It's a Kiki with Johnny Nick G gonna spill all that tea, all my
LGBTS. You're in luck because Johnny
McGovern is gay as fuck. Hello everyone, and welcome back
to Gay as Fuck. I am still your host, Mr. John T
Mcgoverness. He who is.
Oh baby, it has been a minute. Last we spoke, I was going to
come back for the season finale of Gay as Fuck, but then, honey,
things took a dark turn. The election.
Oh yes, we have a new horrible president.
The fires. Uh huh.
I could see the fire from my damn house.
And so many more things. I mean, things that you might
file under in the immortal words of Coco Aviance, the world,
Johnny, the world. So I had to take a little pause
from this show because I did not really find a lot of things
funny in the world. But honey, you know, I pushed
through. And you know where I pushed
through over at the Patreon, OK? Because if you missed me, if you
missed me and wanted to hear everything I've been saying
about everything going on in pop culture all over the place, the
Grammys, the pop girlies, the stars, the songs, the gossip,
the tea, Honey, then you know I no matter what, even through all
the drama and the trauma, I was still posting over at
patreon.com/guest of All Time. And honey, that is the place
where you can always find me. Now look, there are going to be
some changes here with Gay AF because honey, look, you know
what this is? This show is really just an
entree for you to join me over on the Patreon, OK?
The Patreon is where we're spilling the tea, giving the
secrets, giving the the uncensored honest opinions,
getting in, reading, shading, laughing, loving.
So I will be bringing gay as fuck back here to entice you
once a month for the foreseeable future honey.
But if you start to miss me then you know exactly where to go.
And where is that Johnny? I will tell you Johnny to
patreon.com/gist of all time. Now look, before we get started,
sweetie, I'm going to direct you to GIST of all time Patreon one
more time because of that is the only place you will be able to
see my new uncensored music video Dad Rave.
That's right, I wrote a song for my new album called Dad Rave.
It's a song about how I do not drink or do drugs anymore.
But if you want to party with me, we don't need to go to a
club. We don't need the lasers.
We don't need life just coming to the bedroom.
We'll have a dad rave. You can see the video now.
It's on Instagram. It's on the Daddy Hunt app,
YouTube channel. And of course, if you want to
see all the real good stuff, honey, 'cause this time, this
time after the bussy dramas and trials where, honey, they were
taking me down from YouTube, they were suppressing me.
I said, you know what? Yeah, let me not try to push the
limits, OK? Let me just make a video that
can stay on motherfucking YouTube and let me put all the
butts and jiggling junk over on the Patreon in this video.
It's quite a delight. It was a help shot for me by the
team of Mr. Brad Hammer, who's made some incredible videos with
many queer people. Sponsored by Q Care, the place
where you can get prep online, as well as the Daddy Hunt app
that tells A classic tale of two young men, twinks who love dads.
Two young men who are hitting the town at midnight in DTLA and
they walk up to the club holding the flyer for the Dad Rave and
the bouncers are today, you guys in the right place.
They said, yeah, bets we're in the right place and they show
them the Dad Rave flyer and they go into the rave, which is full
of dads of every type, dancing, being sexy and doing dad rave
type of things. Let's get into it, honey.
Before we get into anything else, let's get into my brand
new song Dad Rave. You can stream it on Apple
Music, Spotify, you can buy it, and if you want to see the
uncensored version of the video, of course you know where to go.
But here we go. Exclusive exclusive world
premiere Dead River. Don't hit the truck, don't hit
the truck no more. Ain't going to festivals.
Don't drink no more no drug spectacles.
Y'all can't hurry. Good lasting Burry EDC is not
going to be, but if you want to party or resign to leave,
there's just one place you got to be.
It's more hardcore, got you on the floor, so throw your hammer.
Dead rave Dead rave coming to my dad rave.
We don't need no lasers and lights.
Dead rave Dead rave Riding on my sound wave Party with your daddy
tonight Dead rave Dead rave Hairy 'cause we don't shave.
Work your sex and body for me Dead rave Dead rave Coming to my
dad rave. Live your daddy.
I love the music, I love to dance, but I'd rather be in your
pants. And by the rule I ain't going
Boo. That's something for them cares
to do. Go chill out now for this fair
lie. I'd rather bend you.
I'll go pillow. It's more hardcore.
Got you on the floor, so roll your hands.
Come into my dad ribs. We don't need no little lights.
Dad Ray. Dad Ray.
Riding on my Soundwave party with your daddy.
Some night signs. Dad Ray.
Ray. Very cold.
We don't shave. Work your six and buy them for
me. I ain't going no club.
I ain't going on the damn floor. I ain't bending dollars for
water. Day, breathe.
Day breathe. Riding on my ground.
We're partying with your bed tonight.
Day day, day, Day breathe. Day breathe.
Day. Breathe.
Well, please stream her, honey, share her, give her a like on
Instagram and all the rest. Now look, I'm not the only star
with the new music. Last week's Grammys Blunt Bang
wig Lady Gaga took over a whole commercial break, honey, to
bring you the full the Abracadabra video.
