Last time I'm no latency side quest.
Baby, are you running around the market already?
I need a Bang Bang. I've gone to multiple shops in
Night City to try to find a limited edition run of Danger
Gal Collector's item Cat Years. I heard you talking about cats.
Does the cat make it better? Cat years.
No, I'm looking for cat. Food.
Wow, I did not expect them to sparkle that way.
I think that's a pretty steep price.
Give you $500.00 for those. Years.
Can I try those on? Cat ears.
Are you going to put those ears on your gun?
Oh, that was awesome. What was?
That oh, shoot. Hey, put that burst out.
We should help them. Help them, they're people hurt.
Hey you stop. Give them their wallet back.
That is a very rude response to a reasonable request.
Roll for initiative and our combat begins with
Scabbard pulling out their weapon.
What do you do, Scabbard? Well, much like every other day
in his life, when the solo to Free Bird is playing, there are
no rules. So free.
Bird. Just full Kingsman mode, runs to
the first guy. Nice.
I assume they're I'm just assuming they don't have a gun.
I'm going to fucking just swing. Sure.
Swing for the fences. Yeah, I like that. 15-O rolls a
crit success 19 and dodges your first swing with your Cortana.
Your Cortana made out of quarters.
The thing about melee attacks though is you get 2 swing again.
Brilliant. So the first swing goes and
misses. He flips the blade in his hand
and swings back the other way. Oh oh.
You did not roll very well. Oh, no.
Oh.
No. Oh, your second attack also
misses now. You still have some movement
left if you want to move at the end of your attack.
That's fair. Need to be faster than that
motherfucker. My dad had that license plate.
If I was that proud of being fast, I'd be a very lonely man.
Dude, I'll just back up two steps.
Oh fuck, it's my turn. Bendel's going to kick the gun
out of that guy's hand. Who's Ken?
Who's gun What? The looter that's pointing a gun
at me. Oh him.
Yes, I'm I'm on it boss. And Bendel moves over to the
middle of this combat, grabs the civilian that that guy was
attacking, and throws them over the bench.
And the guy who sold you, the rulers and this civilian hide
behind this bench where they sell their shit.
And Bendell walks forward to this looter that attacks.
We're gonna, we're gonna kick with our power leg.
I've got a cyber leg bitch. No one points a gun at my boss
and gets away with it. Yeah.
And the looter tries to dodge the first kick.
Yeah. Dodge is the first one does not
dodge. The second one gets hit in the
chest for 12 damage and then he tries to dodge the last one and
is miserable at it because he's now been very hurt and he takes
another six damage which brings him under half health.
He takes a critical injury as Vendel makes the third kick.
They twist their foot around this guy's wrist and pull the
other way, ripping his arm out of his socket.
This guy's arm has been dismembered by he literally like
kicked off his body and he sails back to the ground and starts to
scream in pain. Oh.
Wow, it's not all. The This short guy has a knack
for disarming. I I have, I have a knack for a
lot of things. I'm I'm, I'm actually fucking
bad ass. Get fucked, mate.
Not you, the bad guy on the ground.
Yeah, cool. High 5.
High five, yeah. Sick.
And that means Vendel steps one step towards Scabbard to give
them a high five. And it's scabbard.
It is a crisp high 50. It was a high 5.
That was very good at high fives.
The kind that gets the freeze frame.
It is the kind that gets the freeze frame for the record
Bendellas. I I really like high fives.
Yeah, I like this too. Iona.
This one doesn't smell like the other guy.
The one with the the the quarters.
I bathe in public fountains. Cool.
Well, the the one that Vendell just kicked the shit out of
looks pretty, so I'm not going to I'll just leave them and I'm
going to go for the looter that is next to them, the one that's
on the ground and I'm going to pull out my Sanrue.
Hello cutie, Ultra K pistol and shoot.
You know, I might have to just kind of reposition myself a bit
here 'cause I got some Bendel just doing the high five with
the scabbard individual. It's kind of in the way.
So Vivi moves a little bit out of their way to get a better
shot. So let's see.
Excellent. You fire off this adorable gun
and it gains a lot of attention. It is probably the coolest thing
that's been fired here in a while because most of the time
it's a few shots and everyone scarpers, but this bright pink
bullet flies through the air and hits this looter.
He doesn't have an evasion of above 8.
You've shot him within range. Nice.
He gets hit for for 9 damage. Now he's not wearing very good
armor, so that does actually cause him some pain.
