Welcome to no latency. Sidequest a bonus podcast with
special guests that affects the main story of no latency.
This time retro is caught up in a Christmas death, sweep
adventure with special. Guest stars Bryce, Pablo playing
Plumpton. The Netrunner, Jordan, Michael
Whitby playing cave the fixer and Alex Stevens.
Playing a do near the rocker boy.
Although these characters have known retro for quite a while.
This Christmas, they get to meet in person for the very first
time. What will retro get his friends?
This Caesar in night City? Sometimes the greatest gift is a
really good secret, but for retro this year, it's perhaps
keeping those Secrets hidden, Shall We Begin?
Hi guys, I'm gonna go ahead. I'm just gonna fucking, I'm
gonna just fucking bash this thing until until I'm dead.
And then, hopefully, once it all attacks me and I take all the
points, you can just DPS it to death.
All right. Just don't waste my buff this
time. All right.
Well we don't heal her. I wish I could come but Rick
didn't show up. So, no healer.
We gotta, we gotta handle this. Anyways, yeah.
Wasted bricks. Coming somewhere else, all of
your adventures in the game Crest Over the Hill Park.
From the rate of voice booms. Welcome to the darklands.
The boss is before you, he's wearing a Santa hat.
Oh shit. I don't have pain has like eight
tentacles, but a Santa face. Creatures you guys gotta do it.
It's one guy on his own. Who doesn't have a party?
Hi. Come on.
We gotta we gotta get in there. Okay I'm coming.
I'm coming put one hand over your eyes and thinking and shoot
whatever spells you got. Okay.
I run towards him and I shoot my biggest spell, which is a bunch
of seawater. Everyone roll something bullshit
your way. I'm going to just rush in
because, you know, it's just my character, a giant buff
Barbarian only wearing a loincloth but has a square brick
for a head helmet and charging in with double giant battle
axes, right to the face of Santa.
I'm going, I'm trying to catch the eyes out and I got an 82.
Oh shit and you were successful you managed to gouge out one of
the tentacle I eyes on and on the screen it turns into a
mosaic because it's so disgusting and and the blood
falls to the ground and you get an XP bonus and the creature
Wales backwards. Come on.
Carlos Rivera. It's not a time to climb up at
Donia. What character you're playing.
I am just playing this little So in the back, just got a really
big head piece over her ears. And she just watching and just
kind of like smirking and be like, everybody is a fucking
idiot and just pulls out a gun and shoots the thing.
See you pull out this this this musket in the game and it's
loaded with a lightning bullet. This lightning bullet Cascades
through and hits the water in front and electrifies the whole
thing, but also electrifies retro because you didn't tell
him about It has character, like, comically shakes and the
skeleton shakes. And if you look at the skeleton,
you noticed the skeleton has a Santa hat.
And you get a team hit bonus to your XP and you steal his XP
bonus. Is it transfers over to your
cave? What are you doing on the
battlefield? I knew you were gonna do that
and cave in caves rather small in stature, Druid nature, Caster
is running. And right, and left, and right
dodging, all of these, all of these shots that are up there,
flying over his head from, it happens every rate and he is
just dodging back and forth, putting up like nature, and
Arcane barriers, to try and keep retro for getting hit as much
with the collateral damage. Yes, I'm not tired of it at all,
every God. Goddamn time.
Not a waste of my may not in the slightest.
Maybe you could put it towards other things like sharing.
It's fun. One of the tentacles casts
forward and one of your protection wall shoots up,
cutting it in half, and you unlock an achievement in the
game, which covers the whole screen and unfortunately, the
you did roller crit fail in this.
So one of the tentacles as you're being like I didn't know
it could do that. It's Max.
You across your character flies sideways and there's a big
whammo. On the screen this and it makes
everyone chuckle. But you did do some damage it
now has one less tentacle, however Clapton's been messing
around and unfortunately his found a glitch in pressing a
bunch of buttons. He's managed to unlock some kind
of weird dormant code with a DLC that never got released and his
whole body trembles in the in the dark space.
That you're in, he turns into the same Beast as the boss and
then it coughs on them covers them in a huge cloud of digital
pix elated mush as the whole thing.
