1 00:00:00,680 --> 00:00:03,560 I'm Michael Che and I'm Colin Jose, and we've got a little 2 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:05,280 secret. Actually, it's a pretty big 3 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:06,480 secret. Well, now you got to give the 4 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:08,360 people something. I'm not saying a word. 5 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:09,920 Oh, then people will know to tune in. 6 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:12,080 Come on, tell them a little like how we're hosting of comedy 7 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,440 events streaming only on Peacock. 8 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,520 Exactly how it's called New York After dark. 9 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:18,640 And it's a comedy show that only features drop in comic boom, you 10 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:20,360 nail into Michael Chase phone numbers. 11 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:24,320 Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, New York After Dark. 12 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:27,520 It's some kind of comedy thing, and it's streaming now only on 13 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:30,320 Peacock. You love it. 14 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:42,720 Everybody, welcome to this week's episode of Tea With Me, a 15 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:47,600 very, very, very DIY episode that I recorded in my house all 16 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:52,360 by myself, age 31 1/2 years old. In this podcast. 17 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:56,120 At the very start I start talking about how you know I'm 18 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:59,360 recording the episode video. I give a bit of a tour of my 19 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,880 office. The GoPro cuts off halfway 20 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:04,120 through. So there is no video podcast 21 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:06,360 this week. But enjoy me being an idiot 22 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:08,360 saying you're going to be able to see this. 23 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,680 I'm not and then just. Realise that I was sitting with 24 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,160 a GoPro the whole time but wasn't recording, so that's so 25 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:15,000 much fun. But thanks for listening to this 26 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,920 week's episode. Here it is, tea with me with 27 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:22,720 Shin Todd zippers. Welcome to this week's episode 28 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:26,480 of the Tea with Me podcast with me, she and Todd. 29 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:31,160 Let's get right at it because I know people are freaking out and 30 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:35,280 they need two things. They need a wee cup of tea and 31 00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:38,000 they need this guy in the rears. OK. 32 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:41,560 And like a wee eerie wig. I'm in your ear. 33 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:43,640 And are eerie wigs still a thing? 34 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,720 I don't think so. But were they really, really 35 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,960 popular in the mid 90s? Yes. 36 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:52,160 And that everyone's grand Always tell you to watch out for eerie 37 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:53,400 wigs. Yes. 38 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,240 And that was just a thing and it was a more simple time. 39 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:01,360 And Speaking of times, we're in very uncertain times right now. 40 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:06,640 But one thing is for certain, I have converted my the box room 41 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:11,440 in my house into what we're calling the Dream factory. 42 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:14,760 Look around if you if you don't watch the video version of the 43 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,000 podcast on YouTube, my YouTube channel. 44 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:19,600 Just let's see what we've got going on here. 45 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:23,480 And yes, this is going to be a very DIY episode of the podcast. 46 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:25,880 But look around here. We've got a green screen because 47 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:28,040 we're going to be doing some sketches in the next couple of 48 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:32,600 days and weeks years. I've got shelves behind me with 49 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:34,920 just so much stuff. Let me let me give you a little 50 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:40,880 audio on video tour basically for a reason which I will tell 51 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:44,840 you later on. This room was my kind of Home 52 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:48,120 Office for so long and then it stopped being that about a week 53 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:50,320 ago. I put a lot of work in to 54 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:53,800 convert it into a different room and now I've had to convert it 55 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:56,680 back into this room. So it's all go. 56 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,240 But basically I've got this leather sofa. 57 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:01,800 Any time I post this in pictures, people keep saying I 58 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:06,240 recognise that mate. Casting Coach, listen, this is 59 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:10,120 my sofa, OK? It is not the sofa they use in 60 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,040 Casting Coach. And I don't even know what that 61 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:14,520 is. I don't even know what that is. 62 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:18,960 But I've got a green screen here, I've got wee shelves 63 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:22,480 behind me with all different stuff, have a couple of football 64 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:24,320 medals. I mean, they're not for any 65 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:27,920 individual thing really. It's more just mainly being part 66 00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:29,480 of a team of charity tournaments. 67 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:33,200 The ball and door there, I've got an African drum. 68 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:36,760 If you see me playing that African drum and some videos, 69 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:39,880 you'll know I've run out of stuff to do. 70 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:42,440 All right, you'll know I've run out of videos If I'm like, let 71 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:44,200 me play. Can you feel the love tonight 72 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:49,880 via African signed. I've got a tea with me mug up 73 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:52,880 there, But those aren't they're not official merch, all right, 74 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:56,160 That's just part of the black market merch of the show. 75 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,280 But eventually we will have tea with me mugs. 76 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:03,200 I've got an Oakland Raiders American football helmet, like a 77 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:06,360 wee mini one. I've got a doll of a basketball 78 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:09,240 player called Glenn Rice. And I don't really know why I 79 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:12,240 have that, but I got it on a family holiday to Disney once 80 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:16,000 and I like it. And then I've just got various 81 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:19,240 camera equipment and stuff like that behind me that I do not 82 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,560 know how to use. Also, if you're watching the 83 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:23,640 video version, you can appreciate that right now I'm 84 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:28,680 wearing some Peppa Pig pyjama bottoms, some ankle socks, and a 85 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:31,480 blue hoodie. Because in times like this, we 86 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:35,160 wear what we want. OK, I finally get to be me. 87 00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:38,400 I mean, Fast forward to next week's podcast where I will be 88 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:44,080 wearing leather chops, a boob tube, and a porn necklace like 89 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:47,480 man, Harry Styles. But yeah, it's, it's a very, 90 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,040 it's obviously a very DIY episode of T with me. 91 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,600 Let's get down to the T admin. All right, let's get down to the 92 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:53,920 T admin. Because let's face it, that's 93 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:57,400 why we're all here. I have got a standard grey mug 94 00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:00,280 this week and that's not to reflect the national mood. 95 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:03,760 That is because this is my favourite mug now. 96 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:06,160 A lot of people probably thought my favourite mug would be maybe 97 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:09,560 a football mug or, you know, some sort of collectible thing, 98 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:12,000 something with a bit, with a bit of flare, a bit of panache. 99 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:14,480 Turns out it's just this one. And I'm going to have a lovely 100 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:19,080 sip right now. And that's delicious. 101 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:21,600 And some people will be going, man, can you please not swallow 102 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:25,600 on the podcast, Hey. Tell your mom not this. 103 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,960 So here we are, Tea with me episode. 104 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,720 Is it maybe six or seven? Yes, something like that. 105 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:36,880 And I'm in the house and we're going to be in the house for a 106 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:40,960 good few more of these. I like it. 107 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:44,280 I like doing this. It definitely took me like a few 108 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:48,200 goals to get to get it because I am just in the house. 109 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:51,480 And when you're in the studio, you're like in work mode. 110 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:54,040 But then because I'm in the house, I'm also thinking about 111 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:57,840 potato waffles. I'm thinking about, you know, 112 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:01,120 goosebump books that I read when I was a kid and how you never 113 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:03,040 said you were scared by them, but secretly you actually were 114 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:05,440 scared by them. And just a host of distractions. 115 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:08,440 But we're here. I've got to tell you this as 116 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:14,360 well before I start, so I'm not. Tech savvy, right? 117 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,760 And all my friends will know that like whenever I'm filming 118 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:22,000 with Michael Foster, Aaron Butler, all those guys, the way 119 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,600 I can always get them to edit something quicker is threatened 120 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:26,720 to edit myself or shoot something myself. 