This one not so great though. Your second shot is not so
great. That is very astute of you with
that crit fail, although it's only a crit fail -1 you haven't
gone below 0. So instead the gun bullet fires
off. And unfortunately, because it's
a crit fail, you do shoot a glass cabinet behind the the the
looter. And you break this cabinet and
it shatters behind this guy, and this guy looks at you.
What the fuck you're going to? You're fucking insane.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm.
Explosives. Just give them the fucking
money. Oh God, sorry.
What? Oh fuck.
You watch like a grenade, land on fall and roll.
It doesn't hurt anyone. Everybody, everybody grabs their
heads and ducks for a minute. Oh no, it's OK.
And do you do anything else with?
You've moved a lot. You don't get to move.
Yep, that's all for me, Iona. All right, so there's the looter
directly in front of Phoebe, who had their arm pulled off.
Yeah, he's he's he's not doing so good.
And then there's the looter between Scabbard and the big guy
with the saw. Has that been addressed?
Was that the one that Phoebe just shot at?
Yes, this one on the ground. Ah, but I just saw somebody run,
run after that guy. I'm just going to step over the
guy with the arm that's. My.
Arm I didn't I didn't mean to step on you.
I, I I was just moving over you. You were just in my direct path.
This. Is just a tiny six second.
Move. That's it.
He's too far away for me to shoot, but while I'm over here
there I just wanted to to see there's two other looters and
someone else that I see. Or is that guy dead?
As you come out to the edge of this alleyway, you look to your
left and you see a huge visceral scorched mark on the ground.
It's covered in blood. In the middle is a leftover
human body which seemingly is the centre of the explosion.
All right, well, I've I've moved more towards the centre of the
action and I will remain here with my gun out.
Do you shoot anyone? The one hassling the tomb to the
north? I'm just going to pop in.
Cool, do it. Super Chrome sidearm.
You rolled A-16? That does hit, yes, and he takes
some damage. Fuck, what the fuck?
Sorry, stop stealing things from people.
The looter on the ground can't do a lot.
His arm has come off, He's he's dying and he he takes you're on
my call. D4HE takes one HP down.
One of the looters who has come in has stolen some money off
someone who is sitting on a bench and is just leaving.
He is running away, and he has a movement of five and gets close
to the edge of the street, getting further away from you
all. The looter who Iona just shot
takes a step away from the civilian, pushing this civilian
back into the blood, and they fall over and slip in it.
Oh. Gross.
Oh and the looter takes their gun out and shoots at Iona.
Oh he's only got a rate of fire of one.
And he also does awful on damage.
Like genuinely bad but he does hit you for.
As he sees this looter Eamon Fire Saw would like to take the
shot for her. Amazing.
I'd love that. Saw as a hero.
Roll for it. You are in the line of fire.
This is not actually that difficult. 13 Yeah, it's above
mid athletics. 13 Good role. You step in front of the bullet.
The DV to take damage is low. Welcome to Cyberpunk.
How's it going? And you take a bullet to the
shoulder. Now, Iona, he takes a bullet to
the shoulder. The shoulder, that's where I was
planning on getting hit. Oh, OK, little lady, I can take
it. It's well get him.
And it's your turn. Saul would charge this looter
that just shot him or you know, he took the shot for and he
wants to grab him. Roll a brawling Jack.
That's all you have to. Do 17. 17 Very good.
Yep. You both roll A-17, you get into
a stalemate, you go and grab him and he grabs you and you are now
interlocked with hands. He can't like he's gone.
Two wrestlers like when they meet up in the ring, Yeah.
With interlocked fingers and you're now like scrounging as
you push your two hands against each other.
The civilian scarpers away and you feel a twange of pain in
your shoulder as your left arm hurts more as the blood trickles
down your bicep. Get off me you stupid joom.
We don't we don't hurt innocent ladies at the night market.
Says you, you dumb fuck. I'm also not that innocent.
It's all right. You were asked to me.
I really wasn't though. Another of the looters has got
what they want and is running away.
The guy on the ground gets up and goes to attack saw getting
out their melee weapon. Oh, that's not going to be hard,
I think, to beat. Yeah, nice.
Even while grabbing this other guy, the looter goes to attack
you with this rebar he has. It's a pretty thick piece of
metal. He completely misses you and
Dings a little dent in the store bar that is in front of you.
With the such high evasion role, could I move the looter I'm
grappled with in the line of the swing of the rebar?
For a second attack, absolutely, I love that.
That's great. And he goes to attack you again.
Oh man. And the.
Looters in the way now. I will let you have this if you
beat a 17. I know that's a crit, but I
really like what you did so. Evasion again or do you want
brawling since I'm moving him? What did I say?
Did I stutter? No.
