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Everyone, this is different 
spectrums podcast. 

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I'm I'm your host doctor Nazir 
Zurka go by Doctor Nas, licensed

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clinical therapist, social 
worker, group therapist, public 

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speaker and all that other crazy
shit. 

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I am humbly and excited to bring
you on to the podcast to listen 

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to us. 
If you got tons of pods, you can

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go back and look at our catalog.
With tons of beautiful guests, 

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awesome guests, intelligence 
guests, magnificent people. 

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Go check those out. 
But moving forward, I will be 

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your host and only host and 
really excited to bring you a 

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new era of more personable, more
self help, more things to 

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educate and bring to life the. 
Characters, movies and shows in 

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which we were originally 
supposed to do. 

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So much appreciation for you 
guys following, listening, 

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paying attention. 
Please like share so we can 

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spread the word so folks like me
that are very authentic can get 

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more clicks, likes and just more
people to listen in here. 

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I also want to bring attention 
to the intro, all the resources 

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that we have in the link tree. 
Please go check those out. 

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Remember tons of free worksheets
for you friends or the 

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therapist. 
There's assessments for ADHD, 

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autism, anxiety, there's couples
related stuff, there's coloring 

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related stuff. 
It's all free. 

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And plus I have a massive list 
of athletes for those of you 

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that love sports, folks that 
have mental health related 

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issues that have been collecting
that. 

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It's over 60 pages long and I've
been doing it for about 6 or 7 

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years now. 
So much appreciation, much love,

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and thank you for rocking with 
me. 

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Enjoy the show, enjoy our guest,
or just enjoy me running my 

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mouth about whatever we're 
talking about today. 

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Much love y'all, and remember to
take care of yourselves and if 

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you don't, we'll get you there. 
We'll get you there homie. 

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Peace. 
Officer Hobbs, despite my best 

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efforts to avoid it, I like you.
But this need to overdo it made 

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both of you a headline today, 
and it reflects badly on me, on 

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the department, and frankly, on 
anybody hoping to follow in your

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footsteps. 
Not every case is going to save 

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the world. 
Knock, knock, hi. 

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You know, it's kind of this 
sounds a lot like a just a a you

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guys conversation. 
So what I'm going to do is I'm 

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going to go. 
Ahead, is there a reason why you

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don't take anything seriously? 
Jokes are a classic defense 

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mechanism for someone with a 
traumatic childhood. 

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Would you like a traumatic 
adulthood? 

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I would not. 
I allowed you to work together 

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because you did this city a 
great service. 

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But today you messed it all up 
and now some are questioning 

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whether you should have been 
partners in the 1st place. 

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So instead of chasing imaginary 
reptiles, I am pulling you from 

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the field and giving you a new 
assignment reserved for special 

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teams like yourselves. 
Fail at this and I will have no 

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choice but to split you up. 
There will be no more hops and 

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wild. 
But if you're as good as you 

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think you are, this is your 
moment to shine. 

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Welcome to Partners in Crisis, a
workshop for duos heading for a 

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disaster. 
I am your therapy animal, Doctor

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Fosby. 
And you are here because 

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mismatched pairings often need a
little more work to make them 

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work. 
Greg, we talked about that. 

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What, are we making Merlin 
uncomfortable? 

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Yes, and Francine Clark may be a
mouse, but he is your partner 

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1st and we have two new A 
partners. 

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Can you tell us about your 
journey to Dysfunction Junction?

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Well, we've been official 
partners for one week, begin up 

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for 3:00 and we are not 
dysfunctional at all, actually 

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functioning fine, better than 
fine. 

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And we did sort of same with the
city. 

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So I spin here. 
Kind of seems like a huge 

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misunderstanding. 
Notice how she answered first, 

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did not allow her partner to 
speak, seems to be in a state of

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denial and taps her foot when 
she's suppressing discomfort. 

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And observe the source of her 
discomfort, represented by the 

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disconnected affectation of her 
emotionally insecure partner. 

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But with hard work, they'll be 
on the same page by year 2. 

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But for now, let's begin by 
greeting our teammate who'd like

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to go first. 
Thank you, Joel. 

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OK. 
Unfortunately, Karen has chosen 

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to see Joel smile as a sign of 
aggression. 

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Tackles down Karen. 
Karen tackles down Joel. 

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The safe word is coconut. 
It's strange, he told me that 

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you. 
That you? 

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Oh. 
Help your friend. 

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OK, I I don't, I don't care that
we're different. 

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You know, I what I care about is
you. 

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I care about you, OK. 
And I didn't say it. 

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I should have said it, but I 
didn't because, well, because I 

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am an emotionally insecure 
source of your discomfort who is

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not good at expressing his 
feelings. 

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Probably because I've been on my
own my whole life. 

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It's not an excuse, it's just, 
it's why instead of telling you 

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that you're the best thing that 
ever happened to me, I I make 

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jokes about your ears and and I 
tell you that you try too hard 

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when you know the truth is I 
just don't want you to get hurt 

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because because no one else in 
the world matters more to me 

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than you do. 
I I do try too hard because deep

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down I'm afraid that I am what 
everyone thinks I am and I 

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suppress my discomfort because 
I'm worried it makes me look 

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weak and I want to be strong and
I think I'm failing all the 

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time. 
And I only take what you say 

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personally because you're the 
only one in my life whoever 

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believed in me even when I don't
even believe in myself. 

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And I should have told you that 
no one else in the world matters

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to me more than you do either. 
I have unresolved childhood 

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trauma that I refuse to discuss 
because being vulnerable scares 

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me. 
I make dangerous choices because

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I have an unhealthy but a hero. 
Complex and I didn't join the 

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ZPD because I wanted to be a 
cop. 

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I joined because I always wanted
to be part of a pack and the 

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thought of losing you scares me 
because because you're my pack. 

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I should never have left you, 
and I do need a herd of therapy 

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animals. 
And I should have told you that 

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you are the only partner I would
ever want because you're my 

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Fluffle. 
That's a bunch of rabbits. 

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Now that is. 
What we call. 

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An overshare. 
I'm alive, by the way. 

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I made it. 
Oh. 

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Also, that guy's still alive. 
Hello. 

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Hello. 
We're back. 

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We're doing it, is the thing. 
First episode, Zootopia 2. 

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We're doing Zootopia 2, y'all. 
We're talking about fucking 

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animals. 
Well, wait a minute, we're not 

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talking about that. 
We're talking about animals. 

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I can't never say shit, right, 
man, I hate my life. 

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But yeah, we're talking about 
animals. 

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But we're talking about mental 
health. 

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We're talking about trauma, 
we're talking about anxiety. 

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We're talking about this thing 
called PTSD, whatever the hell 

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that is. 
And we're talking about the way 

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it affects us, the way it 
maneuvers through us, the way it

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manifests through our bodies, as
you just seen in the clips. 

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Because I'm always a little bit 
different format now that we're 

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doing with everything in the 
podcast, going to do the intro 

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Bing bang boom, you're going to 
watch the clip and then we're 

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going to go right into this 
thing that I'm doing right now. 

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As you saw in the clips, there's
a bunch of different things. 

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It's it's three scenes in total.
And I think there's a lot to 

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learn about those scenes. 
And so for those of you that. 

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Are wanting to know kind of what
we're going to do. 

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Like I said, PTSD, how it 
affects us. 

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We're also going to talk about 
some neurodivergences, and I 

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think both the characters are 
divergent in their own way. 

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Encoded like many of my clients 
and so we're going to go through

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that and like show on how that 
represents a lot of folks that 

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are autistic, ADHD, anxious, 
OCD, paranoid, perfectionistic, 

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super depressed, super avoidant,
hypermasculine, more feminine. 

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Roles girl jobs. 
It's one of my clients sources. 

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Nah, I'm tired of doing a damn 
girl jobs. 

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Jesus Christ, girl, she's going 
to kill her partner. 

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She's not going to do that. 
She's not doing that. 

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And so I think this we're going 
to get into today, so. 

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And saying that. 
Let's jump right into some 

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bitch. 
We got the first scene, which we

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look at, right? 
And so we're looking at both the

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characters, at the Bunny and the
fox. 

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God damn it, I should know their
names. 

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Those of you who know the names,
write the comments down. 

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I did not pay attention to the 
goddamn names. 

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I should have gone Bunny and 
fox. 

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Obviously, this is the second 
iteration of the movie is a 

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whole thing where he's a fox. 
He's a piece of shit. 

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Supposedly, and it's being very 
racial on what's going on with 

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him and other things in the 
world. 

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And they are trying to save the 
town, right? 

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And no one thinks believes in 
him. 

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He's just not that good of a 
person, blah, blah, blah. 

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There's a bunch of other racial 
stuff that's in that movie as 

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well too. 
Now this one jumps forward and 

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without giving away too much, 
the same different type of 

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thing. 
It's racial stereotyping or I 

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would say economic classes and a
lot about kind of capitalism and

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the grossness of it and the 
colonization of certain. 

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Places yes, just use the word 
colonization. 

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Just lost all the unwoke white 
people on that comment. 

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Should say the word feminism 
next. 

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You know, lose the the rest of 
them. 

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So no more dudes watching after 
this point. 

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I would assume it'd be all right
losers. 

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So yeah, I can. 
I can be a dude and also hate 

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us. 
I'm self hating dude. 

