1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,040 John Paul the second died, correct? 2 00:00:02,280 --> 00:00:04,560 Yeah. While it was on stage mid joke 3 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:08,600 slagging off the Pope in Dublin in Record St. 4 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:11,200 Some guy at the back shouted he just died. 5 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:14,440 And I went what? And I started laughing. 6 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:16,880 I could see phones just lighten up all over. 7 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:19,840 Imagine every time you did that. Well, that's exactly what I 8 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:21,280 said. And then I started making jokes 9 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:25,480 about lots of other people. And eventually I turned, there's 10 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:27,560 some people going. That's very disrespectful to 11 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:41,840 people going yeah. Zippers, welcome to this episode 12 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:44,560 of the Tea With Me podcast with me, she and Todd. 13 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:47,520 Before we get into this great episode of the podcast, let me 14 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:52,560 tell you a couple of things #1 patreon.com/tea with Me podcast 15 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:54,800 at the minute. That is the home of the Lazy 16 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:57,400 Boys podcast with Mickey Bartlett and Willie Thompson. 17 00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:00,400 If you don't know what the Lazy Boys podcast is, it is this. 18 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:02,640 Your home looks like someone dropped the ghetto on a barbers 19 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:03,440 floor here. What's going on? 20 00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:08,280 Is that the way you said? Like Elvis in the ghetto? 21 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:16,960 A chocolate or two? Strawberry. 22 00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:22,160 She's cake. Just a Pavlova. 23 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:29,960 Patreon.com/tea with me podcast bonus episode every Monday, live 24 00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:33,240 streaming Friday, Lazy Voices on there some weeks and we've got a 25 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:34,720 million specials for you to watch. 26 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,640 We're also doing Tea with Me live at the Waterfront Hall. 27 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:43,880 29th of November is sold out, so we have added the 30th line up 28 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,800 to be revealed closer to the time. 29 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,800 But if you're at the live pod in Bangor, you'll know that the 30 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:50,720 live TV is your grid and you can get text in the description 31 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:52,640 below. I'm also on tour. 32 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:55,840 Shame talkcomedy.com. I'm probably already on the road 33 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:59,680 as this episode comes out building up to SSE Arena. 9th 34 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:03,360 and 15th. November 9th is sold out and 35 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:06,000 there's still tickets for the 15th or the other way around. 36 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:10,400 This episode of TFT Podcast is sponsored by none other than our 37 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:14,280 friends at Nord VPN. Football season is just about to 38 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:16,280 start again. The Premier League, it already 39 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:20,560 has a lot of people. 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If you're a guy like me with 70 00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:01,720 facial hair, if you're a guy like me with with a moustache, 71 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:04,760 which I got to get, I got to get rid of tomorrow because I'm 72 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:05,880 going to be best man at a wedding. 73 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:10,080 Oh, don't, don't over shadow the bride. 74 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:14,680 The if you look if you have a a beat, not a beat. 75 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:20,959 Why not try the razor on it now? Because do I like to What I 76 00:04:20,959 --> 00:04:23,440 would need is some other manscape products to 1st prepare 77 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:26,160 the skin I've. Got all the products there. 78 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:28,320 Yeah, just start using them. We'll just fill. 79 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:30,760 But I would need a tile and all that kind of stuff, so do you. 80 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:34,480 Want me to go and grab one? No, I'm I'm not ready to do it 81 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:36,960 now, but when I do it will be with manscape products. 82 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,080 When I get rid of this moustache I might need a sheep shear. 83 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,280 But when I get rid of my moustache, you'll. 84 00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:42,680 Definitely need the hedger for that. 85 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:44,040 You think so? Yeah. 86 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:46,800 The scissors first. More industrial scale and. 87 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:48,440 Then the hedger, the real. Yeah. 88 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:50,840 I just because I'm standing with the odds because I'm one of the 89 00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:53,320 wedding tomorrow and we're going for a few drinks in Hollywood 90 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:56,880 tonight and I just worry about his plumbing when all the hair 91 00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:00,240 goes down the sink. But look if you're a guy like me 92 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:02,640 with a beard or you've got a pure beard or anything like that 93 00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:05,880 you go to manscape.com use your Co tea with me for 20% off for 94 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:08,720 free ship and the link is in the description my guest. 95 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:11,280 There's also show that also sports love for this T-shirt 96 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:15,760 creamy paints served with love nice T-shirt we're supporting 97 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,280 local. It's not mad. 98 00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:19,120 Look, look at the back of my sweet design there. 99 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:22,840 Weird way. Weird way for you to me to show 100 00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:24,200 you my back. Yeah. 101 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:34,440 Like a My guest is none other than comedy royalty. 102 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:37,560 He is a returning guest. Always great to have him on. 103 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:40,480 This was one of those episodes. We could have done 3 hours, 104 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:43,880 never mind one. He's going on tour in January. 105 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:46,320 We'll put a link up there if one exists yet. 106 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,200 He's none other than Colin Murphy. 107 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:51,480 There you go. I'll be in his T-shirt too. 108 00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:55,760 And bigger news you hope you don't mind me saying, but just 109 00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:58,240 minutes for recorded there. You you tell me you're watching 110 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:01,320 episode of first dates. I would not have had you down as 111 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:04,880 a as a first dates guy. Are you in the that whole world? 112 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:06,880 Are you in the? No first dates, right? 113 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:11,480 Genuinely like first dates. Not like, not like for me, no 114 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:15,240 happily married. The hell of a way to have to 115 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:17,320 find out, no? Some your wife will watch 116 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:21,400 together and happy to watch. On my own, yeah. 117 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:24,120 Naked from the West on cup of tea. 118 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:27,280 Nothing better. I genuinely know. 119 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,920 But. I honestly, I wouldn't. 120 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:34,240 I'd say you watch no, no, I would have you done as watching 121 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:43,360 like Time Team? No, I'd say you'd watch shows on 122 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,760 like discovery, but not even like me and this like Discovery 123 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:48,000 Turbo. Oh no I wouldn't. 124 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,400 But people taking apart. Discovery Turbo. 125 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:54,320 I'm Discovery Max and all this to I, I could see you watching 126 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:58,040 shows about they've stripped down this vintage motorcycle. 127 00:06:58,160 --> 00:06:59,640 No interest. Not whatsoever, right? 128 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:04,240 None whatsoever. Men talking about yeah, yeah. 129 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:09,920 Fucking brick horsepower. 1st. Dates no but. 1st dates are 130 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:12,560 going into my. Time watch not they used to 131 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:15,760 watch or no time Time Team Time Team time was different thing. 132 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,840 It. Was was, yeah, that's anyway, 133 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:21,560 umm, yeah. Time Team. 134 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:23,720 I did years ago when it was yeah. 135 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:26,160 Tony Robbins, Tony Ronson. Yeah, Got a bit of geophase. 136 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:27,680 Yeah, yeah. Not a bit of geophase. 137 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:31,440 What's Geophase? When they couldn't take up the 138 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:33,760 ground, they would go, oh, let's get the geophase and go, yeah, 139 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:37,120 geophase. And yeah, a man would haul a 140 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:38,560 thing across is. That his name. 141 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,320 X-ray, the ground geophase. Yeah. 142 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:43,360 He sounds like a guy we would have done it over. 143 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:46,760 My gig with Monitor definitely do this. 144 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:51,160 Yeah, no, I did like Canteen and then the reconstruct stuff like 145 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:52,680 all up. You ever dig dig anything 146 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:54,240 yourself? What do you mean digging? 147 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:59,120 Like would you would you be in? Randomly go out, yeah, but we're 148 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:01,960 going up and argue, you know, no skills. 149 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,600 No, none. Just can't be that difficult. 150 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:05,680 So I love them. Like if I'm on the beach with my 151 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:08,760 kids and they are, let's take a whole, I'll get more into that 152 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:09,840 than them. I love that. 153 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:11,840 Are you thinking like ahead? I'm going to find something. 154 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,440 Treasure. Yeah, or people, Asian people, 155 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:20,720 No, Australian people who could be who And I, by the way, I've 156 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:22,520 been to Australia, not slice head. 157 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:26,520 There's loads, loads on there. Lot of Asian people in Melbourne 158 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:28,160 doesn't exist. I like Trump off his resent. 159 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,840 Yeah, No, I do. Like hold on the first date 160 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,280 thing. I have to explain why. 161 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:33,280 Yeah, I don't have to explain why. 162 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:34,280 No, you don't need to explain that. 163 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:37,480 Brilliant. I love it because it's did. 164 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:41,799 You get in at the start. I don't know, right? 165 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:44,039 But long, it's a long run. And yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 166 00:08:44,039 --> 00:08:46,200 yeah, no. What's all whatever reruns out 167 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:47,680 Click. Yeah, by the way, no one's 168 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:49,080 thinking you're like a fair weather fun. 169 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,880 You're like, no, they're just, this is like being into a band. 170 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,840 I remember when it, you know, it changed the sort of the layer of 171 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:56,600 the restaurant. So this is Fred. 172 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:58,160 Yeah. Right. 173 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,600 So I know him from Fred Gordon and Gino. 174 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,040 So you go in, it's like a restaurant. 175 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:06,080 There's multiple dates going on. Multiple 1st dates going on 176 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:08,680 hidden cameras. And is the beauty of that one. 177 00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:11,760 Someone from here? No, the beauty of that is no 178 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,960 longer on there to be famous. It's a reality show where 179 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,680 nobody's there to be famous. It's actually really sweet. 180 00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:18,760 They're just there, you know? To find love. 181 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,080 Tough. Well, better. 182 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:24,840 Did he you know and. I've always said that he's our 183 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:26,240 love. Yeah, well, that's true. 184 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,320 That's very true. That's that's that's a 185 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:31,360 Valentine's gift there that's just done a on a card that he's 186 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:33,480 our love. That's so nice. 187 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:37,520 And yeah, that's why I like it. And it's it's, yeah, it's great. 188 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:40,520 It's when you see like from what I've seen, but like, when you 189 00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:42,640 see like, I think my wife will watch it. 190 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:47,280 You see, like a guy who'll go, ah, you know, I've lost my 191 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:48,360 confidence. Yeah. 192 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:50,120 I haven't been on a date in five years. 193 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:50,360 Yeah. Yeah. 194 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:51,920 You're just then you're just rooting for. 195 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:53,520 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, to get the leg over. 196 00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:55,480 Yeah, exactly. Do they do they ever? 197 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:56,960 Like is there ever a smooch or anything? 198 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:58,400 The rest? Yes, there's a there's a 199 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:00,800 smooching area, apparently there's a smoking area outside 200 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:04,720 and I've only ever seen two smooches in that, right. 201 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:08,120 Yeah. And one of them really went for 202 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:11,160 it. And all of a sudden, this 203 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:12,080 different show. Yeah. 204 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,760 Once a hand was on the face for a first note. 205 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,240 Oh, is that your? No, no, that's not my move or I 206 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:19,600 just think. I just think. 