A little admittedly actually, but beat a 17, doesn't matter
how you do it. Argue it.
Because I'm grappled with him and SAW is very good with melee
weapons, I almost want to swing this looter at the other looter
as a melee weapon. Fantastic welfare.
Oh, OK. That's OK. 15.
So instead what happens is you do move this looter towards this
guy and you get pushed back a little bit.
The looter passes by you, you roll high enough that you don't
let go of this guy, but as you swing him around you time it
just wrong and you get hit in the side for eight.
Damn it again on your left side. All right, so he sees this man
with rebar attack a fellow connoisseur of the feline
variety. I might be new to the world of
cats, but I know that wasn't very cool and I'm just going to
run right in from behind to hit the jabroni with the rebar.
Now you're hitting him from behind.
You're going to pass one to hit for that.
Oh brilliant, I like the sound of that.
Most players do. That was bullshit on damage, but
that's a 19 that's difficult to hit.
Here's the thing, you're hitting him from behind, so he he has to
roll. Yeah, he didn't roll evasion
enough and you hit him with a sword made out of quarters and
cause him five damage. I'm not happy about it either.
Oh oh fuck. You get two hits with a mellow
weapon. Excellent.
And I come down with the back hands.
Keep the change. Oh, he does not.
Your one liner is really good but it makes him chuckle and he
dodges. He moves sideways.
OK with my remaining movements, can I slide over this desk to
cut him off? Yes.
Hell yeah. You slide over the desk like
you're in the Dukes of Hazzard movie over some kind of cool
American vehicle, and in order to make sure that it looks cool,
vote for. It Oh hell yeah, athletics for
that. I guess yes.
Or cool. Or street wise.
I'll, I'll do athletics then. Oh.
Oh, OK. Damn.
Athletics was the right choice. Athletics was the right choice,
yes. Well done.
You was 25 on athletics. In the words of the Prophet.
Joe Tarot, Jo Star, Yuri. Yuri Dizzy.
All right, you you rolled high enough on athletics that if you
want, you can push him to the South.
And I will. Push him five feet away from you
and he takes a back step like he's an enemy in a Power Rangers
episode. I can see that in my mind.
I know. And now it's my time.
It's Morphin to. No, it's not.
I mean, it's just fuck him up. Here's a sword.
Fuck you. Yeah.
So which everybody's engaged with everyone.
Yeah, Bendel passes by the the guy who they kicked their arm
off on the ground. And does Bendel come out of
their misery? Yeah, I was going to say, we're
just we're, we're just going to bring a foot down on his head.
Oh fuck. Oh Dang.
It's just, it's just going to be the quickest way.
Curb stomp, motherfucker. Just kidding.
It does happen. Here's the thing.
Yeah, it's just poorly. It's.
Just. It's a lot bloodier than we
expected. Iona.
No Vandel is so expected to be fight.
In this moment. But they.
Forget that you're standing right next to a.
Bloody girl. Oh God, and.
In this celebration, they power up their cyber leg.
Everybody who can, can can, motherfucker.
And they do like 3 very quick stomps on this person's face and
it's dense. It's deeper and deeper and
deeper with each hit. And with each hit, because this
is a crit fail, you get covered in splatters.
This tune's blood. Oh fuck, sorry.
I'm I'm going to finish my turn by attacking this guy.
No. That's.
OK, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
I'm oh gosh, this is going to be
bad in my review. Excuse me.
Excuse me? And they tap this guy in my
shoulder. Excuse me, turns around, take
this. And they flip their sword out
and jam it towards them. 16 Yeah, that's good.
Oh, they don't do well, do they? And Vendel causes a serious
amount of damage to this tomb. And he goes underneath, half
out, takes a a pretty bad attack to his chest.
You can hear the sword cut straight through a rib as Vendel
brings it back out of this tomb and his rib cracks and the guy
falls back next to scabbard and just collapses on the ground in
pain as he starts to bleed from this wound on his side.
Oh fuck, people aren't normally this tough of the market.
Fuck. You picked the wrong day, buddy.
Oh man, Iona, you look Oh. I don't want to talk about it.
I don't want to.
Talk about it very quickly if go through her medical bag and see
if she can find some sort of like she has like a bottle of
like a cleaning solution for blood.
No, don't wipe it off. That's metal.
She looks great. You don't.
You don't know. OK, that's fine.
They are very sanitary individual though.
It does look really cool Iona, I will admit.
Does it look cool? Does it look?
Cool, you look like a Jackson policy.
I'll do, I'll do a thumbs up. Double, double thumbs up.
You look, you look really bad. You look really badass.
You look really good. Badass too.