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Sounded like something else. 
I definitely dislike them too 

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for different reasons. 
So we are going to talk about 

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like this movie and how this 
colonization, this stealing 

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people's ideas stole a woman's 
idea and took her for their own.

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Just saying. 
Sounds like a thing that we do a

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lot in the world. 
So a lot of girlies will second 

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that. 
And it files. 

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The story between them two 
trying to save the town once 

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again, but multiple towns and 
figure out who the fuck is like 

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the creator of like all this 
stuff and how people besmirch a 

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lot of people and rewrite 
history, rewrite history, 

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rewrite history, and it's a lot 
of truth in a lot of this stuff.

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I don't think people really are 
probably looking that deep in 

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this stuff. 
But if you think about it, this 

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is the way of the world, the 
winners or the survivors, I 

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would say the homicidal, 
genocidal maniacs end up getting

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to rewrite all the storybooks, 
all the storybooks. 

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And so in there you will see 
that certain people take credit 

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for changing the world or making
certain worlds, towns, whatever.

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And so we're not really getting 
into. 

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That we could. 
I'm going to say that there are 

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different podcasts for someone 
who's much smarter than me to 

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break all that shit down. 
What we're going to do is what I

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know my role, drama therapy. 
As someone who's deeply 

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dramatized. 
If you didn't watch the last 

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couple fucking pods, I'm working
through some shit. 

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We get into this first scene. 
Where they are now getting the 

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repercussions for everything 
that they've done and like this 

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new thing that's going on. 
So already kind of like on. 

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Probation, the Bunny and the fox
and oh shit is one of the name 

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Hobbes. 
I need to look this shit up, 

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man. 
And so now they're now they're 

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in trouble because they just 
like, caused a bunch of like, 

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harm and like buildings, cop 
cars, all this shit's destroyed.

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And I wanted to bring attention 
to her. 

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In that very. 
First scene you can see her 

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talking to the boss and I think 
it I'm pretty sure it's all just

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Jill, but I'll check on that 
later. 

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But you see the physical pain in
which she's in because she is in

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trouble. 
And she is very. 

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Perfectionistic. 
She's very organized, very 

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strategic, very motivated, and 
very much wanting to prove 

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everyone that to her, everyone 
that she is good, that she is 

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worthy of love, attention, 
admiration, that she's highly 

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intelligent, highly capable. 
And so it pushes her and it 

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00:12:58,080 --> 00:12:59,880
pushes her, and you see this 
throughout the movie and it 

227
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:08,080
pushes her, which is fantastic. 
But when she messes up or when 

228
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:11,800
she now gets in trouble because 
she's pushing too hard and like 

229
00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:15,280
things go bad, you can see that 
shame coursing through her. 

230
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,960
I think that a lot of my 
girlies, my dudes as well too, 

231
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:20,760
but a lot of my girlies will go 
through that. 

232
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:28,160
When you see like this shock and
the horrific feeling of the 

233
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:32,040
nervous system shut down and 
then her wanting to like beg her

234
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:33,800
way out of it, but then you 
can't. 

235
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,280
You've already messed up. 
It's too late. 

236
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:41,520
The repercussions are happening.
I'm getting more on that in a 

237
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:43,440
second. 
And then you see the fox. 

238
00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:46,480
You see homeboy like, it's fine,
it's chill, it's OK. 

239
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:49,560
He's used to being in trouble. 
He's used to being a fuck up. 

240
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:51,120
He's used to people throwing him
away. 

241
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,240
So he's just kind of vibing with
shit, man. 

242
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:55,160
It is what it is. 
He's just happy to be there. 

243
00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:57,680
He's just there for the vibes. 
Those of you that are Marvel 

244
00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:59,560
Rivals fans, I'm just there for 
the vibes. 

245
00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:01,080
Plain Black Widow there for the 
vibes. 

246
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,440
And so you see the difference in
the 2. 

247
00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:08,520
You see Maybe. 
Her trauma or motivators, things

248
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:12,360
in life, the neurodivergences, 
the insecurities, maybe the 

249
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:15,480
training, maybe the girl jobs, 
maybe the social, political 

250
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:19,240
things which are coursing 
through her to be the best, to 

251
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:23,040
be compressed and pressurized to
perform. 

252
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:26,800
And then you see the dude, the 
neuro divergent dude who maybe 

253
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,120
has some issues, ADHD as well 
too. 

254
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:33,480
Not saying she doesn't. 
Some trauma in there so maybe 

255
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:37,800
feeling worthless or useless, 
maybe some behavior related 

256
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,880
issues, maybe some like some 
trauma, some poverty, some stuff

257
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,440
that makes you look different, a
little little more fun. 

258
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:48,640
Not saying she doesn't, there's 
a lot of girlies that have his 

259
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:51,440
presentation as well too and he 
just doesn't care. 

260
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,520
It's kind of like this. 
Passive like Suicide Alley that 

261
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,320
courses to you doesn't fucking 
matter. 

262
00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:59,120
It is what it is. 
It's always shit. 

263
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:00,320
I'm just rolling with the 
punches. 

264
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:01,560
I'm just I'm. 
I'm just here. 

265
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:05,240
So you see the two, right? 
She's very little bit more Type 

266
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:07,560
A high strung perfectionistic 
super. 

267
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,240
Bubbly wants, you know, has 
hope. 

268
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,280
Those who like with the 
Wednesday show, it's like the 

269
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:15,760
one character and then you got 
Wednesday. 

270
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:17,160
He would be more of the 
Wednesday vibes. 

271
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:22,080
He's just a little bit more 
fevery, a little bit more con 

272
00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:25,480
artisty, a little bit more 
street is what it is. 

273
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:27,800
Not saying that a lot of folks 
are St. that act that way, just 

274
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:30,000
saying. 
So you get the two 

275
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,400
juxtapositions right and then 
you get the yin and Yang of 

276
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:33,800
those two throughout the entire 
thing. 

277
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,840
Fast forward. 
I don't know if they're fucking 

278
00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:37,960
Dayton. 
I don't I don't. 

279
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,760
I thought they were just really 
good friends, like brother 

280
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,760
sister vibes, but like now it 
sounds like they love each 

281
00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:43,360
other. 
Yes, they can love each other 

282
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:47,080
platonically, but it also has 
like a romantic vibe, but I 

283
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,920
can't tell if it's a platonic 
vibe, romantic vibe. 

284
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:52,200
Will they, won't they? 
I kind of liked it where they 

285
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:54,480
were just like kind of sibling 
love, man. 

286
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:56,320
I don't think we need to make 
everything super sexual. 

287
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:58,720
I don't know if it was. 
I know there's a lot of stories 

288
00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:03,960
out there about the bad guys in 
this movie and like the fucking 

289
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:07,240
woman in there, the mayor being 
also like they're like offspring

290
00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:09,120
and child. 
Even though this is a Disney and

291
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:10,520
that shit's like a different 
shit. 

292
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,600
Like it's different. 
Like animated companies. 

293
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,240
I have no idea. 
I guess there's a lot of crazy 

294
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,960
stuff in the Internet. 
I'm not getting into that. 

295
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:18,560
Too much autism in that shit. 
That's a joke. 

296
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:23,400
But if you break down her 
personality, and I know a 

297
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,560
majority of our podcast is 
girlies that listen to us, me, 

298
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:29,840
us is me now. 
Gotta get used to that. 

299
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:34,400
Fucking love that narcissism. 
No, I'm just tired of carrying a

300
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:37,560
chud around. 
Lazy sack of shit around. 

301
00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:40,520
For those of you that heard 
that, I'm sorry. 

302
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:45,400
I'm really not. 
And so we see her personality. 

303
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:49,840
We see the distaste and disgust 
that she had failed. 

304
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:52,240
And I feel like a lot of my 
clients have that misery, 

305
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,600
whether in school, whether it's 
occupation, whether it's they 

306
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,160
want to show their family 
member, their parent, their 

307
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:01,000
guardian, their loved one when 
they're very young. 

308
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:04,400
Like look at this thing I did 
look at this amazing thing that 

309
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,520
I brought you. 
As you guys know, I'm doing a 

310
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:08,920
shit ton of 3D printing. 
So I'm, I'm making a bunch of 

311
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:12,359
lightsabers now I'm holding this
upside down. 

312
00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:15,359
Don't judge me, missus. 
Mace Windu's lightsaber. 

313
00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:19,640
I've made like 20 different 
versions of other Savers, and 

314
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,800
you want to show them, look at 
this awesome thing that I've 

315
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,920
done. 
You want them to be happy. 

316
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:26,160
You want them to be proud. 
You want them to be excited. 

317
00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:31,080
You want to be seen, noticed, 
heard, validated, recognized, 

318
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,960
affirmed. 
You want to be the prettiest 

319
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:37,600
girl in the room in that moment 
with your loved one, your 

320
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:40,880
parent, because they're supposed
to be happy for you. 

321
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:45,040
And you just want to be a big 
kid and, and have that joy when 

322
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:46,720
your parent looks at you like, 
yeah. 

323
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:51,160
I have a lot of girlies that 
start off bubbly like that. 

324
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,080
A lot of boys too. 
But a lot of my girlies would 

325
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:55,560
start off bubbly like that. 
But then the criticism comes in.

