1 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:08,080 Really, everything we've covered in this self-made series, I 2 00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:12,360 think is back to Do I believe that the life God has asked us 3 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:15,160 to live is actually the best life a human can live? 4 00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:19,680 Or do I not? Welcome to a special edition of 5 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:22,920 the Members Podcast. Today we are answering questions 6 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:25,400 that have come out of our self-made series. 7 00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:28,960 Last weekend we finished A5 part series addressing the cultural 8 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:31,280 pressures to be self-made men and women. 9 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:35,960 Today we have Hayley Baranowski, Blake Payne and Scofield Foster 10 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:38,800 Co, creators of the sermon series, in for a follow up. 11 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,160 They're answering your questions ranging from the healthy role of 12 00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:46,200 emotions, the challenge of performance driven culture, sex, 13 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:50,160 singleness and practical ways to sing better songs. 14 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:54,000 If you missed any of the series teaching, you can find easy 15 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:57,920 access on the Grace Church app or on our website at Grace dot 16 00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:01,080 SC under resources. I hope you enjoy. 17 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:05,280 So our first question reads like this. 18 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:08,160 When it comes to our feelings and emotions, we tend to swing 19 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:11,600 on a pendulum from my feelings don't really matter and so I 20 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:13,280 should have void them completely. 21 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:17,000 Two, my feelings are the only thing that matter and everyone 22 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:20,920 else has to acknowledge them. So the question is, what is the 23 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:24,400 role of healthy emotion for us as believers? 24 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:28,800 I will kick us off. Yes, I do care a lot about this 25 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:32,360 topic just because even in preparing this last summer, I 26 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:35,840 raised the question just about as we mature in our faith, is 27 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:38,400 there the chance that not all of our feelings are bad all the 28 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:40,360 time? I think we have to start at the 29 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:43,040 perspective that we can't trust ourselves. 30 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,640 We got to acknowledge our hearts are deceitful, but as we walk 31 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:49,120 with the Lord longer, is there a chance our feelings shift And 32 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:51,920 you know, can we, can we trust anything we're feeling or 33 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:54,800 nothing at all? So I think as we talked about it 34 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:58,760 and I've had a year to kind of think on it a little bit more, I 35 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:02,080 think there definitely is a role for feelings ultimately, just 36 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:05,680 because God made them. So I don't think he would have 37 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:09,320 made something innately that was all the way bad all the time. 38 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:12,600 So I think we just have to be willing to evaluate them because 39 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:16,480 they can't be deceitful. So I think we see in God that he 40 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:20,600 communicates with emotion too. So we see him communicate with 41 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:25,000 anger and grief and joy and pride and, you know, the full 42 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,800 range of emotions throughout Scripture. 43 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,320 And that's not even taking into account the emotions that Jesus 44 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:32,600 felt when he was on the earth. So I think the ultimate question 45 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:35,280 is, are we willing to vet them when we feel them? 46 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,600 Do we know enough about the character and the instructions 47 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,520 of God to have a standard to compare them to? 48 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,680 And then are we willing to do so? 49 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:47,200 And then over time, are we noticing hopefully that our 50 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,880 emotions are starting to align with the way that God 51 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:52,840 demonstrates emotion? So are the things that make us 52 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,120 angry, the things that make God angry are the things that make 53 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:58,200 us sad, the things that make him sad and then, you know, extend 54 00:02:58,200 --> 00:02:59,960 that all the circumstances you can think of. 55 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:03,440 So, so if we're made in God's image and God has emotion, then 56 00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:07,400 we have to have emotion. And so the question is healthy 57 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,880 emotion and the self-awareness to discern that. 58 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,440 And if, as we are being conformed and transformed into 59 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:15,880 the image of Christ, those emotions should come into 60 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:17,920 alignment. Yeah, hopefully over time. 61 00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:20,440 But because it's such a powerful thing, it's easy to be deceived 62 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:21,160 by it. Is that true? 63 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:24,320 Yeah, absolutely. Well, if you think about it, I 64 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:26,560 mean, if you looked at the Bible and you look for all the ways 65 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:30,160 that you see God's emotions described, that'd be a fun kind 66 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:34,520 of study to see how many, how many are there even? 67 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:40,120 I mean, jealousy, anger, sadness, delight, leisure, love, 68 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:44,320 I mean, interesting. But I think again, like Haley 69 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:46,920 said, the goal is that our feelings are in alignment with 70 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:50,200 God 'cause God's feelings are always in alignment with reality 71 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:54,240 and ours due to the broken nature of our hearts, like we 72 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:56,240 see in Jeremiah 17, often aren't. 73 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:59,400 And but to your point, the like the sanctification process 74 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,720 should be one in which like there's this up and to the right 75 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:05,280 movement of our emotions lined up with gods. 76 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:09,920 But you know, like you were saying earlier, even that not 77 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:13,400 all the way until he comes back and he finishes this work with 78 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,920 us. So community, you know, the 79 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:17,839 Scriptures, all that's always going to have a role to play. 80 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:22,400 But alignment, what does our feelings do? 81 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,920 Our desires align with God's feelings and God's desires. 82 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:28,240 One more thought on that. I was thinking, because we've 83 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:31,160 been doing some work in the Old Testament downtown this summer, 84 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:34,160 just that what it seems as you look through different Old 85 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:37,200 Testament stories, especially in the era of the patriarchs, it 86 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,960 does seem that God actually really values emotional 87 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:43,280 engagement with his people. Because we've been looking at, 88 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:47,520 you know, Abraham and Jacob and David and just the fact that I 89 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,640 don't think God ever wanted us to be robots. 90 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:53,120 Like he wants a lifelong covenantal, committed 91 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:56,600 relationship with us. And when emotion is a part of 92 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,520 that, I think that actually brings joy to him because it's 93 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:03,640 not this sterile, you know, I'm checking boxes because you told 94 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:05,480 me to. It's that my heart is engaged in 95 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:09,120 my relationship with you, too. And so I don't think God ever 96 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,520 desires for our emotions to go away. 97 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:14,320 I think they just have to be redirected over time. 98 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:16,720 But actually think he loves that we have them and he wants us to 99 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:20,120 engage with him in them, whether it's, you know, emotion actually 100 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,560 about our faith or about whatever we have going on. 101 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,320 Yeah. And there was another thought 102 00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:25,640 around ambition. How? 103 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:29,000 How is that? And the emotion of wanting to 104 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:32,960 achieve or be recognized or or be productive, How, how does 105 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:34,240 that play into this conversation? 106 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,440 I think very similarly, and this one is near to my heart too, 107 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:40,120 because I do think that can actually be a pretty strong 108 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,400 driving factor. I think there are emotions 109 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:46,200 attached with that, whether it's identity and purpose and value. 110 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:50,040 I think we when you are driven by ambition, you associate a lot 111 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,720 of feelings with that. But I think the solution or the 112 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:56,080 approach is actually pretty similar because I don't think 113 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,600 God looks down upon ambition per SE. 114 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,440 I think if we look even in the way that he interacted with his 115 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:05,280 people over time, he didn't necessarily look down upon or 116 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:08,320 discourage success. I mean, even in a worldly sense 117 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:12,040 at times, like we see it in the life of Joseph and of David too, 118 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:15,560 that over different portions of their lives, it says that God 119 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:17,520 was with them and everything they did prospered. 