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Prime big Deal days is coming 
October 8th and 9th, which can 

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lead to involuntary deal squeals
like the infamous deal on a new 

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massager squeal. 
Save big on prime big deal days 

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October 8th and 9th. 
Zippers, welcome to the Friday 

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00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,080
episode of the Tea With Me 
podcast. 

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With me, Shane Todd, it's the 
Friday episode. 

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You've got a Friday feeling. 
Who better to to give you that 

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weekend feeling than Dave 
Elliott? 

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Dave and I were friends for 
about 10 years. 

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But obviously we've had a 
massive fallout with the end of 

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the Boy Town podcast. 
We're going to go into that. 

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We're going to talk about what 
his dad's been getting up to 

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during lockdown. 
We're going to go into many 

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things. 
Shout out to the Peruvian Wolf 

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Boy as well. 
All will be explained, zippers. 

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Enjoy the podcast, keep sipping.
You want to support the podcast,

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00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:02,160
It's patreon.com/tea with Me 
podcast, patreon.com Tea with me

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podcast. 
You get the bonus episode every 

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Monday that no one else gets and
my stand up show from the 

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00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:11,160
waterfront hall last year is on 
there in its entirety for you to

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00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:13,560
enjoy. 
If you're a patreonpatreon.com 

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says tea with me podcast on with
the tea with me episode with 

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begrudgingly I'll said my best 
friend Dave Elliott. 

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What's crazy is this the first 
time you and I have talked and 

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what, four weeks since the end 
of the boys podcast? 

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Since you personally decided to 
bring down the empire that was 

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Boy Town, Yeah, this is the 
first time. 

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It was my birthday yesterday and
you didn't even wish me happy 

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birthday, so yeah. 
That's true. 

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Interesting, interesting. 
What's what's funny is quite a 

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lot of people think that we fell
out and that's why we started 

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doing the Boy Town podcast. 
Yeah, I actually got a message 

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last night about the gig from 
someone saying like the chain 

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not show because Yousef actually
fallen out. 

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And I said yeah, he's a piece of
shit. 

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That's what's happened. 
All right, because then I also 

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got a message in the mid life 
from the same guy going, yeah, 

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Dave messaged me and called you 
a piece of shit. 

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I guess you guys are really 
falling out. 

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Oh, I mean, what I would like to
say is I don't even remember the

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guy's name, but he himself, 
like, what is he doing? 

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Like, why? 
Why is he being such a little 

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tattletale that he's going 
around going by the way they've 

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called you piece of shit, you 
know? 

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Maybe he's trying to like Curry 
favour with one of us and hope 

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the Boy Town podcast will come 
back and he'll be. 

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Yeah, I mean, guess what he's 
done at the minute a bad job 

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with that. 
I mean, I think if Boy town, 

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it's not if it was ever going to
come back, it's not going to be 

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with him. 
It's not going to be with a 

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tattletale. 
Boy turns not about being a 

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tattletale Little gossipy bitch,
is it? 

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Well, you it looks like you're 
wearing a little red tie. 

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A little red tie No, I'm just 
just the top of that looks like 

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you're wearing a little red tie 
No, this is just obviously the 

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news crusaders kit because I got
it so a birthday yesterday and 

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the club weren't aware that I 
was such a massive fan. 

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So just this was sent me this 
this shirt, this. 

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Was the thing in boy town and 
we're going to go back in the in

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the boy town and talk about that
obviously. 

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But but you've developed this 
new fascination with Crusaders 

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football club, no semi 
professional football team in 

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North Belfast, you've never 
supported before and all of a 

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sudden you're wearing the new 
kit. 

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You're talking about your 
favourite players. 

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It's it's bizarre. 
You haven't a minute like 

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crisis. 
I mean, it isn't bizarre. 

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I mean, I just happened to have 
been I guess a closeted 

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Crusaders fan because I know 
like. 

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Did you find? 
Yeah, I did. 

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It's fine for people to be, you 
know, people are like, oh, 

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coming out as as gay or whatever
is tough and you know, and 

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people are all supportive, 
rightly so for that. 

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But I find that whenever you're 
coming out as a supporter of an 

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Irish League team, it's it's 
equally more. 

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Taboos. 
It is taboo, especially here, 

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you know what I mean? 
It's it, it is what it is. 

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And I, as you know, I've been a 
Crusader supporter for as long 

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as I've lived. 
And yeah, it's it's a good time.

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I'm excited for the new season. 
Obviously in Wilson coming on 

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board is going to really. 
So BBC Sport, before this, let 

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me ask you this. 
Yes, just tell me the honest 

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story behind the top. 
Did you just buy the new top or 

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did you get a pod for you? 
Generally got it sent by 

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theatres right now, you swear. 
No, no, no. 

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Yeah, Crusaders Football Club 
did not send you the new shirt. 

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They did. 
I am the only guy that gets sent

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local football team kits. 
So why are you now getting 

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involved in this? 
Because Crusaders know that I am

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a super fan and it's like, 
what's the point of being a 

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super fan and wearing an old 
kit? 

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So, so they contacted you and 
said, Dave, we'd love to send 

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you a kit. 
Yeah, so we saw a clip, whatever

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someone had clipped from podcast
where you were wearing an older 

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shirt and you're talking about 
Crusaders and we're going to get

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out. 
Would you like it? 

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And I said I was going to buy it
myself, obviously. 

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Anyway, with the shorts and the 
socks and the all the regalia, 

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the training warm up gear and 
they just sort of like now we'll

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fire one in the post days. 
So here we are. 

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Hate that but how come I didn't 
see an influencer post from you 

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being like just want to give a 
major. 

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Because because I'm not an 
influencer. 

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I am. 
I am a talented comedian, comedy

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writer, Paul Caster. 
You know I am that. 

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I don't have to be on promoting 
things. 

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It's like, it's like Crusaders 
don't need their brand pushed. 

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You know The Crusaders are 
already a global. 

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They're not called The Crusaders
I. 

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Didn't say they're The Crusaders
head Crusaders. 

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You said you know The Crusaders 
and this is all boy down. 

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Stop. 
Individually, the team are The 

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Crusaders because they are, each
player is a Crusader, right, You

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know, and there's of course The 
Crusaders rugby league team, 

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which I may, our rugby union 
team, sorry, I may start 

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supporting as it's all part of 
the same brand. 

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It isn't. 
But it is. 

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We we should embrace that. 
But yeah, it's it is what it is.

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Right, there's so much I want to
talk to you about, but let me 

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first chat to you about stand up
coming back. 

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First and foremost, I need to 
point something out just for the

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people watching the video 
podcast. 

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I got some new gear for, you 
know, for the podcast, and I 

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have a camera. 
So my camera is here, right? 

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But my computer screen's here. 
Your screen's looking good. 

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Yeah, so that's what's going on.
So I'm how do you do that at 

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this camera? 
And you're here, so if you see 

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me looking down, I'm looking 
here. 

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We mug when you're talking, you 
know? 

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What's great is we are just to 
3030 year old guys that don't 

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know technology. 
So I have no idea how you're 

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doing that, but I enjoy. 
It but hey man, I've got 

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lighting so I can set the mood 
if I want to. 

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So it'd be like, oh boom, it's 
gone red like The Crusaders we 

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think. 
That what else can you do? 

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And what do Crusaders play 
football on? 

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4G What colour is it? 
Green. 

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Set more fun. 
There we go. 

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A bit of a hue and if you're 
feeling a little bit dabba, 

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dabba, dabba dye, what colour 
are you feeling? 

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Purple. 
Oh, I can do that. 

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But yeah, you got it wrong. 
I can drop a blue in there too. 

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I'll just stick to the normal 
white because we all know if 

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it's not white. 
That is, that's great. 

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I mean, I'm very, very pleased 
for you. 

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Let me talk to you about Pug 
Ugliese came back last night. 

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Stand up is back. 
You're a comedy club. 

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Is it good to get the legs 
stretched again? 

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What's your opinion on, do you 
think your opinion on before was

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you weren't going to do stand up
again until it was like properly

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back? 
Like you didn't want to know 

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about these garden gigs, didn't 
want to do anything. 

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You were like no, it needs to be
proper. 

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Yeah. 
But I mean, I think when you are

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a talented good act, you should 
be able to do talented good 

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venues that are appropriate for 
the ACT that you do like you 

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wouldn't talented. 
Venues. 

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Yeah, you. 
You wouldn't say to Liberace 

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come and tickle my Casio, would 
you? 

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You would say, listen, it's 
going to be a grand piano. 

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I think you would have. 
Get them in, get them tickling 

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the ivories and improper piano 
and you're going to get the best

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out of them. 
Do you know what I mean? 

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Like one thing that I am 
definitely against, I don't know

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why with Trump definitely 
against, is the thought of doing

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a gig in a car park in front of 
people in cars. 

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Like that's, that's enough for 
me. 

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I was up for it, but I'm glad 
that that never had to happen. 

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But I knew it was willing to do 
it. 

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But it didn't have to happen. 
But you had pugs last night. 

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Seemed like a very nice time. 
But just on the other gigs, like

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the gig that Victoria Angelino 
does, it's in his back garden. 

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It was very, it looked like a 
good gig to create as well. 

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It looked, I loved it. 
I would have done that but just 

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the timings didn't suit in that 
it was my dinner time all the 

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time so. 
I just couldn't do it. 

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But it looked like it looked 
like a good setup, to be fair. 

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And the limelight was was good 
as well the other week. 

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I enjoyed it. 
But there's just something a wee

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bit, I think something different
about last night was that it was

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a new venue and a totally new 
setup. 

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And obviously I at the beginning
was a bit like, Oh no, 

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everything could go wrong here 
because the new setup, it's a 

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new, new venue. 
You haven't tried the sound 

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00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,400
before. 
Like there's a lot of factors 

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that are important to making a 
good stand up. 

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Like, and I thought, you know, 
being outside, the laughs might 

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just disappear into the night 
sky and and not resonate, but it

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was brilliant. 
It was, the sound was brilliant,

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the acts were all brilliant and 
the audience were great and 

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like, 'cause obviously now the 
table service didn't bother 

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00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:30,680
because we're outside. 
So it was great. 

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00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:32,200
I. 
Was saying on the on the last 

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podcast of the podcast before. 
I mean, how good will be when 

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we're able to go to something as
a punter, whether it's comedy or

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00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,520
music like you get shown? 
Your Crusaders match. 

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00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,080
No, you get shown to your table.
You always have it. 

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00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:47,040
You always have a seat table 
servers, no cues at the bar. 

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00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:48,600
It's great. 
Can I just point out before 

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00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,840
going further for everyone, the 
video podcast on you, This is 

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just a little spot, like a 
little pimple on my lip. 

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00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,280
Just in case you worried that 
you can't kiss me at the radio 

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show tomorrow night. 
You definitely can. 

