I'm Michael Che. And I'm Colin Jose, and we've
got a little secret. Actually, it's a pretty big
secret. Well, now you got to give the
people something. I'm not saying a word.
Oh, then people won't know to tune in.
Come on, tell them a little. Like our hosting of comedy
events streaming only on Peacock, exactly how it's called
New York After Dark and it's a comedy show that only features
drop in comic. Boom, you nail into.
Michael Che's phone numbers. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey.
New York After Dark. It's some kind of comedy thing,
and it's streaming now only on Peacock.
You love it. Zippers, welcome to this episode
of the Tea with Me podcast. With me, she and Todd.
Before we get into it, got a guest interview today.
Before we start, let me plug our sponsors kicking off with
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They're the family behind Panjana.
They've been making tea since the 1800s, which is crazy that
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How much? All my twat.
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Very small glasses, very small, quite far down the nose.
Fucking hate those guys. Keep drinking banjana.
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It's a stupid way to do it and he needs to stop.
He needs to stop. You know, there's all different
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So like he'll, you know, tie a little bit of string to his
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Also going to plug Patreon which is patreon.com/tea with me
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Monday. On Friday we do a live stream
and there's all exclusive kind of stuff.
And the last thing I have the plug, I can see dancer stressed
in case I don't do this is our new mugs.
Now that's a big mug, right? I don't have small hands.
That's massive hands and that's a big, strong, sturdy mug.
We spent a long time getting the prototype right and these are
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description done, we'll put the link in the description for
these brand new mugs. Now that's out of the way,
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Can I go home now? What long was that?
They're sick. My guest who seems to not take
pubic hair seriously. Can I just say this is a lovely
cup of Barry's tea? Barry's the finest tea in
Ireland. Tea loving.
The Barry family there. No, if you start, if you start a
tea based podcast sponsored by Barry's, it's going to be war.
My guest today is a returning guest.
The last time we did this was over Zoom in the middle.
Oh yes, in the middle of the bedroom.
Back in those you what? It was in my bedroom.
Oh, were you? Yeah, I didn't know that.
That's a very sinister element to it.
What? I only saw your top half.
I presume there was nothing on the bottom.
There was absolutely nothing on the bottom, you know, I was
looking at my nether regions and going do I need to shave this or
do I need to trim this or does the future time?
It's a future view I fellas. Like maybe we just let it go.
No. No, let it go, let it go.
Whatever colour grey down there, whatever hats, just let it go.
Let's do a live sharing and we'll put it on our patrol page.
There's a website for everybody. Tim McGarry is my is my
returning guest. Tim, I said it to you before you
came in here. You're the 1st guest that has
got to the studio on time in the right place.
Everyone just rings. Me made them in the middle of
Hollywood somewhere. I have to walk down and meet
them. But that's experience because
you just, you knew where we were.
Yeah, I didn't even use a sat NAV.
You told me it's at #10 High Street.
So I looked for number 10 High Street and.
Yeah. The number There's numbers in
the doors. And beep out our address and in
case we. Get murdered.
How stupid are your guests if you had on this?
Too many dimension, Too many dimension.
Tim, we're back out. You know, we're not doing Zoom
stuff. Are you still doing anything on
Zoom? I hate Zoom.
No. We're hoping Blame Games back in
November and we're hoping, hoping against hope we get a
live audience into the studio because we did a couple of
series with the Zoom audience and so.
How was this explaining how that works?
Because wasn't there like an audience in a cinema or
something? That that was, we did a pilot,
we did a pilot episode to see how it worked and we had 90
people in a cinema who were watching it live and then we
could hear their so they were watching it live and laughing
and we're recording them and then feeding it back to the
studio. Did it work?
It did, except there was a 2 second delay.
So you made a joke dictating fuck, that joke hasn't landed.
And then I'm all right, I'm all right.
So it was it was quite weird, you know, because you know the
way you're, you see, you make a punch line, you go, well, come
on, come on, react here. What the fuck?
It was a bit strange, but it did
it worked. It actually, you know, we kind
of got used to it and then we weren't allowed in the centre in
the cinema anymore. So we only had a, we had a very
tiny sort of with a few volunteers basically sitting in
a room beside the studio who helped out laughter.
And then the Zoom audience would about 3 or 400 people on the
Zoom. But you can't get a react
because everybody's picking their nose or you know, they're
not, some of them are muted and all of that.
It's all a bit strange shows, but it was like doing a podcast.
That's the only way we could do it was to go.
There is no audience here. There is no energy here.
Well, we. We have an audience here.
He's called Tony. He's Tony just said no, he's
good. He's a great audience member.
He's Tony looking guy. His laugh.
There is it. Come on, Tony, no pressure.
How? Weird.
Is it doing like the likes of a comedy show?
Like Blame Game to to no audience.
It's horrible. It's the end.
It really is awful. Do you feel like you burn
through stuff quicker? Because obviously when the
audience are laughing, yeah, you're pausing and that sort of
thing. And you know, you know, there
are jokes that you'd write that are better than other jokes.
And yeah, this is going to, this is really going to hit them.
You know, they're like that. We bet there.
And we're here to get this bit. And there's going to be and
there's, there's and your heart just stinks.
You go my best bet. See, see, like, I don't know
whether it was 10 years ago or more.
Was there, am I wrong? Was there a time when you
weren't the host of the blame game?
And then there was this huge public thing of like, were
rioting, get him back in the blame game because it was guest
host, right? Yeah, well, thanks for bringing
it up. It's a very, very sore point.
It's kind of one of those moments in my life that I really
don't want to talk about because it's really quite hurtful.
And it was exactly 10 years ago. It's the anniversary and I was
sacked for no particular reason. But no, there was no public
outcry. It was just that all the the the
ones they had were a bit shit. No, there was a public outcome
there there. There genuinely was because I
remember there was like a Facebook.
It was like a whole Facebook campaign of like, get him back.
Well, I certainly didn't start that.
OK, no, that wasn't me behind that and my phone.
No, I it was it was they just wanted to mix it up a bit and
they they looked at have I got News for you and thought this is
a brilliant idea. We'll get guest hosts like Have
I got news for you do. And the only point is this is
Northern Ireland, not London, where you can get a listers
doing nothing. 30 and we end up with me Mcveberry junk.
But it ended up just being like people's uncles, you know?
It's just like Lambert, but yeah.
No, but I mean, I love somebody when I was stating that was
great. Anytime I rate because their
Twitter accounts really good. Have I got news for you?
And anytime I read any of their tweets, which are jokes all the
time, Yeah, I hear it in Angus Deaton's voice and like, you're
the blame game in my head. You know what I mean?
Well, that's very kind of you. But eventually they they saw
their way back and let me back after, I think it was about a
year or so, they did a radio series with me.
William Crawley did some and it's quite funny speak to speak
to Neil and Colin Murphy about William Crawley, who just kind
of said, you can't say that that's that's not true.
And they go, yeah, it's a joke. It's not Talkback where you're
allowed to say things that aren't true.
If we if we Fact Check people's comedy and stuff, you would
never want to say. There's woke and there's fact
checking as well. Yeah, Jesus.
