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I'm Michael. 
Che and I'm Colin Jose, and 

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we've got a little secret. 
Actually, it's a pretty big 

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secret. 
Well, now you got to give the 

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people something. 
I'm not saying a word. 

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Oh, then people will know to 
tune in. 

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Come on, tell them a little. 
Like how we're hosting of comedy

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00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,640
events streaming only on 
Peacock, exactly how it's called

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New York After Dark and it's a 
comedy show that only features 

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drop in comic. 
Boom, you nail. 

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Into Michael Chase phone 
numbers. 

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Whoa, whoa, whoa. 
Hey, hey, hey. 

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New York After Dark. 
It's some kind of comedy thing, 

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and it's streaming now only on 
Peacock. 

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You love it. 
Zippers, welcome to this episode

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00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:40,280
of the Tea With Me podcast with 
me, she and Todd. 

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Before we go anywhere, let me 
plug the Patreon, which is 

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patreon.com/tea with Me podcast.
We'll do a bonus episode on a 

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Monday, live stream episode on 
every Friday at 2:00, and loads 

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more in between. 
Also going to thank everybody 

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that came to the SSE Arena 
shows. 

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Really appreciate it we had a 
nice time and the crack was good

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and look by this point with this
comes out of may have announced 

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a new show who knows we're 
sponsored by as always 

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Thompson's tea those blooming 
Thompson's always making their 

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any time you call for one of the
Tom's show you coming out John 

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play football can't make making 
tea. 

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These guys have been doing that 
since the 1800s. 

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That blows my mind since the 
18th. 

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And it's the same people, but 
they're just fueled by tea and 

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they keep it going. 
Panjana, you know, you think, 

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oh, is that made somewhere 
exotic? 

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It's made in Belfast and you 
don't get any less exotic than 

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Belfast. 
They make decaf tea. 

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Irish Breakfast. 
They've just, they're just 

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running the tea game. 
Northern Ireland's number one 

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selling tea. 
You know, they're the Ogs of 

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tea. 
That's what they call 

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themselves. 
They run a boat like, you know, 

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I was going to say beating up 
the other tea companies that 

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don't do that, but sales wise 
they do. 

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So just keep drinking Punjana. 
We're fueled by it on the 

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podcast and we actually are 
down. 

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We're like, we we could just say
that we actually drink another 

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brand, but we do downstairs, we 
drink pyjama. 

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Yeah, they they gave us a life 
supply. 

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They gave us loads in fairness. 
So we're just going to keep 

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working our way through that. 
And we're also selling that on 

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the side as a wee bit of a 
hustle. 

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So we've got 9000 tea bags, but 
anyone wants to come down the 

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studio. 
We're also sponsored by 

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Manscape. 
Now look, I thought manscaped 

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was just pubes and that's OK, 
That's OK in life if you're just

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pubes. 
But I found out they also now do

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a thing called the foot duster. 
No, yes, yes. 

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A lot of people have bad 
smelling feet. 

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Couple guys in this studio, you 
know, remember, you remember you

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had a sleepover when you were 
like 14. 

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Most most other most other boys 
had smelly feet, but I didn't 

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because I'd be with my feet. 
But Manscaped have the foot 

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duster, which is a foot 
deodorant down. 

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You didn't even know about it. 
You're looking to make sure if 

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it's true, it is Manscaped. 
They're a company for men's 

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growing products below the belt 
mainly. 

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And you know that when 
everything gets below the belt 

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gets a wee bit sexier and 
Manscaped are taken care of. 

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They've got a Cologne, which to 
be fair, you should probably 

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wear above the belt. 
But if you want to wear it below

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the belt, no one's going to stop
you. 

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Manscaped have things like the 
weed wacker from nose and ear 

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hair. 
They've got the perfect 

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performance package. 
Shave your bets. 

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Take care of yourself, for God's
sake. 

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You know Santa's going to be 
coming soon. 

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You know, that's a guy with a 
smooth sack. 

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And I know because I've seen it.
One year when he called Don, he 

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woke me up. 
Sorry for watching here, but but

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yeah, man's gift. 
Have all the men's below the 

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belt room brush. 
We have a discount code which is

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tea with me for 20% off and free
shipping. 

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But yeah, the perfect gift for 
Christmas. 

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Winter is coming. 
And if you are, make sure you 

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look at dinner. 
My guest today is someone who 

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had a gig only last night or the
night before. 

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I described as I brought him on 
stage and said this guy's great 

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comedian. 
He's a good friend of mine. 

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He's the biggest bear in the 
forest, ladies and gentlemen. 

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RAR. 
It's Dave Elliott. 

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Yeah, good. 
It's my bug. 

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That's what you do. 
I just that was such a nice 

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introduction that you startled. 
Me, you're my best friend. 

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Appreciate that slightly. 
There are three other contenders

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in the room you just set up. 
Yeah. 

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What we're looking at, it's a 
couple of top ten guys right 

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here, but but you're top of 
bulbs, you're #1. 

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Yeah, like if Bieber was back, 
would everyone in the room be on

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your Yeah, like we top 16 wall. 
100% well by birds. 

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You got to let them know you're 
kind of interested. 

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So although they're not actually
your best friends, you pop one 

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in there just to be like, 
listen, I've got my. 

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You know it was, do you know, do
you know how you fucked it? 

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You put a girl too high in the 
top 16 and she's like, why am I 

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third? 
Nobody known you for two weeks. 

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And you're like, you know, that 
guy in the main was brains about

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the person, like, oh, it's an 
accident. 

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My sister came in and did it. 
The top 60, like a lot of people

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watching won't know what people 
is people was like before 

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Facebook and Instagram all that,
but you're top 16. 

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You positioned in order of. 
Here's how much I like you in my

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friendship. 
And I mean what I, I still in my

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head to this day, have a Premier
League of people alike. 

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And, and the good thing about it
is like, again, especially when 

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we're children, people are like,
oh, do you have a favourite? 

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I'm like, well, it, it does vary
each day. 

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Like they can do something to. 
To be in that topic. 

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So, so you're, you see your 
friendship group in your head. 

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If you visualise it as a Bebo 
top 16. 

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Yeah, right. 
Like, if I find out, like, some 

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of my friends or like, save 
toxic, I say, you see a story on

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Instagram, you're out for, like,
lunch with, like, Aaron Butler. 

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But I've not heard about it. 
Yeah. 

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You, but that bumps me down. 
I mean, no, I just go, well, 

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there's some sort of dark art 
and deceit here. 

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Yeah. 
Why? 

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Why have you not told me at 
least just tell like I'm a wee 

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bit like a jealous girlfriend. 
At some extent they. 

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Are and you start wearing yoga 
clothes. 

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Yeah, like, I mean, listen, if 
you're going to left the life, 

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dress for the life you want. 
You texted recently and said 

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you, you invested in some yoga 
clothes. 

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And I said, oh, is this 
something you're thinking about 

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getting into? 
And you're like, no, no. 

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Fashion and then award to the 
gig the in fact award before 

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your SSE show and for before you
played the biggest show your 

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life you were more obsessed with
how sweet I looked for change 

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yeah excited. 
I did libraries a few months ago

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and wore a non branded Shikomo 
burgundy. 

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It's. 
Jacamo. 

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Like the people, though, it's 
Shikomo. 

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It's like whenever people say 
little, no, it's little, yeah, 

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you got said you need a wee bit 
of, but that's what people don't

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think You're a Trump, you know? 
Panda Chocolate. 

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Exactly no. 
One said Panda Chocolate. 

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Panda Chocolate, Yeah, that 
sounds like. 

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Panda Chocolate. 
Very cheeky isn't? 

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Man, you need to go around the 
pad of chocolas boudoir. 

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What for? 
Who knows A good time. 

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Did you think it was Panda 
chocolate? 

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No, it's no Pano Pano. 
Pano chocolate. 

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No, it's Pano chocolate. 
Yeah, yeah. 

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Oh well, I think Pano chocolate 
would be bread. 

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Of chocolate. 
Well, excuse him why, but I've 

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made a mistake. 
I mean, I didn't see us going 

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down this. 
What about like? 

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In French, would you learn about
a French in school? 

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And then you think you're doing 
well and they're like, now 

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there's like masculine and 
feminine words. 

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And you're at that point I'm, 
I'm going. 

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I just say it more like a woman.
Yeah, like, so I'm speaking a 

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little bit about you. 
I never say I want Bungie. 

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And they're like. 
That's not how it works. 

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Yeah, I'd like to see you speak 
only exclusively in your 

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feminine French accent. 
I. 

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Think like with English. 
Yeah, like such as now. 

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I mean, it's just a Bungie. 
Don't you miss you? 

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You know, like if you're kissing
like, you know, trying to stay 

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great. 
If you're great, a guy kissing 

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each cheek. 
Yeah. 

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If you're just, you know, 
kissing in the feminine, you 

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neck on. 
I think you and I were probably 

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a little bit more. 
What would you say like, like, 

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like maybe a kiss in each cheek 
kind of guys. 

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And then before COVID and since 
then, we've not really got that 

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back. 
So would you be interested in 

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like? 
Yeah, listen, I'm open. 

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I feel like Master are dropping 
and what's going to drop next, 

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you know? 
Yeah. 

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I, I, when we were doing radio 
show, remember lockdown, like in

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the middle of the lockdown and 
in BBC, it was like, you have to

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walk in within, you know, you 
have to walk. 

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And then I, I couldn't, I had to
wait 10 minutes to walk into the

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same corridor and you had to 
breathe into your shoe and you 

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had the clothes both that 
remember there was like all the 

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safety stuff, walk clockwise and
you know, all this kind of 

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stuff. 
And then we're walking through a

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corridor after a show and I give
you a kiss in the cheek and you 

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00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,919
were like, you can't, don't do 
that because. 

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I just thought of BBC, there'd 
be people watching, you know, 

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because there has, there has 
factually been a time before 

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where I've said something like 
innocuously maybe on a podcast. 

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I thought no one here and they 
were listening in there. 

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They're like, we can't have you 
do this because we heard you say

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something about BBC. 
What would you say? 

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I just made a wee comment about,
you know, something on BBC not 

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being amazing. 
How dare I, you know, and they 

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00:09:01,680 --> 00:09:03,720
were like, we can have you on. 
You slandered us. 

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00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:04,600
And I'm like, well, what did I 
say? 

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And then they said they were 
like, they had like it recorded 

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00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:09,160
on the computer. 
This I said, well, that's not 

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me. 
And what's on your podcast? 

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00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:12,960
Well. 
I could have been a guest. 

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00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,760
You don't have guests. 
Well, yeah, Yeah. 

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00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:17,840
And then they played it and it 
was like, I mean, yeah, what? 

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The thing was up bad. 
And then the guy who played to 

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me is like, well, you're right, 
but just don't be sensible. 

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How naughty would you say in 
general you're on a scale one to

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10 and 10 being really naughty 
and generally or yeah, just 

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generally like and the real I'm 
talking about the real you like 

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00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:34,280
in in how naughty do you think 
you're? 

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00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:38,080
Well, I'm. 
You're naughty like you're 

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naughty, I think. 
Yeah, I mean, I like the, I have

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a problem that if I, if I see 
something, I automatically 

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00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:45,640
think, wouldn't it be funny if I
did this? 

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That's my first thought. 
And then I do that. 

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And sometimes I haven't thought 
it through what I've done. 

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Like, for example, I remember 
once when I was in school, a 

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00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,480
friend of mine, we were, we were
doing art and we were like, 

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whatever I thought DJ and I 
thought to myself, wouldn't it 

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00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:03,240
be funny if I put a bit of glue 
on this guy's hand? 

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00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:06,320
How, how banter am I? 
I didn't realise that the glue 

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00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:07,720
from the glue gun was scolding 
hot. 

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00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:10,360
So I was sitting like putting 
loads of glue on this bit of 

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00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,680
ball. 
So and he was sitting there like

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00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:15,040
this and I went and when I 
lifted it off I took like half 

224
00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:17,760
the top of his hand off with the
two and he had to go to like 

225
00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:19,160
hospital. 
Think the nurse had taken the 

226
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,600
hospital, but I just thought 
that was a bit of banter, but 

227
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:23,800
really I did. 
Yeah, you, you do look like sort

228
00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:25,920
of guy who would do stuff like 
I'm like, I didn't know. 

229
00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,640
But then I do stuff, then I'd. 
Be like you like you. 

230
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:29,920
Kill like 4 people. 
I was. 

231
00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:32,280
Like why be a Dick 4 don't get 
me in trouble. 

232
00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:34,920
Like my hands full Burt my hand 
live here. 