Which, honey, actually, she's giving it to me.
I mean, I'm not always a Lady Gaga stand and certainly not
rock Lady Gaga or jazz Lady Gaga or Joanne Lady Gaga, None of
those Lady Gagas. I don't mind them, do not mind
them, but I do not live OK. And I I don't mean even I'm not
even a porn this way, queen. You know what I mean?
I'm more of a Jew dude, my OP And of course I want to take a
ride. I'm a disco stick.
I'm I'm a dapper dude that Doo Doo Just Dance.
It'll be OK Dada Doo Doo. I'm a Dada Doo Doo Doo.
So you know that if I am a Dada Doo Doo and I'm a Judah Judah,
that means that this is a moment for me to love Gaga again
because we are back to making up words.
Thank goodness. Abracadabra Abrahunan.
You know it's good when she's throwing in a Gaga because you
know what we don't want, and I know it's an unpopular opinion,
but we don't care about rain on me.
We do not care about that and we don't care about I want just you
think I should have loved that because of the but I did not.
But abracadabra honey yes, the lady in red evil Gaga looking at
angelic Gaga with hard dancing with honey Balenciaga giving a
with the new cane motif for Lady Gaga's villain because we saw in
the disease video, she also did a little low slung cane dance.
I'm excited to see what the narrative of this little cane
lady, the cane villainous and her cane villainous dancing.
This was another Paris Gobel choreography moment, honey.
I mean, of course Paris Gobel did Rihanna at the Super Bowl.
She's, I mean, pretty much any big girl.
She did Jlo at everything. I think she even did the Jlo,
you know, that show that which shall not be named.
This is me now. But that wasn't her fault.
She pretty much every big star, I mean, of course, Sierra, ever
think of any? I mean, pretty much every lady
star has hired her to give her a little bit of that juice.
And baby, she gave the juice to Lady Gaga, honey, because when
we get to Abracadabba cup in the bar, feel baby until your feet
the world's on fire. That's when faggots start
faggoting. You know what I mean?
We all can enjoy Lady Gaga when she starts giving us things like
feel the beat until you beat the birds on fire, then we really
start faggoting it out. And let me tell you, you know
the faggots are faggoting when the Queens are giving you the
shows based on the video within 24 hours.
I mean, most notably, and as noted by Billboard magazine,
Jansport of RuPaul's Drag Race got her team together with
Andrew Barrett Cox, who writes a lot of songs for the girls.
And they in New York did a not only did they do all the
choreography, but honey, they sang the verses live.
And I want to just say round of applause, a round of applause
for Jan and Andrew and all the rest.
Honey, they did it 24 hours after the song came out.
Honey, they lip sync to the chorus, I think.
But they were singing those verses, which are not easy live,
while doing all the motherfucking dancing.
Of course, including the chair dancing in which Gaga has been
heralded by her disabled fans, is saying, you know what she was
thinking about us. She gave us a chair dance.
And you know what? We all love a chair dance, OK?
A dance in which we don't always have to get up to do it because
don't we all want to do the chair choreography, the sitting
down choreography where it goes red to the white to the red to
the white to the, you know, what I'm talking about when I say I
think is that move with the hand shaking and the other hand
shaking. Love it.
Can't get enough. Fantastic.
And also at the Grammys, she was wearing what blunt bang wig Also
noted noted that Lady Gaga was the only one of who was sticking
up for us at the Grammys. Another reason why I can get
behind the Lady Gaga. So trans people are not
invisible. Queer community is not
invisible. Thank you Lady Gaga.
All the rest of these motherfucking pussies ain't sad
shit, thank you Lady Gaga. I think Lady Gaga is also
wearing face tapes like Dochi but hers are underneath her wig.
I mean. And I if you want to hear me
talk about the Grammys in depth, we did 2 actual shows on the
Grammys on the Patreon. One with my immediate unhinged
reaction to the entire ceremony, and another one with me and the
countiest critic of all time, Mr. Adam Josephita, breaking
down the performances and what we thought and what we lived for
and what we did not live for. But of course, as you know, if
you know me and you know this show, I have been riding hard
for Doji since, well, not since the beginning because I was not
like there during yucky blucky fruitcake or anything like that
era many, many years ago. But you know, since about 2021,
honey, I've been in the Dochi train and I've been living and
I've been so excited to see Dochi just like, you know,
killing it. I mean that Colbert performance
of the She Did a If you've not seen Go Dochi, I'm fucking
Colbert in the Gucci pencil skirt, Gucci polo with her
braids and the backup dancers dressed exactly like her and
their braids attached. It is one of the most incredible
performances I've ever seen on a late night show ever.
I just recently watched it again this morning and I was and I
lived and I gagged. And Dochi's just so beautiful
and so smart and and she is dancing.
