Coming up, do you shave? Sometimes.
Would you look like me if you didn't shave?
What? Indian.
Yeah. But you do look like you could
come across as a football hooligan.
You've got the look of a foot. You could you could play many
parts. Mike Occasion of White.
You're kind of like almost an ethnic minority because you're
Irish. I know.
So you're not white White. No, I'm off white.
Yeah, you're an off white. You're like cream.
Your nose isn't straight, but you are.
I'm straight, my nose is gay. Don't Ask Me That is sponsored
by Mrs. Elswood Pickles. Genuinely top tier Pickles give
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They're brilliant in sandwiches, they're great in burgers and a
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you're at the shop. Today I'm joined on Don't Ask Me
That podcast with me, Paul Chowdhury with another
exclusive. I'm joined by one of Northern
Ireland's top stand up comedians.
Huge podcaster. He grew up in Hollywood, not the
one you're thinking of, the shithole near Belfast.
Despite that, he supported some of the biggest names in American
stand up and on the global scene.
I introduce to my audience and further afield, Mr. Shane Todd.
Yes, there's a lot of, you know, there wasn't that a lot of.
Gravitas. There's a lot of gravity.
And I've never said that word. I don't.
Think you think my voice has got gravitas?
Loads of loads of it. It's because it's deep you.
Know. Yeah.
And it's deep and it's, it's, it's concise.
Really. Yeah, I take that as a
compliment. Have you ever been to Hollywood?
I've been to Hollywood, my Hollywood, not your one.
Well, you can't call it a shithole because you would love
it. You would love it.
I might have to re record that intro, no?
No, keep it. Because I'm going to get a lot
of backlash. You're not.
It's too small of a town to get backlash.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's not enough people to
come together to organize some sort of protest or something.
But here's what I'd like to do. I see down the line me and you
making a documentary about you being in Hollywood and then at
the end of it you break down and say this place is lovely.
It's a nice. It is lovely.
When I get cancelled in Hollywood?
Yes, but your Hollywood only has 1L.
That's right. My production company is called
1L Productions because we're the original man.
We were there long before. It's Hollywood in America.
They just, they just made that up.
Yeah, on the hills. Yeah, we all.
We all like the the hot. I can't.
Well. We had one for a while.
There's a place called Spa Field, which is like some
playing fields and we which has a slight hill on the side of it.
And we had our own version of that, but the letters weren't
like heavy enough, so it would just blow away.
So it'd be like Hollywood or, you know, Hollywood, Yeah.
Or Hollywood, you know, so but, but I think we should.
I think we should have. I've just come back from
Hollywood actually, and in LA, in LA and it's one of the
biggest shit holes in America now.
It's weird and. It's a dump.
And it's all spread out. You can't.
You can't walk the places. Podcast takes you about an hour
to get to each one. Yeah, I've been a few times and
I do like it, but I just kind of like looking up at that sign,
you know. But I think I would like to have
been there 30 years ago or something.
But it is, it is still cool to be there, but it is.
But my one is the me in Hollywood.
You would like my Hollywood more than that one, I guarantee you.
That I do love the people of Northern Ireland, yes.
Want to say that. No offence to the Southern
Irish. Yeah, I know you guys.
I know we can bring this up, but you had some troubles.
Yeah, there was a better stuff. Yeah, I think that's fair to
say. And.
There's a bit of a pullover. Yeah, there was Catholics and
the Protestants who had an issue with each other, which I
obviously won't bring up in the Don't Ask Me That podcast
because you have asked me not to.
Specifically say. Yeah, don't bring this up, which
I'm going to keep away from. I think that's a touch of class
from you. That's the that's why at all.
Exactly. That's the name of the podcast
is Don't Ask Me That, so I won't.
No, that and I appreciate that. But for reference purposes,
what's your religion? Look, I have this policy where
and I think it's brave to have this policy, especially in this,
with the history of where I'm from, I will be whatever I need
to be. Do you know what I mean?
So I'm willing to, I think it takes a lot of balls really to
stand up and say, first of all, I when I'm home, I say, where am
I? What's the demographic?
And then I'll, I'll be that. So I'm willing to flip flop
between Protestant Catholic multiple times a day.
You know, I get the money from the show, cash in hand, get back
in the car and then go back to neutral, you know, but I, I'm,
I'm willing to be both. I grew up with no religion in
the house, like at all. So no one in my family either
side really goes to church. And I'll be very rare in
Northern Ireland. Now the downside of this is with
doing stand up people do get obsessed.
You do like it would amaze you that in 2026 people are still
like but what are you? People need to know that.
But I genuinely have never been anything and my family aren't
anything. So I I say like, well, I'm
nothing. I don't I'm not religious at
all, but that's no good to people.
But they need they're indeed. But what are you?
You're a nothing. What?
And your pronouns? Yes, you have to have a pronoun.
Yes, a religion and an identity. I have no identity.
You have nothing. I'm like an assassin.
You are, you come. In Dead, I'm in the I'm just in
the shadows. You're just.
Yeah, I'm a myth. A mystique.
I'm a myth who does sex podcasts a week, You know I'm like, but
who is a? Profile, Yeah.
But like that, that has always been since I started stand up
people just what? So I kind of like winding people
up at shows back home because because when you when you sort
of play both sides, but you're open about that.
I think people like that because not many people do that, you
know? Because you're obviously a very
young man. You see, when I grew up during
the Troubles and they almost blew me up at one point in
London, right, the fly over near my house, which I used to drive
over got blown up just before I drove on the on the fly over at
Brent Cross right and hang a lane like it's with the name of
the road. It was like the Brent Cross fly
over where the shopping centre was and they decided in the
morning to. But the thing about the IRA was
they'd give you a warning. It was a you got a phone call
you. Got a phone call?
15 minutes to get out, yeah, you know.
They were very ethical. That, you know what I think
that's been lost in terrorism there's.
Been lost now there's no ethics anymore, there's no values.
Pete, can I say something? Terrorists nowadays Rude.
Yeah. You know there wasn't that phone
call before and probably ring up and say hi.
Are you at the start of the call?
They don't even put the work in, you see, they just the admin has
gone down. Yeah, yeah.
You guys had secretaries? That human touch, yeah, you
know, but can I say sorry? But yeah, about that.
Although it was just before you drove over to like just.
Can you say? Sorry, you say you're nearly
could have been blown up on that.
I'm just coming over here to say I apologize for that.
Well, I'm sure you have no connection to Jerry Adams.
You'd be surprised. Not anymore.
But you see, this is Northern Ireland you see, and Southern
Ireland is very different and I don't want to offend any people
in both parts because I do tour across Ireland.
Very good people. The Irish, I know it's not
trying to be patronising in any way, but I'm a Sikh and we're
considered the Irish of India because of the amount we drink.
Right, right, right. Because there's that Irish thing
we would say. People always say we're the
blacks of Europe. It's been racist, but yeah.
But that's, that's the, that's the old.
Phrase we'll apologise to people in Europe, yeah, but you know,
the Sinn Fein and the IRA and Gerry Adams have obviously it's
all moved on, you know, and, and you grew up and you're a younger
man than myself. What do you think I am, Puff?
You must be coming up to 23. I love that.
Say that again for two class 37? Really.
Yeah. I've been in stand for 19 years.
19 years now. Can I ask a big question?
What's the see sheiks and sikks? Yeah, what's the difference?
Sheiks and sikks. Sikks and shikks.
Oh, sheikhs, Sheikhs are they're like in the in the Middle East,
right are they're a Sheikh who like they have their whole.
Garb a Sikh. A Sikh isn't a Sheikh.
But what if a Sikhs in the Middle East a Sheikh?
That doesn't make them a Sheikh. No, a Sheikh.
A Sheikh is like the Middle East and somebody in the United Arab
Emirates. Yeah, get you.
