It's a Kiki with Johnny McGee. Gonna spill all that tea.
All my LGBTS. You're in love because Johnny
the government is gay as fuck. Hello everyone, and welcome to
Gay as Fuck. I am Mr. John T Mcgoverness, he
who is baby Summer is summering. And let me tell you, I flew into
the heat of summer because I flew to the East Coast, to New
York City this week, where not only was it summertime, but it
was sweltering summertime. And I was acting like a youth
and a native New Yorker, as I am, and I made.
The mistake? Of taking the subway a lot.
Because I realized now I want to be a Wendy Williams style woman
who only takes car services. That is the custom.
The life I've been accustomed to and tromping around New York
City and my giant Balenciaga sneakers all the way up and down
to 149th St. and down to everywhere.
Else with a. No, no, I was sweaty, I was hot,
I was humid, and I was wearing giant shoes.
Those shoes are meant to go from the limousine to the party, not
from your hotel to the street to the subway stairs to the subway
platform to the subway to the other stairs, up a hill, up
148th St. around the corner. No, it was not.
And why, pray tell Johnny, we're in New York.
And why were you thinking you had to be all cute?
And why your giant Balenciaga sneakers everywhere?
Well, look, thing is, is I flew up to New York City for a very
quick trip to go to the celebration of life of the one
and only beautiful Coco Haviants.
And the invitation said wear your most wild, colorful best.
And I wanted to do the spirit of Coco Avian's proud.
And I wore my JCRT multicolor Plaid and I wanted to gag the
girls with my Balenciaga baked sneakers and the ask Coco would
want me to. They said bring it.
I brought it and they couldn't carry.
In fact, they is me. I couldn't carry because it was
very hot trying to get there. Look, I got the whole story.
It was a beautiful ceremony on this celebration of life of my
dear sister Coco Aviance. There was laughter, there was
tears, There was there was a lot of emotion.
There was Kevin Aviance saying this the only person is where a
tree branch and make it look hot in a fall season.
Coco was the best most beautiful drag queen I've ever known in my
life and a beautiful person. We lost her too soon, but this
was a great time to be able to live in her memory.
So look honey, if you want to get into it, get personal with
me, hear all the details as well as more in the field recordings
I made of all the homies there. Then you can join me over at
patreon.com/guess of All Time. But honey, what it's time to do
now is talk about what we're doing on this show this week.
And I think you can be sure, because all of you say, kept
sending me the clips over and over again.
We're going to be talking about Justin Timberlake's DUI and all
of the smugness that happened before, during and after.
Minute to minute. You've ruined the tour.
What tour? The world.
Tour the world, Johnny. The world, as Koko Aviance used
to say, Is Katy Perry's new era over before it began?
Is Disney turning their beloved characters into leather daddies?
Oh, I hope so. What gay porn are viewers
searching for state by state? I want to know what's perving
you in every single state. I'm doing my own deep dive to
find out all today. I'm gay as fuck, so let's get
into it. Get into it, into it, get into
it, into it, get into it. I mean, if we were all waiting
for something bad to happen to Justin Timberlake for you
embarrass him more fully after he was seemingly having kind of
a good moment with this world tour.
Well, King of Smug did it again, honey.
He gave himself and all of us another moment to relish where
his smugness was smuggedy, smugged and smushed.
I mean, people's headline reads. Justin Timberlake's arresting
officer reportedly didn't know who he was, and the Internet
can't stop laughing, Justin said under his breath.
This is going to ruin the tour, the cop replied.
What tour? Justin said.
The world tour. This is such a quote that Page
Six is now selling T-shirts that say what to her?
The world tour? Oh, the shade.
Oh, Justin. I mean, look, things were going
pretty good for Justin. I when I pulled into New York
City, I drove past Madison Square Garden, where it said by
overwhelming popular demand, we're adding another Justin
Timberlake show. And I said, sheesh, Well, yes,
things are kind of going good for the king of smug.
Maybe he's gonna be. Maybe he's smugging up.
