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As always, I am Mike Chisholm, 
as always, I am excited to be 

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here to have conversations 
surrounding the topic of men's 

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mental Wellness, you know, this 
this he changed it movement. 

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That's being built. 
I'm a broken record. 

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If you've listened to two or 
three of these in a row and, you

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know, holy cow. 
Well done. 

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If you've listened to two or 
three of these in a row, what 

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the heck? 
But I'm going to keep saying the

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same thing. 
If you haven't downloaded the, 

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he changed it app. 
What are you waiting for? 

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It's available of whatever your 
persuasion and the apple or in 

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the Google's you can download it
wherever you like to to whatever

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you like to go to heat change, 
to.com for more information. 

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If you like this program, this 
broadcast, if you think that we 

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have got some good information 
here. 

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Please the heat change it. 
Overlords love the metrics. 

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They love when people subscribe.
They love when people share. 

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They love when people. 
People promote what it is that 

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we're doing. 
This is a start up turning into 

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a movement turning into a force 
of nature that will change the 

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world. 
We are convinced of that we are 

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hell-bent on that ad, just 
positive personal development. 

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Let's let's make the world a 
better place. 

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Let's course-correct where it 
needs to be. 

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Let's grow, we need to grow and 
let's take this thing and make 

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it happen. 
This is my favorite time of the 

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week. 
I do a lot of cool things in my 

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life that I really enjoy. 
But there aren't many things 

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that I like doing more than 
this. 

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I love having these 
conversations, centered around 

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personal growth, especially in 
the area of where men are right 

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now, where we need to be and how
we can get there. 

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And today's guest is a guy who I
don't know, man, I call him a 

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brother from another mother. 
He's literally on the other side

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of the planet. 
He's in Australia, but through 

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the Miracles of our wonderful. 
Wonderful connectivity 

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technology. 
We are able To speak together 

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and and and iron sharpens iron 
man. 

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Am I ever sharpened by this 
guy's name is Gem. 

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Fuller je M Gem Fuller like I 
said Australian if you want, as 

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soon as this podcast is over go 
over and searched gems. 

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Ted Talk on conscious 
communication, unbelievable 10 

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minutes of inspiration. 
Opening up the mind as to what 

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is possible. 
And also at the same time, that 

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sounds pretty Whimsical. 
Also, Common Sense conscious 

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communication. 
And anything else that Gemini 

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get into today are going to be 
the topics of today's episode of

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he cast gem. 
Thank you for taking time out of

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your busy day and helping me 
figure out the time zone 

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difference and whatnot so we can
make this happen. 

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I know it's early where you are 
right now. 

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Thank you very much for starting
your day, being on E, cast, 

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Mike. 
What? 

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A way to start the day. 
Dude, you have got me fired up 

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already, seriously. 
This is, this is the first cab 

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off the rank for me now, I know 
today is just going to be 

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wonderful because of the way it 
started with you and I love love

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your energy, man. 
This is great. 

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You know, and it's a gift 
something that I know that I 

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have is this infectious energy 
but it takes fuel to get it 

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going and, and my rocket fuel 
energy today is going after 

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Looking at your Ted Talk, the 
courses that you're building on 

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conscious communication, you 
know, I as we talked about in 

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the brief time, we talked before
we hit the cameras right now, 

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it's just after the Academy 
Awards that everyone's talking 

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about, Will Smith and, and some 
of these things that are 

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happening. 
I'm just thinking about 

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conscious communication is 
something that our world, our 

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entire world needs more than 
anything, you're dead to. 

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This isn't funny. 
There's a funny story behind 

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that of I've got to share this 
with you and what was going to 

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talk about it, but it's just too
funny. 

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So, my publisher. 
Got my book selected into a 

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gift. 
A that got delivered to all the 

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Oscar nominees a week ago, 
right. 

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So my book is sitting in Will 
Smith's Lounge room and I over 

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the last week I've been doing a 
little visualization going. 

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Now Wills are dude, it'd be 
great if you read my book. 

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No and and if you liked it, 
anyway, hey man, reading my 

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book. 
So, a friend of mine rang me 

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yesterday, and he goes, man, The
only thing that could have been 

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better is if Will Smith went up 
and slapped Chris Rock with your

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book and I anyway, funny funny 
story making, I'm making a joke 

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out of something that's not so 
funny and I know lots of people 

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are upset about but I do believe
that if we can't laugh we're 

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going to cry and a bit of a bit 
of humor where we can find it as

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a good thing, right? 
Oh, without a doubt, without a 

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doubt. 
And I mean I just I I spoke with

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a few people yesterday after 
watching the backlash of what 

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was happening. 
Both sides, you know, are maybe 

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more than both sides. 
It's worth three dimensional 

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here. 
There's a bunch of sides to what

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happened with this, but but I 
look at this and I go, okay, 

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there was a group of people who 
immediately were talking about 

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toxic masculinity. 
There is a group of people who 

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were talking about the idea of 
Defending one's honor. 

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A group of people talking about 
the outrage of making fun of a 

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biological condition, a medical 
condition, you know? 

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And, and there's a lot of people
who were yelling and I was 

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sitting there. 
Listening, I was listening 

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listening to what people were 
saying. 

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Men talk about a need for 
conscious. 

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Communication, did you know, I 
hold it right there. 

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You know, in all of this noise, 
I think the thing that where the

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the fine point we're missing is 
to just ease up on your judgment

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of other people for a second. 
Just take a breath. 

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Yeah. 
Right. 

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You know we're so quick to judge
and everyone. 

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This is humans, right? 
Human beings with very, very 

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opinionated. 
And, and even more than that we 

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identify with our opinions. 
Yes. 

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That we create a sense of 
identity that is meshed into our

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opinions, our ideology, our 
political standpoint and we 

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defend our sense of identity 
above and beyond anything else. 

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We get, really, really, if we're
not physically violent, we get 

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emotionally or linguistically 
violent. 

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To defend our sense of identity 
and we've identified with an 

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idea. 
And, you know, I think there's 

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so much to be said for us. 
Practicing to pause and take a 

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breath and go. 
How he is, not me, and he's, he 

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is completely entitled to be him
as much as I'm entitled to be me

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or her or whoever. 
And I'm just going to I'm just 

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going to breathe for a second. 
Let go of that little that 

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judgment just a bit. 
And just, you know, like you 

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said, listen, man, just listen a
little bit. 

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Yeah, I just it's so interesting
to me. 

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How the world has shifted. 
I'm 45 at the time of this 

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broadcast and and I just think 
about how the world has shifted.

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You know, I think about when I 
was a kid and I would meet 

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really religious people, you 
know? 

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And and, and, and to each their 
own, no judgment, no anything 

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right. 
But I would just see the, the 

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fervor and how Kevin Smith had a
movie. 

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If a few decades ago called 
dogma and Chris Rock, who was in

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that, movie actually had a line 
in that movie, that said, you 

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know, It's okay to have ideas, 
but beliefs are trickier beliefs

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are things. 
It's trickier to change a belief

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than it is to change. 
An idea, I just wish they had 

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more ideas and that is where the
world. 

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It seems that people are taking 
whatever you're talking about 

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these ideas wrapping up with her
their identity as you just 

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mentioned. 
Yeah. 

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And defending it the way that 
folks defend a religion. 

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Almost it's almost becoming a 
fervor and its life. 

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And death to them. 
They you know, because when I 

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write when our ego, our sense of
identity is defending itself to 

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the ego, it is life and death. 
You know, if you're attacking my

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sense of identity to the ego 
which is an illusion and made up

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anyway. 
It is, it's like life and death 

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and it's actually not real 
death. 

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I've had the death of ego twice 
in my life and I'm still here, 

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right? 
In fact, it was an opportunity 

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to re-identify. 
It was an opportunity to have a 

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look at. 
You know, how do I want to 

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identify? 
What sort of a person do I want 

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to be how to when someone says 
hi? 

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Who are you? 
What do I want to say to that? 

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Right. 
You know, and so the death of 

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ego as much as our identity is 
super scared of that. 

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Yeah, it's okay. 
You come out the other side, 

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it's all. 
Okay. 

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Right. 
You talk about the death of ego.

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You've had said, it's happened 
twice in your life. 

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Your brother. 
Is that is that one of the 

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moments or was our related, not 
to those to Canada and was 

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living in Canada at the time of 
my of my day. 

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Dad getting sick. 
That's, you know, you would have

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heard that in the Ted Talk and 
yeah, he moved home from Canada 

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and, and then, you know, very 
sadly died. 

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Instantly on his motorbike for 
months after my dad died. 

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Not that. 
That wasn't an ego death. 

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But it was leading, it was a 
part of one of the building 

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blocks, you know, leading up to 
that. 

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It was certainly, the most 
painful horrible experience I've

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ever been through to this day. 
Yeah, but know, that the first 

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time I had an identity crisis, I
was, in my late 20s. 

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I was living in London. 
Then and everything that 

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identified with. 
So her partner actor, 

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singer-songwriter, all the 
things I'd identified with we're

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gone. 
They weren't there anymore. 

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And I really had forgotten who I
thought I was and I'd been 

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trying to etch out this this 
personality. 

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I was a very anti-establishment.
I was a punk had been squatting 

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in abandoned buildings in London
and identifying with this. 

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Can I swear on this podcast? 
Absolutely. 

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My cabbages, so identified with 
this, fuck the system ideology, 

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right. 
The last thing I wanted to do 

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was play into this bullshit 
system. 

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I was like, I said, I was 
anti-establishment. 

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So I had, you know, dreadlocks 
and facial piercings and 

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tattoos. 
And you know, all this kind of 

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thing. 
And I've been trying to create 

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this hype sense of identity of, 
who am I, if I'm not, you know, 

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the average Joe and I lost who I
was. 

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I didn't know who I was, because
we identify with our vehicles, 

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right. 
Our relationships and our 

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career, and Things. 
And all of that was gone. 

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Yes, I got to the point where I 
had developed a stutter I was 

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speaking. 
So quietly that people couldn't 

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hear me, you know, if I got on 
the bus and asked for a bus 

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ticket, the bus driver would be 
saying sorry. 

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What did you say? 
Because I was speaking. 

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So quietly, I was so unsure of 
myself. 

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I would look in the mirror. 
Mike and I just would see 

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nonsensical ugliness, that's 
where I got to drugs. 

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Were a part of this 
self-destructive equation and it

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was all looking pretty dire. 
Yeah. 

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Anyway, my sister turned up. 
She was, she was my angel. 

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She was traveling or working 
around Europe at the time and 

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she came and found me in London 
and she was, hey, brother. 

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You know, remember you're here 
to save money to get back to 

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India. 
This is back in the days when I 

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had a love affair, with, with 
India and Southeast Asia. 

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She said, remember you were 
heading there to travel again 

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and so I kind of remembered what
I was doing. 

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And I got it had enough money to
get my ticket to India. 

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And then spend a year just 
wandering around India, 

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Barefoot, and Reinventing, and 
it ended up becoming Remarkable 

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year of flow. 
It was really quite incredible. 

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I I ran an experiment where I 
said okay if I don't know who I 

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am and I've got no desire and 
what I want to do. 

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I'm just going to run an 
experiment. 

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I'm not going to have any design
on the future at all. 

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Yeah. 
And and I'm not going to when 

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someone says hi. 
Who are you or what are you do? 

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I'm just going to say nothing. 
Maybe I'm just here right in 

227
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this moment and it was quite an 
extreme experiment to run but It

228
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ended up being Sublime like the 
most stunning year of my life. 

229
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The flow was incredible. 
You know, when India is normally

230
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a place where you struggle to 
get anything done logistically 

231
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like you turn up to buy a 
ticket, it takes you six hours 

232
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to buy a ticket. 
You get to the platform to wait 

233
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for the train, you've just 
missed one. 

234
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,300
It takes 4 hours to get on the 
train, you try and get some 

235
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money out of a bank. 
You got to go to ten Banks and 

236
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you know the red tape is thick, 
right? 

237
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And when I was in flow, it was 
incredible. 

