Welcome to Gen. X-Files, the only podcast name
that that's exclusively about The X-Files.
I'm Angel and this is my first watch.
I'm Dash and this is my third watch.
And I'm Mel's, and this is also my third watch.
And if you're listening, I want to believe you're a friend.
And tonight, we're discovering the greasy diner photos really
are worth every penny. So we just watched Deep Throat,
the second episode of The X-Files, and this episode aired
on September 17th, 1993. What were you doing that day,
Mom? Still changing diapers?
It's going to be in that for a while.
Yeah, it's. Going to be there for a while.
Oh, man. And this was written by Chris
Carter and directed by Daniel Sakheim, who directed some
episodes of House and Game of Thrones.
And the show I think there was on Showtime called The
Americans. It's about like, I don't know,
Russians that are posing as Americans or something.
I think I saw something about that, like a trailer or
something. Yeah, but definitely we've all
seen some. Game of Thrones in house.
Even if it's just a meme or two. I've seen that one with the
dinosaurs in it. I mean Dragons.
I mean, I mean, Dragons are dinosaurs I guess.
If you think there ever really was Dragons, I suppose I don't
know if there was. If there was, they would have
been dinosaurs though, yeah. Well I mean pterodactyls are
like fucking Dragons without the fire breathing, right?
Yeah, I don't know was is there any creatures in the world that
actually do breathe fire of some sort?
No that lizard thing right are. You thinking about the Komodo
dragon because it's called the a dragon.
No, Maybe. There's nothing that can breathe
fire. I think there are like things
that can like, I mean shoot venom and stuff.
I don't. Know yeah, I know there's venom
pours in gas. Are we stupid friends?
Because I don't think that there's anything.
I don't know, there, there might.
I feel like there's probably some like obscure like bottom of
the ocean creature that spits fire out of its mouth and that's
how it lights up its way or some some weird crazy thing.
But overall, in the scheme of things, I don't think any
creatures breathe fire. Would you ever own an angler
fish mom? No, I don't know what that is
so. She immediately said no.
It's those. There was one in Finding Nemo.
It's those really ugly things. They have the sharp teeth and
they have the the. Light.
Yes. The little light hanging down
from their head. You.
Know what? I might just own it.
To say you do. Hey, come over and look at my
weird fish. It's a good conversation
starter. Yeah, look at this ugly ass fish
I got in this tank. But what's been keeping you guys
up at night? What have you been watching?
I have something my sister Gina got me to watch and it's called
Orphan Black. Oh, I've heard of.
That's a it's like a sci-fi thing, right?
Yes, it's got all kinds of genetic stuff in it and
experimental crap. Oh, we like that experimental
stuff. That's always fun.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I like experimental stuff. Experimental rock'n'roll.
Experimental drugs. Exactly.
Experimental Sleep. If you don't know what it is and
you get to experiment and try new things, that sounds awesome
to me. God, so just so you guys know,
we're just, I don't know what the fuck's going on.
We just all woke up. Yeah, we literally did.
We're we're wiping sleep out of our eyes right now.
Me and Melanie and my dad watched Sisu recently.
Have you seen those movies? Oh we watched the 1st and the
second one and holy shit. They're finished movies from
Finland, not like they're finished.
Well, they are finished as well. Yeah, they're complete.
They're completed motion pictures.
Yeah, they are. But it's it's just about
watching this old man take a licking and keep on ticking.
Oh yeah. He gets the shit beat out of.
Him, you see this man, you see more blood pour out of this man
than any normal person could keep going with like it's since.
And he just and he doesn't speak.
He just has these emotional faces that you just.
I was brought to tears from his facial acting.
Yeah. Especially in.
The second one, the ending, Oh my God.
And he doesn't speak. He says a few words in the first
movie, and then he doesn't speak at all in the second movie, and
he just violently kills these really, really horrible,
horrible Nazi people or Russian people.
Well, they're. Nazis in the 1st.
One, there's Nazis in the first one, there's bad Russians in the
second one, and he just viciously, viciously and
violently destroys all of them in Oh my God.
Really creative ways. Like I'm.
Trying to think of one that I could tell her it wouldn't be
like a crazy spoiler. The mine.
Well, yeah, but I think we told her the mine, didn't we?
We told her about. Did we tell you about when he
throws a mine at a dude? Yeah, I think we told you that
about that. I don't remember.
Anyway. Anyway, sidetracked.
Yes. What else have we been watching?
Well, we've been playing a lot of Battlefield still.
I think that did not change since the last time we've been
over here. We're up to like 700 hours into
Battlefield 6. Yeah.
That's a lot, yeah, we play a lot.
I love it so much. And we start playing a game
called Returnal, which is like a it's like a roguelike.
First person shooter, Third person, Third person it's.
Like a bullet hell roguelike. Mom doesn't know what these
words mean at all. They're all just words to her.
It's a genre video game. Yeah, it just means that just a
bunch of enemies are constantly coming at you with a bunch of
bullets and you're constantly having to shoot them.
There's a lot of shooting. And you die over and over again,
and you lose your progress a lot.
And you have to start over all the time, but that's the point.
Some stuff sticks and you get to use it later.
But a lot of the stuff you have to start over every time you
die. But you learn new things and you
gain like information that you would need for stuff and so it.
I kind of like explaining stuff to Mom that she might not know
about, and I definitely have something in this episode.
Then I'm going to show you, while we're talking about it,
that you're going to be like, oh, now I know a little bit more
of meme culture. Yeah, you.
Guys, you guys ready? Yeah, I'm ready.
Are we going to get into the episode?
We're going to get into it. All right.
So we open up near Ellen's Air Force Base in southwest Idaho.
There are a bunch of military guys swarming the house and you
see a woman come through and say I'm Missus Buddha Haas, I live
here or whatever. This is my house is.
Actually what she says and basically they they breached the
house and there is just a shivering man covered in rashes
with just underwear on just as tie wise.
Mom, would you have worn this? I would not have borne this but
I can tell y'all some information.
OK? I know for a fact that that rash
is not shingles, hives or rosacea because I've had all
three of them. It's not that she knew the jig
was freaking up. Right.
It looks it looks like acid burns or I don't necessarily
know what radiation. Burns look like it kind of looks
like. Radiation burns was my first
thought. Or like.
I went straight for the common stuff.
Oh well, it's 'cause I'm used. To well, no, but what you did,
what you did was smart. What you did was OK.
If I'm investigating this, though, I know it's not this, I
know it's that's actually what you do when you investigate is
you for all. So you have to mark out all
these things like if later on if someone says, oh, it must have
been eczema or whatever you had on your list, then you might.
No, no, no, I know what that is. It's not that.
There you go. And then right after we see this
man disheveled with a rash in his tighty whities.
With a very, very surprised look on his face.
We get one of the most timeless pieces of music in American
media. It's so ubiquitous that it's
considered like the spooky sound that kids are using in their Tik
Toks. Even the hip kids.
Yeah, literally Youtubers today that we watch like Jen ZZ,
Youtubers that we watch in commentary, videos in in like
videos about music, videos about conspiracy theories, videos
about politics, videos about anything.
I swear they're all like at least a couple times a day.
There's the sound. If anything is weird or creepy
or unexplained or just anything in that realm at all, they'll
use that sound in current videos.
It's so amazing. It's iconic.
We love hearing it. Every time we hear it, we're
like, oh, there's one. But we pick up in Washington DC
at a bar and Scully's looking over notes and Molder walks up
and asks to buy her a drink, even though it's 2:00 in the
afternoon. And then he says he has
something to show her. And I think they walk away and
it lingers on a guy at the bar who is well dressed.
And if he's like looking over his shoulder at them, like, OK,
who is this? Fellow yeah, like like he's he's
paying attention he's. Checking him out.
Yeah, he's kind of keeping an eye out, like, what are these
guys up to? And the camera focusing on him
kind of made that, yeah, obvious, too.
At their table, Mulder gives Scully the rundown on Colonel
Robert Buddha Haas. He was the test pilot at the at
the beginning who had the rash and everything.
He's a test pilot, OK. He had a psychotic break four
months ago and barricaded himself in his home, so I guess
it's four months after the the. First incident, Yeah, the the.
Cold open. Yeah.
And the M PS were called and he was removed and hospitalized.
And in that time, his wife couldn't get any information on
him. Couldn't contact him, couldn't
reach him in any way. They wouldn't give her any
information. And basically they don't know
anything. He's MI.
He's Mia. Yeah, but they, but they're, but
like they're not saying he's dead.
