1 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,320 That's what I feel like Scripture has been for me when I 2 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:09,760 explored on my own is like the moment of walking up the 3 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:11,960 mountain and like, sometimes it's hard and you can't figure 4 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:13,880 out what is this thing connected to. 5 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:15,720 And I don't understand this because I'm not a biblical 6 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:18,680 scholar, but I'm just going to like, trudge through this for a 7 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:20,720 little bit and I'm going to see if I find something on the other 8 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:23,440 side of it. And it's been rewarding every 9 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:27,240 time. Well, hey everyone, and welcome 10 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:29,280 back to the Grace Church Members Podcast. 11 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:32,119 I'm your host, Whitney Maynis here with Scott Mzingo. 12 00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:33,680 How are you today, Scott? Hey, Whitney. 13 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:35,560 Good morning. Good morning, Good to see you. 14 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:39,080 And it is my privilege to introduce our guest for today. 15 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:43,040 I've known her for a few years now and she's one of those 16 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:46,040 people that I find myself in conversation with. 17 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:49,640 And she will just in the middle of her sentence like drop a 18 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:51,720 little truth bomb and then keep going. 19 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:53,800 And I have to be like, wait, wait, wait. 20 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:56,200 I need you to go back. I need to say that one thing 21 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:57,760 again. And she's like, oh, you mean 22 00:00:57,760 --> 00:00:58,880 this? And I'm like, yes, that was 23 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:03,120 actually life changing for me. And I just love being around 24 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:04,280 her. She has a deep love for 25 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:08,240 scripture and she loves story both in her own life and in the 26 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:11,480 local church. And she's just cool and fun. 27 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:14,560 So I just wanted her to come and share a little bit of what God 28 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:19,080 has been teaching her recently. This is Jackie Davenport. 29 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:22,400 Jackie, can you tell us a little bit about yourself, what campus 30 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,800 you're at, where you serve, and just what life looks like for 31 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:27,280 you right now? Yeah, totally. 32 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:30,920 So I am Jackie Davenport. It is true that I really do love 33 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:34,000 good stories and I have said for a long time if I have two paths 34 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,440 of a road to go down, I usually will pick the one that has a 35 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:39,440 better story at the end of it. We've really thought, yeah, 36 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:40,560 yeah, we love. Absolutely. 37 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:45,040 But I am at Pelham. I've been there for I think 15 38 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:46,760 years now, so that's a pretty good amount of time. 39 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:48,880 That's right. I serve in a bunch of different 40 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,760 ways, but my husband and I have a Home group, which is great. 41 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:55,200 He serves and plays keys at the Pelham. 42 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,760 So I technically feel like I'm like an adjunct part of the 43 00:01:57,760 --> 00:01:59,720 worship team because I watch the kids so that he can serve, 44 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:00,360 right? Absolutely. 45 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:05,080 And then I also do some photography for Grace and then I 46 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:07,920 am our team Lean at Pelham for women at Grace. 47 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:09,000 Awesome. Yeah. 48 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:12,520 And tell us a little bit about family and work and all that. 49 00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:16,040 Yeah, so I am, I work for a physical therapy company, so I 50 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:17,800 am a physical therapist, but I'm a weird kind. 51 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:21,240 So I really like education and teaching and learning more than 52 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:23,200 anything. So I manage post professional 53 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:27,320 education for a national company and we have two kids at home. 54 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:30,040 So Anna is 7 now and Micah is five. 55 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,520 And they are super fun. So they are really great little 56 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,800 kids. I'm, I try to tell people the 57 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:38,320 dog description of them, like Anna's like a border collie and 58 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,800 like us like a goldendoodle. No, they're really fun and we 59 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,520 don't even have dogs, but that just feels like it describes who 60 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:44,280 they are. Accurate. 61 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:44,680 Yeah. Yeah. 62 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:49,760 So parenting season for us a ton and working and serving and 63 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:51,000 really just kind of enjoying it there. 64 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,840 It's a fun stage right now. Jason's also PT. 65 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,360 He is, yeah. He's also PT. 66 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:59,160 Nice, so busy and but life is good and life is good. 67 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:00,760 Lots of good things to think about. 68 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:04,480 Well, we are just grateful that you are here with us today. 69 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:07,320 And for those of you listening, a little bit of our thought 70 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:10,360 process, if you've stuck around with us for a while, we've hit a 71 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:12,160 lot of topics. We've talked about a lot of our 72 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:15,480 ministries and we were like, we really just want to hear from 73 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:18,520 some of our members, like the experience of being in the 74 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:20,720 church. And as much as we love our 75 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,880 staff, we've just got talented people to talk on a bunch of 76 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:26,000 things. But we also like to talk about 77 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:29,520 Ephesians 4 verses 11 through 12, where it's the role of the 78 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:32,560 staff to equip the members for the work of ministry. 79 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:36,600 And we do just have incredible members who are doing the work 80 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:39,160 for the body of Christ. And Jackie is one of those. 81 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:43,280 So yeah, starting out. I mean, Jackie, just tell us, 82 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:46,920 kind of an open question for you, but what is God been 83 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:49,320 teaching you recently? And have you just seen his 84 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:52,480 presence at work in your life? Yeah, I think it's always like 85 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:54,520 such an interesting question because I feel like if you 86 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:57,000 picked work or you've picked family or you picked just 87 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,600 personal life, I feel like I'd always give a different example. 88 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,040 And if anybody's listening and they're under the age of 20, 89 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:03,760 they're going to hear this and probably think it's crazy. 90 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:08,520 But I have been just in my head for probably the past 10 years 91 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:12,640 trying to understand how big God is just his. 92 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,640 I can put him in a box and make him really small. 93 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:20,240 I think if you talk about, you know, root tree of unbelief 94 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:23,720 things, I can make God intermittent where he is there 95 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:26,280 when I need him to be. And then I can put him aside 96 00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:30,280 when he's not needed or when I just think I've got it and I can 97 00:04:30,280 --> 00:04:32,120 handle it. Or if I'm just like tired and 98 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,360 just too busy. And I get to the point where I 99 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:37,320 realized, Oh, my goodness, like I haven't done what I've needed 100 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:40,400 to do to obey him in a day or sometimes even in a week. 101 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:44,080 And so just this discovery process of remembering that he 102 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:47,640 is way bigger that like, I can't ever put him in a box. 103 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,280 Like there's no way for that to happen. 104 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:55,360 And so for me, the past year has been just an exploratory time. 105 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:58,720 I've just been really surprised by how big he is in ways that I 106 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:01,520 never thought I would encounter him to be big. 107 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:06,680 And a lot of that has been through just being in scripture 108 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:08,680 and in scripture in a different kind of way. 109 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:12,680 So not necessarily reading a devotional book and letting 110 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,720 somebody kind of give me the things to think about, but more 111 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:22,000 just like the raw Bible itself. And Jim Taylor a year ago just 112 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,960 used this phrase while we were having a conversation one time. 113 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:28,280 And he said, I think you just let Scripture interpret itself. 