I think it's a huge mistake for married people, working people,
to spend most of their time on Eun.
Most of the time needs to be dedicated to learn.
How long to learn Musa. And why is it so important to
learn Gamora? Because Gamora is the basis for
everything, and this crazy feeling that everybody is after
you and everybody wants you is sick.
It's not realistic, but you do need, you know, be nice to
people. You're allowed to smile, which
is a finish. And then there's a Simon.
You go to work, who goes to work?
Who goes to work after breakfast.
Nobody in this country goes to work.
So why is that initial hanar? She'll be taken out.
In our days, working was never considered a beneath it.
If you didn't work, you died. If you didn't work, you starved.
Everybody went to work. Shamali and welcome to
Starktank. Starktank is a podcast by the
challenges and opportunities of being a mentor in the workforce.
As we work on some exciting new episodes, we are going back into
the archive to bring you a recording of a sheer that we had
with our usher Weiss 2 years ago this week.
It was a very special opportunity to bring a group of
Starktank listeners 2 of Usher's home and ask him some
interesting, fundamental and hard questions about what it
means to be a mentor in the workforce.
The last two years I have found myself coming back to this
episode again and again and again because it contains so
many fundamental insights. Before we jump in, I want to let
you know that we have some really exciting written content
coming up in the Start Tank newsletter.
You can go to starttank.org or follow the link in the
description below to Sign up. Today, I want to thank Sofr AI,
which is an amazing, accurate transcription tool for Torah
content. I've been using them to
transcribe old episodes and turn them into very accurate text,
and I've been using them to help prepare some of the upcoming
newsletter articles. So thank you to Sofr AI for
that. And now here's our conversation
worth of Usher Weiss. So I will just give a brief
overview and a scoffer and then we'll have some time to be more
specific. How do we balance out being a
professional, doing your job, providing for your family,
learning Toyota, and fulfilling your duties as a husband and as
a father to children? And this seems to be a very
daunting task, juggling all these important endeavors and
trying to figure out how much resources, time and energy we
dedicated to each of these. So the very first question on my
list is I really want to learn to it in a in a way that's
fulfilling and meaningful. But between work and being
present for my wife and kids, I have very little time available.
Could the love give me some visit for navigating this
challenge? First, your sight of my late
wife. We had a big Canis under the
title, the Hyatt and Ellie Boy, maybe some of you might have
participated. And I spoke about Asmodova
Toyota Creositam la Toyota. And I was moved a few days later
when an individual came to me with a sheet and he said this is
my say that I young from 6:30 in the morning when I get up to
11/15 when I go to sleep. And I wrote down exactly what I
do throughout the day. Could that have find some more
time because after what that have said, I want to learn
somewhat more and I go over that list and I come home from say
the basin coil 7:00 till 7:30. I spend some time with my wife
and and then I go back to learning and I said this item I
don't touch. This is sacrosanct.
This is holy. I want to take off from that
half hour when you come home and you ask your wife how was her
day? Maybe we could snatch off a few
minutes from breakfast from dinner from lunch from but we'll
look for some minutes that we can add on.
But I'm not going to touch this one.
So we all face this challenge. If you are a professional, you
want to do your job properly with integrity and you want to
do the best for your family and provide for your family and that
means being successful in your career.
You want to be keve it in the toilet and you want to be a
father. So there's a macroecus to be
schmoel in and I does want balance out very first payrek in
Devon and Evian Yeshua payre caliph.
What does that mean? Does it mean all day and all
night or does it mean some of the day and some of the night?
Says it means all day and all night.
Rebish Small asks what about vos after the gonerho?
You need to harvest, you need to plow, you need to sow, you need
you know, what about vos de gonerho, Rebsheimerho.
He says this Manchi is so there is no Vos after the gonerho, the
Amdu Zorim URU others would come and they'll take care of your
fields. And Rebish Small says no Hanek
by mini Derek Heritz, We are people and we need to act like
people act and provide for your families and your communities.
And I wrote in Minnesota, Sasha, this is not a maclachus and
hilfis town material. It's a maclachus and hilfis
Derek Heritz. I assume that Bishmore was no
less massmid than Raspi. Not that I knew them both, but a
monochrist static test. There's an atmak like Esebish
more than Rashmi and there of Shimabi who he says a fellow
like Cora ELO kriya shama shakurzva arvis kiyam oghi
sabiyama vanilla. That seems to be a very drastic
contradiction. And brochasy says all day or
night you don't go into your fields, others will come.
