1 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:09,640 Marriage is a powerful thing created by God prior to the fall 2 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:14,000 to raise kids, to produce kids, to bring light in the world, to 3 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,920 bring glory to the now between Christ and the church. 4 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:20,240 I mean, literally, even in First Peter, it says even the degree 5 00:00:20,240 --> 00:00:24,040 to which your prayers are heard is dependent on how well you 6 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,800 love your bride. I don't think there's a full 7 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:30,240 understanding of the magnitude and significance of marriage. 8 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:34,120 Theologically, pragmatically, and for our next generation, and 9 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:36,600 until we win marriage, we're not going to win anything. 10 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:40,600 Hello, friends. Well, welcome back to the Grace 11 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,800 Church Members Podcast. I'm here in the studio with 12 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:44,440 producer Whitney. How are you, Whitney? 13 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:45,560 I'm good. How are you, Scott? 14 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,560 I'm great and we have two special guests today. 15 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:52,960 We have Jeremy Meyer, pastor of marriage here at Grace and a 16 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:56,280 special out of town guest Mr. Brad Rhodes who is the Co 17 00:00:56,280 --> 00:01:00,360 founder of Grace Marriage. They have been partnering and 18 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:03,640 they are providing the Thrive material that we use here at the 19 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:05,920 church. I know Brad has become a good 20 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:09,280 friend of yours, Jeremy, and so we are delighted to have him in 21 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:11,440 town and in the studio. But Jeremy, let me start with 22 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:12,600 you. Why don't you give us a little 23 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:15,720 update on what you're up to these days and then I'll let you 24 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:16,960 introduce Brad. Yeah. 25 00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:20,720 So, so my role is is overseeing marriage across the Grace 26 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:22,960 campuses, this kind of big picture, really providing more 27 00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:26,720 of a a supportive role to all the different campus leads. 28 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:32,320 And that that covers from on the premarital side to re engage as 29 00:01:32,320 --> 00:01:35,000 well as thrive. And then anything kind of along 30 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,840 the way where I can be a support to different campus pastors for 31 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:39,800 different pastoral kind of care reasons. 32 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,520 And remind us how long you have been on staff now. 33 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:44,360 Ten years now. No way. 34 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:46,120 Yeah. Golden Anniversary. 35 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:49,200 That's fantastic. So you mentioned Thrive, so tell 36 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:52,560 us how you and Brad got connected and then we'll have 37 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:55,280 Brad tell us a little bit about his origin story with Grace 38 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:56,240 Marriage. Yeah. 39 00:01:56,240 --> 00:02:00,680 So, you know, probably five years after we had launched to 40 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:04,880 re engage, we were looking for some type of a resource to 41 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:07,480 follow up that experience for couples. 42 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:11,600 And what ended up happening was is we weren't, I guess we 43 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,680 weren't, we didn't have a resource and we're having to 44 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:16,320 have couples go through the process kind of over and over 45 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:18,200 again. And I mean, it was at that point 46 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:21,240 it was a a nine month process because we was it was six months 47 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:24,000 to go through as well as the open group and couples were 48 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,680 like, we don't want to do all that, that again, right. 49 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:28,520 It was an amazing experience. We want to go through the 50 00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:33,000 process one more time. And so and so we end up doing 51 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,560 was, is, is I was kind of researching just different 52 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:40,360 resources and yeah, I came came across through through a, a 53 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:43,320 mutual acquaintance came across Grace marriage. 54 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:47,400 And you know, Brad and I, I mean, we, we hit it off in that 55 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:50,200 conversation just talking about the importance of marriage in 56 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:57,680 the church and, and just the, the vital, the vitality of, of 57 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:02,000 the body that we think, if we think about marriage, it has a 58 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,520 direct impact on all the other family ministries. 59 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:07,280 Right. And so if that's not thriving, 60 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:08,960 then the other ones aren't going to thrive as well. 61 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:13,080 Good, good word. And so, Brad, I think that's a 62 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:16,320 good segue to what you were seeing. 63 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,920 You're not a church guy. You were in law. 64 00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:22,520 Is that right? 22 years. 65 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:25,400 And so tell us a little bit about how you go from the 66 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:29,200 courtroom to the podcast studio here talking about marriage. 67 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:31,600 Yeah, it's an, it's just a natural transition that people 68 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:34,280 make from the courtroom. This course, it's a marriage 69 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,080 pastor. Of course it's a natural deal. 70 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:39,720 But in all seriousness, it, I did see a lot of marriage 71 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,040 breakdown in the law practice early on in my practice, did 72 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:46,080 some domestic relations stuff and wow, if you want to see 73 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:49,160 pain, you know, divorced, you know, it causes a lot of pain. 74 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:53,360 Then there's a lot of and it's almost like the Lord said Brett, 75 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:57,440 most of this is preventable and kind of called me to spend the 76 00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,880 rest of my life trying to prevent it and help people grow 77 00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:02,360 and thrive. And I meet with a lot of couples 78 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:05,640 in crisis and probably 95% of them, if they had the right 79 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:08,680 rhythms in their marriage throughout that they would never 80 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:11,800 be in that spot. And multi generations of 81 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,440 complexities and difficulties could be avoided. 82 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,360 And just felt called to spend the rest of my life equipping 83 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,320 churches with marriage ministries and helping people 84 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:22,880 completely change the paradigm on how they do marriage. 85 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:25,360 So no longer I just saw the model in our church. 86 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:28,200 The model is you do premarital counseling and then if you ever 87 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:30,600 hate each other and are thinking about a divorce, call a pastor, 88 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:33,200 counselor, spend a ton of money that lose 85% of them. 89 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,640 And I just thought that didn't seem like a great strategy. 90 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:38,080 And I thought, you know, maybe there's a better way. 91 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:38,960 Yeah. Wow. 92 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:44,400 So you along with your wife Marilyn, you guys start grace 93 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:45,560 marriage. So what is that? 94 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:48,760 Take us through that process. You know, it was, it was 95 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,040 interesting. So I've been in marriage 96 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,760 ministry and been ordained pastor marriage at our church on 97 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:57,360 a lay basis for a long time. And I've been spending more and 98 00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:59,400 more of my time in marriage. And I was at coffee shop in 99 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,640 Nicaragua and I remember like I was sitting by this kind of just 100 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:04,200 like overcame me. Like I want to quit the law and 101 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:08,160 I want to spend the rest of my life changing how marriage is 102 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:11,440 done in this nation and world. So I came home from Nicaragua 103 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:13,880 and I told Maryland, I said, look, how do you feel with five 104 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,040 kids? And then I started college. 105 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:17,520 How do you feel about me just quitting my job and trying to 106 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:18,920 start a new marriage ministry from scratch? 107 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:23,520 To to change the way we do it. Yeah, here's the, here's the big 108 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:26,000 picture. We're going to change the world. 