Melts into an egg and explodes into a Christmas present, opens
up and out of this Christmas present in front of you, is a
big sign that says, you did it Merry Christmas and then the
screen goes, black will get returned to the tavern in the
game, like a celebration music and some credits.
I'm saying is once again, I personally one.
And I'd like to thank you all for making that possible for me.
Thanks Rio blizzard Activision. You just be glad I don't have a
lightning done in real life otherwise you'd be fucked.
Yeah, if you had, if you had one, I probably would be.
You'd probably fry me. Consistently all the time.
I'd be wearing a ground. Wait, did you say fry please?
No, don't talk about frying. It reminds me of clams.
Please, feel like everything has to remind you of clams.
Oh, a little bit. Jesus.
No, please don't talk about them.
I can feel it happening my body. Crushed it into a clap.
I've said it many times and I will say it again, therapy.
You know what, calcifer, I have got a great Six Ripper doc that
does wonderful therapies that I've been going to him?
Their name is dr. Sawtooth awesome.
You know what? I'll get I'll get you that for
Christmas. I'm gonna put it on my list.
So that's why I have 2 pairs of whole that comes up in the bar
that you're sitting in, in the chat.
What did you get people for Christmas?
I don't really know all of you, I'm sorry.
I was gonna get you stuff but I thought it always clam stuff so
I couldn't do it, just do it. And to think I got you such a
nice gift and now I'm going to have to return it.
No. Wait, what is it?
Please. I want to get to know now that I
know how little, I mean to you, I can draw you a picture.
It's all right, we still got arisaka.
Prime, we can still get all our stuff that way, pretty quickly.
Speaking of Asian to pull up my Arisaka Priceless real quick.
Let's see. Let's go.
Number three for a Donia. Number two, for calcifer, and
number five for retro. Thank you.
They're all well, you'll see. 200 Daddy's is deducted from
your account. Let me see her.
Okay, so I had to get, I got all II.
I got all your gifts, but I still need to get gifts from my,
my crew. I need to get some Red Ryder,
Gun oil, I guess some nozzles, and then I get parts for couple
of weapons. Yeah, I just have to go to
arisaka. Prime.
Hopefully they can ship it to me today and I'll be all right,
what's this two-week waiting? There's another option for pick
up local. I gotta pick up local.
All right. Yeah.
I'll click pick up local. All right, I'll do that.
Type it in. Boom.
All right. Where do I go?
Pick up locally. You'll get a message saying when
it completes got that. Let's see here.
So calcifer, we get a grounding rod for you.
I don't know what to do cave cave is all.
Been a mystery for me. I've never really known what to
get cave. I mean, cave, what is it?
You really want for the holidays.
Well, guess they gave, I don't know what it is.
You do for work like other Hobbies outside of the game.
So like, tell me what's up. Yeah.
There's the I keep my work and my my personal life.
Very, very separate. Yeah, but he's still shit.
I mean, yes. But who doesn't?
Yeah, but look so remember the show.
Oh, that I sent you take its for a couple weeks ago that you
could go see the Wailing banshees.
Yeah. Sorry.
I couldn't make it. Unfortunately we had an issue.
So I wrap them. You want, I wrapped you, wrap
the Wailing banshees. Yeah, bullshit.
That's awesome. Yeah, as well as the they
changed the names, every like three weeks but there's the
immortal fungus and also in non-music.
If you seen Reeves Those those ads are also mostly be you mean
reuse reuse? The sign spinner?
Yeah. Oh man, I've got a, such a
LoveHate Thing for Reeves because like, you know, you
can't count on him to be there when you need them, but God
damn. Is he not just a lovable
charismatic son of a bitch? Oh, so lovable and makes me
Well, just about all of what I spent on your gifts while he
make you that much. Not emphasized spinning.
Oh yeah, wow, he still owes me fucking 20 at ease.
Oh yeah, no, he doesn't get the money.
Okay, that makes sense. Yeah, no.
He'd he agreed to a awful contract, I believe it.
Well, I mean, if we're going to be spilling all this, I mean,
what about what about everybody else?
So everybody don't know. What do you what do you do?
Well. Do a little bit of this.
I do a little bit of that. Mostly I perform, you know, a
lot of different things. Basically my gift to each and
every one of you is that I wrote the lyric for you and my new
song that I'm playing. So, yeah, you're welcome.
Hey, who do you play with myself?