And generally Muslims. Get you get, you get.
You, whereas we are Sikhs, generally Indians.
And Sikhs like the booze. That's what you're telling me.
They don't it's not part of the religion.
Yeah, but they do enjoy a drink. Yeah.
You see, and I've got into a lot of trouble with this and I'm.
I'm sure this is going to cause me you you're causing me issues
now. I'm sorry.
My own, my own audience is going to try and cancel me, you see,
because when I do shows now, I go to Ireland and they like a,
they like a drink, they Heckle and you're going to get heckled
and you'll move on. You see.
You perform to Muslim crowds, teetotal, no alcohol.
It's a very listening audience. But when I perform to the Hindus
and the Sikhs, the heckling is on another level.
They're like the new wave of white people, right?
Because the white people just kind of calm down with the
drinking. Yes, yes.
Even the Irish have taken the drinking levels down.
We're doing like 8-9 pints now, you know, basically tea total.
In the morning. But you're a big drinker.
I can see you're drinking now. I'm on the coffee now.
I, I, I am very Irish in my drinking in that I would say I'm
tea total. I would say I don't drink.
If you said do you drink, I said don't drink.
But on special occasions I drink.
But special occasions would be anyone's birthday that I vaguely
know, a wedding, a christening, a funeral.
After I've done maybe a really big show, I'll have a few
drinks. But I would say I'm teetotal,
but I'm like an Irish teetotal where I would do like I'm going
to stag do next month. I'll drink all day for like 3-4
days but that's just because it's a stag do so I'll drink
regularly on special occasions heavily.
You're a method actor. But I'm Tito.
Because the thing about drinking, like when you're used
to funerals, wakes. Yeah, yeah.
Is an Irish thing. It's it's you're.
Yeah. Even when someone's dead.
Yeah, you're like, I have a point, like.
Yeah, sorry. Well, it's my.
Why are we so? I don't know why that happened.
I think you can. Irish people convert.
Before you confuse our. Pitch.
I don't know why I did that. I think I did my neck in last
night, you see, and right, right, right.
But it was a a a bad attempt at a Northern Irish.
But what are the so the the audience who come and see you
know who who are heckling a lot? What's the temple?
Because it, you know, is it. Just beer, WW Spirits.
Whiskey's dangerous. I don't want the audience having
spirits. You see, beer isn't as big a
thing in the Asian communities in the Indian diaspora.
They're more into the spirits. Right, right, right.
Generally, the whiskeys are a big thing, right?
OK. And Jamaicans are more than rum.
Yeah, and Guinness. And they love, they love a
Guinness. Jamaica, and I think it's
Nigeria. Nigeria.
Nigerians love the Guinness you. See, when my dad came to to
England in 1964 and worked on the buses as a bus conductor on
London transport, it was mainly the and I grew up with the
Irish, that part of London like Kilburn, and it was a big Irish
population. And when people would go into
hospital, Guinness was was like a supplement.
For iron, right? For iron.
Yeah, they they, they made pregnant ladies drinking.
Yeah. So it was given out as a vitamin
supplement in hospital. I don't know, actually a vitamin
supplement, but it was used, yeah, for medicinal purposes,
yeah. Yeah.
So you guys were at the forefront of medical advanced?
Pioneers. Yeah, we're pioneers.
You may actually be good because alcohol does cure the body of
everything. It cleanses everything.
Yes, yes, it will cleanse you of all the toxins.
I'm on a Stella cleanse at the minute, yeah, which has been
great. Exactly, Look at look at you're
37 years old. Who would have thought?
I. Have Crohn's disease though.
I'm sorry to hear that. That's no problem, have you?
Been public with that before. Yeah.
This wasn't an exclusive. No, because I was going to say
exclusive. Shane Todd reveals he has
Crohn's disease. You like, I've heard that, that
you're on this pod. You like your guest to like
reveal contract something? Yeah.
And then reveal. And then reveal it.
Yeah, cry. Yes, crying is a big thing now
online. I cried yesterday.
Online no. Oh, in real life I was watching
something online. What you're wasting that for?
I know I couldn't get the camera quick enough.
Well, they just do a retake, you know when you see people cry, I
think. How many takes did this take to
get the right cry? I cried on the train yesterday.
I come. I was watching a video of it
just came up of kids getting fitted with like hearing aids
and hearing for the first time. I've.
Seen I was completely gone. And when the kid and the baby
like it, it can hear. And then, yeah, I've said tough
on that one. Gone even like I, I don't have
pets, I'm not an animal person, but seeing like pets reunited
with their owners. You ever seen the one where the
guy it's in like Georgia or somewhere then not the America
one like the one like maybe near Russia or something If it is
near there, like it's around that region like of like you
know those guys right? Like near there it's a guy whose
dog's been missing for like 7 or 8 years and he's never given up
looking for it. You fight.
Have you ever seen this and he finds it after years and he's an
old guy and see when the dog that him and the dog see each
other the there's just like a second where the dogs like you
can you see the dog go? This can't be real and then he
realizes it is but. We wouldn't have recognized the
guy, but the dog did. The dog did because it smells
it. Yeah, they can smell it.
Yeah, like the Greyfriars, Bobby, you remember that?
That like we dog in Scotland used to sit in its owner's
grave. Oh yeah.
Yeah, those are tough ones as well.
But then I read about that and then apparently the guy who
worked in the graveyard used to like leave food there for him
and stuff. I don't know how he sentimental
law was. I think he was just looking
like, you know, biscuits or something.
Good, good way to go viral. Yeah, you've got to find these
little hacks. Your algorithm is different to
mine, right? I'm getting like a lot of Bonnie
Blue videos. Right, right, right, right.
And a lot of like ass clapping videos, you know when I went on
they they juggle the cheeks and it's like clapping.
And is it? Is there something in the middle
or it's just? Just that really right?
They're not algorithm is just I don't know.
Your algorithm seems to be. Mines emotional reuniting videos
because because I have two kids who I when I tour I missed them
and I'm like but I've only been there.
Like I'm watching videos of soldiers who have been away for
12 years coming home and I've just been there like Birmingham,
Sheffield and Leeds to do the Glee clubs.
But but I'm equally as emotional when I get reunited.
But my algorithm is reuniting videos and like nostalgic
football from like the late 90s. So you, your other half, could
go through your algorithm and there'll be no issues.
There's no issue. Nobody can see my algorithm.
There's no issue because here's the thing, you know, for us clap
and all that kind of thing, I just buy magazines, you know,
newsagents I still would buy, like Rosler and all that kind of
stuff. Really.
You can actually go no, no, no. Because we used to find them in
the woods when we were kids. Yeah, the the, the old hedge
thing people. People used to try and bury
their old pornography. Yeah.
Now it's your algorithm. In Ireland it's like you, you
still buy like paintings and stuff, you know?
The Renaissance. Period.
Yeah, yeah. Pornography was different back
then. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
When I was a kid. Games change like.
Game has changed. I bet like terrorism.
To get terrorism is just there's no ethics.
Lost to human touch? I actually used to come to
Northern Ireland on a regular basis to perform for the blame
game. Yes, the panel show, yeah.
The panel show the blame game great, great show in Northern
Ireland and BBC Northern Ireland and and the the hotel that they
used to put us up in was the hotel that was the most bombed
hotel. We are very proud of the Europa.
Hotel. What?
A hotel. Should have the Europe Hotel
most bombed hotel in the world? In the world.
Thank you very much. Not just Europe.
Thank you. And, and there's some nostalgia
when you stay in it. Absolutely and unlike.
No offense to anyone. And people, people stay there
and they're like, oh, my God. So like, hundreds of years ago,
this would have been blown up. And they were like, way less
years ago than you think. Yeah, way more last year's news
should be comfortable with, like, not that long ago.
And let's not rule out that someday it happens again, you
know? But we're we're weird about
that. We've got that hotel, the
Titanic, of course. Yeah.
