It's a Kiki with John and make G gonna spill all the tea.
All my LGBTS, you're in luck because Johnny McGovern is gay
as fuck. Hello everyone and welcome to
Gay as Fuck. I am Mr. Johnson governess.
He who is yes, everyone, gay as fuck is back the show where pop
culture and dirty gay stuff meet.
And now look, I know you're saying Johnny, what the fuck?
You said you were going to be doing monthly episodes in the
last month. Where was my fucking episode
brah? Well baby daddy had some health
issues. I had a tooth that got infected
that ended up making my whole face blew up and leading me to
some seriously excruciating and long lasting dental pain.
We don't need to get into it, but Needless to say it took me
over a month to get over it and honestly, I still, the PTSD from
it is still pretty strong if I were to say so myself.
I mean it. Look, if you want to hear all
the details and wonder where the fuck I am when I'm not doing
this show right here, well baby, you know where I am.
I'm over at the guest of All time Patreon where even through
literally having an infection in my tooth led to my face getting
all blown up, I was still doing motherfucking podcasts OK
including one called Am I Pretty?
Because I look so crazy as well as feeling terrible.
But in the beginning it just looked crazy.
My face was all swollen and I was taking pictures of it and
sending it to my friends being like the Botox and fellow
looking like troll because my lip was gigantic.
My eye was swollen shut. Oh what do you what can you do
when something like that is happening to you other than to
take a photo of it and troll your friends asking if they
thought your cosmetic surgery looks good.
Needless to say, all of that is cleared up, but it's quite a
tale and you know where you can hear all about it over at
patreon.com/gist of All time. Now also over at Patreon, that's
where you're going to see the uncensored videos for Dad Rave,
Bussy. I mean, baby, if you're not
watching the uncensored Dad Rave and Bussy videos, are you even
living? We did many Wendy emergency pods
and we did listening parties for Lady Gaga's new album, Selena
Gomez new album with the country critic Adam Joseph.
I mean, lots of fun stuff over there.
But for now, I got a lot of fun stuff for you here today.
We have some great updates. Wendy Onasia has been found,
Robert Irwin's son is swinging his big snake around.
Gaga Chella happened. And of course we got Azalea
Banks tweeting all about her opinions on Gaga Chella.
Conspiracy theory Queens are still trying to tell us that the
person and all the Britney Spears videos is not Britney
Spears and that they believe it's Jamie Lynn Spears with the
filter on. And the story just never seems
to end. So look, there's so much to get
into. There's only one thing we can
do. And what is that?
Well, you know, let's do, you know, get into it, get into it,
into it, into it, get into it, into it, get into it.
Let's talk first. Naja Robinson, OK, We love
Onaja. We, we stand Onaja.
OK, Onaja in her few short months in Pakistan managed to
give us so much good content. So much me mobility, so many
quotes. Respect for the law, respect for
Allah, respect for her law, respect for the law.
I'm going to need 2000 or more and land Shabana.
This is my team Shabana. If anything you hear isn't the
truth, remember it's not true. I mean, it just goes on and on.
And I know I'm not exact quoting everything, but like, the spirit
is there. And the last we had previously
heard of her was someone had seen her being escorted off a
flight to New York when by the authorities in Dubai and that
was all we heard of them. There was radio silence.
We were afraid that our Queen Onasha, who brought us so much
pleasure in such a short period of time was possibly had fucked
with the wrong people 'cause remember we saw her in Dubai
smoking in public. You know women ain't being
allowed to be smoking in public now.
Not that that's a big offense, but they can choose to do
whatever the fuck they want in Dubai.
It is a country built on slave labor.
So they were just, they could do anything to her.
I mean, she remember she's threatened someone in the video.
She said, Oh, if I, if I, if you talk to me again like that, I'm
going to burn you with the cigarettes.
And so, you know, all of us who thought like those are all not
don't seem that much, but like, you know, they can really do
whatever the fuck they want to you in Dubai thought, Oh my God,
maybe that she just chose the wrong authoritar to fuck with.
And it's not like the lovely angels in Pakistan and Shabana
and all of them who were so honestly sweet and caring and
protective of Onaja. I mean, Viva la Pakistan, that
was the greatest publicity that Pakistan has gotten in a long
time. But all of that is to say, she
was gone. We were worried about her.
I was honestly can very concerned that no one seemed to
be really that upset about where the fuck she was.
And then, Oh, Happy Day, honey, because right on the streets of
New York City, sweetie. Listen, I didn't go to jail.
I wasn't stuck in Dubai. It was a situation that happened
in Dubai that I couldn't get over at the time.
And that was it. How long was it?
