Last time on no latency side quest you.
Don't want to come up to me and challenge me?
I will show you. Yeah, I second that.
This stream is blowing up. I'm going to need a few more I.
Didn't expect to get this far. Whatever keeps your head in the
game. I'm Lumen, very nice.
Well, I'd like to go to the mainframe computer.
Whoopsie. What are they putting in this
game? Symptoms of rage, violence and
inhumanity. Christmas keeps on giving.
Oh, I love a. Backdoor tell me all.
I just walk in. Someone's been watching too much
Evangelion. Is your brother Weiss?
I mean the streaming you up thing is real bad but I feel
like the cup and ball thing was over the line.
Guys, I don't think he's happy. Hey, are they?
Going to let you walk out of here, Holy.
Shit dude, let's. Disconnect them first and then
we can ask questions once. They're not going to fry their
brain out. If you need me to do something,
just tell me. Rack up a bunch of Subs later,
let's get you out of here. Guys, they already said that
twice left we're. Going to use the side door.
The guards gave us the code. The camera over there doesn't
work. Can't believe I'm lucky enough
to find people like you. I guess this is a Christmas
miracle. I would you be willing to do an
interview after all this to? Kind of a be out of the city
Dick. Right, Yes, no.
I after doubt. Yes.
The. Fuck, people are going to
fucking die. You're.
Right. You don't want what's in my
head. What's in your head?
Something beyond the Black Wall changed.
Us. But you?
You what? Me and my sister went beyond the
black wall while we were connected.
Happened. If I could put it into words I'd
be a millionaire. It was one thing my brother was
good at. It's probably why he's rich now.
I've been in that pod since February.
Oh damn. Almost a full year.
Yeah, why do you think my fingers are so pruning?
Fuck. Yeah, you don't smell great
either, but I'm not going to lie it.
Comes with net running sweaty business.
Yeah. Well, let's get you out of the
shore. And in the meantime, I do want
to tell you I like the way you say February.
That was that was good. Thanks, I had elocution lessons
before. You know that's bullshit.
How to? Can't hear well, are we doing?
Just stranded around? Let's get going, yeah?
Let me let me check out first. Make sure no one's coming this
way. If they are, I'll try and
distract them to the front door. Just give me a second to look
Andy, make sure that no one. 'S coming.
You open the door and you see genuinely, you guys haven't made
any noise, you haven't rolled any crit fails when it comes to
opening doors. Nobody's paying attention to
you. The cameras are still looping.
That security guy went to the the break room.
It's out the door and to the left all.
Right. Let's go, guys.
How long does it take to get there?
In a delamine, probably about 10 minutes.
Nice. You didn't use my name right?
He blinks at you twice. Since I used to name it all, you
have arrived at your destination.
Oh, thank God. That's cool, that's cool.
And you arrive outside of the production facility with this
net runner in tow in the Delamaine vehicle.
Did you try and hide their identity?
Did you do anything with them? Oh, with this net, With this net
runner, Yeah, yeah. Is there a way?
I was going to say, is there a way I could whip up like an
avatar real quick that would just kind of like show up on
him? On stream, like yeah,
absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Something like that. Roll AD 10, see how good it is.
You got it. No, Oh no dude, you had to do
this quickly. You do.
You did an AI and his hands keep on molding together.
I. Was never.
I'm not I was never good at this part.
I usually Commission these. I'm I'm sorry, and it's an older
avatar. It's one of my older avatars
too. So it's still got the maid
costume on it and you know, you look kind of good though one.
Recognizes me. I don't want them following us.
Yeah. Is there a are we talking about
like the camera inside the Della Maine?
The camera in the Della Maine was not on.
Also Della mains don't film inside.
That's the deal. Oh yeah, no, just put a filter
on them, man. Yeah, there's a filter on them,
but again, the hands keep on moulding together, extra fingers
keep appearing and it's just bad.
You're just getting fake fake. Fake.
Yeah. It's not my best work.
All right.
I had to go fast. Now this happy company building
is a little dirtier near an overpass from the corner.
It's in a construction district and you see the front door to
your left is an alleyway that leads down to some parking
spaces in the distance. There's a truck sitting in the
driveway, ready in the loading Bay.
You can see one guard just like fucking pissing around on his
tile, standing outside the front door.
Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo you. Want to go around the back?
I I want to just try and walk in.
I want to see what would happen. I think that they don't care
here. So just confidence walking in.
I think if we walked in like we like look, we look like we work
here, not the other building. Some of us look like I, some of
us look like rats, but like like possum.
Possum. Sorry, wrong rodent.
Not not rodent, actually Persupeal really.
What are they? Marsupial.
Come on, guy. So like a koala.