233
00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:38,200
But yeah, I just I can't help 
but I feel like you know you you

234
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:40,680
I like to be a bit naughty and 
then sometimes want to do it. 

235
00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:42,560
People, you can't be naughty. 
What are you doing like? 

236
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:44,840
Do you get to a certain age? 
Do you think you can't be 

237
00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:46,760
naughty? 
I think definitely you get to an

238
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,200
age where you have to be less 
naughty. 

239
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:49,680
Yeah. 
At what age? 

240
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:51,920
I mean, I think I've had 20 age.
Yeah. 

241
00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:54,120
I think the sort of, you know, 
whatever, Pete, like your 

242
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:55,720
friends are all maturing ahead 
here. 

243
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:58,440
They're all because there was a 
period of time before I was 

244
00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:01,440
married for any kids. 
I was like the single one of my 

245
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:04,880
group of friends and I had a 
mate who actually used me as an 

246
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:06,880
excuse. 
He'd be, oh, Dave made me do it 

247
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:08,680
to his wife. 
And then I wondered why his wife

248
00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:09,800
wouldn't speak. 
To me, why'd you kill this 

249
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:10,520
prostitute? 
Yeah. 

250
00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:13,760
It was Dave, but she'd be like, 
I get it was one that he went 

251
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,440
out with a group of workmates 
and Garpsey hammered didn't come

252
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,000
home until like quite late next 
day. 

253
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,400
He couldn't look after the kids.
He's dying. 

254
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:21,080
She's like, you're a disgrace 
and all why'd you do? 

255
00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,640
I was like, oh, hadn't seen Dave
in ages and he told me to, 

256
00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:26,480
whereas I'm sitting all wrapped 
up in bed, you know, and then he

257
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:28,080
rang me next morning. 
Can you do me a solid? 

258
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:31,640
And he's like, oh, Mrs hits me 
and I'd rather hit you than me. 

259
00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:33,600
So because. 
I've known you for so long, but 

260
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:36,120
I only really picture you as 
like a marry guy, like a marry 

261
00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,440
that used to live. 
I remember you used to live in 

262
00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:41,200
the Lisbon Road and have like 
room, like flatmates. 

263
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,360
Yeah, loads like foreign people 
and. 

264
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:44,960
Stuff. 
I mean, I'm an oldest guy. 

265
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,400
I welcome everybody, you know. 
You know, you look at me like 

266
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:48,760
foreigners. 
No, no. 

267
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,800
Yeah. 
No, just with your, with your 

268
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,160
stance. 
I just didn't think. 

269
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:58,920
But yeah, you used to live with 
like I remember there's a French

270
00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:01,080
guy like I was when I just got 
to know you. 

271
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:02,280
Really. 
Eve, yeah, good guy. 

272
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:03,120
What? 
Eve. 

273
00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:07,120
That was his name, Yeah. 
Was he a fan of Banda Chocolate 

274
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:08,760
I. 
Mean he was the fan of 

275
00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:10,240
Babestation. 
I don't know about a pad of 

276
00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:12,720
chocolate, but he definitely. 
Like you didn't give a fuck or 

277
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:15,160
he was no what the. 
Grace Most I went out with my 

278
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,800
housemate who was, you know, a 
local only white guy friend of 

279
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:20,400
mine and and we went we're like,
we're heading to the pub here. 

280
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,480
Dave, do you want to come? 
And he was like, no, miss you. 

281
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:26,640
And I said just call me Dave. 
And we went out and I went out 

282
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:28,480
and I said, oh, bollocks, I 
forgot my wallet like back in 

283
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:29,640
the days when you needed a 
wallet. 

284
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,200
So we went back to get my wallet
And by the time we had left and 

285
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,960
went in in the living room, Eve 
had just dropped to the floor. 

286
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,760
Like he was on the floor, lying 
on the ground. 

287
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:39,800
And we're like, you all right, 
Mitten look at the screen. 

288
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,080
Just Philby upstation. 
So he must have just been 

289
00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:45,480
himself, heard the Dorgo and his
first moves, the dive to the 

290
00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:48,280
ground like so he either really 
hurt himself or was just trying 

291
00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:49,800
to hide it. 
But he didn't acknowledge we 

292
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,720
were there, so he was all right.
I don't think you need a, you 

293
00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:54,520
know, you don't need to hide 
babe station. 

294
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:57,600
No, there's something about 
Babestation that's that's funny.

295
00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,520
Do you know what I mean? 
You get up, you get up. 

296
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,520
Babestation on as ambient, I 
think. 

297
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,520
I don't think it's socially. 
What would have been 10 out of 

298
00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:06,520
10 if you just sitting with a 
cup of tea or something on the 

299
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:08,520
TV, We walked in. 
He's went bourgeois. 

300
00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:11,240
Yeah, there's something 
aggressive about watching the 

301
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:13,720
Pornies with a cup of tea. 
Just watching. 

302
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,920
Just like just watching. 
I was a friend of mine, a guy I 

303
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:16,800
used to work with. 
Right. 

304
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,560
He was telling me a story about 
a mate of his. 

305
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:23,440
They call him Tea and Toast. 
His name's Tea and Toast. 

306
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,080
Why he called Tea and Toast? 
Yeah, but I'll tell you why. 

307
00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:28,200
He said one of one of his mates 
was a window cleaner. 

308
00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:31,000
So he said he went to the Tea 
and Toast house one day and he 

309
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:35,120
was cleaning the windows and he 
just saw in the movie Big Blue 

310
00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:37,400
movie on the screen and he just 
saw his arm going a fucking 

311
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,920
dinger like. 
And he said the weirdest thing 

312
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:41,120
about it as he looked aside. 
He had a big plate of toast and 

313
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:45,880
a pot of tea sit beside him. 
As in ready to have after. 

314
00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:48,320
I don't know whether that or 
some going or everybody said it 

315
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:50,440
was too much toast and too big a
pot of tea. 

316
00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:52,320
So yeah, you're dehydrating 
yourself. 

317
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,600
But he was like, you know, ever 
since he's just been called tea 

318
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:54,960
and. 
Toast. 

319
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:56,960
I think 3 rounds of toast is too
much dope. 

320
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:58,920
Yeah, but I mean, you're 
watching porn like. 

321
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,280
Yeah, but like back in the day 
too, like they're saying it was 

322
00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:04,520
like the videos and also like 
you had to have actually gone, 

323
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,520
called the video, got like you 
got himself ready. 

324
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:07,760
This was an event for him. 
Yeah. 

325
00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:10,760
It was like nowadays you whip 
your phone out and you know they

326
00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:14,360
go well and but. 
You whip your dad's deck out and

327
00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:16,120
then. 
That's fun, all right. 

328
00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:22,200
But yeah, so like back in the 
day, it was a bit of a make a 

329
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:23,520
deal of it. 
You know you got your the 

330
00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:25,120
barter. 
You know you swap your. 

331
00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,760
I remember you remember watching
Euro trash would be in like 

332
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:30,040
this. 
Might be as graphic as it gets. 

333
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:33,640
Yeah, I actually I would be more
of a softcore fan because of 

334
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,960
Euro trash. 
I think like I always enjoyed 

335
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,880
just, you know, a little sneaky 
bit of boob here and then the 

336
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:39,600
full. 
Sneaky boob. 

337
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:40,320
You like sneaky? 
Boo. 

338
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:43,400
Because I mean, I think nowadays
people are spoiled. 

339
00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:46,320
Like you see, it's graphic and 
all people are like putting 

340
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,960
stuff in the people and farting 
stuff out of themselves and on 

341
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:50,480
you're going. 
That's I don't need to see it. 

342
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:53,040
That's thinking, you know, I 
mean, just give us a boob, you 

343
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:55,480
know, and you're happy as Larry.
You sneaky boobs are like, yeah,

344
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:56,960
surprise boob or whatever, we 
thought. 

345
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,880
About it, you know, yeah, like 
highlight, like your trash is 

346
00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:02,880
all about that, yeah. 
I would just love to see you at 

347
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:05,320
City Hall needing some sort of 
like rally where you're like, 

348
00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,920
listen, people are sticking 
things in people out of people. 

349
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:09,920
I like it. 
If you just went really against 

350
00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:11,000
porn. 
I like, you know, the guy who 

351
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,840
got porn banned. 
I mean, but then what would 

352
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,760
happen would be there would be 
some sort of like newspaper 

353
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:18,640
article they get into my 
Internet and then it'd be like 

354
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,880
that Rich isn't. 
It yeah, horny hypocrite front 

355
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:28,360
page of the Sunday War. 
I mean see if you start. 

356
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:32,000
Your 100% look like I do an 
advocate for the ban and a porn 

357
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,720
and then they find out like you 
have some much on your hard 

358
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:36,960
drive. 
Well, I mean, just normal shit, 

359
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:40,080
let me just point out. 
But yeah, more always says it's 

360
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:41,280
more than just a little bit of 
boob. 

361
00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:43,160
Like, yeah, yeah. 
What? 

362
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:47,240
Was the first What do you 
remember the first porn you ever

363
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,920
watched? 
No, I thought. 

364
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:52,720
I thought it would have been 
like I would have seen a 

365
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,320
magazine, probably first I would
have said. 

366
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:58,400
I remember being in a friend's 
house and there was quite a lot 

367
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,000
of us in his house one day. 
Yeah. 

368
00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:01,360
And he had. 
Do you remember? 

369
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:02,600
Did you ever have chip cable? 
Tell. 

370
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,360
No, you didn't. 
No. 

371
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:06,480
Are you scared to say? 
No, I was. 

372
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:10,440
I was well off growing. 
Up Oh yeah but then there used 

373
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,600
to be a guy who could come 
around your house with cable 

374
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:16,000
tell which is like the earliest 
guy Oh yeah and there was like I

375
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:22,400
don't know 100 channels and 
channel 61 and 62 yeah were the 

376
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:23,960
pornies. 
Yeah right. 

377
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:28,160
And I remember where one of our 
mates, there was like 8 of us in

378
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,840
his house just like one 
afternoon and one summer if mom 

379
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:33,680
and dad weren't in. 
And they like you like stuck the

380
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:34,960
pornies on. 
Yeah. 

381
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,680
And I think everyone in my 
friendship group had seen it 

382
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:40,600
before, but I hadn't. 
Someone's like, ah laughing at 

383
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,240
it and stuff. 
I'm like half watching it and 

384
00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:47,920
I'm like, ah. 
And I was very asthmatic as a 

385
00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:49,560
kid. 
And I remember watching it for 

386
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:52,960
like 3 minutes and then really, 
really starting to get a wheeze 

387
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,200
on. 
And then I took my inhaler and 

388
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,120
everyone laughed like I'd done 
it as like a. 

389
00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:59,360
Bit you know but. 
Genuinely, I thought, I thought 

390
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:01,240
I was going to die. 
Yeah. 

391
00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:02,720
Oh, there's more than that. 
What a way to go. 

392
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:05,359
There was more than that. 
I was like, how that's like when

393
00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:07,680
I used to start going on nights 
out and you'd see like, you 

394
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:11,800
know, when you're like 16. 
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 

395
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:16,359
no, no, no. 
That feeling is reminiscent of 

396
00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:19,480
when I started going nights out 
and you would see what about the

397
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:21,079
first time you went a night out,
right? 

398
00:17:21,319 --> 00:17:23,079
Like a Limelight school disco or
something. 

399
00:17:23,079 --> 00:17:25,400
But they used to do school disco
nights when you're like 18 and 

400
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:28,040
you see 2 girls kissing on the 
dance floor and everyone take a 

401
00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:29,160
look at that and you're just 
going. 

402
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,600
I'll be straight on the PSN, I 
get that fucking shit. 

403
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:36,040
The gaol stinking. 
Come on. 

404
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:41,120
You report. 
It like what is it about though?

405
00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:42,720
Especially it was like, do you 
remember though? 

406
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:46,400
It was like the teenage boy's 
dream was like the I started off

407
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,640
the 10 minute Freeview and it 
caught it to five and it was 2. 

408
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,480
So it was like they're really. 
But why was it the most 

409
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:56,320
aggressive, like pets should 
ever say that people are like, 

410
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:57,800
oh, what? 
I was always like the music. 

411
00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:03,920
Don't go me, you fucking slag, 
And I was like, why are people 

412
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:04,960
watch this going? 
That's what I want. 

413
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,760
He goes Oh fucking remember your
ass, like all right, She's 

414
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:09,640
Christ. 
The first time I ever properly 

415
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:14,240
watched it, it was a it was a 
Britney Spears party on like PVX

416
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:17,040
and she was called Pitney Spears
and. 