And as I can attest from seeing Dochi live at Gay Pride this
past summer, unlike the other girls, we may have mentioned
this before, but unlike the other girls, Nikki, Lil' Kim,
Foxy Brown, I mean pretty much any lady rapper, the biggest
stars. A lot of times when you see them
perform live, they're yelling the hit over of their hit over
there part where they're singing on the record they're yelling
at. Then there's even worse another.
Guy yelling at in the background too.
Dochi does not have to double hern vocals.
Everything sounds exactly like the motherfucking record gag
live. She slayed it on the Grammys,
she won best rap album, she gagged them all in Tom Brown
fashion, and she stripped out to a Tom Brown jock strap, all with
her face tape, honey. And if you've ever when people
Doji said, if you want to know why I'm wearing the face tape,
it's because it's cut. Thank you, Doji, for being
perfect in every single fucking way.
Oh my God, love it. Well, also in the on the Gaga
performance Abracadabra train. I also want to give a notable
honorable mention shout out to India Farah, baby India Farah,
yes, of of the fame of who got picked up by oh, what's her
name, Mimi. I'm first.
God, I knew her. I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry to that man, the one who got picked up and spun
around by Mimi. I'm first on Drag Race, honey.
We know she's had a spotty, weird career.
Her last appearances on Drag Race.
We're mostly fighting with Derek Berry.
But you can't take away her talent because baby, go to her
Instagram and watch her performance of Abracadabra.
Now she's doing the lady in red kind of, you know, like I
already had it in my closet version of the lady in red.
No, look, I don't have any outfits like that in my closet.
So congratulations to this woman.
But baby, the performance, the mastery of the moves.
Again, these are just days after it came out.
I mean, I watched it and I wrote fire emojis in the first few
seconds and then I watched the whole thing.
She did the mini cane dance part, the mini cane dance part.
And afterwards, I had to write another comment that said, fuck,
this was good. So props to your Mama.
You got to give props to your Mama where they're deserved.
An India Farah's version of Abracadabra is a props to your
Mama type a moment. OK, so don't withhold the props
from your Mama. The Grammys.
Look, I mean, look again. I told you I've talked about the
Grammys deeply. If you want that, go to the
Patreon. But let's do talk about.
Benson Boone. And now look, we all know Benson
Boone. If you don't know him, he's the
guy who says please stay. I want you to beep it down.
No, babe, babe, he was a fresh faced cutie who auditioned for
Katy Perry and them on American Idol not too many years ago.
And I think perhaps the story is, and I haven't taken the time
to do the research, but I remember he did not make it all
the way because maybe he got basically discovered before it
was too late. And they said bitch, drop out of
American Idol coweck because they're going to own your ass,
you don't need them, get the fuck out.
And he did. And now, thanks to TikTok, he is
a star in his own and he was nominated for best new artist.
But what I would like to nominate him for is best sweet
tight body, juicy ass and thick Dick.
Because that's a Grammys. He did a very clunky striptease
where Nikki Glaser and Heidi Klum ripped off his tux to
reveal his skin tight bodysuit jumpsuit, which, as we mentioned
on the Patreon podcast, was quite I'll fitting in some
manners. But you know, obviously I I
enjoyed it because we saw that juicy ass and he made headlines
for grabbing his junk at the end.
And then he made headlines for apologizing for grabbing his
junk at the end. And it sent a million people
running droves to try to find if there are nude pictures of him
of his ass and Dick. Now, if you look up Benson Boone
on LPSG, which is of course, Large Penis Support Group, which
is of course where I went immediately when I wanted to see
about if I could see some nudes of Benson Boone.
Because I figured, look, this is a young man who is, you know,
you're the Dick pic generation. I mean, anyone, anyone under 40
is the Dick pic generation. I mean you everybody has a Dick
pic. So I assumed he must have some
nudes somewhere that somebody had.
Now when you go on LPSG to look for Benson Boone, it says he's
on the do not post list, which means he's had a lot of nudes
posted before and his lawyers have called and come to get them
and said do not be posted these nudes.
So though the post is like we God bless faggots because
they're like, we can't say his name and we can't post pictures,
but we can talk about him. And in that thread of them
talking about how hot he is, someone said his record label
did a great job of cleaning up those nudes, which made me say
that means there are nudes out there to be had.
And baby, I found them. You know where I found them on
and I've recently tried to find them again for someone else and
I I cannot locate them under just Benson Boone nudes.
You know, I think I took like a left turn at something else.
But there is a international website which I believe is
called famous all noodles or something like that and all his
the entire collection of his nudes.
If they are to be believed. And believe me, they seem like
they are to be believed because honey, you know that I am a fake
nude expert. I mean, I I'm from you know, I
graduated College in the 90s when I was secretly J owing to
like fake Marky Mark nudes. I can tell a fake nude from 20
feet because the but I I'm still I am very interested in these
look real. These look like him.
They're but they're very active. Like there's one shot of him
like lying in his boxers with people.
This seems like a more recent one with with people rubbing his
body. He has a little mustache in that
one. And now here's somewhere he
looks fresh faced like he was on American Idol.
He has his arm up showing his pits with his hard Dick, which
looks like kind of a more like A5 incher, but the rest of the
body is so toy that it really doesn't matter.