I was there for a month. Wow.
That's the package thing. That's the package thing.
Yes, I was. That is so precious.
And that is you end up getting out like you can get in trouble
like empty or actually I'll keep all that right back.
So you guys that later. OK, so I want to ask this, are
you? Yes, I am.
Maybe we are together. We want to stay with you.
This is jury guy. No, this is one guy.
This is my husband. So you met someone else?
No, this is my husband. Niguel Hamed.
His his last name must have his mother's last name.
Wait. So how did you meet this guy
while we were out here? No, we met actually on a
romantic day. You know, we had a a basic the
incident, right? But is he yes, he is, you know,
so have you? So when you plan on going back,
you know, we're going to discuss that.
But right now we're all staying in New York.
So it's real big. It's real big.
So we have been eating.
Wait, wait. So we got to ask you, So you
were asking for your money in your land.
We got to ask you, did you get the money?
Did you get the land? Listen, they called you that
land. They won't give that 20 K to 50
KL. I like that because I feel like
you were on my thing that. So did anyone give that to you?
We have to raise anything. Well, they was going to give me
those pumpkin K every week, but I left.
So we're going to see what they're going to work on while
I'm not there. I do have ships that have my my
Facebook and I love people in real.
Life. So they caught her in front of
the Brooklyn Chop House. Honey, she's got a new wig.
She's got a regular all the foundation.
She's not all chalk powdery looking like she did in Pakistan
when she'd have her makeup already moisturizer and she was
on the motherfucking desert and probably dry.
She's looking fresh, she's looking creamy.
She's got her FUPA really working it and a pair of like
very thin track pants but they almost look like nurses track
pants. Anyway, she was spotted by the
shade room. They started to get the tea from
her. Now apparently you remember, I
don't know if you remember, back when she was with Shabana in the
hospital, whenever she would, she would pose her photos.
She would do this one where she would bring draw her finger
under her nose like she was smelling the finger.
OK, And that's kind of like almost like that little Kim move
where she's, you know, she she kind of doesn't cheat her little
Kim doesn't more like she's looking looking, but this is
more like the smelling the finger.
Anyway, that is apparently her new pose because the end of this
little session on the street, she's posing for the photo.
She's got her finger on her nose sniffing it.
Can someone explain to me? Comment below.
Like and subscribe guys. Comment below if you can tell me
what the fuck the significance of the sniffing the finger is
other than like I'm smelling your bullshit.
My name is Onasha and I've got bullshit of my own.
To give you. Now, the information that we we
got just in that little interview was that she was still
with her husband, Ahmed Hameed, or whatever the fuck his name
is, who has also been doing his own interviews with the press.
Because I like, why not? Everybody's got to get a little
bit of that fame. And I'm sure he doesn't want
that fame to go away. So he's like, huh, maybe I'll
move to New York with my new wife, Onaja.
Why not? So she's planning to bring her
husband to New York. You know, she has other kids,
one of who said she's extremely bipolar and she was having a
mental break when that's got to be the one of the most
satisfying mental breaks we've ever seen because it gave us so
many great quotable lines. One more she does.
She acknowledged that she has, you know, chips with her face on
it. In Pakistan, they made own Naja
chips, like a snack, like the sack chip sack.
So hopefully she's getting her royalties for that.
Or maybe she got a buyout, which you probably would have been
maybe a little more appropriate when you're dealing with a
Pakistani chip company and you don't live in Pakistan.
Maybe just get that buyout instead of worrying about
collecting royalties. Remember, she was supposed to
have her Bitcoin. So hopefully that was a buyout
too, because I don't think we're, I mean, would I buy 1
onasia Bitcoin perhaps can I get a physical version of it?
I guess that that would be going against the point of a Bitcoin.
But you know, if I could have it on a frame with Onasia's face on
it, I would consider, would consider.
And so now she's back, OK, She's back and she is going around
Brooklyn and she is doing promos pretty much like people are
excited to see her. She's doing all of her catch
phrases, respect to the lab, respect to a lot.
Now all. She doesn't know all her catch
phrases, to be honest. Like she doesn't.
First of all, you could hear her, you know, getting respect
to the loud, respect to the loud, respect to the loud,
respect to getting that a little bit wrong.
I don't think she is quoting herself saying 2000 or more,
which is really something she should be quoting.
She should be making T-shirts that say or more.
It's just so she's doing promos in all these different shops
like she's getting her hair done.
And so she's doing like a little, she's posting on the
real own Asia Robinson. So she is doing like when you're
in Brooklyn, comes down to Shorty's wig cap shop.
They got all the best wig caps. Respect to the live, respect to
the live, respect to the live, respect to the live.