So how many? You've been doing the blame game
for like, what, 15 years? Typhoo.
Actually, no, that's what it. Is Typhoo?
I forgot to call them. Sorry.
Blame game. For how long?
15 years? Oh.
God, it could be. Yeah, Yeah, it could be.
Yeah. Something like that.
It's got to tell you. My my wife.
I love my wife. The bits, obviously.
Where's this going? Never listen about the four.
Never. Never let your wave get involved
in your career. I was.
I was asked to do a pilot by Jackie Hamilton on a Monday
night. So he said, oh come, somebody'd
fall night, will you do this Wii Radio pilot for me and my wife
said, Jackie, Jackie Hamilton needs you, get you to come down
to the club all the time and all of that.
Sure, he probably won't even pay you and all that.
I said, no, I'll do Jackie if you ever go down and do this.
We we radio pilot and it was a radio pilot for the blame game,
as was the very first version of it.
And there was a pilot done. And then there took a few years
before it became proper radio series and stuff.
So my wife always said, all right, OK, Thirteen years later,
he said never give me any advice in my career.
Do. You know who, out of interest,
You know who was supposed to do it?
Yes, it was supposed to be Dennis Murray.
Bizarre because it started off as a kind of serious, quasi
serious, not quite a comedy show.
It was kind of Dennis Murray was supposed to do it, see a
journalist or something. Or Dennis Murray, the political
correspondent for BBC Northern Art.
You don't know who Dennis Murray is.
I feel bad. Apologies all the Dennis Murray
fans out there. Right.
Yeah. Dennis Murray.
Yeah, kind of well, toward always.
He's got quite a Troubles journey, but he's a Troubles
journalist and all that. But he's a pretty serious heavy
hitter. And then there was a crisis
happened in the peace proof, somebody gets shatters on me,
you know, Northern Ireland, and he decided he couldn't do it.
I have a feeling tend the way things have worked out I feel.
You might have done it, yes I was going right doing drive by
shootings and the waifors go don't bother ours but this isn't
going nowhere way so blame game. Stupid name anyway.
I remember because the blame, like I think I just started
doing stand up when the blame game started.
Yeah, probably like that year, probably 14-15 years ago.
And it was like the thing that as a comedian you wanted to be
because you were all stand ups. So it was like this is stand ups
doing jokes on TV. Well, I'm not.
I came in a different way. I do a better stand up, but I
came out from it from a different angle.
But yeah, initially it was quite structured and there were rounds
and all sorts of things and there were, you know, past the
buck and there was a music round.
And then this is the early stages.
I took a couple of series before we got the what's the point of
this show? The point of issue is wanted
talk about the news and comedians be funny about the
news and take all the crap out of it and go right, Have four or
five topics and go right. Who's to blame for them this
week? And then it's a free for all.
Basically somebody starts it off, does a couple of minutes
and then it's a free for all. And it works a treat because
it's it's simple. You've been doing a couple,
you've been to recordings and you've been on it.
So we record for about an hour and 1/4 an hour and a half and
cut it down to how far and people are the thing, things.
You get all the flipping time. Is it prepared?
Well, it's TV, of course. There's a bit of preparation.
You have to prepare. But nobody knows what anybody
else is going to say. They don't know my script.
I don't know what Neil Delamere is going to say.
Column. Everything comes on the back of
Neil Delamere and everybody chips in and stuff.
Yeah. So there is spot.
It's it's preparated. It's prepared to a certain
extent. You have to have some.
Yeah, but not the point. Where it's obviously like having
done the Radio One, it's not. Scripted.
No, but it's not just like well my but just scripted.
The links are scripted because the cameraman I'm going to this
part and then I'm going to but if you didn't.
Structure in a way surely that that recording will go on for
five hours 5. Six hours and it would, yeah,
wouldn't be funny. But I, yeah, I did the Radio 1
and I didn't have a good one. And I was supposed to do like a
bit. I was like, you know, because
you'd probably sit down and go, who's got a thing on this?
And I remember going, I've got a thing on this and I think my
thing was on Conor McGregor. So it was like, and I never done
a panel show. So quite nervous.
And you were hosting and we did it in QFT, might even.
Cure. Some cure was a bank or
something. No, it was in Belfast and it was
just not like the the audience just weren't for some reason it
wasn't packed out and the audience just weren't really
into and I was really nervous and I remember like, I've got to
have this Conor McGregor bit and I practised it and all this in
my head. And then you bring up Conor
McGregor and then I'm sort of sitting there just like looking
at the audience and you're and you again mention Conor McGregor
and then you and she and you have something to say about
Conor McGregor. I was like, Oh yeah,
spontaneous. Yeah.
But when, when blame game started, when I first started
doing stand up and blame game started, I didn't realise that
you know, the guests who were coming on the comedian guests
were well established circuit comedians, well known people.
I in my head I thought well I do stand up because I've done 1 gig
so I'd like to get on that. So I emailed Jackie Hamilton and
said I still have the e-mail and I said hi Jackie, my name is she
and I've done a couple of gigs. You need anyone for the show,
let me know, I'll be available. And to be fair, he responded and
said fuck off. No he didn't.
He didn't he. Wouldn't he's a lovely.
Man, he said, he said thanks very much for the offer.
He goes, we're booked up for the series, but keep going with
stand up. And that's really nice to get a
reply. But even when I got that reply,
which was clearly just out of plainness in my head, I was
going, I'll probably get on the series like he's saying that,
but you know, I'm probably coming on as a guest.
And then thirteen years later, I did the radio with.
Michael McIntyre was on. It's Michael McIntyre, the radio
show before he, before she, before he was famous Sir and
Milliken did it. John Bishops first ever TV show
was the blame game. And so we've had a lot, quite a
lot of people. You know, Michael McIntyre was
very was on the wall at the time.
Yeah, I was going to say what makes a good guest on it,
because sometimes you see people with the profile they just don't
collect with like the panel. I I.
Couldn't be a guest on it. I not a stand up I I do Well,
no, I came out a different way. I came out stand up from doing
the give me headpiece and stuff like that and writing writing
sketches and stuff like that. So I kind of ended up having to
do it. But I couldn't be as spontaneous
as Willy as those guys are. Give me 1/2 an hour 1 Conor
McGregor. I'll come back to you with two
two good minutes on Conor McGregor.
But just through Conor McGregor. I couldn't I couldn't do it.
It does take a bit of spoiler and it takes natural width and
all of that and some of the problems with the guests that
arrive in the blame game is all the time I get all the shows
great. You don't need those English
people. They don't get us and all that
Well they do they. I mean a lot of them are very,
very good. Yeah, yeah.
You need to be you need to be on top of your game.
You need to have plenty of material, you need to join in
and you need to be open and receptive and you need to go
with the flow and stuff like that.
And some English comedians do come over and go, right, well,
I've got my bit. I'll say my bit and I'll shut
up. There are some English comedians
who in the past who've come over and been a bit arrogant about it
and thinking this is only a local show, these guys.
Yes, I'll wing it. I'll wing it.
