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Welcome to this episode of the Tea With Me podcast with me, she
and Todd. Bit of a weird one this, because
this week we'd hope to do the first episode in the new studio.
And we're kind of are because we're in the building that the
studio's in. But I am in my office.
Step into my office, said the 32 year old man boy.
I mean, it is weird for me to have an office.
I don't really know apart from writing what I'm going to do
here. You know, it's, it's just weird
to like, you know, it's, it's weird my wife would say like,
yeah, my husband's dying of his office because it makes it sound
like I am, you know, a normal job guy.
You know, it makes it sound like I'm respectable.
Like, I don't know, I'm a solicitor or a Private Eye.
Is there private eyes about? Is that, is that still a thing?
Like, are people a Private Eye? You know, for talk sake, a guy
walked past the windows way too old to just be carrying a
football about. And but I'm actually going to
pause this and want to ask if he fancies A kicker.
But. But even though it's no one
cool. So yeah, I just, I mean, our
private eyes a thing, you know, could I say?
So Aaron Butler's my guest today.
Say Aaron betrayed me. Say Aaron accessed my bank
account and stole half a million on me.
Would I be able to just go to a guy or woman, you know and say,
listen, I've got a problem, get some dirt on this guy.
Do you want me to Google Pray that I Belfast very keen to
know. By the way, yes, it's a guest
episode. Welcome to the episode.
Got a couple things to get through before I get my guest
on. All right.
Everything I've looked for, it's like an eye clinic.
Private Eye Belfast. OK, wait, Yeah, they're private
investigators. Oh, but I suppose you don't
like, you don't see their faces and all know a lot about it.
Oh, yeah, there is. Let me get me into the website.
Investigative services like gent like so that I've not planned to
talk about this at all, but I'm not saying the name of this
company, but I mean they do have a website so like I wouldn't be
toting on them. But there's a company here.
Oh, you can't even see the picture of the people behind it.
Fuck this class. They do, they do, they do Bug
sweeping. Like who in Northern Ireland is
getting bugged? You know, the mafia get bugged,
big organised crime associations getting bugged.
There's no way loyalist paramilitaries are getting
bugged by the police, is there? I don't know, maybe.
I mean, they probably definitely are, but like, I just love that.
Alright bro, I think of being bugged here.
Can you come and sweep up for bugs?
Yeah, there's no bugs. I'm really sure there's one
there that's this later, you know, and shout at this later.
I haven't seen one since 1999, but it's all good.
Yeah. Industrial espionage.
Can I get can I get this right? Would would you be up for me
getting a private investigator on the podcast?
And imagine they're all like, they're all done in silhouette,
which will kill Mike and Dan, who spent the last two weeks
preparing the studio for just normal light.
So imagine if I'm like, listen, Andy Mcnabb's coming in with
Needham in shadow. I love this so much.
Employment employee claiming injury.
Oh, I love this. So if you're like, oh, slipped
at work and a banana skin out here working for Cabletel, you
can just get in touch with these guys and they'll go.
Is that right? Fuck yeah.
We conduct employment investigations within the
parameters of the UK employment law.
I bet when they say that they go like this, don't worry about it.
You know, they do like a big Pinocchio nose when they say
that. Theft and fraud.
Theft in the workplace. Somebody just stole my
sandwiches. Let me get a private
investigator on to the case. I love this and I want to be, I
want to be a private investigator.
Do you think you're being bugged?
All right, man, I think I'll be a bug here who buy.
You're a postman. You know what I mean?
Fuck, this is brilliant. I'm going to try and get a
private investigator on the podcast and just ask them like
what what all of you sing? You know, I mean, they're not
good at their job if they answer that.
But maybe we could get a retired private investigator on this is
like last week, whenever I said we should get a rabbi and and
there's some cleric on the podcast, detective private
detective. I mean, I'd love to just have a
private detective on the payroll.
And then when he says, like, what do you need me to do?
I don't know, mate. Just go ahead and find things
out. Should I, through the Patreon,
fund a private investigator to work for us?
And every week we just pick like, a different comedian and
we just go out and like, find out what they're really up to,
you know? Is Martin McCartney, Syphon and
Diesel in cash. There's only one way to find
out. My private investigator.
I love this. And we're going to make it
happen. So we're in the studio.
We're in the studio currently upstairs.
There's work going on as we speak.
I said I would do a sort of virtual tour for Patreon, but
we're not even at that stage yet.
And we were supposed to do our first episode today, but we're
going to push it back to next week and do it then with with a
with a studio guest. And it's exciting times in my
office here. I've got ATV.
This is very me. I've got ATV, but I don't have a
power leader or anything for it. So I've got ATV monitor, I've
got a wee final player and then there's some biscuits my wife
gave me to bring down to the office.
So you know, we're balling out in the office and it's a good
time. I did, I did a Patreon episode
on Monday there with the baby, just me and the baby.
Not like he wasn't like miked up, you know, I mean, I wasn't
asking him like listeners questions, but me and the baby
went for a walk. I had to do a Patreon episode.
So I just put my headset on and just walked outdoors with the
baby. And then he's just heckling in
the background, you know, he's 8 months old and he sends stuff
like, you know, goo goo Gaga Dada.
And you know, why do you not have a real job?
And even though you're my dad and you're 32, why do you look
like a 17 year old female gymnast?
And that hurts, if I'm honest. If you want to check out Patreon
or patreonpatreon.com/tea With Me podcast, you get a full
length bonus episode on a Monday, which once we're
upstairs we will be doing, they're like proper, it'll be
filmed properly. It'll be a video version.
So you get an extra episode every week.
And then on Friday we do a live stream.
And this Friday we're going to do our first live stream from
the studio. We're going to experiment the
boat and see how it goes. And if you're watching the video
version, this, I am looking outside a lot, but that's just
because my window looks outside and anytime someone goes past,
I'm like a private detective and they didn't know what they're
doing and what they're up to. Like that guy there, definite
Russian insider. Do you think the red, you know,
the way there's like Russians who gather intelligence in
London and some other places? Do you think there's just like
one guy who does Northern Ireland and every week he phones
Putin and he's like, still not not a lot, but it's like what?
What are they giving up to over there?
And he phones back and he goes, a lot of the people in Northern
Ireland, they're queuing one hour for toasties.
What everyone's doing that now? I love to see it.
We're in Hollywood. That's where we that's where we
have our new studio. There's a new place here called
Melter, which I think is a place that does fancy toasties from
like Michelin starred chefs. I think I've got that right.
It's like unbelievable quality food and me and my mate went to
go to it, but we were in a rush. Me and my mate Tony last week
when we're working in the studio.
And then they were like, listen, we've got a load orders here and
we we weren't able to go, but someday we will go.
And Hollywood is just Hollywood's popping off at the
minute. Everywhere's cute.
I don't mean like in a Newton Abbey way, but I mean like the
only riots that are happening here are people just rioting for
more coffee shops. You know, people in Hollywood
are like, you know, sometimes I shouldn't have to walk more than
20 feet to a coffee, a coffee house or a coffee house.
