1 00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:12,600 Yeah, the official podcast of he changed it as always I am Mike 2 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:13,900 Chisholm. As always. 3 00:00:13,900 --> 00:00:17,000 I am excited to be here. I am a broken record if you've 4 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,700 listened to two or three of these in a row first off, what's 5 00:00:19,700 --> 00:00:21,400 the matter with you? Holy cow. 6 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:25,100 Thank you very much. I say it every time how excited 7 00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:28,700 I am to do this. This is the highlight of my week 8 00:00:28,700 --> 00:00:33,000 coming on here, too. Talking to awesome people about 9 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:38,000 mental Wellness, in the lens of how it affects men in this time 10 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:42,700 in this place in the 2020s. If you haven't downloaded, he 11 00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:45,000 changed it yet. What are you waiting for? 12 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,600 Holy cow. This thing's starting to take 13 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:48,200 off. It's still in beta. 14 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:49,900 Technically. It's still in beta where in the 15 00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:53,300 Android store were in the, I Apple Store search. 16 00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:54,900 He changed it. You'll find the app, please 17 00:00:54,900 --> 00:00:57,700 download it. Be an early adopter of this 18 00:00:57,700 --> 00:01:01,600 movement, which is literally going To change the world. 19 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:05,600 Also as I call them the heat change that overlords. 20 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,400 It's my wife. This is the only opportunity. 21 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,300 I get to call my wife and Overlord and get away with it. 22 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:15,100 Please subscribe. Please, share this podcast. 23 00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:20,400 We just want to help you know, in the app right now. 24 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,300 There's there's, there's been a couple stories and I mean we 25 00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,600 were Anonymous in the app and the community and all that stuff 26 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:28,700 but there's been a couple of guys who have come in and been 27 00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:30,700 going through going bingo. Through some shit. 28 00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:34,600 And I got to be careful, not getting emotional here because 29 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:39,700 it's really neat watching, guys. Come in and help guys were going 30 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:42,300 through stuff and it's happening. 31 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:46,300 It's happening right now and and it's just exciting and 32 00:01:46,300 --> 00:01:51,000 gratifying and all the things to see that happening right now. 33 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:56,200 As always, he cast wants to be ingredients to a meal that will 34 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:59,500 make our life healthier. And today is no exception to 35 00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:01,400 that. We've got a guest on here. 36 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:06,700 I'm super excited about because she's going to talk about I 37 00:02:06,708 --> 00:02:07,700 don't even know what you call it. 38 00:02:07,700 --> 00:02:12,400 A personality type of condition. A genetic type A disposition. 39 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,500 I'm not sure. We're going to talk about a lot 40 00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:17,300 of things, but one of the things we're going to talk about HSP, 41 00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:21,200 highly sensitive people. And I think that's, I think 42 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:23,100 that's what the moniker is, but she'll show. 43 00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:26,100 Correct me if I got it, if I got it wrong, but but sensitivity, 44 00:02:26,100 --> 00:02:28,900 definitely affects us differently. 45 00:02:29,300 --> 00:02:30,900 I know I'm a very Sensitive creature. 46 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:36,600 I know that I as a man grew up with the stigma of man up and as 47 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:40,400 for viewers and listeners of this podcast, you know that we 48 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:43,500 at he changed her taking back the phrase man up, and we're 49 00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:47,600 going to make it instead of its traditional meanings. 50 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:49,700 We're going to take it and say, no, no, we're going to accept 51 00:02:49,700 --> 00:02:51,400 responsibility for what's going on here. 52 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:52,500 And we're going to face it full force. 53 00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:56,200 That's what Manning up is HSP. Highly sensitive. 54 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:59,800 People is definitely a part of that Claire. 55 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:01,500 Come on. Amar is our guest today. 56 00:03:01,500 --> 00:03:03,500 And here's the thing. I love about Claire Kumar. 57 00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:06,100 She has a title that is instantly intriguing. 58 00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:10,700 She's a productivity Catalyst. She is a coach. 59 00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:17,300 She has advised many top-tier Fortune 100 companies and 60 00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:21,500 groups, and she's in t dot, but through the Miracles of 61 00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:24,700 Technology, Toronto and Kelowna can be linked right up together. 62 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:26,600 Claire Kumar. Thank you so much for taking 63 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:29,500 time, out of your very busy schedule to be part of. 64 00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:32,500 He Today, oh my gosh. What a treat to be with you. 65 00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:34,200 Mike. Your energy is infectious. 66 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,400 I love it. I appreciate that. 67 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,200 Hopefully, it's just the energy and not anything else. 68 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:42,300 That's infecting? You, I appreciate so much that 69 00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:44,600 you have taken time to be part of this today. 70 00:03:44,900 --> 00:03:47,400 Let's start with productivity Catalyst because it is. 71 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,900 It is titillating. It's one of those things that 72 00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:52,100 you see that that is this person's title. 73 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:53,600 What does a productivity Catalyst? 74 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:57,300 Well, it's grounded. In my belief that everybody 75 00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:59,900 deserves a really rich fulfilling life. 76 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:04,000 Let's just start there. This is why I do what I do to be 77 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,200 fulfilled. We need to dance and 78 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:10,100 reciprocity. We need to continually be giving 79 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:14,800 to be receiving if we turn on our engine to give, then we're 80 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,899 nowhere. And if we, you know, we see an 81 00:04:16,899 --> 00:04:20,399 epidemic of people sliding and slipping into burnout into 82 00:04:20,399 --> 00:04:23,500 anxiety and depression off the charts now, right? 83 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:28,200 And so my whole motivation is to say, wait a minute, I take life 84 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:32,100 coaching performance. Coaching productivity coaching 85 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,800 wrap that all up together and say we need to look at this 86 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:37,900 holistically and that's why I came up with the term 87 00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:41,800 productivity Catalyst because I want to help people sustain 88 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:44,700 their performance and really keep that giving engine going. 89 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:48,100 See, I love that because the idea of the catalyst is you take 90 00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:48,900 something. Yeah. 91 00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:52,300 The Catalyst and then it turns into something else and 92 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,600 certainly everything that you were talking about there. 93 00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:57,700 Resonates. I know so many guys in their 94 00:04:57,700 --> 00:04:59,200 40s. Right now we see them and he 95 00:04:59,200 --> 00:04:59,800 changed it. We see them. 96 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:04,000 In the research that Kandi and her team are doing that. 97 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,900 There are people you talk about the giving. 98 00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:11,000 There's a lot of guys out there who have given and given and 99 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,600 given and given until their empty. 100 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:14,800 They give to their families. They give through working at a 101 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,900 job. They might not like, necessarily 102 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,500 they give and they give, you know, they're in the sandwich 103 00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:20,900 generation. Many of them are taking care of 104 00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:23,900 their parents and they're taking care of kids, and they give and 105 00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:28,100 give and give the receiving doesn't happen. 106 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:29,900 And guess what? That sponge gets. 107 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:34,600 Dry and when the sponge is dry, it can't hydrate anything else. 108 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,700 Am I on the right path? With what it is that you're 109 00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:39,400 talking about? Absolutely, and it's often 110 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,600 unspoken the challenge that you're that. 111 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:44,000 You just outlined there. We don't, we don't talk about 112 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:44,900 this. Well, running dry. 113 00:05:44,900 --> 00:05:49,900 We don't even talk about that. It's really reasonable to expect 114 00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:52,100 to be hydrated in what you're doing. 