109 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:29,280 It's, you know, Marilyn said, I know what God's called you to 110 00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:29,880 do. Go do it. 111 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:33,040 Then I got scared. So I thought, am I sacrificing 112 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:34,920 my financial, the health of my family? 113 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,560 Am I, am I just doing what I want to do with their expense? 114 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:43,040 And so I really started questioning myself and then I'll 115 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:44,680 never forget it. Marilyn said, Brad, would you 116 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:47,760 please quit looking back and wasting both our energies. 117 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:50,000 You know what God's called you to do? 118 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,600 Now go do it. It's almost like that Spider Man 119 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,600 2 reference. Go get em Tiger at the end, you 120 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,880 know, I almost felt like, I almost felt like I had my own 121 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:58,840 Mary Jane right there. Wow, that's good. 122 00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:02,760 So we'll Fast forward. So now tell us a little bit 123 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:06,600 about the scope of of grace marriage and then what do you 124 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,800 spend most of your time doing? And then kind of third part of 125 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,560 that question, what do you see from the churches that you're 126 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:15,360 working with? That's a great question. 127 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:19,560 The what I see is in most churches has a premarital 128 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:23,720 process and a crisis process and then virtually no strategy for 129 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:25,160 marriage. That's what I see. 130 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,360 Why do you think that is? Like where? 131 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,960 Where did that come from that we think about marriage that way 132 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,920 even within the church? You know, I don't know, I've 133 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,880 always wondered why did youth ministries evolve where you have 134 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:38,000 a full time youth guide, children's ministries evolve, 135 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,600 you have a full time children's guide and you have camps and 136 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,440 programs that's ongoing and they spend a lot of money on it. 137 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:46,840 And then you literally don't do anything in the marriage space 138 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:50,280 and wonder why the stats aren't bearing out that it's working. 139 00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:52,360 I call it the billion dollar failed experiment. 140 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:55,040 Cause like Jeremy said a minute ago, if you lose marriage, you 141 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,200 lose everything, right? A pastor told me. 142 00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,480 He said wow, if marriage doesn't work, nothing as a church works. 143 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,120 And we've talked on this podcast before of like we've talked 144 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,400 about children's ministry, we've talked about students ministry. 145 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,440 And a lot of times the best thing that you can do for those 146 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:10,600 groups is the parents and starting with the. 147 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,360 Marriage. Well, I'll ask children, youth 148 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:15,320 ministers and family pastor, I said, what has a bigger impact 149 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:18,600 on the spiritual development of the kids in your church, your 150 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:21,320 weekly programming or the marriage they grow up in? 151 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:24,800 Then I said, well then tell me about the resources you're 152 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,000 pointing into the marriage they grow up in. 153 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,720 If you feel that's more important than your weekly 154 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:30,520 programming. And this is as a lawyer, I just 155 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:32,720 feel like God's given me the perfect case and said, present 156 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,520 it the rest of your life and get better at it every year. 157 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:40,400 Yeah, that's a good analogy. So then you guys are? 158 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:45,480 Nationwide, yes, we're about about 30 states, about 272 159 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:46,000 churches. OK. 160 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:51,200 And so you get to visit with different churches and So what 161 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:54,080 do you what do you see when you see churches that really kind of 162 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:58,840 get get behind this idea of discipleship and marriage? 163 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:00,640 What? What changes about those 164 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:03,040 cultures? This is life. 165 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,720 I mean, you know, because it's like the health of your marriage 166 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:08,160 affects your effectiveness and everything you do. 167 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:10,720 And we had, when I was in law practice, we'd have staff 168 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:12,040 members with struggling marriages. 169 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:14,560 And it's it's kind of hard to get a whole lot done when you're 170 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:15,800 crying. Right. 171 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:17,720 So, so, so break that down a little bit more. 172 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:22,680 It's like when when male and I are doing great and it, it flows 173 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:25,880 out into my work. You know it literally. 174 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:30,680 Marriage is a powerful thing created by God prior to the fall 175 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:34,720 to raise kids, to produce kids, to bring light in the world to 176 00:08:34,799 --> 00:08:36,880 to bring glory to the knowledge between Christ and the church. 177 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:41,240 I mean, literally, even in First Peter, it says even the degree 178 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:45,040 to which your prayers are heard is dependent on how well you 179 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:47,800 love your bride. I don't think there's a full 180 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:51,240 understanding of the magnitude and significance of marriage. 181 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:55,120 Theologically, pragmatically, and for our next generation, and 182 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:57,720 until we win marriage, we're not going to win anything. 183 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,400 Yeah. I wonder if we have just kind of 184 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:07,520 treated marriage as an end of itself and have really lacked 185 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:11,360 that biblical theological view. So therefore, if marriage is 186 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:15,440 doing OK, then we don't need to give that much attention. 187 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:17,920 So and then OK becomes this huge sliding scale. 188 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,960 Whereas if you take what the picture that you just presented, 189 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:26,400 which is a biblical picture, you always need to be putting energy 190 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,360 into it because it is about worship, it is about 191 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:33,240 transformation. It's about being conformed to 192 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:36,640 Christ's image and godliness. But it, it seems like we settled 193 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:39,840 for a lesser standard. So then the attention that it 194 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:45,920 needs or the effort that we put into it abs and flows with 195 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:49,440 other, you know, oh, kids, kids ministry needs work. 196 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:52,640 Oh, we need to focus on outreach or whatever different things. 197 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:56,320 So do you see that, Jeremy, even maybe in the way people think 198 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:59,480 about marriage here? Yeah, I think that there's a 199 00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:06,280 desire for their marriage to thrive and yet there's AI think 200 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:09,640 there's a a need in the moment for their kids to be cared for. 201 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:13,000 And I think that that's, I don't think that's a unique to grace. 202 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:18,160 I think that when a when, when, when children are when there's 203 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:21,640 disruption in the family, they families seek to care for the 204 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:23,600 disruption rather than go for the source. 205 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:26,720 And and that, that source obviously is the Lord, but that, 206 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:30,120 but there's not a, a recognition that, hey, we need to be working 207 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:33,400 on our marriage because because that outflow our kids are taking 208 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:37,160 in and and so therefore we do need to be able to work on our 209 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:38,920 marriage. The interesting thing is 210 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:41,560 marriage is just this thing that just supposed to work. 211 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:44,760 It's like we recognize to be in good health you have to really 212 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:46,160 proactively take care of your health. 