It's a Kiki with Johnny McGee. Gonna spill all that tea, All my
LGBTS. You're in love.
Cause Johnny the government is gay.
Yes, fine. Hello everyone and welcome to
Gay Ass Fuck. I am Mr. John T Mcgoverness.
He Who is? Well, baby, it was the fag.
Any Super Bowl this week? Yes, it was.
And what am I talking about? You know what I'm talking about.
It's been everywhere. It's the night that every
homosexual turns into their own Amanda Priestly or Joan Rivers,
or even on on a Wintour type where we all take out our
monocles and peep and criticize the fashion of millionaires.
Yes, the Met Gallo was this past Monday.
If you ever forget, just remember the name of the
documentary about it, the first Monday in May.
Honey, Of course I love the Met Gala.
And what did I do when the Met Gala was going on?
Honey, I sat with a bunch of homosexuals and we live podcast
that did the whole thing. Oh, what a delight.
Nothing. I mean, if you can't go to the
Met Gala and you're most likely never going to go to the Met
Gala, the best thing you can do is just enjoy it with in
surrounded by homosexuals as well as hors d'oeuvres including
Doritos and Caviar with some of your best homies.
That is what I did and it was a delight.
If you want to hear that, of course you can go over to the
patreonpatreon.com/gist of all time for our immediate hot takes
on what was going on on the green carpet Darling who slayed?
Who was the worst? No censoring.
Just what we thought. So go over there and check that
out. But now that the gala is
complete, you know what that means.
The gossip can begin. So we have so much to discuss.
The looks, the shade. The drama.
The Kiki. Let's talk the Met Gala, honey.
And let's get into it, Get into it, into it.
Into it. Get into it.
Into it. Can't make it to the Metcala.
I have so much going on. I know Winter invited me
personally, but I respectfully declined to respond.
See, I'm going to be out in LA and then straight off to the UK.
Don't make it to the Metcala. Well, probably there someday.
Every first Monday in May, all the stars descend on the
Metropolitan Museum of Art. It's fashion's biggest night
Now, what they do every year 'cause, look, the Met Gal has
been going on for what, 30 years?
Started back in the day by Diana Vreeland, a a legendary Vogue
editor who wore Rose, who wore Rouge on her high cheekbones up
into her ears. And it was created to raise
money for the Costume Institute, which is the part of the
Metropolitan Art Museum in New York City that is, that
preserves fashion and costumes and looks from all of the eras.
Now the Met Gala was kind of like a kind of small party.
There were celebrities that went, people dressed up.
But it wasn't really until Ano Wintour's reign of terror that
the Met Gala became the giant fashion explosion of publicity
that it is today. What they do every year is they
usually give you a theme based on the exhibit they're about to
open. There was everyone's favorite
year, which was camp. When I say everyone, I mean me,
because we saw that year Drag Race Girls and RuPaul on the
carpet, as well as Katy Perry is a fucking hamburger and all
sorts of weird shit. Last year was Karl Lagerfeld.
I mean, you know it always. There was the year that was all
about religious iconography, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
This year's exhibit is Sleeping Beauties Reawakening Fashion,
which examines how technology can breathe new life into
garments that are too old and fragile to be worn again.
Because if you look at the exhibit, it looks like a bunch
of, you know, Sleeping Beauty's little glass coffin that she's
in where she'd be sleeping in. The garments are like that.
They cannot be touched. They cannot be breathed on or
they'll disintegrate. Now also they did give a dress
code this year, which was the Garden of Time, which was named
after AJG Ballard story about a count who to stave off an angry
mob nearing his castle, cuts a rose from his garden which slows
down time until there are no flowers remaining.
Which is kind of like what was going on at the pet Gala because
of course there were protesters trying to storm their way in.
But honey, the police stopped at all because no one can stop the
fashion. So with this Garden of Time
dress code, which very few people aren't sure read the
story, as well as the idea of sleeping beauties, we got a lot
of different looks on the red carpet.
We got a lot of garden. We got some recreation of old
classic fashion looks. We had some archival pieces, and
then we just had some basic bishops who showed up in a nice
dress. And I guess that's fine too if
you want to be a BW basic woman. I'd hate to come down to the
level of becoming ABWA Basic Woman, but if they don't stop
it's going to get scandalous. Now they always have celebrities
Co chair this event with Anna Bentol and this year was Bad
Bunny, Jlo Zendaya and Chris Hemsworth.
And can I tell you, I thought the best dressed person at the
Met Gala was Chris Hemsworth's cock.