Kind of neat look. I send him a whole video essay
on possums and. Just watch all the detent to see
how good this video essay is. Oh my God, all the possums are
molding together. I want to spend hold on.
I want to spend all my luck on this one.
I'm spending all my luck on this one.
Five luck. Here we go.
Yeah. It's a night with priorities.
I like that it is the best video about possums you've ever seen.
Yeah. And it's this is Part 1.
It's three hours and you know, just watch it when you got time.
Yeah, you already have hit like on the video.
You've also subscribed to the channel.
They're Lumen. The other thing though is that's
a really high roll, so it also gives you a plus one to your
next two skill checks. That's.
Nice. Awesome guys, spend luck on
everything, just say. So, confidence building.
Let's go. Let's just walk in.
I love, I love following confidence.
Yeah, let's do that. OK, I'm I'm just going to slowly
step back with Cargill and backs and just back.
Just just be ready for if this doesn't work.
I'm anticipating it. I think because things have
worked out thus far fairly easy besides the gunfire in the first
bit that I, I, I just think that like, yeah, dirtier building.
We will. This is going to be so smooth.
Seriously guys, I would like to just walk right up to the front
door. That's the loading Bay.
OK, I would like to move away from the loading Bay right up to
the front door pass this guard just wave just like hey.
Hey man, just walk. You wait.
Just by a minute or two. Cool gym, whatever.
The door's not locked. I can't believe, Oh my God, I
can't believe that word. This time I know it's a push and
I'm just going to walk right. And you walk into the lobby of
this building and there in. I've got Frank on my back.
Someone has to carry him. He's wrapped himself in a trench
coat that's hiding his face. And as you step into this
hallway, you look out towards the factory floor, and they're
standing in the doorway right after a sign on the ground that
says be happy is a tallish man. Similar hairstyle to Frank,
similar build, same nose, but in a very smart business suit.
And oh, he's pretty far away, so you can kind of hear him
shouting at people in the room. Would you do this?
Would who do what? You.
I'm trying to think right now. I'm going to look over at Frank
real quick. Hey Frank, I think you might
have something in your eye. Can you close your eyelids for
me real quick? Sure.
Why? I got to, I got to get you got
like one of the like an eyelash or something in that.
I got to get that and I don't want to like poke your eye out.
He does. Do they have lettering on their
eyelids? No.
OK, balls alarm. What's going on?
This is deep lore. Well, hey guys, we got to get to
work, right? Shit's about to start, right?
We're going to be going on. We don't want to be Krampuses
before Christmas, right? Yeah, no, we should be happy.
To mainframe computer. I'm just following Newman's
lead. Confidence.
We're supposed to be going. We're supposed to go.
You step into the room and you're standing behind.
We step up to the door and you're now standing just about
15 feet behind this guy. I'm just I'm just going to wave
to the guard hi and just I it worked so far.
Let's. Try this mission.
Oh shit, wait, I'm decent at talkies.
OK, hold on. And you get this one.
Oh my God, you know what? I would like to also use all of
my luck. All of it now.
Right now. He's just.
Ache. It can only pay off.
It's only a good thing. Only you're right, I've I've
been shown that gambling is good and I should always do that.
Amazing. Ah Dang it.
Ah, Dang it. Ah God, where is this?
Gotta hit sometime. It's gotta hit sometime.
OK, persuasion. It's in social. 14 + 8.
Yep, that's good enough. The That's a very high roll and
the the security guard looks at you with a gaggle of other
people and just assumes that you're the night shift and then
goes back to playing a game on his Agent 0.
My God. I don't think 14 would have got
us there, so I'm glad I spent that again.
Always gamble kids. Because you rolled so high, the
other thing you notice is that the guy standing in the doorway
is Mervyn Wise. That could cause a problem.
He's facing away from you right now.
I know, but I know the group I'm with and that could cause a
problem. There's no dead bodies to throw,
so we we have a little bit of time.
I mean, I look over to Frank and and and Retro, we just pop him
now. Is that is that what we do?
Work get to fucking. Work.
We're trying to make money this fucking season and if you want
to get paid at. All.
Get to fucking work. Me saying this to the workers in
the room. I can't believe how many people
have called out the week of Christmas like you have
something to fucking do. I'm just but boss, you said.
I didn't say shit. Shut the fuck up, Kenneth.
Yes. Sir.
Kenneth. I just want to, I want it noted
that while he's screaming at other workers.
I almost go, it's like, yeah, you're right.
I'm sorry. I'm just going to go get to
work. Well, some of us can take on
Pervin. Mervin and other people can go
and find Frank's sister. He.
Wants to get something else from this next room.
Roll Perception. I do.
