1 00:00:00,680 --> 00:00:02,960 I'm Michael. Che and I'm Colin Jose, and 2 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:05,280 we've got a little secret. Actually, it's a pretty big 3 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:06,480 secret. Well, now you got to give the 4 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:08,360 people something. I'm not saying a word. 5 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:09,920 Oh, then people will know to tune in. 6 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:12,080 Come on, tell them a little. Like our hosting of comedy 7 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,640 events streaming only on Peacock, exactly how it's called 8 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:17,200 New York After Dark and it's a comedy show that only features 9 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:18,960 drop in comic. Boom, you nail. 10 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:20,360 Into Michael Che's phone. Nervous. 11 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:24,320 Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey. New York After Dark. 12 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:26,760 It's some kind of comedy thing and it's streaming now. 13 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:40,560 Only on Peacock. You love it. 123 Good afternoon. 14 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:44,600 See the West link. That is the horniest thing I've 15 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:48,320 ever heard about Meredith. There's some of those chicken 16 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:57,840 waffles. Mr. Porter, I feel gosh, this is 17 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:00,680 unbelievable. It's absolute chaos. 18 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:10,200 Sippers, welcome to this episode of the Tea with Me podcast. 19 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,800 With me you're we meet she and Todd. 20 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:16,320 Before we get into this episode, I need to plug a few things. 21 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:21,320 First and foremost, Patreon. Join the VIP club, become an 22 00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:24,080 official sipper. We've got it all going on over 23 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:26,280 there. We've got the SSE podcast 24 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:29,200 featuring Kieran Bartlett and Dave Elliott and DJ Martin 25 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:33,200 McCabe live on there. It's all cut together in a nice 26 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,760 sexy package. Foster great at a job in that. 27 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,080 Who did it? It's unbelievable. 28 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:42,320 You get the bonus episodes on a Monday, which which is called 29 00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:44,600 the Special Brew. The last couple episodes we 30 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:50,280 recorded there shot in LA, we've got one shot in Austin, TX with 31 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:52,720 the this week's in Hollywood here in studio. 32 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:55,680 So we do the live stream, of course, every Friday. 33 00:01:56,080 --> 00:02:01,920 We are sponsored by none other than Nord VPN, not Nord Vulpen. 34 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:06,160 Nord VPN. What is AVPN, Dave? 35 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:10,000 Well, it's a virtual private network, a tool that safeguards 36 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:13,760 your Internet connection and enhances your online privacy. 37 00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:17,600 It establishes a secure and encrypted pathway for your 38 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:21,600 online data traffic. This tunnel is impenetrable, 39 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:25,840 ensuring that no one can Snoop on your Internet activities, 40 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:29,360 access your personal data, or determine your actual IP address 41 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:31,960 and geographical location. Because they're all trying to do 42 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:35,160 that trust Snoop on you, trying to find out where they are. 43 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,720 I'm looking at you insert country. 44 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:42,640 You know I use this whenever I'm on tour to make sure I keep a 45 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:47,280 secure look Tunnel. I like to be in an impenetrable 46 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:50,360 tunnel when I'm on tour using hotel Wi-Fi. 47 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:54,760 Zippers can get an exclusive Nord vpnoffer@nordvpn.com/tea 48 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:59,840 with me with no risk 30 day money back Guarantee You get 49 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:03,520 your exclusive D by going to nordvpn.com/tea with me to get a 50 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:05,960 huge discount off your Nord VPN plan. 51 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:09,680 Every two year plan receives a bonus four months on top. 52 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:15,120 We're also sponsored by None of the Manscaped, Manscaped on the 53 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:17,880 number one in men's below the belt grooming. 54 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:21,120 You know it, you love it. They've been supporting us from 55 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:24,360 the start down. What's the manscape thing I got 56 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:26,240 this week? And I loved the handyman. 57 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:28,880 The handyman. Always great when you get a 58 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:32,640 handyman, you know, to do a job for you in the house. 59 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:36,320 And this handyman's doing a job on my chiselled face. 60 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:39,120 It's a face trimmer. That down would you say goes 61 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:42,400 right to the bone, not right to the bone, right to the skin, 62 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:44,960 right to the skin. It goes right to the skin. 63 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:49,040 Debbie. OK, so this day, I mean look at 64 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:50,760 this guy. If this guy got his hands on a 65 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:56,520 handyman, it looks like a big shave, baby. 66 00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:00,880 It takes it right to the right to the wire and I love it. 67 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:04,200 I genuinely just got it as part of manscapes new pack. 68 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,600 Took it home, used it, brought it on to her. 69 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:09,600 It's great. It's it's got a sleek design is 70 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,080 what I would say. It's very sexy, fits in your 71 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:15,640 palm and so go check that out and all Manscape products. 72 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:17,680 They have everything, especially coming up to Christmas. 73 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:20,200 Let's sound to bring you a smooth sack. 74 00:04:20,399 --> 00:04:23,720 Go to manscape.com. Music called Tea with me for 20% 75 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:27,120 off and free shipping. I can't hold them back any 76 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:32,960 longer. Ladies and gentlemen, my guest 77 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:35,880 this week is a hairy face man. Yeah, and it's coming up to the 78 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:38,440 festive season. But this man's beard is black. 79 00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:42,440 Brian, I always. Brimsy. 80 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:44,160 What colour would you say your beard is dark? 81 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:45,680 Brown. But it's black. 82 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:49,720 No, it's dark, dark brown because science, the race of 83 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:51,920 people, Caucasians cannot have black hair. 84 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,480 Yeah, Italians. Yeah, no, there's dark, dark, 85 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:55,240 dark. They're not. 86 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:56,400 They're black hair. No. 87 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:57,480 Yeah. Dark brown. 88 00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,040 Maybe. It's product science. 89 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:04,160 And my guest this week is none other than Dave Elliott. 90 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,560 Welcome. No, I welcome you. 91 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,280 Yeah, well, I'm welcome to be here. 92 00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:10,480 I'm welcoming myself. No, you're welcome. 93 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:11,800 What do you sorry? What do you mean? 94 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,720 You're welcome to be here. I'm just, yeah, I'm just, you're 95 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:17,560 said, feeling welcomed. Yeah, yeah. 96 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:20,120 Welcome. I am feeling welcomed, yes, I'm 97 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:23,520 a wee bit discombobulated there and startled by some goings on. 98 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:26,120 So I'm feeling welcome. Yes, I feel welcome. 99 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:27,560 Yes, I feel welcome. I feel good. 100 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:29,920 I wanted to. I did some manscaping today. 101 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,160 Did you right? Yeah, We bet. 102 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:32,320 I used. Them on yourself. 103 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:35,360 Yeah, I use the manscape for my old bonds as well. 104 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,760 And then I thought, you know, I found that we clipped to go in 105 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:39,800 the end, so I did downstairs as well. 106 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:42,480 We tidy up because I don't want down there to be like this, 107 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:45,320 because I don't want to run the risk of people mistaking me for 108 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,040 a child. Yeah. 109 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,840 So if they see down here and there's no pubes, I don't want 110 00:05:49,840 --> 00:05:52,880 to be like, that's a kid, so I like to keep. 111 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:54,280 It but why would they be seeing that? 112 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:58,280 It's 2023. Man, I don't know, have you ever 113 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:01,200 like? Be mistaken genitalia Lily wise 114 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,200 for a child? I don't know, not yet, but 115 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,160 hopefully. Genitalia. 116 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:07,880 Lily wise, yeah. Do you genitalia wise you play 117 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:11,400 Real Madrid? Do you ever have you ever 118 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:17,240 accidentally exposed yourself? Well, not accidentally, fully on 119 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:18,960 purpose. What do you figure that one? 120 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:21,360 Yeah. Do you ever do you ever be like 121 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:25,560 out and then you need to you need to piss and then your kids 122 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:28,560 are like in the toilet with you and then they'll go to like mess 123 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:32,040 about with the door and Costa. That's my biggest fear, you 124 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:34,960 know, But if you had that. Not so much with the kids. 125 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,480 It's your wife. There's been no another time 126 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,720 where I don't know what I was doing. 127 00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:43,720 I was having a really stressful day and work and I went to the 128 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:46,520 toilet. I was sitting down the bog and I 129 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,760 just whatever way it was, I just wasn't I wasn't sitting 130 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:50,840 comfortable. Moy Willy wasn't in the bowl 131 00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:52,800 right. So I just, I did my pee at the 132 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,800 start and just set my Willy on top of the thing and I was just 133 00:06:55,800 --> 00:07:01,360 laying back on trying to poo and I hadn't and I got into the 134 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:03,480 disabled toilet and you know, I sorry toilets. 135 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:05,640 Don't be that after. They don't really have good like 136 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,200 handles the like it's hard to work. 137 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,160 It's not a strip, you know, because it's hard. 138 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:12,480 So I was like, it was laying back in the toilet and hadn't 139 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:16,000 closed the door right and my boss just walked in and like, 140 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:17,880 he's going to go to himself. What? 141 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:21,320 What's he doing because? And you were kind of The thing 142 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,600 is. Head back, Willie, just sitting 143 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,040 out, Yeah. The fact that it was sitting 144 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:27,240 out, it looks like it looks like you're you're sort of like 145 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,760 presenting as like a like like Salt Bay would. 146 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:32,200 Maybe when you go into a restaurant, he maybe present you 147 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,160 the cut of meat that you're going. 148 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:34,800 To get. I can't explain to him why. 149 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:36,960 Yeah. Because it it makes still makes 150 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:38,640 no sense and sounds like a. Lie not no. 151 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:41,440 Well, he's not comfy. Just wasn't comfy and but it was 152 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:43,800 the why the head was back. I'm like, can I say fall? 153 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:47,160 Asleep. That is the you mentioned there 154 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:54,000 the most disgusting thing, which is your Jimmy touching the seat. 155 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:56,920 Yeah, in a in like. A No, not a seat because. 156 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:58,640 I don't use the seat. Just the rim. 157 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,080 I got more Jimmy caught under the seat when I was a kid. 158 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,560 I'm traumatised. No, it doesn't matter if it 159 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:05,920 touches anything. I always give a big wipe down 160 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,000 first. I'm very important. 161 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:08,680 You will. Yeah, yeah. 162 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:11,600 Dave doesn't use a seat, No. What do you mean you don't use a 163 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,240 seat? This right when I was younger, 164 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,160 right? Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, 165 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:15,960 sorry. Yeah. 166 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:17,920 I felt sorry through this before. 167 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:21,240 You don't know this. If I knew what I think, you're 168 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:23,440 telling me we wouldn't be best friends, right? 169 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:26,400 OK. Are you telling me you're stink? 170 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:30,760 You're stinking? Are you telling me you don't use 171 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:32,679 the the toilet seat? Yeah. 172 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,320 You lift that up and you. Just sit. 173 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:35,520 I remit. Yeah, I remit. 174 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:40,679 What's wrong with that? You're stinking, but hold on. 175 00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:43,559 That's, that's that. I swear I could be saying I've 176 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:45,040 watched it. Have you done that in this 177 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:47,880 building? Every building I always do it 178 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:49,880 and then sometimes they don't even rim. 179 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:52,200 I just squat. I just hover a board if it's a 180 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:53,920 dirty rim. I could the squat. 181 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:55,800 All the bombs. All the bombs touch the seats. 182 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:59,600 The bombs don't touch the rims. Everyone, everyone knows pisses 183 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,400 on. Everyone's pisses everywhere. 184 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:03,760 It's in the toilet. The toilets are cauldron of 185 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,760 pissing shite. It's splashing everywhere. 