Last time on no latency. Feel just a little bit better.
Do you want to take a vacation? Make some pina coladas.
A pina colada would be so nice. No, the skeleton.
We need the the skeleton. For Domino, yes.
Oh yeah. We have to run the cads anyway,
so. We got to go to the Cads office.
We get the relic chip. Sorry, Abbott.
All right. And then we go down, we run the
Cads, and then we leave. Oh.
Grip it and rip it, my guy. Yeah, we're going down, down.
May we have your relic chip? Please, I think it'll fit in the
case. At this point, they're already
dead. Oh, don't go in there, OK, Green
one, that means you start and I end.
I'm the beginning and we're at the end of all things.
You got it. Y'all hear that?
Oh, no. Oh.
My God. Yuck.
I'm going to try something real quick.
I know. Iona, you told me not to do
this. You're about to cause a lot of
anguish, but let's go. Oh gosh, these four people.
OK, well, they're really helping a good 'cause.
I'm going to, I'm going to shoot.
Phoebe rocks both of her hands on the firing mechanism and with
a sorry push pulls the trigger roll.
Whatever the hell. Yeah, I'm looking.
Around high there is a decent DV for this fight.
Yeah, I'm just trying to think what I can roll here.
Medical tech. When in doubt, medical tech.
If you think about it, it's like a scalpel.
I mean, you had you had to use laser scalpels, right?
It's true. It's true.
It's. A big laser scalpels.
It's a great argument. 21 Holy shit.
So you're sitting there VV and I need you to roll me two D6.
Oh no, that is not the damage. It's the mental damage I'm going
to take for. And as you're finding this
laser, you watch that percentage go down by 11%.
Oh my gosh, we. We need.
That so by by not trying to meter your power at all.
A regular shot is 2D6. It does a lot of damage.
That's 5D6 damage, which is a lot of damage.
That's a lot of damage. 22 damage.
You watch it rip through the bodies of these creatures in a
huge round ball of fire which dissipates and flashes through
the air as they collapse to the floor and die.
Although code that that'll be good.
Holy shit, that's a big laser. Yeah, it works.
How much battery have we got left?
80. One percent 9090 -, 11 is. 87.
87, we're at 87%. OK, as we move to Vendel's turn.
Iona, what do I do? I suppose shoot them.
OK.
The ones on the left or the right?
The ones below Jeb. OK.
And Vendel moves to the side. And what What do they do to
these creatures? Bang Bang Bang Bang. 17.
Oh shit, I should have moved closer.
They needed to roll A20 and they they very much missed their
first shot. Fuck.
Oh shit. Do we have a grenade or
anything? There's four of them.
We moved you a little bit closer, Vendo.
I have a laser. I have I have laser.
I might just start shooting. And let me check my inventory.
Nope. Fuck.
I swear I stole one from Jeb and we went down.
Fuck. Oh well, if you if you did, you
didn't write it down, Vendale. I don't write, OK, Let me let me
shoot again. Bang, bang.
Like Jeb says, bang. Bang Bang.
Wait. Wait bang?
Hey, Jeb, are you wearing that Christmas gift I got you?
Oh. Shit, it broke.
Fuck. And Vendale now has to spend the
rest of their movement fixing their gun that just jammed
Mother. Fucking piece of shit.
This is what you get for buying corpo piece of shit.
Yeah. Were you wearing that jacket
that I made you for Christmas? Yeah, the, the, the, the, the
Nass one, the one with the, the. One that's got the popped up
collar and the studs on the sides that are grenades.
Wait a minute. There's studs on the sides of
grenades. Yeah.
The sea creatures move more into the space.
Their wet footsteps and their whipped tongues flash and spit
water across the road, and it's Iona's turn.
I've. Got a heart?
I would like to use my bureaucracy skills to instruct
Jeb to do the next step of the fabrication.
Oh, nice. By doing so, you free up his
turn for combat. Great to.
Tell you roll for bureaucracy. You rolled 22 in the midst of
the fight. There's a a little noise you
hear of a conveyor belt moving, and you spy the pieces coming
out of Retro's machine and spilling into the next one in
front of Jeb. Jeb is not paying attention.
