1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:03,440 Welcome to ECAST, the official podcast of He Changed it. 2 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:05,680 As always, I am Mike Chisholm. As always, I'm excited to have 3 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:07,920 conversations around the world of men's mental Wellness. 4 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:10,200 Now today we got a guy and I appreciate him. 5 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:11,840 His name is Doctor Carrie Heller. 6 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,960 Yes, doctor, Doctor of what? He's a psychologist. 7 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,280 And not only a psychologist, he's also a coach. 8 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:19,200 And I love that he's an executive coach as well. 9 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:21,160 And what does he coach people on? 10 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:24,880 Well, he coaches people on something that you might not 11 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:28,400 think is a sexy subject. It's time management. 12 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:33,080 But boy, do we ever do a deep dive on how powerful time 13 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:36,120 management is in our lives. He's AI would I would call him 14 00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:37,440 an expert. I don't know if he'd call him an 15 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:39,960 expert. Mike says that doctor Carrie 16 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:45,480 Eller is an expert on ADHD and other and other things that can 17 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:50,000 affect people's time management. And we go through what a very 18 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:53,440 seemingly simple skill. And it is a simple skill, what 19 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:57,400 it can mean to people. Things like anxiety, depression, 20 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:03,200 family life, income potential, time management has a massive, 21 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:07,000 massive factor in these things for people. 22 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:09,680 If you're one of those people that procrastinates, can we show 23 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,840 you ways to practically get out of that habit? 24 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,840 Yes, we can. And Carrie is so good at this. 25 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:21,280 He's really, really thoughtful to the point, very, very easy to 26 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:25,800 understand and I just really have a fun conversation with 27 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:26,880 him. He's got some resources. 28 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:29,640 You can go to hellerpsychologygroup.com and 29 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:31,760 you can look at some of the courses that he has, you know, 30 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:36,280 $5.10 dollars, $15 courses that he has to help people get into a 31 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:38,800 better spot. And, and really isn't that what 32 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:40,760 it's all about? So thank you very much for 33 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:43,600 taking time to come here and listen to my conversation or 34 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:46,800 watch my conversation with Doctor Carrie Heller. 35 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:04,400 OK, Doctor Carrie Heller. Carrie, I'm so excited that you 36 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:07,280 have taken time out of your schedule to come on to he cast 37 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:08,840 today. There's a whole bunch of 38 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:11,080 questions that I have for you today. 39 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,680 I yeah, I just, First off, how long have you been a 40 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:17,360 psychologist? Ask me a question I guess. 41 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:19,040 Let me think for a SEC. I guess it's probably means it's 42 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:20,280 been a while since I have to count. 43 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,320 I. Think about 15 years now. 44 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:29,280 Yeah, before, before we kind of get into where you've kind of 45 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:32,360 specialized in, in some of the areas of of of interest that you 46 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:36,840 have done such an amazing job helping people to kind of deal 47 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:39,640 with. What's different about it than 48 00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:41,640 you thought it was going to be when you thought you were going 49 00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:44,840 to, you know, you were going to go into the into the the science 50 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:47,960 of of the mind and helping, you know, people understand maybe 51 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:52,640 themselves and how they think. How did you perceive the career 52 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:55,320 was going to be and what has been different about it that 53 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:57,280 what surprised you about it actually doing it after this 54 00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:58,640 time? I mean, so I anticipated the 55 00:02:58,640 --> 00:03:01,400 career involving a lot with talking to people certainly and 56 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,640 you know, helping them to sort of thrive and do better with 57 00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:05,200 things. I think what I don't think I 58 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:09,840 realized in terms of like where it's sort of shifted was sort of 59 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,960 the the focus, you know, with adults on, you know, time 60 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,440 management, organization, how vital role that plays in mental 61 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:18,320 health and in general and how much like a hands on approach I 62 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:20,480 and sort of taking with clients and working on those things and, 63 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:23,560 you know, safety with kids too. So I think there's that piece of 64 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:26,640 it, you know, I think education both for kids, well as adults in 65 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:29,880 college or in Graduate School, you know, the idea of just how 66 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:32,560 much, you know, certainly education has changed over time, 67 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:35,920 but also just how vital all the skill skills are and how much 68 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:37,840 the time management really connects with anxiety, 69 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:41,520 depression, certainly ADC and variety of others, OCD and 70 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,280 almost pretty much any mental health disorder. 71 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:45,200 And just the all this stuff connects. 72 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:47,560 And if you can't sort of get stuff done effectively, it 73 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:51,320 really throws things off. I want to put an exclamation 74 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:55,400 point on what you just said. Time management, an organization 75 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:59,600 contributes to anxiety, depression, some of these things 76 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,280 that we don't like. That is, I can understand why 77 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:03,600 that would be surprising for you. 78 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:08,400 That's, that seems like a very simple, you know, a simple 79 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:11,000 ideal, something that we all go through all of the time. 80 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:14,320 I, I think whenever I use the word procrastination, I get 81 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,120 people always going, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. 82 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,200 Like, like it seems like a lot of people deal with it. 83 00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:20,560 It also seems like they deal with it for different reasons. 84 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:24,120 So that's fascinating to me. And clearly, you know, you've, 85 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:26,720 you've, you've made it a focal point of what it is that you do, 86 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,920 the courses that you've created things like that time 87 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:33,120 management. Yet who knew how big of a silver 88 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:35,160 bullet that might be when it comes to our overall mental 89 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:37,080 health? Yeah, no, definitely. 90 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,640 And actually, I think it's, I think part of it is a lot of 91 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:40,120 people don't take that time to take a step back. 92 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:42,520 They just go with your life. They try to get stuff done. 93 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:44,400 If they're really struggling, they might think about it here 94 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:46,600 and there, but they're often so desperate to get things done, 95 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:48,720 they don't take that step back to figure out, is my system even 96 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:51,960 working? You know, or if they're working 97 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,840 OK, but it's not working as well as it could be. 98 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,120 Taking that step back to figure out how can I make it better? 99 00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:01,560 Well, I think, I think also, you know, the part where we don't 100 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:03,840 even take the time to take that step back. 101 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:05,760 We don't we're just literally going from situation to 102 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:07,320 situation and encountering things. 103 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:10,680 And then as you know, deadlines pop up, that's when we sort of 104 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:15,880 pop up and and and move forward. Now you link that to a buzzword. 105 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,000 I mean, we talk on this show many times about how there 106 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,320 there's so many Co opted words that are that are out there 107 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,440 right now that they become buzzwords and and really at the 108 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,960 end of the day, have different meanings to different people. 109 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:30,720 You know, trauma is one that's a good example of 1, you know, but 110 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:33,480 but another one. And I'm fascinated to talk to 111 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:35,320 you about this today. And I'm glad that we're talking 112 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:38,120 to an actual psychologist about it as opposed to coaches and 113 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,320 stuff. And I love I love them. 114 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:43,840 And you have coaching as part of your a practice, which I want to 115 00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:46,760 talk about because you, you combine the two many times you 116 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:49,280 find somebody is 1 or somebody is the other. 117 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,240 You've got actually kind of got both in what you do. 118 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:52,520 So I'm fascinated to talk about that. 119 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:56,600 But the buzzword, of course, being ADHD and, and, and I mean, 120 00:05:56,600 --> 00:06:00,240 I can't tell you how many people in my life, both professionally 121 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:02,760 and personally, people have said to me, Oh yeah, I've got, I've 122 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,360 got a little ADHD. I've got a lot of ADHD. 123 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:08,360 Almost like it's a spectrum or I've been fully diagnosed with 124 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:11,680 ADHD and it's causing this and that and this and that and this 125 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:13,800 and that in my life. And it's like people have 126 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,480 completely different definitions of it. 127 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:19,680 I think back to when we were kids, when I was a kid. 128 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,920 Anyway, I'm 50 years old at the time of this broadcast, You 129 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:26,560 know, it didn't even exist. The, the, you know, you, you 130 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,240 heard of every once in a while you heard a kid who was on 131 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:31,200 Ritalin to calm them down or whatever, but that diagnosis 132 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:34,280 really wasn't there. And I think about you and how 133 00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:39,160 long you've been doing this, ADHD has risen up and the, the, 134 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:43,160 the, the level of knowledge that we have about it has gone up 135 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:49,200 exponentially since you started. Where was ADHD on your spectrum 136 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,040 of knowledge when you first started? 137 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:52,960 And has you, have you just seen it grow and grow and grow? 138 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:54,440 And that's why you've kind of moved into that. 139 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,200 I, I mean, I've definitely seen it. 140 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,400 I think I've seen it grow in terms of people becoming more 141 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:02,160 and more aware of it, which I think is helped. 142 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,960 I think the other big thing is I think a long time ago there's 143 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:08,320 often this idea of, you know, a child or an adult has eighty. 144 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:10,800 Well, first of all, a long time people didn't realize that it 145 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:12,080 actually extended into adulthood. 146 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:13,800 I think there used to be this thought that it you sort of 147 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,480 outgrew it, which for the most part is not usually true, but 148 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:18,440 you know, the symptoms kind of change in adulthood. 149 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:21,000 But I think in terms of the way like with treatment, for 150 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,720 example, a lot of it used to be the focus on, you know, a child 151 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:25,720 is ADHD, you get the medicine and that's it. 152 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,400 What I think what often kind of got missed in that is that 153 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,840 there's a lot of other pieces to it, both directly with ADHD and 154 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:34,120 just sort of secondary things like self esteem and other stuff 155 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:37,720 that really gets impacted if you don't use behavioral strategies 156 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,760 to also support kids. ADHD. 157 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,920 Usually medication alone for the most part is not not enough to 158 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:44,520 sort of really help them to fully thrive. 159 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:46,800 Because the other part is medication is not going to 160 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,800 magically give you executive function skill, which are 161 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,920 basically an umbrella term used for time management, 162 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,720 organization, planning, test initiation, getting things done. 163 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:57,400 And so that's where, you know, practical strategies, whether 164 00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:59,680 whether it's some sort of therapy or coaching, you know, 165 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:03,320 really helped helps people to be able to thrive with HD because 166 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,880 just because you can focus better isn't going to magically 167 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:08,400 fix all the other aspects of how it HD impacts people. 168 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:14,080 OK, you are on the right show with the right audience today. 169 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,160 I'm super excited with what you just said. 170 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:19,720 I want to start unpacking some of it and, and, and, and so 171 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,560 let's talk a little bit about the idea of time match. 