1
00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:17,800
If you like Worth the wait and 
you enjoy our dating hot takes 

2
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:22,080
and pop culture analysis, head 
over to patreon.com/date Ology 

3
00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:25,920
Coach and become a subscriber. 
Subscribers unlock the full 

4
00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:30,320
experience, full episodes, deep 
dives, no ads, and the real talk

5
00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:31,920
you're not going to hear 
anywhere else. 

6
00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:36,800
Make sure to follow us at 
patreon.com/dateology Coach and 

7
00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:39,760
subscribe and don't forget to 
follow us on social media. 

8
00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:42,840
You can follow us on Instagram 
at Dateology Pod and you can 

9
00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:47,080
follow me on TikTok at Dateology
Coach and my character analysis.

10
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:52,600
Enjoy the episode. 
She betrayed her own brand and 

11
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:58,160
she misled because she is 
essentially a business. 

12
00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:01,640
She's a brand. 
She misled a lot. 

13
00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:06,600
She misled a lot of people by 
not telling them how she lost 

14
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:11,880
the weight. 
Well, I would argue that all 

15
00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:14,360
influencers mislead people. 
That's their whole draft. 

16
00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:17,960
Right, right, right. 
Because before before she had 

17
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:26,040
this Sadie surgery, wasn't she 
Hawking like supplements and. 

18
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:30,920
Yes. 
Various weight loss, either like

19
00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:36,440
weight loss solutions or like, I
don't know what you'd call like 

20
00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:39,800
Spanx like, you know, that 
doesn't make you lose weight, 

21
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:43,720
but it's like a slimming 
garment, right? 

22
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:47,280
I mean, she's so like you said 
it, you know, the signs were 

23
00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:50,840
there all along that she was 
like thrilled to be in that 

24
00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:51,840
body. 
Right. 

25
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,800
And I was listening to a creator
last name called named Francesca

26
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:57,160
Ramsey, who I really, really 
love and. 

27
00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,200
She felt like I like. 
Her, I love her and she was 

28
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:04,440
talking about branding and she 
said, you know, when one of the 

29
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:06,600
things she learned was when 
you're developing a brand, you 

30
00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:07,960
have to come up with these sort 
of three. 

31
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:11,600
What are the three words you 
would use to describe your 

32
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:15,080
brand? 
Figure out what those are and 

33
00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:18,320
then don't betray them. 
Stay authentic to them. 

34
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:23,400
And she said that was that was 
the mistake she made because one

35
00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:30,920
of her one of like her brand was
supposedly based on honesty, you

36
00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:33,200
know, being being honest and 
being real. 

37
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:37,160
And she essentially might most 
people say she didn't. 

38
00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:41,120
It wasn't. 
Essentially she lied to her, 

39
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:44,120
following the people that helped
her build this platform. 

40
00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:51,320
How much of that do you think is
her own doing versus people 

41
00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:54,680
being weird about parasocial 
relationships on the Internet? 

42
00:02:55,200 --> 00:03:00,800
Because as you said, she could 
do what she wants with her body.

43
00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,160
She doesn't owe us anything, 
right? 

44
00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:09,720
She, she doesn't owe us being 
this figurehead for fat women, 

45
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,080
right? 
And the fact that people are 

46
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:18,400
claiming that now she's being 
disingenuous and dishonest. 

47
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,480
Like why does she owe us 
honesty? 

48
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:27,120
Why do we feel she owed us a 
disclosure prior to the surgery?

49
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:33,120
Listen, OK, OK, I'm thinking, I 
think. 

50
00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:34,920
It comes down to the branding, 
right? 

51
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:41,360
It's the it's the paradox of the
influencer, right? 

52
00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:45,480
Because to be a successful 
influencer you have to convey 

53
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:48,560
authenticity while being fake as
fuck. 

54
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:50,720
Right. 
That's how you make money. 

