It's a Kiki with Johnny Make G gonna spill all the tea.
All my LGBTS. You're in luck because Johnny
McGovern is gay as fuck. Hello everyone, and welcome to
Gay as Fuck. I am your host, Mr. Jonathan
Mcgoverness. He who is.
This is the show where pop culture and dirty gay stuff
meet. But today pop culture is out the
window, sweetie, because today's show is all about dirty gay
stuff. That's right, gay sex, gay sex
and more gay sex by request. You have been asking for another
full gay sex episode and baby, you got it.
OK, you've come to the right place and you've come on a
perfect day because to celebrate our episode of All Gay Sex All
the Time, it's a perfect day to premiere my new single.
That's right, after a decade of silence, I am coming out with
new music this year and it starts right here.
I'm beginning to bring out the songs from my new album which
will be entitled Man Areas after my 28 million streamed hit
Sweetie. Yes I know I thought I was
retired from music. But after my song from my 2010
album The Guest of all time, Man Areas became a huge viral smash
on TikTok and a mass 28 million fucking streams.
I think I said you know what, I think I might need to unretire.
I think my brand of nasty, rotted, gutted stripper strip
club hits might still have some place in the world today.
If Man Areas, which was truly one of the nastiest, dirtiest,
least mainstream songs I've ever recorded, has gotten 28 million
streams, Well, baby, I better put my pop star pants back on
and shake that ass. So that is exactly what I did.
I recorded a whole new record, which should be coming out next
year. But in the meantime, I'll be
dropping single, single, single. And we're starting right here
with my brand new single, the classy and dignified Bussy.
And let's hear it right now. Pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy
pussy pussy pussy on yo cookie cookie cookie cookie cussy pussy
pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy on yo cookie cookie cookie
cookie pussy tight Peach ripe bite it overnight XL and XXXX
when you twerk it sex sex sex sex.
Cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie.
About a pound off the floor. Grind it down, arch the back,
wiggle bounces round juicy eyesight, beefy smooth out of
sight. Furry fuzzy song of bikini
asses. Magic booty, Houdini and ass so
fine, want to throw you a parade.
Booty so big you pulling on the tray.
Pussy on fire, frosted spray Pretty Little stripper with ass.
So tight, so white, so fresh, so clean.
Pure for men, water clean. We got back thigh, calf, I said
the killer legs and a whole lot of ass.
Just want to clap this squeeze inside.
Here come a little buddy little faster up in the strip club.
Ass is a weapon placing on hoes the world stupid.
Category is. Ass Almighty.
He's a booty. Zeus, Aphrodite, rotted pony,
Magic Mike, Ass shot, third strap.
Do it for the lies. Do it for the lies.
Stop there strap.
Do it for the likes. Stop there, strap, stop there
strap, stop there, strap. Do it for the likes.
Pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy yo cookie
cookie cookie cookie cookie pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy
pussy pussy yo cookie cookie cookie cookie.
He's not a Christian, he's dark sided dude.
Pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy.
Shout out to the God warrior, honey.
Yes, yes, look, this song is available to purchase to stream
and of course I made a video sweetie and you'll be able to
see that coming soon to YouTube. Right now check out my Instagram
at Johnny McGovern is Your Daddy as well as my dedicated AKA the
account I set up so I wouldn't get my account cancelled on
Instagram for all the ass in these videos.
You can follow at those man areas as well as check out my
page for all the video previews. Honey, I mean we are talking
sexy stuff. I've got to tell you I found not
only did I get some of my favorite Gogo stars, including
many of the stars of both seasons of Gogo for the gold,
but I found some new Go Go stars honey in this video.
I mean wait till you see my latest discoveries honey.
And they are all shaking it and quaking it.
Buzzy, buzzy buzzy buzzy buzzy, buzzy buz.
So check that out now. They'll be teasers all over the
place. And please support dirty gay
music, shall you? Yes, you shall.
Now this week's episode is all gay sex all the time.
I've had my little elves. OK, It's just one little off
name. Lisa or Lisa, I told them to
please get me everything the media is putting out on gay sex
surveys, histories, articles, listicles and we are going to go
all over it today, honey. How to tell if a man is a gay
five ways back by science 101 gay sex tips you didn't learn in
middle school sex ad and much more.
But I figured we'd start off with a very appropriate article
for today's episode, which is a brief history of the word bussy
Now this is the type of article that we love and we enjoy thank
you out magazine. Now let's go to the Urban
Dictionary, a slang term used by gay men to commote boy pussy in
reference to their anus. Thank you so much.
Pussy has been used for at least 15 years by gay men to describe
their manhole of love. Then they give an example.
Did you see him? My pussy is wet.
Thank you, Urban Dictionary. We appreciate that.
Now that's from 2007. So the history of Bussy Baby
goes back to the last century. Now.