So she's doing her catch phrase and then she's shouting out all
all the different places she's at.
She's in some place wearing kind of a tacky like hoodie,
distressed hoodie and track pant combo and somebody off cameras
like you know that that hoodie cost two $2500.
She's like, damn. Respect to the law, respect to
the law, respect to the law, respect to the law.
So she's out there just doing her little.
She's doing her little dance, whatever it takes to get that
cash. And you know what?
That is what we want for her, whatever it takes.
Now, what do we really want for her?
We want her on the Traitors. We want her on Celebrity Big
Brother. We want her own reality show.
Oh well, she should be on 90 day Fiance.
Are you fucking kidding me? I don't even watch a show, but I
would start watching for a naija, sweetie.
My God, yes. I'm I'm.
I can't be the profer for person one to think of this.
I mean, anybody from 90 day Fiance must have been at her
front door knocking because what a coup that would be.
What a catch. So do I think we're ever going
to get any more good quotables from Onaja?
No. Do you know?
Well, maybe, and if she gets a show or something like that, but
I mean, like, will we ever recreate the magic is what I'm
trying to say. Will we ever recreate the magic
of those weeks in Pakistan when she was the biggest star in
Pakistan and the camera crews were following her everywhere
And she was just, she was with that that holy man.
And she was yelling at him and she was yelling at the press and
she was just demanding the money.
Like, we're not going to. It's just never going to be as
good and authentic as that. So much like we've learned to
accept that Britney Spears will never be on tour and dancing
again and that Wendy will not have a show every day on TV
again, Onasia will probably not be hilarious again.
But it doesn't mean we can't still love all three of our
Divas, you know what I mean? I'm putting Onasia right up
there. I mean, that's a lot of work.
She got in my heart pretty deep in just a couple weeks in
Pakistan, honey or more, 2000 or more.
Now, Speaking of Wendy and Brittany, let's get into those
Queens because there's shit going on now.
I thought things were moving along in a very positive manner
in the Wendy Williams case, because, you know, TMZ did that
Saving Wendy documentary, so a lot of more people became aware
of it. She did the interview at the
window. OK, She was at the window
dramatically. They couldn't come up to film
her, so they went to the street and pointed a camera up at her
window at the facility that she's locked up.
And and she did a dramatic interview at the window, like
crying and holding her hand on the window.
And, you know, it just made Wendy Will called into the view.
Wendy was making it known that she she was on The Breakfast
Club. She was doing multiple
appearances. She did a longer interview with
TMZ. And it made us think that like,
OK, maybe Wendy isn't still all together.
She seems a little off still. You know what I'm saying?
You know what I'm saying?
You know what I'm saying, you know what I'm saying?
But she used to say, you know what I'm saying a lot anyway.
But still, she's definitely, you know what I'm saying a lot.
She does seem as together as she has seemed in years, so much so
that I even thought, well, maybe, you know, when she gets
out of this, maybe she could have a podcast, you know,
heavily edited one that didn't make her sound like, you know,
because half of it is just sometimes she sounds out of it.
Even if she sucks. She's like, you know what I'm
saying? You know what I'm saying?
So I thought things were looking
good, but things are still weird.
So now TMZ recently reported that the guardian, this woman
named Sabrina Morrissey, who's been in put in charge of Wendy
thanks to Wells Fargo, has been sent TMZ an official letter
saying stop saying that Wendy cannot leave the facility
because that's just not true. She can come and go, she likes.
And then you get Wendy calling them and being like, well,
that's not true. Because last night I was
supposed to go out to dinner with my niece Alex, and they
wouldn't let me out and they wouldn't let me go.
And I was supposed to go to dinner with my new lawyer
because she has a new lawyer, which is the same lawyer who got
A$AP Rocky off in his last trial.
Now, I can't remember what the fuck A$AP Rocky was being
accused of, but whatever it was, it was dramatic.
And this lawyer, a guy named Joe was the person who got him off.
So now this guy is Wendy's personal lawyer now.
So he is going to be there shepherding her through
hopefully getting out of this guardianship.
And the question remains right now at TMZ was asking is why
they haven't they just directly said judge and the guardianship.
But maybe it's because the judge seems like a royal fucking
can't. Because just the other day the
judge, this fucking nasty bitch judge told Wendy, your career is
over. You once had a career, but it's
over now. You'll never have a career
again. So apparently Wendy went to
court and the judge was pissed at her basically for all the bad
publicity that she and Sabrina are getting.
Because remember, the judge is the person that appoints the
conservator, the guardian, and that's lucrative financially for
the person who gets it posted as that job.