213 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:48,360 For your car not to break down, you have to change what we have 214 00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:49,440 to do this for your yard to look good. 215 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,320 You have to do things. But for some reason, we think if 216 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:54,440 you love each other and you have this connection, it just 217 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:57,960 supposed to work. There's really not a mentality 218 00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:02,440 that you proactively invest into it time and resources for it to 219 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:04,520 work. And because there's not this 220 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:08,400 investment mentality, this growth mentality, it stagnates, 221 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:11,840 declines and then 40 to 50% crisis out of divorce. 222 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:15,120 So it's really a complete change in paradigm and how people do 223 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:18,680 marriage from because marriage does not work on autopilot. 224 00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:22,880 It doesn't work for anybody. And, and, but we feel that love, 225 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,920 whatever people think it is supposed to just make it so it 226 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:28,960 takes care of itself. And it just doesn't that. 227 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:30,000 That's what happened in our marriage. 228 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,040 Our first year, we just were crazy about each other and we 229 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,800 thought it would just work. And within six months, I was our 230 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,160 least favorite human in the world. 231 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,640 And it's interesting like as I'm listening to you talking, like 232 00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:43,240 that's exactly the perspective of I think my generation, just 233 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:47,240 like the people that I'm in contact with and have a lot of 234 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:50,080 friends who are dating, engaged, getting married. 235 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:53,360 And it's almost like there's this huge emphasis of like, this 236 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:56,520 is the goal of your entire life is to get married. 237 00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:59,800 And there's like so much importance placed on it. 238 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:03,400 But then once you are married, like, it kind of dies off. 239 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:04,800 You know, it's like what we did the thing. 240 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:07,120 And so we accomplished life's goal. 241 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:09,360 And it sounds like that should be flipped. 242 00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:12,360 Like, but the trick, the trick is when you're dating, you often 243 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:15,640 time have this powerful emotions and chemicals released in your 244 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:17,760 brain. So it does just work. 245 00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:20,760 It comes really natural because it's these strong emotions 246 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:23,120 driving it. And depending on the research, 247 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:24,240 it's between 4:00 and 9:00 months. 248 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:29,040 Once those those emotions wear out, they wear off, and then no 249 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:32,680 longer does it. All this proactive love happened 250 00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:35,520 just as a natural outpouring of strong emotion, because that 251 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,360 strong emotion isn't there anymore. 252 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:40,080 And then nobody's really saying, hey, you've got to pick it up 253 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:42,760 and keep going. Then the marriage falls into a 254 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:45,920 stagnant, complacent norm. Some put up with it, some give 255 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:49,120 up on. Yeah, and if, if I'm not aware 256 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:52,600 that this could be happening, then I, I feel bad. 257 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:56,480 I feel like ashamed because my marriage that I've been building 258 00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:59,840 up to for this long period in my mind isn't working. 259 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,120 So then I'm going to, I'm going to hide and I'm probably not 260 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:04,440 going to talk about it, which means it's just going to get 261 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:07,160 worse. So then maybe we'll have kids 262 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:11,040 and then that'll help, right. And it's a good distraction 263 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,120 because now we're now we're business partners raising kids. 264 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,720 Fast forward, you know, 10/15/20 years. 265 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:19,040 We know what we're that if we make it that far. 266 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:22,040 And things become identity issues so quickly, right? 267 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:25,320 Like when things go back that it becomes like, not only is the 268 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:28,000 marriage not good, like I'm not good, it must be my fault. 269 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,160 Like I'm not a Good Wife, I'm not a good husband, I'm not a 270 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:32,480 good parent. And like, that just gets 271 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:35,400 convoluted, especially for us as believers when we want our 272 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,440 identity to be rooted in Christ, and just gets messy. 273 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:42,840 I think one of the issues is, is that when we, when we think 274 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:47,800 about the, the marriage or the, the, the goal of marriage is, is 275 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:50,280 really how you know what it's really getting to that day one, 276 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:56,600 which is the wedding day, right and versus day 18,250. 277 00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:58,160 Yeah, it's a specific number, Jimmy. 278 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:02,000 So like, that's kind of odd. That is 50 years of being 279 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:02,360 married. Wow. 280 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,920 And so we want to think through how, you know what, we're not 281 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:10,080 preparing for day one. We're preparing for 18,250. 282 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,440 Yeah, it's a good perspective. And so trying to aim and think, 283 00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:14,840 what does it look like for us to grow in our discipleship? 284 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:18,280 Where, you know, if you think about with Paul and and talking 285 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:22,000 to the people of Ephesus, I mean, there in Ephesians 525 286 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,680 talks about the idea of husbands, love your wife as 287 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:26,400 Christ, as the church, right. Well, and we, and we spend so 288 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:30,160 much energy on that. Well, 531 talks about the idea 289 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,240 of, Hey, well, I wasn't exactly just talking about the church. 290 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:35,240 I mean talking about husband and wife relationship, but a greater 291 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:38,040 emphasis upon the church. And So what does it look like 292 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:42,960 for us to be growing as His disciples, where we are our 293 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,680 image bearers of of who He is? Yeah, that's good. 294 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:50,280 So Brad, in this new paradigm that like I gave you in the 295 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:53,240 coffee shop in Nicaragua, I love that picture where you're 296 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:57,720 talking about, you know, maintaining and building into a 297 00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:00,440 healthy marriage. What does the curriculum of 298 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:01,520 Thrive? What does it look like? 299 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:04,960 How does it help that to occur? What it does, it gives you a 300 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:08,840 really a platform to connect and to plan and to grow and to 301 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:11,520 celebrate. So when you're in Thrive and you 302 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:15,400 might just get 10 to 15 minutes of teaching, but the rest of it 303 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:18,440 is you really applying it and talking through and getting 304 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:19,840 excited about it in your own marriage. 305 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,440 You know, I had my Thrive session, we call it Grace 306 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:24,120 Marriage, our church. We had Thrive session just to 307 00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:26,560 do. And I left after our session 308 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,880 just like crazy excited about being Maryland married to 309 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:30,280 Maryland. We had fun things on the 310 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:32,640 calendar. We had date scheduled. 311 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,880 We talked about areas of our marriage that we're going to 312 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:39,240 really focus on and enjoy. And I mean, still riding high 313 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:42,080 from it. And I mean, you get to do life 314 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:43,680 with your very best friend in the world. 315 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,120 You get to you get to cry together, you get to laugh 316 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,160 together, you get to enjoy each other physically. 317 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:52,120 It's it's such a gift. And then a busy dominated cell 318 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:54,120 phone world. Now we superimpose a child 319 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,720 centered culture on top of it. And very few people get to 320 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:59,280 experience. And it's just it's just so sad. 321 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:02,760 And when you see people drink the kool-aid, it is you see, 322 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:05,720 it's like, whoa, this, this is all right. 323 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,840 Yeah. You know, it was like a couple 324 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:11,400 in our in our group, they did, they had your typical marriage. 