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October 8th and 9th. Zippers, welcome to this week's
episode of the Tea with Me podcast with me.
She and Todd should have moved the camera closer.
Yes. Probably should have decided on
whether it was going to do that before I recorded the podcast.
Yes, 100%. But these are crazy times we're
living in. There's a global pandemic.
My hair doesn't have product in it.
It's it's crazy out there. And and the most surprising
thing about both those things is that I haven't started wearing
product. Here's the thing.
I go out once a week. I go to the house once a week to
do the radio show. And that's when I do my hair.
And have a shave. So, you know, you got it.
What's that phrase? You know, if you, you know,
still know what Beyoncé is the phrase like, if you want me at
my Beyoncé, you have to accept me as if you want me as my
Beyoncé, you have to accept me as my Kitty Price.
I think that's the phrase. So that's just the way it is.
And look, zippers, it's a good week.
It's a good week because gig bookings are starting to come
back in again, your boys starting to get back there on
the road. There's interesting things
happening with a show next year that's being rumoured.
I'm hearing, I'm hearing stuff on the Grapevine about it and I
really shouldn't be, it should be more than that because it's
me we're talking about. But I just let other people do
things for me and let's just say next year could be an
interesting year stand up wise. That's all I'm going to say.
Also, I talked last week about the fact that I did my first gig
back, which was in a garden in my mom, Victorio Angelone's
garden. I'm probably going Victorio
Angelone. Is that a guy who was part of
the Gambino crime family? Is he in a Netflix documentary
about the mob? No, Victorio Angelone is a stand
up guy from Belfast who changed his name but he pulled it up
because his real name is Robert Stephenson and I did a gig in
his garden couple of weeks ago. It was unbelievable, so good, so
well ran the the socially distance comedy club was
brilliant. I finally got the video with
that and had a watch of it and. It's so annoying because if I
wasn't already doing this material as part of the new
tour, I would just put the whole thing out on YouTube or Facebook
or whatever. So I might just start cutting up
some clips from that and putting it out.
And also, I'm going to have a rambly start here, but that's
just the way it is. As I said, there's global
pandemic on, so bear with me. Yeah, I, I'm.
Going to have shows in September.
I'm going to have shows in September.
They're being worked on at the minute.
But I know the people need to fix the money, told they need
that MTF money, told Fix and you're going to get it.
You're going to get it because I may or may not be at some point
in the future be doing some stand up shows with some friends
and that's just the way things are.
And of course it's going to be all socially distance.
But I'm not allowed to talk about it because Britney Spears
dad AK producer Dan has said that if I do genuinely, he's
going to cut my feet off. He said he's going.
He said he's going to send Victorio Angelone around to cut
my feet off. He's going to make me enough
like him of films. I'm going to make him off like
him of films. You know, a lot of people say
they've got my godfather. Impression is 10 out of 10.
I'm gonna go out. That kind of feels.
Enjoyable zippers. We've got loads to get through,
we've got listeners questions, we're going to do TripAdvisor,
all that good stuff. But before we start, let me plug
the patreonpatreon.com/tea With Me podcast.
You get the bonus episode on a Monday.
You get merchandise giveaways. Ticket news for those shows I
was talking about. Or release those on Patreon
before anywhere else. That's just the way we does it.
patreon.com/tea with Me podcast. You sign up, you support the
podcast. It's a beautiful thing.
On with the pod. Zippers, we're back.
We've started the podcast we have started and what I want to
do is something I haven't done in a while.
Which is TripAdvisor. We go on to a local restaurant,
TripAdvisor, but not like a wee independent one like because
that might affect their business.
We'll look at big, what are they called, big conglomerate
companies and we'll see what people are saying.
We've done the Apple Green service stations.
Like let's all lest we forget. The guy who said the Apple Green
service station on the way to Lisburn smelled like shit by the
way he was talking about the toilets.
He's like the toilet. Smell like shit and piss and I
hate to be the bearer bad and used my man, but that's what
you're going to find there. That's what you're going to find
there. This week we are looking at
another fast food restaurant and put it this way, ba da ba ba ba.
Some people aren't loving it. This is in Lisburn and it's
McDonald's. OK, now what I'm going to point
out, as we do with all the trip advisors, is there's a lot of
amazing reviews. Some people are absolutely
loving it. I'm only focusing.
On the ones where people are ripping, so I'm going to say
that this is not a bad business at all.
My lawyers instructed me to say. But there are some people who
are giving off and that's what I'm here for.
Hungry Man 369 You know by his username that if this doesn't go
right, he's going to be raging because as we've established,
he's a hungry man. He gives it one.
Star and says this is the tagline Can't get simple enough
order right. Can't get simple enough order
right. So what would be the like?
What would it be like with a complicated order?
Was in for lunch today. Simple enough order Big Mac meal
with no cheese and Galaxy caramel Mcflurry with extra
sauce. Now that's cheeky.
And also I don't like that extra sauce because the amount of
sauce that is on it is the amount of sauce that's on it.