And I also perform alone. So whoo-wee.
You're the road. True.
I just wanna like the one that's been like growing in the
underground scene right now. I keep hearing about.
Yeah, I'm surprised he didn't put that together.
How many people do you meet with my name?
Not a lot to be fair and I honestly am just realizing now
that maybe I might be enjoying a little bit too much weed and
kitten cash at this time. Laughs.
Yeah right now. So I just been bouncing around.
Yeah yeah I don't like to like really give people material
things because I think that everything is eventually going
to collapse into the fall the society.
But you know, lyrics Last a that's very sweet of you.
Thank you, sweet. Person is too sweet as a glare
Bono programs are a little more salty.
What the fuck is going on? With you, my guy so gang.
I haven't told you this but I'm a let Runner, maybe you knew
because I got that sick DLC just recently 5 moments ago.
Yeah, I was, I was very surprised on that little
jealous. I was like, what's going on?
What can I say? I'm a master at my master at my
job, but I am also a clam, a few months ago I was doing some
thinking, we're a client and I was in an architecture and I saw
this Damon and he was a clam and he came out of nowhere and he
attacked me and I couldn't fight back and and now I I don't think
I'm gonna turn into a clam but I'm pretty 100% sure that I'm
gonna turn into a clam. It's pretty freaky gang.
Every moment I look at the water and think, is that salt water?
I'm never sure. Anyways, that's what I do.
You know I got super maybe you should come and hang out with my
friends at my my favorite bar and you should come hit some
kitten. Catch with me that my kind of
loosen you up a bit. I want to feel loose.
Let's do it baby. You want to feel like somebody's
stealing your plural, kind of loose or Everyone receives a
message and stealing your Pearl. Oh my God!
No! Please!
What is it agent? Thank you agent.
So my arisaka Prime came in. Yes, sews mine and also
Warehouse 25 you to feel. I guess we're gonna meet in
person then oh no. Meet in person.
This is so exciting. I haven't had contact with
anybody in so long. I feel so good.
I'm concerned. Yeah, I got first.
This is funny. And now I'm like, Like a little
worried. Yeah.
See I think that's stage two because I thought it was funny,
then I was worried. And now I'm just kind of like
intrigued by it. I think about it.
Your delivery is waiting for pickup at warehouse 25.
And then there's I really want this kick you out there, happens
in the face. Kind of thing.
I like that. You even look at the ads
anymore. I don't look at anything very
long. Yeah, I got that same one.
Oh man this is it's being done made by ultimate packages and
shipping. This is the worst.
They're pretty sucky. I know I got some I got so mad
at them at one point. I literally tip the guy over in
one of their poor bodies, Well done, probably deserved it.
Oh, he deserved it. In fact, I was so fun.
I did it a second time when I went over there.
Yeah. Well I'm with boo-boo.
Was it the same guy? I think.
So, I'd like to believe. So for your sake, I hope it was
Okay, got it. They might think, I think that
more than one person deserves that working at that company.
I gotta think about one guy getting his own ship while him
twice, not once and twice, it's a porta potty, so they just all
his over. That's funny.
All right. What time are y'all going to go?
Pick up your shit? And we are not really doing
anything. Now, probably just jumping, my
dog. Just jump in my van and drive
down there, and he all need a ride.
Yes. With you all.
Look, so you're just send you details to, obviously, I'll just
call you on my tile. Then everybody.
So, no one else needs a ride, except for calcifer?
I'm good. All right, because of her, I'll
be there in like 10 minutes. Make it 15.
I love it. This is gonna be so much fun.
I'm bringing a flask that can bring to can do, thanks.
Night City. You look at a map of North
America somewhere on the western edge.
You'd see an Inky black dot with fingers, pressing into the side
of the continent. That's where you find night City
and somewhere in the middle of that.
Inky black dot is a giant smoking hole, like the universe
itself, Drew iron and shot straight through the city,
radiation turn the sky red, but our story starts a little
further, south In a dive bar, the shortstop Welcome to Night
City and welcome to cyberpunk edge of Extinction.
Infinite sided, dice presents, cyberpunk edge of Extinction, a
cyberpunk, read actual play. Watch now at youtube.com slash
at infinite, sided dice. Catch you later, Chairman's.
Prosper. How do you enjoy my 1976 VW van?
