1 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:09,120 City Post. What up? 2 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:13,280 We back here for another episode of Build Equip Send. 3 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:16,720 It's the title, the podcast, but most importantly, it's the 4 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:18,240 mission of the church and I'm here with. 5 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:20,160 Pastor Ricky, what's up everybody? 6 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:25,160 Hope you guys are doing great. Yeah, man, it's gonna be super 7 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:26,480 real, this one. Yeah. 8 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:29,920 There's one of the ones Holy Spirit is like, I man, I got to, 9 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,760 I got to sit you down and talk to you for a little bit. 10 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:34,760 Man, and I remember like asking you, I was like, man, So what 11 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:37,080 are you feeling today? Like what, what, what topic has 12 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,960 the Lord laid on your heart? And then you shot me this text 13 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:43,320 and I saw it and I was like, OK, I think this is yeah, like this 14 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:47,120 is something that is great. I think it's timely and. 15 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:48,760 And I'll be honest with you man, like I'm. 16 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:53,560 I'm passionate about this because this topic right here 17 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:57,520 that we're about to talk about has LED more people away from 18 00:00:57,520 --> 00:01:03,080 the Lord and more people away from their calling and has ah 19 00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:07,800 man, I don't want to say ruin lives, but I cause delays, self 20 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:10,440 sabotage, cause delays. Like a lot of stuff that we've 21 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:15,840 talked about all have stemmed just from like this topic right 22 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:18,120 here. So man, this is yeah. 23 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:22,440 So I'm glad that God put this on you to to talk about I. 24 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:25,040 Appreciate it, man. And just just to clarify, I'm 25 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,480 people. I'm people in every context he 26 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:30,480 just referred to. I've been all of those in 27 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:33,280 various seasons of my life, but I'm so thankful. 28 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:35,240 For Jesus, Grace. Come on, man. 29 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:36,080 That's right. Yeah, man. 30 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:38,640 Yeah. So the topic is today is 31 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,520 biblical pursuit of romantic relationships. 32 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:43,280 On Snap. Like, and what that looks like. 33 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:47,880 Just going to jump it off with a very honest question is how do I 34 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,080 steward my singleness well? Yeah. 35 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:52,160 And I think that's a great, I think that's a great place to 36 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:55,960 start because immediately when we talk about and I like that, 37 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:58,800 sorry I'm all over the place right now, but I love that you 38 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:02,880 said biblical pursuit of a romantic relationship. 39 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:08,039 I think that is a really mature way to say things and it all 40 00:02:08,039 --> 00:02:12,080 starts with you content with just you and God. 41 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:15,960 Like it has to start. I am pleased with where God has 42 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:20,840 me and you could be, you could have the desire to get married. 43 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:24,600 I mean, the Bible says like, like marriage is a great thing. 44 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:26,920 God created it. You could have a desire to be 45 00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:29,720 married and yet still be content in your singleness. 46 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:32,720 Like I know a lot of people think that it's either one or 47 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,320 the other. You know, you're single, then 48 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,960 you're mad because you're not married. 49 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,520 Or if you're mad, you're mad because you're not single, which 50 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:39,800 is something that Paul talks about. 51 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:45,600 But and also like, you know, in First Corinthians 7 verse 7, you 52 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,680 know, Paul even says he's like some people are called to be 53 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:51,520 single. Like God calls people not to be 54 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:54,200 married. And the reason is, is because 55 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:57,840 God has a specific will and purpose and plan for their life. 56 00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:01,840 And marriage would actually hinder that, that plan that God 57 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:04,320 has. But then he calls others to be 58 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:08,840 married it also. So the Lord is is doing this 59 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,800 singleness. I'm going to go ahead and say 60 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:15,560 it's a gift from the Lord. Singleness is a gift from God. 61 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,760 Now people are looking at me like, well, Rick, you're not 62 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:20,320 single, you're married. I said, yeah, but I remember 63 00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:23,120 when I was single. And now that I'm married, I look 64 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:26,960 back And if you think of like, your single days, like how you 65 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,920 could say yes to whatever because you don't have anybody 66 00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:33,560 to worry about, there's a specific type of freedom and 67 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,400 singleness. There's a contentment and 68 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:39,040 singleness. You know, like the older my 69 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,760 babies get, the harder it is for me to leave. 70 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,280 And when I'm single, I'm like, yeah, let's go. 71 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:46,200 I go on five mission trips this year. 72 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:51,480 You know, now I'm like juggling in my mind, like, OK, how I 73 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:53,120 could only be gone a certain amount. 74 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,000 And it's not because of my work. It's not because of what I want 75 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,480 to do. No, it's I'm a father and I miss 76 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:00,320 my kids and I want to be there for my kids. 77 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:06,080 So singleness is a gift from God and I think you could be single 78 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:08,240 and not lonely. A lot of people equate both. 79 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:10,960 Right, that's. Real, you know, like like you 80 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:14,440 could have and even I told I told people this all the time 81 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:19,279 because I really me personally, I don't think I don't think 82 00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:21,959 people should date like get in the serious relationships until 83 00:04:21,959 --> 00:04:26,120 they're in college. Like I try to discredit middle 84 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:29,000 school like, oh, is that your girlfriend? 85 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,760 Like no, don't do that. Like that's that's so dumb. 86 00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:35,000 And even high school, like when I see people, I'm like, like 87 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,280 when you go to college, like it's, it's going to go away. 88 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:41,520 And I, I know that's, that's mean, but you know, like you 89 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:45,120 grow so much as a person from the age, if you think of 90 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:49,480 adolescence for men, for guys, adolescence doesn't end like 91 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:51,920 it's, it's expanding. Adolescence doesn't end to like 92 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:56,160 the age of like 2526 now because it's, it's just been expanding, 93 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:59,280 it's been growing and it's starting earlier. 