207 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:22,360 I just think that's intense for a first. 208 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:26,920 Look at me, you know, what did you just say to? 209 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:29,040 Them one hand on the face maybe All right 2. 210 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,480 Yeah, that's you're in big trouble then. 211 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:38,760 Yeah, it's ritual. I love it. 212 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:43,600 I like them. 90 day fiance now I got into that. 213 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:46,720 What's that one? If you like first dates and you 214 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:49,120 don't know 90 day Fiance. 90 day. 215 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:52,720 You all love this started as an American show. 216 00:10:53,200 --> 00:11:00,880 Umm, people around the world get paired up where you, uh, you're 217 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:02,720 busy. Like you get married at the end 218 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:06,120 of three months if you want to, but you live like you're 219 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:08,760 engaged. So they take these two people 220 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:12,560 from around the world who have already been speaking to each 221 00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:15,120 other. Yeah, people apply for the show. 222 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:17,320 I've been speaking with this person from around the world, 223 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:18,920 women online dating or whatever. OK. 224 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:22,080 I know. I want them to make a call. 225 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:26,040 So what they do is 90 days usually spend the first half of 226 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:29,040 that where you live and the second-half where they live. 227 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:33,720 And the casting of this is unbelievable. 228 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:37,640 And it's so like international dips in and out, the different 229 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,160 stories. Do they try and match them up 230 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:43,400 genuinely or I think it's one in four, like, you know, I've 231 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,160 worked in TV, you've written TV, you know, the producers don't 232 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:47,640 work like. That it's one in four. 233 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:51,320 Producers will go, yeah, they're gonna fucking hate each other. 234 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:55,360 Brilliant TV. Who was the guy who had to go to 235 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:59,080 Brazil for it? And I got him to do a Cameo 236 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:01,320 message for Dave. You know who I'm talking about? 237 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:08,200 So is this American guy dweeb of a guy who like lived with his ma 238 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:13,720 for years and having chatted a woman in Brazil, Patrick, I 239 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:18,360 think Patrick speaking to a woman in Brazil and she's from 240 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:20,200 like a tiny village and they have nothing. 241 00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:24,280 She's gorgeous. And then he goes out to stay 242 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:28,280 with her and God love him. He just he isn't caught out for 243 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:31,400 the world. I have this rings a bell. 244 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,960 Go on ahead. So yeah, he's got like small guy 245 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:40,280 with glasses and Paul, Paul, any name you're going to say, I'm 246 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:44,680 just going to repeat it. But it's what it's it's a name. 247 00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:48,280 And he goes out to Brazil and he gets himself in the all sorts of 248 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:52,320 but he just can't fit in with her family and SH, she gets 249 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,560 pregnant during the thing. And what it does is if you, if 250 00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,360 they like their story, they'll follow you. 251 00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:01,800 For years child. I think that's what he that's a 252 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:06,160 question he was asking to, but this is like at one point he 253 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:10,480 runs off and they're they're in like a flavella and. 254 00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:14,480 Flavella. Flavea, you say for that life, 255 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:16,920 say for that. OK, Brazilian for slum. 256 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,360 Favela. Flavella, what did I say? 257 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:27,280 Flavella. I was her name, so they're like 258 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:30,600 stay the camera crew or like stay here like don't go where we 259 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:33,080 can't see it yeah she says something to him that like hurts 260 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:38,040 his feelings and he just takes off yeah into like this area and 261 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:40,000 they're following him around with a camera. 262 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,800 But anyway, after the show ended, he was doing cameos. 263 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:47,120 He got some of them get really famous and the guy Ed as well 264 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:49,240 seen the guy with no neck. No, he's great. 265 00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:52,040 Umm, so I got the. Who the match him up with? 266 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,240 He. Was very long. 267 00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:56,800 I think they gave him a couple. He was living in LA. 268 00:13:56,800 --> 00:14:00,040 He's a wee short fat guy, called it but no neck. 269 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,920 Horrible guy. And it was obviously what they 270 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:07,640 do is they bring in like Asian ladies from like disadvantage 271 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:10,600 backgrounds and they're like, have fun guess. 272 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:12,160 See this is. Humidus. 273 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:13,760 All of a sudden, totally different show. 274 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:16,800 First, it's first. It's quite sweet, you know, go 275 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:17,720 out for dinner. Do you like it? 276 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:20,000 No, it's all right. And this one, you're human 277 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,720 trafficking. Yeah, that's what it is. 278 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:24,800 I got in touch with this guy Paul. 279 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:29,160 Yeah, I think he was called Paul eh, because they've loved the 280 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:33,040 night day fiance during COVID. That's what we were watching his 281 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,960 wife for watching it. So I got this guy to do a cameo 282 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:39,400 video message for Dave the say happy birthday. 283 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,560 And he was to say like, you know, big fan of your pocket. 284 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:46,000 He's I got him the typed everything slightly wrong. 285 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:49,320 He's like, I love your podcast and all this, but it's supposed 286 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,720 to be you paid for like a 45 second video message and it was 287 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:55,320 maybe £15. This the saddest thing ever is 288 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:59,200 this guy did a 10 minute video message to Dave because he had 289 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:00,400 nothing else going on in his life. 290 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:05,920 But he was still in Brazil in the fair and he he was just like 291 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:10,760 walking around this rundown house still lost, given us a 292 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:13,680 tour. So he's like, hey, Dave, Bobby, 293 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,280 you probably won't. You probably want to see the 294 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:17,720 house. We didn't, but he took us 295 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:20,480 through every room and he's going through like what's going 296 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,200 on in his life and it's not going well. 297 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,560 And it was the saddest, saddest thing. 298 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:27,000 I don't know whatever happened to Paul, but they were like, 299 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:29,240 they're making it work on Instagram because that's what 300 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:31,000 they do. How many rooms were in this? 301 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:36,160 Like there was like 3 parts of it, but they're just shit 302 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,280 everywhere. And he was just you know, he'd 303 00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:40,280 be like, oh, this is the living. And then he but he would let you 304 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:42,280 in intrusive thoughts be like this the living room. 305 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:44,320 He's like cry myself to sleep at night in here. 306 00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:47,040 And it was just what we can put some of it up. 307 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:48,800 I'll send you the clip. But that's what they do. 308 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:49,480 They. Cheer me up. 309 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:53,480 The couples on this, they want to, they get well known on the 310 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:56,280 show and then they have to stay together because if they can run 311 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:59,520 an Instagram page together, will you follow the rest of their 312 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:00,720 journey? And then the best thing in these 313 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:04,200 shows, the reunions or they get them all together. 314 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,000 And then the start. Yeah, they show them footage. 315 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,680 What did you think of the way you said this start then there's 316 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:11,120 other couples over there. Yeah, I wouldn't take up, you 317 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:13,760 know and then there. I see this is does no interest 318 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:15,800 to me whatsoever. This is This is like some sort 319 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:16,520 of. You want the. 320 00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:19,680 This is this is like the Real Housewives of Yeah, you know, 321 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:23,880 it's no, it's not. I don't like that at all. 322 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:26,080 Not see, that's I'm a short attention span. 323 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:28,080 So yeah, you know, first dates is great. 324 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:30,280 Over over. Don't don't care about the rest 325 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:31,080 of your life. Off you go. 326 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:33,200 Bye bye. Anchors a girl from Belfast just 327 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:37,120 on marry the first. Oh marry the first sights a 328 00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:39,320 different show. Do you like marry the first 329 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,000 sight? No, I don't like any. 330 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,280 Of the concept of that. Yes, but they're no. 331 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:46,280 But how wide is that? You you show up at the altar? 332 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:47,600 Yeah. But that's. 333 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:49,200 All there was a guy. Nobody. 334 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:54,920 There's a guy, There's a guy. Must be loads of Indian couples 335 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:58,120 watching not going. You know what? 336 00:16:58,120 --> 00:16:59,400 I mean, yeah, they've been doing that show for. 337 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,920 Yeah, it's like, it's like all of this is gonna got a great 338 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:04,119 idea for a show. Like you sort of uh huh. 339 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:07,800 There's a guy on the UK and I just saw a clip I haven't seen 340 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:11,839 the show and he he played a prank as his wife was walking 341 00:17:11,839 --> 00:17:14,520 down the aisle where he put in like fake teeth. 342 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:19,200 So he had like 4 teeth that were horrible and he waited his 10 343 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:21,319 out of 10 and she's walked down the aisle. 344 00:17:21,319 --> 00:17:24,599 He's good looking guy, but then he's like give her this smile 345 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:29,120 for these like 40 and her feet. It's fuck, it's essential view. 346 00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:32,760 But nowadays people are like the comments on that are if I came 347 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,080 out an early naughty people be like this guy's great, 348 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:39,640 brilliant, but the comments are like for him to take advantage 349 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:42,960 of her and do that like that and like this is horrible. 350 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:44,880 To what? He's not taking this seriously. 351 00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:46,840 We can't do false. He's no more. 352 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:48,960 He's no respect for the concept of marriage. 353 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:53,040 She showed up in good faith. Yeah. 354 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,880 To this stranger, yeah. Umm, I don't know. 355 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,480 I get like I get to in the reality TV, so that's why I 356 00:17:58,480 --> 00:17:59,840 can't watch. Yeah, I don't. 357 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:01,640 I don't. I watched one of those Real 358 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,840 Housewives for the first time. Never really watched. 359 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,280 Anything that was still going. Yeah, they're all sorts of I 360 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:09,360 can't remember what. But then they tried to do here, 361 00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:11,840 remember that the thing, Tyrone or something. 362 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,640 What was it? I love Tyrone or something. 363 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,920 Oh yeah, that wasn't really real. 364 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,400 No place like to. Die no place like to roll that 365 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,080 rings a bell. But I felt like they couldn't. 366 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,240 Like we're almost too, like it's too small. 367 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:25,560 We're too normal. Too small. 368 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:26,880 Yes, ladies. Friend of mine knows that. 369 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,640 He said when First Dates came on first, it was First Dates 370 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:33,360 Ireland lasted about two series, basically run out of people. 371 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,440 And yeah, it's good, really. Everybody knows everybody. 