172 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:25,520 I want to get into what ADHD is in a second here, but the idea 173 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:28,120 that there's a couple of things that I want to talk about today 174 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:31,280 with you, because I, you know, I think you are such a wealth of 175 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:36,280 knowledge when it comes to showing people simple ways to 176 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:39,919 drastically improve your life. And, and it's one of those 177 00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:41,840 things where there are things that are, they're easy to do and 178 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:44,560 they're easy not to do. And, and, and, and it's, it's, 179 00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:46,480 which is great. You know, it's super great 180 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:49,800 because if somebody does want to jump start where they're at and 181 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:52,720 give themselves some momentum moving forward, it's something 182 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:56,680 that's really simple and easy to do, but it's also something too 183 00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:59,080 easy to avoid. And, and I want to get into that 184 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,360 when it comes to the organization, the time 185 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:02,240 management. First off, you agree with that 186 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:04,200 statement, right? Oh, yeah, no, definitely. 187 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:06,400 I mean, I think a common reaction to what I work is this 188 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:08,560 idea of, oh, these are actually fairly simple things. 189 00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:11,560 I never really fully thought about it this way or you know, 190 00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:14,520 because again, like what I often tell people is it's not a magic, 191 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,840 there's not one magic fix. It's not like a bunch of fancy 192 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:19,680 strategies. It's often, you know, fairly 193 00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:22,040 sort of, or at least to me, they often seem fairly simple. 194 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:24,240 But in general, it's the idea that it's like, I mean, even 195 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:27,560 just as one example, like using like when people like ask me 196 00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:29,920 what apps and stuff and things like that do I recommend? 197 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,440 If someone asked me about a calendar app, probably the most 198 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,440 common ones I'd recommend would be Google Calendar and Apple 199 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,160 Calendar, which are standard on people's devices. 200 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,160 It's not some, you know, super fancy extravagant calendar app 201 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,200 that doesn't really different things. 202 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,840 It's often the simplest things that use the right way can make 203 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:48,640 a big difference. There you go many times we 204 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:51,520 reinvent the wheel with the new shiny thing when really at the 205 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:53,240 end of the day, we just need to get the wheel that we have 206 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:56,800 turning and so, so, So let's go back to the ADHD thing for a 207 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:59,440 second. Now let's can we define what 208 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:04,440 ADHD is and and and and what the from a clinical perspective. 209 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:08,240 In your mind, what is ADHD and how many people do you think out 210 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:11,520 there are affected by it? Sure. 211 00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:15,760 I mean, so in terms of what ADHD is, I mean the DSM 5 TR, which 212 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:18,200 is the book that's used has a criteria for various mental 213 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,360 health disorders. It's classified as just called a 214 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:22,720 neurodevelopmental disorder, basically means that it starts 215 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:25,160 in in childhood. So Tenley, based on criteria, 216 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:27,760 you have to have some sort of symptoms prior to age 12. 217 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:30,920 I mean, again, people with with that are adults can still be 218 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:33,200 diagnosed with first MTHD. The idea though is suddenly, if 219 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,520 you look back and get through history, the idea is that there 220 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:38,040 are symptoms that you saw looking back on your experiences 221 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:39,680 of childhood if you're an adult being diagnosed. 222 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:43,000 But basically it's essentially a disorder of of self regulation 223 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:44,880 or a challenges of self regulation. 224 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:48,000 So challenges with regulating your attention because people 225 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,480 with ADHD can focus pretty well on things that they generally 226 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,360 enjoy. Overall, it's really the things 227 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:55,040 that you don't really enjoy doing that are extremely hard to 228 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:58,640 focus on, which I think is also why I think sometimes, you know, 229 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:00,680 there's a lot of misconceptions about AHD and sort of 230 00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:02,640 frustrations and feeling, oh, you just need to focus better, 231 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:05,800 like better, you know, the idea that I think sometimes it, that 232 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,720 itself makes it hard for people sometimes to really understand 233 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:12,080 how much it impacts someone. And there's also, so there's 234 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,720 Asia itself, but there's, I mean, there's what's called 235 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,160 combined presentation, which basically means you have 236 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:19,600 sniffing issues with attention as well as hyperactivity, 237 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:23,440 impulsivity, hyperactivity are things like excessive movement, 238 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:24,760 like having a hard time sitting still. 239 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:27,440 So the person that shakes their legs or fiddles with stuff, you 240 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:30,080 know, kind of where you think about fidgets, where those kind 241 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:33,160 of came into play, you know, or the fidget spinner, which I 242 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:36,080 think was very well mismarketed because I think it's meant for 243 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:37,680 anxiety because it's quite distracting. 244 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:40,960 I, I, and I can, you know, if you want to ask me later, I 245 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,560 mean, I'm AI, you know, I spend a lot, I focus a lot on, on 246 00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:46,000 stuff with fidgeting and all sorts of like strategies and 247 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,680 tools and things I can show you. So definitely, if you want more 248 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:50,400 of a, just let me know later. I can definitely talk a lot 249 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,400 about that as well. Absolutely. 250 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,720 But, but I think the idea, but it's basically the idea you get 251 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:57,840 to also the impulsivity. So basically some people have 252 00:11:57,840 --> 00:12:00,040 the attention hyperactivity and impulsivity. 253 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:03,720 So doing things without thinking, you know, saying 254 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:05,240 things without thinking, you know, which definitely can 255 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:07,080 impact a lot of things with with relationships. 256 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:09,760 So some people have kind of all three of those, some just have 257 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:11,840 the attention piece. Technically someone could 258 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:15,080 primarily have the impulsivity and hyperactivity part without 259 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:17,080 the attention. Like I mean anecdotally I don't 260 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:20,600 see that very much, but it is a some type of ADHD basically 261 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:24,360 also. OK, so is it actually chemical? 262 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:27,160 Is it, is it a chemical thing like, like, because I mean, I, I 263 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:30,640 look at some of the, the medications that are out there 264 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:33,520 and things like that, those to me seem to be things that treat 265 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:36,040 the symptom. But is there an actual chemical 266 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:37,680 reaction in the brain that causes it? 267 00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:40,000 Or is it an environmental behavioral type thing? 268 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,200 Do we know the answer to that yet? 269 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:43,040 Sure. I mean, generally though, the 270 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:45,960 science sort of indicates that's a, you know, it has a biological 271 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:48,840 cause in the brain. The the thing though, is that, 272 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:52,400 you know, but I think that the symptoms can be brought out more 273 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:55,400 based on the environment because, you know, one reason 274 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,880 that, you know, you know, for kids, sometimes it can be hard. 275 00:12:57,880 --> 00:12:59,560 I mean, the symptoms do change a little bit as you get older, 276 00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:01,360 like the hyperactivity piece tends to lessen. 277 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:04,160 But you know, if you think about a child, there's less, you have 278 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,040 less control over your environment as a kid in terms 279 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:07,800 of, you know, there are only so many different sort of types of 280 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:10,200 schools and things like that. Whereas adulthood you get to 281 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,480 pick, you have more options, potentially pick a career that 282 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:15,160 fits better with your skill sets and limits some of the 283 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:16,720 challenges you may have with ADHD. 284 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:19,440 And so I think that so that's one reason where sometimes the 285 00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:22,040 symptoms aren't always as noticeable, at least in like the 286 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:24,880 very, you know, outwardly ways in, in in adulthood. 287 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,800 But again, I think even if someone has ADHD that's well 288 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:31,000 controlled, you know, I think there's, I think there's, I 289 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,720 think it's still hard to completely function, you know, 290 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:35,480 fine. Also, I think like there's 291 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,680 little things I think that can pop up here and there as well, 292 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:41,560 even if you have a very well controlled, but you know, I, I 293 00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:44,280 think certainly that there, there's a lot, a lot to it, but 294 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:47,120 I think it's also about finding the right strategies and tools 295 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:49,840 and comprehensive support systems to, to thrive with it. 296 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,360 Yeah, well, and I like the, I like how you said that. 297 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:55,520 I love how you said you can thrive with it because there are 298 00:13:55,520 --> 00:14:00,360 some that would look at the, the attributes of ADHD and they 299 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:01,960 would look at it as a superpower almost. 300 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:04,960 They, they would say, OK, well, if I can just lean into the 301 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:08,120 things where I can zoom in and focus on and then, you know, 302 00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:10,320 time you get into almost a flow state. 303 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,760 You know, I, I, if, if somebody's interested in 304 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,680 writing, for example, sometimes I, I've, I've met people who 305 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:20,040 have, you know, ADHD and yet they can write for hours and 306 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:22,600 hours and hours on end. They just may have to do it with 307 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,800 the stereo playing or, or something like that. 308 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:29,160 You know, it's, it's, it's, it's interesting to me how, you know, 309 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:32,680 so many people think of it as maybe, perhaps you know, well, 310 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:36,320 the word deficits even, you know, in, in, in the, in the, in 311 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:38,920 the term, they would see it almost as a negative. 312 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:42,680 But it really can be used as a positive if aimed in the right 313 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,560 direction, can't it? Yeah. 314 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:48,240 I mean, I think I would probably caveat that with the idea that I 315 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:50,280 think aspects of it could be used as a positive. 316 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:52,880 But I think it's, I think I wouldn't draw the like go quite 317 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:55,520 so far to say like it as a whole can all be positive. 318 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,160 Like I think that it's a a mix of sort of finding the positive 319 00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:01,600 traits you get from the ADHD and using that, but at the same time 320 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,440 finding the right supports and interventions to support the 321 00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:06,960 areas that you struggle with so that overall you can thrive. 322 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:11,440 That is a very measured response and I appreciate that response 323 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:14,560 very, very much so. So the idea of now let's let's 324 00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:16,400 marry the two concepts again, Let's go back to the time 325 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:18,080 management, the organizational skills. 326 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:22,320 Is, is ADHD one of those things where it's on a spectrum or are 327 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:26,520 there people out there who just happen to have some of the same 328 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:30,120 sort of effects where, you know, I think we live in a society. 329 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:31,520 Oh, that's the other question I want to ask you too. 330 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:35,640 We live in a society where impulse seems to be winning the 331 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,120 day in many responses. You look at what the top social 332 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:40,040 media app in the world is. And I don't even have, I don't 333 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,960 have TikTok, but I see people who are on TikTok. 334 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:47,920 And I mean, the quick, it's all so quick and, and, and we're 335 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,280 scrolling through things very, very, very, very quickly now. 336 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,680 And you look at, you know, even where algorithms are going when 337 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:55,240 it comes to things like YouTube and what I'm the guy that loves 338 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,160 a long form conversation very, very much. 339 00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,600 But I keep getting told strategically, you need to take, 340 00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:03,880 you know, 9 to 29 second clips and put it out there and, and, 341 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,320 and do all these things because of the algorithm. 