Baby. Chris Hemsworth was wearing a
thump, a suit. Not on theme at all, but it was
a cream Tom Ford suit with the pants cut.
Just so just so we can see that Dick just sitting there looking
good. You know, Tom Ford loves to cut
a Dick hug and suit. And though I think that was
actually designed by whoever the guy is that's doing the new Tom
Ford now that Tom Ford is retired again to be a movie
director because he didn't even show up wearing himself last
night. He wore E saint-laurent or
saint-laurent, of course. Saint-laurent, of course, but
Chris Hemsworth referring this cream suit with his Dick outline
Looking good. And I'd say he was the best
dressed. And when I say he, I mean he'd
the Dick. So they were the Co chairs.
Now what do the Co chairs have to do?
I think they just have to show up and then they shake hands
with everybody that comes on it. Now supposedly Otto and Toll was
very disappointed with Jlo for not doing enough handshaking, or
so the blind items would have you believe.
Jlo I did think looked stunning though.
Another blind item said that Jlo had so much Botox in her face,
she looked dead in the face and she could not move.
And I gotta tell you, having watched her interview, it did
look like that. Now we know Jlo has had a rough
couple weeks for rough two months.
I mean, ever since the movie This Is Me Now came out, the new
wave of hate for Jlo Online has been growing, and I'm sure that
this fucking hurt Jlo's feelings.
I mean, she really thought spending 20 million on that
movie musical was gonna be something that maybe maybe she
was even gonna get an Oscar or Emmy, but instead, probably not.
You know, look, Amazon bought the project from her, so she
probably made her money back, I guess.
But I think she thought she was going to be adored and loved and
she was not. She was not.
Plus, everybody's been bringing back up the old clips of her
songs. I'm talking about all the people
who are really singing on them mostly And not.
Huh. So Jill has been beaten down a
little bit. But.
And and she looked and seemed beaten down in the interviews.
Well, not looked beaten down, but the face was so dead, so
frozen. And her attitude seemed to be
like, yeah, well, I'm here and, yeah, trying to look good.
Just, I'm trying. I'm trying.
Trying my best.
Ben was not there. He was across the street at
Duncan the whole night outside smoking a cigarette.
Jlo did look beautiful. She was in Schiaparelli, you
know, Remember Schiaparelli did the couture a few years ago that
you might have seen pictures of with like, a lion's head.
It was Kylie Jenner famously in this outfit with a big you know,
it wasn't a real lion, but it looked like a like a
photorealistic lion's head, birds and all sorts of, you
know, if if it looks weird, it's Scott Borrelli, weird and
stunning. But Jlo, you know, she looked
good now, BuzzFeed said. Just another new dress.
I mean, what else do we want Jlo to do?
She's doing her job. It's being pretty.
Do we always love our musical output?
No, we do not. But when it comes to being
pretty, Jlo is always zooing it. Though.
If you listen to the Patreon where we watch the arrivals
live, A friend of mine who loved the Jlo, This is Me now movie
said. After I sort of said something
snarky about it, he said you didn't like it.
I loved it. I mean did you understand it?
I said did I understand she worked at a heart factory?
What's not to understand? But I thought that was 20 shade
and I enjoyed it very much. Zendaya also a Co chair.
She she came out and she did it as usual.
Look if there's any girl who is slanging hard fashion wise
lately it is Zendaya. Remember her stylist Luxury law
quit and said I will no longer be a stylist except for Zendaya.
And so they have been collaborating on stunning looks.
The most notable pre Met Gala of course being when she pulled the
Moogler robot look out of the archives Honey the metal robot
Cyborg look from the Moogler archives and she wore it to the
Dune 2 premiere And baby that was a serve and she served again
at the Met Gala. Now she started in a Galliano
Margella look, inspired by his work from the 1999 Dior
collection. It was blue, it was green, it
was flowery. It was, you know, she looked
stunning. And then she she came back
around. OK, honey, she did.
She was early on the carpet, and then she came back around in
another look, and this time she wore vintage Galliano
forgevanche. Now if you remember back in the
day, Galeana was a poor fashion designer doing very avant-garde
shows with titles such as Highland Rape where the women
ran down the runway clutching their bosom with the sound of
wolves chasing them in torn dresses.
And of course, the fashion world was obsessed with him, and Anna
Wintour made sure he eventually got a job in the high E couture
of Givenchy. He was later transferred to
Christian Dior, did many years of stunning, gorgeous fashion
and Christian Dior till this motherfucker got drunk and nasty
and was caught on camera saying horrible things to a Jewish
woman in the cafe about Hitler. And I wish you were banned.