372 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,800 Yeah, yeah. And so this guy, you know, 373 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:41,080 comedian and he was saying, he was saying that he lived in a 374 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:44,360 shared house in Dublin and, and he was in the kitchen making a 375 00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:46,680 cup of tea. And he was the show was about to 376 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,800 start. And he says this won't work. 377 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,720 This country is too small. There's no way this will work. 378 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,760 And then he walked into the sitting room on the 1st moment 379 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:55,040 on the TV. He says, I've been over her. 380 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:59,440 They had been up with her. Yeah, that is too small. 381 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:01,080 Have you ever been asked to do reality TV? 382 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:07,960 Have I ever been asked to do? I was approached once about 383 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:14,920 doing a thing on RTE called the farm and it was so they got 384 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:22,520 celebrities and to go and be on a farm and just do farm things 385 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,600 right and somebody had to wank off a pig. 386 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,520 Rebecca Loose No. On the Irish one. 387 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:33,480 Yeah, or maybe I'm getting a mixed up with that one. 388 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,040 Yeah, No, no, I'm pretty sure. Anyway, don't do that. 389 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:39,320 No, they wouldn't do that. No, no, no. 390 00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:41,880 TV Three would have, yeah. Yeah. 391 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:43,560 Yeah, fact. I think they only showed that 392 00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:46,840 for a while. That's all this week on wanking 393 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:48,840 off a pig. I would hit the wank of I I 394 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,200 could milk a car and no problem. I'd hit the wank off a pig. 395 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:53,560 Lecture, lecture. Well, I think not be. 396 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,520 You milk a car, I. Think it would be like. 397 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,480 That's how you milk a bull. And they were like, you know, 398 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,800 the end of an ice pop. There's a machine that they got 399 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,440 to do it to milk. To milk a bull, Yeah. 400 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:05,240 Have you seen the machine? Jiggers, a lot of like farmers, 401 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,280 had to pretend to be raging when they brought that machine. 402 00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:12,200 They got this fake bullet you mount. 403 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:15,360 Yeah, so it mounts a fake, sorry sort of cow. 404 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,120 You might. The fake, yeah. 405 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:18,040 As a. Farmer. 406 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:23,600 That's a defence, that's a defence in court. 407 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,400 On the news mixed up on the new Extremeville. 408 00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:34,400 Discovery Extreme. Yeah, it's not this fake sort of 409 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:38,600 back end of a car and then the ball jumps up and create and 410 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,720 then and there's a boy inside and he has to catch it in a in a 411 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,200 big tube. That's not where you want to be 412 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:45,600 in life. That's not what you want to do. 413 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,080 No, there was a guy because it was a guy at a gig once and 414 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,840 that's what he did. Oh yeah, yeah. 415 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,680 And then, yeah, he says. I'm milk bulls. 416 00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:57,400 And then the whole room went do. You remember that time someone 417 00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,680 phoned Radio Ulster during the Jimmy Salvo? 418 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:01,760 Oh, yes. What would you call it? 419 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:04,640 Keeper inquiry, probably. Keepers, probably, yeah. 420 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:06,560 Disrespected a little bit. Yeah. 421 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:10,920 During that palaver where, you know, all the all the news came 422 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:14,960 out and somebody called up and said he fixed it for he was 423 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,720 actually a great guy. He fixed it for me to milk a 424 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:19,480 code blindfolded. The worst thing about that is 425 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:20,880 that they apologise because I don't. 426 00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:23,560 I think 9 out of 10 listeners wouldn't have bothered and I 427 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:25,400 live at that. But then they had to come on and 428 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,000 apologise. It was yeah, it was yeah, yeah. 429 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,800 And it was the total straight. It's on. 430 00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:33,200 It's yeah, yeah, it's on. It's on YouTube. 431 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,480 I told the story recently. I had to apologise once. 432 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:39,160 Ready, Wallster, for playing dance music on Easter, Easter 433 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:42,080 Friday, Good Friday. I did Good Friday. 434 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:47,080 Yeah, which is an Easter and I had to, I had to do a disclaimer 435 00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:52,440 at the start saying I don't know anything about all that stuff. 436 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:56,960 Is it clearly good dog? Good Friday. 437 00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:58,480 No Good Friday. Yeah. 438 00:21:58,480 --> 00:21:59,600 Good Friday. Yeah, Yeah. 439 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:01,800 What time are you on? 7. 440 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:05,600 Oh well, you'll be. 6:00 but the dude disclaimer. 441 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:07,360 Being a clock will be bad. Of all day. 442 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:10,360 Like just sorry if this offend you, but we're playing dance 443 00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:14,280 music now. That was a genuine thing we had 444 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:17,680 to do. Sorry immediately sorry if. 445 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:22,520 The scout man offend you but. What point did you have to that 446 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:23,800 was before? The show started. 447 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,600 But what? So it's a prerecorded show. 448 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:29,960 No, we were live. I had to do a message at the 449 00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,360 start start of the show and go hello everybody. 450 00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:35,440 If you're just joining this BBC Radio Ulster, Shane Taldray of 451 00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:38,560 lockdown. I know it's Easter Friday, Good 452 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:41,400 Friday, some people call it, and you shouldn't laugh at those 453 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:45,760 people, but we just want to say if you know, if something like 454 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,120 if you want to change station or whatever, totally understand. 455 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:52,400 No, it was like, if this isn't for you, no, no problem. 456 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,680 Just the next hour and a half, we'll just explain what it would 457 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:59,320 be and that it's might not be for everybody on Easter Stroke. 458 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:00,160 No. Way. 459 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:04,480 That's a great way to celebrate whatever happened that he came 460 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:06,640 back. Was it like what sort of was it 461 00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:07,440 like techno or? Something. 462 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:13,400 Oh yeah, just what you did. But the jungle. 463 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:18,160 But yeah, celebrating Good Friday. 464 00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:21,800 But what good for Easter is when he came back. 465 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:23,000 Yeah, Yeah. Right. 466 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:26,080 So I mean, that sounds like celebrate cause for celebration. 467 00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,280 Yeah, that was a Sunday. So a few big tunes, Yeah. 468 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,160 Oh, why won't even Friday? Well. 469 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:37,880 I get my disrespectful bomb, bomb, bomb. 470 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:41,040 No, no, no, no, no, no. It should have been like David 471 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:43,680 David Grey white ladder. Hard to do that when you're like 472 00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:47,560 that, it's difficult. It's all we're in the face. 473 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:58,280 That's why they were annoyed. I get it now. 474 00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:01,240 I get it now. But they do call it Good Friday 475 00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:01,880 for. Whatever. 476 00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:04,440 I know that's Yeah, yeah. Don't understand that. 477 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:07,120 Never understood that. Even a kid never understood 478 00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:11,000 that. You ever gigged it any type of 479 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:15,640 day where breaking news has come out or anything that has been 480 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:20,080 relayed to you? Made my joke, slagging off the 481 00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:26,600 Pope in Dublin in Wrecker St Midway through the joke, some 482 00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:28,800 guy at the back shouted he just died. 483 00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:33,120 And I went what? And I started laughing and I 484 00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:35,240 could see phones just lighten up all over. 485 00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:41,160 Yeah, John Paul the second died, Yeah, while I was on stage just. 486 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,520 Imagine every time you did that. Well, that's exactly what I 487 00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:44,960 said. And then I started making jokes 488 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:46,720 about lots of other people. Because I. 489 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,160 And eventually I turned to some people going, and it's very 490 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:52,480 disrespectful to people going. Yeah. 491 00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:56,120 And they were short. And people like to that one make 492 00:24:56,120 --> 00:25:00,320 a joke about them. Because I did you know about 493 00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:03,360 Glasgowbury? You've heard a yes? 494 00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:05,600 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Party run a festival in 495 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:07,320 Draperstone. Yeah, it was brilliant, like a 496 00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:12,600 mini Glastonbury and Draperstone and I was on stage and only a 497 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:16,800 couple years in the stand up and I was awful with rowdy 498 00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:18,440 audiences. I couldn't. 499 00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:22,520 I remember the gig where I got over that, but for years I just 500 00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:24,200 couldn't. If they were talking or 501 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:26,000 whatever, I could never. Write the music thing as well. 502 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,200 It's always the worst audience. Yeah. 503 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:30,240 And it was, it was later in the day and I was first on. 504 00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:31,960 Yeah. And in this comedy tent. 505 00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:34,600 And Amy Way knows that. And someone told me as I walked 506 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:37,840 on stage and I went, Amy Way knows just that, but I didn't 507 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:38,800 have a joke about it. Yeah. 508 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:40,800 So I just said that and then started doing material. 509 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:44,760 But all my dad's a bit of a pervert and you could see 510 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:49,280 everybody getting their full note, look it up or talk about 511 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:50,640 it. So I just lost them for the 512 00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:52,040 whole time. So oh. 513 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:54,880 Yeah, you don't do that. Yeah, you don't. 514 00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:57,080 You really don't do that. Yeah, there was a guy not in the 515 00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:58,600 sable. Just giving them news. 516 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:02,880 It's a guy on the Empire on Tuesday, and he was working 517 00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:04,040 away. You know, the two or three guys 518 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:08,320 in this table in front, one guy what he did and you, what do you 519 00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:11,040 do is I make documentaries. I said, all right, that's good. 520 00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:12,480 Well, what sort of the last documentary made? 521 00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,680 And he said it was for TG CAR, Irish Language Station and 522 00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:17,480 South. And I said, what was it about? 523 00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:20,080 And then he started laughing and he knew this was just going to 524 00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:22,600 kill the gig. And he says it was about a guy 525 00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:26,400 who discovered a type of cancer. Let's move on. 526 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:28,120 You know what I mean? Instead of. 527 00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:30,280 But if you're being more than one. 528 00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:32,400 Exactly. Well, the only thing is, if 529 00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:35,280 you're a bit and experienced, you will ask him what type of 530 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:36,960 concert you know. It's just you don't want to. 531 00:26:37,120 --> 00:26:38,440 It's not good. Yeah. 532 00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:39,640 You don't want, you want to move away. 533 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,280 You see exactly what you said. You walked out. 534 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:43,040 Give them information that distracted them. 535 00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:44,400 Yeah. It's more interesting than you 536 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:46,880 were going to be. Yeah, I remember a gig and 537 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:50,440 Lauren Football Club years and years ago and asked the guy what 538 00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:55,280 his tattoos were and he goes there were your tattoos for and 539 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:58,800 he says my dad and it was like a guy with long hair and a beard. 540 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,200 No, And I went, oh, your dad's a very good looking guy. 541 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:02,800 He goes nuts and Angel to represent them. 542 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:04,560 He's dead. I was like, all right. 543 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,200 Look, asking anybody here, what's your tattoo? 544 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:09,880 Is it dangerous thing to do anyway? 545 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:15,120 It's not. It's only Terry there. 