The things that we're proud of and we showed about have a sad
history. Yeah, that's what the Titanic.
The famine music. Ireland's very like Troubles
stuff, Famine stuff. Yeah, they do like trauma.
Yeah, love it. Which they do like trauma.
They're they're very much into depression.
Yeah. But when I did, I used to do the
the show there in in the Belfast Empire.
Yep. And they and then what they
would do in those days and we're going.
When you're saying those days, yeah, how far are you going
back? We're going back to like the
2000 and probably 6. Right. 6:00-ish.
Because that might have been around the time.
I still remember the first time seeing you on Life of the
Apollo. Oh really?
I remember being blown away by yourself on Life of the Apollo.
Honestly, I mean that. That was 2012.
This was way before that. OK, OK.
We're going back to like Colin Murphy.
Colin Murphy would have been Colin Still MC the Old Testament
still there. Yeah, yeah.
Now what they would do is they would put on the the the
travelling or the international comic generally from England on
as a headliner. And then and Colin would do like
an hour just understand. And they'd have a bunch of Irish
comics that would destroy, and they'd put the British guy at
the end on like, early midweek Tuesday night.
It was Tuesday. And you stay in the hotel
upstairs. Yeah, Yeah.
And you could hear the nightclub office was downstairs.
And. And when you go on the stage,
people were so drunk by that point.
And the English guy would come on and they would Boo him off
stage. It would be, I don't know if you
find it, but it would be always the first 10 seconds, yeah,
dictate how it was going to go. Because if you were an actor
come over from England and you killed, you really killed and
they really went for it. But if you didn't, that place
could be a bear pit. It was tough.
Gig, I've been on both sides of it where like I've had nights
where it's been unbelievable and I've had nights where especially
like when I was starting or doing like the middle spot, if
if your first bit didn't connect, they just talked
amongst themselves. Yeah.
And that's worse than being booed.
That's worse, the indifference of it, you know.
Tough gig, but Colin was a very, you know, he, he was very good
to the headline act. You'll do an hour just before
you. So he was good like that.
And then and then you'd go up and, and I'd go up because I was
the British guy. But then they would see me as an
Indian guy and think, well, we don't know if we should be
booing him off. Right, right.
And then kind of some would listen and some would just talk
about because they were so drunk they didn't even want comedy at
that point. People are trying to get some
pom pom there. Because it started, people were.
This isn't no freeze. It will be in our vocabulary.
Boom boom. Yeah, they were trying.
I couldn't say that. Yeah, you know what I'm talking
about. They're trying to get Galdem.
Again, in my accent, Galdem doesn't sound right.
Boom Boom definitely doesn't. And I'm up on stage, yeah,
trying to trying to do some. I don't want to hear me at that
point, right? Yeah, 11:45.
Yeah, that's the other thing, because that that gig famously
starts quite late, really late. And especially if there was
football, there always seemed to be a Champions League game on
beforehand, so people were watching that match get juiced
up and then come upstairs at the comedy club.
I like I my shows tour shows always started 8:00 PM, and this
year every show half seven. See that extra.
How far? You go into half seven now.
I started half 7. That's what I do now, yeah.
It's a game makes a. Difference and you do the both
both halves or you have a support.
I have support, so support will do 20 minutes.
If I've got two guys, they'll do 30 minutes and then break and
then I'll do 70. Yeah.
What are you both UPS? Yeah, I mean, I I kind of do 2
hours, right? So I do like say half an hour,
40 minutes break an hour and 10 with an interval.
But when I start the tour, I'll have somebody opening and then
the tour expands. Yeah, go along, let's get longer
and that's sort. Of but then at the same time
with the attention span these days, is it too long?
I personally find like an hour is great.
Yeah, part of me, I would love to just do 50 or maybe 55, but
then like you say, you have fun with bits and you end up doing
longer than you. Do like in America that that's
the model, right? 50 minutes a year.
Yeah, and there are no interval. No, no, they think it's.
Crazy when you do a break. Well, Louis just came over here
and the the Apollo and even like get a couple of supports and
then straight him. There was no, no intermission.
Yeah, like when I do, for instance, I did the Comedy
Cellar in New York for a while, did a couple of weeks there.
There's no intermissions. It's straight.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because they have table service.
And then you're the Czech act at the end, Yes.
And then they're dealing with the Czechs while you're up
there. And over here we would address
that. You can't even talk to them.
Yes, I had that in LA last time I was there.
I was like, this is great, what a line up.
And then they all leave and you're on and you can see the
audience LED up by their book in the Ruber.
Yeah, you just can see everyone booking the Uber.
Which club was that, the Improv or the improv?
Hollywood Improv. Yeah, yeah, I was out there a
couple of months ago. I'm going back to do Pasadena.
Oh yeah, that Netflix is a joke festival.
I would love to do that. So so.
I would love to do that. I'm doing my own show there in
in May May the 6th. That's great.
I think May the 4th is is is Seinfeld and and his writing
partner. That'll be unbelievable.
Larry David doing a show together.
Will you go watch that? If I can get in, if I can get
in. You know, it's weird going to
watch a show as a comedian, isn't it?
Especially when you don't buy a ticket.
I think I've just got to that point where I can go and enjoy
it and just be a fan and not do the working every bit out then.
When I did Montreal last time, I headlined that British showcase
way back and I I saw Dylan Moran.
But it just feels weird going to watch other comics.
Yeah, I know what you mean. Dylan doesn't ever want
pictures. He never wants a selfie.
Right, right, right. Doesn't like pictures of himself
and other people. I opened for him a few months
ago. He was doing some like work in
progress shows in Belfast and I was like that'll be fun to go to
go open. And it was great because I used
to have a DVD of his. It was a show called Monster.
Monster, Yeah. Brilliant.
So good. So you were in America because
you had an American management? Yeah, at one point, which is why
you open for the likes of Bill Burr.
Yeah, yeah. Kevin Hart Yeah.
What happened with the American situation?
I thought that was my thing where I was like, you know, no
one else is really doing it and going over there.
I enjoy more American comedy than anywhere else.
So I went, maybe that should be what I'm sort of aiming for.
And the goal. I got my visa, spent a time and
money. Yeah, no one.
And. How many years?
2 year visa 4. Four year it was it was 4 now
it's changed to three, right. So I got that and then I was
sort of going over semi regularly with the eye of
building it up and and then who knows kind of and then so I got
and I got really good representation out there, like
agents. I was with WME right, who are
like one of the biggest and looked after everyone.
So it worked out great because when their acts were coming over
to UK and Ireland, I'm a big fan of going, you know, hey, I'll
come do 1520 minutes, I don't care if you pay me, I'll come
and do it. That's how good to do the shows
of those guys. But then the America thing just
kind of, I still tour right there, but I may be away for
10-11 days because once my kids came along, my priorities
totally changed like instantly. And I just lost all motivation
to in my head, not break America.
But I was, I was thinking, I want to do something like that.
And now that's just something I can go and enjoy as like a
little bonus. But I'll never leave where I
live. Yeah, because I just did A10
state tour in America and it's. Intense.
So you can get to Ireland from
London? Yeah, quicker than getting to
another part. Of other cities, yeah, it's not.
But I it was, it was great then I had a really good team out
there and but I just would have needed to have spent longer
there. That's the thing in in America,
like you'll go to a stand up comedy night, a club night, not
a tour show, and you'll see some of the biggest names in comedy.
Back to like 6 of them. Whereas over here there's almost
like we're beyond that. You rarely see unless they they
test material to their own audience.
And I and I, I know you play like top secret a lot and things
like that. And anytime I'm on tour, I still
want to, if I've got a day off, can I go and do the local club?
I would hate to, I would hate to lose that.