And I hear people that are like extra sauce here.
Can you give me a gravy? Chip and give me extra gravy.
Those people want to have their cake and eat it.
Or in this case they're Mcflurry and eat it with extra sauce.
That's such a 7 year old thing to ask for.
Give me extra sauce. Fuck up hungry man.
I got a Big Mac with cheese and a Mcflurry with no extra sauce.
Never gone again. I've lost faith in McDonald's
brand. 70% of the time they get the order wrong.
It's not rocket science, I mean. It is quite big to lose faith.
In a whole brand where to have faith in a brand, but to just
how but how's he gauging the extra sauce?
How's this guy figure? I mean, cool, I had to put my
T-shirt down there because my belly was sort of going over it
and my T-shirt is a Lakers one. It says 23, but then it just
looks like it says looks like it says CS just because of a little
raw fat. That's funny that he's lost all
his confidence in the brand because they didn't give him his
extra sauce. Alan S says missing food three
times this week. Drive through, Alan, stop, stop,
man, because that's too many. That's too too many times a week
to go through the drive through. Same order each time and some
items missing. Bad vibes when you reach home
and meet his ruined not no. I lose faith.
For you Alan, when you say bad vibes, hey dude, I mean producer
Dan will absolutely love that because whenever the surf
conditions aren't right he says bad vibes and then he says
cowabunga. But Alan says we'll expect one
day as a one off and my fault for not checking but three times
on a different day is unreal. Staff should take time and
check. I mean that's an old phrase.
You get my order wrong at McDonald's once, shame on you.
You get murdered wrong at McDonald's twice, shame on me.
You get it wrong three times. I need a new diet Alan, you need
a new diet. Homeboy Dave Condley says OK,
I'm not going into an analyst rant here.
By the way, this is 6 paragraphs.
It's McDonald's. You like the food or you don't?
But I can't remember the last time I left this place and my
order was correct. There's always at least one or
two items missing. Hey, number one, check.
Number two, stop going. Why do these people act like
there's nowhere else to go? I know the great sages of the
Internet love to point out. What do you expect for a fiver?
Actually, I expect to get what I paid for in the story.
Time and time again, this happens.
Stop. Go.
That's the definition of madness, isn't it?
Doing the same thing but expecting different results.
So dead candy, I don't know if that's your real name.
I don't know if that's a nickname.
I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's a place.
But what I will say is this, take your fiver and just go to a
different place and enjoy yourself.
Check your bag guys. It's it's the only way to find
out what your order. It seems it's only what what
your order was. Yeah, correct.
Check your bag. It's only where you're going to
find out if your order is right. Well, yeah, obviously fucking
dickhead. If a manager is reading this,
you need to get the staff to read and check the order
beforehand. That over.
And yeah, I mean, I like that though.
I like that they know how much it angers them.
And then whenever he comes in orders a fillet of fish, They
they just put, they just put in a Ronald McDonald face.
You know Carly, what a disgrace. My 7th time going and coming
away paying for half the food I didn't get.
I'm sorry right? I feel like a little bit of a
rant coming on here. There are other places and if
your argument is well, McDonald's is cheap and I can't
afford food, Actually, you'll find out that some really
healthy food is way cheaper than McDonald's.
Go to listen. Go to Lidl and get yourself a
rucksack of lentils and boil them up with some chickpeas and
fucking enjoy yourself. But these people here are like,
it's wrong every time. Every time.
You might be the problem, you might be the problem.
Carly halfway down the motorway or else would have went back.
What a joke. Well, how do you know you're
wrong halfway down the motorway? Because if you're driving, you
should be looking inside your bag.
And also don't eat McDonald's in the car.
Have McDonald's in the car because it's going to make car
smell like McDonald's. And also at the time you always
think that's not a bad thing. And then you realise the next
time you drive the car that was that is not good, that is not
good. Colin.
Rubbish. Dr Thru service spent 30 minutes
stuck in the drive thru with no apology.
Giving cold food in a melted Mcflurry.
Management of Dr Thru is shocking.
Worst burger I ever tasted. Ella, I dropped in here about
10:00 PM on a Sunday evening. Hey here, are you the fonts?
What are you doing dropping in the places?
You can say you went in there, but why?
Why is someone dropping in? Hey, I'm just dropping.
I mean, producer Dan drops into the beach to go and hit some
good vibes, but don't say you dropped in.
I'm just going to drop in. Here you went.
And also 10:00 on a Sunday evening.
The Lord Jesus Christ did not want you to be eating burgers at
10:00 on a Sunday evening. The Lord Jesus Christ wanted to
be to be a sleeper in the bath. One or two things, but
definitely not both at the same time because you will die.
There were customers, but it was not busy.
I ordered the signature classic burger with no ketchup.
Oh, your heart. It did come with no ketchup, but
that was about all it was, right with it.
It was. It was a pair of marigolds.
Marigolds. You said tomato, I said tomato.
Don't correct me. Haven't tried the same burger in
Ipswich a week earlier. I was looking forward to it.