And she's been very sweet with Miss Sabrina Morrissey.
This judge always be giving her guardians and making her rich
so. She was given Wendy what for
about that? She was given Wendy's niece
saying that if she tries to take Wendy out of the facility
anymore, she's going to put her up on charges in the court.
And then the judge said that she thought Wendy's family was
completely no good in general and then went into going off on
Wendy's career, saying you may have had a good career at one
point. I heard you did.
But your career is over. There's no more career.
You're it's over now, which how fucking dare you?
Where is it? This judge, this nasty fat bitch
judge. OK, I'll say it out loud.
This nasty fat bitch, Judge. Who is it for her to tell Miss
Wendy Williams that her career is over?
I don't think that's any of your fucking business, Judge.
About whether Wendy's correct me.
What is your qualifications, Judge?
Judge Bitch. JFB.
Judge. Fat bitch.
Is that harsh? I don't care.
I'm Wendy's defender. We're not going to have any fat
judges talking bad to Wendy like that.
How dare, how very dare. Now is she right that Wendy's
family is perhaps touch shady? Yes, not Denise, Alex, but
definitely the son, definitely one of some one of the brothers,
but not everybody. And again, judge, mind your
mind, your fucking business, judge.
I mean, I guess that is the judge's business.
But now, hopefully this now hopefully her new lawyer will, I
don't know, get them as what do you do when the judge is a
fucking cunt? I guess you got to apply.
You have to go to again, it's all along process.
You got to either try to get another judge or make a formal
charge against that judge is a reason why you should have a new
judge for the case. I mean, and that's going to piss
off the judge even more. Well, how very dare they really,
and in other how very dare they do like I thought that we were
over with the conspiracy theories on Britney Spears right
now over on the Patreon. You know I'd be going deep
anytime there's anything interesting happening.
I'm Brittany and things have been pretty quietly, but these
damn they reels have been coming up.
I mean, so here's one that comes up I gotta.
Be honest with you because this doesn't look like her, you know,
maybe, maybe the. Conspiracy theory still right?
Imagine that. But they're not going to do
that. They're not because even though
deep down they can look at this and tell, hey, something's not
right here. This could be a deep fake.
They're not going. They're going to keep running
with the narrative that that's her because that's what's
drawing it in the cloud for their page.
They don't like. They don't they can say all they
want to. They care about Brittany.
They care about the cloud that that Brittany's name brings.
This is not my usual content up until like a year, year and a
half ago and I slowly started getting into this content
because I truly want Brittany to receive justice and I'm tired of
seeing people talk shit about her.
But I am a metaphysical spiritual creator and.
You, oh Lord. Yeah, we all know the sooner
people realize this isn't her, the better off everyone will.
Be there's a lot of like photos going back and forth back and
forth. We're trying to sew like this is
obviously not her. Oh, Exila Maria River Red.
I mean, I'm looking over at on her page and like we get a shot
of her in revealing panties, topless freckle boob shot with
her Michael Kors from the 2000 sunglasses.
So a boob close up of her on the beach, the water catching her
just having fun on the beach. I mean it looks like her.
Here's her like, staring at herself in the mirror.
I mean, seems like her of course.
It's me, stupid. It is Brittany.
Hey, I know you're standing there.
What's up, sweetie? What's up sweetie?
You know what's up? Is that once again I come in
here and say hi just 'cause you only live like. 40 miles from my
house. And I, I see, I come in just
thinking, I wonder what are you seeing?
Maybe 7-7 on podcast. What are you doing?
You're talking shit about me. You want to face me?
I'm this American dream after they see everything.
Brittany, that's not the case. Oh yes, it is.
You want to pass man? We don't want to pass up Y'all
Brittany, we just want the best for you.
And can we look closely at you? Are you a body double or not?
That is stupid. I just, I, I, I hate everyone
and I hate every, I'm sick of everybody and all I want to do
is stare at myself. I'm fucking traumatized and I
want to do spinning videos and that's it.
Can you guys all just give it a fucking rest?
Jesus, what are you going to do when my son?
Becomes a big pop star. Are you going to torment?
Him like y'all did to me. Probably.
Well, fuck you, Johnny McGovern and fuck you conspiracy
theorists. OK, I'm me.
And who else Get out like that? See, it's obviously me.
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool.
Fuck you. It's.
Just me here, Brittany. I'm just fucking with you.
I gotta go. But don't jump out the window.
Bye. Wow.
Only live on the 2nd floor, so sure, she's fine.
Yep, there she is. She's running across the parking
lot and jumping over the fence. Good on you, sweetie.