And then they find out that in fact, we're quite good at what
we do. You can tell sometimes they do
like in Northern Ireland accent and then they're looking at the
audience. This is all I prepared.
I was hoping this would get enough, you know, But it it's
great. Yeah.
I mean, the fact that's been going for like for for so long
and, you know, you're saying about coming in the stand up
from a different way. Like genuinely like you're one
of my favourite comedians here to watch.
I love watching. You do stand up very good.
Do you? Yeah.
Do you know what?
You're one of my favourite sets and like I know the last five
years that I've seen when you did pugs for Dave and you
headlined and it was just it was great.
Like because you know, you see a lot of stand up and even like
you're good mates to do something.
You don't always stay and watch, You know, you're talking to
someone backstage or like you know, you're doing Class A drugs
or whatever. But but when you're on stage, I
make sure I make sure all. My Class A drugs.
I was just smelling them. I was just smelling them.
That's it. But but yeah, I mean, it's, it's
strange to me that like you don't consider your well, maybe
you do, but like you're, but you're like top class headliner.
Well, I've done a couple of one man shoes and stuff and I did
like that they've done pugs a couple of time for Dave.
How is Dave? Is he OK by the way?
Look, he's back in. He's.
Back. In but I think this weekend he's
getting out there's. So much money, social services
and probation and all waste on that.
It's just one mile. How much does this man cost the
entire well? You know what?
You know what's so funny about? If anyone's aware of this back
and forth between you and Dave, what's so funny about it is it
just totally came out of nowhere because you did the they started
lockdown and we're talking about Dave in general.
And you were like, yeah, you know, as long as he's over this
terrible drug habit. And I phoned Dave because we
speak like every single day, a couple of times a day.
I had just like nothing. And I phoned him.
He said, how was the podcast? And I said it was great.
I said Tim did a really funny bit where he said you take all
these drugs. And Dave was like, why they say
that? He just did and it's been going
on for but in denial. Basically was in denial, but
accept it. But but you know, I think you go
in public with it helped actually helped them a lot, I
think. Well, it's good of you to phone
them every day because I think that that will help ground them,
you know? It will help them, you know, you
know, because I know those other people need a break as well, the
people around them, you know. So thanks for that.
Thanks for that. It got to the point where I
remember being Dave did a podcast together and someone
wrote under it like, yeah, great to see this guy still do a
podcast despite his major drug. There's like no, no, no, this is
a good but but that Pogs gig was was great because I'm sure like,
you know, there's there's there's the TV sort of stand up
circuit and the one man shows and that sort of thing.
But then there is a real good grassroots stand up scene here.
And because you do so much TV stuff, you maybe don't get to go
to those gigs as often, so. That must be fun when you was a
lovely weekend as well. Nice low ceiling and nice weak
crowd and I was trying stuff out as well.
And you there's a release and that kind of thing, and you get
to shout and you get to swear more than you normally do in
the, you know, and you get the venture spleen and stuff.
But also with that, I was trying out new stuff because I I don't
do, I do bits and pieces. I do quite a few corporates and
after dinners and stuff. Yeah, yeah.
I know because I tend to. If you can't make it, I tend to
get a phone call. You get my leftover.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm more than happy with that.
Yeah, kind of the Meat Exporters Association of Monster, sort of
thing. The Pipeline Industry Guild, the
Chartered Institute of Management Accountants.
That was the war. I've done that.
Of your. I've done that.
It was in the merchant and they were standing for it, but they
were all at the back of the room and I'm like, you know, 50 feet
the other side of the room. And they always go at those
things and they're always, for the most niche things, always
go, do you have a wee bit about whatever it is they do?
And you're like, no, I don't have a bit about chlorine, you
know what I mean? I don't have a bit about
chemicals. Yeah, I did one for the Crohn's
Disease Association, Crohn's. Disease.
Why the fuck I've got that? Why would I not be getting the
book for that? I've got, I've legitimately got
Crohn's disease. Why they're not booking me for
that? Well.
Hello. But they also give me the worst
introduction ever I've ever had that a gig.
And I was standing at the back of the hall and there was a
woman made a very impassioned speech about Crohn's disease and
other diseases and how it affects your life and bloody,
bloody blood. And she finished her speech and
she shuffled her papers together and she looked down with, I
think it's the comedian now. And then she walked off stage.
That was the fucking introduction.
So I went off and took the piss out of her.
And Crohn's disease and sick people for a long time went down
very well. Yeah, I mean, it's genuinely
I've got Crohn's. Yeah.
So you did that whole thing, Yes, Yeah, Yeah, Sorry.
Yeah. The show can I.
The show is called Sick Bruno. Sick man.
What is sick? You know, like sick would be
like a slang for like, that's sick.
I don't want to be described this sick man like the worst
avenger. I'm just, I'm just fatigued.
That's my main superpower. It's just chilling on the sofa.
Are you? Sick enough to have a DLA car
or? You.
No, but that's the dream. That's the dream.
Like, I mean, AP, No, Yeah. Different, yeah, no, I've got
Crohn's disease. So if they if they are looking
anyone to do it, I would say because I have it, I wouldn't do
for a fee, but I think I'll be looking for a more generous, you
know, because I also have it. But yeah, I've got fucking 10
minutes on Crohn's disease. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Corporate intros or some of the worst.
And they you know the way if I'm bringing, you said you bring me,
you know, you get it for the name you give a Tim McGarry.
You know, it's a wee bit of they.
Lie 1st and say this is a great friend to Mary.
He's brilliant and bloody black. He's the best we could afford.
They never go. Up they just.
To McGarry and then take ages to get off stage.
There's any time people say well I go up and say something before
me. I go yeah, I just say my name
and then you know, you give your speech after.
I don't The one of the worst ones I did was sometimes it's
because you're going on to such a cold room or they don't know
there's going to be stand up. But I did one in Titanic and
they were going to have a raffle beforehand.
So they said we're going to do a raffle.
Will we do that before you or after?
Will you do the raffle? And I said, yeah, I'll, I'll do
it after my set. Did my set, didn't get a lot, 50
minutes set, didn't get a lot of laughs.
Did the raffle. And then anyone who worked there
was coming up to collect prizes. So as they came up, I was taking
the piss a bit, having a bit of back and forth that that was
like the highlight. So if I had done the raffle
first, the stand up would have been great.
But sometimes the great I'm cursed at slave donor.
Any corporate event I do in sleeved honoured is the worst
and I don't know why. Yeah, there are some hotels you
go. I really don't want to be in
this hotel. Yeah, But have you spoken to
John Lennon? May Mcfett?
John, I thought you said John Lennon.
Yeah, Miss John. John.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not well, but I do know.
Our line 100 May's great, great stories and you know the way
some corporates we were talking about corporates and the worst
corporate you've ever done. He came out with his great lives
since I was once warmed up with a rap What I was doing a gig.
I was supposed to do a gig. I was supposed to be on stage
and just before I was about to be going on stage, a guy I'm
woolly faces said they're rather here to make a statement so they
come out on stage. Shane taught us 24 hours to
leave a country. Fucking Dave.