Yeah, they're like, are they? Are they clarifying that he's
alive? No, I don't think she's not
getting any information at. All OK, so she she thinks he
could be dead or just missing or they haven't.
Kind of weird because wouldn't they be like, oh he's fine, just
don't worry about it or something.
Yeah, you'd think their first instinct to like, help cover up
what's going on, whatever it may be, would be to say, oh, he's
fine, he's just contagious. So he.
Right, Exactly. Yeah, exactly.
I don't blame you, I do the same thing for you or you.
Yeah, yeah. I'll be busting up in there with
Guns of Kimbo like I'm freaking John Wick.
Like I need like, I get it. Like, I get like if there's
contagions or something and you have to be like, you know,
quarantined or whatever, but I need evidence.
I need like hardcore through a glass wall.
I want to see you looking at me. You want to see a picture of
them with today's paper? Yeah.
Back in the old days. But she's just like four months
with her kids. I don't know where my husband
is. They won't answer me.
Four months. Yeah, so you can see why she
called the FBI and. Afforded.
It as. A kidnap, two 2-3 days I'd be
busting in. Yeah, like I'd be like, OK,
y'all ain't telling me nothing I need.
I need to get something done. Mulder goes to point out that
since 1963 there have been 6 pilots that have been declared
missing in action from Ellen's Air Force Base and all the
military will say is that they knew the risks of flying
experimental aircraft. So I guess they think that they
blew up and the bodies were never recovered or something.
I'm not sure. Or like maybe the the
experimental aircraft were just not good.
So like as soon as they took off it crashed, or it failed and
maybe engines failed and blew up.
Maybe the, you know, all sorts of random things.
Happened in my notes, it says the rumors say they were shot
down by Russian in Russian airspace.
So I don't know. I guess that's in the episode.
Yeah, there's something about that in the background.
And since she came to them and said, hey, my husband's been
kidnapped or something. Molders been tracking the case
since it hit the desk in the Boise regional office, and last
week it was quietly buried with no investigation.
And so Molder thinks something weird is happening, but Scully
isn't sure. She's a skeptic.
Skeptical Scully, she. Really is.
She she doesn't believe she. Scully the skeptic and Molder,
the believer. I want to believe.
I want to take my leave, my
lady. There's.
The There's a good M word you could use there.
Molder the Melodramatic. Yeah, Molder the melodramatic
and Scully the skeptic. I like it.
Yeah. But God, I wrote, I wrote that
Mulder gets up to drain his big old hog and in the restroom he
is confronted by the well dressed eavesdropper from before
and the guy tells Mulder to leave the case alone.
Leave it alone. It's one of them.
Like he looks up and he's in the mirror.
Like it's almost like one of them horror movie scenes, but
Mulder's just like, oh, there's a random dude behind me.
It was up. And then the dudes just like
randomly like. The most mundane serial killer
ever. Right.
Hey man, I'm gonna kill you. And he's just like, you
shouldn't be doing this, this is dangerous, Mulder or whatever
the fuck he says. And he's just so random.
Yeah, he, he tells him the military ain't going to fuck
with an FBI investigation. Basically, he, Mulder asks what
his name is and he doesn't answer.
He just escapes. Well, he, he says he can help
Mulder and he knows about his work.
And then right then when he's telling him that he knows about
his work and what he's been doing and his crusade and
everything, a guy that has to, we assume, take a real fat shit
is at the door and he's like begging to get in and the the
well dressed man doesn't care at all.
Because he locked the door. Behind.
Yeah, He locked the door behind him.
OK, The man says he doesn't. It doesn't matter who he is,
that the important thing is that he's come to give Mulder advice
and he tells him that he and Scully are being exposed to
unnecessary risk and not to pursue it.
But Molder is going to be Molder, so.
Molder the Smolder. Smoldering molder.
So the guy turns to leave the well dressed man.
Not the well dressed man, we know that, but he is well
dressed and he is a man and. It's the only descriptor we have
for him right now is he's wearing my suit.
Yeah, Mulder tries to follow this well dressed individual out
the door, but he stopped by who I assume who I'm going to call
bowel movement man. And that's a naming convention
that you will come to understand later in the series when we get
to know a little more about some people and some organizations.
But they do a shimmy slide and Molder pops free.
But the man that was talking to him in the restroom is gone.
And it's, it's literally such a brief little, what did you call
it? What with their little dance?
Where you the shimmy slide? Shimmy slide where you, the
thing you do with people where you be like you go left and they
go left and you go right and they go right and you have to
like, oh, oh, Oh yeah, that thing.
John Dehart would be proud for all my bad movie enjoyers out
there who've seen Champagne and Bullets and survived.
Yeah, oh, my goodness. But yeah.
But it's, they're like touch. Their bodies are touching while
they do it. But it's it's so fast.
Where that man, when he comes out, my first thought was, why
didn't you look the other way? I can't see what's down that
hallway in that shot, but it totally looks like there's
another direction that he could have gone.
Mulder doesn't look left. OK.
OK, Yeah. He's like a like dogs.
They they say that dogs can't look up, which is total
bullshit, but it is true that Mulder can't look left.
Obviously. Yeah, obviously not.
Scully is looking at a newspaper and she's reading an article
about Ellen's Air Force Base. And reading the article it seems
like they were working on something to do with UFO
technology and stealth weaponry. But it's under a section called
Sightings written by C Carter. C Carter, Yeah.
Chris Carter the. The creator of the X.
Files. Oh, OK.
Yeah, and there's little. One day I will have to show you
a picture of him. His eyes are not level.
There is one eye that's up here and one eye that's down here.
I swear to God, it's the most uncanny thing.
Oh. Yeah, but I mean, he's an
amazing man. Don't get me.
Wrong. That's why he got into all this
mysterious. Do you want to show her a
picture real quick? That will be great for the five.
Let's see, we'll show you a picture.
Bum bum, bum. Not as bad as I thought it was
going to be. No, it's hard to find one where
you can really see it. Good.
I've got one eyebrow that does that.
That's a good one, yeah. One eye is totally lower than
the other. Let.
Me see. I feel like I'm drunk.
One eye. Oh.
Man, he's still. He's tilted, but the rest of his
body isn't. You know what?
That's why he sees the world in a different frame.
What the fuck am I trying to? Perspective.
No, not that was you owe me a color, not perspective, but
different light I guess is what I was trying to say.
Yeah. Really different.
Light perspective. Yeah, perspective anyway,
Scully. What do you?
Mean Scully calls Molder with the newspaper info, and Molder
can hear a clicking on the line. We all know what that means.
And he looks out his window and there's a Gray van parked
outside with a man sitting in it.
Mulder tells Scully that he doesn't want to talk about the
case on this line. Good idea really.
Right. I'm glad.
Do you know how many times we've seen people?
You know what it reminds me of the scene in Goodfellas.
They. Listen.
Oh yeah. Where he's looking, have you?
You've seen Goodfellas, right? Probably.
Gray Liotta, when he's all cracked out, he's looking up and
there's a helicopter. He's driving him, he's driving,
he's sweating, he's all coked up and he's looking up at the sky
for the helicopter I. Just looked, I just watched the
first Godfather from beginning. I still have never seen it's
like 3 hours long. I've seen like bits and pieces
of. I've seen the ending, I've seen
the beginning, I've seen the middle, but never at the same.
Time, but the other. Day You ever seen Scarface?
No, that's two hours and 48 minutes.
That's a long 1. You ever did you see that?
One battle after another. No, I don't.
Think so. You got to watch 1 battle after
another. It's so incredible.
We might come over. I don't know that's.
A. Do not forget that I have a
horrible memory. She does have a horrible memory.
But you know what? Almost every time you're
watching a movie, even if you've seen it before, it's like a
brand new movie until you get to the end, right?
I think we may come to find out that Mom might have been
subjected to the same thing that Molder is subjected to later in
this episode. Maybe.
I was abducted or somebody close to me.
Was all right, but the agents touched down in Idaho and go to
Mrs. Buddha Haas House. That's a hard name to say, man.
Buddha House. I just, I just think there
should be Buddhists. You know what I'm right when
they when you walk in, it should be there should be a bunch of
Buddha statues and they should say welcome to my Buddha house.
Yeah. But as they're walking up to a
door, a plane flies overhead and it's very loud, obviously,
'cause they're next to the they're in the there.
I mean, it's on the base, it's base apartments, right or.
Whatever base housing, yeah, it's not so it it's right next
to the house. It's like that.