546 00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:20,280 Yeah, it's just. I don't think I've never done 547 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:22,360 reality. I auditioned for we talk about 548 00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:24,640 Nepal quite a lot, but that you'll find me the funny if you 549 00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:26,600 remember that. Oh yes, yes, I auditioned like 550 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:29,800 every comedian my age audition for that at the time and that 551 00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:31,600 was can't. That wasn't really reality TV, 552 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,360 but it was closest we've kind of got to. 553 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:36,560 I did. I've just remembered it did. 554 00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:38,160 Do I love it? If you like, I was in the first 555 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:40,760 series of Big Brother. No, I was on Love Island and. 556 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:57,640 Collins entered the villa, Yeah. The first time when I was an 557 00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:06,800 actor and I went to Edinburgh and what, 1995, it was 95 and it 558 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:12,280 was in a play and BBC Two, we're doing this thing where 559 00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:15,600 everybody's first Fringe. So it's at least people. 560 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:17,720 So it's us and someone else, someone else. 561 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,960 And so Amit Jalili was one of the other people that, well 562 00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:23,520 actually. And so we were heading over from 563 00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,680 here, do a play called Dog Man. I was playing a dog. 564 00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:30,320 Someone else playing man. You know, it was I was playing a 565 00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:34,160 dog who becomes a man, and I become a man by eating my own 566 00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:39,440 testicles every night 8:00. Was this comedy? 567 00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:44,440 No fucking very serious stuff. It's a classic novel cut by 568 00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:47,280 Mikhail Bulgakova. Have you gone sample? 569 00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:52,240 Fuck off, Bernard. I've gone Bernard and I don't. 570 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:57,920 Know which is what? And yeah, I told him I'm still 571 00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:05,360 smoking and careful. My coach the Yeah, so we would 572 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:09,000 so news night had this week segment following these people. 573 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:12,080 So came over, filmed this, getting ready for going to 574 00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:14,400 Edinburgh, going to Edinburgh, getting our first reviews, all 575 00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:15,760 that kind of thing. What did you been? 576 00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:20,080 There I don't know, but only designed 1995 I don't know. 577 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:25,480 Start of your career. 2728 something got and yeah, it was 578 00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:27,360 only I was I think I've just started doing open spots. 579 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:29,440 I was doing a bit of stand up, but it was yeah, it was just a 580 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:31,120 play. So there was a bit six of us and 581 00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:34,480 this thing yeah, we're on news night three times a week and 582 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:36,920 yes, I think it can be found on YouTube. 583 00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,160 OK. And that play go well. 584 00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:41,880 Did. Yeah, did all right. 585 00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:43,400 Yeah, We've got some good reviews, Yeah. 586 00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:48,320 And what it would would, would dog, would dog man Ever. 587 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:53,160 We were down right, So Dog Man was on in this theatre, right? 588 00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:56,640 And Little Theatre, it was called the Morningside. 589 00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:59,680 And then so we were in the downstairs and we studio and 590 00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:04,480 then upstairs was Eartha Kitt who was in Batman, the original 591 00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:08,920 Batman in 1960s and she played Catwoman and Batman. 592 00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:11,920 So Catwoman was upstairs and Batman was downstairs or Dog Man 593 00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:13,160 was downstairs. It's fucking brilliant. 594 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:16,520 And there were two plays called Dog Man, Not here one, but it's 595 00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:17,760 all. About the same thing. 596 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:19,880 Well, that was the thing. The other one was a kids show, 597 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,120 right? Our star. 598 00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:24,120 Yeah. And there will be people come to 599 00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:26,760 our show thinking it was the other one, right? 600 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:27,920 Like a kids show. Yeah. 601 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:31,840 Yeah. And the show would open with a 602 00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:35,120 screen with battleship attention, like clips of that 603 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:36,680 black and white movie on the thing. 604 00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:38,160 And then the the screen would be ripped down. 605 00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,720 And then all of us would grow on and out dressed as dogs and go 606 00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:43,360 up and hump people's legs and sniff people's crutches. 607 00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:48,080 And kids were screaming, it's just, And then I did my own 608 00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:50,720 testicles and they were like behind. 609 00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:52,880 And your method right? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 610 00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:57,080 It's other people's for the, you know, the run through. 611 00:30:57,560 --> 00:30:58,680 Sorry about that mobulating. Sorry. 612 00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:01,840 Unprofessional. Do you need to be somewhere? 613 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:05,720 And I would have baby beetroots. That's what we used for the 614 00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:07,960 testicles floating in a jar of vinegar. 615 00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:09,640 So you can pick them out and hold them up and really make the 616 00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:11,560 most of it and bite into them. Yeah, men. 617 00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:13,320 And most of the men in the room made that noise. 618 00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:16,520 I don't know if that's a fruit I would automatically. 619 00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,960 More of a vegetable. To some people. 620 00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:22,840 Well. To some people, one man's 621 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:24,840 vegetable. Fruit does not grow in the 622 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:26,600 ground. Depends what way you grow. 623 00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:31,960 No, that attitude. Doesn't so, but attitude isn't 624 00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:33,520 it? Are you garden? 625 00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:36,120 You're not even fucking trying to grow. 626 00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:41,080 Put a fucking effort in. Well, all my all my farming 627 00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:43,200 knowledge and I come from Clarkson's Farm, which is what 628 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:44,840 I'm obsessed with on TV. Oh, yeah. 629 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:46,440 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's incredible. 630 00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:47,280 It is. He's an. 631 00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:50,960 Arse, but it's a great show. I've always like, not hated him, 632 00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:52,800 but I dislike him. He's annoying. 633 00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:53,960 Everything about him I hear. Yeah, yeah. 634 00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:55,800 Then I started watching this one I love. 635 00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:57,720 Really. Yeah. 636 00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:01,920 OK, I'd say it makes me think that loads of the stuff and the 637 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,280 bluster and the shite that he comes out with is just that. 638 00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:06,160 Exactly. This is the first time when 639 00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:09,840 you're seeing him and it still comes out the old time, but he's 640 00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:12,080 he's, he's likeable. He's likeable. 641 00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:15,920 He is a not even drive you. I think if he was you may drive 642 00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:18,000 you fucking nuts. Yeah, you'd have to be 643 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:20,120 apologising for him a lot. Yeah, yeah. 644 00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:22,400 Do you know what I mean? If you introduce people to him 645 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:24,520 for the first time, yes, He got not like he's all right. 646 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:26,200 Yeah. Don't talk punch stuff. 647 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:27,280 Producer. Yeah, Yeah. 648 00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:28,760 Don't talk about those things, yeah. 649 00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:30,160 Because he can get a stick, yeah. 650 00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:32,720 Yeah, because he got a big payout, that fella. 651 00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:35,240 Best way to grow steak in the ground? 652 00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:37,920 In the ground already. Not on a tree, no. 653 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,720 In the ground. Did anyone when you were doing 654 00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:44,280 Adam Brooke over the years, did anybody ever come to your show 655 00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:46,480 that really made. Yes, I had several people came, 656 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:50,560 Yeah. I'm very, very. 657 00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:52,000 Doing the whole thing. Very dare you? 658 00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:54,000 But would anyone be? Here's why. 659 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:57,760 I tell you why, because next, we had already gone up by the time. 660 00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:00,560 But I'm doing Clive Anderson's panel show. 661 00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:02,880 Oh yeah. Radio 4. 662 00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:07,520 Which panel show you don't know? Talking point or something? 663 00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:10,960 No, that's a get that I don't know. 664 00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:14,640 Oh, the art show. Not the art show. 665 00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:15,960 The ones. Hopefully not art. 666 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:17,320 Show shit. What's it called? 667 00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,440 Front row? No, that's the front row. 668 00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:22,480 Fucking hell. Anyway, I'm doing it in Glasgow, 669 00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:24,800 yeah. Loose ends. 670 00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:27,800 That's the boy, yes. Don't know what it is but I'm 671 00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:30,240 doing it. You're plugging a gig, that's 672 00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:32,560 why you're on it. No, I'm no, I'm already there. 673 00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:33,920 So the gig already have happened. 674 00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:35,920 This is the day after the gig. Oh. 675 00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:38,160 They know I'm in time. Why you don't? 676 00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:41,240 Usually people go on there to plug a gig. 677 00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:42,080 That's what it's for. Well. 678 00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:43,720 I'll probably plug the rest of the tour. 679 00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:45,360 Oh, there you go, the Glasgow date already. 680 00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:46,640 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 681 00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:47,800 Anyway, they were like, we do it. 682 00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,240 I said, Yep, love to. They said. 683 00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:53,440 Clive is going to come to your show the old night before. 684 00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:58,120 No, that is really making me nervous. 685 00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:02,160 I should. Because I don't think like, 686 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:04,000 he'll be in the suit, like he'll be in the suit. 687 00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:07,440 I I would presume so. I've never seen a picture of the 688 00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:08,600 man without a suit. Yeah. 689 00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:12,480 So that's that's going to weird me, but I wondered like for the 690 00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:16,280 years of doing the likes of the fringe and Kilkenny where we 691 00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:17,360 just wrote, I'll talk to you about. 692 00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:19,880 But like, have you ever seen anybody in the audience that's 693 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:27,880 particularly made you all flip? He or she is in eh, even though 694 00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:31,400 the comic, you know, even even another comic being in the room 695 00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:33,960 as you do your set. I know I don't like it when 696 00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:35,440 comedians are in the room. Jesus, that's. 697 00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:39,520 Yeah, no, that's terrifying. Family members. 698 00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:42,080 Another one don't can't have family anywhere near the 699 00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:48,000 anywhere near the room. And yeah, I had the last tour. 700 00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:55,120 I was in Newry and my aunt, let's slip that a load of my 701 00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:58,720 cousins were coming and I have a big family and they took up two 702 00:34:58,720 --> 00:35:01,520 rows and they sat 3 rows from the front. 703 00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:05,920 Yeah, I know. It went hey, and I went, oh. 704 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:08,680 The minute I walked on, I thought, you're not. 705 00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:10,880 Usually people do. No, but like they. 706 00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:12,600 Applauded when you went on in the world. 707 00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:17,480 I know they went way they didn't even applaud or anyway, some of 708 00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:18,680 them look like they didn't want to be there. 709 00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:22,840 They were going to fucking her idea and you're mentally you're 710 00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:24,480 going counted up it counted up it. 711 00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:26,280 You. Know what I mean? 712 00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:29,240 Well, this is the show I'm just about to start. 713 00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:33,200 Is I always talk about like what's happening, like currently 714 00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:34,800 in my life, the year I'm doing the tour, whatever. 715 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,840 This first time I'm going way, way back. 716 00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:41,800 So this is story family stories from growing up that I don't 717 00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:44,080 know why I haven't told them until now, but it's the first 718 00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:47,560 time I've ever had that ask. Like the double check, double 719 00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:50,520 check, but then quite a few. Are they old stories about you 720 00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:52,760 or about other people in your family, both that have knew 721 00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:55,040 nothing to do with you? Couple of stories are nothing to 722 00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:57,760 do with me, some that are but but everybody, they're either 723 00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:00,240 dead or they said it was fine. All right, sorry. 