I mean some nasty shit, which of course led to his fucking firing
from Dior cancellation. He had to go to rehab and he's
been quietly working behind the scenes at Maison Marjela for
many years. Not too red carpet.
It's not talking that too much. He's always someone who talks
like this in a, you know, sort of staying out of the thing but
still working in fashion. Now recently he's had a big
comeback with that big Margella show, which was under the
bridge, if you all remember this.
And that was the thing where TikTok was obsessed with the Pat
McGrath skin that looked like it was made of glass, which it
turns out I think was like a face mask that they had put on
that made the whole face look, you know, shiny.
So he and he also did a documentary.
Well, he went to rehab back in the day, and then he did a
documentary called High and Low about the highs and the lows of
his career. He was met in the Supermodels
documentary, and he once again made an apology tour about how
he was fucked up and how horrible it was that he said
those things. And he's basically been on an
apology tour. Now we know that on a Wintour
has, behind the scenes always been pushing for him.
Now there was also a rumor that this year's Met Gala was maybe
going to be Johnny Galliano themed, but because the shit is
still majorly problematic. I mean, if you bring up the clip
girl, it's really hard to forgive because he seems like
such a nasty cunt, but you know, people are still celebrating
what he does and but they were not about to to have him be the
main attraction, at least over the title at the Met Gala.
Though I was just looking online and there are like 10 articles
that are like John Galliano, the real winner of the Met Gala.
Because not only did Zendaya wear his clothes and Kim K also
wore one of his margella dresses and she snatched her waist down
to 18 inches. Honey, it was you know what say
what you want about Kim K or if you're the audience at the Tom
Brady roast, Boo Kim K But she always works hard to bring you a
look that you will talk about and she, I thought you look
great. She wore this tight, tight,
tight metal dress with the the corseted, super snatched waist
and she herself said in an interview, it's an art form.
Wearing the corset like this. There were reports she was
turning blue, but who knows. And then she wrapped herself
with sort of a it was this beautiful metallic dress
snatched in in the waist and then she wore this kind of
scuzzy cardigan around it. Now of course people online were
commenting. That's what my mom wears when
she goes out to smoke on the balcony.
Or some people were saying it was her boyfriend's sweater.
Who just Odell Beckham Junior I think ex-boyfriend.
But honey, that wasn't a Odell Beckham Junior or her boyfriend
sweater. That was like a raw silk cough
again from Margiela. But it did give a little bit
little match girl the type of vibes and she was looking very
distressed in the photos on purpose and I thought it was to
surf. I mean I thought it was to surf.
I I've actually, though Kim Kardashian amuses me greatly
sometimes and not so much other times.
I thought at the Met Gala she's always served.
My favorite being that when she wore the dress based on Bo Derek
coming out of the water in the the movie in the 70s where she
was dripping, where the the dress looked like it was
dripping wet. Of course that was also the
dress that right before they left for the Met Gala.
Kanye, who was in his church era at this time told her he thought
was too sexy and she was like it's too late, OK, it's too
late. We're leaving now.
You could have you had weeks to say this.
OK And of course you wore the Maryland dress.
I wasn't as impressed with that nor was IRA outraged though
everyone saying should never be touched.
It's a dress, it's a dress. OK, maybe she ripped it a little
bit with her big ass, but whatever was whoever owned the
dress said it was cool. So whatever.
Now, like I was saying, Kim got booed at the Tom Brady roast,
which is on Netflix, but then won the crowd back with some
sharp jokes. The thing I did not watch the
roast of Tom Brady. When I saw it being advertised,
I said why would Tom? I keep saying, Prady, why would
Tom Brady want to like, submit to this?
Why anyone would want to be the subject of a roast is beyond me.
I I it's not for me. But then again I'm very
sensitive. And The thing is most of the
jokes of course, were about Giselle and his marriage and
whatever. I mean, you know, who cares?
I don't care about Tom Brady other than the fact that I used
to think he was stunningly handsome and honey, they got him
OK. He looked like gorgeous
Frankenstein on the stage of the roast.
He he's it looks like they've given him a little Botox and
filler and baby, he looked like a Frankenstein.
A Frankenstein. He he just whatever it was that
he looked like before when I thought he looked good, like
something is off. He's looking off.
Maybe it's that he's so lean that it just his face is looking
skullish. I don't know.