Hurry up and cleaner or something, because this guy's
this guy's slippery. Sorry, sorry.
Yes, I'll help. I'll come help.
I quickly toss Iona like a cleaning solution that's like a
big bottle, like a spray bottle, so they can quickly like try to
spray it off and then run toward the one that saw is wrestling
with. Sure.
And try to. I'm actually going to swap from,
well, if you'll allow me GM, because I know I'm doing a lot
and my little bonus action or my bonus action here, but I want to
swap to my bat potentially. Yeah, totally.
That makes perfect sense to me. Yeah.
You put your gun away. You take a this this spray
bottle, you throw it at the owner as you walk by, and then
you whip out your baseball bat and hit this guy from, I'm
assuming, behind. Yes, I'll just smack him.
Oh man, what these crit fails we're getting your.
First hit misses. Now you did not move far.
You moved like what, 20 feet? That's half of your, that's
under half of your movement. So you can attack with your
melee weapon again, but you won't get to move again.
So you can choose to retreat now or attack.
I'll just attack again. Cool. 21.
Better Oh. Yeah, fucked.
And you hit this guy for 12 damage and it's from behind, so
you get a bit more than. You would.
Oh dude that takes this guy under half health, you hear
something snap and he has a torn muscle.
He gets -2 to melee attacks for the.
Rest of. Time until someone fixes him for
a parent. Till forever.
Till forever because he's been really busy and you you've
really messed this guy up. Oh, I'm stuck between a cheer
and a baseball bat. Fuck.
Swing for the fences, Mama. Mama used to say.
Swing for the fences. It's a good line.
I I get this water part, this cleaning solution bottle from
Phoebe and I just rip the top off and just start pouring it
all over my head. And this mostly alcohol solution
washes away the blood on your outfit, which of course is wiped
clean because you're Iona and you feel this fresh, cool
feeling as this slightly minted cleaning solution evaporates
from your skin, a sensation that you revel and enjoy as you feel
clean once. Again, I might like this a
little too much. Scabbard is watching in total
awe. Just a boom, boom, boom boom
boom boom at the glass market of all places.
Hopefully you don't have any cuts or open wounds because that
would sting. My eyes are burning, my nose is
burning. I have a hangnail.
I can feel it. But you know what?
You're clean. That's all that matters.
And I'm, I just, honestly, I'm going to take my jacket off just
because it's weighing me down and I'm going to throw it onto
the bench behind me, OK? I'm going to sidestep BB and
shoot the running man OK? I do not have time to change
weapons but that's OK. Fuck.
Iona. As the final bits of the alcohol
evaporate from you, you see it steaming off your gun as it's
still warmed from its last shot, and you fire it at this looter.
And in this moment, it's not been very long.
You're holding an ignition source and you just covered
yourself in alcohol. That's OK, you rolled.
Hardly enough that instead of this hurting you, it just looks
incredibly cool. There's this flash of fire.
I just like burst into light. Yeah, as your bullet goes off,
it sails across this alleyway and hits this guy for 18 damage,
and he's going to the ground like a sack of shit, going under
half health. He also cracks his head against
the bench to his side and a bit of it splits off and sticks into
his chest. Oh fuck, what the fuck?
As this guy's like sitting there holding some dudes watch some
agent and a wallet. Sorry I I thought maybe you had
stolen more stuff but just don't steal so the.
One with saw is still kicking, not.
For much longer. Yeah, I'll take a swing at them.
Nice. He rolls a 12 for evasion, You
rolled a 22. You literally rolled 10 more
than this tomb and you hit him for 15 damage.
That's a lot of damage. He's not much longer for the
world. Maybe this will be the final
blow. Rolled 18, he rolls A9 on
evasion now that he's being grappled and as you hit him the
back of his head dents in and he just goes limp.
He's dead. Oh, it's awesome.
And his hands go limp in your hands and he just drops to the
ground. Oh, he's, he's dead.
Dead. Oh, he's dead.
He's fucked up. I don't normally like to like,
kill people that are just, I don't know, this guy's just a
looter, but whatever, he shouldn't have been looting.
I don't mean to interrupt you. I'm sorry.
I apologize. We got more peoples we got.
We got hurt. Yes, sorry.
Yes, yes. There is a looter in the
distance that full on just. He out.
Yeah, he's gone. The guy who just died takes his
turn. Nice.
And then, and then it saw his tongue.
This guy crumpled in front of him, but for some reason Saw's
fingers are still interlocked, like he doesn't know what to do,
so he looks around. Want to?
Get that guy. Yes, yeah, get that guy.