115 00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:55,000 That there should be something that comes back to you, in your 116 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,500 work and in your community and in your family as well. 117 00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,900 What is that? Is that is that a lack of? 118 00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:04,200 Venus that that we feel. Is it a lack of like why don't 119 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,200 I'm specifically talking about men here who are in this place 120 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,000 and many times is a quiet place where they don't talk about it. 121 00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:13,900 Do we feel that we don't deserve it. 122 00:06:13,900 --> 00:06:16,500 Is that is that a catalyst for those feelings? 123 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:20,000 I think you know, we've come through a society that 124 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:23,300 conditions us in a certain way and men have been conditioned to 125 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:26,100 be the provider the go-getter, the Hunter. 126 00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:29,800 And we haven't made room for the full experience of a human. 127 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,500 One beautiful book. I'm reading now is now, the book 128 00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:37,900 is aimed at women. Sure, but the messages are for 129 00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:39,500 everyone in this book. It's called fear, 130 00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:44,300 self-compassion by Kristin Neff. She talks a lot about the state 131 00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:46,700 of men in the world and women in the world. 132 00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:50,100 And this Yin energy, which is softer in this Yang energy, 133 00:06:50,100 --> 00:06:53,500 which is stronger and it's been okay for men to be angry and 134 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:56,800 assertive and get things done. And women are expected to be 135 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,800 nurturing and kind and soft. Will we need more? 136 00:06:59,900 --> 00:07:02,800 Women to be strong. We need more men to be sensitive 137 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:07,100 and we need this fully coming together as humans with both a 138 00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:10,900 yin and yang and, and energy and that and then room for those 139 00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:15,400 expressions of both, sensitivity and strength, you are talking, 140 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:18,100 you're preaching to the choir in the fact that you're talking to 141 00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:21,600 a guy who grew up sensitive. I've always been that way. 142 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,400 I try and gravitate to being happy as much as I possibly can. 143 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,500 I've been told I'm an empath don't even know really what that 144 00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:29,600 means. Read the empath. 145 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,500 Guide by dr. Julie orlov. 146 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:36,500 Kind of I resonate with that HSP highly sensitive people. 147 00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:39,200 The moment. I saw you on the docket as a 148 00:07:39,207 --> 00:07:42,000 potential guests for he cast I'm like, oh, yeah, we're grabbing 149 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:45,200 her. Because the idea of the highly 150 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:47,800 sensitive people. I think about myself, I think 151 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,400 about my younger brother, I think about some of the people 152 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:55,800 that I've brought into my circle as friends and and also not just 153 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:59,800 that I think about folks who have been predatory. 154 00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:05,100 Towards myself and others who have that sensitive disposition 155 00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:08,200 have never really been able to identify it. 156 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:11,900 And I saw it and I was like, oh my God, I think this woman might 157 00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:14,900 know something about me that I don't know about me. 158 00:08:14,907 --> 00:08:17,400 That I can't articulate properly. 159 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:21,700 Let's go into the highly sensitive people and and and 160 00:08:21,700 --> 00:08:25,500 what that is and what it means, I love it. 161 00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:27,900 And you know, their self-awareness that you already 162 00:08:27,900 --> 00:08:31,300 have is is a testament. To your ability to notice. 163 00:08:31,700 --> 00:08:34,900 So, high sensitivity itself is a trait. 164 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,200 So, to answer the question. What is this thing we're talking 165 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,400 about. It's not a disorder. 166 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:42,700 It's a trait. And by that, this is dr. 167 00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:47,500 Elaine Aaron's work from the mid 90s and she stepped into the 168 00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:50,400 work as a psychologist. After going to see a therapist 169 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:51,900 of hers. Who was they were talking 170 00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:53,500 through things. And the therapist was like, 171 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:58,100 well, I think you might just be highly sensitive and Elaine sat 172 00:08:58,100 --> 00:09:01,000 with that thought and went wait a Minute, wait a minute. 173 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,600 Let me dig into this. So there are a hundred species 174 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:05,500 of animals that are highly sensitive. 175 00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:09,100 They've researched this and different animals to notice a 176 00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:14,300 collection of ways of being that show up consistently in a highly 177 00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:17,000 sensitive person and I can walk through those. 178 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:22,900 But overall, it's it's that our nervous systems are always on 179 00:09:23,300 --> 00:09:26,500 their highly perceptive. They're highly responsive. 180 00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:31,500 We're incredibly Vigilant, we are The notice errs of what's 181 00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:35,100 going on empathy. Imagine empaths as well. 182 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:39,400 Dr. Aaron wants to make a little bit of a distinguished between 183 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:42,500 the two, because there's been quite a lot of scientific 184 00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:46,200 research around High sensitivity, empathy and empathy 185 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:49,000 being an empath. Rather is a little hard to prove 186 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,000 scientifically. So she likes to maintain a 187 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,600 distance but I say, we're very weird. 188 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:58,100 Like I think MPS are on the extreme end of a sensitivity 189 00:09:58,300 --> 00:10:00,800 because this ability to tune in my Sisters, an empath. 190 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:04,800 So, I have a lot of room for what we know, and we can measure 191 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:08,100 and then for an openness as well to kind of understand. 192 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:10,700 Well, just because I haven't seen it. 193 00:10:10,700 --> 00:10:11,600 Don't understand. It. 194 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:14,100 Don't experience it. I can't say it doesn't exist. 195 00:10:14,100 --> 00:10:15,600 So what am I going to be open to? 196 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:21,600 So high sensitivity, and one in five people show up with this 197 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:25,300 trait, possibly more the awareness of it though, very 198 00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:28,500 very low. It's considered a neurodivergent 199 00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:31,600 way of thinking. Right now we're in a world that 200 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:34,900 thinks a lot of people here in our Divergent and they think 201 00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:37,900 autism first. They might know that it it 202 00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:40,400 actually expands to include ADHD. 203 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,100 Dyslexia. Dyscalculia. 204 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:47,200 Dyspraxia, all kinds of other symptoms or disorders. 205 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:51,000 And I'm using air quotes to say disorder because there are a lot 206 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,700 of people who would say well wait a minute. 207 00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:56,400 This is just another way of the brain and the nervous system 208 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:59,300 showing up. Is it really a disorder or is it 209 00:10:59,300 --> 00:11:00,500 just another? Way of being. 210 00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:03,200 So there's a lot of discussion in the community that I want to 211 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:07,700 be sensitive to, but the point is we've got at least one in 212 00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:12,500 five people out there and right now because of what we've been 213 00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:16,200 through in the world through the pandemic and what we're seeing 214 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:19,200 now happen with Russia and Ukraine. 215 00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:22,200 There are M and climate change, right? 216 00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:27,300 We've got existential challenge going on and because of that, 217 00:11:27,300 --> 00:11:29,700 the neurotypical brain in the UK. 218 00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:33,800 Is being shown to suffer from the same signs as one, who would 219 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:38,600 suffer from PTSD? And we know with PTSD that high 220 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,700 sensitivity is part of the experience. 