1 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:13,200 Welcome to. He cast the official podcast of 2 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:15,800 he changed it as always I am Mike Chisholm. 3 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:20,200 As always I am excited to be here to talk about all things. 4 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:25,300 Men's mental, Wellness, before we get going on here, I've got 5 00:00:25,300 --> 00:00:27,600 to be that broken record. We're not there yet. 6 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,800 I don't know how long it's gonna be until I can say. 7 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:33,100 Hey, if you like what you see, please like share, subscribe, 8 00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:35,400 all of that stuff. I don't know when the he changed 9 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:37,700 it. Overlords are going to give me 10 00:00:37,700 --> 00:00:40,000 relief from saying that but we're not there yet. 11 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:43,200 So if you like this program, please show. 12 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:47,100 So on whatever platform it is that you are in taking this 13 00:00:47,100 --> 00:00:49,100 plan. This this program please like 14 00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:50,300 please share, Please Subscribe, please. 15 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,900 Leave a positive. Comment we would love that. 16 00:00:52,900 --> 00:00:56,200 And of course, if you haven't downloaded the, he changed it 17 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:58,700 app yet. What the heck are you thinking? 18 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:04,200 It's To watch how many guys are being affected by this thing and 19 00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:09,100 what my wife and her team are building is it's exemplary, it's 20 00:01:09,100 --> 00:01:11,300 amazing. It's so needed in this world and 21 00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:13,900 I cannot wait for what's in store. 22 00:01:13,900 --> 00:01:16,500 There's lots of things coming in the heat change that universe, 23 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,300 that we are really, really excited to announce here. 24 00:01:19,300 --> 00:01:23,700 Moving forward, big things are happening and I just really 25 00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:25,700 grateful grateful to be part of this experience. 26 00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:29,100 It's a lot of fun. Now, I have talked a couple of 27 00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:33,000 times on this. Upon on this program about some 28 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:37,500 of the things that I do outside of of this I've talked about my 29 00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:39,300 career a little bit as a financial advisor. 30 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:41,900 I've talked about some of the other things that I've done in 31 00:01:41,908 --> 00:01:45,800 my background including been part of the pro wrestling 32 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:46,900 industry. That's right. 33 00:01:46,900 --> 00:01:48,100 We've talked about this in the past. 34 00:01:48,100 --> 00:01:52,800 We've had some guests on from the industry is well and the guy 35 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:55,200 that I'm going to have on today you can see, I'm already. 36 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,100 We've got it. So you can see both of us today 37 00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,600 playing around with the format. Seeing how things go. 38 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,300 What? Like and I just, I got to say 39 00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:05,900 the very, very first wrestling show that I was a part of from a 40 00:02:05,900 --> 00:02:08,600 professional standpoint on the business end of things. 41 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,700 It was a fundraiser that we were doing that people thought we 42 00:02:11,700 --> 00:02:14,100 were crazy, we were putting on an event called Kelowna 43 00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:16,900 Invasion. We brought in an old school, WWF 44 00:02:16,900 --> 00:02:19,900 wrestler called Brutus, The Barber, Beefcake, and people 45 00:02:19,900 --> 00:02:21,300 thought we were not. So we were using it as a 46 00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:25,600 fundraiser for BC at Children's Hospital and people thought we 47 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:28,700 were Bonkers doing this? What are you doing? 48 00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:29,800 You know, put on a golf tournament. 49 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:33,300 German or a walk like other you know, regular people do while 50 00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:36,600 we're not regular people so they weren't laughing anymore. 51 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:40,400 The next day when we raised well, over 15,000 dollars for 52 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:44,000 the BC Children's Hospital in one night, the guy who were 53 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:48,100 having on here today was a part of that night and many other 54 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:51,100 night since that wrestling promotion that little fundraiser 55 00:02:51,100 --> 00:02:54,300 that could went on to raise over a quarter million dollars for 56 00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:59,200 local charities in the run from 2013 to 2019 when we did that. 57 00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:03,000 And He was a part of most of those events. 58 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:07,800 I will tell you this the business model that we had was 59 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:14,100 we would bring in a WWE guy or an ex-wwe or WTF guy or gal and 60 00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:18,000 they would kind of be the draw and then we would use wrestlers 61 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:22,100 from the Pacific Northwest and the Lower Mainland of Canada, 62 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:26,100 you know, Vancouver area and then locally here where I'm from 63 00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:29,000 in the Okanagan and they would put on you know, it's all about 64 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:32,200 steak and sizzle. Do you know the the old WWE 65 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:33,800 wrestler? Many times would be the sizzle 66 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:38,500 but the steak had to be put on by the substance of the show, 67 00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:40,400 was put on by these amazing athletes. 68 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:43,100 These amazing storytellers and that's really what a pro 69 00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:44,700 wrestler is. Is there a Storyteller? 70 00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:49,100 They're able to take and manipulate emotions that are in 71 00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:54,500 the crowd and and create a story and really get the crowd around 72 00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:59,500 them to suspend their disbelief and put their emotion into what 73 00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:02,100 they're In front of them, it's like a live-action movie is 74 00:04:02,100 --> 00:04:05,600 really how it is and someone who's really good at this 75 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:09,700 business is really good at being able to manipulate these 76 00:04:09,700 --> 00:04:12,600 emotions and create these emotional responses of a crowd 77 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,400 live real-time. The guy that I am interviewing 78 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:18,700 today is a guy like I said, he was part of that original show 79 00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:24,700 and I would submit, that is one of the best pro wrestlers that 80 00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:26,800 you've never seen. And I'm just saying that if 81 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,000 you're not part of the geographic area that we are, 82 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,500 he's an independent Didn't independent pro wrestlers are 83 00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:33,900 some of the hardest working people that you'd ever want to 84 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:38,200 meet because they hold a career or a job many times while they 85 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:41,800 on the side bus, their butts quite literally. 86 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:45,100 And every other part of their body, for this art that they 87 00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:48,800 love so much. This desire to perform Jordi. 88 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:51,300 Taylor is a guy who has done that. 89 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:55,700 I've seen him do it, multiple multiple multiple times and it 90 00:04:55,700 --> 00:04:58,200 blurs, the line, man, when you see some of these performers, I 91 00:04:58,207 --> 00:04:59,800 think about actors and you said, Kim Coates. 92 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:03,800 Sons of Anarchy on he talked a lot about the idea of being an 93 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,400 actor. Me able to blur the line with 94 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:09,800 reality and fantasy pro. Wrestlers do it real time and 95 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:11,400 this is one of the best Jordi Taylor. 96 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,700 Thank you for taking time. To be part of he casted. 97 00:05:13,700 --> 00:05:15,400 A man. Thank you, bro. 98 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,100 I'm so much looking forward to it. 99 00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:20,300 I don't really do podcast. And this one is exactly the kind 100 00:05:20,300 --> 00:05:24,400 of that I was wanting to join. I guess it's a perfect way to 101 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:28,200 express the story and, like my story and help anyone that may 102 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:29,800 listen to. And that's, that's the main 103 00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:34,100 Point of like my path now is to just help people men and just 104 00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:37,200 like in general just like use my story, whatever the case to help 105 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,900 who's ever willing to listen in wanting to listen or needing the 106 00:05:39,900 --> 00:05:42,500 growth or the help at the time. Okay. 107 00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:46,100 Our first show was in 2013 with you and I would submit that the 108 00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:50,900 words you just said were not in the vocabulary of that guy that 109 00:05:50,900 --> 00:05:57,100 I met 2013, the journey that you have taken is extraordinary. 110 00:05:57,100 --> 00:05:59,700 We're going to get into that today and I'm excited. 111 00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:03,500 Out that let's talk a little bit about where you were though, 112 00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:06,800 because I think that to really appreciate where we are and 113 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:10,200 where we're going, we need to look back and say this is where 114 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:14,400 we were that guy in 2013 that I met, I mean, you're jacked right 115 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:17,400 now, that guy was Jack, you're intelligent guy now, you're 116 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:20,500 intelligent guy back then, but tell me a little bit about that 117 00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:26,700 guy versus the guy now. Well, I mean, in terms of 2013, 118 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:30,300 2011 is when I started my career and like, I I've always been a 119 00:06:30,308 --> 00:06:33,600 total pushover because my entire life, like I wasn't really seen 120 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:37,000 as a child or heard or like made to feel like loved or whatever 121 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,000 the case and it's no one's fault. 122 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,100 Right? It's like, it's all just, again, 123 00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:40,000 like, we're running our programs. 124 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:44,400 Like I said before we started. But, and 2012 2011, 2012, I just 125 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:46,400 kind of was like a pushover and I would let everybody walk over 126 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:50,500 top of me. So, on, in 2013 ish, I started 127 00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:53,300 using steroids because I was, like, I need to get big, he's 128 00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:54,700 got to be big to be a rest, all right. 129 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:56,700 Yeah, kind of made me, like so to the other end of the 130 00:06:56,707 --> 00:06:58,200 spectrum. So like I went from extremely 131 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:02,600 nice to kind of rude. Crazy and psycho and like all my 132 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:03,900 shit out a little bit, it's we're here. 133 00:07:03,900 --> 00:07:06,800 But yeah, what cement its immense podcast, you can say 134 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:11,300 whatever the hell we want to say absolutely during that time like 135 00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:15,900 2013 I was I was in the middle of like, my transformation of 136 00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:20,600 like, my first getting out of my, I was, I was getting away 137 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:22,300 from not being seen to being overseen. 138 00:07:22,300 --> 00:07:25,900 Like I was, it was, I was Overbearing. 139 00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:27,800 And like I was still kind of always been kind to people that 140 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,400 are kind back to me. Like I was always, I kind of 141 00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:32,600 just used it as a way to, like, get back at the people who were 142 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,100 rude to me, or didn't see again, didn't see me. 143 00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:36,400 Because I kind of had a thing with that. 144 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:40,000 But during that time like, you guys were basically, the only 145 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,800 promotion or only people like and I gotta get a lot of credits 146 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,100 or Credence to you. You and Rizzo, like we're the 147 00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:47,300 only people that would give me a chance when no one else really 148 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,500 would. So, it was like, those were the 149 00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:51,100 times, which were keeping the light at the end of the tunnel 150 00:07:51,100 --> 00:07:52,500 when I was in a pretty dark place. 151 00:07:54,900 --> 00:07:58,700 I'm very interested in this perspective and I appreciate you 152 00:07:58,700 --> 00:08:00,500 saying that it's not the first time you've said that to me. 153 00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:03,800 But in this context it certainly is you started wrestling in 154 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,300 2011. Where did you train? 155 00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:08,700 I started Wrestling Academy Lance Storm and Calgary, Alberta 156 00:08:08,700 --> 00:08:11,500 Canada. Okay, so the pedigree of Lance 157 00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:14,900 Storm can be traced back to the heart, the legendary heart 158 00:08:14,900 --> 00:08:18,200 house, and then and and Lance himself went on to a an 159 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:21,000 incredible career in pro wrestling. 160 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:25,500 And and then started It up arresting Academy, probably in 161 00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:28,600 many respects considered one of the during its Heyday when you 162 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:33,100 were there at the time, probably one of the greatest pro 163 00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:36,500 wrestling schools in Canada. That's all fair to say, right. 164 00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:39,400 We're on the same page there. Never seen a better trainer than 165 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:40,900 Lance Storm and I'm not effective up. 166 00:08:40,900 --> 00:08:42,299 I apologize on that. Yeah. 167 00:08:42,299 --> 00:08:45,000 He's the best trainer I've seen period. 168 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:48,000 Okay, so good. Okay, so in the ring. 169 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,800 So so you're you, you had the upbringing that you did you 170 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:54,600 weren't seen boy. I mean, I don't think it takes 171 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,900 the psychologist to go. Okay, well, here's a, here's a 172 00:08:57,900 --> 00:09:00,100 compensation for that. Get into the pro wrestling 173 00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:03,100 world. You go to category, you learn, 174 00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:07,100 you learn the technical elements of of The Craft, I alluded in 175 00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:09,600 the introduction to the psychological elements of The 176 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,600 Craft as well. All the Mind work that needs to 177 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:16,500 be done, you know that an effective pro wrestler, does you 178 00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:20,800 come back? 2011, and what was it? 179 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:24,000 That had a hard that had a Difficult time for you. 180 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,500 Getting your foot in the door and getting noticed. 181 00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:30,400 I'm in for in terms of like I went to wrestling school in May 182 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:33,200 of 2010. So when I came back a couple 183 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,600 months later, I didn't have any money because I grew up 184 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:38,600 extremely poor so I had to quit my job, but I finally got a good 185 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:40,300 job right before I went to wrestling school, but I was like 186 00:09:40,300 --> 00:09:42,700 if I get this job, I'm using this to get to wrestling school. 187 00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:45,200 So like I had to quit. And then I went to school moved 188 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:46,900 to Calgary came back after school. 189 00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:49,200 And then I had six months of not having a job, not being able to 190 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,300 find a job and kind of just getting down on myself. 191 00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:53,400 Because like the I lived in Moines. 192 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,600 Like there was no wrestling and I'm over there wasn't for quite 193 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:56,500 some time. Funny enough. 194 00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:59,400 There, wasn't any wrestling until six months after I moved 195 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:01,400 off the island which is just funny how that works. 196 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:05,900 But ECW was the company. That was like, the biggest 197 00:10:05,900 --> 00:10:07,500 company around, like, Vancouver area. 198 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:11,200 Yeah, and there was also a SW, but I emailed a bunch of places 199 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:15,500 and nobody got back to me and then I emailed ECW, but they 200 00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:17,900 had, I guess they ran into a bunch of people who said, 201 00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:19,900 they've been trained by storm but had no experience. 202 00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:22,800 So they were skeptical about people just saying that they had 203 00:10:22,900 --> 00:10:25,400 Trained by him. So that I had to wait for them 204 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,400 to come to Victoria and like, it was just perfect timing that 205 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:30,500 they just happened to come to Victoria in January of 2011. 