I know this isn't about Met Gala but another tangent about male
facial surgery. Another person who they got him.
I saw some up close shots of Ryan Gosling on the red carpet
for the fall guy and baby they need to lock him up.
Can throw away the key until the filler settles.
Because for someone who was so handsome, he looks crazy.
He looks crazy, he's rounded and it's it's.
I'm speechless with how weird it looks.
It looks weird. Ryan.
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
But Ryan was not on the red carpet at the Met Gala.
Anyway, back to the whole Galliano thing.
You know. Also Bad Bunny was wearing
Galliano for Marcella. I mean, I don't know.
Let me know what you think. What do you do you think
Galliano should be? I mean, he already is making
comeback. What are your thoughts about it?
Who else was looking stunning? Gigi Hadid wore Tom Brown.
Now Tom Brown also had a very big presence this year.
We know Tom Brown is also one of Ano Intola's favorite designers
of note. And of course, he is married to
Andrew Bolton, who is the Faye Homosexual, who's the curator at
the Costume Institute of the Metropolitan Museum of Art in
Manhattan, who if you watched the documentary the First Monday
in May, it's pretty much about him now.
Tom Brown is famous, of course, for what made him his signature
fame was this men's Shorty suit in a very lean look, schoolboy
aesthetic. But he's lately really the brand
has grown and he's showed at the couture in Paris this year,
making some really stunning garments as well as having a
women's line which has been all over the place, as well as when
Karl Lagerfeld died and everyone did the tributes to Karl
Lagerfeld. Chanel looks for Vogue.
The Tom Brown ones were truly divine.
And in my thought, I thought maybe Tom Brown was going to be
the successor for Karl Lagerfeld at Chanel Cador, which he very
well could be anyway, because obviously of these connections
being Bestie Savannah and his husband being the curator.
Many girls were wearing Tom Brown at the Met and they were
looking stunning. Jija Hadid was wearing this
white gown that looks like it was coming out of a jacket,
which made-up the flowing blossoms at the bottom of her
dress. I mean, really looked stunning,
like she was blooming out of the look.
Supposedly, it took 5000 hours to make.
Now, honey, they're always they're all all the stars are
telling you how many hours it took to make, and there was a
blind item that said this. A list star always plays the
game of how many hours her dress took to make, and even though
she often gives an exaggerated number, she wants to be sure
she's 10 times ahead of anyone else.
And supposedly, that was Demi Moore, who did show up looking
good. I mean, of course you know, we
are in a Demi Moore beauty renaissance for the third time.
Congratulations, girl. At 61, she's looking more fresh
and beautiful than ever. Not weed, Not surged, just
fresh. Now the outfit she was wearing
was weird. Now the designer was someone who
is giving a non binary effect, though their pronouns seem to be
he him named Harris Reed who used vintage wallpaper to make a
very architectural look for Demi Moore.
I mean it was definitely, it was like a as if like a bodice came
up to a big heart shape, then it nipped into a tiny waist and
then a big hips and down into, you know, sort of more pencil Y
train with little arrows sticking all the way out around
it. I mean, it was weird, but she
looked stunning and this, this was what she was working up to,
honey. It probably took years of
procedures, surgeries and scientists to get to here, but
she looked stunning and the designer Harris Reed joined her
on the carpet in in another weird outfit.
I mean, they look like they were dressed for The Hunger Games,
and perhaps they were darling. Perhaps they were something I
found extremely touching at the Met Gala was that Queen Latifah
was there. Now normally that wouldn't
really excite me, but what did excite me was Queen Latifah was
there with her wife, publicly with their wife as a couple, and
did the red carpet together. Now Queen Latifah, I do not
believe has ever officially come out which has stuck in my craw
all these years. I really do not appreciate a a
closeted celebrity, especially a glass closeted celebrity where
everybody knows but you just never say anything.
And I understand some people feel that's different, that
people should be able to have their private lives and not have
the comments on their sexuality. But I disagree.
I said it about Billie Eilish and I said it about other people
that I think if you are queer you have a duty to at least say
say so so that you can be a beacon for those who are coming
after you as well as honor those who came before you who maybe
had it rougher. And so Queen Latifah has always
been very silent to though she has been living with her partner
and appearing, you know, not hiding it for many years, but we
have never seen them like this on the red carpet together.
In the interview with one of the girls on the Vogue red carpet,
they asked was this date night for you too?
And her wife Ebony said, well, I wanted to come to the Met Gala
and I said why don't you get us an invitation baby?