325 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,440 They had kids. They were kids activities. 326 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,800 And I said, you know, get away from kids once a week and just 327 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,680 enjoy one another for four hours. 328 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:19,560 He said, are we allowed to do that? 329 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:25,080 I said, yeah, he's done it. And now they've incorporated 1/4 330 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,800 once, not a quarter. They go away separate. 331 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:28,400 And he said now we love being married. 332 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:31,680 He goes, I can't tell you how much better a parent I am now 333 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,680 that I'm living refreshed with my bride. 334 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:37,760 Raising my kids and not living dominated by my kids. 335 00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:39,840 Just coin life side by side with my bride. 336 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:43,400 Yeah, yeah, it's, it's funny you say that because we, we just had 337 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:47,880 a, a young leaders retreat from our downtown campus and it was 338 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:51,520 so encouraging hearing these, these young marrieds share, you 339 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:54,160 know, been married, you know, probably 3 or 4 years. 340 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:57,200 And you know, they were saying, this is the best thing we've 341 00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:00,440 experienced since I've been a grace because it's because it's 342 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:03,320 brought us closer together and where we then want to be able to 343 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,200 more emphatically worship and serve. 344 00:17:06,319 --> 00:17:09,400 And, and then they were, you know, we had some, you know, 70 345 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:12,839 year old leaders who were investing in these young 346 00:17:12,839 --> 00:17:14,880 couples. And, and they also were like, 347 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,839 now this is just this weekend away for us. 348 00:17:16,839 --> 00:17:19,760 While we loved investing in these younger couples, this it 349 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:23,520 was, it was uniting. It was invigorating for us to be 350 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:26,440 able to to do this. And so which then wants us to be 351 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:29,120 able to be able to or gives us the energy to be able to serve 352 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,280 at our local campus. Brad, you mentioned the word 353 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:35,800 refresh refresher is on your website and that really stood 354 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,440 out to me. I just, I love the the image of 355 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:41,120 that word. But one of the things you said 356 00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:44,640 is to help move marriages from performance based to grace 357 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:47,360 based. Can you elaborate on that a 358 00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:49,000 little bit more? Absolutely. 359 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:52,760 Romans 614 says sin will have no dominion, no mastery, no control 360 00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:54,680 over you because you're under grace, not law. 361 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,040 And the reality is none of us are consistent. 362 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,480 I mean, I'm grouchy some weeks and I'm nice some weeks. 363 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:03,760 I'm romantic some weeks and there's weeks I don't do 364 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:07,400 anything thoughtful. But you know, I just got got 365 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:10,400 grace and we love each other despite our sin. 366 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,120 We don't hold our sin against each other. 367 00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:15,040 So in a performance based marriage, what happens is one 368 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,840 person has a difficult week, responds thoughtlessly, the 369 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:21,200 other takes offense and responds in kind, moves away, goes cold, 370 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:24,440 snaps back in a grace based marriage, it's like a, it's more 371 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,760 of a rescue and tell you, well, Brad's struggling this week, had 372 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:30,320 a tough month in November and Marilyn just kept pursuing me. 373 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:33,200 She goes, well, he's, he's cold, he's distant and he leads a 374 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,280 marriage ministry and he's kind of a but you know, she could 375 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:38,920 have easily said that, but but instead, you know, she's 376 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:40,960 pursuing me. She's praying for me, she's 377 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,760 scheduling dates. She's doing this. 378 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:45,320 Why? Because Marilyn chooses to love 379 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,720 me, period. She doesn't love me because what 380 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:52,840 she gets from me, just like God doesn't love us from what he 381 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,280 gets from us. While we were enemies of God, 382 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:57,400 while we ever get sinners, Christ died for us. 383 00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,520 And how do you love each other like that? 384 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:02,000 So grace is the atmosphere of pursuit. 385 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,200 It's a rescue mentality. It's pity the man that falls and 386 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:07,160 has no one to help him up. When Maryland's gotten down, I 387 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:09,160 hope I've moved toward her and helped her out. 388 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,720 And when I've gotten down, she's moved toward me and helped me 389 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:13,640 up. And we make it clear this isn't 390 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:16,200 tolerating abuse, infidelity. That's a whole nother situation, 391 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:20,040 but just in the day-to-day. In the day-to-day, we get more 392 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:23,200 testimonies on the power of God's grace in marriage than 393 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,200 every other rhythm we teach combined. 394 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:29,200 Which is so much more attainable than trying to be a perfect wife 395 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:31,160 or a perfect husband. Like nobody's going to win that 396 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:34,320 one. So we actually have that this 397 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:38,120 particular lesson as the very first one in foundations of the 398 00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:40,600 foundation, specifically in the Grace Marriage or Thrive 399 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:45,040 curriculum. So explain if you would why the 400 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:48,760 grace based like that grace versus performance mindset is in 401 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,520 that very first lesson. Because it's foundational. 402 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:54,760 Because if you don't get grace, you're going to live on each 403 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:57,640 other's nerves. Because you all have annoying 404 00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,120 habits, You all have difficulties. 405 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:03,320 Nobody's perfect. First, John tells us, we all sin 406 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,040 if we say we don't. We deceive ourselves. 407 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,720 So if the reality is Maryland doesn't handle life perfectly 408 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,840 and I don't, if we don't get grace, the degree we don't 409 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:15,320 handle it well will cause a wedge in our marriage and sin 410 00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:16,720 will have dominion after your control. 411 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,840 So grace, it's unless the Lord built it, it's built in vain. 412 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:23,520 It is the rock foundation to build any relationship on 413 00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:27,880 because without grace we have no hope and we don't. 414 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,760 Our hope is grace and forgiveness in a relationship 415 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:31,600 with God. And I find that to be the case 416 00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:35,240 horizontally as well. So, so share if you would, about 417 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:39,560 the impact of practicing and like receiving and practicing 418 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:43,440 God's grace in your own life and how that directly impacts your 419 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:46,440 relationship and expressing grace to your wife. 420 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:50,400 Well, I, I grew up in a very performance based Christianity. 421 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:53,480 So like the more mature you are, the more time you spent, you 422 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,680 know, so I'm getting up at 5:00 in the morning doing this to the 423 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,160 Christian, you know, light yoke easy burden rested soul boy. 424 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,480 I never got that it just felt heavy. 425 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:05,720 It felt hard instead of a mentor of mine really taught me grace 426 00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:08,000 and said Brad your hopes not in your performance. 427 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,120 It's it's just you can chill dude. 428 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:14,120 You can rest you can relax you can abide you can enjoy and got 429 00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:16,920 your father who gives you favor delights and he likes watching 430 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:18,760 you play golf. He likes you get excited at 431 00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:20,920 games. You have a father delights me, 432 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:23,440 but it just seemed too good to be true. 433 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,080 So I just couldn't. And then one day I was in my den 434 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:27,880 and I almost heard Godsey oddly bread. 