There's a huge area that's considered the base.
Then there's like the base where the actual military is.
The rest of it's just like the housing and stuff.
It's kind of like a a sectioned off area that's like a city but
smaller. But they go inside and she tells
them about how two years ago Bob Buddahas developed a rash under
his arms and at first they thought it was because of a
reaction to paint stripper during renovations on their
house. But then his personality
changed. He began throwing things and
started acting strange once pouring fish food flakes on his
mill at a dinner party and he would yell at the kids and then
go into seizure like episodes. He never talked about his work
even before the problems. Yeah, well, but she knew it was
like top secret something. Yeah, 'cause I mean you.
You. I mean, he works on, he works at
the Air Force. Base and and she knows he's a
pilot. And what are fish flakes made
out of? Maybe there's a deficiency?
You know what the the word that she called, that's a good point
in the episode she called it by. Tetramel D.
'Cause we used to have a, we
used to have a story time, we used to have a fish tank and we
had a goldfish and we had some sucker fish and we had a couple
of some other type of fish, But there were two goldfish, 2
suckerfish and some other fish. And even though I fed the
goldfish every day, the one of the goldfish just ate all the
other fish except for one of the suckerfish.
He was like, you're going to work for me and all you other
motherfuckers are food. Yeah.
It was so you just goldfish don't normally do that.
Are you sure it was a goldfish? Yeah, we looked it up.
They do. Sometimes they can get
territorial and eat other fish or.
Something like that. I got tired of it, So what?
No other fish to be had in the tank, so I said.
You little SOB. I grabbed that fish up and I
took it out to the lake and I said survive out here.
Yeah, because I I figure he got 8.
Knowing that motherfucker, he might have conquered it out
there. He's still out there.
He's a big ass. Like what, 2020 year old
goldfish? Oh.
My God, as big as a shark or something now?
Or whale. OK.
And we had to take a drink break.
And Scully tells Missus Buddehas that the government cannot
withhold information. And Missus Buddehas doesn't even
know if her husband is still alive.
And she does tell them that Verla Mclennan's husband went
crazy, but he got to come home. Is that what your note was
about? Was that your note I?
Don't know because this is when they go to this other woman's
house and see this other woman's husband.
Yeah, my SO. That must be what you meant.
Here's what my note says. My note says the wife is worried
that the if the husband doesn't return, her son won't be able to
support the family. I don't remember that.
I think you might have inferred something and.
Then it says another woman's husband ate.
Yeah, he boots. He boots the house down.
He served. He served, yeah.
He did. He did serve.
He served in the military. Holy shit.
He was serving Rash and serving military.
That's crazy. Oh my God.
OK, so we cut to a man plucking hairs out of his head in a yard.
Scully talks to Verla McLennan, who looks on as her husband
does. The slowest haircut ever.
Oh my God, that's right. She's pulling one strand of hair
out at a time. Yeah, wait, when I said two
years, I said Bob Buddahas developed a rash under his.
I guess that was him. OK, Anyway, whatever he has
been, she says he's been this way for two years.
She was upset at first, but now she's just glad to have him
alive. Berla was never given an
explanation. She just assumes it's stress
related. Dang.
I've been there with stress though, so it can make you do
some crazy crap. And she says some stuff about
how they, they, he's in therapy and they help him and they're,
he, she's just so grateful. And then she's mad at, I can't
remember what she says to her, but she says something.
Why'd you bring the FBI to? My house or yeah, she's pissed
off at. Her, yeah, but.
They've given him therapy and treatment and everything.
Like y'all were saying, she is upset at Mrs. Buddhaus for
bringing the FBI to her house. See, that's why I got to work on
how the notes are given. Just for clarification, I did
write the notes a different way and then realized I wanted to
write them the way that I'm currently writing the episode.
So if it's a little jank, just know it's going to be fixed by
episode 3. Which is a really cool the first
real, actual monster of the week episode.
You ever watched that one yet? Have you?
No, OK. It's good, good.
All right outside Missus Buddhaus gives Scully a list of
numbers she's called 1000 times. And Scully thinks Missus
McLennan, Mr. McLennan is suffering from stereotypy, is
what she calls it stereotypy, which is found by stress and
found it, which is caused by stress and found in PO WS and
for some reason also in zoo animals for some reason.
It just, it just says something to do with like your, your, your
mind, your mind isn't connected to where it's supposed to be
anymore. I'll tell you something.
Stress like your your brains not functioning the way it used to
anymore. Disassociation.
Yeah, that's probably some relation.
I'll tell you something that pissed me off, friends, Molder
says. They're not zoo animals, they're
pilots. And this is Mulder committing
Ham the Astro Chimp erasure and I will not allow it.
I can't believe him. Ham the Astro Chimp is the first
monkey. They sit into space, this
bastard. He's a, he's a, he's a hero.
How dare he? Scully brings up the Aurora
project, which is a code name for a new Defense Department
surveillance project, and says that the Pentagon has been
testing sub orbital spycraft over the western US.
That all sounds like a bunch of BS bullshit cover up shit to me.
I don't know. Yeah, it's a bunch of word
salad. It's, it's, it's word salad that
makes you think, OK, that's not they're hiding something.
They're like, oh, this is this is all crazy.
Stuff. That's what they're flying, but
whatever. Yeah, OK, sure.
Whatever they can say to cover up what they're actually doing.
So someone named Colonel Kissel agrees to meet them.
But like a way later. Right, Yeah, like a week later,
but Molder says fuck that, we're going to his house.
We're doing it live. We're.
Going to show up anyway. Yeah, and they do.
And so they show up at his house and wait for him, and when he
arrives, he's dismissive and standoffish.
Slams door in their face, right. Yeah, Molder's like, why don't
you? Why won't you tell us anything?
And he says, why don't you get the hell out of my yard?
And I, I don't know, Mom, you have watched a couple of
documentaries about this person, but he reminded me for of Hugh
Hefner for some reason. Oh, like a younger Hugh Hefner,
because he, I mean, he wasn't that young, but he also wasn't
that old either. The man in the episode, He was
what, 50s? Hugh.
Hefner. Hugh Hefner was one of the most
smartest man in the way of supply, Supply and demand.
I I guess you could say he he. He saw demand and he supplied
it, basically. What you're saying?
There's a demand. People want to look at pretty
girls, man. That's the thing.
Whether or not he's a good person, I don't know, but he was
definitely a good business. How old was he when he died?
Like 94. OK, so like in the 90s, he would
have been even older than this man in this episode.
Yeah. OK, Yeah.
But while they're walking away from Colonel Kissel's house, a
reporter from the local paper comes up.
He says he's Paul Mossinger and he lives down the street from
Berlin McLennan. He asked them how the case is
going, which Mulder shuts down. Mulder then asked him if he's
seen any UFO since he lives in the area.
Paul says no. He thinks it's a bunch of
baloney. Yeah, he's not a believer.
Right. Mulder asked.
If he wanted to talk to one of those UFO believing suckers,
where might he go? So anyway, we're at the Flying
Saucer Diner. Yeah, so they, they, I like,
they do that a lot where they'll like they'll ask someone a
question about something and then, then, and then it cuts to
the next scene and they've all, they've already gotten the
answer and now they're doing the thing that the answer got them.
They do that a lot. It's like, I guess cut for time
a lot of the time. Why do you only need her to
explain where it's at I guess? It keeps the pace running
smoothly. Yeah, she would have been like,
Oh, well, you could go down to the Flying Saucer Diner down on
12th St. or whatever, but that you don't really need that.
There's a waitress there, and she's friendly and she makes
small talk about the she makes small talk about the constant
Sonic booms. And Molder points to a line of
photographs taped to the bar. And he asked who took them.
And she says lots of people, but the one on the end is when she
took herself. We zoom in on this picture and
friends, it is what appears to be a tortilla chip.
Not really. But yes, it does look like a
tortilla chip in. The triangle.
Yeah, it's a. It's a triangle black shape,
fuzzy in the sky with some trees.
You know what if you know how sometimes most, most Doritos are
like a little curled on the ends, but sometimes you'll get
that one that's really flat if you just go outside on a sunny
day and take a picture of that from the bottom.
That's the picture she has. Right, just put a green screen
on your hand and take a picture of the chip and back.
Green screen on your hand. How most rinky dink small town
diners have like maybe a celebrity went in there and
their pictures on the wall autograph or or the local
baseball team. Not this place they got UFOs.