94 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:03,120 And then for, for women, I think it, it goes to about the age of 95 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:08,120 like 2118 to 21. So if you think about your, the 96 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:13,680 years that you develop the most and you mature the most and you 97 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:18,000 grow the most, you know, like those are like in your college 98 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:21,360 years, like your, your late, early, late 20s. 99 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:27,480 So if I'm 15 or 16 years old, like, why am I getting so deep 100 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:30,360 into a relationship when I'm going to change, you know? 101 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:33,600 Now don't get me wrong, I know some people like my high school 102 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:37,840 sweetheart, like I met your mom when I was 17. 103 00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:40,520 I was like, yeah, but coke used to be a nickel, you know what 104 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:43,640 I'm saying? Like back in the day, I paid 105 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:47,360 $0.90 for a gallon of gas. Like, things change. 106 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:50,200 Times change, the way people develop change, you know? 107 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:55,920 So I, I, so I say all that to defend my like, man, Ricky, 108 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,720 you're just wrong. I'm like, no, like it's just, 109 00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:03,120 it's true. So if singleness is a gift from 110 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:09,880 God, James 117, every good and perfect gift comes from above. 111 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:12,840 So singleness is a gift from God. 112 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:15,960 That means that it's one of God's perfect gifts. 113 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:20,720 It's not a curse, you know, and I think people need to steward 114 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:24,240 their singleness correctly. And you need to work on 115 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:26,880 yourself, get your future ready so you could take care of that 116 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:29,600 person, you know, because it's not just a walk in the park. 117 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:32,600 It's a great time to grow. It's a great time to try things. 118 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:36,360 It's a great time to get your, your, your career or whatever 119 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:39,720 you want to do to make a living, you know, like all those things. 120 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:43,440 This is the time to do it. And then as you're pursuing the 121 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:47,200 Lord, one day you're going to look up and there's going to be 122 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,400 somebody right next to you that's doing the same exact 123 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:53,240 thing pursuing the Lord. And you'll be like, what's up? 124 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:55,520 Like, oh, hey. It's a great reminder that you 125 00:06:55,520 --> 00:07:00,680 say that because I was listening back to our pod about being 126 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:03,920 equally yoked and you almost said the same thing verbatim. 127 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,440 Wow. About when you met Rach? 128 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:06,800 It's true. Man. 129 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:10,360 Because here's the thing, I'm, I'm just going to keep it all 130 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:15,640 the way real with you guys. You have no business being in a 131 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,560 relationship with somebody that doesn't know the Lord, right? 132 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,840 Especially if you're a believer, especially if you're a man of 133 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:24,760 God, especially if you have a specific calling on your life. 134 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:31,720 And whenever you say, you know what, she's hot, she might not 135 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:34,480 love Jesus like I do. And then you start making up 136 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:36,360 excuses. I mean, I've done it. 137 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:41,320 We're like in college, I caught interest of this one girl and 138 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:45,000 her family was real strong Catholicism. 139 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:49,320 And I remember we were having these conversations about the 140 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:54,120 future and she was telling me of the place she want to get 141 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:58,240 married and the priest she wanted and like, how was her 142 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:01,600 dream? And all I could think of in my 143 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:04,840 mind was like, this ain't going to fly with my family. 144 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,720 You know, like, like, no, I'm not doing all that. 145 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:12,800 You see, stuff like that. Like, I just believe that the 146 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:16,520 Bible is very clear, you know, like what does light have to do 147 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:20,000 with darkness? And I, I also believe that if 148 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:25,760 so, talking theology, if the Lord is sovereign, right? 149 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:30,440 Like if God is all sovereign and God is all knowing, and God's 150 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:35,760 will, ways and purposes are perfect for your life, why would 151 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:39,080 God send you somebody to contradict his will and calling? 152 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:46,080 It does not make sense, You know, like it doesn't, I don't 153 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:48,120 care how fine she is. It doesn't. 154 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,920 I don't care how lonely you are. It just doesn't make sense. 155 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:54,360 Yeah. Man, it's real tell you Holy 156 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,200 Spirit being like put on my neck today, bro. 157 00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:00,240 So what does that look like starting it? 158 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,960 Well, though, like, yeah, you know, I think for me personally, 159 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:07,240 and I'm trying to figure out the balance aspect of it, you know, 160 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:14,400 because serving more and I just I don't want a distraction to 161 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:18,720 come and hinder that in to be super real with preparing to go 162 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:24,720 to India, you know, into I want to be a be capable of being a 163 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:27,200 vessel for the Holy Spirit to use in pride, right. 164 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,400 Yeah, man. So I will say this, if she's a 165 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:32,320 woman of God, she's not a distraction. 166 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:35,800 She's actually an enhancement to what the Lord is doing in your 167 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:40,080 life. So if, if this this person is 168 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:44,720 coming in and, and y'all are not aligning with theology and how 169 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:48,360 you view things and the Lord, and then she's a distraction, 170 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:53,880 then that might not be either either she's you know, it's not 171 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,560 the one or the timing is not right. 172 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:01,320 And there still needs to be some maturity that needs to happen. 173 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:04,360 I'll give you a good example, man, a few years, a few years 174 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:08,120 ago when we went to India, there was a young man that was with us 175 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:14,720 and he was dating somebody for I think like 3 or 4 weeks at the 176 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:17,600 time. Girl Christian girl like and 177 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:18,760 they're actually married right now. 178 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:23,360 It was great. On the trip, one of the flight 179 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:27,360 attendants made a joke, like, we were chopping it up and we were 180 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:30,440 on Air Canada chopping it up in the back of the plane. 181 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:33,960 She's just asking about us. And, you know, Stefan's like, 182 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:36,560 yeah, this is. And then she got to this person 183 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,040 and he said the same thing. I have a girlfriend. 184 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:40,920 And then she goes, how old are you? 185 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:42,800 And he's like, I'm 21. And she's like, oh, that's not 186 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:46,200 going to last. But she said it jokingly. 