435 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:32,880 You're not OK, and it's OK. I was like, really? 436 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:37,400 It literally just felt like a box of bricks were pulled off of 437 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:38,480 me. That's never come by. 438 00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:44,960 And it's like, yes, but it's like, I do feel like easy 439 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,960 burden, light yoke, rested souls, Sabbath, rest of Christ. 440 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:51,000 Now I realize they can be experiential realities for the 441 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:55,040 believer, but only if you get grace and you walk in grace. 442 00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:59,080 And to your point, if it's hard to give something you don't get. 443 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,400 So when you put yourself under a lot of pressure, you put other 444 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:04,720 people under a lot of pressure. When you live feeling kind of 445 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:07,120 condemned, you're very good at condemning others. 446 00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:10,000 When you get Romans 81, there's no condemnation in Christ and 447 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,760 your wife does terrible. Oh, Oh well, she needs grace 448 00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:14,880 like I need grace. And man, we can have a great 449 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:18,440 ministry of reconciliation and put on display, and we don't 450 00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:21,000 have a great relationship. It's not because she's a great 451 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,320 wife and I'm a great husband. It's because we have a perfect 452 00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,320 Savior and both of us are totally forgiven and we're able 453 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,160 to live in that state toward one another. 454 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:34,560 And I think that's one reason why marriage ministry struggles 455 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:38,320 is because I think people have a hard time engaging God that way. 456 00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:43,440 It really enjoying God, seeing that God enjoys them, and then 457 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:45,080 being able to take those principles and apply to 458 00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:48,080 marriage. So if, if God and I are on some 459 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:52,000 type of performance track, then that's how my wife and I are at. 460 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:53,960 But we we've tried it and doesn't work. 461 00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:56,880 So we're just kind of stuck. So the so the gears have kind of 462 00:22:56,880 --> 00:23:00,120 grind ground to a halt and we're just going to, you know, on our 463 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:04,120 best days, tolerate each other. On our worst days, just, you 464 00:23:04,120 --> 00:23:07,120 know, avoid each other, keep doing life around the kids. 465 00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:10,440 But to have this kind of abiding relationship with God that 466 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:12,880 didn't get supplied to our marriage, I think that that's a 467 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:17,600 big, big, big step that we forget is to is to really 468 00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:19,760 understand the grace of God and bring it into our marriage. 469 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:22,920 And so as we get better at one, we definitely should get better 470 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,840 at the other. So then Jeremy, what have you 471 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:30,200 seen as we have put Thrive in place pretty new just the last 472 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:33,720 couple years? Tell us about some of the just 473 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,440 the experiences, the stories that you've seen at our 474 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:40,560 different campuses putting this kind of refreshment into place. 475 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:43,760 Yeah. So it so at our Powdersville 476 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:49,240 campus, it was a a group of folks who are they're as they're 477 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:51,520 meeting on a quarterly basis initially. 478 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:55,520 And and that the feedback was so strong in their experience that 479 00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:57,760 then then they were going to hey, what does it look like for 480 00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:59,920 us to not just make quarterly? Can we can we do it more? 481 00:23:59,920 --> 00:24:01,080 Can we meet a little bit more often? 482 00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:03,760 And so and so they're meeting, I think they're meeting six or 483 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:06,640 seven times throughout the year. They add a couple more to it. 484 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:10,440 And you know, it's interesting because Brad and I were talking 485 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:14,480 about this a little bit earlier, just the idea that it's, it's 486 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:17,720 similar to working out in some ways where if you haven't worked 487 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,480 out in a while and then you go work out like you are exhausted. 488 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:22,720 Like, and it was, and there's a big like, wow, like that was a 489 00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:26,280 massive workout, right? That said, if we're continuing 490 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:29,520 to work out then and we're working those muscles, we're 491 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:33,440 sometimes not as aware of the of the impact until we stop working 492 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,280 out those muscles. And so so we're thrive comes in. 493 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:40,280 And what we've heard just from from at Pattersville down at at 494 00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:44,520 downtown as well as TR Spartanburg is that is that 495 00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:47,840 these couples are really appreciating that one-on-one 496 00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:52,600 face to FaceTime where they may not necessarily mean crisis, but 497 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,320 they're but they're just they're locking arms together and having 498 00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:57,160 time to go. Hey, you know what, Let's not be 499 00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,880 ships missing each other in the night, but rather let's let's 500 00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:02,040 really spend some time, some dedicated time to connect. 501 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:06,320 Jeremy, when you talk about that face to FaceTime, like for 502 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:09,160 people who are living together and are in context together all 503 00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:12,240 the time, like what's the difference between like, I see 504 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:15,000 you at home all the time and we have dinner every day and like 505 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:16,960 this kind of FaceTime that you're talking about? 506 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:21,480 Yeah, it is so easy to to be cooked, to be cooking dinner, to 507 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:24,560 be doing, you know, all the the necessities to take care of a 508 00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:28,560 home, to be running kids around everywhere versus hey, you know 509 00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:30,280 what, let's spend some time together. 510 00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:34,440 Specifically say on next Thursday night where we're going 511 00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:38,200 to we're going to dig in and consider some some teaching that 512 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,840 is is not super long where it's like 1012 minutes into where we 513 00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:45,160 can just kind of chew on it a little bit and and then like 514 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:48,000 individually and then to be able to talk about it for a few 515 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,920 minutes and then and then to be able to something sometimes we 516 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:54,560 can talk about in groups, but that it's that idea of of being 517 00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:57,720 known. And I think that from a biblical 518 00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:01,800 standpoint in, in Genesis 3, talking about that idea of being 519 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:05,720 naked, unashamed to where like there's, there's a fullness of 520 00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:10,480 understanding one another. And, and that is, I think that 521 00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:14,240 the missing component of so many couples is that is what is we're 522 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,840 running wild. And yet, and yet, they may not 523 00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:18,200 fully know me. Right. 524 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:22,120 And so same parallel from our own walk of faith where you can 525 00:26:22,120 --> 00:26:25,520 be reading your Bible and praying and like going to church 526 00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:27,760 and worshiping and you get into this routine. 527 00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:31,160 But that's not the same as like we've talked about spending a 528 00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:34,200 long unhurried time with God. Like that's a different kind of 529 00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:36,160 intimacy that's formed in that. That's cool. 530 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:40,160 And when you're at home, most communication is is driven by 531 00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,520 the moment. You know, it's like when Mary 532 00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:43,400 and I are talking, when's your doctor's appointment tomorrow. 533 00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:45,320 What are the kids have? What do you have this? 534 00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:46,440 Who's doing dinner? Where are you going? 535 00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:49,760 This so most of it. In Thrive. 536 00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:52,680 You will talk about things and connect at a level deeper than 537 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,160 you will ever connect with at home. 538 00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:56,640 I mean, male and I have been married 29 years. 