They also go over in this article many times where
straight celebrities have been forced to understand what the
word pussy is when reading thirst tweets about themselves,
including Taryn Egerton who had to read the tweet that said
Taryn Egerton is a white boy that I trust to destroy my
pussy. He said, what does that mean?
Or Jack Antonoff found out what a bussy is when someone said,
damn Jack Antonoff, come produce this bussy.
He said, is this slang bussy? Can you guys tell me about this
slang? I don't like it.
Oh, it's a boy pussy. I haven't heard this.
I do like it. And then poor Dylan O'Brien had
to read out loud. My bussy belongs to Dylan
O'Brien. I mean, this is fabulous.
I mean, I think bussy really hit one of some of its peak moments
when in 2022, the American Dialect Society Word of the Year
was the suffix a sea. And of course, that includes a
bussy. Honey.
Yes, I mean, who knows, Bussy might be added to the
dictionary. They put WAP in the dictionary,
so why wouldn't they put bussy? In fact, little Nas X did tweet
for Pride month. It's really important that our
government finally takes a stand and adds bussy to the
dictionary. Thank you, Little Nas X once
again, always giving us something that we can stand for
it. That's right, Bussy to the
dictionary. And you know what?
I'm doing my part. I'm putting it out there even
more with my classy church hymn pussy.
All right, baby. Well, we got a lot of gay sex
this episode to cover as requested by you, my lovely
listeners. So let's get into it.
Get into it into. It.
Into it. Cadence away.
All right, well, let's get this started by looking at an article
from a very reputable source, datingadvice.com.
This is not a fake website at all.
Now, one thing I've noticed from looking at all of these gay sex
articles is that sometimes they're from sites like
datingadvice.com where you're like, is this a fake site, right
to try to sell me something? Or they often seem like
listicles written by gay reporters 5 minutes before they
went on vacation. They were like, I need an
article. God, I have to.
My deadline's in 5 minutes. I'm about to go on vacation and
what can I do? OK, ten different types of tops
go. But honey, we're going to dive
in regardless because who can resist an article titled How to
Tell If a Man is Gay Five Ways Backed by Science.
OK will be the judge of that. What are the five ways that you
can tell a man is gay? Number one, his penis is inside
another man. No, that's not on the list, but
it should be. OK.
Number one, do his pupils dilate when he looks at you?
OK, first of all, look for the bedroom eyes.
A Cornhill University study reports that the pupils of our
eyes dilate when viewing sexual imagery that we find exciting.
This suggests that when attracted or feeling erotic
towards someone, our pupils will dilate and this might be 1
indicator of his sexual preference.
So look into your crush's eyes while he's talking, and if he
is, if they're dilating, maybe he's in love with you.
If this hole is dilating, that is another way. 2 Does he have a
wide and short face? This is where we're at.
OK researchers for the Center for Theoretical Study at Charles
University in Prague and the Academy of Sciences of Czech
Republic. OK Eastern European universities
are like, what will we do? We've got to do find out how you
make the gay from looking at face, they purport in their
study, their Center for Theoretical Studies.
This sounds fake. They purport that gay men in
their study showed wider and shorter faces, smaller and
shorter noses, and larger, more rounded jaws of a masculine
appearance. OK, well if you baby ladies,
does your man have a wide short face or smaller short nose or
rounded jaw? He's gay.
Throw him out of the house because he wants an asshole of a
man #3 what do his individual facial features tell you?
Similarly, a University of Washington study also highlights
how sexual orientation can be judged with fair accuracy by
particular facial features and configurations.
Now, they don't give us any more details on that, but I did look
into the article and it basically that they showed
people, you know, in a study, 50 pictures of people upside down.
And they were able to accurately most in most cases, decide
whether that person was gay or not.
Which means gay face is real. Was it their plucked eyebrows or
their poochy lips? OK, this article is on thin ice
#4 does he walk with a sway? Oh, OK.
The study, published and and by The Journey of Personality and
Social Psychology, alleges that gay men tend to walk with a
slight sway of the hips, while lesbians walk with a back and
forth motion of their shoulders. All right, well, if you see a
man swaying or you see a woman tip tap topping, you know what
the deal is. They're part of the rainbow,
sweetie. This article is so well, it's
from datingadvice.com. What can we expect?
And last but not least, 5, Is he left-handed or does his voice
signal anything to you? Gay men reportedly have a 50%
chance of being left-handed or ambidextrous than heterosexuals.
Gay men have been shown to mirror women's tendency to have
close index and ring finger lengths.
Oh my God, I'm sitting this is my dog Chacha and he is groaning
at this article. I agree, Chacha.
It's fucking stupid. And gay men apparently have
increased density of fingerprint ridges on the thumb and pinky.
Well, you know what I was about to say.
This article is bullshit and this is a waste of our time and
we don't need this. But then we get to the end of
this and it says gay men's penises are reportedly longer
and thicker than their heterosexual counterparts
members. And I have to say, it's true
Folk. Yeah, sorry, straight guys, the
massive dongs are in the gay world.