206 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,500 It was like, that was my thing. So, I just showed up, because 207 00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:35,000 somebody BJ Laredo was the person that broke me into the 208 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,800 business. Essentially, he brought me to 209 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:40,200 the show and then Scotty Mac, who's the owner of the company? 210 00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:42,200 He liked was like, oh, you look decent. 211 00:10:42,900 --> 00:10:44,100 You want to be in a triple threat tonight? 212 00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:46,800 I'm like yes yes I do. And then like that mean it was 213 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,300 all just like that simple, even though it was difficult to get 214 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:51,800 there at the beginning. Well it's funny. 215 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,300 I can I want to A little bit about that because there's a lot 216 00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:57,100 of guys out there right now who are tunnel-visioned and and and 217 00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:59,300 we talked a lot about the different pain points of guys 218 00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:01,800 that would that we go through sometimes. 219 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:04,600 And one of those pain points is not living our purpose or our 220 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,200 Dream. The thing that we've always 221 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:08,700 wanted to do and I want to I want to stick on this a little 222 00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:11,200 bit because at the end of the day you did chase a dream 223 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,400 whether it was to be noticed whether it's because you love 224 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:16,000 wrestling, whether it was that need to perform, whatever it 225 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:20,900 was, you were chasing a dream. You the dream had a drought and, 226 00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:24,700 and yet at the same time, you kept Focused on it like you know 227 00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:27,100 you look great you are ready for that shot as soon as that shot 228 00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:30,700 arrive. I think that pro wrestlers have 229 00:11:30,700 --> 00:11:35,900 a very unique definition that can be Universal about guys who 230 00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:39,700 are waiting for an opportunity and being ready. 231 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,300 When that opportunity, sometimes shows up because we don't know 232 00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:44,200 when that opportunity is going to show up, do we? 233 00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:47,100 No not at all. Mad - it totally is right, place 234 00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:49,000 right time for a lot of wrestling for the majority of 235 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:49,400 it. Yeah. 236 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:51,700 But that's the thing too is like a lot of people spend their time 237 00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:54,700 waiting and I've been victim of A lot myself but like there is a 238 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,000 big against difference between waiting for something to happen 239 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,200 and then going out and making it happen, whatever those steps 240 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:03,400 maybe like a lot of us do and I've been victim of this, not 241 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:06,300 victims, like everything you do, you do yourself and do your own, 242 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:08,500 your own biggest problem. Our own biggest way. 243 00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:10,500 Sometimes in your own, biggest way, whatever the case, I'm 244 00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:12,400 trying to say. But anyways, they're like, yeah, 245 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:13,700 there's a big difference between, like, waiting for 246 00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,000 something to happen then making it happen. 247 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,000 And like, I've been in both and I'm still in both. 248 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:20,900 I got I, it's hard to get past the waiting, even a day-to-day. 249 00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:23,700 Like, am I doing enough? Am I doing NG too much and it's 250 00:12:23,700 --> 00:12:25,200 always just like a balancing act, right? 251 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,800 Yeah, I hear you but at the same time though, I mean you had a 252 00:12:28,808 --> 00:12:31,000 drought there and you still kept on. 253 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,600 Pushing like you wouldn't, if you hadn't kept working for that 254 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:36,100 entire six months working on your body, working on, you know, 255 00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:38,600 whatever it is the skill set that you were working on at the 256 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:41,000 time when that opportunity suddenly showed up, you wouldn't 257 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,700 have been ready for it. And I think there's something to 258 00:12:42,700 --> 00:12:46,400 be said as well for for preparing, whatever it is 259 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,600 preparing for that opportunity and always working hard. 260 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,600 Even if you're working another job, or whatever it is, you're 261 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:54,700 doing be willing to Out of work on whatever that purpose of that 262 00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:56,100 dream might be. Yeah. 263 00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:57,700 Take the micro steps if need be right? 264 00:12:57,700 --> 00:12:59,700 Like there's different levels of what you need to work on at all 265 00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:01,800 times and like, it can be different every day, right? 266 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:03,400 Like some days working on your body. 267 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,700 Some days watching wrestling, some days getting in the ring 268 00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:08,300 like everyday looks different. In every goal looks different on 269 00:13:08,308 --> 00:13:10,500 different days. What did it? 270 00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:13,900 Feel like when that opportunity arose and they looked at you and 271 00:13:13,900 --> 00:13:16,200 said, okay, well yeah, hey, yeah, you want to be in the 272 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,400 triple threat match tonight? What did that? 273 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:21,000 What did that? Feel like that night alone was 274 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,500 kind of funny. Like it was a Not actually the 275 00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:26,800 best debut or whatever the case. So I'm not I wasn't really good 276 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:28,900 in front of people, I wasn't really good around people, I was 277 00:13:28,900 --> 00:13:31,700 kind of like I was very introverted growing up. 278 00:13:31,700 --> 00:13:34,500 So being around a bunch of people in the first place was 279 00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:36,200 nerve-racking. Being a bunch of her about like 280 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,600 around a bunch of wrestlers and itself, because they're all kind 281 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:42,200 of like, egotistical big scary looking, whatever the case like 282 00:13:42,300 --> 00:13:44,700 real men, real women, like Fighters and whatnot. 283 00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:47,500 Yeah, so like being around that was already nerve-wracking 284 00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:51,000 enough and I was prepared for just in case that I got the 285 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,800 chance to wrestle, and I've never attend before. 286 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:56,600 Or really like I got a spray tan and I didn't know when I got the 287 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,500 spray tan, like the person to assist their spring, you 288 00:13:58,500 --> 00:14:01,800 whatever the case and I had boxers on because I thought like 289 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,800 you know, this is high enough so I just pulled them up. 290 00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:05,400 Little did I know? Because I've been wearing trunks 291 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:08,400 that there would be an inch and a half mark of like, whiteness 292 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:12,400 from my leg where the boxer like, with my gear the next day. 293 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:16,900 So, there was that and I tried to sleep like a log and I 294 00:14:16,908 --> 00:14:19,100 drooled on my chest. So there was a white mark on my 295 00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:22,500 chest and like I was already like nervous because a triple 296 00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:25,400 threat is extremely difficult and it's a hard wrestling match 297 00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:28,200 to to be in in the first place. So I like, I had this 10 298 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,600 problem. I'm in the triple threats that's 299 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:32,000 nerve-racking. I've never been in front of a 300 00:14:32,008 --> 00:14:34,000 crowd before so I'm terrified about that. 301 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,500 My heart's going, a million miles a minute. 302 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:39,400 And the funny thing enough to when I sister gave me a blank CD 303 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,100 because I was going to put my entrance music on there and it 304 00:14:41,100 --> 00:14:42,700 was like something I've worked on for a few months. 305 00:14:42,700 --> 00:14:44,400 Getting ready for it. She didn't tell me. 306 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,300 There was a song on the first saw the first track, it was 307 00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:49,900 Blink-182, All the Small Things and like that's literally the 308 00:14:49,900 --> 00:14:52,700 opposite of the tone that I was trying to come into the room. 309 00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:56,700 Playing. Yeah, I'm like this isn't my 310 00:14:56,700 --> 00:15:00,000 song they're like just go go and on top of that, my resting name 311 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,900 at the beginning, was the greed father, but they called me the 312 00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:04,600 greed master. So I was like every single thing 313 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,900 screwed up at the times like this is it something? 314 00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:09,300 But at least it's like I got out there and I did it when I did it 315 00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:11,100 after that. Like I just sat there vibin for 316 00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:13,200 like a day and a half you like I did it. 317 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:17,300 I finally did it. Yeah, it was a breakthrough and 318 00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:21,400 and I again I I think that sometimes the fear of the 319 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:24,400 performance itself is The thing that overwhelms and maybe even 320 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:27,000 stopped some guys, from actually, whatever it is, 321 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,300 whether it's learning a musical instrument. 322 00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:31,300 Whether it's getting in shape, whether it's having that 323 00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:34,100 difficult conversation, you need to have or or coming to grips 324 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,100 with the job that they're at many times. 325 00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:38,500 Those fears of what might happen. 326 00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,500 Like, if you would have just said the chain of events that 327 00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:42,600 just happen to you. If you would have told the guy 328 00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:46,900 beforehand, that that was all going to happen, those fears 329 00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:47,900 might have been enough to Cripple. 330 00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:51,400 You to not go that night but at the end of the day, what did you 331 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:52,700 say? Okay, all this shit. 332 00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:55,500 Up and didn't go the way that it was supposed to go. 333 00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:59,700 Wrong music and crazy tan lines, all that kind of stuff, and a 334 00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:03,300 difficult match with all the nerves of that and to perform. 335 00:16:03,700 --> 00:16:06,900 And yet four days after you were vibing about it because you knew 336 00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:10,800 you were leveling up right 100% And like that right there gave 337 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:13,600 me the courage to I've never really gone over to Vancouver or 338 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,200 traveled anywhere, or do anything is my own. 339 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,000 Because again, like I grew up very poor. 340 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,200 So I didn't have the opportunities to get out and do 341 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,200 stuff and like I had to take care of my sister's a lot of my 342 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:22,000 life. So I don't really have the 343 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,200 opportunity to like Go out and do things on my own. 344 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:28,200 So when I, when I did that it was like I did this know. 345 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,500 I can start going over to Vancouver for the first time in 346 00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:32,100 like that was terrifying and itself because I didn't know 347 00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:33,500 where to go. What to do, whatever you thought 348 00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:35,300 I was gonna get lost, didn't have a cell phone at the time, 349 00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:37,500 but it's like that alone gave me the strength to start. 350 00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:39,800 Like, now I can go to this this next level. 351 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,900 I go to Vancouver and I can start heading shows up there and 352 00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:45,000 like that was essentially what started my breakthrough of 353 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,600 wrestling, right? Like it got me to where I needed 354 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,700 to be like, it's just like a step Russian production, 355 00:16:48,700 --> 00:16:50,800 Gresham, like one step at a time, right? 356 00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:52,700 It's lily pads. Across the river. 357 00:16:52,900 --> 00:16:56,400 It's the stepping stones that are there and right now we say 358 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,500 this any guy who's listening to this right now hey what are some 359 00:16:58,500 --> 00:17:00,100 of the stepping stones that you may not see? 360 00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:03,000 What are what are some of those those steps that you could take 361 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:07,700 to lead you to that better spot that more satisfactory existence 362 00:17:07,700 --> 00:17:10,800 on this planet? You know, those Stepping Stones 363 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,700 were there? They're there for everybody. 364 00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:16,700 Just sometimes we fail to see the awareness, have the 365 00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:18,200 awareness for them. I should say. 366 00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:20,599 And also, you know, you and I talked about this before, I'm 367 00:17:20,599 --> 00:17:22,900 going to get into vulnerability here and then also, Oh, the 368 00:17:22,900 --> 00:17:29,300 vulnerability to to admit or to even search inside that things 369 00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:32,300 aren't exactly the way that I want them to be, you know what 370 00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:34,800 would it look like if they were what they wanted to be? 371 00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:37,900 And what are the stepping stones that will lead you towards that? 372 00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:40,300 And I think those are really powerful questions that every 373 00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:42,900 man, every human really should ask themselves. 374 00:17:43,900 --> 00:17:46,000 I find it very interesting, you're introverted. 375 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,200 There's a lot of people in the pro wrestling business that are 376 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:53,400 introverted and yet you said it yourself tan line Is that even 377 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:58,200 boxer shorts wouldn't cover talk about being exposed physically 378 00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:03,000 in front of people, but then also, once you start with public 379 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:06,500 speaking, which many people fear that, and more than more than 380 00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:12,000 death, how does an introvert Express themselves in that way? 381 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,800 What was it that compelled you to use that as your megaphone? 382 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:18,200 I mean, it was all just like General progression. 383 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:21,200 Like I've been cutting promos or trying to Peppermill since I was 384 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,900 16 and the first ones like Uh, trap salute terrible. 385 00:18:23,900 --> 00:18:27,000 A product was a promo is talking to a camera, talking to somebody 386 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,800 and just basically talking a bunch of shit or telling a 387 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,200 story. Making your case for something 388 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:35,300 is that with that, is that a fair case more or less than, 389 00:18:35,300 --> 00:18:39,100 like hydra-matic hyping the next show, your opponent, talking up 390 00:18:39,100 --> 00:18:41,900 your opponent. All that jazz is like expressing 391 00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:46,000 your gimmick or character, your persona, like, it's extremely 392 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,200 difficult for like it's one of the most difficult things that I 393 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:51,300 run into and like, for myself, I guess in that sense of like, 394 00:18:51,300 --> 00:18:53,900 just like pushing yourself too. Do the thing that you want to do 395 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:57,000 like that's it's one of the hardest things that I found for 396 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,300 wrestlers. The majority of wrestler. 