But, and he probably was. I guess he was because while he
was nearby partying in the Hamptons, he was pardoning at
the American Hotel in Sag Harbor.
OK, this is where very rich people do very rich people
things, OK, And I guess he was drinking it up.
Jessica Biel was at home with the babies and he was probably
flirting and doing some being smug.
What can I say? He was wearing a lute suit,
flirting, being smug, and drinking.
I can't think of anything worse for for Justin Timberlake 42.
He's only 42 but for whatever reason whoever he was partying
with thought Nah he's cool to drive and didn't order him a
nice we're black or whatever the fuck you would want to get for a
celebrity honey. The cops supposedly did not
recognize Justin and did not recognize his name, which
probably hurts the most. Hurts more than getting
arrested. Guy that's gotta hurt Justin.
Now. Of course people have their a
famous a tweet that's now gone viral has now says gonna start
saying this is going to ruin the tour as a response to every
slight inconvenience in my life. Now, of course there's memes.
There's there's footage of Justin coming out of jail and a
still photo of a cop opening the door for him as he sort of walks
through. And of course, they've turned
that person that's opening the door into millions of people,
including Hey. Britney face.
Oh fuck. Oh this is funny.
This is good stuff. I bet you are laughing,
Brittany. I mean, you were pretty pissed
at him and everybody says you have a drug and alcohol problem,
but look who got the DUI, huh? Yeah, look.
You got the DUI. Oh, Elise, is he?
Wearing a loose suit. No, he was wearing like a big
T-shirt. Same.
Thing. What a dumb.
I didn't know. Problems for me.
Not a problem for me. I was doing fine myself.
Stupid idiot. Dump tour.
Run your towers. Run back here.
So Justin was supposedly hanging out with friends and then I
guess he was following his friends home and he supposedly
had run a stop sign and then was swerving out of his lane.
So they pulled him over and when he talked to them initially he
said I had one martini and I followed my friends home.
Justin's lawyer says that they're going to have a lot to
say about this story, but these are the officers notes.
His eyes were bloodshot and glassy.
He had a strong odor of alcoholic beverage emanating
from his breath. He was unable to divide
attention like following the finger.
He had slowed speech. He was unsteady afoot.
I'm glad that Robin Hood wrote this.
He was unsteady afoot. And he performed poorly on all
the standardized field sobriety tests, like, you know, touch
your toes, walk back and forth. I don't know.
I don't do the choreography from Slave for you.
Go that. Would be a good.
One Justin Timberlake was held overnight honey in prison.
It was murder in there in prison.
What am I talking about? This is like the Long Island PD.
So he was held overnight and before he had to go arraignment
in the morning, I put my. Finger in his ass personally so
I know. His ass was losing and he was
charged with a single count as DWI for refusing a breathalyzer
test and cited for the two traffic violations.
Now I always forget Justin Timberlake has fucking children.
Like live human ones. It's like if you once you got
kids can you stop acting like such a Dick?
I mean just go back to your smug dancing and don't drink and
drive Silas 9 and Phineas. Three, our names are so cute.
Daddy, why are you drinking so much?
Daddy. Daddy why?
Daddy, why? Justin was supposedly at dinner
with friends. Anyone who enjoyed downtime.
Daddy, why? And have fun.
Why, Daddy? Why?
Get it together, famous and rich people.
Just everyone who has money, have somebody call you a
limousine, a pink limousine. The way that people fucking
cover this story is just hilarious.
There's a whole article that says Gayle King weighs in on
Justin Timberlake's DWIRS with bold statement live on air.
Which is all to say is that she said Justin's really great guy.
Clearly this is not a good thing, period.
That was it. There's three articles that's
about Gayle King defense, Justin Timberlake as a great guy in USA
TODAY, Entertainment Weekly and Hello Magazine.
Wow, people are just writing articles about anything.
Oh, now it's on as. J as fuck.
Oh no, we're part of it. Oh no.
I told you you were stupid and the show was done.
Y'all just as stupid as Justin. The Sheen has worn off America's
one time Golden Boy, the latest to kick Justin Timberlake's ego.