326
00:17:56,640 --> 00:18:00,640
Then the critiquing comes in, 
then the too loud. 

327
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:03,600
You too. 
Much You ask too many questions.

328
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:10,120
You need to be more quiet. 
You need to be seen, not heard. 

329
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:14,560
You need to make yourself 
smaller, which is a lot of my 

330
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:18,000
young women are taught 
intentionally or 

331
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:26,280
unintentionally, verbally or non
verbally, overtly, subtly and we

332
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:30,000
see a lot of personalities which
are very lovely, but the hopeful

333
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:34,320
personality shrink. 
Some of that drives them to 

334
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:37,440
depression, some of that drives 
them to perfectionism. 

335
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,720
Some of that drives folks to I 
will get it done because I want 

336
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,120
your love. 
And I will prove that I am 

337
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:47,560
worthy of your love. 
Some of the parents are 

338
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,960
neglectful and so it's hard for 
the kid to get the love. 

339
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:53,920
Some of the parents are I, me, 
my and they will never give the 

340
00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:55,720
kid the love because the parents
really don't give a fuck. 

341
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:59,000
About the kid, some of them are 
addicted, some of them got their

342
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,560
own trauma, so it's hard to love
because they never really got 

343
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:02,960
that love. 
And so it's just hard to 

344
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:04,800
replicate. 
It so you just do your best and 

345
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:08,000
the parents would be like, 
you're lucky and you're just a 

346
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,240
kid. 
You don't understand what that 

347
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:10,760
means. 
You just know that things aren't

348
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:14,280
good and you're crying or you're
lonely but you're lucky. 

349
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,240
You're like why? 
Because it's not as bad as I had

350
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,640
it. 
OK, so that's what we call 

351
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:22,120
generational trauma y'all? 
Just in case you didn't know. 

352
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:24,160
I'm sure many of you been 
through it. 

353
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,720
And so that shit gets passed 
down and down and down and what 

354
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:28,840
we. 
Get is a lot of people that are 

355
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:33,040
very shy, very avoidant, they're
not really happy or proud of 

356
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:37,200
like the things that they do. 
And as my girly said today, I 

357
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,920
can't rest. 
Why not? 

358
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:44,440
I need to be productive. 
OK, so playing the video game 

359
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:45,840
isn't productive. 
Well, I said, can't you just 

360
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,080
take some rest? 
You already got all your work 

361
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:48,120
done. 
But I should be reading, 'cause 

362
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:51,240
that's better. 
I'm like, OK, better how? 

363
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:53,080
Well, it just makes me more 
rounded, makes me more 

364
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:55,880
intelligent, more eloquent. 
It's just better for my mind. 

365
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,400
Yes, I agree. 
Can't you do both? 

366
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,120
Well, I should. 
Spend less time doing that 

367
00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:02,600
'cause I should be much more 
productive. 

368
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,680
And I said, what are you trying 
to prove to everyone or anyone? 

369
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,520
Who you? 
What are you proving and to who?

370
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:09,960
Well, I need to be the smartest 
one in the room. 

371
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:11,880
Are you? 
I like to be. 

372
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,360
I need to be the prettiest one 
in the room. 

373
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:20,120
Are you crickets? 
They are gorgeous. 

374
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:26,200
But always judging yourself and 
then taking it into your 

375
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:29,520
relationship, always trying to 
prove, always being anxious that

376
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:32,680
they may not love you or they 
may leave you, or if they don't 

377
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,320
text you back, you're 
immediately tweaking out. 

378
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,960
Why 'cause this shit's already 
been implanted in you from when 

379
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,160
you were little, Nina. 
Little girl. 

380
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:43,840
Oh boy. 
Hard to break those shackles. 

381
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:49,840
Hard to break those demons. 
They course through you. 

382
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:50,680
You don't even know that 
they're. 

383
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:55,280
There like shadows. 
They're there, but you never 

384
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:56,960
really see them. 
You never pay attention to them.

385
00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:00,600
Why am I spending so much time 
on this? 

386
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:04,560
Could you see it in the subtle 
expressions, the pain, the 

387
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:07,360
trauma, the hatred for herself, 
for her partner? 

388
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:10,120
And then you see the other boy 
who's already given up. 

389
00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:13,480
It's already gone. 
Reminds me a lot of black and 

390
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:17,040
brown little boys. 
Technically this statistic is 

391
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:19,000
true for all black and brown 
folks. 

392
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,920
Doesn't matter their gender that
mentally we drop out in 4th and 

393
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:24,600
5th grade. 
Like what? 

394
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:26,040
What do you mean they're still 
graduating? 

395
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:29,120
Well, we graduate at a very low 
clip, but that's showing that we

396
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:31,520
stopped participating and 
actively learning. 

397
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:34,840
When you equivalent everything 
for poverty. 

398
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,160
So you bring white people down, 
other races down, everyone's at 

399
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,720
the same poverty level. 
We still are dropping out at the

400
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:41,520
4th and 5th grade. 
Mentally, we've already given 

401
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:44,680
up. 
We already know there's no hope.

402
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:48,160
One of the biggest markers in 
success is showing that we have 

403
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:50,840
a teacher that looks like us. 
So if it's a black or brown 

404
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:53,080
teacher, astronomically 
skyrockets. 

405
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:57,080
A lot of women that are teaching
if you have a brown dude, black 

406
00:21:57,080 --> 00:22:00,080
dude in there around some brown 
and black boys astronomically 

407
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,120
skyrockets. 40% more likely. 
These are old statistics. 

408
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,800
Could be different now. 40% more
likely to finish school in world

409
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:10,920
college if someone like me just 
exists in the room. 

410
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:16,360
Why did I say this? 
I've been that fox my entire 

411
00:22:16,360 --> 00:22:20,320
life. 
Doesn't matter, it's fine. 

412
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,880
Make jokes, Make jokes, make 
jokes. 

413
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:25,840
Lead just into the next part of 
the scene. 

414
00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:28,560
He goes well, you know, making 
all. 

415
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:31,080
These jokes, you know, is, is 
someone with a traumatic 

416
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:33,520
childhood, you know, it's a 
defense mechanism and it's like 

417
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:36,000
that's even a joke. 
Him talking about his trauma as 

418
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,320
a joke, we might as well make a 
fucking joke. 

419
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,080
Why? 
Otherwise you're crying. 

420
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:44,040
A lot of my clients make jokes. 
I make a ton of jokes. 

421
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:47,440
It's a more masculine related 
thing, but the girlys do it too.

422
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:52,200
The girlys do it too. 
I know a lot of people are. 

423
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:54,000
Uncomfortable with like dark 
humor. 

424
00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:57,800
Some autistics really aren't, 
some other folks aren't, but 

425
00:22:57,800 --> 00:22:59,680
there's a lot of folks that do 
like dark humor, especially 

426
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:03,600
fucked up ones like me. 
And we will make the suicidal 

427
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:06,240
jokes with each other. 
And maybe you don't like that 

428
00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:07,200
shit. 
That's completely fine. 

429
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:08,880
It's up to you. 
But some of us who's like, you 

430
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:12,520
know, been suicidal as shit, 
been depressed as fuck and had 

431
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:15,000
attempts like I, I think it is 
what it is. 

432
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,080
I think, I think that's part of 
your crew and your clique. 

433
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:18,600
Maybe it's grotesque. 
I mean it. 

434
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,840
I mean, you ain't fucking 
laughing. 

435
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,760
You're crying. 
And so it's hilarious. 

436
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:25,960
And me and my clients are like, 
we'll, we'll tease around with 

437
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,480
some of that stuff. 
And I'm like, all right, lock 

438
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:28,680
the fuck in, though. 
How you doing? 

439
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:30,440
Is it is passive is what's going
on? 

440
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:32,000
Like, no, Nas, I'm chilling. 
I'm like OK. 

441
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:37,480
Why don't I bring this up That 
humor stuff can like save you 

442
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:41,080
for a long time. 
I've got some clients that we 

443
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:42,800
are the clowns. 
I've said this in the other 

444
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:45,840
podcast before to the other boys
we like to be. 

445
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:47,200
Clowns. 
The court gestures. 

446
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:54,480
Why a lot of us are deeply 
traumatized because our family 

447
00:23:54,480 --> 00:24:00,200
household was fucked up. 
And you are making everyone calm

448
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:03,240
and chill because you know it 
diffuses situations. 

449
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,520
If it diffuses situations, then 
you know that you're safer. 

450
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:10,040
And most likely people won't 
tweak out or there won't be a 

451
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,040
big argument. 
Mom won't get kicked in the 

452
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:13,440
head. 
Sorry if that's traumatic, 

453
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:15,200
deeply sorry. 
Some of this is going to be very

454
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:17,600
traumatic. 
Dad won't get kicked in the 

455
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:19,520
head. 
Maybe they won't split up. 

456
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:24,080
Maybe your siblings won't fight.
Maybe someone's not going to 

457
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:25,760
abuse you. 
If you make sure that they're 

458
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,280
like happy and fine, maybe 
there's some some addiction 

459
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:33,400
issues in the family, who knows.
Maybe you're autistic and you 

460
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:35,760
know that if you make jokes or 
make yourself the butt of the 

461
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,160
joke that they won't bully you 
anymore because you're already 

462
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:40,400
making the joke. 
It's like some old Eminem shit 

463
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,680
back in the day. 
If I say this shit first, you 

464
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,120
can't say it. 
You can't hurt me. 