114 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:31,480 And I thought that is something no one has ever really said to 115 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:33,880 me before. And it was incredibly 116 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:37,680 convicting, one, and two, helpful because I hadn't really 117 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:42,280 thought about how you can connect parts of Scripture on 118 00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:46,440 your own without external teaching to be able to pull in, 119 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:48,000 to really understand what was going on. 120 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:51,040 And that was huge for me. And so I think I've spent a lot 121 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:53,880 of this past year and God's just been really showing me how much 122 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:59,400 bigger he is than I think he is. And that's really helpful for me 123 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,560 because it's good for me to be put in my place. 124 00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:06,440 So yeah, was that a question you were asking, looking, seeking an 125 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:07,680 answer? How big is God? 126 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:09,240 Or is that just an answer that found? 127 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:11,200 You No, I was like trying to figure it out. 128 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:15,000 I mean that I've always felt like I need a sense of him being 129 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,640 huge. I I feel like I have a sense of 130 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:20,920 him being personal sometimes, but I think a personal God is a 131 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:25,640 is without the bigness and the greatness of who he is becomes a 132 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,360 moldable like little action figure I can keep in my pocket. 133 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:30,560 And that's not what I wanted him to be like. 134 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:34,400 I want him to be so big and so personal at the same time that I 135 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:37,960 feel the all of associated with having a personal relationship, 136 00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:41,440 if that makes sense. So that was more of me trying to 137 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:43,520 figure out. I feel like I understand that he 138 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:47,280 is a personal God, but I also at the same time want to understand 139 00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:50,440 his vastness and greatness so that I appreciate him for 140 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:54,480 literally being God like the most holy 1 and worthy of. 141 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:56,760 Yeah. So the two words we used in 142 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:59,760 Exodus 19 were transcendence and eminence. 143 00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:04,120 And I think people tend to err on one side or the other as far 144 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,200 as how they view God and emphasize it. 145 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:10,920 So you're basically saying that the eminence, the closeness, the 146 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:17,560 personal you connect with, but this big transcendent God was a 147 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,440 little bit more challenging. Yeah, I think it's just, for me, 148 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,640 it's just harder for my brain to wrap its head around. 149 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:24,560 And I but I think that's actually what has been really 150 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:27,160 been helpful about being in scripture, the way that I have 151 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,280 and the way that it's changed. Literally, I've never done this 152 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:31,680 before in my life. So like about a year ago, trying 153 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:35,320 to figure all this out and just the remarkable nature of being 154 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:38,480 able to trace something from the beginning of the Bible to the 155 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:42,160 end of the Bible and to see, I think it just settled on me that 156 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:45,240 like God is the same God. We sing that right? 157 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:48,880 Like, but it means something when you see him be the same God 158 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,520 in Genesis that he is in Revelation and you see him be 159 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:55,480 the same God in flesh in John that he is in the old. 160 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:58,440 And and you just like, there's something about that that feels 161 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:03,720 so much bigger than I ever could have found by looking in nature 162 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:07,320 or by going on a walk or by having a great conversation with 163 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,000 a friend or even just like a really good moment where you 164 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,200 know, like God is present in that. 165 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:14,920 There's something about seeing his consistency throughout 166 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:17,440 Scripture that I think has helped make him feel 167 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:20,200 transcendent. Like just that idea of him being 168 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:21,960 big. Especially when you're 169 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:25,680 considering like this book was written by multiple authors 170 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,080 thousands of years apart from each other. 171 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:32,280 And, you know, the newer authors were basing some things off of 172 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:35,200 the older authors. But some of it is just like, 173 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:38,120 there's no way that this could have been written without 1 174 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,360 spirit that is guiding all of it. 175 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,400 Oh yeah. And just how intentional it was. 176 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:45,360 Even as we've been through Exodus, being struck by the fact 177 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:50,960 that God puts forth, you know, the water from the rock as this 178 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:52,440 imagery. And you're like, this is a 179 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:54,040 little weird. It's a little random. 180 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:56,680 I don't quite get it. And then as you kind of flesh it 181 00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:59,200 out and then you get into the New Testament and you're like, 182 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:03,440 Oh my gosh, he's been so intentional and like planned all 183 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:08,080 of these details to come together for us to read in 2025, 184 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:11,800 you know, however many years later, which is, yes, a little, 185 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:14,360 this is. The first year I read Matthew 4. 186 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:17,000 Like one through 11. The temptation of Jesus and this 187 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:20,520 was probably I guess it was last year technically, but I read and 188 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:23,120 started to trace through Scripture like hey, where it is. 189 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:26,160 So Jesus says like, hey, you shouldn't test the Lord your God 190 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:29,440 as a way to just fight against Satan when he's like, hey, but 191 00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:31,480 God says he'll protect you, so throw yourself off this thing 192 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:32,560 and it'll be fine. Yeah. 193 00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:34,200 And Jesus is like, no, you shouldn't test the Lord your 194 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:37,440 God. And I went back into Deuteronomy 195 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,080 and like, found the verse that he quoted. 196 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,400 And then I read it and I thought, wait, that's not the 197 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:42,800 original place that that thing lived. 198 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:45,480 So I went back to Exodus and found where he said it. 199 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:48,040 And then I'm at the water at the rock and striking the water from 200 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,240 the rock. And I'm thinking, wait, hold on. 201 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:52,680 Like I know there's a part in First Corinthians where he says 202 00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:55,280 that Christ was the water in the rock and the thing. 203 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:58,840 And all of a sudden reading Matthew 4 feels entirely 204 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:00,920 different because I'm like, okay, here's Jesus in the 205 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:04,680 wilderness, having grown up knowing all of that scripture 206 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:08,680 and now in the moment being able to leverage it against literally 207 00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:12,040 Satan and what that looks like to have the knowledge of 208 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:15,560 everything in the past come into that moment. 209 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,120 And then reading afterwards, like Satan being like, hey, 210 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:20,160 I'll, I'll give this all to you, right. 