1
00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:05,320
All her life she assumed that my
grandmother's first husband was 

2
00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:08,440
her biological father. 
My grandmother remarried by this

3
00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:11,800
time, so the person I knew is 
grandpa I knew was my 

4
00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:14,720
grandmother's second husband. 
But it's all an identity thing I

5
00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:19,840
was afraid of. 
And I known that my mom's older 

6
00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:23,000
siblings have been keeping the 
secret from her right? 

7
00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:27,320
So I know if they're unwilling 
to tell her the truth, this was 

8
00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:33,680
going to be a big revelation. 
And I, I was afraid how my mom 

9
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:37,600
was going to respond to the 
news, like emotionally, 

10
00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,480
everything. 
Welcome to DNA Surprises, a 

11
00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:43,880
podcast that delves into the 
world of unexpected DNA 

12
00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:47,480
discoveries. 
I'm your host, Alexis ourselves.

13
00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:53,520
In July 2021, my life took a 
surprising turn when I found out

14
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:58,360
that I'm an NPE, a person who 
has experienced a non paternal 

15
00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:01,680
event. 
In other words, my biological 

16
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:03,960
father isn't who I thought he 
was. 

17
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:09,720
Join me as we explore the 
stories of NP, ES, adoptees and 

18
00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:12,240
donor conceived people and their
families. 

19
00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:16,240
Get ready to unravel the 
astonishing journeys that begin 

20
00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:21,560
with a simple DNA test. 
This is DNA surprises. 

21
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:27,800
At the end of every episode, I 
ask my guests 2 questions. 

22
00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:32,560
The first question is advice for
parents who may be keeping adna 

23
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:38,680
surprise from their children. 
Most of the time, like 99% of 

24
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:43,680
the time, the advice is to tell.
To tell because people have the 

25
00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:48,360
right to know because trust in 
your parents is important. 

26
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:53,640
To tell because eventually, 
maybe generations down the line,

27
00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:59,560
the truth will come out. 
In this week's episode, Oscar 

28
00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:03,360
shares his story of what happens
when the child of an NPE 

29
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:08,800
uncovers Adna surprise. 
He shares why he struggled with 

30
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:13,000
telling his mom, what he learned
about his family, and where 

31
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,720
things stand today. 
Thank you for sharing your 

32
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:20,000
story, Oscar. 
My name is Oscar. 

33
00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:24,240
I'm almost 50 and I live in 
Philadelphia. 

34
00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:28,640
My DNA surprise story was 
something I wasn't looking for. 

35
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,520
I was having a conversation with
my mom. 

36
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:35,200
We were talking about my dad's 
family and her family, and she 

37
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:39,360
had mentioned that she always 
thought that she came from just 

38
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:44,480
these humble roots and there 
wasn't much to her story, to her

39
00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:48,320
family story. 
And she was comparing herself to

40
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:51,480
my dad's family. 
My dad's family was very 

41
00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:55,480
different in the sense that they
come from the city. 

42
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:59,600
They're very educated. 
If you ever seen the movie Roma 

43
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,600
that takes place in Mexico City,
they're very much like that 

44
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:06,960
where they had help. 
So anyway, my mom was, I don't 

45
00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:09,640
know if it's like a hint of 
jealousy maybe when she was 

46
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:13,000
comparing our family on her side
to my father's side. 

47
00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:18,040
And so I told her, well, you 
know, I'm into history. 

48
00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:20,560
That's my background. 
I have a degree in history. 

49
00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:22,520
So it's a very much of interest 
of mine. 

50
00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:27,560
So it's like, mom, there's got 
to be more to that side of our 

51
00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:29,280
family, to your side of our 
family. 

52
00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:32,680
I know that your grandfather, my
great grandfather fought in the 

53
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:35,840
Mexican Revolution. 
He was very active in 

54
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:38,560
northeastern Mexico. 
There has to be something more 

55
00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:42,840
to our family, right? 
And the reason to didn't think 

56
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:46,320
there was more to our family 
because her memory starts after 

57
00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:50,480
my grandmother's widowed and 
they're no longer on a family 

58
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,520
farm. 
They're kind of displaced. 

59
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,800
They're in Texas after my 
grandmother left Mexico. 

60
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:59,080
And they're essentially migrant 
workers, like working for other 

61
00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:00,440
people. 
That's the story. 

62
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:05,120
She knows, right? 
My mom never knew her father. 

63
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:11,080
She never knew him because he 
the story was that he died 

64
00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,360
before she had memories. 
There's no memories of him. 

65
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:16,680
There are also no pictures of 
him. 

66
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:20,760
I spent a lot of time with my 
grandmother and she never talked

67
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:24,160
about him. 
He was kind of ghostly figure, 

68
00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:27,000
right? 
He knew the name, but there was 

69
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,080
no evidence that he really 
existed. 

70
00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:33,120
Was it something that she was 
really interested in and curious

71
00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:34,680
about, or did she kind of just 
accept? 

72
00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:37,480
100% yeah. 
She was curious and I was 

73
00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:40,240
curious too. 
Right, 'cause I spent lots of 

74
00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:43,000
time, my grandmother and I never
had conversations about well, 

75
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,760
what was my grandfather like or 
anything like never had any of 

76
00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:48,360
those conversations. 
And so I was like, well, there 

77
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:51,000
has to be more to our family and
I'm going to look into it. 

