It's a Kiki with Johnny Nick G gonna spill all that tea.
All my LGBTS. You're in luck cause Johnny
McGovern is gay as fuck. Hello everyone and welcome to
Gay as Fuck. I'm Mr. John to Mcgoverness.
He who is Well honey, it is a wild and crazy week for me
because I am prepping to host 7 episodes in Two Days of a Queen
at Drag Con. So I am prepping.
I am getting ready. I'm having my looks put
together, I'm having my face reconstructed.
Now I'll be talking to Jimbo, Shay, Coulay, Lalaree, Envy,
Peru, Ketamine, Lolita Banana, and the entire cast of House on
Fire. Baby, this is going to be wild.
I mean, these episodes are going to be shot in 30 minutes and we
got to get it in Wham bam. I mean, we've really have some
great shows planned, A lot of hot topic questions, lots of
games. It's going to be exciting.
Like I'm like, honey, this is what I really live for.
I mean, hosting the show on the floor.
I mean, they're building the set of the show on the floor of Drag
Con, which it's pretty exciting because years ago we tried to
price out what it would cost to really get and build up the set
of a queen at Dragon. So it could be like a photo type
experience. And honey, I think it was like
$25,000. I mean, it was going to be very
expensive because you have to have all the union talent bring
in everything and put it all together.
I mean, that was going to be expensive.
So the fact that World of Wonder is putting it together like this
for these live tapings is very exciting.
They're also doing tapings of, of course, bring Back My Girls
with the legendary TS Madison and Ravens touch ups and she's
interviewing and doing make up talk.
I mean that's the show that I want to fucking watch.
Love Raven. Now today you're going to be
getting a special Patreon preview of something real gay.
I mean something, yes, yes, yes, yes, also.
And even, I don't know if it's heart warming, but you know,
something's going to be warm. But before that, look, there's
one thing that I could not live without us being able to talk
about, which was Brittany's monologue.
Are you? Talking about my monologue.
Yes, I certainly am talking about your monologue.
Well. It's pretty great.
I think I might would have pulled.
Brittany, I mean, I know you like to stay off the mic, but
would you do us the honor of reading the monologue that you
recently posted to Instagram? I mean, it would mean so much to
the listeners and to your fans. Now we know that you hate my
fans. Yes I do.
I really do hate them. They love you so much.
They won't need this and do that.
You know what I'm going to do? Nothing.
I'm going to Grace. I'm going to take pictures of
Grace, OK? Oh, that's why I learned to
fucking Greece, OK. I also have mayor of prostitutes
in Greece, but you're never going to see that.
Why? Because I can keep a fucking
secret, OK? OK, but Brittany, can you please
give us the official dramatic reading of this fantastic piece?
I mean, I'm thinking of auditioning for Juilliard next
year and I'm going to do this as my monologue.
I'm. An author.
OK me on Broadway. Oh, Brittany, how about that?
How about that? I'm like a Maya Angelou.
Like a white Maya. Angelou Well, will you do us the
honors, please? Well, I guess I could come
closer to the Mac and not just like the old days.
I'm right here in the center of the ring, just like, all right.
Well, here's a little piece that I shared recently to Instagram.
Have you guys ever seen the movie Serendipity?
Kate Beckinsale? question mark. question mark.
question mark. Well, let me tell you, if you
haven't, you definitely should. Exclamation.
More exclamation, more exclamation point.
I adore Kate Beckinsale, especially because she's from
London. British flag.
I realized how incredibly cruel people were talking about her IG
saying she needs more age appropriate content.
She's in her 50s and I thought it was pretty badass how she
responded with a mini bow in her hair looking literally four
years old. Thumbs up.
Not as bad as some of my
comments saying it's sad that I'm as old as I am and dancing
every single day on IJ. Exclamation point number one.
OK, I hardly ever dance and number.
Two. I'm not poor at all.
I have more ligature in my left toe than any ground man or woman
on earth. And if you don't believe me, how
long do you think I should keep this going for?
Exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point,
question mark, question mark. In my transparent opinion,
wealth and health isn't relied solely on cash in your bank
account, which I have lots of that too.
Realizing my quest and my own fucking interest and how I
demonstrate and serve back these wise ass assholes just as Kate
did. I taught dance class last week
to a couple of teenagers. A lot of kids were too thin and
some were too big. I know what it's like to be
judged, so it's ridiculous and stupid subject initially, but I
think it's important to end caps, help each other, and
invite each other to places that have our souls grow.
It's good to see others doing painting class, dance class.
What have you seen lately? Question mark, question mark
question mark. What are you going to do to help
someone out and bring their dreams to life?
Despise being like me and Kate haters saying we're too old or
don't have the appropriate content.
Do you think perhaps they might be offended by what they see?
Would a condescending approach be better?
Like inviting those exact people to my class and letting them see
how my students are nourishing and living in camps their lives.
Question mark, triple exclamation point.
It's good for the soul, yet frankly it's not condescending
in caps at all. It's being dot dot dot dot dot
dot dot dot dot dot dot a smart ass and damn those are usually
pretty attractive. On the flip side, there are
actually people that do help others out and mean well that
don't embarrass and demoralize. Another exclamation point, Time
5. I personally believe that being
vulnerable enough to ask someone for inspiration or help
incredibly beautiful. But ironically in the world we
live in with how incredibly cruel people can be, yet be
extremely careful you allow your circle with your heart.
I didn't write this part but I mean like you Mama, you daddy,
you Jamie Lynn, you Sam Ascari, you Gardner, you guard.
I'm gonna do a photo shoot with Kate and tell the Osborne family
who's the most born family known to mankind to kindly fuck.
Off what? Brittany, what was that last
minute fuck you to the the Osborne family Fuck.
Damn, I want to let everyone know that I think they're
fucking stupid pieces of shit. Sharon, you look weird.
And I was in picky. Ozzy, he's weird and dumb.
Old. What's her name?
She's dumb. And Jack, he's dumb.
Fuck them all. The sister nobody knew.
Fuck them. Stupid Osbourne family.
Well, that's it. That's all you needed, I think.
See ya. Bye fuckers.
See you next week, you dumb bucks, stupid listeners.
I hate you. I hate you most of all.
John, Governor. I know, but listen up listeners.
This week on Gay as Fuck, I'm giving you another chance to
take a peek into the fun that I'm having over on the Patreon.
It really is where the joy in my life comes from.
The shows, the people that I'm doing the shows with on there
and the interaction of the audience there.
It, it is the most fun. You know what I especially love
about everything we're doing over there?
It's faggoty ass fuck. And so today I want to share
with you a special episode from the of the Patreon series Men or
G, where we do deep dives on all things gay, gay history, gay
life, gay culture, gay sex. And we are doing a deep dive
this week. Balls deep, one might say.
On to the gay porn classic big guns.
OK, me and Teddy Marcus talk about the men, the style, the
arc types, the dialogue bro, and the elements that made Big Guns
one of the greatest gay pornographic films of all time.
And if you like what you hear, you can hear new episodes of
Energy over on the Patreon, as well as, like, you know, just a
million other shows. I'm doing up to three podcasts
week with a lot of my homies from gay pimpin, Adam, Joseph,
Eric Couture, of course, Mr. Teddy, Margus, Julian, Brandy
episodes are on there. Old Linda James episodes are on
there talking to, you know, my homo.
Homies of all types are on there.
We're talking fashion, glamour, excitement, wieners, balls, man
area sexy stuff, celebrity gossip.
Things are rough, you know what I mean?
