Of the rave said to him, he said my wife, you look like a sweet
guy and everything and he seemed like a great guy, but you're
very weak in Kumar. He basically didn't accept him.
My others looked at him and said no, no, this is where I'm going.
One of the soldiers told his mother and said, you know, just
if he's scared. He said well I'm scared but if
I'm next to be young but I won't be, I won't be so scared.
When you lose a child and suddenly you're looking at his
whole life from a different perspective, you slowly piece
together a much more complete picture of the of the
personality, even though it's your child and you kind of knew
all this stuff. It's not a major tradition, but
things come into focus. Tom Malek and Welcome to Stark
Tank. Stark Tank is a podcast by the
challenges and opportunities of being a mentor in the workforce.
This week is Yoma Zicaron and Yoma Smote.
For this special episode we will be speaking to two fathers who
lost their sons in the early months of the war. 1st a
conversation with Eitan Morel about his son Maoz Morel Hashemi
Komdemo. Then you'll hear from Rob Airlie
about his son Binyamin Airlie Hashemi Komdemo.
At the end we will replay some great moments from Stark Dick
about the beauty and kadusha of living in Aratisaral. 1 episode
which I still get great feedback about is with Ellie Friedman.
We also had a very popular conversation with Jakob Erikranz
about the finances of making aliyah.
And finally, you will hear a little bit more about my own
Aliyah journey with a clip from the DHR podcast hosted by Zach
Lanic where I was a guest. Before we jump in, a quick
reminder that you can receive exclusive written content
directly to your inbox by subscribing to our newsletter.
Go to starttank.org or follow the link in the show notes to
subscribe today. I don't usually do intro
monologues, but I think it's important to mention a few quick
things before we go to our guests.
First is that there are many bereaved families who are
enshrining the memory of their loved ones with lots of
publicity. This is very special, allowing
the legacy of these condocian to regularly inspire all of
Kalistrom. But it's important to mention
that there are other families who have taken a different path.
Some are coping OK with the loss, but it's too hard for them
to speak publicly. Others are literally collapsing
under the paint. I would like to take a moment to
remember these families as well. The second thing is that
sacrifice takes many forms. Many soldiers have returned
physically, but inside they are broken and shattered.
Itamar Alush fought on October 7th with his comrades from the
Ofaqin Police Department. He saved many lives by helping
evacuate the wounded and eliminating a number of
terrorists. Itamar also saw way too much on
that terrible day. A number of people died in his
arms, including people he knew and loved.
Itamar was not killed on October 7th, but he was never the same.
Just a few months ago, he celebrated the bar mitzvah of
his son. A few days later, he suffered A
fatal heart attack on Yoma Zicaron.
I encourage everyone to remember other types of sacrifice as
well. It's been over 2 years and a
little hard to remember, but we cannot forget that in the early
months of the war, the daily battles were fierce and deadly.
Every soldier who went in, every wife, mother and child who said
goodbye to their loved ones knew exactly what was at stake.
It is our duty to remember the sacrifice of these heroes,
salute their bravery and express our infinite hakaratato that.
We spoke about those who suffer in silence.
We spoke about the various types of sacrifice.
And I wanted to add a third and final point.
When my parents decided to make aliyah, I was 12 years old and
my great grandmother, Oh Mama Zahonala Raha, was still alive.
When my parents told her that we were saying goodbye and moving
across the ocean, her first and only question was what will be
with Yaakov and the army? And for many Americans, this is
a fair and big question about aliyah.
It's a bit crazy to think about moving to a place where you are
asked to put your life on the line, but reflecting on the
event of the last 2 1/2 years has given me a fresh perspective
on this issue. Yoma Zico and Yoma Smote are
attached for a reason. Our love and appreciation for
Israel. Is what?
Makes this sacrifice possible and we are inspired by those who
have made the ultimate sacrifice to build Israel even more, fill
it with more life, more joy and more strength.
Wishing everyone a meaningful Yoma Zikaron and a very happy
Yomah's vote. We are joined now by Eitan
Morrell. Eitan, thank you for joining us
today. Glad to be here.
So maybe just a little bit of a brief background about your own
personal journey, making Aaliyah, selling in a unique
community that is a little bit off the beaten path before we
get into the story of your son Mos.
So I grew up in a small community in upstate New York,
in Binghamton, and I went to high school in MTA New York.
And after high school I came to Israel for the year and I stayed
a second year. And then I went to the Army.