78
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:54,640
I had no idea what I was going 
to discover, which was adna 

79
00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:57,360
surprise. 
That was never my intention. 

80
00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:01,000
If this could be pure genealogy 
researcher and family, seeing 

81
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,960
where my grandparents were from,
where my great grandparents were

82
00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:09,120
from and etcetera, etcetera. 
So I started to put together a 

83
00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:13,000
family tree and I'm researching 
my family and I'm having a good 

84
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:16,840
time finding these primary 
documents, these church records,

85
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,600
the civil records, death, birth,
etcetera. 

86
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:23,840
And by the time I'm researching,
my grandmother had passed away. 

87
00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:27,280
So I'm happily finding all these
documents that previously 

88
00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:32,320
mentioned and I find my mom's 
birth certificate, father's 

89
00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:35,120
death record. 
I was like, look, this is a 

90
00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:37,440
Grapevine. 
Now I'm going to know what he 

91
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:40,560
died from because what I've been
told is that he died from 

92
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:43,920
cancer, and my mom thought it 
was lung cancer, but she didn't 

93
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:45,680
know. 
So I was like, well, it was 

94
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:47,600
great. 
Now I found his death record. 

95
00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:49,520
I can really know what he died 
from. 

96
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:54,000
I'm reading the birth record and
I'm looking at the year that he 

97
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:58,240
died, and the year is several 
years before my mom's born. 

98
00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:00,600
So I'm like, is there a clerical
mistake? 

99
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,480
Like you never know. 
Is there a clerical mistake? 

100
00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:05,200
This year doesn't make sense. 
It doesn't make sense. 

101
00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:09,800
How can my grandfather died for 
my mom's support, right? 

102
00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:14,760
So your first thought though is 
you're kind of assuming clerical

103
00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:19,960
error maybe from the times it's 
just poor record keeping, kind 

104
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:22,280
of, yeah. 
And it's cursive Spanish, so 

105
00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:26,200
maybe I just can't read that in 
a little bits of cursive. 

106
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,960
Maybe it's actually the right 
year, but I can't read it 

107
00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:31,320
correctly. 
I read it several times just to 

108
00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:35,160
make sure that what I'm seeing 
is reality, right? 

109
00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:38,760
So I read it. 
So then I asked my mom. 

110
00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:44,200
I said, hey, mom, I, I found 
your dad's death record. 

111
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:47,840
But this is the year he said he 
died, which is several years 

112
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:51,320
before you were born. 
And right away she's like, that 

113
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:55,040
has to be a mistake. 
Just she was thinking the same. 

114
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,680
Oh, she had the same train of 
thought that I did, right? 

115
00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,920
She thought that that there was 
some kind of a stake in the 

116
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,960
record. 
Also, as she's thinking about 

117
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:07,520
it, she goes, well, maybe that's
not really my grandfather. 

118
00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:10,080
This is funny. 
Maybe it's a son of an 

119
00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:13,960
illegitimate son of his. 
Like maybe I'm reading like I 

120
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:20,160
have the name correctly, but 
it's not her father. 

121
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:23,040
It's a half brother that she 
didn't know about. 

122
00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:26,120
OK. 
So saying that the record 

123
00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:29,600
actually was not for the person 
that you thought it was for, 

124
00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:31,800
maybe it was actually for. 
Someone else. 

125
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:34,840
She thought it was in like. 
Well, our minds start going. 

126
00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,400
Yeah, our minds start going 
places to make things. 

127
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:41,160
Which in my family would not 
have been a surprise, not at all

128
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:43,200
I could find knowing my family's
history. 

129
00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:47,000
So I leave it alone. 
So I'm adding to my tree, 

130
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:50,600
finding more records, whatever, 
but also decide, well, it might 

131
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:55,760
be helpful if I take the DNA 
test to just kind of start 

132
00:07:55,760 --> 00:08:00,040
venturing into genetic genealogy
so that maybe I'll find some 

133
00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:03,840
matches and they'll be helpful. 
And I remember telling your mom,

134
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:07,840
I'm going to do this, but I know
we're probably not going to find

135
00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:09,880
anything surprising. 
There aren't going to be any 

136
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:12,560
surprises. 
I know who I'm all my aunts are.

137
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,800
I know who all my uncles are on 
your side. 

138
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:18,000
I've met them all right? 
We all kind of lived in this 

139
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:21,320
little cluster and this 
community where we all ended up 

140
00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:23,640
in the Midwest. 
It's pretty straightforward, but

141
00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:26,960
it's going to help me maybe find
some cousins that we've lost 

142
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:29,960
track of the children of the 
aunts and uncles that I know. 

143
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:33,039
So I take the test and then I 
get my results. 

144
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,200
And then I look at them and I 
see my top matches. 

145
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:43,080
And my top matches are with an 
uncle and someone else very 

146
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:47,080
close with a last name that I 
absolutely do not recognize. 