Jeb, how many have you seen these things?
Jeb, turn your key now. What now?
Now turn. And there's a very satisfying
click Jeb. It feels like a really good gun
machine starts, starts to set the area for the welds and put
all the pieces in the right place and do some wiring and you
watch it do the robot arm stuff behind the glass in front of
you. And it's really cool.
Wow. That's really cool.
This is a gift from my owner who gave you their turn in order to
move the fabrication forward. Instead of using your turn to do
this, you now can fight. Great, because these things
look, that's scary. So I'm gonna start popping the
mouse. They're.
They're closer to me, Jeff. Please save my butt.
Oh no. I I mean considering that the
the the angle of the gun just has to turn about.
Oh I don't know what you said that 45° down to get these other
ones I'm going to go to the as far as I can, which I believe is
probably about there and take a few shots.
Listen, it's kind. They're kind of far away Van
Dale. But I'm going to do my best by
my. Wait, no, no, no.
I'd like to point out that you just had a whole conversation
about how there are grenades attached to your jacket.
That's right. No, you forgot.
Wait. Wait.
No, because I haven't. I have an idea that this is
going to be silly. OK.
So these things are grenades on my jacket.
OK, all right. And Jeb takes off his jacket and
throws the jacket towards them and then shoots.
Tries to. Shoot the grenades that are
embedded in the jackets. Oh my God.
So jab in the most Batman way ever.
Take your jacket off and you frisbee it forwards towards
these beasts that are pouring out of the water near Bendel.
And as it's about to land between them, you shoot it mid
air with a 27, causing just your jacket 8 damage, which is enough
to set off one of those great grenades and set off a chain
reaction to basically vaporize all four of the beasts coming
out of that particular area of lavo.
Holy. Shit.
And then, though, instinctively takes a step back.
Fuck. Oh my.
Can you imagine if I got shot back there?
Could have blown up. Good thing I can dodge those
bullets like they ain't no that. That was my Christmas gift.
I know, and it came in a hell of a handy.
Retro, it is now your turn and you're now at like, you know.
Are you in the other room? Yeah, I haven't left when I was
on the machine. I'm just watching this all the
window. Like, what the fuck's going on
out here? What the fuck's that?
It's your turn. You're watching everyone fight
for their lives. 123 open door 456 I'm not even at the other
door. Yeah, you can see through the
door though you could run for double your movement.
Good. All right.
I'm gonna. I'm gonna run.
I'm coming, Bobby. I'm coming, Bobby.
What? The fuck is all this
underground? And why are they glowing?
What? The hell are these things?
They're radioactive, Do not touch them.
Don't gotta tell me twice. Just like you know, people
destroy your handmade items you make for them for the Christmas
gifts. Says Retro, as more beasts
appear to the east. More.
More Holy shit, they just keep. Going thing, The only person who
can see them right now is iota. Shit More just appeared from the
east. They're coming from the east, my
Lord. What should we do?
DD. Well, it's it's time to move to
the east. You can't see the ones to the
east where you where you are. Yeah, I guess I can't you.
Should probably shoot the ones directly South of you.
Yes, I think I will. With the big laser that you're
straddling, this fight's actually kind of fun.
I hope you'll make it out alive. But is the laser, would you say
average sized? No, it's fucking huge.
It's a gassy motherfucker. It's huge.
It's a 40 feet long. Look quite girthy 40.
To 45 feet long. It's long.
I I begin to move the direction of the laser S to the four to
the South of me, and I expend more power on this laser and
fire. Do you use the same amount of
power as before? Do you meter it down or do you
meter it down because you have the choice of doing like 1/2
shot? Just use the same amount, you're
fine. Yeah, I'm going to use the same
amount and just get rid of all of them.
Goodbye. 22 Yes, the laser fires off.
Oh, look at that. So only 3% goes down for this
shot. Hell yeah.
But it still lets out the same amount of power flying forward,
causing 5D6 damage to these beasts in a cluster.
That's 13 damage. Has a bad roll. 13 damage.
It only manages to kill three of them, and there's still 1
standing, but the others kind of scream.