And then I went back to America for a few months and I realized
that was not what I wanted. And so I came back to Israel and
I went to college here. And when I got engaged to my
wife, Varda, we knew that we wanted to live in a small
community. And that's what I grew up with.
That's what I wanted. No, I didn't want to live in a
big city, but we didn't know exactly where.
And our friends were moving to this little small place called
Tomon, our friends who are already married like a year
already. And they convinced us to move
there with them. So we came, we checked it out.
We said, OK, we'll move here. We have these one people that we
know. We were renting a caravan, so if
we hated it, we could leave. We weren't, you know, investing
in our house or anything. And we were engaged at that
point. And our wedding was in America.
So we went to America to actually get married.
And then when we came back here, we discovered that our friends
didn't, didn't, didn't move to Talmon.
They packed out and moved somewhere else.
So we didn't know anybody here. That was back in 9093 and we've
been here now since then. We've met a few people since
then and you know, it's a small, it was very small when we first
came. It's, you know, over the years
we've, we've grown as a family, you know, as the issue of grow
grew and you know, it worked out.
So that's how we arrived here. Both Varda and I stayed in
Israel pretty much since we came for the year and stayed.
I had a little few months in America, but basically we both
have been here since our year. OK, amazing.
So we're here to talk about your experience and the, you know,
losing your son ma oz morale shame you come demo and it's
obviously impossible to capture your whole life in a brief
podcast. Maybe I thought we just sort of
choose one question, a sort of unique angle, which is that he
learned in an interesting yeshiva.
I wonder if you can tell us about the yeshiva and why he was
a good fit. What about him made that yeshiva
right for him? OK, so first of all, I'll start
with the fact that my Oz always had difficulty in school.
He had ADHD, he had some learning disabilities.
School was always very hard for him.
Gamora was always very hard for him.
He worked very hard throughout high school.
He finished high school, he did bug Groot.
He did everything he was supposed to do, but it was a
struggle for him academically, not socially, academically.
And when he finished, when he was finishing in 12th grade, you
have to decide what am I going to do after this?
And like with his older brothers, I, I feel that the
decision about what they do after high school is, is, you
know, in Israel, that's a decision that's 100% up to them.
And it's like really almost that one of the first times that you
have to really decide what do I want?
Because, you know, it's not even an issue of like getting in, you
know, like with College in America, people have to get in
this place and Israel with the boys high school, there's an
issue of getting in here pretty much with the Hester Yeshivas.
If you want to go there, then you can go there.
It's not an issue. But there's so many different
options and there's different has to yeshivas that are
different from each other. And there's Yeshiva Kvahoj and
there's Miffy note, and there's all kinds of millions of
programs. So it's the first time a kid has
to really decide what do I want and everything's open to me and
I have to do a Bay roar what is right for me.
And I try and, you know, to be more of an advisory capacity and
the fact that I really want them to do that on their own.
He visited a few places and he very, very quickly came to a
decision that this is a place that he wants to go to.
Now, it wasn't 100% clear to me why he was so clear that this is
a place that he want to go to. I have some ideas, but but I the
place that he went to is yeshiva that at the time was in Tapua
and now it's in a place called Deviatar.
And this yeshiva is AI guess almost like an outgrowth or a
satellite yeshiva from Ilon Mora, which is a much more well
known and more vatik at yeshiva. And at the time this place was a
few years old, like maybe four or five years old.
And there is a very, I think significant difference between
Ilon Mora and Tapua, even though they're connected around Al
Yakim is the nasi of both of them, the Roshi Shiva, many of
the Rami themselves learned for many years, and Elon Moret.
So they're very connected to Elon Moret.
But there's definitely a difference in style.
I would say that Elon Moret is more serious in terms of the
actual alumnus and learning than this place is.
But this place has a more like firmy feel, more dusty, less
serious, if you're familiar with that whole thing.
And I think that he felt for him, he wanted a place that was
a serious place. He didn't want one of these
places that's not serious. And he felt this was like the
right fit for him. He was serious about Yiddish
kite, serious about learning, but he didn't excel at it.
And when he went for a, like I said, it's not hard to get it.
If you want to go, generally you can go.
They want you more than what the often with these places.
But still, of course, there's subpoena and he went there to,
you know, with the cultural boy Shiva.
And he did a, you know, a fahina faher, I guess you'd call it in
America. And at the end of the faher the,
the the Rav said to him, he said, you look like a sweet guy
and everything and you seem like a great guy, but you're very
weak. In Kamara.
He was, he was very weak. He goes in our yeshiva, we
pretty much learn tomorrow, most almost the whole day.