121 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,280 They'll go, no, no, no, no, no, don't worry. 122 00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:29,160 We'll do it. We'll do it. 123 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:32,760 And that's mental because I literally studied this in tech 124 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,280 like film making and all that kind of stuff. 125 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:38,360 But I don't know what I'm doing. And a lot of people watching 126 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:40,360 this will go, We totally see that. 127 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:44,000 I don't even know what this microphone I have in my hand is, 128 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:46,520 but I have it. And what's crazier than that is 129 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:49,960 I have a proper podcast microphone sitting behind me, 130 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,360 but I didn't know how to figure out using it. 131 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:55,200 And this is just the way it's going to be. 132 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:58,000 I've got my GoPro and we're having a good time. 133 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:02,800 So my plan is to do two podcasts a week and hopefully the Boy 134 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,400 time podcast as well. But we need to figure out a way 135 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,720 we can do that remotely. And spoiler alert, Dave Elliott 136 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,080 is also a fucking idiot when it comes to tech as well. 137 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:13,640 But we will eventually, eventually figure that out. 138 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:19,120 And then I'm going to do sketches because like I'm full 139 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:23,080 time at this and that'll surprise a lot of people go how 140 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:24,920 the fuck can you be full time at this? 141 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:30,120 I'm full time a comedy. So to sort of go into my 142 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:33,520 situation like we, we are kind of in this house, me and my wife 143 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:37,320 on a wee bit of a lockdown, a kind of self-imposed lockdown. 144 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:43,760 Me having Crohn's disease means that I can park right outside 145 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,640 Tesco's. It doesn't mean that OK, I don't 146 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:47,720 have a blue badge, but I still do it anyway. 147 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,280 I don't I park in the modern baby sometime. 148 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:51,920 I've done it once and it's not the worst thing in the world, 149 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:54,280 but I actually don't. I hate people that do that, but 150 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:57,280 I have done it maybe once, but only when it's raining, you know 151 00:07:57,280 --> 00:08:01,400 what I mean? So we kind of are on lockdown. 152 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:05,920 We think we are going to be for at least six weeks, something 153 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:12,360 like that, maybe more. I'm not self isolating, but I 154 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:15,640 mean, to be honest, and by the way, this podcast is going to be 155 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,920 rambling this week. Being self-employed is self 156 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:22,000 isolating. You know, I kind of work by 157 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:30,200 myself most of the day and and so I'm always just sitting in 158 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:35,280 the house, you know, make it making my own fun kinda but but 159 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:40,280 now I am going to be doing way more in the house and I'm kinda. 160 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:43,000 I'm. Trying to see the positives in 161 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:48,680 it all because I reckon by the end of all this, and I'm not 162 00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:51,320 going to talk much at all today in this podcast about 163 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:55,760 coronavirus and all that kind of thing, because I'm seeing so 164 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:58,920 much about it. But I actually think at the end 165 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:02,600 of all this, although it is such a like it's an epidemic or 166 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:07,120 whatever, which I think it really is, I think there will be 167 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:09,160 positives to come out of it as well. 168 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:13,440 You know, just in terms of in such a terrible situation, I 169 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:16,040 think there will be a bit of light in it, like our 170 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:19,000 relationships, the way we sort of treat each other. 171 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:21,000 I don't know, I just think they'll be, they'll be cool 172 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:25,480 stuff and people will be making a tonne of content and comedians 173 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:28,360 like me will be putting videos out left, right and centre. 174 00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:33,040 So I'm just figuring out how many I do a day, what the best 175 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,680 way to shoot them is and all that kind of thing. 176 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,200 But the podcast is still going to be here because, I mean, 177 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:43,720 coronavirus came at a very, very awkward time for my podcast. 178 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:46,040 Very inconvenient, very inconsiderate. 179 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,760 Some might call it sly. Well, we're just getting into 180 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:51,760 the groove of the TME podcast. We're putting them out there. 181 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:57,040 We go into the UK podcast charts where we go in top ten, I say 182 00:09:57,040 --> 00:10:01,640 top 10137, OK. But people are still absolutely 183 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:04,240 buzzing about it. It virtually ends the troubles. 184 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,280 People are like, Oh my God, you're 137. 185 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:10,240 The podcast charts and it's just me, Dan and Big Mike Guinness 186 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:14,160 studio and we're killing it and we're drinking the tea and look, 187 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:17,320 the tea bag companies are fighting over us. 188 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:22,080 Tetley coming in with a mill week, Panjana double it. 189 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:25,840 The EPG tips monkey is like me, whatever you need. 190 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:27,760 And he winks at me and he goes whatever you need. 191 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,720 And I was like, I don't know what you're implying there, but 192 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:35,760 I don't want it. And then fucking COVID, who, by 193 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:39,280 the way, sounds like the way people are talking about COVID, 194 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:43,000 he sounds like an international student at a uni that everyone 195 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,720 fucking hates. That's just the way people are 196 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:48,440 like fucking fucking COVID, mate. 197 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:54,640 And Covid's like guys apologise, you know, but it's, it's common 198 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:56,000 or not. It's an inconvenient time for 199 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,520 the podcast for coronavirus to to have had. 200 00:10:58,520 --> 00:10:59,840 And I'm just going to be honest about it. 201 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:05,280 I think could it could it potentially be a sabotage from 202 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:07,280 other TBS podcasts? Yes. 203 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:10,800 OK, let's not rule that out. I got I got a text message. 204 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:14,800 By the way, getting text messages now is the same way you 205 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,880 got them whenever you were like 14 or 15. 206 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:19,360 When you just get a phone, you're buzzing to get a text. 207 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:22,840 You're like, who has text me? You know, And then it's just all 208 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:25,800 the WhatsApp groups you're in and you're just waiting for the 209 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:28,080 most intelligent person in the WhatsApp groups you're in 210 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:31,040 telling you information and then you go. 211 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:34,200 That's what I'm going to take as gospel because it's been said by 212 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:36,720 the least stupid person in my WhatsApp group. 213 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:42,800 But look, we are kind of in lockdown. 214 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:47,600 What we're trying to do is have like a routine, you know. 215 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:51,880 So by the way, it's only been two or three days, but already 216 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,400 I'm like, yeah, I'm on the best thing to do is get a routine. 217 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:57,320 You know, my experience of these lockdowns, get a routine. 218 00:11:57,320 --> 00:12:00,000 That's the number one thing. But but yeah, we're just going 219 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,880 out to do nature things. Yesterday went to the beach and 220 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:04,240 there was absolutely nobody there. 221 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,480 And it was great. It was raining, but I was like, 222 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:08,880 this is actually lovely, you know? 223 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:12,560 And it was in times like this as well. 224 00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:17,960 I want everyone to remember that there is a shop in Belfast 225 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:26,880 called JoJo Mamambebe and whenever you're feeling down, 226 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:30,800 whenever you go, I don't know what's happening here because it 227 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:35,120 is such a time of uncertainty. I want you to just remember that 228 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:40,680 on the Lisburn Rd, amongst shops with normal names like Moulds, 229 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:49,360 there is a shop that is so unnecessarily called JoJo My Mom 230 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,680 Baby. And I want you to think whenever 231 00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:55,440 you're going through a bit of a rough time in the next couple of 232 00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:58,960 weeks, months, whatever, I want you to just imagine the people 233 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:03,120 that work there, whenever they answer the phone, they have to 234 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:06,720 say hello, how's it going? This is JoJo My Mom Baby. 235 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:11,520 And that will always make you feel better because it doesn't 236 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:15,640 need to be called that. It's in Belfast, you know, And I 237 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:17,200 also want you to picture people saying it. 238 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:21,400 We need a caught here. Must take a race up to that JoJo 239 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:25,600 Mama baby. So that, I mean, that's what I 240 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:27,040 do. If I'm like, I don't know what's 241 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,560 happening. I just think of that and it's 242 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:31,120 all good. She's your Mama baby. 243 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:33,680 I mean, it's cool if it's called that in Paris. 