211 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:23,440 And then reading ahead into Revelation and realizing he gets 212 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:25,760 it all in the end anyway. Like, yeah, so there's just 213 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:29,400 something about that that feels now to read that passage, it 214 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:31,320 doesn't just feel like the temptation of Jesus in the 215 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:33,240 wilderness and me thinking, man, he must have been hungry and 216 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:36,920 thirsty. Like it feels so much more in 217 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:39,040 depth. It feels he, Jesus, feels so 218 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:43,480 much more human at the same time, he feels so much more God. 219 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:45,200 And there's something about that that is super cool. 220 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,000 And I don't think I would have gotten there had I not spent 221 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,720 time to try to figure out like, hey, where do all of these 222 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:53,080 things connect? And then the same thing of like 223 00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:55,240 looking at all the ways that water flows throughout 224 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,360 Scripture. And they're in, it's in the 225 00:10:57,360 --> 00:10:59,560 Psalms. It's in almost everything that 226 00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:03,000 alludes to what heaven on earth will look like one day when the 227 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:06,040 new earth is is here. Like just the idea of everything 228 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:09,680 being clean and fresh and new and nothing being stagnant and 229 00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:11,920 old. And, you know, we're like, 230 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:15,320 mosquitoes live in my backyard. So I just like that. 231 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:18,080 It's fresh running water, it's nice a stagnant stuff. 232 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:21,040 Are you doing the study on your own or are you doing it with 233 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:23,080 your group? Yeah, that how's that working 234 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:25,360 out? Honestly, the first one, the 235 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:27,800 water from the rock moment and like the Jesus temptation that 236 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:31,080 ever I did on a receipt on the back of a receipt while Anna was 237 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:34,560 doing cold fish swims cool because I had 30 minutes and I 238 00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:36,200 was like, oh, I don't know what and I just like I'm just 239 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:37,800 thinking through. Something they were inspired by. 240 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,840 Yeah, and I was inspired by the water. 241 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,360 That's right, It's flowing. And I thought I got this. 242 00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:44,440 No, that is really great. I hadn't thought about that, but 243 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:46,160 that's really great. So comfortable. 244 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,560 And then I did it and it was so revealing. 245 00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:52,400 And so I mean, I told this story at one of our women's events, 246 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:55,840 but I went to New Zealand actually the year after, a 247 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,200 couple months after we went to Israel. 248 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,800 So I flew a lot of miles that particular year. 249 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:03,760 But I've just, and this is when I was fun, like before I had 250 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:08,720 kids, like decided that I was just going to go take a solo 251 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:10,880 trip to New Zealand. So I booked a plane ticket and 252 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,160 literally a backpack. Like I didn't even check it 253 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:14,400 back. I was just like, hey, we're 254 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,520 going to do this. And so I got there and there 255 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:17,880 were a couple things that I wanted to see. 256 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:21,480 I had more camera equipment that I had clothes in my backpack 257 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:23,600 because I was like, I can, I don't care about clothes, but I 258 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:26,240 care about pictures like that I can keep and I can have. 259 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:30,040 And there's this really famous tree in Wanaka and it's this 260 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,360 cute little like town that is, I mean, it's beautiful. 261 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:35,160 If any anything in New Zealand, it's just it's very easy to go 262 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:37,800 take pictures of. And this is I didn't need all 263 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:40,040 that camera equipment. I needed the old phone from, 264 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:40,720 right. I was in 15. 265 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:43,080 It would have been great, but there's this tree. 266 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:45,440 It's a little Willow tree and it's in the middle of the water 267 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,080 and it's one of those photographed trees in the world. 268 00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:49,880 So I knew about it and I thought I'm gonna wake up super early 269 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:52,000 and I'm going to get that really cool picture where the water is 270 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,000 crystal clear and everything is fine and it's going to be 271 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,080 gorgeous. And and I did that. 272 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,800 I woke up early and I got to the tree and there were like 10 273 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:00,040 other photographers there with me. 274 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,840 And I had seen the tree the day before in the sunlight because 275 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:04,840 it's like right there in the middle of the town. 276 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:06,880 You can't miss it. Like it's on the edge of the 277 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:09,280 water and it looks like it's all tucked back in the lake. 278 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:11,520 It's not it's like 20 feet from the like I could ask why I'm 279 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:13,120 doing touched it, but I think I would have got in trouble. 280 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:15,880 So I didn't do that. And I took this picture and it 281 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:17,800 was fine. Like it, it's a great photo. 282 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,200 It's really, it's really awesome. 283 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:22,200 But I knew the tree was there, so there was something about it 284 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,240 just didn't make it really special. 285 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:27,200 But the day before I was, or two days before that, I was in 286 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:31,040 Queenstown and I saw a mountain and a hike and I was like, oh, 287 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:34,720 I'll just go do that because that's kind of how again, 2 pass 288 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:36,560 and a road and I'm going to go take them on with a better 289 00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:39,160 story. So I go set off and the fire 290 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:41,800 danger sign is like on the full extreme red. 291 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:43,240 And I was like, no, that's probably fine. 292 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,720 Like, I guess I don't know. And this was before like cell 293 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:48,400 phones worked in other countries, right? 294 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:49,440 Or I wasn't willing to pay for it. 295 00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:52,040 One of those 2. And so I take off down the road 296 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,400 and I didn't see the sign that said how long it was going to 297 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,560 take to get to the top of the mountain. 298 00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:57,360 But I saw the mountain and I was like, it's not that big. 299 00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:59,320 Like I can probably do that. It's the arrogance. 300 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,880 And maybe like, I'm fine. I didn't have any water with me. 301 00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:05,600 I had 12 starbursts in my bag because who was prepared for 302 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:07,200 hikes, like high quality fuel, right? 303 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:10,720 Very excellent sugar intake. And so I take off down the road. 304 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:11,880 I encounter like some mountain goats. 305 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,760 There's nobody else on this path at all. 306 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:16,160 And I realize I'm walking farther away from the mountain I 307 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:18,480 thought I was climbing, which is kind of interesting. 308 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:21,400 And so I eventually figure out, oh, I'm climbing that mountain 309 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:24,480 over there like a mountain that was easily twice as tall as the 310 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:26,560 one I thought I was climbing. But I was committed. 311 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:28,200 And so I'm like, I can't give up now. 312 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,640 That's right. So I'm halfway up this mountain. 313 00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:32,760 It starts to get rainy and cold. Luckily I had a jacket and I'm 314 00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:35,320 eating snow off the side of the mountain and I it's cloudy, it 315 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,280 can't see anything. And I'm like, what am I doing? 316 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:39,240 I'm like, but I'm not, I can't quit now. 317 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,920 Like now is not the time to give up in this moment. 318 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:44,320 So I get to the very top of the mountain and it was one of those 319 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:45,920 days where I guess this happens on mountains. 