And Queen Latifah said, And so I did, so this is our date night.
And then they talked about their son and which I believe is maybe
Ebony son. Maybe I'm wrong about that.
Either way, I it was very heartwarming.
And it wasn't like Queen Latifah walked the red carpet and then
she was like standing in the back.
They were next to each other. They were together the whole
time. She was Dre.
They were both dressed in Tom Brown.
They both look gorgeous. They were in love.
They were out. And I will take it, OK?
I will take it. If your actions speak louder
than your words, then do that. Do that.
That's good. I will accept that as a coming
out. Acknowledging your same sex
partner is the same as saying I'm gay.
So I mean honestly, maybe a little emotional because that is
sweet. That is how it should be.
And you know what? Ebony has been in the closet for
long enough. Give Ebony your due.
Please give Ebony your due. Well, she's gotten her do and
she got a lovely night at the Met Gala and she looked
stunning. And Tom Brown.
So fucking congratulations to her and to Queen Latifah.
Now also there was another couple, queer couple on the red
carpet, Sam Smith, who did not show up in panties and a bra
with some high heel boots. No he did not.
Sam Smith, who has been giving you body positivity to the
extreme on tour with corsets and panties and all the rest living
his best non binary fantasies showed up in a proper suit with
his new love designer Christian Cohen.
They wore both were 40s style. Now Christian Cohen is the
designer and designed their looks and now Sam Smith did have
something which is truly one of my pet peeves which is a
mustache with a twirled up end. I hate those but they wore 40
style suits with double breasted and he Sam Smith was in all
black. Christian Cohen was in all white
and then they both had metal dipped English roses fastening
the outfits. And supposedly this was a nod to
a point early in their relationship where Christian
gave Sam a English rose dipped in metal as a wooing gift.
And I think that's sweet. And you know what?
I'm happy to see Sam Smith getting some love.
I mean, as someone who's been up and down in wait and deals with
as we all as homos, body dysmorphia and low self esteem
at different times when it comes to how you look.
I'm happy to see Tom Sam Smith getting some public love.
Having a boyfriend, feeling good because you know, he seems like
the type that you know, got then dated someone hot.
That person, you know, ripped their hearts over the cold.
They broke up. He gained 20 lbs, he gained 40
lbs. He gained 50 lbs.
He put on a moo moo then he you know.
Now he's living his best non binary life and has a lovely
boyfriend who seems like they are a lovely couple.
So congratulations to him now. Two of the hottest gays on the
red carpet were of course little Nazex and Troye Sivan.
Now little Nazex wore like an all cream multi layer suit.
He wore an oversized off white suit by Lua with shiny silver
paneling and the jacket was oversized and trailed behind
him. And of course he wore long nails
as well. And Dave David Yerman jewels
with an 18 karat white gold bracelet and earrings, multiple
rings. I mean, I thought it was great.
I thought he looked fabulous. His hair is short and blonde.
He was of course very ginzy about the whole thing and made
tik toks while he was on the green carpet.
So go you go girl. I love little Nazix and his
style. And another one of my personal
faves, Troye Sivan walked the red carpet at the same time as
little Nazix for the extra faggoty moments.
Now he looked OK. I mean, did his body look tight
and snatched? Yes, He wore Prada, and he wore
kind of like a tight blue shirt with what looked like almost a
billet bulletproof vest. Troy wore an archive Prada look
that that falls into the reawakening fashion part of the
dress code and his stylist said. We interpreted it as an
opportunity to look back at the Prada archives and find our
favorite Prada moment and bring it back to life.
And what he wore was this menswear obviously look from the
2008 show which is a little bit subversive and has a wink to it,
which which looks a little bit innocent in the front with a
pair of charcoal slacks, very tight fitting a powder blue
button down, except that the shirt opens in a back.
The shirt opens in the back with the traditional placket and it's
held together by two Garter straps.
And we also did. It did seem like we saw a little
bit of a top of butt, so it kind of looked like a bib or like a
bulletproof vest on top of this typical sort of corporate
pinstripe light blue suit. But you know, I think he looks
sharp and I always think he's pretty chic.
I mean if you're a super a 28 year old super twink you must
wear, you might as well wear that tight blue Prada showing a
little sliver of skin in the back and show your dominance as
the King Forever twink. Now here's the blind item that I
thought was quite interesting. This a list singer and this a
list actor. Offspring could not keep their
hands off each other. The two guys were definitely
going to be in hook up mode after the party.