221 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:45,700 So right now, the relevancy of understanding, what sensitivity 222 00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:49,700 means, if you're feeling that and how to live with it better, 223 00:11:49,700 --> 00:11:51,700 that's what the happy space movement. 224 00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:55,400 And I love that the, you know, there's he changed, it is a 225 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:59,200 movement as well because there are deep shifts that need to 226 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:03,100 happen in the world to this openness and understanding the 227 00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:05,200 way we need to be. And I think sensitivity is part 228 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:09,900 of it. I very much appreciate the depth 229 00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:12,200 of this. This isn't just the fact that 230 00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:15,700 you think about the the stereotypical when you think of 231 00:12:15,708 --> 00:12:17,400 so many highly sensitive. Oh, okay. 232 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,400 It means that their feelings get hurt easily. 233 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:24,500 And that might be, that might be again, one of many, many 234 00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:29,700 different ways that this HSP would manifest itself, but you 235 00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:32,200 just listed a whole bunch of other ways that do that, some 236 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:36,100 that model on border on the, on the idea of maybe. 237 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:39,600 A disorder or something that can be more concretely diagnosed. 238 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:43,500 But I love the fact that it does encompass, so many different 239 00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:47,800 things, and provide so much food for thought for folks. 240 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,400 The idea that again, let's go back to the, the people who 241 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:55,100 might get their feelings hurt easily because at the, at the 242 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:58,900 end of the day, you do have techniques for people to deal 243 00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:05,200 with this specific set of traits that they have that manifest as 244 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:08,500 they live every day. As they go to work as they get 245 00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:12,200 cut off in traffic as they, you know, go through relationships 246 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:16,900 that kind of a thing. I'm very excited about the idea 247 00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:20,500 of this because there's a lot of guys who are feeling this way, 248 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:25,200 but don't necessarily talk about it are aware you talk about 249 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:26,900 awareness. So yeah, this is a great 250 00:13:26,900 --> 00:13:30,300 conversation to have Yeah, thank you. 251 00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:33,200 It's well. One thing I should say is the 252 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,300 trait is equally spread between men and women. 253 00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:38,100 So the men out there is easily that 20%. 254 00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:41,800 And if you, if you think you're a creative individual, I'm going 255 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:44,000 to suggest is probably higher. If you're in a healing 256 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,800 profession. I'm going to suggest is probably 257 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,000 higher, your you've got that empathy. 258 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,400 I can run through. If might be helpful for 259 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:52,400 listeners. I think running through the four 260 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:55,900 top traits definitely and the trait that can really like, 261 00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:58,900 listen, for these things. And if you're curious, I created 262 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:03,500 A very fun light-hearted quiz, and if you tick off the boxes 263 00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:05,100 there be like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 264 00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:06,900 She's speaking my language. If you're curious. 265 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,500 You can check that out. But where do you find the quiz? 266 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:11,300 Let's let's go right there. Where do you go? 267 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,600 Awesome? So the busiest places. 268 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:19,800 Happy space pod.com, and if you go there, you'll find the quiz, 269 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,500 you'll find the podcast, you'll find the online community. 270 00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:26,700 It's the one stop shop for learning about this and also 271 00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:29,600 connecting with like-minded. People. 272 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,900 So, by all means, feel free to check that out. 273 00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:35,400 But the four different elements of the trait. 274 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:39,200 I like to use the analogy and I came up with this term for it. 275 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:43,900 Based on Elaine. Aaron's work, seed, s, ee D. 276 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:47,300 I like that analogy because it implies, you've got everything 277 00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:51,300 you need and you can grow it beautifully, right? 278 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,200 So, sometimes we're a different stages of growth. 279 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:58,300 Oh, and I will fully admit to teaching what I need to learn, 280 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,400 right? There's definitely that in my 281 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,300 journey. So let me take you through seed 282 00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:05,800 real quick here. S is for sensitivity to 283 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:10,400 stimulation. So we will be those notices with 284 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,900 that nervous system that responds that is on. 285 00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:17,200 We will be noticing a rise in humidity will be noticing a 286 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,900 rough texture that will be like, take those tags. 287 00:15:19,900 --> 00:15:24,800 Out of my shirt will be noticing a shift in energy in the room, a 288 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:28,000 facial expression, will notice a group of people, and if 289 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:31,300 something's not working. Working here will be sensing a 290 00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:35,100 lot of what's going on. Sometimes, that's great because 291 00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,900 we have that extra knowledge and insight. 292 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,300 Sometimes it's absolutely overwhelming. 293 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:44,300 I'm a bit nervous these days because my my neighbors 294 00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:47,100 downstairs are going to start demolition of a wall in their 295 00:15:47,100 --> 00:15:50,000 unit and I'm living on like eggshells when it's going to 296 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,200 start and what kind of noise is going to come up. 297 00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:57,300 And I know I'm going to need to take preventative action to find 298 00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:58,800 other places to work at certain times. 299 00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:03,300 So noticing that, that sensitivity to subtle stimulate 300 00:16:03,300 --> 00:16:06,200 huge, the first he has for empathy. 301 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:12,000 We are off the charts sensing and feeling what other people 302 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:16,000 are experiencing. This is might be why watching 303 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,000 the news can be really overwhelming. 304 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:21,400 We can, we can we can get really emotionally exhausted. 305 00:16:21,900 --> 00:16:25,300 While we're amazing caregivers. We can really burn out if we're 306 00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:28,500 not careful carrying the emotional load of what we're 307 00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:33,100 feeling. The second is our emotional 308 00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:38,100 perception or responsiveness. We have an opportunity though. 309 00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:40,100 Here. We are our brains react more 310 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:42,200 quickly. There's there's one. 311 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:47,000 I think it was on a real or a tick tock where 10 Jake 312 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,900 Gyllenhaal. I'm going to like need to talk 313 00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:49,900 to Jake. Okay. 314 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,700 He's talking to another actor. I think it's Tom something and 315 00:16:53,700 --> 00:16:58,900 I'm so not culturally on top of my game here, but the one out. 316 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:03,200 Actor was talking about how he really was sensitive to loud 317 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:08,400 noises and while he's in this moment of sensitive expression 318 00:17:08,900 --> 00:17:13,200 to an audience, but two men sitting there, Jake shouts at 319 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:19,200 him in this thing and Tom has a startled reaction because Jake 320 00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:21,599 heard the sensitivity and went for it. 321 00:17:21,700 --> 00:17:25,200 Hmm. And it might have been a ploy to 322 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:29,300 be humorous. But in that moment, it was Well, 323 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:34,900 and so there's a beautiful example of not having room and 324 00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:38,800 not even embracing and having an openness for someone who's 325 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,900 actually bravely saying and talking about their sensitivity. 