417
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:19,680
To be fair, that's good. 
I think she was in the recording

418
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:21,600
studio to do Fuck Me One More 
Time. 

419
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,640
And hey, the producer, let's 
just say he did. 

420
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:26,320
Yeah, he did. 
I mean, that's frown upon 

421
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:27,560
nowadays, the music industry, 
isn't it? 

422
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:28,920
Yeah, Yeah. 
Back in those days. 

423
00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:30,800
What is what is that these fears
doing? 

424
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:33,160
Like she turns up the studio. 
She's kind of like. 

425
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,080
I think she's just. 
Bust this thing, you know she's 

426
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:40,240
pretty, but I mean done. 
Speaking of great what The thing

427
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:43,040
is about porn? 
You look like a retired semi 

428
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:46,200
retired male porn star. 
I mean, yeah, I I mean, you 

429
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,000
would, I could well play that 
role until. 

430
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:51,880
It was the guy with the long 
hair, the guy. 

431
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,240
And then it was French. 
Was it, was it, Was there a guy 

432
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:58,040
called Johnny Marino? 
I think he was in a lot of the 

433
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,840
British ones. 
He's a cat dealer from Belfast. 

434
00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:07,200
I mean, Johnny Marino, Johnny 
Marino's coming up to help you. 

435
00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:13,720
More, Johnny Marino was a solid 
left back for Hollywood. 

436
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:16,840
His name was Johnny. 
He just lived across from the 

437
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:21,040
Shell Garage. 
But yeah, could someone, could 

438
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:23,680
someone look up if there is an 
actor called Johnny Marino? 

439
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:26,880
I think he had long hair and he 
was like the Television X 

440
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:36,200
Freeview guy was Johnny Marino. 
I'm talking about the French 

441
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,200
guy. 
I think he went by just one name

442
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:42,800
and he was in some movies, like 
as in like mainstream movies 

443
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,920
cameo. 
He had like long hair and his 

444
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:49,520
house was like he's like a slob.
They were like this Tony. 

445
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,040
Was this in the movie or his 
real life? 

446
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:54,720
In his real life, would you look
up famous French male porn star.

447
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:57,280
You got it. 
Is that Johnny Moreno? 

448
00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:01,000
Johnny Moreno was real. 
That's a stats for Don Della for

449
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:05,440
the season. 
Does he have any like any any 

450
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,160
like what's? 
It dance they play that of his 

451
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,360
movies in he's a popular 
Hollywood actor. 

452
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:10,840
Johnny Marino. 
So he hasn't. 

453
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:15,840
Has he done porn? 
Type Johnny Marino porn in so 

454
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:21,160
you get what is it about porn 
searches too. 

455
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:25,440
They're so basic, you know, you 
pick a person's name on a body 

456
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:28,000
part. 
Search Johnny Marino Web. 

457
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:35,000
Johnny Marino, Me. 
John Marino. 

458
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:38,480
I'll tell you what's the thing I
do enjoy the most about porn 

459
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:44,440
aside from the porn is, is, you 
know, the way they make like 

460
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,480
remakes of Hollywood films and 
they just give them a slight, 

461
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:51,280
like A twist, like a party name.
For example, Edward Penis Hands 

462
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:54,120
is just a guy with two big roots
instead of hands, right? 

463
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:57,480
The best one I ever saw and I 
remember laughing my head off. 

464
00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:00,320
This was the dead of party. 
A man in black that was just 

465
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:08,200
called Man in Black Man. 
I mean, it's better in some of 

466
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:12,440
the actual sequels to be fair. 
Johnny Murray, I like the Johnny

467
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:15,040
Murray was just a genuine actor 
and you've claimed this big porn

468
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,920
star. 
If you were set like back in the

469
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,360
day when you were like a single 
young guy, would you for the 

470
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:21,520
right money, would you have done
porn? 

471
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:23,720
I think anyone would have put 
this out of time. 

472
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:25,960
Yeah. 
Eric Everhart's another one. 

473
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,360
Eric Everhart. 
Yeah, like if he's just a 

474
00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:31,560
regular, like he's neighbours or
something, I mean, but like he's

475
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:35,840
done them again, yeah. 
Yeah, you're like, oh, I knew, 

476
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:40,560
he said Rolf Harris, but he's. 
A dodgy fellow and I, Yeah. 

477
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:42,760
Yeah. 
All the good ones. 

478
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:44,320
Your face, you're like, you 
think you know. 

479
00:21:44,360 --> 00:21:47,040
So all the good ones are dirty 
bastards. 

480
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,200
Yeah, that's true man. 
And but. 

481
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:51,200
The man I'd art attack, he's not
done and has a. 

482
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:55,000
Neil Buchanan, he's clean. 
Well, he's not being all room. 

483
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,280
He'd be when I go on, though. 
Yeah, yeah. 

484
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:00,280
Remember the other guy used to 
do the kids TV shows? 

485
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:01,680
He that killed himself. 
Mark Speed. 

486
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:03,720
Yeah, Yeah. 
Things are tough for him for a 

487
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:04,160
while. 
Yeah. 

488
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,800
Yeah, just so she show you, 
you'll be happy. 

489
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,400
So like, where do you get your 
influences from in comedy? 

490
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:17,920
Is your material like all yours 
or do you? 

491
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:20,400
Yeah, yeah, people say that, 
yeah. 

492
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:21,880
Do you write your own jokes and 
all? 

493
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:25,080
But I mean, some people don't. 
Some people like see other acts 

494
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,000
and just RIP it off. 
Like. 

495
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:32,480
Anyway. 
Yeah, there's a there's a lot of

496
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:34,960
want to chat to you about David.
Yeah, but them. 

497
00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:38,440
But let's start off with this. 
Let's start off with this. 

498
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:43,480
Yes, you have done something to 
me recently. 

499
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,120
I got tagged in an Instagram 
story last night. 

500
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:51,440
Somebody was at a pub quiz and 
in the background I could see 

501
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:53,040
the projector. 
And the question was, who is 

502
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:57,520
this local comedian? 
And it was a picture of me, but 

503
00:22:57,520 --> 00:22:59,880
it's that picture that you 
photoshopped. 

504
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:05,720
So they've done a Google search 
and it's me doing promo pics for

505
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:09,360
Radio Ulster and it's that one 
where you've taken my right eye 

506
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:13,800
and turned it a lot more right 
and you've taken my left eye and

507
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:15,600
made it look a lot more less. 
So subtle. 

508
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,760
That's why it's so. 
Funny, yes, and I bet you people

509
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:20,200
fucking got the answer. 
That's what pisses me off. 

510
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:23,880
The three things I moved the eye
slightly, made the ears a bit 

511
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:26,320
bigger and the teeth yellower, 
and that's all it is. 

512
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,400
But it's enough that like you 
could put it up and unless 

513
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:29,960
you're going, yeah, you wouldn't
see it. 

514
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:31,880
And that's the best. 
But you know, that gets me so 

515
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:32,960
well. 
Like a fucking. 

516
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,880
It was like the Radio Ulster. 
I think it was the last time 

517
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:37,080
we're here. 
We spoke about it, the promo. 

518
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,520
Pickles fingers. 
Get longer every time and you 

519
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:41,240
were sharing it every week. 
Do you know what that is? 

520
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:44,520
Sharing it do that is naughty. 
Yeah, that is naughty. 

521
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:46,160
That's naughty. 
But it was, I'll tell you 

522
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:48,680
something I did that was again, 
we're speaking about naughty 

523
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:52,720
When I was in work one day, it's
a couple of years ago, I was I 

524
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:56,560
got was working with these like 
it's just me and like these five

525
00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:59,880
sort of like 60 year old women. 
So, you know, you know, when 

526
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:02,680
you're around like that, you 
sort of you're like a chameleon.

527
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:06,400
You sort of change your your. 
And I was just the compass most 

528
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:08,760
fun guy to work with these old 
women. 

529
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:10,240
And I would be all. 
Stop it, David. 

530
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:11,520
You're a wee chancellor, not 
you. 

531
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:12,800
Yeah. 
And I was, I guess. 

532
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:14,920
So one day one of them left 
their computer open. 

533
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:16,560
Like. 
So I thought for a bit of 

534
00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:19,440
banter, I would just, you know, 
go in and look something funny 

535
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:20,840
up in Google Images. 
Leave it. 

536
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:22,880
She'd come back and be like, 
what's he like? 

537
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:28,280
So I went then and I typed in 
sexy Asian bodybuilders topless,

538
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:30,600
right? 
So I went then and looked up and

539
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:33,280
just got all these ejaculation 
guys, like topless just on the 

540
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:35,160
screen, locked the computer and 
that was fine. 

541
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:36,720
I didn't realise it was the end 
of the week. 

542
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:40,440
She'd just gone home over the 
weekend, left it on, come back 

543
00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:43,680
in a Monday, open their computer
up and rhyme music. 

544
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:47,520
Did you look up like topless 
Asian guys on my computer? 

545
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:51,280
I was, you know, very obviously 
I went no, no knee. 

546
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:54,200
And she went on though it must 
be a virus, right? 

547
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,080
Well, if it is, that's where 
it's come. 

548
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:05,800
From rather than me go, I was 
very naughty so rather than me 

549
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:08,840
go oh, I was just I let it 
simmer. 

550
00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:10,960
So then she phoned like the help
desk and all. 

551
00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:13,520
And then she was like, listen, 
I've gone out for whatever 

552
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:16,680
reason, it's just popping up 
these naked men on my computer. 

553
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:20,240
And the guy I was like, well, 
what you've done, what's 

554
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:24,760
happened here is you've, you've 
gone into Google and you've 

555
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:28,240
typed in like hot Asian guys. 
And that's why it's there. 

556
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:31,400
She's like no one ever. 
No, she's a wee old woman from 

557
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,840
West Belfast region and no one 
ever didn't know. 

558
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,280
And he was like, well, I'm 
telling you that we've tracked 

559
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:37,680
it back and this is what's 
happened. 

560
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,440
And then she got raised and the 
whole big thing went around to 

561
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:42,760
be like, you have to lock your 
computer for safety and data 

562
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:44,680
protection and all. 
I still haven't told her this 

563
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:45,120
day that. 
Was. 

564
00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:48,280
But The thing is, the reason why
you've mugged her there is 

565
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:50,400
because it's specific. 
Yeah. 

566
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:53,280
If it was sexy bodybuilder guy, 
that's a prank. 

567
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,960
If it's sexy Asian bodybuilder 
guy, that's a kink, you know? 

568
00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:01,400
Oh yeah. 
But yeah, so she doesn't know 

569
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,280
that was me. 
That is kind of mischief. 

570
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:05,000
And like, everyone did that at 
school. 

571
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:06,960
You know what I mean? 
Change the background, do all 

572
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,880
that sort of thing. 
Yeah, the classics and that you 

573
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:13,760
you phoned me during the week 
and said that you like played a 

574
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:16,000
prank on your mom, No. 
And you thought? 

575
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:20,920
Didn't know this wasn't a prank.
This is just bad timing, but it 

576
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:23,800
was it was one of the worst and 
also best moments of my life 

577
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:27,200
simultaneously, like for anyone 
doesn't I was on well last week 

578
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:30,480
like really nearly died in a 
cold and it was the touching 

579
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:34,440
yeah, I got it's a bad cold 
right. 

580
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:38,840
So I'm I had obviously to look 
after the girls because fucking 

581
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:42,800
my kids and all, and my mom and 
dad were like, listen, you're 

582
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:46,000
you, you look really bad. 
Can we'll take the girls for 

583
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,920
you. 
I said no worries, no problem, 

584
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:50,480
thank you so much Left. 
They went come got the girls. 

585
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,400
I was like in a dressing gown at
the door. 

586
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:55,600
How do you go? 
Eric Everhor, Johnny Marino, 

587
00:26:55,600 --> 00:27:00,160
just favourites, you know. 
So they took they took the girls

588
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:01,960
and I was fine, said look, I'll 
come and get them. 

589
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:07,040
So this would be a Friday night.
I went round to collect them and

590
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,480
I went then and both my mom and 
dad were like startled when they

591
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:10,840
saw me and like, you look 
terrible. 

592
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:12,480
I was like, well, feel much 
better. 

593
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:15,080
But then, you know, yesterday my
mom was like, no, you're you're 

594
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:17,320
really pale. 
Like you, you're almost, you're 

595
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:18,320
skit. 
You look like you're dead. 

596
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:19,640
You're dead. 
And my dad was like, yeah, it 

597
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:21,480
looks like it looks like you're 
about to go in the organ. 