238
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Do it was the opposite. 
I like, I just walk up to the 

239
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train station and the platform 
and the Mine would be just 

240
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leaving as I stepped on it. 
It was just smooth. 

241
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And I literally woke up each day
and if I felt like it moving, 

242
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I'd moved. 
And if I felt like staying, I'd 

243
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stay and that was that. 
So then I over this time of 

244
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contemplation, I traveled on my 
own for over a year. 

245
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And in this time of travelling 
on my own, there was a lot of 

246
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beautiful contemplation. 
There might have been a little 

247
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bit of smoking of but there was 
a lot of contemplation and A lot

248
00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:08,900
of re-identification you know 
that so that was the first time 

249
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the second time was in my early 
40s and that was my midlife 

250
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:14,900
Awakening and that wasn't as 
scary because I knew I was going

251
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to be okay but it was an 
opportunity to re-identify. 

252
00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:20,800
I did have to lose everything to
do that, lost my marriage, lost 

253
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,400
my career, lost my house, lost 
all my belongings, thankfully 

254
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:28,700
kept my two boys, my kids. 
Yeah, so I had my two boys, I 

255
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:31,300
had one surfboard and one guitar
and that was it. 

256
00:13:31,300 --> 00:13:34,500
Everything else was gone but 
that was an opportunity. 

257
00:13:34,700 --> 00:13:37,600
To re-identify as well. 
Anyway, you got me talking down,

258
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,700
okay? 
This is important, this is 

259
00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:44,200
really important as the team and
I mean our regular listeners 

260
00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:48,000
will have heard me say this a 
few times but you know it's 

261
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,800
worth it's worth talking about 
again and just like, you know, a

262
00:13:50,808 --> 00:13:53,000
big comic book fan, Stanley 
always used to say you know 

263
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,300
what, every comic is somebody's 
first comic. 

264
00:13:55,300 --> 00:13:58,000
So for the folks who this is 
their first episode of he cast, 

265
00:13:58,100 --> 00:14:00,600
you're hearing me. 
Say this for the first time, my 

266
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:02,700
wife and her team as they're 
building, he changed it. 

267
00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:05,300
They were looking for all the 
pain points that That men go 

268
00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:09,500
through and and and are going 
through, you know, the silent 

269
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:11,700
life's of desperation because 
men don't talk about this shit. 

270
00:14:11,700 --> 00:14:18,300
We just don't, you know, we 
don't take moments normally to 

271
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do nothing except exist in the 
present moment, you know, have a

272
00:14:23,108 --> 00:14:25,200
little bit of pot have a little 
bit of hash and contemplate, 

273
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:29,100
everything and slow everything 
down to nothing because we live 

274
00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:33,600
in a society where we're told 
how to connect the dots, what we

275
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,800
need to do. 
I've used this example so many 

276
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,800
times, you know, we get out of 
school and it's like a get more 

277
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:42,500
educated or get a better job or,
you know, with good benefits, 

278
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:46,400
get the wife, the kids, all that
stuff and and then suddenly, you

279
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,100
know, guys find 20 years, have 
gone by, they've connected the 

280
00:14:49,100 --> 00:14:50,800
dots and they still don't know 
what their purpose is. 

281
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:54,200
They still don't know who they 
are, and you talk about these if

282
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:58,000
this death of the ego and I 
think that there's a lot of guys

283
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:01,000
out there myself included, you 
know where I'm changing things. 

284
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:05,200
You know, I've got a financial 
business but suddenly This, this

285
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:08,900
this thrust of a life purpose of
creating a movement that's going

286
00:15:08,900 --> 00:15:11,100
to grow worldwide, and being a 
broadcaster, and all these 

287
00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:12,900
things. 
And I feel alive. 

288
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,600
There wasn't mentioned in the 
intro. 

289
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:17,000
You know, I feel like I'm doing 
what I'm supposed to be doing 

290
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:21,300
now and it's yeah, raising, but 
yeah, so many guys that are so 

291
00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:24,900
entrenched into the dots that 
they have created. 

292
00:15:24,900 --> 00:15:29,700
They feel like they have created
those dots with irreversible 

293
00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:31,700
ink. 
Well, we got sold on a makeup. 

294
00:15:31,700 --> 00:15:35,000
Sold on these ideas, didn't we? 
We got told that if we You know,

295
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,700
if you finish school and you get
the best job you can get, and 

296
00:15:37,700 --> 00:15:39,800
you earn the money that you can 
get and then you build the 

297
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:42,200
shelter and that the you're 
going to be happy. 

298
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:45,200
Yeah, that there's that's 
meaningful and it's not now. 

299
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:46,800
I mean, it's survival. 
That's necessary. 

300
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:48,600
Of course, we need shelter food 
and water. 

301
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:54,300
That's 100%, that's a given, but
but once you've got that, if you

302
00:15:54,308 --> 00:15:56,300
don't have any meaning or 
purpose behind what you're 

303
00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:59,000
doing, it can lead to a really 
unhappy life. 

304
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,300
And like you said, man, don't 
talk about their struggles, you 

305
00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:05,600
know, I mean, I've got, I had my
deepest darkest, It was a secret

306
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:09,700
torture for a long time and I 
was so ashamed to tell anybody, 

307
00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:12,500
but I just kept it to myself, 
man. 

308
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:16,700
And it was, I'm happy to talk 
about it now because when I talk

309
00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:19,100
about it, men say to me. 
Oh my God. 

310
00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:20,800
Me too. 
I haven't told anyone about 

311
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:24,200
this, but I developed in my in 
my marriage that the marriage 

312
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:28,700
that ended. 
Yeah, I developed sexual anxiety

313
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,200
to the point of not being able 
to perform. 

314
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,600
I would either prematurely 
ejaculator. 

315
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:37,800
I couldn't have Direction I was 
impotent or but I would have got

316
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:41,500
to the point over time. 
Over years of me, having anxiety

317
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,700
attacks when we'd go to make 
love right? 

318
00:16:43,700 --> 00:16:47,000
And you can imagine how 
upsetting and disappointing this

319
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:50,400
is and this wasn't just once or 
twice man, this was for years. 

320
00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:55,100
Yeah and I did not tell anyone 
and my wife, my poor wife at the

321
00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:56,600
time. 
She didn't tell anyone either 

322
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,500
because we were both so 
embarrassed about it. 

323
00:16:58,500 --> 00:16:59,700
We didn't know how to get out 
of. 

324
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:02,900
I didn't know how to break free 
from this psychological Racket, 

325
00:17:03,700 --> 00:17:06,599
and it was owing me. 
And I unto the outside world, I 

326
00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:08,800
was successful. 
I had a corporate job and I had 

327
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:11,700
the house and the white picket 
fence and and I was yeah, man. 

328
00:17:11,700 --> 00:17:14,700
I'm great to my best friend's. 
I was bullshitting. 

329
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,099
Yeah. 
And deep down inside, I was as 

330
00:17:18,099 --> 00:17:21,300
destroyed and as sad as 
possible, but no one knew, and 

331
00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:24,400
there are so many men suffering 
in their own version of this. 

332
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:27,000
It might not be sexual anxiety. 
It might be depression or 

333
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,700
anxiety, or whatever it is. 
But there are men that suffer 

334
00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:32,600
like this and don't tell anyone 
because we've been told that we 

335
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:35,300
shouldn't suck it up. 
Man up. 

336
00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:37,500
Don't cry like a girl. 
Can you believe we got? 

337
00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:39,900
Told that is boys, you know, 
men, still parents. 

338
00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:42,200
Still tell their boys. 
This don't cry like a girl. 

339
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,000
That's the most ridiculous thing
to say. 

340
00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:47,200
Yeah, you know, but we get 
indoctrinated into this culture.

341
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:51,500
That doesn't allow for us to be 
functional. 

342
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,100
Yes. 
We're, you know, you and I 

343
00:17:54,108 --> 00:17:57,100
haven't talked about this 
beforehand and it's beautiful. 

344
00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:59,700
Organically it comes up. 
Our plan is to take back that 

345
00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:01,400
phrase man up. 
We're going to take it back and 

346
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:04,400
we're going to remix it, you 
know, the idea of Manning up. 

347
00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:09,100
Is it can be a positive rallying
cry, which is exactly what we 

348
00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:10,200
want to do. 
Talk about conscious 

349
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:13,200
communication, you know, we want
Manning up to be. 

350
00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:17,500
No, I'm going to talk about what
it is that I'm going through and

351
00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:19,500
I'm actually going to deal with 
what I'm going. 

352
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:22,300
I'm going to man up, I'm going 
to deal with whatever it is. 

353
00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:25,400
You know, I want to before we 
move on to conscious 

354
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:28,500
communication and moving over to
what it is that you have. 

355
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:36,200
You found such a gold. 
Mine of Knowledge and insight 

356
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,600
and you're so poetic in the way 
that you can talk about it 

357
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,400
before we move there. 
I want to talk a little bit more

358
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:43,800
about what you went through. 
Because, I mean, if there are 

359
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,500
guys who are sitting there, 
whatever it might be, you know, 

360
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:50,300
the number one pain Point by the
way that that, that the he 

361
00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:54,300
changed it. 
Team realized is kind of the the

362
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:59,300
the Keystone of what guys are 
going through is loneliness. 

363
00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:03,700
That is number one, and the 
person that you described the 

364
00:19:03,700 --> 00:19:08,400
person that At the reality was 
not available to the family to 

365
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,500
the friends. 
Is it possible to be lonely? 

366
00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:13,800
When you have people around you?
Abso-fucking-lutely it is and 

367
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:17,100
can play the right there. 
Nailed it now. 

368
00:19:17,100 --> 00:19:21,000
I mean you can go as deep as you
want into the specifics of it or

369
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,700
you can keep it General. 
But but how did you find your 

370
00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:26,800
way out of that situation? 
Was there a Breaking Point? 

371
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:30,400
Was there a rock bottom similar 
to when you were in London with 

372
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,600
your with your sister or like 
what? 

373
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:35,700
What facilitated Getting 
unstuck. 

374
00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:38,600
Yeah. 
Wow. 

375
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:43,000
What was the order of things? 
It it got to the point after 

376
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:47,100
years of trying to fix it and 
fix it, right? 

377
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:53,100
And we couldn't, you know, we're
caught in and I'm careful. 

378
00:19:53,100 --> 00:19:55,500
The only reason I'm careful in 
my sharing is because there's 

379
00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:58,000
another person's story involves 
a little early and that's her 

380
00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,400
story to tell. 
Absolutely. 

381
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,600
I'm so I want to I want to be 
careful about that. 

382
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,000
We're not together anymore. 
We're actually we get along 

383
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,800
really well, we co-parent week 
on week off with our kids. 

384
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:10,000
So we're friends and And we 
co-parent really well together. 

385
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,700
So that's a happy ending to that
story. 

386
00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:13,800
Got a disclaimer, by the way, 
for our listeners. 

387
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:17,000
That's a goal if you because I 
mean how many guys out there 

388
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:19,600
that are listening to, this have
gone through a situation like 

389
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:20,700
this? 
That's a goal. 

390
00:20:20,900 --> 00:20:23,100
You want to get to the point 
where there is, I mean I hate 

391
00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:25,900
the buzz words that people kind 
of make fun of and what not. 

392
00:20:25,900 --> 00:20:28,700
But but I when I look at 
something phrase like conscious 

393
00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:31,200
uncoupling, okay if you're going
to yeah, yeah. 

394
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:32,700
Conscious about it. 
Yeah. 

395
00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:35,200
The kids sake for the friends 
for everybody's sake. 

396
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,500
That's a good thing. 
So yeah, it was the hottest one.

397
00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:40,000
Exclaiming, you're actually not 
even. 

398
00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:44,000
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. 
So, look for me. 

399
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,100
How did I get out of it? 
That was your question and it's 

400
00:20:46,100 --> 00:20:48,200
a really good point. 
I write about this in the book. 

401
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:54,100
By the way, the first step for 
me to start healing and it was 

402
00:20:54,100 --> 00:20:55,700
healing that I had to do with 
myself. 

403
00:20:55,900 --> 00:21:00,700
The first step was to tell a 
brother That was the first step 

404
00:21:00,700 --> 00:21:02,600
I've been sitting in men's 
Circle for. 

