Last time on no latency side quest.
Could you put that back together by chance?
Well, me. Ring Ring banana phone.
Since I've met you and your friends retro camera one but
life has been nothing camera 2 but an adventure.
Camera 1. Do they have coffee breaks?
Do you think I can flirt my way out?
And I want to say thank you from the bottom.
And we still had some good footage in there.
Of what remains of my heart Camera 2, I have a plan.
Oh. It's stupid, stupid.
Plans are my favorite. Plan, but it might work.
My God, you. Do have them distracted.
Yeah, I have the worst exec in the planet.
The best thing? Ever.
But we're going to take his personal shades from his home.
How to install your firmware? Oh, that's interesting.
Cool. Yeah, I'll take his personal
shades from his locker. That's much better.
Oh shit, that's not even in this building.
God, what a cock tease. Boom boom in.
The main gnome. Hong Kong.
Get out of the way, asshole. Oh God.
That's two. Oh man.
If you can swear on the show, you're allowed to swear.
It's like. We only get 3 to keep our PG13
ready. I'm kidding.
You're driving down the street, your vehicle's in great shape.
Mangy Home. In the Meiji home.
Meiji home, you're. Driving down the street towards
the coordinates that Retro gave you, roll a driving check and
also chat amongst yourselves. It's the beginning of an episode
I. Got it.
Hello friends, welcome in. Hi.
Good morning. What's one thing you've done
today that you're proud of? Not bad.
Sorry, I've been drinking a little too much right now.
I had a proud of his driving. Retro roll evasion.
April roll evasion. Oh, Jesus.
And this is the story of how April Anonymous Network 54,
died. The car swerves into oncoming
traffic shit. Oncoming traffic.
April, you do roll just high enough to not fall out the
vehicle, but you do smash against the passenger side door
and you take 1D6 damage. Roll me one D6 Retro, you've
rolled A-17 on evasion. You grab the wheel and pull
yourself back over to the correct side of the street,
which is the right side. This is the first damage I'm
taking in the game. You take 5 damage, it bypasses
your armor, and it just crunches against you.
Sorry about that y'all. Y'all OK April?
You good little scratch there. Ow, yeah.
You're good. Yeah, yeah, you're good.
I'm just going to put this cup down.
Just pop that right there. Hands on 10 and two even though
I. Believe the first time I'm
taking damage and no latency and it's friendly fire.
You. Dust yourself off in the van and
as you look up you look to the rearview mirror and there is a
red vehicle behind you driving very quickly and in the window
of the vehicle is Cupid. As we got company, I thought.
It was going to be April. Anonymous fans like how dare
you, our queen. How?
Dare you? You shut the fans.
You hear honking. The bullet flies past the
vehicle. Shit, damn, is this thing
bulletproof? Is this the same vehicle as the
last thing I did? Yes.
Yeah, actually, it's actually pretty good.
A lot of armor. Not proof, but resistant I guess
is the better word for it. All right, that's what's better
than not. Roll for initiative.
The Fender Liz. Maybe we'll click your face
first, then roll initiative. You're.
Not as quick. I'm going to jump this time.
Not quite as quick. And popping out the back of her
vehicle are a bunch of drones. She's got company, Uh.
Oh, I didn't notice those. 69%. Oh no.
God damn it. Fun.
That's never a good sign when AGM says that.
Oof April, you did bad I. Didn't I did too bad I'm.
Going to blame the fact that April might have a small
concussion. I might have a small concussion.
For no good particular reason. It's not anyone's fault.
Did my face look OK when I looked in the mirror?
I'm not like I'm. I'm fine, right?
You, you're fine. You're just, you're just a
little frazzled from the collision with the inside.
Banged up. OK, alright, alright.
I'm camera ready still. Alright, alright.
Camera ready still. That's all that really matters.
Didn't fuck up the foundation. Yeah, yeah. 17 excellent sirens.
I love it. 17A bullet flies into the vehicle and the vehicle
takes 5 damage. Cheapest.
The drone is now pacing the vehicle.
As you drive the. Second drone moves up, it can't
get as close. It also shoots trying to take
out your tires with a stun gun. It misses.
It needed a 20 and the bullet flies across the windscreen.