That's what they're known for. One time Jerry the alien came
over and asked for a sandwich, but she was apparently taking
out the garbage in the back. Look, looked up and saw it
hovering, and she said for a minute I thought they were going
to land in the parking lot and I'd have to serve them lunch.
And she's selling prints, of course. 20 bucks a pop.
Mulder, unable to resist humiliating himself, buys one.
Scully leans in and whispers, sucker.
She leaves when Mulder asks where someone like him might be
able to see a UFO for himself. Molder gets a hand drawn map
from the waitress and heads out. By the way, this is a good time
to mention this. There was actually a tie into
this episode. This diner is actually a diner
down in Kansas where they filmed and they wanted to do something
for the, you know, the whole alien aspect of The X-Files.
So they actually found some meteor rocks that had fallen and
they started grinding that up and putting them on the
hamburgers and it started to give the kids really crazy
powers. Oh my God.
And so they were originally going to make a really cool
docudrama miniseries about it, but due to studio interference
it ended up becoming Smallville. Oh OK I get it.
The media rocks and they they turn the story around a little
bit. So have The X-Files created
Superman? Not Superman but the studio was
like this is perfect for Superman so they looped it in.
OK, OK, OK. They they created the the small
the origin story of Superman. Yeah, I I don't know if any of
those kids that ate those meteor dusted burgers die, but that's a
good. We should look into that.
One day for sure. One day.
Maybe they have laser vision? I have lead poisoning.
They probably got lead poison no matter what, but the agents pull
up next to a barbed wire fence, which I guess is where the map
LED them to, and Scully yells at Molder asking if they really
came out here to look for UFO UFOs.
Mulder is toddling along up a hill like a child.
Hilarious. Ray's just walking away.
He's like, I don't care about what you say, mom.
I'm going to go. I'm going to walk up this hill.
I don't care how hard it is. He's like, I see a cookie and I
want to eat it. And you don't mean to where,
where, where, where? The kid has to climb up a hill
and they have to kind of go on all fours a little bit.
They have to put their hands on. That's what he's doing.
Climb up this hill. I I guarantee when he's off
camera, Mulder does move around on all fours.
He strikes me as that kind of guy.
But it's night time now and Scully has fallen asleep in the
car. Suddenly the vehicle starts
rattling and the back windshield breaks and molder runs up.
Did he cause a seismic shift with his weirdness?
Right. I don't know, maybe that's what
he was walking up there to do, to do some kind of weird dance
that brought about a earthquake. I don't.
Know we also need to clarify that the beginning of the scene
when he was climbing up the hill, it was bright outside.
Now this current scene, it's completely black.
She gave up. She went to sleep, yeah.
I bet Mulder just stares up at the sky looking for UFOs like a
dog. When they hear something, they
just stare off into the middle distance.
Yeah, leave me. Like what did you hear, girl?
What did you hear? What do you smell?
There's nothing. Male UFOs.
It's. Like I smell a vibe in the air.
But he he, he runs up to the window and says, you got to see
this. And drags her ass out of that
car. Yeah, he.
Lies. Come on, motherfucker.
She had no chance to say no to that.
I don't want to see no more UFOs, grandpa.
And Mulder is like, too damn bad too.
Damn bad. She definitely doesn't want to
see UFOs because she definitely anyway.
Yes, Mulder and Scully. Mulder and Scully look into the
barbed wire facility. AS2 lights move back and forth,
chasing and escaping each other. Mulder says they've been at it
for half an hour. Like why didn't he come get her
as soon as I had? I guess he wanted to make sure
that it like he didn't want to miss anything, but when he
thought it was going on for long enough.
That's what I thought about too. It was like why, Why was he
watching for 1/2 hour before? He was like, you have to come
right now. Like he didn't have to.
I mean, obviously he wasn't in that much of a hurry.
But you know what these light show reminded me of?
You know those, I don't know what it's called.
And maybe one of you do you know those shows where the girls,
it'll be like on a stage and the girls will have, like, one or
two lights in each hand and they'll be dressed in like, all
black. And it's like a black stage.
They're doing. Yeah.
Like a rave. Not a rave.
There's like a performance thing that they do where they'll have
like 3 or 4 girls, they'll have like 1 light on each hand, one
light on each foot or something. And they'll do this, but you can
only see the lights and they do a stage performance and there's
it's cold a thing I was. Just saying that's why I was
having a big old giant one. Attacking A50 foot rave woman.
No, but that's what it reminded me of.
Is that where do they have the light?
Shows that do that. Have you ever seen what we're
talking about, where people will have the glove?
Yeah, I've been to club where they actually do that with
rainbow light. Yeah, we've never been to them
all. We've just seen it.
We're not club people. Back in the day I used to go to
clubs. She used to be a different
person back in the day. We'll have to get into one of
those stories one day. Oh God.
But Collie thinks it might be lasers from the ground reflect,
reflecting off the cloud layer. She is just every time there's
something crazy in front of her she comes up with Oh well it's
there's a logical explanation. Shut the fuck up, you don't
know. Molder says obviously it's 100
foot woman doing a light show. Collie, shut up.
It's so crazy how she immediately just disregards it
or comes up with something she is in all.
She can rationalize. It Yeah.
She isn't all staring up, though.
She is like whoa. But they watch in awe as the two
lights rise out of the frame and a helicopter with a spotlight
approaches them and two people run out from under a broken
piece of barbed wire fence. The agents run down the hill
after them. Molder and Scully catch up to
the pair and turn in. What?
Molder and Scully catch up to the pair and they turn around
shouting Don't shoot. The four of them end up hiding
under a tree. The long haired guy says.
Whoa. Extreme.
So wait, wait, wait, wait. You said they crawled out from
the fence, but from when? When we just, I swear they just
seems like they crawled out from the Bush.
You didn't know there was a broken fence there?
Yeah, it must have been the Bush.
I think you're right. I think I'm right because later
you learn that it is a broken fence.
But I think in this particular scene it just looks like they
were hiding under the Bush, 2 feet from Mulder and Scully's
car, by the way, right next to it, which I thought was crazy.
And now we have our introduction to.
So they take them to a diner where they grub down and we can
clearly see that. Holy fuck that Seth Green in the
second episode of The X-Files. Yes, this, this, this young,
short, very long haired Stoner Seth Green character.
And now you could tell immediately it's him when you
first see him. But then when they start talking
to the diner, you you, you definitely know that even.
My forgetful ass knows who he is.
Yeah, you recognize him and I got he is so short.
Have you ever watched Robot Chicken?
No, I didn't think so. Random.
It's a claymation Adult Swim show.
So it's not something you'd watch, I don't think.
All right, but. S Green first what do?
What do you call it? Your first guest *.
First, yeah, guest. Star.
Well, he wasn't anybody. Back then, yeah.
He's just he's just a random character who became.
Like for instance, in the later episode Lucy Liu is on The
X-Files and it's like in two the year 1998 or something before
she ever or 1997. Even it's like two or three
years before Charlie's Angels. Yeah, it's like 5 years before
Charlie's Angels. Yeah, but anyway, so Scully
asked them what they were doing out there, and apparently they
have a spot. And I imagine this is for either
getting higher as fuck or making out or both.
Yeah, some combination of both, probably.
The way they describe it, the way he says like, well, you
know, we just sit out there and listen to music.
It sounds like he's being sarcastic.
Like, yeah, that's all we're doing.
So they're either doing sex stuff or they're doing drug
stuff or both or both. Exactly.
Probably, but this is the first time that they've been chased
out of there since their friend showed them the hole in the
fence a year ago. And in that time they've seen
them drop bombs and they tell them about yellow base, which is
something they've overheard, I guess, where they store top
secret stuff. And their friend told them
there's tons of landmines and stuff out there.
And a junkyard or something, right?
Yeah, and outside we see a vehicle pull up and a man in
covered in shadow radios into someone that he has their
position. The voice on the radio says
they're opening up the cage and tells him to come back.
He says red bird out. Red Bird.
Out red. Bird out.
It's such a strange conversation.
I don't it doesn't make any sense.
Red bird out, brother. All.
Right. But back inside, Seth Green is
using a burger to represent strange aircraft as he describes
it. Motor asked him what he thinks
it was. He says he doesn't think it was
a UFO. He thinks it was some sort of
Star Wars Cybertech, newfangled hardware.
They're getting ready for Desert Storm 2.
They're probably going to cruise it right over to Saddam's house.
And he'd be like, what? Like this is the most what's
what's the character from? What's Sean Penn's character?
Oh fuck. From Spicauli.
Jeff Spicauli. Jeff Spicauli.
