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Enjoy the episode. She betrayed her own brand and
she misled because she is essentially a business.
She's a brand. She misled a lot.
She misled a lot of people by not telling them how she lost
the weight. Well, I would argue that all
influencers mislead people. That's their whole draft.
Right, right, right. Because before before she had
this Sadie surgery, wasn't she Hawking like supplements and.
Yes. Various weight loss, either like
weight loss solutions or like, I don't know what you'd call like
Spanx like, you know, that doesn't make you lose weight,
but it's like a slimming garment, right?
I mean, she's so like you said it, you know, the signs were
there all along that she was like thrilled to be in that
body. Right.
And I was listening to a creator last name called named Francesca
Ramsey, who I really, really love and.
She felt like I like. Her, I love her and she was
talking about branding and she said, you know, when one of the
things she learned was when you're developing a brand, you
have to come up with these sort of three.
What are the three words you would use to describe your
brand? Figure out what those are and
then don't betray them. Stay authentic to them.
And she said that was that was the mistake she made because one
of her one of like her brand was supposedly based on honesty, you
know, being being honest and being real.
And she essentially might most people say she didn't.
It wasn't. Essentially she lied to her,
following the people that helped her build this platform.
How much of that do you think is her own doing versus people
being weird about parasocial relationships on the Internet?
Because as you said, she could do what she wants with her body.
She doesn't owe us anything, right?
She, she doesn't owe us being this figurehead for fat women,
right? And the fact that people are
claiming that now she's being disingenuous and dishonest.
Like why does she owe us honesty?
Why do we feel she owed us a disclosure prior to the surgery?
Listen, OK, OK, I'm thinking, I think.
It comes down to the branding, right?
It's the it's the paradox of the influencer, right?
Because to be a successful influencer you have to convey
authenticity while being fake as fuck.
Right. That's how you make money.
Yes. And I, I can see people saying,
I can understand where they come from and they say, well, she was
selling a lot of products and she was pushing a sort of
certain narrative that she knew was not true.
And she was trying to make people think that she was losing
this weight from some of these products, these supplements that
she was selling, etcetera. But then I think about Eva
Longoria and how she is a spokesperson for L'Oreal hair
color. You don't really think Eva
Longoria uses box coloring, do you?
Kristen, I do not. I do not right.
So there are there are things where we we accept this this
inconsistency or we accept this duplicity.
Right. It's, I think I just coined this
term. It's the paradox of the
influencer, right? And that's why it's been so
effective at advertising, because we don't perceive it as
advertising. But because they're quote UN
quote real people. Right, point blank, period.
This is advertising. You don't know them.
Yeah, yeah, I, I'm torn on this one because I feel as though if
you're going to sell a product, you have a responsibility to be
transparent. That's that's my feeling.
If you're going to ask people to spend money on you and on things
that you're selling based on this narrative, this fabricated
narrative, to me, that's that's deceptive.
Well, Crystal. I think we've established that
you have a a different moral bar than most Internet people.
Maybe. Maybe.
I mean, we haven't even like address how funny it is that
Remy Bader came clean about all this on a Kardashian podcast.
Right. I mean, how on the nose can you
be? Right.
I just, yeah. Like who is more responsible for
women hating themselves than that family right now?
Right. I know.
And that was the other complaint too, was how she monetized this
deception. Yep.
But of course she did, because that's what influencers do.
Right. So we either are going to
embrace influencer culture or we're going or, or, or it needs
to or we or we need to change our expectations and look at
them the way we would look at an Eva Longoria where we know
killing for. L'Oreal.
Right. Shilling L'Oreal.
We know she's not using L'Oreal. We know it, but we don't care.
We'd still buy it. And I can assure you what
they're doing to color her hair. Ain't that stuff in the box, You
know, for the commercial. We know that too.
So it's interesting to me how we
can we can make excuses for that, but not for a situation
like Remy Bader. I mean the only people I really
feel I guess sorry for about this this whole roomy Bader
situation is younger girls. I know, but I dude, I know, I
understand. But I think that there were a
lot of people who looked at her and who accepted themselves
more, right? They saw themselves, they saw
representation and so. Why?
I think so, too. And like I said in in my mind,
you know, if you're if you're 15 or under, like, and you're
disappointed and Remy Bader now, like, I get it.
It's just, you know, the adult women.
Yeah. For for.
I know it really comes down to this.