We're not looking at the size, kind of thick, good balls, sweet
little tight ass. And he's kind of biting his lip
and thrusting. Then there's another picture of
him sitting on the bathroom floor with his legs spread,
definitely his little hole showing ABS, hard Dick, eyes
closed. Then another one where he's on
the toilet, like wanging his fucking Dang.
And then another one where he's fully legs up in the air,
holding the Dick with kind of a whoa.
And then there's another one where like he's put the phone on
the floor, he's leaning down, spreading his ass cheeks while
we see the hard deck. I mean, these are hard to fake
because of the angle. And another one where he's
standing by the door with a hard deck.
Let me tell you, they look good. They look good.
You're going to have to find those for yourself.
But I think it's like femoso noodles is where you'll you will
find it. OK, let's rewind to the Grammys
a little bit more, because of course, what am I interested in
when I think of the Grammys I'm interested in what Azalea bags
talk to Grammys. Okay, now she made some comments
in which we only can assume that we know who she's talking about.
Let's go to her Twitter and just pull it up.
Because really, what? What?
When I think of whose opinion do I want to know?
Who do I want to know? Who's reading for filth?
Everyone in the whole world. Maybe it's Azalea Banks.
Do we agree with her all the time?
No, we do not. But are we entertained?
Yes, we are. Now about before we get into
what Azalea thought about the Super Bowl, let's let's let's
scroll back to what she thought about the Grammys.
Now she starts off by throwing some sub limb, though not
terribly sub limb shade to Charlie.
Are you bummed now? Your bummed now, are you bummed
now Speaking of are you bump on that?
I mean, it's so on the nose. Have you seen the double vinyl
that Charlie released of Brat and then the remix album of BRAT
where the second disc is full of white powder?
I mean, literally, if you buy the disc, you shake it around,
it's all full of white powder. It's like, girl, are you Mama
now? Are you Mama now?
I mean, I gotta admit, it do take nerve.
It do take a nerve. But of course, what was Azalea
Banks comment on Charlie at the Grammys?
She said Coke, bloat, lip sync, not even worth the reaction.
Ouch. Now what did she think of Lady
Gaga? Now this is the nice thing.
Azalea Banks loves Lady Gaga which is very enjoyable to see.
When Azalea Banks like something she says no shade.
I'm not ready to accept abracadabra because I feel like
disease did not get its things and the song is so powerful.
The quarrels did not understand how major disease is.
Then she says OK Gaga. Who is this lady with the cane?
LMAO she keeps making appearances and I'm scared of
her. What is her story sis?
No it's a key. Who is this lady with the cane
character? OMGGGGGG and someone says it's
mayhem begging to consume her if she doesn't pursue her one true
passion, dancing, her pains from breaking her hip, being always
being the girl to take it away from her again.
OK thank you and fan but we're not looking for your opinion but
that that person's name is Chaotic Twunk so we can trust
them. I agree.
I like lady with the mini cane. Thank you Azalea for that one.
Now Azalea Banks did not enjoy Cynthia Rivos performance of
Flying Me to the Moon, which I actually thought was lovely.
Azalea Banks says this was some WB frog tap dancing unneeded
bullshit. We're not accepting her as some
sophisticated jazz singer because she's an extremely basic
half, OK? Not Audra MacDonald sideshow off
Off Broadway snore. If we're spotlighting new jazz
voices, we're pushing Samara Joy to the front.
Samara Joy is the jazz stop. OK Purr.
Cynthia did not deserve to sing with Herbie Hancock.
I could just do a whole episode about whatever is, Elliott says.
Oh my God. Now, as far as the Super Bowl
goes, now I look, we all knew when Kendrick was going to be
the halftime person, the not everyone was going to be singing
a lot of the tunes. I mean, he's very, I find him
very intriguing and interesting. But really, it's not like, Oh my
God, that's my favorite song except for of course, everybody
loves not like us. And it won, you know, record of
the year. But of course Azalea now.
It started by Azalea saying that Kendrick looked like a light
absorbency tampon, just little and useless.
Then she asked how was he allowed to allude to pedophilia
at the Super Bowl. They banned Janet Jackson for a
titty and Mia for a middle finger.
But now we can joke about pedophile at the Super Bowl.
I mean, that is actually quite interesting.
Now, look, the whole interesting part about Kendrick at the Super
Bowl was that, you know, everyone knew that Drake said he
was going to sue. And, you know, Nick Cannon went
on the radio and said, look, he's not going to perform not
like us. Because none of those big record
labels are going to let themselves get sued by Drake.
Because Drake is suing his own label, Universal Music Group,
Because because he's on the same label as Kendrick for promoting
and making him, you know, look bad.
Because he believes they were doing that.
Because he has his contract negotiation coming up and
they're trying to get him a lowball deal.
They're trying to fuck with him. And you know, no, even in the
middle of the Super Bowl, as we know, Kendrick kind of played it
being like, oh, you know, they love to sue.