405
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,800
Wow 12 years now and so there's 
a group of us men. 

406
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,200
We sit around a fire. 
No booze. 

407
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:13,000
No no tobacco no, no pop. 
We sit around the fire. 

408
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,200
We pick a theme. 
We talked about a meaningful 

409
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:19,500
theme, right? 
So I'd been sitting around fire 

410
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:23,900
with brothers and not talking 
about this, right? 

411
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,900
And Meanwhile, my brothers are 
telling that, you know, their 

412
00:21:26,900 --> 00:21:29,100
deepest truth around, whatever 
it, Is that they're going 

413
00:21:29,100 --> 00:21:32,300
through as a man, and I was 
sitting there not sharing my 

414
00:21:32,300 --> 00:21:35,500
deepest truth and it felt so 
inauthentic and it got to the 

415
00:21:35,508 --> 00:21:38,200
point where I was like, I have 
to make a choice here you know. 

416
00:21:38,900 --> 00:21:42,400
And one night after the fire, I 
said to her friend. 

417
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,300
Very I alluded to it. 
I said man, I've got something I

418
00:21:46,308 --> 00:21:48,400
need to say and he said yeah 
what's up man? 

419
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:53,000
And I said I you know I've got 
problems with sex. 

420
00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:56,700
Because I'll he just kind of 
brushed it off a little bit. 

421
00:21:56,700 --> 00:21:59,400
He had he acknowledged but he 
said ah me too man you know 

422
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,100
sometimes it that works and 
sometimes it doesn't he kind of 

423
00:22:02,100 --> 00:22:04,400
made light of it and I didn't go
there any further. 

424
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:08,400
But that was the first step it 
was to actually language it to 

425
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:11,400
say it to share it to open up to
be vulnerable. 

426
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:15,000
Yes, you know, was the first 
step because it was the most 

427
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,500
horrible thing. 
All I wanted to do for my wife, 

428
00:22:17,500 --> 00:22:21,100
not all I wanted but but deep in
the core of my sense of being a 

429
00:22:21,100 --> 00:22:25,000
man was that I wanted to please 
As her I wanted to be her man. 

430
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,500
I wanted to take her like she'd 
never been taken before. 

431
00:22:27,500 --> 00:22:32,000
You know, I wanted to connect 
with her sexually to this these 

432
00:22:32,100 --> 00:22:35,000
incredible Heights that we can 
go to work through. 

433
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,200
Love making, right? 
That's what I wanted to do. 

434
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:41,100
I wanted it to be all about her.
Yeah, but it because of my 

435
00:22:41,300 --> 00:22:45,100
psychological racket, it ended 
up being everything opposite to 

436
00:22:45,100 --> 00:22:48,200
that I became completely 
self-consumed and self-absorbed 

437
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,500
and I couldn't be her man and I 
couldn't take her and I couldn't

438
00:22:50,500 --> 00:22:53,900
be all the things that I wanted 
to be and and then The secret 

439
00:22:53,900 --> 00:22:57,000
torture of keeping it to myself 
because I thought I'm the only 

440
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,900
one going through this, none of 
my friends will understand, 

441
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,400
right? 
So the first step was to start 

442
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:06,200
sharing now, you know, I believe
that talking and sharing is an 

443
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:07,900
important part of the healing 
process. 

444
00:23:07,900 --> 00:23:11,700
But at the same time Mike I 
don't believe that that is on 

445
00:23:11,700 --> 00:23:14,100
its own going to heal. 
You need to take responsibility 

446
00:23:14,100 --> 00:23:17,700
for your own healing. 
So then this all led up and then

447
00:23:17,700 --> 00:23:21,300
we had to break up. 
I said to my wife like we can't.

448
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,300
I'm not going to spend the rest 
of my life. 

449
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:26,900
Like this, if we can't shift 
this we've got to, we've got to 

450
00:23:26,900 --> 00:23:28,600
get happy, both of us. 
We need to. 

451
00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:32,400
We need to get Happy from when 
we decided that we were going to

452
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,800
separate it. 
Took us a year over a year to 

453
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:37,900
even tell the kids. 
We kept living in the same 

454
00:23:37,900 --> 00:23:39,600
house. 
Wow. 

455
00:23:39,900 --> 00:23:42,600
Knowing we were separated and 
then finally telling the kids 

456
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:46,500
and then finally, moving out 
etcetera and then the real 

457
00:23:46,500 --> 00:23:49,600
healing for me came after a 
sweat lodge. 

458
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:51,900
You guys know what a sweat lodge
is over there. 

459
00:23:51,900 --> 00:23:53,300
Right. 
Absolutely people people. 

460
00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:55,800
Know what I'm talking about when
I say a sweat lodge. 

461
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:57,300
They're like, what are you 
talking about, dude? 

462
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:00,400
North American Indian, sweat, 
lodge. 

463
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,800
Absolutely, we had a sweat and I
had an out-of-body experience. 

464
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:07,500
And I went back to being I flew 
and flew and went back to being 

465
00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:10,200
five years old which was before 
my loss of Innocence. 

466
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:13,700
When I was six. 
My dad God Rest his soul and I 

467
00:24:13,708 --> 00:24:16,700
love my dad but my dad lost his 
temper and beat me up when I was

468
00:24:16,700 --> 00:24:19,600
six and at that, that's when I 
first started to think, I'm not 

469
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:21,300
good enough. 
Oh boy. 

470
00:24:21,700 --> 00:24:24,100
But prior to that, I was gonna 
Another was fine. 

471
00:24:24,100 --> 00:24:27,100
I was innocent Age of Innocence 
so I went to five and I had this

472
00:24:27,100 --> 00:24:30,000
out-of-body experience. 
Then I had a very prophetic 

473
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:33,500
dream and then I realized I woke
up the next day and I realized, 

474
00:24:33,500 --> 00:24:36,500
oh my god, I've got this deep 
deep belief that I'm not good 

475
00:24:36,500 --> 00:24:40,300
enough, right? 
And so then I manifested into my

476
00:24:40,300 --> 00:24:43,700
life, I would sabotage, my 
success, I sabotaged my 

477
00:24:43,700 --> 00:24:46,800
marriage. 
I sabotaged my sexual ability, I

478
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,600
did all of these things to back 
up the belief that I didn't 

479
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:52,800
deserve happiness, success, 
abundance, all these things 

480
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:54,600
right? 
So I was like, wow, I'm going to

481
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:57,000
change this. 
I started reading books on the 

482
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,900
plasticity of the mind and how 
we actually change on your 

483
00:24:59,900 --> 00:25:01,800
jewelry spends a guy. 
Yeah man. 

484
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:05,300
Well, that was one of the books 
I read and I just went to work. 

485
00:25:05,700 --> 00:25:08,700
Yeah, I just went to work on 
myself every single day. 

486
00:25:08,700 --> 00:25:11,400
Firing those neurons 
repetitively over and over and 

487
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:13,900
over and over again. 
I'm enough just the way I am. 

488
00:25:13,900 --> 00:25:15,800
I'm enough just the way am. 
I said it? 

489
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,400
Millions of times and over the 
course of a year of high 

490
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:21,600
repetition of this changing. 
My neurology, I started to 

491
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:23,300
believe my own hype and 
everything changed. 

492
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:26,500
Dude, so that's how there you 
go. 

493
00:25:26,500 --> 00:25:29,200
That's a long answer to your 
question, but that's how I went 

494
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:33,900
from this dysfunction to, then 
the healing and then attracting 

495
00:25:33,900 --> 00:25:36,600
a woman into my life. 
We have a stunningly conscious 

496
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:39,500
relationship, it's really quite 
astounding everyday. 

497
00:25:39,500 --> 00:25:42,400
I pinch myself to this 
relationship and she came into 

498
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:48,000
my life, and she thinks I'm 
amazing in every way and we 

499
00:25:48,100 --> 00:25:51,400
have, you know, the sexual 
healing occurred, and our 

500
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:54,100
lovemaking is next level do. 
That's really The beautiful and 

501
00:25:54,100 --> 00:25:56,600
tantric and connected, and 
spiritual, and wonderful, and 

502
00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:59,600
yeah, you know, awesome. 
So, yeah. 

503
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:03,800
Well, and I think about the side
effects that have come with the 

504
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:07,300
work that you have done. 
I don't believe had you not gone

505
00:26:07,300 --> 00:26:10,600
through this experience and 
process. 

506
00:26:12,100 --> 00:26:14,500
I mean, let me, let me throw it 
out there. 

507
00:26:14,500 --> 00:26:16,800
Would you even know what 
conscious communication is if 

508
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:20,700
you come in through that? 
I mean, no, no, it's completely 

509
00:26:20,700 --> 00:26:23,100
things. 
I completely and I wouldn't be 

510
00:26:23,100 --> 00:26:26,200
the Coach that I am, you know, 
and I wouldn't be the speaker 

511
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:29,300
that I am, and at the author and
all the things that I'm doing 

512
00:26:29,300 --> 00:26:32,800
now because I'm like, you man. 
I'm so on a mission, you know, 

513
00:26:32,900 --> 00:26:38,100
and this Mission drives me every
day and I wouldn't have the, I 

514
00:26:38,108 --> 00:26:40,400
wouldn't be me to be able to do 
what I'm doing now if I hadn't 

515
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:43,000
gone through everything I've 
gone through, so absolutely no 

516
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:47,400
regrets and anything I can do to
help anyone who's stuck, you 

517
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,900
know, in struggle if they want 
it. 

518
00:26:49,900 --> 00:26:52,600
I'm certainly not an evangelist,
I ain't go and I'm not telling 

519
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:55,600
anyone what to If I don't want 
to know but if someone says to 

520
00:26:55,600 --> 00:27:00,200
me hey Jim, I'm really curious 
I'll talk for hours about it and

521
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,800
I'm grateful for that. 
You're already helping people 

522
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:09,300
who are hearing this right now. 
I'm I'm super excited that that 

523
00:27:09,300 --> 00:27:11,500
our paths have connected because
I don't believe it's going to be

524
00:27:11,500 --> 00:27:14,900
the last time. 
You know, I want to move to the 

525
00:27:14,900 --> 00:27:19,000
to the communication side of 
things because it is it is the 

526
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,700
idea of conscious communication,
the art of conscious 

527
00:27:21,700 --> 00:27:24,000
communication, that's the name 
of the book and and program, 

528
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:27,200
you've got a master mind group 
or a master class to help do 

529
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:30,700
this with leaders that is coming
out a lot of exciting things. 

530
00:27:30,700 --> 00:27:35,800
The the Ted Talk, all the things
that you do around this idea. 

531
00:27:35,900 --> 00:27:39,100
Let's, let's go right to base 
camp. 

532
00:27:39,100 --> 00:27:41,700
What is conscious communication 
to you? 

533
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:44,800
In? 
Its most simple form being more 

534
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:46,800
conscious of something is being 
more aware of it. 

535
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:50,100
So the moral conscious, we are 
of anything, the more aware we 

536
00:27:50,100 --> 00:27:55,100
are of it and and communication 
really is Underpins our ability 

537
00:27:55,100 --> 00:27:58,500
as a species to do anything 
right? 

538
00:27:58,500 --> 00:28:01,300
Whether it's taken idea and 
manifested into reality 

539
00:28:01,500 --> 00:28:04,100
Einstein's. 
Brilliant understandings of the 

540
00:28:04,100 --> 00:28:06,500
mechanics of the universe would 
have meant nothing, if he 

541
00:28:06,500 --> 00:28:08,400
couldn't communicate them, 
right? 

542
00:28:09,700 --> 00:28:12,300
Wouldn't have meant anything, 
you know? 

543
00:28:12,300 --> 00:28:15,400
So to take an idea and manifest 
it into reality, it hundred 

544
00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:18,800
percent needs communication for 
us to solve problems. 

