miss my flight. Also, by the way, there's a 802 00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:49,400 plastic coat hanger in my reach. I reach that, I hook that on the 803 00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,360 end of the metal end of the door handle. 804 00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:56,360 I pull it back. I then fucking so weird had 805 00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:58,600 like, you know, like a cane, like a plastic cane. 806 00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:01,360 A wee pimp would have. I had that from some video for 807 00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:04,360 some reason. So I use my other, I hook the 808 00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:07,480 door handle. I pull it open and it's open, 809 00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:09,720 but it needs pushed out. Use my other hand, like Steve, 810 00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:11,720 like Stephen Henry, like a wee snooker player, Ronnie 811 00:43:11,720 --> 00:43:14,400 O'Sullivan. I just like use the snooker cue 812 00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:18,080 type thing to push the door out. Unreal. 813 00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:21,960 I genuinely. It's so difficult to squeeze 814 00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:23,800 back out this hole. That's what she said. 815 00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:26,880 Get out of the boot. Close the boot. 816 00:43:27,720 --> 00:43:33,320 Unbelievable, I then. Reach through the driver's seat. 817 00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:37,320 I reach through. I open that, I push that door 818 00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:39,080 out, I run around to hold it for myself. 819 00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:41,760 I get in the car, drive Dublin airport. 820 00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:47,120 Unreal. Then I make sure that like, I 821 00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:49,840 know where I'm parking, all that I'm like, right, I must make a 822 00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:54,120 note that when I get home and get the car fixed, I get out of 823 00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:56,840 the car at Dublin Airport. I'm in the. 824 00:43:56,840 --> 00:44:02,120 Furthest away, airport car park. I open my car. 825 00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:05,520 I go round to the boot. I take my suitcase out. 826 00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:11,480 Yeah, isn't this it? I go round to the boot. 827 00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:16,960 I take my suitcase out. Close the door and realised that 828 00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:21,000 the whole thing's locked again, my keys won't work and my 829 00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:22,800 passport is in the front of my car. 830 00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:26,760 There we go. Passport's in the front of my 831 00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:33,280 car, done the whole thing again and also the coat hanger that I 832 00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:38,040 used is now not in the backseat, I put it in the boot so I have 833 00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:41,240 to figure out some other way of. I can't remember what I used, 834 00:44:41,240 --> 00:44:43,240 but I managed to do the whole thing again. 835 00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:52,080 And that was a long story, but I think it's a metaphor for 20/21. 836 00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:53,760 The thing's a metaphor for the past year. 837 00:44:54,000 --> 00:45:00,160 And I think The thing is we just have to sometimes, most of the 838 00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:01,120 time like in most. Years. 839 00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:02,560 We just open the door. Blip, blip. 840 00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:04,240 We open it. This year we're having to go 841 00:45:04,240 --> 00:45:07,160 through the boot, but it'll be worse in the end and it was a 842 00:45:07,160 --> 00:45:10,520 good trip. OK. 843 00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:15,280 We'll take some questions here. Let's see what we got, Carl 844 00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:17,520 Cunningham said. I put these out last week, by 845 00:45:17,520 --> 00:45:19,480 the way, but I ended up doing a guest episode last week. 846 00:45:21,040 --> 00:45:23,120 Carl was looking. For Myths and stories of Saint 847 00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:28,800 Patrick, didn't we do breakfast brew? 848 00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:30,200 I mean, oh, what a great salesman. 849 00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:33,040 I did a breakfast brew. Episode all about Saint Patrick 850 00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:36,800 with me and producer Dan and. I'll just give you 1 fact that I 851 00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:39,440 like about Saint Patrick's. Patty Davis was last week, and 852 00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:42,560 that is. That Saint Patrick's real name 853 00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:46,200 was May win Suitcat. Unbelievable. 