147
00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:51,400
So I look at this last name. 
I know all my aunts and uncles, 

148
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,560
I know a lot, I know lots of my 
extended family, I know their 

149
00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:57,880
last names, but I don't know 
this last name. 

150
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:02,960
So I'm trying to figure it out. 
And this was an ancestry result.

151
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:08,400
So as you know, with Ancestry 
includes you into how you might 

152
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:11,360
be related to these matches, to 
your top matches, right? 

153
00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:15,000
So it shows your Santa Morgans 
and shows you what level of 

154
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,680
match you are. 
And it says uncle, right? 

155
00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:21,360
So my top match is an uncle as I
I know, yes. 

156
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:24,920
And at the time that you took 
it, did it say if it was through

157
00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:28,760
your mother or your father or 
'cause they updated it at some 

158
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:33,280
point where they actually show 
which line the match is coming 

159
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:35,760
from? 
But so at this point you didn't 

160
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:39,200
have that, but you could see 
Uncle, which is a close. 

161
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:42,240
That is a close. 
Match, yes, really close match. 

162
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:47,040
So what happens is they're 
shared matches kind of thing. 

163
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:51,000
They were kind of hinting and 
time and place, something like 

164
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,680
that. 
I was able to quickly figure out

165
00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:55,600
that it was definitely my mom's 
side of the family for some 

166
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,160
reason. 
But like I said, it was a name 

167
00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:02,480
that I didn't recognize at all. 
So I started looking at some of 

168
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:05,160
the other people that I didn't 
recognize. 

169
00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:14,040
Now it became a little 
complicated because my mom's bio

170
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:20,360
dad has some of the same last 
names as my grandma. 

171
00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:25,080
So both sides both sides of the 
family share last names right? 

172
00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:28,360
So. 
Right. 

173
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:30,920
Because, yeah, there's common 
names in. 

174
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,720
Yeah. 
So it would be not too 

175
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:38,440
dissimilar from like, you know, 
a Smith or a Johnson or, you 

176
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:40,040
know, something like that in the
US. 

177
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:43,040
Sure. 
And especially in northeastern 

178
00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:46,760
New Mexico where there's a lot 
of indagaby like we all see, we 

179
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:49,800
all send from these same family 
groups. 

180
00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:53,600
So, so I'm looking at these last
names and of course they look 

181
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:57,760
familiar to me, but they 
actually weren't the family 

182
00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:01,160
groups I knew about growing up. 
All right. 

183
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:05,000
But I was just some poking and I
saw a cousin, another cousin's 

184
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:10,120
like, I don't recognize that guy
either, but his bio had contact 

185
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,400
information. 
If you're interested in family 

186
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:16,640
genealogy, you can reach out and
contact me. 

187
00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:21,520
So I did some follow up to ask 
him the normal stuff. 

188
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:24,680
Who are you? 
How are we related? 

189
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:30,840
We had this conversation and he 
was like, well, this is my 

190
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:35,040
family history. 
I think you're related to this 

191
00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:38,800
side of the family. 
And again, it was a person I did

192
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,640
not recognize that I didn't 
know, like these cousins 

193
00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:42,880
matches, like I said, didn't 
know. 

194
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:48,200
So essentially what I did, I 
messaged the uncle through 

195
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:51,000
Ancestry and he says why don't 
you call me? 

196
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:56,720
So I called him. 
What were you thinking when that

197
00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:59,960
was the response? 
There's some hesitation because 

198
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:03,920
even though I'm bilingual, I 
haven't spoke in Spanish in a 

199
00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:07,760
long time and I know a lot of my
family members and like I'm 

200
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,400
going to call this guy and 
hopefully the Spanish was going 

201
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:15,160
to work some of that. 
So I called him and he did tell 

202
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:18,680
me straight away, hey, I'm more 
comfortable in Spanish. 

203
00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:23,360
They go, OK, settle myself down.
Let's do this. 

204
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:26,800
I start the conversation in 
Spanish, but I'm like, I 

205
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:30,600
hopefully I can find all the 
right words that right because 

206
00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:35,600
sometimes, especially if you 
haven't spoken in Spanish in 

207
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:38,440
quite a while, the vocabulary 
doesn't come to you straight 

208
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:40,080
away. 
So I was like, well, hopefully 

209
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:43,720
everything comes to me straight 
away so that I can get the 

210
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:48,520
information that I need from 
this man who's probably my 

211
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:51,080
uncle. 
I wasn't all in thinking he was 

212
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:52,880
my uncle. 
I was pretty sure he was my 

213
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:57,680
uncle, but I don't know. 
It's that whole NP thing here. 

214
00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:00,800
Well for me it's like not 
grandparent expected type thing 

215
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,560
so. 
Sure, sure. 

216
00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:07,680
Yeah, but but you but the DN you
if you have that experience with

217
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:13,520
genealogy and kind of diving 
into the DNA, you kind of know 

218
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:16,520
like it's not a lie. 
This is this is real. 

219
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:19,240
But you don't know who he is. 
So what does he say? 

220
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,720
So he. 
Started talking and he's like 

221
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:24,480
well who's your mom, right? 
Who are your parents? 