244 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:40,480 I must nip over. I mean, OK, one thing we need to 245 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:45,000 do in in lockdown is find out if people in France say nip over or 246 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:49,320 is that just our thing? Bonjour, I'm going to nip over 247 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:53,280 to the shop. It's one thing worth finding 248 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,040 out. But I mean, if they're saying it 249 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:59,760 there, I must go to it works. You get a fellow from Lisburn 250 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,960 taking a message up here. I've got some vouchers for JoJo 251 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:06,560 and my mom baby. Always enjoyable. 252 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:13,720 Yes, we're on a bit of a lock down here and a big reason for 253 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:20,400 that is that there are two of us in this house. 254 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:27,960 But there will in not that long the time be 3. 255 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:34,200 And I think, you know maybe what I'm saying here. 256 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:39,040 But yeah, we have to take extra precautions because there's 257 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:41,560 going to soon be somebody else in the house and some people are 258 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:43,840 probably going, is someone coming over for lunch? 259 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:51,680 No, I mean, we are or having our own baby, OK, So we have to take 260 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:55,520 extra precautions. Some people might notice I'm 261 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:59,840 wearing dally pig pyjama bottoms and I got those at Christmas 262 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:06,320 because I'm going to be a daddy and 99% of people are going, Oh 263 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:08,840 my God, that is so cute. And there's some people that are 264 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:10,840 going, oh mate, you're such a loser. 265 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:16,520 And I'm OK with both of those things because it's, it's the 266 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:18,800 best thing ever. It's the best thing ever. 267 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:22,680 And even though we don't know what's happening with anything, 268 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:25,440 you know, we don't know what's happening in the hospitals and 269 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:29,800 all that. And we've got things we need to 270 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:32,560 get to, We've got appointments we need to get to, but we'll 271 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:34,040 just, we'll just make it all work. 272 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:39,760 And then that that's kind of crazy as well, that, I mean, 273 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:43,960 it's the most crazy thing ever to happen to me that, you know, 274 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:50,360 I'm going to be, I'm going to be somebody's dad because I'm not 275 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:54,840 really what people think about when they say someone's father. 276 00:15:55,240 --> 00:16:00,080 You know, like if you're in a bit of a fight and you say to 277 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:02,360 someone, my dad's coming around to sort this out. 278 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:08,960 What you don't picture is little Lord Fauntleroy here coming 279 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,400 around to sort it out, hands on hips. 280 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:17,480 Hey, what's going on here? You know, I'm not like if my 281 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:20,760 child is older and it's having sleepovers with like school 282 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:24,560 friends and then the school friends as their parents, are we 283 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,600 allowed to stay at, you know this kids house? 284 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:28,880 Then the parents go, I'll need to speak to their parents. 285 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:31,080 If I then arrive around the parents will go. 286 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,560 I said get his dad, not one of his other we mates. 287 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:38,480 I'll always have to be like I'm not your child's other friend 288 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:41,840 from school. I'm its parent, you know, so 289 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:45,080 it's just weird. It's weird that I'm going to be 290 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:50,960 a die, but it just is. It just is happening and I. 291 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:56,680 Probably will talk about it. In, in podcasts and stuff in the 292 00:16:56,680 --> 00:17:00,240 next while. But you know, I, I, I do like to 293 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:03,360 keep a lot of that stuff private, but it kind of makes 294 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:06,560 sense to talk about it because it describes why we're maybe, 295 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,079 maybe even. Sorry, my phone's. 296 00:17:10,079 --> 00:17:16,920 Dave Elliott, my, my other son. It just makes sense to kind of 297 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:21,599 talk about it because it's such a big part of what's going on 298 00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:25,240 with me at the minute. And also, I'm 1000 out of 1000 299 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,960 excited about it. And have I cried at every scan? 300 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:32,800 Yes. I even cry when people are just 301 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:35,440 scanning things in general. You know, sometimes I just hang 302 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:38,880 about in local libraries, you know, when some guy is scanning 303 00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:41,320 a Finance Report, you know, for his taxes. 304 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:45,760 I'm just in tears with my hand. This back on man, I'm so proud 305 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,880 of you. But I do cry. 306 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:53,040 I do cry at every single milestone type thing. 307 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:58,480 Scan No, got the news cried OK, just just completely cried. 308 00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:01,480 Like like completely like it was. 309 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:05,200 If I had no bones in my body, I just like I just went totally 310 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,720 limp and then I'd sit down for a while. 311 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:15,840 But every scan, everything. We also bought some like because 312 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:19,800 we don't know the gender yet. So we bought some baby clothes, 313 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:23,000 like just like one or two wee things when we didn't quite 314 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,960 demean to buy that. And when we bought them, I 315 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:27,800 cried. And then when we got them home 316 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:32,280 and I hung them up beside all my clothes, I cried and I always 317 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:37,640 cry and I'm a crier and probably I might already have had a 318 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:39,760 little bit of coronavirus, but I've cried it out. 319 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:44,560 So that's what I would recommend people do if you, if you start 320 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,960 obviously not me saying that there will be 114 year old guy 321 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:48,920 going. Is it me? 322 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,160 Is that what you do? I I can get it then. 323 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:58,320 I just need the garden. But yes, so that is a big, big 324 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:01,280 thing at the minute. So that combined with the fact 325 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,400 that because I've got to make it about myself as well, I have 326 00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,160 Crohn's disease. Guys, I don't know if I 327 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,520 mentioned it. But I've got Crohn's disease, 328 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,760 but I'm just running about like some sort of hero anyway. 329 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:18,360 So we are going to be that fun. And we you know, what's funny is 330 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,320 they'll also be 12 people watching this going. 331 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,240 He's having a child. I thought he. 332 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:26,840 Was. No, he's not all right, you 333 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:28,640 know. But hold on, let me have 334 00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:33,120 another. Let me have another sip of tea. 335 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:37,200 Also, it's going to be difficult doing stand up when this whole 336 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:43,560 coronavirus thing ends because I don't want to do anything down 337 00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:49,440 the line other than get fun novelty outfits from me and my 338 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:53,440 child and dress us both up and do photo shoots. 339 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:57,600 That's what I want to do full time like that. 340 00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:00,800 I mean, there is money to be made there definitely, you know, 341 00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:05,120 but. But yeah, it's so that so so 342 00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:06,960 that's that. So that's my news, guys. 343 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:10,040 OK. So I hope in this time of 344 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:15,880 uncertainty we can all go mate. Fair play to you, Big Daddy Peg 345 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:20,360 himself. So yeah, that's great. 