What's that sound? That's gay guys swinging their
massive Dicks. Thank you, datingadvice.com, for
this incredible, incredible research that you've done.
Really fabulous. My God.
All right, Next up we have the alluringly titled article, The
Five Do's and Don'ts of Cruising.
OK, now you thought cruising was over, but thanks to Sniffies, I
think people are like cruising in public more than ever now
look, they have the help of the little computer to let them know
where to go or what to do. But this article is specifically
about what to do when you trying to find a man out there without
your phone and what to do and not to do if you are cruising.
So if you're going to the rambles, if you're going to
some, I don't know, you know, The thing is on Sniffies now
look, Sniffies I have downloaded because honey, I like to see
what's going on. I've yet to pull the trigger on
any kind of encounter on Sniffies because I don't know
the vibe. The non vibe is really my vibe.
But you know, I'm open to it. I'm open to it all.
Honey, if you find, find the right man.
No matter where you find them, you never know what you can do.
But I do like to, you know, be at Home Depot and then pop open
Sniffies and be like, is it popping at the Home Depot
bathroom on Sniffies or the airport?
What gay sluts are trying to suck somebody's Dick in the
airport bathroom or any of the rest?
So here's the tips for cruising in public.
If you are, you know, trying to figure out what's what and
you're in a very gay centric area now be careful girl, be
careful. Number one, do make eye contact.
OK. They say the key to good
cruising is eye contact. And then similarly, the key to
rejecting someone properly is lack of eye contact.
That's good to know. So if you, if you like someone
and you're down to get it on, look deep into their eyes.
And if they do the same, well, maybe you're ready to hang out.
And if you don't like somebody, look away.
Look away. Look over there.
As Jade Essence Hall would say, oh, number two, do smile.
Not only, oh, OK, cutesy and demure smile.
I don't think cruising is very demure, but it is cutesy.
Now, this isn't something you must do in order to cruise
successfully, but it's something that you should do.
It lets guys know that you're interested in, that you're down
to have fun. I mean, have fun is an important
aspect. If you're going to be, you know,
hooking up with some stranger, you want it to be fun.
You want it to be too serious. They say there's something
incredibly arousing about seeing a guy look at you with a
mischievous grin. OK #3 do have condoms and Lube.
I know I understood the word Lube, but what does that other
word mean? Condoms.
Vaguely. I think I've heard of those
before. If you use condoms and Lube, do
not assume that anyone else will have them.
They might just be down to shove and spit.
You know what I mean? Spit and shove.
But once you're there in the thick of it, you're not going to
want to stop because you didn't bring the necessity.
So make sure you come with them, pun intended.
I mean that's true. If you're thinking you're going
to get fucked in public, you should bring what you need.
And please prepare #4 do wear something simple to take on and
off, OK? Jogging shorts with no
underwear, jeans without a belt where the buttons snap off with
these OK and it's don't, don't do that damn button fly and
loose sneakers you can easily kick off are all examples of
ideal articles of clothing things not to wear.
Oh, thank you for that. Skinny jeans, high top boots you
need to lace or a three piece suit.
I'm out cruising the rambles but I've got to wear my three piece
suit and my knee high boots. Just a second.
I I want to get fucked, but I've got to unlace my boots and #5 Do
orgasm if you can. Sometimes there's so much
excitement going on, the fear of getting caught inhibits you from
finishing. But if you can let loose.
Thank you. Lucy Leducca laying loose.
I'm just saying loose and hopefully on or in him.
Yeah, I can imagine. I mean, I've never had sex in
such a public place that I mean, I guess I've definitely like
had, you know, sexual activities in different dark rooms in
bathrooms of clubs for sure, but I don't think ever to
completion. So do do orgasm if you can
numbers. Oh, there's number six.
So this is the five do's and don'ts.
So here now we're into the don'ts.
OK number six, don't be too loud in public.
OK? The reason why cruising has
persisted throughout the decades is cus of discretion.
Girl for getting caught all the time or straight people come
aware of all the nasty things we're doing so near to them.
Cruising would not be a thing anymore.
In fact, there would likely be a police officer outside every
sauna, truck stop and airport bathroom.
Don't ruin it for others. Please be discreet, be quiet.
Now I've got to tell you, the thought of fucking someone in an
airport bathroom or sucking a Dick in air is just like
revolting to be honest because airport bathrooms are so gross.
It's smell like farts and they are just not a conducive to
Eroticism. Do you remember this was a old
story, but there was like a senator or some, you know,
typical conservative Republican who was caught cruising in an
airport bathroom because they were secretly homosexual.
And that's what they did. And the whole thing that he
would do and was the thing was that ways you could tell if
someone was looking for sex in the airport bathroom was that
they would have a wide stance and then they would tip, tip,
tap under the stall with their foot.
So that is something I always think of.