I don't know if that's real. A coffee shop or a charity shop,
because that's what Hollywood is.
We like to give, We like to receive.
I don't know what that means. My guest today is Aaron Butler,
the man himself, Aaron Butler, big friend of the podcast.
I think he's been on the most as a guest.
I hope on Friday we'll actually ask him if he'll come down and
be one of our first stream guests.
Maybe we'll get Iron and Karen down or something like that and
we'll do a pretty wild live stream.
We'll see how that goes. I think 1 might stick to the
same time of half nine, but maybe we'll do it later in the
afternoon. I don't know.
But before we get into this episode, let me plug
manscape.com or sponsor. There's it, there's a guy with a
really small head wearing a big hat.
Would you like it if I just did podcast episodes?
And then we just, we just commented on everybody who
walked past. Hat's too big for his head.
No, then then nobody walked past.
OK, we'll not do that. We'll just do the normal
podcast. manscape.com. Manscape, if you don't know by
now, is the leader in men's below the belt grooming.
You know what I'm talking about, unless you're one of these guys
who wears a belt around his neck as a fashion accessory.
No, remember that. We're not doing belts.
Remember the things that were like zigzags, like like a zigzag
necklace in the 90's, the girls wore.
And I remember a guy wore one in our class and he was called
Jonathan in primary school. And then everyone was like, why
are you wearing that? And this was before the times
where you could just be yourself.
Do you remember when we were younger, like anyone who's my
age, like in their early 30s or younger or older, like there
seems to be this thing now I like, I get that there's
terrible people like out there and people who are like not
tolerant. But nowadays it seems you can
sort of be like, listen, let me present to you, me, you know, it
seems like nowadays you go listen, I would like to let you
know a little bit about myself. Here's what I think, here's who
I am. And like, not everyone, of
course, but like, most people, go do it.
Do whatever you want. That doesn't impact my life in
any way. Good luck to you.
And yeah, we should all just be who we want.
Of course, there's people who are like, no, but but when I
went to school, you couldn't just say, like, you could barely
change who your favourite band was, never mind, you know,
gender or anything like that. Like, that would have, Do you
understand? Like back in those days, nobody
would have. It's not that you wouldn't have
like, you know, something you wouldn't have like supported
someone or been like, oh, good luck.
You just, you just wouldn't have been able to compute it.
And I'm trying to remember what my point is.
Oh, yeah. There was a guy who came in our
class with one of those like black crisscross necklaces just
like one day because all the girls have been wearing them.
And and this was very much a time where it's like, boys do
this, go do this. That's, that's what you were
told. And if you went outside of that,
it was like, no, that didn't that didn't unfortunately, that
did not go down well. And I remember this guy Johnson
comes in with his necklace on on like a Monday morning in the
class and just sits down like he's not wearing a choke chin.
And everybody in the class was like, hey, what, what, what do
you, I think even the teacher was like, hey, what is the
meaning of this? And he goes, Oh yeah, just
everyone wears these now, these necklaces.
And then he realised in that moment that he just realised
that not everybody did. And then in his head he was
like, actually, I think I like the look at these.
But I realise she just took girls up with him and and he
then got a bit embarrassed with it, but then he just kept it on
for the whole day and then he never wore it again.
And I don't know what the moral of that story is.
I don't know what it is. But I do remember that my P6
teacher who was called Mrs Easton or Easton, don't know,
maybe she owned the magazine shop, but that's shit.
Panther But listen to this. I was playing a a class football
match, not like not like a football match.
That was Class A football match for our class against some other
class. They used to have them Strontown
primary school like tournaments where it's like, you know, this
class plays Mrs Mrs Eason's class plays against Mrs
Ireland's class. I loved it, right?
And it was taken like pretty seriously.
You play at lunchtime and you got to wear your own kid, which
is great. On this particular day, I'm
wearing a full Italy football kit and we were playing a good
team. We're playing Mr Mcdowell's team
or something, I don't know. But I know this.
On that day I just decided I was just going to play upfront as a
poacher, you know, which people used to, oh, you're poaching.
So I just decided I would stand. There's no offside.
So as I'm just stand inside the goalkeeper, I'm just going to
get a few goals for us because we were losing and there was
loads of times in the game where I should have passed the ball
but I didn't. And this isn't like me, but I
was just trying to score a goal. I mean, I don't know, I think
maybe I was trying to press girls in my class.
I don't know what was happening, but I was just trying to score
goals. Anyway.
I was being pretty ball greedy in the game.
We lost a class football game. There was no trophy.
There was no prize. We just lost the game and I
thought I actually played OK. I think I did score, but then I
maybe had like 70 chances, so it wasn't a good conversion rate.
And then a couple of guys in our class, guy called Dean, a few
other guys like weren't happy at all after the game.
They were like, you fucking, you should have passed the ball.
But remember, this is P6. So we're like, I don't know, 9.
And then when we got back to the classroom, I noticed like
everyone who played in the game and some of the people in our
class were watching. We're just talking in this
season, I'm going, OK, I just get on with my work.
I don't know what they're talking to her, but the
annotation in front of the class goes, some of you need need to
learn more about teamwork and helping others and and, you
know, working in a team because that's what you'll need.
There are skills you'll need for life.
And I'm going I don't know why she's telling us this.
And then she goes, she and Todd, you're I'm talking about you.
She said you, I you were selfish in the game and you should have
passed the ball to people more and as a result we lost the game
or something like that. And I was like, this is an
unfair roast. Like it shouldn't be roasted by
the teacher. She wouldn't even have that much
right? So I went, OK, that's weird, a
bit sly, but I just moved on. Then every day she would like
try and fight this turning therapy session.
Every day she would find a way to bring the chat round to me
not passing this like months later, you know, you should be
talking about you know, we'd be doing a thing about science and
should be talking about, you know, needles, heroin, how you
why you shouldn't do heroin should be like, you know, what
you shouldn't do is share needles.
I mean she and that's not going to be a problem for you.
You know, you're unlikely to get hepatitis from a dirty needle
because you don't pass. She didn't say that, but you
know what I mean. There was always examples of how
I should have passed the ball and then and then in my report,
like my final P6 report, this is written down.
If we ever talk about this more, I will try and find this at some
point. But in my final end of year P6
report, like just say I'm a nice kid who's a bit like with a low
IQ. No, she writes, Shane has a
problem with team sports and working with others.
And it was just because of this one game I was persecuted.
Then like the last week of term, this like independent governing
body come into our school and go, we're picking sexy at
random. They pick sexes around them.
And then they went, they took us to the library and sometime
around the school and went, tell us about your teacher.
Is she doing a good job? Be happy.
And then I, I was like, listen, the gloves are off because
everybody's gone. Yes, she's dead on.
And I said, well, listen, she has a problem with me and she's
bullying me. She's victimising me a bit.
And I don't know if that ever got back to her, but I hope it
did. And I also said she talks about
her cat too much. I was much of being a bitch with
being a bitch. You know what I mean?