It is Retro's turn. Well, I'm going to go ahead and
I'm going to I'm going to literally punch out the the vent
on top. So now I can actually, like,
exit outside. Yeah, look straight ahead at the
vehicle that's following us with the crazy ass mimic jester.
Whatever. Cupid.
It's one of the reindeer. That ain't no cherub to me.
Well I'm about to blitz in its ass with glass grenade.
Oh hell yeah. So yeah, clink glass grenade,
go. What are you trying to do with
the glass grenade? Because if it doesn't have sand
around it or something to turn to glass, it's just essentially
a flash bang. Right while driving.
Oh, I see what you're doing. All right.
Cool Rob brawling. And then what does the what does
the rules I wrote say? Actually, hold on a second
before that, we are in the time of the red, are we not?
Yes. It is raining right now, is it
not? Yes.
Which means that there is. Depending on the acidity of the
rain. Slightly acidic rain.
It's not that acidic. But also has iron bits,
magnetized iron bits from the destruction of Arisaka Tower.
I mean a little, but the flash grenade just creates a a
localized large amount of heat. What are you trying to do?
I I was trying to rule lawyer that technically that there
would be a sediment enough in the rain to cause something of a
sand like effect. It wouldn't do it for iron.
You need regular sand because it's it's enough to flash free
sand into glass. Fair enough.
So unless you've got a sandbag hanging around that you can
throw with it, all it does is blinds the drop.
Dead. I left that vent away, so you
know, but I will just, I'm just going to, yeah, I'm going to pop
the grenade. I'm going to throw it as hard as
I can at the windshield. OK, Rob Rolling, see if you can
get it right. Can I do shoulder arms because I
am throwing it? Yes you can. 25.
Yes, it flies all the way over to the truck behind you, lands
nicely on the hood of the vehicle and pops, causing a huge
flash roll evasion to not stare at it.
I am high. Exactly.
Have to be. If you can't look away, you have
to be ADV 15. 21. You look away.
Oh shit, that's right. Don't look at the light.
Oh, she rolls over 15.
She swerves over to the wrong side of the road but manages to
keep control of the vehicle. Oh man, Oh well, it's a good
shot. Well, it's fun to use anyways.
I'm in the jumps. Do you do anything else retro?
Do you stay popped out of the vehicle?
Yeah, I think I'm still popped out of the vehicle, but that
does, yeah, it has my accident. I can't really move anywhere.
So yeah. One of the drones tries to catch
up with the car. 16 Not enough bullet flies across your head.
Retro. Fuck.
Oh now they got bullets on them. Well now I really am.
Think I'm real rethinking my plan that I had thought of.
I thought they were just Tasers. 17 A dart flies past your other
side, flinking the road in front of you, and you drive
effortlessly over it. Devon.
Tasers and bullets and darts. Oh my, what is going on?
Oh, that's bad. All right, she skids in the rain
and is now going a little sideways.
She has lost control of her vehicle.
It is coming towards your vehicle.
She's hyperplaning and it's going towards your vehicle.
Devon, it's your turn to drive. OK, so voice in the sky, I want
you to know that I do have a neural link and interface plugs.
Yes. Which means it's possible that
I'm not using my hands to drive this vehicle.
You are not. Does that mean that maneuvering
this vehicle and doing something else are separate actions?
Yes. Let's freaking go.
OK? How high is the drone north of
us flying? Is it beside us or is it above
us? It is perpendicular to your
window, so shoulder height for you.
Perfect, I'm gonna shoulder check the drone with the car.
All right, drive, land, vehicle. Drive land vehicle.
It's in control. It's.
Something that is exactly drive, land, vehicle. 14.
Very good. Yes, very good.
That is, That is an everyday task to move to your left.
Oh. And you smash into this vehicle,
roll ME3D6. Damn it 8.
Damage, and it takes some damage.
All of their health is linked because they use the same sheet,
but that one takes some damage. OK, so that was my move.
That was your move. With where my car is and how
Cupid's car is orientated, which is a perfect L.
Yes. Can I use my second ability to
hit the brakes to make them turn further away from us?
Yes you can. I'm also going to hold on.
I'm going to try some bullshit real quick.