854 00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:47,920 May win Suitcat. He should have kept that because 855 00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:51,720 it's way better than Patrick. Also, Speaking of Patty's Day, 856 00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:56,320 on Patty's Day, our TV shows on BBC and it's still on BBC 857 00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:58,520 iPlayer. She and Todd's Ray of lockdown. 858 00:45:58,520 --> 00:46:01,000 Go and check it out. Me and Dave Elliott doing a TV 859 00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,800 version of the radio show. It went down great. 860 00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:08,280 I don't know if we'll do if we'll get to do it again, but it 861 00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:11,200 was brilliant crack and the feedback too was like way better 862 00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:13,800 than we expected. And also there's two episodes of 863 00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:15,560 the rave lockdown radio show left. 864 00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:19,560 We've got 2 episodes. Left So that's this Friday 865 00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:23,680 night, sixth half seven on Radio All Star Shane McGuire. 866 00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:25,360 Do you know anyone selling magic mushrooms? 867 00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:28,440 Asking for a friend. I don't know anybody selling 868 00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:32,840 magic mushrooms. I don't know a lot about magic 869 00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:34,680 mushrooms really. And more meaning to get the 870 00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:40,080 idea, but but yeah, I've never, I've never taken magic 871 00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:42,560 mushrooms. It's something I would like, I 872 00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:44,440 would be interested to do, but it will have to be in a very 873 00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:46,840 controlled environment and I have to know I wouldn't die. 874 00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:49,280 And ultimately. If you couldn't guarantee me 875 00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:51,240 that, then I wouldn't do it, and you probably couldn't convince 876 00:46:51,240 --> 00:46:54,200 me of that. But people used to go up golf 877 00:46:54,200 --> 00:47:00,880 courses to get magic mushrooms again. 878 00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:02,440 Thought someone's going to murder a Moon Gordon. 879 00:47:03,720 --> 00:47:05,400 So do I know anyone selling magic mushrooms? 880 00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:07,320 I don't. I don't tell your maid. 881 00:47:07,320 --> 00:47:08,640 I'm sorry. Aaron McCann. 882 00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:11,680 Not the comedy Aaron McCann, but just a different guy who's also 883 00:47:11,680 --> 00:47:14,560 called Aaron McCann, says how do you come up with the jokes for 884 00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:16,200 Keith Cruz? By the way, you're a legend 885 00:47:16,560 --> 00:47:18,280 right back at you other arm McCann. 886 00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:20,120 That's like call you other arm McCann. 887 00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:21,560 Like you're just a different arm McCann. 888 00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:24,600 How do I come up? With the with Keith Cruz. 889 00:47:24,720 --> 00:47:27,800 Just years of playing local amateur league football. 890 00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:33,120 You get to see in here all these real life Keith cruises and hear 891 00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:36,600 people shout he doesn't. Want it, you know, sometimes at 892 00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:38,360 me and a lot of time I don't want it. 893 00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:42,080 So I just put that all together. But like the Mike McGoldrick 894 00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:44,000 thing, just living in Hollywood, being a. 895 00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:46,960 Dishwasher down a control Yacht Club you just you just observe 896 00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:50,120 people like knowing it and then you put it in the put it in 897 00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:50,840 their. Character. 