342 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:08,200 And that's that the algorithm is head by fed by our human nature, 343 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,320 you know, and then there are people who are saying, well, I'm 344 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:14,000 ADHD. Well, are we ADHD or are we 345 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:18,240 learning and and and and conditioning ourselves to what 346 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,960 the environment is feeding us every single day? 347 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,000 Yeah. Well, and I think what you're 348 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:26,080 kind of getting at is this idea that, you know, basically your 349 00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:29,080 your brain sort of craves dopamine in a sense. 350 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:30,920 And basically the idea is that if you're constantly watching 351 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:33,120 these short form videos, you're kind of training yourself in a 352 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,240 way to want that instant gratification of it. 353 00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:38,760 So, you know, just because someone watches a bunch of, you 354 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:40,600 know, so on social media doesn't mean they need HD. 355 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,200 But but what it does mean is that certainly over time, if you 356 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,280 keep doing that, you're going to train yourself more to kind of 357 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,680 expect the instant response, which can then sometimes make it 358 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,800 hard to get tasks done because they're not. 359 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,640 You don't get the same reward you get from, you know, going to 360 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:55,520 take out the trash that you do from, you know, sitting watching 361 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:57,680 a bunch of really short videos on TikTok or Instagram or 362 00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:00,360 something. Yeah, well, and I mean, I like 363 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:04,760 I've seen it happen in, in, in younger people in my around my 364 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:08,040 circle where where it seems to be almost altering their 365 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,280 behavior a little bit. It almost seems to be like like 366 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:13,680 again, once they're in the once they're in the feed for a while, 367 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:16,800 their behavior outside of the feed will also sort of imitate 368 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:20,200 that, you know, you know, short attention span and things like 369 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:21,400 that. And I just wonder if that's 370 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,560 related at all or not. I appreciate. 371 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:27,960 Itself, yeah, it doesn't, you know, itself cause ADHD, but 372 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,800 certainly you can, you know, create some sort of symptoms 373 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,600 that probably could mimic aspects of it. 374 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:37,880 Either way, procrastination and not being able to focus on 375 00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:41,600 things and what not really puts us in a situation where it can 376 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,560 affect our lives. And that's what I want to talk 377 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:47,040 to you about here today because you have really done a deep dive 378 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:50,760 and created some very simple resources for people. 379 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:52,560 There are going to be guys who are listening to this. 380 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:55,200 Were they themselves or maybe they're, perhaps they're the 381 00:17:55,200 --> 00:18:00,080 parent of a child, you know, who isn't perhaps being as effective 382 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,000 as they possibly could. One of the things I love about 383 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:06,320 the stuff that you have made is it's incredibly simple and, and, 384 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:12,280 and the, the barrier seems to be procrastination in stopping the 385 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:15,280 procrastination. And I, I want to talk to you 386 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:17,760 about that and talk about some very simple things that people 387 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:21,200 can do to make drastic improvements to their lives and, 388 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,360 and, and, and start creating momentum for themselves. 389 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:25,280 Would you say time management is the top of the list? 390 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:28,520 Yeah, I think definitely, I mean it depends on each person's, you 391 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:30,360 know, where they're struggling because I can't think. 392 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:34,080 But in general, I would say for, you know, the average person 393 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,760 who's having a hard time getting things done is overwhelmed, 394 00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:40,440 Maybe they're anxious. You know, usually starting with 395 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:43,280 like how can you work on kind of the organization to get things 396 00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:45,800 done can be a good. I think it's a really good start 397 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,000 starting point because I think the hard, the thing with it is 398 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:51,520 that basically if you know, if you have so much going on in 399 00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:54,360 your head and you have no way of actually organizing yourself to, 400 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:56,920 to know what you even need to do in the 1st place, it's going to 401 00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:57,960 be much harder to get anything done. 402 00:18:57,960 --> 00:18:59,720 And then you're just going to be kind of a perpetual state of 403 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:04,240 feeling overwhelmed, probably. Overwhelmed was a huge one. 404 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:07,640 And and and and when somebody's overwhelmed many times that can 405 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,760 feed procrastination, can't it? Yeah, no, exactly. 406 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:12,960 I think that can feed it. You know, I think on the other 407 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:15,760 hand, you also get people that, you know, trying to use a bunch 408 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:17,760 of different apps and things like that, but don't really know 409 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:20,800 what they're doing with it and then get discouraged if nothing 410 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:23,080 works. Because, you know, I think the 411 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:25,560 lots of apps out there that are really good for keeping track of 412 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:28,200 tasks and things like that. But often it's more about how 413 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,040 you have to use the app. That probably becomes more 414 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:32,440 relevant in some ways than than than app itself. 415 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,280 Yeah, we cheat. We keep chasing the new shiny 416 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:37,920 thing, don't we? Thinking the shiny thing is 417 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:39,080 going to solve the problem. But when? 418 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:42,280 At the end of the day, it's not the shiny thing. 419 00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:45,240 It's us and our mentality. How can people who perhaps might 420 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:47,960 be behind the 8 ball a little bit when it comes to these 421 00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:50,360 things? OK, so there's a good question 422 00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:52,600 because I mean, there's different personality types and, 423 00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:56,160 and, and I, I know of some people who, who have maybe more 424 00:19:56,160 --> 00:20:00,280 of a certainty type personality, focused personality and, and 425 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:01,920 time management. Things like that are easy for 426 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:03,760 them. It's a natural, natural thing. 427 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:06,520 I know others where it is almost like. 428 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:10,160 The enemy, they just, they really, really have a difficult 429 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:15,600 time with it and, and almost look at it with almost, almost a 430 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:19,120 bitterness towards it. Do you think, are you convinced 431 00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:22,000 that doing what you do and and having talked to ever all the 432 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,680 people that you've talked to over the years, are you 433 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,560 convinced that anybody can learn these things? 434 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,360 Yeah. I mean, I think as long as 435 00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:32,160 someone is, you know, is, you know, is verbal and has, you 436 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:35,000 know, enough of like a cognitive capacity, I mean, I think even 437 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,720 if you have a limited capacity, I think there's ways around that 438 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:40,000 to kind of navigate. But I think I think the idea 439 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,080 generally is that probably all the people that are listening to 440 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:45,600 this podcast, I would venture to guess probably are fully capable 441 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,560 of making making improvements and changes. 442 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:50,760 And I think the key is really to start small. 443 00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:55,000 So I mean, for like, I would say probably like just a soup, you 444 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,680 know, if you want a kind of really simple suggestion right 445 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,120 now or something you could do even theoretically while we're 446 00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:01,720 talking or pause the podcast for a second while you do it would 447 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:04,440 be think about it, you know, open up the calendar app on your 448 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,440 phone or a computer if that's easier. 449 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:09,400 Basically, if you use a calendar app and you Add all of your 450 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,920 tasks or sorry, all of your, sorry, all of your events in 451 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:14,400 like the, because the idea is you don't want to rely on your 452 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,320 memory for things for this kind of stuff. 453 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,320 Like because that in itself is you're more likely to make a 454 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,000 mistake. It's more mentally taxing. 455 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:22,960 So what I would say like the two key things to start right now 456 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:24,840 would be use a calendar for events. 457 00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:28,080 Put the events in, in terms of let's say if it's work meetings 458 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,880 or social events you know of or picking your kids up from 459 00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:33,160 somewhere, you know, put that all into a calendar. 460 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:34,360 So it's all there in front of you. 461 00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:37,200 You can set it and get alerts to remind you of different things. 462 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:40,960 So that would be #1 the number two thing would be to make a 463 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:42,880 list of all the different tasks that you need to do. 464 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,400 And then what you can do, you know, you can, if you, if 465 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:48,280 there's someone that really likes paper, you can put it on a 466 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:50,840 piece of paper to start. If you like doing 467 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:53,240 electronically, you could use, you know, if you have an Apple 468 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:54,840 device, the Reminders app is great. 469 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:57,200 You know, that's built in. Basically just list out all the 470 00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:01,720 tasks to start because that those would be the two things to 471 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,160 really start. The thing with it though, is 472 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:06,040 that obviously you still have to plan it out because just because 473 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:07,480 they're in a list doesn't mean they're going to get done. 474 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:09,600 But at least knowing we have to do in the 1st place is is the 475 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,200 first step towards towards planning it out. 476 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,080 Yeah, it's almost like if you're, if you're looking at 477 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:15,880 cognitive behavioral therapy, you're almost chunking it a 478 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,000 little bit, right. Just that first step of making 479 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:21,400 the list is going to get you. I don't know if it's a dopamine 480 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:25,640 hit or not, but even making the list many times starts momentum. 481 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,080 It starts things going, you know, and the idea of, you know, 482 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:30,840 well, I want to exercise, I want to get into better shape. 483 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:33,800 But you know, I just, oh, it's so overwhelming the idea of 484 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:35,000 going to the gym five times a week. 485 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:38,120 So you start out by taking your gym bag and putting it by the 486 00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:39,760 door. And OK, there's the first start, 487 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,200 right? And then the next time it's 488 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:44,680 driving to the gym and, and, and you know, maybe the next time is 489 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:47,080 walking in through the door a little bit and, and you just 490 00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:49,520 kind of start the momentum. The organization can be done the 491 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,520 same way, correct? Exactly. 492 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:53,840 Yeah, they have to start small. And especially if you're someone 493 00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:55,920 that gets overwhelmed very easily, you don't want to try to 494 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:57,920 go and implement a huge system to start because you're probably 495 00:22:57,920 --> 00:22:59,640 not going to get very far and not going to do anything with 496 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,560 it. That's why, you know, in the 497 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:04,000 same way where you could put in all of your tasks into a list, 498 00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:06,480 if that's going to feel super overwhelming, you know, start, 499 00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,080 start with a few to start. You know, big picture, the most 500 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,320 important things get done or put. 501 00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:13,840 You know, another approach actually is to get used to, 502 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:15,640 let's say, using a task list. If that's something you want to 503 00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,600 try doing, but you're comfortable with putting a bunch 504 00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:20,440 of stuff in, put in a few things you already do normally anyway. 