And a monochrasy says Christmas shakurzvi arvis rebish more in
Broca says Hanig by manic de la Feretz and Menochis his nephew
asked him could I learn Greek philosophy and he responds
bishosha Ena Loyola because you're day and night need to be
dedicated bogisa bahyola. So this seems to be a very
drastic contradiction both of and of.
So I say both agree the person needs to learn Toyota as much as
he can. The machlaicus is same from
Alanes or Anne Simon Alanes. It's a machlaicus in Herzl de
France. Rib Schumann argues if the
entire nation, not individuals, if the entire nation would
dedicate all it's time and resources and energies to
Toyota, then miraculously we will need to do nothing else.
And Abe Schmal says no, but AMD do Zora Merutzo and Femme is a
dream. It's a utopian dream.
It's not a program as a program, both Safto de gonao.
So as individuals, how do we balance this out?
There is no clear formula. No one could tell you exactly
how many hours you need to spend on any of these three
endeavours. It is about what is important to
you. It's more about attitude than
receiving IBSAT. What is extremely important is
kriyas ITA mataya. I'll just share with you, I
guess, schmack, A vort. I don't even know whether it's a
vort or a verte, because a vort and a vertil are not exactly the
same. They're two different
definitions. The pelayoiets was one of the
great balaya Musa, the beloza papo.
The pelleois is a very well known safer.
He has another safer called Hesed Lavrom and he writes this
idea both in pelleois and Hesed Lavrom, how important there is
Cuvia sedim la Taylor. First of all, he says if you're
cuvae ET IMA Taylor call kevoir ka mahez al mahezza.
So a kevoor is like 50% and the gamong condition says Rav hezed
matte Klapi hes if a person has 50% shreyas, 50% trevis for this
Boku just gives him a pushover. The tipping point and that is
has the shaman. So if you create the military
that's maxon Max. If it's maxon maxer, you have
rave Rubiki kuloi. So if you create the military,
it is as you learn all day. It is a combination of three man
Mora fazal, is that a word vertal.
It definitely is not shot, but it's it's about attitude.
So what is extremely important is Korea's Itam mataira,
preferably with Haverusa or participating in a Shia.
If you learn on your own just wouldn't work out.
You'll always have very important things to do,
especially balancing out family and prognosa.
So what is extremely important is Korea's Itam mataira, either
participating in a Shia barabin or Havrus.
What to learn and how to learn is another item.
So the gold standard we learned in yeshiva's eun.
So let me share with you just a few words about the yeshiva
system. It is clear to any Talmet
rocham, eckel mitzvahs, talmeteer lilmen, almenas
lassis. We're supposed to learn toy de
laudas ES a dereche nayla bove ET amassa and Sharia soon it can
miss this tamataris to learn her locha.
Mousserez 1 is a locha because when we use the posts of the
phrase ETA dereche neilerche bove ETA massaire Sharia, soon
it is not only a lochis, it is also a void, the suquelle.
But Dereche Neilerchebaum means how to come closer to a Kodish
bohu, how to have feelings for a Kurdish burhu, how to live with
a Kurdish burhu, even is not the right thing.
The yeshiva system is geared to teach us how to learn.
But of all life we will be trying to figure out how to
learn. When will you finally learn?
And learning means knowing, knowing Aloha, knowing Musa.
So I think it's a huge mistake for married people, working
people, to spend most of their time on Eun.
Most of the time needs to be dedicated to learn Haloha, to
learn Musa. And why is it so important to
learn Gamora? Because Gamora is the basis for
everything. Musa comes from Gamora.
Hasidis comes from Gamora. Halocha comes from Gamora.
When we talk about Turish Shabal PE, essentially we mean mission
and Gamora. Everything else is included, but
Turish Shabal PE is kazao Khasima SA Talmud is a
milestone. It was a very significant
transformation and that is why this huge industry of Daffy Yomi
is important because Gamora is the fundament, it's the basis.