OK. And he runs over the guy who has
the piece of wood sticking out of his out of his chest and
just. You think it's wood?
Oh, oh, the the mysterious splinter that is sticking out of
his chest, this is. Nice and like anyone has money
for wood. Yeah, right.
Yeah, a natural resource, please.
And we'll run up above, you know, because he's on the
ground. So he'll hover above him and he
will go for his chainsaw and look towards the group like and
like. Oh yeah, sick fuck yeah too.
For a seal of approval. Iona is going to shake, shake,
head furiously no, and turn around and go.
You don't want to get splattered.
But we don't. Want to get splattered?
With Vendel's enthusiasm, he Revs the chainsaw and.
Just swings at the guy. On the ground all.
Right. Scabbard pulls down the ski
goggles. A watch. 18 nice, 10 damage.
Aw. So here's the thing.
That guy? Uh oh, he's in the ground,
right? You rolled 18, so yeah, he did
not roll high enough on evasion. He's on the ground.
He literally has as much health as you did damage, so he dies
underneath you in a splattery mess.
And, and as he's in this chainsaw, in his chest and blood
and viscera squirting up at him, he just raised it in the air.
I got him, I got him. Guys, good.
Job VV claps uneasily. You did it.
I like you. I think this one needs like
words of affirmation. I whisper to the others.
Please. Help me, there's one looter
left. He's on the ground, lying next
to scabbard. Would would you mind taking care
of that You you. My name is Scabbard.
Scabbard. Thank you.
Would you mind just you know. I'll keep it quick.
You're just gonna. Chop chop.
I have a sword I can chop.
Ha ha, fun. There he does like little
finger. Finger guns back here, he'll
just. He'll, he'll, he'll Crouch down
next to the sky. Do you have any last requests?
Get fucked. I'll see how I do with that
later tonight. I appreciate the the enthusiasm
though. It's it's very nice of you great
comments. No, not.
You're ready. I'm not a necrophile and we're
just going to slit his throat. In combat, he's over.
He takes out a cloth to wipe the Cortana clean and then back in
the six pack ring. Is anybody hurt?
This guy was. I mean, I got hit with like a
piece of rebar, but I think I'm OK.
Didn't you get shot? You also took a shot for me.
Oh. I took a yeah, but.
Oh. Shit, you can.
You got a bullet. You turn to sore and he's like
bleeding from his leg. Oh, no, it's it's, it's fine.
Don't. Don't worry about.
It no no, no I I will help you. It's only a flesh wound.
It's fine. Hey, they can still get infected
and that gets that gets real nasty so and.
You just you don't want. You get the bar rag and you put
it on it. That's what they tell me.
Oh dear, Oh dear. That's not.
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Maggie RPG. OK, I take it.
Yes, so that I guess that means you don't normally get proper
medical attention. So I will help you out.
I'm a medical professional. Look, I'm not I I don't mean to
be rude. I can't.
I don't got any more euro bucks. It's it's, it's on the House.
I just help people. Between the cat food and the
drum magazine, I'm I'm, I'm skint.
That's all right. Just I, I, I am just here to
help. I apologize, I didn't properly
introduce myself to you when we were talking about cats earlier.
And as she, she's going to do this as she's patching you up so
you're not like bleeding out. So VV will begin to start
patching you up. And and and Saul will will take
his trench coat off his shoulder and on his arms you see light
tattoos of cats. OK, you really like cats.
I look, I'm not I'm not a liar, OK?
I have I have a cat. His name is Mastophiles.
Mastophiles. Mr. Mastophiles, he likes to be,
you know, proper. I see.
Well sorry I I keep getting a little distracted here.
My name is Vivi. Hi Vivi, I'm saw.
Saw saw with the cat. Sarcophagus.
Yeah, it's my stage name. Sarcophagus your stage name are
Are you a performer? Yeah, I'm the lead
singer-songwriter, guitarist for a neo death metal band.
Yeah. Oh wow, neo death metal.
I have not. I'm more of a pop punk kind of
person, but I'd be I'd be open to listen to your to your neo
death metal, yeah. You've never heard of Corpo
Corpse? No corpo corpse.
Yeah, we play at Toten Taunts like every weekend.
Wow, wow. Well, you know what, I'll have
to grab the gang sometime to to come check them out.
Check. It's a hell of a time.
Yeah, yeah. And, and and you.
OK. So you as Vivi is continuing to
just kind of like put some gauze on the after.
I assume that there was a bullet in there.
Yeah, Yeah. This might sting a little bit.
Just one moment. And here comes the the
disinfectant. So it's going to feel just a
little worse for just a minute. You go to look for disinfectant
and realize that you are out of disinfectant.
