Last time on no latency side quest.
Hello, Nick. That's wild, but I'm taking it
anyway. Do I think the cat ears are
necessary? We don't king shame in this
household. I think this man's a saucy baca.
Does really go to the effect of why they keep telling people,
not the fact that mimics. Mimics are very useful.
Aren't they camera 2? Sound speed.
April Anonymous Network 54 We. Immediately changed the thrifty
after. Camera 1.
Your mimic was almost like your accountability partner.
Robotic. You really blew that one.
You think we would all notice that?
Kevin, you just shot Nick Santos.
My interview subject. Did I shoot Nick Santos?
Yeah, get dead. Nick, are you a mimic?
Thank you. Thank you very much.
It is Christmas, isn't it? No, but I'll do it anyway.
Get you to this show. Buddy.
I'm going to just sever the head off that thing right now.
I don't. I don't trust it.
I don't trust it After what? After everything just happened.
Retro first thing, voice in the sky, the other mimic change
shape. Is that something that it can do
willingly freely? Yes, it can pretend to be a
person using small holographic projectors.
Retro, thank you for turning the fuck off a question.
If I wanted to reuse this thing for whatever reason, would you
be able to fix it up fairly easily?
Or was that, you know, kind of all and all and nothing killing?
Of me, yeah. Yeah.
Could could you put that back together by chance?
And then? I mean, I, I could, I just, this
is all new technology for me. So I don't know how to be able
to like keep whatever like how their connection is to it, if
you get what I'm saying right. So.
OK, OK, however. I think I know what you're
saying. I think I get what you're
saying. Yeah, you know, you know, you
know, use what you got for what you can.
Take it with us, we can take it with us, right?
Yeah, if you don't mind. Anyway, I love that every time I
since I've met you and your friends, Retro, my life has been
nothing but an adventure. And I want to say thank you from
the bottom of what remains of my heart for that anyways, to the
bottom of where my heart is of the building.
And then it's going to, I'm going to start walking out.
Yeah, Devon and Retro now are dragging this headless body.
Retro is holding their head with one hand and the body with the
other. And as they walk towards the
front door of this penthouse, you get a phone call.
Bring bring banana phone. Hey, April.
Hey, how's it going? Oh, quite exciting.
How are you? Great.
I trust that there have been no like hiccups or scandals because
we are being paid for this interview.
Oh yeah? Well, we're having a grand old
time. How are you?
Great. Doing great.
Doing great, really. Wonderful, we'll get the.
Footage soon, right? Oh yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, with Nick Santos. You're gonna go with him to the
concert? Oh, absolutely going.
That long? It's gonna.
Be great tonight. If he's late, we'll be blamed
and you'll be fired. That kind of stuff.
Yeah, absolutely. We're on our way.
We're making it happen. So everything's going
swimmingly, no problems. Oh, we're we're making it
happen. That's why you're not sending me
the footage yet. Oh, I can't.
Hello. Hello.
Can you hello excuse? Me, me and Nick are getting
ready to head to the concert, so I've got to let you go.
I'm very busy. OK, OK, we're in.
The midst of everything. Is there something you need from
me right now? I can.
I can hear traffic, are you not? Inside and you're standing next
to the window that retro broke open.
We're getting, we're heading to the concert.
I'm going to need to let you go, but is there anything you need
for? Me.
Just just calling you to remind you that your job's on the line.
OK, bye. OK, bye, weirdo.
All right, let's go. All right, friends, let's get
going. Oh, I, I, I love that.
I love, I love that threatened with their job and they're like,
oh God, dude, it's so weird. Threatened my job.
Thank you dude. I'm April, Anonymous Network 54.
Yeah, I know. Does anyone explore any other
part of this apartment before you leave?
As much as I am a little shit, I, I do, I, I'm going to behave
like a little shit. But yes, I do know my job is on
the line. We do need to get downstairs.
We need to get moving. We got to go.
We need to find like a car though, right?
There's a thing down in the ball, in the guitar.
Is also in the bowl. Yeah.
I need to go. We need to go downstairs.
Before we go downstairs, I just want to make sure that.
I do wish I knew something interesting here, but.