222
00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:27,120
Where are your parents from? 
And I'm asking them the same 

223
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:30,760
questions. 
My mom, she does have a younger 

224
00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:34,600
brother, too. 
And I tell him what my uncle's 

225
00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:37,200
name, my mom's younger brother, 
what his name is. 

226
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,400
And he goes, that's my dad's 
name. 

227
00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:45,320
That's your dad's name. 
He's like, yeah, that's also my 

228
00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:48,640
middle name. 
And like, well, all the pieces, 

229
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:52,600
all the puzzle pieces are 
falling into place, right? 

230
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:57,520
And like, OK, you're my uncle 
for sure. 

231
00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:02,240
Like this name is not a common 
Spanish first name. 

232
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:08,280
So your dad having that first 
name and my uncle having that 

233
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,920
first name, he's obviously named
after him. 

234
00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:19,160
And my uncle is also like my 
mom, the children of your dad, 

235
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:22,280
which is what I tell him. 
Like we're related that way. 

236
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:26,920
Wow. 
So you you instantly kind of put

237
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:33,000
the pieces together that both of
them are from this man. 

238
00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:37,320
Like biological grandpa. 
Unexpected your biological 

239
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:40,840
grandfather. 
Are you able to learn any more 

240
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:44,160
about what happened? 
Maybe have you met your 

241
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:49,240
grandmother So. 
Yes, kind of in a way, because 

242
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:56,120
now I know that this secret 
exists and I'm not willing to 

243
00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:59,800
tell my mom straight away 
because this is something that's

244
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:03,680
been a secret for now over 70 
years, right? 

245
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:05,960
So I was like, well, I got to 
figure this out. 

246
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:10,440
So it took me. 
So even though from the time I 

247
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:15,320
took the ancestry test to 
contact the my uncle was a 

248
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:18,280
pretty short period of time, it 
took me a whole year before I 

249
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,520
told my mom. 
And the reason why is because I 

250
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:26,120
wanted to have all my 
information straight. 

251
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:31,120
I want to have all the records I
needed to have. 

252
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:35,920
I, I don't know. 
I want to like in my mind, have 

253
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:43,200
this overwhelmingly amount of 
evidence to prove that this 

254
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:49,320
person I found this man was my 
mom's brother and that the 

255
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:51,720
person who she thought was her 
father really wasn't her father.

256
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:55,840
So I spent a year conversing 
with other cousin and newly 

257
00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:58,960
discovered cousins and finding 
documents and stuff like that 

258
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:04,520
and trying to kind of figure out
what might have happened before 

259
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:10,240
I was willing to tell my mom or.
And even then I was almost 

260
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:14,800
unwilling to do it without my 
brother's permission because I'm

261
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:18,480
the youngest son and I was like,
well I'm the youngest son. 

262
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,600
I'm going to ask my older 
brother just because for some 

263
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:26,480
reason I just felt like it. 
My brother needed to make the 

264
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:29,520
decision as the older brother 
for some reason. 

265
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:34,160
What were you worried about? 
With your identity, 100% 

266
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:37,120
identity. 
All her life, she assumed that 

267
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:41,760
my grandmother's first husband 
was her biological father. 

268
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:44,760
My grandmother remarried by this
time, so the person I knew as 

269
00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:47,640
grandpa I knew was my 
grandmother's second husband. 

270
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:51,400
But it's all an identity thing I
was afraid of. 

271
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:56,160
And I known that my mom's older 
siblings have been keeping the 

272
00:16:56,160 --> 00:17:00,400
secret from her, right? 
So I know if they're unwilling 

273
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:04,160
to tell her the truth, this was 
going to be a big revelation. 

274
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:10,560
And I, I was afraid how my mom 
was going to respond to the 

275
00:17:10,599 --> 00:17:14,599
news, like emotionally, 
everything intellectually. 

276
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:17,880
Yeah, it's a it's a massive 
people for sure. 

277
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:21,560
So you talk to your brother. 
What does he say? 

278
00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:23,960
Of course, he says you need to 
do it. 

279
00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:29,320
So my grandmother was married 
pretty young in Mexico. 

280
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:32,360
All right. 
And then based on the death 

281
00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:37,920
record, her husband, my mom's 
first secret father, contracted 

282
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,720
tuberculosis. 
So he ended up dying pretty 

283
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:47,280
young from tuberculosis. 
After he dies, my grandmother, 

284
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:52,280
she couldn't manage the family 
farm, so she was in difficult 

285
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:56,480
time of it. 
So eventually she gives up the 

286
00:17:56,480 --> 00:18:02,440
farm and to make ends meet, she 
moves to a city in Texas, right 

287
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:08,280
across the border. 
And it's there that she meets my

288
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:11,200
grandfather. 
How did you learn this 

289
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:15,120
information? 
Was it from your mom's older 

290
00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:16,960
siblings? 
Like I'm curious about how you 

291
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:21,280
were able to gain insight into 
your grandmother and what she 

292
00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:23,880
was going. 
Through I'd always been very 

293
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:27,600
interested, so I was really paid
attention to my mom's stories. 