120 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:21,960 So I think if they had not brought at least something of 121 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,920 their personality to those efforts, that something could 122 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:28,320 have been lost there. But I do think you also see in 123 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:31,840 plenty of other examples that when ambition is removed from 124 00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:35,440 God and it's something that you're exercising or going after 125 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,400 apart from God, that it's purely selfish. 126 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:39,320 So really, I don't, I don't think it's actually all that 127 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,320 different from emotions. I think it's just a willingness 128 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:44,000 to vet them. And then when it comes to a 129 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,720 conflict between me and God in terms of what I'm going after, 130 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:49,280 what I'm feeling, how I'm wanting to respond to a feeling, 131 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:53,240 what I'm trying to pursue, who is it that I'm going to respond 132 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:54,160 to? Is it me or is it God? 133 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:56,520 Yeah. And I do think there's a gap in 134 00:06:56,520 --> 00:07:00,720 the way we think about work and we're actually working, working 135 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,640 on a podcast where we try to bring some some better faith 136 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,560 integration in the way that we talk about work. 137 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:07,760 So you can just be on the lookout for that. 138 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:10,880 If we zoom out for a second, Blake, and just think about big 139 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:15,600 picture, these self-made ideas, which one do you think has made 140 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:19,600 it most or is most prevalent into the belief of the members 141 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:23,160 of Grace Church? Well, just even going off of 142 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:26,560 what Haley and Scofield said, one thing I'm encouraged by if I 143 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,520 can start there. Please, is that OK? 144 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:29,360 Yes. OK. 145 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:34,800 One thing I'm encouraged by is I think even as we are opening the 146 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:38,520 floodgate, so to speak, on some complicated issues, as we've 147 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:41,520 talked through this, it feels like one of the overwhelming 148 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:47,160 reactions is just humility around what ways might these 149 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:51,360 lies be in me. And so that's super encouraging 150 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:53,680 as I talk to people and hear about conversations. 151 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:59,840 Like I had a guy come up to me after one of these, one of 152 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:02,840 Schofield sermons, and which I don't know why he came up after 153 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:06,320 Schofield sermons, but he just came up to me and was just being 154 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:11,000 honest about some things that he was learning and how he had seen 155 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,760 some of the pressure of the world get inside of him. 156 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,440 He was just responding to the topics. 157 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:20,080 So I've been super encouraged by a willing, a church that's 158 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:24,600 willing to not separate from, but be honest about. 159 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,240 And so I, I think that's been super encouraging. 160 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,880 Because it is easy for for church to go US versus them. 161 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,840 Yeah, inside the culture. Outside the culture, yeah, it's 162 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:34,799 easy. For us to do US versus them 163 00:08:34,799 --> 00:08:37,760 inside the church. 100%, yeah. You know, Yeah, that's great. 164 00:08:37,799 --> 00:08:39,600 Jesus talked about that I think somewhere. 165 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:45,960 And so, but to answer the question, I would say I do think 166 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:50,440 that as I've been just listening, it feels like couple 167 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:52,520 weeks ago on Schofield walk through just main character 168 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:55,600 syndrome. Just the idea that the most 169 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:59,280 important part about me is me, you know, just individualism 170 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:03,520 really at its finest. I think that really is pervasive 171 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:05,600 and I don't think it's always malicious. 172 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:09,760 I don't even know if it's always conscious, but I do think deep 173 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:13,480 in our subconscious, we live in a culture that tells you to 174 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:17,320 prioritize yourself above all. And I feel that when people are 175 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:20,120 coming into our church, how they're thinking about community 176 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:23,520 and serving. And I feel that in me when I 177 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,200 think about community and serving. 178 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:26,800 You know, it's just, I think it's pervasive. 179 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:30,240 I think it's deep within us and I think it has some real 180 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:34,000 liabilities when we are operating as a bunch of 181 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:38,960 individuals because Jesus didn't die for us to be individuals 182 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:40,680 that come to the same building, right? 183 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:45,520 He came he died for us to be a family, a place where we are not 184 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:48,200 the most important thing, but we're meaningful as good as I 185 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:51,560 talked about in that talk, but that we're connected to the most 186 00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:53,040 important thing. And it's interesting. 187 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,480 We wrapped with anxiety. And as I was writing some of 188 00:09:56,480 --> 00:10:00,160 that that talk, I've, I found some some research around 189 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:03,240 anxiety and this guy was actually kind of zooming out and 190 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:07,280 looking at the trends of international anxiety, not just 191 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:08,720 in the States, but internationally. 192 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:12,000 And there was really two categories that stuck out in the 193 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:17,480 last few years that experienced little to no increase in anxiety 194 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:21,000 and depression. And one of those categories was 195 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,480 religious countries. So actually Eastern Europe. 196 00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:28,400 Yeah, Eastern Europe was one of out of all the categories of 197 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:32,200 Europe, Eastern Europe with Orthodox religion experienced 198 00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:36,400 less increase in anxiety and depression and some of that is 199 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:42,480 connected to the second group which was Japan and Korea, which 200 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:45,280 is interesting. Japan and Korea was not because 201 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:50,600 of religion, but in Japan and Korea, like your last name is 202 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:51,800 more important than your first name. 203 00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:57,280 And so I think what you find in both of those is just the idea 204 00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:00,040 that I am not the most important thing, but I'm actually 205 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:04,680 connected to something better. Even my last name, even having a 206 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:08,120 a healthy pride and a healthy identity and something that's 207 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:12,920 not Blake but it's a family. It does seem to be that that 208 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:16,320 produces a lot of freedom. And I think that is what Jesus 209 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:18,880 has in view for us when he dies for the church. 210 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:23,040 So I just think that if we as a church can just think about that 211 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:27,920 and find ways to fight individualism, I think we will 212 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,680 be more free. I think we'll be more healthy, 213 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:34,480 and I think we will be less self-made. 214 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:37,600 Yeah, yeah. No, thanks for sharing and I 215 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:40,680 appreciate the encouragement. We'll we'll call you Barnabas. 216 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:45,640 Sure from now on, I'll take it. And, you know, I, I, I think 217 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:49,240 about that faith being a team sport. 218 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:51,920 You know, some people identify as the family, some people 219 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,360 identify as the team sport. But I think you're right. 220 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:56,560 Baked in is this idea of individuality. 221 00:11:56,560 --> 00:12:00,360 So I even think of myself as a Christian when really that term 222 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:03,720 was used to describe a group of people that were living a 223 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:06,520 certain way. And we've reversed that. 224 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:09,040 You know, we read the New Testament letters individually 225 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:10,920 instead of reading them as a church. 226 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:12,400 And so you're, you're 100% right. 227 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:15,160 It is, it is baked in. Schofield, can I ask you a 228 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:16,360 question? Going all the way back, I 229 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:20,080 believe the week 1 you were quoting from the Library of 230 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:22,120 Congress. The true Shekinah is man. 231 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:25,720 Then you describe that using Second Chronicles 7 talks about 232 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:29,760 the glorious presence of God. As believers though, we do bear 233 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:32,280 the glorious presence of God within us through the Holy 234 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:36,000 Spirit. And so the question is how do we 235 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:39,120 receive the honor and glory that God has given us as image 236 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:44,280 bearers and Co heirs with Christ but still stay inside the box 237 00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:46,640 that God has given us? What are your thoughts on that? 238 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:51,400 Yeah, I think it's a good point because it is worth noting. 