I want to see I'm looking at this like there this mainframe
computer. That's what I'm looking at.
At the end of the room. Yeah, it looks similar to the
other one. Right.
It's almost like the maps I made helped you work out.
It's without me saying it. Weird.
Love that though. Neon Pass.
Yeah, you recognize right in the middle of the machine, you see
the the little line where the door will open, just like in the
other room you were just in maybe 20 minutes ago.
Gotcha. Hey.
Is anyone else good at talking? That's you, Mr. Pocket.
I can talk to Mr. Weiss. OK, you distract him.
I'm gonna go over to that computer over there.
Is there like, is there like a worker uniform or anything like
that? I could maybe like grab and put
on just like a jumpsuit. I can like get on real fast.
So you're looking through the little cubicle in where the
security guard is who's playing a game, and behind him are these
three cabinets. Yep.
And they have like glass doors. And there's a series of of
uniforms. And one of the actual lockers
genuinely says spares. Oh my God.
Hey, perfect. I just hey, just going to I'm
talking to the the guy just going to grab a just need a
spare. Oh shit.
Did you forget your fucking? Hell yeah, right.
Here's a mask. Remember that the the the the,
the chemicals in the red barrels are very caustic and explosives,
so you know, no smoking inside. Of course, Yeah, yeah.
Because you probably forgot that if you're dumb enough to forget
your uniform, you dumb. Fuck man, it's almost Christmas.
Come on. Yeah, I know.
It's almost Christmas. How you we haven't hired a new
person in months dumb ass. He throws you at.
You should. Know better?
I just kind of mumble under my breath.
Thank you and I. Died in my game, fucking Dick.
Yes, I, I put on this and I'm going to put this on and then
I'm going to try and make my way.
Just great. You're something to hang up,
yeah. Yeah, what's up?
Forgotten uniforms and turn eddies.
Let's go. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
I give him 10. I give him 10 eddies.
He grabs it and you because you paid you don't have to roll roll
stealth if you want to move through the room.
You gotcha. Oh, stealth is.
Kind of crazy. Do you not have any?
Yes, you can cause a distraction and that gives them a + 1.
Lubin was going to go and talk with Mervin.
Yeah, I guess. I'll do it.
I'm waiting for that. I'm.
I'm waiting for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let me find stealth. And you want me to roll that
now, or do you want to wait? Wait for this distraction.
Wait for this distraction, because if it rolls really well
then maybe you'll get an even easier chance.
I have the stats but not the confidence to talk to someone
who is screaming lonely. No, no.
You built that confidence up. You had that confidence going
through that front door. You, you put, you put that right
back up. You got that?
Used it's you're talking to an introvert, you use that meter
up, it's gone. Like it's OK.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna walk right up to to behind him here.
Roll that high. Roll that high.
Use your luck. Shut up.
What luck? I get a plus one I think because
of the. One more plus one.
Yeah. Yeah, you do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Say yeah, use it.
Use it. Excuse me, Mr. Weiss.
Did did you just say my name? Maybe I have an important matter
to discuss with you, and I think it would be best if we did it in
private, Sir. He squints his eyes at you.
Kenneth, do I have any meetings today?
No, no, no, no. You, you, you wanted to it, it
says here, shout out workers for not doing enough work.
That's what you've got scheduled right now.
This has to do with the beta test Sir.
Really. Right.
And you're bringing that to a head executive.
Why? I feel it would impact profits.
Well, persuasion. Come on.
Not conversation, it's persuasion if.
You want to use conversation? You can, I'm open to that.
That's fine. OK.
Let's go.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Profits. You say fine, Kenneth, make
these people do more work. You teenager man with the hair.
Follow me. And he drags you to a staff
area, opens the door, and you're now in a room with Mervyn Wise.
You too get the fuck out. And a guard and a worker get out
of the break room. And now you're alone in the
break room with Mr. Marvin Wise. Yeah, nothing is more belittling
than just being called a teenager, man.
This guy, so the guy's 24, like he does not look like someone
who could walk in and have any authority to do anything.
So it's just what, like work at the building?
Sure I have, man. Now I kind of wish you pulled
that prank on me, Ryan. Well, you could pull a brake on
him. You do have a gun.
He doesn't know it's not loaded. That's true.
Oh. Fuck.
And while you're deciding that neon, you are sneaking into the
room. I am.
That he he rolled A20 which is insane.
Yeah. So.
Great. You get a you get a bonus to
this room and to look like a worker it will not cost a lot.
OK gotcha. All I got I feel like all I got
to do is just not crit fail on this here we.
Go. Why did you say that out loud?
Hold on. Wait, wait, wait.
Oh, you. Have someone has an.