545
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,600
You know, it we've got to do 
this through our ability to 

546
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:25,200
communicate and and you know, 
Having coached thousands and 

547
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:30,800
thousands of hours over the last
15 years for me the most common 

548
00:28:31,100 --> 00:28:34,600
sticking point or the most 
common place, where we trip 

549
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:37,500
over, whether it's in a 
relationship between two people 

550
00:28:37,500 --> 00:28:40,000
or whether it's in the 
relationship between a leader 

551
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:42,900
and a team or whether it's into 
departmentally within an 

552
00:28:42,900 --> 00:28:44,600
organization. 
We trip over in 

553
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:49,600
miscommunication. 
Yes, you know, and watch for 

554
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:50,900
that. 
Why do why do we do that? 

555
00:28:51,700 --> 00:28:53,100
Is it awareness? 
Yeah. 

556
00:28:53,300 --> 00:28:57,500
Look, I think the reason for it 
is because we are so completely 

557
00:28:59,100 --> 00:29:02,100
and under what you unaware. 
We're not even aware of this, 

558
00:29:02,100 --> 00:29:05,300
but we're so completely caught 
up and driven by our ego, our 

559
00:29:05,300 --> 00:29:09,300
sense of identity. 
Yeah, yeah, necessarily we have 

560
00:29:09,300 --> 00:29:10,600
to have an ego. 
It's not a bad thing. 

561
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:14,500
It's a part of being human and 
arguably it evolved with us as a

562
00:29:14,500 --> 00:29:18,100
species to to protect us and 
keep us here, right? 

563
00:29:18,300 --> 00:29:21,300
So we need to have a sense of 
identity, I get that, but when 

564
00:29:21,300 --> 00:29:24,200
we are unaware of our sense of 
identity, which is Erica when we

565
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:27,200
are unaware of it. 
It's driving the bus, right? 

566
00:29:27,500 --> 00:29:30,400
It's reacting, it's queuing up. 
You know, someone saying 

567
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:32,000
something. 
And if you disagree your you 

568
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:35,300
can't wait to and you might even
speak over the top of someone to

569
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:37,600
prove them wrong and prove 
yourself, right? 

570
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:40,400
That's all ego. 
You know this the watching 

571
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:44,000
people shouting at each other. 
Now you know like even with this

572
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:47,300
incident with the you know the 
Will Smith Chris Rock incident. 

573
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:50,200
Yep, which is what it is. 
But you and I were talking about

574
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,000
this before, it's just 
fascinating. 

575
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:55,000
That people are just Shadows. 
And each other, and this is 

576
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:56,500
what's right? 
And this is what's right and 

577
00:29:56,500 --> 00:29:59,700
this it's like, wow, that's all.
There you go. 

578
00:29:59,700 --> 00:30:02,400
That's all identity. 
That's all my way or the 

579
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:03,400
highway. 
Yeah. 

580
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:05,000
And that's, you know, and quite 
often. 

581
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:08,300
That's where we come unstuck, 
you know, and so I think being 

582
00:30:08,500 --> 00:30:12,500
conscious in communication being
more aware of the communication 

583
00:30:12,500 --> 00:30:14,900
itself. 
So communication is about as 

584
00:30:14,900 --> 00:30:17,000
coming together. 
It's about creating a common 

585
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,300
understanding of something. 
Doesn't mean you have to agree, 

586
00:30:19,300 --> 00:30:21,900
but it means that we can come to
a common understanding. 

587
00:30:22,100 --> 00:30:24,700
Yeah, right. 
Location is a sharing. 

588
00:30:25,100 --> 00:30:28,100
So if we're aware of the 
communication itself, if we're 

589
00:30:28,100 --> 00:30:30,900
serving the greater good of the 
communication, then it means 

590
00:30:30,900 --> 00:30:34,400
that we're putting ourselves a 
little bit to the side and and 

591
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:36,100
serving what's good for the 
greater good. 

592
00:30:36,100 --> 00:30:38,500
So we're here now and I'm 
listening to you say, and you've

593
00:30:38,500 --> 00:30:40,600
got something that you want me 
to understand. 

594
00:30:40,900 --> 00:30:44,200
It's going to serve for me to 
put my own opinion to the side 

595
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:48,700
for a little bit and really seek
to understand You know? 

596
00:30:48,700 --> 00:30:55,800
Yeah, I think about what you're 
saying and I think about how 

597
00:30:55,800 --> 00:31:00,500
when Life Starts going, and the 
plates are spinning and we're 

598
00:31:00,500 --> 00:31:04,700
moving from one thing to the 
other to the other and how easy 

599
00:31:04,700 --> 00:31:08,300
it is to slip away from what 
you're from. 

600
00:31:08,300 --> 00:31:12,100
From from the idea of that 
awareness of taking a second of 

601
00:31:12,100 --> 00:31:15,000
taking that moment to Just 
Breathe to let something sink in

602
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:21,100
to our Even through a pandemic. 
It's funny, you know, at the 

603
00:31:21,100 --> 00:31:24,600
beginning of the pandemic, I 
found that that there was a lot 

604
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:26,700
of that. 
There was a lot of old slowing 

605
00:31:26,700 --> 00:31:28,100
down. 
This is what the world needs. 

606
00:31:28,100 --> 00:31:31,700
I remember hearing that but but 
it's funny how it almost moved 

607
00:31:31,700 --> 00:31:34,600
that even though we weren't busy
outside of our houses, depending

608
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:38,800
on the region that we're from. 
But we still were we still got 

609
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:41,200
to that place where all those 
plates are spending and that's 

610
00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:45,500
all we were focused on and the 
lack of awareness. 

611
00:31:46,700 --> 00:31:49,600
Like what? 
What will it take for a shift to

612
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:51,500
happen? 
Is it one person at a time? 

613
00:31:51,700 --> 00:31:54,600
You know, kind of, kind of being
a beacon of light. 

614
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:58,000
When it comes to these things, 
is there a is there a, an 

615
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:01,900
experience that can happen, you 
know, corporately or with all of

616
00:32:01,900 --> 00:32:05,000
us as a group? 
What are some ways that we can? 

617
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:06,800
We can help be agents for change
for this. 

618
00:32:07,500 --> 00:32:09,400
Yeah. 
By having conversations like 

619
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:10,300
this. 
Yeah. 

620
00:32:10,700 --> 00:32:13,400
Super, super important more 
important than you would even 

621
00:32:14,100 --> 00:32:16,400
pay credit to people might 
think, are you just having a 

622
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:18,800
conversation? 
It's Station to the change that 

623
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:20,200
create change in a functional 
way. 

624
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:23,900
It's either conversate, it's 
either good solid conversations 

625
00:32:23,900 --> 00:32:26,900
or violence one of the other and
I'm a pacifist. 

626
00:32:26,900 --> 00:32:29,200
So the I'm not going to do the 
violence thing, right? 

627
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:33,200
I'm a pizza - yeah, good 
conversations but in terms of on

628
00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:36,400
a macro level, what creates 
change, pain, pain creates 

629
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:39,100
change, you know, and the pain 
of a pandemic, a global 

630
00:32:39,100 --> 00:32:44,900
pandemic, and, you know, as much
as mainstream media and news has

631
00:32:44,900 --> 00:32:48,400
us focus on all the negatives 
and A thing that's going wrong 

632
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:51,000
and how terrible the world is 
because that's what sells right 

633
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:54,300
and I haven't watched or 
consumed mainstream news for 

634
00:32:54,300 --> 00:32:58,300
more than 20 years and I'm still
here and I still know what's 

635
00:32:58,300 --> 00:33:01,600
going on but mainstream news 
will have us focus on that and 

636
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,400
have us believe. 
The world is a terrible place. 

637
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:07,300
It's actually not and do. 
There are lots of positive 

638
00:33:07,300 --> 00:33:11,100
people like you and your partner
doing this good work and the 

639
00:33:11,108 --> 00:33:13,900
more we connect and have 
conversations, the more that we 

640
00:33:13,900 --> 00:33:17,500
kind of draw the lines between 
these good solid movements and 

641
00:33:17,700 --> 00:33:20,500
Is change afoot, there are 
people creating change, you 

642
00:33:20,500 --> 00:33:23,000
know, I work most of my 
bread-and-butter work is 

643
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:25,400
coaching leaders in government 
departments, and in 

644
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:28,600
organizations, and in businesses
change is happening. 

645
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:30,000
You know, people are hungry for 
it. 

646
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:33,300
People want it, you know? 
So it's we're just got to keep 

647
00:33:33,300 --> 00:33:34,000
on. 
Right? 

648
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,600
Keep on and as an individual. 
What can you do? 

649
00:33:37,100 --> 00:33:39,500
Work on yourself? 
Yeah. 

650
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:43,000
Meditate, yes. 
Teach yourself to pause. 

651
00:33:44,100 --> 00:33:47,400
Teach yourself to let go of your
reactionary. 

652
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:50,500
Opinion on things, you know, 
when you're scrolling through 

653
00:33:50,500 --> 00:33:53,700
social media and you see someone
say something and you have a 

654
00:33:53,700 --> 00:33:56,800
reaction to that. 
Notice that reaction just put 

655
00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:58,900
the phone down for a second. 
Stop scrolling. 

656
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:04,300
And just sit and notice your 
mind racing to defend this idea 

657
00:34:04,300 --> 00:34:06,200
that you have about the way you 
think things should. 

658
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:09,300
But just notice it go, huh. 
That's interesting. 

659
00:34:09,300 --> 00:34:13,199
Isn't it that I'm so vehement. 
Lee opinionated already? 

660
00:34:13,500 --> 00:34:16,000
Yes. 
Teach yourself to pause. 

661
00:34:17,199 --> 00:34:20,000
I I don't know. 
Are you a Power of Now by 

662
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:21,000
Eckhart Tolle? 
Yeah. 

663
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:24,500
Yeah, completely. 
And 100%, you know, that I 

664
00:34:24,500 --> 00:34:26,600
reminded of that immediately 
reminded of two things. 

665
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:29,600
As you're as you're talking 
about this the activation and 

666
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:33,300
then, of course, solving of that
activation and and I love the 

667
00:34:33,300 --> 00:34:36,800
idea that our brain just think 
about your hand, right? 

668
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:39,199
Your hand is part of you but if 
you chop your hand off, you're 

669
00:34:39,199 --> 00:34:40,900
still here, right? 
Yeah. 

670
00:34:40,900 --> 00:34:44,000
And, and how he kind of marries 
the idea that your brain is 

671
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:47,500
something very similar to that 
and and you can separate your 

672
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:50,300
Yourself out and kind of get 
curious about your brain and 

673
00:34:50,300 --> 00:34:54,100
your thinking patterns, you 
know, the idea of of the getting

674
00:34:54,100 --> 00:34:58,600
activated, holy shit, somebody 
just said something about Will 

675
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:00,000
Smith was it was it was a good 
one. 

676
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:03,600
You know, what happened to me 
yesterday somebody said what a 

677
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:06,900
display of toxic masculinity and
blah blah blah blah blah blah 

678
00:35:06,900 --> 00:35:08,700
blah blah. 
Like they just they just fucking

679
00:35:08,700 --> 00:35:11,500
railed against him. 
And the yeah, it's like they put

680
00:35:11,500 --> 00:35:13,000
in a little box and said, okay, 
we're done. 

681
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:17,300
Now you're right and and I'm 
like, oh okay. 

682
00:35:17,300 --> 00:35:19,000
So That's the conversation, is 
it? 

683
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:24,500
And then, and I was sitting 
there going, okay, and I did 

684
00:35:24,500 --> 00:35:27,300
exactly that. 
I moved myself out and I started

685
00:35:27,300 --> 00:35:30,200
analyzing it and it's like, one 
of the things that I came up 

686
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:32,900
with is I'm afraid to respond, 
which is. 

687
00:35:32,900 --> 00:35:34,700
Yeah. 
And and that's actually what. 

688
00:35:34,700 --> 00:35:38,000
I ended up telling her I 
actually said to her, I'm afraid

689
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,500
like I didn't take it on, it was
off social media. 

690
00:35:40,500 --> 00:35:43,100
We went to direct message I said
and she's someone that I know 

691
00:35:43,100 --> 00:35:45,100
and trust and respect a great 
deal. 

692
00:35:45,300 --> 00:35:48,800
Yeah, sure. 
I said, you know, I am afraid. 