186 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:07,640 There's germs everywhere. We're always getting, we're 187 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:10,520 touching bombs, we're touching Dicks, we're in the toilets. 188 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:15,960 That's what's going on. But then you put, you put your. 189 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:19,040 Thing it was sore mate. On the I. 190 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,120 Was uncomfortable. I didn't want it right. 191 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:24,320 What's worse, I didn't want the top my Willy touching underneath 192 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:25,960 the rim. That's even worse thinking so. 193 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:28,520 No, that's it. That's that could be the 194 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:31,480 cleanest part of the toilet. But it might not be, and nobody 195 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:32,520 knows. There's not be enough. 196 00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:35,400 So you said on that, you said on the cold rim. 197 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,120 Yes, I do, I said. Because. 198 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:38,880 Because whenever I was little, right? 199 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:40,400 You're not on note. Yes, Steven. 200 00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:42,160 No. Even whenever I was a little bit 201 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:44,760 younger, and I say a little bit younger, I was, I was a child. 202 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,520 I got my wee bum caught on. You know the wee things that 203 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,160 used to put in the toilet to refresh them. 204 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:50,200 There was like the way you hooked. 205 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,120 It on your bum caught? So my bum had it and it was sore 206 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:56,320 and I sort of like moved on and I knit my Willy between the seat 207 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,640 and the rim and that was one of the sore things that ever 208 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,000 happened. So I was like never again will I 209 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,800 use a seat and risk cut my Willy off. 210 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:06,520 So I. Think you got to you got to you 211 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:08,760 got to evaluate your life because. 212 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:11,240 I won't get murdered in the comments here, and I don't. 213 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:15,920 Think anything wrong? I I won't sit on a unfamiliar 214 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,160 toilet. See, that's not the one of my 215 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:17,800 house. Yeah, but you also. 216 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,480 I'll put tissue. I'll put tissue the whole way 217 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:23,120 around it multiple times. But you will, you will eat out a 218 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:25,600 raw chicken. So I mean, you can't be here 219 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:28,360 talking to me about germs and you'll get stuck in there. 220 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,760 You'll be salmonella, not out like. 221 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:33,360 And whereas I'm not licking nothing, I'm just my bare Willy. 222 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:35,800 And then I'll wash my hands. I'm a Willy after every good 223 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,240 time I go to the door. You don't wash your Willy, Yeah? 224 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:40,680 I will do wash my Willy. Yeah, but not every time you go 225 00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:42,080 to the toilet. No, because then I'll be another 226 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:44,920 fucking box of frogs for me to deal with. 227 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:48,040 I so upset. Although I don't use the toilet 228 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:49,160 seat here. I'm sorry. 229 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,200 You know I'm not a pervert. Could you tell me this? 230 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:55,560 You could you wash your Willy in a sink with hot water and soap 231 00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:58,760 and not at least get a semi like you're rubbing it like this? 232 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,560 You're it would be right. Well, here we go. 233 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:04,360 That's Patreon explosive, right? This is what? 234 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:06,120 Is it about doing that that would make you go? 235 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,920 I just think if you know, if you just rubbed it with a bit of 236 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:14,680 soap, start getting to bring your own. 237 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:17,000 You need to bring a wee foot still because there's no way 238 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,520 might be short legs would be able to reach. 239 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:23,720 Oh, you're sure, Willie? Why are you the horniest guy in 240 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:25,480 the world? How did you touch it? 241 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,600 No. But there's a difference if I'm 242 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:31,280 just touching it like if I go. Boy, boy, how long are you going 243 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:32,800 to take the wash it? The wash it. 244 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:36,200 I don't know, but if you roll it like that. 245 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:44,200 Why you roll it like? To get cleaned to get what we 246 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:47,560 watch. Oh, and it's easier to manoeuvre 247 00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:50,280 when it's going to leave. But of torture this about it you 248 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,400 get underneath and clean when it's. 249 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:59,320 So your technique and I don't mean to see podcast, not 250 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:00,680 especially mine. I've been reflective. 251 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:03,520 Yeah, immature. You're telling me to clean your 252 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:06,160 penis. You're like a guy. 253 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:09,560 Make it like a like with flesh and fire and the fire. 254 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:10,880 Yeah. And the fire is it. 255 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,800 No, no, And I'm not. This is not how I generally do 256 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:17,000 wash my penis. But if I was watching it in a 257 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:20,680 public bathroom, that's what I have to do. 258 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:26,240 Yeah. Cannot look weird because any 259 00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:28,160 other way you do it, it looks like you're trying to hide 260 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:28,840 something. Yeah. 261 00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:30,760 You know where you all get there, like, right, bro? 262 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,920 You know, at least the guy, he's like, Oh no, he's obviously 263 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:36,800 touched the rim with. I could see the way you live 264 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,160 your life. I could see you like nailing me. 265 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,000 I could see. I could see you kneeling down 266 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:45,080 out of your rhino to clean it. I could see you with my what? 267 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:47,520 I could see you met with my mouth. 268 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:51,920 The way you approach bathrooms, I could see you taking one knee 269 00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:54,960 down beside your rhino and then like the through you, I could 270 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,360 see you may as well. The way the way you you sit with 271 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,280 your seat on the rim and touch your Willy in the room. 272 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:02,040 I could see you just being like I may as well just like use this 273 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:03,800 and like you get the way yellow soap. 274 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:06,560 Yeah, the way yellow things and rub their yeah, rub them. 275 00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:07,480 I may as well. That's what. 276 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:08,920 You do Fucking ridiculous. What I use here. 277 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:11,120 I don't want to do is turn around, talk with it between my 278 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:17,480 legs. Oh man, do you ever be in like 279 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:21,320 public toilets and sometimes think as like a man there by 280 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:24,320 himself? Do you think you could give out 281 00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:26,520 like code by mistake? What do? 282 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,480 You mean? I'm at the toilets don't have a 283 00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:32,080 new street in Hollywood. The last time I used them, say 284 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:34,440 like a year ago, I walked in and I was whistled. 285 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:37,880 And then I thought, what if that is like? 286 00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:41,720 Four guys like a village. People are sitting there, all 287 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,600 right? We've answered the call like, 288 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:50,400 you know, and the Power Rangers, they all gather the Power Bottom 289 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:55,280 Rangers. That was that was a genuine 290 00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:57,880 thought of mine. I was whistling on my way in and 291 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:01,680 I thought, is this like a well known code to attract attention? 292 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:04,800 Then I stopped whistling and then I went, is that a cool? 293 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,520 Do not do not whistle. Is that because I think down? 294 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:11,360 In dog in circles is not where like you put the lights on and 295 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,200 then you break and you turn them off and on and that's how you 296 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,000 give people signals. So I don't know whether you 297 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:18,000 whistle and stop and yeah, anyone that's in the like this 298 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,560 CD world of public toilet sacks, let us know. 299 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:24,560 But I had a weird. Toilet. 300 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:25,840 George Michael. The King's dead. 301 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:27,560 Pardon. The king of its dead. 302 00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:28,800 George. George. 303 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,960 Yeah. There was nothing for. 304 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,760 You know me and you love George Michael. 305 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:35,520 Yeah, right. We have, like, it's one of our 306 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,440 bones. We just love the music of George 307 00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:39,480 Michael and the attitude of George Michael. 308 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:42,440 Yes. And whenever he got called in 309 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:46,000 public toilets in London and, like, Hyde Park, wherever he 310 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:50,160 clap and come, probably he, you know, a lot of pop stars 311 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:53,080 probably would have used their PR team to sort of like, you 312 00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:55,480 know, put out a statement and deny it and all that sort of 313 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,560 thing. George brought out the song 314 00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:01,480 outside. Yeah, let's go outside in the 315 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:07,040 sunshine and really released a song about having full gay sex 316 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,160 in public toilets. Yeah, but that was also so sly 317 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:12,520 as well, because there wasn't a dude doing it to talk target on 318 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:13,440 him. It was. 319 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:15,920 And this is how I find the weirdest thing, a policeman 320 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:19,000 pretend them, you know, to catch undercover thing. 321 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:23,080 Yeah, so it wasn't sting. I could be libellous. 322 00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:29,040 Me whistle walking into public toilet saying that. 323 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:31,400 Will you remember? Yes. 324 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:32,840 I'll never forget this thing. Ever. 325 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:35,240 But So what do you mean? So there was there was an 326 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:36,920 undercover place, man to catch man. 327 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:40,320 How far do you go as an undercover cop? 328 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:44,080 Like, how far do you go? Like, because you're not walking 329 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:45,800 in Saint George, washing himself in the sink. 330 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,560 There must be a point where he's like, you know, actually, does 331 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,560 he take it out and cuff it? Like, what does he? 332 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,880 Yeah, because there has to be a point when he's engaging in 333 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:54,760 something. Or as a policeman, do you have 334 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:57,880 to do like, you know, the way like a policeman might if you're 335 00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:00,400 underage or something you've been drinking, let me smell your 336 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:04,720 breath or something, you know? Does he does he do something 337 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,560 like that or will he? Like a cigar? 338 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:10,880 Or will he? Big No. 339 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:12,480 I swear I just touched it underneath the rim. 340 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:13,160 It wasn't. It wasn't. 341 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:16,320 That's why it smells like that. I'm sorry, have you been rimming 342 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:17,440 tonight? Yes, but not like that. 343 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:20,720 Not the weird, just I put my deck on the rim of the toilet 344 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:23,040 because I don't use the seat. That's even weirder than. 345 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:26,040 Yeah, imagine. Imagine you were like, my dad 346 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:27,960 was pleased he was undercover for 20 years or what? 347 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:30,680 Like in a narcos gang? Nah, just in public toilets. 348 00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:35,040 But then do you ever read the stories that appear about 349 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:38,160 undercover cops who just have like, full affairs and kids and 350 00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:39,600 all he's like, well, it's committed to the bit. 351 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,840 We mean Daniel Day now for the PS NI. 352 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:45,160 Yeah, it's totally. Being a policeman would be wild. 353 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:47,760 Yeah, it'd be stressful. I would like it. 354 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:49,520 Now, to be fair, that one would be good. 355 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:50,360 I wouldn't. I wouldn't. 356 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:54,160 Do you think you're good at lying on the spot if you have 357 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:56,240 to? Like, do you think you would be 358 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,800 a you would be a good undercover policeman? 359 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:00,880 No, I would sweat and all get nervous. 360 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:02,400 That is a big tale of yours, isn't it? 361 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,240 Yeah, You're the reverse Prince Andrew. 362 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:08,040 And Prince Albert and Catherine was sending me that I lied there 363 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:09,680 about something about, yeah, eating ice cream. 364 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:11,200 That's what I've done. I'd eaten the last day ice 365 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:12,880 cream, and she'd be like, you eat all that ice cream. 