1 00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:04,880 Welcome to hecast, the official podcast of he changed it. 2 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:08,000 As always, I am Mike Chisholm. As always, I am so excited to 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:10,600 have conversations with different people from around the 4 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:14,880 world around the topic of men's mental Wellness or mental 5 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:19,120 Wellness in general. And, and today is is no 6 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:21,160 different. I'm so beyond excited about it. 7 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:26,040 James E Bullard, okay, he's the host of the Radical Joy podcast. 8 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:28,240 And if you want to, if you want to find him on social media, 9 00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:30,160 James E Bullard is where you can. 10 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:35,120 He's got his website. He's a a world class coach and 11 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:38,040 and like I said, the the the host of on Instagram as well, 12 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:41,240 James E Bullard as well, but the host of Radical Joy. 13 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:44,920 And I mean, you got a guy here who is for anybody out there 14 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,200 who's wondered, OK, that guy from he cast, he's a really 15 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:48,600 positive guy. I wonder if there's anybody 16 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:49,920 who's as positive as him out there. 17 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:53,240 Yeah, no, no, no. James is that guy vibrates very 18 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:55,920 high and I appreciate that very, very much about him. 19 00:00:55,920 --> 00:01:00,800 He is a literally like, it's like the words the he's like a 20 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:03,480 sunbeam turned into a human. He really, really is. 21 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:05,400 And not to say that he's got a perfect life. 22 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:07,200 He's gone through stuff, he's learned a whole bunch of stuff 23 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:10,040 throughout his life. But through that, you've got 24 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:15,200 this guy here who literally he is a conduit to people being 25 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,760 able to turn on joy in their lives. 26 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,120 He really is. And if you don't, if you haven't 27 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:23,040 experienced joy for a while, and there's a lot of guys out there 28 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:25,960 who haven't experienced joy for a while, this might be, you 29 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:29,400 know, let this be the solar energy that just goes into your, 30 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:32,000 into your panels and, and, and charges you up a little bit. 31 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:34,640 It's one of the most encouraging conversations I've had in quite 32 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:36,440 some time. I listened to his podcast. 33 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,920 I appreciate it very, very much. It's one of those podcasts that 34 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:42,960 I listen to if I'm not in a good spot or it's a, oh, it's a full 35 00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:46,360 moon day or something like that. And, and I'm, I'm vibrating low 36 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:51,480 radical joy is, is, is, is one of my little secrets that I have 37 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:55,160 that I, that I listen to It is, it is a really powerful, 38 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:57,320 powerful message that he puts out there. 39 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:01,320 Really cool guy, has a lot of adventures, a lot of stuff under 40 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:03,800 his belt. His Ted talk is very good as 41 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:04,960 well. I highly recommend that. 42 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:07,600 And we barely even scratch the surface when it comes to the 43 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,160 life experience. Please, please enjoy my 44 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,840 conversation today with James Bullard. 45 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:25,840 James I am very, very excited about this conversation. 46 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:31,240 Every once in a while I run into somebody who I feel like just by 47 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:34,040 their disposition, I realize they are a brother from another 48 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,960 mother. That phrase gets used a lot. 49 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:42,200 But man, alive, when I started listening to Radical Joy, I 50 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:45,400 just, I felt like, oh, my goodness, here's a person that 51 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:48,800 gets me. It's taken me 50 years. 52 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:51,040 I turned 50 this year. I know you're you're around 53 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:51,880 that. I know, right? 54 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,680 We're already crushed it. Yeah, there you go. 55 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,960 And, and, and, and it's taken that long for me sometimes in 56 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:01,800 some of the ways that I've been built to really recognize who I 57 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:03,640 am. Radical Joy. 58 00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:06,480 There could not be a better name for a podcast. 59 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:09,560 I cannot wait to get into the way that you look at the world 60 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,440 because I really do feel commonality here. 61 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:15,320 James, welcome, welcome, Welcome to Heat Cast. 62 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,720 I can't wait to do this. Thank you, Mike. 63 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:21,160 It's so nice to be here. I love it whenever you came 64 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,200 across the desk because I can now see this sounds like the 65 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:24,560 kind of thing that I would love to do. 66 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,720 Listening to your intro on YouTube, checking out a lot of 67 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:30,760 your media as I Yeah, yeah. This is somebody that we can 68 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,800 absolutely drive with. I love it. 69 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,840 And the topics you cover, the way that you approach it, your 70 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:39,680 viewpoints, your perspectives. Yes, happy to be here. 71 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:42,320 Thank you for invitation. You know, and, and, and you 72 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,840 know, of course, of course, and I can't wait to do your show 73 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:46,200 too. Like I, I love, I love the 74 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:49,960 podcast Doci doe. I love when we go from, I love 75 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:51,280 doing that and, and making that happen. 76 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,960 But I got to tell you, I've got, I've got envy, like I've got 77 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,160 envy with you. And it's not, it's not bad envy. 78 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:57,840 It's the envy where iron sharpens iron. 79 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:00,000 And I just want to be better. But I'll tell you this. 80 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:05,280 It's the the vocabulary you have absolutely amazing vocabulary 81 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:08,960 able to articulate points and you do it in a way that makes 82 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,720 you stop and go, oh, that made sense. 83 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:13,560 And it was really clever at the same time. 84 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,040 And I appreciate that about you. And I know it's just you being 85 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:18,480 you. I know it's just the light, you 86 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:20,200 know, shining out of you that you are. 87 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:23,760 I can't wait to get into this. I gotta ask. 88 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:25,760 Let's go to the origins of radical joy. 89 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:29,280 And then people, our, our, our, our, our viewers and listeners 90 00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:32,440 can, can, can kind of feel that disposition that I was talking 91 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:33,800 about. And then I've got a whole bunch 92 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:35,000 of places I want to go with that. 93 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,600 But let's talk about Radical Joy. 94 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:41,640 What inspired you to to break out and to bring this podcast 95 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:44,040 that is a shining light in the world? 96 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:46,120 Again, it's not advice. It's the same thing as our show 97 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,360 here. It's not, it's not advice. 98 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:50,320 It's listening to other people's stories, perspectives, opinions 99 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:54,120 on things and how people can overlay those things into their 100 00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:55,640 lives. What was it? 101 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:58,520 What was the catalyst that that that created Radical Joy for 102 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,800 you? One of my favorite people in the 103 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:04,240 world was working with another set of podcasts. 104 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:08,360 It the parent company, the If you could see me project a while 105 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,720 back. Now it is since not it's no 106 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:13,400 longer in in service. They decided to go ahead and 107 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:16,440 shut the doors on that a while back, but they were looking for 108 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:22,560 voices that were very uniquely situated to shed more light. 109 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:26,320 Not necessarily fact because I'm that I try to do the best that I 110 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:28,920 can as far as homeworking and giving accurate information all 111 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:30,760 the time. But it's more about a mindset 112 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:35,920 and an attitude because so often we can get so bogged down. 113 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,560 People who want to, you know, they say misery loves company, 114 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:40,760 but sometimes joy is kind of left alone in the room. 115 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:44,560 Everybody loves to just pile on board whenever somebody's upset 116 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,600 and they commiserate. And I get that I do. 117 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:49,600 It makes you feel less alone. However, what I want to try to 118 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,840 do is make sure that we continue to leave the doors open whenever 119 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:54,680 someone enters with joy to share. 120 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:58,320 It's not a boast. It's not trying to say, look at 121 00:05:58,320 --> 00:05:59,880 me. What it is, is I have something 122 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:03,280 wonderful to share and the light and the warmth that I shine 123 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:06,640 because this has happened or I have caused this to happen is 124 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,080 something I want to make sure that I don't get to enjoy it by 125 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:11,040 myself. I want to give that to people in 126 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:13,200 my try, people in my immediate vicinity. 127 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,760 So maybe that'll sort of ripple out as well and keep all of us 128 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:19,240 on a better note. God knows we could use it. 129 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:22,320 It is difficult out there to keep your head held high today. 130 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:26,200 OK, so this is the exactly the disposition that I was talking 131 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:30,800 about. When did this version of you 132 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,520 show up? Have you been like this since 133 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,440 elementary school? Have you been like this and it's 134 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:38,200 just evolved since then and then you've discovered things? 135 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:41,720 Or have you always been that optimistic, that positive, 136 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:45,000 wanting to be a light in the world intrinsically, 137 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,720 instinctively, naturally, just from the inside out? 138 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:50,400 That's clearly who you are. When did that start? 139 00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:56,480 I have to say probably way back, my mom and dad, I had an 140 00:06:56,480 --> 00:07:00,600 incredible childhood. I, I lived out in rural Alabama 141 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:05,200 and honestly part of it was sort of a survival tactic because it 142 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,480 was very clear that I did not fit the mold. 143 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:11,720 I was loud, I was really gregarious. 144 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:15,880 I had a lot of questions. I was really enthusiastic about 145 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:19,120 a whole lot of things and not very enthusiastic at all about 146 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:22,080 things that men were supposed to be enthusiastic about, AKA 147 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:24,080 sports or hunting or any other kind of things. 148 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:27,800 So it was almost a survival tactic. 149 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:31,600 You've got to make sure that you find a way to shine no matter 150 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:35,360 what it is you love and don't love, because there are folks 151 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,400 out there that really try to make life difficult for you if 152 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,280 you don't. Not harshing them. 153 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,720 It's just understanding where you are and how you're going to 154 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:44,680 get through it. Shortly after I graduated from 155 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,400 high school, I went to university. 156 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,920 Graduated university, and shortly after that sort of work 157 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:51,320 with dad in the car business. Same thing there. 