294
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:31,840
And my mom's stories came from 
my grandmother, so I knew the 

295
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:37,360
story of losing the farm, her 
moving to Texas, having a 

296
00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:41,360
difficult time there. 
But the story was everyone's 

297
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:44,920
born. 
Everyone was, yeah, everyone was

298
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:48,560
already born at that point. 
There was there was a gap there 

299
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:54,040
where she met someone. 
Else yes, OK, so. 

300
00:18:54,640 --> 00:19:00,480
And so she had your mom and your
mom's little brother, is that 

301
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:04,200
correct? 
And my mom has three older 

302
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:07,000
siblings now. 
This is interesting. 

303
00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:12,040
So there's a 10 year gap between
my mom and her next older 

304
00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:14,280
sibling. 
And as I've learned from your 

305
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:18,640
podcast, like a lot of times, 
that's a sign that something 

306
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,120
something's interesting 
happened, right? 

307
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:22,960
That there's. 
This big, huge age gap. 

308
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:29,000
It was always explained away by 
the fact that my grandfather got

309
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:35,520
sick and after he got better 
than my grandmother had more 

310
00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:38,200
children. 
So the gap was explained by his 

311
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,600
illness. 
They had cancer. 

312
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:42,320
Well, the story was that he had 
cancer. 

313
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,200
They didn't even know that he 
died from tuberculosis. 

314
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,360
It's like the oral history was 
he died from cancer. 

315
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:52,280
So my grandmother meets my 
biological grandfather after she

316
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:55,520
after she loses everything and 
she moves to Texas to make ends 

317
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:57,880
meet. 
She's having a hard time of it. 

318
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,680
She meets my grandfather, She 
has my mom, and then my 

319
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:07,360
grandmother also has my uncle. 
And then my grandmother's older 

320
00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:09,080
sister. 
And this is where I don't know 

321
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:12,880
the rest of the story. 
This is where it's lost, right? 

322
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:14,800
And everyone who knows is is 
dead. 

323
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,000
So they're still having a hard 
time of it. 

324
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:21,880
So when my mom is about two 
years old and my uncle's a baby,

325
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:27,080
they leave Brownsville, TX where
they were or where they were 

326
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:31,000
because my grandma's sister 
knows that my grandma's having a

327
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,320
hard time. 
So she comes down, scoops them 

328
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:37,320
up, and takes them up to a ranch
a little further north. 

329
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:42,200
So now they're separated from my
biological grandfather. 

330
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,600
So something happened within the
relationship. 

331
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,120
Was he married? 
At the time, yeah. 

332
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:54,200
He was not married, so it wasn't
something about that, but you 

333
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,800
don't know what happened. 
But for whatever reason, they 

334
00:20:56,800 --> 00:21:00,480
end up separated. 
Your mom or your grandmother 

335
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:04,800
moves away with your mom and 
your uncle and then the older 

336
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:05,800
three. 
Yes. 

337
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:11,320
And is that the end of their 
relationship as far as you know?

338
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:13,240
Yeah, that's the end. 
There's that separate. 

339
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:19,240
My mom has no memories and he 
was around, had to be around for

340
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:23,200
the first two years of her life 
because they had my uncle and 

341
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,760
there's a two year age camp 
there. 

342
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,720
Yeah. 
She doesn't. 

343
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:29,960
Remember. 
OK. 

344
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:31,920
Yeah. 
And then they move further away.

345
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:36,920
They move to the Midwest 
afterwards just because that's a

346
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:40,800
place where they could have a 
better life economically. 

347
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:45,880
And then at what point does your
grandmother meet her second 

348
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:48,680
husband? 
My grandpa was a migrant worker.

349
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:53,880
They met in South Texas and my 
grandpa told my older uncle that

350
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:56,760
hey, there's some job 
opportunities up in the Midwest,

351
00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:01,400
my brother has a family up there
you could find a good job. 

352
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:06,160
And this is before my grandpa 
became my grandpa because 

353
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:07,560
they're working in the same 
ranch. 

354
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:09,400
Same. 
Farm right, They're working. 

355
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:16,440
Yeah, and so my uncle goes away,
and then my grandma decides that

356
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:20,240
she just can't leave her oldest 
son alone by himself way up in 

357
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:22,480
Midwest. 
So she packs up the family and 

358
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:24,120
she surprises my uncle and they 
all show up. 

359
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,880
They all show up in the Midwest,
and then my uncle has to find a 

360
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,520
place for everyone. 
But that's a whole different 

361
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:33,120
story. 
OK, and and so then she ends up 

362
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:38,240
falling in love with your 
grandpa, and then he and he 

363
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:42,880
ostensibly adopts the two 
younger ones and raises as a 

364
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:44,600
stepfather. 
'Cause he's a widow, he's a 

365
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:48,320
widower at this when he my 
grandma and him, me, she's a 

366
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:51,520
widow, he's a widower. 
Those are the times where is 

367
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:57,160
people found it more the gender 
roles were more like more thing,

368
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,360
right. 
He needs someone to help around 

369
00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:03,040
the house and she needed someone
to help support her. 

370
00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:06,520
So it's definitely a 
relationship that was convenient

371
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,400
for both of them at that point, 
their lives, yeah. 

372
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:10,560
OK. 
All right. 