It's so cool. I feel like I'm a bug makes me
feel cool. Retro, I need you to row me two
things. Don't you?
Draw me a driving check and I need you to roll me.
Something to make sure the music on the radio is not terrible.
Okay so then hold on let me do driving check first yep that's
fine. Okay at some traffic will move
traffic was to gamble but fail I'm looking but it could be
worse. I mean, it helps remind me to
wash my hands forget when I met running.
So you know, transfer I kind of imagined you a little bit
different and like like Tommy, tell me this look that you're
not that you're showing me right now.
Well, I mean, I thought it would be cool if I just wear some
sweats and, you know, some sweats but on the top half and
also a helmet. But my own it's starting to look
strange. Every time I look at it, I think
it's starting to look like a clam devouring.
The pearl of my head. Yeah, yeah.
Um, you know it it would be it would probably not look like
that so much if you didn't like keep filing blue ridge's into
the brim of it, you turned to me.
And you see that Ivan. Why are you saying this?
I'm filing little Ridge. What do you mean?
What are you talking about? Well you're doing it right now
like you and you get literally getting metal shavings in in
Vanna White and now I got a vacuum that off because now
Jeff's gonna make a big deal about it.
I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to Oh yes.
You don't want to get that in your food if you eat it.
Wash my soul God. They play this all the time.
I can't, doesn't it? Make you feel like you wanna
wash your hands? It does, what you want to wash
my hands a lot, which is like some freaky.
Like, they got some something in there that like, gets a worm in
your brain to make you do it. It's definitely some like
underground science shit. You're right, there's something
kind of weird about this song. Every time I hear that I feel
compelled to wash my hands. Yeah, it reminds me of this like
one song that my great grandpa told me about about.
They used to do this song about kids in cars that like everybody
hate it. What was it?
It was something called kids and cars, I don't know.
Both of you while personal grooming.
Howard, you're out of your jacket.
You pull a one-person sanitizer packet and wash your hands
Kalani. Instructions of the song Because
currently playing fears, the rest of for the rest of this
episode, you get plus one to your reputation.
What can I say like to follow instructions?
You managed to pull a metal shaving out your to hand.
And it works better on a major bonus but it feels nice.
And you arrived as the hand-washing song.
Finally finishes at warehouse, 25ml big, where small Warehouse
I've seen bear blown up bigger and you guys get out of the
vehicle. Anhedonia is standing outside,
just writing some shit down and a journal that I carry just like
about the description. One of the house, I'm trying to
come up with another sound. Wait a second.
You have a TV for a head which of you is?
Which what, who are you, you know that was that attitude?
You're literally a TV. Yeah, yeah.
I literally have a TV forehead surprised and you'll see a
exclamation mark and fireworks. Go off on my screen.
Whoa, that's sick. It's actually pretty cool.
All you have to do is lose your scone, almost have your brain.
Get destroyed to have something like this.
I just prefer to not but I'll keep that in mind.
If the Take care of her sides but you know, wait up, we're to
rock it, I guess. Yeah.
Version to version 2. Yeah, what-what else version 1
was an older TV set that I had, but that one got shot.
Did have S-Video, though. Jane, I think you look really
cool upgrades, calcifer. Do you actually look like a
clam? I have this helmet.
That looks kind of like a clam. But also everyone, although he's
saying it looks like a clam, it's a cycling helmet that he's
turned into his running loose. Please don't talk about clams
around me. I just feel it coming, like I
filled the shell wrapping around me, it's no lie, ever present,
you know, always watching Remy's gonna go ahead and just lie to
join and then like try to get calcifer to take a hit.
However, Isn't I just write down the she'll ever present?
I'm sure that's got to be a leak somewhere.
Okay, that means that the only person that were waiting for is
dino names, cave, cave. How do you arrive walking up
taking a giant Swig out of one of the two flasks?
Calcifer. Hit this shit.
Okay. Yeah, I'm in roll.
This torture drugs. Yeah.
Also, retro roll. Resist torture drugs.
We're still God. What are all these messages, 10?
Yeah, you're fine. Oh, this way, it's not
restaurant. But you'll find the TV was six.
You feel a little euphoric and for the rest of the episode, you
have a plus-one to something fun.
Mmm, to chill. I want it.