693
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:53,000
I'm actually scared to return 
than anything that disagrees 

694
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:54,600
with anything that you're saying
here. 

695
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:56,700
Yeah. 
And we talked about, we unpacked

696
00:35:56,700 --> 00:35:59,300
it and we went down this path 
and I was analyzing that fear. 

697
00:35:59,300 --> 00:36:03,800
I was curious about that we can 
play with this and we can get 

698
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:09,100
curious about about about stuff 
when we and again, it's a 

699
00:36:09,107 --> 00:36:11,000
different type of awareness, but
we just got to be. 

700
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:12,500
We just gotta wake up. 
We got to be like a little 

701
00:36:12,500 --> 00:36:13,800
groundhog that pops his head 
out. 

702
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,400
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 
Yeah. 

703
00:36:16,700 --> 00:36:17,400
Yeah. 
That you're right. 

704
00:36:17,500 --> 00:36:20,400
Exactly. 
Yeah, it's so true and then it's

705
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:22,000
a practice, right? 
You don't kind of out. 

706
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,600
The groundhog doesn't just kind 
of Pop his head up once and go, 

707
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:27,400
oh, there's the big wide world 
and then go back down again and 

708
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:30,100
forget, you know, we need we 
need to create habitual 

709
00:36:30,100 --> 00:36:34,100
perspectives and habitual 
practices that help us do this 

710
00:36:34,100 --> 00:36:40,600
because you know, we slip into 
eyes closed organically and 

711
00:36:40,607 --> 00:36:42,900
naturally. 
It's what we do we go into we go

712
00:36:42,900 --> 00:36:47,800
into you know operational mode 
and the subconscious is Being 

713
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:50,600
most of what we do and that's 
fine. 

714
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:52,700
That's okay, that's functional. 
You know, I'm walking to the 

715
00:36:52,700 --> 00:36:57,100
car, I'm not conscious of every 
single thing, every single time 

716
00:36:57,100 --> 00:36:58,900
I'm moving through everything 
that single moment. 

717
00:36:58,900 --> 00:37:01,000
That's not the point. 
You know, I think being 

718
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:02,500
unconscious is functional as 
well. 

719
00:37:02,500 --> 00:37:04,500
We're going to cruise around and
get shit done, right? 

720
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:08,400
Yes, I just think that there's a
lot of opportunity, a lot of 

721
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:12,400
space for us to teach ourselves 
to be more present, more 

722
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:16,500
conscious, more aware, more 
often, you know, and it's super 

723
00:37:16,500 --> 00:37:18,500
functional. 
Communication. 

724
00:37:18,500 --> 00:37:20,700
That's what I'm talking about in
the book and there are 

725
00:37:20,700 --> 00:37:22,800
practices. 
You know, I meditate every every

726
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:26,100
morning it's become habitual for
me, I've integrated mindfulness 

727
00:37:26,100 --> 00:37:30,800
into my day-to-day, you know, 
there's a habit, stacking James 

728
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:34,800
Clear in that book or Atomic 
habits talks about it very 

729
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:37,000
simply. 
You want to create a new habit, 

730
00:37:37,100 --> 00:37:40,100
link it to an existing habit. 
So for example, brushing your 

731
00:37:40,100 --> 00:37:43,200
teeth put a sticky note next to 
your toothbrush on the mirror in

732
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:47,400
the bathroom that says pause or 
mindful mindfully, right? 

733
00:37:47,500 --> 00:37:48,700
Right. 
And then what happens is that, 

734
00:37:48,700 --> 00:37:50,600
every time you pick up your 
toothbrush, you're creating a 

735
00:37:50,607 --> 00:37:53,400
neural Association to take a 
pause and be mindful. 

736
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:55,900
Now, I don't have a sticky note 
next to my toothbrush. 

737
00:37:56,100 --> 00:37:58,400
Every time I pick up my 
toothbrush, I go into a 

738
00:37:58,408 --> 00:38:01,600
mindfulness, integrated 
mindfulness practice, right? 

739
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:03,000
It's the same with my coffee 
machine. 

740
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:04,400
I had one next to my coffee 
machine. 

741
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:07,900
Every time, I open my beans to 
go and dried my beans and make 

742
00:38:07,900 --> 00:38:09,300
my coffee, which is a little 
ritual. 

743
00:38:09,300 --> 00:38:11,500
I love in the morning. 
Every time I do that, now, I 

744
00:38:11,508 --> 00:38:13,800
don't have the sticky note but 
every time that lid comes off 

745
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:19,800
those beans, Pause and continue,
right? 

746
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:23,200
So we can start to create 
habitual practices. 

747
00:38:23,500 --> 00:38:27,500
That incentivize us, being more 
aware more conscious more often 

748
00:38:27,900 --> 00:38:30,100
absolutely are. 
Okay? 

749
00:38:30,100 --> 00:38:32,600
So I want to talk about two 
little things there. 

750
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:35,300
The first one is, I want to 
reinforce what you just said. 

751
00:38:35,300 --> 00:38:38,700
Now number one, it's very easy, 
it just picked for things that 

752
00:38:38,700 --> 00:38:42,400
you do constantly, you know, put
a little sticky note there, but 

753
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:45,100
let's take it for a second and 
say, what are we reminding 

754
00:38:45,100 --> 00:38:47,100
ourselves to do? 
Uh-huh. 

755
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:54,400
And the reality is what I just 
did there is actually the better

756
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:56,100
part. 
Yeah, it's great that we can 

757
00:38:56,100 --> 00:39:00,200
take our habits and do that. 
But just how easy is it to take 

758
00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:03,800
a second to take two or three 
deep breaths? 

759
00:39:04,500 --> 00:39:09,300
The Habit, stacking is amazing. 
And for our male logical Minds, 

760
00:39:09,300 --> 00:39:11,400
you know that like to compare 
compartmentalize and all that 

761
00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:13,200
stuff, that's a great way of 
learning how to do it. 

762
00:39:13,207 --> 00:39:16,300
But but what are we teaching 
ourselves how to do its Just 

763
00:39:16,300 --> 00:39:18,700
taking a pause. 
Yeah, yeah. 

764
00:39:18,700 --> 00:39:21,100
Talk about the power of the 
pause. 

765
00:39:21,100 --> 00:39:25,400
That's a thing right there. 
So it is just get into that 

766
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:29,600
place and it's so fucking easy. 
It's yeah, it is. 

767
00:39:29,900 --> 00:39:32,800
It is one of these deceptively 
simple. 

768
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:36,600
Yeah. 
How awful powerful habits to 

769
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:39,600
create the pause moment. 
I'm so glad you brought it up, 

770
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:42,200
dude. 
I, it's I bang on about the 

771
00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:44,100
pause moment. 
I first heard about this in 

772
00:39:44,100 --> 00:39:47,500
2014, I was at the Will mindful 
leader forum. 

773
00:39:47,500 --> 00:39:51,000
And there were awesome leaders 
from the World Bank and from 

774
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:55,200
Wall Street, and from politics 
politicians, you know, really 

775
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:59,200
successful leaders in the whole 
Forum was about mindfulness and 

776
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:02,200
the power of mindfulness. 
And this keynote speaker got up 

777
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:05,000
on the stage. 
He was a, he was quite short of 

778
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:09,400
stature unassuming quite humble,
but he just emanated this 

779
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:14,500
beautiful wise energy, right? 
And he walked up onto the stage 

780
00:40:14,500 --> 00:40:17,800
and the whole Auditorium just 
You could hear a pin drop and he

781
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:21,500
was projected up on this big 
massive screen behind him and he

782
00:40:21,508 --> 00:40:23,600
came up on the stage and it was 
just the right timing. 

783
00:40:23,900 --> 00:40:26,800
You know, you hear these wise 
words, but if it's not the right

784
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:28,500
time and you go, oh yeah, that's
kind of wise. 

785
00:40:28,500 --> 00:40:31,200
But you don't do anything with 
it and then sometimes it's just 

786
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:32,900
the right timing to hear 
something. 

787
00:40:33,100 --> 00:40:35,800
And this guy got up on stage and
there were two things that he 

788
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:40,000
said that really stuck with me. 
One of them was he said, no the 

789
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:41,500
work. 
He was talking about meditation.

790
00:40:41,500 --> 00:40:45,500
He said no the work but then he 
said do the work and that stuck 

791
00:40:45,500 --> 00:40:48,200
with me because Is at the time. 
I just started my coaching 

792
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:51,800
practice and I was prescribing 
meditation to my clients but I 

793
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:54,400
wasn't doing it regularly. 
I was doing it a bit here and 

794
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:57,000
there and that's when I went 
I'll shit, man, I've to have 

795
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:59,900
authenticity. 
I've got to do the work but the 

796
00:40:59,900 --> 00:41:02,800
second thing he said was pause 
often. 

797
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:07,800
Well, he said, pause often, and 
I went, wow, what does that 

798
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:11,200
mean? 
And I took that and I created 

799
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:15,200
what I call pause moments and so
I'll pause moment is very simply

800
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:19,900
stop what you're doing. 
Pause take a breath and just 

801
00:41:19,900 --> 00:41:23,600
notice what you can notice in 
that moment from just notice, 

802
00:41:24,100 --> 00:41:27,700
notice your heart rate, notice 
your breathing, notice? 

803
00:41:27,700 --> 00:41:29,700
Any Sensations, just what can 
you notice? 

804
00:41:29,900 --> 00:41:32,400
And then continue. 
Now this only takes three to 

805
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:35,400
five seconds. 
So, it's not, like, I've got a 

806
00:41:35,408 --> 00:41:38,000
dedicated, an extra half an hour
to meditating, and I don't have 

807
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,600
time to do that. 
My life to B know, it's three to

808
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:45,000
five seconds, right? 
And so I find really helpful 

809
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,500
times to pause is in between 
tasks. 

810
00:41:47,500 --> 00:41:49,600
So, I've just finished an email.
I'm about to go and put the 

811
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:53,100
kettle on pause. 
When I'm physically going 

812
00:41:53,100 --> 00:41:56,400
somewhere and walking to the car
halfway to the car stop. 

813
00:41:56,900 --> 00:42:00,400
Pause, especially when I'm 
running late. 

814
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:02,600
I'd personally don't like being 
late. 

815
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:05,000
It's a value of mine. 
I Don't mind if you're late to a

816
00:42:05,008 --> 00:42:07,200
meeting with me but I don't like
being late to the meeting. 

817
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:10,300
Yep, so if I'm running late and 
I'm racing these days, I'm 

818
00:42:10,300 --> 00:42:11,600
running late to a zoom meeting, 
right? 

819
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:13,600
So, I'm running late. 
I'm just about to open my 

820
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:22,200
laptop, pause take a breath. 
I can the laptop now, I'm only 

821
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:25,700
three seconds later than I would
have been otherwise, but I'm 

822
00:42:25,700 --> 00:42:29,000
showing up in a different state 
and these pores moments as you 

823
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:33,900
become, as they become familiar 
for you, there are little micro 

824
00:42:33,900 --> 00:42:37,800
recalibration back to your place
of equanimity, back to your calm

825
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:41,200
centeredness, like that. 
And you can go from being 

826
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:45,400
flustered to calm, you can go 
from being disappointed or 

827
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:48,400
frustrated or angry even up to 
come. 

828
00:42:48,900 --> 00:42:51,800
Like that, this is this is a 
superpower, dude. 

829
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:54,600
You're the driver of your own 
physiological bus now, right? 

830
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:57,400
You're not a victim to how 
you've reacted to something that

831
00:42:57,400 --> 00:42:59,500
someone said and now you're 
pissed off and now it's going to

832
00:42:59,508 --> 00:43:01,800
be one of those days and when it
rains it, pours and the whole 

833
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:03,800
thing goes. 
So no, no, no, no, you're not a 

834
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:06,100
victim to that anymore. 
You're like, no, no. 

835
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:11,100
I have something to say about my
physiological state of being in 

836
00:43:11,100 --> 00:43:15,100
this moment, which then dictates
the quality of what I'm doing, 

837
00:43:15,100 --> 00:43:16,800
which then, dictates my results,
right? 