373
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:13,120
So, so this is the story that 
you've been able to piece 

374
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:18,480
together and you sit on it for a
year while you're compiling all 

375
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,000
of this information and putting 
the pieces together. 

376
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:24,120
Take me to your conversation 
with your mom. 

377
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,320
What? 
Happens So, like I said, my 

378
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,360
brother, like you need to tell 
mom. 

379
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,040
She still lives in the Midwest 
and I live out out east. 

380
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:34,200
So I'm I call my mom so I can't 
even do a face to face right. 

381
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:38,160
That's probably the most ideal 
thing, but I call her and I go 

382
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:42,200
mom, I have something to tell 
you and she's like what? 

383
00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:46,520
And I just tell her, the person 
who you thought was your dad, 

384
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,640
it's not your dad. 
I've made this discovery. 

385
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:54,200
It's this man. 
And she stops. 

386
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:58,840
She starts reflecting on it and 
she's like, that makes sense. 

387
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:02,240
It's starting to make sense 
because I'm starting to remember

388
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:04,840
conversations I had with my mom,
with my grandma. 

389
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:07,480
She starts to remember things 
like, you know what? 

390
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:11,880
When I talked to your grandma, 
she never referred to my 

391
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:16,720
birthday father as your dad. 
She never told me your dad did 

392
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:22,040
this or your dad did that. 
When she talked about him to me,

393
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:27,200
she just always said his name. 
She would say first name did 

394
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:31,640
this right, first name did that.
And I'm like, well, that's 

395
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,400
really weird. 
No one does that. 

396
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:37,120
What that tells me is my grandma
never really wanted to lie lie. 

397
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:42,200
She she withheld stuff, but she 
never through my mom's whole 

398
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:46,920
life, referred to her first 
husband as my mom's father. 

399
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:51,120
Oh, interesting. 
But because there was no one 

400
00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:55,560
else talked about, maybe the 
connection was made that that 

401
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,800
must have been your mom. 
'S dad. 

402
00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:59,560
There was no reason to think 
otherwise. 

403
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,040
Yeah. 
How so? 

404
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:04,240
It sounds like she took it 
pretty well. 

405
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:07,040
I mean, was it hard for her? 
Was she emotional? 

406
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:09,520
She. 
Took it very well after that 

407
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:13,840
first conversation, but then she
went through what most MPs go 

408
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:17,040
through. 
She started to really question 

409
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:19,760
her identity. 
She did the same thing where she

410
00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:21,840
looks in the mirror and just 
says who am I? 

411
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:27,800
All that kind of stuff. 
Thinking about my grandma and 

412
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:31,280
the conversations that he had, 
wondering why my grandma 

413
00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:33,880
withheld that information from 
her. 

414
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:38,240
All the classic things, right? 
She went through and she would 

415
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:41,640
have happy moments knowing that 
she knew the truth. 

416
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:45,200
And then she'd be really sad 
because she never had the 

417
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:49,400
opportunity to meet her 
biological father, right? 

418
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,040
And. 
Yeah. 

419
00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:52,720
How long did he? 
Live. 

420
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,960
That's a great question because 
he only died about four years 

421
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:59,040
ago and he lived into his 
hundreds. 

422
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:02,280
Wow, they just missed each 
other. 

423
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,840
Oh, I really feel for your mom 
on that. 

424
00:26:06,360 --> 00:26:10,280
Yeah, that's hard. 
And how would you say that this 

425
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:14,000
has affected you? 
You're one generation removed 

426
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,520
from it, but you had all of 
these stories that you'd 

427
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:20,080
incorporated into your identity 
as well. 

428
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:25,040
How did the surprise affect you?
You know, a little differently 

429
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:30,560
because like I said, I never had
pictures of who I thought was my

430
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:33,280
biological grandfather. 
I never had pictures. 

431
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:35,600
My grandma never talked about 
him. 

432
00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:40,240
I just had a name. 
So for me, he was always kind of

433
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:44,240
like a ghost, right? 
And it was never very real. 

434
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:47,040
I knew my grandpa, I knew my 
grandma. 

435
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:51,120
So I think if I had known him, 
it would affect me a lot 

436
00:26:51,120 --> 00:26:52,440
differently. 
All right. 

437
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:57,520
Now, one thing that our 
conversation has kind of 

438
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:05,680
reminded me of is the fact that 
DNA discoveries, DNA surprises, 

439
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:11,600
NP, ES, whatever you want to 
call them are not only uncovered

440
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:16,640
by the NPE themselves, right? 
It's generations down the line 

441
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,520
that can uncover this 
information. 

442
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:25,600
How was it for you to kind of 
bear the burden of revealing 

443
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:29,200
this to your mom? 
I know you weren't even sure if 

444
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,400
you should tell her. 
You know, take me through kind 

445
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:35,320
of how that affect is. 
To some members of my family, 

446
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,880
it's still secret. 
It's a little bit of a burden 

447
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:41,320
because I, I want to tell 
everybody, Right. 

448
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:48,280
But my mom didn't want me to 
like, yeah, OK, see. 

449
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:50,720
And there's reasons. 
There's good reasons for it. 

450
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:54,280
Well, she could justify it. 
I'm not gonna say good. 