I just find that weird that you were in it.
I didn't. First of all, I didn't even know
Ipswich anyone had actually really been there of people that
are not from Ipswich. What were you doing in Ipswich?
I'll get in touch. The inside of the burger was
more gristle and it was barely lukewarm.
It can by the way, capital L, Capital W, like lukewarm is a
guy. It contained no red onions.
The lettuce was fine. The place itself was well
staffed. As a consequence, the place had
a few unclear dirty tables on the floor and up and brushed.
My personal advice would be to avoid unless you're desperate.
So hungry. It's not the famine.
One more W doot. Don't know if it's his real
name. I would enjoy it if it is.
Oh fuck. Here's the tagline.
Sun SEC after visiting here. Well done, Well done Ronald and
the fucking Hamburglar and all your mates.
Sun SEC. Nice one.
The sun SEC here. OK, well done.
Well done guys. He's not loving it, he's
shitting his brains out. I usually visit the carried off
McDonald's as the staff are nicer and it's much cleaner.
Why do you need, why do you need that from the staff?
Why do you? Are you going out of your way
because the staff say hello? Oh that's nice.
They always ask me how I am. But we were meeting people at
Sprucefield and the kids were hungry so I thought I'd give it
another try. They got the order on both
recent visits and my son was very ill after eating here.
It wasn't very clean. Maybe the reason he was sick is
because you're talking so much shit W dude and the staff aren't
nice to me. Hello.
One more woeful call my wife for a lunchtime drive through.
Who says romance is dead? Both of us ordered the same.
OK yeah, I'll get what he's getting, but boy were we
disappointed. The burgers must have been
sitting in the heat cabinet for too long waiting for the
lunchtime rush. The chips were pale and under
cooked. So disappointed.
I couldn't complain at the times we were rushing to a meeting,
but a drive through of this calibre should have the food
served perfect. I mean it sounds like he was
going to meet and also with his wife.
Why does this guy work with his wife?
Why do they go to McDonald's together for lunch and why do
they order the same thing? There's so much wrong with this
Not happy Waited 45 minutes for the drive through complete mess.
Wanted to visit the new McDonald's as I heard so much
about the revamp. I heard who's here?
Why are you hearing so much about I can't move everywhere I
go people are talking about the revamp.
Have you heard about the revamp at McDonald's?
Oh what are the I have 6 new urinals in oh happy days.
Where are you going to see the revamp?
People annoying me. I think it's because I've been a
dad for a month now. People just I just have no time
for these people. And if I saw that one of my
friends were one of the people that commented on this, hey, we
wouldn't be friends anymore. My son shitting himself, taking
him up some grapes and legacied. I mean, I very, very, very
little sympathy, but yeah, what do you want?
I mean, McDonald's is literally McDonald's.
What do you what do you expect? I don't expect, you know, first
of all, people are like, wouldn't recommend this
restaurant. You know, let's be honest.
It's convenience food. Now, should I be saying this?
No. Did McDonald's sponsor an
episode of Boyd Town? Yes.
Are they likely to do so in the game again, probably.
If I hadn't been doing this for a long time.
They TripAdvisor McDonald's. But it is, it is what it is.
It is what it is. And did they send some Big Mac
special sauce sauce for us to try?
Yes. And was I able to eat it?
No, because I have a dairy allergy.
So I made Dave Elliot eat it for the video.
We had to reshoot some stuff quite a lot.
And to be honest, he had two full pots of it.
And I think after that he felt a bit sick because he'd eaten so
much of it, not because it wasn't nice.
And now I fucked it up even more because I've said it made him
sick. It didn't make him sick.
It's only because he had so much of it.
He had already had his dinner. But sometimes that's the way the
cookie crumbles. Yeah, I was.
Supposed to be back in studio, but here's what happened.
Somebody else has the key. I gave somebody else the key.
I arrived on the shoot with Big Mike and we could not get into
our own office. Sometimes that's the way the
cookie crumbles. And then I drove the whole way
to the Lisburn McDonald's and I just wanted the staff to pick me
up and they didn't. All they did was look at me and
say, can I take your order? And I was like, I'm going
somewhere else. I'm going to carry Dove because
they were going to ask me how my day was.
And also I'm just upset in general because earlier I sent
Dave Elliot a picture of me with my shirt off, like a progress
picture because I've been working on.
And I was expecting him to write back and say, oh, you buff, you
know, a buff guy or whatever, a cute guy, buff Stroman.
But he didn't. He wrote back and said, why is
your hair like that? You look like an evacuee during
the Second World War. Now, I was, I was upset because
because a lot of people died in the Second World War.
And for him to say that about my hair.
And I also was like, David, first of all, I haven't done my
hair because at that point I was just out of bed.
And why would I do my hair to go work out when I'm going to have
a shower anyway? And also, you're a very much a
bald man. You know, some people in glass
house shouldn't throw stones and bald guys should not comment on
hair. And then unless, yeah, unless
you've shaved it off for a charity thing, in which case
you'll be able to have it again soon.