The young cop who arrested him for DWI in Sag Harbor didn't
recognize his face or his name. Indeed, the 43 year old singer
is due to perform in Chicago on Friday, when we'll be at Madison
Square Garden next week. But he may not have his old
swagger, especially after his latest album Everything I
Thought It was dropped off the Billboard 200 just after four
weeks. The actor's career is not where
he thought it would be at this point.
The album didn't do too well and I don't see Justin getting big
acting roles right now instead of, well, plays Hollywood
insider. I think Justin has a bad
reputation in Hollywood for being a bit of a jerk and a pain
in the ass. And for wearing.
Loose seats. And being smug and making songs
about me when he should have apologized.
And for playing guitar when I was having a divorce.
That wasn't in the article. But yes, I mean, really, this is
just an opportunity for everyone to like, do the greatest hits of
all the things that's wrong with Justin's number, like lately.
Oh man, this is a whole article from on from Page Six about all
the terrible things that he has that haven't gone well for him
lately. And of course, they got to bring
back all the Britney stuff again.
Oh my God. Cancel the tour, cancel the
tour, cancel everything. Just cancel it all.
Just go home and be a dad. How about that?
Daddy plays. Yup, do that.
Do that. This is nothing's going to
happen to Justin Timberlake and the CWI.
You know, the tour's going to keep going.
It's just more embarrassment for him is what it was.
And I guess, you know, we can enjoy that.
Yes. We can, and yes we can.
You know, no one got hurt and that makes it fabulous because
the only person was hurt was Justin.
Stupid fucking he guy. He's smug, staying with me.
Smug, smug, smug, smug, smug. All right, Katy Perry's new era.
It's almost here. In fact, her video comes out on
my birthday and her song comes out the day before.
That's July 12th for any of you. Wanted to know.
Now for a while, I was a little surprised because I thought
like, huh, People seem to be like excited for Katy Perry's
new era. There's good vibes bubbling on
the Internet like, well, what will Katy Perry do?
Oh, mother, mother, mother. And I was like, oh, you know, I
never. Thought I gave.
A shit about what Katy Perry's next era would be.
I thought it was pretty much all done.
She did 10 years of American Idol or whatever the fuck and
she could just go take a nap, you know what I mean?
But then I thought. Huh.
Did she have some cute songs? And maybe she if she doesn't
dress like a hamburger for every fucking new era, maybe that'll
be kind of good. Well, she started dropping
pictures and people were thinking, oh, she's serving
cunt. Oh, look at that.
She's wearing Balenciaga boots. Wait a minute, is that
underboob? Is that a strong underboob Kini
moment that you're serving? Oh my God, Katie, look at her.
What is she doing? Who is she?
Who is this new woman? Who is the new era of Katy
Perry? And then she dropped her snippet
of her new song, Sexy. Confident, so intelligent she is
heaven sent so soft, so. Strong yes, as.
Everyone has noted these sounds like a tampon commercial, a
toilet paper commercial, or as someone on TikTok said,
something for the TJ Maxx changing room.
OK Katya played it on the Ball of the Beautiful with Trixie and
was not giving it vibes. Okay?
Thought AI had ridden it. People were roasting it on
TikTok and of course Kesha tweeted lol because Katie's new
song is called Woman's World. And who is it produced by?
Well, it's alleged sexual assault.
Doctor Luke. What were we thinking, Katie?
I mean, come on, honey, we know. Doctor Luke.
Can write some good stuff but you thought that you didn't
think there'd be a problem with writing something women's world
when doctor Luke has really been embroiled as being maybe non
star great for a woman. And The thing is some some of
our favorite stars have done the trade and they were like you
know what I'm just going to ignore all the the allegations
because Doctor Luke's songs are so good but honey not this one.
This is supposedly not even an original song written just for
you. This is supposedly an Ava Max
song that Ava Max decided she didn't want to.
Do and give. It to you.
Sexy, confident, so empowerment. She's on thinking that.
So strong look, I wanted to like it.