239 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,600 I mean, you get into chapter one of the Bible and you see that 240 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:58,000 God creates the world, and then this pinnacle of his creation 241 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,880 project is something that he makes in his own image unlike 242 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,600 anything else he makes, and that is man. 243 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:07,280 So you could say the true Shekinah's man, or the true most 244 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:10,880 visible manifestation of God's glorious presence on earth is, 245 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,640 well, man. And that's true. 246 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:17,720 And I do think that's important to teach on and have a robust 247 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:22,240 vision on around as we, you know, teach and disciple as a 248 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:26,440 church, as we parent our children that we have a purpose, 249 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:31,960 we have dignity, we have value and that is significant. 250 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:36,320 Like we have significance. And so there's a lot needed 251 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:38,240 there. There's a lot needed to just 252 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:40,960 color in the lines for us on what that means and how that 253 00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:43,400 changes things. And I've, I've been doing some 254 00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:47,600 listening and reading lately about the next generation of 255 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:54,000 boys particularly, and how like they don't understand their why 256 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:58,400 they exist as our part of our like society has been become so 257 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:02,360 individualistic and fragmented and digital, we've been 258 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:05,720 disconnected. And of course, you know, there's 259 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,160 a whole conversation there around specifically the 260 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:10,280 masculine experience and how we're trying to get rid of toxic 261 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,720 masculinity feels like we kind of wiped away masculinity all 262 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,400 together. So then the boys are kind of 263 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:19,480 like, so just don't be that. What am I supposed to be? 264 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:21,720 And so then you should be able to insert in, well, you're an 265 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:25,080 image bearer. You were created to be a, you 266 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:27,920 know, a little mini king or queen to represent God's will 267 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:29,920 and exercise dominion over the earth, to rule, to reign. 268 00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:33,440 So I do want to say that I think the reason we're talking about 269 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:37,320 that quote in this context is there's another side to that 270 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:40,880 perspective that says not just that I have significance, but I 271 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:45,600 create my own significance. And there's no outside source 272 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,240 that provides that for me. It's something that I've 273 00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:49,720 determined, and I'm in competition with everybody else 274 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:53,120 around me to, you know, to reach as much and create as much of 275 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:57,600 that as I can. And speaking as a person who has 276 00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:00,880 dealt with those demons, it's bad. 277 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,320 Yeah, it's a lot of pressure. Yeah. 278 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,960 It's just when you think about yourself as the center of the 279 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:10,760 universe again, at first it it feels like it scratches an itch 280 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:14,240 until you live that out and you realize how that's actually 281 00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:16,600 terrible. I'd rather have something better 282 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:18,360 and be a part of something bigger. 283 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:21,520 It's funny, even in culture, we were talking about this the 284 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,120 other day. I think podcast culture maybe I 285 00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:26,960 was talking about this with you, Scott, just that one of the one 286 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,520 of the, it seems like one of the goals of podcast is insight. 287 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:31,840 Was that you? OK. 288 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:34,760 But that's very different than wisdom. 100. 289 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:36,560 Percent taking those thoughts and ideas and applying. 290 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,440 It's funny, if you just look at the culture, I mean, how many 291 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,840 famous people were just dropping like flies? 292 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:43,680 Like everything. Everybody kind of knows we can't 293 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:48,400 really bear the weight, but are we really taking that principle 294 00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:50,400 and letting it change us? You know, I think that's a 295 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,760 question I have as you're walking through some of that. 296 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:55,760 Yeah, and you did a good job in in your last sermon just talking 297 00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:58,920 about the logical conclusion of all that weight and all that 298 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:01,920 pressure is a ton of anxiety and just loneliness. 299 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,760 Scofield staying with you, when you talked about main character 300 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:09,440 syndrome, you brought up the idea of the the John the 301 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:13,360 Baptists in John chapter 3, which is just a great story. 302 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:17,920 But here's the question. How can the church celebrate the 303 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:22,600 John the Baptists so that we don't fall victim that thinking 304 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:26,000 that we all need to be main characters and and reinforce 305 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:32,080 that stereotype in the church. Yeah, is it First Corinthians? 306 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:36,160 Help me out, guys, 1213 talking about spiritual gifts and not 307 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,160 despising those that don't get as much public honor. 308 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:42,240 Yeah, that's right. OK, so that I think is a good 309 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:44,880 starting point to say, hey, God's giving out gifts. 310 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:48,160 They represent his power, his glory, his agenda, his 311 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:52,640 priorities. And they look different and but 312 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:56,280 they're all reflection of him. But, you know, and so I remember 313 00:16:56,280 --> 00:17:00,360 hearing some older leaders in our our church talk about a guy 314 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:04,359 that was serving with some of our facilities work. 315 00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:09,040 And you know, it's not the most public, you know, attention 316 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:13,079 getting work that he was doing. But they knew, they know him 317 00:17:13,079 --> 00:17:14,960 well enough and knew him well enough, knew kind of his 318 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:18,359 character and just how he spent time in prayer and what he was 319 00:17:18,359 --> 00:17:20,319 doing as he walked around and did what the world would call 320 00:17:20,319 --> 00:17:26,319 like mundane, ordinary things. And they could see something in 321 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:31,440 him that was very otherworldly, a level of contentment, A level 322 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:36,360 of others focus, A level of goodness with his box. 323 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:40,200 And like with spiritual eyes, they could see the power 324 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,840 emanating from that. And so they would joke in a 325 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:46,160 loving way and talk about how when we get to heaven, well, 326 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:49,120 he's going to be like the king of the country that we're living 327 00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:50,880 in. We'll go say, hey, can we come 328 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,800 visit your castle? Because the honor that you're 329 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:56,760 going to get out of your quiet service of faithfulness and the 330 00:17:56,760 --> 00:18:00,160 power of prayer in the ministry far outweighs this may be more 331 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:03,800 public, traditional view of what, you know, meaningful 332 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,680 giftedness and work and influence can look like. 333 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:10,240 And so that captures my imagination to say, if we could 334 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:13,040 have spiritual glasses on and see how God sees, see how the 335 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:17,560 spiritual realm sees, how would that change the nature of power 336 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:21,000 and meaning and things that God sees that our world doesn't even 337 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,720 value? And then how do we celebrate 338 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:27,680 that, You know, how do we point out distinctive giftedness, 339 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:31,800 personalities, attributes that God's given in someone? 340 00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:35,760 And first of all, it helps us practice self forgetfulness #1 341 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:37,760 #2 it helps us be a part of something bigger than just 342 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:41,800 ourselves. And it just starts to kill, I 343 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:45,160 think, some of that main character syndrome that erodes 344 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:48,320 our ability to be a part of something bigger and love and be 345 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:50,840 thankful, you know? And I mean, and I think the 346 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:53,600 truth is we, we, we could probably do a better job of 347 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:57,640 telling those kinds of stories, celebrating those folks, even 348 00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:59,120 though those are the least people that want to be 349 00:18:59,120 --> 00:19:03,200 celebrated, but just holding them up as, as examples so that 350 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:07,640 we see the full body, if you will, You know, that we see the 351 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,800 hands and the feet and the head and the shoulders and all that, 352 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,280 you know, because it does take, it does take everyone. 353 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:19,080 And, and I think that there's so much emphasis on leading, which 354 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,680 is important because we have a large church and we need people 355 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:25,720 who are gifted to, to help keep people moving towards this goal 356 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:28,920 of Christ likeness that sometimes slowing down and 357 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,480 celebrating is not the easiest thing to do. 358 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,760 Yeah. Thinking about how some of these 359 00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:38,440 self-made ideas can be disguised in different forms. 