346 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:24,640 The the not great thing is there's no gigs for so long. 347 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:28,680 And I get that there's way more important things in the world 348 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,360 than stand up gigs. You know, that definitely gets 349 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:34,640 put into perspective. But it's just funny that I have 350 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:38,520 all this energy for like, I'm so used to just going to being able 351 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:41,600 to perform and I know I just can't go and do that. 352 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:45,400 So I'm just running about trying to do gigs to people, but in a 353 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,280 roundabout way. So I'm not making it seem like a 354 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:50,320 gig, you know, but if like, kids from next door kick the ball 355 00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:53,480 into my garden and like, you just want your ball back. 356 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,640 Yeah, yeah. All right, well, let me run some 357 00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:57,720 new material by you guys. Funny thing happened to me this 358 00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,920 week. And they're like, fuck off. 359 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:05,480 I go, hey, cut it out because I'm going to be a father myself, 360 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,840 you know, totally irrelevant. I mean, I'm just telling people 361 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:12,040 that I'm going to be a dad in situations that don't merit it. 362 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:18,200 You know, some guy, some guy walking at the street or I meet 363 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:19,120 you at the time when you're there. 364 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:21,720 Yeah. The time is fatherhood. 365 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:28,680 OK? Fucking time is a decade. 1:15 I 366 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:32,240 wrote down a wee list of a load of things that I want to talk 367 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,920 about, but as always, I'm probably not going to get 368 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:38,120 through them all. I've got a load of questions 369 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:42,040 from last week on Twitter and Instagram that I'm going to get 370 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:44,520 through. Before I do that, let me just 371 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:48,400 mention something really quick, which is going to be kind of 372 00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:53,200 important to me in the next while, and that is we have a 373 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:56,520 Patreon for the Tea With Me podcast. 374 00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:02,000 Let me bring it up here. Patreon, Oh my God, why don't I 375 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,440 don't know how to work things, Yes. 376 00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:12,360 So if you go to patreon.com/tea with Me pod at patreon.com/tea 377 00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:16,240 With Me pod, what happens is, and I'll post the links for that 378 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:19,680 up as well. It means you can support the 379 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:24,560 podcast with a small like subscription. 380 00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:28,400 So what you can do is pay like if you can, obviously, because 381 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,720 it's such a shit time that there's people getting laid off 382 00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:33,160 from jobs and all that kind of thing. 383 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:35,640 So listen, this is only if you can do it. 384 00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:38,120 If you want to support the podcast with like a fiver a 385 00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:41,360 month, with a tenner a month or more than that, you can. 386 00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,240 And there's like wee tears of what you can get for that. 387 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:47,360 Now if you support the podcast with 0 month, you just get the 388 00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:49,280 podcast. And a lot of people have said 389 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:52,920 that's more than enough. OK, people around the world have 390 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:55,840 said you're too kind Messiah. And I'm like, don't call me 391 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:59,120 Messiah. But what you'll get is a bonus 392 00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:01,040 podcast. And we already have a couple of 393 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,680 those in the bank. So they're just an extra week 394 00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:07,360 podcast for the Patreon people. And as as you sort of donate 395 00:23:07,360 --> 00:23:10,320 more, you get more sort of perks and things like that, but only 396 00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:12,240 if you can't do it. So I just want to give that a 397 00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:14,200 quick plug before we get back into the podcast. 398 00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:19,240 Patreon.com/tea with Me pod Also going forward for these 399 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,480 episodes, I am going to do my best to get guests on, even 400 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:27,240 though we're kind of on lockdown here, so it'll probably just be 401 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:29,240 audio. So I'll be here. 402 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:33,800 I'll be here doing the video looking like this if you're 403 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:38,600 watching the podcast, but I will have an audio line played in for 404 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:42,560 some guests, but I don't know 1000% if I can do that. 405 00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:46,480 But that's my intention, so I'm just going to try and bring you 406 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,280 good podcasts coming up in the next few while. 407 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:53,120 There you go, patreon.com/tea with me pod. 408 00:23:57,880 --> 00:23:59,720 Welcome back to the Tea with Me podcast. 409 00:24:00,360 --> 00:24:02,080 Here's the thing. I've got a weird amount of tea 410 00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:05,200 left in my cup and it's not roasting, you know, but it's not 411 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:11,640 like it's not roasting but it's not not fit for purpose is what 412 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:13,520 I'm trying to say. Before I get into listeners 413 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:17,840 questions, I have to talk about something that I absolutely love 414 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,800 and that is the programme Love Is Blind. 415 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:25,520 One of the best things about lockdown is we have been able to 416 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:29,680 watch Love Is Blind on Netflix, but we've not watched the whole 417 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:32,480 thing in one day. We're sort of spreading that out 418 00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:33,840 and trying to watch an episode a day. 419 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,400 Hey, it's the greatest show ever. 420 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:41,400 What it is is this, I think, I don't know how many people went 421 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,480 into it, but couples meet each other, so they're segregated 422 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:46,440 into boys and girls, which is the way it should be. 423 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:50,120 P7 disco style, boys on this side, girls on this side. 424 00:24:50,360 --> 00:24:52,720 They're chatting about makeup. We're trying to break dance. 425 00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:54,960 To run DMC and Jason Nevis, it's like that. 426 00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:58,480 That was just the last P7 disco I remember. 427 00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:00,600 You can really break dance. Cheers. 428 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,760 And no one could, absolutely nobody could. 429 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,880 There was this guy called Phil who could in my primary school 430 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:08,800 and he did it on the last P seven days ago. 431 00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:11,400 And it was weird that he could do it well and all the boys 432 00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:12,720 didn't like it. And we're like me. 433 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,360 And it's weird that you've practised doing that. 434 00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:18,360 We're just doing like a spin kind of until we stop spending. 435 00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:22,240 But he was like doing moves and it was weird because hey, he was 436 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,400 white. So there you go. 437 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:28,400 But love is blind is amazing. They get boys to speak to girl 438 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:32,120 like men to speak to women, and they're in pods so they can't 439 00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:33,680 see each other. They can just hear each other 440 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,960 and they get to know each other. So it's all about guys. 441 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,680 Is love blind? Can they build an emotional 442 00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:41,320 connection? And then what they do is they 443 00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:42,760 release them. I mean, you can just get 444 00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:47,480 released if you want, I guess. But when you ask someone to 445 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:50,360 marry you and you both get engaged, then you can leave. 446 00:26:07,120 --> 00:26:09,560 And we're back. So I had to take a quick break 447 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:15,280 there because my GoPro was full. And in in that moment he 448 00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:20,240 realised he was not equipped this week for video podcasts. 449 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,880 So that's sad. But look, it's an audio version, 450 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,960 OK? And that is, as we've agreed, 451 00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:30,160 more than enough. But yeah, I've got. 452 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:31,200 Do you know what the mad thing is? 453 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,280 I've got I've said that 80 times this podcast. 454 00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:34,240 Do you know what the mad thing is? 455 00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:35,840 It's the worst catch phrase of all time. 456 00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:38,280 Do you know what the mad thing is? 457 00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:43,200 I've said that 98 Times Now. Yes. 458 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,600 The annoying thing is I have an unbelievable camera. 459 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:49,880 I've got like a really good Canon camera that I bought last 460 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,400 Christmas and I've never really used. 461 00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:56,160 So that is one thing I'm going to learn in lockdown, how to use 462 00:26:56,160 --> 00:27:00,360 that camera and then I'm going to make music videos. 463 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:03,680 Imagine I did that just like recorded a full album in here. 464 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:05,680 I'm just like, I'm not that good a singer. 