898 00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:57,200 I'll do another crazy video soon, Christwire Ginley says. 899 00:47:57,920 --> 00:48:01,080 UFO It's UFO Week this week. Are you? 900 00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:03,560 Are you a believer of UFOs? If so. 901 00:48:03,560 --> 00:48:07,640 Why? If not, why I'm not a? 902 00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:13,800 Believer of UFOs, I don't believe the UFOs really exist 903 00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:20,200 because I mean, it's easier to say you don't believe they exist 904 00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:22,960 than to say they do exist because if you're like it's 905 00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:26,960 easier to not prove it because we're already not proving it 906 00:48:26,960 --> 00:48:30,400 because. You can't show me one in the 907 00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:33,920 flesh and don't like if you're like an alien guy watching this 908 00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:35,840 and you're like, I can beam me up and I'll show you one, then 909 00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:39,160 I'll send you that. I don't want to do that and I 910 00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:41,960 don't think UFOs exist. But it is kind of fun, the idea 911 00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:43,640 of it. I would, I wouldn't mind it. 912 00:48:43,640 --> 00:48:46,960 Like I'm up for gigging anywhere. 913 00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:49,240 Like once we can do stand up again, I would do a gig in a 914 00:48:49,240 --> 00:48:50,760 UFO. But there's that guy. 915 00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:54,080 Is it Salazar? Salazar, who was on Joe Rogan's 916 00:48:54,080 --> 00:48:57,480 podcast, who says he worked on the UFO or something. 917 00:48:58,440 --> 00:49:01,680 Area 52, is that what it is? I don't know. 918 00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:05,680 No, I don't believe UFOs are real. 919 00:49:06,760 --> 00:49:09,040 It's a bit like. Aliens in general is. 920 00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:13,360 I don't think they would look like we think they do because 921 00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:15,680 that's ultimately us that has come up with. 922 00:49:16,880 --> 00:49:19,720 Visual drawings and representations of what we think 923 00:49:19,720 --> 00:49:21,560 they would. Be Who's to say they look? 924 00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:24,480 Like if there really are aliens, they probably don't look like 925 00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:27,320 anything we can comprehend or we've ever seen before. 926 00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:29,840 Like there might be some different colour we've never 927 00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:33,760 even seen, like a really bright turquoise or something. 928 00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:35,120 One that we have seen that probably. 929 00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:40,480 I'm blowing my own mind here. I don't, I don't believe in 930 00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:41,480 like. Aliens, or yet? 931 00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:48,480 Well, no, Jesus Christ, I don't think there are UFOs, but if 932 00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:51,960 there is other life forms, which there probably is somewhere, 933 00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:53,360 right? But they're not like I don't 934 00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:55,200 think they're we like big head green fellas. 935 00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:58,280 Go on. Take me to your dealer, you 936 00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:04,560 know, sell magic mushrooms bra. I don't think there are, but 937 00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:08,320 they're definitely, well, not definitely because I mean, I 938 00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:09,600 wouldn't be a leading light on this. 939 00:50:10,120 --> 00:50:13,520 But there has to be life. Forms on other planets for sure 940 00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:18,520 in the in the whole, I'm not qualified enough to talk about 941 00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:21,560 this, but if you want, I'll get a UFO expert on the podcast when 942 00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:23,120 we get into the studio and we can talk about that. 943 00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:25,480 That'd be a lot of fun because I just realised I think I do 944 00:50:25,480 --> 00:50:34,160 believe in aliens. Gareth Montgomery says when I 945 00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:37,480 was in NRC I had an assignment on how bad Battle of the Bone 946 00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:39,400 was. NRC sounds like a local rap 947 00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:44,480 group. I couldn't be bothered to come 948 00:50:44,480 --> 00:50:45,480 up with what I think it stands for. 949 00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:47,600 But yeah. You had an assignment on how bad 950 00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:49,600 Battle of the Bone was. Yeah, Battle of the Bone was a 951 00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:51,920 zombie Kung Fu horror film. I was in when I was. 952 00:50:51,920 --> 00:50:55,240 Already a teen and it was made locally and it's kind of like a 953 00:50:55,240 --> 00:50:58,440 cult hit in that it's one of those ones where it's so bad 954 00:50:58,440 --> 00:50:59,760 that it's kind of good people enjoy it. 955 00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:04,680 It's weird that you did an assignment on that, and if you 956 00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:06,080 are, I don't know if you're. Like. 957 00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:08,600 A filmmaker, yourself or anything like that. 958 00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:15,200 But if you are, you know, I don't know if you if you've done 959 00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:16,640 anything as good as Battle of the Bone. 960 00:51:16,720 --> 00:51:20,040 Battle of the Bone was so bad. But there's worse. 