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00:09:58,920 --> 00:09:59,840
You're not going to get 
anything. 

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00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,360
It's just a little. 
That's just a little spot. 

206
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:02,280
Right. 
OK. 

207
00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:04,600
As long as it's not like some 
sort of STI or something. 

208
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:08,960
You don't necessarily, by the 
way, get STIs from just doing 

209
00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:11,840
other sexual things. 
You can just get them, you know?

210
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:13,720
I mean, you can just have. 
What like you apply, you can 

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00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:15,240
apply for it. 
Correct. 

212
00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:18,120
You can just what's it's kind of
like it's kind of like you can 

213
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:21,440
get an STI somewhere to the way 
you can get in the audience for 

214
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:23,400
the blame game. 
You know, you just you just put 

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00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,360
in for it the ticket random and 
neither Boom, boom, boom, you 

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00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:27,800
get the STI. 
That's it. 

217
00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:30,200
Like the sex and. 
The sex offenders register 

218
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,280
always sounded to me like 
something that you know they 

219
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,360
would they would run away prizes
to to enter. 

220
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:38,040
Yeah, and speaking actually of 
the blame game and STI's, the 

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00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:41,480
last time I was talking to to 
Tim and Gary, he was actually 

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00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:44,120
telling me he was going through 
quite a bit of treatment for a 

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00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:47,080
variety of STI's that he that he
has. 

224
00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:51,200
So I'm just want to say on this 
podcast, on this forum, big 

225
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:53,720
shout out to Tim McGarry. 
I'm a big fan of his. 

226
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:57,040
And also, you know, we're, we're
friends now, I would say, but. 

227
00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:00,880
I just want to say I just. 
I just want to say if everybody 

228
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:03,840
there on Twitter can just let 
him know these are behind him in

229
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:07,280
his recovery from the multitude 
of STI's that he has, please 

230
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:09,080
how? 
Many would you? 

231
00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:13,040
How many would you say he has? 
Well, the ones he, he only told 

232
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,840
me about the 8:00, but he said 
there's still a few more. 

233
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:19,720
He hasn't been for additional 
tests to see what the extra ones

234
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,920
could be. 
But he was like, it got to the 

235
00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:25,040
point where I had to stop and 
say to him, it's not Pokémon, 

236
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,160
all right, it's not a badge of 
honour. 

237
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:31,320
Stop, tell me what you've got. 
But he just kept going. 

238
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:33,440
I said all right mate. 
Well keep that to yourself for 

239
00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:36,160
sure. 
But I mean send him my love to 

240
00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:38,200
them. 
Hope he hope he gets better 

241
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,560
soon. 
Yeah, look, let's and. 

242
00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:42,960
It's good that he can go back 
into chemists again, that's all 

243
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:44,520
I can say. 
Thank God for that. 

244
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,080
Did your dog it sort of know he 
was waiting to find out if the 

245
00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:53,360
glory holes were open again? 
Oh well, no, he actually was 

246
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:56,040
hanging about with him a bit. 
So, you know, I'm a wee bit 

247
00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:58,360
worried that, you know, he might
have just three. 

248
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:02,920
You know, whatever those two get
up to caught something. 

249
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:04,760
You know what? 
What do you think the general 

250
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:09,240
etiquette was on like, you know,
glory holes, you know, dog in 

251
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:13,000
spots? 
Do you think that you think over

252
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,120
lockdown there was like a bit of
a, you know, a message went 

253
00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:18,760
around being like, listen, let's
knock us in the head for a 

254
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:20,240
couple of weeks. 
Or do you think those guys were 

255
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,840
living in the age? 
I think, listen, the, I think 

256
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:28,120
the from what from what I've 
heard, I think the glory hole 

257
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:31,880
scene, you know, it's 
underground anyway, the kind of 

258
00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:37,600
there, there are certain maybe 
health and safety breaches 

259
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:41,640
already with the glory hole way 
of life. 

260
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:46,280
So I know, I mean, no, it's not,
it's not happening. 

261
00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:49,080
But what I imagine would happen 
would be you would get a very 

262
00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:52,640
cold shock when you go through 
the glory hole initially because

263
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,880
someone's going to be spread 
sanitizer on it. 

264
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,400
So that's going to be like, 
hello, do that. 

265
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,440
And then it'll feel a bit 
different because there'll be a 

266
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,920
mask in the way. 
So it'll just be, you know, kind

267
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,560
of like, you know, whenever you 
were younger, used to own 

268
00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:07,440
pillows and stuff, it'll 
probably be what, a bit like 

269
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:10,200
that, I would say. 
So, yeah. 

270
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:13,160
I mean, what I could do? 
I mean, I could, sorry. 

271
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:18,760
I could. 
I could ask him, you know, what 

272
00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,880
the the protocols and the glory 
goes or like because our like, 

273
00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:27,040
because I know he he works, he 
works there and I'll ask him and

274
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,720
see. 
Well you so you busy admitted 

275
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:32,520
there that when you were young 
you used to used to humble what?

276
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:34,800
No, just guys. 
Just guys. 

277
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:39,440
No, just guys I know did not. 
I'm not saying when I was 

278
00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:40,920
younger I used to just hump 
guys. 

279
00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:44,840
I did. 
But that wasn't exclusively it, 

280
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:46,760
you know? 
If you were in Game of Thrones, 

281
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,960
your name would have been 
Feather Cock because you're 

282
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:53,320
humping so many pillows. 
Yeah, feather tip. 

283
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:59,440
Yeah, I have feather tip. 
Yeah, that would be would be a 

284
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:05,360
lot. 
Of fun feather tip. 

285
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:10,440
And I would always, I would 
always have a quill and I would 

286
00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:12,320
tickle people with it. 
Why do they call you? 

287
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,680
For being prepared, if you stand
overnight in further tips house,

288
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,520
you might wake up with a wet 
head. 

289
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,560
Over me. 
You got COVID. 

290
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:27,160
Oh yeah, I know. 
Here I meant to ask you, have 

291
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:29,240
you done the test? 
Have you had a COVID test? 

292
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:33,240
Oh, Cova test say no, I've been 
there before the umbrella 

293
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,080
things, but uncomfortable. 
But yeah, it was weird. 

294
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:40,040
I went I went to my doctor to 
get a Cova test and he just kept

295
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:42,920
taking cotton buds up my heart. 
So I don't know whether that's 

296
00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:46,200
that's the right test or not, 
but I mean, I haven't had an 

297
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:49,480
actual COVID test yet because I 
haven't had any symptoms of just

298
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:51,240
being well. 
What's, you know, what's weird 

299
00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:54,560
is you're the most like 
susceptible guy to any yes, 

300
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,240
that's going about like. 
Yeah, because I put myself in 

301
00:14:57,240 --> 00:15:00,760
the face of germs, you know, I'm
always around things that spread

302
00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:04,040
germs, you know, so it is what 
it is. 

303
00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:06,960
I'm surprised you haven't 
actually got got sicker and 

304
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:11,560
since you've been note since 
you've had the baby, you know, 

305
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:15,360
because obviously he's not going
to like, I don't know, like he's

306
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:16,880
a big boy. 
So he might be going to school. 

307
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:20,400
I don't know. 
But like once I found my 

308
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:24,080
daughter started going to the 
nursery, I was just getting sick

309
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,360
all the time because she was 
just around all these stinking 

310
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:27,440
we kids. 
It was horrible. 

311
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:31,920
But thank God, thank God for the
pandemic, but she's not going to

312
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:35,720
school anymore. 
Thank God for the disaster that 

313
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,120
has been these few months 
because I've not had a cold. 

314
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:40,920
It's been terrific. 
Yeah, on the upside, Dave, 

315
00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:42,480
Ellie, that's another cold. 
Correct. 

316
00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:44,720
I mean, and they don't report 
that, you know, they don't put 

317
00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:46,960
that in the news because I 
think, you know, that would 

318
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:50,480
share a lot of people up if they
thought I was, I was the better.

319
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:52,040
You don't think I'll help a lot 
of people? 

320
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,640
Zippers, let me enter the 
podcast very quickly to tell you

321
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:06,160
that we have a brand new sponsor
as well as Manscape sponsoring 

322
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:09,520
some episodes. 
We also have drum roll, horny 

323
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:13,720
tease, horny tease. 
Let me tell you, you can have 

324
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:18,040
tease or you can have fine 
tease, and that's what horny are

325
00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:20,000
doing. 
And I mean fine in a sense of 

326
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:23,720
like Downton Abbey, like fine 
tea, someone's fine China. 

327
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:26,000
I don't mean it's just fine. 
I mean, it's unreal. 

328
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:30,520
The Hibernian blend. 
They just sent me a big package 

329
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,720
of stuff here, the Paris 
flavoured black tea. 

330
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:38,000
These guys know what they're at.
Special English breakfast. 

331
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,680
Now they could have just done an
English breakfast, but they said

332
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:43,840
no, we want to make it special. 
What else have I got here? 

333
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:47,400
Sungulo Broken. 
Now that's the thing, That's 

334
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,080
that fancy. 
I don't even know what that 

335
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:51,200
means. 
So we're in a different category

336
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:54,280
here. 
We've got the CBD cinnamon 

337
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:57,680
spice. 
Did you say CBD in tea under 

338
00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:59,320
that rhyme? 
Yes. 

339
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:04,680
What else have we got here? 
Scottish mourn Listen horny and 

340
00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:10,319
sons tea are in the use a famous
boy town adjective bespoke. 

341
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,800
They've got a hemp range as 
well, which is brand new and 

342
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,800
they essentially have tea for 
the more extravagant zipper. 

343
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:22,000
Go check themouthorny.com or the
hempdivision.com, which are like

344
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:26,160
Joy Division but more tea based.
Use the promo code tea with me 

345
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:30,440
20 and that'll give you 20% off 
all products and horny tea. 

346
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:34,840
So horny.com tea with me 20 all 
one word is the promo code and 

347
00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:39,480
you can just get Harris tea. 
Bonjour, wee wee for the zipper 

348
00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:41,240
who just wants to take it up a 
gear. 

349
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,520
This is where you go horny tea 
on with the ball. 

350
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:52,280
What's your take on like the the
news? 

351
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,320
Like, do you think it's all fake
news or do you? 

352
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,720
I mean, does Dave Elliot still 
trust mainstream media? 

353
00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:00,520
I mean, I'm going to go as far 
as to say, yes, I do trust an 

354
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:04,120
element of news, but at the same
time, I think there's this, 

355
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:09,240
there's almost this subculture 
coming up now that people want 

356
00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:13,240
to believe the fake news or if 
somethings reported that people 

357
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,160
don't like, they're like fake 
news. 