You know that that that desire to also want to go and do the
clubs. And I get these people are doing
these very lucrative tours, but I also can't work out why you
don't want to drop in and do 10 minutes here, test some stuff,
be in a comedy club environment doing the theatres and and
arenas. That's great.
But like the doing the clubs, I nearly would enjoy the clubs
more. Well, club comedy is very
different to tour shows and your own because they're they're
there to be in your company. Whereas in a club they just want
to get the jokes. But I think it's very important
to test material in front of people that don't know who you
are, of course, see if it works and then expand on it your own
shows. And then you can you can find
some of the bones and then building that and then and then
make it your voice. But it's tough, man.
Yeah. No matter how many years are in
stand up, if you ever think you've mastered it, you haven't.
And like you say, if you're only doing theatres in your own tour
and they're only there for you, then when you, if you eventually
do go back to clubs, you know, you'll realize like, oh shit,
the I'm, I'm not owed anything by the crowd here.
You know, So I that's why I like, I would always want to do
clubs. Yeah, well, Belfast when I did
it a few months ago and and Dublin a very different
audiences. Dublin's more of an
international audience, yeah. Did you find that?
Yeah, and it's very local. In Belfast, yeah.
And they're a bit more reserved I found in in Belfast.
Did you think so? Yeah, but then when I'm at the
first half, so I just went out. I was a great crowd, you know?
But they're very comedy literate and it's almost like they watch
stand up like theatre. Right.
I found in Belfast. Well, I, I think there's so much
comedy. Belfast went from having hardly
any comedy to this explosion of of comedy.
We've got that arena there now, right?
Yeah, and there's half a dozen local comics playing in that
arena. And that just that doesn't
happen anywhere else. So people might have enjoyed
watching a bit of stand up, but you had to watch it on TV or
wait until your favorite comic came over once every five years.
And now there's loads of comedy nights and there's loads of
local comedians. So there's just far more.
So I think that maybe novelty of this is a night that we're
getting to watch live stand up comedy.
It's now almost like going to the cinema.
It's just a regular thing you can do.
Well, that's the thing. Cinema now is in the living
room, right is. And cinema is dying.
Yeah, I've been to the cinema in like 8-7 years or something.
Once Upon a time in Hollywood, that.
Was the last. Thing you saw, I went to the
cinema. I wouldn't even know what.
I saw and it was that good that I went.
I don't, I don't want to. I'm happy to leave my cinema
career there. Yeah.
And I've had a big cinema career.
I sneak a lot of things into the cinema.
Into the cinema, yeah. Like guns?
No, like pizza, Couple of beers. It used to be a beer guy.
Used to take him in. You wouldn't smile at the box
office. No small.
Cans of beer or they wouldn't serve alcohol in cinemas in
Belfast. Jesus.
The place would be basically carnage, but I'd sneak in a few
cans in my coat pocket. Yeah, can of beer in the cinema.
Indian people, my shows, they sneak in samosas.
I'm looking in the front row and I can see, you know, a Bombay
mix in the front. I'm.
Sure, they don't sell this here at the theatre.
We get we have similar problems you see and then but it's hard
for you travelling because if you now you've got kids all over
the world. Yeah, yeah.
What do you mean? Now you've got kids.
Oh yeah, I've got kids, not kids in different countries.
All right. Yeah, there's one.
One country, one wife. My kids are one wife, two kids.
One wife, two kids, same woman. Same woman.
How? I know it's crazy.
It's crazy. How did this happen?
And you're such a young man. Yeah, I know.
I'm 23. And and you decide to settle
down. Yeah.
Why didn't you stay on the road and get multiple women?
Not my thing, no your thing. Sorry, I'd I assumed something
there. You see, I assumed and I do
apologise if I was wrong. I said women, yes, I like.
I could have made a big mishap there.
No, I am actually, and it's a brave thing to say.
I'm actually straight. We'll, we'll.
Cut that out. No, please don't.
We'll change it. Please don't we need to get?
Views. Yeah, I'm not kind of dull like.
Normal. Heterosexual.
Heterosexual, married, two kids. Are you trying to get work in
this business? Are you trying to get yourself
cancelled? I'm going to see how this goes
for now and then if I need to change things up in the next
couple of years, I'm, I'm more than willing to do that for the
benefit of my, of my career. Yeah, but yeah, I mean.
I'm not even Indian. Represent.
I know I am. You're in.
I know I am. That's something I'm really
going out with this. Year I've been Indians before it
was fashionable. Yes, yeah.
Yeah, you're young enough. Since birth.
Since birth. 1970s. I was born.
Yeah, it was not. At some point in that decade.
It was not fashionable to be Irish either, Yeah, especially
in London. No blacks and dogs, no Irish.
That's why when my dad was trying to get accommodation,
those were the signs. Well, I thought you were going
to say he was putting it up and he was like, it's insane.
Let me just write No, he was the the, the stuff.
And I grew up like so many Irish.
So many of my dad's friends were Irish because the the pubs.
The pubs Yeah, yeah, yeah, pub. Scene that.
Kilburn Rd. Place did not have a load of
pubs like. Irish, all Irish, yeah, all like
Kilburn, Kilburn High Road and most of the Irish people came
across from Ireland and went to Kilburn.
I live not too far from there still, so it's pretty much
still. And there was a big nightclub
there, an Irish nightclub that my friend's mum used to work at.
It was the biggest Irish club on Kilburn High Road in in the 80s
and 90s. But yeah, the Irish, have they,
they had a tough time and that was when Liam Neeson used to
live in in London. Yeah.
Do you remember he did the interview about the Kosh?
Yeah. I'm surprised he he came back
after that I'm. Surprised he said it.
I'm surprised he said it firstly.
Because he wasn't even really it wasn't like they that someone
went, I've heard this story. Can you say that's true or
false? Off his own accord he went.
You know what's crazy? Yes.
I got a kosh, yeah. Also, what an old school weapon?
A kosh, yeah. Which is like a steel bar.
Yeah, we used to walk around with Kosh is back in the days.
You did too. Well, I I didn't, but I'm going
to say that just. People did, yeah.
You know that that film Yeti with Gary Oldman, that football
hooligan Yeti? Oh.
I used to hear a kosh and smack them.
See, I'm in the football factories.
My generation. Oh, that's way.
Hooligan movie. Yeah, something I'm thinking
about getting into. Football, yeah, it's not as
fashionable as it used to be, but.
I think with all trends are going to come back at some
point, should be nice to get in at the start.
I think if you and I, yeah, maybe started a firm.
But you do look like you could come across as a football
hooligan. You've got the look of a foot.
You could you could play many parts.
Yeah, well, I've been saying this, but casting directors
don't share your opinion. Really.
I've done like, sex auditions in my life and I got my first call
back about 3 weeks ago. Oh yeah?
What for? I didn't get the role.
It's a, it's a big thing that's coming out.
It's, it's a new show and I had to do my audition when I was on
holiday, a family holiday in Tenerife.
And there was a bit of a lag in the Wi-Fi, which is purely what
I'm putting down my not getting the casting for.
But I, I auditioned for Derry Girls, a few things that haven't
come out yet, but I, I'm in this weird thing where at least
that's what people are telling me.
Maybe they're just being nice. I go for rules that are my age.
But you can play any age though. But then this is the thing at
the last minute they go this recent, more recent thing, they
were like, they just don't really think you look right for
this role. But then they're not putting me
forward for roles of guys who are 30 or early 30s.
So I'm only going for roles of guys in early 30s.
But I'm not getting it because they say I don't look like I'm
in the late 30s. But yeah, I do look like I do a
better stand up. I used in the last show about I
could be any age and nearly any nationality.
Yeah, you could. You could play.
Polish. Indian.
I would. Easily.
I mean, I don't know if I would get counselled for it, but I
would definitely do that. So many actors did it.
Yeah, Peter Sellers, where he was π Indian.