465
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:48,800
And so many folks like me get 
this persona, this swag, this 

466
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:53,240
personality of making jokes, 
talking shit, having fun, saying

467
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,720
weird stuff. 
Maybe the ADHD, the tism kicks 

468
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:58,080
in and you say wild comments, 
people laugh, you don't even 

469
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,840
know why they laugh. 
But you continue to say wild 

470
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:02,160
comments. 
And then you're getting like 

471
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:04,560
this attention, but also like 
it's kind of like funny and 

472
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:06,600
subtle. 
And so you just develop by 

473
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:11,640
watching hyper vigilantly and 
getting this algorithm make data

474
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:14,280
on what makes people laugh. 
And so that you end up parroting

475
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,440
the same jokes over and over and
over, the same microexpressions 

476
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:20,320
over and over and over. 
And you develop this personality

477
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:23,280
that is now the court jester, 
the clown that gets brought in 

478
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:24,640
to appease the king and the 
queen. 

479
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:29,360
But it protects you. 
But also now everyone sees you 

480
00:25:29,360 --> 00:25:32,680
as the fool. 
And some of us end up buying 

481
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:34,040
into them. 
We think that we're stupid. 

482
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,320
A lot of the boys end up buying 
to it, think that they're stupid

483
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:40,120
because they're now worried 
about being the clown and 

484
00:25:40,120 --> 00:25:42,160
appeasing everyone that they're 
not doing their schoolwork. 

485
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:44,760
Because everyone says that 
they're stupid, but they're not 

486
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,280
stupid. 
They're actually highly 

487
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:48,680
intelligent. 
Why are they intelligent? 

488
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,040
Nazir? 
Dr. Nas. 

489
00:25:53,520 --> 00:26:01,680
I love using my full name these 
days because it takes a very 

490
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:04,160
intelligent person to be that 
hyper vigilant to understand 

491
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:06,360
what's going on in the room and 
defuse it with humor. 

492
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:12,840
So him highly intelligent, 
probably deeply traumatized. 

493
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:15,960
But is it from family issues? 
Is it from bullying issues? 

494
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:18,720
Is it from him being? 
Different is it? 

495
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:21,320
Is it poverty related things? 
Like who fucking knows? 

496
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:24,880
What it is and maybe he's talked
about in the other movie and I 

497
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:27,160
just redacted it. 
But many of us. 

498
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:30,200
Play the fool, but we are very 
wise. 

499
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,000
But a wise person can play the 
fool 'cause we always know who 

500
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:35,640
we are. 
Sometimes it gets lost in 

501
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:39,360
translation. 
But the fool can never be a wise

502
00:26:39,360 --> 00:26:41,400
actual person. 
What does that mean? 

503
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:44,480
Some of us are fools, some some 
of y'all like this one and it's 

504
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:49,040
fine. 
Make sure you know who you are 

505
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:52,960
though and if you want to become
wise. 

506
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:56,800
I think wisdom is gained to 
experiences, trauma and other 

507
00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:58,840
things. 
There's learned. 

508
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:01,200
That is the correct word. 
Someone tried to like fight me 

509
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:02,400
on this. 
I'm like, go look that shit up, 

510
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:03,640
motherfucker. 
I know what I'm talking about. 

511
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:06,400
You know, you talking about why 
'cause I'm 'cause I'm black, 

512
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:09,120
bitch. 
I'm, I'm married with Mexican. 

513
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:12,560
But like I say that because they
think I'm stupid 'cause the way 

514
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:14,920
I talk or care of myself, it is 
learned. 

515
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,640
And they're book read and they 
have a haiku and they're 

516
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:20,200
intelligent. 
But like there's some things 

517
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:24,000
which you get wisdom and that's 
still going through shit. 

518
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:27,240
That's learning and learning the
hard way. 

519
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,920
But being a clown, I see a lot 
of my boys that fall into that 

520
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:37,480
trap right of the the. 
Stupidity, the locker room talk 

521
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,160
and other things. 
But I see some of my girlies do 

522
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:41,200
it too. 
And I got a bunch of girlies 

523
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:43,720
that literally just giggle the 
entire time when we're talking 

524
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:46,360
about traumatic shit because 
their nervous system doesn't 

525
00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:48,040
know what to do and they can't 
really talk and they get 

526
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,240
overwhelmed and so they just 
laugh and they kind of laugh and

527
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:51,480
cry. 
So they kind of look like 

528
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:53,480
fucking demonic at the same 
time. 

529
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:55,960
I'm like, what's going on? 
You fucking snorting, you're 

530
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:58,480
crying, the snot going 
everywhere, You're like choking.

531
00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:00,280
I'm like, this is a fucking 
exorcism. 

532
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:04,640
Where's my holy water at? 
That's just soda. 

533
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:09,640
That was me flicking it at them.
Splat. 

534
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,040
Oh, damn, that bitch melted. 
Yes, you did. 

535
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:18,480
So I love having fun just 
talking to myself. 

536
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:20,480
It was fantastic. 
It was like autism's. 

537
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:22,880
I was going to say wet dream. 
I'm sorry. 

538
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:27,520
Oh my God, I'm already 
cancelled. 

539
00:28:28,120 --> 00:28:32,280
So many of my girlies go through
it as well too, but you see 

540
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:33,960
usually the personality is a 
little bit shifted. 

541
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:39,680
I love the way they represent 
the Bunny which then translates 

542
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:41,720
us or transitions us into the 
next scene where they 

543
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:43,760
technically. 
Have to go to couples therapy 

544
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:46,440
but it's like partner therapy 
and. 

545
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:50,040
I think it's hilarious the very 
first part you see this. 

546
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:54,160
Cop pairing were the one. 
It's just like picking and 

547
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,280
eating. 
I'm pretty sure that's what that

548
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:58,240
animal does and they're picking 
and eating. 

549
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:00,440
I think the buggies out of the 
person's like fur. 

550
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:05,120
And I was like, bro, that 
reminds me of like the partners 

551
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:08,360
that love picking at the pimples
and like the ingrown hairs on 

552
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:10,040
the other person. 
And I always feel like that's 

553
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:13,360
definitely like an autistic 
thing where you just or ADHD, 

554
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:15,520
you just dig it in there and 
you're watching the pimple 

555
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:17,840
popper shows and shit like that 
and you just, you're just 

556
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,000
getting in there, the little bit
and the nubbies. 

557
00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:25,120
I felt that. 
There was very it needs to 

558
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,680
you're autistic coded. 
Just watching them do that. 

559
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:29,080
I don't know, maybe that shit 
was cultural. 

560
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:32,120
It's definitely animal in that 
thing, but whatever. 

561
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:34,240
I thought that was funny. 
I'm sure some of you will relate

562
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:36,560
to that. 
Whether you enjoy people picking

563
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:39,720
and digging in, I don't really 
care. 

564
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:42,960
But definitely got lots of 
ingrown hairs and pimples. 

565
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:44,560
I know my ma used to do that 
shit all the time. 

566
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:46,840
And some of my partners too. 
I'm like, what are you doing in 

567
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,040
there? 
Like I got to get this blackhead

568
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:50,600
out. 
I'm like, oh, this shit squirts 

569
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:55,160
you in the fucking eye and you 
get pink eye from it. 

570
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:59,840
You some bitch. 
It'll be a staph infection from 

571
00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:03,080
digging in there. 
That one's been there for three 

572
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:04,920
years. 
One's got a face. 

573
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:10,480
Jamal, Call them Jamal. 
Real shit PSA make sure you go 

574
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:13,120
to the dermatologist if you guys
feel find any weird stuff. 

575
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:15,320
I finally asked the 
dermatologist after like 4 years

576
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:18,160
of forgetting. 
Hey man this fucking thing going

577
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:20,040
to kill me is the way you're 
talking about. 

578
00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:22,080
Lift up my shirt. 
These like 3 moles. 

579
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:24,200
I feel like this one always gets
bigger and he gets angry at me 

580
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:26,120
when I like touch it. 
He's like, Nah, you're. 

581
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:27,520
Good. 
He's like, OK, I just want to 

582
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:28,320
make sure. 
I've been tweaking out. 

583
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:29,880
Think I'm getting fucking cancer
from this shit. 

584
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:33,520
I'm taking that. 
I had a cancer scare, but that 

585
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:36,200
was from something else. 
Everything's fine. 

586
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,440
So. 
We see the next scene. 

587
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:42,800
They're in this couples therapy.
The therapist is definitely 

588
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,400
sounds like a white woman, which
most labors are. 

589
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:47,360
It's not even racial, just is 
what it is. 

590
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:51,760
It's facts and she's being all 
nice and stuff, but very 

591
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:53,840
actually strict and like on par 
with everything. 

592
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:58,120
So I love the rules of it and I 
love how she fucking breaks them

593
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:00,640
down immediately in in that 
couples therapy, which 

594
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:02,640
everyone's in there. 
It's like group couples therapy.

595
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:06,920
So why do I put that scene in 
there specifically? 

596
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:10,720
Because the way she, like, 
attacks them is fucking 

597
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,640
fantastic. 
You see that the Bunny is highly

598
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:17,080
anxious, but also to the point, 
very like on their ship, blah 

599
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:19,680
blah blah blah blah. 
And they start talking 

600
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:21,680
immediately and they talk really
fast. 