I thought you were going to say Slater, Adam, Rory Cochran's
character from Amazed and confused.
Yeah, that that's true. It's the most typical like, like
stone, like 70s long hair, hippie stone, gnarly dude.
He just he it's that it's a very typical character, but he does
it. He does it really good.
And this is this, I don't know Seth Green's, you know, history
of when he did stuff. I don't think he was anybody.
He just got happened to be good at doing that voice and chose
him for that part. Yeah.
And he got lucky and this. He might play stoned
convincingly I think is what it was.
Yeah, and this might be with our first because I think this
happens quite a few times throughout the series.
This might be our first non celebrity extra who ends up
becoming a celeb it. Definitely is.
Because I don't think he was famous at all.
There's. Nobody going to say I don't know
how far apart this episode is from when he becomes Doctor
Evils son, but he don't look, he looks the exact.
Same. No, he's, he's.
I looked it up. He's.
I think he's an alien there. You go.
He's 20 here. Oh my God, Mom, you figured it
out. His name is Seth Green because
he's an alien. Oh, that's right, that's right.
Holy shit, it's all coming together.
And he's only he's only 20 here and he's 5/4.
His hair is almost as long as he is.
Him and Kendrick Lamar, same height.
Molder holds up the picture from the waitress and says does it
look anything like this? And Seth says no, it looks
exactly like that. Oh my.
God that's so annoying. You an idiot in the daytime.
OK, wait, so it was it was night when they were at the diner,
right? Yeah, it was getting to be
morning. OK, because they opened up at a
hotel room. Yeah, I think.
Did they all get a hotel room together?
Seth Green's like, I'll take the floor man.
You might if I smoke a joint. If he went home or something, I
don't. Know it opens up in the hotel
room because he drops. I think if I'm not mistaken, I
believe there. Is no, it doesn't.
I'm sorry. It doesn't open up in a hotel
room. It just opens up in the daytime
and he's dropping them off. So I was like, did they get a
hotel room? I think, and I could be wrong,
we might could check later, but I think there is a time stamp
thingy when they're sitting in the diner before they start
talking about what the aircraft is.
It says it's like 5 O 8:00 AM OK or something like like it's
still dark memory. It's still dark.
I could be wrong about the time, but it's still dark.
But it's going to be, like, very soon.
Yeah. It's mornings like, and they got
there before it was dark the night before, so they spent all
night, all night there. You've got where you are.
Yeah. OK.
So he helps him unload his moped out of the trunk and you know
they say their goodbyes and Mulder gets in the car and pops
in a tape that he says is evidence and starts to rock out.
Scully stops that shit and asked him if he saw their eyes.
She she says if she were that stoned and Molder cuts her off
with a genuine interest in what she would be like if she were
stoned. I can't imagine it.
She would probably just be really calm and quiet and
observing everything from a corner.
Yeah, well, well, maybe we'll see.
Well, maybe we'll see some different versions of Scully
throughout the years, if any. Drugs.
Happen. We definitely will see some
different versions of Scully, but he says she could have shown
them a flying hamburger and he would have told him that's
exactly what he saw. Mulder shows Scully old UFO
photos of the Roswell crash. Ellen's Air Force Base is
supposedly one of the six places parts from that crash got
shipped, and he thinks these pilots have been flying planes
made of those UFO parts. And Scully tries not to laugh at
him here. Is this where she gives him that
smile I was talking about in the car?
I think so. So she does this thing, I don't
know if you'll if I tell you about it, you might notice it
later where Mulder will be talking about what he thinks is
happening. And it's like the craziest shit,
right. Do you ever have like when you
hear like a two or three-year old tell you something and
you're like, yeah, that's so sweet.
Yeah. You give him that smile that
you're just like, OK, sure. That's what she does to Mulder
all the time because he's like, yeah, there's aliens, there's a
conspiracy. And she's like, OK, Mulder.
I'm not fine. So Scully looks at the UFO
pictures from Roswell and the pictures of the UFO that the
waitress took and she says these things.
I mean they're all she sees is 2 blurry tortilla chips and Molder
gets defensive and he says tell me there isn't a remarkable
resemblance between these two salt dusted fried corn pieces.
Molder says tell me I'm crazy and Scully does.
I have a feeling this is going to be a thing at a hotel.
Molder is staring at the waitress UFO picture and
stroking it with deep longing in his eyes.
He's always there. There's two things that happen,
and I swear, hold on, hold on. OK.
OK, he's staring at it and stroking it with deep longing in
his eyes. And this is hit.
This is basically Molder's version of The Wolverine meme
with the Scott Summers and Jean Grey wedding picture or whatever
it is. Do you want to show Mom?
Yeah. You don't know what I'm talking
about, do you? I have.
No. You're about to see.
Show her a gift of it. OK.
Hold on, hold on real time we're.
Doing it real time, you'll see. Is this it right here?
There's one. So it it's it's like he's
looking at a picture and people put different stuff in the
picture, but it's Wolverine looking at the picture in his
bed. Sad and.
That's how Mulder's looking at this brainy ass photograph of a
tortilla chip that this waitress took at the back when she was
taking out garbage. Yeah, people add different
pictures to it. Is that Michael Jordan crying?
It was a Michael Jordan. Or is it?
It's Michael Jordan. Yeah.
And yeah, people who have the different pictures there.
Anyway. It's very funny this is what he
does though is he stares longingly at pictures of UFO.
But Scully rushes in to tell Mulder that Missus Buddha has
has contacted them about her husband finally getting home
last night. Oh, surprise, surprise.
The crew pulls up to the Buddha Haas bungalow, but Miss Misses
Buddha Haas is crying. She shows them the Colonel and
says that is not my husband. OK, here's another meme.
Here's another Mom meme Corner. Do you know that that
motherfucker back there is not real?
No. Show her that you guys.
Show her real time again. You look it up, OK?
I have to adjust my seat. OK, I don't get too, but I am
telling you right out, that mother, that mother back there
is not real. She is look, she is absolutely
like like convinced that someone on this plane is not a real
person or not a real something. I don't.
Anyway, that's what Missus Buddha is saying.
She's saying that motherfucker back there is not my husband.
And she's crying but what? I don't understand.
I'm pretty sure the only thing she says through the whole
conversation is tears, and that's not my husband.
She doesn't explain why. She, she just knows.
I mean, you would know. She would know, I would.
Know. But anyway, the colder is
bewildered by the colder. The Colonel is bewildered by his
wife. Mulder introduces himself and
tells him why he's why they're there and Judah Haas tells
Mulder he's been in an on base hospital for four months and
Mulder asked him some questions to conform his identity.
Birthday kids names Green Bay stuff, Green Bay Packers.
Stuff. And then he asked him a really
specific question about aircrafts.
Like a 4G8G type if it's possible or something.
And the Colonel just shorts out. He can't pull the information up
to the front of his, you know he can't pull it out.
He just like, like it's just not there.
Like he just blank. Yeah, and he stands up and
approaches his wife and she cowers away and they leave.
After that I don't know what happened.
Right, like. I guess she's.
Like that motherfucker is not real.
And they're like, OK, see you later.
We got to go. You got some snacks in your
fridge anyway, I, I just, I think of molder like a kid who
would be like, oh, you got games on your phone, you got snacks in
your fridge. He.
Has like a little can I say? Some pretzels with me.
Yeah, that's what I would say, right?
But Molder thinks that they did something to Buddha Haas's
brain, and Scully says it might be amnesia because there's
nothing that could do what Molder is suggesting they did to
him, which is like wipe his brain or whatever.
Scientific. Like specific?
I'm pretty sure there's technology to like you can
destroy someones brain in all their memories.
The Man in Black. Yeah, with the neuralized that
they neuralized them. But like that's The thing is
they're supposedly just like just erasing his knowledge of
aircraft and pilot and experimental military stuff.
That's the only thing he knows his kids names he remembers,
like their births and all that. I.
Was like how the hell could they be that specific with what they
removed from his memory? Yeah, that's not, that's crazy.
But like she said, the men in black.
Yeah. It's just, however, a minute
long. The last two minutes, last four.
Minutes and he thinks that maybe they did this because of when
Buddha has had his psychotic episode the government couldn't
trust him basically. Yeah.
So. Because you never know what
someone's going to, how they're going to, how much they're going
to spill the beans when they're not themselves.
So as they're driving, 2 cars appear on the road blocking them
and they box them in and a bunch of men in black actually
actually they exit out like it's a freaking clown car and they
order Molder and Scully out and they manhandle Molder like he
was eating a succulent Chinese meal.