598
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:22,880
Feel your mate. 
And I was like, all right, 

599
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:26,000
Doctor Elliot, what the fuck? 
I said, well, feel much better. 

600
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:27,440
You'll get defensible. 
Feeling much better. 

601
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:28,760
And my mom was like, yeah, you 
look bad. 

602
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,440
Like your your skin's pale. 
You're, you're very fat. 

603
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:34,200
Well, that's nothing to do with 
the cold. 

604
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:35,240
That's it. 
She's like, but yeah, I should 

605
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:37,080
do something about it. 
You're jolly and all right, 

606
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:38,400
That's fine. 
Took a. 

607
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:40,480
Girl, take a Turkey. 
Yeah, for the swollen Turkey. 

608
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:48,040
He's like, don't touch me there.
So I I took the girls went home.

609
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:49,680
I was fine. 
Then once the girls were bathed,

610
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,240
put them in the bed. 
I was like, right, I'm still 

611
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:54,840
feeling a bit shit at your show 
to go to the next night. 

612
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:58,000
Didn't want to be sex while at 
the bed like 8:00 so that when I

613
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,640
woke up in the morning, I'd like
messages from a moment. 

614
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:02,320
Dad, are you all right, son? 
Just checking. 

615
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:04,920
You're all right. 
Answer me and missed calls. 

616
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:06,640
Not I was like, Oh no. 
So they're at home thinking. 

617
00:28:07,360 --> 00:28:08,400
I've died. 
They thought you might have 

618
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:10,760
gone. 
I mean, that's a nice way to put

619
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:12,080
it. 
You know, that's another thing. 

620
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:14,760
It's just a side note. 
Seeing people, like when people 

621
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:16,880
he's gone, he's gone home. 
He hasn't. 

622
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:20,640
A big man went home last night. 
They died. 

623
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:22,480
That's why it's a weird thing to
put it, isn't it? 

624
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:24,600
And then for them, I'll be the 
worst, you know, way if like, 

625
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:26,440
you lose your grandparent and 
all people put photos of them 

626
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:27,440
holding their hands. 
Yeah. 

627
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:29,480
Imagine just my big fucking fat 
Trotter. 

628
00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:33,280
There he goes, he's away. 
So yeah. 

629
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:34,840
So I woke up and texted him and 
said I'm fine. 

630
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:37,960
They're like, listen, you're 
still feeling a bit rough, come 

631
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:40,920
around, watch the football, your
dad make lunch, you'll help the 

632
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:42,840
girls a bit. 
So I said that's great, went 

633
00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:45,240
round, watched football, had 
your shoe to go to at night. 

634
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:47,320
So I was a bit rushed and stuff.
My Catherine, my wife was 

635
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:50,440
working. 
So I went home, I got the girls 

636
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:51,520
back. 
Catherine came and I was like, 

637
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,080
have you walked the dog? 
And I was like, no, So amongst 

638
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:56,840
everything hadn't walked the 
dog, still feeling a bit sick. 

639
00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:58,880
So she's like, you need to walk 
him, you need to tear him out 

640
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:01,320
before you go to a show. 
And I've obviously felt bad 

641
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:02,440
again leaving there with the 
girls. 

642
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:05,680
So get ready for your show. 
So I thought, I know my parents 

643
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:07,800
this big field down the side of 
their house. 

644
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:10,560
So go park there, bring a dog 
down, fire a ball for him, tyre 

645
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,440
him out, the happy grand. 
So I'm heading over at my mum 

646
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:16,080
already worrying about me. 
I ring her, I'm like, listen, my

647
00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:18,840
car's going to be parked outside
your house, don't worry, you 

648
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:19,840
know, I'm not coming in or 
anything. 

649
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,240
I'm just there to walk the dog. 
So no, nothing's happened. 

650
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:24,760
There's nothing to worry about. 
Relax, she was all right. 

651
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:27,360
OK, So I go and park the park 
the car, bring the dog down and 

652
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:29,320
fire the ball for him. 
Firing. 

653
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:31,440
He's coming back. 
It's grand and firing again. 

654
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:34,520
He brings me then a fire and 
he's just not coming back. 

655
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:37,680
He's like sniffing around, 
sniffing his bitch, chasing his 

656
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:40,400
tail. 
I'm like, Vinny, come on, 

657
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:42,520
fucking come on. 
Fucking time, Come on. 

658
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:44,560
He's not coming. 
And it's really starting to 

659
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:46,000
stress me out. 
And I'm like, and he's miles 

660
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:47,360
away, so he can't even like just
chase him. 

661
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:49,360
When you do chase him, he thinks
you're playing the game and 

662
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:53,200
nothing. 
And I was like, fuck's sake. 

663
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:56,960
I remember we got a book when we
were training the dog, like part

664
00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:58,600
of it was hard, like working 
recall and stuff. 

665
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:02,040
And in the book it said that if 
your dog's not coming back to 

666
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:06,800
you, if you pretend that you're 
in some sort of trouble, the dog

667
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:09,880
will come and check on you. 
So in similar sort of ways, if 

668
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:12,640
like a bear's going to kill you,
you play dead, the bear will 

669
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:15,240
need you, you know, he thinks so
I thought to myself, I'll 

670
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:17,520
pretend to be, I've got to lie 
down the ground here in my arms 

671
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:19,560
by my side and pretend to be 
dead. 

672
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:26,760
So I lay down the ground facing 
the like face, like flat like it

673
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:30,160
was planking on the ground, bag 
of dog shit beside me and the 

674
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:32,720
wheat thrower at the hand right 
I'm lying there. 

675
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:35,600
As in like. 
Like, you know, the big. 

676
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,800
Falling with it as in like. 
Like, it just looked like, yeah,

677
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:40,520
it was on the ground. 
So I'm lying there, the ground, 

678
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:44,120
eyes closed, and I'm waiting for
the dog to come, right. 

679
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:46,880
And I'm expecting to hear his 
feet coming to check on me. 

680
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:49,840
But there's only sound I hear 
before I hear. 

681
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:56,680
This is David. 
David because my mum, 

682
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,000
unbeknownst to me, when I rang 
her and said I was going to walk

683
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:01,680
a dog, she thought herself 
wouldn't it be nice if I stick 

684
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:03,040
to leading our dog and come and 
meet him. 

685
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:08,640
So she's gone home, stuck to 
leading her dog come down for 

686
00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:15,880
me, walking me and my dog to see
me from about 200 metres 

687
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:20,080
effectively dead. 
She's good. 

688
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:22,840
I don't. 
So I hear my 65 year old mother 

689
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:26,200
Roman. 
And then eventually I was like, 

690
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,760
I'm going to. 
It's two minds to stay there and

691
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:32,080
wait for the dog because I mean,
you have to give a time or do or

692
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:35,880
do a letter, you know, hard to. 
And obviously I wait to push the

693
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:39,160
mouth to mouth and then and 
then, yeah, but that was an 

694
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:43,200
awkward bullet was there, but. 
Oh, that's, that's, that's a 

695
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,080
point where you probably need to
go on a health check when your 

696
00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:49,280
mom thinks you've died over. 
Maybe he's trying to get the dog

697
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:51,040
back. 
Yeah, you know, yeah. 

698
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:56,080
But I mean to be think about it,
it doesn't look like I'm in a 

699
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:58,640
good way. 
Yeah, really. 

700
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:01,280
Still the dog, just around like.
I mean, if you're lying there 

701
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:04,640
with your eyes open, yeah. 
Texting, you know, come on, dog.

702
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:06,440
Johnny Marino. 
It's a fact that you're like a 

703
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:09,640
method actor and you've gone 
face down with the catcher. 

704
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:11,600
But the arms? 
But the arms by the side like I 

705
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:13,840
just, I just set the catcher. 
And the dog. 

706
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:15,560
I don't know why, but you won't 
die. 

707
00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:17,840
You will definitely die with 
your bags around your ankles. 

708
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:19,520
I know I. 
Just know I don't know doing 

709
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:21,800
what but like you'll die with 
your. 

710
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:24,040
Bag, a guy who, when he died, 
was in a similar sort of 

711
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:25,600
physique and looked at me. 
He was Elvis. 

712
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:28,040
Yeah, he's a guy having a 
cheeseburger in the toilet. 

713
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:30,920
Yeah, that's a good way to go. 
That is a good way to go because

714
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:33,360
that you've lived a life like 
that's the way you go. 

715
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:36,520
Apparently too, there's I don't 
know if this is true, I've made 

716
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:37,640
it up, but either way I'm going 
to say it. 

717
00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:40,960
And apparently that one of the 
things you do before you die is 

718
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:44,280
a massive shit. 
Apparently it's your body's way 

719
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:46,520
of just getting it all out of 
you and then you die. 

720
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:48,840
So that's. 
Well, that's no, that's because 

721
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:52,080
you don't want to go up to the 
Saint Peter and the party gates.

722
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:54,240
Yeah, I mean the shape. 
And I'll be awkward, be like, 

723
00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:57,000
he's like. 
You know, here you're going to 

724
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:59,240
bring into heaven. 
You're yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 

725
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:00,720
yeah, yeah. 
You're capsule female, but 

726
00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:04,120
where's the shatter? 
Right under the stairs, mate. 

727
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:07,640
I am. 
I don't even ever play dead, but

728
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:13,320
I do remember the darkest humour
of all time was my my granny. 

729
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:15,760
You know the way when like 
granny's and granddad's, like 

730
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:18,480
your granny's in hospital here 
and you know, we don't know 

731
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:20,880
what's happening but you're like
prepared for it, I thought. 

732
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:21,520
Just for. 
It. 

733
00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:24,240
So like, yeah, so you're like 
prepared for it. 

734
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:27,800
And like I think my granny, 
there was maybe 3 or 4 occasions

735
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:31,120
when she was in hospital and you
were sort of a kid but told she.

736
00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:34,400
Just roll your eyes. 
Here she is 3 or 4. 

737
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:37,240
Times no, no, no again. 
But I mean, like, it's like, 

738
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:41,520
it's tough because as a parent, 
you know, but my dad would have 

739
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:44,280
said things like, you know, hope
she's going to be OK but going 

740
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:47,640
to do all they can. 
And she always like kept her 

741
00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:48,680
humour. 
Up as well right? 

742
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:51,800
Say your dad what a fucking shit
that he's like. 

743
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:55,000
Listen, hope she'll be OK. 
Hope you're all right, but you 

744
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:56,600
know what I mean. 
She might be ready. 

745
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:02,720
So to him, my dad took two of my
cousins of the seer and they 

746
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:06,080
would have been about, I don't 
know, 12 and 13 at the time. 

747
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:10,639
My dad took him up and my granny
was sitting with my Uncle Jim at

748
00:34:10,639 --> 00:34:14,920
the time and and she was sitting
there chatting to him because he

749
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:16,760
was obscene her first year. 
You've got like an hour visit. 

750
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:21,000
Yeah. 
And Jim goes, oh, Dennis is 

751
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,600
coming up with two my cousins. 
Yeah, who can you name your 

752
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:28,400
cousins or the cousins? 
I can't remember so so Jim goes 

753
00:34:28,639 --> 00:34:33,880
Dennis is coming up with two to 
the kids and my granny went when

754
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:36,800
you hear the lift or like when 
you see him like from Don 

755
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:38,400
Corridor. 
She was tell me. 

756
00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:42,080
Yeah, right. 
OK, so she's chatting away with 

757
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:45,760
Jim and then Jim goes. 
I think that's got to him. 

758
00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:49,600
My granny just grabbed the white
like blanket that was on her, 

759
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:51,199
put it. 
Over. 

760
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,080
And said, put your head in your 
hands. 

761
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:55,639
And just lay there. 
And didn't move. 

762
00:34:55,639 --> 00:34:59,440
So Jim was like, by the way, how
sick of him that also he just 

763
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:01,680
was like, all right, well, in 
his hands. 

764
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:04,160
And he said, my dad walked in 
first. 

765
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:11,400
And Jim looked at my dad, went 
no, which is like, horrific if 

766
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:14,880
it's just my dad. 
Yeah, But there's two kids there

767
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:16,640
as well who are coming up to see
their granny. 

768
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:20,560
And they walked in in the first.
Whatever, and then and then the 

769
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:23,160
other one like started like 
nearly cry like it was all quick

770
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:24,680
moment. 
And then my Grammy just like 

771
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:27,120
apparently you could just see 
like the shoulders going and 

772
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:32,160
then she just here's Grammy, 
this is back. 

773
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:35,920
I mean, like, that's sick. 
Yeah, but I mean, this gets good

774
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:38,080
banter too. 
Because even like, and you know,

775
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:40,000
that's, that's like the boy who 
cried wolf. 