It's a rough time in the world, and if you need a little place
to take a brain vacation where we just talk about lots of gay
stuff and live in a fantasyland, then you're going to want to
come over and enjoy yourself and decompress your brain for a
little bit with me on the Patreon.
OK, patreon.com/gays of all time.
And, you know, there's like hundreds of episodes of just
delightful gay homosexual enjoyment.
All right, so here is the big guns.
Deep dive, balls deep. Let's get into it.
Get into it, into it. Get into it, into it.
Get into it. The
well, well, well well well well well.
Welcome to another gay tastic episode of Energy Energy, the
show where me and Teddy go deep on everything gay and especially
dirty gay stuff. Balls deep, Johnny, we go balls
deep. Now, this movie really is the
reason why this show is what it is, because we started with
international mail and then we said, God, we need to talk about
big guns. And then we said, wait a minute,
that's a whole show, us talking about inappropriate gay stuff in
detail in the dirtiest detail. And because we're on Patreon,
there's no haters to worry about.
We can be as as gay inappropriate as we want
thinking. As dirty as I wanna be and we
picked the right film, Heller. Oh did we ever.
Ladies and gentlemen, today on Menergy we are going to be
talking about the classic Catalina adult gay masterpiece.
Big guns, honey. When you say masterpiece, you
are not lying. I I watched it again after so
long and it's, it holds up and it's brilliant.
It's not only is it brilliant, but the acting is top notch.
The stories, the story is classic.
The the, the, the, the, the looks of the actors, the bodies,
the we. We all have all seen gay porns
where you don't get all those bad story but hot people you
know interesting concept but the guys aren't hot enough.
Well in Big Guns they did it all and this music will set the tune
the. Tone for.
A William Higgins production Big Guns.
And they're not joking about The Big Guns starring Mike Henson.
Mr. Mike Henson. Now I think this was made around
87. Am I right about that?
Yeah, 87 it came out in 87. Catalina video was like at the
top of their game. William Higgins directed pretty
much every porn in the universe. All the good ones, all the good
ones. And Mike Henson, like, he's in
every scene. Like it's so funny that you're
like, oh, they know Mike Henson. Oh, there's Mike Henson.
Oh, you look, Mike Henson. William Higgins, the director,
was responsible for some of the greatest porno movies of the
century. But it's so funny because when
we look back at this movie through the the the sands of
time, I thought this was made in the 70s.
It wasn't until recently that I realized it was made in 1980.
Motherfucking 7. It looks and it feels like a
time far gone from that even. It's so good.
It was so good. What else did William Higgins
do? I know he did big guns because
this is a masturbatory classic for me.
And then he also did the Young and the Hung, which would told
which I will tell you changed my eye when I saw it, I said this
is what I'm interested in. I see.
Ah, very nice, William Higgins did.
He did Boys of Venice, which is that was like late 70s.
He did one called Pacific Coast Highway.
And it was like about these hitchhikers, you know, trying to
hitch a ride in Malibu, man. And then they get to the Malibu
mansion. They're like, we're bored.
It's raining. Why don't we just fucking do it?
OK, Let's do it like perfect. Like you can't.
His scenarios were perfection. He wasn't afraid to have
brothers have sex. OK, that was a theme.
And a lot of his other ones. I think one of his movies was
called Brothers Can Do It. Yeah, yes.
It was actually he just, Oh my God.
And then he became like a mogul because of that.
Like he just, it just became like a whole studio system.
Right. And then he was.
These were when these porns were made, when porns were still shot
on film. Yeah, where they and they, what
do you call it? They like gorilla filmed it in
the Palm Springs Hotel, like every hotel that they have been
in, every single one of the Williams Higgins production.
I was like, oh, I know that hotel.
I was in there. Wow.
Really, really interesting, right?
Of course, because they were here in Hollywood, probably.
Yeah. And so a Palm Springs really
like when there's even a scene in Big Guns where they're going
to Palm Springs that literally looks no different than it does
now. I was like, wait, this is 87
Palm Springs. It has not changed an iota.
I mean, now these now big guns, I mean, we should we just get
into it? I mean, there's just so much to
say. The stars of big guns are so
hot, so classic porn and they have a variety of sexy men of
different types from twink. To daddy, you, you name it.
It runs the gamut from trade to nerd to school to paperboy.
I mean, it's all of it and all of these.
Classic tropes is what William Higgins put in his movies.
It was like the paperboy fucking the client, brothers fucking
each other. Military, of course.
Shooting range. The shooting range.
I forgot. What about that scene?
Hello. Of course, that's one of the
best ones. That is one of the best ones.
It's so good. And you know, I've gotta say
this about William Higgins. Like the way he directed it, it
was it was just, and the performers were just, they knew
what they were doing and they knew how to do it.
Take the opening scene with Mike Henson is laying in his bed and
he's waking up and it's so hot, like he's wearing his little
tighty whities and he's turning all around.
And when he gets up and decides what, he says something like
it's too fucking cold to go to school and then gets undressed
again. But as he's bending over the
chair to look out the window, he does this arch with his back and
his butt hole spread. You're like, this is perfection.
I mean, yes, the actors who starred and started the music
came up again, 'cause I was trying to, I was looking at all
the different stars. Interesting.
OK, I mean, we're talking about just these now.
There's not one big story in this movie.
It's not like they're trying to do some boring story.
They are. They are doing they're, they're
following one character, but we only really know about him is
that he's a sexy guy. He's on leave from some sort of
the base or barracks or something.
Right. He's a military guy on leave.
Now it's like this. Little.
Bro Mike Henson to the people, Teddy.
I mean give because I'm staring at him right now.
He's just showed me his hole. He is he's a lean, tight,
perfect swimmers, tight body, a little bit of muscle, light
dusting of hair. Currently he's he's nude, but
he's like he he to look out the window where he'll show his butt
hole. He puts on his socks, which of
course are the long kind with the stripes because he's cold.
So he's got a he's peeking out the window.
He also doesn't even sit down to put the socks on.
He literally can balance on one leg and put his socks on.
And I was like, you go Mike Henson, your flexibility is just
phenomenal. He he's giving you a tanned body
with the classic perfection of the underwear tan line.
He's got that. He's such a typical, I want to
say 80s, but it, well, I guess it could be 80s, the typical 80s
hair, but he's got that smolder in his eye.
That's just these dark, beautiful eyes.
It's too cold to go to school today, but it's never too cold
to Jack off. I wrote that down.
Wait, I literally wrote that down verbatim in quotes.
Too fucking cold to go to school.
It's never too fucking cold to jerk off.
And then he he jerks off in a manner where he he just is
humping the bed to give us all so hot, beautiful view.
Of his never regions. It's so beautiful.
Which are. Beautiful, you know.
Should be made into a sculpture if you're talking about a
perfect hole. A showroom noon, never to shit
hole right it is it. It's smooth, it's clean.
How old balls better? Than during the making of this
like 25 or something. He was born in, He was born in
63. And so this was 87.
He was 24. Yep.
All right. OK, He's just, he's got that.
He's kind of got like he's like that bad boy, frat boy, kind of.
Yeah. It's like Poppy.
Frat boy of the 80s 'cause he has a big bouffant.
Not a bouffant, but like that. Blow dried honey.
She's blow dried. Cut his Dick is big but not too
big, but you know, certainly in perfect in proportion to the
rest of his stunning. Body I when this came out I I
liked him and I thought he was cute.
He was not like my favorite and I know he pop but when I look at
it now, honey, this is classic adult porn perfection to me it
is. I mean, you not since Miss Joey
Stefano hit the world. He'd been so enamored with a
perfect. I mean, he starred in a lot of
these William Megan's once, didn't he?