But but yeah, I just, I just didn't like that, you know, I
didn't like her because I pointed out to him when he says
to me he's done some workout stuff, whatever.
I would say, hey, man, good stuff, nice, nice boy.
You know, I always say nice boy, cute man.
And then and yeah, I was pissed off.
And also the main reason I pissed off is because I do
absolutely look like someone who would be evacuated during the
Second World War like the other children, Like definitely if I
was my age now, which is 32 and a father.
And they were like, we're evacuating kids because it's the
Second World War. And I took my son down to be
like, OK, he's going to do definitely.
A man would also left me at the same time be like and look to my
wife and say, we'll take your children somewhere safe.
And she would go to say, no, that's actually the father.
And I would look at her as to say, please don't say anything
because I just want to make sure that I'm safe.
I would 100% say, listen, don't say anything.
It's going to be fine. And then me and the other kids
would just go somewhere and be totally safe.
I think my granny got evacuated the Strabane during World War
Two. True story.
And I think she was back by 5:00.
I think her exact words were, I'll take my chances.
That's not true. But she was evacuated to
Strabane. And I remember when she told me
that I was like, one day I would like to go and see where you
were evacuated to, to really like understand it and all.
And I've never done that and I never will.
And that again, that's the way the cookie crumbles.
That's another one of those things that's unfortunate.
I think the thing with me is the reason I wouldn't have lasted in
the Second World War like my granny did, like so many people
did, is because I would be very particular and fussy about where
I was sent. You know, they would be like,
oh, don't worry, we're sending you to this place.
And then I would get there and I'd be like, Oh my God, this
place is gross, worse than Nandos.
And they would say this is 1942, Nandos hasn't been invented yet.
And I would say not good enough. And I would just just despite
everybody, I would just hang out in the real bomb hotspots during
the Second World War with my arms folded, sitting on the
ground in protest. Speaking of protest, the Dublin
Rd. Nandos hasn't opened for.
Set in yet? So I'm ready to do some sort of
Tiananmen Square. Peaceful protest, lie in front
of the tank, lie in front of the chicken cooker.
I don't know whatever I have to do.
But you guys need to sort that out because there's a lot going
on in the world at the moment with the globe pandemic and
Ellen, and I don't know what's happening.
People say Ellen's not nice, she's a rude person, she's
bullying people. And you know, I've got to say, I
see a lot of myself and Ellen, but only in a physical way.
You know, Colin Geddes was the first one to make that joke that
I look like Ellen DeGeneres. And it was one of those ones.
The first time he said it, I was laughing.
But then when it turned away, I was crying like that gift for
the guy who's got the mask on, but behind it he's crying.
That was 100% me. But you just have to accept
these things that I look like Ellen DeGeneres, who's like 61
or whatever she is with the same hair, same body, and generally,
generally just the same attitude towards people under us.
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Back to the pod. Last week in the podcast me and
on my Cam, we're talking about conspiracy theories and how we
thought it was all a bit mad. And then somebody sent me some
and then I looked at them and I was like, nobody's mad.
These all make total sense. So now I'm into it.
And then yeah. And I think, yeah.
And I think that I don't want to start a conspiracy theory, but
conspiracy theory. But sometimes when you go to the
Spruce Field McDonald's and you ask for extra Galaxy caramel
sauce, they don't always do it. But I'll keep my mind shut.
I think WikiLeaks said it all, but I've got loads of questions
here. Like, as in loads.
Like, I don't know what the reason for us having this many
is, but we have way more than we ever have.
But that's good, so let me just see.
Hang on. Sorry, this is my fault to put a
video in earlier and it's getting a lot of traction, so I
can't actually see the replies. Weird.
Flex 20 of questions. So weird.
Why is there this many? Dez Bennett?
What happens if I smash a mirror before the podcast?
Oh yeah. I said if you replied to this,
you get 7 years. Good luck.
So that's what I need to do from now on.
If you smash a mirror before the podcast is genuinely, you have
to get castrated. And I know that might seem quite
harsh, but it is true. You've got to take yourself to
the vets and you've got to get your Willy and balls cut off.
It's as simple as that. Then you're going to mail them
to me and for the next podcast, they're going to wear them on a
necklace or an ankle bracelet. You decide.
Remember ankle bracelets? I'm pretty sure I had an ankle
bracelet and I'm fairly sure I remember someone in secondary
school had a ring on their second toe in beside the big toe
and said to the lads like, what do you think of this?
And then everyone really took the best out of them.
And then they were like, no, I put this on for a prank.
But everybody, including them, knew that they were wearing it
for a fashion statement. And also maybe that guy was me
still on, but my feet, my toes have grown so I can't get it
off. Imagine you went to the swimming
pool and I was there just like a public swimming pool and I had a
ring on every single toe. And then you said to me about it
and I just got really angry and walked off.
LMJ heard Keith cruises at a retirement after the soccer
School for the Kids videos. Apparently Charterton Athletic
are keen to sign him on a three-year deal for an
undisclosed fee. Can you confirm this or not?