I mean learn tomorrow morning, afternoon, night.
That's the main focus of everything.
And I see that you're very weak and I think that there's other
yeshivas that you would do better in.
And he basically didn't accept him.
And my others looked at him and said, no, no, this is where I'm
going. This is the right place for me.
The Raff said to him, look, if you want to come, you can come.
But once you get here, you'll see that it's not the right.
You know that it'll be hard for you and you'll come on your own.
If you want to come, you can come.
So my Oz ended up going there. I think he wanted to go there
because he wanted to be that type of guy.
He he wanted to be in a place where he has to work to be on
the level of the people there. He wanted to be the Nava
Arayota, as they say, as opposed to erosh the shortly.
He wanted to be in a place. Now this was a place that he
thought that he could do that and it wasn't too much.
In other words, it was like a place that he could and he liked
the type of guys that were there and he liked the Rebey him and
it really was a good choice for him.
It was a very good fit for him. But when he was there, he had to
work very, very hard and he did. He worked very, very hard to
keep his head above water because he took it seriously.
In other words, you know, and when you're in Hester, there's
no, there's no, at least in this place, there's no tests, there's
no anything. All you're learning is a schma.
It's for you. And if you don't learn anything,
then you don't learn anything, especially in this place, it's
very like, you know, if you're not going to learn, they're not
going to say anything. Everything's available to you,
but they don't sit on top of you.
And, and he pushed himself to learn as much as he could.
And we heard many, many stories about him, about that aspect of
him, how Gemara was very, very hard for him.
But he, he, he would not give up until he understood Gemara.
He would sit the Harusa would explain in the Gemara and he'd
say and understand it Levanti and this would go on and on and
on 7/8 times till till he said okay, now I understand.
Then moved on and then the next part and then the next part,
next part. And this is how he would go
through every day. So he worked very hard to be
successful in yeshiva and, and he was successful in the sense
that he was a male batoda. He worked very hard every day to
do well. And this yeshiva, he had a very,
very close catcher with his Rebbe and with the Rosh Toshiba
and it enabled, it was the right level for him and a place where
he could do that. And that was, I guess he's not
that, you know, and I think that's why he did.
So I had actually no and hadn't really heard of the yeshiva
before the Levaya and hearing of who's his rammers Yeshiva speak
was really quite special and emotional and and and moving to
me, you know, sitting there way in the back back rows standing.
But I did want to ask, you know, before we sort of move on to the
next chapter in his life to the army.
You know, that scene of him being told don't come by the
Rishi Shiva and then his persistence to want to do any
anyway. Was that something you had seen
in different stages beforehand? I got armies different.
We're going to talk about that in a moment.
But but before Yeshiva, high school, middle school, younger,
was he a very persistent type of guy?
So I'll tell you one of the things that we discovered that a
lot of times we feel like we know our children very well and
we do and we do, all of us. I mean, I don't mean just mean,
we mean the Morales in general. We have children, we know them.
When you lose a child and suddenly you're looking at his
whole life from a different perspective and you're looking
at his whole life with knowing the whole complete life and you
know where he ends up and you know where he started.
And you can, and especially in a situation like his where you sit
in a ship, thousands of people come and everyone tells you
stuff. You, you slowly piece together a
much more complete picture of the, of the personality, even
though it's your child and you kind of knew all this stuff.
It's not a major tradition, but things come into focus.
And one of the things that really came into focus and we
now I don't think we saw this in real time, but now we see many
instances of this throughout his life was that he when he felt
things were very important to him, he would not give up.
Once he said this is what is best for me and he wouldn't give
up. And we have a number of
examples. And this yeshiva is one of the
examples, and we have a few others, but in real time, we
didn't see it that way. But now we see like that coming
up again and again and again. And we sort of piece it together
into actual personality trait that that really comes out over
and over again throughout his life.
So. This is a place for me, He was
sure of himself and we have other examples of that too.
Wow, That's that's that's fascinating.
Fast forward to his Army Service, if I call it the Levay,
I think one of your other sons said the following.
He said it's a surprise that a Morel ended up in SAR at San
Hanim. So maybe you could tell us about
why it's a surprise, why we wouldn't expect them around, and
then, yeah. And then how we ended.
Up my oldest said that and what he meant by that and we all
understood this. So you have to know our family
very well and understand this. We have in our family five boys
and then a girl, so for many, many years and also now we're
really a family of boys. However, unlike the traditional
family of boys, we are not a sports family.