539 00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:59,240 Our richest, deepest conversations are during our 540 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,120 sessions. We talk a lot. 541 00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:06,000 We have a pretty complex life with five kids that dominates 542 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:09,000 most of our communication. But when we stop and pull out 543 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:13,280 and have structured discussions about deep things, it pulls us 544 00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:16,320 together in a unique way and excites us about one another. 545 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,320 Yeah, and you're highlighting you could I guess it's kind of 546 00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:21,680 see your face over here with the with the energy that you had and 547 00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:25,480 excitement that you have with Marilyn about your relationship. 548 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:30,240 And I think that that as we are investing like where it's, it's 549 00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:33,920 a quarterly, monthly, whatever, you know, Ave. we choose through 550 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,920 Thrive that it, that there's that snowball effect that starts 551 00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:39,720 to happen where you're excited, you're energized, where, where 552 00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:43,160 marriage is not a, a boring thing or, or a study we have to 553 00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:44,240 do. But actually this is an 554 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:48,440 opportunity for us to 1 individually appreciate the, the 555 00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:51,560 joy God's given us and we get to do this thing together, you 556 00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:54,480 know, and it's a it's a gift. So give us just the the two 557 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:59,080 minutes outline of what a session, for lack of a better 558 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:00,400 term. What would that? 559 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:01,840 What does that look like? Yeah. 560 00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:05,880 So, so we would open with some form of teaching. 561 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,120 Sometimes it's video, sometimes it's a couple up front. 562 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:11,360 And, and then there would be, it's for about 10 or 12 minutes 563 00:28:11,360 --> 00:28:13,960 or so. And then we would have an 564 00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:17,280 opportunity to then do some individual work to where 565 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:20,960 there's, there's, there's some questions provided to where we 566 00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:21,960 have to consider, hey, what was that? 567 00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:23,920 What did we learn and draw out of that teaching? 568 00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:25,800 And we get about 10 minutes for that. 569 00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:28,440 And so there's individual homework and then we get 570 00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:31,880 together after that, we kind of walk, walk off into, you know, 571 00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:33,680 there's some, some chairs throughout the lobby. 572 00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:36,280 And it really takes some time and energy to share. 573 00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:38,240 Hey, what is it that your, what were your takeaways? 574 00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:39,520 And let's talk through this a little bit. 575 00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:42,760 And it's an opportunity where, you know, if we got 20 minutes 576 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,840 or so, we try to communicate, hey, like you got 10 minutes 577 00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:48,120 each. And for if you're a talker, like 578 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,280 you got 10 minutes, if you're not a talker, you get stepped 579 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:53,440 up, you know, and so, but that's the framework. 580 00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:55,360 There's that, there's that listening and that's that 581 00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:56,920 receiving component. There's that. 582 00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:58,880 There's that work component, and there's that conversation 583 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:01,800 component. And so the whole event is 2 to 584 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:04,120 three hours. Yeah, it really depends on on 585 00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:06,280 the campus. So, so for example, our TR 586 00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:09,640 campus, they, they love Saturdays and it has worked 587 00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:12,920 really well for them. And so they'll go from I think 588 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:15,520 like 8:30 to 12:30. And so they'll, they'll spend a 589 00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:18,080 good solid 4 hours. They'll have breakfast with 590 00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:21,600 everybody and, and then there may be a game or two and then 591 00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:23,400 we'll transition and go into the content. 592 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:26,240 There's a typically four to six lessons that we'll try to cover 593 00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:30,080 depending upon whether it's a four hour or a three hour time 594 00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:30,880 experience. OK. 595 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:32,800 So a lot of flexibility. Yeah, tons of flexibility 596 00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:35,760 depending on the campus. And so, Brad, then what's the 597 00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:39,920 what's the big picture? How long can a church to thrive? 598 00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:42,400 Do you do it for a year and do it for two years and you're 599 00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:43,560 dying? Or what does this look like? 600 00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:47,040 We have 7 years of curriculum. So every session curriculum 601 00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:49,480 changes every session for seven straight years. 602 00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:53,000 So we, so it's, it's kind of that ongoing. 603 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,800 It's just an ongoing investment. Well, and your marriage changes 604 00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:59,400 after seven years, so but will. Will you change quarter for 605 00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:00,000 quarter? Yeah. 606 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:03,120 I mean, one quarter we have a kid and really having tough 607 00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:05,440 health problems. The next quarter I'm super 608 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:08,040 stressed and having trouble functioning the next quarter. 609 00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:11,120 So. So your life is always difficult 610 00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:14,280 to navigate, and you need to take this time aside to be 611 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:17,360 intentional on navigating together because life will 612 00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:21,000 always throw things at you to try to put a division in you. 613 00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:25,440 And when things get really hard, it's easy not to talk a lot to 614 00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:28,160 one another about it because it's not pleasant. 615 00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:30,360 It's stressful to even verbalize it. 616 00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:35,400 Jeremy, just as we're wrapping up here, give us big picture 617 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:40,480 context, you know, how does re engage, how does bridge fit with 618 00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:43,880 this type thrive material? Just kind of kind of paint the 619 00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:46,360 big picture for marriage for us, at least here at Grace. 620 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:49,920 Yeah. So kicking things off would be, 621 00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,840 would be bridge that's that's our premarital process. 622 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:57,520 And so the aim there is to help kind of bridge the gap between 623 00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:02,280 couples who are engaged and then trying to encourage and, and, 624 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:07,600 and equip them for a journey of following Jesus together on the, 625 00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:11,560 it's very simple format there with that aim again, of thinking 626 00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:15,160 long term. And then from there, the aim 627 00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:17,760 would then be to transition in to reengage, whether there's a 628 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:22,080 foundation that's cultivated and developed that is, that's pretty 629 00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:24,520 in depth. It's, it's, it is 14 weeks. 630 00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:28,880 And the, the goal there is, is, is that you are growing together 631 00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:31,760 while also in community and you're in small groups. 632 00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:35,720 And, and then coming out of that, we're going, hey, so if we 633 00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:38,960 developed this foundation, we then want to continue to have a 634 00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:42,520 resource where we can maintain and as well as continue to grow 635 00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:46,200 in our relationship and to, to keep things literally thriving 636 00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:48,120 in our relationship. And so, so that would be you 637 00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:53,680 thrive into where to where we, if we engage was, was the small 638 00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:56,520 group emphasis thrive as the face to FaceTime. 639 00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:58,560 And it's, it's intentional face to FaceTime. 