Now I thought initially because another person who was on the
red carpet with his sister was Jaden Smith, who actually look
great, an oversized white suit with all sorts of straps all
over it. And he was with Willow who was
wearing a basically a blazer with the legs out and they
looked chic. Like you can hate Will Smith,
you can hate Jada, and you can hate depo babies.
But you got to admit that Jaden and Willow are pretty chic and
Willow will always have my heart for whip your hair back and
forth. Back and forth I win my hair.
Back and forth I win more. Anyway, I thought when it said a
list singer and a list actor offspring, I thought they meant
Jaden Smith. And after we saw Jaden kind of
humping on Justin Bieber and giving a long soft kiss on the
cheek at Coachella was possible. But the blind item revealed
supposedly said the person that Troy was making out with and in
hookup mode with was Dan Levy. Mm hmm, from Old Shit's Creek.
Now he was wearing with something I said first.
I said is that dumb? But it actually wasn't.
He was wearing a suit this low. It's a louve suit with a floral
pattern that fades away Into Darkness.
And so that the sleeves, the bottom of the jacket, and the
pants have all these florals. And of course, it kind of gives
the idea of, you know, the ephemerality of flowers and the
circulation of life and blah blah, blah, blah.
So I actually thought it was a great look.
On second look, it was pretty great.
My former Co * Coleman Domingo was there and he once again
looked great. Gotta admit, now I thought he
was the best dressed man at the Oscars.
And that Louis Vuitton Navy Sort of nautical themed suit with all
the jewelry. And once again he looked great
at this. He paid tribute to Chadsworth,
Chadwick Boseman, and of course Andre Leontali.
Beauty. Where is the beauty?
Because he wore a white tuxedo jacket with a big black
boutonniere and a white Cape, as well as blousy, sort of almost
like, almost looked like a skirt.
And he said that he was. He said that both Chadwick and
Andre used to wear capes to the Met Gala, and he was paying
tribute to them and to the culture.
So once again, bravo Coleman. Don't worry, I did die inside a
little bit. Oh, OK.
I can't believe I haven't already talked about my favorite
look of the night, which was Doja Cat.
Doja Cat.
Subversa Van Kunti. It's Doja Cat.
So look, let's go all Let's rewind back to a couple days
before the map. Doja Cat lands in New York City
and is immediately photographed with Grom Vasalia, who is the
brother of Demna Vasalia who designs Balenciaga.
Now they are very famously in a feud, A1 sided feud, but one
where Gouram is always saying nasty things about Balenciaga
and about his brother and that his collection that ventima that
mall, which is where Demna originally started from which he
now has taken over. The class collection at Vet Mall
seemed to be like all the same ideas of classic Balenciaga
outfits, but then blown up even bigger and bigger and bigger.
If Balenciaga had an oversized suit, Vet Mall had a suit to the
floor. Or if you know Balenciaga had an
oversized T-shirt that mall had AT shirt that was a dress, you
know what I'm saying. Check it out online to see the
wildness that is the latest vet mall collection.
Though I would wear some of it and who else thought they would
wear some of it? Dosha Cat.
So Dosha cat is photographed in New York for the first time.
Pre Met Gala with Goram and he's wearing the classic vet mall
oversized jacket, oversized pants And she and the first time
we see her is just wearing Saran wrap.
OK Saran wrap shirt, Saran wrap top.
Then they're seen pictured at Tiffany and Co shopping for
diamonds where she is. She is just wearing a bed sheet,
which at one point does fall open.
So literally is just a bed sheet.
And they seem to be giving a a storyline here because they're
also seen like hugging and kissing in the diamond thing.
But honey, we know Goram is gay. Then when it came time to get
ready for the Met Gala, you know, everybody stays at some
hotel that's real nearby. A lot of times people come out
with their outfit hidden because they want to gag you on the
carpet and not have it ruined and be on Instagram before they
even get to the red carpet. So people wear tents, they hide
it, they would do whatever. For this one, Doshi Cat decided
to just wear a towel and then a towel on her head as a head wrap
and pop into her car that way because what she was going to be
wearing on the red carpet was a giant oversized vet mall cotton
T-shirts that was looked all wet so you could see her body in it.
And honey, she was holding her boobs, slapping her butt.
She looked hot now, she said. It was a nod to the cotton
flower, the flower that is in use all the fashion, which tied
in with the garden theme that everybody was going with.
And then the shirt was wet with a mixture of water and hair gel
so it would stay looking wet. And then she had Chrome looking
sparkle, tears coming down her face.