I was like, why do we always need to know about her cat?
I'm trying to find out about algebra and spell and she's
telling me that her her cat's too fat.
You know, she showed up to misses that.
I think that was unfair. I think you.
I think you're the reason why why I struggled academically
from there. I'm joking.
I think.
And just because I am like quite a thick guy in some ways.
But but yeah, I think that was pretty slime misses.
And I don't know why you did that.
And I still play football to this day.
But I'm I'm more of the team player.
I'll pass the ball. And Missus Easton, I'd like you
to come on the podcast. I want to have the next episode
of this podcast. I want to have a rabbi, a Muslim
cleric, Missus Easton, and a private investigator.
In fact, I might get a private investigator to to find some
ways in which Missus Easton has been selfish in her life and not
shared. My guest today is Aaron Butler,
sponsor in manscave.com. Speaking of Sharon, I'm going to
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manscape.com. They've got a great travel case
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Dan uses it, Mike uses it. In fact, when I'm hosting the
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trimming their balls and that's what we like to see.
Great gift idea. This.
The Lawnmower 3.2 is like a wee electric razor.
It's got a light on it, an LED light.
It's a great time. manscape.com used to go tea with me for 20%
off and free shipping. Let's get stuck into this
episode today. My guest is the man Prince
himself, Mr. Allen Butler. Here he is.
Mr Butler, I think this is maybe like the sixth time you've done
the podcast. Yeah.
But always glad to be here, always happy to be a guest.
So thanks for having me. No listen, no problem at all.
Look, I mean, there's a lot that I need to chat to you about, but
there's nothing more pressing than this.
Did I tell you about? So I spent the last few weeks on
the podcast talking about my circumcision, mainly on Patreon
and which is a great incentive for people to sign up.
But yeah, you guys knew that your boy was going to get, let's
just say the bacon slicer was coming out.
And I built it up. I said, like, last week I was
like, hey, I'm going to get it done.
I've had a few messages sent from people going, mate, is
everything OK? Do you know the story?
You've you've not got it done, have you?
Well, I haven't. I genuinely haven't told you
this, no. No.
So yeah, you don't have to tell me.
I'll flip. I OK, I tell me everything.
I've got a picture to go with this, right?
Oh no, hang on. Oh, I know it's Oh dear, it
didn't have enough power bro to cut the whole way through right
here's what happened. I go to get it done and I'm
like, relax for it. It was last Thursday, I think.
So I'm I'm feeling good. I'm ready to, I'm ready to get
it done. I get the COVID test the day
before. I don't hear anything.
So I mean that tells you that I got a negative test.
Also, you know, I've been vaccinated.
So I'm feeling good. Set aside time to go get it
done. Now the main thing I kept saying
to people was this is unreal because you can drive yourself
home after, I can believe a 20 minute procedure.
Drive yourself home. So I get to the the fancy
hospital, right? I get down there and they go A
nurse meets me at reception and walks me up to the wee private
room. So I'll show you the photo here
of the room. It's really nice.
Wee bit of art on the wall. You've got a bed, you've got ATV
big private bathroom. So I go look bit of comfort.
This is great. She goes, I need you to fill out
a question. Got a student with me.
Is that OK? I said, Yep, no problem.
She goes, need need you to fill out a questionnaire.
So they go through a lot of stuff.
Any allergies? Yeah, all that sort of thing.
A bit like when Karen was on the allergic to the latex.
I said, yeah, it brings me out in a boner.
No one laughs. Then they come back in, They're
like, so the doctor will be done with you shortly to talk you
through everything. I'm like, Yep, she goes, we'll
bring you up the theatre. Happy days.
At this point, is your deck out or?
It shouldn't have been but it was.
In fact once I arrived in the car park it was out.
It was just out of the Jean at the slip on the jeans and but in
between the buttons which is slight.
But anyway. Anyway, I go up and she comes
back in the nurse and goes can I just double check?
How many days have you been self isolating for?
And I thought they were just asking that out of curiosity.
So I go 2 because I've, I've literally been working from home
and I've been in public for probably 2 days.
And she goes right. And then she disappeared and
came back and she was like, you were supposed isolated for a
week before, self isolated for a week before this procedure.
And I, I said no one told me that.
I said nobody told me that. I get out the e-mail that I got
with all the information. I went look, no one told me
that. She goes, I'm so sorry about
this. Let me get the surgeon and we'll
have a chat As as she leaves the room, I look in him in bold.
It's like, yeah, you need to isolate for seven days before
this. Like it's in its own, it's in
its own red box on the phone. So he comes down the surgeon,
he's like, fuck, he goes really sorry, but we're obviously going
to have to reschedule. You can't get in the theatre if
you haven't self isolated for a week.
And I'm like, you know what this is?
I was like, I thought no one had told me to do it.
I said it's my mistake, I apologise for like wasting
everybody's time. It's my fault and I feel shit.
By the way, let me point out in between these times, I'm not in
the robe, so I'm sitting on the bed in a.
Robe right legs up like in the little stalks.
Legs up, ready to be cut and I'm sitting in the robe and
everyone's like you don't be bastard like you're supposed to
isolate now. Seconds before he came in, a
lady came in to take my dinner order and she goes, she goes,
what about vegetable soup for a starter?
And I said, listen, I have a few dairy alerts.
I have a dairy alerts and gluten.
And she goes, I'll get you gluten free bread from a
different part of the hospital. I'm like, thanks so much.
She goes, all this trouble gets tea.
Yeah. Do you have almond milk?
She goes, nobody can get it from somewhere else.
I'm like, listen, if it's not too much trouble.
So when the doctor is walking out of the room and he's
basically being like, you know, you can stick your clothes on
and like, you'll just have to go home.
But he was so dead on about it. As he walks out, the wee woman
walks in with my vegetable soup and my roll and my tea.
So, so I just, I just like, look at that first breath.
Yeah, I just sat and like, here's the thing.
I start like texting like obviously my wife.
Oh, by the way, it turns out you're not allowed to drive
yourself home. That's stipulated that you're
getting, you're getting anaesthetic in the lower half of
your body. So your legs might not work.
So don't drive yourself home. But I'm like phoning my wife.
I'm phoning like Dave and someone else to be like, unless
you're not going to believe this.
I realise I've been there for 45 minutes.
They need the room because somebody else is coming in.
I'm sitting in my robe. The nurse go, a different nurse
goes, have you had your surgery and all?
And I'm sitting there in a full robe eating my vegetable soup.
And I said I'm not even getting any ink done.
She goes, are you get, have you got your surgery?
And I went, no, I'm not getting surgery today.
And I'm just sitting there in a full robe, working away at this
Senate, at this House, so. Yeah, I mean, and here's for
people that know you. None of that story surprises me
in the slightest. The e-mail doesn't surprise me.
The whole anaesthetic thing doesn't surprise me.
You sitting and continuing to eat the soup doesn't surprise
me. And here's what has went through
your head, you find. Oh, I haven't been able to eat
somewhere in ages. I'll just sit here and sit in
and eat this soup and have a nice day like and I can just see
the cogs in your head turning. But enjoyable nonetheless.