366 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,160 And I was like, no. And then the first thing was 367 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:17,040 headed. She's like, wherever you're 368 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:20,760 heading, go get it. All right, Choose. 369 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:21,920 You're lying, aren't you? Yeah. 370 00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:23,000 Yeah. I just. 371 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,480 I can't hold a lie. I just gave. 372 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:26,000 And she's. I hate that you lied to me 373 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,400 there. And I said, how did you know? 374 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,240 You said because there was ice cream. 375 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:30,200 No, there's not. Yeah. 376 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,320 You're not looking at my eyes. You're sweating everywhere. 377 00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:34,040 Yeah. Yeah. 378 00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:35,480 Sorry. So yeah, I don't. 379 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:36,480 I don't think I'd be good at that. 380 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,200 I thought. I get so nervous and I try to 381 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,720 warn people. Here, right go wrong. 382 00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:44,560 I'd add too much to the lie. Yes, you know what I mean. 383 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,720 Yes, I do. There'd be no need. 384 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,760 I do. There would be no need for me 385 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:53,400 to, you know, they'd just be like, you know, you knock and I 386 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,920 could just go. No, I would out wait. 387 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,640 I'd be like, I can't be because I am. 388 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:04,000 I'm. I couldn't be because, you know, 389 00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:05,520 I'm here. Let me tell you this one. 390 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:08,480 Yeah, I go. I can fly. 391 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:17,120 I don't know it would be fun. It'd be hell of a rush, But do 392 00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:19,880 you think that say you infiltrated a drugs gang, say 393 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,600 you were a cop and you infiltrated a drugs gang and 394 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:25,120 your job is to be one of them and be mates with them. 395 00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:28,400 Do you think if you were there for years, you'd actually become 396 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:30,400 mates with them? Yes, and you and then you would 397 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:33,640 you feel so sly when you betray them because it wouldn't be like 398 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:36,920 haha, I got you when you call, you know same team sex and you'd 399 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:38,840 be like I got you and then the guy be like. 400 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,160 Yeah, well, if you don't Thought we were made. 401 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:43,120 Yeah, yeah, you're my actual husband now. 402 00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:45,200 I. Wonder how many of these guys 403 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:48,640 just actually go in on? I have to, you know what I mean? 404 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,160 No, but I mean, I mean like say to the guys. 405 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,880 Yeah, then you'd be tempted sometimes when you if you 406 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:56,160 really. But yeah, that's why you 407 00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:59,280 wouldn't go into it like as I always think like I am into 408 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:02,120 like, reading like the troubles books and forming things and 409 00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:03,720 stuff like that. Cases like I'd always love to 410 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:06,240 read about that in the papers. But then I think how nervous you 411 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:08,440 be all the time for everyone because you don't know who you 412 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,760 could ever trust. Because then like if your 413 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:12,680 handler was just like, yeah, I've got all the information we 414 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:15,280 need, you can just out you. And then if anyone finds stuff 415 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:15,800 out. Yeah. 416 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:21,640 So funny. Yeah. 417 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:25,320 Oh, we'll hear about him. Oh no, he's not an informant. 418 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:30,680 Worse. Oh dear, it'd be terrible. 419 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,840 Beef knife. What would make? 420 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:41,200 Sense. What do you think, Say, when you 421 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:45,160 were younger and you wanted to, what did you want to be, you 422 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:49,640 know? One or two things, yeah. 1 was 423 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:54,400 an astronaut and two was a lollipop man, so. 424 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:56,480 I feel like 1 is more achievable than. 425 00:19:56,480 --> 00:20:01,040 Yeah, I felt like if if I didn't get to be in NASA, I could just 426 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:02,920 be outside. I love the other way around. 427 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:06,520 You're like if I if I don't make it, it's a lollipop man like to 428 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:09,440 go to space. But then I had a real moment 429 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,720 where I realised my dream of being an astronaut would never 430 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:13,920 be. I was at a fair and I was 431 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:16,320 getting in a ride. The guy was trying to put the 432 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,640 thing down on me and I was like, and he was kept on going. 433 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:20,760 I'm like, this isn't going to click. 434 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:24,040 And he was really getting angry. I was like, oh, you know, don't 435 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,760 mean to do it. And he was like, no, no, no, I 436 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:28,160 will do, I will do. I said, OK, he's pushing down. 437 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:30,560 There's not right now. I was like, oh, I'm just too 438 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,160 like, I don't know, I guess. And he went. 439 00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:36,160 Son of a bitch. What did they do? 440 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,440 Bungee Cordia. No, I just didn't go in there as 441 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:40,640 an embarrassing having to get off and walk past everyone if 442 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,360 queued to get on. Did I ever tell you about my 443 00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:45,160 brush with the light pop man? No. 444 00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,960 Oh yes. Last day of P7 and maybe told 445 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:51,760 this on a Paul before last FP7 with a loud pop man called 446 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:55,280 Walter who's brilliant as Lloyd Pop man going to say I don't 447 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:57,120 know how you could be a bad lollipop man but probably 448 00:20:57,120 --> 00:20:59,200 causing an accident where a little kids get run over. 449 00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:02,200 I mean, but what if you're the banter lollipop man and you 450 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:03,680 pretend it's all I think? It's all good. 451 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:16,520 Whenever Moses was like here. Romans Mon Walter Walter was the 452 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:20,200 Moses of our primary school and the upper Newton order was a Red 453 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:21,720 Sea. Yeah, this guy was brilliant. 454 00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:24,520 Everybody loved them. And on my last day of P7 so 455 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,880 everybody used to high 5 his lollipop stick. 456 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:32,880 And you did jump up to do it. Excuse me, he's like here, my 457 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,880 lollipop sticks and my trousers and a boys get. 458 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:40,440 A real handle on it. So what you would do is you'd 459 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,960 jump up because the lollipop stick was probably at his head 460 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:45,720 level. She jumped up and gave it a high 461 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:47,120 5. Everyone loved to do it. 462 00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:50,280 Walter loved it. On my last day of P7 I got 463 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:54,280 carried away giddy would had a party bring your own suites. 464 00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:56,520 I was E numbered up so I walk out. 465 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:58,480 On the. I was like, this is brilliant. 466 00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:00,960 No last day of school. So many emotions, you know what 467 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:02,720 I mean? Last day of school and instead 468 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:05,280 of jumping up for a final high 5 and Walter lollipop stick, I 469 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:07,720 jumped up and headed it like you're heading the football. 470 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:11,320 Just a wee silly boy. And I was like, ah, and give it. 471 00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:13,960 And I was like, that's such a cool way to go out In my head I 472 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:16,520 was like, I'm going to legend. No long lasting friendships from 473 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:18,160 school, but I'm going to legend here. 474 00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:22,920 And I was walking the Medal's car maybe like half a mile up 475 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:27,480 this road and all these like girls were like looking at me 476 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:30,600 and like sort of like shocked and like some of them were like 477 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,080 screaming and stuff and pointing at me. 478 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:34,200 And I was like, God, they're taken really badly that I'm 479 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,480 leaving primary school. I was like, guys, I'll call, 480 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,880 I'll call. And I walked for a cab walk and 481 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,880 everyone was the me and stuff. And I was like, the fuck, like, 482 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:46,120 what's all this about? Got up to Medal's car and my dad 483 00:22:46,120 --> 00:22:48,320 goes, what happened? I said, what do you mean? 484 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,560 He's like, look at yourself. I looked full like, you know, 485 00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:53,680 remember the poster we used to have up Christian Bale and 486 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:55,880 American Psycho when the blood splatters all over his face. 487 00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:59,120 It was metal screws and Walters lollipop stick to keep the 488 00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:02,000 lollipop on the stick. I fully headed that, but it was 489 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,960 so like adrenaline rush the last day of primary school that like 490 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:06,800 blood was just oozing from my head. 491 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:10,840 So all these girls leaving school like talking about I'll 492 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:14,360 still ring you and all just walk out and just see me full blood 493 00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:15,920 coming down my face. All right, girls, you know. 494 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,160 What see to the kids that would be hard to see but the most 495 00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:21,840 people seeing a fella walking down a new North Road of blood. 496 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:23,680 It's kind of a normal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 497 00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:25,480 But one thing you mentioned there that don't think spoken 498 00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,000 enough about what makes you a weird person. 499 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,040 And you can tell from a young age. 500 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,240 See if you call back the primary school and you've left. 501 00:23:30,360 --> 00:23:34,000 Weird. I did it once and felt weird 502 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,000 about it because. You were 17. 503 00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:40,480 I'm Naked. I felt weird about it because 504 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:45,360 people in my secondary school were like, we're calling back. 505 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:49,800 So I went with them and when I went in I realised that like, I 506 00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,120 don't need to be here. I went back to Miss Thompson's 507 00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:55,560 P5 class and I wrapped the door and all and she's like, oh, and 508 00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:59,560 she didn't remember my name. She's like, oh, there he is. 509 00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:02,400 And I said. She and she's like, yes, yes, 510 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:05,680 yes, then she can remember. And then she was like, So what 511 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:07,400 do you do? And I, I remember just every 512 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:10,760 because I thought in my head, walking back to primary school, 513 00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:16,840 I was like, I'm going to walk in in my big school uniform, the 514 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,360 blazer on and all, and all these P fives. 515 00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:22,320 All these kids are going to be like, fuck me, he's here and all 516 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:25,560 and, you know, wanting mentorship and guidance and all 517 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,880 that kind of stuff. And I was 11 and I was like, oh, 518 00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:31,960 I just thought I'd say hello. And she's like, yes. 519 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:33,640 Cheers for that, Yeah. See you later. 520 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,400 And I was like, all right, kids stay out. 521 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:36,880 But. It's so weird too because then 522 00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:39,120 he's like, what are you at now? You're like, well, fucking still 523 00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:41,000 school. Same thing, yeah, just different 524 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,600 building. Yeah, still school, like I'm 525 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,080 still a kid, you know? Not different. 526 00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:45,600 You sit in the desk, you're a kids. 527 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,520 Life's a funny old game, all right? 528 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:50,440 I'm looking at a lot of you thinking you'll never get to 529 00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,280 where I am. But any year, quite. 530 00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:54,040 Literally will you? Will you'll be here? 531 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,040 What did you prefer, primary school or big school? 532 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:57,600 Big school like big school was great. 533 00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:59,440 Enjoy primary school. I prefer primary school, but I 534 00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:01,360 prefer. Big school like, but then at big 535 00:25:01,360 --> 00:25:03,280 school, that's where you separate the wheat from the 536 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:05,880 chief. Like and I was not, I wanted to 537 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:08,560 be a lollipop manager, so I was not the chief and. 538 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:10,720 State no, I was weak. Yeah, weak. 539 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:15,000 Weak I. Can't have weight, but I, I, I 540 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:16,960 don't know. I looking back on it, I just had 541 00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,200 a good time at school. There's nothing really I got 542 00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:21,400 career wise out of it other than. 543 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:24,160 I think I just loved primary. I went to Strand Town Primary 544 00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:26,880 School and I loved it. I thought primary school was 545 00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:28,960 great. But strand time, yeah, I think 546 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:32,000 you're a Hollywood guy. I am, but I went to Strand town. 547 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:33,680 Primary E Belfast. What's that? 548 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:34,880 You go? Sullivan Secondary School. 