158 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:54,640 You want to talk about a place folks hate car salesman worse 159 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:58,080 than they hate lawyers. And so you just have to find a 160 00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:00,440 way to shine around it because people come in there with two 161 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:03,600 strikes against you and they're ready for their fastball too. 162 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:06,240 So you just have to find a way to make it work. 163 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:08,160 Made great money, had a good time. 164 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:12,240 It was just a really heavy job. Then I took the Greyhound from 165 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:17,240 Birmingham, AL to New York City and I did 4 days of auditions. 166 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:19,640 I think I went to three auditions and got callbacks for 167 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:21,600 one. I was like, well if I can do 168 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:24,520 that, it's time to go. So I did and I lived in New York 169 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:28,040 for like 17 years and it continued to be that same sort 170 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,680 of thing. You show up and somebody's ready 171 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:32,880 to just rain on your parade at every moment and you've either 172 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:36,960 got umbrella to keep yourself protected or you shine a little 173 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:39,880 sun and make sure folks around you can stay dry and warm as 174 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:42,400 well. And it just kept on because 175 00:08:43,039 --> 00:08:46,240 growing up in the South, you automatically inherit this sort 176 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:50,600 of like charm or or colloquialism that just clings 177 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,920 to you. Especially my family, we were 178 00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:57,200 always in sales or some sort of like social forward facing, 179 00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:59,720 whatever. So we've just always been 180 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:02,720 talkers always. And you can either talk to keep 181 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,280 people's attention, or you can talk to entertain them, which 182 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:09,240 will both make them enjoy your company and sort of keep them 183 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:13,680 around and engaged. And so the humor and, and the, 184 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:17,920 the light that I try to shine is usually the combo that I just 185 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,840 keep trying to cultivate. I keep trying to shine it around 186 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:25,840 because it's the older I get and the less stupid I become, the 187 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:29,320 more I realize it's like, you know, this is in short supply. 188 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,840 Again, not Tooting my horn. I'm just saying if you find 189 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:36,000 something that you know is rare, precious, valuable, however you 190 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:39,640 want to look at it, you just try to keep making more of the same 191 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:43,760 stuff because a it, it kind of keeps you a little bit ahead of 192 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:46,600 the game so you don't get lost in the shuffle. 193 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,360 And it helps a whole lot of people along the way, too. 194 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:52,960 It really does. And and, and my goodness, can I 195 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,120 ever relate to your story In so many ways. 196 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:59,000 I was the guy growing up, like when I got my first kind of 197 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,600 career job, I was a marketing guy for Costco. 198 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,800 And, and it was when Costco was coming up, like, like, like, 199 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,360 like my first job was to go into businesses. 200 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:11,000 And I'm like 2122 years old. My job is to go into businesses 201 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,920 and convince them why it's OK to shop, to pay, to shop at a 202 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:16,960 store, you know, and, and, and, and something similar to where 203 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,320 you're coming from, you know, people coming and they're like, 204 00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:22,480 people were really like people look at Costco now they're like, 205 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:23,960 Oh, it's a household name and it's all over the place. 206 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:26,440 Back then it was a disruption company that wasn't proven yet. 207 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,200 And, and so that was kind of my, my deal. 208 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:30,920 Walking in two strikes against you. 209 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:34,160 And you have to very quickly build rapport, build a 210 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:38,840 relationship and, and it, and the thing about it is I was 211 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:40,320 always to go back to elementary school. 212 00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:46,440 I was always the kid where 6 out of 10 would look at me and be 213 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:47,880 like, Oh, I want to be friends with this guy. 214 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,960 He's like a bright, he's bright light. 215 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:53,440 He was bubbly, he's enthusiastic. 2 of them are 216 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:56,320 like, all right, we're going to see, we're going to hold back 217 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:58,640 here to see is this person for real or not? 218 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:02,000 And then one or two would be like exact, you know, magnets 219 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,240 that, that, that, that push away from each other. 220 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:06,720 It's like they're the, it's kind of the opposite. 221 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:09,240 They're the ones that love being the pessimist and love being 222 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:12,360 the, the, the person that, and so those people obviously, you 223 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:16,560 know, push away right away. I was always that kid and, and 224 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:20,160 even at Costco, I would remember bosses would be saying to me, 225 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:22,440 OK, like, are you for real? Like, or, or they would tell me 226 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:24,600 years later, because I stayed there a long time. 227 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:28,320 I was always trying to figure you out, Mike, to see if you 228 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:31,800 were actually for real or not. I imagine you probably had a lot 229 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:34,960 of that as well. Oh gosh, so much. 230 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:37,800 And I wish that the people that were in the two out of the ten 231 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,640 were as kind as you have described them. 232 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:45,640 You, you were generous in that description, friend, because if 233 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:49,800 your two or anything like my 2, those guys were real, really 234 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:54,240 tailed tutors because it wasn't enough that I, they didn't like 235 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:55,640 me. They wanted to make sure they 236 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:59,160 were on a mission to do it. They wanted to make sure 237 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:02,160 everybody saw through whatever they thought was false. 238 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,680 And I was like, go for it. I, I don't, don't know what else 239 00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:05,440 to tell you. Pardon me. 240 00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:07,880 I never said that in school because I was nowhere near 241 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:09,600 confident enough to say those kinds of things. 242 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:12,280 I was just living my life, bebopping around, having a 243 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:16,120 really great time with it. I had a wonderful childhood. 244 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:19,480 You know, nothing's perfect, but I, I do look back on it very 245 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:22,600 fondly. And, you know, those people who 246 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:26,360 didn't really see me for what I thought I was or was trying to 247 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:32,040 be are still there and I am not. And that's not a, a diss on 248 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:34,280 where they are. I'm just saying like, I have 249 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:37,480 been around, I have seen places and I have moved and I've 250 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:40,160 learned more because I kept moving. 251 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,840 And I don't know that they've had the same experience or the 252 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:47,120 same privilege, if that's OK to say. 253 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:50,520 I, I think it's in, they're sitting in anybody's lap if they 254 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:53,880 want it. But if you push it off, that's 255 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:58,240 on you. They like to sit a lot of people 256 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:00,160 like that. I found love to sit misery. 257 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,040 You said earlier, like misery loves company, right? 258 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:04,840 A lot of people like to sit in that and they like to spread it 259 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:07,160 around, right. And, and when they see somebody 260 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:12,200 who is doing their, you know, their, their their best to live 261 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:13,920 their best life. You know, again, I don't want to 262 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:16,240 I don't want to steal phrases that that that that have been 263 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:18,120 kind of Co opted and all that sort of stuff, But there's no 264 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:19,960 real better. And for people who are, are, are 265 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:22,880 literally where they're optimistic, the process is the 266 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:26,480 outcome and they are shooting for the big hairy audacious 267 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:28,440 goals. There are people out there who 268 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:31,560 will just look at that right away and try and knock it down 269 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:34,200 and, and, and, and stop it. And really what it comes down 270 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:35,720 to. Like, I go back to Costco for a 271 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,960 second. I started, I realized, you know, 272 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:40,440 probably four or five years in that I was gonna hit a glass 273 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:43,120 ceiling with Costco and, and, and where I'm born and raised, 274 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:44,760 it's a beautiful city called Kelowna. 275 00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:47,720 And I know it. What you know what you know 276 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:49,080 about right? I'm born and raised here. 277 00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,120 I'm so lucky enough to say that I'm born and raised here and 278 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:52,120 I've travelled all over the world. 279 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:54,680 I've chased after a whole bunch of different goals and achieved, 280 00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:58,840 you know, my, my, my bucket list again at 50. 281 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:01,600 I'm, I, I'm writing, I'm working on writing a thing called house 282 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,120 money. Because the rest of my, the 1st 283 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:06,160 50 years of my life, I have enough memories in my memory 284 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:10,560 bank and in my heart that have given me the life of 100 year 285 00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:12,560 old. And I look at the next 50 and 286 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:16,400 I'm playing with house money because I'm so satisfied with, 287 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,160 with, with what's happened in my life. 288 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:21,840 So being born and raised here, I also realized I live in a 289 00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:24,680 paradise. And so I'm going to allow some 290 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:26,920 of these big hairy audacious goals to kind of come to me. 291 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:30,680 And and why can't I host a couple of shows from Kelowna? 292 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:33,960 Yeah, I can and, and travel to where I want to travel to, but 293 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,960 then be able to come back at home with the family and all of 294 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:39,480 that. When I started to go back to the 295 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:42,000 Costco thing, when I knew I hit the glass ceiling and I wanted 296 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:45,520 more income, I started building up my financial business, which 297 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:48,800 is still what pays me today. I started building it on the 298 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:54,080 side and I would remember talking to people at Costco and 299 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:55,680 I'd be saying, hey, you know what, I'm getting into the 300 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:58,000 financial service business. You know, maybe I could show you 301 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,320 what it is that I do. And I remember there was a 302 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:05,280 percentage of people who were literally offended by what I 303 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,440 not, not because of what I was doing wasn't good for people 304 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:08,520 because what I do is good for people. 305 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:12,000 I've been doing it for 21 years and I got a nice firm, but it 306 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,560 was the fact that when they realized that I was trying to do 307 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:19,360 something outside of the walls of that warehouse and trying to 308 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,440 build something bigger and better for me. 309 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:25,760 They then instinctively without even or subconsciously, I should 310 00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:30,360 even say without knowing it, applied that to their filter of 311 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:33,280 their viewpoint. And it became an I'm not enough 312 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,600 or I'm not good enough or I've settled or whatever. 313 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:39,080 I'm not chasing my stuff. And it, it caused friction. 