Sure, 100 percent, 100%. Very specific you would pick
Charterton. Athletic for that, I like it.
I like niche football banter, Kasim Ali said.
Kasim, where have you been? My mom?
Because you used to ask a lot of questions on on the podcast and
you've sort of gone away for a while.
Now that I'm into conspiracy theories, I'm putting two and
two together here. And I think you're definitely
involved in, in the carried off, no, not carried off in the
Spruce field Mcflurry conspiracy.
So you got to let me know where you've been, man, Kasim says.
By the way, Kasim, looking at your profile picture on Twitter,
love the jacket. Genuinely true.
He says if Uncle Jack help you off an helped you off an
elephant, would you help Uncle Jack off an elephant?
Now, I don't know if I should get involved with this question
because I don't know if there's some sort of sexual innuendo,
but if a man help me off an elephant, would I then help him
off an elephant? He says hashtag ask Shane the
man AK the man toad. No, the man toad, there's a lot
take in there. I don't want to be called the
mantoad because that sounds like a science experiment that went
wrong and it means I looked like some sort of freak.
If someone helped me off an elephant, would I help them off
an elephant? I think I would say I was going
to, and then I would just run away because I was worried I'd
be trampled on by the elephant because that happens a lot in
certain parts of the world. People get trampled on by
elephants, Gary Fletcher says. Surely it's illegal for a left
midfielder to wear #2 and did I notice you dropping on some baby
oil while playing on Saturday? Yeah, there's basically a
footballer called Adama Triori, a place for Wolves, and it gets
like a physio of the club to baby oil his arms up for a match
so defenders can catch him, which I like a lot.
And yes, Gary, you very kindly stepped up to the plate whenever
I put the greatest tweet of all time out during the week and
said my football team have had a friendly opposition drop out on
us. Does anyone have a team that was
up for a match and you were like, yes, my team and then we
played and the score is irrelevant.
The score is beyond the relevant to the fact to the point that
I'm stuttering. That's how irrelevant it is.
It was 3/1 the one of the teams and that's all there is to it.
And it was probably the team that no one expected to get the
victory. But again, it's not important
who that was. We won, but no, actually, do you
know what? That was the first game we
played all season and it was so good to get playing football.
I don't talk about football on this podcast really, but it was
so good to get playing again and Gary and the boys showed out the
shout at the Broom Hedge Magaberry.
Now Broom Hedge Magaberry FC are the name of the club, but Broom
hedge Magaberry definitely sounds like the nickname of
someone's uncle's friend. I beg Broom Hedge Magaberry.
Why do you call them that? You don't want to know mate.
You know one of those things. But Gary, we appreciated the
game and it was good fun and I think everybody just enjoyed a
bit of time in the sun. Yes, I played left mid and I
wore number two. Reason being manager to start a
season said what do you see yourself playing?
I said right back he goes right, no sweat.
First game of season here. He is left wing and I'm just
happy to be out of the house. So I was like yes, 100%.
And Gary, I think you'll agree I played like a young Lee Sharp.
So I'm happy to play there for the rest of the season if
selected. What I also liked is there was
some fans down, some Broomhedge macabre fans loving it.
So it was a good time. Danny Mcgeehan says favourite
Premier League. Why is this not a football
podcast? Favourite Premier League goal of
all time or just favourite goal of all time?
You can't include screamers. You've scored yourself.
That's not fair. The pros correct Otherwise I
don't want to talk about it, but I would choose the goal I scored
at Seaview against former Northern Ireland international
Premiership goalkeeper and play anywhere I love them from about
50 yards. So my favourite Premier League
goal is Paolo De Canio's sort of scissored volley at a bit of an
angle. That's my favourite.
Just as the Canio was a madman. It was a great goal, Catriona
says. Or Katrina, you know, tomato,
tomato says. How does it feel to be the pride
and joy of North Down? It feels great.
It feels really, really good. You know, a lot of people will
be like, I'm not, don't be silly.
Like when someone gets called a hero, they go, no, I'm not.
I am the pride and joy of North Down, in fact of County Down, in
fact of Northern Ireland, in fact Europe.
So yeah, it feels good. I the love is given back because
I absolutely love N down too, not just the Mike Mcgold look
like show N down. McGoldrick loves N down, but I
even love it more. I love it.
I was back in Hollywood last week for a failed attempt at
doing the podcast and genuinely, I know Mike get covered doing
this, but I kissed every centimetre of pavement on
Hollywood High Street and Hollywood's so well kept that no
joke, whenever it came back out from doing that, my lips were
more moisturised in the world when it went down crisply.
Chris Blakely with mask wearing, no compulsory or people brushing
their teeth, more or less, I'd say way more because you're
going to you're going to get that back.
You know, if you have bad breath, you're going to really
get your own breath wearing a mask.
So I think you got to increase it like I'm a 2/2 day, two
brushes a day kind of guy. Like not just one brush stroke.