Yeah, in the in the Hung too. He was in, he was in Nevada
them. Because William Higgins used a
lot of these same guys in all the movies, playing always these
different arc types of porno maleness.
He was uncredited in power tool. Now I don't know if you know
power tool. I'm aware, but the other tool
might not be. Power Tool is Jeff Stryker's
big, big claim to fame. Like the big budget, The biggest
budget? Ever pornography, ever, ever,
ever. And then he was in, you know,
young and the hung and he in hot pursuit and he did a lot.
He did a lot. You know what?
The thing that blows my mind because I I knew a couple of
porn stars of that era, of course.
This is when talking with a senior really has its benefit.
I'm they would only not Mike Henson at this point, but
literally gay porn, you know, exploded kind of around this big
guns era and they used to only get paid per scene.
It was still the way it goes. Really.
Still. Yes, steady they were probably
making big money compared to what they make now.
They would not. And since the only it's not
since the only fans revolution that porn stars are making any
money. In fact, they probably made more
per scene in this era because the profits were bigger.
Probably. You're probably absolutely
right. And so he's in so many scenes.
So for this one movie, he did pretty well.
I mean, again, he got no royalties.
If we're going to break down the illusion he got no royalties, he
got nothing for this. He probably made like 2500 bucks
or $3000 eighties money which is more like almost 8000 or 10,000
now now but like he never got a royalty for this shit.
So you know we are enjoying ourselves on the back of the
frozen youth stolen from Mike Henson and all the rest.
Yeah, but they had a damn good time, honey.
And they had good. Doing it, yeah.
Look, it just, you know, it just is, it's just, it's, it's
perfection. And he was perfection.
And he did he he gave you quintessential gay male porn
star. He's currently on my screen
giving quintessential gay male porn star.
What's he doing on your screen right now, Johnny?
Busted a load, he busted his load 'cause he's like, I'm not
going to school, I'm so erotic. I'm gonna hump the bed, I'm
gonna toss all my hair around, I'm gonna eat my own cum, I'm
gonna do all of it. That's And that's just what a
normal 80s frat guy on leave from the military does.
And even the way I'm glad you said eat my own cum, even the.
Way glad you said ate my own cum.
Even the way he did it, it was just so natural and organic.
It wasn't forced. He'd like reached down, picked
it up, and he gently grazed his tongue with a.
Cure. He's curious.
He's a young man now. I am watching him get dressed
from this session and the camera starts on his perfectly arched
back as he slides on his jeans. His acid wash jeans.
And what does he say, Johnny? That's fine.
What does he say? I just.
Missed it, he said. Well I'll tell you I wrote it
down and he wait a SEC. He put I, I, oh, I noticed that
he puts the tank top on it's winner.
Hello. He.
Puts the tank top on and he tucks the tank top in.
OK, so good. This is a if you have the.
Body for it, it's a great outfit and then he says something here
he's about to. Say too cold for school, but it
ain't too cold to hang out to go hang out.
To go hang out. We all know what that means.
Because This is why I thought this was the 70s, because this
was just, it was just living. OK, Now we're in another scene,
Summertime. It's a different character.
It's a young blonde twink type in a matching, almost a jumpsuit
look. It's a it's a green earth green
shirt, earth green jeans. Loafers.
White socks and loafers. He's Michael Jackson And then
wait, wait till Heath comes around the bend from the bike.
He's got like a Fanny pack on or.
Something. Oh, he does.
He does. He's coming.
What? What?
I don't remember what happened in this.
His butt hurts, remember. And he goes tell to tell Mike
Henson why his butt hurts. Do you remember why his butt
hurt? Watch it.
Well, I was out collecting the debts on my paper route and
well, I finally got hold of Mr. Egan.
He's never home to the airlines. And I finally caught him and I
came in and he had me sit down on the couch.
So I did and he, he started writing his check for me for the
money he owed me. And he sat down on the edge of
the couch and he wasn't wearing anything but a robe.
But when he sat down, it fell out.
But I'm almost sure he did it on purpose because.
He. He's not only hung, but it
looked like a deadly weapon. Oh.
My God, it looked like a deadly weapon.
And well, I couldn't help but stare and he caught me looking
at it and I had to give him a blowjob.
You want it? Sure.
Yeah. Mr. So and So was not worried
about sexual harassment charges now, so here we are.
So Mike Henson is now we find out he's roommates with another
sexy young man in college who who's wearing like who comes
home in a pink like polo with the collar turned up and he's
telling him about his paper route.
OK. So this is questionable,
obviously and. He's the paper, but he's the
paper. You know what?
What blows my mind is I completely thought this scene
was I, I remember this scene because, first of all, Chad
Douglas, I can't. I love it.
I love the way. Describe Chad Douglas for those
who aren't familiar. Can I do it and and Chad Douglas
is such a typical like he looks like a village people person
like from the 70s almost with this curly thick black hair, a
almost a handlebar mustache, but trimmed you know from 70s into
80s hand the mustache bushy, hairy, thin, muscular.
Lazy looking lean. Talk of death.
Thank you very much Long. Face not ugly, but not quite
attractive. Right, exactly.
But this was, at the time, my favorite scene in the whole
freaking film. And I thought he was a pizza
boy. That is a different film, Teddy,
and that is called the Pizza Boy William Higgins, and that is
also William Higgins, and that also is worth its own show
because it the lines, the sexual archetypes, the classic tropes.
Yeah, it is 'cause I think it's Chad Douglas in that scene as
well, and he flips the guy over the table and fucks the pizza.
Boy. And it's like a paper boy.
There's a. Lot of like all these essential
workers used to get benefits. And Chad Douglas was famous for
saying shut up and suck. Right.
Chad Douglas seemed like your Uncle Vinny's friend.
He wasn't ugly. He wasn't whatever.
He was long and hairy, long in the face, big kind of poofy
hair. But when he took that Dick out
of his pants, the Dick was a monster.
It was he was hung, he was hairy, he was horny, baby.
And you know, they he played this role in multiple films and
now I never really always found him that appealing.
But the paperboy goblin, a gigantic cock is appealing no
matter who the cock is attached to.
But this is where I think William Higgins shines.
The scenario is you get off on the scenario, even if they're
not your favorite looking actors.
Right. This is where this is where you
Teddy, you're so right. This is where this movie shines
is because we've seen these tropes millions of times in
porn. But when it's done, it's such a
good, well acted. Manner and believable.
With all the things and I mean just done so well, you're like,
this is the hottest thing I've ever seen, though you've
probably seen the customer in the paperboy a million a.
Million times. But like Chad, Douglas is in
that white robe. He's got nothing underneath it.
He turns around to give them the right to chat.
He sits on the edge of the couch.
And then? Just with the full.
Robe open and the robe opens. I mean, how many little boys
thought of that? And no matter who it was, you
know, whoever your dream man was, you're like, right?
Exactly. It's a, it's a classic, you
know, male, gay male trope in your youth when you see somebody
stick by accident and they, they play off those type of things a
lot in this movie. Yeah, and this has What's this
kid's name? This kid's name is Kevin Wiles,
right? He was fine, but because there's
another super bottom named Kevin in this movie, all others are
eclipsed by the beauty and grace of the the one that comes at the
end. But we do get some very close
up, kind of like gaping whole shots of this kid.
Oh, this is a like, this is like a meeting at the at themen.com
HR. They're like, what did we get on
back on that? Teddies alternate life is like a
porn producer for a studio. Well, we've got a lot of great
gaping hole shots, which we've seen the numbers, people love
them. We round the numbers through the
gaping hole computer and this is what it's at An average of 14
and half of gaping hole shots in the entire film, mostly in the
Chad Douglas Kevin Wiles scene. Kevin Wiles is though very
appealing sexy fake blonde of the era.