I mean, maybe you did shoot the whoop shoop, whoop on that one.
I did, yeah. You make me want.
In order to get it ready for the next charge, you you recognize
it needs another charge to fire again.
So you can use your your movement to pull the big lever
that does the big chunk chunk and makes it charge like a
defibrillator you can get off the gun.
My point is, if you want to leave the gun, somebody has to
use their movement to charge it essentially.
I'll stay on the gun. All right, so you use your
movement and you use your your right arm and you pull this big
lever and it it's just, it feels dope.
This machine under you hums, and you feel invincible.
Yeah, I am invincible. Yeah, you are, Phoebe.
I'm going to fuck up that one that you missed, even though
you're invincible. Thank you, Vendel.
You got it. 1/2. All right, Bendel, Fuck it up.
Fuck it up. Fuck it up.
And they shoot, right?
Yeah. Bang. 17 That hits.
Fuck you. No, it doesn't.
Shit.
What? The I'm too far away.
Bang better. 22 That hits Fuck you.
This bullet rips through the rest of this alligator's flesh.
It passes through one of the eyes and you see it fall to the
ground. Oh God, why is everything down
here so gross? I mean something something
haven't discovered all of the depths of the ocean.
Something some. Man wasn't meant to test with
the forces of nature and God and.
More of these beasts God. Damn it.
Stop it. It.
Never ends. My name is Johnny and I'm the
host, executive producer and Prince of lies for the Monsters
Playbook. What's the monster's playbook?
It's an Actual Play Monster of the Week podcast set in my
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badly as you can hurt yourself. It's a character focused
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hidden even from herself. Casey Davis, a taciturn secret
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sorceress trying to escape the shadow of her powerful magical
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just wants to make sense of his powers and all the weird things
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Playbook. New episodes every other Tuesday
wherever you get your podcasts. We just need to finish the
process. It says Jeb as his stage
finisher. Oh, it's doing.
Next one. Vivi, turn around.
It's time for you to go. Got it.
Come here. Oh.
Yeah, maybe you're. Not Chrissy 23 crits +9.
I. Feel.
Yeah, I feel. Do you feel well supported by
your management team? Yes, yes.
Whoa. Well.
So the laser turns around, and Iona, as they called out to you
with their crit, they managed to slide across the room and help
push it to turn it. So you're here, the laser lines
up, and you you come to this realization.
Vivi, you're now facing the wrong way.
You have to fire this laser into this chamber to solder these
pieces together. But that means that on your next
fire can't shoot the beasts. No, you need it for
construction. Yes, that's fine.
Well. I mean, I think the only thing
to do is to run, I guess. I can't go past these guys.
I don't know. You know what?
I just. I just threw away my my armor.
But you you threw away a a waistcoat.
You didn't throw away your armor.
It's still a nice wood soap though.
I mean I also Jeff, that's that. I can't even argue with that as
a as a GM. I couldn't be a shitty GM and
argue that because you're leather duster and the thing
retro gave you are separate items.
So I can't bullshit. I mean, it's great.
I'll take it. Listen.
I'm here for it. I mean, I guess I just got to
run over here and start blasting when they're kind of far away,
but I I could do my best. Bye, bye.
You shoot 2 bullets into the water and you take out two of
these beasts. Oh, with your shots, you see
their blood seep into the water around them.
Nice shot, Jeb. Well, thanks.
Honestly, I I'm quite impressed myself.
OK, OK, OK. Do I fight or do I do what Retro
does and fix shit? There isn't.
That needs to get fixed, right? Not right now.
Jeff looks like they got a hold of whatever creatures are coming
out of this. Whole of I mean, yeah, maybe.
See. Like hell.
I'll just Mosey on about my movement to here.
So that's 123456. I can go there.
I don't see any other enemies, so I guess I'll have to hold my
turn in case something comes at me.
Which of the three sub bays do you want to point your gun at?
And if you see a creature, you can shoot it when it appears.
Well, Jeb's got this one, so I'm going to go to two.
I'm going to aim at 2:00. Right.
You ready your weapon? What weapon do you?
Ready. Decide now.