But I think it's very important for working by the baton to
learn how to learn either Mr. and Hassidis, just to rekindle
your spirit and bring you closer to work on this bar.
But what is extremely important is Calius Itan is working at the
Chatella or a bidi event. And this is also a very
important question. My mother passed away two years
ago. She was 93.
She was an amazing woman in many ways, extremely intelligent,
great machinares. She all has a very keen sense of
humor. And she used to say, I know why
you guys write the khsuba in Aramaic, because you don't want
us to know what's in there, but we do happen to know what's in
there. And you promised, I know Eflach
the Eisen the finest. And you don't live up to your
creed. You have no intention of
fulfilling what you promised. She said that some with a touch
of humor. But working was never considered
a bidet. It was what everyone did for
2000 years. It was what everyone did.
There was 1 Simon in Shorhonar which actually should be taken
out of the Shorhonar, and that is Simon Kufnunzai after
Azkommesod and Baboika Bercus Shahar and Kriya Shamant fellow.
And then there's a Simon you learn after davening.
And then there's a Simon, you go to work, who goes to work, who
goes to work after breakfast. Nobody in this country goes to
work. So why is that in the she'll be
taken out? In our days, working was never
considered a if you didn't work, you died.
If you didn't work, you starved. Everybody went to work.
So there was a huge controversy in the days of that Ambam that
Ambam writes. It is a prohibition to make
money from Toyota and nowhere in the mission of Toyota says the
Rambam use such harsh language as in Data Locha in Ilkostama
Toyota and Barritos Gedolo Miseja Tovois.
So there's a micro sunshine of voice.
There might be some on the table.
That is the most recent safe and there's a very interesting
discussion about the Rambam. The Rambam writes Kileles Hashem
Mevas is a Toyota softer. My last name is Sabrius.
Very harsh language. It was never considered a biddy
of it. On the other hand, this
generation brought such a blessing of Talmud Taylor.
And I think, you know, contrary to what many people think,
nobody planned it. Nobody planned it, neither the
reservist nor anyone else. Nobody planned and nobody
decided that everybody's going to go to Kuyo.
The one that bears responsibility for this
phenomena is David Bangoria. This she must say, Aiden.
And I think you got a lot of Adam Hava for bringing about the
age of Koilen. No, Godel planned it.
And I don't say this in a in a derogatory fashion.
It just happened because in this country you couldn't go work.
You needed to go to the army and we didn't go to the army.
And that is how the Koila world developed.
And it's a huge blessing. Never before did we have so many
young people. True.
Tell me the Hakamim you know, I'll share with you an
interesting phenomena. When you look at the vast world
of Shalasichuvis, 50% is Arachaim, 30% is Euradea.
The other 20% is divided between Ebenezer and Mishmat.
Khashi Mishvat having the smallest segment.
People weren't familiar in Khoshi Mishvat.
Besides the greatest gadolam, nobody learned Khoshi Mishvat.
How many people learned her syllabus?
One in a generation. And today you have hundreds and
hundreds of talmid jahroman mehfrogam learning any Miktsoya
Bitaya. So the coiler world is amazing
and it's a blessing to our generation, but we need to find
the right balance. Working is not a biddy of it.
Learning in Koilu is amazing. It's a great source.
Ashley Misha, Bola Covetone will there be other?
But those that work and provide for their families do not in any
way need to feel inferior. You're doing what your
forefathers did and every generation since modern title.
How do we infuse avoid this a shame into your workplace?
How could we bring about a feeling in which a person
doesn't feel? 8 hours of my day is spent on
nothing and an hour and a half in the evening is dedicated to
Akonisha borough. So the Lamberman has dies speaks
about 1 little pulsec bojo de Ayo bohu yasha or the Lambon
doesn't call it the Gomorrah but the Gomorrah.
The end of brochure says ezo miko cotton apose cotton she
call goofy toilette luyembo bojo de Ayo and maybe I'll pick to
see this. I would stress goofy toilet.
Not nish masa toilet, but goofy toilet.
And the Rambam says what's the interpretation of Bahod rochejo
de via? She'll call masserho lechem
shamaim once again a mission and novice.
And the Rambam's interpretation called masserho means maseri
Shute. Does it mean davening and
learning doesn't mean citizen filling?