724 00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:04,960 Well, so did you tell them exactly what you're going to say 725 00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:08,120 or I said, do you remember that time you said the thing? 726 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:09,440 Yes. So they don't know that you're 727 00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:11,240 going to go. That's that's the truth. 728 00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:12,840 This is where it's going to end up. 729 00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:17,360 There's a story where my dad nearly killed my uncle OK by 730 00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:19,480 accident and that was the only one. 731 00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:23,480 My dad was like, anyway, that's fine because like, he's been 732 00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:24,720 dead for a certain of many years, man. 733 00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:31,160 Because. But every everyone seems OK. 734 00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,480 But but yeah, he would hit the idea that the people you're 735 00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:36,400 talking about would be there. Yeah, well, see, they're gonna. 736 00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:40,120 Not because of what they'll hear, just because you just 737 00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:42,720 wonder what they're thinking of. People get offended. 738 00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:46,200 I hit the fucking new things. That it's stuck on. 739 00:36:46,240 --> 00:36:48,040 The stock on once but I don't it. 740 00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:50,920 I don't get that. The white see if you really see 741 00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:52,200 if you really it's all about attitude. 742 00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:55,440 If you want, you pull that off. Well, that's you can do that 743 00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:56,840 with anything. Just imagine it's a pig. 744 00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:01,760 Yeah, your dad was planning to get your. 745 00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:06,720 Uncle I just wank him the dead. Yeah, pull him inside out. 746 00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:13,080 All right, pay my uncle I, but I don't like when you do pull it 747 00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:15,200 off. You got to do it a certain way 748 00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:17,280 because you don't want to get see that we tag. 749 00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:19,560 Yeah, sometimes you'll get that. And then your lip hits up. 750 00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:23,920 So you if you if you pull it off, yank the whole thing. 751 00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:26,960 Fuck the environment. Yeah, but I'll still bend. 752 00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,120 I'll still bend that. I don't get why that's attached 753 00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:31,440 to that. I think because you can recycle 754 00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:34,720 the whole thing. Ah, no, I. 755 00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:38,680 Think that's what it's for. So the whole thing's recyclable. 756 00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:41,400 Yeah, that's what you recycle. So they wanted to keep it 757 00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:42,800 together. I, it was stand up, the idea 758 00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:45,880 that somebody I went to school with would be there not not, not 759 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:49,480 somebody I knew pretty well because then my brain, what 760 00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:51,960 takes over in my brain is what do you think they do know? 761 00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:55,320 Someone takes over. Do you know what I would pay so 762 00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:57,160 much money? Not that they know this isn't 763 00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:58,800 true. This story that I am telling. 764 00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:04,560 Right now I would pay good money to get like a big book of 765 00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,000 everybody I went to school with from primary school right up to 766 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,480 secondary. OK, what do they do? 767 00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:11,360 I want a couple of paragraphs on everybody. 768 00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:13,240 What are they doing? I. 769 00:38:13,240 --> 00:38:16,600 Would have to be a big book. Because that's loads of people. 770 00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:18,960 No, it's the same class. All the way yes, but I want 771 00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:20,680 quite a lot of information on everybody. 772 00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:24,280 I might not I might skim some of them OK, but I want like a 773 00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:26,240 detailed like what? What have you been up? 774 00:38:26,240 --> 00:38:29,440 I don't want to have the conversation, No, I just want 775 00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:30,800 to. Have you been to any reunions? 776 00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:32,720 Have you ever like, has there been a reunion? 777 00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:38,440 Yeah, yes, there was a secondary school one. 778 00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:41,440 I would go to a primary school 1 definitely. 779 00:38:41,720 --> 00:38:42,960 Yeah, OK. Yeah, I could see that. 780 00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:45,440 No, I can understand that because there's a much such a 781 00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:47,360 massive gap. Yeah, yeah. 782 00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:49,480 And I loved premise. I didn't really like school 783 00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:50,720 after premise. I didn't like either. 784 00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:54,400 But I I, I would probably go to that, I think. 785 00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:56,240 But there's never, there's never been one. 786 00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:58,680 Have you? No, I've never been there was 787 00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:04,920 one popped up on somewhere. Photograph must be Facebook or 788 00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:08,240 some sort of social media thing. It popped up and it was from 789 00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:11,880 about maybe a year and a half, two years ago. 790 00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:17,320 I wasn't even invited and umm, loads of people there and I go, 791 00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:18,480 what's wrong? My clothes. 792 00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:19,880 Yeah. You wouldn't have gone. 793 00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:22,600 I wouldn't have gone and. You wanted to be invited so you 794 00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:23,880 could. Yes, but I wasn't sure it was 795 00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:25,240 all that class. I was looking at them and I was 796 00:39:25,240 --> 00:39:28,120 thinking, oh wow. And they were all going hey. 797 00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:29,720 And I thought. Oh, but. 798 00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:36,600 There wasn't, but there wasn't. It looked bad because it was. 799 00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:42,920 They were all wearing either a check shirt, yeah, it's like 800 00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:47,400 short sleeve check shirt or a blue work shirt. 801 00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:48,400 That's what they were all wearing. 802 00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,120 All of them were wearing. Lay some of them over the. 803 00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:52,120 Top not even a GLA there wasn't even a GLA right. 804 00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:54,280 Yeah, but yeah, I know what you're thinking yes Patrick. 805 00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:58,240 And it would be Yeah and but no it was just all these men going 806 00:39:58,240 --> 00:40:00,440 away. It looked like a load of oil 807 00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:03,320 fillers and someone had said, who doesn't know where they 808 00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:05,880 live? Yeah, you know, that's. 809 00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:07,880 And I thought, no, they can't be. 810 00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:09,280 That's not my. But you don't. 811 00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:10,920 They look way older than. Me. 812 00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:14,160 I think that too. I think if I was at a reunion of 813 00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:18,280 people I went to school with, I think I would feel younger than 814 00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:19,840 everybody. Yeah. 815 00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:22,440 In terms of even just like the way I dress, Yes. 816 00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:25,480 And all that kind of stuff. Yeah, like, like you, you. 817 00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:28,400 And but the way the way you talk, as well as because we live 818 00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:32,600 in a world where you only deal with media people and other 819 00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:35,080 comedians, which is incredibly juvenile, Yeah. 820 00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,560 Even though you're adults and you've got children and you're 821 00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:40,360 married and you've got relationships and all that kind 822 00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:40,800 of thing. Yeah. 823 00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:44,000 Our conversations with work colleagues are entirely fucking 824 00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:44,680 different, right? Yeah. 825 00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:47,400 I go to things from a message. The message is a doctor. 826 00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:48,920 Yeah. And over the years, I used to go 827 00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:52,560 to the odd thing, right, That I'd be invited or allowed to 828 00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:57,800 doctor functions and which sounds like a person and who 829 00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:03,520 looks after your bits. And I beat and whole time I'm 830 00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:06,520 there, I am shitting myself because I know I'm going to have 831 00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:09,320 one drink too many. They are going to tell stories 832 00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:11,520 and they're sometimes and she doesn't sometimes maybe know 833 00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:13,280 these people that well or not people she meant to call it. 834 00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:14,720 They're just, you know, colleagues. 835 00:41:14,720 --> 00:41:17,560 I hate that word colleagues. And they would tell a story and 836 00:41:17,720 --> 00:41:22,960 then everybody goes and I'm going, I don't know why it's 837 00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:25,240 funny. And then I go, how do you think 838 00:41:25,240 --> 00:41:26,480 that's embarrassing? What do you hear this? 839 00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:29,960 And then I'll come out with like, tell you what? 840 00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:32,160 I does anyone here ever stood in their own shit? 841 00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:38,800 Seriously, anybody and nobody. Everybody goes. 842 00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:41,720 And then I go because here when you hear what happened to me and 843 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,240 I launch into it. And then because you think you 844 00:41:44,240 --> 00:41:46,120 can do that to real to real people. 845 00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:47,880 They're normal people, just the real people. 846 00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:50,000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's the type of stuff 847 00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:53,520 that, yes, we, we, we will tell stories to each other about 848 00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:55,800 completely humiliating things. Yeah. 849 00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:57,480 And the complete strangers, Yeah. 850 00:41:57,920 --> 00:41:59,280 And we think this is normal behaviour. 851 00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:03,800 Yeah, I don't, I don't feel when I take my kids to soft play, I'm 852 00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:06,240 in with them. I'm running about that. 853 00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:08,600 I I. Revert back to yeah, yeah, yeah, 854 00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:10,800 I'm. Playing because I see parents my 855 00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:13,120 age and younger who will sit with a book. 856 00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:16,000 You know, they see that as their time to sit with. 857 00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:19,240 They talk to other parents and I go, what are you talking about? 858 00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:22,960 Did you ever do that? I yeah, I always do. 859 00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:26,760 Not when you see groups of people together like, yes, all 860 00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:29,280 they're like. We've had a tough quarter, 861 00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:32,080 grown-ups. Yes, and they're work 862 00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,400 colleagues, Yes, under certain chat, but you know, they don't 863 00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:35,880 really know each other. Yes, yes. 864 00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:37,760 And you know what? An airport is really good place 865 00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:39,920 for it in hotels. And you're staying in hotels and 866 00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:41,400 you see people and they're having meetings and after the 867 00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:43,560 meeting they have a bit of a, you know, a bit of a yes, cooled 868 00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:44,560 on a Pearl drink. Yeah. 869 00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:48,640 And they're talking and they're, I want to join the conversation 870 00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:50,200 just to see. What are you fucking? 871 00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:51,480 Talking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 872 00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:52,800 Why? It's like Christians, right? 873 00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:56,520 It's like born again Christians. I want to know what they're 874 00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:58,680 saying to each other that they laugh so much. 875 00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:01,000 Are they looking over at me, going look at him? 876 00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:05,440 Doesn't even believe in God. Such a heathen. 877 00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:11,880 Like Ezekiel 414. Oh, you shut up. 878 00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:15,600 Yeah, set me off again. It's what are they talking 879 00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:17,320 about. But that's the benefit of tech 880 00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:19,200 talk nowadays. You can see what they're talking 881 00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:21,080 about. What Christians are in tech 882 00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:23,280 talk? Oh, they love it. 883 00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:24,800 Do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 884 00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:26,800 And what are they doing to make each other they'll? 885 00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:31,280 Just get into like, Oh, well, you know, they might go to like 886 00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:34,960 festivals, like Christian festivals, and they'll just like 887 00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:35,760 music. Festivals. 888 00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:40,400 Yeah, BBQ to be far. The setup usually looks dastly. 889 00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:43,960 Would be yeah, yeah, waste all the money and drink. 890 00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:47,520 And I don't know, I think they're, they're, they're not 891 00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:50,160 really like, they're not in the loads of stuff. 