The styling of him in the pink polo with the collar turned up
so perfect. A win to win.
It is a win and a half. It's flawless.
OK, so of course the paperboy gets paid by his client and.
Then what is What does Kevin Williams say the ending line is?
Oh, the perils of being a paperboy.
I mean, I haven't seen this in a minute, this scene, and it's
good. Oh, he's wearing on his shoes.
What are those boat shoes with the the little rope on the
outside? Oh, the docks.
Docksiders, and he's wearing them, and now he doesn't have
socks on. He took his socks off, but he's
still wearing his Docksiders while he's getting fucked on the
countertop by Mr. so and So Who works?
Who did? Who wouldn't even pay his paltry
bill? Cash, I guess.
All right. Yeah.
He had a check. He paid him with a check.
Oh, Chad Douglas, I miss you. Chad Douglas is the part of the
other part of the Chad Douglas. And I'm looking at Chad Douglas.
I'm saying, you know what? He is a handsome man.
He had a mullet, a baby mullet. So the IT was a regular fluffy
80s haircut on top, blow dried. But at the bottom, the mullet
was just like little curls all the way across, so it gave him
an extra sleazy touch. That he was definitely sleazy.
I mean, he was perfect for these roles.
Perfect. Absolutely perfect.
Well, oh wow, he really did put it in.
I mean, I'm now seeing all the different angles and it's big.
It is big. William Higgins likes to get
every angle of his boys being plowed.
William Higgins was an artist now?
What the fuck? Why did William Higgins move to
Czechoslovakia? Do you know the story?
I don't know this story, but that would be a good deep dive
one day too. Just to do the whole listeners,
William Higgins who made these great movies at one point picked
up and moved to the Czech Republic or one of those things
and now exclusively makes porn there.
So that feels shady to me in some.
Way his most recent I couldn't. Find anything on a quick
Internet search? No, his most recent one was
called Double Check 2009. I mean, he did go to the place
where the most handsome men are in Eastern Europe, where like
that Bellamy type of guy is like just walking down the street.
But it does. It lacks the charm and the
everything of his earlier work like it.
Well, he he says here that in something that I'm reading right
now, it says that his that game porn movies were so bad that he
just said, screw it, I'm going to make them myself.
And it alludes to some sort of the legal climate in US is what
made him move to Amsterdam, where his distributor was, and
then later relocating to Prague because it was cheaper.
And then when the laws in the US change, he just said I'm not
coming back. Well, he probably made a wise
decision, didn't he? I think so because he could live
in a. Frog it up.
I mean, just off of big guns alone.
I, I I know. He was not making any money from
big guns either. Chichi La Rue bought the
Catalina catalog and I think she was getting all the money for
that. Come on, She she girl.
Maybe he got he must have some kind of ownership in it, but I
would assume after all these years, it probably went through
so many different hands. Who knows?
That's a paper trail of billing that would be difficult to
navigate. And I do remember that, you
know, I used to, you know, watch Catalina and William Higgins and
then there wasn't Catalina, William Higgins.
Then it was like William Higgins presents like.
So something went down for sure. OK, now here we are at the next
scene, so let's hear the dog. Oh yeah, he's still coming.
OK, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's
coming, he's coming. Afterglow, afterglow, he's
coming again. Shoot whipping the come around
guess. You have to say that the perils
of being a. Paperboy.
Oh wow, Oh wow. Now they're leaving the house.
Mike Henson's wearing the tiniest denim shorts and a gym
bag. I love him.
And now we're in a new scene. 2 new characters.
We're in a loft apartment with windows on the ceiling and brick
on the wall. So good.
Definitely a a Catalina Studio exclusive apart.
Right, OK. And we meet two new guys.
We don't really know much about them, so here they are.
So you. Want to be here?
Yeah. He's laying on his friend's bed.
What did he find under the pillow?
This is my protection 40. Five, it's a gun an.
Issue really? I'd learn how to use one with
all the crazies running around. Now they're on the shooting
range, they go to the shooting range.
They these men are both extremely handsome.
OK 80's porn archetypes. Cheekbones, blow dried hair,
perfect bodies, skin supple mask for mask.
Totally mask for mask. Square jawed.
Shooting guns in tank shirt. They look like, they're like,
you know, the stars of the wrestling team grown up.
This is like these are the hot jocks of the military.
That's exactly what they look like.
They also look like the cover of International Mail.
Hello. They're of course really
beautiful. We like this aesthetic, so now
he's has his arms around him and he's showing him how better to
shoot and he's helping him at the shooting range.
Once again. Sexual tension is big time here.
He's really impressed with his buddy.
There's another fantasy come to life, you know, with his arms
around him, grabbing his, you know, triceps.
Right. It's a very like forbidden,
because obviously they're just two straight Bros.
But as he's shooting, he starts lightly rubbing on him in a very
erotic manner. Down to his stomach and then
he's going down even further. Crotch, crotch.
Now he's grabbing the whole crotch.
So there's no more secrets in this relationship.
But the other guy keeps shooting because he's not going to
acknowledge it right now because he's deeply closeted up.
They're kissing on the range. You know, the woman who works at
the range is like, I've seen everything.
I've seen it all now. Once again, another great shot
of the two of them kissing, you know, touching, feeling, going
down there. They're.
Making Now they're back to the apartment and they are taking it
to another level. I mean shooting guns makes you
horny. They're horny for each other,
their unspoken passion. They've been showering together
for years, and finally they can do what they've always wanted to
do. Lots of hull shots in this scene
I wrote down. I've got a couple notes.
Lots of hull shots in this scene, so that's a power.
The gaping cold, the gaping hole counter has the count here.
I think there's 3 1/2 at this seat.
Right, and there's just like there's a lot of like undressing
of like, you know, the pants down to the tighty whities down
to just covering the Dick down to revealing all and then he
starts to suck his Bros Dick. I mean, this is just the
perfection of the the bodies is like wow, wow, true.
And then what I also loved was you didn't know who was going to
fuck who. You were like, wait, okay, who's
going to fuck who, right. Except with the Chad Douglas
Kevin wow scene. But every new in this scene,
This scene, yeah. This is what the scene is all
about. That and showroom new holes
because the holes are showroom new.
Did you see the whole shop? Oh yeah, I'm looking at one
right now. It's a, It's A and you're like,
that hole is direct from the store.
They just ship, it's never taking a shit at.
All not even taking a shit. It's the perfect.
And of course, while he's sucking his Dick, you know he's
naked. His buddy has pulled his tank
top over his neck. Classic look.
That is such a good look. And then he's wearing his.
What do you they're like international male foreign
lesion pants? Wearing a foreign because the
friend now goes down starts sucking his Dick, but the
military pants that he's wearing are extremely detailed.
They do look like a an international male exclusive.
I mean, this is a good scene I'm telling.
You This is a great scene. It is.
Now this, Now we get to the bed and the power struggle here is
what is interesting because as we, the audience, are not sure
who's going to fuck who, apparently our characters also
don't know who's going to fuck who.
And they would get some gaping hole shots from the other end
this time. But the the person whose
apartment this is is seeming like he's taken the lead.
The guy's still wearing his white socks.
He's lining himself right up. Yeah, did you see the the boob
stains on the bed? I'm obsessed with them.
He's still wearing the tank top over his shoulder.
He'll never take it off. Now there's a line that's coming
up that is is a classic line. I'm trying to wait to see when
it comes up because of course I found it very erotic at the when
I first saw this because he's fucking his buddies, fucking his
buddies, got his socks on the tank tiles rolled up over his
head and the guy's taking it for some of her his first time
taking a man Dick. He's doing well.