I was ready for under boob. Katy Perry giving us a little
more cunt. She's like, I've been a good
girl all these years on Idol. I've made small talk jokes with
Lionel Richie and old what's his butt, the country singer.
I've been as nice as I could and now I want to show underboob and
I want to be a fucking cunt. Just remember I when I cut my
hair, when I cut my hair for that song about shut the fuck up
bitch, sip sip bitch. What's it called?
Drip drip bitch, what the fuck is it called?
Not sip sip bitch. What is it that's going to drive
me crazy if I don't remember what it is?
Swish, swish, bish. Another one in the basket.
Can touch this another? One in the basket.
Swish swish bitch. That's what it's fucking called.
What you didn't hear, listeners, is me frantically searching sip
sip bitch in Google so I could figure out what it was.
Oh my God, swish swish bitch don't and look as long as she
doesn't cut her hair. I mean this thing with Doctor
Luke just seems like a huge in this era of everyone exposing
everything and everyone just feels like such a teeing it up
for people to criticize you to do Woman's World with Doctor
Luke, who's who's like sexy rapper man.
He. Loves to rape a friend.
That's not fun, Katie. Was that the original lyrics to
this song? He's a Salteren, that girl.
It's not cool. So I mean, it seems like just as
quickly as everyone's. Katy Perry new mother era KP sex
era mother. Is was here, now it's going to
be gone again. I mean, now they've released
this song is still just a snippet and other people had put
out some thought they heard the whole song.
Turns out it was AI. We can't trust anything.
In fact, this whole song sounds like it's written by AI, but
it's not. This is Katy Perry.
I mean, this is where we are now, everyone.
This is where we are. Katy Perry has a new song which
sounds like AI, but it's not sexy.
Confident, sexy, confident. So intelligent.
She is heaven sent. So soft.
It's so strong. Look, I kind of like it
actually. Well all we have right now is
under Boob and that one snippet of a song, so I guess wait and
see. But it's not looking.
Good, Katie. I hope.
You have something. More interesting in your pocket
though. I appreciate the under boob.
Now did you know you were being spied upon?
Well of course you did darling. And as them magazine called it,
yassified masturbation surveillance is happening.
Pornhub, as well as having porn also is licking at Haw.
And when I say huh, it's all y'all and what you like to watch
state by state so we can find out what gay porn viewers are
searching for state by state. And to be honest, I find this
very interesting. What is turning people on in the
homosexual world of these United States of Homerica?
Okay. Bareback is the reigning most
viewed category, with particularly loyal viewership
among West Coast and Southwestern viewers.
Interesting, the Pornhub did find a wide array of niche gay
porn searches across states, from grandpa jerks in Tennessee
to nude mirror in Georgia. These are gay term searched more
often in each state when compared to all the others.
Wyoming vintage Cowboys OK sexy Colorado mature beard.
You know we enjoy that because we have a mature beard New
Mexico giant cumshots Arizona riding dildo.
That's what they have to deal with.
All their personal politics and politicians riding dildo North
Dakota rubbing cocks together. South Dakota straight guy sucked
Nebraska mushroom cock got to have that mushroom cock Kansas
hairless twink of Kansas you slut Oklahoma chubby daddy.
OK we appreciate the shout out. Minnesota farmhand Iowa old man
solo Remind me to move to Iowa when I get a little older.
Missouri muscle man Wisconsin nipple solo Illinois hairy hairy
black. I thought that said hairy back
hairy black. All right, well go ahead.
Indiana underwear sex What Michigan farmer Ohio rimming
Kentucky gay cruising Tennessee grandpa.
Jerks. I got to get my grandpa jerks
videos in y'all. Alabama she's a basic bitch.
Cute twink Georgia she likes looking at herself nude mirror.
South Carolina another place for me to remember to retire.
Two older men and Florida as you would expect, feet worship
because they're dirty fucking foot pigs.
Pennsylvania Chubby black ass is number one or like the most
searched in relation to others. New York City of course.
Muscle bottom up girl Vermont amateur fat got to remember to
move there too. Hairy legs in New Hampshire and
Maine Hairy mature like we mentioned before.