320 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:48,760 I don't understand weather patterns, but there was complete 321 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:50,720 clouds on one side of the mountain and the other side of 322 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:53,560 the mountain was perfectly crystal clear and clean. 323 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:57,080 And there was a huge rainbow that was covering the town on 324 00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:58,960 the other side of the mountain. It's one of my favorite pictures 325 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:01,240 that I took at that whole trip because I climbed up a mountain 326 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:04,280 not having any idea what to expect, got up to the top and it 327 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,480 was just the most beautiful thing ever and no one else was 328 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:07,960 there. And there was something about 329 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:10,360 that moment. I was like, this is amazing. 330 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,280 Like if my whole trip's worth it just because of this moment. 331 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,520 And then a couple days later I go take a picture of the tree 332 00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:18,240 that I thought I was going to find right to be really 333 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,120 exciting. And it was just, that's what I 334 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:23,400 feel like Scripture has for me when I explore it on my own is 335 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,720 like the moment of walking up the mountain and like, sometimes 336 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,600 it's hard and you can't figure out what is this thing connected 337 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:29,720 to. And I don't understand this 338 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,240 because I'm not a biblical scholar, but I'm just going to 339 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:34,520 like trudge through this for a little bit and I'm going to see 340 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:36,200 if I find something on the other side of it. 341 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:38,800 And it's been rewarding every time. 342 00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:42,840 Like, so even finding something that feels little or tiny all 343 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,120 the way up to like huge Revelation moments. 344 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:48,920 So Jason and I were working through in our Home group, we've 345 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,200 kind of tried to take some paths and Exodus to try to figure out, 346 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:54,480 hey, what can we connect into the New Testament? 347 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:58,640 And so we did, remembering. We were just thinking about how 348 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:01,400 God commands the Israelites to remember. 349 00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:06,240 Like I am doing this for you as a sign of my glory. 350 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:08,360 And so this is going to be a big deal. 351 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,320 So we're not just going to make this a big deal and then you 352 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:12,520 just forget about it. Like it's like, no, you married 353 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:13,880 us. Like we have a wedding. 354 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:15,960 It's a big deal. Like, because it's a huge change 355 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:18,080 in what we're doing. And we remember that every year. 356 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:21,520 Yeah. And so just the idea of Jesus 357 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:25,320 and not Jesus, sorry, God commanding them, hey, put the 358 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:28,240 manna in a jar and like you're going to remember this is how 359 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,800 you were fed. So we started to look at other 360 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:34,120 times that got us commanding them to remember things like, 361 00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:36,360 hey, stack these stones, take them out of the river. 362 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,840 And this is the time that God helped you cross the Jordan. 363 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:41,560 And as we go back and look through it, I feel like I heard 364 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:43,640 those stories before. So I picture those like little 365 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:46,320 Instagram photos with like all the little rocks balanced on one 366 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:48,600 another. And that when you go back and 367 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:51,440 read the scripture, it's like they had a hard time carrying 368 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,160 those rocks. So you're like, it's not the 369 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:54,600 tiny little rocks that are about. 370 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:57,600 I mean, this is like a monument in some ways. 371 00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,840 And how many other times he just commands us to remember. 372 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:03,600 So it like the Lord's supper, Jesus sits down with his 373 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:06,400 disciples and he says, Hey, do this in remembrance of me. 374 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:10,280 And so just these commands from God and just being able to 375 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,400 thread all that through. There's something about it just 376 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:16,079 makes everything come alive and it's, you know, we don't have 377 00:17:16,079 --> 00:17:17,839 any biblical training. We're right. 378 00:17:17,839 --> 00:17:19,599 We're trying to figure it out as we go along. 379 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:23,280 But to do that in the context of group has been just really fun. 380 00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:26,119 It's it's been really fascinating. 381 00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:28,079 And I think most people are like, oh, I didn't think about 382 00:17:28,079 --> 00:17:29,800 that. Or someone else will jump in and 383 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:32,520 say, hey, that it kind of connects to this idea too. 384 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:36,400 And we end up learning together. Yeah, to your point, I remember 385 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:40,040 I was reading the book of John as we were going through Exodus 386 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:43,760 and there's the passes where Jesus is talking to some of the 387 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:46,160 Jews. They had said we've never been 388 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:49,200 slaves to anybody. And that was the thing that was 389 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,800 so clear to me because we had just done the piece about, you 390 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,800 know, them being slaves in Egypt. 391 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,360 And I was like, what do you mean you've never been slaves to 392 00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:59,280 anybody? And then, you know, if you know 393 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:04,000 about the exile too, you're just like, But then when you see God 394 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:08,280 emphasizing to his people so much, like you have to remember, 395 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:12,560 you cannot forget because. And that's just how we're bent. 396 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:15,880 And that's how I'm bent. Like, I just, I forget and I'm 397 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,880 like, yeah, I'm good. I got it. 398 00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:20,120 And I just don't. But I never would have seen that 399 00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:22,880 if I hadn't been doing both of those at the same time. 400 00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:28,320 And to your point of that story about hiking in New Zealand, I 401 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:32,520 think there is something about discovering something on your 402 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:37,120 own versus like just it being handed to you and fed to you. 403 00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:40,320 Like it just makes the experience of reading scripture 404 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,640 so much deeper and and so much more fun. 405 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:46,240 Like you just enjoy it and then you sit down and you're not 406 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,200 going to have that moment every single day. 407 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,920 But like, that's what you're kind of searching for is like, 408 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:55,160 oh, there is just so much written richness here that the 409 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,200 Lord wants to reveal to me in this process. 410 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,560 Yeah. So has that been contagious to 411 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,800 your group members and people that you're talking to and 412 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,240 you're sharing? Hey, I I've been doing this 413 00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:07,960 study about water and they're like, oh, that's great, Jackie, 414 00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:11,400 whatever you know, or, or are they like jumping in with you 415 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:17,160 like pun intended? And yeah, just wanting to keep 416 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:17,920 digging. Yeah. 417 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:21,160 I think over the past year, we've kind of when we first 418 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:24,600 started trying to, I don't know if the word threading is right 419 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:26,600 or connecting the dots or whatever we were trying to do. 420 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,640 We'd started in Revelation and we were looking at all the Old 421 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:31,720 Testament allusions to things in Revelation. 422 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,360 And what was helpful for us is that everybody looks at 423 00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:36,880 Revelation is like, I don't know what is going on right now. 424 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,720 And it was really hopeful to have some concrete things in the 425 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,640 Old Testament where you read and you're like, I do know what's 426 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:44,600 going on and then to see it reflected in Revelation and have 427 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,480 Revelation not be as intimidating. 