It means whatever you do should be lechem shamaim.
When a person eats and drinks, fundamentally you need to feel.
It doesn't need to be a conscious thought, but you need
to feel. I want to be healthy so I have a
balanced diet. I don't, and I'm ashamed to say
I don't, but I should. I want to be healthy because I
want to serve a Kodish borough. I want to have a long life, a
healthy life, and I want to dedicate my life.
So when you work that same fundamental feeling, I want to
be honest in my job, I want to make money.
I want to provide for my family, which is a mitzvah.
I want to provide for my community, which is a mitzvah.
And sometimes, if you're blessed, your work could also be
working in supporting title. Because the title world is so
big today, many people are in marketing and finance, in
administration, directly associated with the by this
sham. But even if you're not, your job
has nothing to do with the by this sham.
Depends on your attitude. It depends on your feeling and
if you feel every moment. The reason I am in this job is
because yes, I want to make money and that's legitimate, but
why do I need money? You know, I want to be Mahan of
my children on a Talmud Toyota. I want to support Almanaz via
asylum. I I want to support the local
yeshiva. Then you work as part of your
avoidance Hashem and that Amberm writes nimso ha Hoy lek bedera
faze Ovid as Hashem called yomov.
So all your day and all night becomes avoidance Hashem so.
As I spoke originally with the Byakov right, I will give a
short presentation. I will have some time for more
practical questions and answers. So I just wanted to share with
you some fundamentals about this sheet that was presented to me.
I do want to relate to the last question when interacting with
non Jews for networking business development, particularly during
conference, says what a good ghidorant is set for oneself.
Should one strive to develop personal relations with non
Jews, secular Jews in order to create a kiddie shasham or stay
away? Keep it professional.
And once again, it's all about balance and it's all about the
individual. No two people are the same.
So in the butter, you know, some of the instructions the girls
get are just utterly ridiculous. So when you work in a place and
never use your first name, what's your name?
Givetta Toffman, which is somewhat awkward.
And if anybody offers you a cracker or, or, or a snack or a
drink, you don't take because and this crazy feeling that
everybody is after you and everybody wants you is sick.
It's not realistic. But you do need, you know, be
nice to people. You're allowed to smile, which
is a finish. You're allowed to smile.
Be nice to people. You have a name.
I want people ask you, what's your name only in the yeshiva
world to these family names. You know, the yeshiva world, the
literacy issue world. You're not.
You don't have a Jewish name, which is crazy.
Mamushtein Hoffmann. They don't use Jewish names, but
in the normal world your name is your first name, not your family
name. When you work with with non Jews
or secular Jews you have huge opportunities for kilish Hashem
and for philomache. Kilish Hashem means two
different things. Mysterious nefesh giving away
your life and that is only biffinir solemi soil but just
sanctifies sanctifying God's name.
A kodesh boku's name with the way you act and interact is even
between goem. We see that nelka sashava
savaida, nelkhas, Geneva gazella and so many see from
inshukhanara that even dealing with non Jews you have a mitzvah
kadesh shasham. I have a daughter, my oldest
daughter for the 25 years is working with the police force.
She's not a cop, she doesn't wear uniform, she is a civilian,
but she develops top secret computer systems for the
intelligence community in Israel.
And just this week she received an award which was a huge kiddie
shashem. When she took this job, she was
the only her lady. Today, 70% of those under her
are her radium. And she's nice.
People admire her in in the unit and it's a huge kiddush Hashem.
And in this country it is so important with, with all that's
going on and all the strife and friction between the Haredi
community and the secular community, this is so important.
So this question is very individual.
Don't become intimate, ever, but be nice, be polite, and have a
positive interaction with secular jewels or even goyim,
whether you're a man or a woman. It's more sensitive with women
that were men, but it's also sensitive between men and the
other gender that's on the other side.
So in all these shyness, we're not dealing with Hilcus Natili
Saddam or Shia Matza or the Shia motor or exactly how, what is
the definition of Benesch Mosheus?
So on these questions, it's impossible to give a definitive
sack, but it's more about attitudes, which I, I think I
tried to convey a very clear message.
Specifics, we'll say during the morning.
And then you have to make decision how often that gets
cancelled for, OK, so monogamous complicated things because I
said there are three aspects that we need to balance out.