I want it to be something Roots. You get plus 1.
To dance, is it specifically to The Safety Dance, whatever,
whatever you want. If you want to if you get a plus
one to dance, you can use dance. Now I guess for the rest of this
episode and you're all outside the web so Adonia, you actually
look like you that makes sense and you too.
Well I don't know what I was expecting but this is not it.
You know who I am. Say my name.
I'm really learning that you're very rude and demanding of
people so much. That was just a character for
the game. I'm really pleased again do, but
I'm turning into a clam. You know, I really thought that
you were turning more into an oyster but I suppose.
I do see the clam esque resemblance here, please, excuse
my behavior. It's all the clams stuff.
Usually, I'm pretty chill, pretty kitchen and straight.
Vibe and baby I just kind of like rage over just like a
flask. Yep, just it's whiskey very
well. Let's let's let's not get salty
about this is it's the holidays. Come on, we're in Sugar.
Would you say if I said, let's not get salty about this.
What's all go get our stuff, come on.
And then afterwards you can you can come with me them to to my
Kick-Ass Friends Bar. A lot of that for all of us
there is that just for Galesburg that's well.
As for everybody I mean wait like this if you want to hit
this joint you can but it's almost a roach now I'm good.
Don't want to damage the vocal cords.
If Ya Wanna Do resist torture drugs, If you want more, I got
like 12 more. I look at this.
You get plus one to dance for the rest of it.
Then I've got one to Dance. I mean that's that's what
happens. Yep, so you guys are all
standing around the door of this Warehouse.
Can we all like kind of walk up Reservoir, Dog?
Ask sure. Yes.
Is that I guess? I mean, there's no one here to
see it but actually, you know what, if you three walk up, I
can record it. I don't think you want that to
be part of my reputation that I'm trying to just be for, just
be for us. Please, for the group chat, ya
gotta love the GC, I just will request that.
If we do this, we intentionally walk in slow motion.
Oh yes, do you want to give a speech?
Are you have to hum the pan washing-stand?
That's obviously humming the hand-washing song because I
can't. Yes.
Sounds good. I'm going going a damn it.
That is going to be stuck in my head.
Now though, the DVD was 10, huh? Is this not very difficult to
walk in until I'm at? Now, actually know, the TV was
like six, right? It's not hard to walk in.
It's not hard to walk in Slammer.
It was walking in slow motion. You look absolutely fantastic
and calcifer. Who rolled unfortunately a crit
fail on this slow motion falls to the ground.
In the video which is being filmed in slow motion even
though you're walking in slow motion and a donee.
You lean on the door is you laughs?
Yeah and door swings open Brosius up to open or me the
idea that are you okay, I'm not the one that fell on my ass
Masters hurt and your Armor gets a bladed by one.
Only your head on me though because you don't you head on
the ground? My poor head.
I think that that hit made it look a little bit more.
And I just walked into the warehouse.
When you walk in it's a one-room Warehouse, you can see like an
observation walkway, Stacks and stacks of crates underneath it
more crates underneath, what looks like to be an office.
It's labeled with a faded label that says office on the wall.
There's a stairway up to the observation deck so you could
get in there. And you can't really see into
the room because there are a bunch of boxes in here.
Question. Yes.
Does it look like nobody's been here in a very long time?
It looks like people aren't here today because it's a holiday or
it's near a holiday cash. I don't understand why did we
receive a message? If there's no one here because
our boxes could still be here. I'm getting the Jimmy's not,
Jimmy fear, you know, they're Jimi, Hendrix.
Yeah, the Jimi Hendrix of fear. We're really no one around here.
Hello roll, perception. Cuckoo everybody.
Everybody retro. You said hello into this room
and it echoes through the room. I'm waiting for a perception
check from everyone calcified. You're too concerned about their
slight deformation of your hat to really look around.
So you're not paying attention retro.
You notice that. There are footsteps echoing from
the room. And like a whirring noise
Adonia, you hear the footsteps, but not the wearing noise and
cave. You recognize the wearing noise.
Okay, that's great thing to hear.
It's fine. Everything's fine, what's fine?
Hey, I'm here to pick up my shit.
You need to shut the fuck up. That guy can hear shut up their
drones, the fucking drones, shut the fuck up, okay?