You go with it too Dave, If you don't stop with those drugs, I
swear to God where I told you mate how many times Dave Elliott
last warning and I mate Mcfetter.
What's the what's that like? Because we all do good gigs, we
all do bad gigs, but what stands out as being like the worst time
you've ever had on stage? I did a corporate and I had to
go away down to County Mayo to do it for an English firm which
was run by a woman from Northern Ireland who knew me and liked
me. But it was for a bunch of
English guys who came over from Leeds and they'd been on a
drunken weekend and they wanted Roy Chubby Brown.
Yeah. They didn't want anything to do,
certainly with no now, now I knew it wasn't.
I wasn't going to do my hero. They were all from Leeds, my Jim
Allister gags, you know, Jimmy Bryson.
It wasn't like that. So I, you know, I teared it to
them but they were all completely hammered and they
really didn't want me. They wanted knob jokes and
stuff. And I, I don't talk about my
sex, like I don't like to boast and all that stuff.
I just, you know, I did about two minutes in.
I thought this is the worst gig of my life.
And they were really hate. They were quite aggressive
about, you know, I just really wanted me off and I got
pigheaded and I went fuck you, I'm going to do my 20 minutes.
Yeah, just you annoy them. Planting the feet.
And I was doing like there was a woman from Belfast and one other
person with her who were laughing at me.
And then there were, it wasn't a big gig.
It was a well, very well paid. It wasn't a big gig.
It was about 30 of them, right? And they all hated me and I just
did it anyway. I did the 2025 minutes that I
had to do. But then I was staying in the
hotel and I couldn't avoid them. The next day they were all over
the hotel and go, well, Gary is it couldn't have and it still
scarred me. God, no.
So I know your audiences. I like to like, you know, go in,
go out for those gigs, not to hang about, but like stay in
hotel with. I can think of nothing worse.
I won't stay for a dinner ever. You don't?
No, don't. I get too nervous beforehand.
If I'm in the room for too long I like to just arrive however
long they want me there before. But like I like to be in pretty
quick and then leave if. Possible, Yeah, No, I'm quite
sure I don't mind sitting with them if they're, you know, as
you get boring ones, but there's some of them you you get the
chat to them and you can get a bit of biz.
And yeah, when I when I smoked, I used to just nick bite the
back and sneak a fag of people and get you know who's who and
you can get a couple of jokes off people you know.
Yeah, yeah. I don't mind the corporate.
I I like them, I just have had some terrible ones.
But then there's also someone's some you do and go.
This just feels like a yeah, something really, really nice.
Exactly. That's how you have to treat it.
I mean, I think the table the couple of the corporates have,
the audience aren't there to see you.
They haven't paid to see you. They don't know.
Most of the time they don't even know you're on.
Yeah, yeah, they go, they go up. I can never, like, give me
headpiece anyway. And now you've got to listen to
them for 25 minutes, you know. But you know, you can, you can
have really nice corporates. You can.
Have you ever had real bad backlash to a joke?
Like have you ever had threat or something, something come down
the the line to you? Like occasionally because you're
you're you're way over the years in the game, you're bound of,
you know, you make jokes about paramilitaries or political
situations and that sort of thing.
So. Yeah, we did a joke in two
ceasefires in a wedding, with the very first one right back in
95. Which was sorry, was that a
spinoff or get my head piece? That was the the pilot chauffeur
give me headpiece 2 ceasefires in a wedding.
It was the very first one and it was about I played Dan.
I was my daughter was marrying A peeler.
So I was ringing Gerry Adams in the radical could we break the
ceasefire because I'm very angry and then I rang the INLA is it
ring. So do you still on ceasefires?
Yeah, we're done. Can now we break the ceasefire?
No, no company. I said, is that the position of
both of you at the gym? A big Jackie Hamilton who lives
in Derry. Then for a week later says I've
had a word if somebody rang me who's close to the thinking of
the island lake. One of the two did you tell?
Tim McGarry, There's more than two of us, and we're.
Oh. OK, there's more than two.
There's three, yeah. Apart from that we haven't
really. We we had a sketch that went
wrong in our TV when 1996 that caused a bit of hassle but bit
of a backlash. Why did it?
Go wrong, you talk about it, it's OK.
Yeah, it was a long time ago. Let's just say we lost a few GAA
clubs over it. I'm.
Not that they're good. Corporate.
Will they argue? Well not necessarily David Hall
or agents Quickly. GA clubs are the worst ones for
Pena in cash right And then they'll have a bundle of cash
and they'll go they'll give you a favour and go.
Weren't many underneath. Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
But disappointed by the crowd. I've had a lot of favour and
then go thought the bar would do a lot better.
You know which is I. Thought a guy would give me half
in cash but bear in mind it was £100.
Give me £50 and go. Might have to write you a cheque
for this. Other fifty goes he goes, my
wife won't be happy with me and I was like, OK, write it.
And then he wrote it and genuinely about a year later,
this guy is stand up divorced. So he kind of was right your
fault. He kind of was right.
Has has like coming out of lockdown and been able to like
be because, well, you didn't, you're maybe one of the only
people that didn't really stop making stuff.
You're doing radio and TV, but has it has it made you want to
do anything different? Like has it spawned any ideas
for TV or or things where you go?
I won't do this. Well, we were, we would hate to
say we had quite a good lockdown because we were able to give me
here peace socially distance in a, in a warehouse.
So it can kill route we're able to do.
And then we played it to an audience, the cinema, where
instead of doing it in the studio in front of 300 people
like we normally do, we built a bigger set and all of that.
And Jim Craig has 2 metres stick outs.
We all had to be two metres apart.
We only do that to the radio show.
But yeah, because in a bit of time I have a couple of other
wee things that I love doing. I do a history show with a guy
called David Huma, the Orange Order called The Long and the
Short of it, which is a brilliant title for a radio
show, for ATV show, because I'm 6 foot four and he's 4 foot
nothing on the radio. It makes no sense, no sense.
People go why just call the long on the short of it until you see
a photograph. And because of the centenary and
we were mucking about and stuff. So we're doing a couple of live
versions of that, which is kind of a sort of half stand up, half
lecture, half rag, which really enjoying.
And we we've done loads of these series and we've got to do
another one. And it's just talking about
controversial moments of Irish history and having a ride, which
is great. People are like, the centenary
is a weird thing, isn't it? Because it's, it's so divisive
to even just say they said like people don't want to know.
They're like, no, it's not 100. Years and it's like it is, but
it's not. It's not saying it's good or
it's bad, but it is 100 years since Northern Ireland was like
formed if you want to. People are like no, no, they
just can't like the centenary. It's just it's the most divisive
thing. Yeah, I even got a bit of JIP
for doing this thing with David Hume, for even marketing Cole,
the top of the history, like totally my history, you know.
But I'm young and I'm old enough to remember Ulster 71.
Of course you wouldn't remember that.
They had a massive thing about the Ulster 70 to celebrate 50
years of Northern Ireland called a big supposed to be a big
festival and there was a fun fair and there was an exhibition
and all that. Was this in 1970?