505 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:23,160 Let's say brushing your teeth, eating dinner with the idea then 506 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:25,520 that you're not actually relying on the task on the task list to 507 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:27,760 remind you to do those things. But the idea is you can mark it 508 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:30,240 off after it's done. And then so it trains you to 509 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:32,600 kind of use the list without it feeling overwhelming because 510 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,240 it's not you're not adding anything that you're not already 511 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:38,120 doing anyway to it to start. OK, I love what you just said 512 00:23:38,120 --> 00:23:39,400 there. So if if you're taking things 513 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,560 that you're already doing by memory or intrinsically, 514 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:45,040 instinctually, whatever it is and and putting them on the list 515 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:48,160 that you know that you're going to do, it's kind of a layup for 516 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:49,760 the idea that you get to cross it off the list. 517 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:53,400 Now, when you cross something off the list, that does provide 518 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:57,040 one of those little little little chemical rewards from the 519 00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,160 brain, doesn't it? Yeah, no, definitely. 520 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,440 And depending on the app, sometimes they actually like 521 00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:03,880 animated it when you hit the button to check it off too. 522 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,600 Oh, we love to congratulate ourselves, don't we? 523 00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:10,480 Yeah. And again, I think for for a lot 524 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,640 of people that helps to reinforce stuff that the idea is 525 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,240 if you can cross off a couple little things, it gets that 526 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:17,680 momentum going to then make it easier to get more and more off 527 00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,480 the list. And that feeling of at the end 528 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:22,840 of the day, you've crossed that last thing off the list that you 529 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:24,400 know, it's often a very good feeling for people when they 530 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:25,720 they've cleared their To Do List. 531 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:32,120 Yeah, and, and, and I mean, OK, so that's a great point. 532 00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:34,840 And I want to talk about the habit part, because at the end 533 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:36,720 of the day, I think a lot of people, they get overwhelmed. 534 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:39,360 They think about, you know, all of these new extra things that 535 00:24:39,360 --> 00:24:41,920 they have to do. How long does it take to become 536 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:45,360 a habit once you start? So I think it depends on the 537 00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:47,240 person. I mean, sometimes it's, you 538 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,680 know, a week or two, you know, it could be a little more, it 539 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:51,440 could be less. The thing that I think is 540 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:54,040 challenging, especially with ADHD, is a lot of times even if 541 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:57,000 someone gets into a routine like they can get, people can get 542 00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,760 very thrown off easily by let's say there's a day off from work 543 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:03,800 or school or you take vacation or some, some other thing that 544 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:05,920 just sometimes throws you off that it's hard to kind of shift 545 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,880 back to doing what you're doing before, even if you had been 546 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:09,280 doing it successfully for a while. 547 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:14,200 Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And then there are some people 548 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,720 like in your experience, other personality types who just are 549 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:18,440 anti routine. They just don't like routine at 550 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:20,160 all. Yeah, I think a lot of people 551 00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:22,760 that find it boring and don't want to do it or, you know, 552 00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:25,080 probably a common thing I hear is that, you know, they can sort 553 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:27,320 of get the routine for a little bit, like maybe a few days or 554 00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:28,680 week and then they kind of fall off. 555 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:31,320 And then they can't they either they find porn, they just can't 556 00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:33,400 stick with it. I mean, one things that I found 557 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:35,560 with the idea of like where you, you know, generally want to do 558 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:38,080 it and you start but can't sustain it is having that 559 00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:40,200 accountability, like having someone to check in with to, to 560 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,200 kind of talk through your stuff and catch yourself when you're 561 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,360 starting to kind of fall off of whatever you want to be doing. 562 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:46,320 I think that's really crucial because that's where I think 563 00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:48,840 most people kind of fall off from, you know, starting the 564 00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:50,880 routine and sticking with it. Like, you know, using the gym as 565 00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:53,080 an example, you mentioned earlier, like if someone says I 566 00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:55,160 want to start workout routine, I want to just go to the gym. 567 00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:58,120 You know, if they're going with someone each time or they're, I 568 00:25:58,120 --> 00:26:00,960 don't know, letting someone know that they're going and let's say 569 00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:02,320 they're starting to fall off their plan. 570 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:04,360 If that person says, oh, you know, you stop coming as much 571 00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:07,280 with me or doesn't seem like going to the gym as much, that 572 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:10,040 might get them to think, oh, let me, let me, that's right. 573 00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:12,040 Let me reassess and try to figure out how to approach this 574 00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:14,120 better. Whereas if like several weeks 575 00:26:14,120 --> 00:26:16,000 have passed and they stop going together at that point it's be 576 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,240 much harder to get back on track with with that goal that they 577 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,800 have. Full disclosure for me 578 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:24,400 personally, I mean, I, I, I've always had the intention. 579 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,240 I think we always have these intentions of wanting to be 580 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:27,360 better and wanting to move forward. 581 00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:29,920 I think many people that's almost their default is that 582 00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,360 they assume next year is going to be a better year than this 583 00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:34,320 year. And, and, and I always had the 584 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:37,800 intention that I was going to exercise and get into better 585 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:39,440 shape. And it never really happened. 586 00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:41,840 I lost my father last year. After that happened, I went 587 00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,440 through it was, it was a very rough three months before he 588 00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:50,480 passed away and I knew that I needed, I needed the benefits 589 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:54,840 that physical exercise give you more for the mental side than 590 00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:56,680 for the physical side, although I certainly need it for the 591 00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:59,560 physical side too. For me, it was hiring a trainer 592 00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:04,600 like I needed to go to that level to know that I would be 593 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,440 accountable, that I would go to a place, I would be there three 594 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:09,720 times a week. And in that time, I didn't even 595 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:13,360 have to really think about the exercises that I was doing 596 00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:16,320 because somebody was gonna be there directing me every single 597 00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:19,280 part of the way. It, it, it was that extreme for 598 00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:21,840 me to be able to start building that habit. 599 00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:24,000 Now we're, we, we were just talking about it yesterday when 600 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:27,080 I was in the gym, You know, we're, we're, we're 11, almost 601 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,840 11 months into it completely transformed my body. 602 00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:32,320 I've completely transformed my, my, my mental state. 603 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,480 And it was worth every single penny and every single second 604 00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:37,800 that I was there. The reason I bring that up is 605 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:41,240 I'm curious if there's an equivalent in this world. 606 00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:46,040 Are there people who are just so disorganized where, you know, 607 00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,880 the idea of a calendar app and things like that and, and the To 608 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:52,080 Do List is there, but they just need more direction. 609 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:54,880 Are there ways that people can kind of dig in a little bit more 610 00:27:55,120 --> 00:27:57,040 to have someone help them build the habits the same way that my 611 00:27:57,040 --> 00:28:00,000 trainer helped me with mine? Yeah, that was a good question. 612 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,680 And absolutely, I, I, I think that that is something that a 613 00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:04,960 lot of people struggle with. Even if they have a calendar and 614 00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:07,640 they sort of use it to some degree, you know, they made 615 00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:09,720 people often need help and to figure out how to plan more 616 00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:11,320 effectively. Even if because even if they put 617 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:13,840 stuff all the events in, they put tasks on the list, there 618 00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:15,840 still can be a disconnect between having it there and 619 00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:17,480 actually being able to execute it effectively. 620 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,320 And so, yeah, so working with, you know, an ADHD or executive 621 00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:22,920 function coach can be really good option because that's, you 622 00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:24,640 know, basically where it's, you know, you're working like 623 00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:27,520 directly with people on like someone's helping you directly 624 00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:29,440 to kind of work on these things where you look at your tasks and 625 00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:31,280 plan them out. I mean, what I would say with 626 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:34,800 that is, you know, first of all, I mean, so for ADC coaching, I 627 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,080 mean, there's there's some certification programs. 628 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:39,240 So like, you know, some coaches have some sort of certification, 629 00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:41,280 but they really vary in what the training actually involves. 630 00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:43,920 Executive function coaching is not really regulated industry. 631 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:46,040 So pretty much anyone can call themselves that. 632 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:48,360 So just, you know, my suggestion in general is when you're 633 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:50,040 looking at these things to actually look at someone's 634 00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:52,040 background and their level of education, what they're actually 635 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:54,720 do, just, you know, if you're going to seek someone out for, 636 00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:57,120 for those kinds of services, just because they, you know, it 637 00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:59,680 really can vary kind of what people do and the knowledge 638 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:02,880 base, just because, you know, a lot of it is also, you know, at 639 00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:05,560 least from my approach, one size does not fit all with, with how 640 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:07,760 you approach things. And there are definitely, you 641 00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:09,960 know, various programs out there, professionals where it's, 642 00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,440 you know, that they want you to do it, you know, their way in 643 00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:14,080 terms of how you plan stuff out. But if that's not really how 644 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:16,680 you're creating works, you know, it may not be quite as 645 00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:17,960 effective. So I think just thinking about 646 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:20,440 the importance to have flexibility in what you know, if 647 00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:23,000 you're going to someone to really make sure that that 648 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,360 they're open to kind of meeting you where you are helping you, 649 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:27,920 but not aren't going to force you to do something a certain 650 00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:32,320 way if you don't really want to. I love that you put it that way. 651 00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:34,360 It's and that's where I wanted, I wanted to move in this 652 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:38,960 direction anyway because again, as I said earlier, many times, 653 00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:41,360 you know, we meet psychologists, we meet coaches. 654 00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:44,840 A little more rare, a lot more rare in my experience is that 655 00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:47,880 you meet somebody who's both. I find it fascinating because, 656 00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:50,320 you know, if you're looking for clients as a psychologist, I 657 00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:53,520 think that there's a certain stigma or stereotype perhaps 658 00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:57,040 that we, we all have individually in our viewpoint as 659 00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:59,040 to what that looks like. If you're looking for a coach of 660 00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:02,960 some sort, the same thing. And so I find it fascinating. 661 00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:05,120 You kind of do both. You're you, you kind of step in 662 00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:08,040 both worlds. Is it because humans think of 663 00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:09,560 things and perceive things differently? 664 00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:13,560 Is that, is that why as opposed to just saying, I'm going to, in 665 00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:18,240 my, my, my psychology practice, I'm going to specialize in these 666 00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:19,640 things and that's what I'm going to focus on. 667 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:22,240 Well, you're kind of branching out that much more by being a 668 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,120 coach. And I'm curious how that 669 00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:26,280 experience has been for you and if it just, yeah. 670 00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:27,280 Can you talk about that a little bit? 671 00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:29,920 Sure. I mean, so I think what got what 672 00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:32,000 got me sort of into the the coaching piece of things to 673 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:34,960 begin with was that was both sort of the the therapy work 674 00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:37,080 they do with ASU, but actually also because I also do testing 675 00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:40,320 to diagnose ADHD and learning stability, right and anxiety and 676 00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:42,680 so very. Handy that you can do that as in 677 00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:43,280 both. Worlds yeah. 678 00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:45,360 And so basically, so the way it works with testing is you have a 679 00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:47,600 feedback session after we talk about the results and you talk 680 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:49,560 about recommendations. So you talk about how do you 681 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:51,800 help someone to move forward? And so, you know, I have a lot 682 00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:54,000 of fun with making recommendations, really like 683 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,640 making them detail oriented and specific apps and programs. 