397 00:18:58,300 --> 00:19:00,900 So is one of the main things that I focus on since I've 398 00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:03,900 started and like when I first started it was terrifying and 399 00:19:03,900 --> 00:19:07,200 like I didn't get good at it for about like five or six years 400 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:10,000 until after I was at started doing it professionally and 401 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,900 like, that is terrifying. The whole thing is terrifyingly 402 00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:15,400 resting in front of people and like at the problem that I had 403 00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:18,200 or like that even sometimes I run into still is like the 404 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,600 voices in your head or so loud of like I'm going to screw this 405 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:22,500 up blah blah blah, right? Like I'm not gonna get this 406 00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:23,700 right. I'm gonna forget this line, 407 00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:26,200 which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, but like the voices in 408 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,000 your head, or so strong and so loud, that you can't hear 409 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,900 anything around you and like that doesn't work in favor for 410 00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:32,600 like listening to the crowd, listening to what you're 411 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:34,900 actually saying. And like if the Cadence comes 412 00:19:34,900 --> 00:19:37,300 off properly, if like you're making the right pauses, if it 413 00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:40,100 sounds genuine and real and a lot of people want to portray a 414 00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:41,700 Persona, right? Because they're scared to like 415 00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:44,800 let their inner selves out and be seen, which again was a huge 416 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,000 thing that I've had to deal with my whole life, right? 417 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:51,400 Yeah, it's it's definitely nerve-wracking to say the very 418 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,600 least. What? 419 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,900 Learning to be a pro-wrestler. Jordie was at therapy for you? 420 00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:59,100 Yeah, in a sense it's like it's the only thing that I've wanted 421 00:19:59,100 --> 00:20:00,400 since I was five. It's the only thing I've ever 422 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,200 been in love with. Like, I don't like anything else 423 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,400 and I've never liked anything else. 424 00:20:03,700 --> 00:20:06,500 So it's the only thing that I've since I was five that like, you 425 00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:09,000 can be yourself. You can connect with a crowd, 426 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,100 you can tell a story and again like the crowd part was very 427 00:20:11,100 --> 00:20:12,900 scary and I never thought of that when I was a kid but it's 428 00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:16,500 like I can be myself. I can express myself as full as 429 00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:19,100 I want to and like when I started getting in the ring and 430 00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:23,300 I started to after five or six years learning how to Control 431 00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:25,900 the story control the crowd, like, with the ups and downs in 432 00:20:25,900 --> 00:20:28,300 the flow, like that is. Yeah, it's therapy. 433 00:20:28,300 --> 00:20:31,200 It's like, even when I'm in pain, like I just go out there 434 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,600 and like there's there's no drug or better drug in the world and 435 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:37,600 I know because I've done them all, so I'm sure absolute best 436 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,900 well and as someone who can attest for this, I've watched 437 00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:46,200 you, I've watched it happen multiple times whether it was, 438 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:50,300 it was, it was just you, you with a partner, telling a story, 439 00:20:50,300 --> 00:20:52,600 whatever it was where you literally had people in the 440 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:54,100 past. Of your hand and you got them to 441 00:20:54,108 --> 00:21:00,300 go ho and you just you the ups and downs that you used with 442 00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,900 your physical body. But also with the way that you 443 00:21:02,900 --> 00:21:05,600 move the way that you said things the way that you, I've 444 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:08,800 watched you do it and it's it's art. 445 00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:12,100 It really, really is. It takes a special kind of 446 00:21:12,100 --> 00:21:15,800 artist to be able to do that. So you're in the business for a 447 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,700 while. Again, we want to talk about the 448 00:21:17,708 --> 00:21:19,700 comparison. I appreciate you going into 449 00:21:19,700 --> 00:21:21,600 that. I think a lot of guys don't even 450 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:25,900 step up to the plate. And I can certainly say, from a, 451 00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:29,900 from a personal standpoint, you know, yeah, financial advisor. 452 00:21:29,900 --> 00:21:32,000 I trade all that kind of stuff, but I know that I'm a 453 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:36,000 broadcaster in my heart and it, and it's just just going out and 454 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,400 doing these hundred and, you know, somewhat episodes of he 455 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,700 cast so far, I know that I'm fulfilling my purpose. 456 00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:44,200 I got other podcasts that I'm that I'm doing that are that are 457 00:21:44,208 --> 00:21:47,700 that are kind of dream fulfilling and and I just there 458 00:21:47,700 --> 00:21:50,700 are so many men Jordi like in you doing this you want to be 459 00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:52,600 wrestled since we were five, you dreamt of being a wrestler. 460 00:21:52,900 --> 00:21:56,200 I just wanted to be but like the ultimate dream was oh if I could 461 00:21:56,200 --> 00:22:00,800 just be a wrestler and and do this there's a lot of guys who 462 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:03,600 are listening to this right now that haven't explored some of 463 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,400 those inner most desires of what they want to do. 464 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:07,200 What would you say to those guys? 465 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:10,900 Right now you only live once. I mean, if depends on if you 466 00:22:10,900 --> 00:22:13,100 believe that you're reincarnated whatever the case, but in this 467 00:22:13,100 --> 00:22:17,700 Lake okay, every day that you don't take the step is a day 468 00:22:17,700 --> 00:22:18,800 that you live with regret, right? 469 00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:20,800 Like that. The only thing that I've ever 470 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,900 known is to dive headfirst. First into the thing, you love. 471 00:22:23,900 --> 00:22:26,600 See, if you don't, what if I am like, what if is very shitty 472 00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:28,100 place to be in the rest of your life? 473 00:22:28,500 --> 00:22:31,200 Like the only thing we're here to do is live our lives, fill 474 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:34,200 our lives with love, right? Like, fill our every task with 475 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:37,300 love the like because what you have inside radiates outside. 476 00:22:37,300 --> 00:22:39,300 So if you love what you're doing in your life, then you're going 477 00:22:39,300 --> 00:22:41,700 to attract nothing but love, and loving the experiences and like 478 00:22:41,700 --> 00:22:44,400 just the happiest most wonderful life you can imagine, right? 479 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,300 But if you're sitting there like regretting, your choice is 480 00:22:46,300 --> 00:22:48,800 regretting, your life hating things, blah, blah blah. 481 00:22:48,900 --> 00:22:51,600 You're going to attract those same kind of like, situations, 482 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,200 right? Like, like attracts, like, So if 483 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:56,300 you think like all this sucks life is so hard, I didn't get my 484 00:22:56,300 --> 00:22:57,800 chance. You're going to get more things 485 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:01,100 that like are forcing you to step into your power or further 486 00:23:01,100 --> 00:23:03,400 disassociate into not loving your life, right? 487 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:07,800 So I mean do it is the thing I would say that's awesome. 488 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:11,500 I you know another guy that that we know in the wrestling 489 00:23:11,500 --> 00:23:13,200 business has big big a lot of success. 490 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,400 He's been on this podcast and you talked about this is Al Snow 491 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,500 all snow was on this podcast and he talked about how people play 492 00:23:18,500 --> 00:23:21,300 you talk about, what if he talked about how people play? 493 00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:24,000 The what if game the wrong way? All the time, all they do is 494 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,200 they play the? What if game, what, if I don't 495 00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:28,800 get this job? What if I don't have enough 496 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:31,900 money for the rent? What if I screw this up? 497 00:23:31,900 --> 00:23:35,200 And, and my life will never be, you know, ask that girl out and 498 00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:37,500 she rejects me. What if and you play it the 499 00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:40,400 wrong way and that affects your life and it affects the 500 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:42,900 trajectory of your life, whereas you could play it the other way. 501 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:46,700 What if I ask the girl out and she said, yes, you know, or 502 00:23:46,700 --> 00:23:49,800 what, if it's something turned out because of that even better, 503 00:23:50,100 --> 00:23:52,100 what if I didn't get that job? Yeah. 504 00:23:52,900 --> 00:23:57,000 And play the, what if game the other way and I hear that, you 505 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,500 know, imagine if that's all you focus on, if you just focus on, 506 00:23:59,500 --> 00:24:02,800 what if it worked out and I mean that's I'm just I'm just put an 507 00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:03,800 exclamation point on what you say. 508 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:06,200 But it's interesting that you and Al had both had that to say, 509 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,200 and you did that. And I mean, you talk about. 510 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:13,400 Okay? So, so from a part-time 511 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,000 independent, professional, wrestler standpoint. 512 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,900 Especially you've had a lot of experiences. 513 00:24:18,900 --> 00:24:21,700 And I mean, I can, I can say, because I've witnessed it, I 514 00:24:21,700 --> 00:24:25,500 watched you. How you have a lot of fun at 515 00:24:25,500 --> 00:24:28,600 after these shows you had, you were living the life. 516 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:33,800 You really enjoying what this all brought to you safe to say 517 00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:37,500 that you enjoyed it, sometimes to access a hundred percent. 518 00:24:37,500 --> 00:24:40,300 Like that's, it's always been about, like, walking the line 519 00:24:40,300 --> 00:24:41,900 finding the balance, and I'm a Libra, right? 520 00:24:41,900 --> 00:24:44,200 So, I'm all about balance, but when a Libra is out of balance, 521 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,600 they go to extremes. They make irrational choices. 522 00:24:46,900 --> 00:24:49,500 And like, for myself, when I, when I started, I told you like, 523 00:24:49,500 --> 00:24:51,000 I was introverted. I was a pushover. 524 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,400 Everyone stepped on me, because I let them Like I would get in 525 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:54,600 somebody's way and I would say, sorry. 526 00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:57,000 So like it's hard like somebody will get my way and I would say 527 00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,600 stories what I meant? But anyways, like yeah, it would 528 00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:02,400 be the one side where I was very introverted, very scared of 529 00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,500 Life, very blah blah. And like I did still choose to 530 00:25:04,500 --> 00:25:07,300 dive into life whatever the case but then as soon as I went to 531 00:25:07,308 --> 00:25:09,400 the other end of the spectrum is like now I'm going to go as hard 532 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:14,500 as I can and like there was a part of me to that because at 533 00:25:14,500 --> 00:25:19,100 that point not even like when I 33 was about the year that I 534 00:25:19,300 --> 00:25:21,800 started to finally dive into my traumas and figure out what they 535 00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:23,000 were. And like, what Things were 536 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,300 unconsciously running my life, but before that, like when I met 537 00:25:25,300 --> 00:25:27,600 you, that was like, when I was like 25 26. 538 00:25:27,900 --> 00:25:31,200 I was deep deep. Deep into my traumas and like, 539 00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,600 trying to escape myself, trying to get away from the things that 540 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:35,900 I didn't want to look at which were like a very hard upbringing 541 00:25:35,900 --> 00:25:38,100 and I'm not trying to say that in terms of like all my stories, 542 00:25:38,100 --> 00:25:40,800 hard feel like, feel sorry for me, I love everything that 543 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:42,700 happened in my life and it's a badge of honor now and like it 544 00:25:42,700 --> 00:25:43,900 just, it's part of my story, right? 545 00:25:43,900 --> 00:25:47,600 But like at that time I was as soon as wrestling was over 546 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:49,700 because that's where identified and that was another big thing 547 00:25:49,700 --> 00:25:51,900 too, was identified so hard with me being a wrestler. 548 00:25:51,900 --> 00:25:54,400 Once I became Like as soon as the match is over, it's like, oh 549 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:56,600 now I gotta start Escape my life again until the next match. 550 00:25:56,600 --> 00:26:00,800 So it's like let's do everything we can find well and I mean not 551 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:03,200 to tell Tales out of school, you go to whatever you want to go 552 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:07,300 into. I had a I just recently had a 553 00:26:07,300 --> 00:26:09,800 conversation with a guy who hung out a lot with John Belushi back 554 00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:13,500 in the day and and and the way that he described John Belushi 555 00:26:13,500 --> 00:26:17,700 is the pedal down to the floor. It does not move and it just 556 00:26:17,700 --> 00:26:22,400 stays there when describing how John lived his life there were 557 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,500 Safe to say that there are time periods where that would be 558 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,700 something that was you could you could relate to. 559 00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:33,400 I would say it's from 23 to 25 till Twenty Eight. 560 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:37,900 Actually he had a three-year run with it like without taking away 561 00:26:37,900 --> 00:26:40,600 the metal Autumn. Yeah, just very stupid. 562 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,200 I'm surprised. I'm still alive after a long, 563 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:44,500 but that was part of the story. But like I would, we're all 564 00:26:44,500 --> 00:26:47,100 like, I believe very much that we have a birthday and we also 565 00:26:47,100 --> 00:26:48,700 have a death date, right? Like so whatever we're going to 566 00:26:48,708 --> 00:26:50,000 do in this life is wherever we're going to do. 567 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:51,400 We're supposed to go when we're supposed to go. 568 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:53,600 Just like we're supposed to come here when we Come here but like 569 00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:58,200 during that time, like if I didn't, I guess, revamp or like 570 00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:01,400 level up, I guess then I was probably going to party myself 571 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,800 to death. Those probably a pretty strong 572 00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:05,900 Factor pretty strong probability. 573 00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:10,900 Yeah. And, and I mean, it's a, it's an 574 00:27:10,900 --> 00:27:13,900 easy, it's easy to have a hard life when you're running in 575 00:27:13,908 --> 00:27:16,800 those circles constantly in your having those adrenaline highs 576 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:20,200 and lows and the people around it and stuff, it's really easy 577 00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,400 to live a hard life and you've seen it. 578 00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:25,400 I've seen it with people and I love seeing people who come out 579 00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,700 on the other side of it and I want to talk about that too. 580 00:27:28,700 --> 00:27:32,500 He said it was in your early, 30s is when you realize you had 581 00:27:32,500 --> 00:27:34,400 trauma and started diving into it. 582 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:38,900 What was the, what was the Catalyst for you seeing 583 00:27:38,900 --> 00:27:41,600 something bigger? And, and identifying it with 584 00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:44,200 with, maybe trauma or wanting to change or grow. 585 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,400 And I don't want to put words in your mouth but what was the was 586 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:49,600 there was there one moment or was it a series of moments that 587 00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:53,300 led to that decision? It was definitely a Of moments. 588 00:27:53,300 --> 00:27:58,200 Cause like I would say at 33 was when I had sort of my Spiritual 589 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:01,100 Awakening where I started to realize that I was running a lot 590 00:28:01,100 --> 00:28:04,000 of unconscious traumas and like that was dictating my life but 591 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,600 there was one specific moment at age 33. 592 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:09,200 It was like three quarters into it, whatever the case, something 593 00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:11,300 like that, or maybe even the beginning of 34, I don't know 594 00:28:11,500 --> 00:28:13,400 that time doesn't exist to me. Like I'm just like I'm here 595 00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:15,800 right now. Yeah, it was when I was talking 596 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,300 to my girlfriend and I just I kept on, I had this thing and 597 00:28:18,300 --> 00:28:20,500 I've had this thing, like I told you like I used to say, sorry 598 00:28:20,500 --> 00:28:21,500 when I would get in someone's way. 599 00:28:21,500 --> 00:28:23,800 Like, I would say, Oh sorry over everything. 600 00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:26,300 Like I would say sorry constantly like my trauma 601 00:28:26,300 --> 00:28:28,200 response where like I didn't feel good enough. 602 00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,400 So it's like as long as I overcompensated and said, sorry. 603 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:32,500 Constantly then like then it's good right, right. 604 00:28:32,500 --> 00:28:34,500 Like it's also through like you're putting up with me 605 00:28:34,500 --> 00:28:37,400 because I was again never seen never heard of the child and I 606 00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:41,300 didn't really like I wasn't shown that I'm worth something 607 00:28:41,300 --> 00:28:43,200 or means something blah blah blah and again no one's problem, 608 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:44,600 right? But like I would just say sorry 609 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:47,200 over everything and like my girlfriend was like I was doing 610 00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:49,200 the dishes and I was helping and then I didn't do something 611 00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:50,900 properly those like sorry. And then she's like doing food. 612 00:28:50,900 --> 00:28:52,400 And I'm like sorry and then like she's sorry. 