We are not athletic. None of my kids were into
playing sports really. You know, you do a little
because you have to, but they certainly weren't into following
sports and they certainly weren't into barely into
playing. Some of them are really not into
it and most of them, you know, they sort of did enough to be
socially acceptable, but it was not a passion.
And even though I have 5 boys, we didn't have like basketball
going on all the time, football going on all the time, soccer
going on all the time. It was not, they're not.
No one here is athletic. No one here is physical in that
way. That's from OS was he wasn't
crazy into sports, but he was the only one that was actually
good at sports. You know, the guy that got to
pick the guy that's good. And and he played football,
American football in the league. He was the captain of his team.
He's LED his team three years in a row to the championship.
And he he evolved in martial arts and Kung Fu for six years
and he really excelled and he did very well in that up to a
certain point that he went to high school in the dorm and then
it kind of fell off. But none of the others were like
that. And and also the kind of fever
that he was in specifically. So like no one of us were
surprised that he was in like a, you know, like an assayer it.
But even my Oz did not even try to get into the top tier side
road to what they call young side road to Biggie Bush for
that, even though I'm sure I'm not sure, but there's a very
solid chance if he would have attempted to do that, he would
have gotten into a more top tier syeret And he didn't because he
wanted to be in Hefter. In other words, he didn't go
like many of his friends to the to the gibbous because he wanted
to be in Hefter. And the only reason he was in
Sanjanin, even because at the end of it, in his second year in
yeshiva, he realized that he's not completely focused like he
would like to be in the learning.
And he wanted to give 100% everything, and he was not able
to in the learning. So he said, OK, this is time to
go to the army. If I can't focus fully on my
learning now, I'm going to go to the army.
But he wanted to stay in Hasdare.
So, yeah, as you know, I don't know who your listeners are, but
in Hasdare, some yeshivas go to the army in March and some go in
August, and his yeshiva goes in August.
But Mahas wanted to go in March because he wanted to go earlier,
because he wanted to already start the army, but he wanted to
stay in Hezder. What's the problem?
The problem is you go and stay in Hezder, not together with
your yeshiva. Then you're running a wrist,
which was like the worst thing that could possibly happen as
far as my Oz was concerned, that you would be in like Shir Yon or
Tossanim or something like that and not here.
Not infantry, which is what he wanted.
But what's the solution to that? You go to Sansanim.
Sansanim is a way to get into for sure into infantry.
So once he went to Sansanim, he went and did the Bush for the
Syeret. He is very good at that stuff.
He didn't think he would get in, but he got it.
So once you get into the Syeret, you can't be in Syeret if you
remain in Hezdeer. So at that point he said, OK,
I'm going to go, I'm going to go with the Sayer.
But up until he got into the Sayer, his plan was to remain in
Hezdeer, be in Sasani and then go back to yeshiva.
He didn't even Doogie Bush for other things.
But we're not surprised that he got into Samaritan.
Our family, we're not surprised he was in a sayerit.
I think he could have been in even, you know, a more higher
level sayerit if he wanted to, But he he chose not to.
But he was the only one in our family that I would say true,
truly athletic. Interesting.
So it just so I understand then the listeners, I think I
understood this, but you're saying that general commando
units are have their own sort of acceptance process, which means
that you're leaving has there, whereas some honey you can go in
through has there. And then when you're in the time
has there, you can get accept to the tan honey commando and then
stay within the has their framework.
No, if you get accepted to say yeah right, then you can't
remain with it because a regular Sanshan, his training is 7
months and then he's fully, he's fairly trained to go into
combat. For Sayaret, the training period
is 14 months. And with Hester, the entire
period that you're in the Army I think is 17.
So you're not, they're not going to let people train for 14
months only to have more, three more months to be to be in the
army. So if you get into the Sayaret,
if you want to go to Sayaret, you have to leave.
You have to leave. You have to leave Hester, and
they do that on purpose because also they don't want people who
got into the fairy to not go. In other words, if you got in,
they want you. OK, so Moses were killed in a
very tragic incident that had many, many casualties.
So can you tell us like the brief version of the events that
occurred that day? OK, so on that day it was
February 15th, 24, He had been at that point in Aza for 95 days
with 72 hours that he was not in Aza out of the last 95 days.
And at that point, they had been almost straight now for almost 8
weeks in Aza. I mean, snow showers, everything
that in it. And the way it works in Aza for
people who don't know is that the soldiers would capture like
they would like capture like a certain area.