360 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:42,080 And we've said all along that the church is not immune to to, 361 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:45,480 to any of these ideas. So thinking about performance 362 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:48,480 and a performance mentality, which is like you said earlier, 363 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:51,640 Blake, is just, there's certain things that are deeply ingrained 364 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:54,400 in us as a culture. But Haley, what does it look 365 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:57,920 like when the performance mentality creeps in and shows up 366 00:19:57,920 --> 00:20:00,600 in the church and in the way that we think about ministry? 367 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,400 Yeah, I don't think, unfortunately, the church is all 368 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,560 that different than the culture sometimes. 369 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:09,800 And I'm saying that as a, you know, a personal conviction, not 370 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,240 a condemnation by any means. I think we're human beings and 371 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:14,440 when we struggle with stuff, we're going to bring it into 372 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:16,840 whatever settings we're in, even if we're hopefully in the 373 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,400 process of being redeemed out of it. 374 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:26,480 I think anytime you are in a role that has way and is a need 375 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:30,120 fills a need, especially if it's something that you're gifted in. 376 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:33,000 And then especially on top of that, if it, if that's being 377 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,240 validated and you're being affirmed for that being a gift 378 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:39,480 of yours, I think it's nearly impossible to separate the 379 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:41,480 performance mentality from it all the way. 380 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:45,200 And maybe that's just my sickness, but I think I share it 381 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,440 with some people. It's, it's difficult, I think, 382 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,760 because then you start, especially when you've got some 383 00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,440 good intentions too. You start wanting to make sure 384 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,320 that in whatever role that you're serving the church, that 385 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:58,040 you're doing a good job because it matters. 386 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:02,400 And you want to honor the work that God has done in I'll save 387 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:06,040 my own life. I want to translate that to 388 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:07,880 other people in a way that is helpful. 389 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:12,240 And I want them to feel impacted by, you know, the stories that 390 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:15,640 God has told for years. And so it's easy to want that so 391 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:20,040 badly in such a good way that it slowly crosses over into I'm not 392 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:24,080 OK if I don't do a good job. So I mean, I'll just answer 393 00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:26,520 transparently for, for how this has looked for me. 394 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:29,800 My role serving has changed a lot over the past couple of 395 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:31,520 years. And that has put me on a stage a 396 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,760 lot more than I ever have been in my life to this point. 397 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:38,960 And so I have had to ask myself, Hopefully I'll, I'll continue to 398 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:42,440 ask it more frequently. But to just be honest with 399 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:46,360 myself and be willing to evaluate if this serving role, 400 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:50,480 whatever you want to call it, if it went away forever, if I was 401 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:54,720 never asked to teach again or if I didn't have a role in the 402 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:59,840 church quote UN quote anymore #1 how would I feel about that? 403 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:04,200 And #2 what would that do to like my one-on-one relationship 404 00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:05,800 with the Lord? What would that do to my prayer 405 00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:07,680 life? How would I feel about him? 406 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,800 Would I feel that he values me the same? 407 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:15,040 Would I with the nature of my connection to God change at all? 408 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:20,160 Because if I ask myself those questions and my serving role 409 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,640 goes away, and my honest answer is that I'm not the same with 410 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:27,440 the Lord as you know, as I feel like I am right now. 411 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:29,280 I think that can raise a red. Flag. 412 00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:30,880 Then you would know the answer to that question. 413 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,920 Yes, because then I think you've started to kind of 414 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:37,480 inappropriately merge how I'm serving, how I'm showing up at 415 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:41,280 church, who knows what I'm doing there, who you know, how many 416 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:45,360 people am I ministering to that starts to get into my 417 00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:48,240 relationship with God and and that's that's the commitment 418 00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:50,560 that I have made. That is the relationship that is 419 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:54,480 my number one priority. And so nothing theoretically 420 00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:57,720 should change that, whether I have a serving role, whether I'm 421 00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:01,000 exercising my gifts in a public or private way, or whether I'm 422 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,120 not, or if I'm in a situation where, you know, the need hasn't 423 00:23:04,120 --> 00:23:05,720 presented itself for my gifts right now. 424 00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:09,120 And, and I'm just living my life with my fellow believers and 425 00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:11,560 with the Lord. So that's how I'm dealing with 426 00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,040 it right now. Yeah, I think that's good 427 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:15,240 insight, to borrow a phrase from Blake. 428 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:17,080 What do you think about that, Blake? 429 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:20,400 Yeah, I think that's good. I mean, I don't have anything to 430 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,160 add to what she sang. A a couple funny things is I was 431 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:25,440 thinking about when she was talking, you know, I come from 432 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:30,520 the worship leader world. And so, you know, growing up in 433 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:33,240 church, they would have this thing called the special. 434 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:34,720 Y'all familiar? Oh yeah, you. 435 00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:36,680 Familiar with the special Scofield? 436 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:38,240 I think so. The special music so. 437 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:39,560 Special music? You think so. 438 00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:41,080 You don't know. You like, you would just know, 439 00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:45,280 you know, which is the moment in the service where you know, 440 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:50,280 Hilda gets that solo and she's been working on it for a long 441 00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:53,920 time. And, and what's funny is when I 442 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,320 used to do worst auditions like you, just, it's one of the 443 00:23:56,320 --> 00:24:00,360 things you have to pay attention for is like, why are you wanting 444 00:24:00,360 --> 00:24:01,480 to sing? Because when you sing, like 445 00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:03,840 you're very visible. And if you're talented, like 446 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:08,960 it's just Haley's point, it's real easy to to mix all that up. 447 00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:13,560 And and so I think really even just being a worship leader, I 448 00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:17,680 learned how easy it is to get my identity wrapped up in my 449 00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:21,000 performance and to find life from it. 450 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:24,680 And really, I can't lead people when I'm finding life from it. 451 00:24:25,360 --> 00:24:27,840 And I just, I agree with Haley too, that, I mean, it happens 452 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,760 for me too. I think one of the things I've 453 00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:33,560 seen is to just be honest about it. 454 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,160 I think that's one of the helpful things just to be honest 455 00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:41,600 about when you're motives are getting sideways. 456 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,000 I think you got to pay attention to it. 457 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:45,640 And I think that's really helpful. 458 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:49,400 And if I can give a shout out, I'm really grateful for the 459 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:53,800 leadership above me here just because you know, being in a, 460 00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:58,120 you know, somewhat upfront role, I think that can easily be a 461 00:24:58,120 --> 00:25:04,800 place where you get twisted. And for years now I've been 462 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:08,040 grateful because there's obviously standards. 463 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:09,600 We care about the Bible like you have to. 464 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:13,240 We're, we're, we're trying. We're not not trying, we're 465 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:16,080 trying. But I've never felt this 466 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:20,440 unnecessary pressure to be something that I'm not. 467 00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:25,520 But more so just a healthy pressure to be who I am and to, 468 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:29,560 you know, pray, ask God what God is leading me to say and think 469 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:32,040 about. And I'll never forget the first 470 00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:33,800 time I taught. I was just like, this was years 471 00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:35,440 ago. I mean, my stomach obviously was 472 00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:39,400 just in knots. And I go to Matt and he's 473 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:42,000 outside of the student center. And I'm like, I'm just, I'm 474 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,120 looking for this nugget. Like, I'm waiting for this 475 00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:48,920 moment for him just to tell me to kind of validate my worry, 476 00:25:49,360 --> 00:25:52,680 you know, and tell me how important this is and give me 477 00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:56,400 this deep prayer. And he looked at me and he was 478 00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:57,840 like, yeah, man, go give your best shot. 479 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:02,440 I'll clean it up next week. And he walked away and I just, I 480 00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:05,560 remember being a little stunned. I was like, does he not care 481 00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:07,120 more? Like I could mess this whole 482 00:26:07,120 --> 00:26:10,560 thing up. And it just was one of the first 483 00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:13,320 moments of many that just was a little bit of a pressure relief 484 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:15,640 to say, hey, you're actually not that important. 