187 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:50,360 That comment ruined the whole trip for this cat. 188 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:55,240 The rest of the trip, this dude was on his phone, he was not 189 00:10:55,240 --> 00:11:00,480 paying attention to the kids, he was isolating. 190 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:04,640 He was just constantly on his phone with quote UN quote 191 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:08,280 girlfriend and it was like he couldn't focus. 192 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:10,120 And that's a maturity issue right there. 193 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,200 You know what I mean? Like that's, that's not like 194 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:16,680 we've prayed up, raised all this money and you're going to let 1 195 00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:20,720 little tiny comment Jack up the whole entire trip? 196 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,280 It's back to that emotional regulation. 197 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:26,640 Hey, yeah, hey, we talked about that like yeah, you're right, 198 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,920 you know, and we're all looking at them like bro, like come on 199 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:33,680 man, this is like 7 days y'all go see each other, chill out. 200 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:38,960 But yeah, so I think it's a maturity thing and and you can't 201 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:42,200 let now if you know it's going to be a distraction, like you 202 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,720 know yourself, I know myself, then just wait. 203 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:49,160 This timing is not right and there ain't no harm being 204 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:51,160 friends. It is real. 205 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:54,880 I could talk to you on the phone and not be madly in love with 206 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,640 you. You know, like I got friends and 207 00:11:56,640 --> 00:12:00,040 that's OK to get to know people. Man, it's real. 208 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:01,640 Dang, bro. So. 209 00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:06,240 So back to the topic of a biblical pursuit in a romantic 210 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:08,200 relationship. How do we define that? 211 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:14,480 Man, I think it is. I think it is. 212 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:19,320 It's when the Lord opens your eyes to somebody, you want to 213 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:22,520 treat her in a way that is biblical, and then it's vice 214 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:25,160 versa. So if I'm talking to a girl, you 215 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,640 want to treat him in a way that's biblical. 216 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:33,240 So what does the Bible say, you know, about sexual purity, about 217 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:38,680 serving together, about intimacy, about not testing the 218 00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:42,720 lines, you know? So like, if I know that she's a 219 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:48,520 woman of God, I'm not going to try to put her in positions to 220 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:50,200 cause her to sin. That's real. 221 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:51,520 Yeah. Sheesh. 222 00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:53,760 So we're going to avoid that. Yeah. 223 00:12:54,840 --> 00:13:00,280 And it's just stuff like that, you know, like I if I know I 224 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:05,200 can't control myself, like if I know like I can't keep my hands 225 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:09,640 off of her, I'm not going to schedule movie and Netflix. 226 00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:13,360 We're going to go do some in public, you know, like, and I 227 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:17,240 know it sounds silly, but that that's what I'm talking about, 228 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:20,360 though, because like, I want to steward this so well. 229 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:23,200 I want this relationship to work, that I want to protect 230 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:24,960 you, you know, and protect myself, too. 231 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,600 Yeah. So I think that's what that 232 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:30,600 looks like, you know? And then, of course, friendship 233 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:33,240 is the foundation. Starting off as friends, slow, 234 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:36,800 get to know each other, get to know likes, dislikes, like man, 235 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:38,720 just take time. Take your time with it. 236 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:41,320 And as the relationship grows, I think the Lord's going to make 237 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:42,160 it evident. Yeah. 238 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:45,680 And then if she's a woman of God, then she knows Scripture 239 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:49,080 and she's going to understand her role in all this, you know? 240 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:54,600 That's a perfect segue into red flags, green flags. 241 00:13:57,120 --> 00:14:00,880 Let's play a game, girl, man. Yeah, you like, I'll give you 242 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:03,760 just before we jump into that, I want to get like a quick example 243 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:07,800 because I think, I think Rach, for me, Rach helped me. 244 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:12,360 I remember we were dating for a while, and as we started getting 245 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:15,280 more serious, I remember asking her. 246 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,560 I said, hey, I would love for you to come and think about it, 247 00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:21,400 Like, like, visit the church, maybe serve with me. 248 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:24,720 I know you're probably at another church right now, bro. 249 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,240 She didn't think twice. She said yeah. 250 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,600 And I remember I gave her a bilingual Bible. 251 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:31,560 I was like, hey, we go to Spanish church, and I work with 252 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:35,560 the youth there. But like she understood 253 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:38,760 spiritual leadership and that was one of her. 254 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,520 You could talk to her about it, but like she wanted somebody 255 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:45,760 that would lead well, you know which I, you know, we talked 256 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:50,200 about it later on. But so, yeah, so like that's 257 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:54,400 anyway just knowing how, how it all operates and works and stuff 258 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:56,280 like that. Like that's, yeah, that's it. 259 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:59,120 That's a woman of God. Right, and that's huge there, 260 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:04,640 Bros like you even bringing that that up in the the words chosen. 261 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:07,400 Like I've been going through this Bible study through the 262 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:10,240 book of Kings with my brother Jared and my nephew Nicholas. 263 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:15,200 And you know, towards the end of our or at the end of our last 264 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:17,920 Bible study on Friday, I was like, man, like, let's spend 265 00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:20,600 some time like all going before the Lord together and see what 266 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:23,920 he wants to speak to us, what he wants us to take away and apply 267 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:27,840 this week. And like, almost instantly, Holy 268 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:29,920 Spirit's like, lead better. Yeah. 269 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,120 Like you just got to lead better because I'd be tripping 270 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:32,960 sometimes. Yeah. 271 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:37,360 So like, like you saying that in I got to lead better in, you 272 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:40,160 know, that pursuit. I got to lead better in, in that 273 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:41,160 aspect too, man. So. 274 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,440 Yeah. And it goes back to what we 275 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:44,720 talked about. It's like the regulating the 276 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:50,040 emotions and that's part of leadership, you know, so it's 277 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:53,000 kind of putting the needs of everybody else before yourself 278 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,920 because even as a man, that's what God asks us to do in 279 00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:59,200 Ephesians 6, you know, like you lay your life down for your 280 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:03,600 wife. So that means she, her knee, 281 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,960 everything comes first. Like I come second. 