Something interesting or incriminating or anything I can
use as leverage later for nefarious reasons like drugs or
alcohol, right? Drugs.
Late. I'm going to lose my job.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I care. I care about that.
Yeah, you should, because I'm. Saying I've written yes.
And if we're late, I'm not paying you.
That's. That's what I'm going to do.
Dumb amount of money. Crap.
Quick, quick check. All right, open.
What door are you opening? Because there's a door in front
of you. Yeah, there's no in front of me.
All right, open it. Well, I'll do.
Can I do a quick check as well, just for anything?
If he's doing a quick check, I'm going to do a quick check for
anything. Yeah, yeah, sure.
You're in a large living room. It's quite long.
On one side of you there is ATV, which is always on.
And on the other side of the room there is also ATV which is
always on and the window cracked to your N There are a few
cabinets in here. Yeah, real quick, just.
Yeah, both of you, Romia D6. Oh, you find one thing expensive
Shades. Nice.
I'll be taking the expensive shades, the I'll be taking all
three, the toilet paper, the expensive shades, and the synth
code. And April finds expensive shades
as well, very cool ones. No, we're not.
We're not the guys. We're not robbing Nick Santos.
One would say I'm saving Nick Santos since he has Sith coke in
his house. We're.
Not robbing Nick Santos. I'm paying you a lot of money.
We're not robbing my my client. You know what?
You're right. You know what?
I saw the error from my ways. But they're Oakley's.
I'm going to put the expensive shades away.
You're right, the shades stay. It.
Says as his hand slips under his jacket and goes back while
holding the toilet paper in his other hand.
And you look at the toilet paper.
It's a good toilet paper. It's nice toilet paper.
It's 7 ply Oh. April.
No, even the toilet paper. You can take the toilet paper,
but you can't take the synth coke.
You know what I Devin gives you A.
What synth coke? Look, it's already in his
jacket. Oh, OK, all right.
You can have toilet paper, but not the shades.
Yeah, yeah, Shades, we're not right.
That's too far. Anyway, the toilet paper is
funny, and you know what? I'm here for a laugh.
Yeah, yeah. But I'll leave you, Cher.
Oh yeah, I got you, April. Our butts deserve the cleanest
of wipes. The cleanest of wipes.
The wipes. Only the best for April.
Anonymous Network 54. And it's a it is, after all,
Christmas. Your butt deserves the best.
Retro doesn't know any of this, because as Retro's been waiting
for the elevator, they've been editing the interview as best as
they can. Nice.
So they try. So they try to edit it to get
all of that bad stuff, but then also still has a raw copy as
well. Nice roll for it 31 Yes it is in
8K and looks fantastic. Even the sound is good.
Camera 1, Camera 2, Camera one and we.
Still had some good footage in there.
Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, you didn't get enough time
to to put the head back on the mimic, and it has a basic puppet
function. You can position it in a
position and it will look like a person, but it cannot move,
automate, shoot, or do anything because it requires a server
connection to do that. And then they'd know you're
coming. Oh.
Got you. Ow, that's still helpful.
Are you going down to the basement?
Let's do it, yes? Yes, please.
Now burn you're Now we end up burning.
All right. And you head down to the
basement of the apartment building.
Yeah, walk on down.
All right, it's so scary. Yeah, this is a big warehouse.
April, do you follow the other two in?
Yes. All right, move to where you
stand. Yes, I'm here.
Everyone roll perception. That's always a good thing.
That's more of a Jeb thing. One more for Lamar.
Oh, no perception. Perception.
Regular perception. That's under awareness I'm
assuming. Yes, it is.
Yes. 1615 Yes. Good.
Yes, you all roll enough to notice that there are three
security robots in here. They are in patrol mode.
Oh shit. At the end of the room is a
large vault door. On your right are a bunch of
crates and water crates for the various water dispensers
throughout the building, and on your left are more water crates
and a bunch of crates for storage.
There are two more doors slightly ahead of you to the
right and left the. Security bots?
Are they carrying weapons or are they just security cameras with
legs? Retro notices that they all have
Tasers. Oh yeah, the X-75 Tazebot.