1/19/71 The big odds Ulster 71 come and join the farm
unfortunately slightly under will undermined by the fact that
civil war was breaking so AD list civil war not a proper
civil war it was a bit of a crap effort in civil war but we
weren't murdering each other in huge numbers and this kind of
thing just you know it was every night again you get.
The news What do you remember? Who was on?
We got clips of it for the show. We did Pop Goes Northern
Ireland. There was Gloria Honeyford and
sort of things. Gloria Honeyford singing.
Gloria Hunterford was a singer. OK.
And I didn't know that. Yeah.
And there was a proper sort of exhibition and then the massive
fun fair, I think in Botanic Gardens and stuff.
But it was kind of the news so and so on were shot today.
Anyway, Ulster 71 come and join the fall and.
They should undermine anything that's happened that day.
Exactly. So they're not, you know,
Northern Ireland is not great at anniversary.
No, no, no. Did you watch Keeley's
documentary? I did, yeah.
It was brilliant. Yeah, I thought the one he did
before as well. Yeah, I thought it was even
better the one he did. But I thought, yeah, no,
Keeley's been great and he's the one he did before.
We interviewed Arlene and Arlene said she would leave.
There was a United. Everyone that said, no one who
says that has ever left? Yeah, nobody.
Who do you know from here that's left?
You don't leave. You know what I mean?
Like you can't leave. But you do get people who are
like, yeah, you know, I think I'm, I think we're going to move
as things go. No one has ever moved for
anything other than like a new job or whatever.
No, I thought Katie's been great.
I think he's been really good and he's advocate of integrated
education as a no, you are too and stuff and done the
integrated education gigs and he was very good and that was doing
network audience as well to say listen, come on, look at where
we are here you. Know do you know who who I would
love to get on the podcast? Speaking of integrated
education, may blood. Yes, may blood.
The the the great Baroness Mayblood, some woman.
She because I went to see we talked to this before, but you
there was a stand up night for integrated integrated education
at the Ulster Hall and it was you and and Jake and Colin and a
few others and and Mayblood gave like a talk at the start.
It was funnier than everyone. She's.
Fucking hilarious. Devastated the place like just
like dead serious but ruthless. I can't remember what she said
but just the place is in stitches.
She has some. Some story to stop swearing and
all that blue stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But no, I'd love to get her on. You've got a new show for Radio
Ulster and it's about music. I didn't for some reason.
I I didn't know you were into music.
I'm not, I'm not really, but this is an odd show.
It's called Criminal Records, which is kind of reverse Desert
Island Discs, where you don't come on, talk about music you
love, but it's music that you hate, right?
Right. So it's kind of the worst song
when you were a child, When I was a child, the worst song that
me and my brother were made to sing 2 Little Boys by Ralph
Harris, which you don't like to sing now for various other
reasons, but it was very fashionable at the time.
The worst lyrics. It's almost like he was trying
to tell us something. The worst form of music, you
know, whether you're like hip hop or jazz or something, The
worst gig you were ever at the. So what?
What music do you hate? I hate free form jazz, yeah.
You're very good at it. I was at, it was in Edinburgh a
long, long time ago. We went to a jazz club and there
was a guy and they played for 20 minutes and then they stopped
and said that's our version of Bye Bye Blackbird.
No, it wasn't nothing. Like where was the black thing?
Nothing. Like anything.
It was nothing. It was just you just made this
up as you go along. I think jazz has to be the best
kind. It has to be like the top level
is OK in my eyes. You know, I don't know what
music guy. My dad had two great jokes.
My dad had a great There was a jazz musician who died and he
was a jazz trumpeter or something or whatever, and my
dad used to say I see him. Great man, great musicians.
Never played the same tune once. And his other he was into
classical, He got me into classical music when I was quite
young. And his other great joke, and he
loves it. See, Wagner said.
Wagner's music is much better than it sounds.
Wagner did a birthday message from my mate.
What do you? Mean Wagner from Wagner cycle.
Oh, I thought you meant Wagner from.
Right of the Valkyries. Did he do that?
No, I'm thinking. You're talking about you're like
Bagner is the best of all. Time all right, OK.
I don't know what I think. I'm at the stage, you know, the
stage where you stop listening to Radio 1 and you've got more
Radio 2A. Long time ago.
I'm at that point so like modern music I but so much modern music
is just old songs with like a bit of a dance beat behind it
now. It's as if they've now run out
of music, but maybe every generation thinks that.
Well, absolutely. I mean, I think music stopped
when The Smiths broke up in 1985 or whatever.
When Ian Curtis committed suicide, that was kind of.
You, you went, I saw you somewhere recently, you said you
were going to see Fontaine DC. They were brilliant.
Yeah. It's good.
Yeah, really good. Do you get, like you say at that
gig where there's loads of young people, like will you get a bit,
Will you get a bit of flak? Will you get a bit?
Not flak, but will you get a bit of photos?
And selfies, that's a lot of a lot of photos and a lot of
selfies and all that. Yeah, yeah.
And I had to black my way into the VIP area, which is basically
the side. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Only 20 people in the queue for the bargain.
So as opposed to 50, you know? Yeah.
It's weird, like music. I didn't realise how much I
missed music till I went to see Jerry Cinnamon a couple weeks
ago and I've seen a few gigs since and it's it's so good when
you won't see a good live music gig, there's nothing better.
Yeah, it's brilliant. Well that's remember I my first
ever gig was I went to see the Tom Robinson Band in 1978 who
was supported by Stiff Little Fingers.
Oh yeah, I know that. Whitla Hall, You never heard of
the Tom Robinson Band? No heard of Stiff Little
Fingers? Her car in the darkness look up
Power in the Darkness. The album Power in the Darkness
with Tom Robinson Band from 1978.
Were they what? They're local?
No. No, no, no, no, because I know
stuff. Little fingers you've ever heard
of sing If you're glad to be gay, You never heard that song
Sing no Tom Rich. Sing if you're.
Glad to people today young. People, I mean, it could, it
could be the anthem of the podcast, but but Steph, my mate
went to see Steph Little Fingers in a car park in Bambridge.
They were doing a concert and he said they played at Alternative
Ulster four times. It's a good zone, but I don't
know. That I could, yeah.
What? Was it?
The first gig I went to see is actually a pretty impressive.
What do you find? A lot of people lie about their
music preferences and gigs they saw where like, you might have
gone and see someone quite shit. So you'll forget that and you'll
wait until the best, the best first gig you went to see and
then say that my first gig genuinely was Elton John
Stormont. Really good at Stormont.
Yeah, he did. He did sing for Gay, that one.
Which is. Good it was.
Brilliant. Yeah, yeah, I was a kid and you
know why I thought it was unreal because The Lion King had just
come out and he did the soundtrack.
So I was a huge Elton John fan. But it was, it was brilliant.
It was a good first game to go to.
I was a kid and then the Lighthouse fan.
I'm a bit of a rocker. I like the mosh pit so I want to
see the Lighthouse family in Kings Hall and it was brilliant.
Yeah, I had a mate who was really and the music when I was
young and I ended up, I went to see U2 in the Ulster Hall when
the 1978 just after the Boy album came out and it was third
full. So it's one of those, yeah, we,
we, we were there when we were there when they were cool and
nobody knew who they were and stuff like that.