Connecticut twink stretch Connecticut you nasty nasty
slut. District of Columbia guy taking
dildo New Jersey country boys, Delaware trans seduced and
Maryland. They want to look it, they want
to see it close, they want to see it real close close up cock.
And last but not least, we have Massachusetts likes an uncut
hunk and Rhode Island construction workers.
I mean. God bless, God bless us all.
Oh, Hawaii likes real cruising Alaska sucking nipples.
They like cold nipples to suck. I mean, I find that very funny
and interesting. I like all this information.
And America #1 bareback is the top term for most of South
America. It's twink with a little bit of
bareback down the South and it's a little bit of big Dick mixed
in. Now in Africa, majority black
and big Dick are some of the biggest ones, but also cream pie
hunks, cartoon twink and Asian. And then right off the coast of
Africa, Daddy, interesting Daddy slips in there in a couple
places now, all of Europe and all of China and looks like most
of Russia. Twink, wow, Twink is just #1 but
a large section. There's like a little section
between Asia and China mainland where cartoon is really number
one. And Australia, I just looked at
Australia, honey, what does she love?
Strike, guys. There, there, Strike.
Guys, we love them. We love them Down Under.
OK, remember when those people sued Madonna over having her
concert go on late? That was dumb.
But the finally it's over, but it's not settled.
And the don't call it a settlement is what Madonna's
lawyers want to say because the stars attorneys say the move to
drop the frivolous case was made unilaterally by Madonna's
accusers after they realized Honey they could not extract a
settlement payment from Medonta. She said no way, you
whippersnappers. There's no way you could get any
money out of me. Honey, I did this shore with a
knee brace on and I did it on Boniva and you think you can
scare me? I'm a.
Raver girl, I'm a young little raver girl.
You can't catch me. Have you ever heard of Ariana
Grande? I'm her younger sister, Madonna.
Hi. Have you ever seen a Balenciaga
runway show? That's me.
Every girl. Every girl.
I'm Madonna. Don't.
I'll go on when I want to go on. OK, Maybe I'm fucking a 20.
Two year old maybe? I'm fucking a 30.
Two year old boxer. Maybe I'm icing my pussy from
getting having all that happen. You don't know what I.
Do behind the scenes. I'll go on when I want to go on.
I'm a young. Girl, I'm sure my Madonna is
dead on I. Chattanooga Choo Choo I'm.
Young, I mean, God bless her, and she ain't letting these
people fuck with her with this stupid lawsuit.
The defendants believe this action was a frivolous strike
suit designed to force them to incur legal expenses.
And that's exactly what it was. The motion was to drop the case
and that each side would bear its own fees and costs.
Basically, like, nobody had to do nothing other than what they
already said they would somebody.
The reason why they originally sued was she claimed I had to
get up early to go to work and this like, really made me like,
be late for work. And another one said I was
really uncomfortably hot. And then Madonna lip sync a
couple of the numbers I made about it.
The third case, filed last month, echoed those claims, but
also said the. Show was unexpectedly
pornographic. Win win win.
If you don't like seeing my pussy then don't come to see my
show, yo. Oh, I go, I do outer all.
Day if you don't. Like to see my pussy then don't
come to see my show. Hey fuckers, fuck you.
I mean, exactly. Well played, Madonna.
I'm glad you didn't give them a fucking dime.
Fuck that. If you don't like seeing my
pussy, then don't come to see my show.
Yo, it's pride at Disneyland and it's time.
This is the time, probably when Daisy Duck is motherfucking
shining. OK, if you've ever gotten into
my past posts on Daisy Duck, Daisy Duck is Donald's
girlfriend. And if you ever watch footage of
Daisy Duck at motherfucking Disneyland, Daisy Duck likes to
turn it cunt. OK, Daisy Duck likes to give you
a now Daisy, Daisy, Daisy Daisy Duck.
Daisy Daisy Daisy Daisy Duck. She don't she don't she don't
give a fuck. Daisy Duck is always turning a
cunt. She give a look, she'll give
Ling. She'll do a drop, she'll walk
that fucking Daisy duck, if you know what I mean.