314 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:41,680 It actually even lost a friendship or two over time. 315 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:44,800 And isn't it interesting when people go chasing things the way 316 00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:46,920 that other people will take that personally? 317 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,040 I'm certain, again, I'm preaching to the choir when it 318 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:51,600 comes to that. Yes, yeah, you are. 319 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,960 And and we see it all the time. And luckily, like I said, like 320 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:57,400 the older I get, the more I realize it's not them coming 321 00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,640 after me. That's them projecting 322 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:02,160 themselves coming after themselves. 323 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:08,040 And it's much easier to throw that spite at me than it is to 324 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:11,280 see that lack in yourself and try to do something differently. 325 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:13,720 Not even better, just differently. 326 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:16,720 We talk about this all the time on Radical Joy. 327 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:21,600 I pick what it is you want, find your passion, and then just go 328 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:24,440 after it like your ass is on fire. 329 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:29,160 Your one precious life. You have no idea when that last 330 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:31,560 day will come. None of us is guaranteed a 331 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:34,600 tomorrow. Knowing that and the richness 332 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:38,000 and the fullness of the life in front of you potential or 333 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:43,000 realized, why in the world are you not just going completely 334 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:46,320 for broke to make sure you can see just how far you can get 335 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:49,640 with what you've been given? You know, a couple of things you 336 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:51,520 just said, I think because, because we're a men's mental 337 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:55,800 Wellness, a platform and, and, and podcast and, and as you 338 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,760 know, Candace and the whole team and Joel and the whole team, 339 00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:00,920 we're, we're looking for the pain points of why he changed. 340 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,960 It is so important. And I mean, there's all sorts of 341 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:06,599 reasons for it, but looking for the pain points of, of, of where 342 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,560 many men, many middle-aged men are at these days. 343 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:12,119 And by the way, you know, number one in suicides, middle-aged 344 00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:14,440 men, number one in like when it comes to heart attacks and 345 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:16,599 cancers and things like that as to what's killing them, like, 346 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:21,640 like a big part of that is the pain point is purpose or lack 347 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:24,599 thereof. And we get into this society 348 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:29,720 where we are literally just told to plug and play, you know, 349 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:31,760 here's the rails. You know, you get a good job, 350 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,480 get married, you know, or get education, get married, get the 351 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:35,680 house, get all this sort of stuff. 352 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:37,640 And that's the purpose. And, and it's almost like a 353 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,600 promise, a hidden promise that once you get these things, 354 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:44,840 you're going to be fulfilled. And then you get there and 355 00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:48,280 you're not and you're in the grind and in the grind, you have 356 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:51,160 a hard time to pop your head up and even know what your passion 357 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:52,600 is, even know what your purpose is. 358 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,600 And, and, and there are so many guys that are even in my circle 359 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:58,000 and I'm the guy that tries to say, to nudge people and say, 360 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,120 hey, just go and start that thing. 361 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:02,720 You want to start the process is the outcome. 362 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:08,120 And with the process comes a metric ton of joy and, and, and, 363 00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:11,160 and but they don't even know what their purpose or their 364 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:15,160 passion is. And, and so again, I look to you 365 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:18,320 and it's like, OK, here's a guy who literally changed his 366 00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:23,120 surroundings to go from a, a reciprocal, A yin Yang Alabama 367 00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:24,920 to New York. I know a little bit about New 368 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:26,640 York because of my Letterman podcast stuff. 369 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:34,240 I mean, my gosh, what a change. But yet you just had that, that, 370 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,840 that knowledge, that instinctual knowledge to say, I'm going to 371 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,720 go for something that is a big hairy audacious goal. 372 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,480 You were born with it. How lucky that is. 373 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:45,600 What do you say to guys out there who are like, they don't 374 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,320 even know what their passion is because they're just stuck in 375 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:48,640 the grind and they need to pop their head up? 376 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:50,040 They don't even know they need to pop their head up. 377 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:51,880 First of all, I tell them they're not alone. 378 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:55,280 I tell them what they're doing is so unbelievably common. 379 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:59,920 Not common in the fact that it is mundane, but common in the 380 00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:04,160 fact that so many men, especially in our age group, 381 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:08,960 feel so similarly because they have done everything according 382 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:12,880 to the book, to the letter. They got their education, they 383 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:16,360 found the right partner, they had a family, they've got the 384 00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:18,320 house, they provided the grandchildren. 385 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:21,520 They did literally everything right. 386 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:26,520 And they're still wondering why they are empty and hollow and 387 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:30,800 searching for something to give them purpose, for something to 388 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,520 light up their souls with passion. 389 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:37,040 And it's because they never asked it of themselves. 390 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,960 They only listen to those around them, those who are supposed to 391 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:44,960 be older and wiser, who had travelled these paths before. 392 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:48,560 What they didn't realize, maybe, was that these men felt exactly 393 00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:51,360 the same way. But because we are ever so 394 00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:55,800 slightly more in touch with our emotions that we could say this 395 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:59,120 out loud, I think that previous generations were terrified to 396 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:01,760 even mention it. The fact that I even said that 397 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:06,240 they experienced terror in relation to this idea would 398 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:10,800 probably be wildly offensive to older generations of men. 399 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,080 My heart goes out to them. It's not pity. 400 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:16,680 It breaks my heart that they were not given permission to be 401 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:20,000 fully functioning emotional adults. 402 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:25,160 In a community of people that require emotion to succeed, 403 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:28,280 yeah. You put that so well, I one of 404 00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:31,000 the, one of the things I wanted to pick your brain about is when 405 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:35,320 you do radical joy, like I can tell you're not scripted because 406 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:37,320 you're moving so fast that there's no way you'd be able to 407 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,760 read. There's no, there's no way. 408 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:43,240 It's, it's, is it when you do it, is it like, OK, two or three 409 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:44,720 points I want to talk about today. 410 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:48,960 And, and you just, you just go from there like, like you're, 411 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,040 oh, you're very talented at it. You're very, very, very good at 412 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:53,440 it. And I know you're in the 413 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,720 Netherlands, so I'm not going to compliment you too hard because, 414 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,680 I mean, that's something you've been learning. 415 00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:59,920 I want to talk about that. Oh, you got to be careful. 416 00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:01,200 Yeah. Edification's always been 417 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:02,920 something that I enjoy. Like when I was listening to 418 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:07,320 that episode, I, I, I, I I I chuckled to myself because 419 00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:09,080 that's part of the way that people have said to me. 420 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:11,480 OK, are you really for real? Because when I see something 421 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:17,160 that I love, I can't help but gush about it and I edify people 422 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:20,160 like crazy. And yet that's people have 423 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:21,720 always gone OK. Is this guy for real? 424 00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:23,840 No, it really is. It's passion coming from the 425 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:27,080 heart and doing that. And that's you doing the show 426 00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:28,640 you. Is that what you do? 427 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:30,680 Just put two or three points down and you just go for it. 428 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,000 That's it. That's literally all there is to 429 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,440 it. I have a note in my phone that 430 00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:37,680 keeps a little asterisk for each episode of what I'm thinking 431 00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:39,960 like, but one of my most recent episodes that just came out is 432 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:43,160 called RIP What you sow, not reap what you Sow. 433 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:49,160 And I thought I was so clever with that as I well done, Well 434 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:55,960 done you, you word smithery. You Sir, you know, pardon me for 435 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:59,120 breaking my own arm to pat my own back, but this usually comes 436 00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:04,920 from a really harsh lesson or a stinking nasty workout or 437 00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:08,400 something that literally shakes everything on the outside that 438 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:13,960 is artifice or that is put on, or that is some sort of disguise 439 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:18,240 or mask. So that what is real is the only 440 00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:22,040 thing that is left. And so whenever we get to that 441 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:25,240 point of it, we can really start to look at things the way that 442 00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:30,440 we need to as people. Not just men, not just masculine 443 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,800 feature presenting, yadda yadda, yadda. 444 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:38,560 As people connected to other people who have a job, who have 445 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:44,160 a responsibility to other people to be just as real and sincere 446 00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:47,400 and authentic as they possibly can. 447 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:50,040 Because when we do that, it gives permission to everyone 448 00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:54,280 around us that perhaps isn't there yet on their way, but 449 00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:59,280 maybe not quite there yet, to let them know I see you, you are 450 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:02,720 valuable. The thing you're doing is making 451 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:07,000 waves and it is covering ground. And that's so important. 452 00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:10,520 Men need purpose. People need purpose. 453 00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:15,040 But more importantly, men do. Women have this wonderful thing 454 00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:17,200 where they build these incredible bonds with each 455 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:21,960 other, where they are loving and tactile and open and they can 456 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:27,320 discuss and uncover, discover so many things about each other. 457 00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:32,320 And men sit together on a sofa, silent, scratching balls and 458 00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:35,600 doing nothing to connect any more deeply than that. 459 00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:39,120 It hurts me. Ain't nothing wrong with a 460 00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:42,040 little quiet time on the sofa with your brother, man, because 461 00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:44,680 you don't always have to be running your face 24/7. 462 00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:49,560 And there are things we need to cover as men going through a 463 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:53,000 similar experience to know that we are not alone. 464 00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:55,600 Well, and that I was just you took the words out of my mouth. 465 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:57,200 That brings it back to the the original point. 466 00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:02,000 You were not alone. And how simple yet powerful a 467 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,840 concept that is. It's, it's and I found that the 468 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:07,760 the biggest truths in life seem to be that way. 469 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,120 Where where where it's a really simple concept. 