It's it's going to be my skeleton key because I'm going
to unlock their soul from this earth.
Is that is that rocket? No, this is a this is my rifle.
OK? We called it Skeleton Key
because I blew the door out. And some of the creatures move
forward to the edge of the third sub Bay, cresting at the doorway
and looking on towards Iona and VV.
Iona. You're standing next to the
laser, and you look at VV as it's fully charged.
It's. Time to fire.
So I'm going to shoot. Sounds good.
Roll anything. Oh, you rolled Med tech.
All right. I was, I was.
I was switching. Rolled.
Was that you rolled in eight? OK, good.
Yes, that is enough. You're sitting on the laser.
You can see it's pointed towards this convex glass lens.
You can see the parts arranged very carefully by holding clamps
and the laser as you fire it. It takes control of the aiming
and very, very precisely and carefully starts laser welding
these things together really quickly.
It takes about 6 seconds to do this, which is the entirety of
your turn, but it's really fun if you ever played that Mario
Party game where you have to draw the line.
Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's Van Dalston. There's still 2IN Bay one.
Go ahead and move over a little bit, not inside the radiation
ring. I'll hold them off for as long
as I can. Don't worry, they've got you,
Jim. Bang. 23 Fuck yeah.
Causing 14 damage, They take out one of the beasts in the water.
Yeah, and there's just one left. Bang.
Probably not enough. 18 Not enough misses.
The beast takes the opportunity to move forward, too.
Oh. Fuck.
Oh shit. I made the move.
Shit. Shoot.
Retro. You.
You see beasts Crest onto the surface of Bay 2.
Oh, I'm. If I was going to be Uzi, I'm
going to make them cuties. Let's go.
And you pull the trigger. Throw God.
Your first shot, Your first shot, misses entirely.
You hit one of the beasts that's already dead, and parts of its
body splat across the ground, and it's just gross.
Oops. Oh no, I miss.
You know what It's that's on me. That's on me.
It's my fault. I didn't clean the rifling.
I should have. I should have been cleaning the
rifling. Oops.
Oh shit, that only shoots once, doesn't it?
It does, yeah. Fuck.
Yeah. Fuck.
Damn it. Damn it.
And the beast comes out of the
water in Bay 1 towards Jeb and Bendel.
Oh shit. Oh shit.
And it's Iona's turn. Is Vivi's gun done?
Almost. Can I run all the way back to my
station, the cooling station? I guess.
Is that is that action and movement or is that bonus action
and movement? Your movement away from that
place. OK.
All right. I am just well keeping an eye on
all of the bays because I can see that there is a group of
four coming out of Bay #3A group of four coming out of Bay #2 and
I can see one cresting Bay number one.
I am going to just with my back to the machine ready the key to
turn and then as soon as I see that VV has finished firing the
laser, I'm going to start the cooling process.
Awesome. So you're essentially
overwatching for crafting. Correct.
Right. You stand in front of the
machine with the chip ready to go in the slot, Jeb.
I mean, there's one left, so it's time to start blasting
Bang. Bang.
Shoot out both of its eyes with a 27 and a 25 and it falls to
the ground in one of the coolest kills you've had in a good
month. Man, that was so cool.
If you'd like, that was one of the best kills of the month.
The crocodile eyes. It's like snake eyes, but way
cooler and more Jeb like. Bye.
Oh, you know, I gotta say as much as I I kinda, you know, was
was poo pooing the the whole killing thing.
I really don't mind when they're radioactive.
Crocodiles don't mind the law. Alligators Jeb.
Are they? There are no crocodile tears
that'll be given today. Rachel's gonna move to get a
better shot, all right? I'm not going to miss this time.
This time. I'm not going to fucking get a
crit fail on something that fucking Oh my God.
I couldn't believe when I checked the fucking damage on
that. That was three sixes.
I was like, oh, fuck me, all right, Bang.
Another crit Fail your gun. Shoots.
Wide blow open, another one of the dead bodies missing
entirely. Retro shoot are the ones that
are alive. I.
Don't know what to say except you're welcome.
Are you double tapping? I don't understand why you.
We're thanking you. I can only shoot once and I
can't do anything right now. The fucking dice.