55
00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:55,160
Yes. 
And I, I can see people saying, 

56
00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:57,800
I can understand where they come
from and they say, well, she was

57
00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:00,120
selling a lot of products and 
she was pushing a sort of 

58
00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:04,000
certain narrative that she knew 
was not true. 

59
00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:08,240
And she was trying to make 
people think that she was losing

60
00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:10,640
this weight from some of these 
products, these supplements that

61
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:14,160
she was selling, etcetera. 
But then I think about Eva 

62
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:20,480
Longoria and how she is a 
spokesperson for L'Oreal hair 

63
00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:23,360
color. 
You don't really think Eva 

64
00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:27,040
Longoria uses box coloring, do 
you? 

65
00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:30,640
Kristen, I do not. 
I do not right. 

66
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:37,520
So there are there are things 
where we we accept this this 

67
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:41,360
inconsistency or we accept this 
duplicity. 

68
00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:44,240
Right. 
It's, I think I just coined this

69
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,280
term. 
It's the paradox of the 

70
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,720
influencer, right? 
And that's why it's been so 

71
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:52,880
effective at advertising, 
because we don't perceive it as 

72
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:55,540
advertising. 
But because they're quote UN 

73
00:04:55,540 --> 00:04:58,120
quote real people. 
Right, point blank, period. 

74
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,480
This is advertising. 
You don't know them. 

75
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:12,760
Yeah, yeah, I, I'm torn on this 
one because I feel as though if 

76
00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:19,320
you're going to sell a product, 
you have a responsibility to be 

77
00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:23,240
transparent. 
That's that's my feeling. 

78
00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:26,440
If you're going to ask people to
spend money on you and on things

79
00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:30,840
that you're selling based on 
this narrative, this fabricated 

80
00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:35,200
narrative, to me, that's that's 
deceptive. 

81
00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:37,400
Well, Crystal. 
I think we've established that 

82
00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:43,000
you have a a different moral bar
than most Internet people. 

83
00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:44,440
Maybe. 
Maybe. 

84
00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:50,800
I mean, we haven't even like 
address how funny it is that 

85
00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:55,000
Remy Bader came clean about all 
this on a Kardashian podcast. 

86
00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:57,920
Right. 
I mean, how on the nose can you 

87
00:05:57,920 --> 00:05:59,280
be? 
Right. 

88
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:04,360
I just, yeah. 
Like who is more responsible for

89
00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:07,360
women hating themselves than 
that family right now? 

90
00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:08,840
Right. 
I know. 

91
00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:12,840
And that was the other complaint
too, was how she monetized this 

92
00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:15,080
deception. 
Yep. 

93
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:19,240
But of course she did, because 
that's what influencers do. 

94
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:25,160
Right. 
So we either are going to 

95
00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:29,640
embrace influencer culture or 
we're going or, or, or it needs 

96
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:35,160
to or we or we need to change 
our expectations and look at 

97
00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:39,920
them the way we would look at an
Eva Longoria where we know 

98
00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:40,880
killing for. 
L'Oreal. 

99
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:42,720
Right. 
Shilling L'Oreal. 

100
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:47,680
We know she's not using L'Oreal.
We know it, but we don't care. 

101
00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:50,760
We'd still buy it. 
And I can assure you what 

102
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:54,160
they're doing to color her hair.
Ain't that stuff in the box, You

103
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,760
know, for the commercial. 
We know that too. 

104
00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:02,760
We know that too. 
So it's interesting to me how we

105
00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:08,600
can we can make excuses for 
that, but not for a situation 

106
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:13,000
like Remy Bader. 
I mean the only people I really 

107
00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:18,480
feel I guess sorry for about 
this this whole roomy Bader 

108
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:25,400
situation is younger girls. 
I know, but I dude, I know, I 

109
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,520
understand. 
But I think that there were a 

110
00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:34,360
lot of people who looked at her 
and who accepted themselves 

111
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:38,320
more, right? 
They saw themselves, they saw 

112
00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:42,960
representation and so. 
Why? 