465 00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:09,360 In fact, I'm not good at singing and then just released it. 466 00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:14,600 But like deadly series after. Oh, it's what you do to me. 467 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,240 Hey there, Delilah. But like but like. 468 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:21,840 I put so much work into it, I would enjoy doing that. 469 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:27,280 Yeah, I've got loads and loads of questions, so I'm going to do 470 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:30,200 my best to get through them. Cheers to everybody who sent 471 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:33,160 questions in. Also, we've got this. 472 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:35,800 News thing that I'm going to tell you about, and I'll also 473 00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:40,200 post up about it and all that kind of thing where I'm going to 474 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:44,000 get used to saying voice notes in where you can ask questions, 475 00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:46,440 suggest topics. Chat to me. 476 00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:53,680 Producer Dan has set that up and you can do it. 477 00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,480 Here we go. If you want to send in voice 478 00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:59,960 memos or anything like that, get in touch with the podcast, send 479 00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:01,960 questions. I'll still do the question shout 480 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:03,440 out in Twitter and Instagram and all that. 481 00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:08,840 But if you want to do it more directitsteawithmepodcast@gmail.com, 482 00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:12,320 that's teawithmepodcast@gmail.com. 483 00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:14,800 And that's the way you can sort of do it more direct. 484 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:19,760 But I put out the shout for questions last week and then we 485 00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,240 were we recorded. Last week, me and Michael, me 486 00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:24,640 and Big Mike, sorry, already dead, name him. 487 00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:29,320 But we did that last week. But then it just felt weird. 488 00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:32,800 It was a day that. You know, the extent of 489 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,160 coronavirus and all that things kind of kicking in. 490 00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:37,880 And we were like halfway through the podcast and I went, it's a 491 00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:39,760 really weird atmosphere. And he went, yeah. 492 00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:41,800 And I went, yeah. And then we just went home. 493 00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:46,480 So there's that, but at the show for. 494 00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:51,080 Questions and loads you responded so I want to get 495 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:51,960 through them. Here we go. 496 00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:54,280 First question is from Mark Miller. 497 00:28:54,280 --> 00:29:00,160 Have you been panicked by NT? This isn't a lie but I own 498 00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:04,760 probably close to and I don't want people to fucking mate you 499 00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:07,280 need to hook us up. I own about 1000 tea bags 500 00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:09,680 because the garage. Near me was doing a deal last 501 00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:14,440 year and I said if. If you meant to do this to like 502 00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:17,680 attract idiots, you know, the way some some deals are clearly 503 00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:19,920 set up for idiots too, that's actually a pretty good deal. 504 00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:22,160 But it's not. If they meant that for this, 505 00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:25,240 then they succeeded because I went, hey, let me rent a van. 506 00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:29,040 You know, I rented a van and six Polish guys and we cleared the 507 00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:31,280 place out. So I haven't been manic buying 508 00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:33,840 tea. But then tea's not a panicky 509 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:35,920 thing. You know, That's a beauty of 510 00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:38,320 tea. Nobody's like coffee's like I'm 511 00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:39,960 on the go. I need a coffee. 512 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:44,840 People like down a coffee, tea is to be sipped and enjoyed. 513 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,160 So I haven't been, and I hope you haven't been either, Mark. 514 00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:53,120 But I hope you're well. My man Richard Parker says 515 00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:56,360 where's your escape plan if virus goes from flu to zombie 516 00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:59,080 overnight? And he says at the end clarifies 517 00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:00,520 that and says what is your escape plan? 518 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:04,640 Not where I'm actually going to lie down. 519 00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:08,120 Maybe sofa here? Oh, this not this is the ticket. 520 00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:11,000 This is the ticket. Yes. 521 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:18,920 My escape plan would probably be to see. 522 00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:22,640 I don't have an escape plan though, But if I did, if I was 523 00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:26,720 like a James Bond type guy, like some sort of single Maverick 524 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:32,880 guy, I would probably have some sort of undergrowing tunnel that 525 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:37,640 eventually tunnels up to Nandos. So it's not really escape, it's 526 00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:38,960 more just me thinking about food. 527 00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:42,680 And then I would just, I would just get into Nando's and then 528 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:45,120 spend as much time living there as possible. 529 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:50,520 Breakfast, butterfly chicken, Lunch, butterfly chicken, dinner 530 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:56,240 half chicken because you've got to mix it up, Jamie says. 531 00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:57,880 But it's mad. That there are people who are 532 00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:01,360 probably genuinely thinking about panic or sorry, like 533 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:04,000 escape plans. There's probably some guy in 534 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:10,760 Macrofeld going, here's the thing, boy, I'm going to build a 535 00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:13,400 spaceship, you know? And there probably is some guy 536 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:17,560 like on the back of a cornflakes box designing his spaceship and 537 00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:20,360 all he's got is like bottles of Buckfast and settle tape. 538 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:24,280 Jamie Harrison, If you could pick a day to relive over and 539 00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:28,720 over, Groundhog Day style, what day would it be and why? 540 00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:36,880 If I could pick a day, that probably my last Waterfront 541 00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:39,400 show, because it was the first time I'd done the Waterfront. 542 00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:43,400 Not that it's important, but it was sold out. 543 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,360 Not that that's important, but that's everything. 544 00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:51,880 And my friends and family were able to go, most of them. 545 00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:56,880 I had a lovely dinner with friends beforehand, did the gig, 546 00:31:56,920 --> 00:32:01,240 it was so lovely. Then afterwards we went out for 547 00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:03,200 a couple of drinks. I went home. 548 00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:06,680 Me and my wife got home for like 12. 549 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:09,680 I watched much of the day, had a cup of tea. 550 00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:12,880 That's the that's the dream right there. 551 00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:17,560 That was a great day. So I'd probably relive that over 552 00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:19,640 and over again. Roshan says. 553 00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:21,880 Roshan or Roshan, you know, potato, potato. 554 00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:24,520 She says, how did you break your nose? 555 00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:27,080 Please? How did you break your nose? 556 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:32,120 Please? I I broke my nose. 557 00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:34,040 That's a good question. Fuck, I didn't break my nose. 558 00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:37,920 I think I was playing indoor football and this really nice 559 00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:45,920 man called Richard like went the header of the ball and headed my 560 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:50,840 big snide. So I'm pretty sure that, yeah, 561 00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:52,840 that was it. And he felt really, really bad 562 00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:54,080 about it. And I was like, don't worry. 563 00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:56,920 And then assault in the mirror and I was like, Richard, worry, 564 00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:04,320 Richard, you monster. But I think I fucked up because 565 00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:08,440 when I went up the hospital, they were like, yeah, it's bust. 566 00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:13,680 And they put these. No, that's not true. 567 00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:16,120 I went up the hospital and then I went out that night because it 568 00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:18,520 was still kind of student age. And I was like, I'm a legend. 569 00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:21,440 I'm going out here. And then I had an operation to 570 00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:27,120 reset it and they put these like plasters over my nose, you know, 571 00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:31,080 like 6 plasters going down my nose to keep it in place after 572 00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:34,320 the operation they'd done. And genuinely, I had a gig that 573 00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:36,760 night. So I went, I can't go on with 574 00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:38,040 these fucking plasters on my nose. 575 00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:40,440 So I took them off and I think if I hadn't, I took them off, my 576 00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:41,600 nose would be perfectly straight. 577 00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:46,040 But the main thing is looking good on stage. 578 00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:48,840 Am I right guys? So that's how I broke my nose. 579 00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:52,760 Connell O'Neill says worst gig you've ever performed at. 580 00:33:53,000 --> 00:34:00,000 Hey man, TYP take your pick. Every local comedian has 600 bad 581 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:07,480 gig stories and I have 599. The worst one ever. 582 00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:12,080 I don't know because you can, your parameters for it are 583 00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:14,400 always totally different. Like some people might go the 584 00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:17,719 worst ever is when like the audience is like not listening 585 00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:20,600 to their performers and you go on stage in the middle of that. 586 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:22,800 So nobody's listening to you. So you're just doing stand up 587 00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:25,679 essentially to yourself. That can be bad. 588 00:34:25,679 --> 00:34:27,360 But then there's part of that where you're like, oh fuck it, 589 00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:31,320 I'll just motor on through here. But sometimes the worst one can 590 00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:36,440 be when it goes just OK. Like this definitely isn't the 591 00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:42,040 worst gig I've ever performed at, but I mean, it wouldn't make 592 00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:47,080 the bottom 500. But this is me because this 593 00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:51,040 podcast is honest, right? So I'm always going to tell you 594 00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:53,600 about the gigs that go well on the sold out Waterfront. 