Yeah, Ben Kingsley. Bet he's half Indian.
His full name is is not Ben. His real name actually isn't Ben
Kingsley. What is it?
Krishna Bandit Bungie. That's a way cooler name than
Ben Kingsley. Use that one.
He he said that he's he's agent or someone at the time said
you're not going to get parts with Krishna Benedetto Bunji.
So he called himself Ben Kingsley.
He could have picked anything. It's half, half Gujarat.
Like my name's so on exotic she and Todd 2 syllables 2 first
names I would love. I'm going to whatever his real,
I'm going to change my name to that well.
My name is Paul Chowdhury, right?
Yeah, but that I didn't change that.
My full name is Taj Ball singer Chaudhary.
I would kill for that. I would kill for that.
If you see it's fashionable now. I was pre pre diversity quotas.
Yes. And you, your name, Paul
Chowdhury, feeds like a name you should only say as a full name.
Yeah. Paul Chowdhury.
Yeah. I will only ever call you Paul.
I would never call you Paul. Nobody ever does.
You're Paul Chowdhury. Yeah.
And she and Todd's a little bit like that, too.
Or Todd Barry. Yeah, it's another example.
I've been on his podcast actually.
Oh, OK. Great comic.
Great comic, I did a zoom pod with him during COVID and it was
one of my worst ever pod. Performances.
Why is that? The time difference, it was kind
of late. He's like a low energy guy.
I didn't really, just over Zoom, I couldn't get that connection,
you know? I went to his flat in New York
and his cat was there. Yeah, he's a big cat guy, and
it's a. Big cat guy and but it's much
better. See, podcasts are very weird,
aren't they? Now it's who hasn't got one.
I know Ben Kingsley. I was just about to say Bamajeed
Bhandari is he could have a podcast quite soon.
Yeah, The way things are going. Yeah.
And going up for auditions, as you say, it's like entering the
lottery. Yeah, I just, I will.
I feel like it's an ongoing thing that I've accepted it as
like it's funny, but I'll never get and I'll never get a role.
I just don't think I will. Well I was up for doom like 3
times. Recall off and then how many
auditions for Pirates of the Caribbean?
I did a whole routine on it because they wanted me to be an
Indian pirate, right. So you got pirate Barbosa is
looking for deckhounds and I'd do all this and there's no, no,
I'd like it more Indian. And then you'd have to go by the
Barbosa. And I did this whole just
winding up. See, that's the voice I did for
dairy girls. So it's you do why I didn't get
it, Yeah. You would have been great as a
dairy girl. That's what I said.
You look, you could, because do you shave?
Sometimes very like. Would you look like me if you
didn't shave? What Indian?
Yeah, like this. Beard.
Oh, here's I shaved three days ago.
Three days ago, yeah. Yeah, I shaved 2 days ago.
Not clean. Clean.
No, you didn't. Yeah.
This is 2 days of growth. No, because we're a mustache.
There's no way. And the mustache.
I could get away with not shaving because I'm I'm quite
fair haired, you know, Good hair, though.
I'm delighted with it. You're.
Never going to go bald. I'm delighted with it, as you
should be too. No, I mean this is this is a
comb over. OK, no, but it looks brilliant.
I'm delighted with this hairline.
But honestly I always said if I get the 40 with anything hair
wise I'll be I'll be buzzing. You're still a young man, 37
years old. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Still a baby in my my eyes. Yeah, yeah.
No, I'm I'm I'm happy with my hairline and I think generally
in life I'm pretty happy, but I'm a.
Happy guy, you're not a hairy guy.
Slightly more than you'd think, but still, in the grand scheme
of things, not a lot. Yeah, I'm probably, I'm probably
average for white. Right.
Being a white guy, yeah. I hope you're enjoying the
podcast so far. Just a reminder, this show is
brought to you by Mrs. Elswood Pickles.
Now bringing punch to your podcast.
Mrs. Elswood Pickles are packed to maximize freshness and
crunch. Back to the show.
Mike Occasion of White. You're kind of like almost an
ethnic minority because you're Irish.
I know. So you're not white White.
No, I'm off white. Yeah, you're an off white.
You're like. Cream.
You're right, Mike. You know, like the office.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I am, Mike.
Yeah, I used to get that right. I thought, oh, is that a
compliment? As if that was a compliment.
So it's a racist compliment. Because sometimes you try and I
know I, I as well, like I'll admit, I would do stuff like I
live in a very small town and it's not that diverse of a town
like Hollywood. But if you see anyone from a
different race, you give them, like, a smile and a nod, and
that then feels wrong. Yeah, you're like that.
That will make someone feel uncomfortable.
But you do like a purse of the lips and a, you know, I'm in a
cafe near or whatever you would get if you were in Hollywood.
You get a lot of this. You get a lot.
Of that people just shake your hand.
But yeah, good work. I I was on the way of, I could
have become a household name in Northern Ireland at the time.
I was getting booked on the blame game so much.
Yeah. And playing, you know, the
biggest venues. Yeah, but it doesn't take long.
But that's most people's dream, isn't it?
Yeah, as a comedian. Is is who wants to be?
But then I tell people from Southern Ireland and they said,
well, you haven't performed in Ireland, in Ireland yet.
And I, I, I took that as an insult.
Yes, on behalf of your people. Yeah, like they said, but you
haven't done Ireland. I said I have.
And they said no, that's not Ireland.
It's where it gets complicated. What do I say to them?
You well to follow my thing of when people ask what religion
you're, you just say, you know what, you're right, you know.
Northern Ireland is Ireland. What's the Republic?
Well, here's the thing. See, if you're speaking to
someone who's very sees himself as very Northern Irish and
Unionist, you really aren't that up.
And you're like, yeah, you're right.
Make courtesy of the king, Yeah. And then you drive into the
South or whatever, or you're speaking to someone from a
Republican or nationalist background, and then you're
like, yeah, you know, fuck the king.
Yeah. So you you say whatever you need
to. Have some tourettes.
To sell tickets. I drive to Colerain and you see
the murals on the walls. Yeah, and they're still.
They were there at the time. I don't know if they're still
there. Yeah, they're still there.
Yeah, most of them, probably every once in a while in
Northern Ireland somewhere, they'll be like they've had a
grant to paint like some like, you know, doves on this or
something instead. But some of the murals on both
sides are are brilliant like. I was outside the was the town
hall in in Dublin and and the bullet holes are still in the
posts of on the pillars. The GPU from the from the
British when they tried to shoot.
There's a post office now, isn't it?
It, it was the GPU, the GPO, Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And the the British trying to they shot they she's.
Still rising? Yeah.
See, there's another thing. They kept the bullet wounds or
the bullet holes in? Yeah, they haven't got rid of
them. Yeah, haven't filled them in
with some plaster. But that's the council for you,
isn't it? You know, it's like potholes.
You've got bullet holes. How long is it going to take?
To drive over. You know, yeah.
You damage your car and yeah. I like when people in TikTok do
like fill in their own potholes, you know, like fuck the council.
And then they try. They're trying to do a good deed
and risking their lives to fill in a pothole.
And then all the comments are like, mate, that's not going to
stay. Rod Stewart did it down his Rd.
didn't he? Did he?
He's filling in his own potholes.
Because apparently all the residents had a problem because
their Ferraris were getting damaged by potholes in some part
of Surrey and they filled them in themself.
Right. Rod is doing it like what was he
filling it in with? I don't know, it's probably wads
of cash. Money.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw him recently at the
boxing. Oh yeah.
I was at the Chris Eubank, a friend.
Chris Eubank junior is a friend of mine, so I was at the fight
with Connor Ben and Rod Stewart was there at the front.
He's really committed to that hero, hasn't he?
Like you think at some. Point he was a massive racist
early on. Was he massive racist way back?
There was a documentary I was watching about how he kind of
cited the Enoch Powell. All right, I mean that that is
picking aside. So did Bowie.