282 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:09,840 So I can't, you can't be selfish and married. 283 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:12,560 It's impossible. So I can't say things like 284 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,160 that's just who I am. Too bad. 285 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:18,200 No, you, you regulate that. Like you have to fix that. 286 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,800 It was when I was talking to our brother Gavino man like and I 287 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:27,040 was just saying whenever, whenever Rach had lived, Elena 288 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:31,520 rage has always been around babies like adoption, parent, 289 00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:36,000 caseworker, comfortable, knows what to do and mothers have that 290 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:40,040 instinct anyway, Bro, I didn't know anything. 291 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,960 I didn't know how to change diapers. 292 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,760 I didn't know what to do. So a lot of it for me was 293 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:46,800 learning. Now I don't know nothing about 294 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:51,920 babies and kids so you don't see me saying that's not my thing 295 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:57,400 and walking away. But I do know how to serve my 296 00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:00,200 wife. So what do I do? 297 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:06,280 I ask her what to do and I say can I help with anything? 298 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:12,000 Hey, I don't know how to clean this tar, but right now I don't 299 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,800 know how to wash a bottle. I don't know how to make 300 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,599 formula. Can tell me what I need to do so 301 00:17:17,599 --> 00:17:19,520 that way I can help you see there. 302 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:22,280 You see the difference though, of like, I don't know, it's so 303 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:25,599 too bad that's on you versus I want to serve you well. 304 00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:29,240 And, and I think that's where people get it twisted. 305 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:33,480 So if you're not there, then you have no business wanting to get 306 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:34,600 married. You need to work. 307 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:38,000 You need some time. Man, it's. 308 00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:39,480 Hard. For real. 309 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:44,680 So you talked about red flags. I think the ultimate red flag is 310 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:48,040 not loving Jesus like you. I don't care if you go to 311 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:49,320 church. Everybody goes to church in 312 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:51,120 North Texas. I don't care if you've been 313 00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:52,800 church hurt. We've all been church hurt. 314 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:56,880 It has to supersede Jesus has to supersede everything. 315 00:17:56,920 --> 00:18:01,600 And, and I think whenever you're with somebody that doesn't have 316 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:05,720 that same love and drive and passion for the things of the 317 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:09,920 Lord, that's a massive red flag. That's not something that can, 318 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:13,080 this isn't missionary dating. That's not something that that 319 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,520 can be developed. That should be something that's 320 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:17,400 in there already. You know, that's a bar 321 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:21,000 missionary. Yeah, but. 322 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,480 They she don't know Christ, but I'm going to witness to her. 323 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,920 She will when I'm done. No, that's not true. 324 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,120 It actually has what I've noticed. 325 00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:32,280 It has the opposite effect. It actually pulls people away 326 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:35,280 from their faith instead of like bringing up the person that's 327 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,760 lost. So I'm just saying. 328 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:38,920 So I think that's a main red flag. 329 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:43,200 And then when we talk about the Bible doesn't talk about dating, 330 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:47,800 there's no passage that says thou shalt date this many years. 331 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:52,240 And no, but the Bible talks a lot about character. 332 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:56,440 And I like First Timothy 412, you know, and that's a, that's a 333 00:18:56,440 --> 00:19:00,840 passage that all of us know, but, and I'll just read it, it 334 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,840 says don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, 335 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:08,800 but set an example for the believers in speech, conduct, 336 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:15,640 love, faith and purity. So those five things must be 337 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:18,400 present in, in that person's character. 338 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:25,640 So the way they speak their faith, I'm I'm keeping 100. 339 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,960 The way they dress right says a lot. 340 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,160 I know it's hot outside, but I don't need your booty cheeks 341 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:34,840 hanging out like like like this true, like it's that's a 342 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:40,160 character issue because you know what you're doing and it goes 343 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:42,840 for guys too. It sounds weird saying that, but 344 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:48,320 but think about how they talk to people, how they treat people. 345 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:52,280 I think a red flag is when you go out to eat, the way that that 346 00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,400 person treats a waiter, A waitress, the way they talk to 347 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,880 their parents. I mean, these are all things 348 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,240 that you need to pay attention to, you know? 349 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:05,760 North Texas everybody go to church everybody claims that no 350 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:09,800 God have a relationship with God with the fruit is going to be is 351 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:14,720 like yeah that that really that one struck A chord there but say 352 00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:18,240 say you know someone that does love Jesus like me. 353 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:21,240 What are some? But how do we set and up hold 354 00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:23,160 clear boundaries to keep us on the right track? 355 00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:28,080 Yeah, and I think communication is, it's got to be key. 356 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:33,560 Communication's important, like sharing, like hey, these are the 357 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:38,160 things I struggle with and these are things that like I don't 358 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:41,760 want to get put into. So like if you're a person that 359 00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:46,280 struggles with lust, then you need to tell that person ahead 360 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,200 of time. Like I can't I don't want to 361 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:52,000 watch that movie because, you know, home girl has her boobs 362 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,720 all out and then I'm sitting next to you and this is not 363 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:55,680 going good. You know what I mean? 364 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,800 Like I think it's OK to be honest. 365 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,840 You have to be honest. Or like if you struggle with 366 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:04,160 alcohol, like, hey, I don't want to go there. 367 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:06,160 There's a bar that's going to be right in my face. 368 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:09,320 Or I know you like your martinis, but I just want to ask 369 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:13,080 right now, like if you could just get like a water because so 370 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,080 just, yeah, just having those honest conversations. 371 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:22,040 And I think that draws the line. And then also not being together 372 00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:26,160 alone, being together with other people, like staying in grooves, 373 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:29,120 hanging out with lots of people. Yeah. 374 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:33,480 I've noticed like a lot of relationships, when people like 375 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:37,640 start dating, they, they seclude themselves. 