We might not do that song. And then he went and performed
other stuff. And then of course, he did
perform the song. And everyone was a living,
especially when he smiled. Hey, Drake.
And he smiled, as many people said, smiled like he was in a
90s sitcom opening ceremony. I mean, I found that I thought
the whole thing was pretty great.
I mean, it was like a big video game.
Uncle Sam was played by Sam Jackson.
I thought it was great. Azalea did not agree.
And let's get into what she did not agree about.
She said the lip synching the bell bottoms.
Please not another urban act at the Super Bowl next year.
For crying out loud, Jay-Z, we don't want to see any more of
your friends and family up there.
The nepotism and hating is boring.
That would have been such a fine Wheezy performance.
Y'all could have had Kendrick do this at the Grammys.
Please no more nepotism. It's played because I guess
there is the narrative that everyone thought Wheezy should
have been Little Wayne should have been the New Orleans, you
know, headliner obviously. And she goes into quite a bit of
that. She also really gets into Subway
restaurants, foot long Oreo, Oreo cookie, which he's really
into. Like there's like four or five
books about that only that she talks about beef patties from
the corner store. I do love beef patties from the
corner store. I mean, it is interesting that
Kendrick Lamar, who though he is extremely critically acclaimed
and just one record of the year, really doesn't have that many
hits. And remember when they made Jlo
share the Super Bowl with Shakira?
Because like what? Because like what?
There's so many hits that Jlo has.
So I mean, I I think even one of her hits is bigger than any song
by Kendrick. Well, Oh well, this is me now.
Anything else that Azalea? I mean, honestly, just go to
Azalea's Twitter and like pack a lunch because she, she really
goes all over the fucking place with these topics.
She has a whole topic about this pig.
Do you remember that picture of Beyoncé from the cover of Texas
Holdem? She's wearing a black cowgirl
hat, a bolero type jacket, a metal bikini top, and then just
like a hanging heart over her pussy.
And she said this photo would be fucking iconic if she were just
serving the landing strip for the country single cover.
Like what? The controversy, the iconicness,
the white America in shambles over the black coochie coochie
hair over the black coochie hair.
Like people would have needed CPR.
Shady ass. She says Weezy at the Super Bowl
would have been an All Star event no matter how you feel.
Jay should get fired for being a pointless corny hater.
Kendrick doesn't have the All Star catalog lineup.
Wayne does and made 0% for him being NOLA.
This is the thing I I I like this most.
I dislike the most about Sagittarians.
Oh wow they have such fucking low self esteem and are so
afraid to be forgotten. They'll do anything to leave
their mark on you, even if they mark themselves up in a process.
While she's really goes in on Sagittarius, honey.
But I mean, think little Wayne really could have had quite an
All Star thing. We would have had Nicki Minaj.
We would have had little Wayne. We had, I mean Birdman.
Not that I care about Birdman, but little Wayne has done a lot
of cameos. You really could have almost
anyone in the world now, I thought now Johnny Mcgovern's
version of the Kendrick Lamar halftime show would have had
Beyoncé doing America's Got a Problem, Lady Gaga doing Bitch
Don't Kill My Vibe. And what's the other big star
lady that, oh, Taylor Swift doing Bad Blood, All songs that
Kendrick did verses on. But that wouldn't have been what
it was, which was, you know, it was an artistic piece, honey.
Oh, and we can't forget Serena Williams Crip crip walk at the
Super Bowl. I mean, Drake's ex gal pal
Serena Williams. Iconic.
Just giving you the full on crip walk, honey, right at the day of
Super Bowl, referencing herself doing it at I think not when she
did it at Wimbledon. She did it at the Olympics when
she went, she's a little crip walk.
And honey, the, the best thing is watching people who are
really into the Kendrick thing watch it.
There's this great video of this lady watching the whole
performance and getting her fucking life.
And it really makes you enjoy it even more.
I mean, my gosh, a delight, a true delight.
OK, now, last week, now look, I, I'm not a traitor's watcher.
I, I really don't care. I know I, I tried for a minute
to, to do it because I wanted to see what Bob was up to.
And you know, it's, I'm always looking for a new show.
I like Survivor, I like all those.
But the traitors just has not, hasn't, it has not captured my
attention. But I did realize that Sam
Ascari, Britney's ex-husband, was on the traitors and more
importantly, Britney Spears ex-husband Sam Ascari was at the
Wee Ho Dog Park last week. And I was there too, because I
saw a very handsome, thick thighed looking gentleman
walking around with a big swinging Dick and some
sweatpants and a some kind of Doberman pincher type of dog and
some hot lady. And I was looking at him and he
was looking at me looking at him because he I'm sure I'd look
like a faggot. And he was like, this faggot
probably knows who I am. And I was like, who is is that?
Just is that a porn star? Is that someone that IA go go
boy that I know? And I said no fuck that is Sam
motherfuking Ascari and that dog must be one of the Brittany dogs
that he took in the divorce that he got in the divorce.
I was at the dog park with Brittanys dog and you should
have gone and got my dog back from me.