Really. David Bowie and Rod Stewart's
were on that kind of rhetoric of when Enoch Powell did this.
Was what, 70? 67 He did a speech, Rivers of
blood and at that point only the Sikhs were already here and it's
and lots of some Indians and Hindus.
And they were drunk, so they weren't paying attention.
We, we, you know, so we, we just bottle them like.
See, with stuff like that, I go, what's the need for you getting
involved there? But he quickly kind of shield
away from it and I'm sure they they buried that somewhere.
Right, right, right. Yeah.
But it's it's incredible, like going back and I'm sure I'm
going to get a stick for even saying this on on the Don't Ask
for That podcast about Rod Stewart and David Bowie.
Yeah, I'll get a stick for it. Rod Stewart's comment underneath
it. I'll fill you in like a pothole.
I might be able to take him on now.
I would say if you keep at a distance, yeah, if you keep it
at any of you getting close. I think he's Caddy, you know
what I mean? I think he's going to scrub and
claw. He's very old now.
But I think if you just, if you just keep him back and and, and
the longer the rounds go on, the more I'm favouring you.
You've had a lot of fights. 22 boxing matches.
A real ones recently. Yeah, yeah, 1-2 years ago and
year before that with comedians, charity boxing.
Oh really? So who did you fight?
From from a friend, Johnny Beau for the first time, and then my
friend Sean Haggerty. How did that go?
We did the Ulster Hall in Belfast.
Ulster Hall. One of the best nights in my
life. Both of them were absolutely the
adrenaline of being so out of your comfort zone as someone who
doesn't fight and like is not into that at all.
And we did 2. They were for charity and we
raised loads of money and it was it was see the training and
stuff there was such fun. How?
Many rounds. We did 3-2 minute rounds. 3-2
minute rounds and it's brilliant.
People don't realize how tough that is.
I was I play football so I would have been fit going into it.
And you were 3435. Yeah, and I thought 3-2 minute
rounds like, but no matter, you're dying by the end of it.
Even after 2 minutes, 2 minutes is a long.
Long time a long time a. Long time and three of them,
yeah. I don't think most human beings
could do that. No, but I, I loved it and I've
kept the training up a little bit.
Like do a little bit in the in my gym, but it's it's a hobby.
I would definitely go back to. I wouldn't do another like white
collar type of fight because I feel like.
Head Gods. Hey, God, yeah, I feel like we
got it. I got out of my system.
It went well. Leave it there.
But I would definitely keep up the boxing training, a little
bit of sparring and stuff like that.
I would do it again. I loved it.
I thought it was really, really enjoyable.
I've been around a lot of boxes and they come to shows and
stuff. And I, I, I went to the
celebration party of Lennox Lewis after he beat Tyson years
ago. Evander Holyfield was there and
everyone's there. And one, one time I did a show,
I used to do a lot of shows in the black circuit.
And the security guard was, I think it's Francis.
He fought Tyson. We're going back around 1520
years. And he said to me, Paul, how do
you do what you do? Like don't you get scared of
doing stand up? Because I used to do this just
stand up in general. I was like, mate, you fought
Tyson. What do you mean?
How do? I been killed.
The worst thing we're going to do is get like someone with
their arms crossed. Well, he's also a heavyweight,
right? So he's he could kill me.
In terms of kill each other, he's probably got a better
chance than we have. But how people think egos can be
more damaged than your physical? 100%.
Yeah, to damage someone if you get knocked out, it's that they
can deal with that. Yeah, they can't deal with being
mentally destroyed. Yeah, yeah.
Or indifference is sometimes harder to deal with than
physical. Criticism.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we put ourselves on the
line on an emotional level. Yeah.
You know, when you get a review and and it can affect you coming
up through comedy? Yeah.
You've been in comedy family. Yes. 1819. 18 That's a long time
you see and, and it's taken you a while to get to this level of,
of being on the don't ask for that podcast.
How do you deal with the criticism and and the comment
sections? I think because I started so
young and so long ago, I was exposed to it from when I was a
kid, almost a teenager. So I remember at the start, if I
was putting sketches on YouTube and stuff you would get you
would get good comments and bad. And I think that's the thing
that still surprises. I'm surprised people are
surprised that they get negative comments.
It's like you if we can't accept it's back, good and not bad.
So I got over it so long ago. I.
Think there's a lot of attention seeking online?
Yeah. See, back in the old days, if
you were a psychopath of some sort, you would look for John
Lennon and shoot him in the back.
Yeah. Now they've got TikTok, you can
make a video about something. It may be a safe haven.
You know they say don't legalize pornography.
There was an argument but then it could save women on the
street if we have pornography and then someone would argue it
makes it worse. The comments section and when
people turn off their comments, they know what's coming.
Don't turn them off. No, no, of course not.
It's like holding in a fart, yeah.
Yeah. It's going to come out
somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shit yourself through your nose. You've got a good nose for
boxing, you see. Yeah, I appreciate that.
You've got to be careful when you've got a nose.
Oh. No, this has been broken.
I thought you were joking, and I was.
It's a good nose. Well, it's not straight if I was
sitting, if I was looking at you straight on.
Your nose isn't straight, but you are.
I'm I'm straight. My nose is gay, I would say.
I would say I have my nose. My nose has been broken playing
football before. How did you break it doing
football? A guy, I went up for a header
and the guy did noise behind him and he went to flick the ball on
with his head and it just, and you know what, stand up is the
reason my nose isn't straight because I got an operation to
reset it really. And they put these little
plasters the whole way down it. But I had a gig that night and
my friends were like just fucking do the gig without on
and address it at the start. But I just there was like 20
people at this open my gig when I was new to stand up.
I went Nah, took them all off. See, you've almost got like a
nose, which is like a nose. You know when you see pictures
of noses I. Have a Roman nose.
Yeah, that's people say. Like a real like it you'd see,
you know, like. This started off as a
compliment. Yeah, it's a compliment.
Well, you know, I have a deserve a Roman.
I do have a Roman nose. What's a Roman nose like?
Like a Roman helmet. No.
Like if you turn it like, you know that you see the side
profile of people on Roman coins and you're like, you know.
It's a good nose. It's a good nose for a Roman
coin. It's a very good nose.
I would buy those that nose if you want to sell that nose.
Over yours. Yeah, I don't.
This is a busted nose. There's no bone in this side.
Serious. There's an empty nose.
I didn't know that. Nobody knows that.
They do not. Well, your nose now.
So you had a bone in your nose? Not not that kind of bone, but
I've had like 2-2 operations. This started growing that way.
And then because I had got a sinus condition, I've got Qatar.
So and then they tried to shave this bit.
Yeah, not, not near Dubai, yeah. This.
So I've got Qatar in my nose. And then as you can see, this is
just I, I put this one on in the morning, right?
It's not even straight. You see, you've got like a
proper nose. Yeah, I appreciate that.
Thank you very much. That would be putting on a
poster. Good nose.
Yeah, the nose on your. Core yeah, you've got like a a
mid Michael Jackson nose, not a later 1.
No, no, no. I know you don't want an early
one. No, you don't.
You want this is like you want that 1994 Michael Jackson nose.
This is like a mid operation in Michael Jackson.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you think of the film
coming out? Was there a Michael Jackson film
coming? Out.
Oh, you didn't know that? No, I don't I, I, I.
You're a bit. It's a bit.
You're too young for these things, aren't you?
Well. It wouldn't have been for him.
I think with the film coming out about him, give us like a real
movie about him. And it's going to be one of
these ones like the Elvis movie where it goes top guy, good
singer. But also, you know, he married
like, didn't he marry a kid and all?
Priscilla Presley, you met her when she was 14 or something?
You need, you need that if you're going to do a movie, do
it right. See, this was the whole thing
with Philip Schofield. He, he, he met the kid when he
was underage and then they said it was grooming and then he got
with him. That's.