838
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:20,300
So, I think it's Very 
understated man to come back to 

839
00:43:20,300 --> 00:43:22,200
it. 
Pause moments is massive. 

840
00:43:22,500 --> 00:43:29,200
Yeah it's a it's taking time to 
stop and and realize that you 

841
00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:34,300
are driving and and as opposed 
to, you know, there's there's 

842
00:43:34,300 --> 00:43:37,600
when you're present driving and 
you're just autonomic Lee 

843
00:43:37,607 --> 00:43:40,700
driving, you know, those are two
very different things. 

844
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:42,800
Yeah. 
I think about, you know, the 

845
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:45,300
Aaron that I ran this morning 
that it was, I was rushed for 

846
00:43:45,300 --> 00:43:48,700
and all that and I can't think 
of, you know anything Any 

847
00:43:48,700 --> 00:43:50,900
details on that trip? 
Who cross the street in front of

848
00:43:50,900 --> 00:43:54,200
me, or whatever. 
But when I'm actually present 

849
00:43:54,200 --> 00:43:57,300
and driving, I can remember the 
entire thing and those are two 

850
00:43:57,300 --> 00:43:59,200
completely different states of 
mind. 

851
00:43:59,900 --> 00:44:03,400
You, you know, this is, it's not
just about literally driving, 

852
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:06,900
it's about, you take a pause and
then you realize, oh, okay, you 

853
00:44:06,900 --> 00:44:10,300
are driving. 
And, and you can handle when 

854
00:44:10,300 --> 00:44:13,100
your spouse is coming down on 
you and maybe they're activated 

855
00:44:13,100 --> 00:44:15,200
in your whatever you can handle 
that. 

856
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:18,900
You are driving. 
You don't have to up the T? 

857
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:23,300
Yeah, work any of this stuff. 
You can you can you can let that

858
00:44:23,300 --> 00:44:26,800
frustration all just melt away. 
Yeah, whatever. 

859
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:29,600
Frustration it is. 
You can add and pausing like you

860
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:30,700
say, it's a superpower. 
Yeah. 

861
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:35,400
And it is, I think pausing is an
essential step in a process. 

862
00:44:36,300 --> 00:44:41,500
To remember that your ego was 
driving and your ego is 

863
00:44:41,500 --> 00:44:45,100
defensive and your ego is 
justifying Its Behavior and 

864
00:44:45,100 --> 00:44:50,600
judging and trying to, you know,
Reaffirm its sense of who it 

865
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:53,700
thinks it is but and its ideas 
and it's ways and my way kind of

866
00:44:53,700 --> 00:44:56,100
thing. 
So creating the habit of pausing

867
00:44:56,100 --> 00:45:00,600
gives you a moment to go. 
He go look at you go, you 

868
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:02,600
desperate. 
You're desperate right now, but 

869
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:05,300
we're safe. 
There's no lion coming to eat 

870
00:45:05,300 --> 00:45:07,500
us. 
We're not actually in danger 

871
00:45:07,500 --> 00:45:11,100
right now. 
Yes, your your wife just asked 

872
00:45:11,100 --> 00:45:12,700
you why? 
You haven't cleaned the kitchen?

873
00:45:12,700 --> 00:45:15,800
That's all. 
Yeah, and you were there going. 

874
00:45:15,900 --> 00:45:18,300
Yeah well and, you know, I have 
to get to it. 

875
00:45:18,500 --> 00:45:22,300
And I'm not sure why I didn't 
clean the kitchen and my ego is 

876
00:45:22,300 --> 00:45:25,800
defending like it's life and 
death and it's like if you can 

877
00:45:25,900 --> 00:45:28,700
just create that moment when 
your when your wife has said, oh

878
00:45:28,700 --> 00:45:31,400
hey honey I'm why haven't you 
cleaned the kitchen if you can 

879
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:36,700
just create that moment ago. 
Pause and Listen to Your Ego 

880
00:45:36,700 --> 00:45:38,800
going. 
Tell her why blah blah blah and 

881
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:42,700
just go he go look at you go 
brother. 

882
00:45:42,900 --> 00:45:45,100
We're safe. 
No lion coming to eat us right 

883
00:45:45,100 --> 00:45:47,700
now. 
Just take a breath notice and 

884
00:45:47,700 --> 00:45:51,100
now talk about why you haven't 
done the kitchen yet but you 

885
00:45:51,100 --> 00:45:53,900
just don't need that edge of 
defensiveness, you know? 

886
00:45:53,900 --> 00:45:57,400
Yeah, I am grateful. 
How much and I mean, we didn't 

887
00:45:57,400 --> 00:46:00,000
talk about this beforehand 
intentionally because if we 

888
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:02,500
would have, we would have been 
able to replicate it, and I had 

889
00:46:02,500 --> 00:46:05,400
talked about that at the moment.
Got on here it was like a very 

890
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:08,700
known pre-interview so I didn't 
know you're going to talk about 

891
00:46:08,700 --> 00:46:11,400
the ego today and I'm glad you 
did because I think that the ego

892
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:14,600
gets a bad rap. 
I think that the ego is 

893
00:46:14,600 --> 00:46:16,200
misunderstood by a lot of 
people. 

894
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:19,700
I think there are some people 
who think that the goal should 

895
00:46:19,700 --> 00:46:22,600
be to kill the ego. 
Yeah. 

896
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:27,200
To get rid of it locked. 
That's not it. 

897
00:46:27,300 --> 00:46:28,700
That's not bad, right? 
Yeah. 

898
00:46:28,700 --> 00:46:31,100
Good lucky. 
You try and kill the ego you. 

899
00:46:31,100 --> 00:46:33,600
Good luck. 
You take the ego will take the 

900
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:35,100
gloves. 
He's off and then you're really 

901
00:46:35,100 --> 00:46:39,000
going to have a disturbing in a 
dialogue, going on between you 

902
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:41,200
and your ego which is all a part
of you anyway. 

903
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:47,000
Right, right look II. 
My my way of of creating some 

904
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:48,900
functionality around identity 
and ego. 

905
00:46:48,900 --> 00:46:51,200
There's a few different things 
that I do, but one of them is 

906
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:55,500
that when I have a conversation 
in my head with my ego which 

907
00:46:55,500 --> 00:46:58,700
might sound crazy but it's it's 
it just is what it is. 

908
00:46:58,900 --> 00:47:01,700
I go there with love I go they 
would love, you know, when I 

909
00:47:01,707 --> 00:47:05,700
noticed my ego because our ego 
wants to Justify wants to judge 

910
00:47:05,700 --> 00:47:09,000
its desperate to be right. 
You know that that part of you 

911
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:11,900
that goes I told you so you said
it was on the 15th of November. 

912
00:47:11,900 --> 00:47:14,700
I told you was on the 13th right
that need to go right. 

913
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:16,900
Yep. 
You know, it hates looking 

914
00:47:16,900 --> 00:47:19,700
stupid, really hates it. 
All of these things is ego 

915
00:47:19,700 --> 00:47:24,400
things. 
When I notice my ego driving, I 

916
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:27,800
just call it out with love. 
He got look at you go. 

917
00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:31,000
Bless your cotton socks. 
Trying to keep us safe. 

918
00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:33,400
Shit, out of me like you're 
playing a lion. 

919
00:47:34,100 --> 00:47:34,700
Yeah. 
Right. 

920
00:47:34,700 --> 00:47:36,400
Exactly. 
Like you're petting a lion? 

921
00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:39,600
Yeah, calming it down. 
Hey, I'm glad I'm glad you're 

922
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:42,400
part of me and I know you've got
my best interests at heart. 

923
00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:45,500
It's okay. 
But, and you can carry on even 

924
00:47:45,500 --> 00:47:49,000
if you want ego as a voice, in 
my head, justifying our Behavior

925
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:50,800
carry on. 
I'm not even going to try and 

926
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:53,700
stop you but I've got your 
number, mmm, right. 

927
00:47:53,700 --> 00:47:56,200
I'm just shining a light on it 
and it dissipates. 

928
00:47:56,300 --> 00:47:58,800
It goes row, row row, row, row 
row row. 

929
00:47:59,300 --> 00:48:04,800
Oh, that did it, did it. 
And then I can pause Then I can 

930
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:07,300
respond rather than react, 
right? 

931
00:48:07,300 --> 00:48:10,100
So this is one of those things 
with the ego is just to have 

932
00:48:10,100 --> 00:48:16,200
some awareness around it. 
I hate that that this goes so 

933
00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:17,700
quickly I love that. 
It goes so quickly because it 

934
00:48:17,700 --> 00:48:19,000
means we're in the flow and the 
street. 

935
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:22,200
Yeah well that I before we 
before we sign off we got to 

936
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:23,600
talk a little bit about your Ted
talk. 

937
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:29,600
I'm fascinated by it, you know, 
obviously you take articulate. 

938
00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:31,800
I think that I'm articulate 
sometimes and then I watched 

939
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:34,400
your Ted Talk and it's like I 
got a long way to To go. 

940
00:48:34,700 --> 00:48:39,000
It was literally, I watched your
Ted Talk and we're talking ten 

941
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:42,500
minutes, folks, gem, Fuller, Ted
Talk. 

942
00:48:42,500 --> 00:48:44,600
That's all you got to Google. 
You will find him. 

943
00:48:44,900 --> 00:48:49,200
And and you will have ten 
minutes that are extremely worth

944
00:48:49,700 --> 00:48:52,100
much more than the time that 
they take to you. 

945
00:48:52,900 --> 00:48:56,300
I want to talk about that 
because you articulated, I can 

946
00:48:56,300 --> 00:49:00,100
only imagine the preparation 
that must have been done for 

947
00:49:00,100 --> 00:49:03,800
that because it was every bit, 
as I use the word info task. 

948
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:07,200
When somebody can actually teach
me something and do it in a way 

949
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:11,500
that compels me, I love it. 
You were info tastic, but you 

950
00:49:11,500 --> 00:49:17,300
were also poetic the vocabulary,
the alliteration and the 

951
00:49:17,300 --> 00:49:22,100
delivery of all of those things 
in one were phenomenal. 

952
00:49:23,100 --> 00:49:26,000
How long did it take you to prep
that talk? 

953
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:30,900
And how special was that taught 
compared to a coaching session? 

954
00:49:30,900 --> 00:49:33,800
That that you do? 
I mean, was it was it weeks of 

955
00:49:33,900 --> 00:49:36,600
Rehearsal, like you were 
rehearsing, you know, the 

956
00:49:36,600 --> 00:49:39,600
barters as, you know, Shake Ya 
Yin experience. 

957
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:42,800
I yeah, I rush it as a spoken 
word. 

958
00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:44,800
So I wrote it as a performance 
piece. 

959
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:48,700
I've been, I've been writing 
poetry and songs since I was 15 

960
00:49:48,800 --> 00:49:53,000
and I met 50. 
So, I love the expression 

961
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:56,600
through word and song. 
So I wrote it as a performance 

962
00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:59,600
piece, as a spoken word, and 
then I learnt it verbatim. 

963
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:03,300
And it that took me maybe a 
month before shooting it of just

964
00:50:03,300 --> 00:50:04,900
reading it over. 
And over and over, and over, and

965
00:50:04,900 --> 00:50:08,700
over and over again. 
And the timing is important to 

966
00:50:08,700 --> 00:50:11,500
me, you know, I did study 
Shakespeare when I was at drama 

967
00:50:11,500 --> 00:50:13,800
school and pentameter is 
important. 

968
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:15,900
Timing is important, pauses are 
important. 

969
00:50:15,900 --> 00:50:21,100
So it was all very intentional 
and and then I hope that it 

970
00:50:21,100 --> 00:50:23,300
didn't come across to 
intentional as well. 

971
00:50:23,300 --> 00:50:24,900
I mean, it is what it is. 
It's there, right? 

972
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:30,300
But we shot it in lockdown and 
where I, where I am in 

973
00:50:30,300 --> 00:50:34,200
Australia, like some of the 
regions in Canada, we've Had the

974
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:37,000
longest lockdown periods 
globally. 