428 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:49,160 So I think starting off that way was actually really helpful for 429 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,520 our group. But because we did that and now 430 00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:53,920 we're in Exodus, our group members are owning it. 431 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:59,320 So like Jason and I did the first two, but two other members 432 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:02,800 of our group last week did the hand of God and walked through 433 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,600 Scripture. And I think everybody's a little 434 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,960 bit nervous at the beginning because they're like, is, is 435 00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:09,200 this going to be as impactful as, you know? 436 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,560 Because to the point, like they're the ones climbing the 437 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,080 mountain and showing us the rainbow on the other side. 438 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:16,480 And so it's the mountain climbing process. 439 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:19,200 I think it's the part that is really like, if I just 440 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,680 helicopter you to the top of the mountain, it's not nearly as 441 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,080 fun. I mean, OK, that is still fun, 442 00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:25,560 but like, it's fun. Nearly as fun as like you having 443 00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:27,000 to work for it to get to the top. 444 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,640 But it has been a really cool process to watch people pick 445 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:33,640 things that I didn't see because sometimes the best learning 446 00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:35,560 comes from someone else trying to think through something and 447 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,240 then you kind of connecting the dots. 448 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:40,080 So they did the idea of the hand of God and just talking about, 449 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:44,400 you know, God striking the rock and, and everything that comes 450 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,600 like through the staff, like God saying, Hey, I'm going to 451 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:49,760 command you to do these things. But then we took it to Genesis 452 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,520 and then a little bit before that where, hey, like Jacob's 453 00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:56,280 hip gets touched by the hand of God and he is and, and just the 454 00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,720 power of the hand of God throughout the Old Testament 455 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:03,040 feels like it is mighty and it is weighty and it is something 456 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:06,400 that is in some ways destructive, but not in a bad 457 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,320 way. Like it just it it comes up 458 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:11,840 against for the brokenness of the world and it is winning. 459 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:15,120 And then to see that reflected in the New Testament. 460 00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:17,560 And Matt alluded to some of that a little bit with like Jesus 461 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:22,360 touching things and making them clean, but his touch is softer 462 00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:24,880 and a little bit more gentler. It feels more approachable. 463 00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:28,760 And then Jason just saying at the end of all of that, he's 464 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:30,800 like, yeah, we have the hand of God and the Old Testament and 465 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:32,320 then a new New Testament, and then they're nailed to the 466 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:33,880 cross. And So what does it look like 467 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,840 for the hand of God to be nailed for us? 468 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:40,160 And just that just thinking through all of that, I think has 469 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:43,560 just been, it's been really fun. I think our group has enjoyed 470 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:45,720 it. And I do think it is contagious 471 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:49,360 because you start thinking about one big book instead of in a 472 00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:53,080 bunch of verses that are broken apart, because then you get to. 473 00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:56,240 Revelation too, and we talked about how God puts his right 474 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:59,280 hand on yeah, John, you know, and just wouldn't attack the 475 00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:01,080 leading it that line. We got it. 476 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:02,560 We got. I have that set it in there. 477 00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:06,200 Laugh at it, you know, like even as we're just talking about 478 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,880 this, there is something about doing this with other people in 479 00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:11,960 community where you just to your point, you see things that 480 00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:15,600 somebody else didn't see someone else adds in and that's part of 481 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:17,800 the experience as well. So how has? 482 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,480 Growing in the the bigness, the understanding, the bigness of 483 00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:24,760 God, the transcendence. Then how has that been served to 484 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,640 strengthen the personal relationship? 485 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,920 Yeah, well, it. It's really easy to be anxious. 486 00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:33,000 I think just in general, that's like a, that's a word we love 487 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:36,440 using, right? So it is very easy to just think 488 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:38,200 that it's my job to handle it all. 489 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:42,040 And it the more that I realize how big God is, the easier it is 490 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,840 for me to just rest and that and they're like, OK, at the end of 491 00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:49,720 the day, all of the things that I get worried about or nervous 492 00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:51,400 about, I mean, Jesus is real clear. 493 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:53,440 Like I am not to worry about those things because they're for 494 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,120 tomorrow. Like today has enough trouble 495 00:22:55,120 --> 00:22:56,240 its own right. We don't need to worry about 496 00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,960 tomorrow. And, and so I think 497 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:02,680 understanding how big he is, I get to, I get to the end of the 498 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:06,360 crazy train a little bit faster, which is like in my head, that's 499 00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:08,640 the OK, if this doesn't work out and this doesn't happen, and 500 00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:11,800 then this thing doesn't go down and I can get very worried about 501 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,800 what will happen in the future. But I can get all the way to the 502 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,960 end a lot faster with a bigger God who says, hey, in this 503 00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:20,520 world, you're going to have a lot of troubles and difficulties 504 00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:22,000 and sorrows. But take heart for I have 505 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,080 overcome it. It's a lot easier to get to that 506 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,760 moment. And I think I can hit like the 507 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:29,960 Fast forward button. I, I still feel it right, If 508 00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:32,240 that makes sense. I don't, it's not like it's not 509 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:34,800 there, but I feel like I can hit the Fast forward button to get 510 00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:38,320 to Scripture a little bit faster and then it's truly restful. 511 00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:41,040 It's not just like reading the words and knowing that I should 512 00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:45,440 feel them, but I think God being as understanding and I think I 513 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:49,440 saw a lot to grow in and and him being bigger, but understanding 514 00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:54,720 his bigness and connecting that mind, understanding to my heart 515 00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:57,600 is what helps me hit that Fast forward button a lot faster to 516 00:23:57,600 --> 00:23:59,000 Scripture. Yeah, I think. 517 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:02,480 About that's a great, that's a great picture of hitting the 518 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:05,240 Fast forward button. And I think about reciting all 519 00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:06,400 the stuff that I'm worried about. 520 00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:14,120 And I'm I'm very eloquent and all that very well versed, but 521 00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:18,880 then trying to literally like change my posture, like lift my 522 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,760 eyes and then think about all the things I know about God, 523 00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:25,240 like the bigness of God. OK, so God is powerful and he's 524 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:28,000 ever present and he's sovereign and he's good and he's fair and 525 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,240 he's just and he's holy and he's all, you know, he's I'm, I'm 526 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:33,320 going through all these attributes of God and like, then 527 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:37,320 what I'm struggling with this doesn't really seem to be, it 528 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:39,560 doesn't hold up right. Yeah, it's like. 529 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:43,200 I can kind of. Be overwhelmed in a good way if 530 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:46,600 I keep the the eminence the personal nature like and yet God 531 00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:48,960 still knows me he loves me he's still called me you're not like 532 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:50,880 a little Ant on. The sidewalk that he's like, I'm 533 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:53,000 good with squish on you then then I'm reciting. 