Hate me right now, I. Got 2.
Punny. I got 2 punny and now I'm being
punished. Yep, punished.
And Retro is now shouting and cursing at his own gun.
VV as Retro finishes shouting at his own weapon.
Your laser finishes its last Weld and you're facing the wrong
way. There are 4 alligators coming
towards you from behind you. Yeah, so I don't have to like,
man, the gun as it's finishing right, I can.
The gun's finished. I'll Demount and about face and
I will take a shot at some of the ones South of me, you know.
It was just just. I thought you were just going to
use the laser again, but this is also cool.
Oh. If I'm if I'm able to if I am
able to do a. 100% could, because you're sitting in this
chair and you can kind of do that Star Wars thing where
you're. Like OK, yeah then I will I will
about face. I will about face the entire
laser to the South now that it's finished and.
Retro roll evasion. Oh, watch out, Retro.
Fuck. Fuck.
Where is it?
Where the fuck is it? OK, I'm.
I'm evading the owning my own evasion here. 15 Yes, that's
enough. You duck.
You duck the barrel. You almost got thrown towards
alligators. You duck the barrel.
VV You watch Retro Limbo The Barrel.
Oh my. Spine's out of alignment.
Oh shit. Oh shit.
And you point it towards these four creatures.
We'll fix that later. I'm going to one moment roll
again. 6% goes down on the meter and you fire this laser again.
And in total with the crafting and this shot, there is 12 more
percent removed. These three creatures are
vaporized by this laser. It is incredible.
You swear this time as you fire it, you can hear screaming as
the laser fires. As you feel the souls of these
people in this facility shrivel up and die.
That's. Cool shot.
Why? Why are you making that face?
I just heard. I just.
Felt the souls. Of 1000.
People cry out and. Watch.
I felt the souls of 1000 people cry out and then suddenly
vanish. And it's been Dale's turn.
Well, that's really profound. You're you're you're muted,
honey. I made shit.
Sorry. Mummy.
Are you my mummy? Mummy.
Because Vivi's thing is finished, may Iona start the
thing because they held their action.
Because you held your action, it's now time for the final
stage of fabrication, and the hot pieces move into the cooling
tube. You insert the chip and it
starts to do its magic. Kirk.
Kirk.
Clunk. I just wanted to get that going.
OK, Vendel's going to move toward these these fellows over
here, the the ones that just came out of Bay Three, right?
123-4525 is way too far to shoot.
But you know what? Let's have some fun Do.
You want to use. Any luck?
Oh, Bendel. Oh.
Bendel don't have luck. I don't think so.
Did you give Bendel work? Wendel have two luck, Oh Bendel
have two luck. Bendel have two.
Take it. Have fun 2 Have fun 2.
Luck. Alright, shoot.
Bang, no, no luck. 19 Not enough, no luck.
Is wide, no luck. Fuck.
I mean, I've got another shot, sideways shot like a like a
gangster make. Make it cool, Lindell.
Fuck you. That was not enough.
Fuck. Zero luck.
Yeah, so the creatures. Move.
And it's Iona's turn. As you're standing there, a
creature takes a few steps toward you and behind you you
hear the machine finish, because it is your turn and the box is
produced at the window waiting to be taken.
The hum from the machine stops, and now the only noise you
really hear is the weird underwater noise that you've got
used to and the noise of these beasts.
Squelchy, I'm going to take my flame gun.
Yeah. And and set this bitch on fire.
Bang. Yes. 23 Bang I'm.
Glad. I'm glad I did a lot of damage.
They do not resist the fire because I just rolled A4 and you
watch this beast. You watch this beast set itself
on fire. It loses a little bit of health,
but moreover, you've distracted it from attacking you and it
takes a step back. It is at this moment.
All right, can we can we grab the package and get the hell out
of here? Pirates should be coming into
this this room. You just come them in with with
the daters. Yeah, I.
Suppose OK, who's who's gotten them in?
The GM. The GM is guiding and then.
It is at this moment that one of you gets a who's.
Yeah, I own it. You get a call yours.
There's lots. Of fucking scary.
Glowy things out here. We know, we know.