326 00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:45,200 If I can find the link I will I will send it to you. 327 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,700 Please do that. Absolutely. 328 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:52,300 Yeah, but there's an example of how we don't have we so we can 329 00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:57,000 be aware of how we're feeling we can be so so self-aware and you 330 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,900 talked about what you've noticed in yourself. 331 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,600 I'm like, oh yeah, tick right there. 332 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:08,300 But if we are triggered or stressed or depleted, we can 333 00:18:08,300 --> 00:18:12,700 have a Will Smith moment at the Oscars and unleash, right? 334 00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:18,700 All of our, our emotions can bubble up and out and we are not 335 00:18:18,900 --> 00:18:20,800 bringing our best self to a moment. 336 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:24,200 So a lot of what I do is based on a lot of self learning and in 337 00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:28,900 experimentation here on how to how to architect Our Lives. 338 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:33,200 But also how to define define boundaries and defend them with 339 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,500 Grace and it's a journey to figure out. 340 00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:38,200 How do we do that? It's more than words. 341 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,200 Its body posture. It's our own energy. 342 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,700 What are we putting out that? We are inviting back from 343 00:18:42,700 --> 00:18:44,500 others? So that's a whole thing. 344 00:18:44,700 --> 00:18:50,600 The last item in the in the four elements of the trait is D and 345 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:53,200 that's that's for depth of processing. 346 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:57,600 And that's talking about the fact that we deeply think about 347 00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,000 things. So I'm Wondering, like, if you, 348 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,900 if you watch a movie that happens to be emotionally 349 00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:06,100 compelling. Yes. 350 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,500 How do you feel after that movie? 351 00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:10,300 Are you like? Okay, let's just go catch. 352 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,100 Let's just go. Well, there's just like a ride, 353 00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:13,600 the Subway or? Well, let's go go-karting right 354 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:18,500 now or let's or you like me and you like I just I just move. 355 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:21,100 I need that needs to land with me for a little bit. 356 00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:23,400 I'm like processing it afterwards. 357 00:19:23,900 --> 00:19:26,800 You know, it's funny how you you bring that up as you as you were 358 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,800 going through the to ease the empathy. 359 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,700 The emotion. I thought about with one of the 360 00:19:31,700 --> 00:19:33,300 things that you said it triggered a thought and me. 361 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:35,000 Did you ever watch the show The Office? 362 00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:36,700 Yes. Okay. 363 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:41,100 So so I'll tell you this, there are moments in that show and I 364 00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:43,500 mean, that show is brilliant. And I mean, I know folks who 365 00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:46,000 worked on it and we, you know, we talk about this all the time. 366 00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:50,400 You talk about the manipulation of emotion and an awareness of 367 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:53,400 that, to me, that is a phenomenal example, to figure 368 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,800 out how sensitive you might actually be. 369 00:19:56,000 --> 00:20:00,500 There were moments in that show because that show took The the, 370 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:04,600 the emotion of awkwardness canned and many others as well. 371 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:07,500 Like, I mean, you know, as about how movie, you know, in the 372 00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:10,400 office, I would laughs bellowing laughter. 373 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,400 I would also cry during the sensitive moments, you know, 374 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:17,300 when Jim proposed to Pam or, you know, when Michael a proposed a 375 00:20:17,308 --> 00:20:20,800 holly that would that was unbelievable tears, you know, 376 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,800 and I'm in my 40s now. So, sometimes the Gillette 377 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:26,300 commercial make me cry, but but I think about awkward though 378 00:20:26,700 --> 00:20:31,900 because that show was Razorsharp about taking awkward situations 379 00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:34,300 and really, really punching at home. 380 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,300 There are some moments in that show. 381 00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:38,600 I literally have to fast forward. 382 00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:41,500 It's to cringe-worthy. It's so much. 383 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:45,600 I'm so cringing so much that it's overwhelming and and that 384 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:47,800 was one of the things that came into my mind as you were going 385 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:50,700 through the. He's so I really appreciate you 386 00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:52,600 bouncing that back asking me how I feel about a movie. 387 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:54,400 That was the thing that came to me right there. 388 00:20:55,300 --> 00:20:56,500 Yeah. Yeah. 389 00:20:56,500 --> 00:21:00,100 When I watch the holes that this is us That's a show about 390 00:21:00,100 --> 00:21:03,100 compassion. That's like every episode 391 00:21:03,100 --> 00:21:06,600 there's compassion after compassionate and I don't know 392 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:10,200 about you, but I have found my life being more and more full. 393 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,500 As I understand this more about myself. 394 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,200 I am playing spot the HSP now, which is kind of fun. 395 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:19,700 Oh my gosh, that's why I resonate so well, I feel so 396 00:21:19,700 --> 00:21:23,600 understood with this group. Oh my gosh, that artist is oh my 397 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:25,900 God. Clearly there HSP right. 398 00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:26,900 Alanis. Morissette. 399 00:21:26,900 --> 00:21:28,700 Is a fellow Canadian. Yeah. 400 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,200 He's out loud and proud about being HSP. 401 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,700 She's the subject of Elaine Aaron's first movie sensitive, 402 00:21:34,700 --> 00:21:36,900 the untold story. And so alaniz makes an 403 00:21:36,900 --> 00:21:40,900 appearance and I'm like, you know, and her writing is so 404 00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:43,800 wrong about emotion and experience, right? 405 00:21:43,900 --> 00:21:47,800 So, yeah, there's there's a lot of incredible talent to 406 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:51,900 celebrate that comes out of the creativity that comes out of 407 00:21:51,900 --> 00:21:54,800 that deep processing. I was on the show a couple weeks 408 00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:56,700 ago. I'm a big David Letterman guy 409 00:21:56,700 --> 00:22:00,300 and and so I've got some My circle who worked for the show 410 00:22:00,300 --> 00:22:03,000 and are part of improving his legacy and things and I was on 411 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,600 that show. We were talking about some of 412 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,900 the guests that were on a show and artists in particular and 413 00:22:08,900 --> 00:22:10,500 it's funny how I think about Kanye. 414 00:22:10,500 --> 00:22:14,600 I think Kanye's one that I think polarizes everybody for a 415 00:22:14,608 --> 00:22:18,000 variety of reasons. I took it off of him and I went 416 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:23,500 back to Prince and it's funny how we will take as much of the 417 00:22:23,500 --> 00:22:27,200 beautiful art from these people. Whether it is music, whether 418 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:31,600 it's a performance in a Movie. Whether it's art, that's on the 419 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,300 walls or on a display somewhere and we'll take as much as we 420 00:22:34,300 --> 00:22:40,400 possibly can, but the moment other behaviors show up many 421 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:43,300 times we try and reject that or try and control it and put them 422 00:22:43,300 --> 00:22:45,300 in a box. Well, if you want somebody to be 423 00:22:45,300 --> 00:22:49,500 that artistic and you want somebody to put out, you know, 424 00:22:49,500 --> 00:22:54,300 1999 or somebody put out Jesus Walks, you're also going to have 425 00:22:54,300 --> 00:22:57,300 to understand that there's other things that go on in these 426 00:22:57,300 --> 00:23:02,300 mines, these artists. Chains that might not be as 427 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:07,200 appealing but you're not going to get that art without that 428 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:12,800 depth of other feelings as well. We're complicated humans, you 429 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:16,100 know, there's a lot that's common between us, but we are 430 00:23:16,100 --> 00:23:21,200 complicated and we deserve to have hold on to that compassion 431 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:22,700 when we're thinking about others. 432 00:23:23,100 --> 00:23:26,900 I think even if somebody's doing terrible things. 433 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:30,800 Yeah, I think and I examined this in my own family. 434 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:35,800 I mean, I grew up and my parents had both grown up with very 435 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:40,100 displays of violence and tempers, and anger. 436 00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:44,100 Of course, processed it in their way, and I further processed it 437 00:23:44,500 --> 00:23:47,800 now, but to understand, and to look back on my dad, with 438 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:52,400 compassion, for what he went through to understand what he 439 00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:55,100 became, as ultimately, one of the most compassionate people. 