601
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:23,160
The Bunny wants to say 
everything. 

602
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:24,960
They have a lot to say. 
I feel like it's a lot of my 

603
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:27,280
neurodivergent girlies. 
They have a lot of things to 

604
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:28,600
say. 
They don't have a lot of time to

605
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:29,920
say it. 
There's like a rush to get 

606
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:31,440
things out. 
People don't listen to women. 

607
00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:33,200
Maybe there's a bigger family. 
Maybe there's dudes in the 

608
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:34,840
family. 
And they just have to get it 

609
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:35,920
all. 
Why? 

610
00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:39,200
Because they're not sure if they
have enough time and they have 

611
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:41,280
to give you a shit ton of 
details because what if they 

612
00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:43,760
explain it wrong? 
So they're going to over explain

613
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:45,400
it and give you too many 
details. 

614
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:47,600
That way you understand. 
But they also know that takes a 

615
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:50,360
lot of words and thus they will 
speak faster. 

616
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:52,440
That's what that felt like to 
me. 

617
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,640
Also reminds me a lot of the 
moms that I work with. 

618
00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:59,480
So my clients moms would like 
show up and they'll just be the 

619
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:02,080
yappers man and dad just be 
sitting there just like, you 

620
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:05,200
know, just just dumb as shit. 
And I'm like, you got to get any

621
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:06,760
thoughts and like no, she said 
it all. 

622
00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:09,240
I'm like, you ain't got no she 
good. 

623
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:14,760
No, OK, you want some Legos? 
I'm just having fun looking at 

624
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:21,800
my own faces now and you see the
moms just talking so much 

625
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:25,840
sometimes and you see how like 
intense they are and like how 

626
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:27,840
involved they are and 
overwhelming they are. 

627
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:31,640
Sometimes I'm like go you neuro 
divergent as shit my guy. 

628
00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:33,480
And like I'll diagnose the kid 
autistic and. 

629
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:36,000
They'll be like, yeah, Dad's 
autistic because he's just, he's

630
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:37,200
just chilling. 
He's vibing. 

631
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:39,160
He's kind of, you know, in and 
out mentally. 

632
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:41,400
He's not really there. 
I'm like, I think Ma's. 

633
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:43,880
Autistic is shit too man. 
Why do I bring this up? 

634
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:48,400
Because I feel like one and two 
always equals 3 huh? 

635
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:55,280
I feel like chill neural type 
always kind of gives with the 

636
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,960
high strung neural type. 
And I see that with almost all 

637
00:32:57,960 --> 00:33:00,600
of my couples, doesn't matter 
what gender, but usually dudes 

638
00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:02,920
being a little bit more LAX and 
then my girlies being a little 

639
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:05,360
bit more hard wired, meaning a 
little bit more anxious, a 

640
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:07,680
little bit more obsessive, a 
little bit more neurotic. 

641
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:10,000
Not always true. 
Got a lot of dudes that are 

642
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,680
coded like that as well too. 
I feel like normally they fall 

643
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:15,920
in like the level 2 instead of 
the level 1 autism spectrum. 

644
00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:20,040
And so we see this here too. 
Let's say that there are a 

645
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:21,840
couple. 
I feel like she's the autistic 

646
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:27,440
mom and he could be coded as the
autistic dad or the ADHD dad. 

647
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:29,200
Obviously she had a ton of 
trauma in there that we talked 

648
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:31,320
about as well too. 
He feels much more neurotypical 

649
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:33,000
as we move on to some bigger 
talks. 

650
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:36,440
She also feels very neurotypical
and as we talk about some other 

651
00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:40,040
talks and the last seen. 
But also trauma does rewire the 

652
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:44,040
brain thus makes the neural 
connections different thus makes

653
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:45,920
that individual very neural 
divergent. 

654
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:50,040
I feel like he has ADHD the way 
he talks. 

655
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:53,360
Just the ideas. 
The sarcasm, the humor, how 

656
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:55,360
quick witted he is. 
I feel like your mind has to be 

657
00:33:55,360 --> 00:34:00,200
working on a certain plane. 
Certain level variance, 

658
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:03,040
frequency. 
Frequency. 

659
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:04,760
That's a word. 
Don't know how to spell it. 

660
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:10,840
That's a word to vibe like him. 
I don't think frequency is what 

661
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:13,159
I was looking for. 
Altitude. 

662
00:34:13,639 --> 00:34:16,159
That's another word. 
It's a good word. 

663
00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:22,360
Yeah. 
So her, the therapist cuts in 

664
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:25,679
immediately and says, well, did 
you all notice that she talked 

665
00:34:25,679 --> 00:34:27,520
first? 
She didn't let him talk at all. 

666
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:29,840
She's actually fidgeting. 
She's kind of intense and she's 

667
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:31,520
tapping her leg like 
incessantly. 

668
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:36,760
Interesting on how she like saw 
all the physical symptoms of 

669
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:38,920
like her anxiety and then how 
she showed up. 

670
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:43,080
So the nonverbals in the 
verbals, how fast she was 

671
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:46,280
talking, how intentful she was 
talking, and also being the 

672
00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:49,199
first one to talk. 
Maybe that's because he's like 

673
00:34:49,199 --> 00:34:51,880
an idiot in a buffoon and the 
girly just has to show up and 

674
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:53,920
she needs to do the talking 
because she's more eloquent and 

675
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:55,800
all that shit. 
But maybe also you cuckolded the

676
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:58,520
guy and enabled the guy. 
To never show up at all. 

677
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:01,640
And then you wonder why the 
girly or her or anyone that 

678
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:04,560
resembles that identity is 
fucking burned out in the 

679
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:07,000
relationship of marriage because
you're having to do all the 

680
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:11,680
lifting. 
That sounds like me on the 

681
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:18,960
podcast having to do all of it 
all the time and pay for 

682
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:22,440
everything. 
Oh, I have to use my credentials

683
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:24,360
to get gifts, but we're not 
really going to get into that. 

684
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:31,720
But I'm a petty bitch so. 
Fuck it, so you. 

685
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:34,120
I feel like I know where she's 
coming from and I feel like a 

686
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:35,920
lot of individuals will relate 
to her. 

687
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:38,800
That vibe of having the other 
partner that's a little bit more

688
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:41,520
lackadaisical or not buying in 
and not contributing enough. 

689
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:44,520
And then the therapist is like, 
well, yeah, you know, look at 

690
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:45,880
his ass. 
You know, he's just chilling. 

691
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:48,680
He's vibing, but you can tell 
he's like deeply insecure. 

692
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,360
Oh, where do we get that 
insecure for one from? 

693
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:54,680
So I feel like both of the 
individuals are insecure. 

694
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:57,880
Her shows up as much more. 
I'm going to perform for you. 

695
00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:00,880
His is showing what like I don't
give a fuck. 

696
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:03,760
It is what it is. 
I I I don't care avoidant 

697
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:07,600
personality, but also I don't 
care kind of little nihilistic Y

698
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:11,160
but. 
More so if if I don't try and I 

699
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:13,960
fail, it doesn't matter because 
I didn't fucking try. 

700
00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:17,960
Where she's like pause where a 
lot of people, you know, they 

701
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:20,600
don't want to try because they 
don't want to actually find out 

702
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:22,960
that they are fucking terrible. 
So he just he just gives up. 

703
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:24,640
He quits before you can fire 
him. 

704
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:29,400
Where she is like going to get 
shit done and she's going to be 

705
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:32,920
highly successful. 
And I love her and all my 

706
00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:34,640
girlies that show up in her 
identity. 

707
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:38,120
Love that shit. 
But I'm terrified that they're 

708
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:42,040
going to get stuck with a lot of
like very insecure, kind of 

709
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:46,320
narcissistic, maybe a little bit
uzy, but like, oh, he regulates 

710
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:48,560
me. 
Does he Or he just shows you the

711
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:52,600
attention and does a few things,
the bare bones minimum, and then

712
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:54,360
you accept it. 
So I always want to make sure 

713
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:56,800
that the dude is contributing 
what he needs to be contributing

714
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:59,440
and that you're not accepting it
because you're people pleasing 

715
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:01,240
all the fucking time because the
shit that you've been through 

716
00:37:01,240 --> 00:37:02,960
with your family, parents and 
friends. 

717
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:05,640
And so when you finally get a 
semblance of a healthy 

718
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:07,960
relationship, you think it's 
fantastic, but in actuality, it 

719
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:09,640
isn't up to par where it should 
be. 

720
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:12,200
And you're over performing in 
the relationship of the 

721
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:14,200
marriage. 
You're over performing in all 

722
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:17,360
your relationships at work. 
And then what do you get? 

723
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:21,240
When you over perform, what do 
you get? 

724
00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:25,920
You get more work, you get more 
responsibilities. 

725
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:29,800
You don't normally get more 
respect and you normally don't 

726
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:35,160
get more money. 
I suppose mounts don't get fed. 

727
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:40,080
So I teach and I push all the 
girlies that work with me to go 

728
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:41,880
get their money, to go get their
respect. 

729
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:49,960
To demand it, demand it, as I 
advise all of you and myself, 

730
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:52,920
it's very difficult to do, to 
demand things, to set the 

731
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:55,360
boundaries. 
So I feel like that was a good 

732
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:57,120
way to break those up, you know 
what I'm saying? 