Just coming to the Bay 38. Let me check.
I can't. I can't see this one.
Hold on, let me view no one, Bay one.
And as you say, Bay One, the large underwater vehicle pressed
into the water, I think in a bit of damage.
Get it down here. So we can get the.
Fuck out, all right? I I need help with the box and
we need to get out all. Right.
We'll get the box and let's go. I need help with the box.
It is quite heavy. Well, maybe if you didn't skip
gym day it wouldn't be so heavy. Do you know how many times I've
been shot in the shoulder? Do you know how hard it is to
rehabilitate after that? That's very true.
It is hard to rehabilitate. Yeah, you know what happens when
you get shot in the head and you have to get something else to
replace your head? Yeah, but your head isn't
lifting a fucking box. Well, it is now.
Actually, actually it comes. Through the box, Yeah.
All right, let's, let's. Help Iona and lift this thing
and get out of here. Jeb, stop staring at that wall.
Jeb, could you, Jeb, could you cover fire, please?
Yeah, I got you. Jeb, you stopped firing wildly.
It's like you're in a Looney Tunes cartoon.
You burn around around about 10 ammo in the process.
And Iona this. Is.
Really heavy. I don't.
Even. Doing.
Anything towards. Day One.
Evenly distribute the. Weight what we need a.
Force. Vendel Vendel.
Yeah, I'm coming. I'm coming.
Vendel helps and you load it onto the sub.
All right, Jeb, stop firing wildly.
What? Stop firing wildly.
Also, you don't need to make sound sound effects when you
shoot a real gun, Jeb. We're getting the fuck out of
here. Let's go.
I'm behind you. Oh my back.
You're gone the wrong way. It's this way.
Oh, I. Couldn't see them.
Jeb, you trail behind them, You jump into the the sub with the
rest and the box. And Iona, you're ready to call
Abbott? I I dial, I dial 477-4123
because that is Abbott's extension.
Do you have what you need? We do.
The frame is on the vehicle. We are all leaving Bay One.
Oh good. You left me more than 40% power.
The Cads would have been difficult without that.
Good luck. Good.
Luck. I really hope the afterlife is
less shitty than this. It will be.
Thank you. Try not to miss me too much.
And it cuts out. Who are you?
And then you hear, do you hear a klaxon, there is a noise?
Cats activated, Cats activated, Cats activated 30.
Seconds till cats activation. We're going to need to go now.
Why? Are we still here?
Hang out right here. And look at these fucking
alligators. I'm obviously.
Joking, no. No, no.
Pulls the the ship out of the area and speed off into the
water. You can hear alligators grass
groaning in the water as he zooms out into the depths and
you make your way back towards Night City.
Oh fucking my back hurts so much.
Let me blow my back out again. I can fix that
next time on no latency. Oh, I smell is.
Let's see. You do smell like salt.
Also that I can be both. He's honest, you know.
That was quite something we just went.
Through. Yes, very dangerous.
I'm just fine living the rest of my life on dry land.
Oh, hey, Ping. Ping.
Thank you plain. Strawberry sounds good.
Just a ginger ale would be lovely.
Do we not get the I thought we got the bio skin.
Health and Wellness checkups that we do after every big
mission. Yeah, holding that laser down
wasn't easy. I got a little hurt.
I didn't lose any. HP damage, easy to fix pretty
quickly Go. Ahead, turn it on.
We tuned in just in time. Yeah, none of us really have a
corporate end somewhere. That's so weird.
I wish we did. Iona, how's your casino doing?
We could go. So are we going to go get this
thing or? Yeah, yeah, we're going to go
get the thing. But like, what are we doing
tonight? That might be a fun night off
thing to do. Maybe blowing off a little bit
of steam might be a good idea. Let's go to the casino.
Thank you for joining us on our adventure once again here at No
Latency. Don't forget to follow us on
Twitter at No Latency Pod, check out our website at
nolatencypodcast.com. And if you'd like to support us
further, we have a Patreon get exclusive content, spin offs,
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listening. We literally couldn't do this
without you. And of course, we'll see you
next time in Night City. Thanks for listening, Jim.