I'd love that for you, We. Love bullshit here.
Mainly. Use because this is technically
physics based necessity. Can I use my education because I
know how physics works to help me assist with doing this?
Yes, but if you fail it'll be bad. 22 you do a great job.
Cupid's vehicle gets spun so that is now driving backwards
and hydroplaning. You speed forwards with your 22.
You don't need to use any of the Nos.
The drone flies away as it's shot put into the side of a
building and explodes. Only three drones.
It's now going backwards and it is April's turn.
I am going to shake off the my little my little head injury and
I'm going to try to roll down my window if that's OK and then
shoot at one of the drones with with Max.
Because they are behind you and you are accelerating.
Consider the distance you are shooting to be 3 times because
of velocity and science it's. Probably.
Going to be very far away from you.
You can deduct it is only a third of the distance that you
have to make with your shot because of speed and the way
physics works. Yes.
So a hard shot. No, it's easier because you are
ahead. So because you're ahead, if you
fire on the right, you can like, do you see what I'm saying?
Because. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It would be like a, like a yeah. Yes, yes, yes.
Physics, that education thing that he did.
Yes, yes, yes. I am throwing you a bone is what
I'm saying. Thank you.
I like physics. To justify it.
Yay, yes. My acceleration.
Thank you. Thank you, PM.
I appreciate it, Jim. Thank you very much.
I appreciate your kindness, Jim. Doing this because you rolled an
8 on your invasion. I did very poorly on my.
I had to wait a very long time to do anything.
Yet you could be the one that saves the day.
Maybe. 19 You fire your bullet into the rain behind the vehicle
and it hits this drone nearer the car.
A 19 is a professional shot according to literally rules are
written and this professional shot causes the drone to smack
into the vehicle and the vehicle smacks into the sidewalk and is
now grinding on the sidewalk as one of its wheels has popped.
You can see Cupid panicking in the front window, and as she
rattles around inside, the drone that hit the vehicle smashes
into the ground and explodes. That's another drone down and
she glitches out. It's not her.
It's a mimic. It's another.
Mimic I still have one more shot left in my gun.
Yes, you do. What are you going to do?
I'm going to shoot again, do it. But before I do, I am going to I
am going to turn to the others. April Anonymous Network 54 That
one doesn't need a little. Bit 13 the bullet goes wide.
Don't worry bro, we'll. Edit that in post we got.
It through the range you hear this have.
Yourself a merry little Christmas, You are in my sights.
Bang. The effort you put into this
show. Incredible.
One of the drones tries to come towards you.
It's not going well for them. I'm going to be real with Retro
still hanging out. Rolls of 14, completely misses,
rolls crit damage, but it doesn't matter because the dart
flies past you. It's not crit fails, so they
don't have their own vehicle, but it does nothing.
Retro, it's your turn. Oh.
Yeah, I I feel like my voice has probably been shumbled around a
lot. Sweet.
So the other vehicle is doing a a sick Ollie grind on the
sidewalk. Yeah, in my mind, Goldfinger
Superman is playing at the same time.
So I'm just going to go ahead and help him kick flip that car
by shooting out the tire. Do it.
Oh, this is the name shot, isn't it?
Yes, it is +8. OK, well let's see.
I should have. I should have put the assault
rifle instead of the shotgun for this.
Oh, that's a 23. Well done.
Yes, you blow out two of the tires and the vehicle takes a
bunch of damage. It skids fully onto the
sidewalk, the mimics flailing around on the inside trying to
control what is going on. Roll 2.
DS No, it's it does a 6720 Ollie kick flip right off the sidewalk
and do a weekend. You watch the front axle bend
and the wheel is now at a cantered angle.
The vehicle is teetering off the side of itself.
A drone tries its best to get forward.
It doesn't even get into range as it disappears into the rain
behind you. Cupid attempts to write her
vehicle, although she'd have to roll a Crip for this to work.
Nope, not enough and it smashes into the building, taking more
damage. And Devon.
It looks like this vehicle isn't much longer for the world.
It is really struggling. I'm going to oh, wait, what's
oh, vehicles off. It's on the sidewalk on.
The sidewalk causing. Sparks on the ground.
Sometimes the rain catches fire for a moment.