358
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,960
Do you know? 
I mean, it's like it's very like

359
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:21,360
I feel like I might start 
adopting that approach to like 

360
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:23,800
when I go to the doctors, they 
say, oh, your blood pressure's 

361
00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:26,440
fake news, mate. 
You know, you need to stop. 

362
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:27,640
You need to stop eating those 
tubs. 

363
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:32,000
Fake news. 
I think you'll just find I stood

364
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,680
up too quick. 
All right, music, but that's 

365
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:37,000
will be your blood pressure. 
Wait, listen, you're CBS and 

366
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:41,320
they'll have it. 
So I just feel like people are 

367
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:46,720
at home with their their laptop,
such an old guy at home with our

368
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:49,640
laptops and their mobile phones 
and they're looking up stuff and

369
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:52,200
it's feeding into their mind and
they're going through lolly. 

370
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:55,600
And that's I think people are 
are just looking for 

371
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,720
conspiracies and fake news and 
all this drama. 

372
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,720
When I'm just happy enough, you 
know, we get my papers on Sunday

373
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,440
and just really, you know, as 
long as I get my papers on 

374
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,320
Sunday and get a good Kip at the
end of the day. 

375
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:09,960
The reason you know our local 
newspapers aren't fake news is 

376
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:11,880
because the stories are far too 
specific. 

377
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:15,440
Yes, yes they're not. 
Trying to drive a big overall 

378
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,840
agenda. 
It's basically like, oh fellas, 

379
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:22,280
Budgie got smacked the macabre. 
Yeah, I mean, I read a story 

380
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:26,880
today about a guy that I 
thought, you know, probably a 

381
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,760
light sentence of some guy from 
North Belfast. 

382
00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:32,760
I mean, I'm not a Crusaders fan.
He's a Cliftonville side, I 

383
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:35,080
assume, because these guys would
do stuff like that. 

384
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:41,160
And he ended up like, basically 
his dog bit somebody and then he

385
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:42,480
just brought the dog home and 
killed it. 

386
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,880
Will Hammer. 
Jesus fuck yeah. 

387
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,160
I. 
Mean and they and I just thought

388
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:51,240
I don't like him because I like 
dogs and I like hammers they're 

389
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:54,240
very useful around the house, 
but I don't like whenever 

390
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,520
they're being used for things 
like that and you know what else

391
00:19:56,520 --> 00:20:00,400
I don't like and I feel like I'm
one of the few people these days

392
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,640
that don't like this because I 
don't know what the fuck is 

393
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:06,120
going on with a lot of people 
but like. 

394
00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:09,720
You know, videos that go around 
that are just completely 

395
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:14,200
horrific and and stinking like 
the moment went to meet mate, 

396
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,600
we've seen this. 
And it was like these two lads, 

397
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:19,760
it looked like they were in like
a takeaway restaurant CCTV 

398
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,960
camera. 
This guy just knocked the other 

399
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,800
guy out then just got on top of 
him repeatedly punched in the 

400
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,600
face. 
Like if I was in like the UFC or

401
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:27,840
something, you have a ref to 
stop. 

402
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:29,600
The guy was just flat out and 
conscious. 

403
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:33,520
And then the guy showing the 
meat then went, and this is the 

404
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:34,680
phrase that I wouldn't use for 
this. 

405
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,040
He went, gets better. 
And I went, I'm going to say it 

406
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:39,880
doesn't, you know, I'm going to 
say it's going to get take a 

407
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:41,480
horrific turn for the worst 
here. 

408
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,960
And then what the guy did was 
just turn the guy who was 

409
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:47,520
unconscious on this front and 
like get him in an arm bar and 

410
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,080
just break both his arms like 
this. 

411
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:52,120
The kid at his elbow. 
I thought, who the fucks 

412
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:54,680
watching this, sharing this, 
like enjoying it? 

413
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:56,480
Who looks at that and goes, 
that's great, correct? 

414
00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:59,120
Well, do you remember when we 
were younger there was probably 

415
00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:00,960
still exist. 
There was a website called E 

416
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:05,400
Bombs World and weird guys in 
your class would always go here 

417
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:09,360
and look at this and I remember 
getting shown a video of a girl 

418
00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:11,200
doing diarrhoea and then 
drinking it. 

419
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:16,680
And yeah, that's and then. 
The exact well a similar video 

420
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:20,240
was a chef in the restaurant I 
used working. 

421
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:22,000
He tried to show me when I was 
like 15. 

422
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:24,600
I thought you're going to say he
was just eating his own shit. 

423
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:28,960
Like frying it up. 
He was making like a crumble 

424
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:30,640
layer, right? 
Really Artisan. 

425
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,080
Really, really season. 
Sprinkling sweet corn on. 

426
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:38,920
He tried to show me that video 
and I was like, oh, what is 

427
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:40,160
that? 
Because I just, like, turned 

428
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,000
away. 
He's like, it's girls in their 

429
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,480
own shit. 
And I was like, oh, and then he 

430
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:46,400
goes here. 
And by the way, never has there 

431
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:49,160
been more of an understatement 
that goes there's probably 

432
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,120
easier ways to make £100. 
I was like, yeah. 

433
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:56,080
Yeah, but like I remember a 
website called Steak and Cheese.

434
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,880
Yeah, so yeah. 
And there are people were just 

435
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:02,120
watching weird stuff and that 
and I remember 1 like I don't 

436
00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:03,600
know if it's the same video 
you're talking about. 

437
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:07,680
There is an infamous Internet 
video that I think maybe started

438
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:10,600
this whole grotesque trend 
called 2 Girls 1 Cup. 

439
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:12,840
Yeah, genuinely might have seen 
it. 

440
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:16,320
Never that might, but Long story
short, spoiler alert for anyone 

441
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:19,560
who hasn't seen it, it involves 
2 girls eating their own shit 

442
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,400
and yeah, it's gross and 
whatever happened. 

443
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,640
Who are they like and what 
happened to them and how much? 

444
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,880
What's going to be awkward is 
they they will probably end up 

445
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:31,640
like, you know, working a job in
the future and someone, some 

446
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:34,040
fella will be like looking over 
their EQ because their desk. 

447
00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:37,800
So if you, if you were one of 
those girls, plan for the job 

448
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:41,120
and you know, I was interviewing
you for insurance sales and I 

449
00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:44,560
was like, you know, great to 
have you here and fantastic if 

450
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:47,440
you applied for the job, had a 
lot of interest in it, but just 

451
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:49,840
like to find it a way bit about 
your previous previous work 

452
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:51,760
experience, maybe some jobs 
you've done in the past. 

453
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:57,440
I was, I was, I was an actress 
for just just one film. 

454
00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,960
What you just did, you just did 
one, all right. 

455
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:01,480
Yes. 
What was it? 

456
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:06,200
It was, it was a tale about it. 
Just myself and my friend. 

457
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:08,840
Just great. 
Just hanging, hanging out and, 

458
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:13,360
you know, having essentially 
again, obviously just having a 

459
00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:16,040
meal, you know, just two 
friends, just. 

460
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,880
Eating dinner right And what was
on the menu? 

461
00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:25,040
And what was there? 
I take dinner, probably more, I 

462
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:26,160
guess. 
Dessert, you could say. 

463
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:31,160
More afters, definitely, yeah. 
What was what we having? 

464
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:36,320
I mean, you could, you could say
it was Angel delight, chocolate 

465
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:40,440
Angel delight. 
You know, I know we all know the

466
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:45,240
old phrase potato, potato, 
tomato, tomato, Angel delight, 

467
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,360
human excrement. 
And yeah, so it was it was your 

468
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:50,360
Angel delight or. 
You're going to have to put up 

469
00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:52,280
with a bit of shit around this 
office you're in. 

470
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:54,760
Listen, there's someone that can
take it. 

471
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:57,640
It's me. 
So there was that video and 

472
00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:02,880
obviously that was grotesque. 
And then again, why is everyone 

473
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:05,160
always have this one mate who 
will be the mate that ends? 

474
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:06,880
Up, you know, I think I know who
your mate is. 

475
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:08,000
Do. 
I know, yeah. 

476
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:11,360
Yes, he is. 
He would be a farm animal that 

477
00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:16,600
can fly. 
So so he. 

478
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:19,440
He was like, oh I've seen that, 
I've seen that. 

479
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:21,320
You've seen that mate. 
What about one guy? 

480
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:24,800
1 cup and I'm thinking to myself
right this is going to be 1 dude

481
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,360
eating shit. 
He couldn't get a mate to join. 

482
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:31,000
No, I'm going to be like, it's a
hard sell. 

483
00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:36,000
You know. 
Like, what are you going to do? 

484
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:39,080
Well, I was thinking of shitting
into a job, bro. 

485
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:40,840
And then you'd eat it. 
But I'm showing the. 

486
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:44,320
Football too. 
So that was fine. 

487
00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:47,400
And then he was showing it to me
and I was like, and I said I 

488
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:48,800
don't want to watch anything 
with shit. 

489
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:52,600
And he went, he goes like he did
it like a really dodgy salesman.

490
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,040
I went I don't want to watch 
anyone eating shit. 

491
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:58,840
And he goes, it's not shit. 
And I went, well in that case 

492
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:00,120
I'm sure it's going to be 
hilarious. 

493
00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:04,000
So it was, it was this guy. 
It was just like he was just 

494
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,600
squatting down and you could 
sort of, you know, from behind 

495
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:09,200
so you can see his balls and 
they're hanging down on his bum 

496
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,360
hole or whatever. 
And then he sort of squatted 

497
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:14,400
onto, it was like, you know, one
of those three pots you get in 

498
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,080
science class. 
Was it one of those 3? 

499
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:17,440
And it was quite, quite a. 
Big. 

500
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,680
Quite a wide girth. 
So he must have, you know, had 

501
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:23,600
his bum quite open, you know, 
must have been warm in his 

502
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:24,280
house. 
I'm saying. 

503
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:27,240
So he was he sort of like 
squatted on it and then this 

504
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:31,320
like this like sort of like jug 
just was going up his bum. 

505
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:34,680
And then at the time of me, it's
going wait for it, wait for it. 

506
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:36,640
And I'm expecting like we 
plopped the drop into it or 

507
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:38,080
something. 
It broke. 

508
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:45,040
So the glass thing crushed in 
his ass and like obviously 

509
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:48,960
sharded inside and all this 
blood just started running out 

510
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,120
of his bum. 
And I just at that moment, even 

511
00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:54,120
now, he's thinking about this, 
the worst thing, the worst thing

512
00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:56,080
and I could seem. 
Disgusted by that. 

513
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:59,520
Absolutely disgusted, but you 
know, I hope that guy's all 

514
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:01,120
right because I'm going to say 
ask. 

515
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:02,480
Him next time you go to your 
parents. 

516
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:08,760
House yeah he would require 
surgery for sure but you know it

517
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,640
leads me on to the next thing 
have you ever seen like just an.