Inspiration. Someone does, then the other one
does. Oh yeah.
Yeah. I've been waiting.
Yeah, hold, hold off, hold, hold off because there's no possible
way. Yeah.
There's. No.
Way. Yes, exactly.
I like those odds. Never tell me the odds.
All right, here we go. Pretty medium, Pretty medium,
Pretty medium. It is a simple task to look like
a worker in here and according to rules as written a simple
task is ADV 9. Literally on this table I can
show you on this table a simple class of mine.
Yeah, you don't got to show me, I think.
Yeah, I think it's like it's so OK, Got.
Yeah, he's got the uniform on backwards, probably.
Yeah. He makes his way across the room
over to this thing. Neon, you're, you're streaming
this whole thing too, right? Yeah, I am.
I am. Hey Cargill, you notice any
defenses while Neon streaming? I know that you've been keeping
an eye on everything, so like since you've been watching the
stream, you notice anything out of the ordinary I've.
Been keeping a very careful eye on things and one thing I've
noticed is that and let's see what role would I roll to see if
I've noticed any specific defenses.
The the the basic bench answer is persuasion.
If you want to argue something else a little twistier, then you
may all. Right, give me a second.
My cat has walked in front of the screen and I can get him to
stop. We take breaks for all cats.
There we go, take a second tax. Meow, what up there?
Man, hey, that's Britt. That's Britt.
Hey, that's adorable. OK.
Anyway, what did you say should be wrong?
Theoretically. Persuasion.
Or you can not persuasion, sorry
perception. That's an awareness one.
I'm fine with perception. Let's see how it goes.
I'm going to use one of my many luck points.
Nice. Yeah, this is plus one.
Yes. Wow, that is a crit 18.
Nice. And what you notice is that this
room has several red barrels, red ones.
And you watch a lot of streams. The one thing that video games
has taught you is. Red barrels explode.
Yes, they do, Sir. All right, Sir, Retro, we've got
all these red barrels surrounding all of us all over
the place. If we need to make a big
distraction on the way out, we. Sat behind you, now in a uniform
that he grabbed earlier. Page the guy at the front and he
goes. If you blow up the building,
I'll pay you. Burn it to the fucking ground.
Let's let's let's get your sister first.
I. Mean yeah, makes sense to me
it'd be it's a whole claws and effect then did.
You say claws and effect. Yeah, A. 100% he.
Did because he's that is. That is why a solid percentage
of this call actually died inside a little bit right then,
yeah. Honestly, I'm leaving.
All right, Neon, you're up against the computer.
OK, well I don't really know much about computers.
I don't know about all this and Retro was the one who opened it
up last time. Yeah, but who's in chat?
That's a good point. Oh.
I I do a little. Outsource that shit.
Yeah, I go, hey, Retro, are you in chat everyone at Retro and
then just like at, at, at, at, at.
Cargill just kind of leans over to to OK here.
Look what? Why the hell does my tile keep
going off? Look at the chat.
It's just vibrating my ass cheek now.
Oh, in that case, don't look and enjoy.
You know what, I never thought about that.
I will take that advice. Oh, I'll add it back to you like
I'll just tell them the code for for it to get in, which was
2103. What'd you said?
2103. 214 you gave. Me the code number earlier.
That's for a completely different dual, but we're going
to. That was a different building, I
think that was. Yeah, I don't know, maybe it's
like you use the same password for everything.
Who knows? Yeah.
Mervyn's not the kind of guy that have several different
passwords. The password is password.
Right. Dollar signs.
I try 1234. I try, I, I, yeah, if I I try
that. Right.
Roll for it. Let's see if it's right.
What you want me to roll? What you want me to roll?
Basic computer. Yeah, electronic security tech
or basic tech. Yeah, basic tech.
OK, let's do basic tech. Here we go.
OK, 11. 11 retro I need you to roll something.
Where did I put bullshit on my shirt?
On my. Right.
Oh I I think I got something for this.
This don't work. Cool.
Wait, I'm staring at you. Fucking hell, 23.
I'm I have 3 doctorates. You too and you type in to chat.
What was the number? 2103.
And then something strikes you retro and you type.
No, wait. And then you send that number in
reverse neon. Do you put the reverse number
in? I do a quick poll to chat chat.
What are you thinking do we do? It says to use the reverse one.
All right, Yeah, we're. Like retro second guesses
themselves all the time. Do the second, do the second. 1.
I put in the reverse one. And the door opens and they're
in the room. There's a woman strung up,
crucified in the machine, just like her brother not 30 minutes
ago, cables coming out of her head and her eyes rolling back
into her eyelids. Oh shit.