613 00:28:52,700 --> 00:28:55,500 You say sorry so much like, you know, that's drama response, 614 00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:56,700 right? And I'm like, damn, I don't even 615 00:28:56,700 --> 00:29:00,000 know what a trauma response was. And then I started to like, dive 616 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,600 into what? How many other ones I had like 617 00:29:02,900 --> 00:29:04,700 it's funny too because then I'm like ah shit. 618 00:29:04,700 --> 00:29:08,100 Here's another huge workload. I've got to put myself into to 619 00:29:08,100 --> 00:29:09,900 see like this. I didn't know what they were 620 00:29:09,900 --> 00:29:10,900 right. And I was like, damn, they're 621 00:29:10,900 --> 00:29:12,700 literally running my whole life and it's not. 622 00:29:12,700 --> 00:29:14,000 My problem is no one's problem, right? 623 00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,700 It's not, my parents problem is, nobody's really, it's just 624 00:29:16,900 --> 00:29:19,300 that's our story and what we've been given, we can either choose 625 00:29:19,300 --> 00:29:22,400 to continue down that path or start to work through them and 626 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,600 up, Upgrade. I've got two responses to 627 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:27,400 everything that you just said. Number one, the idea that 628 00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,200 saying, sorry is a trauma response. 629 00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:34,700 That's the first one I've on all of the episodes of this podcast 630 00:29:34,700 --> 00:29:36,800 so far. That's one that hasn't come up. 631 00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:38,600 That's really, really interesting. 632 00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:41,200 What is it about saying, sorry, that's a, that makes it a trauma 633 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:43,400 response. Do not doing anything wrong, and 634 00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:44,700 I wasn't doing anything wrong at the time. 635 00:29:44,700 --> 00:29:46,900 Like I was, I was helping someone, but I always felt that 636 00:29:46,900 --> 00:29:50,800 my being around was a hindrance because like I never felt good 637 00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:52,400 enough for anything like that even worked in. 638 00:29:52,700 --> 00:29:54,500 The right, so like even subconsciously when you're in 639 00:29:54,500 --> 00:29:57,600 the ring, if you don't because I now I am body being the man. 640 00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:00,600 Like I feel very much that I'm the best, but then like I would, 641 00:30:00,700 --> 00:30:03,300 I would fake confidence. But even then like I would, I 642 00:30:03,300 --> 00:30:04,800 would always just feel like I wasn't good enough. 643 00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:06,100 Like I didn't deserve what I had. 644 00:30:06,100 --> 00:30:08,200 Like I didn't deserve to be there, I didn't deserve the nice 645 00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:09,800 things. I was getting even though like 646 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,200 I've always been given everything that I've ever asked 647 00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:14,400 for dreamt of, but there was a part of me that always like, I 648 00:30:14,408 --> 00:30:16,200 don't I don't not worthy of that again. 649 00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:18,000 I guess it's kind of like imposter syndrome, like I'll do 650 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,500 great, but it's like, do I deserve this really? 651 00:30:20,700 --> 00:30:22,400 But then that's the only, like, I would say sorry. 652 00:30:22,500 --> 00:30:26,500 Sorry for everything that is really interesting. 653 00:30:26,500 --> 00:30:32,000 I, we talk a lot about impostor syndrome on here and and I'm 654 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:35,100 actually there's a side project that's going on with each engine 655 00:30:35,100 --> 00:30:38,100 that's involving with involved with impostor syndrome. 656 00:30:38,100 --> 00:30:41,400 And that's the second thing I wanted to actually ask you, once 657 00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:46,700 you realize what you said there. I think was really, really key 658 00:30:46,700 --> 00:30:48,400 Geordi. I think I'm glad that you said 659 00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:51,000 it the way you did because it triggered this this, this 660 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:55,300 response. The idea once you realize that 661 00:30:55,300 --> 00:30:58,200 it is a trauma response and suddenly you're like, oh shit, 662 00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:00,200 the amount of work. It's going to tell you, another 663 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,100 thing, like something to work on. 664 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:06,500 And I think that there's a lot of guys out there who even if 665 00:31:06,500 --> 00:31:09,500 they haven't explored consciously and become aware of 666 00:31:09,500 --> 00:31:11,900 what exactly is some of those traumas fought, some of those 667 00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:17,100 things that are in the background that the lacking is 668 00:31:17,100 --> 00:31:20,700 that we might have in our life. I think many times the idea we 669 00:31:20,708 --> 00:31:25,900 don't want to open Pandora's Box because as the overwhelm, the 670 00:31:25,900 --> 00:31:30,700 overwhelming fear of how much effort, what will change, will 671 00:31:30,700 --> 00:31:33,800 our security be affected? All of these, you know, reality 672 00:31:34,900 --> 00:31:39,600 you know, to its core, the fear of any of that stuff, being 673 00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:43,000 rocked stops us. And I just find it interesting 674 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,200 that when, you know, she's had to go. 675 00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:48,200 That's a trauma response. And there's a part of you that 676 00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:51,200 in retelling a story even goes. Okay, well shit, you know, this 677 00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:53,900 is Anna. Overwhelmed by this here. 678 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:56,000 Now you're on the other side of it. 679 00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:57,600 Now we're going to get to that in a second here. 680 00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:03,500 But any guy who's got this whole shit, kind of kind of feeling 681 00:32:03,500 --> 00:32:05,800 right now. How worth it is it on the other 682 00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:08,400 side to deal with that stuff, there's literally no better 683 00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:10,900 feeling in the world. Like you, you feel like you're 684 00:32:10,900 --> 00:32:14,200 coming back to yourself, right? Like you have all these programs 685 00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:16,200 and whatever the case and they run your life and you don't run 686 00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:18,100 your life. And that's the problem is like 687 00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:20,300 when you have so many things running your life, you're 688 00:32:20,300 --> 00:32:23,600 triggered at everything and like a lot of men When myself, I'm 689 00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:25,800 the only one that can I know my experience. 690 00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:28,800 So that's what I'm going off of is a lot of men being me. 691 00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:33,600 Aye aye, we try to attack everything from the mind and 692 00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:35,400 like, that's because we have a closed heart. 693 00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:37,000 We've never really learned how to open her heart. 694 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:40,200 And like, you can't feel from the mind. 695 00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:42,200 So, like, if you have an issue in your head being like, oh, 696 00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,000 I've got to deal with all these things, it's because your heart 697 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,500 has to open for it. And like we try to like okay now 698 00:32:46,500 --> 00:32:48,800 I have all these these steps and I can listen to all these 699 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:50,300 podcasts, whatever the case, because that's what I did. 700 00:32:50,300 --> 00:32:52,400 I just started diving into like Men's Health podcast. 701 00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:55,600 Ever, but it's like you can listen to a lot of things but 702 00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:59,100 instead, you have to be like in the moment and like something 703 00:32:59,100 --> 00:33:00,800 comes up and you be like, oh what's coming up now? 704 00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:03,000 I have to feel this now. Where is this coming from what 705 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:05,800 sort of like unresolved trauma? Is this coming from as a child? 706 00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:07,900 And like that's the part that really sucks and hurts. 707 00:33:07,900 --> 00:33:10,300 It's like you can't think your way out of feeling like you have 708 00:33:10,300 --> 00:33:12,600 a lot of pain that you have to feel and come up to integrate 709 00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:14,500 and like them. That's that's where the word 710 00:33:14,500 --> 00:33:15,600 comes. I like it's like being in the 711 00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:16,200 moment. It's like, okay. 712 00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:18,800 Like I've learned all these things and now oh and good. 713 00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:21,100 Now I'm prepared for whatever comes up and like something 714 00:33:21,100 --> 00:33:22,300 comes up and you're like, ah shit. 715 00:33:22,500 --> 00:33:25,500 Here's my heart open to a little bit it's like that painful stuff 716 00:33:26,700 --> 00:33:29,900 well and it's painful but also there's also the fear of how 717 00:33:29,900 --> 00:33:32,800 painful it's going to be. When the reality of it is that 718 00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:37,300 it's also moving forward. It's you know it's not still 719 00:33:37,300 --> 00:33:38,800 water. It's like a it's like a river in 720 00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:42,000 you're moving it forward and you might get hit for some rocks 721 00:33:42,100 --> 00:33:45,100 along the way a little bit but you're still progressing versus 722 00:33:45,100 --> 00:33:49,300 when you sit there and it's just still and and because that hurt 723 00:33:49,300 --> 00:33:51,400 is still there, it's just there two different formats in the 724 00:33:51,408 --> 00:33:55,200 form of procrastination. Another form of of, you know, 725 00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:57,700 overworking everything right? Yep. 726 00:33:57,700 --> 00:34:01,000 Yep. Abso-fucking-lutely I appreciate 727 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:04,000 you talking about that and I mean you know we've had some 728 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,300 we've had some real aha moments that we're going to get to hear. 729 00:34:06,300 --> 00:34:10,600 Now let's go back to your 33 that the that saying sory that 730 00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:13,400 trigger response thing. Sounds like it was a bit of a 731 00:34:13,408 --> 00:34:17,900 keystone to an avalanche continue continue on in the 732 00:34:17,900 --> 00:34:21,699 progression of that hill falling down I mean at that point then I 733 00:34:21,699 --> 00:34:23,900 was like How many times? Because even that triggered me 734 00:34:23,900 --> 00:34:25,000 to. I was like this Little Charmers 735 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:27,600 fun, so, I'm just being a nice person but like really, it was 736 00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:29,900 just me, like, not feeling worthy, not feeling good enough 737 00:34:29,900 --> 00:34:33,100 and like, I was in the literal place that I wanted to be in, 738 00:34:33,100 --> 00:34:35,300 but my mind thought, like, okay, maybe I should just do the 739 00:34:35,308 --> 00:34:36,800 dishes. Maybe I can like help and do 740 00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:39,400 everything cause that's how I like lived my life, in terms of 741 00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:40,500 like my upbringing with my family. 742 00:34:40,500 --> 00:34:43,100 It's like how can I do things for other people to make me feel 743 00:34:43,100 --> 00:34:46,500 like I'm I'm worth being here. Instead of being like, you know 744 00:34:46,500 --> 00:34:50,199 I'm I'm a beautiful soul. Who deserves all the love in the 745 00:34:50,199 --> 00:34:54,100 world and like this is my Sorry that I've been given by God by 746 00:34:54,100 --> 00:34:57,200 Whatever by the universe, right? Like this is I'm here for this 747 00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:59,100 reason, instead of I don't belong here, I don't deserve to 748 00:34:59,100 --> 00:35:01,700 be here and I Would overcompensate by like doing 749 00:35:01,700 --> 00:35:04,100 everything to make someone's life, so easy that it started 750 00:35:04,100 --> 00:35:07,100 hindering their lives and like because like they need to do 751 00:35:07,100 --> 00:35:08,600 things for themselves to be independent, right? 752 00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,700 But that was just my thing and like from then it was like, okay 753 00:35:11,700 --> 00:35:14,400 so I say sorry, a bunch, that's a trauma response. 754 00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:19,400 I like, I overworked myself all the time and I don't rest and I 755 00:35:19,408 --> 00:35:23,000 don't sleep because I feel that if I stop or if If I don't 756 00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:25,400 continue doing things then that's a trauma response because 757 00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:28,000 I'm like, I'm over working there's no balance Within Myself 758 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:31,500 and I had to start like learning to rest because that's just as 759 00:35:31,500 --> 00:35:32,700 much like it's the yin and the yang, right? 760 00:35:32,700 --> 00:35:35,700 Like you have to rest as much to have to work and I had to like 761 00:35:35,700 --> 00:35:39,900 just just be more in the moment and like stop like learn to 762 00:35:39,900 --> 00:35:42,500 quiet my head and get into my heart and then that was one of 763 00:35:42,500 --> 00:35:44,500 the biggest problems to arise because when you come in your 764 00:35:44,500 --> 00:35:47,000 heart, then you become into the moment instead of like thinking 765 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,200 of like, okay 10 minutes from now, I need to do this 20 766 00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:50,900 minutes from now. This like how can I continue to 767 00:35:50,900 --> 00:35:52,300 make myself worthy instead of that? 768 00:35:52,500 --> 00:35:56,800 I am worthy and ever since then 34, now just about to turn 35. 769 00:35:56,800 --> 00:36:01,600 So it's been like a painful two years but it's been the most 770 00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:03,600 learned two years of my entire life so far. 771 00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:06,400 And like it's it's been the most wonderful two years ever. 772 00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:09,400 Like I would I would go through that pain times 1000, if it 773 00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:12,800 meant to be in the spot, I am now because I got that there's 774 00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:15,900 no better feeling in the world than learning to love yourself 775 00:36:15,900 --> 00:36:18,500 and love your experiences, the love of your life because like, 776 00:36:18,500 --> 00:36:22,300 when you heal your, your trauma becomes your gift to the world. 777 00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:24,500 World then you can help other people with with. 778 00:36:24,500 --> 00:36:27,200 There's right. Yeah, your trauma becomes your 779 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:31,100 gift to the world. My God does that ever take the 780 00:36:31,100 --> 00:36:32,400 edge off? If you know that you're going to 781 00:36:32,408 --> 00:36:34,200 have trauma? Or, you know, you've had trauma 782 00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:36,800 but understanding the fact that your trauma can be the gift to 783 00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:39,400 the world. You might, you cut yourself a 784 00:36:39,408 --> 00:36:41,600 break a little bit. And I think, I think that's a 785 00:36:41,607 --> 00:36:44,600 lot of us, who can identify with what you're, what you're saying. 786 00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:48,200 We don't cut ourselves a break many times if we're shouldering 787 00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:50,400 the responsibility of a family and you got stresses in the 788 00:36:50,408 --> 00:36:52,300 family, if we're feeling stressed. 789 00:36:52,500 --> 00:36:53,600 What? We're don't want to burden the 790 00:36:53,607 --> 00:36:57,000 family with that stuff, we don't want to burden our friends. 791 00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:58,600 We don't want to. And I mean, that you got these 792 00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:00,700 guys that are living quiet lives of desperation. 793 00:37:00,700 --> 00:37:02,300 I don't how many times on this podcast. 794 00:37:02,300 --> 00:37:07,300 We've used that phrase where these, you know and you you 795 00:37:07,300 --> 00:37:11,200 encapsulated it. So perfectly here, you got this 796 00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:14,900 guy who on the surface, like there are people, I'm not being 797 00:37:14,900 --> 00:37:17,300 hyperbolas by saying, there are people who would look at you. 798 00:37:17,300 --> 00:37:19,100 Jordan say I want to fucking be that guy. 799 00:37:19,500 --> 00:37:22,900 He's jacked whole man. The girls must Is love a look 800 00:37:22,900 --> 00:37:26,200 what he can do and look at what he can do and just use this 801 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,200 larger than life. Kind of the superhero, kind of 802 00:37:28,207 --> 00:37:31,100 guy come to life. And imagine if those guys 803 00:37:31,100 --> 00:37:33,800 realize that that guy they're looking at has worthiness 804 00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:39,100 issues, you know, like if I'll say this, I've watched you 805 00:37:39,100 --> 00:37:41,000 perform. If you've got worthiness issues, 806 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,900 oh my God, it's okay. For all of us to have worthiness 807 00:37:43,900 --> 00:37:47,500 issues and and and it's a it's actually a bit of a natural 808 00:37:47,500 --> 00:37:49,300 thing. Unfortunately, what's happening 809 00:37:49,300 --> 00:37:52,600 is you got a lot of guys were bottling that shit up and We're 810 00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:55,100 going to get to vulnerability because I mean, you know, I 811 00:37:55,100 --> 00:37:59,600 talked we talked before before the red light went on and and 812 00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:02,100 because they're not being vulnerable, that shit, it Stacks 813 00:38:02,100 --> 00:38:03,500 up. We push it down and push down, 814 00:38:03,500 --> 00:38:06,500 push it down, but it comes back up and it, and it comes out, 815 00:38:06,500 --> 00:38:10,600 unfortunately, in horrible ways is, you know, can be violent. 816 00:38:11,100 --> 00:38:13,700 It can be Health shit. That pops up, heart attacks and 817 00:38:13,900 --> 00:38:19,000 and and stroking out and, and then it can be some insane 818 00:38:19,500 --> 00:38:22,300 horrible psychological and mental. 819 00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:28,300 Cool ways that can really make existence difficult. 820 00:38:29,500 --> 00:38:32,500 You've seen it, you've got it, you've got some rock bottom 821 00:38:32,500 --> 00:38:35,000 moments top. Can we can we go into it? 822 00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:38,200 Can we talk about your your path? 823 00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:42,200 That is Led from where you were then to where you are now open 824 00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:43,200 book. No problem. 825 00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:45,700 I was saying that no problem, no problem. 826 00:38:45,700 --> 00:38:49,800 So so when I started my career at 23, I was a total pushover 827 00:38:49,900 --> 00:38:52,200 and this is all because of like just insane amounts. 828 00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:54,500 From never being seed, never being heard, never really 829 00:38:54,500 --> 00:38:55,800 feeling. Like I was loved, whatever. 830 00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:57,900 The case I'm like, again I'll preface by I was constantly by 831 00:38:57,900 --> 00:38:59,900 saying, that's no one's fault because everyone's running their 832 00:38:59,900 --> 00:39:02,000 own programs. But like that was my story, 833 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:03,500 right? Like, I never really felt like I 834 00:39:03,508 --> 00:39:07,600 was worth anything, so I would let people bully me pick on me, 835 00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:09,200 just do. I like, whatever the case, like 836 00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:11,000 I would just like, just gotta get through this. 837 00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:14,300 I'm the funny guy who just dismantles people's anger at me 838 00:39:14,300 --> 00:39:19,100 by funniness and like, I would that crossed over to the 839 00:39:19,100 --> 00:39:21,100 wrestling business and like in wrestling business, you kind of 840 00:39:21,100 --> 00:39:23,800 have to have a thick skin. You have to be like strong 841 00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:27,300 whatever and I was just the most intense pushover, that anyone 842 00:39:27,300 --> 00:39:29,100 can see like I was scared of everything. 