But yeah, I've been to see some shit bands as well.
What What do you have? You have any good guests coming
on the? Show Yeah, we've fantastic
guests. We have Carl Frampton, we have
the Queen of Country herself, Philomena Begley.
Genuinely, I thought you were just going to say the queen.
I thought you were just going to leave it there.
I was like, that's a great guest.
What was your? First game on that we're working
on her. First game, the Darkness.
Criminal records the song she hates.
God save the Queen if she hears it one more fucking time.
Jesus, here we go again. These different fingers, 4 * a
month, every bucking day, everywhere she goes.
It's not even a good tune, you know?
At the start of it's good I. Like the start of hope and glory
or something. Give it the welly.
Stiff Little Fingers. Yeah, they were I found out
about this band and I unfortunately I can't remember
what they're called, but they're like a worship band like so I
presume that's a Christian music and they're from Bangor and
I've. I sent a message asking on the
podcast a couple of days ago. They're called the something
Collective or something. It begins with R and the they
were they're doing. The man looking this up now,
yeah. They're doing the SSE arena
because I was looking at my show and I saw this band and I
thought all that the Ren collective, right?
These guys I think are from Bangor.
See their videos, 20 million, 30 million.
They're doing SSE and they're because they're a worship band.
Like, you know, Americans like us wouldn't heard of them, but
they're they're huge. They're from Bangor.
Yeah. There's probably an American
market there, yeah. Yeah, yeah, probably.
Are they any good? I mean, I think.
If your lyrics are a bit predictable, are.
They, they like God. I think there's a lot of like, I
think reading between the lines of music, they think God's
pretty cool guy. Yeah, they like him.
Jesus, he's good. Yeah, he's in there as well.
Everything's great, a lot of smiling.
Film. It was film in a bag.
He's on blanket on the ground. Among many others.
Well, yeah, yeah, but that she's.
Nearly 80 and she's woman. Yeah, she's still gone.
And she's she's been in the business nearly 60 years.
Actually some great stories. She's got somebody died during a
gig shoot somebody when she was singing.
I can't remember the name of the song.
Somebody went and died in the middle of the gig.
Right, right, right. Not ideal, not it kept going,
didn't stop. Totally professional, just.
Jived her out of there. Yeah, like a comedy kick.
How to go really killed tonight. Yeah, really killed.
So I have a card. Felt that of Colin Murray, who
was brilliant as well. Really, really good.
And I had Peggy Lee, the actor from Peaky Blinders at Mercer,
Callahan. They kept the Northern Ireland
football team, kept the Clifford as well.
Brilliant, really woman. And I had Holly Hamilton, the TV
presenter stuff. When you when you started doing
get my head pace, did you? I've always won last years.
Did you know when you when you started doing those pilots you
were talking about, did you know that that would be successful or
was there a feeling of like this is going to be what it has
become, which is, you know this really long running institution
type? Show two cease fires in a
wedding was was one off where originally the idea was this is
a piss take of all the bad Northern Ireland plays and films
and stuff that there were about Northern Ireland or people with
dodgy accents, usually English actors.
And it was a piss take of all that and it was essentially A1
off right. And it was Martin Lynch the
playwright. He was talking to my 2
colleagues, Damon and Michael one time over a pint and said,
you know, you've created a sitcom.
There was what do you mean? You've got two families in the
sitcom and characters and they're larger than life at the
book and sitcom. We're really OK.
I've eventually pitched it to the BBC and we did one series
and it did all right. Didn't do brilliantly.
It took until the second or third series before it went from
it did did well. Didn't know when he was getting
2030% and then it just went vomp like that.
Ridiculous figures getting over 50%, beating EastEnders and
stuff like that. And I was being chased around in
supermarkets by kids and stuff. You know, that was just.
Thankfully it's that way around. Yeah, those days are gone.
Yeah. Come into my trolley.
But it was totally unexpected. In fact, the first series went
well and the babe came to us and said, we think there's another 6
here. Do you think there's another
six? And we, oh, hundred percent, 606
more. And then we went to Raymond.
We've, we've written all the jokes, we've done all the
stories. That's all there is.
There is no more. This is how we're going to do
this. But then you get into the groove
of it. And then we got into the groove
of writing a sitcom and writing a having a plot structure and
having the the dialogue was actually quite easy because the
characters we we knew so well. Yeah, it was the plot structure.
I mean, a really good script editor who was really good at
going. There's 4 lines.
There is no joke. Give me a joke and blahdy blah
and suggestion jokes as well. Guy called Niall Leonard,
brilliant guy. And you won't know now, but
you'll know his wife because he's married to Erica Leonard
James. He is Mrs He's Mr 50 Shades of
Grey. His wife is Erica Leonard.
Does she have a connection to here?
She she's English. But she married him and.
Lived in Belfast. He's from Newry, but he's from
Alex Gillenry. But he lived in Newry and then
took up with Erica and they lived in Belfast for several
years. And he was a script editor in
BBC Northern Ireland when we were starting.
And she she worked in television production and then did the
writing on the side kind of. And then with that link, when
you heard they were making the 50?
Shades of Grey in in the books, in the movies.
Did you consider getting on the phone to him?
I'd say said hello. Yeah, yeah.
And if you've met. Niall Leonard, you know,
Christian Grey, billionaire, you know, man with a sex dungeon.
Not really. Now it's from Yuri and I go EL
James. She she deserves every single
penny. Like she has some imagination.
Met this guy she met now is a good friend, a really good
friend of ours. And you know, we, we knew her
vaguely and you know, we'd met her a couple of times and stuff.
But he was, he worked in six or seven of our series and we'd
send him a script and he'd come back two days later and he'd
read his go. That's not.
But he, what he did was bring it to the script.
He suggested other jokes and he suggested stuff and you went OK,
and you could reject it as well. Go.
No, I don't agree on that. But he was just pretty.
And then suddenly he stopped taking her culture.
Where is he waiting? He's probably an intelligent
though, He tells a great story about Erica was writing bits and
pieces for and you know, was doing okay.
But he was, he was a, he was a script editor.
He was writing stuff for the BBC and bits and bobs and his two
kids at university and he was fighting with the BBC and they
weren't paying him and all of that.
And Erica, come in, you would say I'm going to give up my job
and go full time with the writing and said for a second,
his his brain went, for fuck's sake, it's the last fucking
thing I need when up in Kent University.
And she's going to give up a fucking job.
And he said, thankfully my brain went, Erica, that's a great
idea. I fully support you.
He said six months later, he said not six months later, she
was top of the New York bestseller list.
Incredible. And then he, you know, Yeah.
And he, funny enough, he, he and Eric could do bits and pieces
for the Degree of Education fund.
And I met them at one of the do's in London.
So solid, down to earth. Brilliant, Brilliant people,
brilliant people. Did you have many?
Did you have? Push backs for a lot of the
stuff you were writing at the time from like BBC and stuff
like that, like a lot of the jokes that were in was there a
lot of like because it's a minefield anyway, but did.