961 00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:23,120 Stuff, you know what I mean? I mean, if anyone hasn't seen 962 00:51:23,120 --> 00:51:26,600 Battle of the Bone, it's me with a shaved head and some other 963 00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:32,960 guys beating up some zombies on the 12th of July. 964 00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:35,360 Because that is the one thing that brings Protestants and 965 00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:37,760 Catholics together. And spoiler alert. 966 00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:41,400 But the last scene in it is me impaling the main zombie with a 967 00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:43,640 tricolour and a Union Jack. So I mean, it's a pretty good 968 00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:46,720 film. Gareth, I would need to see some 969 00:51:46,720 --> 00:51:49,320 of your work because unless you're like young Scorsese, you 970 00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:52,800 can't be, you can't be bringing that heat. 971 00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:56,880 So I want you to send me one of your films and I want to. 972 00:51:56,880 --> 00:52:00,840 See if it's really good. And if it isn't, I think that 973 00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:06,040 slide that you've done that assignment, because some people 974 00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:08,560 love Battle of the Bone, like the guy who made it, the guy who 975 00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:12,080 directed it, he loved it. He thought it was really good 976 00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:16,320 and, and a lot of people didn't. I didn't think it was good. 977 00:52:17,560 --> 00:52:18,880 But we did it, you know what I mean? 978 00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:22,560 This class it was done with the as in the experience kinda I. 979 00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:25,200 Don't know, maybe it wasn't. It was done with a budget of 10 980 00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:30,240 ground and it was just very interesting to see the process 981 00:52:30,240 --> 00:52:33,600 of it. And but at the time you were 982 00:52:33,600 --> 00:52:36,680 like, Oh yeah, bit of fun. Like like a lot of the people 983 00:52:36,680 --> 00:52:38,040 that worked on it were very sound. 984 00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:40,680 Still be in touch with quite a lot of people from it. 985 00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:45,640 But yeah, it was one of those like it's a it's worth a watch, 986 00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:48,840 probably for the wrong reasons, but. 987 00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:53,320 You know, at the time being like, I don't know, 18/19/18 988 00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:55,400 when someone's like, hey, do you want to be in a film? 989 00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:56,400 You. Go yeah. 990 00:52:57,480 --> 00:53:01,000 So when? So Gareth, I'm keen to see, I'm 991 00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:03,840 keen to see your films from the NRC. 992 00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:08,720 Yeah, man, back in the day when I was in the NRC, me Dappy from 993 00:53:08,720 --> 00:53:13,760 N Dubs and Craig David, you know, NRC sounds like you would 994 00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:18,600 support Lamar on tour. If you remember Lamar, he 995 00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:20,800 actually had some decent songs. Remember 5050? 996 00:53:22,080 --> 00:53:23,440 No, maybe a bit like Battle of Bono. 997 00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:25,840 I was like, yeah, it was good. And then I thought about it when 998 00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:28,480 it wasn't. But you know what you could do? 999 00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:30,240 You got to shoot me that assignment because I would 1000 00:53:30,240 --> 00:53:32,080 genuinely enjoy reading that over a cup of tea. 1001 00:53:33,120 --> 00:53:35,760 Fair play. Thank you very much to everybody 1002 00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:38,760 who's listened to watch the episode. patreon.com, 1003 00:53:38,760 --> 00:53:41,480 Tubepodcast. If you want more content, we 1004 00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:42,960 should be back in the studios in the next. 1005 00:53:42,960 --> 00:53:46,520 Couple of weeks we could. Have some very sexy visual 1006 00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:49,000 stuff. I don't know how to describe 1007 00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:50,320 that. Thanks for watching. 1008 00:53:50,320 --> 00:53:52,280 Thanks for listening. See you later. 1009 00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:53,160 Keep sipping tea.