684 00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:58,960 And so I had people that, that I wanted to kind of keep coming 685 00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:00,640 back or wanted to come back to work on the stuff I was 686 00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:03,360 suggesting the feedback session. And then so I end up launching 687 00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:06,440 kind of a like a like a 2 hour boot camp that I've been doing 688 00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:08,760 for I guess about 13 years at this point. 689 00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:11,320 Basically this is like a 2 hour session like that. 690 00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:13,440 But basically from there, I basically the, the coaching 691 00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:15,880 piece kind of evolved into sort of, you know, people wanting, 692 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:18,480 wanting that, that direct, you know, hands on approach with 693 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:20,520 stuff. And also recognizing that it 694 00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:22,320 seemed like that was really missing for a lot of people that 695 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,120 it's great to talk about feelings and there's a lot of 696 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:26,960 value and that's really crucial. But you have to actually take 697 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:29,600 some sort of action beyond that to actually, especially time 698 00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:32,120 management to actually sort of see a lot of progress. 699 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,480 And so that's where I feel like was often just missing and 700 00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:35,960 people. And it kind of just, I think I 701 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:37,680 was doing it for a long time. I'm really thinking about it in 702 00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:40,760 terms like a coaching capacity. But then I think it's a somehow 703 00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:43,400 sort of evolved naturally into kind of doing it way where then 704 00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:45,960 I started referring to it, you know, as that in part just 705 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:47,840 because it helped people to sort of better understand what I 706 00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:51,080 actually do, you know, in terms of going beyond, you know, 707 00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:55,760 traditional talk therapy. It's fascinating to me that you 708 00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:58,240 have all these clubs in this bag that you that you're carrying 709 00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:00,280 around when it comes to this because there's a lot of people 710 00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:02,200 who are stuck. Like there are guys listening to 711 00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:06,080 this podcast right now who are stuck and perhaps they don't 712 00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,600 even realize that something as simple. 713 00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:11,240 And again, maybe let's let's go even the extra mile. 714 00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:15,640 Maybe it's not easy, but simple anyway, as time management, an 715 00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:17,840 organization and some of these things we're talking about can 716 00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:20,120 literally change momentum for somebody. 717 00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:21,640 I want to hit that point a little bit harder. 718 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:26,680 How, how much like you've seen success stories from this, like 719 00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:32,640 where somebody is stuck, how, how much can this affect them 720 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:35,520 and where can it take them? What's the potential here if 721 00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:37,800 somebody decides to make a commitment to this? 722 00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:40,720 And you know, I use the example of the physical of the physical 723 00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:42,520 with the, with, with the trainer before. 724 00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:44,800 And I mean, for me, it's changed my life completely. 725 00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,880 It's changed my body completely. And and, and, and it's certainly 726 00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:51,560 changed my mindset completely. What can this do for people who 727 00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:53,880 might be feeling stuck? How far can it take them? 728 00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:57,720 I mean, I, I, I feel like it's, you know, each person may be 729 00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:00,280 slightly different, but I think in theory, you know, you could 730 00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:02,600 just pretty much, you'd probably do a 360 if things are really 731 00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:05,040 not going well, you really could turn things around. 732 00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:07,480 Because The thing is like the executive functioning time 733 00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:09,880 management piece, it really underlies most of what you do in 734 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:11,880 life. So the idea of, for example, 735 00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:14,680 being able to have the capacity to plan ahead with meals, to 736 00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:18,920 eat, eat, eat healthier, to stay hydrated more, get physical 737 00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:22,880 activity in being able to be. So there's sort of the health 738 00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:24,600 piece of it where it can maximize your health. 739 00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:28,240 There's the like financial standpoint there probably, you 740 00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:29,360 know, depends on your job as somebody. 741 00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:31,400 But in general, if you're more organized and functioning 742 00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:33,200 better, you're probably going to do better in whatever your 743 00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,000 career is. Which means that if you're in 744 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:36,520 the type of job where you can sort of get, you know, 745 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:39,280 promotions and better pay, you know, you're probably going to 746 00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:41,400 achieve that or switching jobs to get that. 747 00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:43,840 Where is if you're not really sort of oriented and you're not 748 00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:46,360 sort of getting there, you may be in the same job, not really 749 00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:48,480 going anywhere in the way that you want to with your career. 750 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,160 So, you know, so it has the, you know, obviously, so the health 751 00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:53,480 benefit, career benefits, family life. 752 00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:55,080 I mean, it can create better help you to create better 753 00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:56,680 relationships with family members. 754 00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:59,840 I mean, if you're someone that I don't know, you forget your 755 00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:02,360 wife's birthday or you know, or some other thing like that, that 756 00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:05,280 probably does not go over well year after year, you know, So, 757 00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:08,320 you know, it's like these little things and, you know, and then 758 00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:11,679 think about like, you know, also if you're someone where, I don't 759 00:34:11,679 --> 00:34:14,159 know, you sometimes forget to pick your kid up places or 760 00:34:14,159 --> 00:34:16,120 you're always running late. Like those things, you know, can 761 00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:18,440 weigh on a relationship over time in a variety of ways. 762 00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:20,840 And so being able to sometimes make those, you know, semi 763 00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:23,719 simple changes can go a long way towards improving relationships. 764 00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:26,400 Or, you know, one of the big things I see, you know, this 765 00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:28,120 part is really especially interested as like idea of 766 00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:30,520 mental health is the idea of relationships with friends, The 767 00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:32,679 idea that a lot of times people in HD, you know, and obviously 768 00:34:32,679 --> 00:34:35,239 men in general, sometimes they just, you know, they don't, 769 00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:36,960 they're not intentional, but they don't really keep track of 770 00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:38,840 the idea of, oh, I should contact so and so to keep in 771 00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:39,920 touch. And so they lose touch with 772 00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:41,760 friends and then they get kind of isolated. 773 00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:44,679 So being able to kind of better navigate the time management 774 00:34:44,679 --> 00:34:48,120 also may make it easier to keep track of, you know, the thought 775 00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:50,280 of, oh, I should actually reach out to so and so to make plans 776 00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:51,600 or I should text them and see how they're doing. 777 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,199 So it can help you to sort of be better connected, you know, 778 00:34:54,199 --> 00:34:57,040 socially, emotionally. So really like you can help in 779 00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:59,640 all aspects that go beyond what you typically think about time 780 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:02,360 management. Yeah. 781 00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:04,880 OK. So you basically just, you know, 782 00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:07,240 touched on every area of somebody's life. 783 00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:10,680 So what you're saying is it's, it's literally could take and 784 00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:13,640 give momentum to every single area of people's lives. 785 00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:17,080 Have we got your attention yet? It's, again, it may not be sexy, 786 00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:19,720 It may not be the shiny new thing, but it is simple. 787 00:35:19,720 --> 00:35:23,080 It's it's really simple. Carrie, are you familiar with 788 00:35:23,240 --> 00:35:29,600 Doctor Stephen Covey? He wrote a book called The Seven 789 00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:31,160 Habits of Highly Effective People. 790 00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:33,120 Oh yeah. Yeah, I've heard. 791 00:35:33,240 --> 00:35:33,920 I've heard the book. Yeah. 792 00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:37,000 OK, so I'm not sure if you're familiar with it or not, but, 793 00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,520 but one of the things that he talks about in there is the idea 794 00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:42,160 of reactive versus proactive. And he and he and he goes 795 00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:43,720 through that in a whole bunch of different ways. 796 00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:48,000 Certain certainly like little subtle things like speech, you 797 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,280 know, like don't say you're, you're, you're you're crappy at 798 00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:51,800 something. Say I'm getting better at this, 799 00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,520 you know, or my challenge is I'm going to, you know, it's, it's, 800 00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:57,680 it's a way of, of, of reframing how you talk positive. 801 00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:01,160 Positive mindset with it. Yeah, a little bit of positive 802 00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:03,520 mindset stuff, but but it also very grounded, like it's just, 803 00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:04,640 it's, it's, it's a mindset thing. 804 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:08,400 Now the proactive, it also goes to, and I believe in the book 805 00:36:08,720 --> 00:36:11,160 it's, I'm not going to quote anything, but the impression 806 00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:15,480 that I got is one of the most important things if you want to 807 00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:18,840 be highly effective, one of the most important things that you 808 00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:22,920 can ever do is, is in a proactive way, you can, you can 809 00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:26,160 plan for your day the night before or plan for your week. 810 00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:28,240 You know, let's say at the beginning of the week, you know, 811 00:36:28,240 --> 00:36:30,760 you plan for your week moving forward and you, you cast a 812 00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:32,480 vision as to what your week is going to look like. 813 00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:34,480 And time management is certainly a part of that. 814 00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:37,360 But you know, going through that, he said it's basically one 815 00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:41,040 of the most powerful things that you can do if you want to create 816 00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,840 new habits in your life. When you talk about this time 817 00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:46,560 management stuff, do you also like obviously having the 818 00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:48,200 calendar and, and, and being look at that? 819 00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:53,440 Do you also enjoy the idea of planning out, say, the full week 820 00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:56,240 and knowing what that's going to look like and outcomes and, and, 821 00:36:56,240 --> 00:36:59,800 and, and putting that positive spin on what the week might look 822 00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:01,240 like? Yeah. 823 00:37:01,240 --> 00:37:03,040 I mean, what I would say with that is I think that makes a lot 824 00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:05,200 of sense and I think it's good to sort of make a plan. 825 00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:07,440 But you know, I would say probably one of the probably the 826 00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:09,560 number one thing that I hear in terms of complaints about 827 00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,440 planning is that people complain that the plan never works, that 828 00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:15,280 something comes up, you know, and so like the way that. 829 00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:17,280 So I think it's important to have a plan and to do what you 830 00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:20,080 said, but I also think you have to have some flexibility in that 831 00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:21,480 because there's certain things you're not going to know how 832 00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:22,520 long it takes, how long does it take? 833 00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:24,040 How many emails am I going to get in a day that have to 834 00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:25,320 respond to? How many phone calls am I going 835 00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:27,240 to have to return? You know, so like there's all 836 00:37:27,240 --> 00:37:29,520 these things that basically you can't always plan for. 837 00:37:29,720 --> 00:37:31,720 And so we were not very good at time estimations either. 838 00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:33,640 And again, there's definitely things you can do to improve 839 00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:35,440 that. There's certainly AI programs 840 00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:37,480 you can use and variety of other things to, you know, just 841 00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:40,160 naturally actually tracking the time yourself of tasks that you 842 00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:42,560 do over and over again to, you know, see you can actually 843 00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:44,440 develop a better sense of time with those tasks. 