733
00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:00,360
To like, check out two 
individuals. 

734
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:05,600
What do I got? 
I feel like I got everything 

735
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:06,480
from that scene. 
Yeah. 

736
00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:07,840
Yeah, yeah. 
Talks fast. 

737
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:13,600
Oh, I think the one funny scene 
is we look at the next couple 

738
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:16,200
that goes up to do like some 
role-playing, and then the one 

739
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:17,800
starts choking the shit off the 
other one. 

740
00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:19,720
I feel like it's a lot of 
couples I work with. 

741
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:24,760
And she says, well, they 
definitely took the smile as a 

742
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:27,440
sign of aggression. 
I'm like, holy shit, that's a 

743
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:31,600
sign of aggression. 
I'm fucking smiling at anyone. 

744
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:33,680
My autistic ass. 
Lesson learned. 

745
00:38:36,240 --> 00:38:41,600
And then transitions us to the 
to the last scene, which is a 

746
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:45,080
deeply emotional, vulnerable 
scene Swirler. 

747
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:49,920
She saves his life, but he also 
saves her life. 

748
00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:51,960
So it's like a whole fucking 
like tussle thing. 

749
00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:54,440
It's like hella intense. 
Gotta love it. 

750
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:56,680
And they have this. 
Vulnerable moment in which 

751
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:58,680
they're expressing to each 
other. 

752
00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:04,640
He bites the bullet first on how
much he loves her and how much 

753
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:11,600
he wants to protect her and be 
with her as a partner, not as a 

754
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:13,840
romantic thing. 
I but I can't really read in the

755
00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:15,400
line to that and I haven't 
really looked too much. 

756
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:16,680
Maybe they get married, I don't 
fucking know. 

757
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:23,600
But how like he's the she is the
brightest part of his day and 

758
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:26,040
the only reason why he took this
job was to be close to her 

759
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:29,360
because he also wants to like 
help her grow, but he wants to 

760
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:32,720
protect her and he just really 
enjoys it because she is the. 

761
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:35,720
Only person that ever fucking 
tried that ever saw anything 

762
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:38,400
good about him and maybe his 
entire life. 

763
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:41,440
She didn't give up. 
She's positive. 

764
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:44,960
She's a ray of light. 
She's like the fucking sun, just

765
00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:49,840
ever burning. 
Even though I'm sure she's 

766
00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:56,040
exhausted, she's ever burning, 
full of joy, trying to prove 

767
00:39:56,040 --> 00:40:00,480
everyone wrong. 
And she sees something good in 

768
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:02,360
him where everyone thinks that 
he's trash. 

769
00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:06,440
And so he gets really attracted 
to that, whether it's platonic 

770
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:09,720
or romantic, because it feels 
good for someone to see you. 

771
00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:15,920
But since he says that, he's 
deeply traumatized in the next 

772
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:18,480
second and he makes all the 
jokes as a defense mechanism 

773
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:22,440
because it's scared to give. 
Be vulnerable is because 

774
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:26,000
whenever people, doesn't matter 
what gender are vulnerable and 

775
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:29,040
it's shut down or it's made fun 
of, it's bullied, You're a 

776
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:32,280
bitch, you're a pussy, you're a 
loser, you're worthless, you're 

777
00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:36,000
weird, you're awkward. 
No one wants to hear about your 

778
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,320
crying, your suicidality, your 
anxiety. 

779
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:40,640
You're making it up. 
That's for white people. 

780
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:42,280
That's what a lot of us say in 
our culture, right? 

781
00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:44,400
That's not for you. 
Those are privileged problems. 

782
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:47,400
Nothing's wrong with you, prayed
away. 

783
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:49,640
When people tell you these 
things, when you hear these 

784
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:51,120
things, society plays these 
things. 

785
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:53,600
You see it on Instagram. 
Everyone's happy and gorgeous 

786
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:57,760
and rich and you. 
Start setting in that you're not

787
00:40:57,760 --> 00:41:01,760
enough. 
You get into delinquency like he

788
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:05,280
did, like I did, given being 
expelled in the second grade, 

789
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:11,800
being a rotten kid, depressed, 
ADHD, autistic, and why not 

790
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:15,520
attention and was swearing 
because people were teaching me 

791
00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:18,560
to swear and they laughed. 
And your bad behavior gets you 

792
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:25,640
attention on your father's 
incarcerated and I was bad 

793
00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:27,920
before he's incarcerated, but I 
was worse afterwards. 

794
00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:31,560
And your mother's working and 
your brother's autistic and 

795
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:33,480
really can't support you in the 
ways that you need. 

796
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:35,240
And he's also just a kid as well
too. 

797
00:41:35,240 --> 00:41:42,760
And and so you start shit and 
you're highly intelligent and so

798
00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:44,960
you understand the work, and 
then you just want to goof off 

799
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:46,400
because you already get the 
work. 

800
00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:49,920
And so you have the ability to 
goof off, and that's what you 

801
00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:51,880
do. 
But then you get in trouble. 

802
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:53,320
Then you get. 
Labeled the bad kid. 

803
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:57,160
Then people look at you bad. 
They look at you like you're 

804
00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:59,720
terrible. 
And then it sets in. 

805
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:03,360
It's terrible. 
Then you get shipped off the 

806
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:06,880
behavior modification school. 
You really don't even know why, 

807
00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:11,080
but it's pretty much a prison 
and you sit in these closets in 

808
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:13,280
these cubicles. 
You don't interact with anyone. 

809
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:16,960
It's very cold and sterile, and 
you slowly get more and more 

810
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:22,160
like free time or 
responsibilities away from the 

811
00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:24,880
cubicle or desk or the wall that
you were forced to stare at. 

812
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:29,680
You've already kind of given up 
that you're worthless, but 

813
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:31,680
eventually you get some 
teachers, like see you, and 

814
00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:35,400
eventually you may be smart 
enough to figure out the system 

815
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:37,520
just like prison system, and 
then you kind of get out of it. 

816
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:40,760
But many boys don't. 
Many boys maybe aren't even as 

817
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:43,000
lucky as me to go to this 
fucking shit ass behavior mod 

818
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:45,800
school where I did get some 
isolated attention. 

819
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:53,000
Not saying that it was good, but
got me out of jam pop got me 

820
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:54,520
probably some of the services I 
need. 

821
00:42:56,400 --> 00:43:00,800
Why bring this up? 
I understand both of their 

822
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:04,360
personalities, but his is like 
deeply congruent with mine. 

823
00:43:08,240 --> 00:43:10,200
And it just feels hurtful. 
To know that someone has 

824
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:12,160
probably so much brightness, so 
much joy. 

825
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:18,400
You know, earlier I was talking 
to someone, a client and they 

826
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:21,720
were at the park and they're at 
a park chilling vibe and they 

827
00:43:21,720 --> 00:43:24,000
get their headphones in and you 
can hear children playing and 

828
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:26,720
people talk and it's really hard
for them to lock in because 

829
00:43:26,720 --> 00:43:28,120
they're distracted. 
But it like, it helped them 

830
00:43:28,120 --> 00:43:32,760
regulate and, and all this other
stuff talking to me, it was, it 

831
00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:34,120
ended up being a really good 
session. 

832
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:38,840
And then I went to the park 
later today and I went for a 

833
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:42,640
walk with a client and we were 
just talking and talking and 

834
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:44,200
talking. 
And then, you know, we sat down 

835
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:50,040
the park and we're vibing and, 
and you know, you get grounded 

836
00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:52,080
into like some of this stuff. 
Why, why do I tell this? 

837
00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:55,080
Because you get grounded in this
stuff and you get to see, 

838
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:56,880
because I had this thing that 
stuck in my mind. 

839
00:43:56,880 --> 00:44:00,200
I saw this black woman and I saw
her gorgeous little black 

840
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:02,640
daughter. 
And you know, she got the little

841
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:06,880
braids and she's got the little 
things in her hair and she's 

842
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:09,080
just skipping. 
And when I saw her skipping, I 

843
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:11,200
was just like so happy. 
I don't know why I feel like 

844
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:16,840
crying. 
Just nice to see how happy kids 

845
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:19,720
are. 
And I thought to myself, I hope 

846
00:44:19,720 --> 00:44:22,360
she's really happy always. 
She's not dealing with a lot of 

847
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:28,280
shit or or trauma or or poverty 
or then you get worried about 

848
00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:30,960
when she finally realizes you 
know more when she's older 

849
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:36,040
because she was small kid, like,
she's black or like you're brown

850
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:38,400
in the world. 
And it becomes scary and 

851
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:41,120
dangerous. 
And I thought about her getting 

852
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:43,240
older as a woman and the stuff 
she'll have to face. 

853
00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:49,800
It's just intense to know what 
people will have to face. 

854
00:44:51,360 --> 00:44:54,120
Yeah, it's intense. 
So I was just really happy when 

855
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:56,240
I saw her because I saw her just
skipping her like this is 

856
00:44:56,240 --> 00:44:59,640
fucking awesome. 
But their joy gets like, blown 

857
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:01,880
out for a lot of us. 
The candles get blown out. 

858
00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:07,560
Things happen, traumas happen, 
stuff sets in. 