He's doing a good job for first time.
We can guess that this isn't the first time for the two of them.
OK, the music is fading again. We're seeing perfect buttholes
in every direction. Perfect buttholes in every
direction. Now he's fucking him.
He's going deep. I think this is where the line
is coming up. It's a classic line.
You love it, don't you? That guy says that a lot.
This is like an ASMR moaning podcast right now.
Not hating it, just. Waiting for this, for the line.
It's so good when he's really bringing them home and they're
both still wearing their socks. Which was so hot.
I mean, and this guy's got another big one.
Yeah, and the squirting is wonderful, very powerful.
The. Powerful squirting the powerful
squirts of these two actors. The I mean again, remember this
was before Viagra. This was before like they had to
like do this for a long time and just stay in the morning.
Collapse on top of one another's.
Side I mean wow OK I did not remember the mega the mega jizz
explosion. Yeah, that was that.
Character, I mean, like, it's really he should, they should go
back in time and give an Oscar for best jizz.
Best jizz in a movie from 1987 goes to I mean, so they're
taking it home. Where is the line I?
Don't know, but you know they do it again, right?
Yeah, of course. That's where the line comes up.
OK, They're jizzing. They're jizzing, they're
jizzing. Now he's lying on the bed.
He's like, no turnover. I'm going to do it again.
One more time. Going in.
Sorry for all the moaning, but I'm waiting for this line,
OK? Because he's really banging him
hard now and he's slapping his ass.
Did you hear that, Teddy? What'd he say?
He said don't hit my ass too hard or my girlfriend or wonder
what I've been doing. Yes, thank you, William Higgins,
he wrote it as well. This buddy doesn't care.
Fuck your girlfriend, man. I mean, don't make my ass too
red. And then he just really.
He's bringing it home. He is bringing it home.
Oh wait, what did he say? I think he says something like
give this to your girlfriend. This is what you love going up
your ass, don't you? It is the Jeff Stryker school of
you like this, don't you? That happened a lot in these is
this era of films. Yeah, absolutely.
And that was the. Internalized homophobia,
everyone. If you weren't wondering, that
is the internalized homophobia of where one person is like,
yeah, you like this, you dirty little fucking faggot.
Yeah, I do like it. Fuck yeah.
You know, that's all internalized, but it's part of
the it's part of the world. I mean, it's part of this world
in particular. Well, I mean, think about it
though, because what, you know, we, we were repressed for so
long that when you got to be free and and fuck around, the
fantasy of it, you know, surpassed the the reality of the
situation. And then then once again, these
were made strictly for for fantasy.
Hello. Agreed.
OK, so now they fuck, they fuck twice.
They're like, fuck your girlfriend man.
They're in the loft. The Loft has an art of like a
fish of a surfer. A cowboy.
OK, now they fall. They fall on the bed.
Yes. Fade to blackened.
Oh. OK, so now that was just that
sequence. That sequence is over now, it
turns out. Mike Henson our.
Star. He's back.
Is back now. What is the name of the actor
who is the blonde in the bed with?
I tried. I don't know, I tried to.
I watch the credits so many times that I can't.
I have it off on pornhub and I think they say who the I can't
figure. Out who it is.
Kevin Wilde, Johnny Davenport, Kevin Williams, Mike Henson.
I think it might be John Rocklin.
This is. Yeah, I thought, I thought that
too, but John Rocklin, I looks more like the other one, but
they kind of look so similar. I couldn't, you know, I'm.
Pretty sure that this John Rocklin is the guy we like.
Do you like this? Don't you, that guy?
Oh God, Now I'm just now it's an Internet hole because like I'm
going like, you know, anything you click on one of these sites,
it's like you're down a hole of like webcam holes and Dicks and
then pussy somehow get in there and you're like, oh God.
Well, don't make me wait for the next scene, Johnny, please.
OK, well here Mike Henson comes to visit his friend who's
playing laying in bed with his a gun and his underwear.
So here's what happens. I'm going.
PS. My tension just late, you know,
sits on the bed, relaxing in his friend's loft where he just
pounded out his military. But.
Yeah, I love what happens next. Out there in Palm Springs.
About time to take a dip Ready Johnny?
Please. OK, now we see a 70s sitcom
style mother and father with son come into the hotel.
Look at the way this son walks with the like the suitcase like
so. Oh, honey.
So the parents in this scenario, because we our heroes are, are
at the table drinking Pepsis into Palm Springs, their shirts
off and they see like literally like GAIL Gordon and Ethel
Mertz. And like GAIL Gordon, the dad is
wearing like a a bucket hat, sunglasses, white socks and
white shoes and like a a safari shirt and short ensemble.
The Ethel Mertz lady is wearing a 50s style day dress with a big
purse and a big duffel and a floppy hat.
So perfect and this thing is just trailing behind.
Heaven, what's his name again? Williams.
Kevin Williams plays their 18 year old son, I guess we're
going to say, and he is following them into the motel
that. Guy's a.
Hot number. Huh.
That guy's a hot number, huh? Then we get back to the comedy
of Mom and Dad and they're very handsome son, though they are
not very attractive. And they can't.
Their dad's had trouble getting into the hotel room, which makes
me laugh. Now our heroes are out by the
pool and they are lurking because of course Kevin Williams
is going to the pool in a white Speedo and.
To do like gorgeous white. Now Kevin Williams is giving you
the epitome of eternal twink, California eternal trink cherub
sex doll. Yep, all those things.
Yep, innocent. I don't know.
Hey, I'm going to go swimming. I'm just here with my parents.
Perfection. Right in my white Speedo no one
will notice me. I can get them 100 bucks.
Betcha I can get them now. This is where the film takes a
turn into things which people might not appreciate.
Today's world impersonating a massage therapist?
It's breaking and entering into a hotel room under false
pretenses. I'm going to back you up.
There was no breaking and entering.
He let him in. Right.
So they're going to be back in a couple hours.
White Speedo Kevin Williams is there.
No, you're not. Yes, I am.
You ain't even going to touch him.
And how are you going to prove it to me?
Just wait and see. I'll go over there, do it, come
back and tell you. Yeah.
And I'm supposed to believe you, huh?
Yes. I've got a better idea.
What? This little outfit CID boys back
at base let me use. See that little window right
there? And this.
So he takes out a huge home VHS video recorder and puts it in a
bag so that John Henson can secretly videotape and broadcast
his indirect. He has a complete surveillance
system with him on his trip to PS.
Right from the base, the boys at the base lent it to him and he
has a mini TV which is as big as what would you, How big is that
Teddy? What would you compare that to?
Like a box of that, a bottle of whiskey comes in.
Yeah, that's absolutely the size of it all.
Right. Oh my God.
I don't know about this, I'm just about to go pretend I'm a
massage therapist to win this bet, but this might this might
be too much. Thousands of dollars that they
just let me take on my vacation to.
PS. There's the socks.
Right. I mean, he's got to have his
mini shorts, he's got to have his socks.
Well, those mini shorts are my favorite.
You know that I just absolutely. This is a classic male look,
mini shorts and high socks. I had go go boys dressed like
that for years. It's just perfection.
It is William Higgins. You deserve Oscars upon Oscars.
Do it and then talk about it bro.
Here's the bag. Here's where he goes into
perpetrate a fraud that I guess everyone is happy in the end.
This is perfect. I'm.
Here to get a massage with room 15 Order.
I did not order a massage. You sure?
I've got the ticket right here. It's been paid for and
everything. Well, perhaps my parents did,
but they're not here right now. Can we talk about his accent?