518
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:12,920
Article. 
I don't know what that is going 

519
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:13,560
to be. 
I mean. 

520
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,880
This article it's it's better 
banter than that stuff That's 

521
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:18,240
horrific. 
I don't want to see that kind of

522
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,840
stuff, but what it do like this,
you know, whoever see those 

523
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:24,280
X-rays of things that just 
appear in people's bum love? 

524
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:26,800
That, yeah. 
A lot of time for that. 

525
00:26:27,120 --> 00:26:29,200
You ever see the bit Ricky 
Gervais does about the guy that 

526
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:30,880
fell in the ketchup? 
Ketchup ball, Yeah. 

527
00:26:31,120 --> 00:26:33,280
Yeah, he was basically. 
Long story short, he's like off,

528
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:35,720
went to hospital, ketchup bottle
up was ours. 

529
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,120
He's like, oh, what, 1/2 fair? 
Huge story. 

530
00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:41,560
To be fair, I went to I went to 
the shop, I got my groceries. 

531
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:43,920
My house was locked. 
I climbed the house, my belt got

532
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:46,760
caught in the gutter. 
I fell landed on my shop and 

533
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,720
ketchup bottle and the doctor 
was like, oh, that's sweet. 

534
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,680
But it didn't know shop sold 
ketchup balls or condoms on 

535
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,840
them. 
And that's another question. 

536
00:26:55,000 --> 00:27:00,120
Why do people think that putting
the condom on something is going

537
00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:02,920
to make it any better to get out
of your ass again? 

538
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:05,960
Like surely it's it's just not 
going to work. 

539
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:07,360
You're popping it the whole way 
in. 

540
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:12,400
Don't know, I don't know, but 
but that leads me on to how did 

541
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:16,400
we first meet? 
Well, let's go, let's go, let's 

542
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:21,280
go back because we we could do 
5050 hour podcast easily, but. 

543
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,840
And listen, I have to get my, I 
have to get my dinner here. 

544
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,720
So I mean what? 
What are you having shit? 

545
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:31,200
Yeah, a big piece of my own 
shit. 

546
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:32,760
It's actually just in the pan 
right now. 

547
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:37,640
Delicious. 
Oh dear. 

548
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:39,960
Swiss roll. 
Oh, gross. 

549
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:41,360
Vegetable rolling. 
Worse. 

550
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:49,640
So yeah, we met I think at a gig
like initially 10. 

551
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:56,320
Yeah. 
But didn't we meet at the We met

552
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:59,200
before the Edinburgh Fringe, but
not we didn't really. 

553
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:02,320
So you were in a sketch group. 
You were in a sketch group 

554
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:07,080
called FNT Friday Night Therapy 
who annoyingly did a lot of 

555
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:09,680
shows on a Saturday for a group 
of Friday night therapy. 

556
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,920
But you were set up to like to 
try and be like Saturday Night 

557
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:16,440
Live and be on TV. 
And I mean, listen, I'm going to

558
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:20,120
say a spoiler. 
We didn't, you know, we didn't 

559
00:28:20,120 --> 00:28:22,960
emulate Saturday Night Live. 
It's been running for like 70 

560
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:25,320
years. 
We lasted what, May 2 years? 

561
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:27,440
Yeah. 
It was a fun Rd. 

562
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,120
And you and I probably hit it 
off, especially at the Edinburgh

563
00:28:30,120 --> 00:28:33,440
Fringe Festival, because we were
like, we're it's rare that you 

564
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:34,920
have two comedians that like 
that. 

565
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:36,720
Kind of like football. 
Yeah. 

566
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,040
But we talked about that. 
We're from the same town. 

567
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:41,920
Yeah. 
And over that and just to just 

568
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:45,120
to cute young guys. 
Yeah, no, I was it just two 

569
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:47,080
young guys just out on the 
scene. 

570
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:50,720
What I really what I what the 
reason I fell in love with you 

571
00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:56,320
is because you I love rap music 
and and I rap music, rap music, 

572
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:58,560
all right. 
Guys, I mean, I just do all 

573
00:28:58,600 --> 00:28:59,480
this. 
What is this rap? 

574
00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:01,480
Music. 
It's all about music made by 

575
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:04,640
informants I. 
Mean listen, I'm there for that 

576
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:07,280
you. 
Know, but I remember I love it 

577
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,720
when a rapper wears like a white
toilet around his neck, like a 

578
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:11,560
bigger kind of rap. 
Scapetechi easy. 

579
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:12,440
He was not. 
Doesn't work. 

580
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:13,720
Scapetechi, I didn't. 
Work. 

581
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:14,360
Nearly. 
Nearly. 

582
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:16,960
Easy scapetechi. 
Nah, doesn't fucking. 

583
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:21,120
Sake But but I really like it 
when a rapper wears like a white

584
00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:22,640
toy when he's doing like a live 
performance. 

585
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:25,600
He's hot and sweaty. 
And you just were walking around

586
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:27,360
Edinburgh. 
It was a particularly hot summer

587
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:30,360
with a white toy around your 
neck every day, just like 

588
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:31,960
dabbing off little bits of 
sweat. 

589
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:35,040
And I remember going, that's a 
weird guy, I'm a weird guy. 

590
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:39,240
We should be best friends. 
Yeah, I mean, I feel like I'm 

591
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:43,640
one of these people that I like 
to put comfort first. 

592
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:46,360
You know, I feel like being 
comfortable, you can be your 

593
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:47,560
true self when you're 
comfortable. 

594
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:49,720
There's no point me just walking
right out of a sweating buckets 

595
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,560
when I can sell this towel and 
just keep myself, you know, 

596
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:55,120
looking sweet. 
Because if it like if it goes up

597
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:56,880
by a degree, you're out of your 
comfort zone. 

598
00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:00,280
Yeah, I mean, listen, I'm, I'm 
not, I'm not meant to be in the 

599
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:01,760
heat. 
You know, I'm not. 

600
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:04,840
I should probably be dwelling in
in water at all times, would be 

601
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:06,400
my my natural habitat. 
But. 

602
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:07,720
You're the opposite of Prince 
Andrew. 

603
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:10,040
Sweat wise. 
Sweat wise. 

604
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:11,920
Oh, right, okay, I was going to 
say I'm also. 

605
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:12,640
Learn a lot. 
No. 

606
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:14,560
No. 
I was going to say also, I'm not

607
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:18,080
a I'm not a family opposite. 
I'm in the old old people like 

608
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:21,400
the older the better. 
Ideally death, but that's just 

609
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:26,000
my preference. 
But but you were, yeah, you were

610
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:27,960
weird, obviously, because you're
you. 

611
00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:31,040
But I would you would have been,
you were probably looking at me 

612
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:33,240
being like, it does stand up and
like it. 

613
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:36,120
I would have opened for you guys
quite a lot, which is a coup. 

614
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:40,400
A coup, A coup, Yeah. 
And that, and you probably 

615
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:44,760
aspire. 
No, because you were very thin. 

616
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:49,440
And I always thought that I 
could never be that thin ever. 

617
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:52,440
And yeah, because I'm a fat guy,
so it would be hard. 

618
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:56,280
But like, I my first memories 
was like you and and Sean 

619
00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:58,880
Haggerty just scooting around on
scooters and I was like. 

620
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:00,240
These are we bought micro 
scooters. 

621
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:02,600
What are these guys doing? 
You know and. 

622
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:06,560
It was always like a mile from 
where we live to Edinburgh. 

623
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:08,600
Now with hindsight, we should 
have bought bicycles. 

624
00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:09,960
Definitely. 
Yeah. 

625
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:11,960
Micro scooters were like 12 LB 
in Argos. 

626
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,200
So we got micro scooters and we 
used to just wheel about. 

627
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:16,880
But I mean, I'm going to say 
Edinburgh is not the most 

628
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:19,040
conducive place for micro 
scooters. 

629
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:21,720
A lot of pebbly sort of cobbled 
streets and things. 

630
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:23,800
It's not really ideal for that, 
is it? 

631
00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:25,480
I think I only used mine for a 
day. 

632
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:27,160
I think it was a cracker idea at
the time. 

633
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:30,240
And then I was carrying a micro 
scooter about and one day I was 

634
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:33,040
micro scooter and about and run 
into Roy Walker, the famous 

635
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:36,560
stand up from catch phrase. 
And I was chatting to him and 

636
00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:38,040
he's like, why do you have a 
micro scooter? 

637
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:41,120
And I was like, oh, it's broke. 
Roy and Roy Walker fixed my 

638
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:42,360
micro scooter. 
True story. 

639
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:44,760
I mean. 
A great a great anecdote there. 

640
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:47,200
But yeah, you know, you would 
have been better off with, you 

641
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:49,960
know, one of those things that 
like, I mean, I don't want to. 

642
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:52,040
Yeah, that. 
Well, obviously, but I don't 

643
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:54,760
want to like, you know, 
stereotype people here. 

644
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:56,760
But, you know, I'm going to say 
it's a thing that I would 

645
00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:59,160
associate mostly with Asian 
guys. 

646
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:02,040
And it's, you know, essentially 
like a one wheel looks like a 

647
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:05,120
briefcase where you stand on it 
and then just scoot it out. 

648
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:07,480
Like the only guys I've ever 
seen scooting on those have been

649
00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:10,080
Asian guys and always have 
briefcases and they're going 

650
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:13,920
somewhere in a hurry. 
And I think normally speaking, 

651
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:19,400
Asian people are like the 
smartest, most advanced in terms

652
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:20,880
of technology. 
They're known for that. 

653
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:23,000
So they've invented this, like, 
is it a briefcase? 

654
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:27,920
Is it a Electro electronic 
unicycle? 

655
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:29,520
I don't know what it is, but 
it's impressive. 

656
00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:31,960
And I think that would have been
sweeter than in the micro 

657
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:34,000
scooters. 
In the micro scooter and then 

658
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:37,800
you and I kinda think at the 
festival because it was weird. 

659
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:41,440
You were in SketchUp with 97 
people and you all stayed, you 

660
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:43,800
stayed in the two-bedroom flat 
and then there was there was 

661
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:47,720
mice where I was staying. 
And then I was like, I'm I can't

662
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:49,800
live there anymore. 
So I came moved into your floor.

663
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:53,600
I lived on the floor of the flat
that you guys rented with 98 

664
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:55,480
people. 
And it was a real fun month. 

665
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:59,440
Nobody had any money, which was 
great, apart from you and Aaron 

666
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:03,200
Butler, who used to dine at 
Frankie and Benny's every day. 

667
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:06,320
Yeah, literally every day. 
I mean, what I didn't realise at

668
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:09,840
the particular time was that our
group was completely 

669
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:12,520
dissipating. 
And I think, you know, a lot of 

670
00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:17,000
people were struggling and you 
know, we we on boy town the odd 

671
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,880
time we have a segment called 
bonds thoughts. 