549 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:37,800 Yeah, didn't get in. What's good you take Campbell E 550 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:40,400 Belfast too? I'm probably Primary and 551 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:43,000 Sullivan. You've denounced all your own 552 00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:44,920 thing. That's my original birthplace. 553 00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:46,920 It's my birth time. My hometown's Bangor. 554 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:52,160 I'll tell you this, I. You got really like aggressive 555 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:55,720 and I go fucking talk. I don't like being I don't like 556 00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:58,960 it when anyone questions my hometown. 557 00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:00,800 OK, cool. And I'll say this that's. 558 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:02,760 Just where you lay your heart and or in your heart. 559 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:04,400 You don't have to live here of anything. 560 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:05,720 Where you lay your heart in your heart. 561 00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:08,040 Yep, banger. Where I lay my heart in my 562 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,440 heart. But you know, at least you know 563 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:12,040 you have to have some connection. 564 00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:13,680 But in your heart, if you believe you're from somewhere, 565 00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:19,880 do your thing like this is hey fuck, we are done. 566 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,240 This is my time. This is my time. 567 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:23,400 That's fair. Yeah. 568 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:26,120 New business sets up. Come and tell me. 569 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:27,960 I don't pay you. Speak to me. 570 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:29,600 Yeah, yeah. I would love it if you were. 571 00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,000 Taken. If I was extorting business, I'd 572 00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:33,680 be so great and I didn't really realise I was doing and I'm 573 00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:35,640 like, no, it's just if they want to open up here, they have to 574 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:37,920 come and see me and I make it OK, and they just pay me every 575 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:38,960 month. That would be fair. 576 00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,200 There's apparently something that's come out where it's like 577 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:47,920 there's a study done that says homework is not beneficial to 578 00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:50,080 anyone. Yeah, I read homework is the 579 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:53,000 slice thing. So do you ever see? 580 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:54,880 Obviously we love to send each other memes. 581 00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:57,280 I've one saved it. You'll tell A10 love for later. 582 00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:00,680 But there's one I read yesterday and it made me laugh a lot. 583 00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:04,200 It was like, you know, welfare, like freaking out in something. 584 00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:07,520 And it was like whenever the teacher contacts you and says 585 00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:09,680 your kids got learning difficulties until you did the 586 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:16,560 homework, It's like, I don't know, I need to talk about your 587 00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:17,080 kids. I. 588 00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,720 Remember my dad? We were learning multiplication 589 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,120 right. Easy for you to say. 590 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:29,160 And that multiplying and that my dad was trying to describe it to 591 00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:32,600 me without himself. No one hard to describe it. 592 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:35,960 Yeah. And he got like, do you ever did 593 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:37,800 you ever at home have and don't go? 594 00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:39,320 No, because my family have money. 595 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:43,600 Did you ever have a box of shrapnel like one piece 2 piece 596 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,640 5? And yes, like that Tupperware 597 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:49,160 nearly like without the lid just full of yes, yes, absolutely. 598 00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:52,120 Do people have that anymore? No, surely not. 599 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:55,880 Remember and you'd find the old twenty payment, right. 600 00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:58,200 So we had we had a big ours was a. 601 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,320 Biscuit, you know, Slide. My parents made me do that. 602 00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,080 That was my holiday money. So they go. 603 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,680 You have to take out the bank like a wee Dick, you know, going 604 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:07,800 in with a Fox's biscuit 10 into the northern bank in High St No, 605 00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:09,080 there you go, that's some holiday money. 606 00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:16,280 I'm good. 12 have a good holiday bro by our Arsenal kit you know. 607 00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:24,760 I yeah, I remember having that 10 and what was I talking? 608 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:28,400 About your dad multiplying. My dad goes basically the 609 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:32,000 easiest way I can describe multiplication is and he went 610 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:36,080 and got a load of two PS and started stocking them up. 611 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:42,000 So like 7 two PS, another 7-2 PS, another 7-2 PS and he's like 612 00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:47,560 say I have 7 * 2 and he brought 2 stacks of seven PS over. 613 00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:51,760 He's like, there, that's 14 P I was like, no. 614 00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:55,320 And he's like, so you just think about it like that. 615 00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:57,600 And I was like, I don't understand. 616 00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:01,240 And he's like, say I had 3 * 7. It brings another wee thing two 617 00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:03,720 pieces over. And he did this for ages. 618 00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:05,600 And I went in the school the next day and they were like, 619 00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:09,880 what's 8 sexes? And I was like, I don't know, 620 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:13,120 but if you give me a load of two peas, I can show you what it is. 621 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:15,080 Yeah, but like, that was just the way he was trying to 622 00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:16,720 describe it to me. But I've never been able to do 623 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:19,200 man's, ever. No, because I the biggest shock 624 00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:22,320 in my life was that I passed my GCSE mass because they had got 625 00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,440 me a tutor and all and I remember the tutor. 626 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:26,760 Oh, I had to go to a tutor. And I didn't want to go. 627 00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:29,440 And I remember the guy, he had a strange voice. 628 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:31,280 He was very nasally, spoke through the nose. 629 00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:33,320 He was like, I know you want to be here as much as I want to 630 00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:37,560 have you here me. But you, he was like, listen, 631 00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:39,160 you just need to get through this because. 632 00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:42,400 There was a benefit. My teacher was like you need you 633 00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,080 need to drop down now at the time. 634 00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:48,440 Pardon. You need to if you're one of the 635 00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:52,080 pastor GCSE's, Here's a sum for you 6. 636 00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:56,080 My deck plus you're my. Equals gaol? 637 00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:58,960 No, but let's. Go. 638 00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,120 Outside, But they had said, the school said that my folks 639 00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:06,200 basically you can drop down because I was in like regular 640 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:09,280 mass, but we dropped down to what was known as a mayday, 641 00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:12,160 something that rhymes with mass and starts with an S and AP. 642 00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:14,000 So something mass, you know what I mean to say? 643 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,960 In my case, I get cancelled and they're like, you need to do it, 644 00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:19,280 go down to do that. And I was like, no, I'm too 645 00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:20,720 stubborn to pass. And he said you won't. 646 00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:23,480 You literally won't pass. You can't. 647 00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:26,680 So they're like all you need to do is just get AD here and I was 648 00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:28,640 like, can you stop with a sex and. 649 00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:34,640 Then drop down and get AD. Yeah, no, just get through it 650 00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:36,600 here. So I didn't somehow got to be 651 00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:39,960 and like we were like the end of remarked almost as Are you sure 652 00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:42,680 nothing has made me more smug ever because my whole family 653 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:45,840 were kind of like you're a domino mass Yeah, I'm pretty 654 00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:47,360 dumb. That doesn't help you know it 655 00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:48,480 doesn't encourage me. No. 656 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:52,640 I was so stupid, like with Miles and all that kind of stuff. 657 00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:53,960 Stuff but you. Don't need it. 658 00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:55,440 That's cool. School is so weird. 659 00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:59,880 It's I think it's mad now they haven't had kids to look at them 660 00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:02,840 at that age and go, what do you want to do with forever? 661 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,000 Like, you don't know. You don't know unless you try 662 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:05,600 it. Yeah. 663 00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:07,920 And I got to go to degree in criminology and criminal 664 00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:08,560 justice. Why? 665 00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:09,680 Yeah. You know. 666 00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:13,680 And are you like, is that a bit like, say someone who studied 667 00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:16,440 French for a level, you say to them now are you still really 668 00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,520 good at French or I can't remember it at all? 669 00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:21,320 Do you know about the criminal? Would you still be up on it or 670 00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:22,960 does it change all the time? It changes. 671 00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:25,760 Like it changes all the time and because there was there wasn't 672 00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:27,280 one specific subject it's made-up. 673 00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:32,600 Like I maybe liked like 3 of the modules and some like I hated 674 00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:34,360 social. I couldn't focus my mind around 675 00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:37,640 what sociology was or social policy because it was people 676 00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:41,080 just talking about other people's opinions on things. 677 00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:43,800 And I was like, oh, so and so says that if this I'm like, 678 00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:46,320 what's wrong, mate? You're like, doesn't matter. 679 00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:48,000 It's just a theory. And I go, my theory is he's 680 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,640 talking shit, you know, and I always had this sort of back and 681 00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:52,720 like couldn't get my head round it at all. 682 00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:54,440 And then I didn't know what like in my head I thought it was 683 00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:57,040 going to be like, you know, Clarice from the Science of the 684 00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:58,000 Lamb. So I'll come out and just 685 00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:01,360 analyse people's minds. And then I just came out of it 686 00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,360 and just went and worked B&Q, you know what I mean? 687 00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:06,000 It's like there are no Hannibal actors here. 688 00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:07,840 So I was like, I don't even know what I want to do. 689 00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:10,800 And then, yeah, you know, I've ended up doing this so. 690 00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:14,600 Weird how is How's the bonds mate? 691 00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:17,640 I'll get back to that before we get away from the toilets 692 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:18,920 because I need to tell you this story. 693 00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:21,680 I did a gig the other night and it was just we're talking about 694 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,640 weird toilet etiquette. Do you know, do you have do you 695 00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:26,960 have any we like quirks or any traditions or things you're 696 00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:29,400 like, I need to do this before a gig or like it's just we things 697 00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:31,320 you do like. I'll more often not strip a 698 00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:33,400 label off a bottle of water before I go on stage. 699 00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:35,520 Just do that. I like to go in and in order to 700 00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:38,520 find my barons in a place I like to do poo settle the nerves. 701 00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:40,240 You know you don't want to go on stage and screw the. 702 00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:42,160 Toilet seat with your B&Q skills. 703 00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:43,160 Yeah. So you don't want to do. 704 00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:45,600 I do. I would say I don't. 705 00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:47,440 I would go. I don't have any rituals. 706 00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:51,520 I definitely do. I like to have, if I'm feeling a 707 00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:54,160 little bit tired, I like to have a coffee before the show. 708 00:32:55,440 --> 00:33:01,520 I like to have bottled water and nothing really apart from. 709 00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:02,560 You love your wee melon, don't you? 710 00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:04,160 You like to have wee Thingamelon? 711 00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,200 Well, yeah, cantaloupe specifically. 712 00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:10,680 That's if I've got a drive too. Sure, I've got a long drive and 713 00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:11,800 we're going to pass some marksies. 714 00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:13,840 I'll get some. I'll get some cantaloupe. 715 00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:15,240 I wouldn't say it's a. Ritual. 716 00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:16,560 You said dry. I thought you said dry. 717 00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:17,680 Like in order. Just like wet. 718 00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:18,560 Your whistle. You need a wee. 719 00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:22,160 Yeah, we can't. Fetch the cantaloupe, you said? 720 00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:24,440 No, that's not a ritual. Yeah, that's a preference. 721 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,760 So I'm at this gig, which again, it's one of these ones. 722 00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:29,240 Where is it? It could go either way. 723 00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:31,120 It's in Franklin's bar. It would end up being a great 724 00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:33,160 gig in the end, but it was one of us to ever go to gigs where 725 00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:35,360 you don't know what the setup is and you and you're worried about 726 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:37,520 what could go wrong. Yeah, so I was a bit stressed 727 00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:39,880 out about this because again, it's not if you're sort of the 728 00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:41,760 one that's the point of contact of organising it. 729 00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:45,840 You panic because you don't want to be bad for your mates who are 730 00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:48,440 on involved too and you're like so much stress. 