Can we stop? We have to stop it right here.
Because here's where the perfection comes the the
perfection, the perfection of Kevin Williams is starts now.
Right his face is perfection, his body is perfection, the
styling of his outfits and the. Perfection.
And his acting as horny teen. Is that's what I'm.
Talking about that's what I'm talking about.
That's what that's what would get you off back in the day
before the shaved head and the the and then now you have like
the, the, the, the, the plumber comes and the plumbers, the
twink and he's like, I'm here to fix your pipes.
Like we don't buy it. We buy this.
Very believable because we've already got a full movie of Mike
Hanson, so we know that he's a stud who doesn't want to go to
school. He wants to jerk off, OK?
He wants to do whatever it takes.
Yes. He's only been so long to be off
base, so he's got to have fun. And Kevin Williams, just so
like, I didn't order a massage. Not I didn't order a massage.
I mean, Kevin Williams face at this when he was probably he's
probably like 21 or something in this movie.
He is so and he did age well. He still was very handsome as he
got older, but the the frozen in time youthful beauty in this is
quite astonishing. It's perfection.
Now these now I can't handle it from here on.
I'm I'm. I'm speechless.
Well, I've never had it beside before.
Oh, you'll love it. It's great for muscles and
everything. Come on.
I mean, it's been paid for. Why waste it?
Well, OK, good. OK.
She goes into the hotel room. I love the bed, a double bed and
a cot. Love it.
Well, we can start out by you laying on the bed.
Why can't you lay on this bed? Well, this is my bed and that's
my parents bed. This is where I sleep.
Perfect, my bed. This is my parents bed.
What is that accent? I just can't quite face it.
It's like North Dakota. It's like Midwest.
It's like right? It's not California.
It's perfect. It's perfection.
I can't. So you get these close-ups of
each guy so as if they're stare at the camera, as if they're
talking to each other. So you get a picture of
innocence with Kevin and then Mike Henson giving you like a
like romance sex eyes with both of the blow dried hair is just.
Yeah, and and Kevin's like like brassy blonde looks like a a
baseball player, apple pie loving Chevrolet.
Exactly. He looks like apple
motherfucking pie straight off the bus from Iowa.
For he's corn fed, milk fed, farm race, he's all of that the.
Twink archetype that twinks wish they were.
I mean, right? Break it down sharp.
Absolutely. OK, let's.
Continue this most moves to the bed places the camera bag.
Sure. Go ahead.
Go ahead and take your shirt off.
I'm going to put some oil on your back, OK?
Kevin Williams looks a little confused every time, like, oh,
OK, I guess so. So good.
We know from this music that they're about to fuck.
My favorite. This is my favorite line coming
up. 50 bucks. 50 bucks.
How many do you do a day? About three $150.00.
Wow, that's some pretty good money.
Do you do ladies too? Here we go, here we go.
Do. You ever get the best run with
them? Sometimes you know one thing
leads to. Another look.
One thing leads to another eyebrow raise. 50 bucks you get
pussy too. OK, please stop it.
Please. 50 bucks you get pushy too.
Wow. Yes.
Whoa. For 50 bucks you get pushy too.
Perfect. It's so perfect.
So well acted. It's so perfect.
Look how playful my case Mike Henson is such a playful,
playful, playful I think. It's time to do your legs.
Go ahead, get comfortable. No problem.
Better take your shirts off because I don't want to get oil
on them. I don't want you.
And here's another William Higgins where he he just
absolutely is the master of dove directing porn.
The the shots that he does when he's massaging his legs and his
ass is just he cannot not be horny they.
Went down to my aunt and uncles, back to 3-4 homes.
Oh, really? Hands are traveling.
He's wearing Speedo brand Tidy 1.
Of it. But look, let's touch the net
sack. Let's touch the sack.
And he's like, interesting going on.
He gives a little eyebrow raise to kid.
Oh my God, I can't. Well, I don't think we should do
that. Why not?
Well, I kind of get a problem down.
There. Oh my God, he's so adorable.
He's so adorable. I won't.
Even. Know little grin.
I kind of got to come. Then we cut to the perfect of
television in the other room, the tiny bread box sized
television and the buddies watching.
He's like oh man, I lost my 100 bucks.
Oh, poor thing, you lost your 100 bucks.
Even the way Kevin lies there, like, I don't know what's going
to happen. I mean, the performance is very
good, very good. Oh my God, perfection.
This scene was classic and. Just the layers of undressing,
you know what I mean? Like it's not there.
Don't just get naked right away. Right.
He's actually he's giving him a rub all over.
Grazing the penis. Just grazing it.
Doom, Doom, Doom, Doom Doom When you now you're going to I want.
My 100 bucks. I want my 100 bucks man.
Guess I better jerk off. Exactly.
Yes, yes. Like, it worked, I think, just
like the technology. I mean, OK, the Kevin Williams
face, when he's like, do you like that?
Huh. He looks at him, raises his
eyebrows up. He's like, yeah, feels.
Great, it's great acting great. It's just great one.
Thing leads to another. And now you're getting a scene
of Mike getting ready to fuck the guy with the massage oil and
then the buddy it's. Perfection.
I can't stop saying perfection. Roll over, I'll show you
something that feels even better.
You ever let a guy touch you like that before?
No, I never have. So many, so many erotic tropes.
And their faces that he makes is so like, like really, really
like interested in confused and curious all at the same time.
Yeah, the acting, the layers, the character, it's all, it's
all happening. I mean, of course it goes a
little further and then we know exactly where this is going to.
It's the best scene in any talk. About a showroom New Whole Kevin
Williams spread the hole and then he's winking at He's
winking at. So sweet.
It's just such a beautiful lovemaking scene.
I mean it, They're so attractive that it is almost sweet.
And their performances and their energy together do make it like
it's not gross. It's like not.
At all. Not at all.
It's just they're making sweet, sweet love.
Johnny Wheat. Fucking love, man.
And while Mike Henson finally is revealing slowly, he loves to
take his underwear off slow. And we know where this is
headed. We hope that GAIL Gordon and
Ethel Mertz won't be home early. Well, they're going to her, her
sister, his aunt's house, so they're going to be a while man
and. We know.
Well, there goes there goes the Dick right in there.
I mean and and no problem. Once again, ass virgins have no
difficulty getting fucked in these movies.
You know, because there's a lead up.
It's the builds up, it's the relaxation, it's the massage.
It's there. Yeah, it's just this is like,
this is what Bros do. And like the the kissing and the
I mean, like, it's like they're in love.
And in fact, at the end of the scene, I think he does say that
he's in love with them. I don't remember that, but let's
get to that. Well, he's tongue in his ear.
He's doing all of it. I mean, they, they get it going.
The guy's jerking off. I mean, there's a long scene.
Oh, at this point now the he, he's saying fuck me.
So, you know, he's this is it. He's a power bottom for life.
It's. Holding on to the ass now he's
getting jackhammered up and jizz rainbows.
Jizz just squirts. OK, well here's what here is the
scene. Comes back to the room.
Oh oh jizz jizz jizz jizz now. Also the transitions out of each
scene is a freeze frame and then the screen square style spins
out into nothing and then spins back to the next scene.
A classic 80s movie transition I.
Love it. I love it.
I got it ready.
I won. I can't take it.
You can't take it. He couldn't take the money
because he was too special. It was two times on.
And that's exactly what it was like.
It was too special. Now he's got the piece.
Of mail. He got a piece of mail at the
motel and it's a credit card, an American Express card.
So. Perfect have.
A good time I will. Like I'm going to stay here and
fucking another military people and there's a good shots of Palm
Springs with the wind turbines now.