And then at night they would, they would go into one of the
buildings, a house or another type of building, usually a
house apartment that is in the area that they captured.
And that's where they would sleep that night.
And every night they'd move on and sleep in a different house
or every two nights, every three nights, they switch houses.
And that house was their base while they were there.
And so that morning was 9:00 in the morning, and a group of
soldiers were sitting in the living room of the house, which
is in the front of the house, preparing to go out for like a
mission that they had to do. And they are in their final
preparations to leave, leave the house.
And a grenade came in through the window and blew up in the
living room. And all of the 12 soldiers that
were sitting there were all were all injured in various levels.
My was not in there. My was in a more internal room
because he wasn't going on this mission.
And so he was still, he was in another room asleep and he woke
up from the grenade and he runs into the room and he sees all
these injured people and he sees his commander like thrown on the
side, heavily injured. So first he dragged his
commander further in to protect him.
And then he he he put put Hassim.
Tourniquet. How do you say a tourniquet?
But he had a third very serious wound over here or you can't put
a tourniquet on and so he did a procedure called packing which
basically was it enabled him to stop the bleeding here which
which saved his officers life. Now, the thing about packing is
that usually a regular soldier like Maoz was, who's not a
medic, doesn't know how to do packing.
This is something that medics usually do.
Maoz know how to do it because his officer, the one who was
injured now made sure, you know, this is a Sierra.
And he said we're the best. We have to know everything.
He wanted everyone to be on a very high level of everything,
but also high level of medical knowledge.
So they really like drill that into them and learn stuff before
they went into Aza. And so that's how Maoz even knew
how to do this and, and it saved it saved his life.
After that, he went and started helping with all the other
wounded. They had a, a medic and even a
paramedic who was with them. And they kind of dealt with the
more serious ones. And Moz was helping and each
soldier that was they helped him and, and, and bandaged him.
They had then evacuate them. And so each soldier, they were
there on the 2nd floor, they had to go downstairs each.
So they would take him up in a stretcher, go down the stairs
and outside. And then as they have these
armored personnel characters that that they make them into
ambulances. And so inside they have a lot of
medical equipment and also doctors are there and those kind
of pull up and they load them into there.
And then they from there bring them to the helicopter, which
then helicopters them into hospitals in Israel.
So 12 times Mahaj and his fellow soldiers went up and down, up
and down, up and down to evacuate everyone.
The whole time this is going on, there was a battle going on
defending the the house because it wasn't the grenade that was
thrown was the opening shot of a planned attack on the House that
they were in. They were in that house for more
than one night. So the Hamas knew they, they saw
them, they knew they were in that house.
So they planned an attack and there was like a team of Hamas,
they came that were attending as far as the terrorists were
concerned, this was a very sophisticated attack on this
house. So the other soldiers who were
now wounded were defending the this house and also other
soldiers that came from nearby houses.
And there's a whole gun battle going on on the street.
What I'm trying to say is that the whole taking all the
soldiers and evacuating them, all that is going on under fire.
So 12 times when they say go up and go down, that's all
happening under fire. So he does all of that and when
they finish with that, the battle's still raging after they
evacuated all the wounded. So he runs upstairs to his
weapon, which is a MOG. Every soldier has a weapon that
is there specifically been a MOG is a very big like machine gun,
very, very heavy and big. Moe's was in charge of that.
That was Moe's weapon that he was trained on.
So he rides upstairs to the MOG and now his officer has been
been wounded. So they already know what to do.
They all very experienced already, so it's not the first
battle. So he runs upstairs to the Mog
and he goes up to the roof in order to be able to give from
the roof cover fire to the soldiers fighting below.
He gets up to the roof. He sees two soldiers up there.
One of them is the the head commander of the whole Fayer
Tsankharim and who was already up there commanding all the
troops coming in, all the forces.
And another soldier who's always with the commander, his his
communications guy, that guy's name is Yair.
And Yair told me this is what happened, he says, all of a
sudden in the middle of the battle.
Why in the middle of the battle? Because the grenade was thrown
at 9:00 in the morning. And Maoz arrives to the roof at
about 9:50 after it took that long to evacuate everyone.
So as far as he's concerned, they're already in the battle
for 45 minutes or so. And so in the middle of battle,
Maoz appears. And he says to him, Yair.
Yair is shooting with his personal weapon.
He says. Yair, step aside with that toy
gun that you have. Let me get in there with some
actual firepower with my mod. And so, yeah, here's steps
aside. And he comes in with the mog and
he starts raining down a mog. Very powerful weapon for
infantry. And it creates a situation where
the terrorists have to retreat into a house.