I go over, I put my finger to my mouth and just say hush, we're
here to help you. We've got help.
Yep, Yep. We're here to do that.
We've got your brother. Not the aspirin.
Yeah, he's real close. Can you see?
I can't. I can see you.
Help me.
Here.
Hello, it's Ian from Respect the Crit, an inclusive tabletop RPG
actual play podcast about exploring new worlds.
Our camera pans down on the world of Ordmantel new
characters. Careless would like to make.
A counter offer Chinese 2 scoops Charizard if that's your voice,
I'm going to be so excited yeah and play in whatever we want to
play Sabak. What a great game from Dungeons
and Dragons. Can you roll another D 2012?
You for the next 72 hours are 12 years old.
Oh no, to the post apocalypse. He's a vault dweller.
You could probably tell with the jumpsuit and everything like
that. Hey lads, you got to tell me
where your vault is. It's not going to happen.
We've got stories in all kinds of settings, including video
games. This is going to be a Sephiroth
free experience. Horror.
Crawling out of the mirror, a nightmarish amalgamation of
twisted limbs and jagged teeth, it's visited a grotesque mockery
of humanity. Good.
And a Galaxy far, far away. It's fun, let's do it again.
And then he'll punch it and we'll go into lightspeed.
The dice tell a story and we have a hell of a lot of fun
rolling with it. No way are you?
Are you joking me? Whatever the system miss or a
hit, you always got to respect the crit.
Join us BI Weekly every other Wednesday for characters,
campaigns and new episodes anywhere podcasts exist.
In the other room, Lumen, you're standing in front of him.
He's looking at you and you're saying nothing.
Are you? Are you going to fucking talk?
Are you? Wait one second and he picks up
his device. Where's the mainframe alarm gone
off? Mr. Mervin, I really think we
need to discuss what happened to Group B in the testing facility.
I, I, I think it's going to be damaging to the brand if it's A.
Problem child, I just rolled A7 which means I'm SUS as fuck as
you and. He pulls out a gun and points it
at you. Why the fuck are you here?
Quality assurance. Cox.
The gun. OK, I know that that means
there's a bullet in the gun. OK, OK, OK, OK.
I OK. I want to de escalate the
situation. Sure.
And I've used some of my luck so if I fail there's no
repercussions. I buffering.
I want nothing but success for this company.
I have watched it grow and thrive and I want this year's
profits to be record. Right.
OK huh, I think I have a simple fix for your berserker shooty
shoot problem. Wait, you're a software?
Developer. Yes, let's go with that.
Interesting. Well, I've been thinking of
firing Natasha. And of course by firing I mean
fucking kill her. So if you can fix my little rage
problem, you'll have yourself a deal.
Raw persuasion. I'd like to discuss that exit
strategy. Is that for all employees or is
that just oh fuck. There's a three hour long exit
interview with four different people.
Oh no. Oh no.
No. So I pull out that gun.
So you pull out your gun. I I stink.
I think I did. Yeah.
No, I, I I think I I yeah. No.
I pull out. I shaky hands pull out gun.
That's Maggie's gun. She was not doing a very good
job, so I took it. I think you better tell me
what's going on. Can we both lower these guns?
No, you roll the crit fail. OK, that's fair.
That is fair. So as you know, Group B has had
a poor track record up until now.
Yes, only two of them know, still low percentage on a larger
scale. And then by January we'll have a
an update to solve the rage problem.
But here's the thing, if you say anything to anyone, I will
personally make sure that you're a dead man.
No, no, no. I signed an NDA.
Yes, you did. Yes, yeah.
No, it's. I'm not talking about.
Taking you to court. I'm talking about taking you to
a grave. You are pointing a gun at me.
I I believe you. I believe you.
So the. Thing is is I work here, I work
for this company, I own this fucking building.
So if I want to. Point the gun past your ear and
pulls the trigger and throws a hole through the door.
I can fuck anything I fucking want and vex and.
Cargill you hear gunshot. Oh no, I.
Think he's dead? It's a fair assumption.
Honestly. It's been a long time coming,
you know, It's after I used all my luck too.
I feel like that's karma. I mean I.
Should have. Held on to it, yeah.
Keeping me OK. OK, the impossible something to
get her out of the pod while this is.
Happening. Yeah.
OK, I want to say I want to use. I want to say I'm not great with
computers, I'm not good with net runners, but I've done enough AV
in my life. I've done like I know how to
hook up the VCR to the friggin TV.
All right, so you can. Set a timer on that thing.
Yeah, you're blinking. You're blinking little clock on
that motherfucker. I, I I have.
Yeah, I I've, I've done it all. I've got obs up and running.
Problem solved. So much so I'd like to try and
use photography film if. Fuck off.