What's going on now? Who is who are we seeing now?
Now we're seeing two guys from the base who are going to go and
they're, I don't, I think they may be heading back, but they're
going to stop in Palm Springs 1st.
And this is the scene where I was telling you about that.
Palm Spring hasn't changed at all, and they are they.
Hitchhiking. They are hitchhiking so they
picked up like this other then they go to that hotel.
Oh no, it's it's Mike Henson picking them up.
That's right, it's their buddy Mike.
Mike Henson is wearing a sleeveless sweatshirt zip up
with the collar cut off so the hood cut off.
It's Teddy Marcus Wear. I love it to death.
I love. It other guys are wearing all
white. One of them is wearing a Teddy
Marcus round Gucci esque sunglasses, a white sweatshirt
and a the acid wash Jean. Yeah, it's like, it's like beach
club. What was the name of that brand?
Go ahead and go to Palm Springs. I'm ready to get it started.
Start partying. Let's go.
All right, all right, let's go. Let's go party.
Let's go get it. Let's go get each.
Other all night in the motel I forgot.
This is this is another great scene where they're all in the
hot tub, which is such a rare thing They do the whole hot tub
scene and there's no sex in the hot tub.
The sex happens outside of the hot tub when they find those
fundies. That scene turned the shit out
of me on. Now they've go to a new motel
which is decorated in all white 80s style, but looks very
similar to the other motel, actually just a slightly bigger
room. It's so mauve, it's so mauve.
But they do Johnny McGovern saw have fake plants above the bed.
I love it. Oh no, there's the bed.
And then now they're all like, let's get in the hot tub and
they're all wearing acid wash jeans.
They all have. They have the exact.
They almost all look like twins because they are all pumping the
same exact hair. Look.
They all have dark hair. They're all wearing tiny
whities. They're all wearing skinny gold
necklaces. Right.
And then the tiny whities get wet in the hot tub, the drinking
Bud Lights. It's like such a great.
Mike Henson's wearing a thong. He reveals a thong.
Of course he does, because it's Mike Henson.
He's the star. I will not to this scene if
anyone else is wearing a thong now.
The hot tub is not that big for three people.
No, but watch that nothing happens in the hot tub, which is
my favorite part. You're like this, this, this
forced you to edge. Because back in the day when
Teddy was jerking off to this, you had to get up and go to the
VCR and press Fast forward. Now, so you watched it and you
were just edging, waiting, like wait, what's happening?
They're not doing anything. But then they got out and you
could see, like see through because they had the tidy
Weddies on and they're wet. William Higgins, take all my
money. They're just they're their
underwears wet, their Dicks are showing through, they're having
beers, they're just totally relaxed.
They get out of the hot tub, they're drying off.
Then I don't remember how this all begins.
How the sex begins. They're putting on the robes.
Right then he they find the girlfriend's fundies.
My favorite scene. The girlfriend's fundies, I
don't remember. That the fundies, it's the
underwear that you could two people could fit in and they
dare each other to try them on. Really.
I don't remember this at all. Oh my God, this was so good
because. Then I see a box of fundies in
the suitcase. Mike Henson, you know, we'll
watch when they put it on, he pushes this.
Is shot at a different time because Mike Henson now has a
much more blunt bang. It is straight across his
forehead. Because the guy who was supposed
to do the scene didn't show up. So they're like, oh, call Mike,
all right. So the fundies are a pair of
underwear that you were supposed to wear at the same time as
someone else. Teddy, when did you do this
craze? Oh my God, I I bought fundies.
They were in my car forever. I never used them.
They have. Two sets of leg holes.
So you go, I guess, front to front with whoever your friend
is. With your girlfriend, you do.
With your girlfriend, you don't do.
With your girlfriends. Yeah, so good.
He's like, why I'm on. Yeah, what?
Oh shit, there's enough room for everybody else in this thing
too. You can take the whole classroom
with you. You could take the whole
classroom, he says. Oh, and jump in.
No fucking way in my. Fuck no man, I could jump in.
Oh my God, it's so hot. Look how hot I.
Mean it is good. Yeah, and then he pushes him on
the bed, which is such a fucking dorm thing to do.
Guys And now they're in the they're rolling around nude.
They're in their naked horseplay joint underwear horseplaying
around 2. Dude, we're not gay.
We're just fooling around. Don't fuck.
These are my girlfriends. Tickle Fest taking his robe off
too. I'll be nude and tickle you
guys. Oh my God, so good.
I mean the this acting is again quite good, very believable.
And they're really like, really kind of wrestling.
Like, dude, don't touch my Dick, dude.
Extended wrestling scene here. It's perfection.
Oh my God. Remember when the when the
action begins. Now they're starting to feel
each other's holes. And you know, that's what that's
exactly how it starts. The whole counters here I'm
checking I got my pen. This is a buffet of asses that
should be in the Hall of Fame of asses.
Of course. I mean, the anticipation is
killing me right now. But that's that's, that's
William Higgins. Edging, I said.
Edging. Now one of their friends.
Now they're slapping their friend's ass and holding his
legs spread in the air. And there's boners.
Now we finally have boners. Oh, my God.
Oh, it's Mike Henson's hole in the air.
Yeah, Mike. Mike's like, I'll show you guys.
He grabs the other guy and he's like, I'll start spanking you.
Almost finger in the hole I like.
It don't you? I like it, don't you?
They say there's so much in this movie now they're spanking the
hole. They're not spanking the ass
anymore. No, Spank the hole.
Uh oh. We've slowed down a little.
What's happening? Are they turned on?
They're nude with Boner, so we can only guess what's going to
happen next. They all have blunt bangs.
Suck it, suck it. Down it's tall.
Suck on it bro. And also note the fake plants in
this room are fantastic. I would definitely have this.
Tommy was production designer. And then OK, once the Dick
starts getting sucked, it's all happening.
I mean, the military buddies are just going for it.
We're going to lick the hole. We're going to.
I mean they just do it all one now one guy is putting their
Dicks together and he's sucking them both at the same time.
That to me was unbelievable. I don't think I've ever seen
that before in a movie. I was like do what you would do
if you were going to do a double fuck of someone where the Dicks
have to get as close together as they possibly can so you have to
go taint to taint with the other person.
So hot to me. The caressing of buttholes and
big guns is just beautiful. I mean, they were going to call
it caressing buttholes test well.
It's so. Oh my God.
I mean, in again, I'm afraid of perfection.
They all fuck each other. Everyone fucks everyone.
They fuck at the same time. They, this wasn't one of my
favorite scenes, but looking back on it, it's high quality.
High quality and it's long. I mean, I have to Fast forward
like 25 minutes, OK. And then they of course take a
shower. They eat each other's cum.
In that tidy. Shower in a mod Shower built for
three. It's built for one Teddy Margus
and three, I guess, William Green's.
Military guys off base for the weekend trying to have a little
fun. So hot and.
Not having a homosexual panic, they're just cool.
Don't bend over to get the soap, man.
Ted, Teddy then. Now what the hell?
They're still OK. Now I'm remembering the rest of
this movie. I was like, how much longer is
this fucking movie? Well, there's two more scenes.
Actually. The next two aren't are not as
special as the. Well, now we're with Mike and
the guys in full uniform and they go out to a bar in their
full dress whites. And there's ladies.
Non sexual roles for ladies are playing in this one.
They look really beautiful though in those whites.
The Epulets. Like pussy dropping.
Yeah, definitely. And then John, the other John
Rocklin shows up in his dress whites.
I guess they're all wearing their dress whites right before
they have to go back to the base.
That's said, this is the last night.