It change say for example when. You started.
Get my headpiece. The jokes you were allowed to
get in over time. Were you allowed to get more in
because they trusted you a bit more?
Yeah, exactly. They they.
After a few series, they, they were very nervous at the start.
And there always are. Yeah, but this, this happens all
the time. We we did.
We did a gig for the, for the PSNI very early.
They asked us to do a thing for peelers, which is quite
controversial at the time, and we've had no problem.
I like the peelers, You know, if you know any peelers, you're the
darkest sense of humour in the world, you know.
And the first time we did it, Hugh Ord was the chief constable
and he said, want to see the script a week in advance, We can
advance. OK Sent us the script and he
took a few lines out and done anything.
And then we did it in front of an And then we.
And he realised he went, ah, right.
OK. They know where the line is.
Yeah, they know where the line is.
You know what, You're not going to be offensive.
You know we're going to push it as well, because people like
that Northern, they like you to push it up to the close of the
line. With television, it's completely
different. You've got script editors,
you've got lawyers, you've got all sorts of things.
But they now trust us. We've a legal background as
well, so we know we haven't been actually been sued.
If somebody threatened to sue us recently, I can't talk about but
but we haven't been sued and ever at all, you know, for for
like we do like, but we can we do like a real life game, But
guess who? So if we set up, does this
person have glasses? Yes or no?
No, I think you know it is. See what you're saying about
like? You know, BBC could be like
quite worried about things. Me and Dave, we're doing the
rave lockdown, so playing dance music on Friday nights and
lockdown. One of the shows fell on Good
Friday, right? And I don't even know really
what good for. I know it's a religious thing,
but I don't know what it is or what it signifies.
We had to read out at Disclaimer at the start of the show and say
welcome to the ray of lockdown. We're aware it's Good Friday.
So if this show isn't for you, feel free to switch off and do
something else. Was like by playing like sash
Ecuador and Scooter, how are we disrespecting God?
You know, I mean, like we're not it's not like we're playing
satanic mix. You know, it's we're playing
commercial dance music like what Christians are going to be up
for sake. Do anything wrong?
Yeah, you will. You see the?
Good Freddy people take seriously because that's the day
Jesus was put the cross and all of that, and stations of the
cross and the day that used to close all the bars and all.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you know what you are? You've just been disrespected.
No, I knew. I know it's a religion, but you
know, I know it's a thing off the.
Radio for that. The memo get through I I didn't
know that's. The exact day it was, I didn't
know it was the day he went on the ground.
I just knew it was like, you go to school at all.
Did you like? There's so many things to
remember, just in general. So many things to remember, like
good Freddy. Yeah, but you know, there's the
day Sunday. Why do I have Easter Sunday?
I don't. Know Easter eggs well, that's a
day. That's a day he had a big
dinner. That's why you.
Have Easter Sunday, but but there's like the day he came out
of The Cave and there's all this birthday and it's a lot of days.
So I just knew it was a religious day.
But no, I wasn't like a school guy, if you want to call it
that. Wasn't like a learning type.
I like academic. No, no, no, no not.
Academic, I like PE and stuff and I I did get a degree, but
that's just from the streets. University Streets of Hollywood,
University of Life. Yeah.
Yeah, well. I learned some things in
Hollywood. Side of Hollywood, Yeah, You
know where? He said.
The bad side of the tracks There's no bad side of the
tracks in. Hollywood, even the bad side of
the tracks, is fucking lovely. It's it's nice on the bad side
of the tracks. Where did you grow up to North
Belfast? Antrim Rd, North Belfast.
Have you stayed there? Very boring.
I'm a very boring man with a very boring life.
I think I'm born too. I've moved four times in a
radius of 500 yards where literally, literally like that
house there they go over there I go.
Yeah, I like it. You know, like, but genuinely,
do you think yourself as like a relatively?
Boring guy Because I think I'm, I'm, I think I'm quite a dull
guy. Incredibly dull, yeah.
And because I don't. You I meet people who I'm like
that person's really exciting, but the things that make me
happy are very simple things. Watching football like like,
yeah, football cup of tea. Crossword.
Cup of tea. Online chess.
I'm no good at crosswords. Online chess.
I do Online chess. Yeah, I've got into that, yeah.
Have you? When I.
One of the coolest things I was always we were in Miami and in
Little Havana, you know, the Cuban area they have there, they
all the men meet in like a square and actually play chess.
And I thought that was class. Well, I mean, I can barely play
draughts, so I was watching them going.
That's impressive. Yeah.
I would never be able to learn chess and someone will go.
I could teach you. You couldn't I, I couldn't learn
chess. Well, I was in the Nerdsville,
you know, I wasn't very. Sporty at school, you know?
I liked sport, I liked football, but I was no good at it.
I was last to get picked, even if I brought the ball, you know,
they're my jumpers, last to get. So I hung around with the nerds.
So I was in the chess club and it was, it was quite useful for
a bit. And then I realised I was being,
I was about 12:13. I was being beaten by 7 year
olds who'd never seen grass, but they knew the Nims of Indian
defence and you know, the English gambit inside out, you
know, and their fathers are standing beside them rubbing
their hands going, he's going to be a grandmaster.
So I entered a few competition but given up.
But I was kind of hanging around with him nerds and ended up in
sort of the acting in this rather than the sporty world
chess. No, I I love.
There's so many things I. Love the idea of but I could
never do it. Like I honestly wouldn't have
the ability to ever play chess well that would give me great
satisfaction and beating an. Idiot like you Because the point
of chess is to beat people. Yeah, no.
And it is the only game where there's no.
Chance if I beat you at chess? It's because I'm smarter than
you are. Yeah, fair.
The trouble is when an online. Chess.
I'm I'm brilliant and then I'm a complete fucking idiot.
We're all within a space of 5 minutes.
You just sell my computer rebooted itself just.
Switch off online chess and Chardonnay do not mix by the.
Way. Yeah, the is that what you do?
You pop Chardonnay? Oh, you have a week couple.
Of glasses and you go I'm. A genius and Tim, I'm getting a
real a real glimpse into your. Private life and you use the
glass or just a. Swing from the ball.
Flagging. As long as you're staying out of
those shopping centres. It's all right.
What are you going to do? Like the long short of attack?
Are you going to your turn that or your?
We are. We're doing a sort of mini tour,
yeah. We've been to where we were in
Derry, we're in The Apprentice Boys at Derry Hall in Derry a
couple of weeks ago. It was great, really good, good
fun. And then we were in the Stormont
Hotel, part of the East Side Arts Festival and we're all over
the place. I think we're an arm and the
Lyric and Dairy's a great place to.
I'll get a link for the tour, we'll put it in the bio for this
description. Derry is a great place to gig
but I just wish I could make it a bit closer.
Yeah, it's just a Glenshin pass. Doesn't work.
For me it. Doesn't.
Sorry, they're getting rid of it.
They're trying to. Go around it out there or
something that makes it quicker. You can grim the glenshin pass
once you. Get there.
It's always a Derry and it's Derry's like a comedy city as
well. Like people like stand up.