Do they have coffee breaks? Do you think I can flirt my way
out? I don't know, it would be pretty
shocking. Ouch.
Ow I have AI have a plan. It's stupid, but it might work.
Stupid plans are my favorite plans.
I'm gonna take the puppet and put it right near the where I am
sitting, where I'm standing, and I would like it to look like
Nick Santos. All right, it looks like a very
stiff Nick Santos, like his third album.
I would like him to stand as naturally as possible with his
hands on his hips and I'm going to attempt to mimic his voice
goes. I need help accessing my my
Vault role. Role acting and stealth.
You may use luck if you want. Acting and stealth.
All right, So one of those I'm probably good at.
Perform acting's in performance, yeah.
Yep, Yep, Yep. Hold on, I'm trying to do a
health rule here. Nope.
Don't do that's wrong.
Nick Santos pulls out a gun. Can I instead try persuasion as
I'm trying to persuade these robots to believe that it is
Nick Santos Think. But it will be slightly more
difficult. At least be good.
As you're saying this, the robots surround you, and now
they're very, very close to you. Yep, Yep.
Hey.
Guys, you are now boxed in by the Nick Santos statue and three
robots. Hey, do we know what the what is
the mimic made of? Metal.
Just metal. Yeah, it's a robot and it has
like a cloth covering and then it can project over that.
It doesn't feel like a human if you touch it.
Oh, OK. So it is a metal, metal polymer.
It doesn't have like like a rubber S plastic kind of feel to
it. Parts of it do, like the
fingertips and the eyes. Oh, OK, we.
Haven't distracted. You do haven't distracted Devon.
Yeah. You got the robots pretty,
pretty annoyed with you. Yeah.
Can you like, I don't know. Shit my face.
Running slide over to us. Roll Athletics.
Deb, I'm going to look at the robots and go, hey guys, bottom.
For YouTube channel, it's great to see you.
Guys, by the way, look over there, it's a Kitty.
Try to slide over hey. Fritz 27.
Devin slides out of the way. Holy shit.
I'm the worst exec in the planet.
Oh my God. That's so, so funny.
I would like as soon as Devin takes a running leap to slide to
us and the robots, you know, light up their Tasers to shoot
the water barrel here. Nice, very smart.
I like that inspiration. Roll for it.
Thank you. That's very smart.
I didn't even think of that. That's really smart. 23 yes,
water cascades over all of the robots as they tase and they
tase the Nick Santos spot. They tase each other and they
all fry and fall to the ground. Well done, combat avoided.
Nice work Devin. Good way to get them all set up
for that. Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's that was the plan. Folks, welcome to dungeons and
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around the table. Genius plan.
I would never have thought of that.
I. Only got once you had them all
surrounded and and you and and you and you did that.
I was like. Oh, genius.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Use the water.
April, you grabbed a really good shot of that cool move and now
you have the footage, yes. And saved can.
You just copy that. I'm going to need that from.
I'll send you a copy of that later, yeah.
Yeah, I'm going to need. That Oh yeah.
Oh yeah. It's going to be brilliant.
I'm I'm going to also like as soon as the ground all the
electricity grounds out, I'm going to make sure to grab the
mimic and drag its ass over to the vault.
It it took a pretty big beating. You're going to have to repair
it for it to function like an image statue again because it
did take a lot of electricity damage, wasn't electrocuted, but
it was shocked. Yeah, I I would not be, I would
not be surprised if it didn't have a resistance to it.
Nice, so you you kneel down and start working on the robot.
I'm pretty, I'm pretty grounded when it comes to this.
Grounded and April, you step forward along with Devon and
Retro to the front of this vault underneath this apartment
building. It is grand and cyberpunky.
Let's find our mark. Yeah, we'll we'll figure out
what phase to go to. Nice.
Do you look around anybody? Yeah, I'll take short.
I mean, I guess I'll just have to repair the pod.
So it's going to be up to April and Devon to kind of look around
then. April yes, 17 You notice that
the large vault door has a little computer next to it that
requires a iris scan, and the door is very secure.
You did a report on it once. The company that makes them
installs them in rich people apartments and the rich people
store their expensive stuff in there.