640 00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:01,640 And remind us where our re engage material comes from. 641 00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:04,480 Great question. Yeah, so from Watermark Church 642 00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:07,560 in Dallas and so they they they've been doing reengage I 643 00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:12,040 think for about 20 years. And and so they've been 644 00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:16,560 incredibly generous as far as how, how they have create, 645 00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:19,400 created the content as well as provided resource for us to help 646 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:21,320 launch which we would launched I guess 10 years ago. 647 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:24,120 Awesome. And then, you know, as you told 648 00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:27,840 earlier, Thrive came along, you got connected with Brad. 649 00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:30,400 Brad, how do you see your relationship, what you're doing 650 00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:32,360 in Grace marriage and Thrive with Reengage? 651 00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:37,280 Well, I see like kind of picture of Reengage getting you up in 652 00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:40,120 the air and then Thrive helping you stay in the air and gain 653 00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:43,240 altitude over time. Thrive is a thing that helps you 654 00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:46,040 grow year after year, quarter after quarter, month after 655 00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:48,720 month. Reengage really helps you 656 00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:52,720 understand marriage better, deal with issues to better equip you 657 00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:56,440 and get you and get you ready. But what we don't want to occur 658 00:32:56,440 --> 00:33:00,120 is have a great experience with Reengage and then life chip away 659 00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:03,040 at you over time with a diminished impact over the years 660 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:06,280 with this reversion to previous norm because everything needs 661 00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:09,480 ongoing attention to thrive. So what we do is want to make 662 00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:11,880 sure we give you a really good Ave. to give your marriage 663 00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:15,800 ongoing attention so that when you finish Reengage, you're at 664 00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:17,960 your starting point, you're not at your high point. 665 00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:20,760 Yeah, it's a great analogy and I think that's helpful because we 666 00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:24,360 do have number of folks that are familiar with Reengage, Thrive 667 00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:26,200 might be something new that they're hearing for the first 668 00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:28,480 time. To be able to put those together 669 00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:30,760 is is super important. And then there's some 670 00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:34,480 interesting things happening just with our Grayson Espanol or 671 00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:38,000 now Iglesia Gracia resources. Yeah, you're familiar with that 672 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:39,440 a little bit. Whitney, tell us what's going on 673 00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:40,120 there. I am. 674 00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:43,080 I would love to shout out Iglesia Gracia whenever I can. 675 00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:47,440 They are just doing great work to translate these resources and 676 00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:49,680 Brad has been very kind to allow us to do that. 677 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,960 And so that's just a really neat opportunity where we get to take 678 00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:57,040 the resources that he and Marilyn have created and just 679 00:33:57,040 --> 00:34:00,120 other resources from our partners at Watermark, translate 680 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:03,600 those into Spanish and those are being sent out across the 681 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:06,360 country and even to our partners in Latin America. 682 00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:08,840 So they're just doing some really good work. 683 00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:12,159 That's exciting to be able to provide all of these great 684 00:34:12,159 --> 00:34:15,360 resources in Spanish. That's just not, again, as we've 685 00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:17,560 said before, as common as they are in English. 686 00:34:18,159 --> 00:34:19,880 That's awesome. Cheer me and Brad. 687 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:22,679 This has been great. We have about 5 minutes left, so 688 00:34:22,679 --> 00:34:26,560 give us your closing thoughts and encouragement for our 689 00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:27,480 church. Yeah. 690 00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:31,560 So as it relates to to thrive, there's this propensity for us 691 00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:35,760 as as we are living life and we may have a have an exceptional 692 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:38,480 marriage like we may be be this bonding left and right having a 693 00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:41,800 blast. And, and, and regardless of how 694 00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:44,159 great of a marriage we have, we still have to work on it. 695 00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:48,679 And most of us don't have the resources and tools to be able 696 00:34:48,679 --> 00:34:51,400 to do that well. And so I think that that's where 697 00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:54,360 Thrive comes in to where, hey, you know what, like this 698 00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:55,920 resource is being provided to you. 699 00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:57,120 You don't have to think about it. 700 00:34:57,360 --> 00:35:00,960 You just come in and you're encouraged, have a good time 701 00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:05,600 and, and, and you walk out reinvigorated as you've got a 702 00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:07,360 plan. Like we know when we're getting 703 00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:10,000 together for our date night two weeks from now, three weeks from 704 00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:13,800 now, we know we're coming back for Thrive and, and, and we look 705 00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:15,840 forward to that time. Like that's even something for 706 00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:18,000 Brooke and I were like, you know, we get to leave this 707 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:19,120 thing. We're so pumped about it. 708 00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:22,040 And so I think that that's also something we've seen in couples 709 00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:25,760 is that is that they experience it, they love it, and they can't 710 00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:27,920 wait to come back. And that one thing I would say 711 00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:31,880 is those that attend Grace Church recognize how unique your 712 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:33,840 church is. So we work with churches around 713 00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:37,000 the country. Grace Church values marriage and 714 00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,960 invest in marriage in a way very few churches do. 715 00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:43,120 You have a strategy. You've got your premarital, 716 00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:46,160 you've got the re engage peace. You've got your thrive peace. 717 00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:50,000 It's it's intentional. And the reason I left the law is 718 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,760 because I want virtually every church in America to look like 719 00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:56,400 what Grace is doing now. Well, I encourage you to be part 720 00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:58,800 of the marriage movement by being part of what grace is 721 00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:01,200 doing. Because when you are investing 722 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:04,000 in your marriage, you're taking a you're playing a role in 723 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:07,280 changing how marriage is done. Hebrews 13-4 says let marriage 724 00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:10,400 be held in honor among all. The church has largely been 725 00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:12,600 silent on marriage, and it's not been honored by all. 726 00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:16,240 It's been ridiculed by most. If the church steps forward and 727 00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:19,360 the younger generation looks and sees people having an absolute 728 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:22,400 blast together, it will completely change the paradigm 729 00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:24,520 and how they view marriage. Part of what we're trying to 730 00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:28,080 rebrand this whole thing, right? Rebrand the whole thing so that 731 00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:30,840 the younger generation can't wait to do it because it looks 732 00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:33,320 so stinking cool. And that's how Maryland I got 733 00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:34,360 the marriage minister in first place. 734 00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:35,680 One young couple came to us, though. 735 00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:38,080 You do our pre Maryland. So our pastor, I said why? 736 00:36:38,240 --> 00:36:40,120 They said what you'd have looks for. 737 00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:42,760 Yeah. And we're not going to change 738 00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:47,520 marriage until we as individual couples choose to not schedule 739 00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:50,720 our over our marriages, to prioritize it over other things 740 00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:54,120 and have vibrant marriages that attract marriage to a younger 741 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,120 generation. Which is so different from the 742 00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:59,160 cultural narrative of, like, it's a ball and chain, you know, 743 00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:02,400 and you're just stuck and you do the best that you can. 744 00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:05,800 And then maybe when you're empty nesters and your kids get out of 745 00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:09,480 the house, you can do something fun, you know? 746 00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:12,440 Like, what you're describing is so much more compelling. 747 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:14,320 Absolutely. You've got five kids, and we 748 00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:17,320 were in a, you know, a fun concert on Broadway in Nashville 749 00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:19,200 this week. We have a blast together. 