Kristen here. Here's what it all you could
distill this whole upheaval down to body positivity is all well
and good, but nobody wants to be a trailblazer.
Nobody wants to be fat alone, right?
It's much. It's much easier to be body
positive when you're not the only one.
Well. What about Ashley Graham?
I think she's very body positive
and I think she loves her body. I haven't really seen or heard
anything from her in several years, but I remember that to be
true. Yes, and I haven't seen anything
where she's she's lost any weight.
She's she's stayed as is. Now that doesn't mean she might
not in the future, but I think she is one of those people that
you like. I think young girls should
follow her because I I I think she truly loves her body.
There doesn't seem to be anything inherently dangerous
about her. I mean, I, I feel like it would
be irresponsible though for us not to point out here that like
she's a plus size model meaning that like compared to the
average woman. Yes.
She's still pretty small. But but she's also, you know,
she's a model and there's that status, right?
That, that there's a level of beauty in being a model, you
know, if you're a model, that oh.
Yeah, the face card never declines for Astrogram.
Right. So I, I, I'm, I understand why
people are disappointed in Remy, and I understand why people are
upset. I think she was deceptive.
I, I, I just I, I, I think she's a bone.
I think it's all related to to GOP ones.
Don't you like the tide is turning here clear like very
clearly, yes, like we, we tried by activity.
It kind of took off, but then as soon as it was an option not to
be. Right people are like bye see
ya. Most of us were like, well, love
that for you, but I don't want to be fat.
I agree. I agree.
I think we have sort of is, I don't know if we is turned a
corner is the right word, but we have turned this corner where.
We're. We're going backwards.
We're going backwards for. Sure.
Right, because like you said, we've been given this method
that is quote UN quote, easy to do or just just a method.
Right. Just an option, right?
Just an option. As close to foolproof as we
have. Right, right.
And people are saying, yeah, I'm going to do that then.
Right. Yeah, yeah.
What we, we really have taken 10 steps back in terms of the the
body positivity movement, I think.
But again, like obviously we're both on it.
I know. We're both taking these steps.
Right. But we're being transparent.
About this so I like I'm I'm not mad at Romy Vader.
I I just, I mean I get it like. I do get it.
It just, it the whole thing really to me, like really just
clarify. Like we, we just weren't
entirely truthful about what we meant when we were talking about
body positivity, right? Because what we really meant was
love that for you, not for me. Yeah, I agree with that.
I do. And I'm not.
I'm not mad at Remy Bader either because I don't like I don't
invest in these influencers because I've I've been a public
persona for so long. But I understand the women who
are angry and and who are hurt or feel betrayed.
I understand, especially when so many people would be in the
comments and be like, girl, are you on Ozempic?
Block girl, what are you doing to lose weight?
Block. She's just blocking people.
That's bullshit. That's bullshit.
If you don't want to answer these questions, you think
people are just going to sit back and, and and not notice,
and then you're not going to. If they ask a question you're
not going to answer them honestly then then what do you
have a platform for? That was kind of bananas.
Like, if she wasn't ready to talk about it, she should have
just taken a break from the Internet, you know what I mean?
Like she should have just resurfaced as a thin person.
Right. Like Kelly Osbourne.
Right. So I don't think she handled it
in the best way, but I do hope that we can learn from this.
And, and I think the lesson for me is I think transparency will
always, transparency is always the way to go.
And being authentic. I, I just, I don't think you can
fail by being authentic. Am I crazy to me?
This whole thing is just depressing because it's like
authenticity. That road just leads us back to
like, deep down, we all want to be thin.
We all just want to be thin, as thin as possible.
We want to. Waste away.
Yeah, but not just about that, but the authenticity of I want
to love my body and I don't. Well, right, because you only
get permission to do that when you look a certain way.
Yeah, yeah, it's, it's a very. It's depressing.
It's and, but here I am in it. Yes, Yep.
I'm not fighting it. I'm not.
I'm not being a trailblazer. Right, right.
It's a very layered conversation, I think, and.
That's what the pod's for. That's.
The pod's for all, right? Follow us on Instagram at
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dating or otherwise, send them to hello@datologycoach.com.
Follow me on Instagram at the Kristen MTHECHRISTANM and make
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character analysis. All right, my bog, which is
thanks for listening. Value your time, Sarah.
Any final words? Influencers are liars, OK?
All right, there we go. We're signing off Bye.
Bye.