731 00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:50,240 So I went then try and calm the nerves. 732 00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:52,320 I'll have we poo, right. So I went in the toilets were 733 00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:53,840 totally quiet dead. No one was there. 734 00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:56,440 I was there at the door and heard like we rattle at the door 735 00:33:57,200 --> 00:33:58,440 and then. You're in there doing. 736 00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:02,320 Your job I'm in there doing my business and the guy goes, oh, 737 00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:05,040 is anyone in there? And I went yeah, I'm. 738 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:09,800 And he goes, oh, I want to I. Was like. 739 00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:13,120 Yeah, well, just give me a minute. 740 00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:15,480 And he's like, no worries. But it's like, what? 741 00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:18,400 Was there other cubicles? Yes, but I don't know. 742 00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:22,360 Why whether he wanted in with? You or I know he wanted in, but 743 00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:24,080 I was like, I don't know. Does he know etiquette of the 744 00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:25,120 toilet? Like you have to wait till 745 00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:26,840 somebody's done. He's like, I know, but I want 746 00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:29,239 then. And it was like, but, and I you 747 00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:30,679 know, you're sitting there going what, what? 748 00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:33,639 What's he did that put you up? Were you able to relax then? 749 00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:36,480 No, because this is the thing. I think I had a couple more pops 750 00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:40,679 left in me and I like quiet the, you know, so if you're in there, 751 00:34:40,679 --> 00:34:42,120 you don't want to. Go think you didn't see a 752 00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:43,440 doctor? But you know what I mean, the 753 00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:45,760 big the big fart noises that echo through the toilet, 754 00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:47,480 especially when you don't have the seat down, it doesn't muffle 755 00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:49,560 any noise. So I didn't want him to just be 756 00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:52,480 standing outside the door. Maybe we go, you know, so I had 757 00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,760 to really kind of like hold my like do breath work to try and 758 00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:57,840 get it out. And then you're wiping and you 759 00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:00,920 know he's listening to the of the thing like God stress me 760 00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:02,680 out. Was that that's going down your 761 00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:03,520 bum? No, it's. 762 00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:05,480 Pulling. Pulling the toilet roll. 763 00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:09,400 But then again. You look like you were very 764 00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:10,880 liberal with a toilet roll there. 765 00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:12,680 Yeah, because I'm not buying it, you know, I mean, we're in 766 00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:15,200 public place. So let me ask you then, what's 767 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:19,560 your home etiquette with taking toilet roll for an individual 768 00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:22,800 wipe versus being in public? Until my bombs clean, Shane, no 769 00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:23,120 I. Don't. 770 00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:24,680 I'm not what I'm asking. Oh no, a four. 771 00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:26,920 I would have still got like peanut butter smears. 772 00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:28,920 It's not what I'm leaving it, not what I'm asking. 773 00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:33,080 OK, On every individual wipe that you do, how much toilet 774 00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:36,880 paper will you take for that? 10 probably sheets. 775 00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:40,200 Probably 3 folded so I'll take 3 sheets. 776 00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:43,400 Fold, snap. Yeah no I'm a folder, not a 777 00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:44,920 scruncher. I don't agree in scrunching. 778 00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:47,800 The scrunch is weird to be, although I used to be a 779 00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:50,120 scruncher. But then I think our scrunchers 780 00:35:50,240 --> 00:35:53,520 because maybe because I've heard some women on ice scrunch that's 781 00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:56,760 like, I don't know, because instead of like having testicles 782 00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:59,360 in a Willy, they've got maybe a vagina or whatever it is people 783 00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:01,840 have nowadays. And maybe that's just apparatus 784 00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:04,480 wise easier to clean. But you know, I don't want to 785 00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:05,480 like. Oh, if I had a. 786 00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:08,120 Yeah, right. Can you say it? 787 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:09,920 Yeah. Can we say that, Punani? 788 00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:12,000 If I had a punani. Yeah, right. 789 00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:14,080 Do the right term if I had to do nothing. 790 00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:18,040 We did the same single award science class. 791 00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:24,240 If I had a punani, yeah, I think I would. 792 00:36:24,240 --> 00:36:26,480 Scrunch, yeah. To wipe that. 793 00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:28,720 The poon nanny. Yeah, the bum. 794 00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:33,600 The pinanny for OK but I think then from my bum I would fold. 795 00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:37,120 Yeah. Then again, people are like, you 796 00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:38,320 can't wipe. I don't know. 797 00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:39,760 There's a lot of, there's a lot of rules. 798 00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:42,080 So what will you do then? If you're in public, in public 799 00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:44,560 toilets or at a restaurant or whatever, you'll you'll take 800 00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:46,000 loads. I'll just take because here's 801 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,480 the thing, right at home, I have a higher quality toilet roll. 802 00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:51,280 Yeah, I feel like quilted. I like I like to protect my bum. 803 00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:54,560 Whereas in Publix it's almost like sound paper sometimes. 804 00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:56,680 So you and another thing. But it's more. 805 00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:59,080 Does more of it make it better? I don't like to accidentally 806 00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:01,720 finger my bum. You only like the purposely. 807 00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:03,520 Correct. You know, I mean, at least I 808 00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:05,360 know what's coming up. I don't have a wee sheet. 809 00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:07,000 And then I go in to wipe it with vigour. 810 00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:08,480 Yeah. And then just who's he? 811 00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:14,200 Right up. I think I was trying to get in 812 00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:16,360 David's bigger. I'm welcome. 813 00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:19,480 See, I don't want to just pop in. 814 00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:20,000 You know what? I. 815 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:21,240 Mean well then don't wipe like that. 816 00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:26,680 But really, it's a good clue. Like your bonus track? 817 00:37:26,720 --> 00:37:31,080 Yeah. I wipe like I'm trying to get 818 00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:32,480 candy floss, you know? I really get. 819 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,640 You wipe. This is standard. 820 00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:44,320 We've gone into way too much of what I did standard or 821 00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:46,960 something. I said, oh, no, Oh no, I'm not 822 00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:49,440 going to tell you this, but this is going to be even more to say. 823 00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:52,480 I go between my legs this. What do you mean? 824 00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:53,960 Like I go underneath my legs to do. 825 00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:57,000 That's how a lot of people do. I don't know a lot of people go 826 00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:59,440 from behind, but I and I do it left-handed. 827 00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:03,120 Only left-handed. So you be your right-handed, 828 00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:04,480 yes. So you go in between. 829 00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:06,120 I used to have a toilet when I was my student house. 830 00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:08,000 It was very tight squeeze and you couldn't have got any 831 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,640 leverage on the right side. So I just and. 832 00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:10,680 It's so you're not there anymore. 833 00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:12,120 I know, but I just used to do it. 834 00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:15,480 Yeah. So I feel like there's more, 835 00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:19,000 there's more access to the anus going underneath than there. 836 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:25,920 Is doing this like red wine? I just feel like I can get a 837 00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:27,920 better. I really like a clean bum, you 838 00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:29,080 know? And I went through a period 839 00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:33,520 where because I had kids, I had access to baby wipes more. 840 00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:35,400 So I was wiping and then his baby wiping. 841 00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:38,560 But then I clogged up the whole plumbing system and had to get a 842 00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:40,640 guy out to just, and he's like, there's a lot of baby wipes 843 00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:41,800 here. And I think fuck the kids, must 844 00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:43,200 have been flushing them without me knowing. 845 00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:46,240 And then you did that. But you. 846 00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:48,920 Can get flushable wet wipes. But they still aren't fully 847 00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:51,120 flushable. They don't melt down. 848 00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:52,840 That's fake news. They still get stuck in the 849 00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:54,120 pipes. And you know what happened Me 850 00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:56,520 one time too. Well, you should. 851 00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:58,120 You got to stop. You got to stop. 852 00:38:58,280 --> 00:38:59,560 I can't. So I was. 853 00:38:59,720 --> 00:39:01,920 I had to. Get another like because my my 854 00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:04,560 house plumbing is quite old system and it's 2 houses 855 00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:07,880 connected into the 1 and I get a guy out to just do we clear the 856 00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:11,680 pipes the release it and what happened is my neighbour put 857 00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:13,920 some stuff down toilet and he got out and we lifted the lid 858 00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:16,760 and he was like could. You watch this happen. 859 00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:18,880 Yeah, and he was cleaned out. But then what I had to say I. 860 00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:20,480 Could you why? Why did you watch it? 861 00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:22,320 Because. I was just curious to know where 862 00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:29,160 the like the the manhole was and stuff which too much but and he 863 00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:30,560 lifted it. I had to watch my neighbours 864 00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:33,880 actual poo just float down like and it was just like a sweet 865 00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:37,040 terracotta tube and it's just one me smear poo and I was like, 866 00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:39,600 you definitely fibre, yeah. Yeah, it's not. 867 00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:41,000 Good. And it was weird and I found a 868 00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:41,640 way of looking at. Her. 869 00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:43,440 I wouldn't like to look down a manhole cover like that. 870 00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:45,160 No, I wouldn't like that. I don't know. 871 00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:48,160 But then that's that's part of being shit about being old. 872 00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:50,640 You have to get people to look after you're plumbing the all 873 00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:53,320 time you have to do and again when you have a man out. 874 00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:57,040 Or or or man. Yeah, yeah, a man. 875 00:39:57,040 --> 00:40:00,360 Man, you could have a lady. Yeah, the punani ladies have 876 00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:02,880 punanis. But more often than not, ladies 877 00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:05,160 don't like like just pulling shit out of drains. 878 00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:07,440 Some do. Well, fair enough, But in this 879 00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:09,000 occasion, it was a man out. And you know what? 880 00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:10,600 If you have a man out to deal with like. 881 00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:12,960 Man, stuff in your house, you always feel like you have to 882 00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:14,680 hang about and be like, oh, I know where that hole is. 883 00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:15,960 No, I don't worry about that. No. 884 00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:18,640 And then I'm standing there not having a clue what he's doing. 885 00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:21,160 He's and I'm smelling always. That's horrible, but I have to 886 00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:23,640 pretend like an automat. Yes, because you look like a guy 887 00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:26,680 who knows the crack but. You don't, but I make a wild cup 888 00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:29,160 of tea so I can say you know what you're dealing with. 889 00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:30,560 All that Don't know. Yeah. 890 00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:32,880 But then the guy who does my trains, he comes out once a year 891 00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:34,880 just to, you know, catch up. Really. 892 00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:36,840 We had a mice again. A mouse. 893 00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:39,320 See, you live very much in mouse territory, don't you? 894 00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:42,200 There's a re rivers near you and there's really like. 895 00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:45,240 So we're going to have to just but. 896 00:40:45,240 --> 00:40:48,400 We many. One people go, well, if there's 897 00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:50,040 one, there's more. Not always true. 898 00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:54,240 Yeah, because what's happened is, you know yourself when you 899 00:40:54,240 --> 00:40:56,320 bring the when you've got the two kids in the car and you 900 00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:58,880 bring them into the house, front door is going to be open for a 901 00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:01,120 little while. Yeah, you know these little 902 00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:02,760 bastards are seeing that and go I want in. 903 00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:04,640 I don't want to tell you this, but have you ever seen the 904 00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:08,640 videos on YouTube of mice and rats going through plumbing 905 00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:11,080 systems and all? There's like an experiment set 906 00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:13,200 up to show how working together they could be. 907 00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:16,800 I've seen ratatouille. They can, but these guys can 908 00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:18,840 just get in up the toilet, up the plum and they can get. 909 00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:21,000 It's not just your door. They can get in anywhere and 910 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,440 they. Can tort the three bodies they. 911 00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:26,080 Can contort the bodies and then turn into like we flat like 912 00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:29,680 almost like furry dinner plates and just slide underneath and 913 00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:31,800 then they're in your house just eating your food pissing you 914 00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:33,160 off. You know I killed the mouse I 915 00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:34,800 scared at the death 1 so my house and said them. 916 00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:36,560 What to do? Watch you on the toilet. 