I'm still grinding grinding. Yeah, I'm, I'm.
Just going to say, I think, I think the world of physics is
going to take care of that. It is raining.
So what I'm going to do is I'm going to hit the brake hard
enough so that the back of the car hits the drone behind us.
Right, which will put you in line with the vehicle before you
speed off. Correct. 15 to a minute.
Yes, good enough. Yeah, that is a.
That is a difficult task. Well done.
Thank you. Thank you.
You hit the drone, it smashes into a bunch of pieces because
that is enough to harm that one. Very good.
And because technically my hands are free, I want to pull out my
very happy pistol, hold it sideways so they know I'm
serious about what's happening. Yes, very nice city.
And I want to say hey. My.
Dominus, listen. To phone motherfucker.
And shoot. Folks, welcome to dungeons and
Randomness. Since 2012, myself and an
amazing cast of 18 have been telling stories in our home
brewed world of Theria. Four different groups explore
lost ruins, run for political office, Rage Against a mad king,
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Every group has a different story and flavor, and every
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Literally hundreds of hours of stories are waiting for you as
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around the table. 17 Yes, that's enough.
The bullet goes through the engine block and the vehicle
explodes. Drive off triumphantly.
Oh my God. This is the best.
By the way.
I'm an exec by the way. Oh, Oh yeah.
Big building. Oh yeah.
I actually have underwings people who work for me.
Oh, that's wonderful. Yeah, I could call them right
now, but. Great.
Why? Yeah, you know.
And you screech outside of the contagion yard and this auto
combat is over. I gotta say I've I've been in
such a funk since the last time because I had to take so much
therapy. I appreciate you guys let me
know what it's really like to exist in the real world of Night
City. I'm hoping that we can, like,
make you feel like you're in touch with your humanity, you
know? I mean, that was a real
explosive debut, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I feel like I'm having a polar opposite feeling as of humanity.
It's been a mistake, but you know it's it's fine.
The flesh is weak, or we the better.
You are standing outside of a shipping container lot in sort
of a northwest part of Night City.
It's actually quite a nice shipping container lot.
It's pretty close to the corporate district and is a
prime location for a safe room. There is a safe room here,
somewhere here on the street. On the sidewalk, you can see a
bus stop and some crosswalks to your east and an entrance to the
container lot to your northwest. What a nice shipping container
lot. Quick question.
Tibby. Is this like an actual shipping
like just shipping containers or is this also like living area
people living in the shipping containers?
Because you have the coordinates of the safe room, you know that
it is listed as a place where they store shipping containers
for long periods of time. OK.
That's all you know without rolling for it.
I I just didn't want to break into somebody's house.
Right. I used to live in home.
Do you leave the Nicks the Nick Santos statue or do you take it
with you? I think we can keep it in the
car for now. Cool, you you.
Stay in the car, Nick. Nick.
April, are you OK? You turn to April and she's
patting the the the robot on the head.
You. Just you stay in the car.
You, you stay here. OK.
No, guys. She looks fine to me.
You look away, you look back and for some reason it has a Santa
hat on. Now you've no idea where you got
it from. April.
What year isn't it? It needs to be festive.
April what? What?
What year is it? What year is it?
Come on guys. It's 2049 on the show.
I know. Just.
April, do you know who the President of the and USA is
right now? Who's?
The president? Come on, let's go.
We're on a timeline. Oh yeah.
She looks fine to me. I do very much appreciate though
that binary was like. I, I, I fight retro, it's very
important that you understand. I did shit.
The car may have done something. He did actually think it was
2047, so I'm glad that he did did, did correct me because I
did think it was 2047. Yeah, I.
Think it would be better if you did say it was 47?
Oh no, yeah, they definitely have a A.
I did act like it goes 2047 so thank you for the correction
but. It it was 2047 the last time you
played, but the show has gone on and so time has passed.
How? Time works.
Yeah. One of your personalities was
correct and the other one has a concussion.
Come on, let's go. April, you've walked into this
container yard. I'm looking around.
I want to find my mark. We need to.
We need to get to the concert. My job's on the line.
Concussion. I hardly know her.