376 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:39,760 And those are the relationships that are not healthy. 377 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,920 But when you see a relationship that is healthy, that there's 378 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:47,200 joy in it, that the Lord is the center of it, you don't have 379 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:51,480 those insecurities of like pulling away or I don't say 380 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:53,680 leechiness. You know, I want to be careful 381 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:56,440 because I know some people like they might have some, you know, 382 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:57,640 they just want to be with somebody. 383 00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,240 That's fine. But when you don't want to be 384 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:03,000 around other people, there's a little that's that's there's a 385 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,880 little bit of a red flag there, OK, Like, why not? 386 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:07,120 Right. Jeez. 387 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:09,360 Yeah. What about like some yellow 388 00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:13,360 flag? Yellow flags she loved. 389 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:17,760 Jesus, but she she listens to Soldier Boy. 390 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,640 She loves Jesus, but she's a Drake fan. 391 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,960 No, I'm just joking. I just keep going. 392 00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:25,800 Yeah, man. What about like some like I know 393 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,160 you mentioned the passages from Timothy. 394 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:33,280 You know the characters there What a What are some biblical 395 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:35,480 green flags to? Look for and all that. 396 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,440 I think that's great. I think, you know, the book of 397 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:42,960 Proverbs talks about the heart. And in a nutshell, the book of 398 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:46,000 Proverbs pretty much says it doesn't matter what she looks 399 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,400 like. If her heart's beautiful, people 400 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:49,880 are going to find her attractive. 401 00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:52,880 It's not because of the physical appearance, it's because of her 402 00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:57,000 heart. But on the opposite, the Bible 403 00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:01,480 says a woman without discretion is like a gold ring and a pig 404 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:05,160 snout. You know what I mean? 405 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:12,160 So, so I think that the green flags are a character and a love 406 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:15,320 for Christ, how she treats people, how she treats others, 407 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:20,080 how she serves in the church, respectfulness, like like all 408 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:23,720 these things are are green flags. 409 00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:26,760 And notice I didn't say anything about looks yet. 410 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:32,080 I didn't say nothing about career stuff like that. 411 00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:35,240 But also Speaking of that, I think like somebody that is has 412 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,840 goals like stuff they wanna accomplish in life. 413 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:42,000 Those are great green flags. So, like the person that God 414 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,600 brings. I mean, they should make you a 415 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:47,240 better man, not a worse man. Yeah, there's so much in this. 416 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,840 Yeah, bro, yeah, I see right now. 417 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:53,600 But also remember like the purpose of marriage. 418 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:56,080 We talked about this in Genesis too. 419 00:23:56,600 --> 00:24:00,760 Illustration, sanctification, procreation. 420 00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:06,160 So if y'all together is not a good illustration of how Christ 421 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:10,280 loves the church or the bride, then it's probably not a good 422 00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:13,520 idea, you know, because that's where you're headed to right 423 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:14,760 now. Is it going to be perfect? 424 00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:17,240 No, nothing is. Our relationships will work. 425 00:24:17,360 --> 00:24:21,240 But those should be your guidelines, right? 426 00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:25,400 You know. It's the, it's the foundation it 427 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:28,360 should be on, you know, for it to, to be successful because 428 00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:31,040 there's so many toxic relationships that people like 429 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:34,840 just settle for. Yeah, and that, and that's the 430 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:38,320 thing, like we, we settle because we don't think we could 431 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:42,800 get better, you know, like, and I think that that's a an 432 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:47,760 identity issue and a self esteem issue because it's like, I can't 433 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,480 do better than this. So I'm going to put up with all 434 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:55,400 the garbage and I'm going to be a doormat and just take it 435 00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:58,760 because I don't think I could do better. 436 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,040 And God says something totally different, right? 437 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,240 So. So what does scripture say? 438 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:07,040 I mean, I know you mentioned, you know, like that, like what 439 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:11,320 is like identity like. Yeah, I mean, that all just 440 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,120 goes. I mean, we see it in Galatians 441 00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:15,720 and Ephesians. Paul's real clear about 442 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:18,640 adoption. You know, like, as we're talking 443 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:21,760 about the gospel, like you have like what Gary's talked about 444 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:26,240 and you have like justification and then you have adoption and 445 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:30,080 then you have glorification. You know, so it's like, like, 446 00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:34,280 like when you know that you belong to God and God's our 447 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:37,880 Father, and then we know the character of God. 448 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:41,600 God wants what's best for his kids and God has a plan for you 449 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:44,320 that's going to do all these amazing things. 450 00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:48,400 So so if you know that you belong to God and you know who 451 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:52,800 God is and you know the character of God, then you're 452 00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,000 going to recognize when something is not from him. 453 00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:01,160 You know, like, and I know that my father had wants what's best 454 00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:04,120 for me. So when it's not, then I'm going 455 00:26:04,120 --> 00:26:06,240 to be like God. I'm have to trust you on this 456 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,080 one. But this ain't it. 457 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:13,200 Like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm done. 458 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:18,400 This is my favorite segment. I feel like I'm getting charged 459 00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:22,600 up in the spirit God like this. Is what it is, man. 460 00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:25,960 Like, what's he saving you from, right? 461 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:27,920 Yeah, you. Know, and that thank you thank 462 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,640 you for that because, yeah, again, back to the emotional 463 00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:34,400 regulation like yeah, it's uncomfortable, you know, but 464 00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:40,560 like you're saying what I'm thankful that the Holy Spirit is 465 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:42,160 convicting me. I'm thankful that the Holy 466 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:46,080 Spirit is like I told you First off, like I told you, you're 467 00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:50,360 just being dumb like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 468 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:52,400 But now you want to make a whole podcast about it, so I'll 469 00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:54,040 charge. You up like that's how. 470 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:55,960 My relationship with the Lord Beasts of. 471 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,760 The Ray That's right. And then and then we got to have 472 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:02,400 an honest conversation too. And man, I'm have to go here 473 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:08,520 because so if, if you know, if you know that this person is not 474 00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:12,520 a believer, you know that this is not where you're supposed to 475 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:15,320 be. But yet on Sunday morning, 476 00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:18,600 you're up here like raising your hands, praising the Lord, all 477 00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:22,160 that stuff. Like, like there's a disconnect, 478 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:23,920 you know what I mean? Like there's a disconnect. 