534 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,400 All the things he says about me as this child and my identity in 535 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,080 Christ. So I'm like, OK, this amazing, 536 00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:02,680 powerful, unbelievable God has adopted me into his family and 537 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:04,120 given me full rights and privileges. 538 00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:08,480 And, and then I'm like, I'm, I'm, my mind is kind of captured 539 00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:11,320 by all of that. And yes, my circumstances are 540 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:15,280 still there, but it's, I've been able to right size them. 541 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,560 You know, we, we've talked, we've talked to our kids a lot 542 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:20,600 about, you know, right sizing your efforts and right sizing 543 00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:23,160 your problems. And, and I think just being able 544 00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:27,120 to right size my faith with often means it needs to get a 545 00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:32,160 lot bigger, right get a lot bigger because God is there and 546 00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:34,640 God is working and I just need to see him and see what he's 547 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:36,440 doing. So I like where you talk about 548 00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:39,200 hit the Fast forward button and for me. 549 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:42,560 It has to be scripture on the end of the Fast forward because 550 00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:46,520 I will lie to myself about things that will feel good like 551 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:50,480 it. It has to be literally his words 552 00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:53,760 that are at the end of that or it doesn't for me. 553 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,920 It just doesn't work. So like it's real helpful. 554 00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:57,600 Like I mean, Daniel 318 has always been a first. 555 00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:00,520 I love of like there's just but even if he doesn't like all of 556 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:03,720 the things that I would want and desire and all these things, but 557 00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:07,040 but even if he doesn't, like we will not bow to to you and we 558 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:11,200 will not we'd like we we're good with whatever he says, even if 559 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:14,160 it doesn't come out to the to be the way that I wanted to be. 560 00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:18,000 It's like. It's like trying to grab sugar 561 00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:20,720 or am I trying to grab protein right? 562 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:24,520 So I. The Starburst, that's why. 563 00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:28,360 We add starburst the sugar. High is kind of the world and 564 00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:32,520 distraction and and it's going to it's going to take away some 565 00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:35,520 of the angst for for a little while, but it really doesn't 566 00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:37,240 give any kind of nutrients, right. 567 00:26:37,360 --> 00:26:40,480 But if we're supposed to be, you know, feasting and nourishing on 568 00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:43,480 the word of God like it's it is like true, true nourishment, 569 00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:45,560 true protein that's going to going to sustain us. 570 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:49,600 So, and Jackie, I do. Think you are very good at kind 571 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:53,520 of like even as you started explaining all of this, you're 572 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:57,320 talking about how you're like, OK, I recognize in myself that I 573 00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:00,360 tend to make God small and make him a little action figure in my 574 00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:02,400 pocket. And so I need to think about how 575 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:06,720 God is bigger and then here's some work that I need to go do, 576 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,240 but just isolating like what is the lie? 577 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,600 And you even mentioned the tree of unbelief, which is the tool 578 00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:16,160 that we use in women's ministry just to work through this is my 579 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:17,560 behavior. This is the fruit that I'm 580 00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:19,960 producing. But like what is the root of 581 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:21,880 that? What is what am I not believing 582 00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:25,560 about God? Do you have an example from work 583 00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:29,640 or from parenting or just life in general of how you have 584 00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:32,440 worked through some of that process of this is what I don't 585 00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:36,200 believe about God. And then this is the Scripture 586 00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:38,640 that I need to get to and not because not just getting to a 587 00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:41,120 point of like, but I just need to believe that God is good. 588 00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:44,320 OK, Where does the Bible say that God is good? 589 00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:47,080 Can you, do you have an exam? Let's see if I can. 590 00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:48,080 Do this. I don't know because I'm not 591 00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:49,800 prepared to do this. So let's do right? 592 00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:53,960 I know, I know. One of the interesting things 593 00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,760 that I have had to struggle with over the this is going to sound 594 00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:58,880 so funny that I had to struggle with over the past couple of 595 00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:00,480 weeks. And I told my Home group about 596 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,720 this is my daughter is now in second grade, which means she 597 00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:05,640 gets grades when she comes home from school. 598 00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:08,520 So this is no longer like, you know, I can color inside the 599 00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:09,720 lot. I actually hunt enough of the 600 00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:11,200 grade kids on that kindergarten, right? 601 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,640 But she now comes home with like real grades. 602 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:19,280 And I was the kind of kid growing up that like anything 603 00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:21,440 less than 100 was really, I had a hard time. 604 00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:23,560 I mean, that makes me sound very arrogant, but it wasn't like 605 00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:25,760 there's something about me just could not handle not being 606 00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:27,680 perfect. And I think we have a lot of 607 00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:30,840 that in a bunch of women and that that manifests itself in a 608 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:34,120 bunch of ways in your body image and whatever in our house and 609 00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:35,240 the way we decorate and whatever. 610 00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:37,440 But for me it was academic performance. 611 00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:40,240 And so now that I'm past that, which is amazing, right? 612 00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:42,640 Don't have to worry about getting any grades on anything. 613 00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:47,840 I did not see it coming when Anna came home with a bunch of 614 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,760 great at work and I looked at it and I had this, like, visceral 615 00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:53,920 reaction inside me. And I was like, what is wrong 616 00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:55,680 with me? Like, she's in second grade, 617 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:58,400 She's seven years old, and she's really smart. 618 00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:02,680 And so I was just, I realized how much work I had to do inside 619 00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:08,080 myself to get to the point where I was like, Hey, who she is is 620 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:13,000 not my job is not to create an academically brilliant child. 621 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:17,240 My job is to create a human being who grows up, who is 622 00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:20,120 made-up in the image of God, who loves Jesus and can spread his 623 00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:21,960 word. And that is actually how I have 624 00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:25,560 to reorient my soul. So I cannot be about achievement 625 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:29,640 and I cannot be about how does she reflect me when she means 626 00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:32,160 other people. What do the teachers think about 627 00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:33,600 her? And therefore they think about 628 00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:36,320 me, right? So I, and this the kind of 629 00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:38,840 grounding that I have to do in that moment is here's some 630 00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:41,400 verses I love where it's like, hey, whenever you think you're 631 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:44,200 too important not to help someone, like don't fool 632 00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:45,480 yourself, you're not that important. 633 00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:47,880 And I know that's about helping people, but again, in the same 634 00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:50,000 context, like it's really helpful for me to just remember 635 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:54,120 like not that important, like, and this is not that important. 