And out from one of the crates appears atoll man, wearing a lot
of armor and carrying a big gun and he looks at you all and says
he smiles at you creepily. He's wearing a Santa hat.
Yes, we got a letter. Yes.
Yeah I got my tracking number on my tile.
Good. Can I just get my stuff please?
Oh I'm sorry. There's been a mix-up.
There's no delivery but it's the end of your line for you.
I don't have a waiting line, we're just gonna kill you, I had
a pistol. I just showed up roll for
initiative, muhahaha We have rolled initiative and
unfortunately the man who just threatened, you rolled highest
the 15. That's bad.
So this big dude. Cocks shotgun poinsettia cave
and holds the trigger. Rolling a 10, the bullets fly
past you whipping, past your hair, causing it to like
flourish and it pings against the metal wall, that is a, that
is a weapon with a rate of fire of one sucks.
Move away Along this bitch and he, and he ruts to get away from
your site. Right.
Hiding behind some crates. And you lose your ability to
see. He is so the crates, they're all
stacked up pretty high, right? Yep.
You can't see past them. I would like to use my movement
running wise to charge into these crates here and hopefully
top of them over. Nice.
Okay. Sounds good Ralston bullshit for
me, I think. I'm going to take an educated
guess 20. Yes you can see that.
One of the boxes is in the middle.
Is already kind of off its mounting and it would be pretty
easy to push over doing this. Little bit of moment is your
bonus action for this turn and gives you a bonus to something
that would actually push a crate, which is not education.
Booze, is giving you an advantage.
I'll give you, I'll give you plus one to your roll.
They are Education is nothing like I thought.
Well, you know geometry? Yeah, it's going to give you a
plus one advantage. I'm just gambling on all this.
Okay. All right.
Well, you lose that plus 1 because you've taken too long
because you just write a crit - one, that's not enough, neither
of those are a physical thing or related to a physical thing.
Do something physical. Okay. 21.
Very good. Yes, you managed to knock over
the middle crate, and it Cascades out into the little
Corridor that it had created with the other boxes and falls
upon this soldier. In the warehouse, it crushes him
to the ground and causes more D6.
The Box. Crushing him causes a critical
injury crushing, half of his chest and you hear his lung pop.
Part of his side opens up and blood spurts across the ground
towards you. And that guy is very
incapacitated. You do not have to worry about
said human, I'm Klaus, true phobic.
Try to see if I could take a shot around the corner at the
Drone. You prep your shot but have run
out of actions. My guy damn.
But yeah, you've prepped a very good shot.
Well done. There is now a one of these guys
is completely incapacitated and now on the ground, the collapsed
lung. All right, I'm gonna run by in
this box, we run behind a box. X.
I'm going to take out my heavy pistol.
I'm gonna try and shoot that drawn right there, that do it.
You'll collect mrs. Entirely, and like ends up.
Ricocheting into some boxes, you do not score enough.
You rotten 11 the DV for this was 15 so sorry.
Okay, it's okay. Is that a heavy pistol?
What's the rate of fire? Was the rof to.
I believe you can roll it twice, no words and the other bullet
misses entirely you. Look at your gun in disbelief.
That it is, that shit, you are now down to Mo the Drone.
You were shooting at it is, it's turn after being shot at twice,
it decides to attack you plankton Out of the front of it,
a little door opens, and it fires out a ripper towards you
after moving a little closer role evasion and being 11, all
right, 13 the Ripper blade. Casts aside, you hid the boxes,
you dodge and then whips back into the Drone itself.
Oh, geez, as the breadth of Blade brachle chain, comes
wailing back to this. Drone here in the warehouse,
it's heavy SMG, its carrying underneath itself.
Fires at you missing entirely as a blitz, rip against the metal
wall, causing you to duck slightly.
It only rolled in eight, so you're okay.
I'm so scared from out of one of the corridors appears another
bodyguard. He steps forward using all of
his movement standing behind the Drone and aims at retro only
having enough time to really use his heavy pistol.
And he shoots at you rolling, just under the DV with 14, the
bullet hits, one of the cases He's behind you.
He pulls the trigger again and it hits you for an 18.
And you take five damage which honestly just kind of a Blazer
armor. I think you chipped my button
cave cave, just takes a take a step just away from all of all
of this clam nonsense. That's happening beside him.