And I got to tell you, I thought it was a serve, a subversive
serve. And when asked about what her
look was giving, she said, well, it's kind of giving fuck you.
And it was, and we loved it. I really appreciate this.
Then at the after show, at the after party, we're in the party
because honey, she's not going to wear a wet T-shirt the whole
night. Because once you get into the
party, supposedly no cameras allowed, no pictures allowed, no
selfies allowed. Now we know everybody breaks the
rule and takes selfies in the bathroom, famously where they
also go to smoke cigarettes. But there was a picture of her
on the inside and she was wearing a see through top and
just a pair of pantyhose with a thong.
Now this whole series of Dozier cat outfits this week made me
think, is Bianca of Kanye and Bianca wearing all that mom
because she's wearing all these weird outfits, the Saran wrap,
the see through thing with the thong and the pantyhose.
And Kanye is wearing what I thought was Balenciaga but I
think is oversized vet Ma which is basically just very similar
to Balenciaga and is that what is making sense here about why
Bianca's dressed in so weird? Are they both just wearing full
that maul? Something to think about.
At the party there's usually a surprise performance and this
year the surprise performance was Ariana Grande.
Now I've got to tell you, I love Ariana Grande.
I just recently re listened to her new album.
Ariana Grande has a great voice, great hooks, great song.
I love the yes and remix with Mariah.
I love we can't be friends. I I I love Ariana Grande and I
think she's she's we know she's a down ass bitch who loves to
have fun because look who she dates.
And of course she's there on the never ending press tour for
Wicked with Cynthia Areevo. And Cynthia Areeva was serving
at Cunt. She was serving at ambiance.
She was serving ballroom. She was wearing a Tom Brown
tuxedo but covered in petals with a Cape and it was also
cropped and every time they saw each other they said they were
like the girls some sex in the city.
They were pretending to see each other for the first time, though
they probably been together all day.
Ariana wore a lueve outfit that was the bodice was all mother of
Pearl, and she performed. And of course they do it in the
Egyptian room or whatever the fuck that is, the Temple of
something or another. And which I'm sure the ancient
Egyptians were like one day Ariana Grande we'll sing We
Can't Be Friends. But she of course was in
fabulous voice and Cynthia Rivo did come on and sang with her.
And very true to the theme of the room, the Egyptian room, the
Mariah Carey Whitney Duet When you believe and honey could you
believe it was fucking good. Think you can see clips of it
online? I.
Mean fabulous. And they brought Ariana on,
giving full Sleeping Beauty on a pillow in a large dress,
preceded by an actor throwing rose petals.
And she did all her heads and with dancers and all.
And you know what? Love it.
Also honorable mention for Fashion Tyler who sings that
song Water, Water and Baby.
Her dress was balma and it was made of sand and her arms had
sand on them. It was actually sand mixed with
little jewels. And of course Olivier from
Baumont, who is a fucking genius, designed this as and he
dressed a bunch of other girls who looked really good this
year. And when it was time for her to
go into the party, Olivier got out a pair of scissors and cut
this long dress because famously on the red carpet it was so
stiff, this dress that Tyler could not walk up the stairs and
had to literally be picked up and put down onto the stairs.
But he cut it into a mini dress right on the spot.
So and his he was doing a lot of Sands of time theme Olivier who
currently has kind of a braids look giving a little bit of a
90s Milli Vanilli type of vibe. He really makes gorgeous
clothing and he had his own face looking like it was made of sand
coming out of his shirt. Chic fabulous.
If you're rich enough to wear Balm Mall, I suggest that you
do. And last but not least, Nicki
Minaj and Cardi were both at the Met Gala, and yet there has not
been one blind item about them throwing shoes or fighting.
So that is a victory. Nicki Minaj wore Marnie.
Now, Marnie, if you know, Marnie is the type of label that's made
for handcrafted sort of flowers and artsy things.
I mean, Erykah Badu did a collection with them and that
gives you any note. Oh, Erykah Badu was there
wearing Comte Carson, looking weird as we want her to.
But back to Cardi and Nikki. It was with flowers.
Handmade sort of artsy flowers. It was not one of my favorites.
But you know, she looked cute and was flowers.
And of course Cardi to me stole the show.
Cardi was last on the carpet because she's brought it really
hard to every Met Gala. Remember when she pulled out the
Mooglaire? She wore a dress by the same
Asian Chinese. The the same she wore a dress by
the same Chinese designer that designed Rihanna's dress.