Good on you. Now, one thing that we did find
out, actually interesting that we found out is that, well, I
don't know what this means breaking Britney Spears fired
her sales representative and hired someone new to manage your
finances. Matthew Siegel, who's who who
got hired is the commercial manager and owner of NKSFB
Financial Company, which is responsible for the big fortunes
of Beyoncé, Drake, Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, the weekend,
Rihanna and Kylie. Jenna OK very respected company
as they say. Michael Caine who got fired had
been put in place by Brittany's father to replace Lou Taylor.
Remember Evil Lou after he they was suspended as a conservator
of her estate and person and Michael Caine and also been
Michael Jackson's manager on his last tour and was suspected
being involved with the singer's death.
So a perfect person to put in charge of Britney Spears if you
wanted her to accidentally die, die.
For nothing daddy, you fuckers. Exactly, Britney.
Exactly. I'm glad you got rid of that
fucking these people and you got yourself someone new.
Good. Whoever Beyoncé got, that's
good. That's what we want.
Now. Britney was not at Coachella,
but girl, all the rest, they all the rest were there.
Justin was there, Haley was there.
All the influencers were there. All the children were.
They are. I was not there and I had no
absolutely 0 interest in going to Coachella.
I mean, maybe with an artist pass, backstage pass and all the
trimmings like a golf core, a golf cart zipping me back and
forth. Lunch at Nobu, I did see that
they had like a whole stage built that had a Nobu in it and
you could make your reservation and basically have your
McDonald's style Nobu. Now, I've had Nobu a couple
times and I got to tell you, I didn't think it was that fucking
great. I thought it was kind of, I
mean, of course the crispy rice is delicious.
It's like a crispy rice, a little bar with some, you know,
chopped up salmon on top. Delicious, really good.
But now everybody makes it. You can buy it at Bristol Farms,
you can buy it anywhere. Everything else is just, man, it
was like tasted basically like my local sushi spot.
Is it good? Is it tasty?
Yeah. But is it like out of this world
and worth a huge fucking price that you get?
Is it that different than any other fucking sushi you're going
to get from a nice sushi spot near you?
No, it's basically the same. And I saw the video of the
people trying the food at the pop up at Coachella.
And I was just like, so lame. You're eating Nobu pop up at
Coachella. I'm sure that was $1000.
I mean, dumb, dumb, the whole thing stuff.
But that didn't mean that I didn't enjoy it the way a smart
person of course shall, which is through the television, because
I did want to see what was going on with our girls, our girls
being Lady Gaga, Missy Elliott and Benson Boone.
Now Benson Boone did a lot of flipping and a lot of singing
and a lot of tight jumpsuit wearing and Cape wearing.
And I fast forwarded through his piece because I'm not like
caring that much about his music, but I do like his toy
body and I like his pop * antics and I love his flips.
And he did a majorly big flip and he ended with a queen song.
He said Mama. And he really sang the shit out
of it. I mean, he was saying his mic
was on. He was sweating and singing and
having a lean, tight body. And damn, he's only 23 years
old. Damn.
His star has risen. And I believe that he is
homosexual. That is what I believe.
He look gay. He feel gay.
I think he going to be gay. That is my opinion that Benson
Boone is a homosexual. Now then again, I believe Benson
Boone is Mormon so that could be a confusing issue.
But making, you know, confusing me because sometimes Mormon and
gay seem similar, especially if they're sucking Dick in magic
underwear and a missionary boys video.
Well, I think he's yeah, he seemed good to me.
And he's very body con and he has a fat sweet ass and he loves
wearing speedos and underwear and all the rest.
And I I think he's a a Dick sucko, or at least I hope he is.
Then of course I watched Missy. Now I had watched Missy when she
went on tour with Sierra and Busta Rhymes and when I say
watch, did I go to the concert? No I did not.
I watched it on YouTube from many different angles and the
show she did at Coachella was basically an extra glam version
of what she did on tour. Which I now look.
I will never in my life say a bad word about Missy.
The hits are unbelievably deep. She's saying she performed all
her hits. Not even in their full form or
she performed all hits. I should say not all her hits.
She prefer she performed our hats.
She performed all hits and still there wasn't enough time to cram
in every hit, even giving just some of the hits halftime.
We didn't get pussied on filming.
Now, I mean, we didn't get a a bunch of things.
We didn't get hit him with the he stop him with the high.
Now those are my personal hits. We didn't get a Nicole Ray make
it hot cameo. You get a little Kim cameo we
didn't get. We didn't get any of that stuff.
We didn't even get a Sierra cameo.
We got no cameos. I now, like I said, so Missy can
do no wrong. She's perfect.