So it's rescheduled I'm assuming?
Yeah, I haven't got a new date, but what do you think I did
whenever I left? Because I basically said to
myself, you've been through your dealer, what do you think I did
when I left? Bear in mind that the hospital
is on the Lisburn Rd. I just got Nandos on the way
home, mate. Just got to click and click
Nandos. I was going to say you probably
took yourself to Nandos. So you had soup and Nandos is
the stress of everything. You, you just, yeah, the whole
situation that you created yourself, the the just led to
that. Well, look, I'm sorry to hear
that it didn't work out. But I hope, Nick, you've learned
you've did a dummy run. You know what I mean?
You know, you've met, you've mentally prepared yourself and
what they expect from now. Also, if I was you, I would have
just lied and say, yeah, I've been isolating for seven days.
Get get the cotton. I can't do that.
I can't do that because I'm online.
But I would have. I know you can.
But I would have. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've been isolating for six years, ready to get this done.
I would have been my thing. I would have.
I went above the lie. Yeah, so basically I'm just
enjoying the second chance with my foreskin.
And and yeah, it's it's annoying though, because I was setting
myself up for it and now I just, I'm looking at my foreskin like,
you know, like there he is, he's still here.
So it will happen again and we will live stream it for Patreon.
Absolutely. I'll get like A4 camera set up
going every angle. I genuinely was going to ask
them, right? Could I put a GoPro on myself
because you're awake for it And like genuinely like not live
stream, but make a video and then put it out for Patreon or
something. And then I thought the hospital
probably wouldn't be keen on that.
Well, here was my thinking behind that even because when I
was getting my vasectomy, I was like, oh, like I could easily
like do something like you were saying there like do like a
video of me just reacting. But then I thought to myself,
no, because I don't want to do anything that is out of the
normal for the doctor in case it distracts the doctor and he's
cutting around your Dick at the time.
And then a wee slip happened. So I was like, no, best just to
let him do it the way he's always did it and let's just
make it fine. So yeah, that was.
Or what if he tries to do fancy stuff?
You know what I mean? During a circumcision.
Show off. You know, like those the way
people cut paper and then you open it up and it's like we
shapes. That was my number one concern
that he put like, you know, he'd make some we diamonds in it and
stuff and. I don't know.
Yeah. Although it's just the dates to
your shows although. SSA November.
Do you know what? That would be great advertising,
wouldn't it? Because I'm just thinking you
could do whatever he want. You can cut whatever he wants
into the foreskin. It's getting cut off.
So maybe what I do is once it's cut off, I go listen bro, get
that scalpel back out there. And then he puts in SSC Arena
and then I just take a photo of that and then it goes up.
Or we just Photoshop it like, let's make life easy, you know
what I mean? Let's not, let's not have to cut
up a shrivel crap little foreskin.
What? Do you mean it's not a little
but did? You're not getting rid of it
because it's healthy, man. Yes, Dave.
Did Dave get you to do a bit of Photoshop around this?
For me, no Or DJ. Oh, yes.
Oh, well, clearly anything you see from Dave.
No, no, but very funny. The the.
Yeah, anytime you see a Photoshop from Dave, it came
from me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he, he, he was
like the day I was getting it done.
He goes, man, I have something to show you for your procedure.
And I thought it was going to be like a life coat, you know,
like, like the night is dark is just before the dawn.
Oh, no. Just a very disrespectful
Photoshop. David G mate and Dave ever
betrays me. I'll, I'll, I'll like, I'll
release it. Yeah.
Can I tell you something, in the introduction to this episode, I
was talking about private investigators for some reason.
And I I was like, let me Google it and see if there's any
private investigators locally. There legitimately is, isn't
that? That's interesting, yeah,
because I never sort of thought of that myself.
You imagine like it's just an American thing.
What could we get them to private investigate?
Well, I was saying we could get like Dave for example.
You know. Could we like find out stuff on
Dave and then slip it into conversation, You know, where
were you last Sunday, you know, at 8:00 because like just there
like he was in Newton Abbey all weekend.
There just passed. So you could, you know, drop
that in And I don't know. I would love to have a private
investigator on the part. I want to have people on as well
as comedians, obviously a mates. I want to have people on the
podcast that have like my jobs and be like, what all of you
seen them all. Yeah.
You know what sort of crimes? Yeah.
But would you have to like silhouette them and change their
voice? Or do you think, do you think
say private investigator, do you think it's just like one of your
dad's mates who's like, I'll find out.
And he just he just really badly tails them.
He says private investigator on the side of his BAM.
Yeah, or he's just downloading Facebook pages and sending you
the e-mail being like, are you yours?
Everything you need to know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do you think you'd be a good? Private Investigator.
Would I be a good private investigator?
Yeah. What do you think?
I mean, with appropriate training, yeah, I don't think I
could just Willy nilly start doing it.
There's bound to be like some sort of tricks and secrets that
they have that you like. And how do you know be cool like
the special gadgets they use? Like do they use like a WE
camera and stuff that like sees through people's?
Houses and all probably. And then one of the things on
the website there said we can check if you're being bugged.
And part of me was thinking who in Northern Ireland is being
bugged? Yeah, like what wise?
Well. But what have you, what if we
just did it for the crack for the podcast with the private
investigator? And then we said what about
being bugged and all And he like did some check in your car just
to prove how it works and you were being bugged.
Sure we're all being bugged if you fucking if you have a phone.
Oh, no, Connor Keys on the podcast.
I mean, you know what? That's one of those things
that's like, you know, we all laugh at I'm like, but we are.
Oh yeah, like I'm not a conspiracy not but I do believe
like if you have a phone, there's a lot of things probably
tracking you, but who gives a fuck?
Like, are you not going to have a phone?
Yeah, it's one of those things where like people go, they're
listening to your phone calls and your messages and like
they're not see you that said not they're not some guy like
I'm trying to arrange 5 aside here and they're listening to
all my. Messages.
Is like, are they are they're like Becky, can you get your
cousin to play or is he in Magaberry?
Is he I'll just drive around to town.
I'll get someone Jake Buck, I like would play.
You know, everyone's listening to those conversations.
Yeah, no one's reading your days.
What's up Means that he's sending to the family group like
a fucking. Show people should be, but
they're not. Yeah, if they did, he definitely
would be in gaol, but they're not.
Can we talk about you being on the property ladder or do you
not really want to talk to? No, no, no, absolutely.
Let's chat about it. So yeah, I bought my first house
for the for at the tender age of 32 and 10 days the and it was
the most frightening thing I've ever done.
Well, first of all, I didn't know it was your birthday in 10
days. Do you want to do some sort of
birthday special podcast? Do you want to?
Yes. And I'll do some surprises for
you. Sure.
Let's we'll do that. Well, I'll yeah, we'll figure it
out. But yes.
OK. All right.
So you bought your first house? Yeah.