Roll perception. I know exactly where that is. 14
You notice that there are 3 entrances hidden in these
shipping containers. Guys, there are three entrances
in these shipping containers. OK. 03, Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, a yellow 1A green one and the pink one.
Well, yellow's my favorite color.
I'm just going to roll AD 6 to figure out which one I want to
roll because it's definitely not going to be the one that's
covered in black. I mean one.
I'm going to go to the pink, see what's happening.
All right, you woke up to see you.
In April, but that's going to be like, whatever they say,
Devin's. Walked up to the pink door which
is locked. April's walked up to the yellow
door, which is locked and Retro's kind of stuck in the
middle. Hello, Nick.
You're trying to open the door, April.
Yeah, why not? Cool, roll something to open the
door. You can do pick lock or you can
do it with force or your gun. Gun is always a good option.
It's always an option. You said I could pick lock.
OK. You can use pick lock, you can
use brawling if you want if you're strong enough, or you can
use your gun. Let's see, Using your gun will
break the lock and make noise. That's true.
I I would prefer not to do that. I'm going to try to pick the
lock if I. Pick lock 11.
It is a regular shipping container.
The DV was a nine. The door opens, it is full of
water crates and a few crates full of scrap.
Right about 50 scrap or so I. Don't think he's in here.
Oh well, I'll I'll take a look at this green one.
April joins Retro at the Green one.
Retro trying to open the door. Yeah, I just shoot the lock.
OK, shoot the lock. I am beating the shotgun.
Roll for it. Maybe it wasn't not a good idea.
I think something's going to happen. 25 Yes.
You blow the door open and now it stays open and as you open up
this shipping container, you step inside and there is a drone
that attacks you immediately roll evasion.
Well shit man, I really wish I'd jip here now. 27 April You dodge
out of the way, stepping back outside Retro.
You also dodge out the way, but you don't roll a crit, so you
are still targeted by the drone. It fires a standard at you.
Rolling a 15 which is 12 feet is not enough and the bullet flies
out of the shipping container towards the open courtyard.
It flies a little bit more forward and attacks you again.
It's a rage of fire of 2 rolling a 14, which is also not enough
and misses you again. Oh shit, whoa, no extra holes.
Do you retaliate? Well, yes, of course I do
retaliate. All right, how do you do it?
With the same thing that got me in this mess in the 1st place.
Shotgun baby. That's a that's crit damage.
You hit the drone, it smacks against the walls of the
shipping container and blows into a million pieces because
you rolled A crit. There is 15 scrap on the ground
after it explodes. Oh piece of scrap.
Oh, piece of scrap. Bits of scrap.
Explode and the drone is dead. You have entered this little
green shipping container and as you look around in it, there's
some a few boxes. There's a water crate, but it is
a dead end. Shit.
All right, leaves one option. Looks like you're right, Devin.
I I honestly cannot believe it. I shoot.
I shoot the door. Just shoot the door open.
I shoot the. Lock.
I shoot the lock. I can't even know what it
wasn't. Didn't work well for me.
Oh, I have to roll for it. That's right.
Yes, you do. Just to make sure I don't shoot
my foot 20. One yes, the door opens and it
is now opened permanently. The shipping container before
you is 2 shipping containers welded together to create a
corridor. In the corridor are a bunch of
crates and some more of those water crates as well.
Nick. Your your voice echoes through
the metal. It gets no reply.
You can see a door at the other end.
Let's go. The door at the other end.
Oh, that is so cool. God damn it.
All right, what the fuck? Yeah, right, right.
Dynamic roofs and shit. Oh, that's awesome.
Yeah, you didn't see the inside of the green shipping container
or the yellow one? What the fuck?
All right, now you don't like 10 points?
10 points here. 10 points. 10 points.
Apparently. I want to shoot this one.
Right. Yeah, why not?
I didn't get shoot the other ones I'm.
Going to step back a bit. Oh fuck.
You shoot Devin in the foot, Devin takes Devin takes 5
damage. Mother God fucking.
Oh, holy night. I'm very sorry, I think my
head's a little frazzled from someone's driving earlier.
To add insult to injury, the door creaks open and they're
facing you both. Is a drone in the doorway?
I still have another shot. You still have another shot.
Do you shoot the drive? I do.