So Maoz is standing on the roof of a house and the terrorists
are in a house across from him, and he is shooting constantly.
And he traps them in the house because they can't leave because
he's shooting at the house. During the time that he traps in
the house, the head commander brings, they're able to bring a
tank and the tank shoots down the house from close range on
top of the terrace. However, the area is very
crowded. The houses are very close
together. Like imagine like in the old
city, you know, the houses are a few meters away from each other.
So when you take a down a house with a tank at close range,
pieces of the house fly all over.
And a piece at that point flew directly at my Oz.
And he was wearing a helmet, but right into his eye and into his
head. And he fell there with the mock.
But he he didn't die yet. And 38 minutes later he was in
the hospital. Wow.
That battle, by the way, didn't stop when my Oz was wounded.
That battle only ended completely at 2:00 in the
morning. It was 1718 hour battle.
Wow. So it's really incredible house.
Soldier from his unit Rotemsar Hadar, who was killed by the
grenade, not instantly, but but he was also killed and there
were many wounded, like 3 or 4 wounded I would say more
seriously and others more lightly.
His commander was injured very seriously and he was took a long
time to recover, but now he's like fully recovered.
Just I mean, he recently ran A10 K 38 minutes.
So he's, he's doing OK. So I guess, you know, it's
obviously incredible to hear about this battle and the
heroism of Mao's and his as comrades.
And, you know, so you mentioned that he was brought to the
hospital alive. So tell us any briefly about
sort of the next step like and as far as like the efforts to
save him and then what ended up happening?
So Varda and I were in our house in town.
We could have not become, but we were both home, miraculously.
It's like a Thursday it happened fire call.
Thursday, yeah, We got a phone call at 12:30.
Varda got the phone call and they said they were calling from
the army. Your son of those has been
injured very seriously. And they say in Hebrew, Patua
Ke$ha, and we'll be at your house in 10 minutes to take you
to him. So they show up and we don't
know anything more than Patua Kasha.
And we get in the car and we have an hour and a half drive
from our house to the hospital in Bishop.
Which hospital? Saroka Saroka Hospital So and we
don't know anything now when they tell you Patua Kasha
injured seriously, there's a huge range that could be within
those words, Patua Kasha and we had no idea where he was
injured. What we're talking about here,
is he going to lose a limb? And we had no idea.
So we get to the hospital after an hour and a half, and they
meet us outside and say, want you to see him.
So they already take us in. At that point, he's already in
the intensive care unit. And we see him.
But, you know, intensive care, he's not conscious.
He's bandaged up. He's hooked up to all the
intensive care, you know, hardware.
He's wearing uniform. No, no, no, no, no, he is.
He's not wearing uniform at this point.
He's been in the hospital for a few hours already and he's
unconscious and he's hooked up to everything.
And so we look at him and we have no idea still what the
situation is because, you know, sometimes they keep you under on
purpose and we have no idea. And then the doctor takes us
into his office and he says, I'm very, I'm very sorry to tell you
that he suffered massive irreparable damage to his brain.
And it's enough. And that's it.
Nothing we can do. So I say to him, what?
I mean, like, there's no like any medical procedure.
There's no, you know, anything, there's nothing to do medically.
So I say to him, So what? What are we talking about here?
We're talking about hours. Days says yeah, hours, maybe a
few days, maybe a couple days. And that's it.
Like there's nothing. He was very clear on that.
So like when there's nothing more to discuss, like he was
very clear the situation. He said there's no medical
procedure to be done. We're just basically waiting.
There's no basically he said there's no hope.
That's what we understood. That's what he he was very
clear. So Farda and I walk out of the
room, obviously very broken. And we meet an Army officer and
she introduces herself and she says she's she's not in this
game, but her job is to liaise between the families and the
army. And she says to me, look, it
doesn't look that way maybe to you right now, but you've
actually been given a gift. Because a lot of times, most
situations, a soldier falls in battle and they notify the
parents that their son has been killed and then there's a
funeral and that's it. But you, even though he's not
conscious and even though he might not have very much time
left, he is still alive right now.
And therefore you can take this opportunity to part with him to
have that closure, saying he'd really keep Parade.
That was like a very, very important thing that she told us
that we really took to heart. And we took that very seriously.