Yeah, sure. No snow.
The same thing that's happened all night.
Yeah, fuck it, go for. It.
How's it 15? Damn, yes.
So you, you you you go to set up the best angle and then you plug
you. You can I can I suggest a really
dumb way of this working. Yes, absolutely.
Please. So you set up your camera and it
needs a power hook up and you're like oh fuck, and you just
unplug a PowerPoint and it just shuts.
Down the machine. Oh.
Great, let's go. You capture it on film.
Yeah. All right, Ted, look.
Hey, did you just. Yeah, Was I was that bad?
You know what? No time you.
See the cables as they fly off the back of her head and the
machine opens. They spark a little bit and she
definitely takes some damage. She's not dead, but she is hurt.
OK, I'm sorry about that. Fuck, why don't you get on my
shoulder here? Just get.
Just get my shoulder here. I'm sorry, I'm sticky.
I, you know, I, I felt stickier. It's, it's fine.
It's OK. Out the door to the right, the
door is locked. Out the door to the right, the
door is locked. I've thought about this for
months. Out the door to the right, the
door is locked. Locked the door to the right,
the door is locked. OK, out the door to the right.
The door. Is locked second door would lead
us through the through the staff area.
I think I downloaded the blueprint for the floor.
So you come out, you turn right, you walk about 25 feet, walk
along the wall, go into the staff area.
We can get in the back. That's where the staff parked
their cars. You can hot wire a vehicle,
right? Is it just?
You. Yeah, sure.
Fuck, I thought there. 'D be more people to save me.
No, there are. We've got your brother two.
Hey, we've, we've got him out there.
They're on the other side of the room.
Actually, we've got a a a guy running distraction.
God, I hope that gunshot was not him.
Fighting it and Vex and Cargill. Do you check out the gunshot?
I think, yeah, I think we have to, don't we?
Yeah, yeah. So.
One last idea. So in that case, do all four of
you want to head into this room towards the staff area?
I would like I would like to enter into the room, but if I
notice that everyone else is heading towards the staff area,
I'm going to actually take a step back away from that.
Towards the red barrels perhaps? Yeah, if I can, I'd just like to
say this. It's you see the red barrels to
your right. Yeah, yes.
While everyone else is going to be doing their stuff, Retro is
just going to go to every red barrel that they can and just
puncture as big of a hole that they can without being
noticeable. Sure, Roll for it.
While the others open the door. Vex and Cargill, you see Mervin
and Lumen. Do you see the bullet hole in
the door? And Lumen's, like, got the gun
up. Yeah.
Finger over the trigger. Like, yeah, Retro, you managed
to puncture every one of the barrels in.
Just like in that really frustrating Call of Duty level
where they don't tell you to do that, but it's the only way to
finish the mission. Yeah, and it's just.
Leaking everywhere now. The machine next to the red
barrels is full of fuel. It is a.
It is used to fill the barrels. Oh yeah, I'd like to sever that
pipe too. Cool.
Now fuel is starting to pour all over the ground.
Roll evasion so it doesn't get on you.
Nice. Seventeen.
Yeah, you avoid the spray, but it gets all over Chemist.
Fuck. That shit fucking it's yowling.
It's you. It's it's it's.
Been the time I've stuck with Deb, I've learned how to be able
to see where the spray is going to happen.
Dude, what the fuck, man? What the fucking new employees?
Who? Who hired you?
Mervin. Well, I'm his assistant.
You're fucking fired. Get out.
Fuck. Oh shit.
Well, what about my exit interview?
That happened via a video calling.
You know it. Get the fuck out of the factory
out now. No, I want, I want my last
paycheck now. I'm going to disguise a
distraction. I want my last paycheck now.
If I'm fired, give me my last paycheck now.
Vex and Carville, do you do anything about this stand off?
No, I don't. I don't.
I'm going towards where the bullet.
That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about the standoff between Lumen and Mervin.
Retros. That's bold of you to call that
a standoff, but. OK.
If you have a gun, yeah, I did. I didn't picture that as the
standoff can't do. I I have one last thing I would
like to try and this this is either going to work or get me
shot in the face. So OK, I think you misunderstand
me. I think I found something that
can cause a very temporary media blackout if people search for
terms like rage blackout and ball and cup equal murder.
I think as you know, if you file A1099G with the city then you
can temporarily block out words on the net, and while they're
looking into it, it would give you time to put out that patch
by January. I'd like to roll bureaucracy
please. Oh my God.
Absolutely. Yeah, Yeah.
Holy shit pulled card with paperwork.
You distract me with oh. No.
Stop. Do not shoot you in the.
Crab wait. I have an inspiration point.