917 00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:39,800 No, it's like I don't know how to get up here. 918 00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:42,680 His behaviour so. Unorthodox Why is he coming 919 00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:44,240 from? Underneath and where's his deck? 920 00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:45,920 I think, oh, it's on the board, don't worry. 921 00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:50,080 But I, I had gone to my, you know, my house and said, no, I 922 00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:53,920 had the, the wee roof hatch and I could hear the mouse screaming 923 00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:56,200 and for some reason screaming like, you know, screeching, just 924 00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:58,440 making mouse noises. No, no. 925 00:41:58,720 --> 00:42:00,520 No, Yeah, that's right. That's. 926 00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:04,520 What mouse do you? So I was like, right? 927 00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:07,360 And for some reason I was like, I want to fucking go up here and 928 00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:10,400 start this mouse. So I got myself psyched up 929 00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:13,680 because I mean, the mouse is tiny and I'm big and I shouldn't 930 00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:15,600 be as afraid of another. One tiny me big. 931 00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:17,520 But he's got germs. You know, mouse could kill me 932 00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:21,760 with germs. Why am I speaking like a mouse 933 00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:24,560 could kill me with germs? So I thought, right, I'm going 934 00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:27,200 to go up. So I have a stick to like open 935 00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:29,920 the roof and then the dot and I pulled the ladders down. 936 00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:32,440 I'd have a stick and I climbed up a bit and I could still hear 937 00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:35,240 it's got her and about and I got my stick and I just went up. 938 00:42:35,240 --> 00:42:37,800 Sorry. Bang was like, and I'd given it 939 00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:38,680 a heart. It just died. 940 00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:40,760 Just lay there and I did a wee shit and it died. 941 00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:44,040 And I said that's really great. And I felt terrible because it 942 00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:45,360 was just lying up there. Yeah. 943 00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:47,960 And I was like, fuck, is it dead or is it playing dead? 944 00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:49,160 But it was legitimate. What'd you do? 945 00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:52,760 I just put it in a wee bag and put it in the bin. 946 00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:55,840 See, I couldn't have done like first. 947 00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:58,960 We've had a moist twice, right? Not the same guy. 948 00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:02,080 No. The first time I didn't want to 949 00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:04,480 be in the house. Yeah, until it was taken care 950 00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:07,880 of, I couldn't. Like, honestly, like I'm not 951 00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:09,120 saying enough for comedic effect. 952 00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:11,560 I did not want to be in the house until I heard the most was 953 00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:12,200 gone. Yeah. 954 00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:14,760 And I'd love to be like protective and all that kind of 955 00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:15,960 thing. Of mice. 956 00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:18,680 No, of my family. Great mouse protector. 957 00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:24,200 I look like a guy who'd be a most. 958 00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:25,520 Protector. Right. 959 00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:27,840 But I was like, I don't want to be here. 960 00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:32,120 We got the most the second time I heard the most in this House. 961 00:43:32,920 --> 00:43:35,200 I was a lot more talking to Doctor Seuss. 962 00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:39,160 I was a lot more laid back. I, I didn't like it at all. 963 00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:41,720 I hated it. But I I if I'd have seen him 964 00:43:41,720 --> 00:43:44,720 most the first time, I'd have ran the opposite direction This 965 00:43:44,720 --> 00:43:46,880 time. I'd have ran for the most if I 966 00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:48,360 saw. But then just scream at it and 967 00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:49,240 give it a heart attack. Kill it. 968 00:43:49,240 --> 00:43:52,200 Now you'll know that you go. There's a difference in you 969 00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:53,760 running towards someone. Doing that, I didn't run. 970 00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:55,640 I'd pop my head up a tunnel and start buying a stack. 971 00:43:57,680 --> 00:43:59,080 But we got him, you know? Yeah. 972 00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:01,240 How did you get them though? Because there's I have a mice 973 00:44:01,240 --> 00:44:03,160 experiences. Throughout, I mean the railway 974 00:44:03,160 --> 00:44:05,160 or. To be honest, because there are 975 00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:07,760 different ways now everyone tries to be more like fucked. 976 00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:11,760 Him. Because we've had mice in my 977 00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:15,400 house growing up and there's, I remember there's a lot of rice. 978 00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:16,600 Pardon. Like as lodges. 979 00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,520 Just as lodgers, just because times are tough, you know. 980 00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:23,520 So there was one time we got it, like with this, we like trick 981 00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:24,840 things. So it goes in and goes, oh, 982 00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:25,760 there's a bit of cheese in there. 983 00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:28,280 But here's the thing, they don't really love cheese. 984 00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:30,720 That's just cartoons. Stick away Mars Bar in there. 985 00:44:30,720 --> 00:44:34,440 The bastards go berserk. So this way mice goes, I smell 986 00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:36,280 Marsh Barb, he goes trapped like that. 987 00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:37,960 And then what we did, we just went up the window. 988 00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:39,440 But what do you mean trapped? Just trapped. 989 00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:41,040 Just in it. It's not dead, just trapped. 990 00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:42,720 In a what? Like enemy moist trap. 991 00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:44,400 It's just, it's like a thing. It's like this. 992 00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:46,520 It's like that shape. So when he walks up, the weight 993 00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:48,760 tips it and the lid closes. And he's trap, yeah. 994 00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:50,200 So he did that. He got the Marsh bar. 995 00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:52,280 We took him to Winnie Hell and went to get the marsh and. 996 00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:53,960 Do that amount free. Just fucked him in someone's 997 00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:56,440 house in this woman's garden. That was fine. 998 00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:58,760 But then my dad was like, I've had enough of these bastards. 999 00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:02,400 And he got like proper like 1970s mouse traps, You know, the 1000 00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:04,080 ones that if you put your fingers in, they're gone. 1001 00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:06,960 And he let a few of these ones out and put the marsh bars on 1002 00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:08,400 because the wee bastards over marsh bar. 1003 00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:11,760 And he left one out and he goes, I've got one, do you want to 1004 00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:13,640 see? I was like, yeah, sure, let's go 1005 00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:15,040 and see. What age have you been roughly? 1006 00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:20,120 12 And I went in and it had got the mouse but not properly. 1007 00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:23,640 So it had like got it between its wee legs and its nose, so 1008 00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:26,000 its nose and legs were squished, but its tail and all still going 1009 00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,600 and there's blood everywhere. And he goes, I don't fuck with 1010 00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:30,600 me and all, and I was like, are you threat? 1011 00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:32,760 Like what are you saying if I miss you, you're going to break 1012 00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:34,400 my fucking arms and neck like I don't know. 1013 00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:36,160 And he goes, ah, yeah, fucking that's it. 1014 00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:37,560 And they go, he's not dead, what are you going to do? 1015 00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:38,680 And he goes, oh, I know what I'll do. 1016 00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:41,240 And you know what he did? He got another mouse trap so you 1017 00:45:41,240 --> 00:45:43,360 got another one and he put it on top of it. 1018 00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:45,360 I thought he's just going to like put like his back in and 1019 00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:48,040 slammer, but he put the other mouse trap on top of them like 1020 00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:50,600 so like to make a wedge and he's like you got it, but do it 1021 00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:52,360 humanely. You got to kill him as quick as 1022 00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:55,040 possible. She took a hammer and it didn't 1023 00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:58,320 kill it humanely at all. It was fucking I really just hit 1024 00:45:58,320 --> 00:45:59,480 it with a hammer. It would have killed it. 1025 00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:01,920 All he did is probably broke all the bones in the body and he 1026 00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:04,400 must have hit this mice about three times with me watching as 1027 00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:07,200 a lesson to be a man. I was like, cheers dad, I'm 1028 00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:09,720 obviously traumatised. And then what he did, he said go 1029 00:46:09,720 --> 00:46:11,280 and get a Tesco bag and bucket in the bin. 1030 00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:13,080 I was like, that was sticking with me at my dad. 1031 00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:18,320 Yeah, I mean, I'd love to say it was a humane trouble. 1032 00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:23,080 No, but then I, I. Was very like, say I watch like 1033 00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:26,560 people on TV and they've been like, you know, displaced 1034 00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:31,160 because of a war or whatever. I've I watch out and I'm like, 1035 00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:34,600 oh man, you know, let's get these guys somewhere to be. 1036 00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:37,520 Let's get these guys to see if they, you know, they don't want 1037 00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:39,920 to be here. Let's find something for them 1038 00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:43,360 and let my heart goes out. There was a moist in our house 1039 00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:45,440 that obviously was just there by mistake and didn't want to be 1040 00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:46,560 there and he was scared and stuff. 1041 00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:50,640 I remember ringing a guy and being like they will get him. 1042 00:46:51,720 --> 00:46:55,600 Threw everything out. You know, I was like the money's 1043 00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:58,920 no object. Get this guy and he got him. 1044 00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:02,160 And I would say we didn't use a Marsh bar. 1045 00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:07,680 We used peanut butter and we got now I heard, remember you were a 1046 00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:10,160 bad boy when you were 1314. You're in a little bit of 1047 00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:12,040 trouble. Your dad just have the Marsh 1048 00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:16,720 bar. But I mean, I would fall for it 1049 00:47:16,720 --> 00:47:19,360 every time. Marsh Bar, you know, see if it's 1050 00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:23,280 a Marsh Bar ice cream, kill me. They are unbelievable. 1051 00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:26,320 The nicest. But like mice just being around, 1052 00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:27,520 I think you kind of got to accept. 1053 00:47:27,520 --> 00:47:31,760 But then see, sometimes too, I think mice to me are in the same 1054 00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:36,040 category of like quicksand. I mean, they're things that 1055 00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:40,360 people are too afraid of that they're not that generally you. 1056 00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:41,600 People are too afraid of quicksand. 1057 00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:44,400 Yeah, because in your day-to-day life you're not getting trapped 1058 00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:45,800 in quicksand. Another thing I used to be 1059 00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:47,520 terrified of, which is ridiculous. 1060 00:47:47,720 --> 00:47:49,560 Cannibals with big pots in the jungle. 1061 00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:51,760 Yeah, I mean, I used to be like, oh, I've got to watch from 1062 00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:52,920 going. These cannibals are going to 1063 00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:54,320 take me. And I mean, you could feed a 1064 00:47:54,320 --> 00:47:56,360 tribe with me. Are you going to me? 1065 00:47:56,720 --> 00:47:58,600 And I was like, well, I don't want to go anywhere near any 1066 00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:00,320 forests in case those. Cannibals all anymore. 1067 00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:02,600 You know exactly. I mean, no, I'm not doing 1068 00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:05,080 nothing, but no way you're. Walking around Crawford Park. 1069 00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:07,840 Like, you know, the guys with bones between their nose and 1070 00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:09,880 yeah, I know. And like, mice are the same 1071 00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:13,120 because there are a problem, but they're not like terror, like, 1072 00:48:13,120 --> 00:48:15,120 you know, when people are terrified of them saying not 1073 00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:17,360 really. And a lot of time they will just 1074 00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:21,520 go, go again, you know, go away. Like I have a more of an issue 1075 00:48:21,520 --> 00:48:26,000 with cats than I have with mice. See, cats have become my 1076 00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:28,840 friendly. We we have a cat next door that 1077 00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:32,440 I brought into the house for a day just to like walk around in 1078 00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:34,880 case any potential mice would think you know, mice would look 1079 00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:39,640 in our windows thing looks like. You're not just like a nature 1080 00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:41,120 boy. You're not just going out being 1081 00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:50,320 like. No, I want to talk about you 1082 00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:56,840 were talking about quicksand is one of the things we bonded over 1083 00:48:56,840 --> 00:49:01,440 the most our love of the prank that Egyptian television played 1084 00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:04,120 on professional football. Or is it Ramadan still be? 1085 00:49:04,240 --> 00:49:08,040 Oh Ramadan. So that was without a doubt one 1086 00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:12,360 of the sighest but also bad. Like pranks people are like no 1087 00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:14,200 pranks are shit, they're the lowest form of comp. 1088 00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:15,920 No pranks. Pranks done well, there's 1089 00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:17,840 nothing funnier. Pranks are 10 out of 10. 