And so we had all of our other five children come to the
hospital and we started Thursday, started a process of
kind of parting with most and not just our immediate family,
his friends, whoever could started coming and our friends
and his rebbies and his teacher, everyone who was in his life,
who was important to him started streaming like to the hospital
and everyone who came because outside, not everyone understood
Philly. I explained to them very clearly
that there's no hope and they should take this opportunity to
say goodbye to him. And that was a very, very
important thing to us, for us. And I think it changed a lot
about the whole experience. You know, at the we came to the
Via different than people who come to the Via without that
when we were in the hospital, you know, we had a lot of the
name people on. You know, people say to you, you
know, don't don't you know, you know, even and you know, I would
say to them, look, if there's going to be a miracle, I'll take
it. But I can't, I can't go about
the next few days assuming and I can't go about my business
managing my day under the assumption that they'll be a
miracle. Because all the doctors say, and
we even had, we didn't feel we need to.
But another one of the soldiers that was injured also very
seriously. And he was also in the hospital.
And his mother told us that they have a neighbor who is the head
of the neurosurgery in Balinton. And the head guy in Saroka was
like his student. He's like a top, top guy and a
close personal friend. Because you should talk to him,
talk to him, you know, second opinion or whatever.
We didn't feel and need the second opinion because it was so
clear to the doctor and it wasn't like he was, there was no
medical decisions to be made. But you know, she says he's a
close personal friend of ours and he's going to call.
And this big doctor from Bailenson called us and he was
very helpful. And he told us.
He says, look, if the doctor told you, you know, Anush, that
he's like, there's no way out of this.
That's, you know, says when I tell someone that, that's that's
how it is. He says of that.
However, once every few years, this is what he says to me.
I have a case where I'll tell someone that and then there's
like something that I can't explain.
They come out of it because I don't want to give you help.
But like that has happened because once every three or four
years I get a situation like that.
You know, he's a very experienced, you know, doctor
now because Bailiffs and Saroka are both in Kali, he can just
from his computer go in and see all of the CTS and everything.
He can see everything our doctor sees.
And also he's, you know, he knows the doctor, so it was no
problem. So then he gets, he looks at all
the medical everything and then he calls us back and he says,
look, he says what I said before that could be, but not in a
situation like this. After what I saw there, he was
100% like, there's really no. So just I just, I understand
that what he was talking about there again, Moses was rushed to
the hospital. They did a number of scans.
They also opened him up or just scanned and he just saw damage
which was so completely the brain was so put him.
Into the nurse, the surgical, they brought him into the
surgery operating room ready to do surgery on his brain.
But when they in the room, they were looking at the CTS and they
realized in the surgical room, there is nothing we can do.
We can't. It's not all if we touch it,
it's massive damage. If he stays alive anyway, he'll
be like with massive brain and they couldn't move it with a
huge piece that was launched into his brain.
So like once he was in the surgical room, they saw that
there's nothing to do and they basically just like damaged him
up and moved in there. And that was clear to any Doctor
Who understands anything about this, that that was a situation.
Then it was just a matter, a matter of time.
So we really like use that time and and then so that was
Thursday and Friday, tons of people were coming and then we
had a very long Shabbos. You know, you're there for
Shabbos and you know, there's no phones on Chavez.
You know, we're from no, no phones.
There's no distractions. You know, that was a very hard
Shabbos. Of course, much of Shabbos, tons
of people came and and much of Shabbos.
He's he's still, he's still alive, doctor, So didn't think
that he'd still be with us much of Shabbos.
And then we started getting like a little worried that this could
turn into a much longer There are people who stay alive for
years in this situation. So you know, I was like a little
nervous about that. And then the kids worried.
We decided this is not for something much the shot Sunday
and then on Monday we just on Monday his his unit after being
in eight weeks straighteners. In other words, he was injured
on Thursday, but they only got out of those on Monday as
scheduled as others before this whole episode, we knew that he
was coming home for a visit on Monday.
And they kept on fighting and through Shabbos they were there
and everything. And on Monday they got out and
they didn't go home. They came to the hospital to
visit the wounded and also Moss. And so they had a very, you
know, emotional, very emotional party because I explained the
situation to them too. And these guys rose with with
them for two years, from his first day in the army until that
moment they were together. And in that time, the 14 months
of very intensive training, almost 100 days together in
Ozza, which is very intensive. And they were like really like
brothers. And that was a very emotional
parting. And that was about they left.
There would be 4/30, 5:00 in the afternoon on Monday.
And we decided to do something we hadn't done special family to
Fila. So we had all of our children
gather together at 7:00 at night in the room with my others.