776
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:41,880
Because even like at the funeral
I was like. 

777
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:47,400
Yeah, no, that that's to give 
the best banter when people are 

778
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:49,880
really sick and they find it 
within themselves to pull out a 

779
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:50,560
joke. 
Yes. 

780
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:53,280
My aunt was dying of cancer and 
I went to see her one day. 

781
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:55,600
She pretended the book on me 
like she was sitting at the 

782
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:57,800
side. 
And I said, besides, you pretend

783
00:35:57,800 --> 00:35:59,280
the book. 
I like my natural reaction. 

784
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:05,000
I jumped up fucking up, but it 
was good crack I. 

785
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:08,320
I get we I I don't like the sea 
bodies. 

786
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:10,840
Call me weird, but see open 
casket. 

787
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:13,520
Yeah, I don't like. 
It do you like it? 

788
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:15,640
No, because. 
Do you like it? 

789
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:21,080
No, I don't, but like why I 
don't like it is it's it's see 

790
00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:26,560
when you're you're in a live 
person like you like do when you

791
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:29,160
come here to you, you're 
somebody that's very particular 

792
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:30,600
about your style. 
I'm very alive. 

793
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:32,320
Yeah. 
So you're alive and you style 

794
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:35,120
yourself when you're no one else
styles you. 

795
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:38,520
So any time I've seen people. 
And the chocolate. 

796
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,360
But like my my family have died 
and I've seen the coffin. 

797
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:44,200
That's a lot because I love your
mom and dad. 

798
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:47,120
Your family have died. 
You know, when my mom saw me 

799
00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:50,080
die, it triggered a massive. 
And they're all gone. 

800
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:51,080
All gone. 
Yeah. 

801
00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:53,640
I'm like Stalin. 
Once one goes on like that, they

802
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:56,120
know too much. 
So sorry when people in your 

803
00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:57,440
family. 
Yeah, so my point is like 

804
00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:59,800
whenever you're like you do your
own hair, you do your own, you 

805
00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:02,640
shave yourself and all, but when
you die, you go this random dude

806
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:04,080
and the undertaker is like style
them. 

807
00:37:04,240 --> 00:37:07,000
So then they style them how they
kind of wanted to look. 

808
00:37:07,240 --> 00:37:09,440
So any relative of mine haven't 
looked like themselves in the 

809
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:11,680
coffin. 
Like my granddad, he died and he

810
00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:17,040
like he was he looked like me 
little bit balder, but yeah. 

811
00:37:17,240 --> 00:37:20,280
And he just wore a wore a blue 
shirt, right Blue shirt all 

812
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:22,880
time. 
I was him smoke constantly. 

813
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:24,800
I was at when he died. 
He looked like Frank Sinatra. 

814
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:26,960
They'd like like put a hairpiece
on him or something. 

815
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,320
He looked at me 40 years 
younger, porcelain like do. 

816
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:33,560
You know what I'm very like 
relaxed on death, you know, like

817
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:35,720
I'm not someone who like protect
you. 

818
00:37:35,720 --> 00:37:38,680
Like you can't know until you're
like fierce, but like, I'm very 

819
00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:42,080
like laid back about that. 
But you have now made me the 

820
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:46,520
opposite because my main worry 
is that, like, what if when I 

821
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:48,960
die and I'm in a coffin or 
something, what if he, like, 

822
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:51,760
does Mcquiff, the undertaker 
goes how you were just Quiff to 

823
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:53,560
the right? 
I'm like, I don't mean to go to 

824
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:55,280
the left, It's natural, but what
happens? 

825
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:57,680
If he's like, if he just wants 
to comb your hair right back and

826
00:37:57,680 --> 00:37:58,760
it's like, you know, a 
pompadour. 

827
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:03,800
I would honestly like, I would 
hate that. 

828
00:38:04,240 --> 00:38:05,960
True thing. 
And this I remember the time 

829
00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:09,000
being like, what are you doing? 
Well, my granny died like she 

830
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:11,800
had been sick for a long period 
and lost a lot of weight. 

831
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:14,920
So naturally when you're old, 
your skin is not as sweet as it 

832
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:16,520
was cute. 
So whenever she was in the 

833
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:20,040
coffin, like her skit, like her 
smile didn't look like her 

834
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:21,240
smile. 
It was sort of a bit like the 

835
00:38:21,240 --> 00:38:22,560
Joker and a Batman. 
Was like. 

836
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:25,400
But my, I was kind of like 
trying to find another. 

837
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:27,280
You put some fucking cotton her 
cheeks or something like she 

838
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:29,720
doesn't like herself. 
I think that don't worry about 

839
00:38:29,720 --> 00:38:31,080
it. 
And he was going, do you have 

840
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:32,400
any fun? 
Cotton pot or something? 

841
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:34,080
And you're not. 
What are you going to do? 

842
00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:37,360
But. 
See the fat metal cheeks you 

843
00:38:37,720 --> 00:38:39,800
know, because she didn't look 
like herself sometimes thinking 

844
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:42,480
to myself, is he going to try am
I going to watch my dad like for

845
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:45,080
like what someone go and seen 
your mom just fucking sticking 

846
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:48,000
cotton butts in there and. 
Don't talk about the corpse of 

847
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:51,880
your granny and go see someone. 
No, that's all right. 

848
00:38:52,720 --> 00:38:55,400
And then? 
See, you're going down 911. 

849
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:57,720
Is this going to 911? 
Is it the granite? 

850
00:38:57,720 --> 00:39:02,640
No, My other granite died 911 
But just clarify not No, She 

851
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:05,520
died on the 11th of November. 
The 9th of November, yeah. 

852
00:39:05,720 --> 00:39:08,000
But up here, yes. 
Here, of course no. 

853
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:12,240
But she I was a sagging because 
I'm I mean, I don't know how I 

854
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:14,840
should say this because I've 
said this recently and people 

855
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:17,000
like don't say it here. 
And I was like, mate, back to 

856
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:19,560
1940 or whatever. 
I'm from mixed marriage, right. 

857
00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:21,320
So I'm from I go to parole 
funerals. 

858
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:23,800
I go to Catholic funerals. 
I love them both, you know, and 

859
00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:25,240
yeah. 
And why is it every time I come 

860
00:39:25,240 --> 00:39:26,920
in this podcast, we talk about 
funerals and death. 

861
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:27,760
I don't know. 
I don't know. 

862
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:31,360
It's it's foreboding. 
But I am was with my granny who 

863
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:34,720
died 911. 
She obviously had an open casket

864
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:39,440
and she, she just, she just had 
a heart attack and died and fell

865
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:41,760
in a rake in the garden. 
So they're like, she's all 

866
00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:43,800
bruised and all. 
So they had, I don't know 

867
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:45,480
whether to put a teeter over or 
something, but it was. 

868
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:47,760
Not as in she stood. 
She stood on it. 

869
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:49,440
No, she just had a heart attack 
and dropped. 

870
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:51,560
Oh, and fell on a rake that was 
already on the ground now, which

871
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:52,960
was. 
That is like quite a slapstick 

872
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:54,880
way to go. 
It's like you take your final 

873
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:56,360
steps and then stand on the rake
and. 

874
00:39:56,360 --> 00:40:00,200
Then I'll be Mr. Bean. 
But yeah, so she like had to 

875
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:01,640
like put a sheet over her and 
all. 

876
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:02,600
It was very pretty. 
Sad. 

877
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:06,160
Yeah, Mr. Bean, like I Oberon 
Atkinson, that eventually dies 

878
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:08,480
in a funny way. 
Yeah, You know what I mean? 

879
00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:10,880
Like something just. 
And he falls off a building like

880
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:12,360
the start of Mr. Bean. 
You're like. 

881
00:40:13,240 --> 00:40:15,280
Nice. 
Remember the I remember watching

882
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:19,280
the episode of Mr. Bean where he
needed to paint this flat and he

883
00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:21,960
couldn't be bothered like paint 
on the walls and then a couple 

884
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:24,240
of coats. 
So he covered everything in 

885
00:40:24,240 --> 00:40:27,400
newspaper and set off like a wee
bit of an explosion, white 

886
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:30,120
paint. 
And I used to watch Mr. Bean and

887
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:31,720
go. 
But what is the what is the 

888
00:40:31,720 --> 00:40:34,360
problem with that? 
Yeah, what's the issue? 

889
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:36,760
No, Mr Mr. Bean was great. 
And what's what's great about 

890
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:40,240
Mr. Bean is now there's a 
cartoon series so I can like my 

891
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:42,520
my daughter watches. 
Mr Mr. Bean is one of the 

892
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:45,440
funniest things that like Mr. 
Bean is also funny all around 

893
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:46,200
the world. 
Yeah. 

894
00:40:46,240 --> 00:40:48,120
Like he's popular in, like all 
different players. 

895
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:49,760
Like they'll be Taliban guys 
right now. 

896
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:51,520
Yeah. 
Sticking a bit of Bean on. 

897
00:40:52,720 --> 00:40:55,120
IS he's universally brilliant 
because he doesn't speak very 

898
00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:57,880
much and he just gets into 
hello, hello, hello. 

899
00:40:58,840 --> 00:40:59,680
You know, we should start doing 
that. 

900
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,080
The stand up, The universal 
stars. 

901
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:04,080
But do you remember, you ever 
remember the time? 

902
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:06,440
I don't know for what reason, he
was like a DAB&Q or something 

903
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:09,280
doing some DIY and he couldn't 
fit all his gear into his Mini. 

904
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:11,600
So he like he was driving as 
many on the roof. 

905
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:15,080
No, he bought a seat, so he's on
top of the seat like a mop and 

906
00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:17,280
he was driving people like 
what's been out there. 

907
00:41:18,720 --> 00:41:21,840
What about the swimming pool? 
And like the kids egg them on 

908
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:24,760
the off the top diving board? 
And he, you know, he was like 

909
00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:29,440
that, like Mr. Bean is. 
And in the movie, remember the 

910
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:32,640
movie, he was working in an art 
gallery and he like there was 

911
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:35,200
the famous painting and there 
was something on it. 

912
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:38,200
And he like spits on a hanky and
then he starts to reckon he has 

913
00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:40,600
to replace it and. 
Can I just say I think you've 

914
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:43,440
done the most unbelievable full 
circle here because, you know, 

915
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:46,840
Mr Bean's holiday when he's 
like, run the boat with a wee 

916
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,280
boy and there's a woman who's 
like his love interest in it. 

917
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:52,880
You know, she, I think her 
name's Emily de Koon, who is 

918
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:55,640
Antoine de Koon's daughter, the 
host of Euro Trash. 

919
00:41:56,720 --> 00:41:58,120
What about that? 
There we go. 

920
00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:00,040
Mr. Bean and Euro Trash have 
some of that. 

921
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:01,920
I mean, by the way, I'd like to 
see. 

922
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:05,640
Mr. Bean, imagine what she's 
like. 

923
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:08,200
Can you look up if there's a Mr.
Bean porn please? 

924
00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:11,360
As in a party. 
Yeah, I said I mean, or if just 

925
00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:14,320
ruin Atkinson sex David watch 
either, but imagine. 

926
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:17,200
Flicking the Mr. Bean. 
Mr. Bean. 

927
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:28,480
Yeah, but imagine. 
Mr. Bean got her butt all takes 

928
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:31,560
place in a mini. 
Imagine the high jinks that the 

929
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:35,040
publish he create cure stick 
goes up. 

930
00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:43,120
Teddy tags in, when he comes he 
just goes. 

931
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:48,000
Can you imagine the facials of 
Rowan Atkinson doing a sex 

932
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:52,280
scene? 
Mr missed her bane. 

933
00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:56,000
That's enjoyable. 
Please, please see if this 

934
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:57,520
exists. 
If there is a Mr. Bane. 

935
00:42:57,520 --> 00:43:00,360
I don't think there will be. 
I don't think there will be. 

936
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:04,200
Well, I mean, he's checking on 
it. 

937
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:06,840
Love that. 
Yeah. 

938
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:08,960
And Big Show coming up next 
month. 

939
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:10,200
Big shooter. 
Yeah. 

940
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:11,720
And can we talk about like 
career? 

941
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:14,000
Yeah, we can. 
We can talk about anything you 

942
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,400
want. 
You're jacking it in, not 

943
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:17,960
comedy, but like you're 9:00 to 
5:00. 

944
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:19,480
I am, yeah. 
I'm called full time. 

945
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:22,560
Full time funny man just. 
Full time funny man, full time 

946
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:24,240
dad, full time career community 
worker. 