595 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,000 But then I'll also tell you when I think I fucked it up. 596 00:34:56,280 --> 00:35:00,440 And a big one of those was I did the Galway Comedy Festival last 597 00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:02,440 year, the Vodafone Comedy Carnival. 598 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:07,000 I think that's what it's called, with Mickey Bartlett and Colin 599 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:11,080 Geddes and loads of our friends. And we went down and did that 600 00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:13,960 and had really good shows at the festival. 601 00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:18,240 But they did an RTE taping for a TV show to go out in RTE like 602 00:35:18,240 --> 00:35:19,760 live from the festival kind of thing. 603 00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:25,520 And they were there was 1 audience sitting in a big tent 604 00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:29,120 and it was like comedian after comedian after comedian doing 10 605 00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:31,960 minutes and just. Luck of the draw. 606 00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:38,760 I ended up going on last, so it was supposed to be like a 2 hour 607 00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:41,840 record for talk's sake and it was a little more like 5 because 608 00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:47,720 that always happens with these things so I can't blame it on 609 00:35:47,720 --> 00:35:51,600 that. But here's a weird thing, I wore 610 00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:55,200 a shirt and boots and I'd never normally do that on stage. 611 00:35:55,720 --> 00:35:59,560 Like a shirt and brown boots and I was waiting to go on stage. 612 00:35:59,720 --> 00:36:02,920 Very uncomfortable because I was like, this isn't what I normally 613 00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:05,920 wear, why am I wearing this? So that was already in my head. 614 00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:09,440 Then I was literally the last person on of the day, so about 615 00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:15,360 half the audience had left and but yet, and that sounds like an 616 00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:19,520 excuse, it isn't because there was people just on before me 617 00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:21,160 doing well and stuff like killing it. 618 00:36:22,240 --> 00:36:25,800 I went on and I think in my head I'd already and I shouldn't do 619 00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,320 this because I've been doing stand up too long for this. 620 00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:31,840 But I went on like this isn't going to be good. 621 00:36:32,720 --> 00:36:38,560 So I was going on like in a negative way and to stand over 622 00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:42,120 my convictions. You can actually see this on 623 00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:44,000 YouTube. It just got uploaded yesterday. 624 00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:47,600 If you type in the thing, it's like Vodafone Comedy, she and 625 00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:53,360 Todd, they uploaded all the sets and in no way is it the worst 626 00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:56,520 gig I've ever done. Bits work, bits don't, but it's 627 00:36:56,520 --> 00:37:00,600 just interesting to look at me and go, he's not comfortable 628 00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:03,480 there. You know, I kind of rifle 629 00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:06,840 through my material too quick. I didn't just stand there and do 630 00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:09,320 my thing. So that's not the worst gig I've 631 00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:14,560 ever done, but sometimes ones that actually go OK, you can 632 00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:17,280 still walk away from being more angry because the ones that are 633 00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:19,800 really bad, you go, oh, that was a bad gig because the audience 634 00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:24,240 were terrible or that was a bad gig because the night is badly 635 00:37:24,240 --> 00:37:25,720 run. But there's shows like that, 636 00:37:25,720 --> 00:37:28,600 like that RTE 1 where you go actually, it's set up really 637 00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:30,120 nice. I just didn't have a good one, 638 00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:34,840 you know, but, but I'm not like I am harsh on myself if the gig 639 00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:39,480 goes bad, but I am always kinda looking forward to the next one. 640 00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:42,240 You know, I'm like, OK, I fucked that up. 641 00:37:42,240 --> 00:37:44,400 But I've because at the festival there's loads of gigs. 642 00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:46,800 So I'm like, OK, I didn't have a good one there, but I've got a 643 00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:49,840 gig in an hour and a half, let me go and have a good one there. 644 00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:55,040 And what's kind of good is I did Pug Ugliese Comedy Club last 645 00:37:55,040 --> 00:38:00,720 week for Dave, for Dave Elliott. I headlined that because Colin 646 00:38:00,720 --> 00:38:03,080 was supposed to be on but he had he had to pull out. 647 00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:08,960 So I filled in as the poster said or the like Instagram post 648 00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:12,840 for pubs, comedy club. I filled Colin's Hall and that 649 00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,320 is not the first time that I've done that. 650 00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:18,520 The Sunday will probably run with that now because there's 651 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:23,680 not really much going on. But it was a real, if that was 652 00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:26,040 the last gig for a couple of weeks or months, that was a 653 00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:27,680 really, really nice one to go out on. 654 00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:29,440 I enjoyed that doing some new material. 655 00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:32,560 There was kind of a weird atmosphere there because it was 656 00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:35,760 like a public gathering of about 70 people and people were kind 657 00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:38,840 of a bit, but it was it was class. 658 00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:43,000 So yeah, sometimes the worst gigs, sometimes you could like 659 00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:46,000 watch me at a gig and go. That was great. 660 00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:47,560 Did you love that? And I'll be going. 661 00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:49,600 No. And then there's other times 662 00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:53,680 where you'll go, oh mate, that was a disaster and I'll go. 663 00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:57,200 Actually, it was alright. So it's hard to tell Connell, 664 00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:01,640 but I do have million bad gig stories like we all do, because 665 00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:03,520 you remember the worst ones instead of the good ones. 666 00:39:03,720 --> 00:39:06,320 But you kind of remember them in an affectionate way because 667 00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:09,960 usually, like, you were there with comedian friends and like 668 00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:11,960 they've gone through it too. They had a bad one maybe. 669 00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:13,320 So you're like, fuck, remember that time? 670 00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:17,120 Remember that time we drove to Cushion Doll and I just made 671 00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:18,840 that up? I don't. 672 00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:20,720 I have gigging Cushion Doll and it was actually really good. 673 00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:26,000 But yeah, Jamie Gordon says if you had to go into self 674 00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:29,000 isolation 14 days but watch the same movie constantly for the 675 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,760 entire time, what would you choose? 676 00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:36,760 Well, I kind of am in self isolation a bit, but if I had 677 00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:39,800 to, I don't. I don't watch films as much as I 678 00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:41,040 used to. I prefer a series. 679 00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:44,160 Like I'm aware I was talking about Love is Blind there before 680 00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:48,200 I had to take a break from the podcast to reset the camera and 681 00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:50,920 then I stopped talking about it. I'll talk about it properly next 682 00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:53,640 week because people probably want to get spoiler alerts. 683 00:39:53,960 --> 00:39:57,400 But if I had to watch one film over and over again, I'd 684 00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:00,680 probably go for Step Brothers because Step Brothers is kind of 685 00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:02,920 always funny to me. And it's a good length of film, 686 00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:06,280 you know, because you don't want to watch a short one because 687 00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:11,920 then you're like, it's over. But a longer 1, you can sort of 688 00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:14,680 ease into it. Peter Walker says it feels like 689 00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:18,360 the zombie apocalypse is coming. Name one essential item on your 690 00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:21,920 prepper shopping list. Definitely Poppers. 691 00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:24,680 Definitely poppers. I've been running about like a 692 00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:26,400 lunatic trying to panic by poppers. 693 00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:28,960 No, in all seriousness, almond butter. 694 00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:34,800 Almond butter, that would that would probably be the number one 695 00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:38,320 thing because it's what I have in my porridge in the morning 696 00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:39,880 and that sets me up for a good day. 697 00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:42,480 And if I can't get it, I'm ratty. 698 00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:47,160 Now my wife's like, come on, let's go for a walk today. 699 00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:56,080 Now where's my almond butter? So yeah, probably that Lori says 700 00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:58,440 can you get coronavirus more than once? 701 00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:00,840 Hey, don't ask me. You know who'd be better to ask 702 00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:05,720 the NHS? Ask a doctor, man, because I 703 00:41:05,720 --> 00:41:07,800 appreciate you coming to me for medical advice. 704 00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:11,240 But I'm probably like the, I'd probably be like the three 705 00:41:11,240 --> 00:41:13,280 thousandth guy. You should ask in Northern 706 00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:17,280 Ireland, roughly. So yeah, don't, don't ask me. 707 00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:18,200 Imagine. I imagine. 