843 00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:31,600 I was terrified of getting heat and heat is like getting in 844 00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:33,700 trouble I guess by like wrestlers are like doesn't it 845 00:39:33,707 --> 00:39:37,000 correctly gossip? You you get afraid of the gossip 846 00:39:37,300 --> 00:39:40,000 because for a variety of reasons, I don't want to make 847 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,700 anyone mad like that. So I would let everyone push me 848 00:39:42,700 --> 00:39:45,800 around and like when I started using steroids, that's when I 849 00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:47,700 went to the other end. It's like, well, now I'm the 850 00:39:47,700 --> 00:39:50,200 psycho now, everything that everyone has ever done to me 851 00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:52,300 including my upbringing. Now I'm gonna bring it out on. 852 00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:54,400 And that even tries to bully me or push me around in the 853 00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:55,700 slightest. And it's like that turned into, 854 00:39:55,700 --> 00:39:59,800 like, okay. So I'm I've always I used 855 00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:02,800 chronic we need to like, I smoked weed like most of my life 856 00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:06,100 because I was trying to hide it from myself and my traumas, and 857 00:40:06,107 --> 00:40:07,600 my story and like all this stuff, right? 858 00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:10,100 Like I wasn't proud of where I've been where I come from all 859 00:40:10,100 --> 00:40:11,800 this. So when I started using 860 00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,200 steroids, then I started trying other things. 861 00:40:14,500 --> 00:40:16,300 And like I started like doing every drug. 862 00:40:16,300 --> 00:40:18,000 I could find more less and like that. 863 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:22,000 Put me on a very destructive path where around like 28 when I 864 00:40:22,008 --> 00:40:25,000 told You that like I started like turning my life around 865 00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:30,800 because that, that from 25 to 28, I was smoking weed. 866 00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:34,300 Every day I was doing MDMA as much as I wanted, I was doing 867 00:40:34,300 --> 00:40:36,700 coke. I smoke crack, I did math, I've 868 00:40:36,700 --> 00:40:38,800 done like every drug. You can think of doing. 869 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:42,900 Like I was just, wouldn't it. When I started using drugs, 870 00:40:42,900 --> 00:40:46,800 constantly to decide for myself, then I hit a guy adopted a 871 00:40:46,808 --> 00:40:49,100 mindset of, like, okay, I'm just gonna go and tell him 28. 872 00:40:49,100 --> 00:40:53,300 I'm gonna party as hard as I can until that age and I don't 873 00:40:53,300 --> 00:40:55,400 really have a vision past that. So then I just like this I was 874 00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:58,100 so ingrained in my traumas and I was like I'm just gonna party 875 00:40:58,100 --> 00:41:01,100 myself to death, really holy shit. 876 00:41:01,100 --> 00:41:04,300 Like that was conscious thought that you had yes and no. 877 00:41:04,300 --> 00:41:07,400 Like I did admit it to myself one time I think when I was 878 00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:10,600 like, at my like, my mom's getting to my lowest but I just, 879 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:13,100 I just wanted to just go as hard as I could. 880 00:41:13,100 --> 00:41:15,400 I wanted to be that guy, like I want to just go out looking like 881 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:18,400 a tough guy, who handled everything and when it's hard as 882 00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:23,200 he could and yeah it put me into a dark place and then like 28, 883 00:41:23,500 --> 00:41:26,500 my nephew was born and I was also injured at the same time. 884 00:41:26,500 --> 00:41:29,300 Like, I had two hernias, so I was literally just like forced 885 00:41:29,300 --> 00:41:31,600 to sit on my coat and do nothing and then my nephew was born to 886 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:34,000 and like that, I can honestly say that my nephew was the 887 00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:38,300 person that like reignited, my like want to live and like who 888 00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:40,800 Embrace a new side of me or heal myself, I guess. 889 00:41:41,100 --> 00:41:43,500 But until that time like I was just like partying and being a 890 00:41:43,508 --> 00:41:47,300 total dipshit and I would I would do blow every weekend. 891 00:41:47,300 --> 00:41:52,000 I was one of my lowest times ever in that 20. 25 to 28. 892 00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:54,400 I recall smoking crack with a homeless guy, behind a 893 00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:57,500 supermarket like like the stupid things like that, right? 894 00:41:57,500 --> 00:41:59,800 Like I was just the dumbest person and like, it wasn't my 895 00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:01,100 fault. I was just trying to hide for my 896 00:42:01,100 --> 00:42:05,000 life, but around 28, when I started to like I just had 897 00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:06,200 burned all my bridges and wrestling. 898 00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:08,400 I just out asshole to myself out of the business and like I 899 00:42:08,408 --> 00:42:10,700 totally understand. I was a jerk to everyone, right? 900 00:42:10,700 --> 00:42:12,700 Like, but then I was like, left alone. 901 00:42:12,700 --> 00:42:14,200 Like, I had no one, I had nothing. 902 00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:16,300 And it's like, I saw that little guy born and I was like, I got 903 00:42:16,300 --> 00:42:18,400 to be there for this kid because I can't just like let the same 904 00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:19,500 thing happen to me happened to him. 905 00:42:19,500 --> 00:42:20,400 We're just doesn't, have anybody? 906 00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:22,700 That's cool to hang out with them not to say like Doesn't 907 00:42:22,700 --> 00:42:24,600 have family around him but like, no. 908 00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:30,400 It was a another person, who, like, I had a lot of, I don't 909 00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:32,200 know what the word to say is, but like, I guess like made a 910 00:42:32,207 --> 00:42:34,500 lot of mistakes, whatever. But I could help him, not make 911 00:42:34,500 --> 00:42:36,100 those same mistakes. And like, that was another 912 00:42:36,100 --> 00:42:38,400 person that I could, like, show love to and give the love that I 913 00:42:38,408 --> 00:42:41,100 hadn't really received. So, it's totally purpose. 914 00:42:41,100 --> 00:42:45,100 It's 100% of gave you a purpose that you hadn't had previously 915 00:42:45,100 --> 00:42:47,600 and a new definition of purpose, safe to say? 916 00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:50,700 Yeah, very much so. And like little by little after 917 00:42:50,700 --> 00:42:53,300 I had that surgery I was like I'm just going to spend every 918 00:42:53,300 --> 00:42:57,600 single day making the tiniest steps possible to get back to 919 00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:00,600 where I want to be and like so I was like heal from the surgery, 920 00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:02,200 then it's like, okay, now I'm going to start getting into the 921 00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:05,100 gym and then once I started getting the amount of like, 922 00:43:05,100 --> 00:43:07,400 wait, I guess we're like the look that I wanted back because 923 00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:09,500 I had like withered away to like skinny little man. 924 00:43:09,500 --> 00:43:11,100 Just doing drugs all the time. Yeah. 925 00:43:11,100 --> 00:43:13,100 And then I was like, I just once I got to the place where I 926 00:43:13,100 --> 00:43:15,900 wanted to physically, then I started like working on. 927 00:43:15,900 --> 00:43:17,300 Like okay. Now I'm just going to sit down 928 00:43:17,300 --> 00:43:22,900 and watch wrestling and from like 20 17 to 20 of 2017. 19 out 929 00:43:22,900 --> 00:43:24,600 of the, whatever, the case, I spent three years, just sitting 930 00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:26,700 on my couch for almost 10 hours a day, watching wrestling. 931 00:43:26,700 --> 00:43:29,300 Because I was like, I'm just gonna become the best at this. 932 00:43:29,300 --> 00:43:31,700 Now, like I have to, I can either sit at home and be 933 00:43:31,700 --> 00:43:34,700 stagnant and hate my life, and be where I was before, or I can 934 00:43:34,700 --> 00:43:37,200 just work as hard as I can to become what I want to be. 935 00:43:37,500 --> 00:43:40,800 And like, that it very much did reignite my life. 936 00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:45,500 And like that's what started like when I started to embrace 937 00:43:45,500 --> 00:43:48,000 myself and love myself and it's funny to like I was sitting in 938 00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:52,300 my house around like 20 20 19, and I was I was doing mushrooms. 939 00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:54,300 All the time because it was like an organic drug. 940 00:43:54,300 --> 00:43:57,500 And I wanted to like get back into like looking to myself with 941 00:43:57,500 --> 00:44:01,200 like a with a non synthetic drug that I hadn't done before. 942 00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:03,300 Yep. Like I was just sitting in my 943 00:44:03,300 --> 00:44:05,700 house doing push-ups while I was watching wrestling and I just 944 00:44:05,700 --> 00:44:07,200 looked into the mirror and I looked into my eyes and I'm 945 00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:09,500 like, I'm the fucking best. I'm like, I deserve everything 946 00:44:09,500 --> 00:44:11,100 in life. I deserve like all the things 947 00:44:11,100 --> 00:44:13,800 that I've ever wanted in life and it just ignited. 948 00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:17,000 Another thing, it was just like one more spark in the ignition 949 00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,000 of like wanting to get back to myself. 950 00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:21,400 And once I started telling myself that and feeling that 951 00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:24,000 like, it wasn't shortly, After that I started winning all the 952 00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:26,700 Championships around and I had four belts on me and then I had 953 00:44:26,700 --> 00:44:30,200 five and then I got a spot and it's a bit of a movie and then 954 00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:33,800 shortly after that I was on, WB Smackdown as like a I guess soon 955 00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:36,200 as I started to believe that I deserve these things and like it 956 00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:38,700 was with accumulated work, and that work was self-love the 957 00:44:38,700 --> 00:44:39,800 right. It was like, I'm going to do all 958 00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:41,900 these things because I love myself and I deserve these 959 00:44:41,900 --> 00:44:44,800 things and like, I deserve all the things I've ever wanted. 960 00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:47,000 They started actually coming to me like rapidly was like, bang, 961 00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:50,900 bang, bang, bang, bang things, beautiful, you know, and I want 962 00:44:50,900 --> 00:44:53,500 to, I want to make sure we do. Get lost in the Weeds on 963 00:44:53,500 --> 00:44:55,600 something like this. If a wrestling promoter is 964 00:44:55,600 --> 00:45:01,800 willing to have you as a representative to the point 965 00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:07,000 where they wrestle for and and win the championship belt of 966 00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:11,100 that promotion, a promoter isn't going to put somebody in the 967 00:45:11,100 --> 00:45:16,300 position to be even working with the champion of that promotion, 968 00:45:16,300 --> 00:45:20,100 never never mind, if they become the champion and become the 969 00:45:20,100 --> 00:45:21,600 representative of that promotion. 970 00:45:23,100 --> 00:45:27,000 I mean attitude is probably every bit as important as the 971 00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:31,700 work ethic in the ring for those types of things to happen and 972 00:45:31,700 --> 00:45:34,900 for you to be a champion of multiple promotions, it 973 00:45:34,900 --> 00:45:37,600 certainly shows that you haven't, you had an attitude. 974 00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:41,500 That was, you know, collaborative and thought and 975 00:45:41,500 --> 00:45:44,600 definitely you thought of yourself to carry yourself that 976 00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:48,400 way for others to see that you've got to believe in 977 00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:50,500 yourself. Would that be four hundred 978 00:45:50,500 --> 00:45:52,200 percent and like, I did jump around there. 979 00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:54,900 Like, I get very excited talking about it now because, like, it's 980 00:45:54,900 --> 00:45:56,300 all it's very exciting stuff, right? 981 00:45:56,300 --> 00:45:58,600 Like to like, sherbet roads, were making all this stuff, but 982 00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:01,900 also, when I was like, taking those steps to like, heal 983 00:46:01,900 --> 00:46:04,700 myself, physically, mentally, it's sort of like watching 984 00:46:04,700 --> 00:46:07,300 wrestling and whatever. The case, I also started to, 985 00:46:07,300 --> 00:46:08,600 because I had to come back to wrestling, right? 986 00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:11,000 Because I took the only during that time in which I was at, 987 00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:14,000 like, my lowest funny enough and like, again, this is why I say 988 00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,300 that you and like Rizzo were somewhat, like, The Guiding 989 00:46:16,300 --> 00:46:17,400 lights. You were the only guys that 990 00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:19,900 would book me in the only guys that like showed me love. 991 00:46:19,900 --> 00:46:22,100 So it's like, that, that kind of, like, save me to write like 992 00:46:22,100 --> 00:46:23,900 that. Year span from like 2015 to 993 00:46:23,900 --> 00:46:27,300 2017, where I was just at my lowest, being a total idiot, the 994 00:46:27,300 --> 00:46:29,400 time in which you guys would use me. 995 00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:31,100 And book me, like, obviously, I would never be messed up. 996 00:46:31,100 --> 00:46:33,900 Well, I'm wrestling, I would Irish wrestling team work 997 00:46:33,900 --> 00:46:35,400 provide. But during that time, like, I 998 00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:38,200 really had no one and I had nothing like I had my, my one 999 00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:40,100 friend who's never gave up on me, who's Kevin? 1000 00:46:40,100 --> 00:46:42,500 Daniel Adonis, he's the one guy that's always been like there 1001 00:46:42,500 --> 00:46:44,300 for me. But aside from that, I would say 1002 00:46:44,300 --> 00:46:46,700 you guys were the only ones that helped me but because I had 1003 00:46:46,700 --> 00:46:49,100 burned every bridge and like made an ass out of myself to 1004 00:46:49,100 --> 00:46:52,100 everybody along with helping myself and loving myself and 1005 00:46:52,107 --> 00:46:54,700 getting My place back to her where I wanted to be, I had to 1006 00:46:54,700 --> 00:46:57,600 like start mending fences and building bridges in like 1007 00:46:57,600 --> 00:47:00,600 extending help and to every person that like wanted or 1008 00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:02,100 needed it. Like if I saw somebody that was 1009 00:47:02,100 --> 00:47:04,400 like having a hard time getting bullied, where were the case? 1010 00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:06,400 I would go over and help me like anything you need any time. 1011 00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:09,500 So I started opening my doors to any person that ever needed any 1012 00:47:09,500 --> 00:47:12,200 kind of like help. So I kind of gained a reputation 1013 00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:14,400 for being like that guy that will help you and like help you 1014 00:47:14,400 --> 00:47:17,100 like see through the problems that you need or breakthrough 1015 00:47:17,100 --> 00:47:19,100 where you need to and wrestling. And because I always had a mind 1016 00:47:19,100 --> 00:47:22,600 for wrestling not to, like, talk myself up but I know I'm I've 1017 00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:24,200 got a genius mind when it comes to wrestling. 1018 00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:26,700 I don't know anything outside of wrestling but I'm a genius in 1019 00:47:26,700 --> 00:47:28,700 wrestling. So I would use that to help 1020 00:47:28,700 --> 00:47:31,500 people and like because of that I kind of got a reputation of 1021 00:47:31,500 --> 00:47:34,400 like again like helping people and people saw that like 1022 00:47:34,400 --> 00:47:36,700 promoter saw that and like, obviously I was working on 1023 00:47:36,707 --> 00:47:39,800 myself in terms of like my in ring I was laser focused. 1024 00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:43,000 I was finally starting to embody what I'd always believed that I 1025 00:47:43,008 --> 00:47:46,800 could and like people started seeing that noticing that and 1026 00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:49,500 then putting Faith behind me, putting faith in me. 1027 00:47:49,500 --> 00:47:51,600 And then, yeah, before I knew it, I had everything I ever 1028 00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:53,800 wanted and is like, I don't really see many people around 1029 00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:55,800 here that can have 45 belts at a time. 1030 00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:58,400 Like I said, there's not a lot of promotions necessarily easy, 1031 00:47:58,700 --> 00:48:00,000 right? And like the Pacific Northwest 1032 00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:03,300 is kind of like, the black hole of wrestling that we're kind of, 1033 00:48:03,300 --> 00:48:05,800 in our own little bubble here. So, to win the money belts, that 1034 00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:08,500 quickly was kind of unheard of and like, it just made me feel 1035 00:48:08,500 --> 00:48:10,600 like, okay. I literally, I have the power 1036 00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:11,900 within me and I can do these things. 1037 00:48:11,900 --> 00:48:14,600 Like an I can take what I want in this life, because I deserve 1038 00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:17,200 it, but again, I hadn't got to my traumas yet, but that was my 1039 00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:21,000 first step of like, if I love myself and I show myself what I, 1040 00:48:21,100 --> 00:48:24,300 what I want and take My wand and know that I can take it, then I 1041 00:48:24,308 --> 00:48:26,900 can take it and I got it. Well I got a few reai. 1042 00:48:26,900 --> 00:48:28,900 Few reactions to what you just said number one. 1043 00:48:28,900 --> 00:48:30,600 Yeah. We're not even talking about the 1044 00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:34,000 time where you've, you know you've had some some some other 1045 00:48:34,300 --> 00:48:36,200 eye-opening experiences since then. 1046 00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:38,900 But again they're all stepping stones that lead to this, right? 1047 00:48:39,400 --> 00:48:42,000 I want to go back to when you said you would burn Bridges with 1048 00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:43,600 everybody and all that. And I appreciate you saying that 1049 00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:48,700 about us and what not, we always came from the perspective and 1050 00:48:48,700 --> 00:48:50,500 then this is this is a life thing for me. 1051 00:48:50,700 --> 00:48:55,300 I don't enjoy. Ting under gossip and pretense 1052 00:48:55,300 --> 00:48:59,400 and and and and I also don't enjoy when somebody tries to 1053 00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:02,700 assassinate somebody's character, especially if it's 1054 00:49:02,700 --> 00:49:06,500 one that I don't have that experience with that person. 1055 00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:12,000 So, so for you and us, you never burned a bridge with us, you 1056 00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:15,200 never you never did anything. In fact there was a time where I 1057 00:49:15,200 --> 00:49:17,000 think we'd use you two or three shows in a row and I think you 1058 00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:20,800 were off one of the, the next shows you showed up and you just 1059 00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:22,200 showed up at the say, hey, how's it going? 