We're so lucky to have her still be on tour, still be doing
things. That said, I find that the live
show leaves me cold. There's a zillion dancers and
there's so many layers of sound that you can't really tell
whether the mic is on and if it is, what parts she's singing and
what part are over. Just backing tracks.
And of course she's dancing her ass off and she's she's a
middle-aged person, honey. I don't expect her to be singing
out Louise and doing all those dance moves, but I would have, I
couldn't tell. And I was listening what she
what she's saying, if anything, or if it was a full lip sync
show and it looked good And she, the dancers were great.
She was great, great energy. But it felt canned, felt canned.
And honestly, the excitement of the audience also felt canned.
Anytime they cut to the audience, they weren't losing
their fucking mind. They were kind of like bopping
along. Then it was time for Gaga.
Chala, honey. And look, I'm not the greatest
Lady Gaga stand, but I did want to see what the fuck she was
doing. She said she'd been thinking
about it. It was all she could think about
for, you know, since she announced and up until then, and
you know what? I think she did a pretty
incredible job. She built what she called an
Opera House in the desert, some multi level set.
And then the set was of course extended out using the digital
screens. And she's just, you know what
the biggest thing, biggest takeaways?
The mic was fucking on. OK, the mic was fucking on.
Now look, do I think anyone will ever do it better then Beyoncé's
homecoming? No, I do not.
I think that was one of the greatest concerts I've ever seen
on video and even that I wouldn't have liked to have been
in in in person for one of the greatest concerts I've ever
seen. Incredible vision, so sick,
gorgeous, perfect. But then again, I love almost
all Beyoncé songs and I love everything Beyoncé does.
Lady Gaga, on the other hand, is not always to my taste.
But what the reason I bring up Beyoncé, not just because she's
number one in my book, is that even Beyoncé, I wasn't sure how
much singing was happening. Now we know it's a quite a bit,
but you know, there's a lot of multi layer sections and I think
it's the same with Gaga, but the mic was on in a lot of it.
And anytime, you know, I think Lady Gaga was like, make sure
you don't turn my mic down when I'm breathing heavy, because I
want everybody to fucking know that I'm singing live bitch.
And she really did an incredible job.
I mean, she did she, she opened the show in this giant, you
know, top of a hoop skirt. And then she opens it and
there's a cage and all the people are in the cage.
And there's opera singers. And there's different versions
of her past self from like in the outfits, the McQueen outfits
she wore in the different paparazzi performances and
videos in the past and some of those other looks.
And she's fighting skeletons in the graveyard and she's, you
know, she's doing it. Did I love every moment?
I thought the skeleton ballet where she was dancing with the
skeletons to Zombie boy was a little stupid little cringe.
But almost everything else was great.
Even though what she loves to do is be like she loves to.
Scream. But she can really sang her
fucking asshole saying abracadabra, she saying shame
the heads she gave. She didn't give us disco stick
love game. But you did get paparazzi, you
got other songs. So escaping me now.
She did a lot of the new stuff, even the songs I didn't love.
I mean, she did the in the sha, La La La La la alone on piano.
Who cares about that? She sang lots of the new album I
can be your toy, because Zombie boy I that's one of my least
favorites. But I did like Garden of Eden
and some of the other ones. Of course, disease was great.
That was her like that was the part in the in like where she
was fighting the skeletons that I liked.
That wasn't that was actually dancers with skull faces.
Later they all were dancing with, you know, skeletons, like
waltzing skeletons. That was kind of dumb.
But the rest of it was fucking good.
And she sang her ass off and she looked great.
She looked honey, she was, she went on as epic honey.
She went on as epic was she just was working out quite a bit.
Lots of dancing. Paris Gobol was the
choreographer. I mean, good on ya, Lady Gogo.
Good on ya. Now Speaking of good on your
Lady Gaga, there was somebody wishing well from Lady Gaga.
Well, from afar. And that was of course, Azalea
Banks, Lady Gaga's current number one fan, and of course,
the she had something to say about all of Coachella.
And we love that. Now currently one of my home a
homie besties, Stephen Raines, is in Paris.
And by the time this show comes out, he will have seen Azealia
Banks in concerts in Paris. And you know that we're going to
break that down 100% song by song on the Patreon as soon as
it happens. Now, remember, 10 years ago,
Azealia Banks performed at Coachella, and that's where she
did that iconic megaphone performance to Anna Wintour.
You know, I'm fucking so good. Now what she had to say about
Gaga at Coachella was I actually really like Gaga's performance.
I never said I didn't. I just don't think Coachella was
the right venue or format because personally I would have
loved that whole Mayhem set Purple Rain style on DVD.