1090 00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:19,800 How people react this? I don't know if you're able to 1091 00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:24,040 like link this or something. Are you able to play something 1092 00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:25,880 for us? Because this is the best. 1093 00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:33,720 It's the guys called Sobi SOBHI. He used to play for Stoke and 1094 00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:37,680 he's an Egyptian international footballer and he was like, so 1095 00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:41,960 if you write Sobi, HI, prank quicksand. 1096 00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:45,360 But I mean, you know what? Here's the thing about a prank. 1097 00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:48,120 See, if a prank is done and it's there's a wee bit of jeopardy, 1098 00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:51,280 Yeah, it's good. But see, if you genuinely think 1099 00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:55,120 you're going to die, Yeah, that's completely obscene. 1100 00:49:55,240 --> 00:49:57,160 So like, pranks are like, oh, you've been free. 1101 00:49:57,280 --> 00:50:00,240 You know, this guy, Mike, this guy's car fell into a lake and 1102 00:50:00,240 --> 00:50:02,280 he's like, oh, fuck sake. And then it's not really his 1103 00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:03,480 car. Jeremy Beetle comes into Good 1104 00:50:03,480 --> 00:50:04,560 luck. By the way, see, whenever we're 1105 00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:06,320 talking about cars, falling lake, it's this thing I do 1106 00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:08,800 because I live quite near sea. I keep a couple of Stanley 1107 00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:10,400 knives in each of my glove boxes. 1108 00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:12,800 We life hack for you in case I ever get in the water and you 1109 00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:15,800 cut sea seat belts out. But why was the seat belt not 1110 00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:17,600 just open? Sometimes underwater it might 1111 00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:18,600 malfunction, you know what I mean? 1112 00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:19,560 That's. How do you see a lot of? 1113 00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:22,120 Casualty on the TV and I've seen a lot of EastEnders. 1114 00:50:22,160 --> 00:50:26,640 Genuine question, in a situation like that, how do you get out? 1115 00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:31,160 Your car goes in the water goes underwater, How do you open 1116 00:50:31,640 --> 00:50:33,560 doors or windows? Is the pressure or not? 1117 00:50:33,760 --> 00:50:36,560 Yeah, what you should also do is keep we Coffee Hammer in there. 1118 00:50:38,080 --> 00:50:39,000 You know that will break the window. 1119 00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:42,720 Yeah, Keep we. Because that that prank, that's 1120 00:50:42,720 --> 00:50:46,480 just a life hack for people. Just so the background of this 1121 00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:50,920 is Sobe is an Egyptian international footballer, and 1122 00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:54,800 there's this prankster guy in Egypt, this wacky prankster. 1123 00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:57,800 And what he does for pranks is make you think that you're going 1124 00:50:57,800 --> 00:51:00,440 to die. Yes, in the worst way possible. 1125 00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:03,800 Yeah. So they've told Sobe that he's 1126 00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:07,120 doing like some TV shoot and they want to take him into the 1127 00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:10,320 desert to fill him something. I mean, look, Ram is that's what 1128 00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:11,800 the guy look. At Ram is his face. 1129 00:51:11,800 --> 00:51:15,080 He's such a prankster. He's got those steampunk goggles 1130 00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:18,400 on. Right, so here's so Sobie is in 1131 00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:21,720 a buggy going across the desert. Look around like what do you 1132 00:51:21,720 --> 00:51:23,120 miss this RAM? There's probably going why is 1133 00:51:23,120 --> 00:51:24,680 RAM has got that weird outfit on? 1134 00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:27,760 Sorry, Sobie. Sobie's car is going down. 1135 00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:30,000 The car he's in? They're like, how frightened 1136 00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:30,760 Sobie is. They're like. 1137 00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:33,800 On those stuck in quicksand right, so this would be this is 1138 00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:37,280 a terrible prank as is right? So him and his team are getting 1139 00:51:37,320 --> 00:51:40,680 out now Ramez has an outfit on. You're going to see what he does 1140 00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:43,320 with that in a second now. So he's a young guy. 1141 00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:45,480 Look, look like the guy. With him is drowning. 1142 00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:47,200 He thinks this guy's dying in quicksand. 1143 00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:48,840 He thinks this cameraman take away he's. 1144 00:51:49,240 --> 00:51:51,080 Gone. So he's like, I've just watched 1145 00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:54,280 the guy die. Everybody else is in on it, 1146 00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:56,200 right? So the car is going down, 1147 00:51:56,720 --> 00:51:58,800 they're trying to climb up on top of the car, everyone else. 1148 00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:00,800 Is going in the car. Right. 1149 00:52:00,880 --> 00:52:04,120 So the Ram is just loving life. So they're trying to like, get 1150 00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:05,880 him out now. What's right now? 1151 00:52:06,520 --> 00:52:09,760 What's Ram is doing? Ram is is getting some 1152 00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:12,760 prosthetics done. So, so, so be at this point is a 1153 00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:15,320 young man who thinks he's going to die. 1154 00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:18,280 Yeah, today. So this is like the Egyptian 1155 00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:21,680 version of punk, I guess. So you're going what's going on 1156 00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:22,800 here? So. 1157 00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:25,000 So be thinks he's stranded and they can't move. 1158 00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:32,040 And at this point he thinks a giant Komodo dragon is walking 1159 00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:34,640 out of The Cave. But that's RAM is so he thinks 1160 00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:37,080 they're stranded and now this dragon is coming. 1161 00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:39,240 To eat him. So if he doesn't drive in the 1162 00:52:39,240 --> 00:52:41,160 quicksand, he's going to eaten by a Komodo dragon. 1163 00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:43,440 Can I just point out you said Komodo dragon. 1164 00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:44,800 All right, that's just you a week ago. 1165 00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:48,080 But look at him. He is petrified. 1166 00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:49,640 Yeah, he thinks he's going to die like. 1167 00:52:50,400 --> 00:52:55,400 When we'll see what my RAM is. So Ram is is fast approaching 1168 00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:57,880 him. Yeah, he thinks he's dying. 1169 00:52:58,080 --> 00:53:01,440 Yeah. Like what part of this is a 1170 00:53:01,440 --> 00:53:05,240 prank? The guy thinks he's dying. 1171 00:53:05,560 --> 00:53:08,880 Can you imagine if, if he was at Stoke at the time and Poole saw 1172 00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:13,080 this, he'd be so cross? So he thinks this Komodo dragon 1173 00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:14,880 is going to eat him like she's going down. 1174 00:53:14,920 --> 00:53:16,400 Look. And that's his actual clothes 1175 00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:21,960 being covered in the sand. This is where Ram is stands up. 1176 00:53:23,320 --> 00:53:26,640 It was a prank, mate. You don't gotcha, you're on TV 1177 00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:31,000 and so we absolutely loses. And what wasn't on that clip is 1178 00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:35,280 he absolutely loses his mind as you would yes, like that's not a 1179 00:53:35,280 --> 00:53:36,480 prank. No. 1180 00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:40,280 Like you say, like a prank is like Dave, you've got a parking 1181 00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:42,560 ticket here and you get down to the car park and there's no 1182 00:53:42,560 --> 00:53:43,120 parking. Yeah. 1183 00:53:44,240 --> 00:53:46,560 But no, thinking you're not only are you going to die? 1184 00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:48,600 Yeah, but you've watched two people die. 1185 00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:50,280 You think your wife is going to die? 1186 00:53:50,320 --> 00:53:52,000 You're. Dying in the worst way. 1187 00:53:52,080 --> 00:53:54,760 You're dying in quicksand and a dragon as you're about to go 1188 00:53:54,760 --> 00:53:56,960 down is going to eat your head. I actually in that scenario 1189 00:53:56,960 --> 00:53:59,000 would be relieved, I think to be eaten by a dragon. 1190 00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:02,040 I think the thought of like, suffocate, not drowning on 1191 00:54:02,080 --> 00:54:04,080 inside. Yeah, Oh my God, that's the 1192 00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:05,440 worst off. You'd rather get eaten by 1193 00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:07,280 dragon. Yeah, ragged, eaten by a dragon. 1194 00:54:07,320 --> 00:54:08,800 And that's kind of a cool way to go, isn't it? 1195 00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:10,840 Like an eaten by a drag? Like you could kill by a dragon. 1196 00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:12,600 Yeah, it's pretty. It is pretty cool. 1197 00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:15,120 You wouldn't say Komodo dragon, you know, you lead that better. 1198 00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:17,320 You just say dragon. Yeah, he's eaten by a dragon. 1199 00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:20,680 Yeah, but that was that was unbelievable. 1200 00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:22,520 What a prank. I love a good prank, but that's 1201 00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:23,160 up there. Someone. 1202 00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:26,600 Do we think Dragons are Dragons? Never existed, right? 1203 00:54:27,240 --> 00:54:31,080 No. You were waiting for them to be 1204 00:54:31,080 --> 00:54:33,520 like, well, maybe, yeah, you know, somewhere. 1205 00:54:33,720 --> 00:54:38,480 If you could, if you could bring an endangered animal back from 1206 00:54:38,480 --> 00:54:44,560 like extinct instinct because they're all endangered an. 1207 00:54:44,560 --> 00:54:46,400 Extinct animal? Do you have one in mind that you 1208 00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:47,880 bring back? Like they're trying to bring 1209 00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:49,200 them all back. They're trying to bring back 1210 00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:52,600 sabretooth tigers, but I don't know, like, for what purpose? 1211 00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:54,880 Does anybody ever seen Jurassic Park? 1212 00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:56,280 Yeah. It's not worth it. 1213 00:54:56,280 --> 00:54:57,840 No, don't bring a Sabre tooth time. 1214 00:54:57,840 --> 00:54:59,920 There's no need. Like if you're bringing that one 1215 00:54:59,920 --> 00:55:02,720 from that time, you bring a we friendly Willie Mammoth. 1216 00:55:02,720 --> 00:55:05,200 But then those motherfuckers have those tusks, so you don't 1217 00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:06,440 know. Imagine them just kicking around 1218 00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:07,760 Shaftesbury Square. It'd be a problem that. 1219 00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:10,920 'D be a nightmare. Unlike, I don't know, like his, 1220 00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:14,360 like, you know, wolves used to roam around Ireland. 1221 00:55:14,800 --> 00:55:17,080 That's another thing I went Have you ever been to Wild Ireland? 1222 00:55:17,640 --> 00:55:20,000 It's a place just in Donegal where they're like it's 1223 00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:21,560 conservation. I think it was yeah. 1224 00:55:21,560 --> 00:55:24,840 So they have they bring the animals that were indigenous to 1225 00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:26,880 Ireland and they have them there. 1226 00:55:26,880 --> 00:55:31,080 So like the wolves of bears, snakes, not on Oakshares party 1227 00:55:31,080 --> 00:55:34,200 dealt with that. But they're they're basically 1228 00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:36,200 their their their message. No guilty. 1229 00:55:36,440 --> 00:55:41,280 Their message was like, our goal here is to try and bring these 1230 00:55:41,280 --> 00:55:43,920 animals that used to be indigenous here, and then 1231 00:55:43,920 --> 00:55:46,640 eventually we'll just let them out. 1232 00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:48,800 That's right. And then the people who live by, 1233 00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:50,720 they're like, hold on a second, that's not a great idea. 1234 00:55:50,840 --> 00:55:51,880 And you're like, what do you mean goes? 1235 00:55:51,880 --> 00:55:53,720 And around you're just going to release a bear. 1236 00:55:53,720 --> 00:55:55,640 And they're like, well, they're originally here. 1237 00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:58,120 And it's like, no, don't. Yeah, it's not, it's not a good. 1238 00:55:58,240 --> 00:56:00,920 No system, but it was a nice place to visit. 1239 00:56:00,920 --> 00:56:02,760 But for sure don't just release them into the. 1240 00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:04,080 So what have you been inside? Yeah. 1241 00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:05,680 So what do they have? Like Wolf? 1242 00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:07,640 How about this? You tell me what they have. 1243 00:56:07,640 --> 00:56:09,720 Not a year now. Wolf. 1244 00:56:09,880 --> 00:56:13,160 Yes, by the way, wolves. Bigger than you think. 1245 00:56:13,480 --> 00:56:16,480 Oh, yeah, Yeah. Big boys like then wolves are 1246 00:56:16,480 --> 00:56:19,400 fucking problematic because I'm a dog guy so I'd say a wolf and 1247 00:56:19,400 --> 00:56:21,880 be like give me 5 minutes for them and I'll be round Robin. 1248 00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:23,720 It's tummy. Know what about? 1249 00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:26,040 Bears. Yes, they're bears. 1250 00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:27,280 Being serious. Bears, Yeah. 1251 00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:29,840 Was there bears in Ireland? Yeah, back in the day, that's 1252 00:56:29,840 --> 00:56:30,920 why. Yeah, yeah. 1253 00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:32,080 Bucket. Not recently, No. 1254 00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:32,880 Not. Recently, no. 1255 00:56:33,720 --> 00:56:35,080 Dan, can you bring up Wild Ireland? 1256 00:56:35,080 --> 00:56:37,280 And let's have a look at what. They well, this is what we 1257 00:56:37,280 --> 00:56:38,800 should do. We should go there someday as a 1258 00:56:38,800 --> 00:56:40,720 Patreon exclusive and just. Try to. 1259 00:56:41,480 --> 00:56:46,880 Release the animals, see if that's our prank so. 1260 00:56:46,880 --> 00:56:48,560 Let's see what they have. They have a wild Arctic. 1261 00:56:48,720 --> 00:56:50,440 Oh, look at that wolf. That is lovely. 1262 00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:53,280 Yeah, and they've got coach. I mean, I feel like. 1263 00:56:54,160 --> 00:56:55,600 They're not like, have you ever seen any film? 1264 00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:57,440 The Witch? It's a horror film or should go 1265 00:56:57,440 --> 00:56:58,520 down in the whole way through it. 1266 00:56:58,520 --> 00:57:00,040 That's the devil. Apparently it's called Black 1267 00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:03,240 Phillip. It looks like that about us. 1268 00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:07,400 They have links. Remember there was always big 1269 00:57:07,400 --> 00:57:09,280 cat segments. Was not like a real late 90s 1270 00:57:09,280 --> 00:57:11,080 yes. Oh, there's a big cat. 1271 00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:13,640 There's a there's a leopard scene in this field and there 1272 00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:16,400 never was. So you write that bears. 1273 00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:19,360 Yeah, they've got bears. I feel like they have bears and 1274 00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:21,240 wolves and that's what they really put up front on the 1275 00:57:21,240 --> 00:57:22,040 website. Here, You know what? 1276 00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:23,960 Like seeing the WE Gift shop. That's where they're making 1277 00:57:23,960 --> 00:57:26,560 their dough off the cuddly toys of the bears and the wolves. 1278 00:57:26,800 --> 00:57:30,640 They watch monkeys white board. Yeah, I do want to say the 1279 00:57:30,640 --> 00:57:32,680 rescue monkeys. I don't know how indigenous they 1280 00:57:32,680 --> 00:57:36,000 are, Ireland. Yeah, potbelly pigs. 1281 00:57:36,080 --> 00:57:37,760 Like there must be, there must be some place. 1282 00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:40,680 I bet you you know a big farmer somewhere that's in the middle 1283 00:57:40,680 --> 00:57:44,240 of flipping like Tipperary or something has like a random big 1284 00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:47,840 animal. Calvin who's who's, you know, 1285 00:57:48,040 --> 00:57:50,560 accompanied me on the tour taking photos and you know 1286 00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:52,640 Calvin. Yes, Calvin Creek, he knows a 1287 00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:56,160 guy who has a tiger lives near him. 1288 00:57:56,520 --> 00:57:59,040 Like just like in Ballymoney, I want to say. 1289 00:57:59,040 --> 00:58:00,680 But you know what? Here's the thing too about that 1290 00:58:00,840 --> 00:58:03,640 you never see with someone like in Ballymoney has a tiger. 