What? What does the butt man look for
in a house? Because I don't think it's
convention like most people be like, you know, good access to
it, park in, don't want it too loud beside a main road.
But I could see you. I could see you buying a house
based on its proximity to a milkshake parlour.
There's that. There's also, you know what,
what are they like? Is there room to put slides in
and over and around the house? You know what I mean?
Slides from the room to the living room, from the back
garden to the front, like things like that.
We need to, you know, adoptability like that sort of
thing is good. I actually, you'll, you know,
you'll get a kick out of this because I'm a house guy now I'm
trying to buy sort of stuff that house people would buy.
And I've discovered a website that sells cents furniture.
I discovered a furniture website from Sweden.
Do you know there's these Scandinavian guys and if you
give them £4 they will make you 7 cabinets and they won't make
it, you'll make it. But yeah, I love the idea that
you genuinely are finding this stuff out.
Yeah, I'm a house guy now and what I but what I found, and
this will be the most me thing you'll hear at this point, is a
website that specialises in scented candles that sent your
house to the sense of Disney World.
So I have went online today and purchased many pounds worth of
scented candles. But the scent of Disney World is
like, you know, popcorn, sad popcorn.
And I'm trying to make your kids love you and.
That's my house. That's exactly I want to be.
Do you know what? Do you know what I can guarantee
you? You're the first person that's
bought that product. And they were so good to shut
that website down and then they went hang on, order from West
Belfast. This is the same guy that bought
Magic Beans almost two weeks ago.
Hey, they're going to come through OK.
That's the new Bitcoin. I can't wait.
I can't wait till I have a look at your house and you're like,
yeah, I'm a house guy. And I go, Aaron, there's no roof
on this. And you're like, oh, is that why
I was cold? Actually, the guy told me that
was a water feature. There's a seller here, there's a
chill seller down below the floor and there's six bodies in
it. Oh, I thought that was Terry
Bradley art. Isn't that?
Isn't that Madame Tussauds in Northern Ireland?
I thought I had. There's a guy, there's a guy
doing heroin in your utility room.
Oh, I thought he was an athlete. I thought that was a vitamin
drip. No, I might be a state agent.
Yeah, but but I bought it off them.
Yeah. But the the.
So yeah, I'm excited, nervous, scared, all that stuff.
And yeah, I'm very happy that I'm going to be moving on my
parents house finally. Like, you're not going to be
able to do a conventional house warming, but are you going to be
simply that? Do you not want to, are you
someone who, like you don't want to have people around for like a
bit of a party, a bit of a do? Because I'm like that.
Like, I don't like people. I like having friends around the
course, but I don't like the idea of like, imagine someone
being like, yeah, someone's built something in there.
Nope, I'm I'm we're, we're exactly the same on this.
I'm not looking for a house party.
I'm, I'm looking like look, 2-3 people next that I like people,
you know what I mean? That'll come round, you know
what I mean? Watch WrestleMania together, get
a pizza, that sort of thing every night.
WrestleMania. Same.
One, yeah, yeah, yeah #17 it was the best.
Do that. And then I'm not looking to like
have cocktails or like put on little bits of food like that's,
it's not that sort of house. It's my house.
Here's here's how much it is my house.
There's three bedrooms in it, and only one of them has an
actual bed in it. The other two are for me.
Now you're going to have to follow that up and tell me what
they're for you for. One has a swing and a pole in it
I. Swear to God I was like you say,
one has a swing. But it's it's a kinder Fisher
one from the kids have the the it's one for the back garden,
but I just I can happen to fit it in the house.
So I'd rather the valuable item. I'd rather keep them, but no is
there. Is there more of a tragic image
than just a 32 year old guy in his own house with no one to
push them on a swing? You're telling people like I've
got a swing upstairs or like, oh wow you kinky bastard.
You get up there and you're like, will you push me?
Yeah, because it's not even outside, there's no wind.
It's just just so, so fucking still.
It's basically a chair they. But yeah, so I'm making those
two rooms, 1 rooms going to be in office clearly, because I
work from home a lot. And then the second room you'll
like this is going to be a bit of a gym room.
So there's going to be like a squat rack in there.
It's going to be probably a rowing machine, you know, set up
bench and all that sort of good fun stuff.
So and that's, again, not catering to any guests.
If anyone's like, oh, can we come over and stay?
We're like, Nah, you're all right.
Yeah. I could definitely see you rent
them part of the house out for Airbnb to weird European people
would not be the would not be the see people that do that.
I fucking understand people who are like I need to make a few
quid. I've got too much space in my
house. 100% I could not have anybody in my house at one time
when I'm sleeping. That I don't know extremely
well. Yeah, and even when you do know
them extremely well, we still wouldn't settle, you know, we'd
be just sort of sleeping a wee bit on edge at night anyway.
The but yeah, I could. Even the thought of that makes
me squirm a little bit in the skin.
I mean, fair play of people that can do it and are like, I don't
understand how people can just be so carefree about that sort
of stuff. Just like, yeah, we, we have
people just stay around. We just stay.
It's all good. We like just catering for people
and stuff. It's just nice.
But like, that's, that's how like a Netflix murder
documentary happens. Some unknown guy from fucking
Czechoslovia comes over and fucking.
It's a country. Look it up.
But yeah, so no, I'll not be doing that.
It'll be just an do, you know, it'll be a nice home.
It'll be a nice home, OK. And it has a lovely back garden
that a lot of neighbours will hate having to watch me shoot
videos outside, and that's OK. Listen to like you're a guy who
will be sunbathing in there when the weather's good, right?
Wearing like, very little. When the weather's bad.
Yeah. I'll be in nothing.
I say to my dad yesterday, what about that a fella lives in the
street. I said, you ever see him?
Like I haven't heard much of him.
My dad goes as if this is nothing.
My dad goes, last time I saw him, he was sunbathing at the
back door like completely bollock naked.
And I said, huh, my dad goes, he was sitting at his back door.
He says he probably didn't know anyone could see him.
But my dad goes he was just sitting bollock naked.
And I said, like deck out and he goes, yeah, but that was about
half six in the morning. Why did any of that need?
Like why would any of that sound normal?
Yeah, why is your dad not like made a bigger deal of it?
Why is he not reported that your dad is almost an enabler that
that guy getting his deck out. So what's happened is you're
that guy has like has accidentally like, you know, a
ball like fell out with boxers and he went ah, fuck.
And your dad was about and your dad didn't say anything and he
went. Well.
Well, if he's not. I think my dad couldn't report
him because then the guy would. Your dad was also doing it.
The guy would be like, I'm I started doing it because I saw
this fellow do This fellow's been doing it since 1987 in his
garden. Yeah, yeah, this guy literally
spreads his cheeks to get the little crack in his butt hole
completely done and that. So yeah, you couldn't do it.
But here's the thing. Why don't you get your Dick
planned? Surely your Dick would burn.
I think it would burn pretty easily because like that skin
doesn't see daylight a lot. It shouldn't see daylight a lot.
You know what I mean? So so I had Nah, I'm not.
Do you know what? Here's the thing.