708 00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:21,160 I just did start dispensing health advice now. 709 00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:24,000 The best way to do it to not get coronavirus is if you cut a 710 00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:28,320 potato in half and rub it under your armpits and then fry the 711 00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:34,360 potato and eat it and then take the other half and take the 712 00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:37,880 other half and bury it in the Giant's Causeway. 713 00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:40,480 You'll be sweet. Kieran Fleming. 714 00:41:41,240 --> 00:41:43,600 What should the punishment be for people who post pictures of 715 00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:45,520 Corona on social media for bands? 716 00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:51,600 Oh clock, people are trying, you know, so if someone does that 717 00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:54,000 and he's like here, won't affect me lol. 718 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:56,040 And he's a bottle of Corona and it's in drinking it with a wee 719 00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:59,400 lime in it. That's OK, that's OK because 720 00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:01,600 we're in this time now where hey, we're all in this shit 721 00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:04,200 together. So let's not give out of people 722 00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:06,600 when they're just trying to have a laugh, even though it's in no 723 00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:10,800 way funny. Roshan again, getting a roar in 724 00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:13,360 twice says that's not a certain name, by the way, Roshan getting 725 00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:16,800 a roar in twice, It's it's just the second question in this 726 00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:19,880 thread and you only get one. But look, we're in a time where 727 00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:23,120 we're going to have to take more than one question from people. 728 00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:25,200 She says. Will you tell us more about your 729 00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,920 journey with Crohn's? I have colitis and I never hear 730 00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:29,280 people talking about it. Thanks. 731 00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:35,160 Yes, I will do that next week because I've got a load of 732 00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:39,480 questions to get through. And yeah, I'll, I'll try and 733 00:42:39,480 --> 00:42:44,680 remember to talk a bit about it next week because there are, I 734 00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:47,000 mean, there is kind of like a funny side to having Crohn's. 735 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:50,080 Like Crohn's is kind of a serious condition, I guess. 736 00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:52,440 Again, more health advice from doctor here. 737 00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:57,880 But but like, yeah, I wrote in Edinburgh show about it and 738 00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:00,720 people laughed. So, you know, there are kind of 739 00:43:00,720 --> 00:43:03,160 there is a funny side to it. Like I remember like loads of 740 00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:05,280 stuff in the hospital where I was like, oh, this is very 741 00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:07,720 funny. So we'll get through that. 742 00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:12,200 I have questions on Instagram too. 743 00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:16,800 Let me see. Let me see for the boys, for the 744 00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:19,480 questions from the boys and girls here. 745 00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:27,120 Here we go. Yes, yes, Tamara Guy says. 746 00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:31,560 Did you hear about Tracy's dog? I don't know what you're talking 747 00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:35,400 about, Wiggy. Dave says he's given me a 748 00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:37,240 million things to talk about. I'll pick one. 749 00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:40,720 Give us a bit of Soft Border Patrol chop. 750 00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:45,440 Yeah, Soft Border Patrol is on BBC iPlayer. 751 00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:48,880 It's the sitcom that I'm in. I mean, that's not it. 752 00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:50,360 That's not a fair description of it. 753 00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:55,120 The sitcom that Shane Todd's in. I mean, I'm probably the 8th 754 00:43:55,960 --> 00:44:00,760 lead in it, maybe even, maybe even 9th, you know, but. 755 00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:05,040 But I enjoy doing it soft Border Patrol, if you haven't seen it, 756 00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:08,200 is on BBC Northern Ireland. And it's about, it's like a 757 00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:12,400 mockumentary, like a fake documentary about a Border 758 00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:14,600 Patrol between North and South of Ireland. 759 00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:19,440 And yeah, it's in it. This is the third series. 760 00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,760 I started doing it last series. So I've been in for two series. 761 00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:28,120 And yeah, I I very much enjoy playing my character Lawrence 762 00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:30,000 Lail. Lawrence Lail. 763 00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:35,520 One thing I don't enjoy is somebody said why are you 764 00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:38,080 playing a gay character? Why are you making fun of a gay 765 00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:41,280 character? The thing about Lawrence Lyle is 766 00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:45,120 that's other people's insecurities because Lawrence 767 00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:47,240 Lyle is a married father of eleven. 768 00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:50,480 That was my first. I mean, I don't, I don't even 769 00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:53,680 know if they've ever put that in because sometimes like you do 770 00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:56,160 loads of stuff on this and. They can, you know. 771 00:44:56,760 --> 00:45:01,160 I record for 13 hours or something for this and they use 772 00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:05,080 20 minutes of footage Max, probably less. 773 00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:08,400 So there's loads of stuff you do, but if it doesn't tie into 774 00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:10,000 the storyline, obviously they can't use it. 775 00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:14,760 But I always start my bits every year going, you know, talking 776 00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:17,280 about like his home situation, but I just don't think they have 777 00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:21,160 time to use it. But my idea for the character 778 00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:24,240 Lawrence Lyle is he's just as under pressure father. 779 00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:29,800 And yes, he is camp, definitely. But when I like designed the 780 00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:33,280 character because that was really cool because when they 781 00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:35,280 gave me a shot about doing soap control, they're like, you can 782 00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:40,280 name the character, you can pick your outfit, you can, you know, 783 00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:42,360 almost design it from top to bottom. 784 00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:47,120 That's that's when I thought, yes, this character, Lawrence 785 00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:52,240 Ley, who kind of always talks about being selfless but then 786 00:45:52,240 --> 00:45:53,560 wants people to think he's a hero. 787 00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:59,920 So yeah, I like doing that. And I would like to do, I would 788 00:45:59,920 --> 00:46:02,760 like to do more of that character, I think because I, I 789 00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:05,080 also think as well, there's probably a lot of people who, 790 00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:08,000 you know, like my stuff, like follow my stuff, but maybe 791 00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:10,400 haven't seen soft Border Patrol yet or whatever. 792 00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:14,000 Because, you know, I guess less and less people, myself 793 00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:15,920 included, watch television nowadays. 794 00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:18,040 You know, when do we sit down and go right? 795 00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:19,440 This is on at this time every week. 796 00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:24,680 So it kind of is more kind of is older people that say to me 797 00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:26,720 about soft Border Patrol. Like, I know, I know some people 798 00:46:26,720 --> 00:46:32,080 say it, but like my age and younger, but a lot of the times 799 00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:37,240 I'll be at like a, you know, a family wedding or a bar out in 800 00:46:37,240 --> 00:46:39,120 the country and somebody will go. 801 00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:40,720 I like the old soft Border Patrol. 802 00:46:40,720 --> 00:46:44,400 You do, you know, so it maybe hits like a different generation 803 00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:47,760 that my stand up from my sketches wouldn't Mark. 804 00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:49,560 But yeah, you can check it out. It's on BBC iPlayer now. 805 00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:51,480 The last episode goes out this Friday night. 806 00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:55,600 Mark Haggerty says any more news in Dave's Zoo calendar that he 807 00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:56,920 agreed to do in the live podcast. 808 00:46:57,520 --> 00:47:00,760 I can't 1000% remember that. It was obviously me mugging him 809 00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:03,600 off. But no. 810 00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:06,760 But listen, when this coronavirus stuff is over, 811 00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:09,280 there's going to be loads of stuff we're going to get round 812 00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:11,400 to doing. And that's that's probably going 813 00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:14,120 to be everyone's attitude. See, when this is over, when 814 00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:17,280 this lockdown is over, I'm finally going to get that tattoo 815 00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:21,280 of Gerry Adams on the back. You know, that's not me saying 816 00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:22,800 that, but somebody will be saying that. 817 00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:30,000 Gerry Kelly Eun Mole says, did you did you ever dip chocolate 818 00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:34,800 biscuits in your tea? Look, we've talked about this in 819 00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:37,200 the podcast before. I'm not going to spend a lot of 820 00:47:37,200 --> 00:47:39,560 time addressing it. I'm just going to say, yes, I've 821 00:47:39,560 --> 00:47:42,440 done it before. But every St has a past and 822 00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:47,040 every Sinner has a future. Marcus Lynch, what are your 823 00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:49,600 Saint Patty's Day plans? Any chance of a bot appearance? 824 00:47:49,720 --> 00:47:51,440 Hey, nobody should be going to the bot. 825 00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:54,440 And I don't just I don't, I don't just mean over some 826 00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:56,080 bodies, OK? I don't just mean because of 827 00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:58,840 this lockdown. I don't mean that hire me for 828 00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:01,640 corporate work, but for some paddies. 