440 00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:57,500 I know, but who had a wicked temper too? 441 00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:02,500 Yes, I know about that. My dad went on a journey between 442 00:24:02,500 --> 00:24:07,000 60 and 70 between 58 and 63. He went on a personal element 443 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,300 because he's gonna lose it. All because of his temper is 444 00:24:09,300 --> 00:24:10,300 gonna lose my mom. He's gonna lose. 445 00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:12,300 Everything. And the guy went through a 446 00:24:12,300 --> 00:24:14,800 journey of actually had him on this podcast where I've actually 447 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:18,500 been able to talk with my dad, now in his 70s about his journey 448 00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:20,400 from where he was to where he is now. 449 00:24:20,900 --> 00:24:25,500 And and and to me what you're talking about is so important 450 00:24:25,500 --> 00:24:29,500 right now because you know, I think you and I are both Gen-X 451 00:24:29,500 --> 00:24:33,200 and I think about how we were, you know, our generation in many 452 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:35,000 ways were the rebels. You think about the 453 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:39,000 flannel-wearing coffee house, drinking items on a listening 454 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,500 Nirvana, you know, like like Screw what the Baby Boomers told 455 00:24:42,500 --> 00:24:45,300 us. The lies that were told, we're 456 00:24:45,300 --> 00:24:48,200 going to make things differently and we had friends starting to 457 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:50,200 come out of the closet and doing all these things and living 458 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,700 their best life thinking that we were going to make the 459 00:24:52,700 --> 00:24:57,200 generation next behind us grateful, but that's not the 460 00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:59,100 case right now. Because the generations behind 461 00:24:59,100 --> 00:25:02,200 us are looking at what US and the Baby Boomers did and how we 462 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:05,600 lived and they're going. We're cancelling you. 463 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:09,700 Or we're going to talk about sensitivity in a different way 464 00:25:09,700 --> 00:25:13,300 where we're not going to take into consideration, the places 465 00:25:13,300 --> 00:25:16,400 that you've been and the things that you've gone through and the 466 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,500 the carving of the path through the jungle that you did. 467 00:25:19,500 --> 00:25:24,100 We're just going to bitch about the path not being up to the 468 00:25:24,100 --> 00:25:28,500 standard that we want it to be. And it's so ironic to see that 469 00:25:28,500 --> 00:25:32,600 the idea of Us coming together and actually being able to put 470 00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:35,500 ourselves in. Whoever it is, whether it's the 471 00:25:35,500 --> 00:25:38,600 Duck Dynasty guy or the Donald Donald Trump, for that matter. 472 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:42,500 Like, what is the what? The pathways that were created 473 00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:46,600 to make this behavior and that empathy, and that compassion 474 00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:50,700 that you're talking about is Paramount, especially today as 475 00:25:50,700 --> 00:25:54,700 far as I'm concerned. I really do think so. 476 00:25:54,700 --> 00:25:58,600 And one important point to make is actually that highly 477 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:03,200 sensitive people who developed from very stable, nurturing 478 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,500 secure relationship with their parents. 479 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:10,300 Yes, go on to perform incredibly insecure. 480 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:12,500 Society, they are very successful. 481 00:26:12,500 --> 00:26:15,900 They navigate relationships. Well, but if somebody's come 482 00:26:15,900 --> 00:26:20,700 through trauma, Boy, there's a lot of damage to do because we 483 00:26:20,700 --> 00:26:23,200 don't feel safe. And so we can't claim those 484 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:26,400 boundaries and that's where therapy is highly. 485 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:29,100 Highly recommended for highly sensitive. 486 00:26:29,100 --> 00:26:32,900 People that have had very difficult experiences growing up 487 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:37,000 and that work with therapy and and potentially coaching as 488 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:43,300 well, can help someone navigate to really then achieve that kind 489 00:26:43,300 --> 00:26:46,300 of Rich fulfilling life and navigating relationships. 490 00:26:46,300 --> 00:26:50,700 So well, at the secure children came through and I think it's 491 00:26:50,700 --> 00:26:54,200 important to look back. And just imagine, imagine a lot 492 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:57,500 of people at two and three years old, even even yourself, imagine 493 00:26:57,500 --> 00:26:59,200 yourself of your being rough on yourself. 494 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:03,200 If your inner critic is a beast. Imagine yourself at 3 years old 495 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:06,600 and carry that version of you through your day. 496 00:27:06,700 --> 00:27:11,300 Yes, and let the love flow because invitations of love and 497 00:27:11,300 --> 00:27:14,400 inclusion and compassion will be what invites, our best 498 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:17,000 performance. Not punitive talk. 499 00:27:17,700 --> 00:27:21,000 Diminishing who we are. Well, it goes back to the old 500 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:24,600 phrase, you know, two wrongs. Don't make a right, you know? 501 00:27:25,100 --> 00:27:28,600 Yeah, right, you know, violets violence, begets, begets, 502 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,900 violence. And at some point there's got to 503 00:27:30,908 --> 00:27:34,700 be an interrupter and I love, I love what you're talking about. 504 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:38,900 I'm a Brené Brown fan, you know, I think about the the stuff that 505 00:27:38,900 --> 00:27:43,100 she's she's actually made shame a topic that I want to read 506 00:27:43,100 --> 00:27:45,400 about. And you think about even the 507 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,800 word shame. It's like I want to Away from 508 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:52,500 that word and and the idea of sitting across from somebody who 509 00:27:52,500 --> 00:27:56,200 may be doing out, something that is exactly the opposite of how 510 00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:58,900 you feel. And and if you're able to kind 511 00:27:58,900 --> 00:28:02,200 of become aware in that moment and like you said, I'm just 512 00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:03,900 trying to put an exclamation point on what you said because 513 00:28:03,900 --> 00:28:06,000 it's so important. Clear and it's a technique that 514 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,200 anybody can use where somebody is spewing out stuff. 515 00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:13,900 If you imagine them as a baby you might even be able to 516 00:28:13,900 --> 00:28:17,200 imagine them. Going through trauma that they 517 00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:21,300 went through as a baby or a child to make them act the way 518 00:28:21,300 --> 00:28:24,100 that they're acting right now. It's literally like you're 519 00:28:24,100 --> 00:28:26,600 driving down the highway. The RPMs are really, really 520 00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:28,800 high. And suddenly, you realize, 521 00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:31,400 there's a fifth gear that you can go into a fifth gear of 522 00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:34,100 empathy and it takes all the pressure off and it takes the 523 00:28:34,100 --> 00:28:38,300 emotion. It takes the momentum of wanting 524 00:28:38,300 --> 00:28:41,900 to combat what they're saying. Right out of it, when you can 525 00:28:41,900 --> 00:28:43,900 empathize with somebody like that. 526 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:47,900 Superpower. Yeah, and I love Bernie as well. 527 00:28:47,900 --> 00:28:50,900 It's interesting, and in a recent podcast, she did with her 528 00:28:50,900 --> 00:28:53,700 sisters around her latest book. Atlas of the heart. 529 00:28:53,700 --> 00:28:57,800 She talks about being highly Vigilant as a child and I'm 530 00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:00,100 like, of course, my place bought the HSP. 531 00:29:00,100 --> 00:29:04,400 Yeah, and I'm like, wait a minute. 532 00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:08,300 So if you know anybody in Renee's staff, like hook me up. 533 00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:11,300 I would love to be in conversation with her. 534 00:29:11,300 --> 00:29:14,100 Because I think, you know what, Susan Cain's work in the book 535 00:29:14,100 --> 00:29:17,500 quite It, she brought the topic of conversation and of course, 536 00:29:17,500 --> 00:29:21,900 introversion to the table on that note, just as a thought for 537 00:29:21,900 --> 00:29:25,700 listeners, while it's split 50/50 men and women. 538 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:30,400 It's 70% introverts 30% extroverts in the highly 539 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:32,900 sensitive community. And so, it isn't just an 540 00:29:32,900 --> 00:29:36,300 interesting Nuance. You can be extroverted and be 541 00:29:36,300 --> 00:29:39,300 highly sensitive which presents a bit of a conundrum out there 542 00:29:39,300 --> 00:29:42,900 because you're, you're right. You're a people person. 543 00:29:42,900 --> 00:29:46,100 We are jamming right now. Now and I'm like, loved meeting 544 00:29:46,100 --> 00:29:50,700 from the second we connected on camera and you might still need 545 00:29:50,700 --> 00:29:52,700 a heck of a lot of downtime is like what's going on, Mike. 546 00:29:52,700 --> 00:29:54,500 Why aren't you like this 100% of the time? 547 00:29:55,100 --> 00:29:57,500 Only exactly a well, and, I mean, I know a lot of creatives 548 00:29:57,500 --> 00:29:59,900 in my life who are the exact same way. 549 00:29:59,900 --> 00:30:05,400 And when I am on, if you want to call it that I'm living my best 550 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:07,400 life. I'm exactly who I need to be. 551 00:30:08,100 --> 00:30:12,600 When I'm public speaking. I can, it's so weird to explain, 552 00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:15,500 but I can take the energy out and I can It back on people and 553 00:30:15,500 --> 00:30:17,300 it's an amazing experience doing this. 554 00:30:17,300 --> 00:30:21,900 Like I said, I could do five of these in a row, but the next day 555 00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:27,600 might be a Netflix in my boxers watching, you know old Letterman 556 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:31,200 clips on YouTube for four hours. You'll need to know demand 557 00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:32,500 charge right to get. Yeah. 558 00:30:32,500 --> 00:30:35,900 Absolutely. Yes, and I think a lot of 559 00:30:35,908 --> 00:30:38,600 creatives know about that and I think a lot of people who are 560 00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:42,400 creatives on the inside, but that doesn't manifest itself in 561 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:45,200 their daily life, unfortunately. Because they're doing all the 562 00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:48,700 things that are on the list and this is where people get things. 