Oh my God, do. You know that?
No. Gentlemen, this is the Bakrasi
manifest. What is the charge?
Eating a meal. A succulent Chinese meal.
The Bakrasi manifest. And he didn't appreciate the way
he was handled. See that chip over there?
Get your hand off my. Penis he's.
Got his hand on my penis. So the succulent Chinese meal
thing is a hugely popular everybody knows what that is
thing. And The funny thing is, is that
go ahead, get, go ahead. Oh, is it that guy?
He didn't do anything. He was the wrong guy.
They really just found this dude in this restaurant and thought
he was someone else and fucking arrested him in the middle of
his succulent Chinese meal he was just doing.
He ended up being a character. And the original video is like
the 90s, yeah, the early mid 90s around this time.
Yeah, but I hope they pick you know what?
Right. They might have, they might have
been influenced by this. Like we're going to give them a
succulent Chinese meal. We're going to give them a
succulent Chinese molder. Oh, I don't know if that's
something about that feels really wrong in a few ways.
Scratch that out, I'll take that out.
Oh. My goodness.
But anyway, they ransacked the vehicle, taking evidence,
unloading the firearms that the agents have, and telling them in
no uncertain terms they got to get the fuck out.
They like, RIP up their papers, dump all their stuff on the
ground, regular bully asshole stuff.
Fucking I thought we had litter laws in this country.
Yeah, they're littering all over the road, but they're told to
pack town and leave. They're told to pack up and
leave town immediately. Pack town and leave, yeah?
They're going to pack this whole fucking town up.
Fuck Peyton the town red. Just pack it up.
Pack the town in anyway. At the hotel, Molder posits that
maybe that helicopter from last night was meant to scare them
off, not those Stoner kids, which.
Obviously. Damn right.
Just now figuring that out. Molder.
Mulder finally tells Scully about the unnamed man from the
bathroom in the DC bar. Which sounds like a very
different story than what it is. Well, you said that well.
This is before Grinder but anyway, how he told Mulder not
to take the case and how his phone was being tapped and he
thinks all of this is a huge conspiracy to hide the fact that
they have a UFO here. And and.
Scully's like, well, that would be a national scandal, and then
Mulder's like, no, you silly goose, that would be the
confirmation of extra terrestrials get with the
program. Wouldn't that be a national
scandal? That would be an international
scandal. OK, but still, yeah, she's not
wrong. She's not.
She's not wrong at all. He's just being an ass.
No, it's extraterrestrials. And Molder hands her the picture
of the flying tortilla chip after she says they should just
leave while they still have jobs and asked her if she's not even
a little curious. And then he solemnly saunters
off to go wash up and pack. But fuck that.
Molder has gone Molder mode. He gets in the car and drives
off, leaving Scully yelling after him in the parking lot.
He says he's going to go shower, but he fibbed.
I know she does. She does the molder.
Well, she screams his name. Yeah.
Molder. Yeah, she does the Kelly Molder.
It makes me wonder if at a certain point they just used
previous recordings and were doing that every time she had to
do it in the shows. I hope not to do it all the time
because I sort of sounds exactly the same every time she does it.
But we catch back up with the Stoner kids he's met back up
with them and they lead them to the hole in the fence and they
hang back as they've got. They've only got.
Oh, yeah, no, it wasn't a push. It was a hole in the fence
because they were up on a hill watching and they came out from
underneath the hole. Yeah, but there's a Bush like
the there's a fence like where the fence meets the pole in the
middle. The Bush is literally growing
like this. So it's half covering that
little flap. They probably did come through
that flap in the beginning, but I think it just because it was
dark, it just kind of looked like they came from under the
Bush. You couldn't really tell there
was a flap. Why did he need them to show him
where the hole was? He was on that hill.
He got there by himself the other night before.
He didn't need these. Why?
Because he didn't know there was a hole there.
He thought they just were hiding in a Bush.
Maybe. Maybe you're right.
Because the Bush hides. Or maybe.
They wanted to get more out of Seth Green.
Yeah, right. They needed to use them a little
more. His his gnarly dude.
Yeah, that's so good. It's so good.
But Molder is full Molder mode now.
He doesn't give a shit about their warnings and he walks off.
And then they wonder if they forgot to tell him about land
mines. They haven't.
Technically they told him about that earlier.
You. Said that earlier at the
restaurant. I don't think at the restaurant
they mentioned the land mines. Even before when I wrote my
notes it I wrote that they're told about it.
He tells they tell him not to go past the tall weed.
Yeah, they'd be smoking some tall weed.
Right back then I probably bet it was probably good homegrown
stuff too. Mulder walks for a while and
then he decides to wait for night time and when it comes he
finds himself on a tarmac suddenly with something flying
at him. It slows to a hover above him,
it's triangular. It does some strobing at him and
then flies away very fast. Very interesting tortilla chip.
Yeah, they come with LEDs now. The Rave chip.
Behind him as he looks on after the craft, 2 vehicles approach.
One has Reds and Blues on and he turns and sees them and sprints
away. This motherfucker can run.
We were talking about that. He's, he's running so fucking
hard. It's running from the side angle
where you see him like you see like his upper body, and he's
running fast. And they have that shot.
It looks like he's running so fast.
And then they cut to where the cars are behind him, chasing
him, and you can see his whole body running and it just doesn't
like he's running that fast. It's like he already slowed
down. But they they surround him and
take him to the ground and me and Mel thought this was really
funny. He's like whenever they were
around him, he's like, like, where are you going?
It's like when a dog tries to escape but it knows it can't and
gets gets picked up. And they like you just do that
like back and forth, don't know. But it's like when the cars
stopped, he he stopped and let them surround him and then he
did dodge left and right to try to avoid it.
What are you doing? It overtook him like it was in
front of him and there was another behind him.
I know I just as soon as they would have stopped he should
have just peaked left or right and ran straight fast.
Maybe had a chance I don't know but haven't.
But if you turn left, right, I. Can't dodge?
Him but they they put him on a stretcher and load him into the
back of one of the vehicles and drive off and in the vehicle he
strapped down and they give them something through an injection
and put an oxygen mask on them. And Scully is calling around
back at the hotel trying to find out where he is and what's going
on, but her signal keeps getting interrupted.
Even the hotel office phone is down.
The court says it might have been military interference, but.
Apparently everything is military interference in this
town. Yeah, and.
Scully's about to lose. It Scully's getting mad, she's
like, where the fuck is Mulder? We see Mulder being unloaded
from a vehicle. He's in a warehouse with men in
white coats walking around doing things.
He sees spaceship shaped objects behind opaque tarps.
It's a very, very typical, like white, like not necessarily
hospital, but like the typical thing you see in like science
experiment related movies. All white doctors are not, they
probably were, but the whole building is all white and
there's just doctors wearing all white.
Everything is fucking white and everything, the lights.
It's crazy. I hate, I hate.
It's such a very sterile environment, you know?
Yeah, it really is. But Scully heads back to her
room and the reporter from before is there.
He says he was looking for but he's acting suspicious.
She hears a voice on a radio say something about Red Bird.
It's coming from the guy's car and she runs and hops into it
and locks the door and the reporter asked her what she
thinks she's doing. She opens up the glove
compartment and there's a gun and an air base security ID
badge in there. And so this guy is not a
journalist. This guy is definitely someone
else. This guy is the type of guy who
breaks open a window with a fire extinguisher.
Yes, because that's what he does next.
And Scully reaches out and gouges his eyes when he reaches
in. Does she?
She like rubs something in his eye because later you do see a
mark on his right. Eye.
I think she just gouged his eye, right?
With her thumb or like she. I've done that before to
somebody. Yeah, I think, I think.
Was he pretending to be? It was a woman it.
Was oh God, oh God. Was she pretending to be a
reporter? No anyway.
So she gets out of the vehicle and points the gun at him and
tells him to get in the car. She asks him who he is and he
doesn't say what? What the fuck?
He's very sarcastic through
this, like his, he's like, well, if you say so, miss.
And yeah, sure. Like he thinks this is just so
stupid. Like he's not even like scared
or worried. He's just like, oh this is dumb.
Yeah, but just then the Stoner duo pull up and I was thinking
this must be weird from their perspective.
This woman is just has a guy against a car with a gun on his
back. She asked them if they know
where Molder is and they say they dropped him off at the base
and waited, but he never came back.
Scully orders the security guy who used to be the reporter.
I guess he's a reporter by day and a security guy.