485 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:16,760 Yeah, don't take yourself too seriously. 486 00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:18,000 You're not that important anyway. 487 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:21,800 And seriously, if you mess up with, you know, we I'll fix it 488 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:22,600 next week. It's fine. 489 00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:27,480 And so that moment has is rung is rung loud in my head for for 490 00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:29,320 years. So I'm thankful for that because 491 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:32,840 naturally, like Haley was saying, I do want to perform. 492 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:36,120 I do like being liked. And so I think just dying to all 493 00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:39,480 that and reminding yourself that this isn't about you anyway. 494 00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:42,000 Yeah. And you both mentioned we, I use 495 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,920 the word perform. You both mentioned giftings, 496 00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:46,120 whether it be teaching or singing. 497 00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:48,240 That seems to be a little more public. 498 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:50,320 That could be easily lumped into performance. 499 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:52,480 A lot of people are listening. They're like, I don't have those 500 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:54,160 gifts, so I don't have to worry about that. 501 00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:55,680 Let me just give you another word. 502 00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:59,280 And that word might be production, that we want to get 503 00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:01,160 stuff done. We want to produce. 504 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:06,760 We want to serve and lead and accomplish and meet goals. 505 00:27:07,120 --> 00:27:09,160 And like, none of that is inherently bad. 506 00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,440 But we cannot confuse production for fruitfulness. 507 00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:16,840 And the difference goes back to what you were saying, Haley, is 508 00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:20,160 what's the source? Abide in me and you will bear 509 00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:24,080 much fruit If my relationship with God is what fuels 510 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:26,840 fruitfulness and that's really what's lasting. 511 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:31,560 And so and I think it's worth bringing in just another 512 00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:36,480 emotion, which is just joy. Like do I experience joy? 513 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,560 Do I experience here would be a question for everybody to ask 514 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:44,080 two questions. Do I experience more joy doing 515 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:49,160 ministry or in my relationship with God, my personal devotion? 516 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:53,160 And not to confuse those. And again, like you talked about 517 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:56,400 being self aware and honest, and I think that's a really, really 518 00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:58,920 adept skill here. And we probably need some people 519 00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:01,120 to to help us. And then the other question just 520 00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:06,800 more generally is do I enjoy God and how do I express that 521 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:09,160 enjoyment of him? And if you can answer those 522 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:11,360 questions affirmatively, just like you said, Haley, then 523 00:28:11,360 --> 00:28:13,360 you're in a good spot. But if you're a little confused 524 00:28:13,360 --> 00:28:15,240 by that, then you might just need to slow down. 525 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,560 You might just need to slow down and really tap into your 526 00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:22,400 relationship with God through the spirit and just say, now 527 00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:24,640 what's my motive? What's my motive? 528 00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:28,120 And and make sure that we don't bring the the self-made 529 00:28:28,120 --> 00:28:32,240 mentality too much into our spirituality because it's easy 530 00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:35,080 to do. I think even it's a good point 531 00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:37,760 about upfront things, I think even just people that are off 532 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:42,360 the stage, I do think it can also be, I think one way you 533 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:45,080 know, you're struggling with this is if you are trying to 534 00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:48,720 work something off. So like, if you're serving 535 00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:53,200 because home's not going well but performing, showing up, 536 00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,040 knocking some things out at church makes you feel better 537 00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:59,920 about your inability to be loving and kind at home. 538 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:03,760 So you're making a trade? You're making a trade. 539 00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:07,120 Yeah, I think there's an. I think that's another way that 540 00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:11,960 performance culture shows up, is we're finding security from our 541 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:15,080 ability to perform as a volunteer, as a leader. 542 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:17,520 You know, it doesn't have to be as a teacher or singer, right? 543 00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:19,920 I think it happens all over. Yeah, we're trying to prove 544 00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:23,440 something, maybe not earn something, but definitely seek 545 00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:28,520 something. And so we're missing at the core 546 00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:31,000 the relationship with God and the way God views us through 547 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:32,960 Christ, Right? Yeah, those are good words, 548 00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:36,360 guys. I think we should pivot to our 549 00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:39,160 second to the last teaching, which was around sex and 550 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:41,480 happiness. And we kind of previewed this 551 00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:44,120 from week one when we talked about desires. 552 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:49,520 And we said that chief amongst all desires was this notion of 553 00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:51,520 sex and happiness. And that's a big topic, 554 00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:54,200 Scofield, and, and you did a great job tackling it. 555 00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:56,600 But I know that there are several things that you probably 556 00:29:56,600 --> 00:30:00,720 wish you could have given more attention to or maybe clarified 557 00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:02,800 a little bit. So this is this is a good forum 558 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:04,680 for that. So what are some thoughts just 559 00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,360 coming off of that teaching? Yeah. 560 00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:10,680 I mean, I think just to zoom out before we zoom in, I mean, it's 561 00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,400 just, it's what we're trying to say is that, you know, sex is 562 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:17,120 God, God's idea. It's his gift that he gave for a 563 00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,400 purpose. And so, you know, it's not, it's 564 00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:22,760 not insignificant. It's actually really important 565 00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:26,880 like to our spiritual formation, how we react and relate to sex, 566 00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:31,160 sexual energy or sexuality. And so that's where the culture 567 00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:33,480 is halfway right is it is a big one, right? 568 00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:37,240 And it's significant. And so, but I think the two 569 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:40,600 things that we tried to take away was how you deal with your 570 00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:43,800 sexual desires is one of the most important ways that you, 571 00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:48,560 your faith is revealed. Frankly, who you believe has the 572 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:51,960 good life, where it comes from, where satisfaction comes from, 573 00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:56,680 where fulfillment comes from, and then #2 impacts how we view 574 00:30:56,680 --> 00:31:02,640 and how we practice love and how we view other people and the 575 00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:06,800 purpose of life. And so with that in mind, I 576 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:09,800 think one of the things that we talked about is how important it 577 00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:13,400 is to be known, like for our sexual formation story, our 578 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:16,640 past, our present, our struggles, our temptations, 579 00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,040 where our desires are conflicting with gods. 580 00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:22,120 And I think that's true. And I think we need to keep 581 00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:23,720 saying that, that we need to be known. 582 00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:25,800 We need to do what the Bible says, which is live in the 583 00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:29,160 light, and that's literally, you know, a way to combat 584 00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:32,880 temptation, lies that are so clever, you know, all that. 585 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:36,240 And so that is true. I think the thing I would wish I 586 00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:41,360 had probably said as well is at the same time, no one can obey 587 00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:44,520 God for me. So while I need to be known, 588 00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:48,080 there's a next step there, which is I got to go figure out if I 589 00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:51,080 say I believe that God is good, how is my life going to begin to 590 00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:53,720 look more the way that he wants it to? 591 00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:57,040 What action steps am I going to take to fight temptation? 592 00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,440 Flee temptation? A phrase that I used to use with 593 00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:01,280 students all the time is to fight the battle before the 594 00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:05,000 battle, to be strategic and think about sin is empty. 595 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:07,360 So therefore I'm going to begin to move in a new route. 