947
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:26,400
Yeah, all in one eye. 
So. 

948
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:29,400
But like, that's a that's a big 
move, yeah, to leave the 

949
00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:31,880
security of a job and go into 
the. 

950
00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:36,600
The Hahab is into the end of the
lols here, so we'll see, but I 

951
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:39,080
just sort of figure that there's
no time like the present in the 

952
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:40,720
middle of a global pandemic. 
The. 

953
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:41,920
Why not Jack? 
Of the job. 

954
00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:43,920
And why not a? 
Couple of kids house, mortgage 

955
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:46,120
fuck up. 
Yeah, come and tell me tales. 

956
00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:47,840
Yes, do. 
You think some people will think

957
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:50,000
you just go to like a joke shop 
every day? 

958
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:54,520
I don't I don't know, because 
what's funny in in my day job, I

959
00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:57,160
would work with like a lot of 
communities and stuff and when 

960
00:43:57,160 --> 00:43:59,000
times people go, I heard you're 
a comedian. 

961
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:01,360
I and I'd be like, yeah, go, 
you're not funny, mate, you're 

962
00:44:01,720 --> 00:44:04,400
fucking boring. 
I'm like, yeah, what do you 

963
00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:04,920
want? 
Me to yeah. 

964
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:07,320
You're at these community 
meetings about funding, mate, 

965
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:10,040
and you're bringing no punch 
lines to it Yeah, you're just 

966
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:11,280
telling us about ways to get 
funded. 

967
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:12,000
Normal. 
Yeah. 

968
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:14,400
And I was like, well, yeah. 
And what do you want me to do? 

969
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:16,960
Like come in and be like, oh, 
tell me jokes? 

970
00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:18,920
No, like I'm. 
It's called being professional. 

971
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:21,400
Yeah, no. 
As the time starts taking 

972
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:24,400
towards me leaving, well, I 
start throwing in a few hijinks.

973
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:26,920
Very possible. 
It's a couple of weeks, couple 

974
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:28,520
of weeks away and then yeah, and
you're going to do it. 

975
00:44:28,720 --> 00:44:31,080
Yeah, and it's exciting, but 
it's also equally terrifying, 

976
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,720
too. 
You're taking a like a year, 

977
00:44:33,720 --> 00:44:36,240
year off, but. 
I don't want to go back. 

978
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:37,440
That's what that's what I'm 
saying. 

979
00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:41,800
Are you treating it like a year 
off or you in your head going 

980
00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:44,400
I'm just. 
I just got a new sky contract 

981
00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:47,880
for 18 months so I'm at least 
I'm at least to present to be 

982
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:51,120
not just got getting the sports 
package and cheaper Internet, 

983
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:52,840
but I'm. 
Going, I thought you would. 

984
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:54,960
This is your way of dropping 
that you've got an exclusive. 

985
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:58,600
That's my what I want to do 
without is me. 

986
00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:02,040
Like I don't want to not be at 
work before the bloody animus 

987
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,600
guy contracts up. 
So at least you know, 18 months.

988
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:07,200
So if a lot I need to be doing 
to be. 

989
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,720
See, when you do full time, all 
you do is in the morning you go 

990
00:45:09,720 --> 00:45:13,040
to the joke shop, see what they 
have a ham buzzer. 

991
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:14,800
Yeah. 
Are you like in the joke shop or

992
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:18,800
all the other me? 
Mickey and Colin meet up every 

993
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:22,200
morning and Jimmy Crockett and 
go to the joke shop and. 

994
00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:24,320
This time ever come in or Tim 
McGarry? 

995
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:27,560
Is he too busy I pedalling gear?
He's yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 

996
00:45:27,560 --> 00:45:28,800
He's too bad. 
I forgot that. 

997
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:31,000
That is the showbiz feud that 
just will not go away. 

998
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:32,320
Yeah. 
You and Tim McGarry. 

999
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:34,960
Yeah, but listen, you know I he 
calls Beers Beard. 

1000
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:42,320
Call Tim. 
Do you know what's really sound?

1001
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:45,480
There was a there's a comedian 
that's home for a while and he's

1002
00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:47,880
going to do the podcast, but he 
can only do today. 

1003
00:45:48,240 --> 00:45:49,240
OK. 
And I was like, should have 

1004
00:45:49,240 --> 00:45:51,480
moved things around. 
And then we're like, no, we'll 

1005
00:45:51,480 --> 00:45:53,560
just keep it to what it is. 
Pretty sound. 

1006
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:54,440
And. 
Who? 

1007
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:57,080
Who is it? 
Can't say, can't say. 

1008
00:45:57,080 --> 00:45:58,840
Can. 
You tell me. 

1009
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:02,360
All fair. 
I just give you a major clue. 

1010
00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:06,160
Oh, I know exactly who it is. 
Yeah, yeah, that'd be a great 

1011
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:07,760
episode, but hopefully we can 
get him again. 

1012
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:10,120
Just go go to see him if you're 
kicking about. 

1013
00:46:10,240 --> 00:46:12,840
Do you have any like? 
That was a really good clue by 

1014
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:14,200
the way. 
Very good clue. 

1015
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:18,960
Do you have any ambitions, 
specific ambitions with stand up

1016
00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:22,680
in the next year where you'd go 
that would, is it all like 

1017
00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:25,360
financial? 
Not not financial as in like 

1018
00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:28,160
that's obviously not why you're 
doing it, but do you have like a

1019
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:31,600
barometer of success where you 
go in the next year? 

1020
00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:35,240
Or if I can do that, that'll let
me know I can keep doing this 

1021
00:46:35,240 --> 00:46:37,280
well. 
I've I'll sort of look at it 

1022
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:41,760
like, umm, like McCall or Tell 
is the Arsenal manager right he.

1023
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:43,640
You want to be the Arsenal? 
No, soldier. 

1024
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:46,800
So he's basically he started and
he's shit. 

1025
00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:49,520
Yeah, for a good bet like. 
But he keeps saying trust in the

1026
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:50,360
process. 
I know. 

1027
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:51,840
What's called Everyone's lagging
him. 

1028
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:53,240
Yeah. 
And he's like, no, no, you'll be

1029
00:46:53,240 --> 00:46:54,240
all right. 
I'm kind of like that. 

1030
00:46:54,240 --> 00:46:56,680
I'm like, I don't quite know 
what my process is yet, but I 

1031
00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:58,840
trust in it and I'll make it and
make it work. 

1032
00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:01,080
So the thing I keep forgetting 
about is the fact that I'm doing

1033
00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:02,800
the Ulster Hall. 
So like you're trying to 

1034
00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:05,880
function in all your like what 
they need during here, what they

1035
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:07,480
need during there. 
And I keep forgetting I'm 

1036
00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:09,160
playing a theatre like in a 
month. 

1037
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:13,920
So that'll be a nice weak start.
And for me in terms of that is 

1038
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:17,240
the see, we'll see how it sells 
this year, how the show goes 

1039
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:20,040
again. 
I might, may or may not do it 

1040
00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:23,360
again next year. 
And just make sure that it's 

1041
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:25,040
either at the same level or 
above. 

1042
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:28,400
So to keep it being steady, 
because I think sometimes it's 

1043
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:31,400
you have to do things in a 
steady manner right as well. 

1044
00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:33,520
And and. 
Would you consider bringing like

1045
00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:36,760
wires and incorporating wires 
into the shoe like next year? 

1046
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:39,280
Oh, that's. 
I mean, this year I'm coming up 

1047
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:43,200
from under the stage, fire away 
like elevator thing to enter. 

1048
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:45,440
Next year might get lower. 
Oh yeah, actually, no. 

1049
00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:48,600
Because I was like, why? 
I've done the overall? 

1050
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:50,160
Why I never been told that's an 
option? 

1051
00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:53,440
Yeah, I mean, it probably is. 
No, like if it was me the thing 

1052
00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:57,440
would like it would not come up 
for ages and people would have 

1053
00:47:57,440 --> 00:47:59,440
stopped the plot and then it 
would take me too high up. 

1054
00:47:59,520 --> 00:48:02,880
Then you just beat your head up 
and you have to do the whole 

1055
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:04,880
show like your podcast logo you 
like. 

1056
00:48:09,720 --> 00:48:13,040
All right. 
But I know you're like, that's 

1057
00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:17,240
the thing. 
See with with your show and like

1058
00:48:17,240 --> 00:48:17,840
it'd. 
Be better. 

1059
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:20,480
Just head. 
Any big show though, like they 

1060
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:22,720
ask you, they basically you can 
do anything. 

1061
00:48:22,720 --> 00:48:24,880
You can cover the whole back, 
you can we can paint the whole 

1062
00:48:24,880 --> 00:48:27,720
place, but then they're like, 
we're going to take all that out

1063
00:48:27,720 --> 00:48:28,960
of your money and you sort of 
go. 

1064
00:48:29,720 --> 00:48:32,200
Yeah, you go. 
Listen, I've got a concept for 

1065
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:33,920
this. 
I want to see some wood 

1066
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:37,560
panelling behind me. 
I want like a brick stage and 

1067
00:48:37,560 --> 00:48:39,760
all this. 
It's the week of the show and 

1068
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:42,200
they go, that's three grand and 
you go, we'll see. 

1069
00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:44,240
Whatever way it normally is, 
Have it, have it. 

1070
00:48:44,240 --> 00:48:46,360
Yeah, have it that. 
Can you put a light on me? 

1071
00:48:46,720 --> 00:48:48,000
Yeah, we can do a light. 
Brilliant. 

1072
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:51,600
When does this episode go out? 
Will this be out after you do 24

1073
00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:54,040
last SSE show? 
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

1074
00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:56,720
We talk about the big baby 
costume because that was a lot 

1075
00:48:56,720 --> 00:48:59,360
of fun. 
So for anyone who was at the 

1076
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:02,000
show, you'll know. 
And if you weren't your Judas. 

1077
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:06,120
But the way my show finishes is.
Basically, is there a way that 

1078
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:08,960
you can, like Don can stop 
people who don't go to your live

1079
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:12,080
show from listening to the. 
Tune we're working on that. 

1080
00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:15,920
So see at the end of the show I 
talk about my baby being really 

1081
00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:20,040
big in the show when he was born
and you come out as my son at 

1082
00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:23,320
the end of the show. 
So many people said to me after 

1083
00:49:23,840 --> 00:49:26,600
like you're terrible bastard, I 
thought you were bringing your 

1084
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:31,280
stomach like so many people did.
But I've watched the show back 

1085
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:35,360
from the first one at this point
and the pop would not happen 

1086
00:49:35,360 --> 00:49:37,640
just. 
Class, Well, I mean, do you ever

1087
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:39,320
come up with like stuff in your 
head? 

1088
00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:40,840
You're like, would not be funny 
if this happened. 

1089
00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:43,880
When I said you should get 
someone coming to, I didn't 

1090
00:49:43,880 --> 00:49:44,840
think. 
You suggested it. 

1091
00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:46,120
But don't think it's going to be
me. 

1092
00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:47,560
And at times it's be good 
banter. 

1093
00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:51,160
Then, as you're dressed as a 
giant baby, stand behind a 

1094
00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:54,280
curtain going. 
I'm about to leave my job and 

1095
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:56,840
try to become a credible 
comedian. 

1096
00:49:56,840 --> 00:49:59,360
You're a triple XL adult baby 
costume. 

1097
00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:01,840
I'm actually. 
Not a triple XL. 

1098
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,920
Let's tell people it's a women's
called woman's a woman's costume

1099
00:50:05,240 --> 00:50:07,320
because they only have the way 
they only have and it's a weird 

1100
00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:09,400
it is a very Northern Ireland 
dynamic, to be fair. 

1101
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:12,480
And a male female couple that 
like an old older man will be 

1102
00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:14,720
like a wee where we small or 
medium and the moment will be 

1103
00:50:14,720 --> 00:50:16,200
like a 24. 
I get. 

1104
00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:19,440
So that's a big Belfast like 
hookup style. 

1105
00:50:19,440 --> 00:50:22,600
So I was wearing like a size 20 
women's baby costume. 

1106
00:50:22,680 --> 00:50:25,120
Surreal moment where like, 
you're backstage, but walk out 

1107
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:28,600
at the SSE Arena, yeah, to close
a show and you're like, yeah. 

1108
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:32,360
We do you do think that in your 
head you go I'm actually going 

1109
00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:37,400
to the SSE here. 
First time ever on stage yeah, 

1110
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:40,040
yeah. 
What this to carry? 

1111
00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:42,000
But it was good. 
Fun. 

1112
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:43,520
You started talking to me during
it as well. 