Like I brush my teeth in the morning at night, but I might
incorporate a lunchtime brush. M Herody.
Given the current political and economical climate we live in,
great banter. Start to the question, what is
your most listened to podcast playlist or songs in the last,
say, three months? Rolling Stones.
Rolling Stones, Rolling Stones Hamilton soundtrack podcast.
Check out Tim Dillon's podcast, Who's an American Comedian.
That's what I've been listening to a lot recently.
I've started listening to Don't Mug Me off here.
It's either DC Fontanes or Fontanes DC, one of the two.
I've been listening to them. I like the new album.
I think it sounds good and I'm aware they're one of the bands
everybody likes. And so I was like, let me check
them out. And they are actually good
because all the times people like, you've got to like these
guys and then you listen to it and it's not good.
So that's what I've been listening to.
Scott Miller. Where did you get the
inspiration from McGoldrick and Cruz?
The inspiration from Mike McGoldrick.
I've said this before, but it came from working in Royal N
Yacht Club and Cultural. I was a dishwasher there when I
was like 1516 for a couple of years.
I was actually really good crack being from, you know, the other
side of the tracks in Hollywood or whatever, you know.
But Jay, what I was compared to Cultural Yacht Club.
So it let you meet all these larger than life characters.
I've never met like posh people like that ever in my life
before. You know, because.
Despite having probably the golden voice of his generation.
I'm not a posh guy in real life. But you met all these
extravagant, loud character and they're actually really nice
people. A lot of them and some complete
bell ends, but like everywhere, but just all these voices of how
you're doing, how you're doing. I've never heard that before
really. So because it was in my head a
lot years later when I was thinking about comedy characters
and I was in Ned's bar, the Maple Bar in Hollywood, which I
greatly miss and good chatting with a lot of me.
It's not comedians. And I was like, I want to do a
comedy character and Bubba. And then we also just just
started chipping away at this character.
I was like, what about like a N? What about like a Yacht Club
guy? And I just went from there and
we talked about like what way you would dress and all that.
And that's that's where it came from.
The thing we shot the first video the next day, Keith Cruz.
Keith Cruz came from the fact that I love football.
And somebody told me that there was a football agent who's
representing like Premier League players, Scottish Premiership
players, and he's from Belfast. So it came from there, the idea
of like Belfast character who was also like a big time
football agent and then there that guy, that guy I'm talking
about is called Jerry Carlisle. And then I think Jerry might
have got paranoid that I was just like fully taking the piss
out of him. So then Jerry and I got chatting
a bit down the line later and I was like hey man, just need you
to know that I'd never met you. You're like heard you speak or
anything or whatever beforehand. And luckily anyone who knows
Jerry will understand that the 2 characters are not the same.
Jerry's a very respectable guy and Keith Cruz 100% decent.
So that's that's where that came from.
Just the idea that there's a guy involved with the football world
from Belfast. Neil Armstrong showed that the
Neil Armstrong first guy on the moon or second, I don't care.
He says. How did you react when Shawn
Michaels put Marty through the barbershop window and WWF
breaking the Rockers partnership?
I think I said on the podcast not too long ago, I'm not really
into wrestling anymore, but it was back in the day.
That's before my time. So I don't know.
I don't know. Although Marty, because I think
that's Marty Ginetti, but the way you said Marty, it just
sounds like a guy. I mean, if there was an and in
between Shawn and Michaels, it would sound like a hair crime
that goes on in Belfast, a sectarian crime.
Did you hear that Shawn and Michael put Marty through the
barbershop window? That's happened before in
Belfast. 100% Liam. Is Livingston's chances of
staying up Hanford with the departure of Linden Dykes now,
why is this a fit? Why?
I think people think they're
asking questions to Gary Lineker and I, people said I looked like
a young Gary Lenko before, by the way, which I despise that
because he has big ears and loves crisps and I don't have
big ears and I don't like crisps.
So you've asked me this, I think thinking that it's a very niche
question and I won't know the answer but, and I promise you I
haven't looked this up beforehand, Zipper's owner on
this, Scout's owner, whatever paramilitary owner, I'll say
this, Linda Dykes has gone to QPR.
I hope I haven't mugged myself off and got that wrong for maybe
1,000,000 or 2 million or something.
So it depends. And by the way, QPR love doing
that, buying players from the SPL and sometimes works out and
sometimes doesn't. I don't think Lee Wallace worked
out, the keeper isn't starting and they send a defender as
well. It looks like I'm looking that
up but I'm not and I didn't let you see the phone long enough to
see if I was looking it up, but you just need to know that I'm
not. So it depends if they can
replace him, but if a club like Livingston has like 1,000,000 or
2 million to throw about, then it could actually be a good
thing. I don't know.
Don't ask me questions about London Dykes again, please.
Mark McGregor. Will Linfield win tonight?
Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ.
Will Linfield win tonight? I don't know because all their
opponents are dropping out because of COVID and I think
Linfield are going to win the Europa League and they're going
to win the Champions League and the World Cup and the Bread
Awards because everyone's dropping out.