Look out for the wide stance and tap, tap, tap.
But please don't hit on me in the airport bathroom because it
just smells like butthole and not in a good way.
OK #7 Don't take any valuables with you, OK?
Don't take your Rolex or the ring your grandma gave you girl
when you go into the gay sauna and don't wear any expensive
underwear because you might leave it somewhere and someone
else will pick it up while you're getting fucked.
And that is a good advice. I mean, if you're going out
cruising or whatever and you think you're going to get naked
in public, just, you know, leave the shittiest stuff on.
We don't, we don't. We don't need all of your bed.
We don't need your Birkin to be stolen while you get loads.
No #8 this is good advice. Don't.
And I've got to tell you, this article comes with the the the
most erotic Getty Images that they could find, or the most
erotic Shutterstock images that they could find that vaguely
looked like what this article was.
So for the valuables, they had like a man with a camera.
And then now for this one, they have a man seemingly about to
unbutton his pants #8 don't whip it out without being 100% sure.
Now. If you do everything correctly,
you make eye contact, you wait for him to play with himself
over his shorts after he sees you playing with yourself over
your shorts. That's very specific, but that
is good advice. I mean, you should make eye
contact and look. If you see some guy looking at
you, staring at you, rubbing his Dick through his shorts and then
you're rubbing your Dick through your shorts, you can be sure we
know where this is heading. There's not a lot of question
about where it's going to be. So if you follow those tips,
then you know, if you whip it out, someone should be dropping
to their knees because everyone knows the deal.
But don't just surprise somebody with whipping it out.
Being like, you were looking at me.
I thought you were cruising me. I'm embarrassing #9 And this is
included with a shutterstock photo of a man, I guess, in his
car after getting pulled over by the police.
Don't get caught. This is arguably the biggest
Don't be smart, but subtle exist in the shadows.
No one should ever know you were there, or at least know what you
were doing. I mean, recently I did Make Love
to a man in the back of his truck.
At. In a park in Arizona.
That's right, he lived with his homophobic father and brother
and could not host. And he said, no, let's just meet
up at this park and you can fuck me in the back of my truck.
And you know what I did And he but he had that the truck was
set up, honey, and he had all the windows covered and he was
ready for me to make a sweet, sweet loved him in the back of
that truck. And in just in case the cops
came a Dick on the window they couldn't have seen.
We would have had a few minutes to put our clothes on.
Be like just nothing, officer, just reading a book, just
reading a book. I mean, I did I I did complete.
So I guess I have made love in public and completed.
But I mean, that was in, you know, you're not like underneath
the tree. I mean, I still feel like you're
inside. It's like being camping or
something. This may be TMI, but this is gay
as fuck. And what are we doing?
We're being gay as fuck #10 Last but not least, thank you
article. Don't feel any shame after.
I have so many friends who experience incredible amounts of
guilt after cruising. They think it's dirty or wrong.
Don't slut shame yourself. That said, if you think you're
struggling with sex addiction then seek help.
And this are. And next to it they have a man
lying in a field with his hand on his head.
Like I'm so guilty. I mean, don't feel it.
Don't feel any shame. Come on, sweetie, you're a gay
guy. This is what you.
This is, this is it. This is, this is part of it.
Sex is fun. Live a little thank you article.
Now along with this, right on the same page as this is a link
to this article, is a link to another listicle which again,
was written 5 minutes before someone had to go on vacation.
But it is we we'll cover it regardless.
And it's five most popular cruising spots where the gays go
to get lucky. And they are.
I mean, they're like the amount of work put into this article
and the Shutterstock quota to make me laugh #5 universities,
colleges is place for exploring and experimenting.
Cruising is one of the best ways to do both of those things #4
the gym. The gym is already home to
sweating and grunting and showering and changing in front
of each other and deep male bonding, so it's a perfect place
to add a little casual, anonymous sex #3 residential
buildings. That's not general.
If the outdoors and public spaces are a little too public,
residential towers might be your ideal cruising spot.
That is creepy. We're just going to cruise the
hallways of residential buildings hoping that somebody
lets you in. That's not a good idea.
Article Public restrooms. Public restroom sex is dirty,
nasty, dangerous, and sexy as hell.
I disagree, but here we are. And number one, the park, the
ultimate cruising spot. Most major cities have one park
that's well known, at least in the gay community for cruising.
There's lots of space to wander, people come to the park to walk
around, and plenty of secluded spots.
Plus the beauty of nature. Thank God.
I did once visit the Rambles in Central Park during the day to
see like what was what, and there were a few men there sort
of just like lurking. But I've never been in like a
like a park situation where it's really like thick like I've not
been, though I have been to Fire Island.
I've never been through the meat rack when it's like real, you
know, Dicks out time, you know what I mean?
That might be interesting. I'll have to get it.