1060 00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:25,200 And shake hands. And and if you got a place for 1061 00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:28,300 me to be a part of it and I, you know, I just from that 1062 00:49:28,300 --> 00:49:31,600 perspective for me, you always had the attitude of somebody who 1063 00:49:31,600 --> 00:49:34,200 was a hustler and going for it and what not? 1064 00:49:34,500 --> 00:49:38,600 And if Bridges were being burdened other places we 1065 00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:43,100 certainly, you know, didn't you never burn a bridge with us? 1066 00:49:43,100 --> 00:49:46,800 So so, you know, for guys out there who are in that in that 1067 00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:49,800 place right now, where you think the whole world might be against 1068 00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:53,700 you, it's not necessarily the case and And just go and start 1069 00:49:53,700 --> 00:49:57,400 being a better version of yourself and see what doors are 1070 00:49:57,400 --> 00:49:59,900 actually still open. So I wanted to make sure I 1071 00:49:59,908 --> 00:50:02,000 respond that way because that's a two-way street and Jordi. 1072 00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:06,600 It really is and you never, we always loved you. 1073 00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:09,600 And again, you always put on such a good show, you are the 1074 00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:12,100 man. When it comes to this stuff, I 1075 00:50:12,100 --> 00:50:15,600 love how you started talking about the generosity and giving 1076 00:50:15,600 --> 00:50:17,900 and whatnot. You know, there's a Zig Ziglar 1077 00:50:17,900 --> 00:50:20,300 quote out there where you say that says, if you help other 1078 00:50:20,300 --> 00:50:22,500 people accomplish your goals and dreams, you'll accomplish Goals 1079 00:50:22,500 --> 00:50:26,000 and dreams and that's and I think that that's a life thing. 1080 00:50:26,300 --> 00:50:29,300 I don't think that necessarily has to translate to specific 1081 00:50:29,300 --> 00:50:31,600 things it might. But but at the end of the day 1082 00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:34,800 there's there's no feeling that feels so good then to help 1083 00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:38,800 others and the the selfishness from it or the seemingly 1084 00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:42,600 selfishness part, is you get your cup filled by helping to 1085 00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:45,800 fill other people's cups. And I know you live. 1086 00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:48,300 That I know that's who you are and that's what's in your heart 1087 00:50:48,300 --> 00:50:52,900 and I appreciate that about you. So you've got You know, you've 1088 00:50:52,900 --> 00:50:57,200 got these belts, all the stuffs happening covid hits and and 1089 00:50:57,200 --> 00:51:00,600 we're getting into that we're getting into that that that age 1090 00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:02,400 of 33 here. Where there's been some 1091 00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:04,700 breakthrough moments. You were walking along the path 1092 00:51:04,700 --> 00:51:08,400 along the way you were seeing Improvement, recognizing 1093 00:51:09,300 --> 00:51:13,600 overcoming, some of the things that yourself built for you, the 1094 00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:18,100 obstacles that you self imposed on yourself and you've had some 1095 00:51:18,100 --> 00:51:20,000 moments in our you've smashed through those obstacles. 1096 00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:21,800 What else? Let's let's let's keep moving 1097 00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:23,800 forward. To the closer to the present. 1098 00:51:24,500 --> 00:51:27,700 So January 2020. Yeah. 1099 00:51:27,700 --> 00:51:30,100 I was like, yeah, yeah. Uh, January 2020. 1100 00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:33,300 I was in a table or a four-way Tables, Ladders and Chairs 1101 00:51:33,300 --> 00:51:36,100 match. And it was like, when I was just 1102 00:51:36,100 --> 00:51:39,000 like, I was, I had taken everything I've ever wanted. 1103 00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:41,800 Like I was on top of the world and like I had like a meteoric 1104 00:51:41,800 --> 00:51:42,700 rise in a sense. Right? 1105 00:51:42,700 --> 00:51:45,400 Like around in DC and like I just went from like midcard. 1106 00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:46,900 Nobody eat. I was on the top of the card 1107 00:51:46,900 --> 00:51:48,800 everywhere. Yeah and I got was in a fatal, 1108 00:51:48,800 --> 00:51:52,400 four-way TLC match. And in that match I it was It 1109 00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:54,200 was a very stupid like it anything that happened in 1110 00:51:54,200 --> 00:51:55,900 wrestling, right? Like it's way she goes and I 1111 00:51:55,908 --> 00:51:57,600 don't blame anyone for it because like I put my. 1112 00:51:57,600 --> 00:51:59,700 So you put yourself in the position to have these things 1113 00:51:59,700 --> 00:52:01,700 happen to you. But so there was me and this 1114 00:52:01,700 --> 00:52:03,000 guy, we were sitting beside each other. 1115 00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:04,400 Another wrestler, we're in the middle of the match. 1116 00:52:04,400 --> 00:52:06,900 We're five minutes in and there's a ladder place like 1117 00:52:06,900 --> 00:52:10,400 right here along us, right? And like, it's on the center of 1118 00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:14,300 my sternum and I had my arms up and like, to protect myself, 1119 00:52:14,300 --> 00:52:16,300 just because it's a ladder coming down to you, got to be 1120 00:52:16,300 --> 00:52:17,800 smart, right? Like I should have put my arms 1121 00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:20,900 down here and it was two people that were over 200 pounds. 1122 00:52:20,900 --> 00:52:23,300 Be under 50 pounds, right? They both, Down on the same time 1123 00:52:23,500 --> 00:52:26,300 and it caved in my chest. And it was literally, the worst 1124 00:52:26,300 --> 00:52:29,000 like worst pain I've ever felt. And I had to, I didn't have to, 1125 00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:30,500 but I'm not going to not finish the match. 1126 00:52:30,500 --> 00:52:32,600 So I wrestled 15 more minutes with it. 1127 00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:34,700 And like, it was fucked up, man. It was brutal. 1128 00:52:34,700 --> 00:52:36,600 If there was a literal dent in my chest, and it's the worst 1129 00:52:36,600 --> 00:52:38,100 pain I've ever felt in my entire life. 1130 00:52:38,300 --> 00:52:40,800 And that was the, the absolute Catalyst right there of to, 1131 00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:43,900 like, what awoke me from my unconsciousness. 1132 00:52:44,300 --> 00:52:48,100 But so I caved in my chest and I finish the match. 1133 00:52:48,300 --> 00:52:51,600 I had, I was on WB Smackdown, two weeks after that, and the 1134 00:52:51,607 --> 00:52:54,200 cool thing about That not like everything is like just magic 1135 00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:55,400 over. Makes anything everything works 1136 00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:58,900 as a supposed to flood. So my entire life, since I was 1137 00:52:58,900 --> 00:53:01,900 5, the only thing I wanted to do was get on WWE TV and Beyond 1138 00:53:01,900 --> 00:53:04,300 every TV and BMW recent with. All right? 1139 00:53:04,300 --> 00:53:08,000 Yeah, so I got some Talent or some extra work with them either 1140 00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:11,400 be and I got to be on the actual show on Smackdown like a, my 1141 00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:13,300 first time. They're like, it's just so cool. 1142 00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:16,500 I was security guard and I had a caved in chest. 1143 00:53:16,500 --> 00:53:19,200 This is the funny part, it's not funny, but I had a physical 1144 00:53:19,400 --> 00:53:21,500 couple days before that. And I had a caved in chest at 1145 00:53:21,500 --> 00:53:23,900 the time and I had Act like I didn't hurt at all and like 1146 00:53:23,900 --> 00:53:26,100 there's no pain. Like a caved-in chest against 1147 00:53:26,100 --> 00:53:28,000 the. It's when you breathe, when you 1148 00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:30,300 sneeze, when you lay down, I couldn't sleep. 1149 00:53:30,300 --> 00:53:32,700 I couldn't breathe properly for months, and I had to pretend 1150 00:53:32,700 --> 00:53:35,600 like I had no pain cuz I'm not missing this opportunity so it 1151 00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:37,500 comes to the time and I have a caved-in chest. 1152 00:53:37,500 --> 00:53:40,300 I'm not telling anybody like I'm walking down the ramp because 1153 00:53:40,300 --> 00:53:43,500 we're supposed to be myself and another security guard and Braun 1154 00:53:43,500 --> 00:53:46,100 strowman. This really big dude who was 1155 00:53:46,100 --> 00:53:50,100 there at the time the idea is he runs down the ramp and like tack 1156 00:53:50,100 --> 00:53:53,600 pulls us and for myself like it. That's my moment right there. 1157 00:53:53,600 --> 00:53:55,300 Like, we're supposed to stop the guy, right? 1158 00:53:55,300 --> 00:53:59,600 So, I ran to him as fucking hard as I could, and I kick my feet 1159 00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:03,300 up and like, I went straight on my back on the, the concrete 1160 00:54:03,300 --> 00:54:04,800 more or less. There's a little padding in 1161 00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:07,600 between, but like so I hit my fucking head. 1162 00:54:07,600 --> 00:54:10,100 And I got a concussion on top of it because I like, I went as 1163 00:54:10,100 --> 00:54:13,000 hard as I could into, it's okay, then chest concussion, but it's 1164 00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:15,800 still like the moment I've been dreaming of so I could care less 1165 00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:16,500 that. Guess the thing I've been 1166 00:54:16,500 --> 00:54:20,900 working towards so that happens and it was amazing. 1167 00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:22,100 And I would do it a thousand times. 1168 00:54:22,300 --> 00:54:23,900 Just like, I would go through with the pain that I went 1169 00:54:23,900 --> 00:54:26,200 through of like healing trauma and that's not to say that I 1170 00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:28,500 don't have a lot of work left to do because obviously, I do, 1171 00:54:28,500 --> 00:54:30,500 everyone does. Yeah, but I would go like the 1172 00:54:30,500 --> 00:54:32,300 pain, doesn't matter, right? It's like it's the outcome that 1173 00:54:32,300 --> 00:54:35,200 you can working in her life for this reason, and once you get 1174 00:54:35,200 --> 00:54:36,400 it, it's like I don't give a fuck. 1175 00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:39,500 Hey, and I'll do it again, but so that happened and then a 1176 00:54:39,508 --> 00:54:41,400 couple weeks later the World closed down, right? 1177 00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:45,600 So then wrestling was taken away from me in a sense because like 1178 00:54:45,900 --> 00:54:47,700 and that that is literally my whole identity. 1179 00:54:47,700 --> 00:54:51,200 So your identity was stripped of you is how you viewed that you 1180 00:54:51,207 --> 00:54:53,300 were at the highest. So high that you could be the 1181 00:54:53,300 --> 00:54:58,100 momentum was on your side. Not even physical adversity was 1182 00:54:58,100 --> 00:55:00,000 stopping you from being the best you. 1183 00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,700 You could be at that time, that's how it felt and then 1184 00:55:02,700 --> 00:55:07,500 suddenly everything stops. And that's another thing with 1185 00:55:07,500 --> 00:55:11,400 that to is shortly. After that, I was supposed to go 1186 00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:15,600 to Alberta to wrestle a massive legend in the name of Jason, the 1187 00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:18,000 terrible. The guy's a psycho like Stampede 1188 00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:20,100 Legend crazy guy. Yeah, super cool. 1189 00:55:20,100 --> 00:55:22,800 Awesome. But he's fucking scary and I 1190 00:55:22,800 --> 00:55:25,500 knew he was going to beat my ass because he's just crazy, and 1191 00:55:25,500 --> 00:55:27,200 he's that kind of guy, right? But I'm not trying to say that 1192 00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:31,100 in like a mean non complimentary way, he's just a real ass dude 1193 00:55:31,100 --> 00:55:34,000 who loves to fight. But so I had a caved in chest 1194 00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:38,700 and a couple like shortly. Like I had a caved in chest and 1195 00:55:38,700 --> 00:55:42,400 also had a herniated disc in my neck and that was just from 1196 00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:44,200 Randomness, right? So like, I was kind of falling 1197 00:55:44,200 --> 00:55:48,300 apart and so wrestling was taken away from me, but before 1198 00:55:48,300 --> 00:55:51,000 wrestling was taken away. And before I had this Smackdown 1199 00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:55,500 stuff, I Wait. It might have been shortly 1200 00:55:55,500 --> 00:55:56,600 after. Yeah. 1201 00:55:56,600 --> 00:55:58,600 Okay. So but a convergence of events 1202 00:55:58,600 --> 00:56:01,800 was happening in your life to basically be the Catalyst for 1203 00:56:02,700 --> 00:56:04,600 what was going to happen. Yeah. 1204 00:56:04,600 --> 00:56:06,300 So like wrestling was taken away. 1205 00:56:06,300 --> 00:56:10,100 I was just kind of like left to my own devices to like just be 1206 00:56:10,100 --> 00:56:13,200 in the immense amount of pain that I had and sorry the 1207 00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:15,900 caved-in chest came before the herniated disc in my neck that's 1208 00:56:15,900 --> 00:56:17,300 when wrestling started back up again. 1209 00:56:17,500 --> 00:56:21,500 Yeah, but though I had a caved in chest, it was the worst 1210 00:56:21,500 --> 00:56:22,900 literal pain I've ever felt in my life. 1211 00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:26,200 Life and for three months, that's how long it took me to 1212 00:56:26,200 --> 00:56:28,200 pop it back out. And like, I didn't go see a 1213 00:56:28,200 --> 00:56:29,900 doctor because like, they're just going to tell me, not to 1214 00:56:29,900 --> 00:56:30,900 like wrestle. And even though I'm not 1215 00:56:30,900 --> 00:56:32,700 wrestling, right? I'm just, I'm gonna power 1216 00:56:32,700 --> 00:56:34,000 through what I'm going to tough guy it, right? 1217 00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:37,000 So, I actually popped it out myself and like it was, it was 1218 00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:39,600 horrible because sneezing was the worst pain I ever felt 1219 00:56:39,600 --> 00:56:41,500 because it would like, pop the little bones out little by 1220 00:56:41,500 --> 00:56:42,500 little. So it's like, every time I 1221 00:56:42,508 --> 00:56:45,500 sneeze do but like, a little pop, little pop little pop and 1222 00:56:45,500 --> 00:56:47,300 yeah, like, it was absolutely terrible. 1223 00:56:47,400 --> 00:56:50,900 Here's the funny thing, in that sense like I popped it out to 1224 00:56:50,900 --> 00:56:53,900 the point where there was one part that really Still hurt and 1225 00:56:53,900 --> 00:56:56,800 it was like a tiny bone. But I knew that if I just like 1226 00:56:56,800 --> 00:56:59,200 pushed on it as hard as I could, that I would pop it back out. 1227 00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:01,600 So one night I was at home and there's no wrestling. 1228 00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:03,300 So I'm just sitting there watching wrestling like normal. 1229 00:57:03,300 --> 00:57:05,700 So I just started dancing and I'm like, I know that if I just 1230 00:57:05,700 --> 00:57:08,600 attack this part and just like, do the motion like while dancing 1231 00:57:08,600 --> 00:57:11,600 that like a tax, it that it would eventually fix itself and 1232 00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:13,400 like it hurt to the point where I started crying and I like 1233 00:57:13,400 --> 00:57:16,500 sitting there like cry dancing, just like pushing myself and 1234 00:57:16,500 --> 00:57:19,600 then at one point like just pushed it as hard as I could it 1235 00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:21,400 pop back out and I'm like all the pain is gone. 1236 00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:24,900 Like it literally it's fixed. And it was like I was like if 1237 00:57:24,900 --> 00:57:28,000 you the pure, the cure for the pain is in the pain, in some 1238 00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,700 sense is like, so I just I just pushed it until it was, it was 1239 00:57:30,700 --> 00:57:34,100 fixed and lick. That was my chest and they don't 1240 00:57:34,100 --> 00:57:37,100 try this at home, kids whole new recommended. 1241 00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:44,100 Wow. Okay, wow. 1242 00:57:44,100 --> 00:57:49,400 All right, so your ailments your homeopathic remedy happen to 1243 00:57:49,400 --> 00:57:54,600 work in this case. I listen to my, I've been able 1244 00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:57,000 to always listen to my body, even though like my mind was 1245 00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:59,700 always loud, but I've always had this kind of like knowing of 1246 00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:02,300 where my body needs to go to write help it. 1247 00:58:02,500 --> 00:58:04,500 I guess that's from wrestling, like being in tune with your 1248 00:58:04,500 --> 00:58:06,900 body because like we're almost always wrestling with some sort 1249 00:58:06,900 --> 00:58:08,800 of injury, right? And so like we're going to learn 1250 00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:11,000 how to work around it and you listen to your body, whatever 1251 00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:12,900 the case. But so with that and I don't 1252 00:58:12,900 --> 00:58:13,900 mean to cut you off if you have something. 1253 00:58:13,900 --> 00:58:15,100 No, no, you're good, you're good. 1254 00:58:15,100 --> 00:58:19,300 You keep going. But so II happen to fix that but 1255 00:58:19,400 --> 00:58:22,100 I was still left with the. I have no identity now. 1256 00:58:22,100 --> 00:58:25,000 I don't know who I am. I am and Jordi outside of 1257 00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:28,200 wrestling has always been. So trauma riddled that. 1258 00:58:28,200 --> 00:58:30,900 I didn't feel worthy outside of the Ring. 1259 00:58:30,900 --> 00:58:32,400 I only felt worthy when I was in the ring. 1260 00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:33,900 I only felt like I was the man in the ring. 1261 00:58:34,100 --> 00:58:37,200 So like I had two different. Personas one was like this guy 1262 00:58:37,200 --> 00:58:40,100 that I never looked at and like I, when I thought about like, 1263 00:58:40,200 --> 00:58:42,400 buying new clothes, buying, whatever the case it was always 1264 00:58:42,400 --> 00:58:43,900 like, I'm gonna buy new wrestling girl, but I think 1265 00:58:43,900 --> 00:58:45,700 about this for my wrestling guy. Yeah. 1266 00:58:45,700 --> 00:58:48,000 And then I had to like oh here's real Jordy. 1267 00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:51,300 Here's the guy that no one cared about I didn't care about. 1268 00:58:51,300 --> 00:58:53,800 I've never seen because I was never shown To see myself. 1269 00:58:53,800 --> 00:58:56,600 So I never saw myself in his like, then I had to like start 1270 00:58:56,600 --> 00:58:59,600 getting to know me and then that's when the initiation into 1271 00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:02,800 trauma without being told that I had traumas kind of started. 1272 00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:05,700 But it was. Yeah, it was probably the like 1273 00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:09,400 when I was doing drugs and being an idiot around 28, that was a 1274 00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:12,700 low but this was like the lowest of low because it was like now I 1275 00:59:12,700 --> 00:59:14,900 really have to get into the pain and I can't mask it. 1276 00:59:14,900 --> 00:59:16,600 Imma fucking to, like, do drugs, whatever the case. 1277 00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:21,400 But one of the coolest things I ever had happened was that was 1278 00:59:21,400 --> 00:59:23,900 January. And so, So I got my timelines 1279 00:59:23,900 --> 00:59:27,100 mixed up, so that was January and then I had all this time in 1280 00:59:27,100 --> 00:59:29,300 which I had to get to know myself again. 1281 00:59:29,500 --> 00:59:31,800 And it was, it was extremely beneficial in the sense that I 1282 00:59:31,900 --> 00:59:34,000 finally learned to see myself a little bit. 1283 00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:37,600 But so wrestling starts, back up months later and I start 1284 00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:40,400 wrestling again here and there. However, I can. 1285 00:59:40,600 --> 00:59:42,500 Yeah. And I herniated a disc in my 1286 00:59:42,500 --> 00:59:45,000 neck. And so, that was like, when I 1287 00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:49,400 caved in my chest, I had like shocks running through my arms 1288 00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:52,600 and my legs at all times. And I was losing crank all the 1289 00:59:52,600 --> 00:59:54,200 time. And this is another thing too, 1290 00:59:54,200 --> 00:59:56,500 though. This this adds the story, this 1291 00:59:56,500 --> 00:59:59,000 is the part that I messed up because I could it all just was, 1292 00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:01,000 it's been like a blur for the last few years, right? 