829 00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:07,400 Yesterday we went for a walk down the beach and I got myself 830 00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:09,840 a can of Guinness at the garage a couple of days ago, like a 831 00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:13,280 draft can and I had three steps out of it and then that was it. 832 00:48:13,720 --> 00:48:17,960 So, you know, I did a bit of Dublin up at The Dubliners 833 00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:22,400 reunion concert, which is on YouTube, on TV, and I enjoyed 834 00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:24,000 that. Dylan goes class page, man. 835 00:48:24,280 --> 00:48:27,400 Not a podcast question, but I appreciate your brother Jude. 836 00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:28,760 What's your favourite Duncan Biscuit? 837 00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:32,000 Duncan Biscuit sounds like a 90s white rapper. 838 00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:39,480 Duncan Biscuit. Look, I mean, that's the level 839 00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:42,080 of lockdown banter that we're going to be having. 840 00:48:43,200 --> 00:48:44,720 Duncan Biscuit, the white rapper. 841 00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:50,440 That's not a podcast question. That's a weird message from a 842 00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:54,400 guy. What? 843 00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:57,760 Oh, that was from June. That podcast question. 844 00:48:57,760 --> 00:49:01,480 Sorry I fucked that, guys. I've really fucked it. 845 00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:04,320 Yeah, we do have some more podcast questions. 846 00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:05,280 Hang on. Hang on. 847 00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:10,640 Now. People are really enjoying when 848 00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:14,120 I said that Dave Elliott was selling fake hand sanitizer and 849 00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:15,720 loads of people took that seriously. 850 00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:19,120 Olivia messages me just there now and goes, is there no 851 00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:20,760 podcast this week? Olivia? 852 00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:22,600 You wait until lunchtime, my friend. 853 00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:28,400 Give my mate's YouTube channel Shout No Pay me. 854 00:49:31,240 --> 00:49:33,920 Someone says, did you start coronavirus just to avoid going 855 00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:36,360 to Larne? That would be rash. 856 00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:43,080 More podcasts? Yeah. 857 00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:46,400 Any chance of a weak DUP update video about the virus? 858 00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:50,600 Oh, for sure. The DUP man will definitely have 859 00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:52,280 something to say about it. Don't you worry. 860 00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:56,520 Don't you worry about that, Ulster says. 861 00:49:56,520 --> 00:49:59,440 Dota coronavirus. Yes, there will be something. 862 00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:04,080 Look, guys, here's my plan. You're going to get Dean 863 00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:07,080 Davidson videos, You're going to get McGoldrick videos. 864 00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:09,400 You might get an MC Beaser freestyle. 865 00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:12,920 You're going to get Keith Cruz. You're going to get new 866 00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:15,480 characters. You're going to get one offs. 867 00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:18,880 You're going to get films. You know, I might make wee 868 00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:21,920 stupid films around the house because I'm going to be making 869 00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:25,840 my own fun because, hey, I ain't earning any money. 870 00:50:26,760 --> 00:50:29,640 I'm not earning any money. I'm just messing about with my 871 00:50:29,640 --> 00:50:32,040 camera. And in a way, I think it's going 872 00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:37,320 to help me rediscover my love of doing sketches because I do love 873 00:50:37,320 --> 00:50:39,320 doing sketches. But you know, you do other 874 00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:42,480 things and sometimes you find excuses not to do regular 875 00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:44,520 sketches. You know, I'm doing the radio 876 00:50:44,520 --> 00:50:48,040 show, you know, this or that. But I'm just going to get back 877 00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:51,440 into my wife's going to have to help me shoot some stuff. 878 00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:54,200 And that in a way is going to be fun. 879 00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:58,480 Also at the minute we're continuing the radio show Me and 880 00:50:58,480 --> 00:51:02,440 Dave, BBC Radio Ulster, Friday nights at 6:00. 881 00:51:02,520 --> 00:51:05,440 The plan is to continue to do that if it's safe to do so. 882 00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:10,880 So we're just doing it in full hazmat suits, me, Dave and Hugo 883 00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:12,720 Duncan. But no way. 884 00:51:12,720 --> 00:51:16,040 Yeah, we are continuing that. So I'll post a link up to that 885 00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:21,440 when we get it. But it's a, it's kind of, it is 886 00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:23,760 scary in a way. Like that's, that's going to be 887 00:51:24,480 --> 00:51:30,320 my only form of income because I am self-employed and there are 888 00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:34,240 people that have it a lot worse. I totally get that, you know, 889 00:51:34,240 --> 00:51:38,640 like, yes, we have, we have a baby on the way and stuff and 890 00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:41,920 we're trying to move house at the minute. 891 00:51:41,920 --> 00:51:47,680 But it sounds cheesy to say, but if everybody has their health 892 00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:50,840 and everybody's doing OK, then that's that's the number one 893 00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:54,080 thing. And yeah, I'm just going to try 894 00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:58,280 and put out as many sketches, videos, podcasts as possible. 895 00:51:58,720 --> 00:52:01,560 And if it gives you a bit of a laugh or whatever, because, hey, 896 00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:03,240 it'll give me a laugh. Because I don't know if you know 897 00:52:03,240 --> 00:52:06,440 this, but I laugh aggressively at my own stuff. 898 00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:09,000 Like I just laughed at saying that. 899 00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:12,600 And that's not even a bit. So I'm going to get loads of 900 00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:14,240 stuff out. If there is things you want to 901 00:52:14,240 --> 00:52:17,440 see, give me a shout. Not if it's weird, you know, 902 00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:19,640 don't be like, hear me, a longtime fan. 903 00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:24,960 I'm a grandfather of eight. My name's Henry and I would love 904 00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:31,120 to see you. I would love to see you try and 905 00:52:31,120 --> 00:52:34,440 get your cock to touch your elbow. 906 00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:37,480 You know I won't do that. I mean, I might depends along 907 00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:44,280 this lockdown is going on for but there is there is a 908 00:52:44,280 --> 00:52:45,880 grandfather called Henry. Listen to this going. 909 00:52:45,920 --> 00:52:48,680 I actually never thought of that. 910 00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:51,600 But yeah, the podcast will keep rolling out. 911 00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:56,240 I'm going to try and get the video going because I want it to 912 00:52:56,240 --> 00:52:58,360 be business as usual. But bear with me this week 913 00:52:58,600 --> 00:53:01,240 because I'm an idiot. And there was also a time where 914 00:53:01,440 --> 00:53:04,800 I have this lamp and it kind of folds out like it has an arm. 915 00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:09,640 And I genuinely started taping a podcast and I went, this will 916 00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:11,400 work. And then it just didn't work. 917 00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:14,040 And I went, I need to stop modifying stuff because I'm not 918 00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:17,440 a builder on Robot Wars. I'm a self-employed comedian. 919 00:53:18,720 --> 00:53:21,320 I'm going to wrap up this podcast and yeah, just allow 920 00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:24,440 this to be like a we makeshift podcast, just this one, and then 921 00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:26,080 we're going to get properly back at it. 922 00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:28,960 But as you can appreciate, it's just a bit of, it's a bit of a 923 00:53:28,960 --> 00:53:33,760 weird one this week, But yes, properly back at it. 924 00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:37,680 Later in the week I'll probably bring out a second podcast and 925 00:53:37,720 --> 00:53:41,320 we've got a couple on Patreon, a couple of Patreon podcasts 926 00:53:41,320 --> 00:53:43,800 already recorded a couple of weeks ago that we're going to 927 00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:46,160 roll out on there. So if you want to support the 928 00:53:46,160 --> 00:53:48,120 Patreon, you get those bonus podcasts. 929 00:53:48,120 --> 00:53:53,480 You can get things like free tickets to the first live Tea 930 00:53:53,480 --> 00:53:57,080 with Me whenever we get that sorted later in the year, all 931 00:53:57,080 --> 00:54:00,360 that kind of stuff. So go on patreon.com/tea with Me 932 00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:06,600 pod, That's Tea with Me POD, patreon.com, and that's again, 933 00:54:06,600 --> 00:54:10,280 only if you can. I don't want anyone to be under 934 00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:13,000 pressure, you know, don't want anyone to be like, I'm going to 935 00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:14,840 have to steal from my granny here. 936 00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:17,240 So as fellow keeps doing podcasts, I will be doing the 937 00:54:17,240 --> 00:54:20,200 podcast regardless. But if you can support it, that 938 00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:23,360 would be sweet. So yes, I'll, I'm also going to 939 00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:25,760 say. Just listen to everyone's 940 00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:29,720 podcast. Just see what else is going out 941 00:54:29,720 --> 00:54:33,240 there because so many comedians have podcasts, so many of my 942 00:54:33,240 --> 00:54:35,800 friends. And maybe I'll tweet out like a 943 00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:38,800 big list of everyone's podcast because everyone's still trying 944 00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:41,520 to make stuff happen. But thank you very, very much 945 00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:43,280 for listening. I appreciate it. 946 00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:46,440 Bear with me while I just get the grips with doing podcasts 947 00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:50,720 from home. And shout out to to producer Dan 948 00:54:50,720 --> 00:54:56,840 and Big Mike who are not here. That is a bad reflection on 949 00:54:56,840 --> 00:54:58,640 their part. Yes, it's a lockdown. 950 00:54:58,840 --> 00:55:01,440 Yes, I've told them explicitly not to come here. 951 00:55:01,680 --> 00:55:03,680 But that's still very, very poor in their part. 952 00:55:04,240 --> 00:55:05,920 So they've got a lot to think about. 953 00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:10,520 Zippers. I enjoyed having you here and go 954 00:55:10,520 --> 00:55:12,720 and wash your cup out, you dirty pigs. 955 00:55:12,960 --> 00:55:14,040 And I'll see you later in the week. 956 00:55:14,280 --> 00:55:14,680 Bye.