596 00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:09,240 And I was reading a book recently that talked about 597 00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:13,280 disruptive action. And this author said that more 598 00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:16,640 change is possible than you would think, but it requires 599 00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:18,880 more disruptive action than you would think. 600 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:21,760 And so let me just say, like for anyone listening to this that's 601 00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:23,760 going, I want freedom. I want progress. 602 00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:26,520 Like the Holy Spirit is available to us and power and 603 00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:31,280 change is possible. And we have to be willing to do 604 00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:34,160 more than we might think. Like we got to put the work in, 605 00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:38,080 in hidden moments where nobody's watching and no accountability 606 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:41,080 partner can or no church can do anything. 607 00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:45,160 You know, for me that God's called me to do because of my 608 00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:46,440 faith and my relationship with him. 609 00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:50,240 And so stacking up repetitions of faith and obedience over and 610 00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:53,720 over and over again, I think is what unlocks new kinds of 611 00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:57,960 momentum towards sexual freedom and transformation. 612 00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:00,840 And spiritual maturity, I think about second Peter, one says by 613 00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:03,280 God's divine power, he's given you everything you need for 614 00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:06,720 living a godly life, everything you need. 615 00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:09,520 But he doesn't say he does it for you right now. 616 00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:12,280 And so God doesn't call you just to something without giving you 617 00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:15,560 the power and the ability to do. It'd be really cruel if that's 618 00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:17,000 what he did and that's not who he is. 619 00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:23,560 But he also gives you the option to avail yourself of that power 620 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:25,240 or not, right? So I think that's a really good 621 00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:26,880 distinction. And if I can just say, I think 622 00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:29,680 some of this is generational, like I don't, I don't want to 623 00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:32,160 speak for the generation that came before me, but it seems 624 00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:35,480 like our generation has said we need to talk about these things 625 00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:37,680 and why and our feelings and what's going on and what's 626 00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:40,120 driving some of this beneath the surface versus just behavior 627 00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:43,080 modification. Maybe the pendulum is swinging 628 00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:46,920 so far, though, that we're wanting to be known so much that 629 00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:50,680 we're not ambitious around what actually going and doing could 630 00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:52,120 look like and needs to look like. 631 00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:54,720 And we just it's gonna be a lonely process that's not all 632 00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:58,080 that comforting, but it really does like line up with a 633 00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:00,120 biblical definition of discipleship, repentance, 634 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:04,800 following Jesus is I gotta go to work on this, you know? 635 00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:07,600 Yeah, that's good, Scofield. And diving in a little bit on 636 00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:11,040 two specific things that can be a little tricky. 637 00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:17,080 Can you talk about both spousal consent and the danger of 638 00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:20,199 outsourcing our conscience to the spousal consent and then 639 00:34:20,199 --> 00:34:23,159 also revisit the topic of masturbation? 640 00:34:23,159 --> 00:34:24,800 Yeah. Those are easy ones. 641 00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:29,199 Let's revisit since that was not miserable to talk about round 642 00:34:29,199 --> 00:34:31,679 one. Why not No, we we had a a 643 00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:35,239 conversation with a couple pastors about this and that this 644 00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:38,040 is a big thing. This goes back to the definition 645 00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:43,960 of or the gift like with the Y for the gift that God gave us 646 00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:45,280 this gift. What did we say? 647 00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:48,960 If you listen to the series for the for the opportunity to love 648 00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:53,000 another and to be united with another so that this others 649 00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:56,040 oriented love, this service sacrifice to put someone before 650 00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:59,880 me and to bring joy and pleasure to them can overflow into 651 00:34:59,880 --> 00:35:04,080 fruitfulness in the world. And so masturbation, like it's a 652 00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:06,040 common question. Is it really wrong? 653 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:09,760 Is it something that I shouldn't, you know, and again, 654 00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:12,160 it's not that that's not something you can talk about, 655 00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:15,760 but it feels like, once again, what are we starting from? 656 00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:18,880 What are we thinking about? You know, is this something that 657 00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:20,920 I'm entitled this kind of pleasure? 658 00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:24,120 And again, it's not that all pleasures bad and our you know, 659 00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:26,920 our sexual desires are bad. It's just, I think once again, 660 00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:30,200 we're missing the point. This is not about us self 661 00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:33,560 satisfying, self gratifying. This is about something that God 662 00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:37,320 gave us to point us to other people and to how we can love 663 00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:40,040 them in the context that he gave this gift for. 664 00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:43,080 Within that same conversation, the ideas come out. 665 00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:46,560 Well, I mean, take masturbation for example, or looking at 666 00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:48,760 inappropriate content or other kinds of things that are outside 667 00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:50,160 the bounds. We've had folks at times say, 668 00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,000 well, it's OK. Like I talked to my wife about 669 00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:53,400 it. She's good. 670 00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:56,000 Or my husband and I have discussed this and so, and the 671 00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:59,720 point is, and so help us understand how that's relevant. 672 00:36:00,240 --> 00:36:03,640 How is it that your wife or your spouse is the one who you're 673 00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:07,760 outsourcing your conscience to? Isn't it like God that we're 674 00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:10,480 trying to obey here and that we answer to? 675 00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,640 And who's the one? So I just think we should call 676 00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:15,720 that out if, if we have temptation to say, well, as long 677 00:36:15,720 --> 00:36:17,640 as the people around me are pleased, then I'm good. 678 00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:21,800 And like, that's really, that's too low of a view. 679 00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:24,200 Like we're actually following Jesus and hopefully dragging 680 00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:25,760 people around us in that same direction. 681 00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:30,960 And so, but it's easy to start to rationalize, justify because, 682 00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:34,520 well, it's what I want. What did you just say? 683 00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:36,120 We're following Jesus. And what are we doing? 684 00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:38,720 Oh. I don't know what did I say? 685 00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:41,120 Dragging other people there with us. 686 00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:43,720 Oh, dragging other people. There, I've never heard that, 687 00:36:43,720 --> 00:36:45,320 but I really. Yeah, I like that. 688 00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:47,200 Yeah. Again, I, I think you get into 689 00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:49,480 this like it's one thing to talk about when you're in a small 690 00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:53,200 group, but when you're in your house with your people and you 691 00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:58,760 want what you want, right? It is very impressive how we can 692 00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:01,320 rationalize and even rally people to our desires. 693 00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:05,640 And instead, we should be rallying people to God and Jesus 694 00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:07,920 in the like conviction of the Holy Spirit in our life, 695 00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:10,600 regardless of what the crowds around us or the people beside 696 00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:13,960 me in my bedroom are saying. Yeah, that's a good word. 697 00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:15,960 That's a good word. Who has the ultimate authority? 698 00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:19,920 And we did want to take just a moment, I mean, recognizing that 699 00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:24,960 we have hundreds, hundreds of singles in our congregations. 700 00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:28,520 And so, Haley, I just wanted to ask if you would speak into this 701 00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:30,840 question. So the idea is, if God created 702 00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:34,640 us as sexual beings and gives us sexual desires which are good 703 00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:37,600 things, but then he doesn't provide the boundaries for that 704 00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:42,800 through marriage, then what does sexuality look like for a single 705 00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:47,320 if it's not repressed? It's a great question. 706 00:37:49,240 --> 00:37:52,480 Yes, as our single in the room, I will do my best to speak to 707 00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:54,720 this. There's a lot of people who are 708 00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:57,680 experts more than me, but I'll try to offer a couple of 709 00:37:57,680 --> 00:38:00,600 thoughts and I do before I say anything else, I do want to 710 00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:03,480 start with a little bit of a compassionate tone because I'm 711 00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:06,240 hoping that we're we land with this is actually really 712 00:38:06,240 --> 00:38:09,240 motivated and inspired. But I don't want that to come at 713 00:38:09,240 --> 00:38:13,720 a cost to recognizing the grief that can come with feeling a 714 00:38:13,720 --> 00:38:17,480 desire to connect and to, you know, be in a covenantal 715 00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:20,720 relationship on earth and to have a family and all of that. 716 00:38:20,720 --> 00:38:23,120 I mean, that's real grief and that's real loss, especially 717 00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:25,320 when that's something that you might have pictured for yourself 718 00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:29,000 that's not always promised. So I do recognize that that is 719 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:32,560 painful and I have felt that many times that this is not 720 00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:36,280 where I thought my life would be at 29, but it is. 721 00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:39,480 And so let me just acknowledge that before I say anything else, 722 00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:40,800 that there is a lot of pain there. 