Yeah, I just headlined the Gas Yard Failure Festival, me and
Jerry Adams and not like a duo type thing.
You did a different event, but but it was it was brilliant.
Yeah, it was good. No, I love it.
I love Derry. We.
Funny, our lot last year we were
giving a headpiece to our last three shows were in the
Millennium and Derry. Yeah, and then we did one more
in our man and it all went to crap.
But they were literally with our last three just before the
lockdown were in the Millennium and Derry.
It's a great I open. It can't be there, darling.
It's it's beautiful. When it's full, it's just
lovely. And Derry people are, Yeah.
I mean, they're a bit hot. Yeah.
I mean, I think. And you?
Think everyone who's not from where you're from is a bit old,
but like, but they're like, you know, they because I, I was told
by a dairy person. There are two types of dairy
people, dairy people who think dairy is the centre of the
universe and dairy people who think it's the arsenal of
nowhere and can't wait to get out of it.
Yeah, yeah, I don't think there is 2.
I think there's. Dairy people who?
Think it's the centre of the universe and dairy people who
fucking are very angry that you don't think it's the same.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Although like.
Here's thing Tim, I like to go to Nando's before a gig just to
be ritual mine. It's it's sort of quick food.
I like it and dairy has a Nando's, but it's never busy.
And that's what I I find that weird that why it's a big city,
but I like that you can just slip in there and then go do a
gig, right. That's just my real busy in
dairy. The Nando's just hasn't taken.
All like you say there, you know, there can be maybe a bit
weird, maybe there's established chicken places where people are
going nowhere. This is where I get my chicken
from. Just to maybe don't like trying
new things. OK, Yeah, OK.
Would you? Would you would?
You go from an Anders with me sometime.
No, I don't really. Before a gig, no.
I know. Do you not like before a gig?
Don't eat before a gig I. Can't understand that I.
Faced before a gig? Really.
Yeah. No, no, no, I can't.
No. I do like if King Henry the
Eighth. Like banquet all big chicken
legs and Mead No. David Mead, No.
Yeah. Nice joke there, but.
No, I, I not, not that I don't smoke anymore.
I don't smoke. Before I usually had used to
smoke quite a lot before gigs and then the odd paint.
But no, I can't really eat. I need to kind of.
You get nervous. I'm always nervous.
I'm always get nervous. It depends if I've played.
The venue before I'll be less nervous like I did Lavery's
couple of nights ago. I'll get to 0% nerves, but I
think that's because I know I've worked on the material.
You know, I'm I'm not winging it.
If I'm winging something, I'll get really nervous.
But if I've worked on the material on enormous set list, I
get way less nervous and I feel comfortable on that stage.
But if I go somewhere I've never been before, I can get nervous,
but there's no there's no like in between from I'm either not
nervous at all or I'm massively nervous.
I don't think for if these shows, you know, happen, and I
hope they will when they do help them for Waterfront, because I
did that last time, I think I'll be a bit nervous, but not that
nervous. But then for SSE, not just
because the scale, but because I've never been on that stage, I
think I'll be more nervous for that.
Yeah. I, I Yeah.
I keep comedians who aren't nervous at all.
It's weird. And then it's annoying.
Yeah, for. 3. Years for 3-4 years.
My handshake. Yeah, I've literally been
standing backstage in the. Grand Opera House with Neil
Delamere chatting away, chatting away, chatting away no, Neil
Delamere, he went all right some more and he walked on stage he
just you just. Like probably proper.
Chat in the middle of a laying up your conversations or a chat
no when you're not piercing up and down over what's my order
and where am I going What's what are we starting with?
One thing I hate is when comedians run like.
Your mates raw material by you before you go on stage because
you're thinking about their material then as well.
I like to just, I like to relax but have a bit of my own time.
It's better than me, yeah, and I'm about to go and use it.
So you've got that tour. Come and then with get my
headpiece, will you? Will you tour that again?
Yeah, yeah. We're we're, I think.
We're put in the new Opera House and end of March, end of March,
early April, I've got a sneak preview of the Opera House.
The the work that's done. It's stunning, absolutely
stunning. It's going to be a brilliant,
brilliant. I'm hoping to do something
really as gorgeous. And they've redone.
The entire added on bit, the annex, you know, redone all the
bars and stuff because it was a bit of a mess and it's
beautiful. I've done the Opera House once
in a way and it. Was with you, it was.
With you it is. The best venue to do comedy in
Northern. Were you with me?
Yep, in a way technically I performed.
Do you remember there was a Christmas gig about 12 years ago
that Jackie was wrong, All right.
Yeah. And do you remember it was
hosted by the toll trolls? Yes.
Who were pop up things comedians?
From Dublin that a radio show had these.
Things and they talk like they were on helium and they did like
Nordy accents, which for some reason I hate that word.
Not that it offends me in any way, I just hate the sound of
the word Nordy. But anyway, they were MC in
these gigs but in big real life troll suits.
But they were doing the voices from up the top of the arena and
they needed two people to be in the suits.
And I had the flu. It was Christmas like 13 years
ago, I had the flu and Jackie for me and said we need £50, we
need someone to stand in a troll.
I fit and be on the stage in the Opera House and I said to me da,
I remember like being in a look is it and going da, I'm about to
play the Opera House. I think I bashed out like 5
press UPS, got him a course. I went straight to the Opera
House and we were just in these suits and every once in a while
I had to move her arms. And you were performing great
lineup and John Bishop, John Bishop headline and.
I. I was, I had the flu inside this
suit, but it was like I was buzzing to just be on the stage
and we were walking off as John Bishop walked on and George
Quinn was the other troll. She walked off 1st and me and I
thought, ah, I'll interact with John Bishop for a while.
I mean, I've just met John Bish. So I got like the troll hand in
my costume and went for a high 5 as I walked off the stage with
John Bishop, who thought it would be like funny to like, you
know, pretend to like punch the troll, but he did.
But he thought that he. Thought the suit was.
Thick enough to absorb it, but the suits were like he didn't
know the suit. The face of it was like that
thing. So I went for the high five.
I'm like I'll inside. I'm like there's John Bishop's
great. Went to get my high 5.
He's clogged me on the nose and it's like it's near, it's near
sparked me out and I'm walking off the stage like feeling the
effects of the flu. I think my nose might have been
bleeding a bit. I was like this.
My John Bishop might have broke my nose and he just started a
set and but I got everybody laughed.
So it was good. Everybody laughed and you didn't
see him when? You're I might not I.
Might not traumatise. And all of that.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I might see him.
Tim, cheers for coming on. You're very welcome.
Pleasure. Absolute pleasure.
I really. Appreciate it and.
We'll put the the link for the tour in the in the description
for this. Thank you.
Yeah, a criminal. Records is starting on Radio
Ulster, 10th of October or something.
Yeah, yeah, Dan's none. Yeah, yeah. 10th of October.
OK, and Barry's tea I am of. Them cut them off.
I am available. Nordy's.
Selling.
Tea up in the north, Tim. See you ever soon?
Yeah, I'm. Going to foot the bill.
Cheers. Thanks, Tim.
Thanks.