750 00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:23,600 It's like the most fun thing of my life is my marriage. 751 00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:26,160 That's awesome. It is like, it is such, you 752 00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:28,400 know, scripture talks about being an Oasis in the desert. 753 00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:30,760 Yeah, you know, it is. It's just like you got your very 754 00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:33,760 best friend that you get to richly enjoy while you're 755 00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:37,320 handling all these complex difficulties all around you that 756 00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:39,120 only seem to get worse as you get older. 757 00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:41,240 Yeah. So you could could we highlight 758 00:37:41,240 --> 00:37:42,280 something real quick here? Of course. 759 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:46,360 So to talk about that, that impact, if you would, on empty 760 00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:48,680 nesters, because one of the things that we'll see is that, 761 00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:51,720 you know, couples are coming through and and you have that 762 00:37:51,720 --> 00:37:54,640 sandwich season where you're where parents are parents are 763 00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:57,280 are struggling and trying to take care of them, trying to 764 00:37:57,280 --> 00:38:00,960 launch kids when you have some younger surprises and and oh, by 765 00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:03,840 the way, I'm Jeremy, you know, like just trying to we're 766 00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:06,440 reuniting. And so and we and we see that 767 00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:08,360 struggle. So I share with you what about 768 00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:11,240 this, the impact of. If you if you do thrive and you 769 00:38:11,240 --> 00:38:13,880 follow Grace's plan for your marriage, you will look forward 770 00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:17,040 to your empty mast. I mean you will like this is 771 00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:19,080 going to be amazing. We just get to enjoy each other 772 00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:21,520 in total freedom. You'll love your kids, but 773 00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:23,960 you'll have a marriage centric home, not a child centric home. 774 00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:29,520 And people 50 and above have the divorce rates doubled, 65 and of 775 00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:30,520 us tripled. Why? 776 00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:32,840 Because we've transitioned to a child centered culture. 777 00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:35,320 Kids leave the home. There's not a lot there. 778 00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:36,920 They're grieving the loss of their kids. 779 00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:39,440 Their lives ran around them and all of a sudden what do they 780 00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:40,800 got? Almost nothing. 781 00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:43,040 They have difficulty reconnecting and a lot of them 782 00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:44,960 end up gone. Just you don't want your 783 00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:47,400 marriage even real, your home, even really marriage centered 784 00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:49,920 marriage. You want a God centered home. 785 00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:53,680 So when our marriage transitioned from really tough 786 00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:55,840 to stable, Marilyn came to me and she said, Brett, I don't 787 00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:58,440 need you. I looked at her like I knew it 788 00:38:58,440 --> 00:38:59,560 was bad. Is it? 789 00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:02,840 But what's next? She goes, I want you to forgive 790 00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:03,760 me. That's what that says. 791 00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:05,600 I've been asking for you and only God can give me. 792 00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:09,760 She was my security, my hope, my joy, everything come from Christ 793 00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:12,560 and Christ alone. I'll be your godly wife and I'll 794 00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:14,200 enjoy you, but my hopes not in you. 795 00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:17,360 I love you, but I'm off your roller coaster. 796 00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:20,920 I'm no longer hitching my joy and happiness to your moods. 797 00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:25,480 So, so all of a sudden, when she wasn't relying marriage 798 00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:27,640 struggles because we asked for what it can deliver. 799 00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:29,480 I mean, we, it should make us happy. 800 00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:32,400 My, my goodness, it's supposed to make us feel happy, fun, 801 00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:34,520 romantic, pleasurable. It's supposed to be stable. 802 00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:36,160 It's supposed to be unpredictable, but it's supposed 803 00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:37,560 to be everything that it can't be. 804 00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:41,080 And then on the child centered piece, you know, when you, when 805 00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:44,080 you don't follow God's order for things, everything breaks down. 806 00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:47,240 You know, and marriage is the number one horizontal 807 00:39:47,240 --> 00:39:49,520 relationship. And when you slide children 808 00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:53,080 above the marriage, the marriage struggles and then ultimately 809 00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:56,040 the kids struggle more because they're the center of everything 810 00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:58,880 and they turn 19 let out of the home and nobody cares. 811 00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:03,440 It's a it's a tough adjustment. So, so I will say that being 812 00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:06,520 having a God centric home with the sufficiency of Christ 813 00:40:06,720 --> 00:40:10,600 primary where you focus on loving your bride and having a 814 00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:14,120 beautiful God centered marriage and your kids get to benefit 815 00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:16,840 from that. Missed some kids events. 816 00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:18,440 I didn't know I was allowed to do that. 817 00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:20,520 And I'd say, are you coming to my soccer game? 818 00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:22,520 Like, no, Mom and I are going to dinner and a movie. 819 00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:25,480 What? But I don't have to go to all 820 00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:27,960 their things. I mean, I go to most of them, 821 00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:32,240 but if I go to all their things, people complain about why I 822 00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:34,960 don't have that much time to go to Thrive and I'm so busy. 823 00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:39,080 We'll spend 8% of the amount of time you spend on kids sports 824 00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:40,920 and run your kid places on your marriage. 825 00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:44,760 It'll change your whole life. All right, he's preaching now, 826 00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:45,880 so. We're going to have to cut. 827 00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:47,480 You have to cut me off while I get going. 828 00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:50,720 You can get a lawyer to preacher going at the same time. 829 00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:51,960 It's ugly. No. 830 00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:55,000 I want to close with three words that I saw on your website that 831 00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,920 I think really epitomize this conversation. 832 00:40:57,920 --> 00:41:03,280 Trust, connection and joy. Trust, connection and joy. 833 00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:09,320 Using these resources to engage, developing that trust, trust 834 00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:11,720 with God, trust with one another, connecting over the 835 00:41:11,720 --> 00:41:14,600 smallest things of just even a date night and really finding 836 00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:16,680 that joy, Joy in God, joy in marriage. 837 00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:21,720 Would you pray for us, pray for our marriages here at Grace as 838 00:41:21,720 --> 00:41:24,520 we pray for just the work that you guys are doing? 839 00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:26,800 And we thank you for being here and thank you for your time. 840 00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:28,920 And yeah, it's been a real privilege. 841 00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:30,080 I think it's a privilege being here. 842 00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:33,640 Well, Lord. 1st, I thank you for Grace Church and I thank you for 843 00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:35,800 the massive impact it's having on so many. 844 00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:39,200 I thank you for their marriage ministry and for Jeremy and this 845 00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:42,400 whole crew here and put your blessings on them and put your 846 00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:45,120 favor on all the marriages. I pray that you would just 847 00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:47,840 ignite a fire of the heart that marriage would be held an honor 848 00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:51,600 among all, and then we'd be all part of that quest that we would 849 00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:53,760 be out loving each other and people would see it. 850 00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:58,120 Well, that's cool, that's cool. And then ultimately they'd want 851 00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:01,320 to know how is it you have that? That's the grace of Jesus and 852 00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:05,760 it's a revelation of his word. And the reason that I'm richly 853 00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:09,120 enjoying things so much is because I'm delighted in by God. 854 00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:11,440 Let me tell you. So I pray for grace. 855 00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:14,240 I pray for all their ministries. I pray for protection of their 856 00:42:14,240 --> 00:42:15,880 leaders. I pray for favor. 857 00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:18,920 I thank you for the massive different the church is having 858 00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:21,400 internationally, nationally and here in Greenville. 859 00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:22,760 In Jesus name, Amen.