975
00:50:37,900 --> 00:50:41,900
I mean in Victoria Australia. 
We were locked down for most of 

976
00:50:41,900 --> 00:50:45,700
two years, so I couldn't have an
audience but it was an 

977
00:50:45,700 --> 00:50:49,100
opportunity that my book 
publisher had presented for me 

978
00:50:49,100 --> 00:50:51,400
to do a tedx talk. 
And I'm like, wow, that's that's

979
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:54,300
a big opportunity and I noticed 
some people doing their tedx 

980
00:50:54,300 --> 00:50:57,200
talks in lockdown and they would
just get a webcam in their 

981
00:50:57,200 --> 00:51:00,400
office and do a green screen, 
Ted sign and that's what they 

982
00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:02,000
did. 
I didn't want to do that. 

983
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:05,300
I thought this might be the only
chance To do a tedx talk. 

984
00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:08,100
So I'm going to invest I went 
and had that sign made 

985
00:51:08,100 --> 00:51:10,000
professionally. 
I hired a theater. 

986
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:13,500
I've got hired a film crew. 
I did it as best I could I 

987
00:51:13,500 --> 00:51:15,100
rehearsed it. 
I learnt it. 

988
00:51:15,300 --> 00:51:18,000
I performed it. 
So I made it means the world to 

989
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:22,000
me that you really appreciate it
because I invested a lot of time

990
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:24,800
energy and money into it. 
So I'm really glad that you 

991
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:27,400
appreciate it. 
And obviously, I'm passionate 

992
00:51:27,400 --> 00:51:30,300
about the messages in there. 
And, you know, I'm a father of 

993
00:51:30,300 --> 00:51:33,000
teenage boys. 
My older boy just turned 18 last

994
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:35,600
week and my other The boy will 
be turning 16 soon. 

995
00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:40,500
And I'm watching these young 
boys become men and and I 

996
00:51:40,500 --> 00:51:45,700
believe it as men and parents 
and women all of us we have a 

997
00:51:45,700 --> 00:51:50,100
big responsibility to do what we
can to help create a better 

998
00:51:50,100 --> 00:51:52,000
generation, you know? 
This is evolution right? 

999
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:54,900
We should be looking to how we 
can improve, you know, and I'm a

1000
00:51:54,900 --> 00:51:59,300
massive, massive Champion, 
massive champion of anybody who 

1001
00:51:59,300 --> 00:52:02,800
is fighting the fight to have 
more women in decision-making 

1002
00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:05,400
roles because We need that 
globally. 

1003
00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:09,400
We need more women in 
decision-making roles, but with 

1004
00:52:09,400 --> 00:52:11,800
that, there's no point in 
putting women into 

1005
00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:14,600
decision-making roles. 
If the only way they can succeed

1006
00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:17,700
in those roles is to switch on 
their masculine and play this 

1007
00:52:17,900 --> 00:52:22,100
masculine game. 
We need to change the game, we 

1008
00:52:22,100 --> 00:52:24,700
need to change the game so there
needs to be two things going on.

1009
00:52:24,700 --> 00:52:27,900
We need to be empowering and 
creating opportunities for women

1010
00:52:27,900 --> 00:52:32,100
to have an equal share of 
running a world. 

1011
00:52:32,100 --> 00:52:35,600
We don't need it, but accessing 
their feminine wisdom, their 

1012
00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:39,500
feminine feminine intuition, 
their feminine power and Men. 

1013
00:52:39,900 --> 00:52:43,000
We need to show men that they've
got access to feminine energy as

1014
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:44,900
well. 
Feminine intuition, feminine 

1015
00:52:44,900 --> 00:52:47,900
human-centric nurse but this, 
this kind of more Global 

1016
00:52:47,900 --> 00:52:50,100
nurturing caring. 
Can we just look after each 

1017
00:52:50,100 --> 00:52:52,200
other, while we do this? 
Why do we have to be horrible to

1018
00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:53,500
each other? 
To be successful? 

1019
00:52:53,500 --> 00:52:56,600
We don't, that's an old idea. 
We don't. 

1020
00:52:56,600 --> 00:52:59,800
We can actually be successful 
being considerate and kind to 

1021
00:52:59,800 --> 00:53:02,200
each other at the same time. 
Imagine that right. 

1022
00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:06,400
Wow, dude. 
Okay, I swear to God everybody 

1023
00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:09,600
we didn't talk about this 
beforehand in any way, shape, or

1024
00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:11,400
form. 
I'm going to talk about, he 

1025
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:15,300
changed it right now, a little 
bit because we get this, my wife

1026
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:17,400
is building. 
I mean, don't get me wrong. 

1027
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:21,500
She's got a team of people who 
are mostly men but there's a lot

1028
00:53:21,500 --> 00:53:23,400
of women who are involved in and
he changed it. 

1029
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:27,100
My wife is the founder of he 
changed it and and she gets it. 

1030
00:53:27,100 --> 00:53:30,300
Why the fuck is a woman building
a men's mental health, men's 

1031
00:53:30,300 --> 00:53:33,400
mental, Wellness app and, and 
she answers it the same way 

1032
00:53:33,400 --> 00:53:37,700
because He's a fucking Pro and 
and it's, it's old thinking that

1033
00:53:37,700 --> 00:53:40,800
says that, and she kills it with
kindness and love, but strength 

1034
00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:44,600
as well, I'm a mother and I 
don't enjoy the world that my 

1035
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:46,300
boys are inheriting. 
Yeah. 

1036
00:53:46,300 --> 00:53:48,600
And and, and talk about that. 
Feminine energy. 

1037
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:51,500
Talk about father and mother 
right now. 

1038
00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:54,700
Men need a mother. 
Yeah. 

1039
00:53:54,700 --> 00:53:57,900
And and you look at me to and 
cancel culture and all these 

1040
00:53:57,900 --> 00:54:03,500
things and and shame and and the
lack of vulnerability. 

1041
00:54:03,500 --> 00:54:06,700
The I'm talking about it. 
All of those things. 

1042
00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:11,500
This entire platform is based 
from a mother who doesn't like 

1043
00:54:11,500 --> 00:54:15,700
the world, her boys are 
inheriting and, and, and, and we

1044
00:54:15,700 --> 00:54:18,000
she's even not accepted 
investment money. 

1045
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:19,300
We're still bootstrap in this 
thing. 

1046
00:54:19,300 --> 00:54:23,300
It's a start that's being run 
out of our house because she 

1047
00:54:23,300 --> 00:54:27,700
won't even accept investment 
money from people who don't have

1048
00:54:27,700 --> 00:54:30,700
the vision of the mission 
Paramount. 

1049
00:54:30,700 --> 00:54:33,000
Yes, Prophet will come all these
things will come big. 

1050
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:35,200
Things will come from. 
It's a tech company of course 

1051
00:54:35,200 --> 00:54:37,500
they will. 
Yeah, nothing. 

1052
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:40,200
When it comes to that side of 
the business will supersede the 

1053
00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:46,800
mission of creating a world that
she can be okay to rest her 

1054
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:50,300
final rest that her boys are 
going to be all right? 

1055
00:54:50,300 --> 00:54:53,000
And and you saying that oh my 
God. 

1056
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:55,800
It just I cannot wait to have 
candy. 

1057
00:54:55,800 --> 00:55:00,300
Watch this conversation that we 
do today because that needs to 

1058
00:55:00,308 --> 00:55:03,300
be a message that more people 
need to talk about and and yeah 

1059
00:55:03,300 --> 00:55:07,500
I I can't believe you just said 
that we need to win it to work 

1060
00:55:07,500 --> 00:55:10,000
together, we need to work 
together as humans. 

1061
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:11,800
Yes. 
Right to improve this situation.

1062
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:14,700
This division thing doesn't 
work, you know, and it's 

1063
00:55:14,700 --> 00:55:17,400
interesting that your wife is 
setting this up. 

1064
00:55:17,500 --> 00:55:20,900
You know, I ran a woman's 
retreat in Bali and Indonesia 

1065
00:55:20,900 --> 00:55:23,600
for seven years before covid 
came and shut that down and I 

1066
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:26,200
will run it again. 
And I was a man facilitating and

1067
00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:29,700
holding space. 
Awesome women to come on Retreat

1068
00:55:29,700 --> 00:55:32,200
and it just wasn't even an issue
for me. 

1069
00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:34,100
I didn't even think about it. 
Someone had this Idea. 

1070
00:55:34,100 --> 00:55:35,300
And I just went. 
Yeah, that's a great idea. 

1071
00:55:35,300 --> 00:55:37,500
I'll go do it. 
You know, a female client of 

1072
00:55:37,500 --> 00:55:40,600
mine said, could you run your 
Himalaya Retreat, instead of 

1073
00:55:40,600 --> 00:55:42,600
running it in the mountains? 
Could you run it in a five-star 

1074
00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:43,600
Resort in Bali? 
And I went? 

1075
00:55:43,600 --> 00:55:46,300
Yeah, sure. 
So, I just started doing that, 

1076
00:55:46,600 --> 00:55:49,200
and it was a non-issue, but it 
was beautiful. 

1077
00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:52,200
And these all of the clients 
that have come over the years on

1078
00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:54,900
this Retreat would come up to me
and say, thank you. 

1079
00:55:54,900 --> 00:55:57,700
You held space so beautifully 
for us to be vulnerable, and 

1080
00:55:57,700 --> 00:56:02,500
powerful and, and, and to access
our inner wisdom and and 

1081
00:56:02,500 --> 00:56:06,400
Sensibility Our intuition and 
how we want to lead. 

1082
00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:09,400
Yes, so and so, yeah, 
absolutely. 

1083
00:56:09,400 --> 00:56:12,400
It makes complete sense to me 
that your wife is driving this 

1084
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:15,300
mission to make the world a 
better place for men. 

1085
00:56:15,900 --> 00:56:18,500
Yeah, well and I mean and 
there's you know, there's stuff 

1086
00:56:18,500 --> 00:56:21,300
coming down the pipe to I mean 
she's also a smart business lady

1087
00:56:21,300 --> 00:56:23,000
to she's got. 
You know, she changed. 

1088
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:25,700
It is sitting there we changed. 
It is sitting there thinking to 

1089
00:56:25,700 --> 00:56:31,600
the sitting there and then but 
yeah the dire situation and it 

1090
00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:34,000
is dire you know, World Health. 
Calls. 

1091
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:37,700
Mental Wellness is silent crisis
it dude greet. 

1092
00:56:37,700 --> 00:56:39,600
You know, suicides are 
middle-aged men. 

1093
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:40,800
Yeah. 
Yeah. 

1094
00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:43,600
And and 90 something percent of 
the world's violence is from 

1095
00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:45,300
men. 
Yes. 

1096
00:56:45,700 --> 00:56:48,700
Because they're not. 
Then, you know, if you, if you 

1097
00:56:48,700 --> 00:56:52,400
are operating beautifully 
internally, if you are healthy, 

1098
00:56:52,400 --> 00:56:54,800
if you are happy, if your sense 
of well-being is good, you're 

1099
00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:58,100
not violent. 
We only are we only we only act 

1100
00:56:58,100 --> 00:57:00,400
out violently when we're not 
happy about something. 

1101
00:57:00,700 --> 00:57:03,600
Only hurt people hurt. 
We need to help heal the hurt. 

1102
00:57:04,200 --> 00:57:07,700
You know what I mean? 
And so look I'm so glad you guys

1103
00:57:07,700 --> 00:57:08,900
are they're doing this thing 
man. 

1104
00:57:08,900 --> 00:57:10,600
You've got a champion over here 
in Australia. 