892 00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:53,920 They just like the Lord and a game of Frisbee. 893 00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:57,560 They love Frisbee Christians. Love a bit of frisbee, massive 894 00:43:57,560 --> 00:44:00,480 frisbee and bowling. Yeah, I can see that I do. 895 00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:03,120 The Love, The Love. 10 pin bowling mad for 10 pin bowling. 896 00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:08,240 Have you ever noticed that if you good up all it's either 897 00:44:08,240 --> 00:44:10,360 Christians or guys that work in Chinese restaurants? 898 00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:13,560 That's what it is. Used to be a whole league used 899 00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:14,920 to run in Belfast. All the guys, the Chinese 900 00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:17,440 restaurants would come in on Sunday evening and play ball. 901 00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:21,440 That is a movie we need to make of the the Chinese restaurant 902 00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:24,480 case versus the Christians of Belfast and I get it heats up 903 00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:25,000 you. Know. 904 00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:28,480 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, just just tech talk now 905 00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:32,080 that that's a huge the algorithm of throws up for me that it says 906 00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:36,320 I like is 90s football. So you'll get I'll get like a 907 00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:38,960 compilation of Georgie King classy. 908 00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:44,040 And then I will get local Christian beef because people 909 00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:47,120 will be. Local Christian beef. 910 00:44:48,240 --> 00:44:51,880 People will be they'll be out there, you know, the usual like 911 00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:55,040 walking down Royal Ave be like, you know, you need to be see 912 00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:57,280 people need to be saved and talking about just how great it 913 00:44:57,280 --> 00:44:58,440 is. And then you'll get people 914 00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:00,400 commenting under that being like gay. 915 00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:06,280 And then they will come back to that, you know, And then because 916 00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:09,360 that's the thing, people make videos replying to comments. 917 00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:12,120 So I I put up a standard. I don't. 918 00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:13,720 See it all so I. Put up a standard. 919 00:45:14,720 --> 00:45:17,360 If I went on TikTok the police would be at the door. 920 00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:21,240 I'm of that age. If we put up a clip of the 921 00:45:21,240 --> 00:45:24,840 podcast and you write shite under, we can make a video with 922 00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:28,320 that comment. So you see the comment, Colin 923 00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:31,200 Murphy shite, and then we're like, well, this is a problem 924 00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:36,360 people, you know, So what tech talk does very well is it just 925 00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:40,560 creates content because then someone can reply to your video. 926 00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:43,240 Of the video. So it just never ends. 927 00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:45,320 It never ends. And the whole Christian things 928 00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:49,800 massive and you basically have tech talk, movement of people, 929 00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:53,880 Christians in Belfast and then the people who hit that are 930 00:45:53,880 --> 00:45:57,680 going against them and it's just, and meanwhile I'm a loser 931 00:45:57,680 --> 00:45:59,440 and just sitting at home watching it. 932 00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:02,000 And then the algorithm thinks this is what you love. 933 00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:07,720 Yeah, it thinks I love that. That's a lot of not tech talk. 934 00:46:07,720 --> 00:46:09,320 I don't like the idea of that it. 935 00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:11,800 I don't, I don't. I dropped X or Twitter, whatever 936 00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:14,040 it is to drop all of that stuff Instagrams only want to do. 937 00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:17,600 I yeah, I just use X for football news. 938 00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:20,960 That's I, I know you're not football fan, but much of that I 939 00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:23,120 watch much of the day religiously, ironically 940 00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:28,280 religiously every week. And and now it's just YouTube 941 00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:31,120 highlights and I never thought I'd be this guy or I just follow 942 00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:32,560 a couple of journalists on X. That's all. 943 00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:37,720 That's all I read. See I yeah, the Max ohm imagine 944 00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:39,680 hospital. There's a guy somewhere on the 945 00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:43,480 corridor which is in and his and he's an all fuller. 946 00:46:44,240 --> 00:46:46,640 So his ringtones unbelievably fucking low. 947 00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:49,200 Yes right. It's like a great hundred 500 948 00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:52,200 Watt PA, right? And a tilt takes some ages to 949 00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:54,240 answer it right because he's trying to hang the button to 950 00:46:54,240 --> 00:46:55,640 turn it off. You got to open it. 951 00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:59,560 Yeah, it's one of you have to dial it up, Hello. 952 00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:03,360 And then but it's Match of the Day is the theme tune, but the 953 00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:06,720 proper old school match of. The day the polyphonic ring. 954 00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:10,160 The one that I grew up with. Yeah, so it's not the song, it's 955 00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:12,480 a ringtone of the song. No. 956 00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:15,880 What's the actual actual song? Yes, I love that. 957 00:47:16,080 --> 00:47:19,080 He's got that, but it rings every fucking minute. 958 00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:22,160 And 1/2. Do you know how many answer this 959 00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:23,880 quick? How many days are in much of the 960 00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:31,840 day? 1. 72 That's a closure on my new 961 00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:33,800 tour. I've just given it away. 962 00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:39,120 Last time you were in, you were talking about taking a break to 963 00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:43,920 go travel and want some holidays and do Oh yeah, have you done? 964 00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:46,760 That I did went to Was that Barbados? 965 00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:50,520 Yeah, What's that like? The pigs on the beach Is your 966 00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:52,640 pigs on the beach. Pigs on the beach. 967 00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:53,400 No chickens. Oh. 968 00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:56,800 Yeah, so you thought it was. You're like pigs on the big 969 00:47:56,800 --> 00:47:58,480 chickens. Yes, those chickens normal. 970 00:47:58,480 --> 00:48:00,040 Stuff. And is anyone wanking them off? 971 00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:01,400 Roosters. Not harder. 972 00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:04,320 It's hard. It's yeah. 973 00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:12,160 Continue. Very. 974 00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:15,960 Do they do? I mean, do chickens have Dicks? 975 00:48:16,240 --> 00:48:17,680 What's going on down there? They have a. 976 00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:21,160 Cock. Oh, cocks a man chicken. 977 00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:27,360 Yes, the clues in the near. So all our chickens are female. 978 00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:29,920 Hands. Yes, you live in the confron. 979 00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:31,880 What's the difference between a hand and a chicken? 980 00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:39,520 One of them spelled HEN. You've got hands, Roosters, 981 00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:40,960 cocks, chickens. Yeah. 982 00:48:41,040 --> 00:48:43,880 Rooster cock. Then turkeys are getting 983 00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:45,240 involved. The Turkey, yeah, totally 984 00:48:45,240 --> 00:48:46,400 different species, but yeah, I've. 985 00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:49,960 Never seen chickens meat has anyone? 986 00:48:50,720 --> 00:48:51,920 Chickens meat. They're mates with other 987 00:48:51,920 --> 00:48:56,200 chickens. Yeah, they're not mates with 988 00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:57,840 turkeys. And let me ask you a genuine 989 00:48:57,840 --> 00:49:00,440 question. Chickens lay eggs. 990 00:49:01,560 --> 00:49:04,640 Yeah, Hensley eggs, yeah. OK, OK. 991 00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:09,560 If you're going to get pedantic right, Hensley eggs. 992 00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:13,000 I've just found out Hensley. Eggs, yeah. 993 00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:16,520 But what? What is? 994 00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:18,960 What's the diff? What's the difference between 995 00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:22,200 when they lay a child egg and a breakfast egg? 996 00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:26,840 Sometimes there's your child in it, and sometimes there's 997 00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:29,520 there's, there's. Post eggs more than the car 998 00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:34,840 seat. But they how do you know whether 999 00:49:34,840 --> 00:49:38,440 it's going to be a baby chicken or an egg that you eat? 1000 00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:41,880 That's the fun of it. When you crack the egg open. 1001 00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:48,800 I've no idea. I remember watching a programme 1002 00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:53,400 once, but always on children's TV is the scariest fucking thing 1003 00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:56,160 I've ever seen in my life. And it was on when we were in 1004 00:49:56,160 --> 00:50:00,000 primary school. When I was in primary school, 1005 00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:02,080 you'd be there was no TV in the room. 1006 00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:04,160 There will be one TV for the whole school, Right. 1007 00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:05,720 And it'd be on wheels. Yes. 1008 00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:07,640 And I was not. Yeah. 1009 00:50:07,640 --> 00:50:10,120 When it was wheeled in, you were going fucking yes. 1010 00:50:10,200 --> 00:50:11,480 Yes. Teachers got a hangover. 1011 00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:18,920 And so, so we learn on the beach educational TV on BBC Two in the 1012 00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:21,280 mornings, right? So there was this documentary on 1013 00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:26,200 and I never forget it. And it was about chickens and 1014 00:50:26,200 --> 00:50:28,480 eggs and production and all that kind of thing. 1015 00:50:28,480 --> 00:50:31,840 I'd love to see it. But this was for kids TV, right? 1016 00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:37,000 And what do we do is when all the hens with lay the eggs and 1017 00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:39,600 they would hatch, right? So all the Hatch and all the wee 1018 00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:41,520 chicks would come along and they would have to wait a wee while 1019 00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:47,720 because it's very difficult to, and I quote sex a chicken as you 1020 00:50:47,720 --> 00:50:52,320 find it very difficult as it's, it's born. 1021 00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:54,520 So you have to wait a wee while. So they wait a couple of weeks 1022 00:50:54,720 --> 00:50:57,120 and then they sex it, right. And there's these people and 1023 00:50:57,120 --> 00:51:00,840 their and their job is there's a big sort of box full of live 1024 00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:03,720 chairs and, and little chicks. And they look at them and they 1025 00:51:03,720 --> 00:51:04,280 go. And then they go. 1026 00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:07,560 And then they put them in this wee box over here if they're 1027 00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:09,560 female, because then they can lay eggs and you can keep them. 1028 00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:12,240 And if they're male, they go in this little thing here that cuts 1029 00:51:12,240 --> 00:51:14,880 their heads off. And this was on the TV. 1030 00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:15,720 This is the weird thing. Good. 1031 00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:17,640 Watch this. Yeah. 1032 00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:19,640 Yeah. Educational stuff. 1033 00:51:19,640 --> 00:51:21,440 She hardened you. Fucking hardened you. 1034 00:51:21,560 --> 00:51:26,080 Well I know hardened you but but why? 1035 00:51:26,320 --> 00:51:28,040 Why do they cut their heads 7 minutes? 1036 00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:31,600 Why not let them run about? Because they're they're useless 1037 00:51:31,600 --> 00:51:33,440 because apparently they're going to have to feed them. 1038 00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:35,720 So then they'll grow up and then you just got a lot of cocks run 1039 00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:38,120 around the place and they're not going to lay anymore eggs. 1040 00:51:38,120 --> 00:51:39,680 That's it. Shit. 1041 00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:41,440 I know. So we'd watch this. 1042 00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:42,440 We're going to. I know we had. 1043 00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:45,640 We've chopped off. I was even at the the generation 1044 00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:47,360 when they were still warning you by quicksand. 1045 00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:50,800 I get a video will then be like careful you know? 1046 00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:55,120 We've been still like a public information film. 1047 00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:58,760 Yeah, about quicksand. I remember I was there, an 1048 00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:00,720 animated one. I don't know. 1049 00:52:00,720 --> 00:52:02,920 I just remember a video on the dangers of quicksand. 1050 00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:04,200 They're like do not mess with this. 1051 00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:05,880 Have you ever seen quicksand? Nobody's ever. 1052 00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:07,160 I was used to be terrified. Quicksand. 1053 00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:08,920 Yeah, yeah. Because that was, that was. 1054 00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:12,760 Well, it was in Tarzan films, it was in all these sort of jungles 1055 00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:13,840 and things. Was always somebody getting 1056 00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:17,920 caught in quicksand? And swimming in like a big like 1057 00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:20,240 thing of water, you know, climbing up a ladder and jumping 1058 00:52:20,240 --> 00:52:23,120 in like a big. Tank, yeah. 1059 00:52:24,280 --> 00:52:27,000 Don't do that. You weren't the pool. 1060 00:52:27,800 --> 00:52:30,000 Yeah, but you know, they'll be like, don't break into a farm. 1061 00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:35,520 And I remember these videos very. 1062 00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:39,360 Very well didn't he didn't take much of it in all you saw was 1063 00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:43,440 there an absolute form slurry time. 1064 00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:45,200 That's why I go somewhere nicely thanks. 1065 00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:48,160 No, I don't remember those. There were loads those public 1066 00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:51,440 information films always on when there was a break in the in kids 1067 00:52:51,440 --> 00:52:52,880 TV to be a public information. Film. 1068 00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:55,560 I'd like to go to Barbados and I've never been to a part. 1069 00:52:55,800 --> 00:52:56,640 Of the world. Brilliant. 