Just as cool as a cucumber. Just takes one big step away
from from calcifer because that is too much to Deal with pulls
out his his pistol bass and treble.
And we'll fire shot out of each of them at the at the Goon just
as slow and methodical as possible.
Firing an 18 with base and 15 with treble.
Both bullets, hit basis, bullet Clips, one of the wings of the
Drone and it spins amusingly, taking one damage to its armor
and you cause nine and eleven damage respectively, taking out
a decent amount of this guy's arm as it flies off behind them
and falls to the ground. Now, you still want to do this
fight or do you want to leave alive?
Rob persuasion. Oh yeah, you think you've got
me? No, you do not motherfucker.
You will need roll. You roll a crit, fail.
Yep. The one thing that I'm supposed
to be resting as he's like very fucking Christmas Antonio walks
up and she's like like swinging around this giant.
What kind of looks like a metal stick but it's actually three
mic stands that she's like wrapped together to form this
giant fucking pole ends, like sick and a happy fucking New
Year and like baseball swings the drill.
Into the guy's head. Oh, sing!
All right, bullshit me a move. Okay, I think is awesome.
You just got to wait for this thing to load again.
So when you're saying bullshit move, can I still dislike news?
My melee weapon thingy, I'm setting up for you.
That's not right. That yeah, it will be a melee
weapon skill and it's three. Mic stands wrapped together so
it does 3D six. Yeah.
Which says that was a really fun thing to do.
Yeah. I'm I'm does like a tripod in
your bag to take the base of its really heavy so you don't drop
the mic and you're able to like swing it like a like a hammer.
Yeah. So I just have a GM.
I can help and I just because I think I get two Swings with the
melee weapon to the first one is trying to hit the Drone into
dude McGee. All right, so I'm going to say
the whole wow yeah. Alright.
Okay, this isn't gonna go well. Huh.
So the Drone rolls. 10 on Invasion.
Crack it in the middle and it flies backwards, almost
perfectly straight. And B are towards this guy role
that again. Because I have a thought it was
the to, but I think would be really funny if it works it.
Unfortunately, mrs. Him as he Ducks because you
rolled a crit fail. However, the Drone does take a
decent amount of damage. It hits the stairway and the
banister. One of the blades of the Drone
itself, flies, off and sticks into the ceiling, and it falls
into seven pieces and dice. They don't have a lot of Health.
They really are quite fragile, they can really hurt.
You but they are very easy to kill since I have to swing Swift
this. Yeah, I like so know you.
Your second swing was in hitting and I just I cackling the whole
time. This is.
So this is the best package delivery ever.
Gotten. The guy on the balcony, looks
down at the Drone as it's smashed to pieces.
During my brother limited doctor.
Hey, thanks quack, quack, right? Yeah, it's so funny when you
shoot those guys. Oh, yeah.
No, totally quack, quack. This guy shoots, his shotgun
over the top of this balcony. That's far, he misses he misses
entirely the shrapnel of the shotguns, blast hitting boxes,
and various pieces around. You, some of you feel like a
piece graze you, but it causes no damage.
Because here are the 15, and it was, at least a 20 to hit.
You Cox's gun one more time and he's choosing not to move.
So, he pulls out his heavy pistol and points it at Cave.
Hitting you in the chest for 13 damage, it rips through your
jacket and you see the Kevlar piece underneath Frey off and
hit the ground, your armor losses.
One damage and you take for damage because your honor takes
the rest. Yeah yeah but it was a first
Miss bitch, the Drone flies over the top of the balcony comes
down towards you and tries to shoot at retro because it's the
first plastic rolling. A 12 Point, Blank Range, missing
that An SMG as the bullets, Cascade around it.
Like the SMGs are not good for these.
Drones was a bad design choice, and they just like all over the
place as the bullets Cascade around.
You, you look really cool. You turn your head to one of the
other people that you're who do you turn your head to looking at
you and you turn your head is these bullets continue to pass
by you as the Drone. Misses the tragic love story.
Okay. If you think that's really cool,
yes, it's a really cool winky emoji.
I'm into it. The crush got a got body.
Got doesn't get a 10 because there's a box on top of him.
Well, looks like I'm up to Snow. Good, pull out my shotgun.
Stupid. I love it and I'm going to take
my first shot at the at The Bodyguard 18.