470 00:24:10,120 --> 00:24:11,720 Gratefulness is a really simple concept. 471 00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:15,440 If you practice gratefulness intentionally, a whole bunch of 472 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:17,760 doors open up and a whole bunch of things change with your 473 00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:20,360 insight, right. You are not alone is probably 474 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:24,040 again, a very simple concept like, you know, somebody going 475 00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:26,760 through marriage problems, right, Relationship problems, 476 00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:30,120 OK, the the moment that that person knows that they're not 477 00:24:30,120 --> 00:24:33,560 alone, the moment that they realize that this is not a 478 00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,080 pathway that that they are having to carve through the 479 00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:39,320 jungle with a machete. But there is a a wide open 480 00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:42,880 highway that they could walk down and and, and, and other 481 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:46,240 people are walking down it at the exact same time. 482 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,560 And and there are people who will come to you that have been 483 00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:52,160 to the end of the road and can come circle back and they can 484 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:54,080 show you. And again, this is exactly why, 485 00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:55,480 like radical joy is so important. 486 00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:58,640 It's what we're trying to do it. He cast to the whole the 487 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,280 emphasis with he changed it. It's an app that's being 488 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:05,000 developed where men can go to a place where they can leave 489 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,960 something that they know, which by the way is vulnerability. 490 00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:09,920 Guys say, people say men can't be vulnerable. 491 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:12,720 Oh my gosh, how many guys we've actually Co opted the phrase 492 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:17,720 mansplaining to, to, to, to, to, to, to mock the idea that men 493 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:20,960 many times just want to help. I'm not saying they do it with 494 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:22,200 tact. I'm not saying that they're 495 00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:24,000 practiced at it and the best way to deliver. 496 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,680 But like mansplaining really comes down to the place where 497 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:32,640 men intrinsically are vulnerable when they want to share 498 00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,760 something that they know. But the more important thing 499 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,080 with he changed it is yes, it's a place where they can share 500 00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:38,640 something they know, but they can take something that they 501 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:40,960 need. And that's the part that many 502 00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:44,640 time men just, you know, they don't take something that they 503 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:46,240 need. And a big root of that is 504 00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:50,120 because of the you are not alone and guys don't realize it. 505 00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:51,960 I think that is a very, very, very important point. 506 00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:53,920 And I'm glad that you you mentioned it. 507 00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:57,000 One of the things that you also have busted through is something 508 00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:00,720 that I am working on and and and and part of the things that the 509 00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:03,400 reason that I've had so many dream come true type moments and 510 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,640 things like that. And I'll probably talk about 511 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:09,240 this when I come on your show is, is, is, is battling imposter 512 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:11,760 syndrome. Because many times when you do 513 00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:14,680 get that authenticity that you're talking about, we 514 00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:17,320 actually have that quiet time where we can do some work into 515 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:19,680 ourselves and say, OK, what the heck is a passion for me? 516 00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,760 What is something that makes my, you know, that that makes my 517 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:25,640 heart tick a little bit faster? And, and, and, and we learned 518 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:26,880 that. But then, OK, it might be 519 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:28,760 playing music. Well, I don't know Jack shit 520 00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:29,800 about playing music. I don't know. 521 00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:32,520 I, I can't, I can't play music. So it doesn't matter. 522 00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,800 Get the guitar, learn 5 chords. You don't have to play in front 523 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:38,720 of Madison Square Garden. You can you can just the 524 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,040 fulfillment of the process will get you there. 525 00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:45,120 But many times that imposter syndrome that oh, I can't do 526 00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:47,240 that. That shows up the comparison. 527 00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:49,320 And as we know, comparison is the thief of joy. 528 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,960 And, and so you know, that's something again, when people 529 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,520 like you and I sometimes talk, it's been a journey. 530 00:26:57,120 --> 00:26:59,600 And you haven't always had this confidence. 531 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,520 It's and, and by the way, you don't always have it either. 532 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:05,000 You know, you find you vibrate higher when you do stuff like 533 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:06,960 this. You and I clearly are very 534 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,960 passionate about podcasting. I'm in my flow state right now. 535 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:11,640 I don't care how many times my phone goes off. 536 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:13,640 I don't care. Like I said earlier, time gets 537 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:16,920 slippery. But the idea of finding that 538 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:20,800 passion, but then giving yourself the permission to go 539 00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:24,240 down that path and start exploring it, that can be 540 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:26,560 because of that imposter thing, a, a difficult thing. 541 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:28,800 You've gone through that. And I want you to talk about it 542 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:31,080 because I think the there are guys who have listened to this 543 00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:34,520 conversation thus far who would be very surprised to know that. 544 00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:36,720 Oh gosh, yeah. Well, here's the thing too. 545 00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:38,280 Learning the new thing. Like you're talking about 546 00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:39,480 following your passion for music. 547 00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:41,360 I love music. I want to be a part of that. 548 00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:46,720 Everyone sucks when they start. Everyone sucks. 549 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:53,080 I mean, capital SUCKS. Bold, underline, italics. 550 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:58,480 Everyone learning something that cool is gonna hurt. 551 00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:02,160 You are going to fail, and I mean miserably. 552 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:07,160 Spectacularly so you might as well hear it from me and know 553 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:10,360 whenever you're feeling that awful, that embarrassment, 554 00:28:10,360 --> 00:28:14,240 because you're not some virtuoso the moment your finger touches a 555 00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:17,640 string. That is how that works. 556 00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:23,360 You have to suck before you can get better because that's part 557 00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:27,600 of it and I wish it wasn't. God knows I flipping hate it. 558 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:29,760 I'm here in the Netherlands learning Dutch. 559 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:33,200 All of my friends are either Dutch born or have been here for 560 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:38,200 a decade so they're all. And also Dutch is not a sexy 561 00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:40,720 language. It is harsh, it is guttural, 562 00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:44,240 it's got this thing in it that is just a nightmare. 563 00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:47,000 Yep. Learning a sexy language is a 564 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,640 second language is very different thing than learning 565 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,880 sort of a wonky language. I love it. 566 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:56,000 It is the new home language of my people and I'm working on it. 567 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,240 But you want to talk about Ready to fight? 568 00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:04,240 I'm so mad because I suck at it so hard it hurts me to my guts. 569 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:11,720 I hate hate being anything other than awesome at anything, and I 570 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:16,600 got a big gamut of things that I do really well. 571 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:19,040 It ain't bragging if you can back it up. 572 00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:23,240 What I'm saying is because we are already set for excellence 573 00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:26,680 in certain areas of our lives, going after something that is 574 00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:32,080 new and unfamiliar, what we're going to suck at for any amount 575 00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,520 of time is not a place we love to live. 576 00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:38,920 It is uncomfortable, it is awkward, it is embarrassing. 577 00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:43,320 And men that the bigger and tougher the man, the less he 578 00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:47,360 enjoys being embarrassed. He's not used to that emotion 579 00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:51,120 and in order to grow, you have to expose yourself to that 580 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:55,880 emotion and live in it. And that sucks. 581 00:29:56,440 --> 00:30:00,240 Just in case you missed that the first seven times I said it, I 582 00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,320 cannot. I got to emphasize it. 583 00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:04,680 It's just so important that people really, really, really 584 00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,400 understand that That's exactly where my mind goes first. 585 00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:10,080 Nobody likes that. Nobody enjoys it. 586 00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:14,280 Especially these big guys. They've lived a certain life and 587 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:16,760 they've done everything exactly as they were prescribed, and it 588 00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:19,960 didn't make them happy, but it came relatively easily because 589 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:21,880 they knew they were going to do it and they prepared their whole 590 00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:25,480 lives to do it. When you finally figure out what 591 00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:29,240 your passion is, hats off. That's not an easy task either. 592 00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:32,960 To admit to yourself what it is that really sets your soul on 593 00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:35,840 fire is not something most men can do very easily. 594 00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:38,120 It's not something a lot of people can do very easily. 595 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:41,280 Once you figure that out and you start going after it with Wild 596 00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:45,600 Abandoned and it doesn't feel as easy or as prepared as 597 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:49,240 everything else you've done in your life, it stinks. 598 00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:52,480 And the fact that you have to stick with it to get proficient 599 00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:56,440 and be really good at it means you're going to have to wallow 600 00:30:56,440 --> 00:31:01,240 in that stink for a while. Yep, nobody loves that. 601 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:07,120 That's how it happens, because one day it just clicks and one 602 00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:10,480 day it just comes together. It doesn't really get much 603 00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:13,920 easier, you just get better at it. 604 00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:18,400 Yep, and it feels amazing. Amazing. 605 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:22,120 You talk about the comfort zone and getting uncomfortable and, 606 00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:26,440 and really, that's where, that's where advancement and greatness 607 00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:28,120 is out there too. Like, like, you know, but it 608 00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:30,160 doesn't. Again, greatness is in the eye 609 00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:32,960 of the beholder, right? If you're feeling, if you play, 610 00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,440 you know, you learn the five chords necessary to play 611 00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:38,280 Wonderwall and you play Wonderwall and you sing it for 612 00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:41,760 the first time that there's a part of you inside that is 613 00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:43,440 greatness. And it lights up like a 614 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:45,720 Christmas tree. It comes right up and it goes 615 00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:47,560 for it. And, and, and you're exactly 616 00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:48,880 right. Like that's the thing that I 617 00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:50,960 love is the process is the outcome. 618 00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:52,480 Like right now, one of the things I'm stretching myself, 619 00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:53,720 You're stretching yourself in the Netherlands. 620 00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:56,000 I want to, I want to ask you why you picked there in a second. 