1113
00:50:43,520 --> 00:50:45,720
Like, obviously, like the 
adrenaline of the show. 

1114
00:50:45,720 --> 00:50:47,960
At the end of the show, I'm 
like, that's the biggest show 

1115
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:49,600
I've ever done. 
And like, you're coming as baby.

1116
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:52,200
And then at one point you were 
just like chatting and I was 

1117
00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:55,680
like, what the fuck off? 
Because we like, I didn't think 

1118
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:56,640
it. 
Was we sort of heard what we 

1119
00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:58,280
were going to do and you were 
like, you want to and I was 

1120
00:50:58,280 --> 00:50:59,680
like. 
I was just making noises. 

1121
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:03,760
I was like Johnny Marino, like 
Mr Bing, like this. 

1122
00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:06,360
But yeah, it was, it was, it was
great. 

1123
00:51:06,720 --> 00:51:09,920
It was fun. 
And what is your opinion? 

1124
00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:13,520
Haven't played Ulster Hall where
I'm playing as a venue to 

1125
00:51:13,520 --> 00:51:15,920
perform in. 
Haven't played Waterfront and 

1126
00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:18,280
SSA. 
What what are the pros and cons 

1127
00:51:18,280 --> 00:51:20,040
of of each? 
Is there one of the three that 

1128
00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:22,360
you go? 
I prefer it as a strictly from a

1129
00:51:22,360 --> 00:51:24,680
standard point of view. 
I prefer doing or. 

1130
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:28,280
From a standard point of view, 
Waterfront, yeah, Waterfront 

1131
00:51:28,280 --> 00:51:32,720
because it's bigger than the 
Ulster Hall. 

1132
00:51:33,720 --> 00:51:38,840
Like the Ulster Hall is probably
more set up for stuff to happen 

1133
00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:41,280
in the middle of the hall. 
Yeah, like a box, like. 

1134
00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:43,680
Because I, I think that's 
original, not what the venue is 

1135
00:51:43,680 --> 00:51:47,040
built for, but that's like what 
it's really known for was these 

1136
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:49,040
big boxing shows the. 
Orchestras and the Music and 

1137
00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:51,400
the. 
Orchestras, the Conlins are 

1138
00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:53,680
doing bringing boxing back 
there, which is unreal. 

1139
00:51:53,680 --> 00:51:54,960
Actually promote my show as 
well. 

1140
00:51:54,960 --> 00:51:56,080
They are. 
Yeah, making changes. 

1141
00:51:56,080 --> 00:51:58,120
Is there an undercard of your 
show just like Scraps? 

1142
00:51:58,120 --> 00:52:00,200
Just there's, I don't have an 
opener, just a bag of matches. 

1143
00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:01,240
Yeah. 
And then me so. 

1144
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:04,360
Like that'd be part for the 
middle of the theatre and then 

1145
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:06,600
you haven't people round up and 
then the balcony here looking 

1146
00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:09,640
down at that, like that's that's
what that's meant for. 

1147
00:52:10,720 --> 00:52:12,120
And I've had real good shows 
there. 

1148
00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:15,520
But I think Waterfront, even 
though it's more people feel 

1149
00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:18,600
more intimate because you're on 
stage, it goes up quite high, 

1150
00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:21,240
but they they're quite, they're 
in close to you. 

1151
00:52:21,720 --> 00:52:25,160
And I think the the atmosphere, 
the acoustics are better on 

1152
00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:27,480
Waterfront. 
And it's just, that's the one 

1153
00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:32,400
where I was like, yeah, this is.
But I think the show was was 

1154
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:36,520
better in SSE for me. 
And you know what, I've 

1155
00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:37,960
announced already what I'm doing
next year. 

1156
00:52:38,160 --> 00:52:40,680
I think by this time I'm doing 
Opera House next year. 

1157
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:44,520
And that's not like I never 
really like the more people come

1158
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:47,120
and see you, the better. 
But I don't really get like, I'm

1159
00:52:47,120 --> 00:52:50,200
not about what's the biggest 
venue I can do. 

1160
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:54,840
I did SSE out of curiosity, and 
I actually find it more intimate

1161
00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:58,920
than I thought. 
But Opera House, all price is 

1162
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:01,080
all price nearly the same size. 
The Ulster Hall. 

1163
00:53:01,080 --> 00:53:04,800
So I'm going way back to do 
hopefully like multiple shows 

1164
00:53:05,240 --> 00:53:07,440
and it's just to do a different 
venue. 

1165
00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:09,320
I like doing that. 
I like going around different 

1166
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:10,480
places and seeing what it's 
like. 

1167
00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:13,760
Because I did like the 
waterfront in terms of the setup

1168
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:16,560
for stand up, Yeah, I nearly 
fell off the the balcony and 

1169
00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:17,400
died. 
Should have been pretty 

1170
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:19,720
traumatic on. 
During my show, at what point? 

1171
00:53:19,720 --> 00:53:21,320
Because I had to go, I had to 
go. 

1172
00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:23,640
Back to like. 
I'd be like Travis Scott. 

1173
00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:27,440
Like honestly if you fell over a
balcony I'd be like who the fuck

1174
00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:28,800
you used to tell me to stop 
doing this show? 

1175
00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:31,120
Honestly if you fell off the 
balcony and died at my show I 

1176
00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:32,680
would think you were a selfish. 
Bastard. 

1177
00:53:32,680 --> 00:53:34,880
Sneaky big. 
I'd be like, fucking drag him. 

1178
00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:38,400
Let's get a lot of guys. 
Let's drag this guy out the 

1179
00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:39,880
fucking freight. 
But little. 

1180
00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:42,880
Bit the last time I wanted to 
show Waterfront I was sat in the

1181
00:53:42,880 --> 00:53:46,400
wings drinking 10s of cider and 
I like it was very loud. 

1182
00:53:46,720 --> 00:53:49,280
This time I wanted to go into 
the audience and actually watch 

1183
00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:53,120
and I enjoyed it enjoy a lot. 
Again, probably for me I have 

1184
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:57,720
seen most of your stuff from the
SSE show so you know like the 

1185
00:53:57,920 --> 00:54:00,480
but I hadn't really seen or 
remembered a lot of stuff from 

1186
00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:02,920
the Waterfront show. 
So it was like nice to just go 

1187
00:54:02,920 --> 00:54:05,000
back and see the whole show. 
And I thought as a show it was 

1188
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:07,160
cracking for the SSE show was 
great as well. 

1189
00:54:07,400 --> 00:54:10,520
But just for me, haven't seen so
much and gained so much with 

1190
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:12,400
you. 
It was nice to just almost be a 

1191
00:54:12,920 --> 00:54:15,360
fan for the night there, yeah. 
Because that's what I'm going to

1192
00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:15,960
do. 
Your show. 

1193
00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:20,840
I'm going to probably watch from
the side as you walk on. 

1194
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:22,560
I want to be standing with you 
as you walk on. 

1195
00:54:22,600 --> 00:54:23,880
Yeah. 
And then I'm going to go sit in 

1196
00:54:23,880 --> 00:54:25,640
the audience somewhere nice. 
Yeah, no, I think, I think 

1197
00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:27,760
that's a good way to do it. 
You can't gauge really from the 

1198
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:30,000
side of stage, no matter how 
good or bad it's going. 

1199
00:54:30,240 --> 00:54:32,240
You don't know until like you're
in where the audience are. 

1200
00:54:32,240 --> 00:54:34,400
It's like a thing I like today. 
If I was watching you, I'd like 

1201
00:54:34,400 --> 00:54:38,200
to see you do your show from 
like an audience point of view. 

1202
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:40,320
And then if you're doing to, I 
like to watch and see how the 

1203
00:54:40,320 --> 00:54:42,600
Crowder respond to as well, just
to see. 

1204
00:54:42,600 --> 00:54:47,400
It was so hard, like with SSC to
know how it was going. 

1205
00:54:47,640 --> 00:54:50,320
Yeah, until it was about halfway
through it and it was like this 

1206
00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:53,520
grid, but like you're you're 
just working the audience, 

1207
00:54:53,520 --> 00:54:56,560
you're working the remote to see
how do you do this? 

1208
00:54:56,880 --> 00:54:59,480
And then so I know for this 
week, which will already have 

1209
00:54:59,480 --> 00:55:03,160
happened, and I'll know a couple
of things, like, weird on that 

1210
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:04,120
laugh. 
Yeah. 

1211
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:06,800
Because that's a great thing. 
Like Waterfront, so big. 

1212
00:55:06,800 --> 00:55:08,480
But the laugh comes back to you 
pretty quick. 

1213
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:10,960
Yeah. 
Because of the acoustics, SSE is

1214
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:13,600
always a far bigger space, 
higher ceiling. 

1215
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:16,200
So it almost comes back to you 
in a wave. 

1216
00:55:16,360 --> 00:55:18,000
Yeah. 
So you got to, like, trust that 

1217
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:19,120
the laugh is coming. 
Yeah. 

1218
00:55:19,360 --> 00:55:22,080
And it's probably no point, not 
one second for the laugh to come

1219
00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:23,960
back. 
But when you're up there, it 

1220
00:55:23,960 --> 00:55:25,760
feels like 5 seconds. 
Yeah. 

1221
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:29,240
And how unnatural is that? 
And stand up to Alive for 

1222
00:55:29,240 --> 00:55:32,240
Silence to wait for the laugh, 
because then you're like, what 

1223
00:55:32,240 --> 00:55:33,920
if I wait for it? 
And just you know what? 

1224
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:36,560
In real time, this is how I 
think it's going, blah, blah, 

1225
00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:38,240
blah, blah. 
She fell out of the bath. 

1226
00:55:41,360 --> 00:55:43,120
And that you know, but it's not 
that. 

1227
00:55:43,120 --> 00:55:45,640
It's not that size at all. 
Yeah, no, it was when I was 

1228
00:55:45,640 --> 00:55:48,880
doing Laverys last night. 
I did it a bit and you know, 

1229
00:55:48,880 --> 00:55:51,200
when, just when our reaction 
from somebody hits you really 

1230
00:55:51,200 --> 00:55:52,880
weird. 
I was talking about final lump 

1231
00:55:52,880 --> 00:55:55,840
in my testicles and I went a 
final downstairs thought it, you

1232
00:55:55,840 --> 00:56:00,240
know, might have been cancerous 
and some guys on his own. 

1233
00:56:00,240 --> 00:56:01,440
I was like. 
He loves it. 

1234
00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:03,440
All right, man. 
Yeah, what's what's the point? 

1235
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:06,520
Whereas if I was in the in the 
big venue, I don't wait 5 

1236
00:56:06,520 --> 00:56:07,880
seconds for that. 
They'll probably be away. 

1237
00:56:07,920 --> 00:56:10,080
But what's this guy? 
This guy. 

1238
00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:11,680
He'd follow you to every show 
now, but. 

1239
00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:14,560
What I what I did think was 
interesting about SSE 2 is like,

1240
00:56:14,560 --> 00:56:17,920
because of the lights, it was 
almost like like a black box 

1241
00:56:17,920 --> 00:56:20,320
theatre in many respects because
you could only maybe see a few 

1242
00:56:20,320 --> 00:56:22,000
people. 
So it was, it's probably good 

1243
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:25,040
because you have your R Darn. 
You can just deliver your R 

1244
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:28,000
whereas like I think somewhere 
if you can see people in 

1245
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:30,320
temptations to maybe have a 
better crack of them and they 

1246
00:56:30,320 --> 00:56:32,080
think, oh he's my mate now and 
you know. 

1247
00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:35,240
SSE do a brilliant job because 
when I first heard about this is

1248
00:56:35,240 --> 00:56:37,880
an option to do big theatre 
shows there because it's not the

1249
00:56:37,880 --> 00:56:41,280
full If anyone thinks it's not 
the full arena, it's half it. 

1250
00:56:42,880 --> 00:56:45,960
But they do make it feel 
actually like a theatre because 

1251
00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:48,280
when I first heard about it, I 
thought that's going to be just 

1252
00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:50,920
like cut the venue in half and 
then that's it. 

1253
00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:53,840
But they the way they configure 
it, the way they light it, the 

1254
00:56:53,840 --> 00:56:56,600
stage, it is perfectly. 
Yeah, it's really this. 

1255
00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:59,480
Class, but I don't know, like I 
said, you as well, but doing 

1256
00:56:59,480 --> 00:57:04,360
like the like year after next 
maybe I'll do a real small venue

1257
00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:06,800
and do like a long time. 
Yeah, I don't know. 