Just check that out, though. A classic tale is Adam Joseph,
my friend and producer of the song Bussy talked about going to
this place in Boston when he went to school there, which was
by the Fenway Park. And it was like by the Fens and
it's again, it's a little sort of public park.
And they went in him and his girlfriend and another gay guy
like went into the the cruising area and we're like being like,
you know, dorks and like giggling and laughing.
And one of the Queens that was in there cruising or getting his
Dick sucked saw them with their girlfriend and said, get that
fucking fish out of here. I always remember that.
Get that fucking. Fish out of here.
Now moving on let's get to this pride.com article.
Honey it's a big one. 101 Gay Sex Tips You Didn't Learn in Sex
Ed class. Now if you are a gay guy who or
anyone actually who went to sex Ed class in high school, you
know there was not even 1 gay sex tip or it was the fact that
gay probably was not even acknowledged.
So we, you know, we sometimes do need these tips because we never
got them earlier and I figured we would just go through these
and see what we think. At least the 1st 25 because
honey 101 will be here for hours and will be the judge of this
and see what we think about these 101 gay sex tips #1
there's more to sex than anal penetration.
Now disagree. Like everyone can do what they
want. But honey, for me that's the
whole point. Getting it in, getting your Dick
wet as they call it. They say though in this there's
a focus in mainstream media on penetrative sex.
It has to be PNB otherwise it doesn't count as real sex.
This is ridiculous. Define sex for yourself.
Don't let society define it for y'all.
I define it for myself and I want PNB.
You know what I mean. I want my P and your B #2.
It's OK to vocalize and explore your fantasies and say no to the
ones you're uncomfortable with. That is very true.
I mean, you and this is the good thing about this is what I enjoy
about Grinder or any of the apps is that, you know, in your
communications with people, you can really lay out exactly
what's going to happen in the encounter and what you want to
happen in the encounter. So when you get there, there's
no guesswork of like wonder what we're going to do or what this
person wants. I mean, you've, you've talked
about it, so I think that's very important.
You should be very clear about what's going to go on when you
get there, who's going to do what so that there's no
questions up in the air. You can just lean back, relax
and or you know, lean forward and push in or do whatever it
takes to enjoy yourself and make sure it's clear what you also do
not want to do because you should never do anything you do
not want to do. Never do anything risky for sex.
I mean, let's define risk. They say when you're younger,
sex seems like the most important thing in the world.
It also seems scarce. Sex isn't scarce ever.
You can have as much sex as you want, especially if you don't
care you're having sex with. There's never a reason to put
yourself in a dangerous situation for sex.
Well yes, don't like throw yourself off a Cliff.
I mean what would what would that?
I don't know why you would throw yourself off a Cliff.
That what the Dick is at the bottom and you're trying to land
on it? I don't know.
In this article they show someone in the picture is a
shutterstock photo of someone the hitchhiking.
I guess don't hitchhike and then try to have sex.
But I mean, like I said, if you're going to, you know, meet
a man in a public park and fuck in the back of his truck, like
there's nothing wrong with that, is there?
No there's not, You can never use too much Lube.
I mean that is true. If you are trying to put your
Dick in somebody's ass you're going to want to make sure it's
nice and lubed up though. I am a fan of spit, you know
what I mean? Age is just a number.
Well, as someone who makes love to a lot of younger men, I
definitely agree with this. Sex with older men and younger
men can be a lot of fun. Older men tend to have more
experience than you and they can teach you a thing or two in the
sack. That is true.
Don't be a just go for the silk over fox or you're just your
local neighborhood hairy shoulder dad.
Try multiple lubes and splurge on the one you like.
Actually try multiple lubes and then splurge on the one that
your bottom likes. That's what you it's really all
about which one your partner's into.
Again, there's a couple things about condoms.
We don't even know what that is. Rimming is a thing that that is
true. They say it's probably more
common than you think, especially in the gay male
community. Yeah.
I mean, honey, if you're, if you're trying to fuck somebody
and you're not reming them before you do it, what the fuck
is wrong with you? I mean, honey, that's one of the
best parts of the whole thing. As long as that person is
prepared, as they say this article, it's important to be
careful and clean as a whistle while reming honey.
We're not looking for any dirty trombones, OK?
I don't want to think you have dirty pennies in your asshole
giving you a kiss down there. You know what I mean?
Great sexual chemistry can confuse you into thinking
there's something more there, I guess.
But I mean, to me, look, I have made love on the first night to
every young man that I have had a long term relationship with.
Like I've not ever dated someone and not done it on the first
night. So to me, I think like that,
that is, I mean, that's one of the beauties of being gay.
I don't think you have to wait and I don't think it makes a
difference either. I think like if you meet someone
and you have chemistry and you have sex right away, doesn't
mean you're not going to get into a relationship with them.
I mean, I wouldn't expect it from Grinder or certainly not
Sniffy's. But look, I know plenty of
couples who have met on Grinder or Sniffy's.