Oh my God, Lumen. Please.
Sir. Lumen, allow me to give this
unto you. You.
Get it? Yeah, I don't.
Fuck this up. Oh man.
Holy shit that's a 20. One, there we go.
And he, he's about to shoot you in the foot.
Fine, I have my people call you people.
My assistant's called Kenneth. He's an absolute piece of shit,
but he's fairly efficient. OK.
Also real station don't play the game, it fucks with the brain.
Then we are done here. Yeah, yeah.
But. After sales go out on Christmas
Day, our stock should be up, so maybe invest.
I think that's insider trading. I I don't think you're supposed
to to to do that. Fuck up you penalty, yes.
Yes, Sir. OK, I will go and tell.
That's 21. So I'm going to leave you in
this room and step out right into the face of Car, Bill,
Forge and Bags. Oh.
Oh, good. You're Mr. Wise, right?
We need you right over here. And.
As soon as he turns, I'm gonna pull up my heavy pistol into his
head and pull the trigger. You're gonna shoot him in the
fucking head? I'm gonna shoot him in the head.
Talk like that. I just talk so much.
You didn't have to do that. He didn't shoot you.
He. Did he would have done that
though? Oh wow, executioner style.
That's so fucking cyberpunk. It's very cyberpunk and cold as
hell. Sorry Mr. Wise, here's your
severance package. That's some dark shit.
Do you just? Rolls for gun.
Yeah, you have to roll a gun. I have to know if it misfires.
23. But don't do that good.
We're out of stuff to pull so. He's had a 23 What?
And you shoot him through the fucking eye.
Bullet cascades through his fucking head and he drops the
floor and starts to convulse. He's still all right.
Let's go. Somehow a little alive, but in
that way of like someone fucking dying.
There's not much to this world. But in this moment, as he drops
to the floor, you can see Frankie running through the
floor, you fucking prick. And he jumps on this guy and
starts beating him and beating him and beating him.
And as he keeps beating him, his face starts to cave in and blood
is flying off this guy's hand as his sister walks up and grabs
it. Stop.
He's dead. Now all the workers in the room
are looking at you. Fair Kenneth across the room was
trying to pay attention to Retro, but after seeing someone
get shot in the head, everyone's looking at you and Mr. Wise is
dead. Now it's probably a good time
for all of you to run. I feel like you've just pulled
out a grenade. Is that a some type of me?
I I, I don't think I have a grenade, but it does you.
Have a grenade. I'm the jeweler.
He pulls out a grenade. I I pull out a grenade and say
it's time for all of you to run. Hey man, you.
Don't have to tell me twice to shop this shit anyway, get.
Fucked and he runs some other words.
And you're looking at these, this, these twins, they look
exactly alike, except one is female and one is male.
And she's holding his arm as it drips with blood above their
dead brother's body. Neon, you've got a great angle
of this, this moment. I'm going to say this is cinema,
this is cinema chat. Let me see the cinema emote.
I want to see you spam that. Emote only chat.
Well, we can get a better view here if we leave and then make
this place go boom. So let's let's go.
Can't hit the cinema emote and hold this grenade at the same
time. Roll, resist, torture drugs.
You see, The thing is. You can't say things to me.
All right, now, here's the fun part.
Leon, roll something. Oh, and if you roll under that,
he resists touching the emote. If you roll over that, he drops
the grenade. I think it's got to be
persuasion, right? Yeah.
Does that sound good? Yeah, this is one of those times
where you want to roll out. It's going to get hard.
No. He run.
All right. Yep, you, you go.
You're like, Oh yeah, I love that emote.
Fuck this grenade barrels here I come.
You you all hear this grenade unclick the pin fly off and
twang under one of the conveyor belts and it slides next to one
of the barrels and makes a Dong noise which causes Kenneth to
turn around. That sounded like a grenade.
And then you hear beeping. Kenneth, I got to talk to you at
some point. But when I hear beeping, I start
running. Cinema.
OK, let's go. Is there?
An emergency exit sign that's closer than where we came
looking. Past Mervyn's body, you see a
door that leads Outback. It's unlocked.
Perfect to. The right to the right,
everyone. Well, that you're right.
My right. Everyone who wants to leave are
all athletics. Oh wait, I pulled.
Oh man, this isn't good for me. Can I use all my luck?
Yeah. I will use more points of luck
for mine as well. Cool.
I would like to use all my luck team.
U0. Oh yeah.
Can I gift? Can I gift my last three luck?
No, you don't need to. Everyone rolled above, no one
rolled. You're running out of a bill.
It's not hard. There's a There's a sign.
We we've, we've fallen in front of the front door before.
Carville. Carville used lock.