672
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:22,640
I feel like I was completely 
oblivious to maybe some of the 

673
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:25,320
difficulties other people are 
having whereby like they were 

674
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,040
just eating. 
They couldn't even, you know, 

675
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:29,120
afford the water to put in the 
Super noodles. 

676
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:32,360
They were just eating hard super
noodles and you know, trying to 

677
00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:34,640
like if you lift your tongue, 
you can like shoot water out 

678
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:38,160
there just kind of secrete as 
much liquid onto the Super 

679
00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:40,680
noodles as I could just to 
physically swallow it. 

680
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:45,440
Whereas, you know, Aaron, I were
eating 3 course lunches for each

681
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,960
meal, in fact every day. 
And it was very. 

682
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:50,880
Important to see it of you and 
Aaron because it was people knew

683
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:53,000
you were an Italian restaurant 
and people would know where to 

684
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,400
find you every day. 
At the same time, you know you 

685
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:58,680
were like hanging out in Frankie
and Benny's and I really liked 

686
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:02,000
that because I was able to like 
join us a couple of times 

687
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:05,240
because you were split. 
How many people were in the 

688
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:07,640
sketch group 13 years about? 
1312 or 13? 

689
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:09,440
Right. 
So Edinburgh costs a lot of 

690
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:12,000
money if you want to do the full
festival, which you were all 

691
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,000
doing. 
I was doing the free Fringe, 

692
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:15,840
which would have made so much 
more sense for you to do. 

693
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:19,440
You show up people paying their 
pocket, but I. 

694
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:22,320
Am just going to say before you 
go on, common sense wasn't 

695
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:26,040
something no those in charge 
accurate bad you know I mean it 

696
00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:28,400
didn't work too. 
Well, but I was made like you 

697
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:32,080
were that skint then that your 
money that you made on the day 

698
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:34,440
doing the Free Fringe was your 
money for the day you were 

699
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,360
living day-to-day. 
So if you had a protect, I 

700
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:40,639
remember Tim Vine came and did a
set at our show and we got like 

701
00:34:40,639 --> 00:34:44,520
£100 each, me and Becca that I 
was doing the show with and. 

702
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:46,440
Then they still speak to her 
nowadays. 

703
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:48,080
Yeah, she doesn't do stand up 
anymore. 

704
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:51,719
Just just like one of those 
people that kind of is naturally

705
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:53,920
very funny but got into stand up
for. 

706
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,120
Attention. 
To get into I know to get into 

707
00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:59,360
acting, which I don't understand
because I'm like and has done 

708
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:02,600
like quite a lot of stuff, but 
I'm always like that frustrates 

709
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:05,320
me because I'm like, well, even 
if you are good at acting and 

710
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:08,360
you've got the contacts now 
still just do stand up, stand up

711
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:10,520
class. 
But she's great, No. 

712
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:12,880
And I haven't spoke to her in a 
while, but but what's great is 

713
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:13,960
we. 
Reconnect after this. 

714
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:15,960
You've sent her a message going 
hi are you mate? 

715
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:18,080
Yeah, maybe I will. 
Maybe I will. 

716
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:21,480
I do remember we had this has 
nothing to do with anything. 

717
00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:23,000
We had to get a photo shoot done
for me. 

718
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:26,080
And so the idea was me and me 
and Rebecca Bowling were doing a

719
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,080
join Edinburgh show with a 
mystery headliner every day. 

720
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:30,640
So we weren't good enough to do 
on our stand up. 

721
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:34,560
So we do 15 minutes each and our
guest headliner would do 15. 

722
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:38,360
Did you ever do it? 
No, I was. 

723
00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:40,680
I hadn't that kind of stand up 
there. 

724
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:44,360
No, I was. 
I mean, looking back on it, I'm 

725
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:47,760
very proud of myself that I'm 
still doing stand up having 

726
00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:51,000
experienced those first few gigs
in Edinburgh because I was the 

727
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:52,080
worst. 
Yeah, you are. 

728
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:53,240
You are. 
You're so bad. 

729
00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:56,360
But so, yeah, we had to do a 
photo shoot because we were 

730
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:59,160
represented by the same age and 
she lived in Folkston. 

731
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:00,080
Same. 
What? 

732
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:02,960
The same agent. 
Or actually say Asian. 

733
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:05,640
Once again, I was going to. 
Say Asian agent. 

734
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:10,320
So I had to go over like 2 days 
before the fringe to fly to 

735
00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:13,120
London then get a train down 
there to do this photo shoot. 

736
00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:15,400
And have you ever seen the 
photos? 

737
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:17,040
It was like a tea party type 
thing. 

738
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:20,920
No, but I mean. 
They're really bad photos. 

739
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:22,480
They're. 
Really keen to see them. 

740
00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:23,960
I'd like you to send me a couple
of those. 

741
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,840
I actually might have one here, 
right? 

742
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:29,360
And if I do, I'm going to send 
you it. 

743
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:33,600
And then I'm also going to tell 
you that whenever I was flying 

744
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:36,400
that day, like just in and out 
of London for the day, I thought

745
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:39,280
it was class. 
I genuinely thought I looked 

746
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:40,840
like somebody that was on The 
Apprentice. 

747
00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:44,760
So bear that in mind when I show
you what I'm going to show you. 

748
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:46,480
Well, I'm very keen to see this 
now. 

749
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:48,840
I was like, God, I probably 
looked like the CEO of a 

750
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:51,200
business. 
OK, I've got it. 

751
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:56,080
You ready? 
Yes, send me through. 

752
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:58,320
No. 
No, no, I'm just going to show 

753
00:36:58,320 --> 00:36:58,960
you. 
All right. 

754
00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:04,640
Oh, no, you know what? 
I I, it's that's awful. 

755
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:08,880
Oh, so I can look that up and I 
on I can see on on Google. 

756
00:37:09,240 --> 00:37:12,960
There's a lot more than that. 
You were a big fan of of a 

757
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:14,440
sideburn back in the day, 
weren't you? 

758
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:16,120
I used to. 
I used to have really long 

759
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,320
sideburns, and it's because I 
still can't grow a beard. 

760
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:21,880
I thought a sideburn was like a 
suggestion that I could grow a 

761
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:24,440
beard and I was deciding to cut 
it off at that point. 

762
00:37:25,240 --> 00:37:27,520
Like good sideburns. 
I thought it was a is a real bad

763
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:30,720
look do. 
You ever notice like how weird 

764
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:34,240
like stand up photos are? 
Like it's always the same kind 

765
00:37:34,240 --> 00:37:37,200
of kind of silly faces. 
Very bad beside me. 

766
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:38,640
Yeah. 
And then those. 

767
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:41,480
Unlike the shrug, obviously. 
The shrug. 

768
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:44,800
Yeah, or the what's? 
I don't know why I'm doing this.

769
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:48,960
What's the big one There is like
a real Is it like the finger on 

770
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:50,880
the temple or something? 
There's apparently one that at 

771
00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:56,320
the Fringe last year was used 
like 20 times by like well known

772
00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:58,160
comedians. 
But I mean, you know what the 

773
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,880
you don't see enough people 
doing is this. 

774
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:04,440
Yeah, just the whole, what would
you call that? 

775
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:07,760
The face stretch back. 
I would say it's probably called

776
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:09,480
the birthing, you know? 
Yeah, yeah. 

777
00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:13,760
That's fucking horrific because 
when you were born, when you 

778
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:15,000
were born, you look like you do 
now. 

779
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:19,160
I. 
Know my per mom, my per mom was 

780
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:22,120
just like a cocoon that just 
burst like something out of 

781
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:24,800
alien and then there's big 
monster just stood up. 

782
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:27,240
All right lads. 
With The Crusaders top on. 

783
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:33,840
Where the crusade. 
But yeah, God love her. 

784
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:38,320
But yeah, so we met and what was
even funnier was whenever I went

785
00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:43,640
to see one of your shows, there 
was this really this there was 

786
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:45,840
this really weird old man that 
went to my gym. 

787
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:49,040
Like very strange guy. 
And people would have known him 

788
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:51,000
because he would have always 
been doing weird things. 

789
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:53,680
And like, you know, when you 
know people from places and I 

790
00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:56,600
was at the at the gig and then 
it's this weird guy from my gym 

791
00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:58,400
was there and he was like, fuck 
you doing here. 

792
00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:00,120
And I was like, fuck you doing 
here. 

793
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:02,800
And he was like change my son 
and I went on. 

794
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:08,240
And then then that was just 
another great moment that your 

795
00:39:08,240 --> 00:39:12,720
dad was who he was. 
So I just knew your dad as a guy

796
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,120
from the gym where he was just 
actually your dad. 

797
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:19,880
So I was when we kind of started
our as well, you know, before we

798
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:23,160
obviously opened the massage 
parlour and stuff together when 

799
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:25,640
we first met so. 
You, my dad and Wayne Linekers. 

800
00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:31,760
I was, I was about to go up for 
with a name for it. 

801
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:33,760
And then I was like, I can't, I 
can't, I can't say that. 

802
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:38,600
But then Fast forward to we did 
boy town. 

803
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:40,720
Now in the last episode of boy 
town, we talked about the 

804
00:39:40,720 --> 00:39:43,080
history of boy town. 
So we'll not delve into the 

805
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,640
history of it, but let's talk 
about the legacy of it. 

806
00:39:46,240 --> 00:39:48,960
Isn't it funny that we were 
like, you know what? 

807
00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:50,320
We'll put the brakes on Boy 
Town. 

808
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:53,560
Yeah, we'll eventually revisit 
it way down the line at some 

809
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:55,880
point. 
But like people were acting 

810
00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:58,680
like, like was the National 
tribe, Like whenever Princess 

811
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:00,720
Diana died, it was like. 
I mean, listen. 

812
00:40:00,720 --> 00:40:02,720
An outpouring of. 
That's their boy time. 

813
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:06,760
Like it was nice to see, but 
also this is going to sound very

814
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:09,640
bit Jimmy. 
It was nice to see, but also but

815
00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:12,000
I was like, oh, where were you 
guys when we're fucking trying 

816
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:13,960
to it? 
Where's the support when we're 

817
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:17,960
doing it every week, you know? 
So it was like it was sad to see

818
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:23,440
go, but unfortunately it just 
became sort of collateral damage

819
00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:26,440
to life and consequences of 
other things. 

820
00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:29,680
Obviously my trials coming up 
and had to step back. 

821
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:31,600
But you're on trial with 
Crusaders. 

822
00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:33,480
Yeah, I'm trying with The 
Crusaders. 

823
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:37,120
Yeah, no, Tim McGarry and I have
got into you could figure out, 

824
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:41,160
but no, really, really speaking,
we're just kind of doing it like

825
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:42,720
because we felt obligated to do 
it. 