Talmud, Taylor, family, profession.
What about Resed? And that is #4 yes, it is
important. So there's a medisch Tanhumen,
pashas Massa, an amazing medesh. Revasi was crying before his
demise. The Tamidan was standing around
his deathbed. And they asked, Rebbe, you of
all people, why are you crying? What do you have to be worried
about? You are the greatest masked man
in the generation. Is there any teddy you didn't
learn? Is there any Teddy, you didn't
teach, you weren't even involved in community affairs because you
were learning all the time. And Abbasi says that is why I am
worried, because I was not involved in community affairs
and that's why I'm crying. I should have been more
involved. I should have been nice about
when I'm. So yes, I spend a lot of time
with people, as some of you might know, and too much time.
I have Kabbalatkal in the morning.
I thought it's going to take half hour.
Sometimes I sit from 8:00 to 11:00 and people just come in
and out and it's too much for me and I don't know how to stop it.
But I do feel that when a person comes into my room trouble, then
he leaves my room with a smile on his face.
I think that I did something important and I accomplished
something. So yes, you need to be involved.
And he said so it's a published the Nefesha him.
The Nefesha him did not come out during the lifetime of the
prime. And he writes in his
introduction that my father used to give me Musa.
I think too much about myself and too little about others.
That's what he writes. This is a testament to the
Itzel, his greatness, because let me make this very clear.
If anybody would say that about me, I would not write it and act
on it to my safe, I would keep it to myself.
We assume that rabbitsalamabalasan, like any
other godly be a soul cared about people, but obviously not
enough to his father's expectations.
And he writes, My father used to say none of us is here for
himself, neither in Ashmeres, not even in Ruhiyas.
We are all here for each other, so hesed is part of our
obligation and it just makes the balance more difficult.
And nobody is perfect. There is no magic formula how to
balance this all out. Maybe somebody is going to come
up someday with an algorithm to work this out.
I don't think so, because it has so much to do with the
individual. Not all our children were
destined to be scholars, but we are realistic people.
We're fathers of children. Not all our children were
destined to be scholars. And that is one of the flaws in
the in our present day system because we expect all our kids
to come out exactly in the same mold and it's an unrealistic
expectation. So some of our kids should be
far more involved in assessor than others should be more into
learning. But everybody needs to be
conveyed the material on one hand and engaged and festive
than the other. There are mentioned that this
whole frame, the whole discussion with regards to the
it's a sort of Gray area and and attitudes are very important.
So can we talk about having a Rebbe and and what type of das
Tor the place and what conversation should be gone
through Rebbe and which can be made in a person's own hush
bomb? Yeah.
So once again, I think a sailor whole lab is important.
It is not as important today as it was in the days of yore when
Devoram Shabalpa, he had told the Shyla Chris 1.
So once the entire transmission of traitor from one generation
for the other was just a relationship between Arab and a
Talmud. Today most of our learning is
for him. And when you ask a person who's
your Rebbe, he could just point, you know, these are my Rebbeum.
But it still is important not only for Moira heroine, because
to understand the nuances of Sakuni, we need to have a Rebbe.
I think even in day-to-day life it's important to have a Rebbe.
But I think the concept of that story has been taken to an
extreme and people just feel more comfortable if they don't
need to make decisions. But you do need to make
decisions in life and many decisions could be made only by
you and your family. And the two words maybe I use
more than any others when people come to me would be, I don't
know, because so many decisions in life are so personal.
It depends on you and your wife and your children.
But we do believe, and we ought to believe that a person that
spent all his life learning Taylor does achieve a certain
level of wisdom and insight and if he's basically intelligent.
So I think it's important to have a Rebbe, a turtle mentor,
but it's also important to choose.
And nobody can impose on you who is your Godel.
And your Godel doesn't necessarily need to be the one
that has a newspaper behind him or political party behind him.
But it is important to have a personal relationship with a
great Halmet Hochran. He's not going to make all the
decisions for you. And if he claims to make all the
decisions for you, look for another Rebbe.
He's not supposed to make all the decisions for you.