Remember the one that everyone thought looked like an omelette
but was really stunning cunt and took 50 million hours to make?
Well, Cardi wore one of these dresses and was a huge billowing
column that came out into like, you know, a huge, huge, huge,
huge mounts of fabric at the bottom of ruffles and
gorgeousness. And she wore a big head wrap
type of turban with that and honey, she looked gorgeous.
She looked stunning, She. And there, my favorite thing was
on the Vogue live stream was catching her like chalk talking
to her cell phone that was plugged into a charger.
I mean, just she's relatable. She's a relatable woman.
Now, there was one person who came in very late to the red
carpet, and that was May. Brittany, You were not there.
I was what? What were you wearing?
I was invisible. Why would you wear invisible
sleeping TV? I was asleep in my bed in
Calabasas. If I'd gone there, you know what
I would have done? What?
I would have gone to that red carpet, waited till the
photographers had their cameras out, and then I would have given
them what a pussy shout Brandy plays.
We got to wrap up the show. See you later, fucker.
I'll be a cheesecake bakery. Well, I hope you've enjoyed the
show today. Check out Vogue's live stream
for all the deets and you know all the gossip.
You can check if you want to look at it.
I say check out Vogue's coverage because they really give you
everyone's picture and most importantly, they write what
everyone was wearing. If you look at E or L or some of
these other fucking magazines, they don't say who made the
dress. And we don't want to just know
that Uma Thurman wore a light blue floral dress.
Honey, we want to know who made it and why and how much it was.
You know, it costs 50 to 75,000 per person at this event.
And honey, none of the celebrities buy the tickets, OK?
They get paid to go where they get.
The tickets are bought for them by the designers who make their
outfits. All right, Well, if anyone has a
spare 75,000, maybe I'll go next year, too.
Fabulous. And Coleman, Kate, can you guys.
Hello. Hey, I'm.
I'm here at the Met Gala. Are you guys inside?
Can you get me in? All right, everybody.
I was not at the Met Gala, but I am here providing entertainment
for you, as I have for the past 20 years.
So why don't you leave you a nice review on iTunes, huh?
Write something nice, right I love this show.
This is fabulous. Highly recommend and then
recommend the show to your friend.
Or if you want more of me, show your love by joining my Patreon.
And I don't just expect you to get the love for nothing, honey.
You get up to three podcasts a week, so join me there and I'll
see you next week on another episode of Gay Ass Fucks.
We're going to close this episode with a song I played a
snippet of at the beginning by JHVH called Cunt.
Make it to the Met Gala Honey, this is a bitch track that I can
really get into and it is out now on all platforms.
So support this faggoty artist because I love this song.
Hit it. JHVH.
A fabulous soiree. I know you're all waiting for
your show up and serve. Can't make it to the Met Gala.
I have so much going on. I know Winter invited me
personally, but I respectfully declined to respond.
See, I'm going to be out in LA and then straight off to the UK.
Can't make it to the Met Gala, but I'll probably go someday.
Gucci wanted to trust me. I told her money I was busy but
said I looked so iconic. The Batista Valley, Kendall, I
said. Hey girl, give Timothy my
regards. I just wasn't really feeling the
theme this year. Unlike years past, I simply
couldn't do it. There was no logical way to
bridge it with my travel plans. I'll be touring in Marseilles
not to have me. There's no question I would
play, but I have too many scheduling conflicts and I just
can't squeeze it in that day. I can't make it to the Met Gala.
I have so much going on and a winter invited me personally but
I client's response. See I'm going to be up in LA and
the straight path to the UK can't make it to the Met Gala.
But I'll probably go someday. I heard I would be at a table
with Jared Leto and Ice Spice and I feel really bad that they
won't get the chance to meet me the time of their lives.
I was asked to perform a song or two at dinner give a bit of a
show and I told that as people I couldn't believe that they had
offered a rate so low and that's just Conde.
Nazi media is dying but still you could at least honor my
rider. Watch me eat and foot the bill.
And I truly wanted to go. I did just to Beyoncé and all my
other friends. But there's always next year and
the year after that, and I'm sure I'll be on the list.
I just can't make it to the Met Gala.
I have so much going on. I know Winter invited me
personally, but I respectfully declined to respond that I'm
gonna be out in LA. I'm just straight back to the
uki. Can't make it to the Met Gala,
But I'll probably go someday. Can't make it to the Met Gala.
Can't make it to the Met Gala
the.