563 00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:52,900 Yeah, there's there's there's our cultural pressure to to 564 00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:56,200 hustle and get things done. And we measure success, by 565 00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:57,600 doing, not being. Yep. 566 00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,000 And to be creative. You got to have a whole lot of 567 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:04,900 being in mind, wandering for the essence of the work to come 568 00:31:04,900 --> 00:31:08,700 together and to come out. So our world does not get that. 569 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:13,000 And so, you know, I talk a lot to corporations about, you know, 570 00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:19,100 Designing the workday and the workspace so that we can invite 571 00:31:19,100 --> 00:31:22,200 the richest performance from everybody who's there? 572 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:26,500 Not just the people that are are the doers but the thinkers as 573 00:31:26,500 --> 00:31:28,200 well. So we need restrooms to be 574 00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:29,800 restrooms. For example, right? 575 00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:32,000 We need more of this embedded in our culture. 576 00:31:32,100 --> 00:31:36,400 I was talking to on the 6th episode of the podcast that I 577 00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:38,000 have going on around happy space. 578 00:31:38,100 --> 00:31:45,500 Yeah, I interview a professor of near of Neuroscience for ER and 579 00:31:45,500 --> 00:31:49,000 she's in São. Paulo, and she told me that she 580 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:53,900 was, she went out to a bench to go lie in the Sun and she was 581 00:31:53,900 --> 00:31:57,600 told by City staff that she was not allowed to lie on a bench. 582 00:31:57,900 --> 00:32:01,100 Oh, man. And so this is where you have. 583 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,700 You might have the design. You might have that nap room 584 00:32:03,700 --> 00:32:06,200 that quiet room where you can go rest and restore, but you might 585 00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,200 have a culture that says you loser. 586 00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,300 What are you going to that room for like, what's going on? 587 00:32:10,300 --> 00:32:12,700 Right? So we need this Evolution? 588 00:32:12,700 --> 00:32:15,400 That's what the happy space. Mint is really about to 589 00:32:15,408 --> 00:32:18,300 understand that as human animals. 590 00:32:18,700 --> 00:32:22,200 We need to look after our whole experience on our way of being 591 00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:25,000 and what we really need to sustain that energy and for 592 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,500 different people. It looks different. 593 00:32:26,500 --> 00:32:27,800 And we need to make room for that. 594 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:29,800 Oh my God, I love this conversation so much. 595 00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:31,500 I hate that time is going so quickly. 596 00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:34,000 I want to get, I want to get you some productivity stuff before 597 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:37,900 we because you know, it's a podcast aimed at men or people 598 00:32:37,900 --> 00:32:41,000 who want to understand men or people want to relate who want 599 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:45,800 to help the current situation of We're men are in our culture and 600 00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:50,400 and and, and that sort of thing. The idea of productivity is 601 00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:53,400 something that I think that too many men, its intrinsic. 602 00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:55,900 It is something that is genetically just in there. 603 00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:59,900 The idea of compartmentalizing and doing prioritizing things 604 00:32:59,900 --> 00:33:04,900 properly and in doing that I think speaks highly Too Many 605 00:33:04,900 --> 00:33:07,900 Men. Naturally, I want to talk about 606 00:33:07,900 --> 00:33:10,600 productivity and and how you have married. 607 00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:17,900 The idea of taking advantage of Sensitive Nature's and applying 608 00:33:17,900 --> 00:33:21,400 that with productivity and how you have applied that into your 609 00:33:21,900 --> 00:33:23,400 all your corporate gigs. I mean, you worked with 610 00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:26,300 companies like Facebook to all the TD Bank, one of these banks 611 00:33:26,300 --> 00:33:30,400 in the world and many many, many other groups, you know, I want 612 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:33,500 to talk about the idea of productivity and the mark You're 613 00:33:33,500 --> 00:33:35,400 making on the world when it comes to that word. 614 00:33:35,900 --> 00:33:38,800 Oh, thank you. I would say actually more than 615 00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:43,800 half of my clients are men now. So I am I'm thrilled to learn 616 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:46,500 what people are. And work with people and learn 617 00:33:46,500 --> 00:33:52,200 from them what their challenges are and it varies and I find it 618 00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:56,200 fascinating that there isn't a place to talk about some of 619 00:33:56,208 --> 00:34:00,400 these things because there is an expectation that it's naturally 620 00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:03,600 an 8 in this get things done energy is just is there right? 621 00:34:03,900 --> 00:34:07,400 But wait a second, but what about this, you know this 622 00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:10,600 construct I'll take one of my client examples right now. 623 00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:16,500 Lovely lovely, man. And Man also a conscientious 624 00:34:16,500 --> 00:34:21,600 contributor, really doing well in his career and progressing 625 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:25,199 but also realizing wait, how do I navigate this? 626 00:34:25,500 --> 00:34:28,000 I want to be showing up as a wonderful dad. 627 00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,500 I also need to show up as a leader at work. 628 00:34:30,500 --> 00:34:33,199 And what does that look like? And at the same, I want to have 629 00:34:33,199 --> 00:34:36,699 some time for myself. So, one example of something 630 00:34:36,699 --> 00:34:41,900 that I see repeatedly, is this concept of claiming back time at 631 00:34:41,900 --> 00:34:48,100 the end of the day. Using the phone with what we had 632 00:34:48,100 --> 00:34:51,199 sometimes been called Revenge bedtime procrastination. 633 00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:57,700 I think this is this is a nasty thing that I keep seeing show up 634 00:34:57,900 --> 00:35:00,800 when it's like you know what, I've given to my work. 635 00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:02,700 I've been present with my family. 636 00:35:02,700 --> 00:35:05,200 I just want some me time and heck. 637 00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:09,400 Yes, you need some me time, but let's break it down for a 638 00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:12,400 second. Let's look at how we honor Mind 639 00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:16,400 Body Spirit and our I was, and let's fundamentally understand 640 00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:19,900 what I call, our productivity table stakes, and I use like a 641 00:35:19,908 --> 00:35:22,300 poker analogy, right? You got the eight-sided. 642 00:35:22,300 --> 00:35:24,400 There's an imagined, an eight-sided, poker table. 643 00:35:24,700 --> 00:35:29,000 Okay, easily done, right? If you like gemstones, and my 644 00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:31,600 dad was a jewelry, man. He like gemstones. 645 00:35:31,700 --> 00:35:35,700 Imagine a cut Jewel and each of those eight sides is connected. 646 00:35:35,700 --> 00:35:38,300 The light is Flowing from one side to the other. 647 00:35:38,300 --> 00:35:39,400 There's eight different elements. 648 00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:44,000 Their sleep is one of them. If you sabotage your sleep, Your 649 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:48,500 borrow from tomorrow, right? We don't want that to happen. 650 00:35:48,900 --> 00:35:54,900 So, the decision you make at night, is the first impact on 651 00:35:54,900 --> 00:35:59,500 your day tomorrow, right? So, if we could get more clear 652 00:35:59,500 --> 00:36:01,300 about, gosh, I need some me time. 653 00:36:01,300 --> 00:36:05,300 Okay, what could that look like? So that you get the me time? 654 00:36:05,300 --> 00:36:09,000 I'm not about depriving a need. I'm about finding a way to do 655 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:10,800 it. That doesn't self-sabotage. 656 00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:13,600 Yes, how can you do that? What does it look like? 657 00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,900 Does it mean not using the phone or a specific app? 658 00:36:16,900 --> 00:36:20,600 Does it mean choosing to read a chapter of a book Which is far 659 00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:23,200 more finite and doesn't have intrusions that technology is 660 00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:26,000 designed. It's designed to say, give my 661 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:29,000 give me your brain Absalom notifications might come on. 662 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:31,900 You want that? Don't you know, right. 663 00:36:32,100 --> 00:36:35,600 So, how can you design your bedtime ritual? 664 00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:39,400 We put our kids to bed, right? I mean, tucking the kids and 665 00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:41,400 giving them a bath, reading him a story. 666 00:36:42,100 --> 00:36:43,600 How are you going to put yourself to bed? 667 00:36:43,700 --> 00:36:45,100 Ed. Yeah, how are you doing? 668 00:36:45,100 --> 00:36:50,200 Invite falling into Repose so that you're going to get. 669 00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:54,100 I'm going to say, you know, start with an assumption. 