You gave it to Iona. Crap, I gave Iona all of my
disinfectant. It's it's, it's fine.
It's fine. Soap and water will also help at
some point, just make sure you clean the wound.
What about just just water? Soap and water would be good,
antibacterial soap if you're, you know, real fancy, but any
soap will do. And because of your lack of
sanitizer, cleaning spray. Oh no.
You only get to give him one D6 health but her order six, so
that's pretty good. OK, this isn't my best work, but
you know what? Again, we'll just have to make
sure that the wound is clean. I I appreciate the good gesture,
I really do. Of course.
And VV is going to OK, if just if you just forgive me a minute,
I want to check the explosion over there because I think it's
a little. I just I want to what's the what
happened? Yeah, I I would like to see what
happened here because I think this is a little more than just
some looters coming in to loot the place.
Vivi will walk over toward the viscerated spot.
And you step over to this bloody mess on the ground.
What's remains of this tomb here in the glass market?
The scorch and stain of their blood can be seen glistening in
the neon lights of the street. Can I take a closer examination?
Sure, you'd have to roll for it. Yeah.
Oh, eighteen, yes. So a few things around this body
that you notice. One, the body was the source of
the explosion. The body was OK.
Two, they had a lot of cyberwear.
They had a cyber arm that has exploded and you find that most
of their batteries and storage in those items has overloaded or
exploded and he's lost a lot of blood.
It is everywhere. You can smell it in the air
around the explosion and the whole everything in the air
around this body overly smells of iron like the air.
Oh. And because you rolled so high
on perception, you also notice that across from the explosion
is where there's a net runner who sells net runner stuff, and
he's got a security camera that points right at where the
explosion happened. Oh, this is I, I yell back to
the the rest of the group. This is this guy exploded
straight up. That's awesome.
Like, like there was no bomb. He he was the bomb.
Yes, it might have been like cyberware overheating or
something. It might have been some
cyberware he had overheated and caused him to explode.
Possibly unclear. And at this point you see saw
take out a little notebook and he writes something down real
quick. What are you?
What are you writing down? Internal bomb malfunction.
Good song name. Internal bomb malfunction.
I like that you have a band. Yeah, yeah.
What, what what? What's it called?
Corpo corpse. Corpo corpse.
Yeah, yeah. Neo Death metal.
Yeah. Nova.
Well, that's fun. Did you tell Vivi about it?
Sounds like something she'd be into.
She she loved it. She said she's going to come see
me play. Oh good.
You know what? We should all come see you play.
You should. Yeah, I.
And look, I know you don't believe me.
My cat comes on stage. It's our, it's our number one.
Like Crowd Bringer is there's a live cat on stage.
We love animals. My friend has a duck.
That is true. You know we saved a real cat
once. Yeah.
My cat's real. It was our first Comic Con
panel. What's Comic Con?
I don't know, sorry, had a brain fart.
No, but I'd look. I did a job and the guy, he
asked me what I want and I've all my mom always said, she said
saw you're getting too big for the apartment, you got to move
out. And I said what am I going to
do? And she said, I don't know, get
a cat or something. And then I've always wanted one
because she told me to get a cat.
How is a cat supposed to help you find a place to live It's.
Probably the sense of smell I'm. Sorry, I shouldn't be judging
your mother. We all have our methods.
I'm glad you found a cat. Yes.
It smells bad here. Yes, the smell.
Of booster bar. Yeah, I I do have to show you
something, saw. Will you show me?
I, I, I'm wearing like a, a broad shouldered tank top and I
just pull it to the side on the same shoulder that you got shot
and I said thank you for taking that for me.
You think I need to take any more on this arm?
Look. And you see on Iona's shoulder a
very deep scar that looks like it's been hit in the same spot
several times. Several times.
I I didn't want I I know you called me stinky, and it's
probably true. I'm.
Sorry, I mean, it's true, but it's true.
It's a fair assessment. I haven't showered in a couple
days. All right.
And, and and but, you know, you, you you didn't shoot me away
like some, you know, if I was like vermin or something like
that. So the guy was aiming a gun at
you and I wanted to take the shot for you.
Look, I'm a big guy. I can take it OK.
I I appreciate it and I mean both of you are such a help
during this. I I didn't know you could cut
someone up with quarters. It took a while to make it.
I will say I sat on a street corner.
I just put my hat down because my head was itchy.
People started throwing coins into it.
Wasn't sure why. I turned him into something
useful, I think. I would say.
So yeah, you cut that guy up. It was cool.
I did. It was no.
Fun. Yeah.