This one, they saved a little bit of money because there's
also the elevator control circuit inside the vault.
OK. Retro fixes the bot and it can
do this fakery one more time. Yeah, I'm, I just, you know, got
my knitting needles out and made sure to, you know.
I wonder. Crochet a good mesh for it.
I wonder if the iris scan will be fooled by the mimic.
That's really small. Worth a shot.
That's really small. I mean, we could try it's.
Worth a shot. Here.
Here you go, miss Anonymous. It has only one shot.
One opportunity. Do we want to use our umbrella
on this got it because we can only use the umbrella once
earlier and so this is their one shot.
It's It was a bad joke, I. Think I might.
No, no, no, no, no. I think it's a good joke.
It's a very good show. Thank.
You thank you very much. I appreciate it.
They can't all be here. I I got caught in my my head for
a second because I just realized something because I was
recording and I have this all, all the film stuff to my head,
yes. I just change my face to have an
image of Nick Santos. That's true too.
That's a terrifying thing that you can do.
So that's. Absolutely terrified.
I'm just going to convert into NAD Evans face and do it.
That is absolutely terrified. Terrified.
I mean, what? Uh oh, What could possibly go
wrong? Miss.
Miss April. I must.
Try and use your new face on the
lock retro. Sorry to interrupt.
You yes, I would like to try to see if I can pull it off.
Cool, give it a shot. Roll acting.
Oh. I'm not good at that.
I know roll acting. Can I assist?
If you want. So.
You don't. You didn't even just help.
Just just no. No, it did help because just
hearing April Anonymous offer me help has caused me.
To put on. The performance of a lifetime.
You just have to think that you're get in touch.
So Retro looks over to the lock, the locks tries to scan his face
and says Era glass and then he looks at it again and says open.
The fucking door. In a perfect Nick Santos
impression, and the door opens. Oh shit, had a voice lock too.
Awesome. I, I, I was just, I was just
having a high thought when I said it.
And you still have, you still have one more charge on this
mimic. Yay.
Oh. My goodness.
Wow, that was really impressive. Yeah.
I don't do it that often. It's kind of creepy.
April, do you go into the Yeah, let's.
Do it Nick you in here. Nick is not in here.
Oh, it seems his safe room is somewhere else.
What is in here on a table in the middle of the room is his
guitar case. And you also need to get the
firmware. Bless you the firmware to his
safe room. Because there's our sound effect
for when I sneeze. Nice.
Got you. Got you.
Sorry, that's the guitar and the firmware.
Firmware. Yeah, for the for the safe room.
Yes, which is not here. Yes, yes, that, that, that makes
more sense than what I was doing.
I don't know where my brain was. I was, I was too impressed by
the acting. Thing glorious.
All right, so I guess we got to bring this guitar with us and
firmware find the safe room. I hold on.
I, I I opened the case. You open the case.
Oh yeah, it's unlocked. It requires no skill check.
Inside is a guitar, a nice 10. Not a euphemism.
OK, not a euphemism. It does not look like a penis.
It is red and it is signed by Nick Santos.
It is very expensive. You know what, actually, now
that kind of drops my my reparation for Nick Santos
because he plays a guitar that he signed himself.
It's his guitar brand. I know it's just, it's like,
it's like the person who it's like a band who wears their band
shirt when they go to play. Yeah, yeah.
Well, it's a little cringe. Well, you have the guitar case,
you do not have the firmware. As a.
April, do you look around? As I drink tea out of my own
merch mug. That perception check was a
little that fell. There.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that one. Tea time.
By April. Anonymous merch everyone.
Which you can get at the link down below if.
That was the best. I mean, Can you imagine drinking
from your own merch latency? Mugs.
Buy them today. Yeah, because someone, someone
send me a no latency mug. I would drink out of it.
Because it's a cup that you can buy from nolatencypodcast.com.
Exactly. Exactly.
I'm so sad I don't have merch that I can actively use this.
Week send Lamar money for no other reason than he's great.
They'll get 2 thumbs up in the mail.
They aren't deliverable, they'll just feel it.
I'll personally. Please not have sex if you.
Want the Internet? Anyway, so you're there with the
guitar case in the vault and you do not have the firmware.