You use everyone rolled over. Yeah, everyone's rolled over
mid. That's fine.
Yeah. None of those numbers make me
feel like I should punish any of you or kill you.
Thank you. And you run Outback and there
are a bunch of vehicles. The Frankie grabs his sister and
and pulls her out of the building.
Goldie, we have to get out of the city.
She puts her hand up against the car and it starts.
Yeah, thanks. Before you go, before you go, is
there anything you want to say to stream?
Frankie puts out his hand towards you in a handshake
motion. Neil.
Oh yeah, I switch. I switch over the camera holding
hand and put it and grab him. Yeah.
And as you feel this hand grab you, it's cold but it tingles,
and you feel it communicate with your inner Chiron and some of
your streaming software. And there's this tingle across
your body as you get 1000 Subs. Split the money with your
friends. Thank you for saving us.
And then you hear the beeping get faster and Carville, you
turn around and there's a grenade next to one of the
barrels and and you need to get away from the fucking building.
Clothes that are behind them. Let's go.
And as you close the door, you can hear an explosion and the
door buckles. The glass around the building
explodes out of the sides and you will run away into the
darkness of Night City, the fire of this building rising higher
and higher as every piece of this horrible exclusive
Christmas product goes up in flames.
Mervyn wise dead. That shitty guard who charged
you $5 dead. The regular workers survived
because you didn't kill any of them.
Kenneth is on fire, running because he was covered in
petrol. Oh my God.
As he runs into the distance to try and find a fire hydrant or
something to help him. Maybe he's dead.
We'll find out one day I suppose.
But you watched the twins get in the vehicle, smile at you and
drive off, never to be seen again.
And that is how you all save Christmas.
And just remember, Chad Happy Company is having a fire sale.
And that ends this year's Christmas side quest glitch,
Miss Greed. It certainly was explosive this
year. Before we say our goodbyes for
the year, here are a few words from our friends at Dungeons and
Randomness. Everybody, I am your friend.
Ryan Haywood. I've been so thrilled to be here
with you at no latency. You can usually find me on
dungeons and randomness. Hey everyone, this is Ryan
Garner. Thank you so much for listening
to No Latency. You can find me over at Dungeons
and Randomness. That's the only thing I do
besides work and family. Hey Ian Duncan here.
Thank you so much for listening to the No Latency podcast.
Had an incredible time on this episode.
You can find me on Dungeons and randomness.
You can also find me on our other podcast Respect the Crit
and you can find me on social medias at idunks if if you want
to catch me there. Thank you so much.
Folks, my name is Jason Massey. I usually DM for the Dungeons of
Randomness podcast, so getting to be a player tonight was
absolutely fantastic. We met Paris at Dragon Con and
he is super charming and we loved everything he had to say
about playing the game, so we wanted to hang out afterwards.
So thank you so much for having us.
We really appreciate all the work.
And where can we find you, Jason?
Oh yeah, I'm a terrible businessman.
You're. Going to.
Say, come on, I I don't, and I don't know how this is my
career. You can find us wherever you get
your podcasts, The Dungeons of Randomness, where we're on
Twitter, we're on Facebook, we're on all that.
But honestly, just if you're curious, check us out.
That's the softest sell. That's good.
Hey everybody, it's your favorite TV Head Retro AKA Evan.
You can definitely always find me here at no latency.
You can also check me on my other podcasts Save the D8 which
we will be starting a new season hopefully sometime next year.
And I've also been streaming with my friend Neon Pass as well
so you can check me out on twitch@retro.tv.
Also come check out the discord, a lot of the cast actually hangs
out there a lot. And thank you everyone for
listening to this seasonal no latency side quest.
We had an amazing time for the Dungeons and Randomness crew as
they saved the city with Retro. Please do check out all of our
socials. And of course, none of this
would be possible without our amazing patrons.
If you'd like to support us further, you can check out our
patron, which has both free and paid posts for you to enjoy.
But regardless of how you enjoy us, we're glad that you're here.
Have a wonderful holiday and a happy New Year and we'll see you
next time in Night City. They're cool tunes.
That's how you smell yourself, that was.
Awesome. Thank you for joining us on our
adventure once again here at No Latency.
Don't forget to follow us on Twitter at No Latency Pod.
Check out our website at nolatencypodcast.com.
And if you'd like to support us further, we have a Patreon, get
exclusive content, spin offs, bonus episodes, bloopers, ad
free episodes, and so much more with weekly content to say thank
you to our supporters and even spice up your own Cyberpunk Red
games at home. No matter what level your
support, Thank you again so much for listening.
We literally couldn't do this without you.
And of course, we'll see you next time in Night City.
Thanks for listening, Jim.