670 00:36:54,100 --> 00:36:57,200 You need seven and a half hours work from there to find it out 671 00:36:57,200 --> 00:36:58,500 of here. One of the people that needs 672 00:36:58,500 --> 00:37:01,700 nine hours, claim the sleep that you need. 673 00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,800 And then, oh my gosh, that's a beautiful foundation in those 674 00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:08,900 productivity table, Stakes to Anchor, your human animal 675 00:37:08,900 --> 00:37:11,300 showing up with the energy. It needs to get through the day 676 00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:15,400 and also make really A decisions all the way through that day. 677 00:37:15,500 --> 00:37:17,600 That's just one example. Oh my God. 678 00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:21,800 I I'm so attracted to your vocabulary and these ideas. 679 00:37:22,700 --> 00:37:24,200 They seem like water in the desert. 680 00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:27,700 They really do. I want to go deeper into that a 681 00:37:27,700 --> 00:37:32,100 little bit because I want to talk about how myself but also 682 00:37:32,100 --> 00:37:37,500 other men that I've talked to feel and and the idea of the 683 00:37:37,500 --> 00:37:40,600 night before and the preparation for the next day as well. 684 00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:43,900 I think is really really important versus the night 685 00:37:43,900 --> 00:37:47,700 before and having a nameless next day. 686 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,900 How what do you feel about? Where do you weigh in on the 687 00:37:50,900 --> 00:37:52,900 idea of knowing what it is? You're going to be doing the 688 00:37:52,900 --> 00:37:56,200 next day before you go to bed? Oh my gosh critical. 689 00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:59,600 I take I say critical. Okay critical and one word 690 00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:02,500 critical. I invite you to plan the 691 00:38:02,500 --> 00:38:05,700 upcoming week sometime before it hits. 692 00:38:05,700 --> 00:38:08,300 So sometime before Monday morning, whether it's Friday 693 00:38:08,300 --> 00:38:10,900 afternoon, and you want to check out for the weekend or it's a 694 00:38:10,908 --> 00:38:13,300 lot of leaders. I saw my career growing up was 695 00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:17,800 At Sunday, evening sometime before Monday, you plan your 696 00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:22,000 week and you scan the next. So then you'll be like, oh, 697 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:23,700 yeah. I've got a 3 hour presentation. 698 00:38:23,700 --> 00:38:25,500 I'm delivering on Wednesday of the end. 699 00:38:25,500 --> 00:38:27,600 You'll you'll have a sense of what's coming up. 700 00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:30,500 You're not going to be like getting luggage off the Canadian 701 00:38:30,500 --> 00:38:32,900 conveyor belt and it's all hitting you and nobody's taking 702 00:38:32,900 --> 00:38:36,100 the luggage off, right? That's so we plan the week and 703 00:38:36,100 --> 00:38:39,300 we scan the next. And what I need you to do is I 704 00:38:39,300 --> 00:38:43,600 need you to use a calendaring and scheduling system to help. 705 00:38:43,700 --> 00:38:47,800 Help the brain with this really abstract concept of time. 706 00:38:47,900 --> 00:38:50,000 Right? Like, you can't pin it down. 707 00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:54,300 Where a w wear a watch. I do have a Fitbit now and I'm 708 00:38:54,300 --> 00:38:59,300 the reason I sometimes wear it is when I want a trigger to pull 709 00:38:59,300 --> 00:39:01,800 my attention to something, not to say you have email, you have 710 00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:05,300 slack, you know, like check the things already exists. 711 00:39:06,300 --> 00:39:09,300 Right, right? Turn all the notifications off 712 00:39:09,300 --> 00:39:12,400 except for you have a podcast with Mike right now. 713 00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:15,100 And you need to show up on time being your best. 714 00:39:15,100 --> 00:39:18,300 Looking your best know. If you need a nap before, like, 715 00:39:18,300 --> 00:39:22,200 do what you need to do, to show up at your best and schedule in 716 00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:24,000 your calendar. I call it creating your own 717 00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:27,700 roadmap for the day. You need to have those anchors 718 00:39:27,700 --> 00:39:29,700 in your day. That are your commitments to 719 00:39:29,700 --> 00:39:32,000 yourself. So, it's your bedtime. 720 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:33,700 Perhaps, you have a bedtime alarm. 721 00:39:33,700 --> 00:39:35,600 You don't need a morning alarm. If you're getting enough. 722 00:39:35,700 --> 00:39:38,700 Sleep. So I don't 99% of days. 723 00:39:38,700 --> 00:39:41,000 I don't use an alarm. It's if I'm traveling somewhere 724 00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:45,300 and I've got an unearthly, the Earthly currently flying out of 725 00:39:45,308 --> 00:39:47,400 the ordinary, something out of the ordinary. 726 00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:50,800 Then I'll use a morning alarm. But otherwise, I set my life up. 727 00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:53,100 So and my cats help, you might have heard them in the 728 00:39:53,100 --> 00:39:55,300 background. My cat's helpful say, you know, 729 00:39:55,300 --> 00:39:59,800 our body clocks are telling us. So it's 7:00 in the morning is 730 00:39:59,900 --> 00:40:02,500 breakfast time. So I need to navigate and set my 731 00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:04,300 life up to know what I'm going to do. 732 00:40:04,300 --> 00:40:07,700 So I can also park my King and have a good sleep. 733 00:40:07,700 --> 00:40:10,700 I don't have to carry my, what's my to-do list tomorrow in my 734 00:40:10,700 --> 00:40:13,100 brain. I love, I love Park. 735 00:40:13,100 --> 00:40:15,300 You're thinking that's a very, very powerful thing. 736 00:40:15,300 --> 00:40:18,300 Like I'm a big fan of the conscious brain versus the 737 00:40:18,300 --> 00:40:21,700 subconscious brain. And, and you, and I right now, I 738 00:40:21,700 --> 00:40:23,700 love this analogy. I don't know where I heard it. 739 00:40:23,700 --> 00:40:26,300 I wish I could reference. Whoever said it to me because 740 00:40:26,300 --> 00:40:28,500 now I'm just kind of plagiarizing stuff that I but 741 00:40:28,500 --> 00:40:32,500 that's that's just podcast life. I guess the idea that like right 742 00:40:32,500 --> 00:40:36,300 now, you and I are interfacing right with the The, the 743 00:40:36,300 --> 00:40:38,900 conscious part of our technology, the computer, the 744 00:40:38,900 --> 00:40:42,600 conscious part, is the part that we see on the monitor, if we're 745 00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:45,000 doing spreadsheets, if you're writing emails, whatever, that's 746 00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:48,800 the conscious part, but in reality, there are tens of 747 00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:51,600 thousands of processes going on in the subconscious, part of the 748 00:40:51,607 --> 00:40:53,700 computer. That's where the computers 749 00:40:53,700 --> 00:40:57,100 really work in its ass off right now, even though what we're 750 00:40:57,100 --> 00:40:59,300 experiencing is, just the conscious part. 751 00:40:59,300 --> 00:41:02,900 Our brain is the same thing and and all of the things that 752 00:41:02,900 --> 00:41:07,900 you're talking about, use our Subconscious, as you you 753 00:41:07,900 --> 00:41:10,100 mentioned planning out your week little bit came knowing 754 00:41:10,100 --> 00:41:11,200 Wednesday. I got to go kill it at a 755 00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:13,500 presentation. If you give that a little bit of 756 00:41:13,500 --> 00:41:15,500 thought, a little bit of consideration, guess what? 757 00:41:15,500 --> 00:41:18,800 Your subconscious is going to be doing its thing. 758 00:41:19,100 --> 00:41:21,800 While you're eating breakfast while you're exercising. 759 00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:24,200 Well you're doing whatever it is that you're doing. 760 00:41:25,100 --> 00:41:29,000 And if you don't then you're just running on the surface. 761 00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:32,300 You're just running on the conscious mind, which is not 762 00:41:32,300 --> 00:41:35,100 nearly as effective as if you get your subconscious doing its 763 00:41:35,100 --> 00:41:36,200 thing at the same. Same time. 764 00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:39,500 Exactly. There's a friend of mine speaker 765 00:41:39,500 --> 00:41:41,200 as well. And she'll say, give your 766 00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:44,500 assistant a job to do. Ask your assistant to do 767 00:41:44,500 --> 00:41:46,900 something while you sleep there. You know, I'd like you to work 768 00:41:46,900 --> 00:41:49,500 on this presentation, not to worry about it. 769 00:41:49,900 --> 00:41:52,600 But to actually, I was talking about letting the back brain go. 770 00:41:52,700 --> 00:41:54,600 Yep. Just like it, like, plant a seed 771 00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:58,600 and let it, let it go there. So, yeah, and if you think about 772 00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:04,000 your work and separate planning from execution, that's if you 773 00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,700 know or even like let's say You're going to, you're going to 774 00:42:06,700 --> 00:42:09,200 reorganize the garage. Let's say yeah. 775 00:42:09,300 --> 00:42:11,500 Separate the planning from the execution. 776 00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:13,300 Oh my God, that's profound right there. 777 00:42:13,700 --> 00:42:15,200 Talk a little bit about that, please. 778 00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:18,600 Yeah, separate the two. Don't look at your garage on 779 00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:22,300 Saturday morning till I met Liz. Now, think about what you want 780 00:42:22,300 --> 00:42:24,500 to do. Think about the kinds of things 781 00:42:24,500 --> 00:42:26,500 that are in there. Think about the different zones. 782 00:42:26,500 --> 00:42:31,500 You want to create think about what might help make removing 783 00:42:31,500 --> 00:42:34,300 those items. Good like I'll arrange for a 784 00:42:34,300 --> 00:42:38,100 pickup. Of items to donate set it up. 785 00:42:38,100 --> 00:42:42,000 So that the, the recycling day, as she write the next day, like 786 00:42:42,100 --> 00:42:45,600 think about where this event is happening, when this event is 787 00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:49,100 happening, who can help it do all that with when your mental 788 00:42:49,100 --> 00:42:55,300 energy is really strong and your emotional energy execution have 789 00:42:55,300 --> 00:42:57,800 your roadmap and it's like Saturday morning. 790 00:42:57,800 --> 00:42:59,700 You've got the supplies you need. 791 00:42:59,700 --> 00:43:02,100 Now. You just need to knock it out if 792 00:43:02,100 --> 00:43:05,300 you try and mix the two. It's 1:00 on Saturday and you 793 00:43:05,300 --> 00:43:10,400 still Even got yourself going. So I'd say work, your pecs is 794 00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:13,900 what I say. It's like planning execution and 795 00:43:13,900 --> 00:43:15,700 then calibration. So if you're going to do 796 00:43:15,700 --> 00:43:19,500 something, repeatedly look back on it and say what could have 797 00:43:19,500 --> 00:43:23,000 been better note it down, put it in the planning for next time. 798 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,500 Pay yourself forward. So work work, your pecs. 799 00:43:25,900 --> 00:43:30,300 I adored this conversation. I hate how slippery time as I 800 00:43:30,300 --> 00:43:32,900 say it. Every episode time is Slippery. 