Honey, there's so many parts of it you couldn't catch because
it's like cutting to the audience and the crowd.
It was just a lot of going going on.
She spells AW www.n NNNN stop trying to instigate everything.
Damn. She definitely is.
Is 5. Toes down for Lady Gaga, she's
not letting anybody talk shit and get get that fucked up.
She said that was like a lot of production money that definitely
needed to be solidified in a form film format because it was
cool and looked very expensive. I don't like the graveyard part,
that's just weird juju in my honest opinion.
But I did enjoy the rest of it. I really don't like Paris's
choreo in general but Gaga tour you can always count on her.
Just throw some kind of zazz into the mix now.
Someone else said mad cuz Gaga put more effort into a single
performance than Azalea has toward a new album in the past
decade. And then Azalea says every
artist has had the 5 million outfit changes.
I'm talking about the entire Coachella, Coachella, Indy, all
origins. Do not even call for one fucking
outfit change. Lord fucking hate this new music
simulation so much. Yes, it's a chop for American
Music and the glamour of the American Music industry in
general. Like damn we are fried.
And then she goes in on the she keeps going in on the Coachella
Nobu. The spicy tuna roll of it all is
just like damn. I see why people hate Americans
now. 350 desert omakase at Coachella for now.
Wow omakase in the desert. I've seen enough and then we see
this very annoying video that I couldn't even finish watching,
which is reminds me when you listen to it, you remind me of
that little girl who's like. Yeah, it was really good.
It was like a like a touch of like pepper and like a touch of
of spice and like a hint of like a cheese.
You're eating a salad. You know, like I just like a
hint. Adding a little bit of citrus
and you have the scallions, like a little bit of freshness.
OK, so now we are trying our nikiti.
It includes Torah. On a paper fucking plate.
I mean, bitch, please give me a break.
That looks just so dumb. I mean, I guess maybe if you
were there you and you had to look at your other options for
eating a $300.00 Omakasi and a Nobu pop up sounds good, but
just when you look at it on a paper plate and whatever, it's
just such a fucking money grab. Barf burgers with cheese.
And if you're wondering what's going on with Azalea Banks in
Paris before we hear about the concert, here's what she's
saying. No, listen, you know Azealia
Banks has a very, very, very tight relationship with her
fans. You know, then y'all be on the
Internet reading me and I was talking shit about me and me,
like telling me about myself. And you know, sometimes you, you
know, sometimes you really need to hear about myself.
I thank you guys for that. Right?
But this whole fucking tour, right?
The whole tour I've been on this whole tour and then the girls in
Pari and gay Pari talking about shit to my own.
She this Oh, she hey, wiggies cheap.
Oh, why why did she do this? What are you doing Azalea for me
to show up. I showed up.
Look, you see, I got I got I got a little a little graphic
lineup. You know, I tried to give a
little like a coup from all for the girls.
You know, the Parisian girls. Yeah, bitches ain't watching
fucking ass. If I come back out there
tomorrow and you're out there smelling like boof, like boof
Boo jignon and fucking fromage. I'm a read y'all bitches?
Oh, 'cause y'all bitches been reading me this whole fucking
tour. Bitch been stressed no sleep one
city a day and the French girls been like no I'll give fuck your
bitches better. Wash in between that pussy lips,
wash in between your butt packs and shave that.
Underarm here girls. And then with the last thing she
said about the Nobu fucking outpost was I'm sorry this post
is irking me so much. The next time any Red Bull event
hits up any artist to do anything, run them for the
coins. Us artists cannot live in a
world we are so thirsty for opportunities in spotlight that
we're ultimately allowing them to create this shrinking world
where what we do has little to no value.
And it's more about the sponsor shaking hands and the art.
This whole Coachella is such a brand orgy.
I don't think any of the promoters like even care what's
going on anymore. It's kind of heartbreaking.
Honey, you can always count on an opinion from Miss Azalea
Banks. Thank you God for that.
We love that. Thank you gay Jesus shady ass.
Have you ever been shaded by Padma Lakshmi High?
Attention and I try not to get involved in these little things,
but I can't help but respond or at least comment.
There are these two women that go around critiquing
restaurants. In quotes, air quotes.
Recently went to Sema, which is a South Indian restaurant here
in New York. And, you know, they say things
like they've lost faith in the Michelin Guide, and I'm pretty
sure Michelin doesn't give a shit about you either, or what
you think about anything, let alone food and.
Just. Attempt before you go off
flagging other cuisines, maybe you should understand them a
little bit more. Or at least, I don't know, learn
how to pronounce the dishes you're actually critiquing.
I got news for you, there's no tiki anything in Indian cuisine,
not in North or South Indian cuisine.