1293 01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:02,900 Up like cool thing, painful thing, sure. 1294 01:00:02,900 --> 01:00:07,700 But I caved in my chest and it was the Catalyst to get to that 1295 01:00:07,700 --> 01:00:09,100 little bone. I was talking about where I 1296 01:00:09,100 --> 01:00:11,400 popped it back in. But so, wrestling started back 1297 01:00:11,400 --> 01:00:14,200 up again. And this is before I popped it 1298 01:00:14,200 --> 01:00:16,900 back in. I was at a show on the island of 1299 01:00:16,908 --> 01:00:19,300 Vancouver Island and I was about to win a belt that night. 1300 01:00:19,300 --> 01:00:22,800 So, I had two matches and the first match I was like, I have 1301 01:00:22,800 --> 01:00:25,100 to Take it easy because I still have a caved-in chest and I feel 1302 01:00:25,100 --> 01:00:27,500 really fucked up and five minutes into the match. 1303 01:00:27,800 --> 01:00:30,600 I got pinned hard and it made my chest even worse. 1304 01:00:30,700 --> 01:00:33,300 So I hadn't finished that match. I finished the next match and 1305 01:00:33,300 --> 01:00:37,700 then I went to my sister's house, and as I was laying in my 1306 01:00:37,700 --> 01:00:40,100 sister's house, I was in the most pain I've ever been in to 1307 01:00:40,100 --> 01:00:41,900 the point where I was, I thought I was in shock, right? 1308 01:00:41,900 --> 01:00:43,900 Cuz I was like, yeah, I was sitting there and I was like, 1309 01:00:43,900 --> 01:00:47,000 adjusting myself being like, if I just move this tweak, this 1310 01:00:47,000 --> 01:00:48,100 something will happen. Yeah. 1311 01:00:48,100 --> 01:00:51,900 And then my chest, like fixed itself a tiny bit, but this is 1312 01:00:51,900 --> 01:00:53,400 before, like, it was totally Fixed. 1313 01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:56,300 But if it's this up a little bit but since your sternum plate is 1314 01:00:56,300 --> 01:00:59,700 connected to your, your your spine, the ribs connect. 1315 01:00:59,800 --> 01:01:03,200 I felt it fix on the front but then I fell to go into my back 1316 01:01:03,200 --> 01:01:07,400 and down my back went numb. So like, oh my God, yeah my 1317 01:01:07,400 --> 01:01:12,800 back's numb, my next numb and like I'm losing fucking pain and 1318 01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:15,700 I'm losing feeling on everything and it was just like I sat there 1319 01:01:15,700 --> 01:01:17,900 that night and I was like, I don't think I'm gonna wake up 1320 01:01:17,900 --> 01:01:20,300 tonight or tomorrow morning. So I'm like, if I wake up, then 1321 01:01:20,300 --> 01:01:22,800 I really hope that I get to. But if I don't then I guess that 1322 01:01:22,900 --> 01:01:25,200 lived a nice life and I really hope my sister hasn't come to 1323 01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:28,300 the couch and find me here. Laying here is like a stupid 1324 01:01:28,300 --> 01:01:29,400 question. Why aren't you calling the 1325 01:01:29,400 --> 01:01:31,100 ambulance? Why aren't you at that point? 1326 01:01:31,100 --> 01:01:34,200 They're submitting to the idea that maybe you need a little bit 1327 01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:37,400 of help outside of the hope and a prayer. 1328 01:01:37,400 --> 01:01:39,700 I mean obviously it worked out but I'm just curious what it 1329 01:01:39,700 --> 01:01:40,700 was. Is it pride? 1330 01:01:40,700 --> 01:01:41,200 Is it? Is it? 1331 01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:43,400 What is it that stops you from from that? 1332 01:01:43,800 --> 01:01:47,100 I identified so hard as being a wrestler and like I still do to 1333 01:01:47,100 --> 01:01:48,500 an extent. Like I've come full circle to 1334 01:01:48,500 --> 01:01:53,600 the point where I know that I am a wrestler, like, I've But I 1335 01:01:53,600 --> 01:01:55,500 want to say that without jumping too far ahead. 1336 01:01:55,500 --> 01:01:57,300 Well, I didn't want to stop wrestling. 1337 01:01:58,000 --> 01:02:01,200 I knew like, I had like a lot of matches coming up and so like 1338 01:02:01,400 --> 01:02:05,700 around that time. So it was January 2020. 1339 01:02:05,700 --> 01:02:08,600 When I had my chest caved in it was right after that, in 1340 01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:10,600 February. When I was on, WE Smackdown. 1341 01:02:10,700 --> 01:02:13,000 I spent the next few months. Healing myself, and then 1342 01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:14,600 wrestling started back up again. Yeah. 1343 01:02:14,600 --> 01:02:18,300 And so my chest was still, like, my chest was fine, but my spine 1344 01:02:18,300 --> 01:02:20,400 was fucked up because I like popped it back. 1345 01:02:20,400 --> 01:02:22,400 I popped it into my chest and like, here's the weird thing. 1346 01:02:22,400 --> 01:02:27,600 So, I felt my back, like the, the disks or whatever. 1347 01:02:27,900 --> 01:02:30,500 I felt like it. Like, work itself up every disc. 1348 01:02:30,500 --> 01:02:33,000 So I pop one part of the disk, the next one to move, and I pop 1349 01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:35,600 one part of the disc and the next one is moved and eventually 1350 01:02:35,600 --> 01:02:38,400 got to the point where, like, right here in my soul, I felt 1351 01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:42,700 like a creek there like a like a like a, it was like I try. 1352 01:02:42,700 --> 01:02:46,300 So I always like this, I would pop it and I would snap it and I 1353 01:02:46,300 --> 01:02:48,000 knew that I had the papa to fix it. 1354 01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:52,400 But like so it was like, I popped that part of my chest and 1355 01:02:52,408 --> 01:02:56,400 then I pop Then in my spine and then so I was wrestling semi 1356 01:02:56,400 --> 01:02:58,600 frequently and then that was that night that I fucked my 1357 01:02:58,600 --> 01:03:01,600 chest up even more. So yeah it so that like that 1358 01:03:01,600 --> 01:03:04,400 fucked it up to more so and I didn't again I didn't want to 1359 01:03:04,400 --> 01:03:06,500 stop wrestling right? Because I had that massive 1360 01:03:06,500 --> 01:03:08,300 Jason, the terrible and this is where the timeline I kind of 1361 01:03:08,308 --> 01:03:09,400 messed it up. But yeah. 1362 01:03:09,400 --> 01:03:11,700 Later on in the year I was supposed to wrestle Jason, the 1363 01:03:11,700 --> 01:03:12,500 terrible. And that's when things are 1364 01:03:12,500 --> 01:03:14,900 stopped again. So I was about, was set to fly 1365 01:03:14,900 --> 01:03:17,900 to Calgary, even though I had a herniated disc in my neck, I had 1366 01:03:17,900 --> 01:03:20,400 a fucked-up back because there was another disk that was fucked 1367 01:03:20,400 --> 01:03:21,400 up. I was like, I'm gonna get the 1368 01:03:21,400 --> 01:03:22,700 chance to wrestle. This legendary guy. 1369 01:03:22,900 --> 01:03:25,500 Why, right? So I can't I can't not do that 1370 01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:29,300 but luckily probably beneficial for me. 1371 01:03:29,300 --> 01:03:31,300 That the flight got canceled because they closed the world 1372 01:03:31,300 --> 01:03:33,000 down again for a second time. More or less, right? 1373 01:03:33,000 --> 01:03:34,400 Stop the things again. Yeah. 1374 01:03:34,400 --> 01:03:37,600 So then I was again, just left to sit there and like I was 1375 01:03:37,600 --> 01:03:40,500 sitting with my family just in all this pain and like I had to 1376 01:03:40,500 --> 01:03:43,900 wrestle the week after but it was local like it wasn't like 1377 01:03:43,900 --> 01:03:46,500 interpreter wasn't provincial. Like it wasn't the fly, whatever 1378 01:03:46,500 --> 01:03:49,000 the case. Let's so I was about wrestling 1379 01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:50,900 Vancouver Island again and my neck was fucked up. 1380 01:03:50,900 --> 01:03:53,400 And like my back was fucked up and I was just There with my 1381 01:03:53,400 --> 01:03:56,700 family and like it goes back to my nephew again because he was 1382 01:03:56,700 --> 01:03:59,100 older by now, obviously, the city with them. 1383 01:03:59,100 --> 01:04:01,500 And I'm like I he was asking me to pick him up and I didn't have 1384 01:04:01,500 --> 01:04:03,900 the strength to pick him up. So I was like, she's like trying 1385 01:04:03,900 --> 01:04:06,100 to and try to pretend that I don't have any pain and I don't 1386 01:04:06,100 --> 01:04:08,400 want to tell my family that goes back to trauma two, right? 1387 01:04:08,400 --> 01:04:10,800 Where I was like, I don't feel worthy in the sense of like 1388 01:04:10,800 --> 01:04:12,200 telling people. My story, my problem. 1389 01:04:12,200 --> 01:04:14,700 So I'm just going to like suck it up and be quiet and like just 1390 01:04:14,700 --> 01:04:18,000 just men through the pain. Yeah, and so I was I was sitting 1391 01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:21,000 there thinking to myself I'm like I'm probably going to spend 1392 01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:23,200 the rest of my life in a wheelchair from this point on. 1393 01:04:23,300 --> 01:04:26,700 And I'm going to have to retire from wrestling because like, I 1394 01:04:26,700 --> 01:04:29,100 was, I was set that I was going to tell the promoter that I was 1395 01:04:29,100 --> 01:04:31,300 going to wrestle for like days later because I couldn't feel 1396 01:04:31,300 --> 01:04:33,400 like my limbs. I was like, I'm probably gonna 1397 01:04:33,400 --> 01:04:35,700 have to retire. So I just like sat there and 1398 01:04:35,700 --> 01:04:37,900 like surrendered and this is the first time I've ever truly 1399 01:04:37,900 --> 01:04:40,700 surrendered and I just told myself as like I'm surrounded by 1400 01:04:40,700 --> 01:04:42,500 love, I have love everywhere. No matter what. 1401 01:04:42,500 --> 01:04:45,100 Like this is the story that I've been given, this is the path. 1402 01:04:45,100 --> 01:04:47,600 I'm supposed to be right here, doing this experiencing, this 1403 01:04:47,600 --> 01:04:50,000 pain and like, no matter what, if I'm not supposed Be a 1404 01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:51,700 wrestler then maybe I can be a manager. 1405 01:04:51,700 --> 01:04:53,600 Maybe, I can still do something. Like there's still, there's 1406 01:04:53,600 --> 01:04:56,600 still a purpose that I can live here and like I have my nephew 1407 01:04:56,600 --> 01:04:58,700 here of my family here, they're still love everywhere. 1408 01:04:58,700 --> 01:05:01,100 So I just have to be grateful. And the cool thing was it was 1409 01:05:01,100 --> 01:05:04,700 like not five days later because I had to wrestle the next 1410 01:05:04,700 --> 01:05:07,100 weekend. I was at work and because like 1411 01:05:07,100 --> 01:05:09,700 dancing funny thing enough to when you dance you like you move 1412 01:05:09,700 --> 01:05:12,000 stuck, energy throughout your body and my body. 1413 01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:13,300 It would kind of just told me to do that. 1414 01:05:13,300 --> 01:05:16,700 So I was like, I learned to isolate my neck, like, with, 1415 01:05:16,900 --> 01:05:18,400 with like the isolations for dancing. 1416 01:05:18,400 --> 01:05:22,400 So I did that and I Like pushed the bone this way and I kind of 1417 01:05:22,400 --> 01:05:24,700 met in the middle and it popped my neck back in when I was at 1418 01:05:24,700 --> 01:05:25,900 work. And I was like, I literally 1419 01:05:25,900 --> 01:05:28,400 surrender a couple days before telling myself that I'd be fine 1420 01:05:28,700 --> 01:05:31,100 and then they, they fit like they pop back into place and 1421 01:05:31,100 --> 01:05:32,700 they were good. And it's like, I don't have any 1422 01:05:32,700 --> 01:05:34,700 pain at all anymore. The pain, like the shooting 1423 01:05:34,700 --> 01:05:37,700 fucking feeling of my rent, my arms, and my limbs had stopped. 1424 01:05:37,700 --> 01:05:40,000 And I was just, I was good. And it's like I told me like as 1425 01:05:40,000 --> 01:05:42,300 soon as I like surrender and stop destroying a force 1426 01:05:42,300 --> 01:05:44,400 everything. Then I kind of got my dream back 1427 01:05:44,400 --> 01:05:46,800 and was it was one of the most beautiful things ever and who 1428 01:05:46,800 --> 01:05:48,700 training, Jordy, you're like fucking Wolverine. 1429 01:05:49,300 --> 01:05:54,100 How Your body has the ability to pop its bones back into the 1430 01:05:54,100 --> 01:05:56,000 place and put itself in danger, not. 1431 01:05:56,000 --> 01:05:59,300 And I were going to go get the healing factor in there and I 1432 01:05:59,300 --> 01:06:00,500 mean, I'm not trying to make light of it. 1433 01:06:00,500 --> 01:06:03,700 It's crazy. How how that happened? 1434 01:06:04,500 --> 01:06:11,000 So was that moment where you realized that there is world a 1435 01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:14,600 world outside of at that point what you would constructed? 1436 01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:17,700 I mean and there's so many guys who wrap their entire identity 1437 01:06:17,700 --> 01:06:19,400 around what they do for a living. 1438 01:06:20,100 --> 01:06:23,100 Or their position in their family, the father or husband, 1439 01:06:23,100 --> 01:06:28,600 or whatever a duty of some sort. And when you surrender, you talk 1440 01:06:28,600 --> 01:06:32,500 about this moment of surrender and how it's not about the 1441 01:06:32,500 --> 01:06:34,300 wrestling. It's about all the things that 1442 01:06:34,300 --> 01:06:40,100 you were present in that moment and grateful for was there a 1443 01:06:40,100 --> 01:06:41,500 catalyst for that? Or it? 1444 01:06:41,500 --> 01:06:43,900 Was it just the universe? Just saying, okay, here you go. 1445 01:06:44,100 --> 01:06:46,300 It's for you or did you read something to you? 1446 01:06:46,700 --> 01:06:48,700 What was the AHA? What was the Catalyst for the 1447 01:06:48,700 --> 01:06:51,400 aha moment? Is it just the fact that you 1448 01:06:51,400 --> 01:06:55,100 were coming to grips with the fact that you were taking stock 1449 01:06:55,100 --> 01:06:58,100 that you actually did have a lot more than wrestling? 1450 01:06:58,100 --> 01:06:59,600 Is that is that really what it was? 1451 01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:03,500 It was literally just sitting in my sister's living room sitting 1452 01:07:03,500 --> 01:07:06,100 with my nephew after I had thrown him up and like, was like 1453 01:07:06,100 --> 01:07:07,900 playing with them. I was just sitting with all of 1454 01:07:07,900 --> 01:07:09,500 them and he was just asking me to play and I'm like there was 1455 01:07:09,500 --> 01:07:11,800 so much love around me. I'm like, how can I not be 1456 01:07:11,800 --> 01:07:13,600 appreciative of this and not think about the things that I 1457 01:07:13,607 --> 01:07:15,000 don't have in terms of like wrestling? 1458 01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:17,500 Like I've lived in awesome wrestling career, even to that 1459 01:07:17,500 --> 01:07:20,300 point and I was like, I have literally nothing but love 1460 01:07:20,300 --> 01:07:21,800 surrounding me. So how can I not be grateful, 1461 01:07:21,800 --> 01:07:23,100 right? And like when I did that, like 1462 01:07:23,700 --> 01:07:27,000 when you're, when you were in your grateful, you open yourself 1463 01:07:27,000 --> 01:07:28,800 up to Miracles, right? Like you become like on the 1464 01:07:28,800 --> 01:07:32,100 vibration for miracles to happen and like I did, that's the thing 1465 01:07:32,100 --> 01:07:35,900 is like when I started to just feel the love and love myself 1466 01:07:35,900 --> 01:07:37,800 and love what was around me and again, that was right before I 1467 01:07:37,800 --> 01:07:42,000 was like, before I started a tackling traumas and like when I 1468 01:07:42,000 --> 01:07:44,300 started getting embodying love and feeling loved and letting 1469 01:07:44,300 --> 01:07:46,000 myself feel it. So, I guess it was one of the 1470 01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:48,400 first times my heart opened. Then that's what happened is. 1471 01:07:48,400 --> 01:07:50,700 Like, it was just that moment is like, Sparkle of everywhere. 1472 01:07:50,700 --> 01:07:53,100 What am I doing? I would submit that. 1473 01:07:53,100 --> 01:07:55,300 You needed to be in this place in order to truly tackle. 1474 01:07:55,300 --> 01:07:57,600 The traumas. Yeah, 100%. 1475 01:07:57,600 --> 01:07:58,800 I guess. Just, you know, you're another 1476 01:07:58,800 --> 01:08:00,600 one of those Stepping Stones were talking about. 1477 01:08:00,800 --> 01:08:02,000 Yes sir. Yeah. 1478 01:08:03,400 --> 01:08:08,700 I I I love you for having this moment you talk you you know a 1479 01:08:08,700 --> 01:08:12,000 lot of folks don't necessarily hear pro wrestlers or guys who 1480 01:08:12,000 --> 01:08:18,600 you know have that that stereotypical male testosterone 1481 01:08:18,600 --> 01:08:21,899 persona. Talk like this and it's one of 1482 01:08:21,907 --> 01:08:24,700 the, it's one of the reasons why, you know, when you and I 1483 01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:29,300 reached out a few days ago and I like I want to have guys like 1484 01:08:29,300 --> 01:08:32,899 you on this podcast all the time to break through and to talk 1485 01:08:32,899 --> 01:08:36,100 about these moments of Awakening and awareness. 1486 01:08:36,100 --> 01:08:38,300 And it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside or the 1487 01:08:38,300 --> 01:08:41,899 actions of what you have done. When these, when these moments 1488 01:08:41,899 --> 01:08:45,700 happen and these moments of awareness show up and we pay 1489 01:08:45,700 --> 01:08:49,300 attention and we lean into them and we actually do something. 1490 01:08:49,700 --> 01:08:53,399 It's even if it's a baby step at a time to lean into those 1491 01:08:53,399 --> 01:08:56,100 moments. How much better Our Lives can 1492 01:08:56,100 --> 01:08:57,600 be? I say that myself included, I've 1493 01:08:57,600 --> 01:09:03,300 got my own that I've got to lean into as well and it's hearing 1494 01:09:03,300 --> 01:09:07,100 guys talk about this stuff. There are so many guys out there 1495 01:09:07,100 --> 01:09:11,800 who hear this and will it take this and internalize it and and 1496 01:09:11,800 --> 01:09:13,800 the gratefulness I think I think you're exactly right. 1497 01:09:13,800 --> 01:09:15,700 Gratefulness is a silver bullet for anxiety. 1498 01:09:15,899 --> 01:09:19,500 It's a silver bullet for for when you're uncertain about. 1499 01:09:19,600 --> 01:09:20,899 Out things gratefulness is one of those. 1500 01:09:20,899 --> 01:09:23,600 It's, it is a silver bullet. It's so important. 1501 01:09:23,600 --> 01:09:27,700 And when you have that, and there's so many things that we 1502 01:09:27,700 --> 01:09:31,000 can be grateful for that we just overlooked and we're not were 1503 01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:34,399 not present and we're not aware and and for you to talk about 1504 01:09:34,399 --> 01:09:38,399 this and how it's a simple Act of awareness of the love around 1505 01:09:38,399 --> 01:09:42,800 you and how suddenly that it becomes a that Avalanche that we 1506 01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:45,100 were talking about. So what did it lead to? 1507 01:09:45,100 --> 01:09:46,500 So what traumas have you lean into? 1508 01:09:46,500 --> 01:09:49,399 What Awakenings, have you found since that moment? 1509 01:09:50,600 --> 01:09:53,000 I mean, it's a, it's been a mountain. 1510 01:09:53,100 --> 01:09:57,000 I like I've, I've never really seen myself and like, from that 1511 01:09:57,000 --> 01:10:02,400 time that wasn't that was more. So just like getting to awaken 1512 01:10:02,400 --> 01:10:05,700 in a sense of like learning that I had all these traumas and then 1513 01:10:05,700 --> 01:10:08,900 like I started like I funny enough like I started to like 1514 01:10:08,900 --> 01:10:12,500 tell myself but like I deserve wonderful things. 1515 01:10:12,500 --> 01:10:15,700 I deserve a wonderful life and I started talking to the universe, 1516 01:10:15,700 --> 01:10:17,300 right? Like I started like like having 1517 01:10:17,300 --> 01:10:20,600 a conscious conversation at all times mean like Be guidance. 1518 01:10:20,600 --> 01:10:23,200 Where am I supposed to go next? What is, what's the next thing 1519 01:10:23,200 --> 01:10:25,700 that's for me? And like, just, like I would 1520 01:10:25,700 --> 01:10:27,900 affirm that, like, I'm destined for love. 1521 01:10:27,900 --> 01:10:30,100 I'm a destine for, like, everything that I've ever wanted 1522 01:10:30,300 --> 01:10:33,900 in the so, like I the next thing I said, was like, I want to have 1523 01:10:34,300 --> 01:10:36,200 a loving partner like a conscious partner, weight of the 1524 01:10:36,200 --> 01:10:40,700 case and lo and behold like a few months later, a woman that I 1525 01:10:40,700 --> 01:10:43,600 had a crush on in high school ended up just stumbling in front 1526 01:10:43,600 --> 01:10:46,800 of me and was like not like literally but like it's like she 1527 01:10:46,800 --> 01:10:51,800 crossed your path like I got That is like, the more I look 1528 01:10:51,800 --> 01:10:54,000 back, the more I realized that I had been given everything I've 1529 01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:55,800 ever asked for like, that was another thing. 