That was Snaffles and I cannot believe he took Sniffles and he
took me to your stupid faggot dog park.
I don't want my dog turning gay. Brittany, your dog's not going
to turn gay just from being at the We O dog park.
Oh really? I bet he's licking his own
fucking Dick right now. I bet he's licking all the Dicks
of all the other dogs ever since you've been to your faggot park.
Brittany. What?
Why are you so homophobic? I'm sorry, it's just like
nobody's been talking about me for a while now.
I figured the only way to get attention in this new Trump era
is to be having a baby. So how about this?
Fuck you, you fucking faggot. Is that working as anyone paying
attention? No.
What's going on in your Instagram?
I have not. I haven't checked in on you in a
in a minute. What is going on?
Sorry, I just got distracted. I opened up Instagram and I saw
a man whose traps were just so large.
My God. OK, let's see what Britney has
been up to on her, on her feet. I mean, haven't seen anything.
Oh, God. Did she delete her account?
She must have, that's why I hadn't seen anything.
She must have deleted her account because it's not coming
up. Abracadabra una na Yep, she must
have deleted her account. That's right, you stupid fucker.
I deleted my fucking account. I said abracadabra like a Oh no,
no, hey, guess what? Like telephone.
That song was regularly for me. So the Abraham name.
Brittany, that's not true. That is it.
No, nothing's true. I'm just so bored.
I'm at home showing my pussy to the security guards.
They've seen it so many times. They're bored.
I'm bored. Maybe I'll do a residency in
Vegas. Just kidding.
I'm not going to. Wow.
She gets her hopes up. She takes them away.
Wow. I didn't even notice that she's
gone. But she is gone.
Yeah, she's not there. She's not there.
Well, let me tell you, though, Sam Ascari really did look sexy
in real life. Very thick and delightful.
Now, Brittany was hanging with Jaden James.
Jaden James or Sean Preston. I think it was Jaden James over
the holidays because remember, she made her final child support
payment because I think her final, I think Jayden turned 18.
And so Jayden got his ass right over to Calabasas to visit Mommy
because he seems very interested perhaps in having his own pop
career. And if you want a pop career,
you should probably be close to Mommy, especially when mommy's
got all the connections. So I don't think Pobo Zhao is
going to really do much for you. No, I don't think he is.
So probably should stop shitting on mommy.
I mean, I'd love to see a Jaden James pop career.
I mean seems very very interesting.
Now if anyone saw Andrew Garfield at the Golden Globes,
you can see that he is aging like a fine wine.
I've never been a huge Andrew Garfield fan, but 40 is looking
good on him. He was wearing like a olive type
of suit. He has a beard, glasses.
His shirt was all open. And now they're saying that
supposedly Andrew Garfield and Demi Moore, America's ageless
Golden Globe winning beauty who I hope wins the Oscar.
She won't, but I God, I would love it if she did.
It's got to be going to, I feel like it's got to be going to
Cynthia Revo. But you know, I'd love it to see
it though, and she deserves it because I mean, that was just an
incredible performance. But I mean, like, when are we
going to see Demi get a moment like this again?
I think it's I think Cynthia Revo could probably win it, you
know, for Wicked 2 for good, Whereas Demi Moore, is anything
going to ever come together like it does right now with the
substance? Maybe not.
I would love to see her win, but supposedly to me and Andrew are
getting cozy. Honey, he's got a new wig.
He's got a new wig. Maybe they met at the wig
doctor. I mean, honey, check.
His wig is wigging, OK? His wig is wigging.
These motherfuckers and their straight, straight hairlines
that have never existed so straight in the whole life is
you know, it's funny wig what Wendy Williams.
Let's talk. I mean, look again A to beat a
dead horse. But baby, if you really want to
know, I do an emergency pod on the Patreon.
Look at all this all this shit while I was off gay as fuck,
honey, I was still doing it on the Patreon.
We did a deep dive into what the fuck was going on a Wendy.
And honestly, he came out on the day of the inauguration because
like we like to do on the Patreon, we like to take your
mind off the horrors of the world with more horrors.
Because of course the windy situation is a horror, but at
least it wasn't the orange horror, you know what I'm
saying? You know what I'm saying?
The the you know, But as we know, Wendy called into The
Breakfast Club with Charlemagne and her niece, as well as to Don
Lemon as well as to Hollywood Unlocked.
And then recently she did an interview with Harley B Levin
from TMZ. And baby, this was dramatic
because what they did was they pointed a Wendy is Wendy.
If you don't know, first of all, she's just showing my Patreon
and get in. But if you don't know, we'll
give you the quick summary. Wendy, we know they said she
had, you know, frontal lobe dementia and she wasn't getting
any better. But she's calling into all these
shows sounding very together now.
Not perfect, not exactly perfect, but certainly not
enough of a it's not like she felt wet brain like she did in
that documentary. She seemed like she's off the
sauce and certainly while maybe she's not going to be OK to do a
full daytime talk show ever again, certainly the woman
doesn't need to be locked up in this old folks home in New York
City where they have her locked up, where she can't leave.