No, I sort of grew up thinking nudist speeches were like really
weird and disturbing. And now I think about it, I'm
like, I get it. Because it's like everyone knows
why they're going. Everyone know, everyone there is
like, I'm comfortable being naked and comfortable seeing
other people naked. And I don't think many people
who go, you're going to get probably one in 10 pervert, but
everyone's probably like, Nah. I feel like there's something
about that to me that feels quite natural where you're like
just balls and deck out going for a swim on the beach.
Like that's the way you kind of should be.
But then another part of me is like, no, but then what if
people are looking at your Willy and all?
It's weird, yeah. It's weird when it's like it's a
nudist beach, but it's part of a normal beach and there's no you
don't. Separation, yeah.
I've seen that before. Whenever travel opens again, do
we just book a flight to some unknown country that no one
knows us and just go try out a nudist beach and see what we
think do? You know what we have to do.
Do you remember there was a guy who got in touch with me?
I told you about it literally just before lockdown, so I
couldn't do it. But I must get in touch with
them. Do you remember there was a guy
who was like, we used to do a video from my business and I
told you about it and it was there.
It was a car wash near you. Oh yeah.
And I said, like, what's your budget?
He told me. And I was going, do you remember
what we were going to do? We were going to just travel
the. We're going somewhere.
Yeah. Look like a Really.
Cheap. The cheapest is like to like
Poland. And then just go there and
spread the word about this, like car wash, car wash in Belfast.
I was thinking about that day. We have to do that also now that
there's so many like, and this probably one of them.
I haven't even checked our questions here.
We'll get on to them in a SEC. But now that there's so much
like Line of Duty bloodlines, all that kind of thing, let me
just tell you the appetite for the return of Belfast Blues.
It's high. Fever pitch.
It really is. We need to just write the second
season I don't want. Yep.
Look, we've got the space for you come down here and we can do
it and we can and we can just get a shot because this can
double as like a off. We could use this as a location
as well. As a new headquarters, Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, they have. I've had some ideas.
And so, like when we were writing that, it was probably
some of the funniest. Just times like just coming up
with all the jokes and the stuff.
Yeah, but it's predicted. Yeah, we should definitely do
like 3 episodes and do them on a like a Tuesday, Wednesday,
Thursday or something. Absolutely.
Yeah, Yeah, for sure. I agree The the.
And call it something instead of Belfast Blues too.
It's like Belfast Blues. Yeah, there's some sort of.
Salaries, chasers, you know what I mean?
Like like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah. We'll, we'll come up with some
sort of tagline for it here before you get into questions.
Have we? Have you did a shout out for
Card Frampton yet to talk about his fight?
What do you mean shout it for him?
Just to pay respect to the the the retired career of card.
Frampton I haven't paid respect on the podcast, but I have paid
my respects on kind of on social media because I put up the the
item Mike Goldrick video with him like years ago and I put up
a really good clip from it and I was like, yeah, I hope he does
the business. Do you know what the worst thing
is? Well, no, it's not a negative
because he's retiring after an amazing career, but not but like
see going to his fights it like I didn't enjoy the Manchester
trip for the Warrington fight because we just it was our
fault. We ended up staying in the shit
hotel that I thought was an unreal hotel.
And it was just like, like some guy threatened to beat me up
when we were arriving. I'll tell you what, this like we
got into the lift. We were there.
By the way, I went to see Frampton as part of my honeymoon
because we went over to see a Frampton fight and then from
there flew on to America and like, we just got married.
Like really looking forward to the fight because he was like,
yeah, with Warrington, it was going to be a big fight.
Got into the lift to like big drunk English fellas in the
lift. And I said like, how's it going
mate? Or whatever and or said the
floor what we're going to And they were blitzed and the guy
goes like where are you from? And I said Northern Ireland.
And he goes Oh yeah, he said I think he either said the other
said it was one or the other. He was either like, oh, you're a
female then or you're a home, whatever, whatever it was.
And I said I just, I thought he was just having like stone faced
Panthers. So I was like, oh, no, I went,
we were to, we were to both or something.
I just like totally deflected and was like, fuck, we'll do all
24 stories here. And then the guy was just like 4
was in the left and the guy's just staring at me.
Like no facial expression, just staring at me.
And I said, he's going to fucking kill me.
And then we got off the left and we'll walk into the room and he
said something like hopefully a run in there later.
And I like, don't look back on something.
Get into your room. Then we hear two guys going, I
think we're on the rock. Fuck's sake.
Got off the wrong floor. They were then in the room
beside us. The walls were really thin and I
heard them planning to attack me later in the night.
They're like, we'll find that fell, kick his head in or
whatever it was. So I didn't have a good trip,
but let me just say the Vegas trip where I want to see
Frampton and Santa Cruz for their second fight was
absolutely brilliant. It was magic.
So the amount of like great nights that he's given is is is
unreal. I try and get him on the
podcast. I think the last time I asked
him, he just started his own for joe.ieorjoe.co.uk.
So yeah, I'll, I'll try and get him on.
Do you watch Fight? I did and it was it was sad to
say, but also you have to just admire that he did have like
probably the best, one of the best Northern Irish sort of
boxing careers. And like he went out still
fighting like he was fucking they for in the top four.
And that shot he took that put him down.
It was an uppercut. No one gets up from that If
anyone else gets up. No, but he he like it just shows
you like the sort of heart that he had as a fighter just to be
like, Nope, keep going, keep going.
So yeah, good for him. It's also very impressive that
he is retiring now because he definitely could have had
another Windsor fight or gone out that, you know, final fight.
He could have done a Windsor but didn't want to do that for the
fans, you know, just in case he couldn't perform probably at the
level he wanted or whatever, or couldn't get the opponent he
wanted. So I think that's very admirable
as well because a lot of people would just go for the payday.
Yeah, true. I was going to say it is sad
that we'll never get like a big final harass stadium fight from
him, but at the same time like he doesn't know anybody,
anything and I can do whatever he wants to do and whatever.
But yeah. Maybe.
Maybe you look without Paddy Barnes and Belfast Blues.
Maybe Frampton's in? Yeah, playing the bad guy, Yeah,
no. Yeah, unbelievable career.
Like so good. Absolutely.
Watching the highlights thing before that fight, there was
someone like a montage of his titleings and stuff.
Yeah, class, right? We'll get stuck into some
questions. Sure.
We have had a really good response, so let me get wired
in. Also, a lot of people think that
the picture I put up of you is today.
It's not. That was a pre lockdown outfit
that you were wearing. Remember, you came down to
Hollywood wearing the leopard print suit.
Sure do. I remember walking the High
Street of it then and surprisingly no one really
cared. It's Hollywood me, you know what
I mean? People are like, oh, you dressed
all day, you know? Yeah, I'm in.
A full leopard print suit, so. Yeah, still have it.
All right, let's see what we've got here.
Mark Cunningham says this isn't a podcast question.
All good. Patrick Quinn, would you ever
consider a recorded road trip with each other menu plus the
likes of Dave, like Carl Pilkington, Clive Warren?