826
00:40:42,720 --> 00:40:45,120
So maybe we weren't putting the 
effort in that we needed. 

827
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:47,720
We weren't like sharing the 
there wasn't as much content 

828
00:40:47,720 --> 00:40:49,000
coming out. 
It was almost just like we were 

829
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:51,960
doing it for the sake of it. 
And then we're doing a radio 

830
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:53,720
show together. 
We're other stuff in the 

831
00:40:53,720 --> 00:40:56,240
pipeline together. 
There's only so much we can do 

832
00:40:56,240 --> 00:40:59,480
with each other. 
And I just think you were 

833
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:01,320
putting a lot of focus into this
podcast. 

834
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:04,280
I want to put more focus into my
own podcast, the slide guy 

835
00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:05,920
podcast. 
I've made the a value. 

836
00:41:06,240 --> 00:41:10,440
So I feel like, you know, boy 
town was maybe becoming less of 

837
00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:13,480
a priority and therefore what 
was the point in carrying it on?

838
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:15,920
And it's good. 
I feel like it's good. 

839
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:18,520
One of the things that would 
have annoyed me maybe was that 

840
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:23,160
it had been going on for so long
and like I wanted it to be like 

841
00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:25,400
one of the long standing 
broadcast, you know, one of the 

842
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:29,680
ones that but you know, at the 
end of the day, life, life 

843
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:32,120
throws you lemons and what you 
have to do that's just make 

844
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:33,080
soup. 
That's not what you say. 

845
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:35,400
I think so. 
And it's a delicious soup of 

846
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:38,240
opportunities. 
And what's funny is we're we're 

847
00:41:38,240 --> 00:41:40,840
talking about doing a different 
podcast. 

848
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:43,560
But yeah, for for. 
Someone else. 

849
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:46,760
Yeah. 
And also for Sponge Elix. 

850
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:48,920
Yeah, you know what I'm saying? 
We have to make it rain. 

851
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:51,920
But that's funny that we'd be 
like, listen, we we don't have 

852
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:54,560
time to do boy town anymore. 
And then if if things had been 

853
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,280
quicker with the other one and 
be like, join us next week for 

854
00:41:57,280 --> 00:42:00,680
our brand new podcast I. 
Mean like, you know, people are 

855
00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:02,520
probably going, oh, that's, 
that's a shame. 

856
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:04,400
The boy turns away. 
But used to doing this one. 

857
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:08,000
But you have to bear in mind as 
well, you have a family now. 

858
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:12,560
I have a family now. 
We need to be coming back with 

859
00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:15,720
money, you know, as as crude as 
I say, we need to be putting 

860
00:42:15,720 --> 00:42:17,040
food in the table for the 
family. 

861
00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:19,080
And if we're just doing 
something which is effectively, 

862
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:22,960
you know, for free, we are, you 
know, with a producer on board, 

863
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:25,480
he was leaving his family every 
week for free. 

864
00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:28,800
It's hard to justify to, you 
know, I mean, I don't want to 

865
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:32,200
speak out of turn about your 
wife or my wife, but two very, 

866
00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:37,000
very aggressively needy, money 
hungry woman who would just as 

867
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:39,400
soon as I would get in the door,
my wife would hit me with a 

868
00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:40,880
ladle. 
And I didn't do the cooking in 

869
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:42,280
the house. 
So she would have had to go in 

870
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,960
and get the ladle. 
Where's Where's my money? 

871
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:49,880
You had to put like a £20 note 
in every surface in the house 

872
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:51,680
when you came back in gigs, 
isn't that true? 

873
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:53,680
Exactly. 
And and then whenever we weren't

874
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:56,520
getting anything for Boy Town, I
was just taking that out of my 

875
00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:58,880
own pocket, the same money that 
I buy trucks with. 

876
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:01,360
And it's not fair for me to do 
that. 

877
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:04,800
You know what I mean? 
So it's just funny that people 

878
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:08,440
genuinely thought that we have 
fallen out because like we have 

879
00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:12,480
had, we have had arguments, but 
like we have never fallen out 

880
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:17,360
for more than an hour. 
Yeah, and I mean we I think 

881
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:22,640
barring my wife, you're the most
like a relationship that of 

882
00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:25,320
anybody have. 
We are like like an old married.

883
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:27,440
Yeah, you know, and it is very 
like. 

884
00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:29,920
But one thing is we'll never, 
we'll never go to bed in an 

885
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:32,760
argument. 
Whenever we always we. 

886
00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:35,360
Are like an old married couple 
because there's been times where

887
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:37,480
people know you and I are in a 
bad mood with each other. 

888
00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:40,240
And they're like, yeah, that's 
just the way they are, you know?

889
00:43:40,240 --> 00:43:43,040
And you and I are sitting there 
and then, you know, we're like, 

890
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:45,000
really going like, really sort 
of art. 

891
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,320
Like when we argue, by the way, 
we're never like raising our 

892
00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:49,680
voices or anything. 
It's just like, it's sniping and

893
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:52,520
it's silly. 
And then say we're in a room 

894
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:54,800
with someone else and you and I 
are like, really pissed off at 

895
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:56,480
each other. 
That personal say or do 

896
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:58,040
something. 
And you know me and look, we'll 

897
00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:00,400
look at each other like we're in
school and someone's farted and 

898
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:03,360
assembly and we're like, let's 
just be funny now. 

899
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:07,240
But I mean, and that's a good 
thing because I'd always said to

900
00:44:07,240 --> 00:44:10,920
that I think now we're at the 
point where we are friends above

901
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:13,440
all else. 
So if, say, we did stop doing 

902
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:16,320
comedy or weren't gigging or 
doing podcasts, we'd still be 

903
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:20,120
mates outside of that, which I 
think is is a nice thing, you 

904
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:21,280
know? 
Are we fine? 

905
00:44:22,240 --> 00:44:23,880
What's that mean? 
Friends above all else. 

906
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:32,440
I mean files were I just thought
like Ian, am I missing out on 

907
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:34,920
something else? 
I was only just figured out what

908
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:37,800
they meant and then what WAP 
means. 

909
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:39,840
You know all that shit that I'm 
just learning as a ghost. 

910
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:42,080
I thought what it's it's fail. 
Oh my God, this is fail. 

911
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:46,560
Why is it when people this. 
Is my you know, it's FAA. 

912
00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:52,040
This is my fie. 
What My fie? 

913
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:54,240
And do you, do you still have 
all else? 

914
00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:56,800
Do you still have the the person
I bought you for your birthday? 

915
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:59,360
The wiki ring. 
Of course you do and it says is 

916
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:02,600
it on your keys? 
It's in the door, but it can be 

917
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:04,640
bothered going to get it. 
Yeah, no, mine's outside there 

918
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:06,240
too. 
But it says is it bad Bitches 

919
00:45:06,240 --> 00:45:08,240
forever? 
No, best fucking bitches. 

920
00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:11,160
Best fucking bitches. 
And by the way, I handed those 

921
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:13,880
keys over to Mechanic a couple 
of weeks ago and I could see him

922
00:45:13,880 --> 00:45:16,360
look at it and go wonder what 
the other half of this means. 

923
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:19,320
And I was like, it's like 
football mates, Man United and 

924
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:20,760
all, yeah. 
Speaking. 

925
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:24,880
Of birthday presents. 
Got something enjoyable on 

926
00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:28,120
route? 
Nice, on to me or. 

927
00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:30,040
Something coming to you? 
Nice. 

928
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:32,640
I'll just turn my on. 
No, turn this. 

929
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:34,960
There you go. 
I put the red hue on me there I.

930
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:36,480
Like that. 
That's what I hate. 

931
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:38,440
And you know what? 
Something technological over me.

932
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:41,520
Sorry what I'm going to say see 
whenever I hit this red it just 

933
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:44,080
looks like I'm really unwell and
blood pressure. 

934
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:48,560
Problem. 
Oh yeah, you definitely do have 

935
00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:49,520
a blood pressure. 
I know I do. 

936
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:51,600
I actually do. 
I went well, not a problem. 

937
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:52,760
What's making you angry at the 
minute? 

938
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:56,920
In life, yeah, you know what? 
You know what is making me angry

939
00:45:57,040 --> 00:45:59,480
a bit at the minute? 
And I mean, this might split the

940
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:06,240
room, but the response our 
friend, our colleague Stephen 

941
00:46:06,240 --> 00:46:10,240
Nolan has received for 
highlighting the behaviour in 

942
00:46:10,240 --> 00:46:14,040
the Holy Lands, I just want to 
say that a lot of people are 

943
00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:15,720
like, oh, well, Stephen Owens 
aren't enough money. 

944
00:46:15,720 --> 00:46:18,120
Why is he picking on the kids? 
I'm going well. 

945
00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:20,800
They're making it sound like 
he's showing up do youth, 

946
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:22,960
covering a BMX and smacking 
people. 

947
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:29,600
Which I mean if that's not a 
show in the works please. 

948
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:35,200
You apply for your local youth 
club and beat the shit out of 

949
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:39,720
the kids. 
But you know, like it'd be one 

950
00:46:39,720 --> 00:46:41,360
of those things. 
Do you ever get it whenever, 

951
00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:44,240
like something is so 
unfathomable that your mind 

952
00:46:44,240 --> 00:46:46,520
can't compute it? 
So you're for a second stunned. 

953
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:50,120
People would see nobody coming 
down, just waking off and 

954
00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:52,520
they're on a BMX. 
And then they'll be like, is 

955
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:55,200
that Stephen BMX? 
And then by the time they'd 

956
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:57,400
realised fucking is, it would be
bad. 

957
00:46:58,080 --> 00:47:03,880
You know what the show's called 
comes down to BMX and. 

958
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:09,960
How Can you imagine that at the 
start, like the parents are just

959
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:12,920
doing like a piece of the camera
in the room is like, Oh my son, 

960
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:16,040
he's a nightmare. 
I call him in for his dinner and

961
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:17,400
all. 
He just gives me a finger and he

962
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,680
goes fuck off, man. 
I'm like, I don't know, Like 

963
00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:22,040
he's robbing from the neighbours
and all. 

964
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:24,120
He's stealing my money and the 
covers and all. 

965
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:27,080
I can't behave. 
And then he's all like, I'll 

966
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:33,040
make him behave and the parents 
get to pick what? 

967
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:38,240
The parents get to pick what 
weapon, though, he uses like, 

968
00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:41,480
oh, you know, he keeps, he 
keeps, you know, stealing 

969
00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:43,200
people's bikes. 
So I think you should use a bike

970
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:44,840
chain, Steven. 
And he goes wrong. 

971
00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:48,400
Mervyn and Kate, what are you 
going to go for here, Steven? 

972
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:49,720
We're going to go for the 
snooker cue. 