Celine Dion's I remember Rene husband.
She was like, I don't know, 12 or something when she met him.
And then he's like conveniently we, we fell in love the day of
her 18th birthday day. He's like, that was the day we
fell in love. And that's the age of consent in
America, right? So.
Big Renee like. But Celine Dion's got a whole
heap of problems now. I.
She's got that stuck disease or something.
She's got a What's the condition?
Definitely, I'll call that. She's got like stiff Oh.
That's right. That's right.
Stiff nose disease. Yeah, that's what I have.
Yeah. Yeah.
But that was, and I feel like it was years ago.
People were like, she's struggling, stiff person.
I do. I've heard of that before.
It's all coming back to me now. Stiff person syndrome.
I used to have that when I was. Watching porn.
Yeah, I used to get stiff person syndrome.
Come on. I'm sure that's going to offend
a lot of people. She had, I didn't know, I didn't
know she she could get that she I thought it was only men that
got sick. She had some great songs. 01 of
the. Best that one album in
particular. Unbelievable.
Titanic. No, it was the one, that's all.
Come back to me is on. Yeah.
And you were my breaths when I couldn't breathe and all that.
Oh yeah, yeah, it's a weird one. Not stiff person syndrome, but
you got to look after your health man.
You know, I think new boxing is a dangerous.
I did a reconstruction for die hard a few Christmases ago when
and they were we were re enacting the stunts from die
hard. So you jump off like this crane
and fall onto your back and another got this mad whiplash
from it and the. What was it for?
It was it was ATV Show the Sky where we'd re enact the stunts
from that. We built the sets of Pinewood
again and then I jump off buildings and stuff.
And was the money good enough or it was worth money was?
Yeah. Not worth the whiplash.
OK, what? What kind of money is worth it
anymore? 70 grand.
Well I'm thinking like how much is if you're in like a mini bus
accident in school, you're getting like 15 grand for
whiplash. Have you been her at work today?
That sort of thing, yeah. Can't, and you can't because you
have to sign a waiver if you die on this set.
Yes. We have the right not to be
sued. Yeah.
But yeah, so you're going to, you're going to be touring
quite. So you're in London at the
moment? To probably be over.
It will be actually, Yeah, saying that by the.
Time. You know what?
Can I tell you something? Yeah.
I don't care about Plug and I'm just happy to be here.
And you know, I can't believe you know how long we've been
trying to get you on this podcast.
Days. You come on, Ryanair or.
Pardon. I told you straight.
I was on a EasyJet. EasyJet.
I was on the EasyJet. A terrible flights.
They, there was a long time where I flew EasyJet where they
were always delayed. But I've got to say, recently
easyjet's been doing all right for me.
So when I get in the shirt and I shot it.
Ryan is. It's probably worse.
Yeah, Ryanair, your your knees are in your at your ears like.
At one point he wanted to put standing toilets.
And pay for the toilets. And pay for the toilet standing
seats. It was, wasn't.
Standing seats and you would pay for the toilet.
And then he did AI remember I did a joke about this because he
did a statement saying Asian men should be searched more than
white passengers before getting on my flights and I said even
terror your flights are so bad even the Taliban wouldn't take
your flights. Please brother don't send me on
the Ryanair. I will get on any flight.
Please not the Ryanair. And actually, this was a few
years ago, wasn't I think David Bowie before he died, Yeah, said
that was he agreed with that. He agreed Ryanair policy.
Yeah, he agreed. And.
But did he say if he's out? If he's out a pocket for him?
Feel like he's normally just being cheeky about cost cutting
things and that's pretty wild from the be like.
But seriously, check Asian guys. Check check them.
They should be double checked. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I have problems getting on those flights.
Yeah. And Aer.
Lingus is good. Yeah, I know, Aer.
Lingus is a touch of. Now I know you're a straight
man. What's that?
Because of the. The Lingus thing, I like that.
And touring with Kevin Hart, I was.
I was told that that's a triggering topic.
It's not triggering. It's more just like, you'll know
what I mean by this. There's only so many times I can
tell the story, you know, and then I and then people are like,
we've heard this before, you know, I.
Haven't heard the story yet. We did like 24 shows.
Together, yeah. I wouldn't even say together, I
just opened. You opened for Kevin.
Yeah, he was shooting a Netflix movies in Belfast for three
months. Right.
Which film was this? It was called Flight.
Oh yeah, yeah. There was a moment where one of
the first shows, all the directors and producers and cast
came to the movie and I was like pretty nailed on for them to ask
me to be in this. And then after the show I was
like, hope you enjoyed it guys. And they were all like, it was
great. And I went, come on.
And they were like, no, see you later.
There's no offer to be in the movie.
But yeah, I just feel like I I get asked about it because it's
obviously so odd that an Irish comic would have done these
shows. Where was he performing then?
Intimate venues in Belfast, the limelight in Belfast just to and
then we did the arena in Belfast, Arena in Dublin.
Kill time. He was developing in New York,
right? But then I got to be fair after
that, about six months after that, I was in New York, and he
had a show the same night as I had a night off.
And I emailed my American representatives at the time.
And I was like, look, I'm only saying this to rule it out
because it won't happen. But could I jump on that show
with them? And they went, yeah, he says,
yeah. And then they cancelled that
show, I think because I had asked to do it.
But he'd been filming somewhere in the city, and he was supposed
to do an intimate 3000 seater, and they cancelled it on the day
because he wouldn't have made it in time.
But that would have been unbelievable to do an American
show with him. You know, how great.
But but yes, I don't want people to think I'm constantly talking
about it just sometimes feels like something you should bring
up. And it's a cool story.
Yeah. But but yeah, did a load of
shows and it was great because I got to see his R develop because
I watched nearly every show, right?
And you see it from the start and the little changes he makes
and it was great. Yeah, I I performed with him
first back in O7 when he came to London.
I used to do shows in the black circuit and this guy called
Kevin Hart was coming and only the black community knew because
of soul plane. Yeah, of course, of course.
And I opened him for him at the time and a bunch of other black
comics. Richard Blackwood was on and
and, and no one knew. And then the next thing he
became some. Whenever people have performed
with me, they've gone on to huge things.
Do you think they're they're calling you the springboard?
I, you know, I'm, I'm the kingmaker.
Yeah, which is better than the human springboard kingmakers, A
way better nickname. Exactly.
I would love to do those black eggs.
I would love to do them. And now they're very different.
Now it's all kind. See, they created that circuit,
like the Jewish circuit in in America because they wouldn't
get booked on the main stages. So they created their own in
America, they had BT and they have these black channels and
networks because they wouldn't get booked by the main circuit
and and the main mainstream industry.
So is it last kind of underground now?
Almost. Oh yeah, yeah.
Now it's it's quite gentrified yeah, but still there are
issues. I I'd I'd still think there are
issues and me performing an island I've I find I'm welcomed
without open arms. So and then he went on and he
used to live with a friend of mine in in New York, Patrice
O'Neill, when I used to perform with him back in the day when he
first came to to London. And but you know, that's what
what an experience to to do I I never really opened for many
people coming up. I have always done it and love
doing it and will continue to do it.
It's weird performing in to someone else's crowd.
They're never really there for you, right?
No, but I think sometimes that can work definitely against you,
but sometimes four times when it's like, oh, who the fuck is
this guy? You know, when it goes well,
they're like, God, that was great.
Exactly. But but you're right, I've
definitely experienced it when you walk on and they go, we
don't want to see anyone else but this guy.
I did Tim Dylan show in Belfast and even though it was my home
crowd that I think there was a bit of a thing of like, fuck
off. We're here.
We we've seen you, you know, so I'm, I'm a little bit wary that.
He's here again, Like, yeah, I did the yeah, but you also,
you're reading a lot of books at the moment.