I definitely met several boyfriends on Grinder so you
never know. I disagree with that one.
You can be multi orgasmic as a man.
It's a real thing. It's something that can enhance
your sex life twofold. It takes a few months to become
multi orgasmic and a lot of work, but it's definitely worth
it in the end. I mean you can as a top.
You can make your bottom multi orgasmic for sure.
Being a bottom, top or verse doesn't define you.
There's more to you than your sexual preference.
Disagree, sorry. I'm just a very straightforward
top. But you know what though it's
true, it is true. I'm only kidding.
I mean being a top bottom reverse doesn't define you.
Do whatever you want. But you look.
All tops should have bottomed at one point.
If you're a top who has never bottomed in their whole life,
no, no, you got to know what it's like when someone's trying
to ram their Dick inside you to know how to do it correctly.
So if you're a top who's never bottomed, get down there
sweetie, Get going. And that's what your 20s is for,
to figure out what you like. If you have never done it all,
how do you know what you like? Otherwise, you're just letting
society decide for you. Like you're like, well, I'm not
a bomb because it's not masculine or whatever.
And that has nothing to do with it.
Masculine has nothing to do with it.
It's really about your preference, but you can't tell
what your preference is unless you've tried it all.
Keep a towel on your bed during sex.
Disagree. Look maybe like come on you
should have some. You should maybe have like a sex
blanket or a sex whatever. I'm not a fan of like party and
above played sheets, but I mean, look, if you're going to, what
are you going to put a towel down for someone to get fucked
in your bed? Baby, just do the laundry.
You know what I mean? If something happens, do the
laundry. Maybe if you're in a hotel room
and it's in the middle of the night and you're, you know, you
don't want to have to call room service and pour a pot of coffee
on your bedspread and be like, I spilled coffee in the middle of
the night and I need you to change my bedspread.
I mean, I guess you could, but to me it feels like you'll lay
down on this towel. Open relationships can work.
What a tip. I agree.
I mean, I actually was not an open relationship person for
many years, mostly because of my own insecurity.
But when I came into my own and was in a relationship that I
felt very secure in, I was able to be in an open relationship
and realized that I loved it. I mean, I Sir, I don't think I
would be in a fully monogamous relationship again.
I mean, I guess never say never. I mean, you could be totally in
love with somebody and whatever, but I don't think, I don't
personally don't think that it matters.
I think sex doesn't mean that much.
And you people build up so much on to cheating or whatever.
Like, you know, some dude that I'm I'm with has sex with
somebody on the side does not mean that I need to be jealous
or upset about it. It's just, you know, a physical
manifestation of having fun. They say open relationships are
different than polyamorous relationships.
With polyamorous relationships, you're open to the idea of
loving multiple people. But an open relationship.
You love one person and sleep with others, either together or
separately. I mean, I, I think I, I thought
my open relationship lasted for many, many, many, many years and
what we broke up had nothing to do with any part of the open
part of the relationship. And I think I would probably
have an open relationship again if I the next time I date
someone. The next time I date someone, I
would definitely be into an open relationship again.
I do think that some people talk about having of the first few
months or whatever where you're not open, which is good because
I one thing about an open relationship that I think is
important is that you're not sitting there, you know,
searching for sex while you're next to the person you're with.
When I was in my open relationship, it would really be
when you were away from your partner.
If they were out of town or you were, you were out of town.
If I was on tour or something like that, then everybody should
be free to do whatever. But I don't want to be lying in
bed next to my boyfriend having them scroll on Grinder looking
for Dick when my Dick is right there.
You know what I'm saying? So to each their own darling.
To each their own. Cut your nails before putting
them in anybody part baby. This is so true.
Before I am about to Make Love to any gentleman, I make sure my
nails are trimmed down honey. Because if you look, if you
could claim someone's butt hole, you don't need to accidentally
slice them with your talents, honey.
No Can you imagine? And Oh my goodness, no.
So yes, cut your damn nails. Sex in front of a mirror is
fucking awesome. It's simple, it's cheap, and
almost everyone has a mirror in their room.
It's really sexy to see yourself.
I disagree, but maybe that's my body dysmorphia talking.
I don't need to see myself having sex.
No I do not. I like to stay in my in in in
the moment with the other person, not think about what I'm
looking at. No, we don't need that.
But to each their own. Again, sex in a car isn't all
that fun. Your head will be smushed, you
won't have enough space if you can avoid it.
Rd. head on the other hand is sexy as hell.
Also very dangerous and illegal. So a dude at your own risk.
I've had plenty of sex in different cars.
Like we mentioned the truck. And yes, sex in the back of a
Toyota Corolla isn't ideal, but it's still fun.
Don't ever call any friend a slut.
Disagree. Just be proud of being a slut
and don't call any prude friend. And don't call any friend a
prude. I don't even know who who who
would call who a prude. This is a different type of
friend group than I than I have. No one cares about that zit on
your back. Which is another way of saying
get out of your head during sex. Enjoy the moment, don't slit the
small stuff. Exactly why I don't look in the
mirror while I'm fucking. Maybe people with perfect bodies
who have no body issues can do that.