113
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,480
I think so, too. 
And like I said in in my mind, 

114
00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:49,160
you know, if you're if you're 15
or under, like, and you're 

115
00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,680
disappointed and Remy Bader now,
like, I get it. 

116
00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:54,680
It's just, you know, the adult 
women. 

117
00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:57,120
Yeah. 
For for. 

118
00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,200
I know it really comes down to 
this. 

119
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,840
Kristen here. 
Here's what it all you could 

120
00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:09,520
distill this whole upheaval down
to body positivity is all well 

121
00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:12,160
and good, but nobody wants to be
a trailblazer. 

122
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,120
Nobody wants to be fat alone, 
right? 

123
00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:18,480
It's much. 
It's much easier to be body 

124
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:23,320
positive when you're not the 
only one. 

125
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:25,360
Well. 
What about Ashley Graham? 

126
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:31,960
What about Ashley Graham? 
I think she's very body positive

127
00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:36,240
and I think she loves her body. 
I haven't really seen or heard 

128
00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:39,480
anything from her in several 
years, but I remember that to be

129
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,760
true. 
Yes, and I haven't seen anything

130
00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:44,760
where she's she's lost any 
weight. 

131
00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:48,080
She's she's stayed as is. 
Now that doesn't mean she might 

132
00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:51,720
not in the future, but I think 
she is one of those people that 

133
00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:53,320
you like. 
I think young girls should 

134
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:59,640
follow her because I I I think 
she truly loves her body. 

135
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,880
There doesn't seem to be 
anything inherently dangerous 

136
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,320
about her. 
I mean, I, I feel like it would 

137
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:09,440
be irresponsible though for us 
not to point out here that like 

138
00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:16,920
she's a plus size model meaning 
that like compared to the 

139
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:18,840
average woman. 
Yes. 

140
00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:22,640
She's still pretty small. 
But but she's also, you know, 

141
00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:25,720
she's a model and there's that 
status, right? 

142
00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:31,880
That, that there's a level of 
beauty in being a model, you 

143
00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:32,880
know, if you're a model, that 
oh. 

144
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:35,440
Yeah, the face card never 
declines for Astrogram. 

145
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:40,280
Right. 
So I, I, I'm, I understand why 

146
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:43,400
people are disappointed in Remy,
and I understand why people are 

147
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:47,080
upset. 
I think she was deceptive. 

148
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:51,600
I, I, I just I, I, I think she's
a bone. 

149
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:55,520
I think it's all related to to 
GOP ones. 

150
00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:59,800
Don't you like the tide is 
turning here clear like very 

151
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:03,640
clearly, yes, like we, we tried 
by activity. 

152
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:08,480
It kind of took off, but then as
soon as it was an option not to 

153
00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:10,680
be. 
Right people are like bye see 

154
00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:13,320
ya. 
Most of us were like, well, love

155
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:16,640
that for you, but I don't want 
to be fat. 

156
00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:18,360
I agree. 
I agree. 

157
00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:21,640
I think we have sort of is, I 
don't know if we is turned a 

158
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:26,400
corner is the right word, but we
have turned this corner where. 

159
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,400
We're. 
We're going backwards. 

160
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:32,000
We're going backwards for. 
Sure. 

161
00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:35,680
Right, because like you said, 
we've been given this method 

162
00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:40,280
that is quote UN quote, easy to 
do or just just a method. 

163
00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:42,320
Right. 
Just an option, right? 

164
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:45,120
Just an option. 
As close to foolproof as we 

165
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:47,400
have. 
Right, right. 

166
00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:50,800
And people are saying, yeah, I'm
going to do that then. 

167
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:53,800
Right. 
Yeah, yeah. 

168
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:59,960
What we, we really have taken 10
steps back in terms of the the 

169
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,760
body positivity movement, I 
think. 

170
00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:06,160
But again, like obviously we're 
both on it. 

171
00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:09,240
I know. 
We're both taking these steps. 

172
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:11,000
Right. 
But we're being transparent. 