844 00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:47,320 But the point is that, you know, you have to have some, you have 845 00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:49,600 to have flexibility, but you need a framework as a starting 846 00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:51,000 point. And to the idea is to try to 847 00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:53,480 stick to as much as you can with the caveat that there are things 848 00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:56,040 that are going to come up and you have to sort of adjust stuff 849 00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:58,200 in a calculated way. So not just, oh, I'll push off 850 00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,920 for tomorrow, but the idea of I see that, oh, I have a break 851 00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:03,200 from 2:00 to 3:00 on this day. I'm going to reschedule this 852 00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:05,240 task for that time because I know I have time to do it then. 853 00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,280 Yeah, see, there you go. Because, I mean, I'm going to 854 00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:10,760 push this off for tomorrow. Well, what you're doing now is, 855 00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:13,040 is, is literally even whether you know it or not, you're 856 00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:14,560 procrastinating. Sometimes we procrastinate. 857 00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:16,800 We know we're doing it. You know, sometimes we are doing 858 00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:20,160 the thing that we, you know, playing a video game when I know 859 00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:22,240 I should be doing this. You know that, you know, there's 860 00:38:22,240 --> 00:38:25,360 many times there's that. But the idea of saying, oh, this 861 00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:29,320 came up, I need to put this somewhere, but that's where we 862 00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:30,640 leave it. Whereas I need to put it 863 00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:32,160 somewhere. Well, then that just becomes a 864 00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:35,200 bigger problem later on when we get closer to the to the time 865 00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:37,520 that there's a deadline or we're missing something, or or or. 866 00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:39,720 We should, that's why we also have to look ahead because for 867 00:38:39,720 --> 00:38:42,560 things you can't do quickly in one sitting, you know, you can't 868 00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:45,080 spend 5 hours on something right before it's due if you don't 869 00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:47,880 have 5 hours free. But if you do, you know, an hour 870 00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:50,440 a day on it, then it gets done. But you have to plan it. 871 00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:52,920 So that's where I, yeah, I think looking ahead week as a whole or 872 00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:55,960 even further out for some stuff and then allocating time blocks 873 00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:59,080 to things, you know, is a is a really crucial skill. 874 00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:01,440 But it's also the other piece of it's also the by your energy 875 00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:04,520 level that when you know, besides the actual time you have 876 00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:07,560 available to do a given task, If you can sort of figure out how 877 00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:10,280 much energy does something require when you likely to be 878 00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,840 optimally focused and have enough energy potentially to do 879 00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:15,320 it and not trying to schedule stuff that's unrealistic. 880 00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:18,560 Like if you know that you're not going to, I don't know, figure 881 00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:21,320 out how to pay some sort of bill at 10:00 at night when you're 882 00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:23,680 really tired, you don't want to schedule that as a time you plan 883 00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:25,360 to do it. Like, I imagine that, you know, 884 00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:27,160 a common thing is to schedule lots of stuff to do in the 885 00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:29,560 evening and they never get it done because you're tired and no 886 00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:31,320 energy or other things pop pop up. 887 00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:35,200 And so that's we're also having like a set time to plan like 888 00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:37,720 maybe like, you know, the night before or first thing in the 889 00:39:37,720 --> 00:39:39,400 morning. They can be very helpful because 890 00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:42,440 then you kind of see, you know, what what's worked, what's still 891 00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:44,440 works based whenever you set before and you kind of tweak it 892 00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:46,520 quickly and then kind of go from there. 893 00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:49,600 Or if you know. But the other thing I would say 894 00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:52,960 is it's also important to try to in some ways almost under 895 00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:56,040 schedule stuff in the way that if you cram in stuff every 896 00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:57,800 single hour and minute that you have available. 897 00:39:57,800 --> 00:39:59,480 Besides, it'd probably be very overwhelming. 898 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:02,600 The second, you know, anything takes longer than planned or 899 00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:04,040 something comes up, it's not going to work. 900 00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:06,560 Like if if you have to return emails or phone calls and you've 901 00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:07,920 absolutely no time scheduled for that. 902 00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:09,760 I mean, there's, I'll use an example like with doctors I 903 00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:12,200 often see where you know, they have back-to-back appointments. 904 00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:14,280 And they really have no time to actually schedule for 905 00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:16,560 administrative stuff. So then the problem is, you 906 00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:19,400 know, they send, you know, portal messages at like 10:00 at 907 00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:21,320 night because the only time they have are on weekends. 908 00:40:21,720 --> 00:40:24,080 Whereas, you know, if you blocked out, you know, 15 909 00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:27,600 minutes, I don't know, every few hours, you could then probably 910 00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:30,440 respond to all the messages and then not have to be working at 911 00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:33,240 10:00 at night. So the idea is sometimes like 912 00:40:33,240 --> 00:40:36,360 these little fixes of just how you're allocating your time so 913 00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:39,520 they can make a huge difference on, you know, certainly the 914 00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:41,480 productivity and your mental health as well. 915 00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:45,240 Yeah, I, I love that you, I love that you said that. 916 00:40:45,240 --> 00:40:48,280 One of my next questions was in your experience, is it better to 917 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:51,800 look at things the night before, the morning of that kind of a 918 00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:53,200 thing? And, and, and when you're 919 00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:56,680 putting things into your schedule, you know, do you do it 920 00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:58,760 immediately the moment you know that there is something there, 921 00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:00,440 do you do it immediately or do you wait till the kind of the 922 00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:03,360 end of the day to schedule for the next day and, and put them 923 00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:06,440 all in at once? Is there a, is there a method to 924 00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:08,480 that madness, or is it one of those things where you can kind 925 00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:11,040 of customize it around whatever your personal dynamic is? 926 00:41:11,720 --> 00:41:14,360 That's a good question. What I would say with it is that 927 00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:17,760 I think I mean in general, you want to be like awake and 928 00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:20,040 focused enough to really plan effectively when you're doing 929 00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:22,160 it. So you know, if it works well to 930 00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:25,040 look the night before for stuff and you feel like you're going 931 00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:27,600 to be able to follow through on doing it and planning, then by 932 00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:29,200 all means go for it. And you could do that. 933 00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:30,680 Then if you you know you're going to push it off because 934 00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:32,880 you're so tired or you can't think of straight at that hour, 935 00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:34,320 then I would do it earlier today. 936 00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:36,400 Like even just basically the end of the work day might be a good 937 00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:38,000 time. Like we're basically you're 938 00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,440 finishing up tasks for the day and then this way before 939 00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:43,520 whatever you do next, you sort of then play out the next day. 940 00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:46,640 Then you kind of have stuff ready to go, you know, and hope 941 00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:49,120 you know, plus also stuff from work may be fresher in your mind 942 00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:50,440 to that point because you were just doing it. 943 00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:52,560 And so it's easier to that point to figure out more quickly what 944 00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:54,920 do you need to do the next day. And so I think you can kind of 945 00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:57,880 plan a week out for big stuff, but then also look and see what 946 00:41:57,880 --> 00:41:59,680 do you plan for next day and does it still fit? 947 00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:02,440 Like if you had certain tasks planned out for certain times 948 00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:04,360 and then you realize, oh, wait, I already had, I ended up 949 00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:05,840 scheduling a meeting. I'm not actually free at that 950 00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:09,400 time to do it or I have 5 tasks scheduled for the same 5 minute 951 00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:11,200 time slot. Then you can't probably do all 952 00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:12,840 this tasks at once. So you need to sort of adjust 953 00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:14,600 them. So I think doing it, you know, 954 00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:17,720 probably the day before and the time you're available and focus, 955 00:42:17,720 --> 00:42:19,640 I think would be ideal. But at the same time, maybe 956 00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:21,120 doing that is like your primary thing. 957 00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:23,320 And then in the morning, have a set period of time before you 958 00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:25,640 really start your day where you you dig out of emails, phone 959 00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:27,920 calls, so you can kind of start the day without feel like you're 960 00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:31,400 playing catch up. And then double check your what 961 00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:33,400 you have planned and make sure that it still fits, you know, 962 00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:35,640 because it's something new and you got some e-mail overnight 963 00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:37,480 that impacts a project you're working on or something like 964 00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:38,640 that. Or so. 965 00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:41,560 And so from your group needs this particular proposal or 966 00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:42,720 something sooner than you thought. 967 00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:45,120 Then you have to reallocate time to whatever that is, if that's 968 00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:49,320 more pressing. I, I appreciate these insights 969 00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:52,000 very, very much. I want to thank you so much for 970 00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:56,840 that, You know, putting the emphasis on time management for 971 00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:58,440 people. Again, it's one of those things 972 00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:00,720 it's, it's, it's we don't necessarily think about it. 973 00:43:00,720 --> 00:43:03,760 You and I have dug really deep into that today and I hope again 974 00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:05,160 in the future we can do that as well. 975 00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:06,560 I want to shift gears a little bit. 976 00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:11,160 Sometimes we got, we got dads who who listen to this listen to 977 00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:14,160 this show and they've got kids like I think about, well, he 978 00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:15,160 doesn't listen to the show anyway. 979 00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:16,800 So I'll, I'll, I'll out him a little bit. 980 00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:21,760 My kid brother was, you know, he was one of those kids where at 981 00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:23,920 the beginning of the school year, my mom would buy him a 982 00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:26,760 jacket and within the first month that jacket was missing 983 00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:27,880 and he didn't even know where it was. 984 00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:29,760 And he would go through two or three jackets throughout the 985 00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:31,880 year. And, and, and not even, you 986 00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:33,440 know, they would just be, be gone. 987 00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:36,040 You know, one time I think he came home with one shoe. 988 00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:37,640 How do you, how do you, how do you come home with one shoe? 989 00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:39,360 I don't know. But there's a lot of parents, 990 00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:41,720 I'm being a little bit hyperboless here, But, but, but 991 00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:46,720 there are parents though, who have kids who this is, this is 992 00:43:46,720 --> 00:43:49,360 their existence. And, and, and, and perhaps 993 00:43:49,360 --> 00:43:52,320 there's official diagnosis. Perhaps it's just some of these 994 00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:55,440 behaviors that are out there. Do you got advice for those 995 00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:58,040 parents out there who've got kids who are in this situation? 996 00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:00,240 I know that you have definitely gone down this path and you've 997 00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:01,800 got programs when it comes to kids. 998 00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:03,400 I'm curious about your insights on that. 999 00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:06,760 Sure. And I mean, I think 11 strategy 1000 00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:09,480 to navigate that like with an example of the code or things 1001 00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:12,520 going to school would be to to actually have like a checklist 1002 00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:15,400 where you mark off each morning what code was being taken to 1003 00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:16,440 school. Because the problem is for 1004 00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:18,400 something like that, especially if it's warmer, when you, when 1005 00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:21,120 the child gets home, you may not automatically think, oh, there's 1006 00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:22,320 something wrong. They didn't bring your code 1007 00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:24,280 home. But you know, I mean, clearly if 1008 00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:26,360 it's 10° outside and they normally wear a coat and they 1009 00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:28,680 don't have a coat when they get off the school bus or walk home, 1010 00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:30,400 however, they get home, then you're going to notice the 1011 00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:32,520 code's missing. But I think it's often the times 1012 00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:34,240 where they don't actually need the code later today, they're, 1013 00:44:34,240 --> 00:44:35,840 they're probably more likely to misplace it. 1014 00:44:36,240 --> 00:44:38,640 So, but the problem is like it or like, if you didn't see your 1015 00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:40,280 child in the morning and they're old enough and they get up 1016 00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:43,120 themselves to go to school, then you're not going to have any 1017 00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:45,640 sense of what you know. So, so in that situation, it may 1018 00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:47,280 be a lot longer to realize the code's missing. 