859
00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:11,120
I've already talked about it. 
And you like you lose that, the 

860
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:14,640
innocence and then your 
personality changes, which is 

861
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:16,640
really sad. 
I feel like it's what happened 

862
00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:18,320
to him, what happened to her as 
well too. 

863
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:21,080
But. 
He's probably a really, really, 

864
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:22,480
really, really, really good 
dude. 

865
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:25,000
And you start to see it come 
out, but you make all the jokes 

866
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:27,000
and you push people away and you
push people away. 

867
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:27,800
Why? 
Because you. 

868
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:29,960
Quit on them before they quit on
you. 

869
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:32,400
You quit on them before they 
quit on you. 

870
00:45:36,240 --> 00:45:38,040
If you never gain them, you 
never lose them. 

871
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:42,280
And it's crazy too, because you 
finally get some people that 

872
00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:45,080
show some attention and write in
that little bit of love he gets 

873
00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:48,360
from her. 
So it's a old quote from 

874
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:51,200
Guardians of the Galaxy, because
that little bit of love. 

875
00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:54,600
You get boy lets you know how 
empty. 

876
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:58,360
You are inside. 
That's why you push everyone 

877
00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:01,040
away, that's why you do all this
dumb shit, that's why you say 

878
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:03,600
all this wild shit. 
Because as soon as someone gets 

879
00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:08,680
close, you feel it. 
And it's scary because anytime 

880
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:12,000
you love it almost guarantees 
pain. 

881
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:16,960
Anytime you reach for the stars 
almost guarantees failure. 

882
00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:24,480
The end of it so that Jon 
Bellion has a song with Luke 

883
00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:25,520
Combs called. 
Why? 

884
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:30,680
Why love anything? 
Why It's difficult to love 

885
00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:33,240
things. 
It can cause so much pain, so 

886
00:46:33,240 --> 00:46:35,320
much damage. 
He wrote the song for his 

887
00:46:35,320 --> 00:46:39,320
children. 
I've been saying that to a few 

888
00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:41,880
clients, a lot of my people that
you know, very anxious, very 

889
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:46,560
self sabotaging relationships. 
Why love anything? 

890
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:50,240
I believe that the only true 
thing that actually helps us 

891
00:46:50,240 --> 00:46:53,360
heal is love, love and intimacy 
with other people. 

892
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:59,760
And so now we transition into 
her where she says that and she 

893
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:02,560
is trying to impress everyone 
and she is working really hard 

894
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:04,640
and she is trying to prove 
something and she's talking 

895
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:10,600
really fast because she wants to
get it all out and that she's 

896
00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:14,640
afraid to be rejected and that 
she has a Bunny complex. 

897
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:16,320
So maybe like bunnies are like 
cool as shit. 

898
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:17,680
I don't know. 
Maybe they're like they do 

899
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:18,560
highly intelligent, I don't 
know. 

900
00:47:18,560 --> 00:47:21,040
But she has like this complex. 
So maybe her family gave her 

901
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:22,720
that complex. 
Maybe her people give her her 

902
00:47:22,720 --> 00:47:24,200
that complex. 
Maybe it's her gender. 

903
00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:27,440
Maybe it's like the complexes 
that we give a lot of folks that

904
00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:28,960
are supposed to be like the good
minority. 

905
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:31,680
So like a lot of Asian folks 
maybe that they're affluent 

906
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:34,160
white family. 
And so it's this Bunny complex. 

907
00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:36,320
I thought of like a Karen. 
She feels like a white lady in 

908
00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:40,160
this one, a caring complex or 
like a over caring like white 

909
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:41,880
woman that you know, wants to 
save everyone. 

910
00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:43,800
It's like, calm down, girl. 
I'm like, you're not the fucking

911
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:45,920
savior. 
So maybe she has that complex 

912
00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:48,200
that that's who she needs to be 
and that's ingrained in her head

913
00:47:48,560 --> 00:47:50,520
and that's awesome. 
Maybe that's the dream, but also

914
00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:52,160
make sure that you understand 
what that is. 

915
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:55,280
She does, but she also allows it
to get in the way of. 

916
00:47:55,280 --> 00:48:00,760
Things which can be dangerous. 
So I thought that was like 

917
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:04,320
really cool for them to point 
out and then she. 

918
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:06,400
Starts getting more emotional 
about how much she cares for him

919
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:09,680
and how much she likes him 
because he grounds her. 

920
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:12,120
He makes her a little bit more 
calm, a little bit more chill 

921
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:17,600
that maybe she does need a herd 
of like bunnies. 

922
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:21,000
I thought a lot of my neural 
divergent clients with all their

923
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:24,280
teddy bears, including me or all
my nerdy shit, like you just 

924
00:48:24,280 --> 00:48:25,720
need them. 
You need them. 

925
00:48:25,720 --> 00:48:27,960
It's like very regulatory to 
have them. 

926
00:48:28,520 --> 00:48:30,720
And so maybe she needs all these
fucking emotional support 

927
00:48:30,720 --> 00:48:34,040
animals, AKA the stuffed animals
or regular ones. 

928
00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:37,880
And then she says like you are 
my pack. 

929
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:41,760
He's never had a pack. 
So to say that her to say that 

930
00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:44,400
to him is very deep, very 
emotional for him but also for 

931
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:48,000
her, 'cause now you're admitting
the emotional vulnerability, the

932
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:52,120
love, the care that I need you. 
I enjoy being with you. 

933
00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:56,680
I, I'm a better person with you.
And so now that's scary because 

934
00:48:56,680 --> 00:48:58,960
what if they reject it? 
What if they don't want it? 

935
00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:04,040
What if they tell you that you 
don't mean as much to them? 

936
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:10,120
What if you're rejected just 
like the other people that you 

937
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:12,160
loved, that were supposed to 
protect you and care for you, 

938
00:49:12,160 --> 00:49:14,800
end up rejecting you. 
And so that's why it's hard to 

939
00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:16,920
open up. 
And that's why I feel like she's

940
00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:18,680
continuously trying to prove 
herself. 

941
00:49:18,680 --> 00:49:20,560
And I feel like many of you are 
as well, too. 

942
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:24,840
Me as well. 
And so then she says, you are my

943
00:49:24,840 --> 00:49:29,080
fluffle. 
Fluffle, yes, where it's like a 

944
00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:35,880
herd of bunnies. 
So the intimacy is what heals 

945
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:37,400
them both. 
But they have to go through the 

946
00:49:37,400 --> 00:49:39,240
trials and tribulations to trust
each other. 

947
00:49:39,240 --> 00:49:41,600
But then again, they can't fully
be vulnerable or real with each 

948
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:43,160
other. 
But they're allowing their 

949
00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:46,560
traumas, the things that have 
affected them throughout life, 

950
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:50,120
that have molded them, to 
pervert the way that they walk 

951
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:52,040
through the world and how they 
connect with each other and 

952
00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:55,280
other people. 
So This is why people go to 

953
00:49:55,280 --> 00:50:00,200
therapy. 
I don't think everyone needs to 

954
00:50:00,200 --> 00:50:01,960
go to therapy. 
Some of us can't afford it. 

955
00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:05,680
Some of us have people already 
mentoring us, guiding us, 

956
00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:09,040
tutoring us. 
Some of us nor divergent asses 

957
00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:12,080
are already doing a million 
introspective fucking things a 

958
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:13,640
day. 
And so we already know all the 

959
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:15,920
nooks and crannies and therapy 
is fantastic. 

960
00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:19,840
But maybe that is not for you. 
But if you can afford it and you

961
00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:22,040
have privilege enough to do it, 
I'll fucking give it a shot. 

962
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:24,840
Or maybe you're worried about 
finding the wrong person or the 

963
00:50:24,840 --> 00:50:26,120
right person. 
Well, yeah, it's tough 

964
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:27,640
sometimes. 
And you'll try out a couple and 

965
00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:29,800
you kind of see how it goes and 
you'll feel the vibe, you know, 

966
00:50:29,800 --> 00:50:32,200
do little phone calls and you'll
check the reviews and you just 

967
00:50:32,200 --> 00:50:35,960
kind of figure it out. 
Kind of like speed dating. 

968
00:50:36,760 --> 00:50:38,720
Just kind of figure the shit out
and then see if it sticks. 

969
00:50:38,720 --> 00:50:41,520
And then you go from there. 
The biggest thing I want people 

970
00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:43,600
to pay attention to, like when 
they're picking a therapist or 

971
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:45,080
doctor, anyone is do they 
listen? 

972
00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:48,920
Are they paying attention? 
Do they remember this stuff? 

973
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:51,880
And they're not just mind 
fucking numbingly like nodding. 

974
00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:54,680
Do they remember things? 
Do you remember your name, major

975
00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:59,200
occupation, friends, certain 
picadillos about you, how 

976
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:01,400
they're non verbals? 
Do you need them? 

977
00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:06,200
A lot of folks do It depends. 
Remember the first session is 

978
00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:08,280
always you talking a shit ton. 
The therapist kind of just 

979
00:51:08,280 --> 00:51:09,920
taking in information. 
It's always how it is. 

980
00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:11,560
So don't judge it off. 
The first session I would ever 

981
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:13,240
say give it three, try to give 
it 3. 