But again, sit on your back, sit on your butt.
All those little things that you think people are looking at,
they're not. So relax.
Wait however long or little you want to have sex.
Correct. If you want a bone on the first
night, do it. They say, as I did.
I've dated and loved many men who I've had sex with on the
first night. Waiting for sex, while it can
foster an emotional connection, doesn't automatically do that.
Know yourself. Agree.
You can say no or stop at any point, correct.
Now look, the one powerful phrase that I have had over the
years is I'm sorry, this is not working for me.
Because sometimes look, you, especially if you're meeting up
with people on an app and you're just, you know, you may have
talked, but you're really meeting them for the first time.
Someone can come in not look exactly like they did in their
pictures or even when you start, the vibe just might be off.
And there is great power in being able to say, I'm sorry,
but this just isn't working for me.
That's it. You don't have to be like, I'm
not into you. This is it.
You're ugly. You don't look the same.
You can just say this is not working for me.
I think that's good power. And if anyone says that to you,
just say, oh, so sorry. Sounds good.
Sorry. Bye.
Biting can be sexy, I agree. I mean they say, but biting to
the point of bruising or severe pain isn't sexy, obviously,
unless you've both discussed that, but I do a little a little
bite is good. You have to have good bite
technique. It shouldn't hurt, it should
feel good. Look get get into the biting.
We'll talk about that later. Last but not least for this
edition in case is Prep pre exposure prophylactics.
Everything about Prep should be taught in sex Ed.
What it is, how it's helpful in protecting queer men from
requiring HIV side effects, who should be on it everyone and how
to go about asking your doctor for it, which insurance covers
it, most of it, etcetera. I mean I need the freedom of
Prep. Look, you can still get STI's
but you know, after all these years of being afraid, I mean I
spent so many years in my youth thinking anytime I had a slip up
with not using a condom or any kind of encounter like that,
that I was going to be HIV positive.
And so the to be on Prep and know that that is not the case
was a godsend. And of course, turned everyone
into a bareback cum dump slut. So that's fun too.
But yeah, if you're having sex with strangers and you're having
bareback sex, get on prep, honey, Don't fuck around.
This is a pretty interesting list.
Gives us lots to talk about. Maybe we'll consider doing.
There's literally another 60 items in this list.
If you want to hear more and in another gay sex episode, let me
know. And last but not least, here is
the list of the 20 hottest men alive according to straight
guys. This is interesting.
This is what supposedly straight who straight guys think are hot,
starting with Harrison Ford. OK, a classic.
I mean maybe if you love if you love a silver daddy, he has
still got it together. I saw him in the latest Indiana
Jones with his shirt off and maybe he is still had it
together. So God bless him.
Bradley Cooper. OK, he's seeming less and less
straight, especially now that he's had that facelift and wig,
but OK, Pedro Pascal also think he's gay.
Is he gay? Why do we get such gay vibes
from him? Is it just wishful thinking?
Jensen Eccles? I have absolutely no idea who
that is. Maybe it's a sports person.
Johnny Depp. Look, Johnny Depp back in the
80s, in the 90s perhaps, but Johnny Depp today, it's a hard
now. OK, no, not $42,000 a week.
Wine drinking, long hair, Ascot round glasses, married to Amber
Heard, Johnny Depp, No George Clooney.
Again. It's a faded glory, but it's
still, it still looks good. And he whether with if he has a
facelift or a wig, it doesn't look like it.
He's aging very naturally. So chef's kiss, good for him.
Not my speed, but I see why straight guys might be into it.
Jake Gyllenhaal definitely should have been #1 on this
list. I feel like Jake Gyllenhaal is
the type of guy that is in that same that club where straight
guys would be like well if I have to do it with one guy would
be like Jake Gyllenhaal though. I mean, if you look at the blind
items for many, many years, Toothy Tile is supposed to be
Jake Gyllenhaal and he is supposed to be homosexual, but I
guess we'll never find out until somebody spills the full D.
Chris Evans, Captain America, also a wig wearer, but he wears
a good one. And yes, very hot.
I can see why straight guys would want to fuck Captain
America silly. And Murphy?
An odd choice. OK, maybe they like his feminine
eyes. Michael B Jordan.
Yes, I can see he also falls in that same club of Jake
Gyllenhaal. So handsome, such a great body
that of course, even straight guys are like, yeah, I'd do it.
Hugh Jackman. Another look more than, like,
rumors. Hugh Jackman, honey, he he gay.
I mean, I just can't imagine that he's not gay.
Keanu Reeves still got it after all these years.
But when he was, especially in the 90s, like we're talking my
own private Idaho era, it was very beautiful.