And there's a new character who is seemingly giving to you Tom
of Finland style, because Baby Stitch is dressed up as a
leather daddy at Disneyland Pride and he is dancing to Troy
Sivans Rush. Okay, he feels a rush.
Oh, I mean, and I'm seeing the footage right here.
He is in a full leather man's hat.
I mean like Tom of Finland X Disneyland.
This is a collab looks like between Disneyland and Tom of
Finland, honey. And here we go.
Stitch is ready for a night at the Eagle.
He he can be seen cheered on by fans, one of whom yells Daddy
pretty loudly. Leather daddy Stitch Stitch of
Finland doula preps commented. Stitch does poppers confirmed.
Well played doula prep. Well I like this.
I want to see more Disney characters out and gay and just
turning it. I want all the all the gay
villains. I want them to I want them to be
the new cast of Sex and the City.
OK. I want to see a Sex and the City
style girlfriends going out grouping of Scar Jafar Captain
Hook. Look at her.
Look at Miss Captain Hook. Look at her, look at her hat.
Look at her her ass Scott, look at her curls.
Look at the mirror on the wall. You know she's got a circuit
body under veil. Let her out.
Of the mirror for one night, I mean.
Tell Hades to put out and put his little flame on his hat and
get out here with Jafar and hit the dance floor with Scar.
Are you ready for some throwback Jade?
The Music Awards, we won't mention names over the American
Music. Yes, that some some stars step
on your foot. No, not even initials M some I
didn't even say excuse. You know what?
I I think that it was just something that they were going
through at the time becoming, you know, wonderful and
beautiful in the people's eyes. And they were just big and full
of themselves and figured that they could just walk over anyone
without saying excuse me. And I didn't want her to say
excuse me because it was Patti LaBelle because Patti LaBelle is
nothing. I'm just a person.
But suppose it was just anybody. Just say excuse me because it's
anybody's feet. But I had corns.
Don't you wear a tear, rat sweetheart, you know what I
wanted to say, and you think I didn't, did you?
I snatched this thing I said. Don't you ever do?
Anything because they aren't. You ever, I don't care how many
hit records you have. And what was the reaction?
She looked at me like I was crazy, you know, it was like.
Who are you? But no names.
But we won't do that. But God bless you Miss thing you
know Evan Small behind you and all those things may use so many
many more records which she will.
I mean, can't we all just if someone steps on our foot, we're
as rude to us. We can be like Patti LaBelle
talking to Madonna in the late in the 80s and say God bless you
Mustang. God bless you, Mustang.
All right, everybody. Well, I hope you enjoyed the
show. Do me a favour and leave a nice
fucking review, would you? I mean.
What else? What?
Why not? Why not stop right now and leave
a review like this? Motherfucker is crazy.
He's still gay after all these years.
There was a whole Netflix show about gay comedians and when
were we featured there? We're featured in a tiny montage
at the end. All that work for just a flash
in the montage. OK, we're just going to put one
foot in front of the other, sweetie.
OK, we're going to be happy that we were at least acknowledged.
But, you know, you could leave a review.
That would be nice. How about that?
Yeah. Or even better, say, fuck those
people who didn't give you a larger part in that Netflix
thing. And, you know, we appreciate
what we got, which is a quick flash at the end.
And join my patreonpatreon.com/guess of all
time. I'm talking about the my trip to
New York for Coco's celebration of life, the adventures, the
hanging out with the ambience family after my thoughts on the
Met Gala, Costume Institute, Sleeping Beauty, Sunny, we're
doing all of it. So get in.
Join me there, will you? Yes, that's what you shall do.
I'm going to hypnotize you with my voice.
That is what you shall do. It is what you shall do.
All right.
And I'll see you on the next episode of Gay as Fuck.
Bye baby. Somehow the fire is unfrol.
The tables were turned. Never knew I had had to listen
to love. I'm feeling good from my head to
my shoes. Know where I'm going and I know
what to do. I tidied up my point of view.
I got a new attitude. I'm in control
the.