173
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:16,280
About this so I like I'm I'm not
mad at Romy Vader. 

174
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:21,920
I I just, I mean I get it like. 
I do get it. 

175
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:25,440
It just, it the whole thing 
really to me, like really just 

176
00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:28,880
clarify. 
Like we, we just weren't 

177
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:32,040
entirely truthful about what we 
meant when we were talking about

178
00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:35,480
body positivity, right? 
Because what we really meant was

179
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:40,280
love that for you, not for me. 
Yeah, I agree with that. 

180
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:43,280
I do. 
And I'm not. 

181
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:48,440
I'm not mad at Remy Bader either
because I don't like I don't 

182
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:52,440
invest in these influencers 
because I've I've been a public 

183
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:57,240
persona for so long. 
But I understand the women who 

184
00:11:57,280 --> 00:12:00,880
are angry and and who are hurt 
or feel betrayed. 

185
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:03,600
I understand, especially when so
many people would be in the 

186
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,480
comments and be like, girl, are 
you on Ozempic? 

187
00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:07,680
Block girl, what are you doing 
to lose weight? 

188
00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:09,640
Block. 
She's just blocking people. 

189
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:12,000
That's bullshit. 
That's bullshit. 

190
00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:15,120
If you don't want to answer 
these questions, you think 

191
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:18,840
people are just going to sit 
back and, and and not notice, 

192
00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,320
and then you're not going to. 
If they ask a question you're 

193
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:27,080
not going to answer them 
honestly then then what do you 

194
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,600
have a platform for? 
That was kind of bananas. 

195
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,840
Like, if she wasn't ready to 
talk about it, she should have 

196
00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:34,800
just taken a break from the 
Internet, you know what I mean? 

197
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:38,000
Like she should have just 
resurfaced as a thin person. 

198
00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:40,360
Right. 
Like Kelly Osbourne. 

199
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:44,840
Right. 
So I don't think she handled it 

200
00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:49,400
in the best way, but I do hope 
that we can learn from this. 

201
00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:54,040
And, and I think the lesson for 
me is I think transparency will 

202
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:58,200
always, transparency is always 
the way to go. 

203
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:02,640
And being authentic. 
I, I just, I don't think you can

204
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:08,000
fail by being authentic. 
Am I crazy to me? 

205
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,560
This whole thing is just 
depressing because it's like 

206
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:13,720
authenticity. 
That road just leads us back to 

207
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:17,760
like, deep down, we all want to 
be thin. 

208
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:21,320
We all just want to be thin, as 
thin as possible. 

209
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,400
We want to. 
Waste away. 

210
00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:30,600
Yeah, but not just about that, 
but the authenticity of I want 

211
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:35,920
to love my body and I don't. 
Well, right, because you only 

212
00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:40,000
get permission to do that when 
you look a certain way. 

213
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:44,320
Yeah, yeah, it's, it's a very. 
It's depressing. 

214
00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:48,640
It's and, but here I am in it. 
Yes, Yep. 

215
00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:51,000
I'm not fighting it. 
I'm not. 

216
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:54,360
I'm not being a trailblazer. 
Right, right. 

217
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:57,520
It's a very layered 
conversation, I think, and. 

218
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:00,560
That's what the pod's for. 
That's. 

219
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:04,440
The pod's for all, right? 
Follow us on Instagram at 

220
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:07,760
datologypod. 
If you have any questions, 

221
00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:11,760
dating or otherwise, send them 
to hello@datologycoach.com. 

222
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:18,960
Follow me on Instagram at the 
Kristen MTHECHRISTANM and make 

223
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:23,840
sure to follow me on YouTube and
TikTok at didology coach and my 

224
00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:28,040
character analysis. 
All right, my bog, which is 

225
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:32,520
thanks for listening. 
Value your time, Sarah. 

226
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:37,440
Any final words? 
Influencers are liars, OK? 

227
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:42,520
All right, there we go. 
We're signing off Bye. 

228
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:43,240
Bye.