Tom Hardy. Agree 100%, he is still one of
the hottest men out there and I can see why straight guys would
want him to ram their holes. Idris Elba, yes get it?
Jason Momoa. Jason Momoa is someone who and
sometimes looks more handsome and hot than anyone I've ever
seen and then in other times looks not hot at all.
But go ahead straight guys. You want to fuck Aquaman?
I get it. Chris Hemsworth.
Another one should be the top of the list.
Everybody wants to fuck Chris Hemsworth.
Ryan Gosling. I would have said 100% everybody
wants to fuck Ryan Gosling until he got all that filler in his
face and look like a monster with a wing.
But I'm sure the fit facial filler shit will dissolve.
But if we're talking like, what was that movie where he was
naked in the locker room and that redhead lady was in it and
Steve Carell was in it like a crazy thing called lover.
I forget what the fuck it was called, but he was sort of naked
in the locker room and she says, like, you look like AI forget
you. Whatever it was, he looked
incredible, but not anymore. That facial work is a no Brad
Pitt. His children hate him, but stray
kinds love him. Henry Cavill, yes, should be
again another one at the very top of the list.
Everybody wants Henry Cavill. The highlight of Deadpool and
Wolverine was the alternate universe where Henry Cavill was
playing Wolverine. Because that shower did look
good. I mean, Henry Cavill could get
it and get it 1,000,000%. And last but not least, the guy
that was originally probably the number one on everyone's list
for this as a straight guy who what man you'd have sex with and
it was Ryan Reynolds in his youth.
Ryan Reynolds is less appealing to me now because he's married
to Blake Lively and he is pushing it, but he still kept
his looks together. But I mean, I'm talking two
guys, a girl in a pizza place, Ryan Reynolds.
I'm talking all those cheesy movies where he showed his ass a
lot that Ryan Reynolds was chef's kiss and I was obsessed.
And so are all these straight guys.
And of course, if you look at the blind items, Ryan Reynolds
and Hugh Jackman have made love to each other.
So never know. All right, well, I hope you
enjoyed this all. Oh, hey, Chacha, what are you
bar? What are you barking about?
The episode's almost over. My little dog is making some
loud sounds. When you got to go, Peppa, just
wait a minute. Well, I hope you enjoyed today's
episode. That's all.
That's all the time. And if you want more episodes
like this, let me know. Now, a great way to let me know
you're enjoying the show is by leaving me a review on iTunes.
Me and every other fucking person that has a podcast always
ask that at the end of every podcast.
And do we ever do such a thing? No, we do not.
But you know what? I would like for you to actually
do it. Go ahead, leave me a review.
Leave. You could do just the star
rating, but you know, when I'm having a bad day, it would be
nice for me to be able to look at the reviews and go that that
meant a lot that they like the show.
It's worth continuing on doing it and if you really want to
show me some love, join me over on patreonpatreon.com/gist of
All Time Baby. That is the only place you're
going to see the fully uncensored Bussy video.
There is way too much ass going on in that video for me to put
the uncensored version out for public consumption because I'll
be kicked off every motherfucking platform.
So if you want to see the uncensored Bussy video, join me
at patreon.com/gist of All time. I had a have a great time with
you today, baby, and I'll see you on the next episode of Gay
as. Fuck bye baby overnight XL and
triple X when you twerk it. Sex, sex, sex, sex.
I know you can work that ass. Move it all around me to Queen,
say yes. Pump it up and down, now work a
little harder. Do it for Daddy, not for your
mother, baby. I know you can work Daddy.
Move it all around me to Queen. Say yes, pump it up and down.
Now work a little harder. Pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy
pussy pussy cookie cookie cookie cookie pussy pussy pussy pussy
pussy pussy pussy pussy cookie cookie cookie cookie about a
pound fuck the floor grind it down arch the back wiggle
bounces round juicy hidesight beefy smooth out of sight furry
fuzzy song of the teeny asses magic booty Houdini and ass SO51
3UP the raid booty so big keep pulling on the tray pussy on
fire frosted spray Pretty Little.
Stripper with ass for that. So tight, so white, so fresh, so
clean, pure for men. Water clean on your knees.
That's in the air. Work that body and make them all
stare. Thigh, calf, I said.
The killer legs and a whole lot of ass.
Just wanna clap this squeeze and smack here.
Come on little buddy. Little little faster up in the
strip club. Ass is a weapon flexing on hoes
the world. Stupid category.
Is ass. Almighty, he's a booty Zeus
Aphrodite rotted pony, Magic Mike ass shot, third strap.
Do it for the lies. Do it for the lies.
Do it for the lies, stop there strap.
Do it for the likes, stop there strap, stop there strap, stop
there strap. Do it for the likes, baby.
I know you can work. Dead ass move it all around me,
the Queen say yes. Pump it up and down.
Now work a little harder. Do it for daddy, not for your
father. I put my.
Finger in his ass personally so I know his ass was loose.