621 00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,480 But, but one of the ways I'm stretching myself is I'm doing 622 00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:01,280 stand up, not because I think I'm a, I'm a particularly funny 623 00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:03,720 guy, but I want to get the discipline under my belt. 624 00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:06,200 I want to have, you know, easily, like I've always been 625 00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:09,000 the guy that, you know, has embassied weddings and, and, 626 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:11,000 and, and, and, and things in my family and all that. 627 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:15,080 But I want to get actual stand up under my belt because in one 628 00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:17,680 of my other, you know, adventures, I hang out with a 629 00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:20,880 lot of stand ups. And if I'm in New York or in LA 630 00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:23,400 or whatever and I'm hanging out with them and there's 5 minutes 631 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,760 or whatever, I want to be able to go up and and and be 632 00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:26,960 respectable. If not crush. 633 00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:30,120 Absolutely it is. Why just stop crazy process? 634 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:31,760 Why just stop it? Respectable. 635 00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:34,320 You've already sold yourself a little short, Mike. 636 00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:36,000 I'm not having. I'm calling you out right now. 637 00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:37,400 Right on. I want to crush it. 638 00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:42,800 I want to crush it and I want to so, so, so like you're doing 639 00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:45,440 that in another way. You have gone to another part of 640 00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:48,720 the world that you like you say, speaks a very different 641 00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:52,120 language. I'm so curious the what led you 642 00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:55,080 to picking the Netherlands and, and, and heading there And what 643 00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:58,640 are some of the things you must be considered very exotic over 644 00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:00,480 there? I can only imagine that the 645 00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:04,240 people there, what they think of you and, and what that process 646 00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:05,560 has been like. So, So what did that? 647 00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:08,280 How did that happen? Exotic is a very kind word. 648 00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:10,840 I think what they think is weird, but what you mentioned 649 00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:13,400 earlier plays right in into it because you're like, is this guy 650 00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:15,160 for real? And then they realize that no, 651 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:17,920 really, this is just who I am. Look at the shirt, dude. 652 00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:21,840 This is not an act like this is really took from the bones out. 653 00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:25,200 This is who I am. Whenever Donald Trump became 654 00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:27,520 president again, I knew that I was not going to stay in the 655 00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:29,280 United States. I am not going to wake every 656 00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:34,600 morning to another crazy making Newsday every day for the rest 657 00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:37,200 of what is some of the best years of my life. 658 00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:40,320 I'm just not going to do it. A very good friend of mine that 659 00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:42,680 lives here in the Netherlands. I met him on a cruise ship. 660 00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:47,040 I was singing with my band and he was on there on his honeymoon 661 00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:52,040 with his first wife. We got to be very good friends. 662 00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:54,600 He's this enormous dude, giant beard. 663 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:57,440 He looks very stoic, but he is such a hoot. 664 00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:00,680 And I was like, that shirt is glorious. 665 00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:06,480 It was a wild bubble gum pink Hawaiian shirt with like fronds 666 00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:08,480 and and tropical flowers all over it. 667 00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:12,560 Our gig was relatively short. Whenever I got back to the house 668 00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:15,320 back to the apartment in New York after this gig, there was a 669 00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:19,400 parcel waiting from the Netherlands with 2A bubble gum 670 00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:23,400 pink and a mint green. Identical shirts in like normal 671 00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:26,199 people sizes. Oh good, I I love the balloons. 672 00:34:27,199 --> 00:34:28,400 And I know what those are for. I don't know. 673 00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:29,880 That's the first time I've ever seen that happened. 674 00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:31,840 It's this guy right here. Whenever I give you a peace 675 00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:34,480 sign, you'll get some balloons. It happens on our software as 676 00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:36,560 well, and I dig it. I do. 677 00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:39,360 And if you give it a thumbs up, you'll also get a little balloon 678 00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:42,000 for thumbs up, I think. Oh, maybe not. 679 00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:44,880 OK, well I like the piece. Anyway, it's on your end anyway. 680 00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:47,120 That's super cool. OK, right on, I did. 681 00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:50,639 Yeah, Whenever I left, I I was thinking maybe Italy or Spain 682 00:34:50,639 --> 00:34:52,719 because I speak Italian, I speak Spanish as well. 683 00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:56,159 And my friend reached out to me because I was the best man at 684 00:34:56,159 --> 00:34:58,920 his second wedding here in Nymecha in the Netherlands. 685 00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:01,880 And he says, well, have you thought about the Netherlands? 686 00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:04,560 I said, no, I have not thought about the Netherlands. 687 00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:07,960 I don't speak any Dutch. He's like everybody here speaks 688 00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:10,320 English. I said, yeah, but it's not the 689 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:11,360 same. You know, if you're going to 690 00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:13,360 live in a country, you need to be part of the culture, you need 691 00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:17,280 to be part of the community. And he says, well, the visa here 692 00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:20,520 is very straightforward, and as long as you have this much money 693 00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:23,360 to put in a Dutch bank, it's pretty much a guaranteed done 694 00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:26,080 deal. So here I come, and the next 695 00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:27,880 thing I know, I'm starting a life here. 696 00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:30,480 And it's wonderful. The people at my gym are 697 00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:33,400 incredible. They know I'm absolutely insane, 698 00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:37,000 especially by Dutch standards. On the 11th of this month, I'm 699 00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,000 help. I'm helping host a party called 700 00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:42,560 Disco Flex. And the owner just walks up and 701 00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:44,640 he's like, I want to do a disco party and I want to do it with 702 00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:45,520 you. And I think it's going to be 703 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:46,280 awesome. Let's do it. 704 00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,760 Yeah. Because I have been. 705 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,840 I've been seen for who I am. And for some people that's going 706 00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:54,320 to be so their flavor and their vibe. 707 00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:57,760 And for others be like, absolutely not, which is great. 708 00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:02,840 I want to burn at a temperature so that either people run up to 709 00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:05,840 embrace it or they shun me entirely. 710 00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:09,200 This whole middle of the road thing is for a younger, stupider 711 00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:12,880 man, I got too much going on to worry about somebody who doesn't 712 00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:14,480 know whether or not they want to spend time with me. 713 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:17,920 And so I came to the Netherlands and it has been a joy. 714 00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:21,320 It's been a challenge, but the most rewarding things in life 715 00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:25,760 are a mix of both. It can't all be just one. 716 00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:28,480 You got to have a spectrum. You've got to have a point of 717 00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:31,080 comparison. Comparison is the thief of joy. 718 00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:34,040 It is also a point of recognition of how to know when 719 00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:36,920 you're doing it right, and how to know whatever you probably 720 00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:39,440 need to improve. Yeah. 721 00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:42,640 And, and, and, and I think that, you know, comparison can be one 722 00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:44,720 of those words that's, that's Co opted as well. 723 00:36:44,720 --> 00:36:48,000 In the sense that when you are, when you are looking to see 724 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:52,480 where you're at and you're doing an actual, you know, authentic 725 00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:56,680 measuring of where you are in life and where you would like to 726 00:36:56,680 --> 00:37:00,320 be in life, that's a different measure than looking at whatever 727 00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:04,080 somebody else is doing and, and, and feeling bad and, and, and 728 00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:05,920 whatnot. No, if you're actually going, 729 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:09,680 OK, well, look like, because comparison in that sense can be, 730 00:37:09,720 --> 00:37:12,400 oh, wait, what's possible? What's possible? 731 00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:14,200 There are guys out there right now. 732 00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:17,320 Hey, if you have a broadcaster in you and you don't even know, 733 00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:20,080 you know what even it looks like or whatever, start a podcast if 734 00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:21,560 you want, if you feel the need to do that. 735 00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:24,720 You and I both did that. And both of us can say, Oh my 736 00:37:24,720 --> 00:37:26,920 gosh, it's changed our lives. It's made us feel better because 737 00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:29,920 we're doing something that has been inside of us for a long 738 00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:32,400 time. And it was almost like for me, 739 00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:35,720 like, because I, I, I wouldn't, I wasn't the guy who was going 740 00:37:35,720 --> 00:37:37,840 to go and get a broadcasting degree and things like that. 741 00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:40,360 That seems so foreign to me where I, where I grew up. 742 00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:43,880 It was almost like the, the medium suddenly showed up and 743 00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,120 now the medium is there. Oh, my goodness. 744 00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:48,400 And all the doors just flew wide open. 745 00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:51,600 There are guys right now who are listening to this, trying to 746 00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:54,000 figure out what their medium is, whatever it might be. 747 00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:57,840 And we live in a world now where the sky has never been higher. 748 00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:00,520 There is no limit. There's never been a, the Sky's 749 00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:03,160 the limit, but the Sky's never been higher because of 750 00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:05,880 technology, because of some of the good things that are out 751 00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:07,560 there. And that brings me to something 752 00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:10,400 else I want you to talk about. Because in your Ted Talk, the 753 00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:13,800 very, one of the very last lines of your Ted Talk, I actually 754 00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:15,440 wrote it down on my phone. My phone's across the room right 755 00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:17,040 now. But one of the very last lines 756 00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:21,280 in the Ted Talk, I love your take on AI because so many 757 00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:26,800 people have these these, these these fearful takes on AI and 758 00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:29,640 listening to you talk about creativity and the creativity 759 00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:33,280 that only a human, specifically people who are listening to 760 00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:35,480 this, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. 761 00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:37,680 You are the only one who is like you ever. 762 00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:41,800 And if you've gone to try and make yourself like other people, 763 00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:45,920 it kind of takes away the fact that you are as individual as 764 00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:48,520 you are. And because each human is so 765 00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:52,040 individual, that creativity is going to be what feeds the 766 00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:54,320 machine and the machine is always going to want to be fed. 767 00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:57,720 Like does that does did I just sum up what you, what, what your 768 00:38:57,720 --> 00:38:59,240 point of view is? And I would love you to talk 769 00:38:59,240 --> 00:39:02,000 about that because your take on creativity, like James, 770 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:03,800 seriously, I, I, I just adore it. 771 00:39:04,720 --> 00:39:07,760 Thank you, you're really close. I don't love to think about it 772 00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:10,240 as feeding the machine because that makes me feel more like 773 00:39:10,240 --> 00:39:12,560 fodder than it does about the source code. 774 00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:17,080 We are the original. OK, Make no mistake, AI is 775 00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:19,280 glorious. It is here, it is not going 776 00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:21,040 anywhere. For someone to think that it's 777 00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:24,760 going to just evaporate is the same thing people thought 20 778 00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:26,400 years ago without the Internet was a fad. 779 00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:30,240 Please understand this is not something that is going away. 780 00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:35,080 Knowing that, severely confident in that fact, why in the world 781 00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:37,800 would I not educate myself on how to use that ethically, 782 00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:41,960 responsibly, and understand that I am the original. 