982
00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:18,240
So again, intimacy. 
I'm getting away from the 

983
00:51:18,240 --> 00:51:20,880
therapy talk. 
I think that's the biggest thing

984
00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:23,960
that I liked about this as you 
see them building it in the 

985
00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:27,480
trust, you saw also see the kind
of distrust and the hurt and the

986
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:29,800
pain that kind of happens 
between the two of them and then

987
00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:32,320
how they work them way their 
ways back to each other. 

988
00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:35,000
And that's why they have this 
emotional climax at the end. 

989
00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:38,520
But I see they're very much 
coded as like one of my autistic

990
00:51:38,520 --> 00:51:40,120
girlies. 
I feel they're much coded as 

991
00:51:40,120 --> 00:51:42,920
like an obsessive compulsive 
disorder. 

992
00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:46,000
And maybe they're not like 
checking and this and that, but 

993
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:47,640
I feel like a lot of 
ruminations, a lot of 

994
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:49,040
ruminations, a lot of 
ruminations. 

995
00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:52,360
Hyper vigilant as well too. 
And so I feel like their 

996
00:51:52,360 --> 00:51:55,400
compulsion is the obsession is 
the overthinking. 

997
00:51:55,720 --> 00:51:59,120
So they may not have the pure 
OCD but I feel the compulsions 

998
00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:02,280
like coming through her and 
needing things in a certain way 

999
00:52:02,280 --> 00:52:04,720
and I feel like that causes her 
nervous system to deregulate. 

1000
00:52:04,720 --> 00:52:06,600
So it feels very autistic coded 
to me. 

1001
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:09,480
He feels like he could be that 
as well too, but very much more 

1002
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:13,040
on the ADHD side and then like 
the PTSD side. 

1003
00:52:14,360 --> 00:52:16,520
So I think it's a really good 
breakdown in that hopefully that

1004
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:20,960
you 2 can see those things and 
you can use this film to go back

1005
00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:23,960
and rewatch and then kind of 
analyze yourself through their 

1006
00:52:23,960 --> 00:52:27,400
personalities and through their 
relationships and then do your 

1007
00:52:27,400 --> 00:52:34,120
best to untangle those things. 
With with yourself or with your 

1008
00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:36,560
therapist. 
Or talk to your friends. 

1009
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:40,360
For those of you that are dudes,
talk to your homies. 

1010
00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:43,640
But hey man, you fucking see 
this clip that this bald headed 

1011
00:52:43,640 --> 00:52:46,080
fucking idiot talked about? 
Like what bald head dude? 

1012
00:52:46,240 --> 00:52:49,440
You send him my fucking video 
and you see this Bunny like 

1013
00:52:49,440 --> 00:52:50,840
using this as a defense 
mechanism. 

1014
00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:53,840
Or the fox. 
Using this because he's like 

1015
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:55,440
traumatizing, like, yeah man, 
it's funny. 

1016
00:52:55,720 --> 00:52:58,160
You can talk about these things.
You can share these reels and 

1017
00:52:58,160 --> 00:53:01,080
things with folks. 
I would advise you to talk to 

1018
00:53:01,080 --> 00:53:04,600
other people about this, 
specifically those three scenes 

1019
00:53:04,600 --> 00:53:07,240
if you want to talk about the 
movie in. 

1020
00:53:07,240 --> 00:53:10,280
General and you know, colonizing
all that, you can do that too. 

1021
00:53:11,720 --> 00:53:13,760
And the genocide, because that's
what we're doing. 

1022
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:17,400
Ethnic fucking cleansing of this
entire population sounds a lot. 

1023
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:24,600
Like what they're doing in 
Palestine, just taking over the 

1024
00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:27,200
entire fucking place and calling
it theirs. 

1025
00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:31,760
Interesting, interesting, 
interesting, interesting. 

1026
00:53:34,960 --> 00:53:40,720
So things to pay attention to. 
I thought it was a fantastic 

1027
00:53:40,720 --> 00:53:42,360
movie. 
I can't wait to get to a ton 

1028
00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:44,520
more movies. 
Now that I have like the control

1029
00:53:44,520 --> 00:53:46,400
of the pod. 
There's a lot of things that I 

1030
00:53:46,400 --> 00:53:48,800
want to get into. 
I think next I do want to talk 

1031
00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:55,360
about some stuff from Anaconda. 
There is a million other things.

1032
00:53:55,360 --> 00:53:57,040
There's a Dolph Maul series that
I want to get to. 

1033
00:53:57,040 --> 00:53:58,600
There's the one piece that I 
want to get to. 

1034
00:53:58,920 --> 00:54:01,880
There's some movies and shows 
that my friends and clients have

1035
00:54:01,880 --> 00:54:03,160
recommended. 
So I want to get to all my 

1036
00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:05,320
clients recommendations. 
So I'm going to get to that. 

1037
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:07,880
Plus I got to get back to 
shrinking from Apple TV 

1038
00:54:07,880 --> 00:54:10,120
severance. 
I want to do some Abbott 

1039
00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:13,040
Elementary stuff. 
We got a lot shit to get to 

1040
00:54:13,040 --> 00:54:14,520
y'all. 
I'm really excited. 

1041
00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:16,720
And now I'll go back and do some
old school like, you know, 

1042
00:54:16,720 --> 00:54:18,520
cartoons I used to watch. 
I want to do a little bit of 

1043
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:21,120
fucking rock power, a little bit
of Rugrats, have some fun with 

1044
00:54:21,120 --> 00:54:24,560
that. 
And then I got a bunch of guests

1045
00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:26,480
that are waiting. 
I can't wait to talk to all the 

1046
00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:28,400
girlies and bring them back and 
I can't wait to have some of the

1047
00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:30,600
dudes. 
A lot of returning guests, a lot

1048
00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:32,080
of new guests. 
Really excited to talk to the 

1049
00:54:32,080 --> 00:54:35,600
Bob Berger podcast. 
It's pretty huge and like just 

1050
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:39,320
keep it rocking and rolling. 
So this is kind of the 

1051
00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:41,480
breakdown. 
I'm trying to help y'all heal 

1052
00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:44,000
through these characters to see 
the nuances. 

1053
00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:49,200
Do your best to understand that 
you don't have to repeat the 

1054
00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:51,600
cycles in the generational 
traumas. 

1055
00:54:52,240 --> 00:54:55,480
You can be more, you can be 
bigger, you can be louder. 

1056
00:54:56,040 --> 00:55:03,360
You can be magnificently more 
than what you were trained or 

1057
00:55:03,360 --> 00:55:06,720
destined to be because of where 
or who you grew up with. 

1058
00:55:07,880 --> 00:55:12,880
Find the safe pockets. 
Demand respect if you can, 

1059
00:55:12,880 --> 00:55:14,440
specifically in the professional
setting. 

1060
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:17,560
Find mentorship if you can find 
it at the end those. 

1061
00:55:17,560 --> 00:55:20,160
Settings doesn't matter what 
group is LGBTQ folks. 

1062
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:23,240
If it's women, if it's dudes, if
it's folks of color, find it. 

1063
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:25,960
If you need a therapist that 
represents some of those 

1064
00:55:25,960 --> 00:55:28,840
identities to help push you in 
new through those nuances, do 

1065
00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:34,600
it. 
A lot of yourselves to be 

1066
00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:36,280
vulnerable. 
I know that's terrifying to 

1067
00:55:36,280 --> 00:55:39,480
fucking say, but otherwise 
you're just stuck in your room 

1068
00:55:39,480 --> 00:55:43,560
listening to my dumbass and I 
will chat with y'all, vibe with 

1069
00:55:43,560 --> 00:55:46,600
y'all until I can't deal these 
pods anymore. 

1070
00:55:47,040 --> 00:55:49,120
But I'll do my best to continue 
cranking those out. 

1071
00:55:50,520 --> 00:55:54,200
Again, Much much appreciation 
and love for paying attention to

1072
00:55:54,200 --> 00:55:56,640
me, the good cohort of folks 
that are still vibing and 

1073
00:55:56,640 --> 00:56:01,160
rocking when we fucking with it.
Hopefully this is beneficial. 

1074
00:56:03,120 --> 00:56:05,400
I got some other stuff I wanted 
to talk about, personal stuff. 

1075
00:56:05,400 --> 00:56:07,000
I'm going to hold that for the 
next spot. 

1076
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:08,520
This one actually went longer 
than what I. 

1077
00:56:08,520 --> 00:56:11,320
Thought it would. 
So in that. 

1078
00:56:13,680 --> 00:56:15,880
Remember the resources that we 
have, the therapist that we have

1079
00:56:15,880 --> 00:56:17,960
suggested in the Linktree, 
Remember all the worksheets that

1080
00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:19,320
I have. 
Remember all that stuff is free.

1081
00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:22,520
The worksheets, the assessments,
it's all free. 

1082
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:24,640
Check it. 
All out use the stuff, do your 

1083
00:56:24,640 --> 00:56:27,080
thing. 
Much love and appreciation. 

1084
00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:29,080
This is different spectrums 
podcast. 

1085
00:56:29,560 --> 00:56:31,760
I'm Doctor Nas, licensed 
clinical therapist, doctor and 

1086
00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:35,160
social work. 
Take care of yourselves and if 

1087
00:56:35,160 --> 00:56:38,440
you don't, that's OK. 
We'll get you that one day 

1088
00:56:38,440 --> 00:56:39,920
homie. 
Peace.