723 00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:44,520 And it is something that we've got to be willing to not just 724 00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:48,520 shove because it feels whatever you want to call it, silly, 725 00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:51,480 selfish, consuming, you name it. I think a lot of times we can 726 00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:56,200 push off kind of the death of a dream and and not want to feel 727 00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:57,280 it. So I do think we need to 728 00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:58,080 acknowledge it. Yeah. 729 00:38:58,080 --> 00:38:59,480 Thank you for saying that. Yes. 730 00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:05,720 But with all that said, I think this is a is a powerful concept, 731 00:39:05,720 --> 00:39:07,720 but it's not an isolated concept. 732 00:39:07,720 --> 00:39:12,400 I think sexual desire and the desire for marriage and for 733 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:14,600 hopefully a family that might come out of that. 734 00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:19,280 I think it is a desire and it's a strong desire, but there are a 735 00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:23,680 lot of other desires and most people, I would actually say all 736 00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:25,440 people don't get all their desires. 737 00:39:25,720 --> 00:39:28,480 So I actually think you can actually elevate this 738 00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:32,720 conversation above the actual concept of sex to the idea of 739 00:39:32,720 --> 00:39:36,720 desire dream or you know what, you picture expectations for 740 00:39:36,720 --> 00:39:40,080 your life in general and just begin to ask the question, OK, 741 00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:42,320 well, what is it? How do I respond when a desire 742 00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:47,920 is unmet or when I believe that not acting on a desire is the 743 00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:52,360 way that I follow God? So I think we can actually find 744 00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:55,880 empathy from more people than just single people. 745 00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:59,560 I think it can be easy to kind of sometimes create a little 746 00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:04,480 insulated bubble where you're spiraling thoughts around a 747 00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:07,400 single community sometimes. But I don't think that we are 748 00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:09,560 alone in what we're feeling. I think married people can 749 00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:12,760 understand the idea of a desire not being met and not being able 750 00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:14,720 to. Exercise every desire that 751 00:40:14,720 --> 00:40:17,080 crosses your mind. With that said, I do think there 752 00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:20,360 are some unique parts of singleness in this conversation 753 00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:22,800 because I mean, what we're saying is that I have a desire 754 00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:26,320 that God made me to have that he is asking me not to exercise 755 00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:30,720 with, with the without any guarantee that I'll ever get to. 756 00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:35,200 So I think really I, I don't have a ton of new thoughts other 757 00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:38,440 than what I've already said about other topics even earlier 758 00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:40,920 in this conversation. I think it really does come down 759 00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:46,720 to when God and I disagree on something where which choice am 760 00:40:46,720 --> 00:40:49,040 I going to make? Am I going to choose him or am I 761 00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:52,280 going to choose me? And why am I making that choice? 762 00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:56,840 Because all of this sexuality, singleness, and really 763 00:40:56,840 --> 00:41:01,200 everything we've covered in this self-made series I think come 764 00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:05,320 comes back to Do I believe that the life God has asked us to 765 00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:07,920 live is actually the best life a human can live? 766 00:41:08,240 --> 00:41:11,040 Or do I not? And that sounds maybe overly 767 00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:14,640 simplified, but for me, I guess with the luxury of getting to 768 00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:18,080 think about this material for a year, that's about how I boil it 769 00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:21,080 down at this point. Who do I believe has the ticket 770 00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:25,800 to the best life for a human? And am I willing to walk that 771 00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:31,120 way even if it costs me or if it's difficult or if it means 772 00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:34,280 repressing desires sometimes? Who? 773 00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:37,640 Whose life do I think is better? Is it the one that I've scripted 774 00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:41,960 for myself or the one that my creator told me is the way that 775 00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:44,120 he wants us to live in unity with him? 776 00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:48,280 So that's one one way that I kind of think about it again, 777 00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:49,960 not to negate the difficulty of it. 778 00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:54,000 That sounds almost like a trite statement, but it actually I 779 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:55,560 think does summarize a lot of self-made. 780 00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:59,440 The other thing that I've thought about from time to time, 781 00:41:59,960 --> 00:42:03,800 it's just the idea that marriage and, and by, you know, by proxy, 782 00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:08,080 we're lumping sex and its proper use into that is, as God told 783 00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:11,320 us, the symbol of how he relates to his people. 784 00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:14,400 That's the best example we have on earth of the relationship 785 00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:17,320 that he desires with us. And though I don't have the 786 00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:20,880 symbol and I'm not promised the symbol on this side of heaven, I 787 00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:24,080 do have the reality. And my relationship with God is 788 00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:26,440 actually the fullness of what marriage symbolizes. 789 00:42:26,720 --> 00:42:30,960 And that does not make me feel better most of the time, but 790 00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:34,720 every once in a while it does. And I hope that that percentage 791 00:42:34,720 --> 00:42:36,440 gets higher over the course of time. 792 00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:41,120 So I think just trying to remember that, that being known, 793 00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:47,600 being loved, companionship, sharing dreams together, making 794 00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:50,640 each other's gifts, you know, more celebrated. 795 00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:53,320 That's the relationship that I get to have with Jesus. 796 00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:57,240 If I can try to walk in more close fellowship with him over 797 00:42:57,240 --> 00:42:59,320 the course of time, it's a lot harder 'cause he's not 798 00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:01,160 physically here. I'm not trying to gloss over 799 00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:05,080 that, but the reality of what marriage symbolizes is available 800 00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:06,360 to me. I'm not. 801 00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:11,120 I might miss out maybe on some things on earth, but I'm not 802 00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:14,560 missing out on the eternal by the sake of being single. 803 00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:18,640 So again, that helps occasionally and hopefully more 804 00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:22,560 so overtime. Well, that is singing a better 805 00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:25,080 song. That's a trying. 806 00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:28,040 It's a beautiful effort to sing a better song. 807 00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:32,560 And I think that's where we really want people to, once 808 00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:36,600 they've understood the context, they get the ideas of self-made, 809 00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:41,240 they're able to recognize it. Pervasiveness in the culture, 810 00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:44,960 how we drag it into the church. We turn our attention constantly 811 00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:48,360 into singing a better song. So guys, as we just rap, when we 812 00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:51,720 think about what Haley just shared a better song and 813 00:43:51,720 --> 00:43:54,920 singleness when we think a better song in our life, 814 00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:59,360 workplace, home, what other what other ideas, big picture ideas 815 00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:02,920 do you guys have when we're thinking about this better song? 816 00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:07,120 One more thought and it's a little bit coming out of 817 00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:11,160 singleness, but not entirely. I think in thinking about this 818 00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:14,200 content and particularly singleness as the years have 819 00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:18,360 gone on, I think getting my head really around the fact that this 820 00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:22,040 part on Earth is the short part, that there's there's another 821 00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:23,920 part of my existence that's waiting for me. 822 00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:27,440 And this part on earth is the shortest part of that. 823 00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:28,760 And it's the hardest part of that. 824 00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:31,800 If I can really believe that and believe that the intentions of 825 00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:36,920 God for what unity and full eternal life with him is going 826 00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:41,600 to be, it actually is way better than here, then it gives me a 827 00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:45,880 lot of perseverance and grit that sometimes you just got to 828 00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:50,400 stick it out through a life that might have a lot of unmet 829 00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:53,520 desires and a lot of grief and a lot of tragedy and a lot of self 830 00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:55,520 denial. I mean, that's that's what a 831 00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:59,320 life with the war between flesh and spirit inside of us. 832 00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:01,520 I think it's the recipe for what we're dealing with. 833 00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:04,880 And so if I can actually believe that, am I willing to live my 834 00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:07,560 life with a lack? And do I really believe that 835 00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:10,680 this is the short part? And if I will stick it out and 836 00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:14,800 