479 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,640 And I'm not saying that we have to be, don't, don't hear me 480 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:28,400 wrong. I'm not saying we have to be 481 00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:33,080 perfect and that we, but like the Lord has spoken. 482 00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:36,000 He's shown you have his word, you know, like we know. 483 00:27:37,360 --> 00:27:42,120 So like we have to, we, we, we have to trust them. 484 00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:45,480 And, and it's more than words. It's how you live your life. 485 00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:47,640 I mean, you just talked about like the banging of the fruit. 486 00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:53,800 So I that's, I know that's kind of a funky topic, but it's like 487 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:59,960 we talk is cheap, man. Like you have to be able to, 488 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:04,320 like I'm going to talk about on Sunday, you know, we're talking 489 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:09,440 about justification, Romans 5. And it's prove yourself. 490 00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,520 Like it talks about character, but it's proven character. 491 00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,640 Like that's the tense, That's the that's the verb in the text. 492 00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:19,640 So he's not talking about you saying you have character, Paul, 493 00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,000 saying that you have to show that you have character, you 494 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:26,000 know, And so it's, it's about showing the fruit that God is 495 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,400 producing in your life. Yeah. 496 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:32,360 Hey, that's real, man. That's. 497 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:34,400 Hard dude. Yeah. 498 00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:37,600 Man, I mean, even for myself, like these are these are things 499 00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:43,760 that I, I pray through and I ask myself as a pastor, like, am I 500 00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:46,440 showing, you know, like God, I'm saying I trust you, right? 501 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:51,120 What am I doing? You know, am I, am I putting my 502 00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:53,920 foot forward and my show and am I saying, OK, let's do it. 503 00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:55,680 Here's an opportunity. I'm going to jump in. 504 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:57,920 I have no idea what what it's going to produce, but we're 505 00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:00,120 going to go right. Sheesh. 506 00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:02,480 Yeah. Yeah, man. 507 00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:07,680 Well, let's go to this segment, bro. 508 00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:11,000 It's becoming my favorite segment. 509 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,320 We make T-shirts, Yeah, I'm telling you. 510 00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:15,680 Man, that's funny. My nephew literally asked me 511 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:17,080 yesterday. Bro, when are you going to make 512 00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:17,920 merch? I was. 513 00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:21,240 Like, I'm going to look into it. Yeah. 514 00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:26,400 Like, pastor homie, I told Rage I was like, I want that shirt. 515 00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:30,000 My pastor homie. That is the greatest thing ever. 516 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:34,160 Shut up bro. Yeah, man, but we're going to 517 00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:36,680 showcase my pastor homie, because he got bars. 518 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:40,520 So yeah, man, so on on this topic, what are what are like 519 00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:44,640 some gyms, some bars, some some wisdom you want to impart? 520 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:49,000 Man, I, you know, when we brought this up, so we talked 521 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:53,760 about stewarding singleness. And I think when you waste 522 00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:56,600 singleness, you end up in the wasteland of relationships. 523 00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:01,880 So it just trickles down because now you have wasted potential, 524 00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:05,520 you have wasted time, you have wasted money, and you're wasting 525 00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:09,080 your life in a wasteland of a relationship. 526 00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:12,320 Like, shit, what are we doing? And then you look up, you're 527 00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:14,680 like, what happened to those like years? 528 00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:17,520 You know, like, I could have been like doing all these things 529 00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:19,760 and I don't. And man, I hate when people use 530 00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:23,000 that as an excuse of like, yeah, but like, God allowed me to go 531 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,600 through that. And I was like, yes, things work 532 00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:29,880 out for the good of those who love him, but it was your bad 533 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:33,440 decision making that that led you down this path, you know, 534 00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:37,720 And but because we serve a God that restores and redeems when 535 00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:41,920 we repent, then he starts to work it for him, his good, you 536 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:46,640 know, but I think that if we don't steward or singleness well 537 00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:53,080 and we waste it, then we we just grab whatever comes our way, 538 00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:55,760 right? You know, it's like, Hey, you 539 00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:58,200 breathing. Hey, let's look up like, it's 540 00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:00,480 like you don't care. Oh, you ate this. 541 00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:02,120 It's cool. I'll do my thing on Sunday. 542 00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:03,600 You can do yours. But hey, you're cute. 543 00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:07,600 Like, like you end up compromising and you can't 544 00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:08,880 compromise. That's a good word. 545 00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:12,480 For it, yeah, compromising. You compromise, you're cute, you 546 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:17,040 give me attention, you hold my hand, you pick me up, you have 547 00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:21,000 money. You know, belief is it's not 548 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,680 that serious and we do that. I see it all the time. 549 00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:29,000 So I just think it starts and I'm glad you started. 550 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:33,600 It starts with being single, being content in the Lord, 551 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:39,120 having a good relationship with God, and then you wait on his 552 00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:42,840 timing. And what I always see, like, 553 00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:47,800 man, I see this time and time and time again, when you are 554 00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:52,560 serving the Lord, that's when he's like, OK, boom. 555 00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:56,520 It's never in like the wasteland. 556 00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:59,400 It's always why you're serving him. 557 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,600 Yeah. Look at Adam, man. 558 00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:04,400 What was Adam doing? Working, working. 559 00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:08,480 He wasn't just working. He was doing what God commanded 560 00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:09,840 him to do. His assignment. 561 00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:11,840 His. Assignment that God gave him. 562 00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:16,480 And as Adam is doing it, there was a desire in his heart 563 00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:18,160 because what does the Bible say? He looked around. 