783 00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:46,040 I use it to improve something that I have already created and 784 00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:49,880 I'm wildly proud of, and whatever the machine cranks out 785 00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:52,800 may be something I will never use. 786 00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:57,320 Knowing that, why would I not at least utilize this? 787 00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:02,760 To see what it sees of my work, how it would change it, augment 788 00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:06,760 it, refine it, sharpen it, brighten it and make the call. 789 00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:10,200 Then to know if it's an improvement or if it's just now 790 00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:13,560 it's lost the voice that is very so specifically me. 791 00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:18,680 We're given an opportunity, we're given world changing 792 00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:22,720 technology. To shun it, to ignore it is not 793 00:40:22,720 --> 00:40:25,040 the way to approach that in my opinion. 794 00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:29,560 It's learn what you can from it, help it enrich whatever it is 795 00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:30,880 that you're putting into the world. 796 00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:34,920 Make sure it says your message as clearly as possible and then 797 00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:38,520 keep going with your source code. 798 00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:41,680 It's a tool. Period. 799 00:40:41,720 --> 00:40:43,200 And we're doing it. We're doing it right now. 800 00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:45,960 I'm having this conversation right now that's going into the 801 00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:51,000 digital realm is going to affect the AI and how it works. 802 00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:52,720 And guess what? Every single other person out 803 00:40:52,720 --> 00:40:55,880 there is doing the same thing. And, and I think I would, I, I'm 804 00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:58,680 an optimist. I, I like to think that most 805 00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:02,240 people at the end of the day want what's good for them, for 806 00:41:02,240 --> 00:41:03,880 their family, for the people around them, for their 807 00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:05,360 community, for what's in the world. 808 00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:07,680 Are there outliers to that? Of course there are. 809 00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:10,040 Of course there's darkness. Of course there's those one or 810 00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:11,560 two out of 10, whatever it is, right? 811 00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:15,400 But at the end of the day, if there's more of us, if there's 812 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:17,280 more people who are trying to shine that light out there, and 813 00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:20,600 we're doing that in the things that we create, we're using our 814 00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:25,840 creativity to make that the AI is it's, it's, it's, it's taking 815 00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:28,160 from us and continue. That's why we got to make new 816 00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:30,680 stuff. I love some of the music that's 817 00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:33,080 out there for AI. OK, Like, like there's a there's 818 00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:36,000 a there's AI don't even know the channel. 819 00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:38,000 And I, and I, and I feel bad because the person who came up 820 00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:43,400 with it is absolutely so clever that that has taken, you know, 821 00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:46,680 I, I'm a big hip hop fan. I love all music, but hip hop is 822 00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:49,360 one of the genres I love. And, and they've taken like 823 00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:54,320 $0.50 songs and they've put it and made them into like these 824 00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:59,440 old school bluesy jazz versions of these, of these songs, you 825 00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:02,520 know, using the same lyrics. And then it's, it's so clever. 826 00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:05,240 It's so clever and it's great. And I can spend two or three 827 00:42:05,240 --> 00:42:07,520 hours listening to it while I'm writing or doing something. 828 00:42:07,720 --> 00:42:09,280 It's awesome. But. 829 00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:10,920 Well. It has a limit to it. 830 00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:14,920 Sure, exactly. These kind of things are around 831 00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:18,360 and it's not that we don't think that people aren't capable. 832 00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:22,160 I have full faith in so many of our people to come up with the 833 00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:26,120 most glorious creations and discoveries and all these other 834 00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:28,200 kind of things. It's just the AI will make it 835 00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:32,160 happen faster, let's be honest. And two, if you can feed it to 836 00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:34,720 that and it'll come out, you know, it took years and tons of 837 00:42:34,720 --> 00:42:36,600 money and production value and all those other companies to 838 00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:38,320 make Lounge of the Machine a thing. 839 00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:41,840 And even now it's like, you know, we know it because we dig 840 00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:43,120 it. We love what they're trying to 841 00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:44,920 do. We see it, you know, I see the 842 00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:48,920 awesome, I got you. That's not, that's not the world 843 00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:51,200 at large. I, I feel kind of proud of us 844 00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:53,320 for being able to see those kind of things for the value that 845 00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:56,880 they are. And this other thing it, it, it 846 00:42:56,880 --> 00:43:02,480 gets more of this out like it creates it, it, it puts it out 847 00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:04,560 there so people can see it, they can get exposed to it. 848 00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:06,240 They know what they like. And then they can look for more 849 00:43:06,240 --> 00:43:09,520 things that were probably, you know, human created instead of 850 00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:11,960 machine created. Yes, the human influences there 851 00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:14,320 wouldn't be nice to find something that was original from 852 00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:16,240 start to finish, all human creation. 853 00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:18,360 Sweet. It's, it's just like going to 854 00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:20,840 Google, you know, I can go to Google and I can get all the 855 00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:23,080 headlines or I can go to Google, get the headlines and continue 856 00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:25,720 to do my homework and be more fully informed. 857 00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:30,200 Very similar situation. I know where I want to start by 858 00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:32,840 asking AI the questions by giving it the prompts. 859 00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:36,080 And then I also understand that whenever I do that, it's almost 860 00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:41,240 like a Wikipedia page on steroids, and I need to look for 861 00:43:41,240 --> 00:43:44,000 individual sources instead of something that was just sort of 862 00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:47,960 mashed together by basically the entire wealth of human knowledge 863 00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:50,560 as we know it. Yeah, that's exactly right. 864 00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:54,200 Like to go back to that music for a second, The Black Album by 865 00:43:54,200 --> 00:43:56,960 Metallica is one of my greatest. Like as far as I'm concerned, 866 00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:59,920 that's one of the greatest pieces of art ever, ever 867 00:43:59,920 --> 00:44:01,960 created. You can go online and you can 868 00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:05,000 find an AI created funk version of that album. 869 00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:07,920 The entire album done in funk. It sounds like Sly and the 870 00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:11,680 Family Stone doing it. Here's the thing, we still need 871 00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:15,120 Metallica to make the cool things so that we can play with 872 00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:17,160 the cool things. And we need to figure that out. 873 00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:20,840 And that's where the, the, the human part of the equation will 874 00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:26,160 never die because as we continue to, to, to, to, to, to grow as a 875 00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:30,400 species, the creativity is the driving force that separates us 876 00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:32,400 from out of these things. And these are just tools. 877 00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:35,240 I just love that so much and, and creating things. 878 00:44:35,240 --> 00:44:38,160 And that's what I want to help inspire people to do whatever it 879 00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:40,840 is, whatever creativity means for, for, for the people that 880 00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:43,200 are listening to this or watching this, What does that 881 00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:45,600 mean for you? And, and again, there are 882 00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:48,000 challenges. We've got these devices that 883 00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:51,760 their goal is to get us spending more time on the devices. 884 00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:55,200 That's the goal, right? But sometimes it's just really 885 00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:59,320 cool to kind of sit back and be bored, to be in a place where 886 00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:02,520 you let the mind start doing its thing, because it does. 887 00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:05,640 Even if you're, if you feel like you're bored, you're not really 888 00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:07,720 bored. There are parts of the brain 889 00:45:07,720 --> 00:45:11,280 that are working right now and you don't have them occupied by 890 00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:13,160 devices. And I think that that's a huge 891 00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:14,960 part of it as well. I agree. 892 00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:17,800 I do. And and something that just 893 00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:19,960 sparked in my mind while we were talking about these kinds of 894 00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:21,920 things, humanity is the source code. 895 00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:26,040 And as we were talking earlier, there is a very large portion of 896 00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:32,120 manhood that is sort of locked away in our humanity because the 897 00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:36,600 emotions that we are supposed to feel, just being human animals, 898 00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:39,600 is often denied us because it is seen as weak. 899 00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:42,080 It is seen as something other than masculine. 900 00:45:42,680 --> 00:45:46,840 And the technology that comes to play whenever what we're talking 901 00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:53,160 about in unofficial intelligence does give a bit of a pass if we 902 00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:55,880 just throw ourselves at it and let the machine do all the work. 903 00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:59,600 Because that means we don't need all of our humanity to still 904 00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:03,520 create these kinds of things that are so very human centered. 905 00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:08,040 Meaning there are people out there who were not allowed to 906 00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:10,800 feel the full spectrum of human emotion, and they are finding 907 00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:14,960 this to be a wild relief, perhaps because they don't have 908 00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:18,320 to face those things. They can be creative, they can 909 00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:22,160 be artistic, they can make something new out of something 910 00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:26,720 that existed before without having to face the the reality 911 00:46:26,720 --> 00:46:28,920 of the wholeness of their humanity. 912 00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:36,720 And that's scares me because men don't realize how badly they 913 00:46:36,720 --> 00:46:40,600 need it. They just don't know because 914 00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:44,560 everything is working against them in the whole process. 915 00:46:45,240 --> 00:46:47,520 Something you mentioned earlier about chasing greatness. 916 00:46:48,240 --> 00:46:51,000 Greatness doesn't feel like greatness to the people who are 917 00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:53,480 great. That's right. 918 00:46:54,400 --> 00:46:57,000 It feels like just another day at the office. 919 00:46:57,000 --> 00:47:00,040 So whenever I am doing this thing that everyone else thinks 920 00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:03,840 is so, so cool, but it's just something that I naturally have 921 00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:08,120 an affinity or an aptitude to do well, it doesn't feel like 922 00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:09,720 greatness. It doesn't feel like anything 923 00:47:09,720 --> 00:47:12,800 out of the ordinary. So whenever I go after something 924 00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:17,600 that I would like to be great AT and to be considered great at, 925 00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:23,120 that failing and that try again and that sucking at the start 926 00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:25,920 are not things I'm used to feeling. 927 00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:28,960 I'm used to just feeling like I can handle everything and people 928 00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:33,240 think I'm great at it. This new thing gets a whole 929 00:47:33,240 --> 00:47:38,280 other level of what I consider great to be I think we hold 930 00:47:38,280 --> 00:47:40,560 ourselves to such an incredibly high standard, to a new 931 00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:43,960 something that we're learning that whenever we reach a certain 932 00:47:43,960 --> 00:47:45,880 level of proficiency, that's still enough to blow some 933 00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:47,480 people's doors right off the barn. 934 00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:50,040 Absolutely. And we keep wanting to be 935 00:47:50,040 --> 00:47:52,400 better, which is great. Continue to work, continue to 936 00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:55,280 refine and keep on exceeding expectations. 