So I don't know what you're talking about.
And by the way, sunlight isn't made for you.
It's not. It's made for us.
And I'm pretty sure that if nobody but they see's went there
for the rest of its existence, it would still be booked solid
for the next decade. So, you know, maybe you do go to
that place. You love the Briani cart, Bri
Itni. Just I don't know, you guys seem
like nice girls. I can only judge you by how you
judge, so I just think you should do a little bit more
research. I mean, what do you do when you
make a nasty review of an Indian restaurant and then Padma
Lakshmi comes to read you for Falfa?
Oh Brietni Brianna Brietni. Oh baby, you don't want to be
shaded by Miss Padma who tells you that that Indian restaurant
is not for you, bitch. Ouch.
I just was looking for some check and take a.
Damn Brittany, was that you? Yeah.
Fuck. Now Padma's mad at me.
OK, and now last but not least. Well, there's 22 items that were
in my last but not least categories here.
One was there was quite a stunning photograph of Shawn
Mendes in black bikini underwear coming out of the ocean.
And wow, I can't tell whether these are fake or whether he
actually was wearing such a skimpy tiny black bathing suit
with his cum gutters on display. I can't tell whether this is a
troll of me because it looks so good.
I mean, his body. It's Shawn.
Whoever is eating Shawn Mendes hole is a lucky man.
You know what I mean? Whoever the daddy that is the
owner of the good boy tattoo on Shawn Mendes baby, he's a lucky
man. Now finally last in more
celebrity Dick news. Well, looks like Robert Irwin's
son has decided that. You know what?
I'm hot, I've got a thick cock. And I'm ready for the world to
see me buddy. He did an underwear campaign for
bonds where they put him with giant snakes and other phallic
type of creatures. Spiders on him but mostly thick
snakes wrapping around him as his thick snake.
Is their visible penis line at all?
I mean, fully, if you zoom in, you know, normally they give you
piece of bread on these underwear shoots.
And when I say piece of bread, I mean whatever they're doing,
they're making sure that you actually are not seeing the Dick
through the underwear. But baby, on this Bond shoot, if
you do a zoom in to the boxer brief, that old Irwin Junior or
whatever the fuck his name is, is wearing, baby, you can see
the deck, you can see the head, you can see the ball shape.
I'm you can see it all. And you know what I say to that?
Slow clap to standing ovation. Let's go.
Thank you for this first trap. Well, everyone, look, if you
enjoy what you hear today, there's only one place that you
need to go and that's over to patreon.com/gears of all time
where I'm recording up to three podcasts a week.
It's where you'll see all my uncensored music videos, plus
even more uncensored music video content that doesn't even hit
anywhere except on Patreon. And I'm talking pop culture.
I'm talking all my gay pimping with Johnny McGovern homies and
having a gay old time. So come along if you like this,
you'll like that. Help support your favorite gay
artist. Who's that?
Johnny, it's me. It's me and join me over there
and let's have some fun. And if you don't, well, I'll be
back next month to convince you to do it again.
Thanks for listening and see you next month on Gay as fuck.
Bye baby. Bitch, you thought you knew me
but you don't know shit about my story.
Oh man, I got something to confess.
This space you fell for against finesse Minaj filter got you
obsessed. Now I'm in Pakistan, no stress
2000 weekly. That's my request.
Why you need it? Mind your business.
Got religious reasons? Can't express while I'm lighting
up another cigarette. Yes, kids up my business, it's
religious. Well, I'm smoking cigarettes, I
get suspicious. Got my eyebrows strong.
Feeling vicious, making money moves.
So malicious. Kids up my business.
It's religious. From Pakistan straight to Dubai.
Now they call me Queen. Ain't that some shit?
Fuck your expectations. Ain't no rules.
You supposed to build my own tools?
I'm never could, baby. That's all news.
Got a pad of snow? Yeah, that's my move.
Every screenshot is calculated. Every message is walking
straight. A call me stammer.
I call her Faith. No money shit in this estate.
Where's the girl I thought I knew was anything you said?
Even true truth is what I'll make it to be.
Reality is what these hands are created, drawing power with each
new line above these browser crown shrines.
Can't tell you my business, it's religious.
Rob, I'm smoking sleep. The rest of the situations got
my eyebrows drunk, feeling ambitious, making money moves,
it's so malicious. Can't tell you my business, it's
religious. Won't come catch the suspicious
from Pakistan straight into a bar.
Now they call me queen. Ain't that some shit I turn
filters into real life from catfish to royalty.
That's the power of. Being me.
I. Put my finger in his ass
personally so I know his ass was loose.