Yeah you hit him Square in the chest for 14 damage.
He falls backwards onto his bum. He goes under half Health.
Oh shit. Oh well that's the end of that.
Hey I just rolled double sixes so you blew his leg off.
Oh oh oh you. You you go to make a cool move
and you aim a little low and it hits him right in the hip you
blow. His fucking leg off backwards.
Blood goes everywhere and the guy paints and is bleeding out.
I'll just take my second shot at the drowned man, 21.
You hit the Drone Square. It peels like a banana mid air
and drops to the ground. Little bits of it electronically
sizzling, as it as it finishes and you rolled 21.
So out of a compartment of it rolls down onto the ground and
to your feet a smoke grenade. You got loot.
Now I'm just really interested in the smoke grenade.
Okay, there's one person left, there's A person left okay, you
got this, I'm going to go right here.
I'm going to say Hey you last person if you if you stop this
senseless violence. I'm going to tell you a big
secret you know that version over there.
That's the Adonia the music player.
He told the smile. Well actually there's new band.
This is your real secret stuff here.
Can I get to where the body is basically up on the stairs?
Everybody that that Rose going to shoot again?
We love you so much, Plankton 13, if you see you got as close
as you could. That's enough bullet Cascades
for drips off. A huge piece of his armor.
The bullet goes straight through.
His eye comes out the other side and the guy drops to the ground
like a sack of shit combat. I start looking for my package,
I'm just gonna go over to calcifer, Pat him on the back
and just say, hey, looks like you got final sled.
This is real special gay IRL killed someone and as the dust
settles on your battle and the man under the box slowly dies,
you will get a message. Deer are Soccer Prime customer
due to unforeseen circumstances all deliveries.
This holiday season been canceled as per the purchase
agreement. Even refunded 10% of the items
value round down to the nearest hundred Eddie's other dude.
Going on investigations up for the comments time or guarantee.
When the service will turn customers are advised to cancel
their subscriptions before the next payment date.
Report charges very holiday season.
Arisaka, motherfuckers, the fuck Buddy.
Hackett those Ramen bowls. Nobody Does this to my friends
IRL. We gotta start some shit, gang,
there's something funky going on.
Seems like it agent clip out the last minute, and a half of
recording, just save that for me.
If you want that fight for like a real or something Adonia.
Like I've got it. I got my own Google.
Thank you though. I'll take a copy of Yosemite
Sam. Can I just go over and sit on
the box? That's crushing the one guy.
Yeah, he's dead. Yeah, I just want to sit on it.
So what are we gonna do? As you sit on the box, you
notice just above the Aviation walkway is a big screen and it's
like just the screen they put stuff on for people when they're
like doing work. And the news is on retro, you
know, the frequency of this building.
So if you wanted to turn the TV on, you could use my TV powers
to turn up the volume. Put this is network 54 with your
host April amount of us. Days off the naughty list and
I'll tell you who took down. Harris actor, pry.
And Merry Christmas evening and goodnight City.
The news freezes and a sequence of images with death, sweep time
repeats on the screen only shirt.
So we're killing them, right. And we hold on one second
though. Wait, do I said you want to kill
them or? Yeah.
Okay, I'm all for that for sure. Yeah, that guy seems like a dick
Next time on no latency Cycles. What do you think we should do
about it? Re different things called Death
sweep like a week. You know how many people try and
use that as a band name? I know that van.
Yeah. Did you not also hear what
they're offering as the prize? No, I think he wants your
buttery nipple. Yeah, this slightly
inconvenience me so dead. I am on the list.
Looks like I made the list to me.
Two-bits retro. You said it multiple times and I
just want to be 100% clear. I'm gonna text.
In real quick. They know a lot these people
clearly have a lot of power and know, a whole bunch of shit.
Imagine what happens if I hit both shots?
You should give up. No, I didn't know you'd shake
it. That's business.
And I look over to the next guy. What the hell is frankincense?
It's a spice! Oh, no.
I'm already on three drugs right now.
Did the other guy have a Santa hat as well?
Or was it just that one? Thank you for joining us on our
adventure once again here at no latency.
Don't forget to follow us on Twitter at no latency pod, check
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So much for listening. We literally couldn't do this
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Thanks for listening gym. Thanks for listening gym.