451
00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:56,120
Sure. 
They're her reasons. 

452
00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:59,000
They're her reasons. 
Has she connected with any of 

453
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:02,920
her siblings, like the uncle 
that you connected with through 

454
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:03,840
DNA? 
No. 

455
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:08,840
That's all been me and the 
reason being because she feels 

456
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:13,040
that because she discovered this
so late in life, she doesn't 

457
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:14,800
want it. 
She feels like she would be 

458
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:20,120
intruding, so she doesn't want 
her to inject herself into these

459
00:28:20,120 --> 00:28:23,640
people's lives. 
The siblings that didn't know 

460
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:25,480
she existed. 
Because my biological 

461
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:27,920
grandfather did get married and 
ultimately he had four more 

462
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:31,440
children. 
This happened five years ago, 

463
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:35,840
the original kind of discovery. 
And then four years ago you told

464
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:38,760
your mom. 
How is she doing today? 

465
00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:43,920
In order to help her better 
navigate her emotional response 

466
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:46,080
to this and everything. 
That's when I started to listen 

467
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,840
to your podcasts and other 
podcasts like yours, because I 

468
00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:52,800
wanted to understand because 
being a generation removed from 

469
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:56,160
it, I can look at my mom and I 
cook at my dad and I know who I 

470
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:58,800
am. 
I, I see how they behave. 

471
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:02,360
I see saw how my my mom's 
manners, my dad's manners, I 

472
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:05,520
know who I pattern myself after.
So it's a little different. 

473
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:09,760
There's no mystery, but my mom, 
there's that. 

474
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:13,760
I think the trauma every MP 
experiences, like just be 

475
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:18,880
actually, because leading up 
while I was doing my research, 

476
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:20,280
she'd always said, you know 
what? 

477
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:24,640
My siblings, my sisters are 
different from me. 

478
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:27,400
They're very different from me. 
And I don't understand why 

479
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:31,400
they're different from me. 
It's like and well this is the 

480
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:34,360
reason why. 
It's like it was. 

481
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:36,520
Always there. 
She's actually in a really good 

482
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:39,680
place. 
And now she's thanked me. 

483
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:42,160
She goes. 
I'm glad you discovered the 

484
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:44,640
truth. 
For me, this is something I 

485
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:48,280
really needed to know. 
And I found a lot of pictures 

486
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:51,760
for her, my great grandmother, 
picture of her father. 

487
00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:56,360
She has that picture on her, her
Bureau now. 

488
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:59,440
It's filled in a lot of things 
for her, all this information 

489
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:04,200
that I'm able to find. 
So she feels really happy that 

490
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:07,560
even though she was really sad 
and going through that whole 

491
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:10,840
crisis that everyone goes 
through for a while, she's very 

492
00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:15,000
happy now that she knows the 
truth and she knows where she 

493
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,400
comes from. 
She knows our family history and

494
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:21,320
that side, her paternal side. 
And so she is in a really good 

495
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:22,600
place right now. 
Yeah. 

496
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:25,440
That's really good. 
Thank you for sharing that 

497
00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:29,200
because I think for people who 
uncover the secret and like you 

498
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:32,400
said, it is kind of a burden if 
they may be on the fence about 

499
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:33,800
what to do with that 
information. 

500
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:36,120
I think it helps to hear 
different perspectives and that 

501
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:41,560
your mom, even in her 70s, was 
glad to know the the truth about

502
00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:43,440
who she is. 
Makes sense of. 

503
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:47,160
Yeah. 
So you have connected with this 

504
00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:51,120
new found side of the family. 
Have you met any of them? 

505
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:53,280
Like what's next in in your part
of? 

506
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:56,880
This journey I called and talked
to them, to some of my family 

507
00:30:56,880 --> 00:31:02,000
members and some of them really 
extended, but still for me fun 

508
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:05,200
'cause this is what I enjoy, 
like reconnecting with my family

509
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:08,040
and learning about all the 
different branches of my family.

510
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:13,280
I had a cousin who was traveling
across America and our he was 

511
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:17,040
trying to figure out where he 
wanted to settle down and he was

512
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:20,760
out this way and I got to meet 
him and his wife and it was 

513
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:26,480
pretty cool. 
Talked to him and like on social

514
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:30,120
media, you know, I've connected 
with all these family members 

515
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:33,800
and they all inter interact and 
have things to say and what I 

516
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:37,560
post and, and whatnot. 
Just finding out more about 

517
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:42,320
them. 
It's been really nice for me and

518
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:46,880
and I really like knowing 
precisely where I'm from. 

519
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:51,920
So it's been really cool to find
these people and know where they

520
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:57,080
lived and to know what part of 
Mexico we came from. 

521
00:31:57,200 --> 00:31:59,280
I had an idea, but now I really,
really know. 

522
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,080
I know all these little small 
towns. 

523
00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:04,120
I know exactly where my 
grandparents came from, My 

524
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:06,520
great, great grandparents came 
from. 

525
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:09,160
It was funny. 
My mom, it's like, well, 

526
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:11,960
wouldn't it be really 
interesting if you find found 

527
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:14,840
out where our first European 
ancestor came from? 