636 00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:56,360 And I need to figure out how to work through that and let that 637 00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:59,360 go. And and so it's been revealing 638 00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:03,840 for just how much I like perfection around something. 639 00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:09,120 And I know when I've done some work just on like shame and 640 00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:12,120 other past things, just trying to figure stuff out about who I 641 00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:15,440 am and how I'm wired that one of the things I do tell myself 642 00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:19,240 quite often is God is perfect. And so I do not have to be, 643 00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:23,480 which is a very relieving thing for me. 644 00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:27,080 I should strive to be more and more like him, like, which is a 645 00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:30,560 perfect version of of myself. But I know that I don't get that 646 00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:32,640 here. And so there is a lot of rest 647 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:34,600 that I can do. And I just say like, hey, he is 648 00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:37,640 the one who is perfect. And he covers up my 649 00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:39,760 imperfection. And that has to be good enough 650 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:43,400 in this moment of me wanting to control that whole world. 651 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:45,160 Yeah, absolutely. Does that. 652 00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:48,480 No, that's great. I know you're like, let me think 653 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:50,400 about it for a second. I'm like, that's real. 654 00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:54,400 Who are just you're you're you've cultivated this way of 655 00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:56,320 thinking, you know, into your point. 656 00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:58,640 I think the more that we do that, the more that we even 657 00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:02,600 memorize those scriptures and hide them away in our hearts and 658 00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:05,080 then attach them. I like, you know, putting a 659 00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:08,160 theme on something or making it simple like God is perfect. 660 00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:11,400 So I don't have to be like, you can remember that as well. 661 00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:14,000 But that process becomes faster and faster. 662 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,440 I think that's what I've seen in my own life that like the more 663 00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:20,480 that I practice it, you, you hit the Fast forward button, you get 664 00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:25,480 from the panic to OK, wait, like here, here is what the truth is 665 00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:28,680 a lot faster, which is great. And I mean that truth. 666 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:32,080 Is real, like all those those truths are real, like the things 667 00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:34,320 that I make up in my head are not real. 668 00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,800 Like I have an incredible another thing I'm working 669 00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:38,360 through right now. It's just the idea of world 670 00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:41,320 building. So just just books where 671 00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:43,120 somebody can create something that's not here. 672 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:46,680 Like I mean, think Narnia is a version of that, you know, but 673 00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:48,720 I'm good with like any kind of world building book. 674 00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:50,520 I really like to watch somebody create. 675 00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:53,120 I think it just it points to the fact that like we have a 676 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:55,720 capacity that's outside of our understanding for this earthly 677 00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:57,200 world. Like I think we have the ability 678 00:31:57,200 --> 00:31:59,960 to imagine and see things that are different. 679 00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:02,800 But for me, I just have this incredible ability to just like 680 00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:03,920 create something that's not there. 681 00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:08,480 Like whether it is a fear or whether it is like a thing for 682 00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,320 the future or I can create something that I think I should 683 00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:13,480 have. And like one of my greatest 684 00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:15,720 fears is that I get everything that I want and it's not what 685 00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:17,480 God wants for me. And you're like, if that's a 686 00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:20,000 really good thing for me to just keep inside my head and that the 687 00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:23,600 privileges that I think I deserve or I need or I should 688 00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:26,680 have, like I, he gave up his divine privileges. 689 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:30,520 And so I need to be willing to give up this in this moment or 690 00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:32,240 whatever it is. And sometimes it's like the 691 00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:35,720 dumbest little thing, like the 10 minute, you know, freedom 692 00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:38,320 that I wanted to be able to get my laundry done or something. 693 00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:41,880 Like it's amazing how the little tiny life things can make me 694 00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:48,320 forget that my purpose in life is to glorify God and to to love 695 00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:50,520 and serve and obey him, like while I'm doing regular life 696 00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:52,840 things. So it is all of that is just 697 00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:55,440 really helpful for me to be convicted by and to think 698 00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:57,240 through. And yeah, that's why that's why 699 00:32:57,240 --> 00:33:00,080 I love memorizing scripture is because it's just there all the 700 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:01,960 time. Like you, you just get stuck to 701 00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:04,720 you. And that's a that's a healthy 702 00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:05,680 kind of sticking. Yeah. 703 00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:07,720 What I wrote down. And I'm trying not to. 704 00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:10,120 Yeah, I was really want, just wanted to reflect. 705 00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:16,040 But we tend to, we tend to pit grace and obedience against each 706 00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:20,160 other. So, but really the issue is, you 707 00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:23,360 know, like devotion, like do I love God with my heart, soul, 708 00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:24,280 mind, strength? Yeah. 709 00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:30,520 And so like when you're talking about raising your kids and so 710 00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:32,520 it's like, oh, there's a standard of perfection. 711 00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:34,280 They need to obey, they need to perform. 712 00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:36,040 Oh, and if they don't, I can give them grace. 713 00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:39,160 God gives me grace. But really what you said before 714 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:43,880 is I want them to recognize their image, bearing love, 715 00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:46,440 Jesus, share others, share that with others. 716 00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:50,400 Like that's really the summary of what it means to be devoted 717 00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:54,440 to God. And so, yeah, I guess I don't 718 00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:58,320 know what the question is other than how is that growing? 719 00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:03,600 Is it growing through work, through marriage, through 720 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:07,440 parenting, through service? Like, do you see all these 721 00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:10,639 worlds kind of coming together and your devotion is growing? 722 00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:13,880 I think it's. I think in the context that I'm 723 00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:15,360 in. So when you think about the 724 00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:19,560 church context where I serve and then you think about Home group 725 00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:22,840 or home life and then work, they are all very different. 726 00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:27,719 Like they all have different demands of my talent, time, 727 00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:31,560 energy, and they all bring out my weaknesses and different ways 728 00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:34,320 too. And so just thinking about the 729 00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:38,440 balance of the balance of grace and obedience has never been 730 00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:41,080 hard for me. And I don't know if it's because 731 00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:45,560 I love obeying. I am a person who is happy to 732 00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:47,760 have authority over me. That just tells me what to do. 733 00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:51,480 Do you think it goes with like? The academic piece like here's 734 00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:55,440 the rubric, here's the answer like it is the correct answer 735 00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:58,560 and I'm clear, you know, is it? I think maybe. 