1530 01:10:55,800 --> 01:10:59,300 And the like, then like wrestling just started, like 1531 01:11:00,300 --> 01:11:02,600 piling up with more cool experiences, more cool 1532 01:11:02,600 --> 01:11:04,800 opportunities. And like before I know it, like, 1533 01:11:05,000 --> 01:11:08,400 now I'm the man around here like now, I have everything I do. 1534 01:11:09,000 --> 01:11:11,000 Like I do the things that I love all the time. 1535 01:11:11,000 --> 01:11:14,200 My life is literally just filled with love, but like, during the 1536 01:11:14,200 --> 01:11:17,000 things, the traumas that I hadn't liked tackled that I have 1537 01:11:17,000 --> 01:11:19,700 now is like, not being seen as I had to start looking at like 1538 01:11:19,900 --> 01:11:22,400 They'll feel like seeing myself and seeing that I deserve things 1539 01:11:22,900 --> 01:11:25,100 and like, not being, I gotta start going to stop you for a 1540 01:11:25,108 --> 01:11:26,300 second. If there's a guy out there right 1541 01:11:26,300 --> 01:11:28,900 now, who's feeling, like they're not seen, they're feeling like 1542 01:11:28,900 --> 01:11:30,400 they are the man who wasn't there. 1543 01:11:30,600 --> 01:11:34,200 What would you say to that guy? Right now, the only love that 1544 01:11:34,200 --> 01:11:37,300 you can, the only love you need is the love that you give 1545 01:11:37,300 --> 01:11:39,800 yourself, like if your inner child was never seen, it wasn't 1546 01:11:39,800 --> 01:11:42,800 your parents fault. It's it's nobody's fault that 1547 01:11:42,800 --> 01:11:44,700 they weren't able to give you what you needed. 1548 01:11:44,700 --> 01:11:48,200 But as an adult, it's your job to repair it yourself. 1549 01:11:48,200 --> 01:11:51,100 And in those moments in which you don't feel, Seen, then you 1550 01:11:51,100 --> 01:11:53,200 have to see yourself and like tell yourself that it was no 1551 01:11:53,200 --> 01:11:56,500 one's fault and like you're not unworthy, your you're worth 1552 01:11:56,600 --> 01:12:00,000 everything that you could ever ask for like and it's not it's 1553 01:12:00,000 --> 01:12:02,600 not a problem for you to take up space and take up the things 1554 01:12:02,600 --> 01:12:04,900 that you want in your life is like, you deserve everything. 1555 01:12:04,900 --> 01:12:07,800 We all deserve everything. We're just, we have so much. 1556 01:12:07,900 --> 01:12:10,800 Most of us are in survival mode and we don't know how to even 1557 01:12:10,800 --> 01:12:12,700 look at anything because we're just like, okay, how do I need 1558 01:12:12,700 --> 01:12:14,600 to? How do I get more food in the 1559 01:12:14,600 --> 01:12:15,700 house? How do I pay rent? 1560 01:12:15,700 --> 01:12:18,700 How do I do this thing? Like it's not like we just think 1561 01:12:18,700 --> 01:12:19,700 that like a when I get enough stuff. 1562 01:12:20,100 --> 01:12:22,200 Then I'll be happy instead of being like I just need to decide 1563 01:12:22,200 --> 01:12:25,300 to be happy and decide that I need my own. 1564 01:12:26,100 --> 01:12:30,000 Like I just need to love myself and know that I deserve love and 1565 01:12:30,000 --> 01:12:32,100 know that I deserve anything I've ever asked for. 1566 01:12:32,100 --> 01:12:36,300 So, like being seen, you're the only one that can see yourself 1567 01:12:36,300 --> 01:12:38,400 truly and we all deserve to be seen. 1568 01:12:38,400 --> 01:12:39,900 We all deserve to be loved, right? 1569 01:12:40,200 --> 01:12:44,700 That starts with using yourself. Yeah, I love that. 1570 01:12:45,000 --> 01:12:48,400 There's a book that I just, I adore called The Power of Now, 1571 01:12:48,400 --> 01:12:50,600 by Eckhart Tolle and Love someone. 1572 01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:55,700 It's such a it's such a it will make you question the way that 1573 01:12:55,700 --> 01:12:59,500 you interpret, everything that goes on in your life, including 1574 01:12:59,500 --> 01:13:04,100 what your head tells you and and it gives you tools to kind of 1575 01:13:04,100 --> 01:13:09,100 separate yourself from those things and and how you can in 1576 01:13:09,200 --> 01:13:13,600 those moments become still and become president and it's it is 1577 01:13:13,600 --> 01:13:18,200 a phenomenal tool that can be used and Outlook. 1578 01:13:19,300 --> 01:13:24,200 So I want to I want to be cognizant of time. 1579 01:13:24,200 --> 01:13:26,400 We're in an hour and 10 minutes and I want to I want to make 1580 01:13:26,400 --> 01:13:29,900 sure that we're you know, not taking too much time for our 1581 01:13:29,907 --> 01:13:31,400 viewers and listeners but at the end of the day, the 1582 01:13:31,400 --> 01:13:35,200 transformation that you have you have gone through from who you 1583 01:13:35,200 --> 01:13:40,200 were to who you are now and it's funny, you know, it's I'm going 1584 01:13:40,200 --> 01:13:43,300 to, I'm going to be kind of literal here, literally talking 1585 01:13:43,400 --> 01:13:46,800 from like like, you know, picture the the the 1586 01:13:46,800 --> 01:13:50,800 quintessential athlete in your mind of Ballplayer or what, a 1587 01:13:50,808 --> 01:13:56,800 testosterone-fueled individual, you know, over to kind of a Zen, 1588 01:13:57,000 --> 01:13:59,700 kind of a Zen, kind of guy, what, not that. 1589 01:13:59,700 --> 01:14:04,800 I've watching that happen with you, take us to take us home on 1590 01:14:04,800 --> 01:14:06,800 the journey as to where you are now. 1591 01:14:06,800 --> 01:14:09,500 One of the things that we haven't explored yet in this 1592 01:14:09,500 --> 01:14:12,800 journey here Jordi because it's amazing, the transformation that 1593 01:14:12,800 --> 01:14:14,900 has happened in you. The blessings that have come 1594 01:14:14,900 --> 01:14:17,600 from it, please please. Yeah, take us to take us. 1595 01:14:17,600 --> 01:14:20,500 Take us home in that Journey. That means A lot and I'm sorry 1596 01:14:20,500 --> 01:14:23,000 if I talk in jumbles because like there's a bunch of 1597 01:14:23,008 --> 01:14:24,600 different timelines. Whatever the case that I we're 1598 01:14:24,600 --> 01:14:26,400 good, if there's a bunch of going on. 1599 01:14:26,400 --> 01:14:29,800 But anyways, like nowadays, I just now I'm just like, and I'm 1600 01:14:29,800 --> 01:14:31,800 not to say that I'm perfect. Everyone still learning, I'm 1601 01:14:31,800 --> 01:14:35,000 still learning, but like now, I'm more present than I've ever 1602 01:14:35,000 --> 01:14:37,300 been. When something comes up and it 1603 01:14:37,300 --> 01:14:38,800 obviously still gets me sometimes. 1604 01:14:38,900 --> 01:14:41,600 But like, when something comes up now it's like, okay, what is 1605 01:14:41,600 --> 01:14:45,100 this trigger coming up? Like what have I not reconciled 1606 01:14:45,100 --> 01:14:47,100 with in my inner child? Like my inner child leading to 1607 01:14:47,108 --> 01:14:49,300 be seen in this moment. It's needing to be heard. 1608 01:14:49,500 --> 01:14:51,300 Well, There's the things come up. 1609 01:14:51,300 --> 01:14:53,100 There are teachers, right? Like when we're having emotions 1610 01:14:53,100 --> 01:14:54,700 come up. We're having feelings or 1611 01:14:54,700 --> 01:14:56,100 whatever. The case, I get something trying 1612 01:14:56,100 --> 01:14:58,200 to tell us like something that we weren't validated with as a 1613 01:14:58,208 --> 01:14:59,200 child. And the only thing about 1614 01:14:59,200 --> 01:15:00,900 location, we're going to get is by ourselves. 1615 01:15:00,900 --> 01:15:03,100 So like now I really just love my life. 1616 01:15:03,100 --> 01:15:07,100 Like I know that everything that happens to me, is exactly what's 1617 01:15:07,100 --> 01:15:10,100 meant to happen to me for my highest good and like I live 1618 01:15:10,100 --> 01:15:11,600 dream. Like my life is amazing. 1619 01:15:11,600 --> 01:15:14,400 Like I went from like smoking crack and meth to being like now 1620 01:15:14,400 --> 01:15:15,800 my life is amazing. I don't need to hide for 1621 01:15:15,800 --> 01:15:18,100 anything and like I did do all those drugs and whatever the 1622 01:15:18,100 --> 01:15:20,400 case so I could hide for myself and now Like, I don't want to 1623 01:15:20,407 --> 01:15:22,200 hide from myself now. I just want to be right here 1624 01:15:22,200 --> 01:15:23,900 living. This magical thing that I have, 1625 01:15:23,900 --> 01:15:26,300 which is my life. I'm like I said, the more I do 1626 01:15:26,300 --> 01:15:28,800 that, the more like I literally just get everything that I want, 1627 01:15:28,800 --> 01:15:31,800 because I'm always in the, the vibration for miracles in my 1628 01:15:31,808 --> 01:15:33,700 life is a giant Miracle which is wonderful. 1629 01:15:34,900 --> 01:15:37,800 It's phenomenal to hear this Geordi. 1630 01:15:37,800 --> 01:15:40,000 I read something. I forget where it was. 1631 01:15:40,100 --> 01:15:42,700 We're with the where it was it. I read it. 1632 01:15:42,700 --> 01:15:46,100 But actually, you something like candy, it's something that she 1633 01:15:46,100 --> 01:15:48,900 wants to help incorporate into the heat change to adapt, 1634 01:15:49,000 --> 01:15:51,400 actually. Talking about fear and how fear 1635 01:15:52,100 --> 01:15:54,100 if we could look at it, we can identify it. 1636 01:15:54,300 --> 01:15:57,300 And if we can put a filter on when we recognize that we are 1637 01:15:57,308 --> 01:16:00,200 afraid, or that were uncertain and we say, okay, well what if 1638 01:16:00,200 --> 01:16:03,200 this is a gift from the universe meant to teach me something and 1639 01:16:03,200 --> 01:16:06,500 you you kind of alluded to that. Um, and it just reminded me of 1640 01:16:06,500 --> 01:16:10,600 what candy was saying and how, what if we as men every single 1641 01:16:10,600 --> 01:16:11,900 time? Something that brings up 1642 01:16:11,900 --> 01:16:13,700 anxiety. Something that brings up, fear, 1643 01:16:13,700 --> 01:16:15,000 whatever. What if we could kind of 1644 01:16:15,000 --> 01:16:18,100 separate ourselves from the emotion and analyze it and go. 1645 01:16:18,100 --> 01:16:19,300 Okay, what's it trying to teach me? 1646 01:16:20,300 --> 01:16:22,300 Was it trying to make me deal with from the past you talk 1647 01:16:22,300 --> 01:16:24,500 about the inner child? And I mean you know it's funny 1648 01:16:24,500 --> 01:16:27,200 childhood traumas childhood trauma, it doesn't it doesn't 1649 01:16:27,200 --> 01:16:30,600 have to be that we were physically or mentally abused or 1650 01:16:30,600 --> 01:16:32,600 something like that. It could be the way that someone 1651 01:16:32,600 --> 01:16:35,900 looked at us wrong on the playground on that day and how 1652 01:16:35,900 --> 01:16:39,200 we interpreted it that day. And it created a block of some 1653 01:16:39,200 --> 01:16:44,000 sort that can affect us now and only by analyzing like what you 1654 01:16:44,000 --> 01:16:45,500 just said like how can this teach me? 1655 01:16:45,500 --> 01:16:48,700 What is it trying to tell me? What is this a result of asking 1656 01:16:48,700 --> 01:16:52,200 those questions? Jordy, you're a changed guy. 1657 01:16:52,200 --> 01:16:55,900 Like you have a very different Outlook than you did and I'm 1658 01:16:55,900 --> 01:17:00,100 astounded by it. And and you talking about some 1659 01:17:00,100 --> 01:17:02,600 of these behaviors and some of these thought patterns that you 1660 01:17:02,600 --> 01:17:06,700 have now certainly are filling in gaps as to how you've made 1661 01:17:06,700 --> 01:17:11,000 such a radical mental change. Do you think that that mental 1662 01:17:11,300 --> 01:17:13,800 change that adjustment is possible for any guy out there? 1663 01:17:14,400 --> 01:17:18,400 Any guy like we're all the same? Really like we all have the same 1664 01:17:18,400 --> 01:17:21,000 traumas and not all Typically the same, but we all have the 1665 01:17:21,008 --> 01:17:23,000 same challenges. We're all facing challenges, we 1666 01:17:23,000 --> 01:17:24,900 all feel Sadness. The same, we all feel love the 1667 01:17:24,900 --> 01:17:26,100 same. We all have the same strength 1668 01:17:26,100 --> 01:17:28,100 within us. Everybody has the ability to do 1669 01:17:28,100 --> 01:17:29,100 it. It's just whether they're 1670 01:17:29,100 --> 01:17:32,300 willing to love themselves enough to make that change. 1671 01:17:32,300 --> 01:17:34,200 And like a lot of it is, we don't feel safe because we're 1672 01:17:34,200 --> 01:17:35,500 not taught how to feel safe, right? 1673 01:17:35,500 --> 01:17:38,600 Like but when those things come up, all we have to do not get, 1674 01:17:38,600 --> 01:17:40,700 it is my thing. But like I guess the thing that 1675 01:17:40,700 --> 01:17:43,300 I do is like I tell myself like I'm safe, I got safe to feel 1676 01:17:43,300 --> 01:17:45,200 this. I'm safe to work through this. 1677 01:17:45,200 --> 01:17:48,800 I'm safe in my skin right now and like we're not what our 1678 01:17:48,800 --> 01:17:51,800 traumas. Gave us like we're we can choose 1679 01:17:51,800 --> 01:17:53,700 who we are every day, right? Like we can choose to run our 1680 01:17:53,700 --> 01:17:57,300 patterns and run the things that like that we had coming up like 1681 01:17:57,300 --> 01:18:00,700 throughout our lives. Or we can be right here right 1682 01:18:00,700 --> 01:18:03,500 now and accept everything that's happened to us and then like, 1683 01:18:03,800 --> 01:18:06,400 just choose to live choose to love and choose to be grateful. 1684 01:18:07,500 --> 01:18:10,400 I've got two things that I want to, I want to bring up and then 1685 01:18:10,400 --> 01:18:12,500 I want to take her home if that's okay. 1686 01:18:13,400 --> 01:18:16,800 The the first thing is well the second thing is going to be how 1687 01:18:16,800 --> 01:18:18,800 do people get in contact with you cuz I think that's really 1688 01:18:18,800 --> 01:18:20,200 important. But the first thing, NG before I 1689 01:18:20,208 --> 01:18:24,100 do that, when you found out about what my wife and her team 1690 01:18:24,100 --> 01:18:27,800 are building this men's mental Wellness platform, this app 1691 01:18:27,800 --> 01:18:30,300 prevention in your pocket, they like to call it these tools that 1692 01:18:30,300 --> 01:18:34,300 we want to be give for guys to equip them with these skills 1693 01:18:34,300 --> 01:18:36,300 that you have learned through the School of Hard Knocks. 1694 01:18:36,600 --> 01:18:39,000 When you heard about he changed the, he changed it out. 1695 01:18:39,000 --> 01:18:40,300 What is it about that? That's got you. 1696 01:18:40,308 --> 01:18:43,900 So excited, it's literally every guy needs like a we're all 1697 01:18:43,900 --> 01:18:46,600 taught to be strong, be tough being, whatever the case. 1698 01:18:46,600 --> 01:18:49,700 But like in order to be vulnerable, which we all need to 1699 01:18:49,900 --> 01:18:52,600 We need to start diving into our things and like, like that's 1700 01:18:52,600 --> 01:18:56,100 literally what you're providing is like we all have hard times 1701 01:18:56,100 --> 01:18:59,500 and hard lives but like the change comes from within and the 1702 01:18:59,500 --> 01:19:01,500 only one that's going to love yourself and give yourself that 1703 01:19:01,500 --> 01:19:02,900 changes you. And like you're giving that 1704 01:19:02,900 --> 01:19:04,900 awareness. You're giving platform for 1705 01:19:04,900 --> 01:19:07,400 people to talk about that same kind of change that they've had 1706 01:19:07,400 --> 01:19:09,800 right? Like not only is it wonderful to 1707 01:19:09,800 --> 01:19:13,200 listen to but it's also amazing to and therapeutic to get it off 1708 01:19:13,200 --> 01:19:14,400 your chest. Like I've never really told the 1709 01:19:14,400 --> 01:19:15,700 story of like my upbringing, right? 1710 01:19:15,700 --> 01:19:18,900 So like it's just as therapeutic for me to be able to like get it 1711 01:19:18,900 --> 01:19:19,600 out finally. Right. 1712 01:19:19,700 --> 01:19:21,100 Right. It's, it's beautiful. 1713 01:19:21,100 --> 01:19:24,000 At the biggest freedom to have. Yeah, its freedom. 1714 01:19:24,000 --> 01:19:26,600 I me and it's funny. The ironic part about it is we 1715 01:19:26,600 --> 01:19:30,700 try and, you know, man up by staying tough and not bring it 1716 01:19:30,700 --> 01:19:33,500 up and all that. But but really you show that 1717 01:19:33,500 --> 01:19:35,200 you're tough by being able to be vulnerable. 1718 01:19:35,200 --> 01:19:37,000 That's the ironic part about the whole thing. 1719 01:19:38,700 --> 01:19:41,100 The much though, it's a mind. Fuck, isn't it, man? 1720 01:19:41,100 --> 01:19:44,200 Like the things that lead to success are the things that 1721 01:19:44,200 --> 01:19:48,700 naturally, you know, it's not necessarily intuitive until 1722 01:19:48,700 --> 01:19:50,700 you've gone through it and once you Through it it's like oh my 1723 01:19:50,700 --> 01:19:56,600 God, how many years did I spend? In your case, you know, not 1724 01:19:56,600 --> 01:19:59,600 giving yourself credit for even being there not being seen 1725 01:20:00,900 --> 01:20:03,900 goddamn, I mean there's so many guys that that are in that place 1726 01:20:03,900 --> 01:20:06,200 right now and we want to help and that what's what leads me to 1727 01:20:06,200 --> 01:20:07,800 you are a guy that wants to help. 1728 01:20:07,900 --> 01:20:10,400 And at the end of the day, this app in this movement is all 1729 01:20:10,400 --> 01:20:11,700 about guys being able to help each other. 1730 01:20:11,700 --> 01:20:15,600 We're not therapists, but we're brothers for each other and we 1731 01:20:15,600 --> 01:20:18,200 can and that helps that's a lot of the time. 1732 01:20:18,200 --> 01:20:22,600 And again, we're not for Those who have have real severe, 1733 01:20:22,600 --> 01:20:25,300 things that need to be dealt with, by the, by the proper 1734 01:20:25,900 --> 01:20:28,200 channels. Go deal with those things, you 1735 01:20:28,200 --> 01:20:30,000 know. But but when it comes to what 1736 01:20:30,100 --> 01:20:33,700 the goal for this for this movement is, is, you know, you 1737 01:20:33,700 --> 01:20:36,200 do a lot of yoga, guess what chances are, you're not going to 1738 01:20:36,208 --> 01:20:39,700 have to go to the doctor for a lot of cardiovascular things and 1739 01:20:39,700 --> 01:20:42,700 and or or muscle things or that that being said, it's 1740 01:20:42,700 --> 01:20:45,900 preventative. And that's what this movement is 1741 01:20:45,900 --> 01:20:50,300 here, where guys can actually talk about this stuff and It can 1742 01:20:50,300 --> 01:20:54,500 prevent having to deal with worst things. 1743 01:20:54,500 --> 01:20:57,300 Down the line Jordi is a helper Jordi. 1744 01:20:57,400 --> 01:20:59,500 At the end of the day, you're still doing what you're doing. 1745 01:20:59,500 --> 01:21:02,800 You're out there. If somebody wants to attach 1746 01:21:02,800 --> 01:21:06,500 themselves to you or look at what you're doing or reach out 1747 01:21:06,500 --> 01:21:07,800 to you, what's the best way to do that? 1748 01:21:08,500 --> 01:21:12,600 Jody Taylor on Facebook Jo, RDI, etay Lor, on Facebook. 1749 01:21:12,600 --> 01:21:14,200 I'm that's where I mostly on stuff. 1750 01:21:14,500 --> 01:21:16,700 Inner-city Mystic is my Instagram and the best pro 1751 01:21:16,700 --> 01:21:18,800 wrestlers, my other Instagram. And like that's usually where I 1752 01:21:18,808 --> 01:21:20,800 stay as on those. The best pro wrestler. 1753 01:21:20,800 --> 01:21:22,300 You're the best pro wrestler on Instagram. 1754 01:21:22,500 --> 01:21:23,800 I'm legitimately the best pro wrestler. 1755 01:21:23,800 --> 01:21:25,600 There is so I have to label it on Instagram. 1756 01:21:28,800 --> 01:21:32,000 When I feel like you're offering is love like it's glove to 1757 01:21:32,000 --> 01:21:35,400 everyone like and there isn't a situation that enough love can't 1758 01:21:35,400 --> 01:21:37,400 solve, right? Like love is the cure for 1759 01:21:37,400 --> 01:21:39,400 everything, whether it's self love, whether it's love from 1760 01:21:39,400 --> 01:21:40,400 someone else, trying to help you. 1761 01:21:40,400 --> 01:21:43,400 And I could literally all of his like, men just need to embrace 1762 01:21:43,400 --> 01:21:45,700 love and like embrace the love within themselves and that's how 1763 01:21:45,700 --> 01:21:47,700 you open your heart, right? Like that's all it is, is just 1764 01:21:48,300 --> 01:21:53,900 offering the gift of love. I want to finish it right there 1765 01:21:53,900 --> 01:21:56,700 that I don't think that there's a better excuse explanation, 1766 01:21:56,800 --> 01:21:59,700 exclamation point to put on there Geordi. 1767 01:21:59,700 --> 01:22:04,100 I love you brother and I'm so grateful that you, you know, are 1768 01:22:04,100 --> 01:22:05,600 are vulnerable enough to talk about this stuff. 1769 01:22:05,600 --> 01:22:08,500 Thank you for helping people. I'm so proud of, I hate to say 1770 01:22:08,500 --> 01:22:10,600 this about saying, it sounds exciting, condescending. 1771 01:22:10,700 --> 01:22:13,600 I'm so fucking proud of you. And and, and it's amazing to 1772 01:22:13,600 --> 01:22:18,300 watch where you've come from and and and and where you're going. 1773 01:22:18,300 --> 01:22:21,200 And I just I'm on And to be part of it Jordi, thank you very much 1774 01:22:21,200 --> 01:22:23,200 for taking time to be on on he casted. 1775 01:22:23,200 --> 01:22:25,000 And talk about this stuff. Thank you. 1776 01:22:25,000 --> 01:22:26,500 And I love you too, brother. Thank you for having me. 1777 01:22:26,500 --> 01:22:28,400 It's been wonderful. Oh, no problem. 1778 01:22:28,500 --> 01:22:30,900 They'll K. They finish that quickly. 1779 01:22:30,900 --> 01:22:32,900 They got the time goes really, really quick. 1780 01:22:32,900 --> 01:22:34,900 It's my favorite time of the week is, when I get to do these 1781 01:22:34,900 --> 01:22:38,600 things. I am very, very appreciative of 1782 01:22:38,600 --> 01:22:42,000 all of the support that we have gotten so far, with this, with 1783 01:22:42,000 --> 01:22:44,700 this, he changed to movement. You haven't seen anything yet. 1784 01:22:45,200 --> 01:22:47,800 I promise you that. If you haven't downloaded the 1785 01:22:47,800 --> 01:22:48,900 heat, change it up. What the heck? 1786 01:22:48,900 --> 01:22:51,100 Are you waiting for? For no matter your persuasion 1787 01:22:51,100 --> 01:22:54,600 whether you're an Android or an apple person search he changed 1788 01:22:54,600 --> 01:22:56,500 it in the app store, download it for free. 1789 01:22:56,700 --> 01:23:01,200 Find get the app sign on in and look at some of the resources we 1790 01:23:01,200 --> 01:23:02,700 have. Once again, you ain't seen 1791 01:23:02,700 --> 01:23:05,900 nothing yet. This has been another episode of 1792 01:23:05,900 --> 01:23:09,000 he cast the official podcast of he changed it. 1793 01:23:09,200 --> 01:23:11,900 My name is Mike Chism. Go change something.