No, I just know. I know he's being in disguise
and shit but. Yeah, obviously he's doing a
Clark Kent thing. Yeah, to get on the
walkie-talkie and find out where Molder is and threatens to leak
the story about the experimental aircraft if he doesn't.
And we see Molder being examined by a team of doctors and they
dropped some liquid into his eye.
Which you saw previously, them doing liquid in an eye in one of
the other scenes too at the beginning, right?
Did we with one of the other pilots?
There was a scene where you saw some dripping an eye.
No, I don't know, but it wasn't explained.
Maybe I'm tripping. I think you might be tripping.
OK on the road. Scully sits in the back seat of
a vehicle with her weapon pointed at the security guy who
wipes his eye. Like he had liquid dropped into
it. For some reason.
I thought that was funny that they went from the liquid being
dropped into his eye to him. Like, you know, doing that.
I mean it's from when she gouged him.
Yeah. You know, it's really
interesting transition. I'd wonder if they meant to do
that on purpose or. If they meant to do that on
purpose. If they meant to do it on a
poipus poopus, But they arrive at the base and after waiting a
second, Scully sees the armed guard guards at the gate open it
for an outgoing vehicle. The door of the Jeep opens and
out steps a discombobulated molder looking worse for wear.
And this is where we get some of the some of the epic molder face
acting with him being supposedly being like out of it tired,
loopy, drugged up look on his face.
He's just. He don't know what's going on.
It's it's the face acting is is is like 50.
Some of it like you're like, Oh well, yeah, he looks like he's
all fucked up. But some of you are just like,
what's he doing with this face? But.
That's the wind. OK, OK.
It's an alien. It's an alien of dog.
We heard a weird noise outside. Yeah, it's the wind.
It's really windy right now. Skelly yells at Mulder to get in
the car. And he looks around like he has
no idea what those words mean. And she's got her gun trained on
the security agent. They meet in the middle and it's
it's like a hostage exchange, I guess.
It's very much like a hostage. I can I say that hostage
exchange? That's a hard one, guys.
Tongue. Twister.
And the security guy tells Molder they are doing what they
were required to do, that it is Scully and Molder that have
acted inappropriately. Scully, who has her finger in
the trigger guard so she is ready to pop a motherfucker.
Oh yeah, she's ready. She's ready for something.
Backs up and gets the fuck out of there.
Scully asked Molder if he's OK. He's dissociating, he says.
I think so, but he doesn't remember how he got there.
They go back to see Mrs. McLennan.
OK, OK, OK, see this is the point I want to mention
something. So he says to her in the car
after she's picked up from being kidnapped.
He says how did I get here or where am I or whatever it is,
right. He says how did I get here?
And then she looks at him like and then it transitioned to him
at the door of Buddha host's wife's house.
Whatever. Mrs. McLennan.
Mrs. McLennan, OK, whichever one it is, the wife of the husband
and asked about the husband, like he remembers everything.
They don't clarify. Did he just start remembering
what happened? Did did she explain what
happened? Did his memory come back?
They don't explain anything. He's just sitting at the house
talking like he remembers. All of a sudden it bothered me.
I was like you need to explain that a little bit.
She doesn't let them in, and when Mulder starts to spout off
what he thinks happened, Scully cuts them off.
They don't know what happened. They have nothing and her report
will reflect that. Yeah.
And that's what she does. She does say she's an eyewitness
to his account of seeing an unidentified flying object, but
she can't verify exactly what it was.
And she looks at the tortilla chip ship one last time.
That's kind of a conundrum. If she could verify what it was,
it wouldn't be a UFO. Right.
Yeah. That's got the whole point.
It's unidentified. But we cut to Mulder breathing
heavily after running laps at a track when the unnamed informant
from the Which? He's Deep Throat spoiler.
Not really. Yeah, the name of the episode's
Deep Throat. This guy has a very, very, very
deep voice. Yeah, I guess so, he informs He.
He shows up and he informs Mulder that their lives may be
in danger. They've seen things they weren't
supposed to, that they have to be more careful.
He says he can provide info, but only when it's in his best
interest, and he says he's interested in the truth.
Mulder tells him they did see something, but they took it from
his memory. The man asked Mulder why people
like him that believe in extraterrestrial life aren't
dissuaded by all the evidence to the contrary.
Mulder replies because all the evidence to the contrary is not
entirely dissuasive. Which is a very interesting way
to word that conversation. Yeah, I found it to be.
I felt like there immediately. I could think of like three or
four other ways that would have been way better to say that.
Yeah, they're not entirely dissuasive.
That's that's a very confusing way to word it.
I feel like he could have said it better.
Yeah, the man, the man replies exactly.
And Molder says they're here, aren't they?
And Deep Throat, replies Mr. Molder.
They've been here a long time and walks away, ending our
episode. So basically just confirm that
aliens have been here for a long time.
What'd you guys think of episode 2?
If you were flipping channels and landed on this would have
hooked you for another episode. I'm not sure.
No. But maybe back in the day when
it first happened, I I would have been.
But nowadays I'm really. I might have just kept clicking
with my. I don't know.
I'm, I'm glad that you, I'm glad that you said that because I
feel the same way. Like after the pilot being such
an amazing episode, I felt like this one was kind of a bit
middling a little bit. Like it, I felt, I think that
they, there was a goal to try to like establish conspiracy theory
stuff and this was some of that stuff has to be a little slower
because if you want to conspiracy theories don't have
proof. That's the whole point.
So they can't show proof of anything.
Otherwise it's not a conspiracy theory anymore.
It's just what's happening. So they have to keep it very
vague. That's why you, you see some
lights, you see a ship supposedly for a few seconds.
You don't know what it is, but you really don't because that's
the whole point. If it's a conspiracy theory, if
they showed us all the fucking shit in the early stuff, then
what's what's the secret that we're looking for?
We know already. I.
Feel like it didn't really have much of A hook either.
It was just their kind of investigating stuff and there's
some like generic government interference.
Whereas the first one it was like more personal and there was
like a connection to this guys daughter being abducted and this
guy's kid being able to walk, which Mulder was like he was
running or she was running. On.
She was running. It was Peggy Odell.
Peggy Odell or Peggy? Peggy.
Peggy thing with. Peggy Yep.
On state road. Anyway, yeah I I don't know if I
would come back for another one if this was the first one I
watched. I got to say, you know what
would have hooked me a little better?
But it might have honestly made the episode better.
What? More Seth Green.
Yeah, I think they could have he.
Was a very interesting character and he was fun to watch And I
think is he is he shorter than Scully?
I think he might be shorter than Scully.
No, she's 53. She's 53, so they're almost the
same height. He's a bit taller.
So she's 53 but she always wears heels and he's 54 and never
wears heels. She's taller than him in this.
I guess so. Oh.
My goodness. Yeah, I don't know cuz he's I
looked it up. He's 5/4.
He has a he looks like he could play like a 13 year old in this
episode. Like you can tell he's a little
he's got a little bit of facial hair maybe coming in.
I. Want to know his aging secrets?
Right, cuz he's he's 20 there and then later he doesn't change
the way he looks at all. You know who I used to get him
confused with is Jamie Kennedy for some reason.
Yeah, they're both white, freckly ginger.
Yeah, I guess so. There's a comparison there.
Not that they look a lot alike or anything like that, but
they're they have a similar look.
They're a white, frankly ginger guy who's acting, you know?
This episode or I mean, whoops, this next segment we're going to
do is we talk about whether or not they solved the case because
we want to keep up with that and see their track record.
They did they solve the first one?
I think we agreed they didn't, right?
Yeah, we agree. They definitely did not solve
the first case. There's no because they.
Don't really know what happened because it's more.
Alien. They don't know what the spots
were. They don't know what happened to
the kids. All the evidence is gone from
everywhere. That was the first episode in
this one. All the evidence is gone.
Someone took it, someone destroyed it, and no one's
submitting anything. They.
Didn't even know what was done to Mulder or how he lost his
memory. Nope, nothing, Literally nothing
is solved. They don't know how the pilots
ended up where they did. They don't know what's going on
at the base. They keep hanging.
They literally, they literally, I think they know less when they
leave here. I think they do, yeah.
They literally do they. Definitely know less.
All right, this. Melder anyway.
This next segment is called Damage Report and it is a
segment where we keep up with the numerous injuries that are
inflicted upon our agents. And at the end of this season, I
think we're going to try to calculate their medical bills
after all this stuff. So what do you guys think?
I don't. Well, there.
Wasn't much physical injury done to our age.