937 00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:58,920 However, please understand that those come in stair steps as 938 00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:00,440 well. It's great that you get those 939 00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:04,040 five chords in so you can get Wonderwall or whatever it is you 940 00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:06,000 want to do. Champagne Supernova, however you 941 00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:09,360 like to play it, yes. And then you just keep our 942 00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:11,680 stairway to heaven. God knows, we've all heard that 943 00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:15,520 one a million times. But you do it because that's 944 00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:18,080 literally rite of passage. And your repertoire will 945 00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:20,520 increase as your skill increases. 946 00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:25,000 And you just got to be, you just got to be cool until you get to 947 00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:27,360 a point where it just isn't a misery. 948 00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:32,880 I, I, I hope I'm not like, I, I don't want to like hijack the 949 00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:35,280 conversation, but I think that so much of technology things 950 00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:39,440 really do come back to what men are experiencing and don't 951 00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:41,520 realize how much they're missing in this. 952 00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:45,240 I have Mediterranean friends. I live in Europe now. 953 00:48:45,240 --> 00:48:48,040 So I have friends that are. Super. 954 00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:53,960 Tactile, and their idea of personal space is much slimmer 955 00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:57,840 than what I'm used to. OK, Like, wow. 956 00:48:58,240 --> 00:49:01,800 And there was a part of me that felt very awkward about it at 957 00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:03,400 first. Now I love a hug. 958 00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:05,800 I do love a hug. Like, I'll grab you and I'll 959 00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:08,040 squeeze you, you know, especially after a nasty workout 960 00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:10,120 or, you know, haven't seen you in a while, any number of 961 00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:12,240 things. This is different. 962 00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:19,400 This is calm extended play resting of a hand on the back of 963 00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:24,240 a neck on an on an on a leg and arm, a shoulder and it just 964 00:49:24,240 --> 00:49:27,600 rests there and stays while someone is talking to you to 965 00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:29,920 make their point. You're like this person is 966 00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:32,280 touching me. They have not stopped touching 967 00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:35,560 me. And once those red flags and 968 00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:38,720 alarm bells start to kind of calm down and realize that 969 00:49:38,720 --> 00:49:43,600 you're not in danger, it is incredibly calming and 970 00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:47,200 connecting to know that this person is only doing that to 971 00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:49,720 further and deep in that connection while they're 972 00:49:49,720 --> 00:49:52,160 speaking to you on something that is important to them 973 00:49:52,320 --> 00:49:55,840 because you are important to them. 974 00:49:57,200 --> 00:50:00,560 And so many men, especially in like North American culture, 975 00:50:00,560 --> 00:50:03,520 etcetera, have no point of reference for this because 976 00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:07,080 anything more than a slap on the back three times when you're 977 00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:11,200 getting a hug or like one of these terrible miserable side 978 00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:16,000 hug bullshit things. No, if I'm hugging you, you 979 00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:18,440 better be prepared from knee to shoulder. 980 00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:22,160 I'm full body pressing you and if you try to get away, I'm 981 00:50:22,160 --> 00:50:24,040 going to squeeze you until you squeak. 982 00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:27,400 I've broken 2 ribs on two different human beings for 983 00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:32,080 exactly that thing. The balloons were amazing on 984 00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:33,840 that so. Perfect. 985 00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:37,840 But it's it you have to understand, like I'm willing to 986 00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:40,360 wound people for this connection. 987 00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:42,800 Did I mean to? Of course not. 988 00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:45,360 It was completely unintentional, clearly. 989 00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:49,840 And it was so important to me that I was willing to hold on so 990 00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:53,680 hard that it actually injured people that whom I love. 991 00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:56,680 Like this wasn't, you know, some kind of like passive aggressor. 992 00:50:56,680 --> 00:50:59,280 No, it was literally someone that I care very deeply about. 993 00:50:59,920 --> 00:51:02,040 And sometimes the only way you communicate that clearly, 994 00:51:02,040 --> 00:51:05,640 especially wrong, you know, Cavemen minded jerks like we can 995 00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:09,960 be sometimes, is to almost prove who's the alpha. 996 00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:12,720 Look, I've got you. And no matter how you wiggle 997 00:51:12,720 --> 00:51:17,400 right now, I still have you. So you might as well just let it 998 00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:19,880 happen. I understand this sounds 999 00:51:19,880 --> 00:51:21,840 somewhat like a salt. Please understand that I mean 1000 00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:23,880 this from a very loving and respectful place. 1001 00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:27,080 I do. Because there's also a moment in 1002 00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:29,760 that hug where you feel that person melt, where you feel that 1003 00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:32,480 person's defenses start to crumble, and where you feel that 1004 00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:36,600 breath, where's that deep side where that person's ribs 1005 00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:38,760 literally start to lock inside your own. 1006 00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:42,400 And you know there, there's something that you hear in your 1007 00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:45,080 head that you can't say out loud because that will put someone on 1008 00:51:45,080 --> 00:51:48,360 their defensive. Again, I know you needed this 1009 00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:53,240 because I needed this. And you're the one I chose to 1010 00:51:53,240 --> 00:51:56,760 share this with. Please don't leave me alone. 1011 00:51:58,640 --> 00:52:00,880 It's all connection. It's all connections. 1012 00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:04,120 You look at technology like going to go back to the 1013 00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:06,600 technology thing to make your point right now, right now you 1014 00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:08,600 and I are connecting. We're connecting on a huge 1015 00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:09,640 level. Why are we doing it? 1016 00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:12,000 I'm in Canada, you're in the Netherlands, but we're doing 1017 00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:13,680 through the ones and zeros and we're doing it through 1018 00:52:13,960 --> 00:52:16,600 technology. And I can feel you through this. 1019 00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:18,960 And I know you can feel the same way because we're both, you 1020 00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:21,840 know, we both love this and, and, and part of the reason that 1021 00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:25,800 we love this is the connection that you get in doing this, 1022 00:52:26,480 --> 00:52:28,520 this, this, this, this amazing medium. 1023 00:52:28,720 --> 00:52:30,440 We're using technology to connect. 1024 00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:32,920 And there are so many people that are using technology to 1025 00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:34,640 disconnect. And that's where that lack of 1026 00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:37,600 awareness comes in. If you're aware, if you suddenly 1027 00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:39,760 can pop your head up, like I said, like I love to say, you're 1028 00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:40,840 like the little whack A mole, right? 1029 00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:43,200 Pop the head up, right? But you're not going to get 1030 00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:45,120 smashed. You're going to see what's going 1031 00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:47,440 on around instead of what's just in that little hole. 1032 00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:52,600 And I feel so many people are shutting down, shutting off, and 1033 00:52:52,600 --> 00:52:55,680 they're just plugging, you know, into a device in front of them 1034 00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:59,040 to escape. But the exact opposite is what 1035 00:52:59,040 --> 00:53:00,640 we need. We need to connect more. 1036 00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:02,360 We need to exactly what you just said. 1037 00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:08,160 A connection is so, so vital because we as a species crave 1038 00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:10,000 connection. You go all the way back and you 1039 00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:13,760 look at what tribalism from back in the day, the primal mind, you 1040 00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:17,720 know, the, the, the, the, the, the reptile brain still craved 1041 00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:19,840 connection. And that's where the tribalism 1042 00:53:19,840 --> 00:53:22,120 comes from right now. It's been that that's something 1043 00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:25,000 that's been Co opted as well and and weaponized, I feel, and 1044 00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:26,920 that's what's created a lot of the polarization that's out 1045 00:53:26,920 --> 00:53:28,360 there. When really at the end of the 1046 00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:31,520 day, do we want to be polarized? No, we want to be connected. 1047 00:53:31,520 --> 00:53:33,840 And why is it so important? And why or why is it so 1048 00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:36,400 powerful? It's because forces are taking 1049 00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:39,840 people and connecting them in a perverted way. 1050 00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:42,600 They're connecting them so they can say, OK, these are the 1051 00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:43,920 enemies. Let's all band together. 1052 00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:46,040 And whatever it is, whether it's a concept, whether it's a group 1053 00:53:46,040 --> 00:53:47,920 of people, whether it's a political party, whatever it is, 1054 00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:50,360 those people are the enemy. When really at the end of the 1055 00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:53,040 day, what we're really just looking for is connection. 1056 00:53:53,480 --> 00:53:56,240 And, and I mean, I, I, I don't think I could have ever 1057 00:53:56,240 --> 00:53:59,840 articulated it better than you just did, But I mean, it's so 1058 00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:01,800 it's so important. It's so important. 1059 00:54:01,800 --> 00:54:03,960 And, and I mean, whether you get that through the people at the 1060 00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:07,640 gym, people that you do hobbies with, if it's, if it's people at 1061 00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:10,240 work or whatever, we need that connection. 1062 00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:13,360 And for if you're if, if guys are out there that are feeling 1063 00:54:13,360 --> 00:54:18,000 that, my humble opinion is that perhaps if you're feeling alone, 1064 00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:21,600 you probably are and it might not be a bad idea to connect. 1065 00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:25,640 Yes also gentleman out there listening. 1066 00:54:27,280 --> 00:54:31,280 Your partner is not your only person. 1067 00:54:33,240 --> 00:54:37,800 You need to understand you need capital NA tribe, you need a 1068 00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:40,640 group of people because one person in your life cannot be 1069 00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:45,160 your end all, be all, solve all. Please, please hear me when I 1070 00:54:45,160 --> 00:54:47,480 say this. I have very little to advise to 1071 00:54:47,480 --> 00:54:50,960 impart to anyone. I can tell you my experience and 1072 00:54:50,960 --> 00:54:53,720 let you know that trying to get everything out of your romantic 1073 00:54:53,720 --> 00:54:57,000 partner, your life partner, instead of having that spread 1074 00:54:57,000 --> 00:55:01,200 around a group of people is very hurtful to both of you. 1075 00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:06,240 Why is it hurtful for both? I love that and it's true and I 1076 00:55:06,240 --> 00:55:07,600 know it. I'm experiencing it. 1077 00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:10,360 Why? Why do you why go down that path 1078 00:55:10,360 --> 00:55:11,120 a little bit more? Because I. 1079 00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:12,720 Think there's going? To be a group of people that 1080 00:55:12,720 --> 00:55:14,400 have kind of perked their ears up at that what you just. 1081 00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:16,520 Said good. No, because, well, here's the 1082 00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:18,520 thing. If you put all of that at the 1083 00:55:18,520 --> 00:55:21,360 feet of your loving partner, let's just assume a heterosexual 1084 00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:23,680 relationship here, you put all the feet, all that at the feet 1085 00:55:23,680 --> 00:55:28,400 of your wife, and she feels overwhelmed because men have 1086 00:55:28,400 --> 00:55:31,680 been having that. The only person, the only person 1087 00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:34,560 they've ever been taught that they can be fully and wholly 1088 00:55:34,560 --> 00:55:39,240 emotional with is their partner, is their girlfriend, is their 1089 00:55:39,240 --> 00:55:41,120 wife. That's the only person where 1090 00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:44,600 it's safe enough for you to be completely vulnerable and alone 1091 00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:48,000 and open to all of the feelings that are inside this human soul. 1092 00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:53,400 Imagine how overwhelming that must be for someone who is 1093 00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:56,960 already fully in connection with their human soul and now they 1094 00:55:56,960 --> 00:56:00,920 have to carry all of yours too. Not to mention the years of 1095 00:56:00,920 --> 00:56:04,680 trauma you may have endured, not to mention so many other things 1096 00:56:04,680 --> 00:56:07,880 that you are dealing with that is simply far too much for one 1097 00:56:07,880 --> 00:56:11,560 person to handle on their own. It's overwhelming for them. 1098 00:56:11,560 --> 00:56:14,520 And then let's get into the part where there may be feelings of 1099 00:56:14,520 --> 00:56:19,920 guilt when they can't handle two people's worth of emotion. 1100 00:56:20,440 --> 00:56:24,920 Even though that's not realistic by any stretch, they will still 1101 00:56:24,920 --> 00:56:30,600 take that on those I'll feelings that they were not enough to 1102 00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:35,040 take that on for both of you. It is not fair. 1103 00:56:35,440 --> 00:56:38,960 It is unjust. And if you love that person the 1104 00:56:38,960 --> 00:56:42,640 way you're supposed to love that person, you don't ask that of 1105 00:56:42,640 --> 00:56:46,360 them. You do the work so that you can 1106 00:56:46,360 --> 00:56:49,880 find others with whom you can share these things so it is not 1107 00:56:49,880 --> 00:56:52,640 an unbearable burden on the people who are the most 1108 00:56:52,640 --> 00:56:55,240 important to you. It's split among a group of 1109 00:56:55,440 --> 00:56:59,840 8/10/12, however many you it's, it's like an emotional Horcrux. 