So they're just getting the win. Alicia, any more Mike McGoldrick
videos? The withdrawal is real.
What I'm doing at the minute, Alicia is putting out little
clips from old videos, just like quick clips.
And I'm going to do that for a while because I'm working on a
new series of Mike McGoldrick videos that that's it's going to
be quite different. Mcgole.
I feel like I feel the need to slightly change McGoldrick a wee
bit, maybe to freshen them up a bit, you know, because I, I want
to keep it original, you know. So yes, there will be
McGoldrick. You'll see some old school
McGoldrick coming out, just wee clips here and there and then
you will see like a new batch of McGoldrick videos pretty soon.
But I want to get them filmed properly because I've filmed a
lot of stuff myself in lockdown and it looks kind of shit a lot
of the time, even though it's hilarious.
So I want to get that done properly.
Jesus Christ, Jack Hannah, is it illegal for a centre back to
wear? Number 9 was done watching the
charity match and big pencil, the six foot four machine got
stuck. Centre back was megger twice in
10 minutes. Hashtag big run bags around his
ankles. Yeah, I think despite the fact
that I was running #2 playing left wing on Saturday past
there, I think you should have the correlate number to your
position. O Matheson says.
How do you think you'd get on the standard Octagon fight with
200 toddlers? What would the main method of
attack and how would you be able to take take them down before
they got the better of you? I don't know if you mean
toddlers as in like young children.
Or if you're. Calling my fans toddlers, which
I think we should. In fact we are doing that.
Zippers and toddlers, sometimes zippers on toddlers and vice
versa. But if I was thinking 200
toddlers, I don't know if they have attack mode really.
So I don't think it would be difficult, but Jesus, I don't
know. I think I would play like, what?
They're all in the white noise. My baby isn't really, but
they're all in the white noise to help them sleep.
So I think I'd just walk on some white noise and then just just
go for the pin. Simple as.
I backed myself 100% against 200 toddlers.
Not an issue. Owen Cocky says if tea was made
illegal, what lengths would you go to procure a bag?
Listen I will go to no there isn't the length I won't go to
to procure a bag. You can quote me on that.
How much would you be willing to pay for one tea bag if teas made
illegal? 200 quid, 200 Nope not a bother.
It would have to be a Barry's Cup of tea.
Barry sponsored the podcast for sure.
Not the amusement park. Although if you guys want to as
well the North Coast definitely can't.
In fact anyone sponsored the podcast because they'll be
classic. It'll be like money, £200 but
£200. But then if you said of mid 250,
I would give the extra 50, so probably 250 or somewhere like
£500. No issue there at all.
And by the way, I pay cash, Rory Orkins.
Do you think prime Mike Tyson would knock out a Tiger with one
punch? For some reason I read that as
do you think Mike Tyson would knock out Tiger Woods?
And I would think 100% because I think Tiger Woods was knocking
himself out with all the sleeping pills back in the day,
even though he's knocked all that in the head.
We knocked out a tiger one punch.
Mike Tyson 100% yes, because tigers aren't, they're used to
like pot getting clawed up by other tigers, but I don't think
many of them take a right hook. So yeah, I the way Mike Tyson's
going with these, these exhibition fights at the age of
78, I think you will see this fight at some point.
Scott Miller Would you rather eat chocolate flavoured shade or
shade flavoured chocolate, shade flavoured chocolate because
that's not going to do me any harm.
Although Jesus Christ, it will because I have a dairy allergy
and either way I'm going to be in bad health.
So I just take both. Andy Mark, would you rather?
No, I don't do that question, Andy Mark because it's the worst
podcast question ever and you need to bring back a better
game. Would you rather fight 100 duck
sized horses or one horse sized duck?
No change that. Get a better question in next
week, please. DJ Dixon.
DJ Dixon on the decks, If I've broken a pack of three mirrors
in brackets, smallish, how long should I leave?
And that's Irish or small, how long should I leave the lottery
for? Cracked up my own joke there.
And then Sherry Russell under it, right, To see if you've
actually broken mirrors. So I think there might be a
domestic going on there. I don't believe in all that bad
luck stuff. You break a mirror or whatever.
In fact, I start my day by breaking a mirror over my head
and it's never done me any harm in terms of bad luck.
So I think you'll be sweet. Leave doing the lottery for.
You're never going to win, so just don't do the lottery at
all. And I don't know if the lottery
still costs a point, but if it does, just spend that point on
Mcflurry and ask for extra sauce, Stephen says.
Would a weekly junior football podcast work?
Guess we players managers rest from local leagues.
Do your roundup results, then talk, shake and hear stories
from the guests for an hour. You could get people to send
them clips they have from games too.
Alan Mccolgan, ideal guest, Someone with about 40 years
experience in Clinton. Yes, I think that would be good.
Crack a junior football podcast. I think we're totally alienate
the people that like this podcast.
Well, most of them in fact know because everyone who's written
in this week has written a question about football.