I mean, that is really, I mean, free Wendy.
That's just too much. She let this woman retire in
peace and control her own fucking money with her family.
But what they did with the interview with Harvey Levin is
they pointed a camera at her window and she would stand at
the window and talk in the phone.
And the clip that I saw, I haven't watched the whole thing
yet, was her like crying at the window as the camera zoomed in.
And honey, now he she has Harvey Levin on her side.
And they're doing the Wendy dock at the TMZ Free Wendy Dock.
And it's all moving in the right direction because we want Wendy
to be free It. It doesn't matter whether or not
Wendy is fully together or not, but she definitely is together
enough to not need to be under someone else's control.
That's just completely insane. Let Wendy do whatever Wendy will
want to do, for God's sake. But seriously, get over.
I mean, we really go in deep on the Patreon.
So go over there and go over there and enjoy that.
Darling, why don't you do it as Wendy would say, OK?
Jlo humiliated again, they say in Star magazine.
But that's really The thing is, Jlo has a new movie, The Kiss of
the Spider Woman, to remember that that was a very famous
Broadway play. And then a movie starring Raul,
Julia and Sonia Braga. It's about a gay guy in prison.
He imagines the kiss of the Spider Woman.
And I guess Jennifer Lopez is playing the Spider Woman well
while she's getting a standing ovation at the Sundance Film
Festival. Because you know what we love to
do? We love to tear our stars down
and then we love to build them back up.
But in the meantime, they're still tearing her down a little
bit because This Is Me Now herself produced Flopper Rooney
was nominated for the Golden Razzie Award for the worst in
2024. But don't forget Sandra Bullock
and also Halle Berry, Scott Razzies.
But Jennifer's ego is crushed and she was just Oh my God, you
know what? She looked great at the Grammys.
She looked she, you know, looking fantastic is the best
revenge. Having the picnic.
Birkin is the best revenge. And Jlo has any Birkin and
anything that she wants. So like, you know.
Cry on a bag of money. Last but not least, you know,
it's the Super Bowl. You know, I do not care about
the Super Bowl, but I do care about one thing at the Super
Bowl, which is I really enjoy the tunnel fashion.
OK? The guys from Oh my God, Vogue
is trying to get me to sign in every time I want to just look
at their stupid article. Stop it now.
We've seen this before. Is that like when the guys
arrive to the game? A growing trend is the is that
the players take the moment to showcase their personal style
and most importantly, to carry a lot of expensive man handbags.
And if you know me, you know I love an expensive man handbag.
Yes, I do. Now of course the top story in
the tunnel was Travis Kelsey and the weirdest Amiri disco ish
suit with a sparkly. It's like a 70 style disco suit
with sparkly shirt as well as a very expensive leather man
duffel. Now many have said that this oh
you carried Gucci loafers and black leather duffel.
This outfit would have been better if he had won but
apparently he lost. I had no idea who lost, but in
reading about this outfit I found out that his team did not
win and they all felt like they must have been embarrassed that
he had this stupid outfit. Another guy, the Eagles running
back. Now he wore a Johnny McGovern
outfit that I could really get into, which was a full dark
denim jacket and Jean, sort of a Canadian tuxedo, but he finished
the look with an oversized denim.
Hermes hack bag. Honey yes, as well as
quarterback Jalen Hurts. He also opted for a giant.
Oh, he got, you know what he got?
He wore the row. What's isn't it?
What's her name bag? The Margot.
He wore a big black leather Margot and a purple suit.
And then honey, Devonta Smith came in looking like he was a
member of the House of Aviant. Sweetie, what?
I mean, Devonta Smith, are we sure we're not part of a voguing
house? He was wearing a flare red suit
with a goyard clutch. We also saw a lot of the new
Louis Vuitton speedies, the soft, you know, $1,000,000
speedies, a lot of man handbags going on, which we love to see.
We love to see it now. The most and greatest story of
the last month, of course, is Oneisha Robinson from or, the
Tales of the American Woman in Pakistan.
OK, she has she took over Pakistan, honey.
Now the again, I did a full emergency deep dive on this on
the Patreon to tell you to give you all the story is deep and
good. And I've found all the sources
to tell us the story from the beginning to the end.
Or we thought it was the end because there's an update in the
story. Now quick quick Cliff notes
version is Anisha Robinson was catfishing an 18 year old
Pakistani man named Ahmed, talking him online using the
Nicki Minaj filter which he fell for because she seems like
perhaps a simple young man. She romanced him and they got
married in an Islamic ceremony online and then she packed her
motherfucking bags from New York and she flew to Pakistan to meet
her husband who then when he saw her or at some point soon
thereafter decided, wait a minute, you are not my Nicki
Minaj bride. I got to fucking go.
And his mother said, get in the car and then they left, leaving
her camping out at their apartment building.