1070 00:52:57,800 --> 00:52:58,960 A message used to live there, you see. 1071 00:52:59,200 --> 00:53:03,120 And when she's a teenager, she lived there for four years and 1072 00:53:03,120 --> 00:53:07,920 as she helped me back. So yeah, it was, yeah. 1073 00:53:08,040 --> 00:53:09,800 You know it's not good being that. 1074 00:53:10,720 --> 00:53:12,280 Yeah. What do you do during the day 1075 00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:14,240 there? I'm mostly stay indoors, right? 1076 00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:19,160 Just covered in a blanket. And yeah, it's spontaneously 1077 00:53:19,160 --> 00:53:23,640 combusted if we go outside. But no, it was lovely. 1078 00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:25,800 It was really, really good. Is it all that like white? 1079 00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:29,720 Some crystal Clearwater. Or sea turtles you're scriming 1080 00:53:29,720 --> 00:53:31,880 around and the next thing a sea turtle just pops up the side, 1081 00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:37,560 yeah, and goes holy fuck and takes off again and the more a 1082 00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:40,920 eagles and all that sort of things and what are they called? 1083 00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:45,680 The Barracuda Grip on loads, Barracuda flying around and eat 1084 00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:46,360 those. Delicious. 1085 00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:51,120 On is the food Unbelievable. Food was seafood. 1086 00:53:51,920 --> 00:53:53,080 Yeah. Well, that was. 1087 00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:53,760 Yeah. You like it then? 1088 00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:55,720 I've. Taken a turtle and grilled them 1089 00:53:55,720 --> 00:54:02,240 up. I just, yeah, I don't think 1090 00:54:02,320 --> 00:54:05,440 you're allowed to do that. Yeah, it was. 1091 00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:06,360 Yeah. Food was good. 1092 00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:08,040 Yeah, it was. Yeah. 1093 00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:12,360 Seafood good. And oh, it's one from here. 1094 00:54:12,800 --> 00:54:14,760 Used to be direct the playing games. 1095 00:54:14,760 --> 00:54:19,160 She was BBC just director and she retired and has has married 1096 00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:21,000 a guy from there and that's where she lives. 1097 00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:23,200 No Oh class. So she's living out there and he 1098 00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:25,640 has got a little seafood shack that sells. 1099 00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:27,760 I promise I've just about asked. On the beach. 1100 00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:31,200 Like fish tacos and all that's. Exactly what he sells. 1101 00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:37,480 And yeah, on a beach in an out of an old disused fishing 1102 00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:39,000 troller. Did you get that FOC? 1103 00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:43,320 FOC free of charge. Oh, I did I. 1104 00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:46,360 Love that? Bottles of glass, bottles of 1105 00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:48,800 Coke. No, no, no, she makes her own 1106 00:54:48,800 --> 00:54:51,640 rum punch. Oh yeah, some run punch in it. 1107 00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:56,920 Plus I still can't get over Tim McGarry tell him I see Jets jet 1108 00:54:56,920 --> 00:55:00,240 skied when he was out there like rat rent free in my head. 1109 00:55:00,240 --> 00:55:03,400 I know jet ski, but it's the idea of him like topless and a 1110 00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:06,680 pair of speedos. Yeah, on a jet ski. 1111 00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:10,040 I think when he takes off his blazer and tie knot, there's 1112 00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:16,520 like another suit underneath. Yeah, that was that was insane. 1113 00:55:17,120 --> 00:55:20,440 Oh yeah. You're going on tour at the 1114 00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:24,360 start of 2025. 2025 January in 25th. 1115 00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:25,840 You're going any places you've never been before. 1116 00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:29,720 Umm, I'm going to someplace I'm not going to. 1117 00:55:29,720 --> 00:55:32,720 Some places have been before. I should have done that. 1118 00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:35,760 Yeah, I highly recommend it. Yeah. 1119 00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:38,240 Yeah, there's a couple of places we might need to. 1120 00:55:38,440 --> 00:55:42,040 Yeah, scale up back, Yeah, yeah. And they, they said to me like 1121 00:55:42,040 --> 00:55:45,080 it was a bad thing. They're like lesson in this 400 1122 00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:49,560 Cup where you've sold A-Team, Yeah, when I'm so sorry, we 1123 00:55:49,560 --> 00:55:50,800 might need to move out to a bigger room. 1124 00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:53,880 I was like, I'm begging you, move to a smaller room. 1125 00:55:54,720 --> 00:55:56,240 Shout out to Cardiff. To where? 1126 00:55:56,240 --> 00:55:57,560 Cardiff. Cardiff. 1127 00:55:58,360 --> 00:56:00,320 Oh, I should learn a lesson. Last year. 1128 00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:02,280 By the way, I was a great Tom Jones, whether you meant it. 1129 00:56:04,560 --> 00:56:05,080 Or not. Oh. 1130 00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:09,160 I went. I went last year and didn't sell 1131 00:56:09,440 --> 00:56:10,720 many tickets. OK. 1132 00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:11,840 And you're going back? Yeah. 1133 00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:15,240 And it's not so many tickets. So I think it's. 1134 00:56:15,240 --> 00:56:17,240 More. Is it more meant less tickets 1135 00:56:17,240 --> 00:56:19,200 than last year or less less tickets? 1136 00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:23,360 It's probably more the stage, but it's still not enough. 1137 00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:25,680 I sold 18. OK, I was for. 1138 00:56:25,760 --> 00:56:26,880 That's not going to cover the ferry. 1139 00:56:27,040 --> 00:56:32,920 Nope, William. Thompson for him. 1140 00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:37,000 So. So I shouldn't do, but I feel 1141 00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:40,680 like I'm doing a despite to the city of Cardiff now, right? 1142 00:56:40,880 --> 00:56:41,840 You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1143 00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:44,160 You think I'll just go away and I'll come back here on tour? 1144 00:56:44,440 --> 00:56:45,880 I'll come back. I did. 1145 00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:48,600 Is it Nadley? Yeah, yeah, I did the Glee one 1146 00:56:48,600 --> 00:56:50,800 night and just a club night yeah thing. 1147 00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:53,920 And I said oh it's an act coming on. 1148 00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:57,880 Is it alright if they go on before you just, you know, OK, 1149 00:56:58,320 --> 00:57:03,200 so I'm supposed to be closing and I said what's it for? 1150 00:57:03,200 --> 00:57:04,640 And says oh, they're filming. We think so. 1151 00:57:04,640 --> 00:57:06,160 They're just doing like 5 minutes on there. 1152 00:57:06,160 --> 00:57:08,960 But most of it's backstage are going to be chatting to some of 1153 00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:13,680 the people in the show. And it was Rob Bryden in Cardiff 1154 00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:18,960 and fuck, he did 5 minutes and he did 20 minutes. 1155 00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:21,600 Finished with fucking Tom Jones. The whole thing. 1156 00:57:22,200 --> 00:57:26,600 Every reason, yeah, screaming shot and strong things and then 1157 00:57:26,600 --> 00:57:29,320 I'm on right? They did not give 2 flying 1158 00:57:29,320 --> 00:57:30,280 fucks. I hit them. 1159 00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:34,440 So Cardiff, Yeah, Yeah. If he if they want to do that, 1160 00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:35,920 I'll take it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1161 00:57:36,040 --> 00:57:38,960 More tickets. Yeah, and they didn't even know 1162 00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:40,960 he was on. It was a surprise as well. 1163 00:57:41,440 --> 00:57:43,720 It's what it's such a disheartening one last year 1164 00:57:43,720 --> 00:57:46,720 because I was like this, this is this could be a great room. 1165 00:57:47,120 --> 00:57:49,680 I looked at this beautiful. I bet you this place script. 1166 00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:54,160 But tonight we're cosy. But no, I'm doing it. 1167 00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:58,440 We're going to we're going to be scale a little bit, but I can't 1168 00:57:58,440 --> 00:58:01,120 have no way of note. Like sometimes a promoter will 1169 00:58:01,120 --> 00:58:04,680 go, Oh, you'll this is they taught me out of booking the 1170 00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:09,320 principalities. That's where I might go and see 1171 00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:10,760 Oasis. I won't see Oasis anywhere. 1172 00:58:10,920 --> 00:58:12,480 Are you going to do the tickets thing? 1173 00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:15,600 Yeah, I'll go anywhere. Have you done the I saw them? 1174 00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:18,120 Williams done it the the ballot. Yeah. 1175 00:58:18,360 --> 00:58:20,440 The SO. On the ballot, that means you 1176 00:58:20,440 --> 00:58:22,080 can get a ticket for any of the gigs. 1177 00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:25,600 I think so. OK, million tickets for the 1178 00:58:25,760 --> 00:58:29,000 ballot, Germany like so they have a maximum of a million 1179 00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:32,560 they'll sell to people that have entered the ballot and someone 1180 00:58:32,560 --> 00:58:34,600 told me 8 million people have entered so far. 1181 00:58:35,120 --> 00:58:37,520 But you have to pay the full price when if you get chosen, 1182 00:58:37,600 --> 00:58:41,040 there's no, there's no ticket. You know that. 1183 00:58:41,360 --> 00:58:43,280 I think they're what I'm open is they just. 1184 00:58:43,280 --> 00:58:46,720 How much are the tickets? When they announced that I was 1185 00:58:46,720 --> 00:58:48,720 like, what's crazy? Like £75? 1186 00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:51,000 But they could have charged anything for this. 1187 00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:53,960 Yeah, so it's actually not terrible, but that's starting at 1188 00:58:53,960 --> 00:58:56,160 £75. But I think I'd like to go. 1189 00:58:56,160 --> 00:58:59,400 Obviously Cruel Park is my preference, but I think 1190 00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:01,080 Murrayfield and Edinburgh be pretty good as well. 1191 00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:03,080 Umm. Well, I wouldn't touch 1192 00:59:03,080 --> 00:59:04,520 Manchester. I think it'll be. 1193 00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:07,040 On the carnage, yeah, and it'll be. 1194 00:59:07,520 --> 00:59:11,240 And London, I think will be too nice. 1195 00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:13,680 Yeah, too civil. Like there's a, there's a line. 1196 00:59:13,680 --> 00:59:15,880 Yeah, Scotland would be good. Yeah, Cropark would be good, 1197 00:59:15,880 --> 00:59:17,440 yeah. And the other one was Cardiff, 1198 00:59:17,440 --> 00:59:18,560 yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1199 00:59:18,560 --> 00:59:22,400 At the principality I went to, I saw them in 90 whatever 1200 00:59:23,920 --> 00:59:28,600 supporting U2, not Zeropeter. We were Amazon holidays in 1201 00:59:28,600 --> 00:59:31,680 California and it was the first thing I ever bought online, 1202 00:59:32,280 --> 00:59:36,760 right were tickets to go and see that gig, and it was only going 1203 00:59:36,760 --> 00:59:38,680 because we just were playing. It wasn't that. 1204 00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:41,920 And what kind of venue? In a baseball stadium was good 1205 00:59:41,920 --> 00:59:48,080 open stadium in California and put it all online and a dial up 1206 00:59:51,440 --> 00:59:55,560 and I thought this isn't going to work and then turned on there 1207 00:59:55,560 --> 00:59:58,120 was the stall was called will call. 1208 00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:01,200 That's what it was called. So right, you know I will call 1209 01:00:01,200 --> 01:00:04,360 and collect the tickets. So just we hatch the woman we 1210 01:00:04,360 --> 01:00:09,280 wouldn't think and I get tickets that are booked but the name 1211 01:00:09,760 --> 01:00:11,800 there you go. I don't know if it worked. 1212 01:00:12,320 --> 01:00:16,440 We live in the future jet cars and then yeah, we're right up 1213 01:00:16,440 --> 01:00:22,680 the top and they were on broad daylight and they didn't get any 1214 01:00:22,680 --> 01:00:25,560 lights. They got park all and the sound 1215 01:00:25,560 --> 01:00:29,400 was good. And nobody cared, right? 1216 01:00:29,600 --> 01:00:31,680 The only people who care were down on the stadium, at the 1217 01:00:31,680 --> 01:00:33,640 front, yes, on the flat, on the field. 1218 01:00:33,640 --> 01:00:36,480 But all the people in the bleachers around us, they were 1219 01:00:36,480 --> 01:00:39,640 all Americans and didn't know who they were, didn't give. 1220 01:00:39,640 --> 01:00:42,960 A shit I would like, it won't happen but I would love it if 1221 01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:47,720 they did like some secret intimate shows to just get back. 1222 01:00:47,960 --> 01:00:50,320 Like imagine that in the Limelight 1 where they played 1223 01:00:50,320 --> 01:00:51,600 before. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, 1224 01:00:51,600 --> 01:00:54,280 it's in line when you see there could because there's there's 1225 01:00:54,280 --> 01:00:56,720 history there you see. Yeah, yeah, that's where playing 1226 01:00:56,720 --> 01:00:58,880 when they got number. One they just brought out, I 1227 01:00:58,880 --> 01:00:59,880 think it's. Definitely. 1228 01:00:59,880 --> 01:01:00,440 Maybe. Was it? 1229 01:01:00,880 --> 01:01:03,960 Yeah, but I think it's they they released, it might be like 1230 01:01:04,800 --> 01:01:08,720 Supersonic or something as a single live from the limelight. 1231 01:01:08,960 --> 01:01:11,480 They just brought that out on there, like Spotify and all that 1232 01:01:11,480 --> 01:01:13,320 kind of stuff. Oh, so I never know. 1233 01:01:13,520 --> 01:01:17,440 I would love that. Yeah, I pretty sure these aren't 1234 01:01:17,440 --> 01:01:19,880 going to happen. I'm pretty sure think they're 1235 01:01:19,880 --> 01:01:22,600 going to sell all these tickets and then Liam's going to go fuck 1236 01:01:22,600 --> 01:01:25,000 off and that's that's going to be it. 1237 01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:26,960 But I think. Yeah, I think no one's going 1238 01:01:26,960 --> 01:01:29,040 through a divorce. So I think that's because for 1239 01:01:29,040 --> 01:01:33,280 years he's like, no, no, no way. And then it's like we're back. 1240 01:01:33,560 --> 01:01:36,440 But they're going. To announce I think three more 1241 01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:38,040 crew parks people are telling me. 1242 01:01:38,480 --> 01:01:41,680 Yeah, 5 It'll be all of them. Did they ever get big in 1243 01:01:41,680 --> 01:01:44,200 America? I think they'd be big. 1244 01:01:44,200 --> 01:01:46,880 They'd be bigger now than they ever were in America because 1245 01:01:46,880 --> 01:01:49,480 they did like an MTV Unplugged, which is brilliant. 1246 01:01:49,880 --> 01:01:53,000 Nirvana did the iconic one, but they did one of those. 1247 01:01:53,360 --> 01:01:55,040 I think they were big. I think they just probably 1248 01:01:55,040 --> 01:01:57,120 didn't spend enough time that that's when you actually would 1249 01:01:57,120 --> 01:01:59,840 have needed to have been there probably as opposed to social 1250 01:01:59,840 --> 01:02:00,840 media and all that kind of stuff. 1251 01:02:01,080 --> 01:02:03,320 I don't know if I could be. I saw them the first time 1252 01:02:03,320 --> 01:02:04,040 around. It was good. 1253 01:02:04,040 --> 01:02:06,360 Not that you know, but that was before they brought that shitty 1254 01:02:06,360 --> 01:02:09,280 last album and I went. To see Noel Gallagher's high 1255 01:02:09,280 --> 01:02:11,320 flying birds in the SSC, why did you do that? 1256 01:02:11,320 --> 01:02:16,520 And a guy free ticked and a guy sat beside us were up quite high 1257 01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:21,520 and he's by himself and he had binoculars and a notepad with 1258 01:02:21,520 --> 01:02:26,000 him and he sat down beside me and my mate Lawrence and I said 1259 01:02:27,360 --> 01:02:33,160 I think he is here for some sort of spectacular bird show, Noel 1260 01:02:33,160 --> 01:02:37,520 Gallagher's High Flying Birds. I said don't rule out the fact 1261 01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:42,440 that this guy thinks that this is some sort of live bird show 1262 01:02:42,440 --> 01:02:45,160 and he. Was like after every song he 1263 01:02:45,200 --> 01:02:48,880 pulls out a pigeon, let's it go and he has to identify at all. 1264 01:02:49,920 --> 01:02:52,800 Lawrence goes, no, that obviously won't be the case. 1265 01:02:53,240 --> 01:02:57,280 I went, I'm telling you, he's by himself and he's got binoculars 1266 01:02:57,360 --> 01:03:00,520 and he's bossing. And Noel Gallagher came out, 1267 01:03:00,520 --> 01:03:06,480 maybe had done 2 songs and the guy started going and by about 1268 01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:10,080 the third or fourth song he was ripping and left and I went. 1269 01:03:10,520 --> 01:03:14,920 He thought he was coming to see and that haunts my dreams and 1270 01:03:14,920 --> 01:03:18,920 God loved that man. We I went to see Pet Shop Boys. 1271 01:03:19,040 --> 01:03:20,400 Oh, that was brilliant. Were you there? 1272 01:03:20,800 --> 01:03:22,360 No, I just love the Pet Shop Boys. 1273 01:03:22,480 --> 01:03:26,600 Brilliant. And So what was this in in. 1274 01:03:26,840 --> 01:03:28,040 Oh, I see. Yeah yeah, right. 