1258
00:57:07,720 --> 00:57:09,360
Yeah. 
Well, you just, you gotta keep, 

1259
00:57:09,920 --> 00:57:12,560
I think if you do the same venue
every year. 

1260
00:57:12,560 --> 00:57:16,120
Yeah, there's like nothing. 
You need to have some form of 

1261
00:57:16,120 --> 00:57:18,280
progression, otherwise it'll be 
steel for you. 

1262
00:57:18,280 --> 00:57:20,080
It'll get steel for people. 
Yeah. 

1263
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:22,000
You know, if you keep doing the 
same venue, you know, obviously 

1264
00:57:22,240 --> 00:57:25,600
say for me, if I sell X amount 
in Ulster Hall, then next year I

1265
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:27,840
maybe want to come back, try and
fill out or whatever that is. 

1266
00:57:27,840 --> 00:57:29,880
So again, as long as there's 
some form of progression. 

1267
00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:32,360
What would be your? 
Like. 

1268
00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:38,320
Don't give a fuck. 
Dream show to do as in like no 

1269
00:57:38,320 --> 00:57:42,360
barriers you can just do it. 
Don't need to be realistic, you 

1270
00:57:42,360 --> 00:57:46,320
just be like, that's what I 
would love to play. 

1271
00:57:46,440 --> 00:57:48,880
Honestly. 
I. 

1272
00:57:49,480 --> 00:57:52,360
I don't have any goals that far 
ahead yet. 

1273
00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:56,600
For me, it's like I just need to
make what is happening now work 

1274
00:57:56,600 --> 00:57:59,560
for me because again, I've been 
in stand up now for a long a 

1275
00:57:59,560 --> 00:58:01,400
long enough time to know what 
works for me. 

1276
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:04,280
But then again, I'm getting the 
wage in every month, so I know 

1277
00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:06,480
what that works. 
So for me, it's just, you know, 

1278
00:58:06,480 --> 00:58:11,680
being able to, you know, live 
comfortably and be able to do 

1279
00:58:11,680 --> 00:58:13,360
bigger and ultimately each show 
at each time. 

1280
00:58:13,360 --> 00:58:16,760
So for me at this moment, Ulster
Hall, that is I'll be I'm sure 

1281
00:58:16,760 --> 00:58:18,240
afterwards I'll reflect on that 
and go. 

1282
00:58:18,240 --> 00:58:21,680
That's a big achievement for me 
to play a room in the size and 

1283
00:58:22,120 --> 00:58:25,040
then just try to keep, you know,
make make sure that sure that 

1284
00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:27,160
people have come to show be like
I have to come and see him 

1285
00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:29,440
again. 
The shows, you know, that funny 

1286
00:58:29,440 --> 00:58:30,480
that I have to come and see it 
again. 

1287
00:58:30,480 --> 00:58:34,200
That's effectively I've got I 
have the most couple of goals 

1288
00:58:34,320 --> 00:58:35,840
the. 
Shows in the next Would you say 

1289
00:58:35,920 --> 00:58:38,320
it? 
Yeah, because why not like it? 

1290
00:58:38,360 --> 00:58:41,160
And if it don't happen, like, 
oh, you said you want to do it 

1291
00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:43,280
like I know I want to. 
Do one of the best things ever. 

1292
00:58:43,280 --> 00:58:45,760
Few wasn't a few years ago we 
had chat and I was like what's 

1293
00:58:45,760 --> 00:58:47,200
your goal? 
You're like one hour and 

1294
00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:50,760
1,000,000. 
In a year, because I know this 

1295
00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:53,400
was like this was not like two 
or three years ago, this was 

1296
00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:56,400
like 7 years ago. 
We were like we should write 

1297
00:58:56,400 --> 00:59:01,080
down goals for the next year and
one of mine was earn £1,000,000 

1298
00:59:01,080 --> 00:59:05,720
in the year. 
It's fair to say, it's fair to 

1299
00:59:05,720 --> 00:59:15,240
say that I maybe didn't make I 
was maybe about 970 grand off it

1300
00:59:15,240 --> 00:59:15,800
or. 
Something. 

1301
00:59:16,800 --> 00:59:23,800
More my goals would be eh, 
honestly and not in any order. 

1302
00:59:24,120 --> 00:59:26,560
I want to do a show. 
Sea park outdoor and Hollywood 

1303
00:59:26,560 --> 00:59:28,080
done. 
Sea park playing fields, big 

1304
00:59:28,080 --> 00:59:33,600
outdoor show during a summer? 
Yeah, outdoor thing. 

1305
00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:38,920
Then all three are a door. 
Actually I want to do a Bell 

1306
00:59:38,920 --> 00:59:45,240
Sonic, I want to do Ormo Park 
and the other one is I want to 

1307
00:59:45,240 --> 00:59:49,280
do Kingspan Stadium. 
They're all. 

1308
00:59:50,080 --> 00:59:53,640
Achievable again, summer events,
outdoor. 

1309
00:59:55,080 --> 00:59:56,960
Yeah, that's, that's what, 
that's what I'd like to do. 

1310
00:59:57,680 --> 00:59:59,480
Yeah, no, they're all achievable
goals. 

1311
00:59:59,480 --> 01:00:00,720
And now you've said it's in the 
ether. 

1312
01:00:00,840 --> 01:00:02,960
You know, people nowadays are a 
big believer in that, that you 

1313
01:00:02,960 --> 01:00:04,920
once you said it's a good vibes.
Yeah. 

1314
01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:07,160
We need to get into all that 
shit because we're not into all 

1315
01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:10,600
that crystal progression. 
No, no, no, like well, self 

1316
01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:13,160
development, progression, 
visualisation. 

1317
01:00:13,160 --> 01:00:15,480
Said it'll happen. 
Yeah, we need to get into that 

1318
01:00:15,560 --> 01:00:16,960
hype. 
You know, we need to be like, 

1319
01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:19,360
hyped about things. 
A lot of people are hype guys, 

1320
01:00:19,360 --> 01:00:23,080
whereas it's like I believe I I 
think I'm AI would I would argue

1321
01:00:23,080 --> 01:00:25,800
that I'm both a glass half empty
and a glass half full guy. 

1322
01:00:26,080 --> 01:00:28,320
Like, I'll be positive about 
certain things, but then other 

1323
01:00:28,320 --> 01:00:30,800
things will be like national. 
Yeah, people be be like the 

1324
01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:32,800
maximum you, be the you you've 
always wanted to be like. 

1325
01:00:32,960 --> 01:00:35,800
Why the fuck would I be the me 
I've always wanted to be to be 

1326
01:00:36,160 --> 01:00:38,680
Harren. 
Yeah, I'm just see. 

1327
01:00:38,680 --> 01:00:41,040
The way some people like they 
get all hyped up about 

1328
01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:43,000
everything. 
Sometimes I think, well, I'm 

1329
01:00:43,160 --> 01:00:44,480
you're going to come and see me 
be funny. 

1330
01:00:44,520 --> 01:00:46,880
Like that's it's not, it's not 
like a stand up. 

1331
01:00:46,880 --> 01:00:50,280
It's, it's not a, it's not a 
life altering experience. 

1332
01:00:50,280 --> 01:00:53,400
You're not. 
We're not like, yeah, it's like.

1333
01:00:54,520 --> 01:00:56,360
Oh my God. 
Like, you know, those guys come 

1334
01:00:56,360 --> 01:00:58,520
with the preachers. 
They're like, I'm going to suck 

1335
01:00:59,040 --> 01:01:00,800
the demon out of you, brother, 
honey. 

1336
01:01:00,800 --> 01:01:03,640
And these people like, oh, God. 
And it's not like that, you 

1337
01:01:03,640 --> 01:01:06,040
know, you come to my shows, you 
have a wee giggle. 

1338
01:01:06,040 --> 01:01:08,200
You go as a good time, mainly a 
few drinks. 

1339
01:01:08,200 --> 01:01:10,760
That's a lot of fun. 
It's not like we're not on like 

1340
01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:12,960
I'm not on a cult leader. 
Yeah, yeah. 

1341
01:01:13,080 --> 01:01:14,200
That wants to make. 
It silly. 

1342
01:01:14,240 --> 01:01:16,040
It's just silly. 
Like stand up, silly. 

1343
01:01:16,080 --> 01:01:18,320
But listen, if people want to 
get hyped, they won't get jacked

1344
01:01:18,320 --> 01:01:21,480
and I'm pumped by all means. 
17th of December, Black eye 

1345
01:01:21,480 --> 01:01:23,000
Friday. 
I mean should have thought about

1346
01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:24,520
that one and booked them come 
out. 

1347
01:01:24,840 --> 01:01:26,960
Let's let's have a dig a match. 
Let's watch some. 

1348
01:01:26,960 --> 01:01:28,960
Call. 
You know what we should do as an

1349
01:01:28,960 --> 01:01:30,960
audience? 
We should, after you finish, 

1350
01:01:31,200 --> 01:01:34,120
rush the stage and beat the shit
out of you for Black Eyed. 

1351
01:01:34,120 --> 01:01:35,640
Friends, I mean, that's that's a
clip. 

1352
01:01:35,640 --> 01:01:39,400
It's insensitive nowadays to be 
urging people to do that. 

1353
01:01:39,480 --> 01:01:42,400
Yeah, what I would say, unlike 
some other performing arts, I 

1354
01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:46,640
will have PSNI, I'll have event 
SEC, I'll have security. 

1355
01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:48,200
If you come near a stage, you'll
be teaser. 

1356
01:01:48,640 --> 01:01:52,000
There'll be more event. 
Shot, shot. 

1357
01:01:52,080 --> 01:01:53,840
I'm just say, listen, don't 
worry about a teaser. 

1358
01:01:53,840 --> 01:01:56,760
Shoot people and none of this, 
you know, in a way now it's like

1359
01:01:56,760 --> 01:01:58,320
you shoot the Kelx. 
If you're missing the IT could 

1360
01:01:58,320 --> 01:02:01,240
be dramatic. 
Bring back a good old days. 

1361
01:02:01,280 --> 01:02:04,600
Shoot people out of the 
paramilitaries work on my show. 

1362
01:02:05,960 --> 01:02:08,840
Ladies and gentlemen, you're 
like Sinatra with a mob at you 

1363
01:02:08,840 --> 01:02:11,400
in the UV. 
What the good thing about it is,

1364
01:02:11,400 --> 01:02:14,360
because I'm a Wii mixer, I love 
her as well. 

1365
01:02:14,600 --> 01:02:22,080
I love the UDAUVFRALVF, you know
Ogden Heron in LA, All the boys 

1366
01:02:22,360 --> 01:02:24,800
come all together. 
All the boys come together and 

1367
01:02:24,800 --> 01:02:26,320
have a laugh. 
I think I'll learn. 

1368
01:02:26,400 --> 01:02:29,360
Played for Holly fucking Mickey 
Mourinho or? 

1369
01:02:30,280 --> 01:02:36,320
Olga Heron and Johnny Marino. 
Clip up over the paramilitaries,

1370
01:02:36,320 --> 01:02:38,640
guys. 
Thank you very much for 

1371
01:02:38,640 --> 01:02:40,560
watching. 
Listen to this episode. 

1372
01:02:40,920 --> 01:02:44,520
My guest is the on what's on 
something flappable, 

1373
01:02:44,520 --> 01:02:47,080
unflappable, unflappable. 
Dave Elliott. 

1374
01:02:47,240 --> 01:02:50,920
The unlistenable unwatchable. 
The chocolate panda himself, 

1375
01:02:50,920 --> 01:02:54,800
Ulster Hall, Big guy loves it. 
Yeah, thanks for watching 

1376
01:02:55,320 --> 01:02:58,000
Manske. 20% off Free ship and 
patreon.com by the way. 

1377
01:02:58,520 --> 01:02:59,840
If people want this is not a 
thing. 

1378
01:02:59,880 --> 01:03:02,400
I don't know if you find this, 
people are like how do I get 

1379
01:03:02,400 --> 01:03:05,040
tickets to your show? 
What you can do is my name is 

1380
01:03:05,040 --> 01:03:07,320
Dave, Dave Elliott. 
You type it in the Google with 

1381
01:03:07,320 --> 01:03:09,480
Ulster Hall and then he gets 
there. 

1382
01:03:09,680 --> 01:03:12,880
And then once you finish doing 
that, Johnny Marino or Mr Bing, 

1383
01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:14,560
look for them both and have a 
good time. 

1384
01:03:14,640 --> 01:03:16,240
Yeah. 17th of December, Pillow 
Talk. 

1385
01:03:16,600 --> 01:03:21,160
Brother, I'll be there. 
Or be square, yeah.