OK. Uh oh.
Hey, you're older, 19 with crit damage.
It smacks against the crates behind it, leaving 10 scrap on
the ground, and explodes. Oh, a piece of scrap.
Hey, I do that too.
Oh. My gosh.
Famous people are just like you, I feel.
So grounded I've seen. I hand them to Devin as
pennants. Thank you.
Thank you so much, this will patch the hole in my foot.
You didn't offer anything to me for my head so.
You know I was. April.
Just my bell Jingle in ring Ting, tingle in two.
I skip away. I I see that there's another
door here. Yep.
I jiggle the handle. Jiggle the handle.
Yeah, it's locked. Fuck.
OK well definitely learn a lesson for shooting stuff right
now. I'll just pick this one.
So wait wait before I pick a Reddit tat tat.
Is anyone home? OK, roll perception.
Are you trying to look under the door?
Well, I'm knocking to see if there's somebody there, because
then they can just open the door.
Right? All right.
Yeah. Coming.
All right, you knock on the door.
Roll to see how well that goes. OK, well, there's only one rule.
There's only one rule. You can do for that then. 18 You
hear a whistling. When I hear a whistling, is it
like a, like a or is it like a? It's the Christmas whistling of
a of a very high pitched pair of lips.
Oh, fuck. OK, yeah, you know what?
I'm can I look under the door? Sure, roll for it.
I just get into it. 34 I'm going to open the door, but it is not
opened I'm. Going to get punished later.
I'm rolling too good today. So you look through the crack in
the door and there you see what you think is Cupid.
After a little look, she's not glitching, she's not robotic,
and she has two drones around her.
So what you see there, Robot Retro?
First off, not a robot. Excuse the hell out of you.
That was my safe. That's.
A. That's a micro.
I'm sorry, be fair, pull it in my foot.
To be fair I was best friends with a with a cyber racist so
it's fine OK. Very great.
Happens to all of us. Anyway.
Well, OK, so there's well, there's two drones and that
weird Cupid jester mimic like waiting for us behind the door.
OK, is there anybody in there that looks like we give a shit
about them? From what I saw, no.
All right. You want this EMP grenade?
Oh. No, no, you should definitely do
that. I'm not going anywhere near an
EMP grenade excuse. I'm.
I'm, I'm going to, I'm going to step back to this other door
now. All I got some.
Yeah, April is the least borked up of the three of you, So a
couple. Things, but nothing.
Nothing crazy. Yeah, not a head made of a
television. Yeah.
I mean, technically it's not borked up if it's, you know, a
life saving procedure. Very true.
And we support you. I was 14, I'm.
Glad you're here. You've had this head since you
was 14. Yeah.
Oh shit. When you say locked, are we
talking about good padlock or like just bolted?
Just bolted. And you're on the inside, so you
can't unlock it. Nobody asked.
Oh yeah, it said I was locked. Yeah, but I didn't, you didn't,
you didn't say I unlock it. And I would have been like,
cool. You son of a.
Bitch. I'm going to unlock it before I
open the door. It's unlocked, You can now open
it if you want. I'm going to take out my EMP
grenade. Right.
I'm going to open the door, say you've been furloughed and throw
the EMP grenade in there, close the door and run away.
Next time on no latency side quest.
Nice. Oh good, I pull up my gun and
put it. At Evan is in my way.
I cannot fire my gun. Only slightly worse than me.
You. Move.
I'm shooting you in the face. Go ahead, burn all the luck now.
That is inspiring. Just shotgun away.
I have another shot. In the face.
They have another shot. Not only did you move twice.
I don't support what he did, but you don't take it out on the
children you. Shot.
Me. Twice.
But you as a person are better than this.
Oslo beast a bitch? Why hardly stuffed the stuff?
I grew up. For me.
I'm better than this. You can be too.
When you. It's so soft.
Do drugs and break up with the girlfriend.
They're a fuck boy. It's probably better to make
sure she doesn't have access to a bunch of mimics.
Right away. That can come kill you and
Chris. You're like, actually going to
give the money to the kids, right?
But you got there buddy. It's.
Christmas time in Night City. Wait a minute.
Thank you, listener once again for joining us here at No
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