1275 01:03:28,040 --> 01:03:32,240 Recently and umm, weirdest collection of people I've. 1276 01:03:32,240 --> 01:03:33,400 Ever seen? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1277 01:03:33,520 --> 01:03:37,920 In my life, yeah. And a lot of people, obviously 1278 01:03:37,920 --> 01:03:43,240 big fans from first time round, unnerving number of people on 1279 01:03:43,240 --> 01:03:46,680 rule leaders, right? Yeah. 1280 01:03:46,680 --> 01:03:49,960 And various types of walking aids and you're thinking 1281 01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:55,040 fucking. And then lots of younger ones as 1282 01:03:55,040 --> 01:03:55,840 well. Lots of young people. 1283 01:03:55,840 --> 01:04:00,160 And I was just weird family that we were son watching before we 1284 01:04:00,160 --> 01:04:04,280 went into the you know, because there was some fucking house DJ 1285 01:04:04,280 --> 01:04:12,800 thing that probably plan a rerun of your show and going on and I 1286 01:04:12,800 --> 01:04:15,840 can't be asked for that. So we outside having a wee drink 1287 01:04:15,960 --> 01:04:19,320 and this family and exactly what you're saying. 1288 01:04:19,600 --> 01:04:26,200 I'm thinking they think this is some sort of pet show because 1289 01:04:26,200 --> 01:04:28,000 they were all wearing, you know, anoraks. 1290 01:04:28,160 --> 01:04:28,760 Yeah. Yeah. 1291 01:04:28,760 --> 01:04:30,520 And they're very. I'm not still on. 1292 01:04:30,520 --> 01:04:33,840 I don't mean to say this again, but I'm not having a go at 1293 01:04:33,840 --> 01:04:35,120 people who are born again Christians. 1294 01:04:35,280 --> 01:04:36,480 But that's exactly what they look like. 1295 01:04:36,480 --> 01:04:38,160 They look like very straight list people. 1296 01:04:38,200 --> 01:04:40,520 Very, very sensible straight list. 1297 01:04:40,720 --> 01:04:43,840 Lovely. But, you know, don't like to 1298 01:04:43,840 --> 01:04:45,320 take a risk kind of people. Yeah. 1299 01:04:45,320 --> 01:04:47,800 And they're wearing like these Cagles and and they're all 1300 01:04:47,800 --> 01:04:52,120 zipped up and was all class and Birkenstocks and the whole 1301 01:04:52,120 --> 01:04:56,840 fucking thing and had sandwiches with them wrapped up in tenfold. 1302 01:04:56,840 --> 01:04:57,800 Tenfold. I was thinking. 1303 01:04:57,840 --> 01:05:02,560 I was thinking. The daughter was about maybe 22 1304 01:05:02,920 --> 01:05:07,040 and the mom and dad were sort of roughly sort of my age and all 1305 01:05:07,040 --> 01:05:10,480 hair over and yeah. And type of people that call 1306 01:05:10,480 --> 01:05:12,800 each other mother and father. Yeah, in front of the children, 1307 01:05:12,800 --> 01:05:14,800 and even the children aren't there, call each other mother 1308 01:05:14,800 --> 01:05:16,760 and father. The weirdest thing? 1309 01:05:16,920 --> 01:05:18,120 Yeah. Yeah, it is. 1310 01:05:18,280 --> 01:05:20,160 I imagine they do it during sex. Yes. 1311 01:05:20,600 --> 01:05:22,680 It's that's, that's, that's, that's lovely, mother. 1312 01:05:22,720 --> 01:05:25,480 That's that's very lovely, which is kind of unnerving thing to 1313 01:05:25,480 --> 01:05:34,400 say and oh, mother, I've just come and it's just and thank 1314 01:05:34,400 --> 01:05:37,160 you, father. It's that's not the first time 1315 01:05:37,160 --> 01:05:40,960 that's been heard. And it's. 1316 01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:43,400 Yeah. And I just genuinely thought 1317 01:05:43,400 --> 01:05:45,240 exactly the same thing. I thought they think this is 1318 01:05:45,240 --> 01:05:47,600 some sort of exhibition. Now, who's weirder in that 1319 01:05:47,600 --> 01:05:49,280 situation? Them for bringing Tim for 1320 01:05:49,280 --> 01:05:51,000 sandwiches? Are you looking at them for 20 1321 01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:53,760 minutes thinking of them? Oh, I do all of each other 1322 01:05:53,760 --> 01:05:54,480 Mother and. Fire. 1323 01:05:54,840 --> 01:05:57,320 I have whole scenarios about people's lives. 1324 01:05:57,320 --> 01:05:59,360 With the patio boys good. Brilliant do. 1325 01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:02,120 You want to hear my impression? Oh, go, go. 1326 01:06:02,320 --> 01:06:05,800 He's 70, by the way. He was 70, about two weeks after 1327 01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:08,840 the after the gig, and his voice was amazing. 1328 01:06:08,960 --> 01:06:11,240 So I'll do like the West End girls better. 1329 01:06:11,240 --> 01:06:13,320 The verse and then the chorus. OK. 1330 01:06:13,320 --> 01:06:16,400 Don't do the rapid bit, the east one. 1331 01:06:19,120 --> 01:06:21,280 Awkward when people do impressions to your face. 1332 01:06:21,480 --> 01:06:24,280 No, OK. Sometimes you're better off 1333 01:06:24,280 --> 01:06:25,400 dead. There's a gun in your hand 1334 01:06:25,400 --> 01:06:27,520 that's pointed your head. You think you're mad, right? 1335 01:06:27,520 --> 01:06:31,600 That I could keep doing that. But then this is and this is 1336 01:06:31,840 --> 01:06:33,640 those people go, oh, it's James Blunt. 1337 01:06:34,720 --> 01:06:38,880 They're similar OK in a West End town, a dad and Wild, the East 1338 01:06:38,880 --> 01:06:42,960 End boys and West End girls. That is very good guys, very 1339 01:06:42,960 --> 01:06:45,600 good and definitely a James Blunt thing in there. 1340 01:06:45,600 --> 01:06:47,480 It's James Blunt doing the patio, boys. 1341 01:06:47,480 --> 01:06:49,160 It is. You're beautiful. 1342 01:06:49,400 --> 01:06:51,200 It's true. You know there's a better 1343 01:06:51,200 --> 01:06:52,560 crossover. Yes, that's, but it's a. 1344 01:06:52,560 --> 01:06:55,160 Good, Neil down and. Yeah, you need to take it down 1345 01:06:55,160 --> 01:06:56,600 when you're not with the, you know. 1346 01:06:57,080 --> 01:06:59,120 It's the same as my favourite patio boys. 1347 01:06:59,160 --> 01:07:01,480 What do you mean take it down like Tom White in the camp? 1348 01:07:01,480 --> 01:07:03,280 You Sam 2. To camp. 1349 01:07:03,560 --> 01:07:06,560 It's to you're saying my Pet Shop Boys impression is to come? 1350 01:07:06,560 --> 01:07:07,960 In town it's a bit more butcher than that. 1351 01:07:08,680 --> 01:07:10,360 Sometimes you're better off dead. 1352 01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:16,440 No, that's just creepy. Sometimes you're better off 1353 01:07:16,440 --> 01:07:20,520 dead. Is that what your dad rang? 1354 01:07:20,800 --> 01:07:22,560 Rang your uncle? You're better off dead. 1355 01:07:25,080 --> 01:07:26,840 I have free tickets, won't see the Scissor Sisters. 1356 01:07:27,000 --> 01:07:29,080 And by the way, this isn't like industry free tickets. 1357 01:07:29,080 --> 01:07:31,200 This is like someone in the street had them. 1358 01:07:31,400 --> 01:07:33,560 I mean, my mate John went to see the Scissor Sisters. 1359 01:07:33,560 --> 01:07:35,600 Yeah, for one of the best concert I've been to my life. 1360 01:07:35,960 --> 01:07:37,640 It's brilliant, really. In the waterfront. 1361 01:07:37,640 --> 01:07:38,800 Scissor Sisters. Yeah, it's great. 1362 01:07:39,560 --> 01:07:40,760 You think that then you will see them. 1363 01:07:40,760 --> 01:07:41,400 You're like this. Great. 1364 01:07:41,600 --> 01:07:45,960 Well, yeah, that was like patch up boys, because, friend, I went 1365 01:07:45,960 --> 01:07:48,680 years ago and years and years and years ago, he said. 1366 01:07:48,680 --> 01:07:54,560 The show is made and the whole, the dancers, the whole light 1367 01:07:54,560 --> 01:07:57,840 show, everything, the props, it's all it is a show. 1368 01:07:57,840 --> 01:07:59,680 It was really, really, really, really good. 1369 01:07:59,680 --> 01:08:01,240 Because I did it during the Fringe one year. 1370 01:08:01,240 --> 01:08:04,680 I was booked to do a show and it was in a gay bar in Edinburgh 1371 01:08:04,880 --> 01:08:08,920 and it was all just like bears. It was all just guys, big gay 1372 01:08:08,920 --> 01:08:11,640 guys. And the set was not going great. 1373 01:08:11,680 --> 01:08:15,000 I was do 7 minutes, 6 minutes and I went, you just want me to 1374 01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:17,200 do West End Girls for the Pet Shop Boys and they're like, yes, 1375 01:08:17,399 --> 01:08:22,240 I did it and I'd fucking care. Swam out there in a river, a 1376 01:08:22,240 --> 01:08:24,319 spunk. Unbelievable. 1377 01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:27,920 It's great. But did you have to keep doing 1378 01:08:27,920 --> 01:08:30,520 the punch up or did you go back to material advice? 1379 01:08:30,520 --> 01:08:33,479 Then you do another picture. I did 6 minutes of not of the 1380 01:08:33,479 --> 01:08:36,160 seven minutes set of material and then I was like, this isn't 1381 01:08:36,160 --> 01:08:37,520 going to work, but I know what will. 1382 01:08:37,800 --> 01:08:43,000 And it worked. The what, what sort of starts? 1383 01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:44,399 Where do you? Where's your first 32? 1384 01:08:45,040 --> 01:08:47,720 And Palomina bread. The bread. 1385 01:08:47,720 --> 01:08:49,000 I love the bread. That's brilliant. 1386 01:08:49,640 --> 01:08:52,200 Do all this weird thing about the you can't get them ball. 1387 01:08:52,200 --> 01:08:53,720 I mean, they're 2. Yes, exactly. 1388 01:08:53,720 --> 01:08:56,200 But they're brilliant, they're great. 1389 01:08:56,680 --> 01:08:58,640 The chat, the talk, they're not inhibited. 1390 01:08:58,640 --> 01:09:01,680 A. Hidden gem place in Larne called 1391 01:09:01,720 --> 01:09:03,279 the reading room. The reading rooms. 1392 01:09:03,600 --> 01:09:06,760 All right. It's in a St Columns hall, OK, 1393 01:09:06,840 --> 01:09:11,120 it's called and and it's like an old theatre. 1394 01:09:11,120 --> 01:09:13,920 So we did it for a charity show for Action Cancer and they went 1395 01:09:13,920 --> 01:09:16,920 there less than like this venues from using years. 1396 01:09:16,960 --> 01:09:20,000 It's all. But it's beautiful. 1397 01:09:20,080 --> 01:09:21,240 It's wood. It's like. 1398 01:09:21,560 --> 01:09:24,160 Wooden benches, tiered seating. Yeah, Oh. 1399 01:09:24,240 --> 01:09:30,279 And has a small stage and you can get like 350 into it and it 1400 01:09:30,279 --> 01:09:33,200 is out of this world it's brilliant. 1401 01:09:33,279 --> 01:09:36,240 So I went I did a work in progress show there yeah brought 1402 01:09:36,240 --> 01:09:38,640 a couple of people with me and it's unreal. 1403 01:09:38,640 --> 01:09:40,720 So I'm just going to start I'm I'm not the matter. 1404 01:09:40,800 --> 01:09:42,319 I'm telling everyone, well that that. 1405 01:09:42,920 --> 01:09:45,040 Will replace the place that I'm not playing in this year. 1406 01:09:45,279 --> 01:09:46,920 I'm from there. What? 1407 01:09:46,920 --> 01:09:50,200 Why? Because I used to do videos as. 1408 01:09:50,319 --> 01:09:52,560 Which Lauren, in general, The theatre. 1409 01:09:53,359 --> 01:09:55,000 Which the old, the one in the swim pool? 1410 01:09:55,040 --> 01:09:56,560 McNeil Theatre. Yeah, that's what I'm not doing. 1411 01:09:57,000 --> 01:09:59,240 Right, yeah, because I used to take the piss out of Lauren when 1412 01:09:59,240 --> 01:10:03,280 I did a My N Dying character. Every punchline was Lauren. 1413 01:10:03,520 --> 01:10:05,120 And then we couldn't get a date for a year. 1414 01:10:05,120 --> 01:10:07,920 Maybe I'm wrong, but we couldn't for the last like three years. 1415 01:10:07,920 --> 01:10:09,640 We could never get a date to play there. 1416 01:10:09,640 --> 01:10:11,320 They're like we're booked up. And I was like, let me tell you 1417 01:10:11,320 --> 01:10:15,640 right now, you're not Cirque du Soleil, aren't aren't taking a 1418 01:10:15,640 --> 01:10:17,400 residency. But we used to take a piss out 1419 01:10:17,440 --> 01:10:20,760 all the time on on blame game. Yes, because you know, it's 1420 01:10:21,280 --> 01:10:23,720 easy. And by the way, it's other 1421 01:10:23,720 --> 01:10:26,200 people that like get pissed off with that. 1422 01:10:26,320 --> 01:10:29,600 See, when I've done these couple of gigs on Lauren, the only 1423 01:10:29,600 --> 01:10:32,560 thing they want to hear outside your material is you take and 1424 01:10:32,880 --> 01:10:35,360 they do that themselves. Yeah, yeah, because they're not 1425 01:10:35,360 --> 01:10:37,160 fucking blind. Yeah, yeah. 1426 01:10:38,160 --> 01:10:39,840 They're McDonald's. They know where they live. 1427 01:10:39,840 --> 01:10:42,680 Unbelievable. It's a new McDonald's. 1428 01:10:43,120 --> 01:10:47,560 So what I can't stand in in all those Mickey D's is that massive 1429 01:10:47,720 --> 01:10:50,320 fucking iPhone that they've got and everybody touches it when 1430 01:10:50,320 --> 01:10:51,600 they order. Nice, gross. 1431 01:10:51,640 --> 01:10:54,040 It's not the most making thing. They're all there and they're 1432 01:10:54,040 --> 01:10:57,400 going, what do you want? I'm going to have that, not we 1433 01:10:57,400 --> 01:10:59,240 had that, that, that and then they go over and then get their 1434 01:10:59,240 --> 01:11:02,000 food with all the hands that have been touching their fucking 1435 01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:04,880 Mickey's not been on and there's no sanitizers doing on. 1436 01:11:05,120 --> 01:11:06,640 You think the COVID ever happened? 1437 01:11:06,640 --> 01:11:10,120 Did you ever hear everything? Yeah, I can't. 1438 01:11:10,640 --> 01:11:13,760 I can't go anywhere near it makes me walking in the place I 1439 01:11:13,760 --> 01:11:16,200 just. You'll just order at the kind 1440 01:11:16,200 --> 01:11:16,560 of. Old. 1441 01:11:16,560 --> 01:11:18,600 I won't go in it. I don't. 1442 01:11:18,880 --> 01:11:22,880 Yeah, but it's great. So kicking off from balmy 1443 01:11:22,880 --> 01:11:23,560 braids. Great. 1444 01:11:23,800 --> 01:11:25,840 Braid is brilliant. They're really good. 1445 01:11:25,840 --> 01:11:28,440 They can't there's you can't bring your drink and anything 1446 01:11:28,680 --> 01:11:30,720 but those theatres do that. Can't bring your drinking Yeah 1447 01:11:30,760 --> 01:11:33,040 and yeah no braids. Brilliant. 1448 01:11:33,040 --> 01:11:35,160 I was in Balmy last night, actually doing a gig with, for a 1449 01:11:35,360 --> 01:11:38,360 Party, Maggie. Yeah, and from Page. 1450 01:11:38,360 --> 01:11:43,000 Very good. And yeah, they're an instraband, 1451 01:11:43,000 --> 01:11:44,760 so I'm getting the two hard ones out of the way first. 1452 01:11:45,280 --> 01:11:46,840 Ali, Ali. Yeah, Ali Theatre. 1453 01:11:46,840 --> 01:11:49,680 Yeah, yeah, it was. It was a bit low in numbers last 1454 01:11:49,680 --> 01:11:52,720 time. Well, I once had to do. 1455 01:11:52,720 --> 01:11:54,480 Don't know why it's always sold every other. 1456 01:11:54,480 --> 01:11:57,880 Year I did it like five years ago Ali Theatre and then moved 1457 01:11:57,880 --> 01:12:00,240 it in the basically went you want to do in the foyer would 1458 01:12:00,240 --> 01:12:02,920 not sold tickets and I went yes, I'm 100% fine with that. 1459 01:12:02,920 --> 01:12:05,280 It was actually great. There's a guy standing at the 1460 01:12:05,280 --> 01:12:07,880 window for the whole show just like this. 1461 01:12:08,200 --> 01:12:10,880 Message me after like let bread as much that is good. 1462 01:12:13,000 --> 01:12:16,320 You stood there outside trying to liberate a £12 ticket. 1463 01:12:17,320 --> 01:12:19,200 Well, we'll let you in for. Free was in the winter was in 1464 01:12:19,200 --> 01:12:21,120 the summer. Was it somewhere between? 1465 01:12:21,120 --> 01:12:24,200 It was like September, October. Yeah, I do it at the same time 1466 01:12:24,200 --> 01:12:26,080 every year, but next, next year I'm going to change it up. 1467 01:12:26,280 --> 01:12:28,760 What are you doing? I'll just take a longer break 1468 01:12:28,800 --> 01:12:33,480 after this tour and tour a different time of year the year 1469 01:12:33,480 --> 01:12:35,200 after that. Yeah. 1470 01:12:35,480 --> 01:12:37,520 Because just the same time every year. 1471 01:12:38,120 --> 01:12:39,520 So I just want to. I know. 1472 01:12:39,520 --> 01:12:42,400 Yeah, I do shake it up a bit. It's see, I like to after 1473 01:12:42,400 --> 01:12:45,440 Christmas because then people who can't think of Christmas 1474 01:12:45,440 --> 01:12:50,080 presents for awkward people, such as brothers who are a 1475 01:12:50,080 --> 01:12:52,480 nightmare to buy Christmas presents for uncles. 1476 01:12:52,560 --> 01:12:57,960 Not a problem for your dad and you know, but they're awkward 1477 01:12:57,960 --> 01:13:02,560 people that comedy tickets. Yeah, they're perfect thing. 1478 01:13:02,760 --> 01:13:04,480 And what, what, what Belfast show you know? 1479 01:13:05,240 --> 01:13:10,320 Opera House, because it is the first time, last tour under the 1480 01:13:10,320 --> 01:13:11,680 three of the best games ever had my life. 1481 01:13:11,680 --> 01:13:14,920 It's just genuinely the most fun, most brilliant. 1482 01:13:15,400 --> 01:13:17,680 The room, the noise you get back just. 1483 01:13:17,680 --> 01:13:19,640 Yeah. Everybody in the audience that I 1484 01:13:19,640 --> 01:13:21,320 spoke to was gold. Yeah. 1485 01:13:21,360 --> 01:13:23,560 So it was unbelievable. Because I was a. 1486 01:13:23,560 --> 01:13:26,200 Blind guy in a bright red suit with a white cane and dark 1487 01:13:26,200 --> 01:13:28,640 glasses that slagged off a mime. I did. 1488 01:13:32,280 --> 01:13:34,400 I was like, how fucking blind are you? 1489 01:13:35,120 --> 01:13:35,920 He says. That's it. 1490 01:13:35,920 --> 01:13:39,040 I won't take that. I'm going to drive home, say he 1491 01:13:39,040 --> 01:13:41,760 was just brilliant. It's a it's the best. 1492 01:13:41,960 --> 01:13:44,280 I'll Bruce. Yeah, so, so good. 1493 01:13:44,360 --> 01:13:46,240 It was some three nights in there. 1494 01:13:46,320 --> 01:13:50,280 But that January. And February 27th, 28th and then 1495 01:13:50,280 --> 01:13:54,760 the 1st of March. OK, we'll do do one in January 1496 01:13:54,760 --> 01:13:56,320 as well. And then meantime, you're just 1497 01:13:56,320 --> 01:13:58,400 going to be watching reality TV people are looking for. 1498 01:13:58,960 --> 01:14:00,440 You. Yeah, you'll find me watching 1499 01:14:00,640 --> 01:14:03,200 drunk watching reruns of First Dates. 1500 01:14:03,200 --> 01:14:06,440 Or time to. Or time to or or or Google Box 1501 01:14:06,440 --> 01:14:07,720 be all the favourite. Oh no. 1502 01:14:08,240 --> 01:14:10,840 Yeah, I. Don't have time to watch TV? 1503 01:14:10,840 --> 01:14:13,280 Never mind people watching watching people watch TV. 1504 01:14:13,320 --> 01:14:17,280 That's very good. Any business I've got a plug or 1505 01:14:17,440 --> 01:14:20,360 promote at the end of the pod? No, just jump Patreon if you're 1506 01:14:20,360 --> 01:14:22,640 still around. Bigjohn.com search TV podcast 1507 01:14:23,360 --> 01:14:25,960 complex million as always for. Thank you very much.