973
00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:51,600
OK, you've gone for the snooker 
cue. 

974
00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:54,320
Just put it on the sleeve. 
And Steven's got to up Alex 

975
00:47:54,320 --> 00:47:56,240
because the snooker cue is going
to be hard. 

976
00:48:00,040 --> 00:48:05,160
Then they'll be like, is that 
state be an extra pregnant away?

977
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:08,680
Case and then a sample. 
Yeah, and people are still 

978
00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:11,960
stunned. 
He's going here. 

979
00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:13,640
That's the biggest show in the 
country. 

980
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:19,200
Well, yeah, yeah, it's and it's 
also reported in news. 

981
00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:21,080
Apparently he's got a massive 
pay increase. 

982
00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:23,800
And yeah, but what's what they 
didn't report is we we got a 

983
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:26,000
bigger one. 
Yeah, that's the funniest thing 

984
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:28,160
that like, wasn't that we? 
Got an extra, We got an extra 

985
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:30,520
400, extra 400. 
OK. 

986
00:48:30,520 --> 00:48:35,560
Yeah, yeah. 
But I think like people are get 

987
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:38,360
are neglecting the fact that if 
it were, if it wasn't a 

988
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:41,600
pandemic, the students are all 
being ourselves anyway. 

989
00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:44,600
Like they're just like playing 
music fucking. 

990
00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:47,040
It'll be a nightmare for people 
living there who aren't 

991
00:48:47,040 --> 00:48:50,080
students. 
Be like, you know, and then 

992
00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:53,040
Steven, albeit what's going on 
being like, fuck, are you doing,

993
00:48:55,120 --> 00:49:02,240
you know, starting on them. 
But I it's just, it's annoying 

994
00:49:02,240 --> 00:49:06,640
for me at the minute because I 
just got the change of policy 

995
00:49:06,640 --> 00:49:11,600
and in relation to COVID and 
that I can't visit my baby. 

996
00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:12,880
It's due next week in the 
hospital. 

997
00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:14,480
You know what I mean? 
And these kids are just like 

998
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:17,960
fucking getting on however they 
want, yet I have to leave my 

999
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:20,040
wife and newborn baby in 
hospital by themselves. 

1000
00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:21,640
I think that's shit. 
You know what makes me go? 

1001
00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:23,080
Fuck sake like. 
That is weird. 

1002
00:49:23,200 --> 00:49:25,440
And you're. 
Sacrificing this shit and you 

1003
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:26,640
know. 
You're definitely the sort of 

1004
00:49:26,640 --> 00:49:28,960
guy that on your way back from 
hospital, not being able to go 

1005
00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:31,320
back up and visit, you would 
call by the holy dance to have a

1006
00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:34,040
stern word with everyone. 
And then you would hear that 

1007
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:36,320
they were playing like maybe a 
song that you like, like a con 

1008
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:38,000
sexy bitch. 
And you would start to get a 

1009
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:40,000
little bit of a vibe on you. 
Before you know it, you would 

1010
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:42,680
have the tequila and before you 
knew it, Catherine phone you and

1011
00:49:42,680 --> 00:49:44,640
be like, you're allowed to come 
and pick us up now and you'd be 

1012
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:46,760
like, fuck Adam fucking rinsing 
rugby. 

1013
00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:48,920
Yeah. 
No, I'd be singing Grace wearing

1014
00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:54,120
a throne shirt, the fucking big 
bark of Old English. 

1015
00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:58,440
The irony of that just having, 
having a great time. 

1016
00:49:59,720 --> 00:50:01,920
But yeah, you know, I sort of 
feel like I'm the kind of guy 

1017
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:05,520
who would like, I would be 
looking at ways to, to breach 

1018
00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:07,960
COVID regulations myself to get 
in the hospital. 

1019
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:10,400
Like I would think I would do a 
bit of a Mourinho, you know, I'd

1020
00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:13,840
get into the way, all The Dirty 
in hospital tiles and all, and 

1021
00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:15,800
just try to sneak my way into 
the maternity ward. 

1022
00:50:16,600 --> 00:50:19,560
Or what, what I would like to 
see you do is like, I mean, just

1023
00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:21,200
I've got an Open University 
course and. 

1024
00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:24,600
I've got it, I've got it better.
You have just had a baby, 

1025
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:25,600
correct? 
Correct. 

1026
00:50:26,160 --> 00:50:28,960
And was you do a bit in your 
stand up, but your baby being 

1027
00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:30,800
quite a big baby, don't you? 
Yeah. 

1028
00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:34,200
What I would do, I would get you
to put me in a baby seat and I'd

1029
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:36,920
shave my head on the beard and 
all, and you'd be like, he's 

1030
00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:39,600
grown too much. 
And then bring me into the 

1031
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:41,600
maternity ward. 
And then I just got up, fucking 

1032
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:44,600
burn down the corridor and see. 
I mean, that'd be a sight of the

1033
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:46,880
whole. 
If I paid you genuine question 

1034
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:49,400
£250 today, which is the dry 
rose off? 

1035
00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:57,240
No, a grand. 
No, come on, £500 cheaper, 

1036
00:50:57,240 --> 00:50:58,560
eyebrows off. 
Go back. 

1037
00:50:58,600 --> 00:51:01,920
They'll go back in two weeks. 
No, you're hairy. 

1038
00:51:01,920 --> 00:51:05,280
What else to grow back in our? 
No, the problem is my hair and I

1039
00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:06,760
Oh no, not that, not here. 
I'll cover that. 

1040
00:51:07,040 --> 00:51:09,120
My hair here is starting to 
connect. 

1041
00:51:09,240 --> 00:51:11,880
So I shave the eyebrows. 
I might just, I'll end up like 

1042
00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:14,640
one of those Peruvian wolf boys 
and that's not a good look for 

1043
00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:16,440
anybody like, you know, those 
guys. 

1044
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:19,920
Don't. 
No, it's like, imagine you're 

1045
00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:23,360
just a just like a Peruvian guy 
and then you meet a nice 

1046
00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:27,120
Peruvian girl and you just get 
pregnant in a Peruvian way and 

1047
00:51:27,320 --> 00:51:31,400
you could have a Peruvian baby 
and then it's born and you're 

1048
00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:34,720
like, I'll use her one of these 
like not .5 and 100, that's 

1049
00:51:34,720 --> 00:51:37,200
going to be a Peruvian wolf boy.
And you're like fuck sake. 

1050
00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:39,240
And my mom and dad are all 
normal. 

1051
00:51:39,240 --> 00:51:40,720
I'm this fucking Peruvian wolf 
boy. 

1052
00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:43,880
It's so sly. 
That was my first ever e-mail 

1053
00:51:43,880 --> 00:51:46,120
address. 
peruvianwolfboy@hotmail.com. 

1054
00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:50,600
I mean, you know what else is 
sly? 

1055
00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:55,160
It's like there's no, you know, 
way, like, you know, the way in 

1056
00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:58,880
the world now, people try to 
embrace people with differences.

1057
00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:01,440
Like, especially in fashion, 
Like you would see a lot of, you

1058
00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:04,080
know, that as a vitiligo 
condition like Michael Jackson 

1059
00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:05,440
had. 
You see a lot of models for that

1060
00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:08,840
very distinctive look. 
You've, you know, maybe albino 

1061
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:11,160
models, you know, especially 
people with like, you know, the 

1062
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:13,080
London look, the gap teeth, 
they're everywhere at the 

1063
00:52:13,080 --> 00:52:15,240
minute. 
I would love to see like a 

1064
00:52:15,240 --> 00:52:22,680
campaign by Chanel with just the
Peruvian wolf boy on the front 

1065
00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:26,200
of Vogue. 
I think they're missing a gap 

1066
00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:27,040
in. 
The morning dot. 

1067
00:52:27,040 --> 00:52:32,320
Com collab with Peruvian wolf. 
He's done a range of short 

1068
00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:35,680
sleeve muscle. 
Just Molly may then away X and 

1069
00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:44,960
Peruvian wolf. 
That sounds like an act that 

1070
00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:46,520
would DJ at a Love Island pool 
party. 

1071
00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:59,960
When the crowd table and. 
Then the beat. 

1072
00:53:08,240 --> 00:53:11,120
I mean I think we all know 
proven what was going to do 

1073
00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:12,720
collab. 
It would definitely be with 

1074
00:53:12,720 --> 00:53:17,000
chill head. 
Or a fate. 

1075
00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:23,760
It all comes off and he's like, 
we don't want to anymore. 

1076
00:53:28,680 --> 00:53:32,040
Poor boy half Lima do your 
fucking do your front lawn, do 

1077
00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:35,920
your back and do your big. 
You know, it'd be great. 

1078
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:39,520
Imagine, imagine an agent or 
somebody's listening to this 

1079
00:53:39,520 --> 00:53:42,640
podcast and it's like fucking 
right. 

1080
00:53:43,880 --> 00:53:46,800
They just go to Peru to try and 
recruit Peruvian wolf boys to be

1081
00:53:46,800 --> 00:53:51,600
like, listen, you need this 
fella here on, you need this 

1082
00:53:51,600 --> 00:53:53,440
guy's got to be the face of 
Versace. 

1083
00:53:53,680 --> 00:53:55,320
Get him on there. 
Go for it. 

1084
00:53:55,360 --> 00:53:59,320
Oh, it'd be great. 
How do we end up on this? 

1085
00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:03,400
Boy, obviously let's be 
respectful and given the real 

1086
00:54:03,400 --> 00:54:05,800
name, yeah? 
Certainly, Wolf Child, it's 

1087
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:08,080
correct. 
Oh yeah, sure that guy. 

1088
00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:10,120
Don't know if there's loads them
or just. 

1089
00:54:10,240 --> 00:54:12,800
You know what, they speak 
Spanish there, so he's probably,

1090
00:54:12,800 --> 00:54:15,880
probably Peruvian gruff Nino or 
something like that, I would 

1091
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:17,240
say. 
I meant to ask you the first 

1092
00:54:17,240 --> 00:54:18,520
question, which was we do drink 
tea. 

1093
00:54:19,240 --> 00:54:20,320
I do drink tea. 
I. 

1094
00:54:20,320 --> 00:54:22,080
You and I drink a lot of tea 
together, many cups tea. 

1095
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:23,920
Would you drink a day? 
And are you drinking more now 

1096
00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:25,800
that your wife's pregnant? 
You might have a baby. 

1097
00:54:25,800 --> 00:54:27,840
Are you just doing that to sort 
of like send all yourself to 

1098
00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:30,320
drink loads of tea? 
No, I'm more of a coffee guy 

1099
00:54:30,320 --> 00:54:32,960
normally of drink black my 
coffee, like I like my man's 

1100
00:54:32,960 --> 00:54:37,040
strong and black that leaves a 
bitter taste in your mouth. 