This is it. The last night.
OK this is a military bar because there's some extras 1
semi handsome one and one not attractive one who's like
something one of the producers hey.
Son, how are? You this is the, this is the.
Oh my God. You carry on there.
I'll be back here with the rest of the party.
I'll carry on here. Oh, that's why they're at a
special military party. There's a woman there.
The guys are looking like they like them.
And now these are two different guys.
Yeah, because those are the two that oh.
Because he tried to hit on some girl and she threw his her drink
on him so he had to take his shirt off.
Right then they go out to the tiki Hut, which how that popped
up don't know. Conversation, he's like you're
just grab, grab, grab. And he's like, I really wanted
to make it with her though. I mean, this was definitely the
80s. But I really wanted to make it
with her. This guy who's talking has
something that bothers me. No sideburns.
Oh, like he has a regular haircut except it ends at the
top of the ear. Oh yeah, I don't like doing
that. Weird.
It's very strange. Cut.
Very strange cut. Just a side note.
Yeah, this is because probably, you know, we're going to need
you to get a military cut. No way, dude.
Maybe I'll just do my sideburns. So in this scene we have again 2
military guys. He's going to show him how to
seduce a woman by touching his erogenous zone.
Yeah, this. I actually use massage.
They're out. At the tiki bar at this bar.
But apparently nobody comes out there because they can just get
nude and suck each other's Dick right behind the bar where their
full military party is happening inside.
They're addicted to risk. All right, So they fucked.
This scene is a little, I mean, after the high Academy
award-winning of the rest of the film.
Yeah, it's really hard to. I mean, again, these guys are
very good looking. They have hey, Dicks.
The sex is good. You know, again, it's like, I've
never done this before. I mean, that is of course always
interesting. Right.
And it's to me like I used to Fast forward this like, Nah, OK.
Yes, this was definitely after we've gotten to such heights of
Eroticism with this movie, this it's a little hard to compare,
you know, with the rest. So while this is a quality
scene, it's not. It's just not like America's
latest butthole parade like some of these other ones.
But for me, it kind of the scene never really fit into the rest
of the movie anyway. Like I don't the tiki part was
like, OK, wait, what? Like I don't get it.
I know we needed a scene with their military uniform on.
There were so many other things they could have done.
And like you said, not that it wasn't hot, it was hot, it just
wasn't. It just didn't fit.
Well, it's like they had to do another scene with two different
guys that could film on a different day and they only had
to have that one. It's like quick interaction with
the boys at the bar. So Mike Henson had the day off
and they didn't have to pay him another day rate.
So then what is our final scene here?
I'm having some buffering issues.
OK. The final scene is the three of
them, and like a survival military, they.
Still fucking like this tiki bar is.
They've just, they're out in the Hut behind the bar supposedly,
and they are just taking it home like nobody's there dancing.
Like nobody's watching sweetie while I'm OK.
So now we cut to the next day, right?
They're they're in, they're back at the base, they're in camo and
they're like playing paintball, like a survival game, right?
Because that's what you do when you're at the homosexual
military camp, is it? When you're at the homosexual
boot camp, right? Where they put stuff food to
make you horny, like in the porn book I read when I was in
college, Mike and the Marines, rather than that book, they took
only the sexiest people and they put them in a special platoon
and then they put stuff in their food to make them extra horny
and then they sat back and watch them fuck each other.
What's interesting about this scene is that there is no sex.
Like they, it literally is like a precursor for it's like a
cliffhanger. They, they, they, they play the
game. The one person loses, they'd
strip him down to his underwear, hang him up from a tree, and
it's over. Right, because they're, it's
crazy, dodging back and forth. They're playing paintball.
They're wearing deep scoop tank tops.
Military. Issue once again International
Mail. So international mail, like the
military, this is the military through the eyes of
international mail, 1000%. The loser who loses the paint
game when they have to take off his his pants and he's got those
teeny tiny micro camo undies. You know, army regulated undies.
Part of course. It just is like, oh come on.
So whoever loses has to get strung up in his underwear.
Overnight. Overnight.
Something like that. Yeah, He hangs overnight in his
underwear. Dude.
So humiliating. So humiliating.
And then it's over. No, I.
Don't agree with? This.
Rough rough and the the the military issue bikini thong in
camo is really the key. I'd like to be a part of that
platoon who doled out those undies.
Right, Private, Get here. Get your thong on Private
Sergeant Teddy Marcus for voting for the homosexual troops.
Yeah, and like, they start to tease you, like something's
going to happen, you know, 'cause they can't.
Leave them hanging in the tree. And then done get.
Off on that. Oh my God.
Now the other either like getting off on that and Mike
unbuttons his pants. If the Admiral could see you
now. Both unflithed in their pants.
If the Admiral could see you now and he's they're all wearing a
military issue camo bikinis. So good.
Freeze frame to be continued in Hot Rods The Young and the Hung
Part 2. OK, now Teddy, I'm understanding
what that is. So it wasn't called Big Guns
Two, it was called Hot Rods Young and the Hung 2, which was
a sequel to probably the greatest classic porn ever, The
Young and the Hung. Right.
We'll have to cover that in another episode because.
I would if it's they did do an unofficial sequel for big guns
two though in like 98 but there it was.
No, it wasn't. By then it was all over.
It was that was the bad era of porn that happened in the late
90s. That was that weird waxed,
plucked Falcon era. Yeah, it was.
It was not appealing. This was the peak.
This big guns 1987 was the peak. So much so that in 2005 it did
win a gay VN for Best Classic gay film.
So. Much so that when I was watching
this at the office alone because no one else is there, I was
feeling very horny. I was like, Oh my God, this is
inappropriate. I am horny at work, not safer
work. NSFW.
Right. Luckily I'm the only person in
the building. Hooray.
Still, to me, still classic, classic.
Perfection. Perfection.
The first time I saw it, about talking about manergy, sweetie,
the menergy about menergy. Bump, bump, bump.
Incredible, Incredible. I agree.
Thank you. William Higgins, Mike Henson,
Kevin Williams, John Rockland, Kevin Wiles.
What's his name and all? Douglas, Chad.
Douglas, Jeff Quinn. Come on.
William Higgins. Stellar.
Down to you. Stellar.
Now have you ever seen Kevin Williams first day on the set of
The Young and the Hung? I mean of of big guns.
No. Where would I see that?
I think there's, if you look up Kevin Williams, they call it
Kevin Williams audition, but it's not.
It's like behind the scenes on. YouTube.
No, I think it's on my vidster. Oh, Kevin Williams audition.
No. Whoa.
Yeah, and it's it's from this same day and this scene and it's
like him like talking like oh, OK, that.
Sounds. What's it on xhamster?
Probably. They have this thing called
Vintage 455, The best of Kevin Williams.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? I'm pretty sure I know Kevin.
Williams an audition. Oh, he's just, honey, that it's
just that, you know what it is? I just, it's, I was that
innocent once too, you know? I sounded like this, but I I was
a little more cherubic. My hair was a flax and blonde.
I mean, Kevin Williams, a real a winner.
A winner. Angel, Angel.
And you know what? Also, we have to, we have to
give our props to Mike Henson that he he carried a whole film.
He did. Oh, they've, they've taken a lot
of copyright notices on this Kevin Williams material.
Of course. All right, well, everyone, that
was a little link to to Big Guns to Watch for free online in case
you wanted to see this. Of course, we'll be in the
toolkit. And yeah, we'll see you next
time. On what Teddy?
Managi's Managi. Exactly.
The. The.
Music. None.
You can come on in the bathroom. You can come here again.
We all never feel like you're smoking it to me
the the.