Now soon this caught the attention of the Pakistani
media. And while at first she was just
saying, I just want to talk to my husband and see my husband,
she started to really give him some quips and then the media
started covering her. She was then taken up as a cause
by a Pakistani humanitarian who caused called a huge press
conference with tons and tons of cameras.
And this is where her reign of terror and joy began because she
started she was Boston the humanitarian around.
She was telling them look what I'm going to need, if y'all want
me to talk, you're going to have to give me money 2000 or more
per week and I actually want to take myself to Dubai.
She was acting like she was pregnant from her husband.
She was telling people that they needed to get out of her
business because it was against her religion to tell people her
business. Talking unless y'all giving me
land and 2000 or more every week.
Can you hear me? I'm getting my Pakistani
passport and Pakistani ID. It's right babe, I'm Muslim and
and it's against my religion to tell you all my business.
Have a nice day. Where have you been last three
months and have you? Reached ever?
Excuse me? I just said it's against my
religion to tell you my business, OK?
And the world and Pakistan fell in love with Onisha, OK, She
became the biggest meme social media star over there.
And it went on for weeks with her being trailed like Britney
Spears by the media in Pakistan. Just giving gold quip after gold
quip. Now, we thought the story was
over because she finally had been convinced to take a flight
back to the United States, and we all thought, well, that was
it. But it turns out that the flight
had made a stopover in Dubai where Andaisha got off the plane
and just said, you know what, I said I was going to Dubai and
guess what, I am going to go to Dubai.
And The thing is, she is such a huge star currently that when
she got off the plane in Dubai, everyone was just obsessed with
her and started filming her and started quoting herself to
herself. And she is now just out in the
streets of Dubai performing her greatest quotes from her time in
Pakistan. Where is she sleeping?
What is she doing? The story is still developing.
I mean, it's truly incredible. Now to wrap up the show, I want
to play something that I've been working on.
Now look, this is The funny thing.
I spent months working on my new album year, a year actually.
A full year working on my new album and a full year working on
the release, making the videos, doing all the rest.
And recently today I started playing with the new AI
songwriting app called Refusion, where you can put in a prompt
and in under one minute the the computer will write you a song.
And I've got to tell you, I'm fucking gagged because I put in
a prompt. Write me a song about Oneisha
Robinson who came to Pakistan after catfishing a young man
with a Nicki Minaj filter. And now she wants $2000 or more
and she wants to go to Dubai and she is now the new Queen of
Pakistan and everybody loves her.
And I put that in as a prompt and the motherfucking computers
wrote me such a fucking banger in under a minute that I think
we are all in motherfucking trouble.
And here is that song. Queen can't sell you my
business, but I made my decision now on the by the thing I've
seen, I've seen do now all those guys are myself in a palace.
Where are his eyes with behind all the strife you cannot
wonder. You can't get sleep without
possess. Can't say you're my business.
It's against my religions. Left the face behind.
Now I'm living like a queen. Can't say you want business.
But I'll make my decision. No, I'm going to buy everything
that I've said I've seen. Don't lie.
OK, I mean honey, here's another one that I also with the same
prompt, another song that came up.
Uh huh. Bitch, you thought you knew me,
but you don't know shit about my story.
Oh man, I got something to confess.
The space you fell for, I guess. Finesse Minaj filter got you
obsessed. Now I'm in Pakistan, no stress
2000 weekly. That's my request.
Why you need it? Mind your business.
Got religious reasons? Can't express while I'm lighting
up another cigarette? Yes, it's up in my business,
it's religious. Well, I'm smoking cigarettes.
I'm getting suspicious. Got my eyebrows strong.
Feeling vicious, making money moves.
So malicious. It's up in my business, it's
religious. From Pakistan straight to Dubai.
Now they call me Queen. Ain't that some shit?
Fuck your expectations. Ain't no rules.
You're supposed to build my own tools.
I'm never cut, baby. That's all news.
Got a powder smell? Yeah, that's my move.
Every screenshot, it's calculated.
Every message, it's walking straight.
A call me scammer. I call it faith.
No money. Shit in this estate.
Where's the girl I thought I knew?
Yes. Can you fucking believe that?
Oh baby, we all must, just might, just, we all should just
focus on having fun. Because computers, they're
coming. They're coming for every bad
job, and they're writing songs in one minute.
But the songs were pretty good. Got to admit they were pretty
good. Now look if you want to hear me
go into details on Wendy, on Onijah, on the Grammys, on all
of it. Not to mention what I did over
the holidays which was the 12 days of Sysmas where he gave a
brand new podcast every day of the week.
Honey, you can get in. Just go to patreon.com/guess of
all time membership. Start at 5, go to 10, go to 15
or if you're rich you can pay 50.
But that's just for you. To me do a flex and to support
me. Well sweetie, please check out
the Dad Rave video. It is on YouTube, on the Daddy
Hunt app channel, it is on my Instagram and of course over the
Patreon. The uncensored version is there
for your pleasure as well. Thank you for listening.
I will be back in one month with another episode of Gay as Fuck.
Bye baby. I put my finger in his ass
personally so I know his ass was loose.