Oh, we. Do not have the firmware.
And where's the firmware? Perception.
Have. Checked perception 15 Yeah,
you're looking through the the lockers in here and you find a
few that are labeled Nick Santos.
You find 3 and they contain these objects.
What's this obsession with cats? There's a cat doll in here.
Why? I mean, cats, you're great.
It's a plushie, it's quite nice. Oh, I will take that.
I'm not as big a fan of the sequel but I mean the new songs
just aren't as good. Nothing was going to top RAM.
That's a That's a deep note latency cut right there.
April, do you have a look around?
I do a hum a few bars. Romy a perception 13 right?
You find 2 things. You find a microphone cable and
an Eddie chip worth 35 eddies and between the two of you, you
also find a chip that is the firmware for the safe room.
It says backup firmware safe room on it in a little poster.
Great, great. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, Miss April, we're going to have to give that to Retro
because I guarantee. Do you know how to update
Formware into a security system? No, absolutely not.
We're definitely giving him the firmware.
Yeah, just making sure. I know nothing retro, I know 0
things. All right.
Do you grab that stuff and head out?
Oh, I do, yeah. Did you not hear me?
No. What do you do well for?
I didn't take. The microphone cable in the Eddy
chip, oh, you looked not in. Oh you did look apartment
anymore so I don't feel as bad about it.
OK so I can take this cat doll. Yeah.
You find 3 things. But we were going to take his
personal shades from his home. Yeah, I'll take his personal
shades from his locker. That's much I'll.
Take I'll take, I'll take the eddies.
I don't know what the book is. 0 Wait a minute, hold on.
Let me take a look at this. Book, I'm going to yell at you
about the shades. All your firmware.
Oh, that's interesting. Cool.
Fuck. You bastard.
Fine, you get plus one to installing the firmware later.
That's brilliant. I'm not giving you inspiration,
but I will give you plus one to that.
That's very good. Oh, and I also took the cap
plushie. Cool.
What? Well.
No, you can have. It I know it's, I know it's
someone who's going to want it. True, true.
OK, yeah, cool. I've got the firmware and I got
this. Howdy, how this handy?
How to do book on it then? Yeah.
On the back of the post it for the safe room.
It's got the coordinates of the safe room in Night City.
Oh great. Oh shit, it's not even in this
building. No.
What a cock. Cheese.
Sorry, excuse my language. God, what a cock tease.
Oh my God, April Anonymous said what I said.
Was I recording that I got I sell that you're.
Welcome. You're welcome.
You're 1 Swear of the day. Next time on no latent Seaside
quest. Yo-yo.
OK, April, you bid. Get a asshole.
That's two. Little scratch there.
How dare you hurt her, Queen? As we got company.
Is this thing bulletproof? Not proof, but resistant I guess
is the better word for. It.
Might have a small concussion. I might have a small concussion.
That ain't no cherub than me. Did my face look OK when I
looked in the mirror? I'm not like I'm.
I'm fine, right? Oh shit, that's right.
Don't look at the light. Don't look at the light.
I'm anonymous station. It's full, motherfucker.
Like you're in touch with your humanity, you know?
I mean, that was a real explosive debut.
I feel like I'm having a polar opposite feeling.
What a nice shipping container, right?
Keep it in the car from now. April, are you OK?
One of your personalities was correct.
You just, you stay in the car, you, you stay here and.
The other one has a concussion. Glad you're here.
You've had this head since he was 14.
Yeah. Just can we, can we just take a
moment to appreciate that dumb ad I made?
I'm going to play again. It's I'm cutting this bit out.
I just want to listen to it again.
We don't have. That for a minute mimic.
Get 1 today again because your kids will scream at you
otherwise. Merry Christmas.
It was very fun to record that on my own in my bedroom.
Thank you listener once again for joining us here at No
Latency. Don't forget to check out all of
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Check out our website at nolatencypodcast.com.
And if you'd like to support us further, we have a Patreon.
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No matter what your level of support.
Thank you so much again for listening.
We literally couldn't do this without you.
Thanks Jim, it means a lot. Have a good week and we'll see
you next time in Night City.