564 00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:21,920 He's like, man, like I feel like I should have somebody, you 565 00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:25,120 know, And I think that when you're serving the Lord and when 566 00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:29,240 you're, when you're obedient to him, there's going to be a 567 00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:32,840 desire that comes. And then that's when it's like, 568 00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:35,600 all right, Lord, like whatever you decide, I trust you. 569 00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:40,480 And then out of nowhere, you're going to look up and that 570 00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:45,200 person's going to be right there, you know, like, but he's 571 00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:46,920 got to serve and got to be faithful. 572 00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:49,080 Boom, boom, boom. Yeah. 573 00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:52,840 Yeah, huge word in that that I've always wrestled with 574 00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:56,600 because in my mind it's always had a negative connotation. 575 00:32:56,600 --> 00:33:01,000 It's content, content and the Lord like for my mind for so 576 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,440 long contentment like barely. You just gave up. 577 00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:04,760 Like you said, you know what I mean. 578 00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:09,560 I got you and to to but his nose like I'm at peace with where the 579 00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:10,760 Lord has me. I'm at. 580 00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:14,360 I have joy in serving him like that. 581 00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:18,400 That just registered that thought, yes, that's never made 582 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,360 sense to me to like this moment. Because even like when you look 583 00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:26,040 at how Paul uses in Philippians, Paul, Paul says it like I'm 584 00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,640 content in any situation. I've been hungry, I've been 585 00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:31,160 full, I've been poor, I've been taken care of. 586 00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:34,920 I I've slept on the road, I've slept in the house, but because 587 00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:37,720 of Christ, I'm content. So it's like you have to get to 588 00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:41,240 that place where you're like, you know what, single, whatever 589 00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:45,240 it is, girlfriend, whatever, whatever. 590 00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:48,200 I'm content with Jesus, you know, like I'm happy with him. 591 00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:51,680 And that's contentment. Yeah. 592 00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:55,560 So the I don't care is not on the side of Christ. 593 00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:58,960 The I don't care is I don't care about anything else because of 594 00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:02,280 Christ. Like everything else, who cares? 595 00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:08,800 I got Jesus. Blacked out. 596 00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:11,480 Hey man, that's the Holy Spirit bro. 597 00:34:11,679 --> 00:34:13,960 Yeah, it's true. You know, And I think when it 598 00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:18,639 comes to toxic traits, I think that the greatest toxic trait 599 00:34:18,639 --> 00:34:22,960 that that person should have is high standards and that they 600 00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:25,639 love Christ because some people, the world's going to see them 601 00:34:25,639 --> 00:34:28,239 and be like, man, now that you're too much like that's too 602 00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:32,560 like, like I was like, no, that's, that's great because you 603 00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:37,239 know your worth. That was right there, bro, 604 00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:40,040 Because that that's one I've, I've struggled with my whole 605 00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:42,679 life. And I feel like I'm finally 606 00:34:42,679 --> 00:34:50,040 getting to a, a place where I'm understanding like the the worst 607 00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:54,159 that God sees me in learning to take on that identity and 608 00:34:54,159 --> 00:34:58,360 regulate those emotions and, and fill in my mind with how he 609 00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:02,160 values me rather than how I see myself or how the world world 610 00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:03,800 devalues me or you know what I mean? 611 00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:04,520 Like, right. Yeah. 612 00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:06,080 Bro. Me. 613 00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:11,440 And you know, like, and I say that because like, even like 614 00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:15,120 with Rach, Rach always made me a better person. 615 00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:18,320 She always made me a better man. I'm, I'm laid back, bro. 616 00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:25,200 Like I'm satisfied very simply. Like, I don't need a lot to be 617 00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:29,080 happy. But rage would always, she 618 00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:33,200 didn't push with like, materialistic things. 619 00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:37,360 It was, man, you have so much more to give. 620 00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:40,200 And she would always encourage me. 621 00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:43,800 And I remember, like in ministry, I would come back and 622 00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:46,520 be like, Dang, I jacked that up. And she's like, hey, man, at 623 00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:48,240 least she did it. Like, keep going. 624 00:35:48,240 --> 00:35:52,920 And even like with seminary, when I felt called to get better 625 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:56,240 prepared for ministry, she like was she had my back. 626 00:35:56,240 --> 00:35:59,800 She's like, let's do it. And then she'd be like, I need 627 00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:01,520 to read your papers before you turn it in. 628 00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:05,920 And she'd take that red pen out. I'd get so mad. 629 00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:08,680 I was like, it's a 22 pager, man. 630 00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:10,160 You gonna mark it all up like that? 631 00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,800 And but it was because she cared. 632 00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:16,480 Like she made me better. So the times I wanted to quit, 633 00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:20,920 she was like, don't keep going. What do I need to do to help 634 00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:24,200 you? You see that that's that's what 635 00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:25,440 it should be. Yeah. 636 00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:29,800 And I think back to to Genesis. That's a helpmate. 637 00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:32,520 A helper. Yeah, Yeah, that's right. 638 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,000 That's that's right. That's a good point. 639 00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:36,600 Like I said, like God sent him a suitable helper. 640 00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:39,920 And I think that we missed the word suitable facts. 641 00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:43,680 Yeah, you're helping me, but that's not the help I need. 642 00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:45,200 Faxed. Yeah, man. 643 00:36:46,720 --> 00:36:49,600 Yeah, And I always go back to like, OK, like, I have a 644 00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:52,400 passion. When I met Rach, I had a passion 645 00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:54,880 for teenagers, ministry, the church. 646 00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:58,400 I love students. We had students at my house all 647 00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:01,440 the time watching UFC on my tiny little apartment. 648 00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:05,880 What if Rach hated students? What if she hated the church? 649 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:07,600 What if she didn't care? Me. 650 00:37:08,240 --> 00:37:10,760 Bro that would never work. That would be a mess. 651 00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:16,200 What if I was like, I feel called to pastor and she's like, 652 00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:19,440 all right, good luck. That ain't going to work. 653 00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:25,920 That's why I see these cats leaving ministry, because they 654 00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:28,880 don't think about the other half. 655 00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:30,960 This ain't A1 row, man. It's both. 656 00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:35,280 Y'all so. Hey. 657 00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:40,080 Yeah, dude. This will hurt bro, but but 658 00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:42,160 thank you man. And that's something I was 659 00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:46,920 talking to to my best friend J. He flew in from Nashville for 660 00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:52,640 for one of his college roommates wedding and we went to cane 661 00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:55,560 Sunday before he left like literally like on his way to the 662 00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:58,200 airport. And that's something is like, 663 00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:01,320 bro, like I know you're, you're doing all these things, like 664 00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:04,680 you're checking all these boxes, but like, you need discipleship. 