A money sword, huh? Yeah.
That's pretty metal, my Cortana. I call it the money maker.
Well, I mean it it. It was made of money.
It's it's literally made of money.
It does demonetize people. Oh, that's funny.
Yay, corporal. Who knew, man?
BD Are you like medically examining that?
Yeah, I'm going to take a look at this and maybe actually
Vendel, maybe you can or some or somebody ask this, this net
runner guy if if they wouldn't mind, maybe if they have some
footage of what happened, maybe we could take a closer look.
I'm going to examine the body. Iona.
Yes. I think you're the face in this.
All right. Do I have any?
Can I have both of you as big strong backup just in case?
OK, I'll I'll hang out with BV. All right, you BB VS big sell
backup. People say I'm imposing.
Yeah. Keep the Blood on the chain side
has the imposing vibe. Oh, this thing hasn't been
cleaned in ages. Oh my God.
Yeah, I we can see that. And you walk up to this net
runner in a booth who's just cleaning up his staff and
locking up some cabinets, putting the protective cover
over some of the stuff in here and just closing up shop.
Excuse me, I I see you have a surveillance camera.
Oh, yeah, No, I do. Yeah, Yeah, I do.
And I I see that it is pointed towards the viscera.
I mean, I guess, I guess. Yeah.
Are you all right? Does this, does this person seem
all right to you guys? This.
Seems fine to me, yeah. He's trying to flex in front of
you badly. Well, I would like access to
that footage from, you know, when the guy exploded.
Oh yeah, yeah, sure, sure. Well you did get the looters
before they tried to steal my shit, so if I mean I I might
give it to you for free maybe. I would expect you to give it to
me for free, seeing as we protected the market.
Row for it. Oh sure, absolutely.
I did just spend all of my improvement points on Persuasion
so. You know, just just have the
camera. And he pulls the camera off the
wall. It's magnetic and he just hands
it to you. You can have it.
You're all at 25. Thank you.
What's your? You now have a security camera.
You're welcome. What?
What's your name? Sam.
And this is your booth.
You run this or do you run this for someone else?
I'm garden Sam GS. Garden, Sam.
All right. See you on the shrubbery.
I don't know. I'll remember.
I'll remember that. Thank you for the camera.
You're welcome. You're all really high and you
saved us so. I.
You could see him chastising himself for some reason as you
walk away from the booth. I'm just going to add 2 luck
points to this just because. Sure.
Something tells me I might not roll.
Great. Oh, I guess I rolled OK.
So you add 2 luck to that, That's 22.
OK, so according to the little thing I have there, you rolled
very high, scammy. Patient has this lended on
scammy arm capacitor overload before detachment scanning.
All installed side Ware overloaded or destroyed.
Scanning biomass results. Major iron deficiency detected.
Scanning Deceased iron levels at 2%.
Scanning airborne particles detected.
Scanning atmosphere Scanning Patient thought detected
atmosphere contains high concentrations of airborne iron.
Scanning Referencing medical database error.
No connection error. No connection scanning.
Huh. Possible cars iron in
atmosphere. Scanning Possible cars for iron
in atmosphere. Dead patient scanning complete.
Iron. The iron floating in the air was
originally in this guy's blood. What?
The heck? You've rolled really high and
there's an unknown compound in any of the blood that that is
left. This is I've never seen anything
like this before. This person, the iron in their
system, left their body and is currently in the air.
EW. We are breathing this person's
iron. Gross.
I Iona don't come over here. You'll breathe blood.
Why does it taste like pennies? Should we?
Should we lie to Iona? Scabbard's going to offer a
bandana to her. You might want to put this on
your face. Bless you.
I appreciate the the offer but I'm not going to take cloth from
a stranger, but thank you. I cleaned it this morning.
Did you? I'll I'll take it and I will
sanitize it. I did I.
Did sanitize it. Hell yeah.
Wait, so are you telling me, little doc, are you telling me
that it's like raining blood right now?
Sort of is, yeah. A good song name, Raining Blood.
You're getting a lot of inspiration tonight for.
This is a great night, yeah. But this is I've in my I don't
want to give how many years I've been in in the field.
In my years of experience, I have not seen something like
this before. This must be something I it's
something to do with their cyberwear.
I assume their cyberwear was like frayed at all, like totally
messed up already. So something must have set it
off. Well, I have the camera.
Oh yes. Do either of you know how to
work this thing? I don't have like a port to plug
it into or anything. I think we just.
Press or what kind of? Yeah, what kind of camera is it
actually? It's a magnetic portable
security camera that this net runner was using to watch over
their stall. Obviously only when they were
selling stuff, so they would remove it.