801 00:43:33,300 --> 00:43:34,400 People are going to get tired of hearing. 802 00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:37,700 Me say that, but it's the truth. Ruth it does, I want to be 803 00:43:37,700 --> 00:43:41,800 sensitive to your time. But at the same time, this is 804 00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:44,600 the beginning of a relationship and that excites me. 805 00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:46,800 I know that our paths are going to cross more and more. 806 00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:51,600 Let us in our in our, in our viewers and listeners know where 807 00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:54,000 to find you. So happy space talk about talk 808 00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,000 about happy space. Please talk about that because 809 00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:59,400 this is an offshoot of the other things that you do from your 810 00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:02,200 corporate training to your coaching, and all of that. 811 00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:04,400 Then you're building this happy space movement. 812 00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:08,200 Please talk about That as we as we start to take her home. 813 00:44:08,700 --> 00:44:11,500 Oh, thank you. So yeah, everything I do 814 00:44:11,500 --> 00:44:14,000 speaking media work. I work with Brands. 815 00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:17,000 I did a TV segment this morning, which is why I'm fully made up 816 00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:20,600 for you today. So everything is a clear 817 00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:22,800 Kumar.com. If you're interested in that 818 00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:27,300 that full scope of what I do, but this is this happy space 819 00:44:27,300 --> 00:44:31,300 movement is really mixing personal and passionate 820 00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:35,300 professional passions together to invite that more. 821 00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:40,400 Underworld that we need so that people don't get marginalized in 822 00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:43,200 the workplace. The way I did, I was basically 823 00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:48,500 could not find a construct to work in 2008. 824 00:44:48,500 --> 00:44:51,300 I ended up tumbling down the stairs in 2007. 825 00:44:51,300 --> 00:44:54,200 And when at the very end of the of the year and just went, 826 00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:57,200 something's got to shift. I can't I can't sustain my 827 00:44:57,200 --> 00:45:00,300 energy for this anymore. So became an entrepreneur and 828 00:45:00,300 --> 00:45:04,000 this happy space movement. I invite you all to think of who 829 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:05,500 you know, who might be highly sensitive. 830 00:45:05,700 --> 00:45:09,100 Maybe it's, you come take the quiz, join the community, be 831 00:45:09,100 --> 00:45:11,100 part of the movement. I think there's a real 832 00:45:11,100 --> 00:45:12,900 opportunity to spread the word here. 833 00:45:12,900 --> 00:45:16,100 So people feel understood and be part of something. 834 00:45:16,500 --> 00:45:21,100 And then, if you're a leader, think about how you can have a 835 00:45:21,100 --> 00:45:24,600 more inclusive culture, to invite those sensitive people to 836 00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:27,800 thrive where you're above average performers, if we are 837 00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:31,300 given the opportunity and the right environment to shine. 838 00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:35,000 So, you know, right now it's kind of a golden moment and I 839 00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:38,500 really To be part of that and invite you to do the same, you 840 00:45:38,500 --> 00:45:42,500 know, I think about the idea of being generous and how the idea 841 00:45:42,500 --> 00:45:45,500 of being generous is. I've heard this many guy again, 842 00:45:46,100 --> 00:45:47,600 broken record. I heard this or Letterman 843 00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:50,000 actually talked about it. How being generous is actually a 844 00:45:50,008 --> 00:45:53,300 self-serving act because you feel so damn good about being 845 00:45:53,300 --> 00:45:56,700 generous. I feel like this is related to 846 00:45:56,700 --> 00:45:59,700 what you're talking about. If you are highly sensitive, if 847 00:45:59,700 --> 00:46:01,600 you have someone in your life that's highly sensitive. 848 00:46:02,300 --> 00:46:05,500 It behooves, you to help them hone that. 849 00:46:05,700 --> 00:46:07,300 Skill. If it's you you're going to 850 00:46:07,308 --> 00:46:09,700 perform better. If you're a leader and you have 851 00:46:09,700 --> 00:46:11,800 these folks that are in your, in your crew. 852 00:46:12,500 --> 00:46:15,500 If even if you're leading a family, whatever that is, these 853 00:46:15,500 --> 00:46:18,300 people are going to be more productive active. 854 00:46:18,300 --> 00:46:21,800 In fact, rising stars. In fact, the stars of the 855 00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:24,800 organization or group, whatever we're talking about, if we 856 00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:28,200 nurture that and I think with the hustle and bustle and the 857 00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:32,000 hustling that you talked about earlier, that is a very easy 858 00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:36,600 thing to put on the Wayside and and not Ora ties it because 859 00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:40,600 shits got to get done. And and the idea of making that 860 00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:43,600 a priority. In fact, the idea that you have 861 00:46:43,900 --> 00:46:46,900 a platform that has not only made that a priority, but 862 00:46:46,900 --> 00:46:52,800 simplified it enough that people can easily understand and 863 00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:56,700 translate some of these truths and then apply them to their 864 00:46:56,700 --> 00:46:58,900 lives. Well, it seems like you're you 865 00:46:58,900 --> 00:47:01,100 got to feel pretty good about yourself, Claire, because you're 866 00:47:01,100 --> 00:47:03,700 being pretty generous and how you're improving the world. 867 00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:06,800 Oh, thank you know, the best. Gets to get a message from 868 00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:10,100 someone who's feel touched by the message, like, you do. 869 00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:12,100 I'm sure you experience. I got one this morning. 870 00:47:12,100 --> 00:47:15,600 Thank you for the work that you do and that if nothing like it 871 00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:16,600 wasn't he will. I don't know. 872 00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:19,200 What is that is that just keeps me going? 873 00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:23,100 And and yeah, so I'd my fundamental belief is everyone 874 00:47:23,100 --> 00:47:27,200 deserves a happy space. So oh everyone deserves a happy 875 00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:28,500 space. We're going to finish it there. 876 00:47:29,100 --> 00:47:32,500 Claire. Clarefun22 are KU M. 877 00:47:32,500 --> 00:47:34,600 AR. Yeah, I don't.com. 878 00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:38,400 No third eye. Hi-yah and Kumar isn't Harold. 879 00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:44,600 And so then it's easy. You are delightful and and and 880 00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:47,200 you are also info tastic. And if you know me, that's one 881 00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:50,900 of the most terrible guy, somebody who was info, tastic is 882 00:47:50,900 --> 00:47:53,100 it's one of the highest compliments that I can give. 883 00:47:53,500 --> 00:47:57,800 I can't wait to see how our paths cross more, how happy 884 00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:00,300 space and he changed it crossed paths more. 885 00:48:00,500 --> 00:48:05,100 If you have content and you want us to display it and give 886 00:48:05,100 --> 00:48:06,300 portals. How to get there. 887 00:48:06,300 --> 00:48:09,800 We're going to do that, by the way. 888 00:48:09,900 --> 00:48:12,800 When we started this thing, thank you for talking about what 889 00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:14,200 Kandi and her team are doing that. 890 00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:18,100 He changed it. It's as Kandi likes to say, you 891 00:48:18,100 --> 00:48:19,500 know, because I mean, it's startup life, right? 892 00:48:19,500 --> 00:48:23,100 And you know all about startup life, you know, it's not 893 00:48:23,100 --> 00:48:25,600 necessarily low-hanging fruit, but there's Orchards and 894 00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:28,500 Orchards and Orchards of it. And I just want to say thank you 895 00:48:28,500 --> 00:48:29,800 for the encouraging things that you said about. 896 00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:34,100 He changed it as well. My great pleasure to, to connect 897 00:48:34,100 --> 00:48:36,300 with you. And just yeah, let's ride 898 00:48:36,300 --> 00:48:38,300 alongside each other and make stuff happen. 899 00:48:38,600 --> 00:48:41,800 Can't wait. They go by so quickly again. 900 00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:44,700 I say that every episode but it's the damn truth. 901 00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:47,400 We are so excited about the movement. 902 00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:50,300 That is he changed it. And all of the arms that were 903 00:48:50,300 --> 00:48:54,500 linking in that process. I'm grateful for you every 904 00:48:54,500 --> 00:48:56,300 single viewer, every single listener. 905 00:48:56,500 --> 00:48:59,400 Whether you're on the YouTubes are on your whatever your 906 00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:03,900 podcast, persuasion application. Is, thank you very much for 907 00:49:03,900 --> 00:49:06,600 giving us a chance to take your attention. 908 00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:09,900 Even for a little while. Here again, if you haven't 909 00:49:09,900 --> 00:49:12,100 downloaded, he changed it or, you know, somebody that needs to 910 00:49:12,107 --> 00:49:13,500 download. He changed it. 911 00:49:13,700 --> 00:49:15,700 Come be. An early adopter downloaded were 912 00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:19,800 in both the apple and the Android stores just search he 913 00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:23,000 changed it. You will find the he app and 914 00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:26,000 yeah, like And subscribe to podcast and let's improve some 915 00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:28,800 people's lives together. That's it. 916 00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:31,300 That's another episode of he cast the official. 917 00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:35,200 Podcast of he changed it. My name is Mike Chisholm go 918 00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:36,000 change. Something.