528
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,880
I was like, I don't know. 
I mean, I think we've been in a 

529
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:19,600
place for very several 
centuries. 

530
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:21,120
I don't know how easy that is 
pretty. 

531
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:25,800
Far back. 
Yeah, pretty far back. 

532
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:29,680
But actually it was able to to 
do it with the with just net 

533
00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:32,320
cricket with other genealogists.
I mean, you don't find everybody

534
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:33,400
because that'd be. 
Thousands of. 

535
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:37,000
People, 10s of thousands of 
people, you know, at this point.

536
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:40,000
But I can go back. 
It's funny because I didn't 

537
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,520
think I was going to do it. 
I was skeptical of my own 

538
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:46,640
ability to do it. 
But I, I with, with some help, 

539
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:52,280
with some other genealogists, I 
can go back to 14th generation. 

540
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:56,200
15th generation, yeah. 
Wow, that's incredible. 

541
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:59,360
I started my story with this. 
This whole thing started because

542
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:02,680
my mom felt that she just came 
from these helpful origins. 

543
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:07,320
But I've kind of demonstrated to
us there's like took for all of 

544
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:08,520
us. 
There's this complexity. 

545
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:12,280
It's it's there. 
Yeah, so true. 

546
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:14,720
I. 
Found that for her SO and it's 

547
00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:16,480
made her happy. 
Put her in a good place. 

548
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:22,040
Yeah, and you really, You gave 
her the gift of who she is. 

549
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:25,200
That's pretty remarkable. 
Yeah, she's super grateful. 

550
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,720
I, I don't feel like she needs 
to be as grateful as she is. 

551
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:32,560
It's it's always surprised me, 
but this is very important and 

552
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:34,880
I, I learned that from all the 
stories I've listened to this, 

553
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:38,760
This is why it mean this is she 
never knew or she didn't even 

554
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:44,120
know that this, that she was an 
MPE right, her whole life for 70

555
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:47,440
years. 
But then you discover it and 

556
00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:52,640
it's a very real, impactful and 
traumatic thing experience. 

557
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:57,400
Yeah, yeah. 
Well, I'm glad she's she's come 

558
00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:00,920
out on the other side. 
What advice do you have for a 

559
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:04,720
parent who may be keeping Adna 
surprise from their child? 

560
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:08,280
You definitely have to tell them
and you can't let the secret 

561
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:11,400
persist. 
And I know first hand that you 

562
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:14,600
let that person know because 
people need to know who they are

563
00:34:14,639 --> 00:34:16,840
and it's important for everyone 
to know. 

564
00:34:18,159 --> 00:34:20,120
OK. 
Then for my second question, 

565
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:21,920
I'll put a little bit of a spin 
on it. 

566
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:27,719
What advice do you have for the 
children of NP ES, especially 

567
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:31,320
maybe somebody who's uncovering 
a lot of that information and 

568
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:33,600
learning a lot of information 
really quickly? 

569
00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:36,080
What advice do you have? 
Yeah, it can be overwhelming. 

570
00:34:36,159 --> 00:34:40,280
It was overwhelming to me to 
know all this information. 

571
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:42,719
So you really have to take time 
to process it. 

572
00:34:43,199 --> 00:34:46,760
And I really hope that people 
can find others that have gone 

573
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:49,159
through it as well. 
So maybe you can talk it through

574
00:34:49,159 --> 00:34:52,120
some before maybe you have that 
conversation, right? 

575
00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:57,120
So that like you're in a calmer 
place, a calmer spot to, to have

576
00:34:57,120 --> 00:35:01,360
that conversation with your dad 
or your mother because it's 

577
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:03,880
actually, I find it, it was a 
little more difficult than 

578
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:06,320
anticipated. 
Sure. 

579
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:09,440
Yeah. 
Well, Oscar, thank you so much 

580
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:14,080
for joining me and sharing your 
family's story on the podcast. 

581
00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:18,720
We're often saying the secrets 
don't say secrets. 

582
00:35:18,720 --> 00:35:22,080
We've got future generations who
are going to take tests and do 

583
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:24,760
digging, and you're an example 
of that. 

584
00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:27,840
And like I said earlier, you 
know, just what a gift that you 

585
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:31,760
gave your mom where now she has 
a stronger sense who she is. 

586
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:35,600
I'm really glad that it turned 
out positive for her in getting 

587
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:39,040
some peace around that. 
And I wish you the best as you 

588
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:42,480
continue learning more about 
your family and yourself. 

589
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:44,040
Thank you. 
Thank you, Alexis. 

590
00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:47,120
Thanks again to Oscar for 
sharing his story. 

591
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:50,320
If you have Adna Surprise that 
you'd like to share, please 

592
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:54,200
submit your story at 
dnasurprises.com and join me 

593
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,960
over on Patreon for early ad 
free access to 

594
00:35:56,960 --> 00:36:01,000
episodes@patreon.com/DNA 
Surprises. 

595
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:05,440
Until next time. 
This episode of DNA Surprises 

596
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:10,360
was hosted, produced, and edited
by me, Alexis Ourselt. 

597
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:15,200
It was mixed and mastered by 
Josh Ourselt of Siren Recording 

598
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:15,960
Studios.