Yeah, getting in the books. You're back, back in them.
It's good books. You know some of them.
How many pages do you manage to get through?
In a in one sitting, yeah, 12. That's remarkable because when?
I was high it's. High Oh, you think so?
When I was young, people would read a whole I don't know if you
know about this your generation when a whole book.
Yeah, like we'd read a whole one of these.
This is nostalgia are. These yours did you bring.
These are all my books. I brought them in.
Now. You could just swipe these away.
Yeah, you can't swipe these. No, no, no.
You wouldn't even know what to do with it.
So when you turn a page, do you do that or do you turn it?
I'd be I would turn quite gentle.
Yeah, because you, you, you guys, Gen.
Z. Do you think I'm not Gen.
Z? Gen.
X. Millennial.
Millennial by maybe even before that.
Oh yeah? Oh yeah, you're not Gen.
Z. Yeah, born 1988.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm the Windrush
generation. You think I was a bit my around
my era? I just like that word.
And then I didn't realize there was a Windrush line on the
train. Yeah, Now there's a Windrush
line. I like that on the tube.
I like. That it's a nice, it's a nice
word. Yeah, Windrush, Windrush.
So now when you watch a film and it has subtitles, even if you're
watching in English, you can say you've read a book.
Yeah, Yep, you can double up. You can just double.
It I found out my mate Calvin, he's over in London with me.
He does my videography stuff. He he listens to an audio book
while he's reading. While he's reading along with
the books, Yeah, it's a good idea, isn't?
It no, there's something where I think devil worshiper.
That's kind of like watching a film with subtitles.
But he's doing the book version. Yeah, to make out he's clever.
Yeah, it's a great idea. If you want to read a book, just
get the audio book and then and the book.
And it's a hack. It's AI.
Feel like you don't need one of those Isn't necessary.
And you you have a problem with about sharing food.
I just hate the concept. I'm a very, I would say I'm a
very not for me to say I'm a very generous guy, like would
share whatever, but I don't like this thing of like, sometimes it
works out great. So me and my wife are getting
the Chinese. I get salted chili chicken and
chips. She gets honey chili chicken and
fried rice. And then we mix those four
things. But that's our system.
I, I don't like the idea of we go to a restaurant, right?
And I've ordered something and you're like, oh, I'd love to try
that. I go, well, you get it too.
And you go, no, but I don't want that much of it.
I'm happy to pay for you to get it, even if you're going to need
a tiny bit of it. I've got the right portion size
of what I need. I don't like this idea of, well,
I must have a little bit of that.
If we're at BBQ restaurant in Texas and I go, I really want
the brisket and you're ordering ribs, but you want brisket and I
want ribs and we make a deal before we order.
Great. But when the food comes, don't
start. This is the borders thing.
We've already established an international border.
Don't try and renegotiate where that border is.
What I'll do with that is when I talked about the troubles, I'll
cut that bit in and put the two together.
Perfect. It will come across as so
controversial, yes. And potentially could start
trouble again, Yeah, yeah. But that's the that's the
trailer. Yeah, and that's the world we
live in. I'm going to now engagement.
I'm going to do ABBC on you, Yes.
I'm going to cut the middle bit out.
Yeah. And you could be the Irish
Trump. Yeah, yeah, we've we've this
could make you. Or break, Yeah.
Yeah, I made Kevin Hart a lot of these.
I used to gig with some of the biggest comics in the world who
are now superstars from you name it, you name it and I've gigged
with them any any comic. Lenny Bruce.
Bit before my time but. She had any comic.
Prior we could go to because his daughter rain prior.
Yeah, but you can't say you've gigged with.
Him technically a part of the seed.
OK, who do I really like? I really like Joe List.
Joe List I think I've gigged within in the cellar.
I like Tim Dylan. Tim Dylan, you.
Want to go a little bit more old school?
Yeah, these guys are new compared to I'm old.
Colin Quinn. Colin Quinn I've met briefly.
See, but I haven't. I'm actually trying to think of
people you will have gigged with.
It seems like I'm trying to think of people you wouldn't
have closed. Trust me, I am trying.
I just can't think of any comedians.
Because he used to do tough crowd with Keith Chegwin.
Keith Chegwin, you. Done anything with Jagger?
'S she's now no longer with us. That's right.
I did Knowles house party. With Jaggers.
So you're doing nothing with Richard Pryor's daughter where
I'm like, if you get Keith Chegwin, you've gone.
I've done Knowles house. Party.
So I've done Knowles House party, yeah.
That is actually big like. That, that was big.
Was Blobby knocking about? Mr. Blobby days, but this was
the. Gotchas.
Blobby. He, I yeah, he was in the room.
I did a gotcha for Frankie de Tory and Mike Reed and Mr.
Blobby came into the room and he was chegwin in the suit.
Mike Reed has some thoughts, too.
Yeah, Mike Reed. But again, he's like, but it's
in a song, so it's not. I'm not really saying it.
What song was that? Maybe I'm thinking of the wrong
guy. Mike Reed from EastEnders, who
was also a mainstream standard. Shout out to my grade, not the
guy I'm thinking of at all. It was no longer with us.
It's my grade, Frank Butcher. Yeah.
Rick Butcher. Oh boy.
Ricky Ricky, not even thinking of it all.
Sorry. That also double s up as a Beppe
Beppey. He Beppey was in it, but yeah,
most of the people are big with the dead now.
Yeah, the springboard. Sometimes into death.
Into death or stardom? I want the stardom, please.
Russell Brand started with him, right?
You could be the next big comic. Kitchen young cheggers.
You you you got a young cheggers vibe about you, no?
Take it out. Check cheggers is that he never
got cancelled. He well.
He drank a lot. Of the ultimate cancellation and
yeah. But it wasn't for anything
suspect. No.
That was a great entertainer. Right.
Yeah. Which is what you are.
Thank you very and soon to be after the release of the Don't
Ask Me That podcast. Yes.
Well, I I think we've. Am I the best?
Am I the best ever known? The Irish guest you've had on?
You're the best ever comic that's been on this podcast that
I've never heard of. Come on.
That that it doesn't. Get better.
That's replacing the quote in the poster about my nose.
That's the. Best nose that's ever been on
this podcast. Yeah, and nobody knows that.
I appreciate that. I don't like that word play.
You know, I just want to say, Mr. Todd, Mr. I don't know if I
should call you, Mr. Shane or Mr. Todd.
No, I just go Mr. Shane Todd, is there anything I've missed out?
I do a podcast. Called Tea with me, I know Tea
with Me podcast. Going lots of clips all over the
algorithms yeah I get ask clap videos and you're.
I would really like it if you would come and do it next time
you're breakfast hundred and you could come to Hollywood.
I can't. I'm going to fly.
Over just for that and apologize.
And and make an apology to the people of Northern.
Ireland in town. Square for calling it a show.
We do, but we don't use it. I'm sure you're going to take
out the clip from this one, put it in that one and saying that
today we're going to be hard. Yeah, hopefully I'll get
cancelled because cancellation just makes you bigger.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and then I'll be selling
the arena in in Belfast. Yeah, Capacity 400. 400,000
capacity The entire population of Belfast.
Tower population of Belfast is. A million.
No, when? Probably not far off.
It's not far off. I have no idea.
I just want to say, Mr. Todd, thank you.
What an honour and a privilege to have you and the Don't Ask Me
That podcast. I cannot wait to come to
Hollywood and Belfast and further afield and to be and to
be a guest on your synonymous podcast, which is called.
Tea with me. Tea with me, a big, big show.
Tea with me. I'm a big fan.
Mr. Shane Todd, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you, Mr. Paul Cherry. Thanks for watching this podcast
so far, hope you're enjoying it and if you are, leave a five
star review, drop some comments. I might even read them out in
future episodes and give you a shout out.