1291 00:58:03,880 --> 00:58:07,400 You're not seeing a regal, well kept, thick furred condition 1292 00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:09,240 tiger. It's always a, it looks like 1293 00:58:09,240 --> 00:58:12,160 scar from The Lion King. Yeah, it's only the crepitly 1294 00:58:12,160 --> 00:58:14,280 thing flees and you're like, Oh no, you should probably just 1295 00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:16,760 give that back, Africa. Do you think if you had that 1296 00:58:17,120 --> 00:58:21,600 you'd be like tempted to just? Yeah, I mean, it would 1297 00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:22,880 definitely be funny. Yeah. 1298 00:58:22,920 --> 00:58:25,040 You imagine coming be one of those pranks. 1299 00:58:25,760 --> 00:58:27,200 Imagine coming here to work for the day. 1300 00:58:27,360 --> 00:58:28,920 Can I bring my pet? Yeah, no problem. 1301 00:58:29,360 --> 00:58:32,280 Have you seen that video of the It's like viral video of like 1302 00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:34,920 all these like big Middle Eastern guys that all look like 1303 00:58:34,920 --> 00:58:37,000 you and they're in a swimming pool and like what looks like 1304 00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:40,760 Dubai or somewhere a Qatar and then this guy just like for the 1305 00:58:40,800 --> 00:58:42,240 less a tiger in. This big white. 1306 00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:42,920 Tiger. Yeah. 1307 00:58:43,120 --> 00:58:45,160 And a guy gets out, like, I imagine you get out of the pool, 1308 00:58:45,760 --> 00:58:48,200 he like, sort of like, puts his hand out and then, like, rolls 1309 00:58:48,200 --> 00:58:48,880 out of the pool. Yeah. 1310 00:58:48,920 --> 00:58:49,480 Yeah, yeah. Oh. 1311 00:58:49,640 --> 00:58:51,720 I used to do that in the gym. I used to go to, you know, the 1312 00:58:51,720 --> 00:58:53,840 one up in Hollywood there where there's a hot tub. 1313 00:58:53,840 --> 00:58:57,280 And my party trick was to be able to go from the hot tub, the 1314 00:58:57,280 --> 00:59:00,600 swimming pool, one motion like Shamu, very skillful. 1315 00:59:00,600 --> 00:59:02,600 I just switch out and slide in great. 1316 00:59:02,680 --> 00:59:05,120 And then watch Blackfish in. That ruined Shamu for me. 1317 00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:07,480 Yeah, fuck sake. Yeah, but you could still do 1318 00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:09,720 that as a tribute to. Yes, I'm sure he'd love that. 1319 00:59:09,720 --> 00:59:11,560 True. Then I that's another thing, 1320 00:59:11,560 --> 00:59:14,800 they just start dropping the Shamu's, not just the one 1321 00:59:14,800 --> 00:59:17,720 animal, you know, there's many Shamu's. 1322 00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:19,040 They just give it your shamu mate. 1323 00:59:19,040 --> 00:59:21,000 It's like the Pope. Or the sure babes. 1324 00:59:21,160 --> 00:59:24,120 Yeah, yeah, you're, you are, Shamu. 1325 00:59:24,120 --> 00:59:25,360 Take the Pope or the sugar. Babes. 1326 00:59:25,360 --> 00:59:26,400 Yeah, both similar. Things. 1327 00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:29,800 What would you rather be? Probably. 1328 00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:33,760 The Pope. I think I could get away with 1329 00:59:33,760 --> 00:59:36,480 doing whatever you want more than if you're a sugar babe, you 1330 00:59:36,480 --> 00:59:39,240 know, like not if you're a sugar babe, you might have some 1331 00:59:39,240 --> 00:59:40,800 financial constraints, you know what I mean? 1332 00:59:41,120 --> 00:59:44,080 But if you're the. Yeah, if you're sorry, would you 1333 00:59:44,080 --> 00:59:46,920 rather be the Pope, a sugar babe at the peak sugar babes, or a 1334 00:59:46,920 --> 00:59:47,640 sugar babe? No. 1335 00:59:47,880 --> 00:59:50,040 I'd still be the Pope because I think, right, you're the Pope. 1336 00:59:50,440 --> 00:59:52,440 I think if you're the Pope, Par would go to your head. 1337 00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:56,240 You'd be really good. 4000 patrons. 1338 00:59:57,040 --> 00:59:59,720 Yeah, imagine you're the Pope, but anything you want, you be 1339 00:59:59,720 --> 01:00:01,880 like, I need this. You would get it, you know, be 1340 01:00:01,880 --> 01:00:03,560 like, I know, but then you'd be like Pope. 1341 01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:05,600 Yeah, it's not me. It's God wants. 1342 01:00:05,600 --> 01:00:08,680 You're basically God on earth. You know, I mean, it'd be hard 1343 01:00:08,680 --> 01:00:11,080 to beat being the Pope. Can I get the latest Dre beat? 1344 01:00:11,560 --> 01:00:12,360 Yeah. Do you need them? 1345 01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:14,280 Because then and then they're like, oh, listen, you have to 1346 01:00:14,280 --> 01:00:16,160 behave a certain way. If you're the Pope, you there's 1347 01:00:16,160 --> 01:00:18,720 certain rules you have to do. And then all Cardinal Ratzinger 1348 01:00:18,720 --> 01:00:21,520 is like, Nah, I'm checking out. I've got dementia by and like, 1349 01:00:21,520 --> 01:00:22,520 well, that's not the popes rules. 1350 01:00:22,520 --> 01:00:25,120 And he was like. Is he the guy that, like, called 1351 01:00:25,120 --> 01:00:26,320 it a day? He's like, yeah, folks, I'm 1352 01:00:26,320 --> 01:00:27,880 heading on here. What I loved about that you have 1353 01:00:27,880 --> 01:00:30,800 to be a Pope till you die. Yeah, well, until he was like, 1354 01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:33,160 not because I think what happened, he was like mentally I 1355 01:00:33,160 --> 01:00:35,440 think diminishing and they're like, oh, we can't have. 1356 01:00:35,440 --> 01:00:36,840 Like a tiger in a garden of ball of money. 1357 01:00:36,840 --> 01:00:39,680 Correct, and they're like you can't be having you making Pope 1358 01:00:39,680 --> 01:00:41,720 decisions when you're boogle your life, you know. 1359 01:00:41,720 --> 01:00:43,000 So they're like, I'll tell you what you do. 1360 01:00:43,360 --> 01:00:44,840 You get on that. I was like the end of The 1361 01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:46,920 Apprentice or something or succession get in that 1362 01:00:46,920 --> 01:00:48,240 helicopter and he just disappeared. 1363 01:00:48,240 --> 01:00:49,400 No one knows where he went right? 1364 01:00:49,960 --> 01:00:52,120 And off he went out Pope was he Benedict. 1365 01:00:52,400 --> 01:00:56,040 That was he disappeared. One of my favourite pieces of 1366 01:00:56,040 --> 01:00:58,640 music. Carl Jenkins, Benedictus. 1367 01:00:59,200 --> 01:01:00,480 Nice. I thought you want to say Pope 1368 01:01:00,480 --> 01:01:02,760 Benedict's just been working on some side projects since he 1369 01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:05,720 retired. I'm an awful dance, all of them, 1370 01:01:06,760 --> 01:01:09,280 but I like Pope. Francis, he's going the other 1371 01:01:09,280 --> 01:01:11,600 way now, too, like he's trying to be too much of my life. 1372 01:01:11,600 --> 01:01:12,320 To be what? Prod? 1373 01:01:13,640 --> 01:01:15,000 That would be the other. Way. 1374 01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:17,840 But he's like, I don't want to wear a golden necklace. 1375 01:01:17,840 --> 01:01:20,080 I want to be made of wood because gold's too expensive. 1376 01:01:20,640 --> 01:01:23,680 You know, where's Ratzinger or Benedict's, like, you know, 1377 01:01:23,840 --> 01:01:25,320 bring me out. Give me a Louis Vuitton. 1378 01:01:25,320 --> 01:01:27,320 Like, you know, maybe ball. Yeah. 1379 01:01:27,400 --> 01:01:29,800 So I think I'll be like, there's a fellow might, isn't there? 1380 01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:31,400 The 2 Popes? I like the watch. 1381 01:01:31,600 --> 01:01:34,000 It looks quite good. Can I tell you something in when 1382 01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:37,040 I was in Lai am near where we were staying, there was this 1383 01:01:37,040 --> 01:01:39,960 like jewellery shop and it's just London jeweller. 1384 01:01:40,520 --> 01:01:43,280 And now I was like, oh, you want to see their stuff? 1385 01:01:43,680 --> 01:01:46,440 And I went in and I tried on a chain and then bought it. 1386 01:01:46,920 --> 01:01:50,720 How much can you say? It was like $150.00, but it was 1387 01:01:50,720 --> 01:01:54,480 a wee silver chain and I tried it on because in my head it was 1388 01:01:54,480 --> 01:01:57,680 like, I think I'd shoot a chain and I just couldn't do it. 1389 01:01:58,000 --> 01:02:02,280 I feel the chain would be like marijuana is the other drugs, 1390 01:02:02,520 --> 01:02:04,000 you know, you get a chain the next thing. 1391 01:02:04,000 --> 01:02:06,240 It's a gateway. Yeah, it's a gateway jewellery. 1392 01:02:06,240 --> 01:02:08,560 It's gateway jewellery. You'd start with a chain and 1393 01:02:08,560 --> 01:02:10,520 next thing you have a ring. It wasn't your wedding ring in a 1394 01:02:10,520 --> 01:02:11,880 way. You get the wee earrings and 1395 01:02:11,880 --> 01:02:13,640 all, and then you get that the eyebrow. 1396 01:02:13,640 --> 01:02:15,920 Pierce And then it'd be like jerseys from 300. 1397 01:02:15,920 --> 01:02:18,640 I'd have like the nose ring connected to the earrings 1398 01:02:18,760 --> 01:02:20,960 connected to a nipple ring connected to a Prince Albert. 1399 01:02:21,120 --> 01:02:25,000 Be like a puppet. I mean, that's maybe what I need 1400 01:02:25,000 --> 01:02:26,480 to do. I need to get all those 1401 01:02:26,480 --> 01:02:27,880 piercings. And then if I have the nipples 1402 01:02:27,880 --> 01:02:30,200 and the nose Pierce and the deck Pierce, if I'm pissing, I can 1403 01:02:30,200 --> 01:02:32,960 just lift this up. I would have to set the deck in 1404 01:02:32,960 --> 01:02:36,440 the rim. Make a lot of sense. 1405 01:02:38,120 --> 01:02:40,400 Will you ever get a piercing? Actually, even a big midlife 1406 01:02:40,400 --> 01:02:43,240 crisis getting stud. I would, I mean I wish, but not 1407 01:02:43,240 --> 01:02:46,600 a piercing. Maybe if we're to get anywhere 1408 01:02:46,600 --> 01:02:48,120 pierced. I've got my nipples pierced just 1409 01:02:48,120 --> 01:02:50,200 because that's funny isn't it? Like it's a weird. 1410 01:02:50,200 --> 01:02:53,440 Thing yeah, it's a it's a wacky prank, but on my nipple pierced 1411 01:02:53,440 --> 01:02:54,400 no one sees. But I don't. 1412 01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:55,920 I don't think I'll get in pierced. 1413 01:02:56,200 --> 01:02:57,440 I don't. Would you get in pierced? 1414 01:02:57,440 --> 01:03:00,640 Never, No. Well, I pierced my I Pierce my 1415 01:03:00,640 --> 01:03:02,720 ear for a fancy dress party once. 1416 01:03:03,480 --> 01:03:05,720 I remember what I can get. Clip on some magnetics you know. 1417 01:03:05,800 --> 01:03:09,200 I know, but I had a few drinks and I got my cousin Connor to 1418 01:03:09,200 --> 01:03:13,480 put a needle through my ear and then put nearing in, put up two 1419 01:03:13,480 --> 01:03:16,200 ice cubes on either side of it for like 10 minutes, totally 1420 01:03:16,200 --> 01:03:17,520 numb. Did it hurt? 1421 01:03:18,360 --> 01:03:19,840 No, probably no. All right, OK. 1422 01:03:20,280 --> 01:03:21,280 And then took it like the next day. 1423 01:03:21,280 --> 01:03:23,320 Do you have a? Pierced anything boys, firstly. 1424 01:03:23,640 --> 01:03:25,800 I could see down that you probably had your eyebrow Pierce 1425 01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:26,920 back in the day, did you? No, never. 1426 01:03:26,920 --> 01:03:28,080 I don't have the eyebrow pierced, remember? 1427 01:03:28,960 --> 01:03:30,600 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember. You had driver pierced. 1428 01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:31,600 Yeah. Do you have anything else here 1429 01:03:31,600 --> 01:03:32,680 first? Do you have your ear first? 1430 01:03:32,880 --> 01:03:35,040 See a guy with a pierced eyebrow, it says one thing and 1431 01:03:35,040 --> 01:03:39,200 one thing lead to me drugs, you know, like if you see a guy with 1432 01:03:39,200 --> 01:03:41,520 a pierced eyebrow, like, you know what, you can get stuff for 1433 01:03:41,520 --> 01:03:42,400 me. You know what I mean? 1434 01:03:42,400 --> 01:03:44,200 You know where it's at, Like, yeah. 1435 01:03:44,760 --> 01:03:48,200 Comedians aren't really guys that have piercings. 1436 01:03:48,640 --> 01:03:52,480 But some of like we one earring piercers piercings done to yeah. 1437 01:03:53,040 --> 01:03:55,720 Torio data made in life. Ear piercing, Yeah. 1438 01:03:56,280 --> 01:03:57,240 To The Who else? Let's see. 1439 01:03:57,240 --> 01:04:01,640 Recently had one and it's just I just don't, I find it weird, you 1440 01:04:01,640 --> 01:04:03,880 know, I mean like I just from well for me personally of other 1441 01:04:03,880 --> 01:04:06,360 people work away, but I just don't know what I would do if I 1442 01:04:06,360 --> 01:04:08,080 had it done. Like you'd expect Willie to have 1443 01:04:08,080 --> 01:04:11,120 more piercings than he does he just say we I broke, yeah. 1444 01:04:11,120 --> 01:04:13,880 Yeah, like you'd say you could see him growing up with we like 1445 01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:15,680 having the least. I bet you he got his ears 1446 01:04:15,680 --> 01:04:17,040 pierced before he could consent to it. 1447 01:04:17,080 --> 01:04:18,800 But his dad was like, you're getting your ears pierced. 1448 01:04:18,800 --> 01:04:22,440 Yeah, and he's like 3 months. Yeah, because I when I was 1449 01:04:22,440 --> 01:04:24,360 growing up, I was like, when I'm older, I'm going to get both 1450 01:04:24,360 --> 01:04:25,760 ears pierced. And then the middle of my year 1451 01:04:25,760 --> 01:04:26,960 too. Yeah, and then you know what's 1452 01:04:26,960 --> 01:04:28,480 happened though too. You know your man I lost 1453 01:04:28,480 --> 01:04:30,200 prophets. He's a total pervert creep guys 1454 01:04:30,200 --> 01:04:32,560 in gaol. He had he had those pierced 1455 01:04:32,560 --> 01:04:35,200 creep that were stretched right spacers. 1456 01:04:35,280 --> 01:04:36,840 Yeah. And I think now anytime I see 1457 01:04:36,840 --> 01:04:40,800 those, I think you're pedo so. That's just I brought piercing 1458 01:04:40,800 --> 01:04:43,600 drugs. Yeah, spacer pedo, Pedo. 1459 01:04:43,600 --> 01:04:44,760 Yeah. And you know another thing too? 1460 01:04:45,040 --> 01:04:48,880 Like unless you're in like some sort of unknown African tribe, 1461 01:04:49,320 --> 01:04:51,680 you know, you once you take those out, it's weird. 1462 01:04:51,680 --> 01:04:53,120 Just have your lobes down there. I was talking to. 1463 01:04:53,120 --> 01:04:55,200 Someone about this recently, Apparently they close. 1464 01:04:55,520 --> 01:04:57,760 Now that's fake news. Not if they go to Yeah, you have 1465 01:04:57,760 --> 01:05:00,840 to get it cut down because, you know, the only two bits of your 1466 01:05:00,840 --> 01:05:04,680 body that don't stop growing as you go, all apart from hair and 1467 01:05:04,680 --> 01:05:07,360 stuff, is your earlobes, ears, nose, you know? 1468 01:05:07,960 --> 01:05:09,960 So like, my mind will grow here and there. 1469 01:05:09,960 --> 01:05:12,200 Like your nose doesn't. Know your nose keeps growing so 1470 01:05:12,200 --> 01:05:14,720 when that's when you see old man with big snoozes and these long 1471 01:05:14,720 --> 01:05:17,080 ears. Not a good leg, there's no not 1472 01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:19,480 sweet big long lobes. I long lobes. 1473 01:05:19,480 --> 01:05:21,520 That's an exciting. Game I'm left 204. 1474 01:05:21,520 --> 01:05:24,800 I mean, you look terrible. You, that would be your 1475 01:05:24,800 --> 01:05:26,960 character. You'd have no hair on the top, 1476 01:05:26,960 --> 01:05:28,880 just really long on the sides of these lobes. 1477 01:05:28,880 --> 01:05:31,280 And you tie it under your chin and long lobes. 1478 01:05:31,280 --> 01:05:33,320 And because you have the long fingers, you'd be some sort of 1479 01:05:33,320 --> 01:05:34,760 prophet. That's what I'd say. 1480 01:05:35,080 --> 01:05:38,680 I am the Oracle of the future. I'm protected of the Mace. 1481 01:05:42,640 --> 01:05:45,240 I know when you really want to get business done, you tie your 1482 01:05:45,240 --> 01:05:47,720 lobes behind your head. Right, let's let's go to work. 1483 01:05:47,720 --> 01:05:48,920 But I think you have a big blowjob. 1484 01:05:53,240 --> 01:06:08,240 I see pleasure in your future. You walk in, I'm just, I'm in a 1485 01:06:08,240 --> 01:06:10,600 chicken. What troubles you? 1486 01:06:14,280 --> 01:06:17,000 Long lobes. I need your counsel. 1487 01:06:17,240 --> 01:06:23,760 Oh, I thought you'd never ask. What will it cost me? 1488 01:06:23,760 --> 01:06:25,320 Long lobes? Your bottom? 1489 01:06:37,040 --> 01:06:44,520 You're bald. My real. 1490 01:06:44,520 --> 01:06:48,440 Test. Yeah, we could go to Wild 1491 01:06:48,440 --> 01:06:50,120 Ireland. They've got bears, wolves, 1492 01:06:50,120 --> 01:06:53,640 links, wild boar and Barbary maquette. 1493 01:06:54,480 --> 01:06:58,960 Macaques is it? Macaques. 1494 01:06:58,960 --> 01:07:01,120 Yeah. I wonder what they they need 1495 01:07:01,120 --> 01:07:02,600 them, darling. No, I think, I think what 1496 01:07:02,600 --> 01:07:04,520 they've done is they've got this facility and they're like all 1497 01:07:04,520 --> 01:07:06,800 these are pretty cool, Yeah. They've got a bail on them. 1498 01:07:07,440 --> 01:07:09,400 Yeah. Wholesale price, Yeah. 1499 01:07:09,400 --> 01:07:11,120 You buy 12 links, you get a free Barber. 1500 01:07:11,120 --> 01:07:12,360 Tell you what, do you ever look at these? 1501 01:07:12,360 --> 01:07:14,440 I'm looking at a wild boar. Going to bet you had to be 1502 01:07:14,440 --> 01:07:18,240 tasty. You've had white board before? 1503 01:07:18,240 --> 01:07:19,520 Sure. So, you know, I've eaten 1504 01:07:19,520 --> 01:07:22,520 alligator. So by Florida I had some bread 1505 01:07:22,520 --> 01:07:23,800 crumbs and cheese. I thought it was nice. 1506 01:07:23,800 --> 01:07:26,560 I see I had it off the bone like it was just like it was horrible 1507 01:07:26,640 --> 01:07:27,840 Where? The Everglades. 1508 01:07:27,920 --> 01:07:28,880 Africa. Made in the Wreaths. 1509 01:07:28,880 --> 01:07:33,200 South Africa if you anything you want to plug my friend anything 1510 01:07:33,200 --> 01:07:35,840 up or slide guy podcast. Yes, Slide Guy podcast is out 1511 01:07:35,880 --> 01:07:38,960 every Thursday and then if you want early access, there's a 1512 01:07:38,960 --> 01:07:40,080 Patreon. It's a Wednesday. 1513 01:07:40,760 --> 01:07:47,760 When's this go out? This episode done Wednesday. 6th 1514 01:07:47,760 --> 01:07:50,760 of December. Well then though, because I've 1515 01:07:50,760 --> 01:07:53,240 done my show on the 7th of December which was sold out 1516 01:07:53,240 --> 01:07:54,560 nearly already. Just a couple of tickets left 1517 01:07:54,560 --> 01:07:58,120 just and then other than that, just follow me on socials D of 1518 01:07:58,120 --> 01:08:00,600 LA Comedy, see what I'm up to. Put everything there, you know. 1519 01:08:00,600 --> 01:08:02,600 And again, thanks for having me. It's been a lot of fun today. 1520 01:08:02,600 --> 01:08:04,160 I've enjoyed this thoroughly. Silly fun. 1521 01:08:04,160 --> 01:08:05,160 It's. Very silly. 1522 01:08:05,440 --> 01:08:08,320 We'll go for some lunch. Yeah, we'll break bread. 1523 01:08:08,640 --> 01:08:09,680 Thank you, brother. Thank you. 1524 01:08:09,680 --> 01:08:10,880 Love you. Love you too.