1110 00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:03,880 You got to split it up and you got to give it away. 1111 00:57:04,920 --> 00:57:07,760 Some people you can give them the heaviest thing on your heart 1112 00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:11,520 and it feels like a feather, and to others, the thing that you 1113 00:57:11,520 --> 00:57:15,720 can carry all day long feels like a cinder block or an anvil 1114 00:57:15,720 --> 00:57:19,720 hanging from their neck. You have to find the right match 1115 00:57:19,920 --> 00:57:23,240 for the right emotional weight so that you don't become a 1116 00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:26,120 burden. You become a partner, your 1117 00:57:26,120 --> 00:57:27,760 helper. That's what we're here to do. 1118 00:57:27,760 --> 00:57:30,600 Our mission is to make people's lives better. 1119 00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:34,600 There is no more important mission on the lives and souls 1120 00:57:34,600 --> 00:57:38,120 of men than to help, to provide, to protect. 1121 00:57:38,800 --> 00:57:41,440 That is an instinct that has been here since fire was first 1122 00:57:41,440 --> 00:57:47,640 born on the planet. And in order to protect them, we 1123 00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:51,040 have to do our own work and become more emotionally 1124 00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:53,920 intelligent, more emotionally evolved. 1125 00:57:54,040 --> 00:57:58,320 So we know when we're too heavy on one person and we remove that 1126 00:57:58,320 --> 00:58:00,640 burden to spread it around a little bit more. 1127 00:58:00,840 --> 00:58:03,560 Don't desert them. I'm not saying they can't handle 1128 00:58:03,600 --> 00:58:05,840 something. That's not at all what I'm 1129 00:58:05,840 --> 00:58:08,200 saying they're there for a reason. 1130 00:58:08,200 --> 00:58:11,160 They love you, they want to see you succeed and they want to 1131 00:58:11,160 --> 00:58:17,520 help you. They can't carry it all, and fun 1132 00:58:17,520 --> 00:58:22,680 part is neither can you. We need that connection so that 1133 00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:24,440 we don't have to carry that all by ourselves. 1134 00:58:24,720 --> 00:58:27,720 And for whatever reason, we're taught from a very young age 1135 00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:32,360 that you're an island, you're a rock, you're a mountain. 1136 00:58:33,200 --> 00:58:40,680 Strong equals immovable, inflexible, closed, stationary. 1137 00:58:40,920 --> 00:58:42,480 Could not be further from the truth. 1138 00:58:42,880 --> 00:58:44,200 Could not be further from the truth. 1139 00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:48,080 One of the most flexible substances on the planet. 1140 00:58:48,880 --> 00:58:52,440 Spider silk. You weave that thickly enough, 1141 00:58:52,440 --> 00:58:54,640 it is stronger than steel. Yep. 1142 00:58:54,640 --> 00:58:58,640 And it's still flexible. I want us to think about us 1143 00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:01,440 exactly the same way by ourselves. 1144 00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:06,400 We're fragile, we're brittle. We're strong for our for our 1145 00:59:08,480 --> 00:59:11,400 breadth of line. When we connect with everyone 1146 00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:15,760 else and we start to weave that rope, that cable, we become 1147 00:59:15,880 --> 00:59:19,920 infinitely stronger and we have to continue to look at it that 1148 00:59:19,920 --> 00:59:21,600 way. Look for whatever metaphor you 1149 00:59:21,600 --> 00:59:23,520 need. Look for whatever picture that 1150 00:59:23,520 --> 00:59:27,880 helps you get there. You've got to get there, men. 1151 00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:31,960 It's not an accusation, it is a plea. 1152 00:59:32,480 --> 00:59:34,640 You're going to be so much better off. 1153 00:59:35,080 --> 00:59:38,160 Oh my goodness, when? Everyone around you, by the way. 1154 00:59:38,680 --> 00:59:40,120 Thank you. Yep. 1155 00:59:40,120 --> 00:59:42,560 That that's it. If it's not enough that you do 1156 00:59:42,560 --> 00:59:44,520 it for yourself, do it for everybody around you who wants 1157 00:59:44,520 --> 00:59:46,800 to see you succeed, who's there to watch it. 1158 00:59:46,800 --> 00:59:49,360 And they're waiting. Oh my God, they're just bated 1159 00:59:49,360 --> 00:59:52,160 breath waiting for you to breakthrough because they know 1160 00:59:52,160 --> 00:59:54,040 you're almost there. You want it so badly. 1161 00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:56,680 They can tell you want it badly because you're a good human 1162 00:59:56,680 --> 00:59:58,800 being, you're a good person inside. 1163 00:59:58,800 --> 01:00:03,000 You just don't know what it is you have to do to cross that 1164 01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:06,160 threshold. And that's OK, because no one's 1165 01:00:06,160 --> 01:00:07,880 trying to instruct you. They're trying to be good 1166 01:00:07,880 --> 01:00:12,880 examples, especially the women. We looked at them for the wisdom 1167 01:00:13,120 --> 01:00:15,880 and the how to on something like that so that we can be better 1168 01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:20,120 and more like it. It's not surrendering 1169 01:00:20,120 --> 01:00:24,640 masculinity, it is integrating femininity into who you are. 1170 01:00:25,120 --> 01:00:28,600 And there is a strength there that we have no flipping clue 1171 01:00:28,600 --> 01:00:31,000 about. And the more we inform ourselves 1172 01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:34,680 on what lives there in those realms, the stronger will be and 1173 01:00:34,680 --> 01:00:40,280 the better men will be as well. You've just, well, you've done 1174 01:00:40,280 --> 01:00:42,000 two things. You've you, you've, you've shown 1175 01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:45,880 why the Radical Joy podcast is so powerful. 1176 01:00:46,360 --> 01:00:48,480 Because I just feel like I was listening to an episode of your 1177 01:00:48,480 --> 01:00:49,680 show. It's, it's so good. 1178 01:00:49,720 --> 01:00:52,240 And, and, and that's, that's you and you are that's the thing I 1179 01:00:52,240 --> 01:00:55,600 love about you is that you are unabashedly, unapologetically 1180 01:00:55,600 --> 01:00:59,600 you and authenticity again, not that there's not low moments 1181 01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:02,680 again for those, you know, there's ups and downs in life, 1182 01:01:02,680 --> 01:01:03,680 right? But you are being 1183 01:01:03,680 --> 01:01:05,400 unapologetically, unabashedly you. 1184 01:01:05,680 --> 01:01:08,000 You are that on the show. And at the same time. 1185 01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:10,440 So the second thing, that's the first thing is it's, it's, it's, 1186 01:01:10,440 --> 01:01:11,840 it's why your show is so powerful. 1187 01:01:11,840 --> 01:01:14,600 The second thing is you just literally summed up why he 1188 01:01:14,600 --> 01:01:15,560 changed. It exists. 1189 01:01:15,960 --> 01:01:19,720 It that is exactly what the the whole purpose of this thing is. 1190 01:01:20,040 --> 01:01:23,520 It's it's so guys who everybody has a phone. 1191 01:01:24,240 --> 01:01:27,560 Everybody has what if at when you're going through these 1192 01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:30,760 things, when you're pondering these things, when, when the 1193 01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:33,560 water is coming over the, over the bow of the boat, What if you 1194 01:01:33,560 --> 01:01:36,360 had a tool that you could immediately go to? 1195 01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:38,760 And if you want to be anonymous, you can be anonymous if you want 1196 01:01:38,760 --> 01:01:40,840 to go in and just, you know, maybe there's, you find your 1197 01:01:40,840 --> 01:01:42,160 tribe in there. Maybe there's two or three 1198 01:01:42,160 --> 01:01:44,440 people that you kind of connect with or whatever, and they're a 1199 01:01:44,440 --> 01:01:46,760 mastermind group for you. There are those people who can, 1200 01:01:47,080 --> 01:01:51,680 who, who can help be that person who can give, like you said, 1201 01:01:51,680 --> 01:01:53,440 light as a feather. It's light as a feather. 1202 01:01:53,440 --> 01:01:56,080 Hearing what somebody's going through and being able to kind 1203 01:01:56,080 --> 01:02:00,720 of give, you know, honest feedback and, and again, get 1204 01:02:00,720 --> 01:02:02,440 that you're not alone. Well, guess what? 1205 01:02:02,440 --> 01:02:04,320 That's what exactly what he changed is trying to build. 1206 01:02:04,320 --> 01:02:07,720 And you just made the case for why, why they're trying to build 1207 01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:10,880 it and why it's so needed. And Speaking of which, your 1208 01:02:10,880 --> 01:02:13,960 podcast is needed. I, I, I, I, I can't tell you, 1209 01:02:13,960 --> 01:02:17,280 James, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the fact that 1210 01:02:17,280 --> 01:02:20,960 your particular sunbeam is shining on this planet right 1211 01:02:20,960 --> 01:02:22,000 now. It, it is. 1212 01:02:23,120 --> 01:02:25,560 And, and again, I, it's not to blow smoke. 1213 01:02:25,560 --> 01:02:27,440 It's not, it's, it's so necessary. 1214 01:02:27,760 --> 01:02:31,000 And sometimes the people with the voices that are willing to 1215 01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:33,600 speak a little bit louder or a little bit different or a little 1216 01:02:33,600 --> 01:02:36,800 bit different of a vocabulary are the ones who are going to 1217 01:02:36,800 --> 01:02:40,200 help make change for people. You are, man, you're at the top 1218 01:02:40,200 --> 01:02:42,240 of that list. And I can't tell you how much I 1219 01:02:42,320 --> 01:02:44,080 like again, we know we're both podcasters. 1220 01:02:44,080 --> 01:02:46,720 We know how slippery time is. It's already, we're already 1221 01:02:46,720 --> 01:02:49,000 there. I can't wait for the next time. 1222 01:02:49,560 --> 01:02:50,960 I'm I'm you're, you're going to come back. 1223 01:02:50,960 --> 01:02:53,320 I'm, I'm, I'm demanding that you're going to come back. 1224 01:02:53,320 --> 01:02:54,920 I'm. Looking forward to having you on 1225 01:02:54,920 --> 01:02:56,760 Radical Joy as well. This is going to be I can't 1226 01:02:56,760 --> 01:02:59,000 wait. That way I can, I can glow on 1227 01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:03,960 you, oh 'cause you have just like God the ego stroke I have 1228 01:03:03,960 --> 01:03:08,000 received in this hour for the love of all this whole I'm like, 1229 01:03:08,000 --> 01:03:10,800 jeez, I'm not going to be able to go to sleep for a while now. 1230 01:03:10,800 --> 01:03:13,000 I'm going to have to like, strut around the block a moment. 1231 01:03:14,160 --> 01:03:17,000 So, so, so when people other than if they want to, you know, 1232 01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:19,080 come to the Netherlands and find your block as to that you're 1233 01:03:19,080 --> 01:03:20,440 strutting around, how do people find you? 1234 01:03:20,440 --> 01:03:22,160 Like, like radical joy? Obviously it's on all the 1235 01:03:22,160 --> 01:03:26,200 podcast platforms. Do you do you do a social media 1236 01:03:26,200 --> 01:03:28,760 presence as well or is basically everything that you do kind of 1237 01:03:28,760 --> 01:03:31,160 through the through the the podcast? 1238 01:03:31,400 --> 01:03:33,560 I do a social media presence as well on Instagram. 1239 01:03:33,560 --> 01:03:36,240 It's James E Bullard and that's I'll send it to you. 1240 01:03:36,240 --> 01:03:38,120 So if we want to add it to the show notes or what have you, 1241 01:03:38,120 --> 01:03:39,920 it's there because I also do coaching. 1242 01:03:39,920 --> 01:03:42,040 Like something that you mentioned earlier before is like 1243 01:03:42,040 --> 01:03:44,040 most men don't know what they want. 1244 01:03:44,480 --> 01:03:47,840 That's exactly what I do. I do strategic planning and 1245 01:03:47,840 --> 01:03:51,520 identity clarification because a lot of men are stuck on cruise 1246 01:03:51,520 --> 01:03:53,560 control. They're very successful in a 1247 01:03:53,560 --> 01:03:57,520 monetary position in definitions of life set by others on their 1248 01:03:57,520 --> 01:04:00,840 lives, and they still have this feeling of emptiness or 1249 01:04:00,840 --> 01:04:05,400 loneliness or whatever. OK, if you're ready to make some 1250 01:04:05,400 --> 01:04:08,560 sort of change, you need to figure out what it is you want. 1251 01:04:08,600 --> 01:04:14,080 And most men, most like high percentage don't know what that 1252 01:04:14,080 --> 01:04:16,120 even looks like, don't even know where to start. 1253 01:04:16,360 --> 01:04:17,960 So we work together to figure that out. 1254 01:04:17,960 --> 01:04:20,400 We figure out what you don't want because a lot of people 1255 01:04:20,400 --> 01:04:24,480 know that we flip it and then we refine it to figure out what it 1256 01:04:24,480 --> 01:04:26,440 is you do want. And we make small consistent 1257 01:04:26,440 --> 01:04:32,840 steps together so that you can sort of like make easy steps 1258 01:04:32,840 --> 01:04:35,160 toward it. Consistent, but not these giant 1259 01:04:35,160 --> 01:04:36,640 leaps. Giant leaps don't get you 1260 01:04:36,640 --> 01:04:39,120 anywhere because you can hurt yourself whenever you land. 1261 01:04:39,440 --> 01:04:42,560 Small, consistent steps toward a goal are the way to do it 1262 01:04:42,560 --> 01:04:46,360 because small steps every single day will get you there. 1263 01:04:46,360 --> 01:04:48,760 It just may not feel as quick as you'd want it. 1264 01:04:48,800 --> 01:04:52,080 Impatient party of one. But that's what I do. 1265 01:04:52,320 --> 01:04:55,320 I just help people figure out what it is they want, make steps 1266 01:04:55,320 --> 01:05:00,200 to do it, and then I cheerlead aggressively in their corner, 1267 01:05:00,200 --> 01:05:02,440 tell them what they're doing right, tell them what they're 1268 01:05:02,440 --> 01:05:06,320 doing that could use some improvement or some 1269 01:05:06,320 --> 01:05:09,640 clarification or perhaps just a little tweak and direction, and 1270 01:05:09,640 --> 01:05:13,160 away we go. Just listening to you, I mean, 1271 01:05:13,480 --> 01:05:16,160 like I think about Doctor Stephen Covey talking about, you 1272 01:05:16,160 --> 01:05:18,440 know, reactive language versus proactive language. 1273 01:05:18,720 --> 01:05:20,800 You know, I focus on what they're great at. 1274 01:05:20,800 --> 01:05:23,800 I cheerlead that. And then I where they, I help 1275 01:05:23,800 --> 01:05:25,640 them improve where they're improving because again, I don't 1276 01:05:25,640 --> 01:05:27,840 suck at something. I just, I'm improving everyday. 1277 01:05:27,840 --> 01:05:29,680 I'm getting better at this. And that's that, that's that 1278 01:05:29,680 --> 01:05:33,880 proactive language that that if we just change the way that we 1279 01:05:33,880 --> 01:05:36,200 just looked at things just a little bit, like you said, just 1280 01:05:36,200 --> 01:05:38,760 a little bit from reactive to proactive, that's going to put 1281 01:05:38,760 --> 01:05:40,360 us on a completely different trajectory. 1282 01:05:41,120 --> 01:05:46,200 So if people want to look towards that is the best place 1283 01:05:46,200 --> 01:05:48,480 to find you on social media for that or is there if you have a 1284 01:05:48,480 --> 01:05:52,000 website that you want? To that too, you can go to 1285 01:05:52,000 --> 01:05:56,880 www.jamesbullard.com or you can go on Instagram to James E 1286 01:05:56,880 --> 01:05:59,680 Bullard and find me there because I'm everywhere. 1287 01:05:59,680 --> 01:06:03,280 I'm kind of like Santa Claus and plus it's really easy to spot me 1288 01:06:03,280 --> 01:06:05,840 because you're going to hear the southern twang, you're going to 1289 01:06:05,840 --> 01:06:09,080 see a ridiculous shirt, this big stupid pompadour. 1290 01:06:09,080 --> 01:06:13,560 Like so many things just go into the bucket of Bullard. 1291 01:06:13,560 --> 01:06:18,560 It's not like I'm hard to find. I'm. 1292 01:06:19,000 --> 01:06:21,040 Glad you're not. I'm glad you're not. 1293 01:06:21,600 --> 01:06:23,880 Like I really, really am. I'm so glad. 1294 01:06:24,840 --> 01:06:25,800 Thank you for being in this world. 1295 01:06:25,800 --> 01:06:28,400 Thank you for taking the shine that you feel inside and trying 1296 01:06:28,400 --> 01:06:32,040 to give it to others personally, professionally in the podcast. 1297 01:06:32,320 --> 01:06:34,720 James, it has been an absolute pleasure having you today. 1298 01:06:34,720 --> 01:06:38,880 I can't wait for the next steps. And yeah, thank you so much for 1299 01:06:38,880 --> 01:06:40,960 being on he cast today. It's been my pleasure. 1300 01:06:40,960 --> 01:06:42,520 Thank you, Mike. Wishing you the best. 1301 01:06:43,960 --> 01:06:45,080 That's why we do the show, everybody. 1302 01:06:45,080 --> 01:06:46,640 This is exactly why we do the show. 1303 01:06:46,640 --> 01:06:49,640 This is 100% example as to why we do the show. 1304 01:06:50,200 --> 01:06:52,640 Wherever you're at right now, please know that you're not 1305 01:06:52,640 --> 01:06:54,480 alone. And if you haven't downloaded 1306 01:06:54,480 --> 01:06:56,480 the He Changed It app yet, go to hechangedit.com. 1307 01:06:56,480 --> 01:06:57,880 Check it on out, see what's there. 1308 01:06:58,240 --> 01:07:00,400 Whatever your technological persuasion is, we've got 1309 01:07:00,400 --> 01:07:02,880 something for you. This has been another episode of 1310 01:07:02,880 --> 01:07:05,200 He cast the official podcast of He Changed It. 1311 01:07:05,440 --> 01:07:07,560 My name is Mike Chisholm. Go change something.