1019 00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:50,360 But if you have, I don't know, checklist, if you're the five 1020 00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:53,480 coats they own you, you know, you can move, you can do with 1021 00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:56,720 like a a marker, you know, like a dry erase marker. 1022 00:44:56,720 --> 00:44:59,640 You could have a little like magnetic donkey move next to the 1023 00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:01,840 coat that the child's taken. But the idea of having the mark 1024 00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:03,760 off what coat they took each day. 1025 00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:06,040 And then they can, you know, basically mark it off when it's 1026 00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:07,560 brought home. And then if they haven't, you'll 1027 00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:09,120 realize it the same day that's missing. 1028 00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:11,280 And it's a little easier to go back to the classroom or lost 1029 00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:13,560 and found and find it. Same thing with a water bottle. 1030 00:45:14,720 --> 00:45:16,120 Well, water bottle is another good example. 1031 00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,640 Like, like, and again, I want to like the coat is OK, That was 1032 00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:20,920 just the example. But like the idea of at the end 1033 00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:22,400 of the day, the kid comes home, where's your coat? 1034 00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:25,240 I don't know, like, like it's just it's it's gone. 1035 00:45:25,240 --> 00:45:27,280 And it's almost this behavior that you're talking about here. 1036 00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:31,040 Where, where, where, where, you know, the attention is so that 1037 00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:33,640 that water bottles or coats or things like that go missing. 1038 00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:37,360 And I know parents who are pulling their hair out because 1039 00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:40,240 these kids have these behaviors. So checklists is a way to do it 1040 00:45:40,240 --> 00:45:41,920 and, and accountability. So that that's really at the end 1041 00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:44,360 of the day, you're drilling down into, you know, knowing what's 1042 00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:46,800 leaving the house and making sure you're you're, you're 1043 00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:49,040 you're pretty tied down as to what's coming back into the 1044 00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:49,960 house. You kind of right the. 1045 00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:52,120 Other thing is to work on helping your kids to navigate 1046 00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:54,520 this stuff themselves. Like I like to call the idea of 1047 00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:57,360 parenting for independence. So like, I mean, you know, in 1048 00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:59,240 there, you could have the kid, the child kind of, you know, 1049 00:45:59,240 --> 00:46:02,920 marks off the on the checklist at home, but the child could do 1050 00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:05,480 themselves at school would be, you know, if they they can put 1051 00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:07,920 like a little checklist on like as A tag on their backpack. 1052 00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:10,720 And then basically, if it's a common thing, so they can check 1053 00:46:10,720 --> 00:46:12,520 in each day before they go, whether it's they're packing 1054 00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:15,240 from a locker or, you know, for kids that, you know, actually a 1055 00:46:15,240 --> 00:46:17,560 lot of schools don't seem to use lockers as much these days, but 1056 00:46:17,720 --> 00:46:19,600 you know, if they do or just, you know, cover your. 1057 00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:21,680 Whatever it is. That basically then they can see 1058 00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:23,480 the checklist of these are things that you bring home. 1059 00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:26,240 My water bottle, my lunch box, Yeah, my homework folder or 1060 00:46:26,240 --> 00:46:28,640 whatever it is. And then that can help increase 1061 00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:30,640 the accountability because, you know, same thing with a lot of 1062 00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:32,240 times I see kids have a hard time remembering to put their 1063 00:46:32,240 --> 00:46:33,680 homework folder in the backpack to bring it home. 1064 00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:36,120 Or if they have a bunch of different binders, forget to 1065 00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:37,440 bring home the right binder for homework. 1066 00:46:40,240 --> 00:46:43,800 When it comes to ADHD and kids, I mean, you know, when we see 1067 00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:47,200 the numbers, is it a matter in your opinion? 1068 00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:50,080 You know, you've been doing this for 15 years and this is where 1069 00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:51,840 you started focusing, you know, fairly early. 1070 00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:54,800 You started seeing this stuff. We're seeing a lot more 1071 00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:58,040 diagnosis when it comes to this. Is it awareness? 1072 00:46:58,240 --> 00:47:02,240 Is it a shift in our biology? Is it, is it just a matter of, 1073 00:47:02,240 --> 00:47:04,600 you know, we're discovering new things about this that we didn't 1074 00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:07,400 know before? In in in your opinion is it all 1075 00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:11,280 the above as to as to the reason that this has the diagnosis of 1076 00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:13,600 this of this state with kids has gone up so much? 1077 00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:15,960 Yeah, it's kind of a mixture of things. 1078 00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:17,800 I think it's certainly increased awareness. 1079 00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:20,320 I think there's certainly a decrease in social stigma 1080 00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:22,040 attached to it compared to what it used to be. 1081 00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:25,240 Absolutely. Yep, I, I think there's, you 1082 00:47:25,240 --> 00:47:27,280 know, there's obviously the elements of pandemic and for, 1083 00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:29,680 you know, kids of a certain age, parents seeing them at home for 1084 00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:32,000 a while, doing school and getting a maybe in some ways a 1085 00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:34,040 clearer understanding of what how they actually function in 1086 00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:35,480 school they may not have gotten before. 1087 00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:39,080 So, you know, it's a variety of different reasons that I think, 1088 00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:41,080 you know, there's certainly more diagnosis. 1089 00:47:41,360 --> 00:47:43,200 Again, the thing with kids in particular, though, you really 1090 00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:47,080 want to be careful of is that a lot of times like anxiety, 1091 00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:50,280 depression, various other these can really look like ADHD a lot. 1092 00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:53,080 I mean, even adults too, but even more so in kids, I think. 1093 00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:55,240 And so that's why you really want to be careful and not just 1094 00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:58,120 just jump at the symptoms and fill out a checklist and have 1095 00:47:58,120 --> 00:48:00,280 that be how you get a diagnosis. Like you really want a thorough 1096 00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:03,520 evaluation to figure out what, especially when there's other 1097 00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:06,520 pre exist, you know, possible issues or other things. 1098 00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:09,760 Like especially in teens, I see quite a bit is if a child really 1099 00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:11,640 is sleep deprived, if they're not getting enough sleep, 1100 00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:14,200 they're really busy, you know, they're not they're going to 1101 00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:16,200 have a hard time focusing. So you really just want to make 1102 00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:18,160 sure you under, you know, or if there's any certain nutrition 1103 00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:20,640 deficiencies, you always want to look at everything to try for 1104 00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:22,800 what's going on and not just say, oh, my child's trouble 1105 00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:24,080 focusing. It must have ADHD. 1106 00:48:26,080 --> 00:48:29,040 I love that and because again, that's rampant and it's not just 1107 00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:30,720 rampant with kids, it's rabbit with adults as well. 1108 00:48:30,720 --> 00:48:33,680 Like I'll give another example that is an ADHD to kind of give 1109 00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:36,680 perspective. Like, I know people who are very 1110 00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:40,160 well, we'll use the word anal retentive, perhaps, you know, 1111 00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:42,440 they're, they're so far down that, that, that path that you 1112 00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:45,680 could describe them accurately and lovingly, even as anal 1113 00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:48,800 retentive and they would go and say, Oh yeah, my OCD is causing 1114 00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:50,200 this. All right. 1115 00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:53,960 I have a couple of friends who have kids and, and are part of 1116 00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:58,240 a, of a collective of what OCD really is and what it can do and 1117 00:48:58,240 --> 00:48:59,960 the severity of it and whatnot, right. 1118 00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:07,000 There's idiosyncratic behavior, but then there's also like flat 1119 00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:09,240 out obsessive compulsive disorder. 1120 00:49:09,240 --> 00:49:11,520 And those are two very, very, very different things. 1121 00:49:12,240 --> 00:49:13,840 That's the example I'm using for for this. 1122 00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:16,920 I believe that that is in our society, we're trying to figure 1123 00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:20,000 out what ADHD actually is, and that is happening with that as 1124 00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:21,000 well. Would you agree with that? 1125 00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,320 Yeah, I think for a long time there's, yeah, people say, oh, 1126 00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:27,240 you know, this OCD disorder, they need stuff a certain way, 1127 00:49:27,240 --> 00:49:29,480 which I mean, again, is part part of the disorder. 1128 00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:31,880 But I think a lot of times people sort of attribute like a 1129 00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:34,720 random symptom or two to disorders even if they don't 1130 00:49:34,720 --> 00:49:36,800 actually have the disorder. Yes. 1131 00:49:37,080 --> 00:49:40,040 And ADHD, to me, that's a buzz that's happening all over the 1132 00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:42,280 culture, that same phenomenon, I think. 1133 00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:46,640 Yeah, exactly. I mean, cuz the one thing that I 1134 00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:48,560 just wanna sort of clarify that I think it's important to know. 1135 00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:51,080 So when I mentioned executive functioning earlier, the idea of 1136 00:49:51,240 --> 00:49:54,240 issues with time management, planning, organization, you 1137 00:49:54,240 --> 00:49:57,520 know, you know, certainly anxiety, depression, OCD, lots 1138 00:49:57,520 --> 00:49:59,320 of other things can really 'cause those things. 1139 00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:02,280 So when you see these issues with attention, also, just 1140 00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:04,120 because someone has troubles with attention doesn't 1141 00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:06,040 automatically mean it's ADHD. So I think that's a really 1142 00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:08,600 crucial piece of things. They don't want to just, even if 1143 00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:10,520 someone's having a hard time with time management, 1144 00:50:10,560 --> 00:50:13,600 organization and attention, you want to look at what, what else 1145 00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:14,760 could it be? You want to rule out everything 1146 00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:18,000 else too to ensure that it's not some other thing and and just 1147 00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:22,680 falsely assuming it's ADHD. Yeah, I'm glad you mentioned 1148 00:50:22,680 --> 00:50:24,120 that. Like, again, you know, you see 1149 00:50:24,120 --> 00:50:26,920 people out there and again, I'm not, I'm not a I'm not a, I'm 1150 00:50:26,920 --> 00:50:28,920 not a psychologist. That's, that's, that's, that's 1151 00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:30,560 going and doing these deep dives with people. 1152 00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:34,440 But it sure seems a surface level, like you say, you can 1153 00:50:34,440 --> 00:50:36,240 just go in and fill out a checklist and suddenly, boom, 1154 00:50:36,240 --> 00:50:38,400 you're on vivance or you're on one of these things that, that, 1155 00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:41,840 that, you know, can drastically change your body chemistry, or 1156 00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:45,280 at least at least temporarily. And, and, and you want to be 1157 00:50:45,280 --> 00:50:47,400 sure when it comes to this stuff, but really at the end of 1158 00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:52,960 the day, habits can like time management and organization, for 1159 00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:55,880 example, can be something that can certainly, certainly take 1160 00:50:55,880 --> 00:50:58,440 some of these symptoms that we're feeling and help, help 1161 00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:01,240 them subside. So I, I, I'm glad that you've, 1162 00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:03,400 you've, you've talked about this, you talked about fidgeting 1163 00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:04,560 earlier. We got a little bit of time 1164 00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:05,880 left. I really do want to talk about 1165 00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:07,080 that. I mean, you see people with the, 1166 00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:09,600 the restless leg syndrome and things like that around. 1167 00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:11,200 You see people with fidget spinners like you say. 1168 00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:14,080 I mean, for a while there, every dollar store that you'd go into 1169 00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:16,320 would have almost an entire aisle of these different little 1170 00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:19,120 things that people could, could, can play with. 1171 00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:22,160 Let's talk about fidgeting for a second here. 1172 00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:24,040 I'm fascinated about the deep dive you've done in that. 1173 00:51:24,400 --> 00:51:26,160 Yeah. So I mean, I would say that the 1174 00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:29,440 main thing with fidgets is that to build AHD because they have a 1175 00:51:29,440 --> 00:51:31,840 hard time focusing. It's also about stimulation. 1176 00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:34,320 So they're basically when the task isn't inherently 1177 00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:37,080 interesting enough to them. It basically it's it's kind of 1178 00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:39,760 like if you take like a pie and 100% would be focused, maybe 1179 00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:43,040 they're 75% focused. So we're basically the the 1180 00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:45,440 mindless movement kind of fills the rest of the void in order to 1181 00:51:45,440 --> 00:51:49,920 help them to be better focused. So, so the key with it though, 1182 00:51:49,920 --> 00:51:52,480 is that any sort of fidgeting should be mindless and not 1183 00:51:52,480 --> 00:51:54,080 distracting to yourself or to others. 