If so, where would you love to see in the world?
Sorry, Warren Davis. No idea where Clive Warren came
from. Yeah.
So would we do like and shout out to Patrick Quinn AKA Belfast
Guy and China? I hope all is all is well.
Yeah, I mean, we def we definitely would.
That is one of the videos that we or like a series of videos
that just were locked and we talked about doing of like
booking the cheapest flight abroad that we could fly back
same night and just go and like mess about for a day and shoot
it. There was that.
I love that idea. I also love the idea of just
keeping it in like the island of Ireland where like I've seen
people do this on a YouTube video before.
So it's kind of staying the idea.
But I just thought it was genius where you just put up a map of
Ireland and then you throw a dart blindly and wherever it
hits, you just have to travel to it and document the whole thing.
You stay, you don't like plan where you're staying.
You just get down there, find somewhere to stay, like find the
activities, blah, blah, blah. I think that would be a great
idea for if we ever did something like that for I'd love
to do it. I said to oh for sure.
I said to Dave once he was talking about like an Ireland
travel series idea and I said we could just travel the entire way
around the coast of Ireland. I said take a weekend and travel
around the entire coast of Ireland and Dave when?
Yeah. How long do you think that would
take? I was like, I don't know, 2-3
days? He's like, not if you travel
around the entire coast you fucking moron.
Yeah, I do think he does. I mean, set up the challenge.
I'll sponsor you. 2-3 days do like a gumball rally type thing.
Oh, could you imagine? Jesus, you know, the biggest
logistical issue with that is just getting like camera people
obviously because like you don't want to be taking someone away.
Like say we took Michael Foster, like we'd have to take him away
for 2-3 days from his normal work.
So then we'll have to flip and fund that and stuff too.
So it's one of those logistical things.
But obviously me, you and Dave would just trucking like.
Go pros could be a good way to go.
Yeah, that's also a good alternative.
Right a little more questions here, but yeah, we definitely
would do that. Elaine Kelly says have you seen
the people can review supermarket items on the Asda
app maybe could be an alternative to the TripAdvisor
segment. Also here are your fashion icons
to take the firm. Yeah, I love this, Elaine,
because someone's just left a review for like cream, like
cream and Asda, like straight up just cream, whipped cream
person. It's called Baxley.
That was me. Sorry.
It's double. Cream.
They've left a five star review for the Double Cream and Asda
and just written Bought to make cheesecake.
That's it, That's it. What more do you want your
bullet to make Cheesecake Elaine Yes, I think we could definitely
explore this as a future segment.
Iron. Here are your fashion icons.
Do you ever see the just the kid on the trooper box?
Yeah, that's what you're going for.
No, I'm only I'm only joking. It's the kid on the concern box.
Yeah, you just go with the sort of like earthly tones for
clothes and. Earthly tones, nice patterns,
that sort of thing. I don't know if I have.
I'll tell you who I like that. I can't.
I don't know his name, so pardon me, but he he the guy from Queer
Eye for the Straight guy, not tan France, not tan France, but
the guy that wears the bomber jackets.
He's, I think he's the black guy.
Yeah, You think he's the black guy?
Hey, man, he is. Yes, he is.
He's like legitimately very sexy.
Like not even like in a messable way.
He's a very sexy guy. Like he would make you feel at
ease very quickly. Like say you're like, Oh my,
asthma's flaring up and all. He would.
I'm glad you said asthma. You're going to say something
else? Yeah, yeah, sure.
He's the guy I want to calm me down.
So yeah, he's very good style. Yeah, I like him.
What about you? Who?
Are my style icons do? You have any?
I think fashion, I think is a projection of self.
So I don't think you should have style icons.
But apart from that, just just Mickey Bartlett.
Yeah, I mean, if Mickey Bartlett knows knows the latest trend,
suddenly William. Palmer says hey, hey bro, guy
dudes, are you guys considering any more procedures on your
Williards? Yeah.
I mean, very valid question to ask us.
You've had the vasectomy, I will have the circumcision soon.
So is there anywhere, you've talked about school talks on the
podcast before, but is there any other procedures you would
consider down there? Just the school talks.
I don't think you know unless they can add like another one
like what's what's the point? You want you, would you go to
that? Would you have two decks for
like a trial for a day to see how it goes?
Yeah, but it's not like 2 decks side by side.
It's like it's like 1 deck comes out of the other deck like a wee
alien head and it's like, you know what I mean?
So it's like just, I don't know. I don't know.
I'm just I'm look if there's. Is 1 for business, 1 for
pleasure. Yeah, just look, if there's any
surgeons out there, any specialists that are trying some
innovative new wave techniques, hit me up and just let me know.
You show me a price list, show me a menu and I'll see what we
can do. What about what about you?
Any sort of other procedures you've considered it?
I would consider like a zip lock on the ball back just in case
you're running or what I'm going to do is what I'm going to do my
keys, fire them in in a in a waterproof bag, tell them in a
wee waterproof bag and put them in something like that.
Although would it be like what? What's in say you?
I mean, I mean mean nothing. Yeah, you.
You fresh? The only thing in your ball bag
is ideas. Yeah.
So I think we'd we'd be open to new procedures or an OK.
Head us up. What's the Batman stance on full
body feature length, Cheetah track suits or weight?
So I think he knows what he knows what your attitude is.
Have you ever looked at anything online clothes wise and thought
no I couldn't? No, not at all.
Everything I see, I see potential, and that's a metaphor
for Life, OK, For people. Everyone has a bit of potential,
and that goes for clothing too. Let me ask you this.
Would you say I bought you it, right?
Would you wear PVC blazer and trousers?
So like so you wear AT shirt short sleeve T-shirt, right?
Normal T-shirt you have a blazer for over the top of it but it's
see through PVC and then you just wear boxers.
But then you put the see through PVC trousers over the top and
then you just wear trainers. Also it's see through.
Yeah. I mean, yeah, word, as long as
it was like, as long as I'm not going to get in trouble by the
police, they're not going to see me walking down the street and
go here. You can't be wearing see through
pants dude. You're not wearing see through
pants, you're wearing see through trousers, but you're
wearing normal pants. I'm wearing boxers, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. So you can't get in trouble.
Well, if I can't get in trouble, then sure, I'll wear it at a gig
sometime. Like we had this thing where we
were going to buy each other outfits for pug uglies one
night, and I would still like to do that as well.
There's also a great idea that if you go on the TK Maxx's
website and just go for the cheapest item of everything and
then put it together in one outfit and just see what you
get. I might do that myself, just see
what outfit I get. Pierce Doherty says.
What the fuck is he wearing? It's a real question question.
So could you describe your leopard print suit in like a bit
more detail? Or if people don't, If I'm not,
if I'm not explaining that the people could you.
So I'm in Disney World, of course, where I usually AM, and
I'm in Walmart just shopping about.
And in the women's clothes section, there is a full leopard
print suit for $30. And I was like, I was like,
Airla, I'll try this on as a laugh and sure, I'll get a photo
with it and then I'll send my man all be good, Crack.