736 00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:02,240 But I also, and when I had a really amazing dad and so he was 737 00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:05,880 very, he was authoritative in the right way where he would, 738 00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:09,400 he, he trained us to just obey. If he said a word, we would just 739 00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:11,320 go and do it. So like, I mean, I still 740 00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:14,360 remember I was like 23 years old and he said van and I got up out 741 00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:16,760 of my seat and started walking to the car before I realized 742 00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:19,640 what I was doing. So I think there's a part of 743 00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:24,480 that that I just, that's never bothered me to to, to feel like 744 00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:26,600 I have to obey because I love someone. 745 00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:29,120 That's never been a struggle for me. 746 00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:32,600 And I am lucky enough that I obviously love Jason's really 747 00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:35,720 easy to obey him. And like, I love our church and 748 00:35:35,720 --> 00:35:37,160 where we serve. And so it's easy for me to do 749 00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:38,520 that. I actually really enjoy my job. 750 00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:40,880 So that's a very easy thing for me to do in that too. 751 00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:44,720 So I think if I were conflicted and I didn't love that thing, it 752 00:35:44,720 --> 00:35:46,440 would become harder. But that's where I think grace 753 00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:48,880 and obedience actually makes sense in the light of the gospel 754 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:50,680 and with Jesus, because I love him. 755 00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:53,600 So why would I not obey him? Like, and I'm thankful for what 756 00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:55,920 he's done. So why would I not obey? 757 00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,800 Like I still remember Jason sat down our kids one time and 758 00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:00,440 they'd and had gotten in trouble for something. 759 00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:02,040 Oh, he might have been like, I don't remember. 760 00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:07,080 And he sat them down on time out bench and he said, why do we 761 00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:09,400 discipline you? And and she was like, oh, 762 00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:10,640 because I didn't listen. I didn't. 763 00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:11,960 And he said, what does obey mean? 764 00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:14,960 And we taught our kids like to listen and do what mom and daddy 765 00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:16,520 say the first time with a happy heart. 766 00:36:17,240 --> 00:36:19,640 And so he said, yes, OK, why do you obey? 767 00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:23,600 Like what's the reason why? And she said it's because I love 768 00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:26,000 you. And and Jason said, no, you obey 769 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:29,280 because we love you. Like you obey because we love 770 00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:31,800 you so much that you know that us asking you to do something is 771 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:33,720 because we have your best interests at heart. 772 00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:36,160 And we know we know that part of you. 773 00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:38,400 And I think that's where it becomes a lot easier. 774 00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:39,800 Like you can see it in parenting. 775 00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:42,840 Like, Hey, I need you to stop. And I say stop because there 776 00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,120 might be a car coming across the street and I am trying to save 777 00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:47,360 your life, right? Or sometimes I say no, just to 778 00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:49,800 be like, we listened just a moment. 779 00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:54,400 And so I think that has been it's, it's not as hard for me. 780 00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:58,360 I know we have plenty of people who struggle with the idea of, 781 00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:01,320 well, there's all this grace and grace of bounds. 782 00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:04,600 And so I don't need to obey. And, and I know that's not just 783 00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:05,920 in our church. I mean, just in general, that's 784 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:08,360 like a thing where people are like, I'll, I'll obey later. 785 00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,680 Like I'll let Grace cover this now and obey later. 786 00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:13,840 But that's never really been the way that obedience has really 787 00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:15,600 felt right to me. It's always felt like you should 788 00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:20,080 obey because you love him and he asks you to. 789 00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:24,720 And whatever he could ask of me is infinitely less than what 790 00:37:24,720 --> 00:37:28,720 he's already done for me. And so I have to be OK with that 791 00:37:28,720 --> 00:37:30,640 even in moments when I'm not. And that's why I memorize 792 00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:32,760 scripture, to try to get myself in line with what he's telling 793 00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:35,080 me to do when I'm not obedient to it. 794 00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:39,640 And all of that is. Born out of a accurate picture 795 00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:42,720 of who the Father is in his transcendence and his imminence 796 00:37:42,720 --> 00:37:44,720 and his bigness and his smallness. 797 00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:48,440 Because if it's just one or the other, I think that's where 798 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,720 you've got is transcendent. That we just obey because we're 799 00:37:51,720 --> 00:37:53,720 fearful. And that is part of it. 800 00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:58,400 Or if he is imminent, then he's with us and like there's grace 801 00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:01,080 for that. And so we're good, you know, But 802 00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:06,080 if you don't have both of those together, and I mean, this is 803 00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:10,040 one of my favorite things that Moe says is it's not that it's 804 00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:12,400 in untrue, it's just incomplete, you know. 805 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:17,600 And so I think what you're representing is this accurate 806 00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:20,720 perspective of how we relate to God, because you really, you 807 00:38:20,720 --> 00:38:24,440 understand who God is as much as you possibly can. 808 00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:27,200 And you're holding both of those things in a good tension, not 809 00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:29,880 trying to pick one over the other, but you're like, both of 810 00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:31,520 these things are true at the same time. 811 00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:32,680 And I know I have a lot more work. 812 00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:35,040 To do right. So like I, I say this all the 813 00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:37,440 time to the residents that I work with, but like, let's hope 814 00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:39,720 that today is not the best version of who we are. 815 00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,560 Like let's hope that every day we look back or every year we 816 00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:44,720 look back and we're like, goodness, I'm so glad that I am 817 00:38:44,720 --> 00:38:48,000 here now and I was not where I was a couple years ago. 818 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:49,720 And so I think that's encouraging. 819 00:38:49,720 --> 00:38:52,320 I think that's encouraging to just to think like, hey, today 820 00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:55,440 doesn't have to be I'm not supposed to be the best person I 821 00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:57,720 am today. Like that's coming down the 822 00:38:57,720 --> 00:39:00,880 road. As long as I continue to work 823 00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:02,720 and make those little good decisions every day. 824 00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:05,480 Because if you're having a bad. Day then that's really good news 825 00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:09,000 OK well that's not the best that we are if you're having a really 826 00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:12,280 good day then it's also like well this is also 9 the best 827 00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:15,360 that we want to be I can be humbled you know, in that as 828 00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:17,160 well yeah that's great you know helpful. 829 00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:18,600 This is great. I'm. 830 00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:20,520 Ready to go? I'm encouraged, yeah. 831 00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:23,400 That's great, Jackie. I do just love your mind. 832 00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:26,040 I love your thoughts and just the way that you do tell 833 00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:28,560 stories, you know, I mean, for our listeners, I'll probably 834 00:39:28,720 --> 00:39:30,200 listening to that story about New Zealand. 835 00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:31,800 You're like, where is this going? 836 00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:34,800 You know, but it does. You just have great mental 837 00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:37,880 pictures and it is cool. Like in your job, you just get 838 00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:40,320 to teach a lot. And so I just feel like I'm 839 00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:42,240 always learning things from you as well. 840 00:39:42,240 --> 00:39:45,920 But yeah, y'all let us know if you like this format. 841 00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:48,760 We'd love to continue doing this just with other members and 842 00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:51,120 leaders. But we are just grateful for 843 00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:54,840 those who are carrying weight in the life of our church and 844 00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:58,640 hopefully can just continue to share stories of how God is 845 00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:01,720 changing us, making us better, and just how we get to enjoy 846 00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:04,560 life in his presence. So Jackie, thanks for being with 847 00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:05,800 us today. Thank you so much. 848 00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:07,160 It's been a lot. Of fun in our conversations.