be faithful that I am headed for an existence that has no 837 00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:17,480 disappointment, that has no discouragement, that has no 838 00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:22,400 loneliness, none of that, then I really believe that that is as 839 00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:25,400 good as he promises and that his character is as good as he 840 00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:28,520 promises. Then no sacrifice and no choice 841 00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:32,480 that I make for him on this short little stint of my 842 00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:36,000 existence will be a regret to me, I don't think at the end of 843 00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:38,720 the day. To answer your question, Scott, 844 00:45:38,720 --> 00:45:40,560 about, you know, singing a better song. 845 00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:43,520 I mean, for me it's been a lot of the opposite of main 846 00:45:43,520 --> 00:45:46,840 character syndrome, you know, like I think about finding joy 847 00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:50,000 in the success of others. I think about being a part of 848 00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:55,120 God's story, spending time with the main character and learning 849 00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:58,000 to say that the box that God gave me is good. 850 00:45:58,320 --> 00:46:01,160 Learning how to embrace my lot in life 'cause there's so much 851 00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:04,640 goodness, you know, I guess it makes, I don't know if this is a 852 00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:06,600 good way to think about it or not, but when I think about the 853 00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:08,840 garden and how there was the knowledge of good and evil and 854 00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:13,040 that that from that tree you're not supposed to eat, it is funny 855 00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:14,320 to me. Like we point out like why would 856 00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:16,400 God do that? Why would God put that in front 857 00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:17,840 of them? It's kind of like, but at the 858 00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:19,880 same time, he also like said, hey, here's the whole earth, 859 00:46:20,240 --> 00:46:22,080 right? You know, so it's ironic how 860 00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:24,600 much we focus on what we don't get. 861 00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:27,920 I do think if we could focus more on what we do and then 862 00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:30,200 that's different for everybody. Well, I'm going to say that's 863 00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:33,920 going to be mine is pushing back against the scarcity mentality 864 00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:38,640 and embracing abundance, the abundance that I have first of 865 00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:41,960 all in Christ. But then God has given me so 866 00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:47,400 many resources that I, I need to be content and I need to express 867 00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:49,760 gratitude. And that's really going to guard 868 00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:52,120 my heart in a lot of ways. And then I need to express 869 00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:54,320 generosity. And I think a lot of that draws 870 00:46:54,320 --> 00:46:57,960 me near to the heart of God as far as singing, singing a better 871 00:46:57,960 --> 00:46:59,720 song. And I just want to say like, I 872 00:46:59,720 --> 00:47:01,200 think this is the point of the church. 873 00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:04,320 Like we could probably pull out a bunch of different scriptural 874 00:47:04,320 --> 00:47:06,760 references about how you can connect that concept of singing 875 00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:10,760 better song and being a witness to the death, like the what the 876 00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:13,160 goal of the church is. And my thing would be that 877 00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:16,160 shouldn't the church be a place where when we say what is a 878 00:47:16,160 --> 00:47:20,040 better song look like, you have a bunch of different melodies, a 879 00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:23,120 bunch of different, you know, orchestrations and beats and 880 00:47:23,120 --> 00:47:25,880 rhythms and instruments? Because all of us are living 881 00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:29,560 embodiments of something better than what the world was 882 00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:32,480 promising to us. But I think we should be jealous 883 00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:36,640 and hungry and experts for it. And, you know, we should be, you 884 00:47:36,680 --> 00:47:39,360 know, we should be recording and putting in front of others and 885 00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:41,120 celebrating those kinds of stories. 886 00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:46,440 And but you know, it's not easy, like the better song would be 887 00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:49,000 happening if it was easy. Like Jesus describes, just let's 888 00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:53,640 acknowledge, like he describes his way as narrow and, and you 889 00:47:53,640 --> 00:47:57,440 know, but it's the way to life. And so to me, the church should 890 00:47:57,440 --> 00:48:00,240 be the hub, right? The rally point where we can say 891 00:48:00,240 --> 00:48:01,760 here's what the better song could look like. 892 00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:03,880 Here's what looks like in her and him. 893 00:48:04,280 --> 00:48:06,160 And so for me, I'll say one more thing. 894 00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:08,000 I just want to be a part of something bigger than me. 895 00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:10,840 Like the idea of finding joy in the success of another, whether 896 00:48:10,840 --> 00:48:14,840 it's a friend or it's a family member, it's just or it's just 897 00:48:14,840 --> 00:48:17,640 our church. That's really beautiful to me. 898 00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:21,920 As someone who I've said in the talks is exhausted by a default 899 00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:23,640 setting that is worried about me. 900 00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:29,600 Like to be lost in who God is and to be lost in another and to 901 00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:32,400 be able to enjoy other humans. I thought that's where we're 902 00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:35,920 headed and we could go ahead and get a taste of that today. 903 00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:38,920 We can go ahead and start living a little bit more like that now. 904 00:48:40,880 --> 00:48:42,840 Yeah, you stole my answer, Scott. 905 00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:47,880 So now I don't know what to say. Dang man, no, I was just going 906 00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:53,840 to say I think I think gratitude when I am grateful, when I write 907 00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:57,080 those things down and speak those things out loud, it 908 00:48:57,080 --> 00:49:02,720 reminds me of God's abundance. And I think for me, one of the 909 00:49:02,720 --> 00:49:06,200 way, one of the reasons I don't sing a better song is because 910 00:49:06,200 --> 00:49:09,480 I'm moving too fast and I get caught up. 911 00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:12,960 And I think a lot of us are moving a little too fast. 912 00:49:13,640 --> 00:49:17,960 And I think if we would slow down long enough to just right 913 00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:21,720 now what God's been doing in our life, I actually think we would 914 00:49:21,720 --> 00:49:25,680 sing a better song more often. Because how you going to deny 915 00:49:25,680 --> 00:49:28,560 when God answers the prayer that you've been praying for for five 916 00:49:28,560 --> 00:49:29,720 years? That's a good point. 917 00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:35,160 And so I think some of it is just slowing down enough to see 918 00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:38,400 God working. There's this passage in Isaiah. 919 00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:40,000 I was talking to Haley about this the other day. 920 00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:44,400 It says the people never think about the Lord, so they don't 921 00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:47,480 know what he's doing. They don't notice what he's 922 00:49:47,480 --> 00:49:49,800 doing. And I think that's, so that's 923 00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:51,520 one of the traps. One of the reasons why we don't 924 00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:55,200 sing a better song is because we're so busy all the time, we 925 00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:59,000 don't notice what God is up to. And I think if we could just pay 926 00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:03,160 attention, get our eyes up and see what he's doing around us, I 927 00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:07,120 think it would be easier to combat the lie of the enemy. 928 00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:09,960 So that's what I'm trying to do personally is I'm trying to in 929 00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:14,680 my home, I want our home to be a place where we are regularly 930 00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:18,640 grateful for what God is doing. And so whether that's little 931 00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:22,760 rocks in a jar or a cork board on the wall, whatever corny tool 932 00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:27,480 we want to use, like I want me, my wife, my daughters to grow 933 00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:30,000 up. And when somebody says, hey, 934 00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:33,840 how's God been good to you? Obviously the cross. 935 00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:38,800 But then I want them to have like vivid memories from how God 936 00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:41,480 showed up, how God is better, you know. 937 00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:45,400 And so I think gratitude is one of the ways that I try to fight 938 00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:47,600 this. And it's, it's really helped 939 00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:52,280 keep me connected to the abundance of life in Christ. 940 00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:56,760 Yeah, this week I was doing some teaching with our interns. 941 00:50:56,760 --> 00:51:01,440 We were looking at Matthew 22 and Jesus to the Pharisees, to 942 00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:04,240 the Pharisees. Now he says you don't know the 943 00:51:04,240 --> 00:51:07,000 Scriptures, you don't know the power of God. 944 00:51:08,240 --> 00:51:11,120 And then he goes on to say, 'cause they're trying to trick 945 00:51:11,120 --> 00:51:12,800 him about what's the greatest commandment. 946 00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:15,320 And he says love the Lord your God, heart, soul, mind, and 947 00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:17,400 strength. Love your neighbor as yourself. 948 00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:22,400 So fully devoted to God and then fully devoted to other people 949 00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:24,960 and celebrating their successes and seeing the world through 950 00:51:24,960 --> 00:51:30,120 gratitude and having a vision for a future day, the Kingdom of 951 00:51:30,120 --> 00:51:34,520 God, the presence of it now and the promise of it in the future. 952 00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:37,920 I think those are all parts of our daily practice, what it 953 00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:41,800 means to sing this better song. So I'm grateful for all of you. 954 00:51:42,080 --> 00:51:44,840 Thank you for your time today. Thank you for your time on this 955 00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:47,400 series. And I don't think this is one 956 00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:48,640 that we're going to turn the page on. 957 00:51:48,640 --> 00:51:52,400 I think we're going to be here working through these themes for 958 00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:54,920 a while. And so I'm really, really 959 00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:56,880 grateful for all that. So thank you. 960 00:51:57,120 --> 00:51:58,400 Thank you, Scott. Thanks, Scott.