And then I tried it on and had a moment where I went, oh, this is
coming home. Yeah.
Get your green card because you're coming over to Ireland.
And so I just bought it straight up because I was like $30.
That's a bargain. And so yeah, it comes in handy
and I'll use it for something. OK, the less the better, Luke
O'Neill says. Would Aaron Butler beat Joe
Exotic's understudy? Do you think you would do a good
job playing Joe Exotic in an amateur dramatic play held in
the Welcome Centre W Belfast? Yes.
Does that answer it like I've been working on?
Yeah, yeah, I'm writing a screenplay at the minute about
the the but. You play Joe Exotic, I play the
Dave plays. I play, you know, the guy that
shot himself. I play him and Dave plays again.
Oh no. Why is Dave playing the guy in
the Dave? Because the guy has like big
gaps where his teeth should be, so it sort of writes itself.
You know the did you? I actually watched the Louis
Theroux Joe Exotic follow up documentary.
You probably haven't seen it yet.
No, I mean, it's all right. I mean, you don't learn too much
apart from me. Still mental.
And he's still the best. Here's the best part about it.
Whenever Trump was obviously getting moved out of the White
House, like Joe Biden or whatever, like all the Joe
Exotic people had like sworn that Trump was going to give Joe
Exotic a pardon and they had a stretch Hummer limousine wait
outside the prison to pick Joe up.
That's how I just love. I just love that.
I love that he never got to give in it.
Imagine like that's the last in legacy from Trump's presidency.
Imagine most iconic thing he did was pardon Joe Exotic and Marty
Cox says where's the bomb like guy?
That's another sketch we need to make.
Again, we need to do a follow up to that for sure.
I think what we need to do is, and it's probably like a writing
thing for me, but distinguishing those a bit more, you know what
I mean? Those two, because the Belfast
Blues thing became like a version of that thing with a bad
accent. So I think Belfast Blues, we
just do our own accents and then but like badly acted, which hey,
we could, let's face it, we can. And then and then we make, we
make Belfast film, but with the like American Belfast accents.
Yeah, it just needs to have like some sort of different
characters or story to it that'll they'll drive.
I mean, it's more of a trailer and stuff anyway.
We do for that one. But yeah, I think people would
love to see a follow up with that.
So yeah. I've got an idea.
We'll talk. I've got an idea.
OK, OK, OK, Scooter. Jimmy Harrison says can you do
some impressions of your favourite prank callers from the
Boy Town podcast? Did you Did you ever have to a
prank call on Boy Town when you when you jumped in episodes?
I did, but Dave just made me do it as Liberace, which we all
know is is pretty easy for me. Mark begs another question.
Just a request. I'd like to hear the but the but
Lord's outstanding impression of our Lord and personal saviour
Liberace. Hashtag good morning.
Hashtag very sexy. So for anyone who doesn't know,
Dave and I started doing a podcast together because we know
we agreed to start doing a podcast about five years ago.
And then as we were recording, they've put on the film Behind
the Candelabra with Michael Douglas and Matt Damon about the
flamboyant piano player Liberace.
And in it there's a scene where Liberace wakes up Matt Damon by
sucking his cock and from under the covers, he says.
And that became the podcast for so long.
Like, that's all we talked about.
And even I can do possible impressions of it.
But do you want to give people? And it's the wee noise he makes
at the start. Do you want to give people,
including Mark Beggs, a good morning?
Mark, here you go. Get ready.
Save this for your voicemail. Good morning.
Could you do me a favour and just add Mark on to the end of
that just to give him something top tier?
Good morning, Mark Myodonis. Enjoy Mark.
Jimmy Gordon says name me some things you and I would be
willing to do to get your food into the doors of a paramilitary
organisation. We're talking bottom barrel
jobs. So, yeah, say there was like
some sort of like say there was a war between aliens and the
paramilitaries, which by the way, this should be, they should
be the Belfast filaments, all the, all the paramilitaries have
to join together to fight we Green.
Aliens and I go. The aliens are taking over.
You know what? Aliens are taking over.
The aliens are taking over. What, what, what?
What is it that you want? Take us to your leader.
The aliens have bad. We put you in a green.
We have come here to show you the error of your ways.
Like we can also kill two birds with one stone because we're
going to put a love scene in between the head guy from the
Protestants and the head guy from the Catholics.
I've talked about this scene for a long time.
Hashtag, hashtag glory hole in the peace walls.
So this is the idea. That's the idea.
Paramilitaries versus aliens. I've said I've said too much.
I've said too much paramilitaries.
I'm so excited. Do you need to hear anymore or
do we just start shooting? I'll be around in 2 minutes.
Just grab a battery. To me and you also play the
aliens. Yeah, yeah, we just buy green
one suits and then paint our faces green.
OK, there you go. That's an exclusive that's going
to be on the way. Oh, good.
Oh, look, I don't even. I don't even know what.
Oh, yeah. Basically to answer that
question, imagine aliens had come down, paramilitaries
fighting aliens, but you were going to die unless you really
join the paramilitary. So what bottom level jaws would
you like? Would you be prepared to just
work in like the tuck shop for example?
Yeah, do the tuck shop, but I get the boys.
I do fag runs, you know what I mean?
Just so they could get we smokes and stuff.
I do bets for them, you know, go down to the.
Place in a bet. It's such a but like that's such
a thing. A guy just joining a
paramilitary would get sent to do Place in a football bet.
Yeah. Or a horse that no one.
I mean, it's a horse that they've already shot in the leg.
And I know you know what I mean. But yeah, I think the question
should be what would we do to get out of the paramilitary?
I don't think we won in it, you know what I mean?
Can I just say I came up with this observation earlier and I
think I've never been more accurate than anything I've
said. See people that call people
Falcon tramps, They themselves are what they're describing, or
what they're describing the sort of person they're describing.
Oh my God, look at that Falcon tramp.
It's the person who says that is scummier than the person they're
talking about. Yeah, they're projecting their
own insecurity onto the person. Falcon, Tramp.
We're calling this episode Aliens versus Paramilitaries,
and then we're writing that. I'm seeing some big cammies in
this as well by the way. Yeah, I could see, I could see a
retired weatherman making a. The only.
Person that can see of us is Frank and then Frank shows up.
Take her. Be good, baby.
Oh shit, yeah, whatever this finishes, we need to get
straight onto Google Docs and just start going back and forth
and writing this. Yeah, OK.
All right. I'm good with that.
All right, well, look, I got to I got to go.
I literally got to go and get home and start writing that, but
you can't make the breakfast through this Friday, but you're
going to do next Friday. I'm.
Going to do next Friday. I'm working this Friday but I
will see everyone next Friday. Very excited.
All right, cheers for coming on, ladies and gentlemen, Mr Iron
Butler. Find them on Twitter, Instagram,
Facebook. Irons love it.
I'm Butler. Online.
I'm Butler Online, but yeah. Not what I said.
Paramilitary be aliens. Love it.