1101
00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:40,720
And I also like my tea, but out 
of a cup of tea in the evening 

1102
00:54:40,720 --> 00:54:43,400
because I'm on a bit of a diet 
at the minute because I said 

1103
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:45,560
earlier, high blood pressure, 
fat. 

1104
00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:47,880
And so I'm trying to lose a bit 
of weight. 

1105
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:51,200
So rather than having like, you 
know, a tub of Haagen Dazs or a 

1106
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:53,360
cake to myself, I have a wee 
treat. 

1107
00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:57,120
It's just a cup of tea. 
So and I do enjoy and you know 

1108
00:54:57,120 --> 00:54:58,560
what, I really, really like 
that. 

1109
00:54:58,560 --> 00:55:02,800
Like it's weird because you 
know, ways some people have this

1110
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:07,600
view of like, say stand up or 
comedy or that it's kind of a 

1111
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:09,920
cool thing. 
They're like, oh, it's really 

1112
00:55:09,920 --> 00:55:12,400
it's they're cool like partying 
guys. 

1113
00:55:12,640 --> 00:55:17,680
Now when I finished my last 
show, my like our long show, I 

1114
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:19,840
didn't limelight sold it out. 
Great time. 

1115
00:55:20,280 --> 00:55:23,440
I went and on my way home, I 
stopped off in Tesco's. 

1116
00:55:23,840 --> 00:55:28,080
I got myself a new a new pair of
slippers these babies have got 

1117
00:55:28,080 --> 00:55:34,160
here and a wee jug of milk so I 
could go home after the gig. 

1118
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:36,080
Tea and a biscuit. 
And that was what I wanted to 

1119
00:55:36,080 --> 00:55:39,160
celebrate the end of my of my 
tour basically with. 

1120
00:55:39,160 --> 00:55:41,080
It was great. 
That's what we're best friends. 

1121
00:55:41,080 --> 00:55:44,760
Limelight shows. 
Six of them over three nights. 

1122
00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:48,040
Brilliant experience. 
Stand ups back last show. 

1123
00:55:48,360 --> 00:55:50,280
People say you'll have a few 
drinks and go out in the last 

1124
00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:52,600
one. 
Saturday night straight home 

1125
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:54,960
with a carrot cake waiting for 
me in the fridge. 

1126
00:55:55,720 --> 00:55:58,520
The tea match of the day. 
Perfect. 

1127
00:56:00,240 --> 00:56:06,600
The Pretty good Will Play remix.
But I was brilliant like last 

1128
00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:10,880
night at the at the gig in the 
Boneyard, a few of the boys were

1129
00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:15,520
going out out afterwards and 
staying in the tails and all 

1130
00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:18,920
getting sauces. 
And so I spoke to a few of them 

1131
00:56:18,920 --> 00:56:20,960
this morning and they weren't in
a good place. 

1132
00:56:21,080 --> 00:56:22,720
A lot of hangovers about the 
place. 

1133
00:56:22,720 --> 00:56:25,800
And you know, I'm just sitting 
here enjoying myself working 

1134
00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:28,720
away, and I'm glad I didn't do 
it because I just can't go 

1135
00:56:28,720 --> 00:56:32,040
hangovers anymore. 
Tool for No We need to get like 

1136
00:56:32,040 --> 00:56:33,560
we need to wet the baby's head 
whenever. 

1137
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:36,120
You're yeah, whenever you're a 
little bit more settled. 

1138
00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:38,600
Yeah, well, I mean. 
I'm sort of thinking. 

1139
00:56:39,960 --> 00:56:42,480
It could be a bit weird for me. 
It's obviously I can't go in and

1140
00:56:42,480 --> 00:56:44,400
hopefully everything goes 
smoothly and when the baby's 

1141
00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:46,080
born we can get out the next 
day. 

1142
00:56:46,160 --> 00:56:49,280
But I just, I just feel it's 
going to be a bit shit having to

1143
00:56:49,280 --> 00:56:51,160
leave them and being forced to 
leave them. 

1144
00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:54,360
Like I told you what happens 
whenever I get. 

1145
00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:57,320
Sent home, I got sent home at 
like 9:00 AM. 

1146
00:56:59,120 --> 00:57:02,840
No, then I was like to go back 
home for like an hour and then I

1147
00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:06,320
basically got home, back home at
10:00 PM Second. 

1148
00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:09,840
So they stayed in for two nights
the second night and at 10 PMI 

1149
00:57:09,840 --> 00:57:12,320
think about this, right? 
And then I was like, jeez, I'm 

1150
00:57:12,720 --> 00:57:13,920
not going to be able to sleep at
all. 

1151
00:57:13,920 --> 00:57:15,400
And I was, I was like 
distraught. 

1152
00:57:15,400 --> 00:57:17,560
I was like, I'm not going to be 
able to sleep another night 

1153
00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:20,360
without them, blah, blah. 
I have never had a sound of 

1154
00:57:20,360 --> 00:57:23,280
sleep. 
I slept from 10:00 PM to 10:00 

1155
00:57:23,280 --> 00:57:26,840
AM and woke up so fresh and then
I had to pretend to wasn't 

1156
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:29,720
fresh. 
I was like, jeez, I couldn't get

1157
00:57:29,720 --> 00:57:33,080
a wink there. 
I got, I got 400 winks because 

1158
00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:35,240
that's what happened to me. 
Whatever. 

1159
00:57:35,560 --> 00:57:40,400
My first child was born, I was 
in the hospital and obviously my

1160
00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:43,640
wife had been through a section,
had the baby out, whatever. 

1161
00:57:43,640 --> 00:57:47,040
Really struggling, major 
surgery, sore stomach, pain just

1162
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:48,720
at birth. 
Things are happening to her 

1163
00:57:48,720 --> 00:57:49,600
body. 
It's horrible. 

1164
00:57:49,920 --> 00:57:52,360
And I was sitting there for 
probably about four hours at 

1165
00:57:52,360 --> 00:57:55,120
that point and someone was like,
asked her, are you OK? 

1166
00:57:55,120 --> 00:57:57,000
But they were looking at me. 
So I thought, they're asking me.

1167
00:57:57,280 --> 00:57:59,400
I think to be honest, I'm a wee 
bit uncomfortable and these 

1168
00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:01,120
seats are a wee bit warm and 
sticky. 

1169
00:58:01,520 --> 00:58:04,840
And so my wife just looked at me
like, David, oh, really? 

1170
00:58:04,840 --> 00:58:06,800
You're you're uncomfortable. 
You know. 

1171
00:58:07,040 --> 00:58:09,640
I brought Phil. 
I brought 442 Magazine up. 

1172
00:58:09,640 --> 00:58:12,320
For the Labour. 
Hey spoiler, didn't get a chance

1173
00:58:12,320 --> 00:58:14,600
to read it. 
No, that's one thing I would 

1174
00:58:14,600 --> 00:58:18,040
tell Future fathers, which 
sounds like a shit indie band. 

1175
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:19,760
Is my dad doing? 
Absolutely. 

1176
00:58:20,320 --> 00:58:22,680
Is that you? 
Will not get time. 

1177
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:25,200
To read 442 magazine during 
pregnancy? 

1178
00:58:25,640 --> 00:58:26,960
Yeah. 
No, you won't. 

1179
00:58:28,200 --> 00:58:30,960
It's yeah, not like, I mean, you
have to kind of be there to 

1180
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:33,640
support, don't you? 
Albeit there are things like 

1181
00:58:33,920 --> 00:58:37,200
you'd rather be doing, like, you
know, anything really, because 

1182
00:58:37,200 --> 00:58:39,880
not a pleasant experience. 
But, you know, reading the 

1183
00:58:39,880 --> 00:58:42,880
magazine, watch a Match of the 
Day, you know, then a gig 

1184
00:58:42,880 --> 00:58:45,760
probably. 
But you have to, at least for 

1185
00:58:45,760 --> 00:58:47,520
your partner's sake, be 
supportive. 

1186
00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:48,840
You might want to be. 
Yeah. 

1187
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:51,000
You know, you're obligated to in
many respects. 

1188
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:54,040
So you have to a bit like this 
with boy down on the radio show 

1189
00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:56,800
obligated to do it. 
Yeah, but I mean, that's a 

1190
00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:59,560
choice, I know, but the. 
Fact that I'm getting. 

1191
00:58:59,720 --> 00:59:01,720
You know. 
Upwards of two grand a show. 

1192
00:59:01,720 --> 00:59:03,280
It's worth it, you know You're 
what? 

1193
00:59:03,400 --> 00:59:07,480
Worth doing that get what I get?
Yeah, yeah. 2.8 grand a week. 

1194
00:59:07,680 --> 00:59:10,400
So I'm going to talk to someone 
because I'm getting 95. 

1195
00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:15,360
Point disparity. 
Can you plug your? 

1196
00:59:15,360 --> 00:59:18,960
Podcast. 
Yes, and the Slag I podcast. 

1197
00:59:19,320 --> 00:59:22,200
Is out every for now every 
Monday it's going to move in and

1198
00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:25,280
it's going to fill boy towns 
hole and go to a Thursday boy 

1199
00:59:25,320 --> 00:59:28,400
towns, not even boy towns, not 
even yeah, but. 

1200
00:59:28,400 --> 00:59:30,200
If you really want to see it on 
a Monday. 

1201
00:59:30,440 --> 00:59:32,480
You know you can. 
I'll have a Monday episode on 

1202
00:59:32,480 --> 00:59:34,720
the Patreon which is against 
Lagi podcast. 

1203
00:59:35,480 --> 00:59:38,320
Check that out. 
We're ready Ulster, every Friday

1204
00:59:38,320 --> 00:59:40,080
night. 
I mean, for the next what? 

1205
00:59:40,080 --> 00:59:43,560
How many four weeks, 4 weeks? 
And then hey, hopefully. 

1206
00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:44,680
You know, there's something 
something. 

1207
00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:47,640
BBC Radio Ulster Friday night 
6:00 Me and this guy. 

1208
00:59:47,640 --> 00:59:49,800
Can't dance music. 
It's a nice time. 

1209
00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:52,360
Speaking of nice times, I've had
a nice time. 

1210
00:59:52,680 --> 00:59:54,720
I have to go now. 
It's what time are we holding 

1211
00:59:54,720 --> 00:59:55,840
this? 
It's 1:50. 

1212
00:59:55,840 --> 00:59:59,560
I'll probably phone you at 2:00.
And then three and then four. 

1213
00:59:59,960 --> 01:00:02,520
Can I just say one really 
important thing before I go and?

1214
01:00:02,520 --> 01:00:07,440
Message the everybody out there.
Yep, big season ahead. 

1215
01:00:07,520 --> 01:00:10,560
No, no. 
Support them and fight. 

1216
01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:11,280
The merchandise.