1184 00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:57,040 So especially for adults, because you often need your 1185 00:51:57,040 --> 00:51:59,720 hands, as they've showed me your computer, I actually really like 1186 00:51:59,720 --> 00:52:00,720 stuff that you can do with your feet. 1187 00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:03,280 And the thing things that we suggest to you are actually 1188 00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:06,440 really helpful really for everyone, you know, but probably 1189 00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:09,040 especially helpful to AC. But it really can be helpful to 1190 00:52:09,040 --> 00:52:11,560 anyone would be like, for example, of you a desk, like 1191 00:52:11,560 --> 00:52:13,600 having like a desk elliptical, like the, you know, a little 1192 00:52:13,600 --> 00:52:17,440 thing like about this big you can basically pedal while you're 1193 00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:18,840 working at the desk. This way you get physical 1194 00:52:18,840 --> 00:52:21,800 movement in throughout the day. You know, a sit stand desk, you 1195 00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:23,120 know, a treadmill under the desk. 1196 00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:25,720 So base, you know, and you or you can stand with like a 1197 00:52:25,720 --> 00:52:28,720 balance board or like a, you know, something like a whirly 1198 00:52:28,720 --> 00:52:31,600 board. Yeah. 1199 00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:33,840 You know, like things like that, they're basically, you know, 1200 00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:35,720 they're kind of fun. You can kind of move around on, 1201 00:52:36,040 --> 00:52:37,680 you know, there's lots of different things you can see, 1202 00:52:37,760 --> 00:52:39,840 but you know, a lot of these things really are helpful 1203 00:52:40,040 --> 00:52:43,120 because it gets you moving in throughout the day and it so 1204 00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:46,040 it's healthy in general. And yeah, it can help you to 1205 00:52:46,040 --> 00:52:47,080 focus at least a little bit better. 1206 00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:49,840 I dig it. I dig it. 1207 00:52:49,840 --> 00:52:52,760 So, so if somebody has like I, I noticed there's somebody in my 1208 00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:55,720 office and I every once in a while look and his leg is going 1209 00:52:55,720 --> 00:52:58,440 like 1,000,000 miles an hour. Like he's just, and, and while 1210 00:52:58,440 --> 00:53:00,440 he's talking and doing things or whatever, listening to a 1211 00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:02,880 presentation, especially if he's listening to a presentation from 1212 00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:04,960 somebody or whatever, I just look at his leg and it's going 1213 00:53:04,960 --> 00:53:06,440 1,000,000 miles an hour. What are some of the things that 1214 00:53:06,440 --> 00:53:09,840 cause things like that? I mean, certainly it could be 1215 00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:13,640 ADHD and like certain the oculation you do have that where 1216 00:53:13,640 --> 00:53:15,600 they shake their legs quickly and it's, you know, when they 1217 00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:18,000 either do it as sort of like usually it's unconscious, like 1218 00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:20,520 they're not intentionally like doing this initially, but it's 1219 00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:22,880 just sort of happens that it's their way of kind of creating 1220 00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:24,880 extra stimulation. If they're not, you know, it's 1221 00:53:24,880 --> 00:53:27,080 focused or interesting. That's actually why also the 1222 00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:29,840 stuff with the legs that peddling is really helpful since 1223 00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:31,800 the leg, you know, shaking is sort of probably one of those 1224 00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:34,200 common things that people sort of do with the fidget. 1225 00:53:34,200 --> 00:53:36,800 And so it kind of creates this intentional sort of movement 1226 00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:39,120 that, you know, probably a little a little bit easier to 1227 00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:41,800 navigate than leg shaking and sort of has more of a productive 1228 00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:45,160 sort of purpose in a sense. That makes sense, that makes 1229 00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:46,800 sense. So for, for, for the guys out 1230 00:53:46,800 --> 00:53:49,080 there that are listening to this today, I mean, I hope that we've 1231 00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:52,440 run it for good food, for good thought and, and, and, and, and, 1232 00:53:52,440 --> 00:53:56,440 you know, the idea that if you are stuck, there are some real 1233 00:53:56,440 --> 00:54:00,400 practical and again, simple ways and you can ease into it. 1234 00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:02,160 It doesn't have to be, you know, all at once. 1235 00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:04,400 Don't be overwhelmed by the idea of this, but if you can 1236 00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:07,480 introduce the idea, you know, of the calendar, if you can 1237 00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:11,160 introduce the idea of, of, of creating a task list or whatnot. 1238 00:54:11,160 --> 00:54:14,200 And again, when you have that task list, like crossing stuff 1239 00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:16,520 off, whether it's physically, whether it's in and out, it's a 1240 00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:18,960 really cool feeling to do that. And you actually start to feel 1241 00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:20,040 like you're getting some momentum. 1242 00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:23,960 And many times it can lead to patterns where you end up being, 1243 00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:26,040 doing more things and being more productive because you like the 1244 00:54:26,040 --> 00:54:28,680 feeling so darn much. And I, I know it may sound 1245 00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:31,240 boring. It may sound, you know, it may 1246 00:54:31,240 --> 00:54:33,960 sound so simple that it's not even worth trying. 1247 00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:36,040 Well, no, it's so simple. It is worth trying because it 1248 00:54:36,040 --> 00:54:39,160 can be life changing. You know, Carrie, I, I just 1249 00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:42,120 appreciate how, how far of a deep dive that you've done into 1250 00:54:42,120 --> 00:54:43,040 this. I want to talk about you and 1251 00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:46,360 your practice here and some of the some of the the resources 1252 00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:48,080 that you have created for people. 1253 00:54:48,680 --> 00:54:50,600 There are going to be people who listen to this that might want 1254 00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:53,480 to reach out to you and, and, and, and go a little further to 1255 00:54:53,480 --> 00:54:55,600 see what it could look like for them. 1256 00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:56,960 Talk a little bit about your practice. 1257 00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:59,960 I know you do online as well. You don't, you're not just, you 1258 00:54:59,960 --> 00:55:02,440 know, up in Maryland doing your, your, your, your personal 1259 00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:04,960 practice. Personally, the thing about the 1260 00:55:04,960 --> 00:55:07,760 beautiful thing about the Internet is our connectivity and 1261 00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:10,000 that you can help people across the globe. 1262 00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:12,640 And I know that you do do that. So can you talk a little bit 1263 00:55:12,640 --> 00:55:14,040 about some of the resources you have? 1264 00:55:14,240 --> 00:55:16,920 If people want to reach out to you, what's the best way to do 1265 00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:18,440 it? Sure, absolutely. 1266 00:55:18,720 --> 00:55:20,720 Yeah. So, so I can see people actually 1267 00:55:20,720 --> 00:55:23,160 in 43 states through side packed. 1268 00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:25,000 So gives me a lot of flexibility, working people 1269 00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:27,600 virtually. And I do also have two executive 1270 00:55:27,600 --> 00:55:31,120 function coaches in the practice who can see people in all 50 1271 00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:33,560 states. And you know what? 1272 00:55:33,560 --> 00:55:34,880 About Canada? What about Canadians? 1273 00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:36,080 We're broadcasting from Canada here. 1274 00:55:36,080 --> 00:55:38,440 Can you see international people who want to get help with this 1275 00:55:38,440 --> 00:55:39,800 stuff? Can you coach them? 1276 00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:41,800 I have to check. I, I unfortunately can't because 1277 00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:44,160 of licensing laws, but I check, I think like I think that 1278 00:55:44,160 --> 00:55:46,000 executive function coaches probably can see people in 1279 00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:48,400 Canada, I believe. Absolutely, but. 1280 00:55:49,280 --> 00:55:50,200 Yeah. So, yeah, they definitely can 1281 00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:53,160 help people in Canada. Yeah. 1282 00:55:53,160 --> 00:55:55,800 I mean, my website, hellerpsychology.com probably is 1283 00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:59,920 the best resource in terms of, you know, there's a simple form 1284 00:55:59,920 --> 00:56:02,040 to contact the practice if you're interested in working 1285 00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:04,040 with us. There's a page that has, you 1286 00:56:04,040 --> 00:56:06,000 know, the various online courses I have. 1287 00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:09,240 And anybody can take a course, anybody out there, wherever you 1288 00:56:09,240 --> 00:56:10,920 are in the world. Can take a course or actually 1289 00:56:10,920 --> 00:56:13,480 like intentionally very concise because, you know, I don't want 1290 00:56:13,480 --> 00:56:15,240 people to spend longer than they need to to do it. 1291 00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:18,160 I've got a few AI programs I've built on, you know, helping 1292 00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:20,040 people like plan out tasks and things like that. 1293 00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:23,680 Some are free, some are like a dollar or two and some Notion 1294 00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:25,560 templates. And again, all this stuff is 1295 00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:27,720 pretty low cost because I want to be accessible to everyone. 1296 00:56:27,720 --> 00:56:30,440 And the idea really is to, you know, use these as a launching 1297 00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:31,840 off point to really help yourself. 1298 00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:35,760 If somebody. Can also find me on social media 1299 00:56:35,760 --> 00:56:39,440 as well. Yeah, OK, So sorry. 1300 00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:41,000 Say it again. Carrie Heller, what is it? 1301 00:56:41,120 --> 00:56:45,440 Carrie Heller's ID for on Instagram and Facebook. 1302 00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:48,880 OK. And Heller, psychologygroup.com 1303 00:56:48,880 --> 00:56:50,680 and the courses are all there as well, right? 1304 00:56:50,920 --> 00:56:52,960 Yep. So let's talk about that. 1305 00:56:52,960 --> 00:56:54,760 So you got somebody who's listening to this podcast right 1306 00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:56,360 now who's like, OK, you know what? 1307 00:56:56,760 --> 00:56:58,280 I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. 1308 00:56:58,280 --> 00:57:01,000 I want to, I want to start the idea of getting some time 1309 00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:03,720 management going in my life. What course are they looking at 1310 00:57:03,720 --> 00:57:05,720 and how much is it? Sure. 1311 00:57:06,440 --> 00:57:08,720 I mean, there's, if they want that, there's a fidgeting course 1312 00:57:08,720 --> 00:57:10,840 that I think is $18.00, I believe. 1313 00:57:11,520 --> 00:57:13,480 Or I think if you, I think if you sign up for the newsletter, 1314 00:57:13,480 --> 00:57:15,200 I think I think you get it for free, I believe. 1315 00:57:16,640 --> 00:57:19,480 And then let's see, I have a coaching kids at industry and 1316 00:57:19,480 --> 00:57:21,000 sports 1. I think he's currently on sale 1317 00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:24,480 for 16. And then there's a, there's a 1318 00:57:24,520 --> 00:57:26,840 boot camp one. That one I think is more for 1319 00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:29,360 kids, but there's AI mean for parents and kids. 1320 00:57:29,560 --> 00:57:31,440 But certainly there's a lot the parents can get out of it in 1321 00:57:31,440 --> 00:57:34,000 general and some stuff they can help themselves with. 1322 00:57:34,680 --> 00:57:37,160 I think that's maybe like $24.00, something like that. 1323 00:57:37,160 --> 00:57:39,920 But I mean, again, none of these are like ridiculously expensive 1324 00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:42,640 courses. I want, really want people. 1325 00:57:43,480 --> 00:57:46,160 Absolutely, and I, I'm, I was so delighted by that. 1326 00:57:46,160 --> 00:57:49,160 It was refreshing to see that, you know, with some of the 1327 00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:51,360 materials that you have your YouTube channel too as well. 1328 00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:53,720 You've got all these, these little videos that, that, that 1329 00:57:53,720 --> 00:57:56,880 just show very, very simple things to get people. 1330 00:57:57,200 --> 00:57:59,320 You know, I think the big thing is getting thinking about it and 1331 00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:01,480 applying it to your own life, you know, and I'm saying that to 1332 00:58:01,480 --> 00:58:04,520 to myself as well as the people who are listening or watching 1333 00:58:04,520 --> 00:58:08,520 this, you know, could you be better in this, you know, and, 1334 00:58:08,520 --> 00:58:10,960 and, and if you could, are you willing to put a little bit of 1335 00:58:10,960 --> 00:58:15,480 effort towards a lot of results in the end? 1336 00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:17,920 And, and really, at the end of the day, that's all this is. 1337 00:58:18,600 --> 00:58:22,520 Carrie, I'm so grateful that you that you came here today and 1338 00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:23,880 came on to heat cast. Is there anything that you want 1339 00:58:23,880 --> 00:58:25,760 to say, you know, to the to the to the men that listen to this 1340 00:58:25,760 --> 00:58:27,760 or watch this? Anything that you want to say 1341 00:58:27,760 --> 00:58:30,040 out there to them who might be a little bit stuck? 1342 00:58:31,520 --> 00:58:34,280 I guess what I would say is sort of a final thought is the idea 1343 00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:37,040 that you're the thing. If you if you want if you want 1344 00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:40,080 things to be better for you, you have to take some sort of action 1345 00:58:40,080 --> 00:58:42,320 to make that change. Doesn't have to be a big action 1346 00:58:42,320 --> 00:58:44,680 to start, but if you keep doing the same thing over and over and 1347 00:58:44,680 --> 00:58:46,840 you're probably not going to have anything go very 1348 00:58:46,840 --> 00:58:49,160 differently. But so just start small. 1349 00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:52,400 It, you know, whether it's, you know, going for a simple walk to 1350 00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:55,320 clear your mind or get a little physical activity in, whether 1351 00:58:55,320 --> 00:58:57,880 it's, I'm going to say I'm at least put all my, my events for 1352 00:58:57,880 --> 00:59:01,200 today in the calendar. You know, whatever it is, start 1353 00:59:01,200 --> 00:59:04,000 small, you know, seek, seek professional help when you need 1354 00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:05,520 it, because that can really make a huge difference. 1355 00:59:05,520 --> 00:59:07,240 If you're really stuck and you don't really know where to go, 1356 00:59:07,360 --> 00:59:09,240 having something that can kind of guide you, make you where you 1357 00:59:09,240 --> 00:59:10,680 are and help you can really be helpful. 1358 00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:13,600 And also, you know, whatever you can, you know, pull online is a 1359 00:59:13,600 --> 00:59:15,800 starting point. But the idea is, remember that 1360 00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:17,840 it it does, it's very general advice. 1361 00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:19,880 It's they don't know anything about you civically when you're 1362 00:59:19,880 --> 00:59:21,720 watching it. So you also have to be mindful 1363 00:59:21,720 --> 00:59:24,640 that what may be recommended generically doesn't may not 1364 00:59:24,640 --> 00:59:27,920 always take your direct needs. There you go. 1365 00:59:27,920 --> 00:59:30,240 And we had, you know, disclaimer on the show here we have, you 1366 00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:32,240 know, we're we're, we're discussing ideas and 1367 00:59:32,240 --> 00:59:33,280 perspectives and things like that. 1368 00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:36,200 We're not offering advice when it comes to personalized advice. 1369 00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:38,480 You want to go to somebody who gives you the personalized 1370 00:59:38,480 --> 00:59:41,200 advice as opposed to just listening to something in, in, 1371 00:59:41,200 --> 00:59:42,600 in general. But at the end of the day, I 1372 00:59:42,600 --> 00:59:47,200 hope that I hope that that that this conversation today will 1373 00:59:47,200 --> 00:59:49,360 help the people who are listening to this or watching 1374 00:59:49,360 --> 00:59:52,000 this think about their life and move in a different direction. 1375 00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:53,520 That's why we do the show. We do the show. 1376 00:59:53,520 --> 00:59:56,640 He cast to have these discussions around men's mental 1377 00:59:56,640 --> 01:00:00,600 Wellness specifically and, and, and hopefully with the goal of, 1378 01:00:00,600 --> 01:00:04,080 of, of getting people to to empower themselves to move 1379 01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:06,720 forward to solution, whatever that solution might be. 1380 01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:09,680 I'm so grateful for our guest today, Doctor Carrie Heller. 1381 01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:12,680 You know, a lot of good food for a lot of good thought. 1382 01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:15,480 Like I said earlier, this has been another episode of he cast 1383 01:00:15,480 --> 01:00:17,160 the official podcast of he changed it. 1384 01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:19,800 My name is Mike Chisholm. Go change something.