665 00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,000 And like, like kind of charged him up a little bit. 666 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:08,640 And he said, he texted me this morning. 667 00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:10,200 He's like, man, like, thank you for that. 668 00:38:10,240 --> 00:38:12,160 That's good. You know, cuz he's, he's being 669 00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:14,280 more intentional. But I say, I like to say this, 670 00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:15,960 I'm gonna send this to him. Like JJ, this is what 671 00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:19,800 discipleship looks like, like this, like my pastor homie, like 672 00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:22,960 holding me accountable, calling me out, like, you know what I 673 00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:24,720 mean? That's discipleship leading me 674 00:38:24,720 --> 00:38:28,120 in and where I said I wanted to go and now I want to serve the 675 00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:29,720 Lord. Where Right, You know, like, 676 00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:31,880 yeah, man. So, so thank you for that, bro. 677 00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:34,600 Like this has probably been our most uncomfortable conversation 678 00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:37,000 for me, but I know it's going to be the one I grow the most from. 679 00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:39,400 That's good to know, man. And and that's one thing I want 680 00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:41,920 to make sure like people understand. 681 00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:46,520 It's not about a set of rules, you know, like discipleship 682 00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:49,960 should not be one person just being like, you can't do that. 683 00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:51,360 You can't do that. Why are you doing that? 684 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,120 That that's not it, bro. That's been a Pharisee. 685 00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:57,720 And the goal is for the other person to grow. 686 00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:00,360 And what does the Bible say about making disciples, right? 687 00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:02,960 Like teaching them everything that I've taught you. 688 00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:06,120 So all of this stuff is, is biblical. 689 00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:08,760 Like it's just, I'm just pulling it from the word. 690 00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:11,600 So it's not like when I was you're like, no, bro, I don't 691 00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,080 care about your experiences. Like we're different. 692 00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:19,280 I want to know what what God says And and then also I see the 693 00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:21,800 potential in you. I see where the Lord is leading 694 00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:26,840 you. I see what where he's like has 695 00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:29,360 his thumb on you. Like I could see it. 696 00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:34,320 So there's so I like to say like I could see your blind sides, 697 00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:37,760 you know, like your blinders. And I have people in my life 698 00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:43,080 that do the same thing for me, you know, humble over there. 699 00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:46,400 He sees blinders in my like, he'll like tell me things or 700 00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:50,360 call me out, like I'll ask him hard questions and he I know 701 00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:51,880 that he will tell me the truth, right? 702 00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:56,040 Like he and he does it because he loves me, right? 703 00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:58,760 You know what I mean? So you got to find people that 704 00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:00,720 have your best interests at heart. 705 00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:02,960 Now there's people that don't have your best interests at 706 00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:06,600 heart, unfortunately and and you and you can't go that deep with 707 00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:09,640 them, but if they have your best interests at heart. 708 00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:12,440 And you trust them and you're like, you know what, man? 709 00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:15,240 We're serving the Lord together, you know? 710 00:40:15,240 --> 00:40:16,880 So let. I'm going to listen. 711 00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:20,040 Yeah. So that's, that's real, man. 712 00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:21,480 That's just kind of what this is. 713 00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:26,840 Man, yeah, but that's not like that Holy Spirit beating me up 714 00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:28,000 today. I don't know if you got any 715 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:34,120 closing thoughts. Taking licks, man, I think my, 716 00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:39,800 my only, my only clothes is man, like I, I'm just trying to get 717 00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:43,360 my words right. You know, if, if the Holy 718 00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:47,320 Spirit's prompting you and this is and, and you feel something 719 00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:52,840 and you know, it's so much better to get out now, right? 720 00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:56,280 Instead of like, you know what? I'm I'm just going to pray a 721 00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:59,760 little bit more. No, say it like I said, save the 722 00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:01,600 heartbreak. Don't waste it. 723 00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:06,840 If you feel it just and just you know what, just cut it, dude. 724 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:10,520 Because if not, you're going to look down the the line and be 725 00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:14,680 like, man, I should have right? And then think about what God 726 00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:15,840 has for you. That part. 727 00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:20,040 And God's like, I have this amazing helper, this pert, but I 728 00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:23,720 can't because you're over here with this, you know? 729 00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:27,480 And it is, yeah. I'm just waiting for you. 730 00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:31,640 Yeah, bro. But yeah, when you feel that 731 00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:34,280 prompting, you got to jump. You got to just say, yeah, this 732 00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:36,800 ain't it, man. I've been there before and I've 733 00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:38,840 ignored it. I've had people tell me to my 734 00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:42,440 face and I still ignored it. And it was a disaster being 735 00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:43,960 honest. I appreciate that bro. 736 00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:46,800 I know, man. But yeah, but but at the same 737 00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:49,040 time too, like just want to encourage you. 738 00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:53,160 Like this is a great, it's good. Like this is good, you know, 739 00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:56,520 like, just keep going, you know, don't get down. 740 00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:58,120 You're just like, all right, thank you, Lord, just keep 741 00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:01,000 teaching me, keep telling me what I need to do, and I'm going 742 00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:03,680 to do it. That's real bro. 743 00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:05,080 Thank you. Yeah, man, that's cool. 744 00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:09,880 That's all I got, Yeah. Hope this one They hurt you as 745 00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:12,200 much as it hurt me. It encouraged me, but it it 746 00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:14,440 brought back some flashbacks, bro. 747 00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:17,520 No, it's good, man. And then, you know, one day 748 00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:20,320 you're going to be standing while your bride walks down that 749 00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:22,520 aisle and we're going to you're going to remember this combo. 750 00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:25,840 For real. Yeah, so you're going to thank 751 00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:27,160 the Lord. That part. 752 00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:30,840 Right on. Well I see posts we lay our way 753 00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:31,160 out. Peace.