1105
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:14,000
I'm going to be singing your 
praises and spreading the word 

1106
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:17,000
as much as I can about. 
You guys are Jim, I appreciate 

1107
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:18,700
that. 
And again, I've had so many 

1108
00:57:18,700 --> 00:57:22,600
guests on this podcast where I 
just note them and know what it 

1109
00:57:22,600 --> 00:57:26,300
is that they're doing that when 
this thing blows up the 

1110
00:57:26,300 --> 00:57:29,000
Partnerships that will happen as
soon as soon as some of the 

1111
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:33,800
knuckleball stuff gets out of 
the gets out of the way, the The

1112
00:57:33,800 --> 00:57:38,600
ships that will happen and that 
will supercharge other folks is 

1113
00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:40,800
message. 
Yours is one of those you are 

1114
00:57:40,800 --> 00:57:45,100
one of those people gem like I 
am so grateful that that we had 

1115
00:57:45,100 --> 00:57:48,500
this conversation in are talking
about this today, for folks, 

1116
00:57:48,500 --> 00:57:52,000
who, appreciate where you're 
coming from, they like your 

1117
00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:55,300
Vibe. 
What's the best way for somebody

1118
00:57:55,300 --> 00:57:57,700
to follow you other than, you 
know, obviously, you can go to 

1119
00:57:57,700 --> 00:58:02,400
Jim Fuller.com, you can check 
out, you know, there's all of 

1120
00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:05,700
the resources that you have the 
Horses, things like that. 

1121
00:58:05,900 --> 00:58:08,600
The Ted Talk is there. 
If somebody wants to interact 

1122
00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:11,400
with, you wants to do one-on-one
coaching sessions with you 

1123
00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:13,500
things like that. 
What's the best way to get you 

1124
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:16,200
just day and met through any of 
those platforms? 

1125
00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:18,500
I'm Jim Fuller everywhere. 
So Jim Fuller on Insta and 

1126
00:58:18,500 --> 00:58:20,300
Linkedin, and Facebook and blah,
blah, blah. 

1127
00:58:20,300 --> 00:58:23,200
I don't do Twitter, I whatever 
it don't try and talk to me 

1128
00:58:23,200 --> 00:58:27,100
through to through Twitter. 
Email, me gem at Jim Fuller.com.

1129
00:58:27,200 --> 00:58:31,100
Good old-fashioned email. 
You can DME through in stir or 

1130
00:58:31,100 --> 00:58:33,600
Facebook and I'll get. 
It is just gem Fuller, but 

1131
00:58:33,700 --> 00:58:36,200
Please reach out. 
Like you said, Mike we're 

1132
00:58:36,200 --> 00:58:39,100
putting together a mastermind 
course for leaders and 

1133
00:58:39,100 --> 00:58:41,500
communication. 
And that's going to be really, 

1134
00:58:41,500 --> 00:58:43,200
really awesome. 
I love working with leaders 

1135
00:58:43,200 --> 00:58:44,900
because leaders have a ripple 
effect. 

1136
00:58:44,900 --> 00:58:48,000
So if we help a leader bit more 
conscious and better as a 

1137
00:58:48,008 --> 00:58:51,300
leader, then the positive ripple
effect goes, goes beautifully. 

1138
00:58:51,400 --> 00:58:53,500
So reach out to me, Janet Jim 
Fuller.com. 

1139
00:58:53,500 --> 00:58:56,600
Shoot me, an e-mail, or DME 
through Instagram, and and we'll

1140
00:58:56,600 --> 00:58:59,400
get in touch. 
I'm still very accessible and I 

1141
00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:01,600
pride myself on being able to 
get back to people. 

1142
00:59:01,600 --> 00:59:03,600
So you will get a message back 
from me. 

1143
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:07,600
And all my business manager but 
it'll probably be me. 

1144
00:59:07,600 --> 00:59:09,100
She'll forward it, to me and 
say, hey, gem. 

1145
00:59:09,100 --> 00:59:11,800
This person's trying to get in 
touch with you and I'll reach 

1146
00:59:11,800 --> 00:59:13,100
out. 
So let's let's start it. 

1147
00:59:13,100 --> 00:59:17,000
And I believe to Mike that it is
through connection and it is 

1148
00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:20,400
through collaboration that we 
create multiplying situations. 

1149
00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:24,700
So one plus one equals way more 
than two and and, and together 

1150
00:59:24,700 --> 00:59:29,100
if we keep doing this, we can 
actually create positive. 

1151
00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:39,200
Are you still there, buddy? 
You Frozen on my end. 

1152
00:59:41,200 --> 00:59:43,100
Oh my gosh, right at the very 
end. 

1153
00:59:47,600 --> 00:59:55,100
Buddy, are you there? 
Oh man. 

1154
00:59:56,600 --> 00:59:59,900
Okay, well, we're still 
recording on our end. 

1155
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:03,300
So what I'm going to do is I'm 
going to finish up with that 

1156
01:00:03,300 --> 01:00:06,600
sentence right there. 
And say, okay, I couldn't agree 

1157
01:00:06,600 --> 01:00:10,600
more, we can definitely, 
definitely create positive 

1158
01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:12,300
change. 
We can do it on a worldwide 

1159
01:00:12,300 --> 01:00:15,800
scale and I can't tell you how 
grateful I am to have, had you 

1160
01:00:15,800 --> 01:00:22,100
here gem gem at Jim Fuller.com. 
I'm so grateful for this podcast

1161
01:00:22,100 --> 01:00:27,000
today and everything that that 
gem is doing in the World. 

1162
01:00:27,200 --> 01:00:30,400
I'm just this is why we do what 
we do. 

1163
01:00:30,400 --> 01:00:32,800
Oh, there, are you back Jim? 
I'm back, man. 

1164
01:00:33,100 --> 01:00:34,500
Okay, I don't know what 
happened. 

1165
01:00:35,200 --> 01:00:37,800
I think it was my end was it? 
I okay. 

1166
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:40,200
No no. 
That's we can we can edit right?

1167
01:00:40,200 --> 01:00:43,400
Oh yeah we can we can we can 
totally edit this and what and 

1168
01:00:43,408 --> 01:00:48,700
we will but at the end of the 
day, I could not agree more with

1169
01:00:48,700 --> 01:00:51,600
what you're saying, 
multiplication that can happen, 

1170
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:56,400
we can change the world and and 
anybody who tells us that we We 

1171
01:00:56,408 --> 01:01:01,200
can't change the whole fucking 
world and be a beacon for light.

1172
01:01:01,200 --> 01:01:04,300
They aren't thinking big enough 
and they also aren't taking into

1173
01:01:04,300 --> 01:01:06,900
consideration. 
That there are many, many 

1174
01:01:06,900 --> 01:01:09,100
factors that have changed the 
world in the past. 

1175
01:01:09,100 --> 01:01:11,200
Why can't it be this Force for 
good, right? 

1176
01:01:11,300 --> 01:01:14,600
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. 
Matt just quickly, yeah, I know 

1177
01:01:14,600 --> 01:01:17,700
that we're running out of time, 
but another great book that I've

1178
01:01:17,707 --> 01:01:19,700
just read. 
Is Johann Hari. 

1179
01:01:19,700 --> 01:01:22,700
He's book, stolen Focus, highly 
recommend this book. 

1180
01:01:22,800 --> 01:01:26,200
He talks about change and that 
sometimes change seems 

1181
01:01:26,400 --> 01:01:30,800
Insurmountable right? 
So for example Led Led was being

1182
01:01:30,800 --> 01:01:34,100
used in our pencils and in our 
petrol and in our fuel and in 

1183
01:01:34,100 --> 01:01:37,300
our gasoline and and Lead was 
everywhere and it was terrible 

1184
01:01:37,300 --> 01:01:40,700
for us again killing us you 
know, it was one woman in the UK

1185
01:01:40,700 --> 01:01:44,200
one woman in the 80s, who 
started spearheading this 

1186
01:01:44,200 --> 01:01:48,700
campaign for us to take LED out 
of our paint and for us to take,

1187
01:01:48,700 --> 01:01:50,600
let out of our pencils and our 
petrol. 

1188
01:01:50,600 --> 01:01:53,900
This one woman shouted. 
So loudly and created a movement

1189
01:01:53,900 --> 01:01:57,300
and she created change, we don't
put lead in Our paint anymore, I

1190
01:01:57,300 --> 01:01:58,500
petrol, right? 
Yeah. 

1191
01:01:58,500 --> 01:02:01,700
It's the same with the, with the
women's movement before a 

1192
01:02:01,700 --> 01:02:04,300
handful of women stood up and 
went. 

1193
01:02:04,300 --> 01:02:05,700
No. 
Right? 

1194
01:02:05,800 --> 01:02:09,400
It was it was and still is to a 
large degree, but it's things 

1195
01:02:09,400 --> 01:02:12,100
are getting better, but it was 
very recently. 

1196
01:02:12,500 --> 01:02:16,200
Yes, a male-dominated world 
completely male, dominated 

1197
01:02:16,200 --> 01:02:19,300
everything in every structure 
was male-dominated, right? 

1198
01:02:19,300 --> 01:02:22,200
So it would have been very easy 
for people to go are we can't 

1199
01:02:22,200 --> 01:02:25,400
change that, right? 
But a handful of women went, 

1200
01:02:25,400 --> 01:02:28,900
we're going to give it a RedHot 
crack and that's what creates 

1201
01:02:28,900 --> 01:02:31,500
the change, right? 
So this idea now, that what 

1202
01:02:31,500 --> 01:02:34,100
you're saying are, we can't make
the world a better place. 

1203
01:02:34,100 --> 01:02:36,000
It's bullshit. 
We actually can. 

1204
01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:40,300
So, stand up, get up. 
Share this podcast, talk about 

1205
01:02:40,300 --> 01:02:43,800
it, read the book, get involved,
you know, the more of us that 

1206
01:02:43,800 --> 01:02:46,600
get involved and create a 
Groundswell, we will make the 

1207
01:02:46,607 --> 01:02:50,600
change. 
There is no better place to end 

1208
01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:52,800
this. 
Then there, I'm sad that we're 

1209
01:02:52,800 --> 01:02:55,600
ending it right now, but it's 
like, the Cowboys say they don't

1210
01:02:55,600 --> 01:02:57,100
say goodbye to. 
Each other, they say, see you 

1211
01:02:57,100 --> 01:02:59,400
later, that's what you. 
And I are going to do, we are 

1212
01:02:59,400 --> 01:03:02,400
brothers from another mother. 
Jim, I cannot thank you enough 

1213
01:03:02,400 --> 01:03:07,000
for, for starting your day with 
us today and I can't wait to see

1214
01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:08,300
what the future holds for all of
us. 

1215
01:03:08,300 --> 01:03:10,500
Thank you so much for being on. 
He casted a buddy. 

1216
01:03:11,000 --> 01:03:13,500
Yeah, thanks for having me, 
Mark, your you're a legend and 

1217
01:03:13,500 --> 01:03:15,800
I'm really glad I met you, my 
man. 

1218
01:03:15,800 --> 01:03:19,200
I right back at you. 
They go quick. 

1219
01:03:19,300 --> 01:03:21,400
Every single time we do, one of 
these things, they go. 

1220
01:03:21,400 --> 01:03:24,600
So fucking quick, but I'm very 
grateful for it. 

1221
01:03:24,600 --> 01:03:28,100
I'm grateful for everybody. 
Has reached out and talked about

1222
01:03:28,100 --> 01:03:31,600
how this has been such a 
positive experience for them and

1223
01:03:31,600 --> 01:03:35,100
they're changing their lives and
it just encourages us to no end 

1224
01:03:36,100 --> 01:03:39,000
you know we're taking things and
we're building them and soon 

1225
01:03:39,000 --> 01:03:41,000
there's going to be the 
magnifying glass, the megaphone 

1226
01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:44,100
whatever whatever analogy you 
want to use on what he changed 

1227
01:03:44,100 --> 01:03:47,900
his building and it is going to 
be once again please. 

1228
01:03:47,900 --> 01:03:50,700
So the he change it. 
Overlords don't get too mad at 

1229
01:03:50,700 --> 01:03:53,400
me. 
Please subscribe, please share 

1230
01:03:53,600 --> 01:03:56,200
and if you haven't downloaded 
the app, what the heck? 

1231
01:03:56,300 --> 01:04:00,200
Are you waiting for Jump On In? 
That is another episode of he 

1232
01:04:00,200 --> 01:04:02,900
cast the official podcast of he 
changed it. 

1233
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:05,200
My name is Mike Chisholm go 
change. 

1234
01:04:05,200 --> 01:04:05,800
Something