Yes, I think it would be good. And I do want to do a football
based podcast of some sort as like a side podcast as maybe
like a short series. So yes, I will.
I would genuinely consider doing that unless you're saying you're
thinking of doing it, in which case I've just stolen your
ideas. So sorry Jamie Mckevitt, if you
could have 5 celebrities around the table with you for a meal,
who would they be? Probably 5 celebrities.
I don't know off top my head, Harry Styles, Liam Payne's, Ian
Malik, Louis Tomlinson and Niall Horan.
And why? Because that would be so cute
and it'd be a great time and we could talk about just like being
cute young guys. In fact, if all the rest wanted
to go away, just Harry Styles five times over would be great.
Tom Gribbon says. What's the worst gift you ever
received from someone? Yeah.
One year my dad took me to look at scramblers, right whenever it
was about 10-11 years old, he took me to look at scramblers.
And this was like, the week before Christmas.
This is terrible. This is.
I should have phoned the charity with this and he took me to look
at scramblers. He was like, what do you think
of these and all? I was like, they're all amazing.
I really wanted a scrambler even though with hindsight I wouldn't
have liked it because I went to my cousins a few times and I
wouldn't go above 5 mile an hour.
Even though my dad used to be a professional motorbike racer.
But my dad took me to look at scramblers.
I was like, this is brilliant. I think I'm getting a scrambler
for Christmas. Woke up Christmas morning the
next week, my dad got me a pair of scrambler gloves and a box
and I was like OK. And then I thought the scrambler
was outside because all the curtains and blinds were closed.
And then I opened the curtains and blinds and like subtly
because it was like, if he has just got me the gloves, that's
so ship, it'll pretend I like it even if there were good gloves.
And I did enjoy it on cycling my bike around as in my push bike.
And then there was no scrambler. And that was probably the worst
thing that's ever happened to me.
And I just had to go out cycling with my mates wearing these big
massive scrambler gloves. And they were like, why are you
doing this? And I said, well, I've got them
as well, use them. And also I've got a full size
helmet. I didn't get the helmet, but I
got the gloves and that was the worst gift I ever received, even
though I like the gloves. Cheers, Dad.
Kane. Who's the most hateful?
As in the wrestler who's the most hateful Northern Irish
celebrity Money Told isn't getting that Money Told is a big
hit on the showbiz circuit. You guys know I go to all the
Ulster Tattler events and mix it with the Elite.
I'm an influencer. I get a lot of gratification out
of that. You guys know I buy my followers
as well, 100%. If you check my followers, which
you can do to see if someone has bought followers, you'll see
that 78% of my followers are in Bangladesh.
And I'm OK with that because everybody else is doing it, so
why not? And in that you've got a little
bit of satire, a little bit of SAS and a lot of facts.
Because it's happening and I don't know why it's a thing.
Why are people buying followers? Stop buying followers.
Genuinely. You're asking about the worst
gift I've received. There aren't local influencers
and people all around the world when their parents are like what
do you want for Christmas to pay?
Pay like 2000 followers please. It's weird, I think you can
tell. And why are you doing it?
And also it's like is what if we're up for the same job and
that's what it comes down to the amount of followers you've got.
And then I'm like, but why are 87% of this person's followers
in Nepal? And they're like, but maybe this
person is big in Nepal and I'm like, hi, because they host a
local radio show. And by the way, that's not me
looking down local radio shows. I also host a local radio show.
I'm just saying, I don't think I have many fans in the Democratic
Republic of Congo, but all these people do on Spotlight and BBC.
You should do a show about it. And then all these people should
go to Maghaberry, should go with Broomhead Maghaberry.
Matt says, when will you get a listen to the Waffle as guests
on the podcast? Crack will be powerful.
So yes, the Waffle, which is the Irish League podcast.
I'll go in their podcast, but they won't.
They're not coming on mine because Sly.
But also this is not a football podcast.
And a lot of zippers that listen don't like football.
They're like, no, they're like croquet and makeup.
So no, that's not going to happen.
But I'll go on the Waffle podcast no problem as long as
it's over Zoom and we just talk about my goals.
Jack Kor says who'd win the fight between Mike Tyson, Brock
Lesnar, a gorilla, or Tony Carlin?
I don't know who Tony Carlin is, so I'm going for him as the wild
card. Last question, Chris Bailey, I
feel like let's go with a bang. How many Lego can you fit up
your bum? That's a really immature
question. And the answer is the Death
Star. And it is the Death Star.
I don't know. I was never into that as a kid.
There are, and still this. There's a lot of people who
absolutely love doing that kind of thing.
I wonder what I could get as I never had that curiosity.
I put some numb nose once, but that was it.
So that's really it. Chris, I don't know what to tell
you. Folks, it's a shorter.
Podcast this week. We're loving it.
It's all good. patreon.com/tea with me podcast.
I'll have a guest on the Friday podcast.
Keep sipping your tea. Stop asking me questions about
about football overnight. Britney Spears dad hashtag free
me from him. All the best.
Cheers guys.