The Lambam has such a powerful line in one of his letters, the
Olam al yashlak Odom datoi akhorov Ki hai naim hemlefanim
velomakhor. What a powerful line your
rights. Never neglect your your mind
because your eyes are on the front of your face, not on the
back of your head. If we would have eyes just to
see where we have been taken, then our eyes should have been
on the back of our heads to see where we have been taken.
If your eyes are on the front of your face, your eyes were given
to you to choose where to go. I think it is important to have
a personal relationship with a Rebbe.
Choose your ebayum carefully, just like you choose your
business partners carefully. And understand your ebi is here
for Toyota, for Musa, for an additional level of
understanding. He's not supposed to make your
personal decisions. When to take a vacation with
your family, Where to go, Where to invest?
Never ask a tamator home where to invest.
If you would know my track record, you wouldn't come close
to my I could say like Ibanezza. Ibanezza wrote.
If I would sell Tahririan, people would live forever.
That's the line that the Ibanezza wrote.
And I would sell candles. The sun would never go down.
That's the Ibanez. I could almost say the same.
You're Rebbe is not here to decide for you where to invest.
But if you do have a certain doubt, you could discuss with
him and see whether he responds sensibly.
And if his response is not sensible, don't don't listen to
his advice. It's not like asking if Sheila
and Elko Shabbos or an Elko's he hood or in any other area of
Thailand one more because they have these horsable.
Yeah. Sense of anxiety before I do
approach already. Sometimes they prevent
naturally, whether it be, you know, oh, he's busy or I don't
really have such a big problem. I wish people would feel more
anxiety before they approach me. They don't seem to.
I think that's wrong. And if you feel anxiety
approaching your rabbi, rabbi's not doing a shot properly.
I think rabbi should be available and and accessible and
and they should be there for the torn medium.
Still you will make what? Still, you will make his lad
have his own. Time also.
But many things in life are, you know, are not always subjective.
Maybe some many things are subjective.
Did. Everyone talk a little bit about
Shabbos and the place that should play when our busy weeks
when we get the Shabbos so tired, but it's also.
Shabbos is a yo manujo Okuducho and on one hand Shabbos is a yo
manujo and that means Shabbos was given to us also to rest.
So I've been asked from an American community lately about
scooters. So a person lives somewhere in
the Midwest and he says almost the entire community comes to
shul Shabbos and scooters. His rabbi said you can't use
that on Shabbos. And the question he came to ask
me if a person that uses a scooter on Shabbos said he's
Manassa Hein, if he could get an aleah and shul.
So he said he's not Manassa Hein, you can give him an aleah.
How do we define Uvdin the Hoyle?
So 1 of Mayagdoras any means of transportation would be
considered older than the oil. So 100 years ago there was a
controversy in Europe about bikes.
Can you ride a bike some good day.
The more Matteo this answered so the POSIX says Shivu ish takov
al yezay Ishmael koimme. So one of the fundamentals, it's
not a mitzvah, but one of the fundamentals of Shabbos is
Shabbos is supposed to be home transportation is older than the
oil. So the Shuila Mace of 150 years
ago deals with the tram. In many European cities it was a
tram, and in many cities you didn't need to pay.
It was a service that the municipality gave to you.
Could you use that on Shabbos? You don't need to pay, you don't
need to be metaltal. And the shanimation of acid
transportation is over than the oil.
And that is why these little tricycles are three Wheelers
that kids use. That's not another problem at
all. Recreation is motor
transportation is also. Once Upon a time these scooters
were more about recreation, but in the modern world it has
become a means of transportation.
So I would say it's over than the oil.
You could still give an alia to a person that his Rove says he
could use his scooter on Shabbos.
So Shabbos in one hand is a young manoeuvre and it's
legitimate to rest on Shabbos. It is fundamentally.
But Shabbos is also a young of kedusha, and it is so important
to infuse your Shabbos with with Kedusha and spirituality.
And at the middle of the week, you don't get to see your kids
enough. Your kids are in school.
By the time they come home, they're tired.
By the time you come home, you're tired.
Sham. This is a wonderful opportunity
of learning with your children, spending more time with your
children. So once again, everything we
discussed today is all about balance, balancing up manuka and
kedusha. It's all about balance.
OK, Any purchase of swarm dedication is included in the
price. Coulter was a pleasure to see a
wall and you should all have a beautiful Shabbos.