They gave it to Iona. It's got a little screen on the
back. You can review footage and
everything. I guess we could just watch it
from the camera. I owner if you flip the plastic
panel on the left, there's a little screen see.
Oh, I'd flip up the screen. There's probably this last
recording, right? Yeah, I'm clicking a bunch of
buttons and I hope I don't delete anything.
You press play, there's a big play button on the screen.
Oh, it made it idiot proof. Tech kind of has to be like that
in Night City. And you watch this guy, this
delivery guy, cycle in the background, park his bike.
He walks into the night market with a bag from a company called
Neon Freeze. And then he pulls out a little
flask from his bag, unseals the straw and takes a big sip.
And he's sort of looking around for some stuff.
And then you see him clutch his stomach.
His eyes glow. He bends fully over and then
explodes. Ha, well anybody heard of Neon
Freeze? Has anybody heard of Neon
Freeze? I'm going to go with Streetwise.
What did we say it was branded on?
It was on the cup he drank from and unsealed.
It was on the bag that he was carrying.
He was wearing a Neon Freeze uniform.
He was a Neon Freeze delivery guy.
OK. I'm.
Going to search search it up. You go to search on the garden
and can't because you can't get a signal out here.
Shit, right? You rolled really well, but it
doesn't matter because you can't get a signal out while there's
no line in the air. Is there an advertisement
anywhere? Huh.
It's very smart. Look at you.
You look around for an advertisement.
You walk down to where you had the fight, past the guy who was
selling grenades who's now completely locked up all of his
stuff, and kind of gives you a look that nods at you.
Thanks. And then right at the end the
green sign flips to the advertisement from the map and
says Neon Freeze gives you an address to the east.
Going to ride it down very quickly.
It's near subway station 7. Subway 7.
Perfect. I also rolled streetwise. 18 on
neon freeze. Yeah, I've.
I've been there before. You've been to Neon Freeze.
What is it? It's like a drink place.
You get like frozen drinks. You could put drugs in them.
It's it's affordable. That sounds a lot like a
business that I invest in a bubble cafe.
Wait a second, Vivi is the bubble cafe drugs?
You can get drugs in them, yes. You're an you're an investor.
Investor I well, I'm like a major patron of theirs and I've
saved their cafe a few times, so I consider myself an investor.
Wait, the one that's just down the street Yonder?
This way. Something like that.
They have the comfiest benches inside.
I thank you for saving my favorite nap time.
They're pretty great and you know, if you go inside and tell
them you're Vivi's friend, they might give you a bubble, a
bubble tea on the House. As you say that and you say the
word Vivi's friend saw just lights up.
From a friend. I mean, look, we just, we just
took some bullets together. Trums who take both together,
you know, we, we stay together. And he's in a go like motion to
give you a hug. Oh, oh, and she, she, she's
going to because it's like, oh, this, this poor sad man.
And he's hug you very tight. I don't have much many friends
in in this city, so it's nice and and one that can then stitch
my flesh up. That's that's that's worth
something now. What flesh was a choice?
Cool. And and and and now you could
say that you're sauce friend. Yeah, I can and I can get into
what was the name of that club you said.
It's the Maelstrom Bar. Oh.
Corporal Corpse. That's my band name, yeah.
Maelstrom Bar. But you're going to come, right?
You say. You're going to come to a show.
Yes, yes. If we will come to a show.
I get you tickets. We love getting free tickets to
things. But yes, yes we do.
Vivi's friend. I like that.
Vivi yes. Are you now going to make us
work out why this man exploded? Yes.
OK. Next time on no latency side
quest. Look, I don't really trust this
neon freeze place. Is that what happened?
His iron dissipated from his body and he exploded.
Yes. It is a pleasure to meet all of
you. We have team now too.
Is that what we're doing? So we demand answers.
Well, come on Miss Vivi, let's get out of here then.
Well, you should have shot him or something.
Or are we waiting to see the effects?
What else did we really think was going to happen to this guy?
This is good for evidence. Good.
Use a new shoulder pauldron. I think they look cool.
They have to get the approval of some exact.
Maybe let's let's see if there's any other deducing we can get
done first. If you're a little klepto, can
you help me get this cash register open so you?
Got a thing with cleanliness, don't you?
A little bit, yes. Do you think this stuff is safe
to drink? Thank you, it makes the cash
register noise when I kill somebody.
Got any crystal cats? Personally, I like making
friends. Is Vendel right?
Should we not be trusting these people?
Thank you for joining us on our adventure once again here at No
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next time in Night City. Thanks for listening, Jim.