They did some physical injury. OK, well no, the ending with
Molder being, yeah, drugged up, shot up with who knows what kind
of drugs he was, obviously. He's got to go to therapy.
I think mom called it. He's got to go to.
Therapy. OK.
I think every main character of this show moving forward should
probably get therapy just as like an overall theme.
I think therapy is needed if you're involved in any of this.
Yeah. Lord.
And actually, I don't want to. I don't think it's any kind of
spoiler, but I feel like there is actually at least one scene
where we see Molder getting therapy.
Oh, sort of. I think there's something like
that we're talking about. I have added that to our damage
report for Molder, in addition to Scully's ocular contusion,
which is possibly a concussion. That is the best note I have
ever seen. It says molder therapy after
Deep Throat. He needs Deep Throat therapy.
Oh. My God.
Yeah, he had to get some therapy after Deep Throat.
Oh boy. Wow.
Let me see it. Was there any?
Was there it was there any other injuries?
I don't think that anyone hit their head or get knocked out
because that kind of stuff happens quite a bit.
Or like a main character will get knocked out by the bad guy
and then wake up somewhere else. I don't think that happened this
episode. I don't.
Think so? No, not really.
I think the only Yeah, Molder getting hurt at the end when he
got kidnapped and drugged up and shot up with stuff.
I mean, he needs he needs to get checked for what drugs are in
his body. Yeah, but wait a minute.
What do that? What that could solve the case?
It really could. It could.
Just go to the hospital, have them test your blood, find out
what the fucking military people put in your body.
That's true. That's true.
That's a good that's. A good one.
What the fuck? They're so stupid.
What terrible FBI agents. Our our next segment is we try
to decide what our MVP is. And the MVP can be a person, an
object, a place, anything that you think was the most valuable
part. Not player.
I guess you could say player part of this episode, or person,
Player, part person, place, thing, thing.
Padilla. Padilla Concepts.
Concepts. We're done.
So, Mom, what do you think?
You're Unless you don't. You want Melanie to go first?
You could tell us what your MVP is.
She was making a funny face. You can tell us what your MVP
was. My well, well I my MVPI just
can't get over the kid. The.
Kid Seth. Green OK The kid?
Yeah. Is that what you're going to say
is your MVPI? Guess.
Because that's what I want to say when I was going to say yes,
three points. Seth Green is winning.
Seth Green is winning right now. Oh my, I really was going to
say, but you know the the second thing, the pot to my head was
either the lady at the diner who sold the picture or the picture.
Yeah, the picture that he bought for 20 bucks of the tortilla
check. That's.
An. Expensive bitch.
She's like, let me tell you, you're going to own a piece of
history. I only have a few left.
She said I have 5:00 left. You you print, you print those
out. What the fuck do you mean?
You can make a copy of this on the Xerox machine, but look.
Right like you could just what do you mean you have 5 left?
It's a you print some more out. I bet somebody else came in with
that damn picture and she copied it and was like, I'm gonna sell
this one. She's like, I got some diner
grease on this one. Oh my God, making my own.
So are we all saying Seth Green? Seth Green is an early lead in
our MVP bracket. No, not too many spoils of them,
but I'm pretty sure he doesn't ever come back.
So if no one else gets three, he wins.
There there is, there are. What was our Our prize was an
all expenses paid trip to the moon.
Yes, yes, yes. That was what it was for, for
them and a guest. And a guest.
One guest. He's he's going to take that
girl. They're going to wake out on the
moon. You.
Can't smoke weed on the moon? They're going to take some RSO.
I'll tell you what buddy, you want a good high.
You get some, I get some edibles or something up there, but you
guys wait, you that's something we should look up.
How would smoking just anything, whether it be like cigarette or
how would that work with with the gravity on the moon?
Would that not work? There's no breathable
atmosphere, so it wouldn't work. There's no flame that you could
make. Yeah, I guess So what if you had
like a like a pre lit electric kind of device like the electric
lighter that we use for candles? Yeah, that could work I guess.
But then when it was lit, would it just go out because there was
no oxygen? I mean if you hit it inside your
spacesuit or in a like a vehicle.
My God if you inside your spacesuit hot box your moon
helmet. You would just not be able to
see after a certain point. You would wouldn't care because
you'd be so high because you'd be low on oxygen too.
So you'd already be a little bit high.
Plus you would be have a weed all just every.
Oh my gosh. So we also have a segment on
this show where we, like my mom who has never seen The X-Files,
to guess what the next episode is going to be about based on
the title that we tell her. And we always give her exactly
what the episode is going to be. We don't flip.
We don't flop or fib. We tell her just like it is.
Yeah. So Mom, would you like to make a
guess? Yes.
The next episode is called Squeeze.
Yeah.
What do you think that could possibly be about?
What comes to your mind that it could be about?
Well the only thing that come to my mind is an 80s song where
they said Squeeze Box which is actually a radio.
Oh, I thought, I thought squeeze box was going to be something
inappropriate. Yeah, I did too.
Wow. No, that's what I think.
That's what people in England call their radios.
So you think it's going to be Molder investigating the radio?
It's going to be communication through a squeeze box.
That's a good guess, but you're actually completely wrong.
In the next episode, Molder heads down to a fruit stand in
downtown DC where people say the lemons are out of this world,
and he squeezes a bunch, thinking they might be aliens.
But it turns out they're just lemons, much to Molder's dismay
and the fruit vendor's irritation.
Well, he can make lemonade out of it.
That's true. He.
Can make lemonade when life gives you lemons or molder
squeezes them. Life gives you alien lemons,
apparently. All right, And to close out the
episode, I would like us to start maybe saying one thing
this week that made us happy. Oh, well, I, I wasn't sure if we
were going to mention anything about this yet, but I'm going to
now. So that's what we're doing.
OK, We got a puppy. We did.
And we love her so much and we named her Foxy.
Foxington Moldog after Fox Mulder.
And she does have little white feet, so we said we her middle
name is Soxington. Yes, it's Foxy Bulldog, and we
actually, we used to have a dog years ago whose name was Scully
and we loved her very much and now we have this dog and her
name is Foxy. And I guess if we get a dog in
five years, is it going to be Skinner?
We don't. No one knows who that is that's
listening right now, Wink. Oh yeah, you don't know who
Skinner is. Skinners were the main
characters of this whole show. You have no idea.
Yeah, Lynyrd Skynyrd, the FBI, they're they're investigating
what that smell is. Oh, that smell.
You know what? She'll never remember if I said
this now, so it's fine. But like the I just imagine the
one when you see him take his shirt off and that one and
you're like, what the hell? Why does he look so good?
Yeah, that's your mom's going to be like, oh wow, I know it.
It's. Weird.
So what's one thing that made you happy this week, Mom?
I got a grand pup. I.
Love that pup. I love her so much.
She's the best, she's perfect, she's a good.
She's very calm. Well, most of the time when she
meets new people she likes to jump and stuff, but she's not
very big. She calls me Nana.
Yeah, I would say that yeah, getting Foxy is definitely a
highlight. You could take the next one if
you want, which is the best part of this last week obviously.
That's what I was going to. Say, OK, yeah.
Getting Foxy is definitely a highlight but that was kind.
We got her on the 3rd, so about 3 weeks ago now, but actually on
Saturday of this week we went to go see Aries in concert for his
Glass Jaw tour and that was pretty amazing.
Yeah, we got to meet him and yeah, he signed some stuff for
us. It was so cool.
It was awesome. I feel like a little giddy
teenage girl. It was so awesome.
I got to give him a hug and he signed my papers and stuff and I
told him how awesome and sexy he is.
And then I and then and it was cool and he took lots of
pictures and we took videos. It was so fun.
It was awesome. It was really fun.
Y'all have more fun than I did.
I was at the NASCAR. Oh, I'm sorry.
Echo Park Speedway that used to be called the Atlanta Speedway
Freezing. Listen to loud cars.
Yeah, just miserable the whole time.
I couldn't. Yeah, that sucks.
I would have much rather been watching what we watched that
day. And we were, for the record,
anyone who like we were upfront, like we were like in the we're
all with the side of the stage, but we were like in the very
front row possible. And we it was really cool.
Like I swear a pizza sweat probably landed on us at least
once or twice. Probably we were that close.
Yeah, we were. But if you guys don't have
anything else you guys want to talk about, I think we can wrap
it there. All right.
Toodaloo, my darlings. Yeah, if you've made it this
far. Then you are a friend.
And we will see you next time. Toodaloo.
We made this.