And we like Dolphin, we like, you know, staying a little bit
and about 5 minutes into this, we're all sitting just us with
around his bed and the numbers on the monitor start to plummet
in front of our eyes and we realize something big is
happening. So we just stop and the whole
family's together like we all like close our eyes and we're
like Shamari Shammi Lokin and Shamma Fad.
And we open up our eyes after Fad and all the numbers were on
zero. And the narcissist caught
rushing in and that was it. That was how he left this world
with all of us around him saying Shamma, we feel that for us,
that was it was a scoot. You know, the whole situation,
as hard as it is, we see it as a scoot for our family.
And to be able to be with him in that way at the last moment was
not something that everyone is is the head to.
I mean, obviously would be more the head.
We weren't in that situation. But but the whole situation of
him dying in battle and and saving his last hour of life,
You know, he was saving lives. He was doing what he had to do
with fighting for all of us. That's, you know, for us and
Hama that we have that scoot of that last hours and not just
that, you know, he had a lot of that for the 100 days before
that. It's it's really emotional to
hear again, you know, as we approach your music, our own and
and remember these these incredible stories to really
just beyond beyond words. I also you mentioned like the,
you know, the the friends coming out of Gaza and coming for an
emotional a goodbye is something that you know, you know, number
of Levi's that I had been to seeing these very, very strong,
tough soldiers who have been through so much show up at
Levias and and have to to deal with that.
Seeing them bring breakdown is obviously.
Those friends, most were not many of them were not at the
Levaya because they had to go already back, back to Wow and.
So just finally, you know you our tour guide, it was mentioned
at the Levaya that you have been for decades showing people the
beauty of artists are all including tours to our Herzl.
So you know, in the years, you know two years already 2 plus
years. Since how has this or has this
affected your sort of love relationship to artist style
given a greater appreciation a more challenging dynamic since
since this has all happened. It's a good question.
I think that for me it has strengthened more my cash share
because it's really sealed blood at this point even more than
ever before. I was always felt a very strong
cash share with Arizona my whole life and I think that something
like this only made it even even even even stronger in terms of
that, yeah. OK a timer, thank you for
sharing these, you know, precious stories, precious
memories of of Moses life and his death.
Wishing you and the family continued Hama and Hizuk and for
all clients how we should have a Yeshua Picaro.
Thank you. We are joined now by Rob Airly.
Rob, welcome to starting. Thank you for joining us today.
Thank you so much for inviting me onto your podcast, I really
appreciate it. So before we get into a bit
about your son, Binyamin Assemi Kombi, a little brief personal
background about yourself, your upbringing in the UK and your
aliyah journey. Sure.
So I'm from Manchester originally.
So I lived there 1st 22 years of my life.
But university there actually went to university Shiva.
After university, I went to actually Asia Torah for a little
bit and then to Darkenell Chappelle's, who was a
Chappelle's like 2 1/2 years. And that's where I met my my
wife or. Her uncle lives across the
street from the Shiva toy, introduced me.
So we ended up dating, getting engaged, and we had a choice of
living in New York or Manchester.
So New York went out. It was a close, it was a close
one, But so we lived in Brooklyn for a few years and then we
lived in Sears and we made out there in 2006.
So we've been here, we've been in Rimata Chevash the whole time
since we've been here without Linda, Eric over my Chilo and
we're very happy here. The three of our kids were born
in the US and three kids here and we have two, two
grandchildren born recently here all set up.
So that's the The Alley in a nutshell.
Right. And so, yeah, you know,
obviously it's hard to encapsulate a whole life in a
brief podcast episode. So I thought I'd sort of focus
on one sort of unique thing about your son Binyamin, which
was that he was very connected to a place called the Hava Shelt
Sweep. Maybe guitar listeners about
this Hava. What's it like?
And why was Binyamin so connected to that place?
Right, So he so just a little, I guess the background of
Binyamin, he definitely struggled in in mainstream
schools. He went to like a bunch of
different high schools and then he found a wonderful school in
the a lat which he went to and that really started
precipitating a real change in him.
And a few of the guys from the the Shiva, you know, Shabbos
says they'll go to to this farm by Shabsfi, which is, you know,
I don't know if you listen to this, think of a farm as, you
know, rolling hills and wheat and vineyards.
This is just a patch of land. It's a mile or two outside of
the Jewish community called the The Fate Surf.
Just just for our listeners, that's like Gochette steel,
right or? It's passable DM It's like 20
minutes passable DM Yeah, no, it's it's a small town called
wish that they'd saw fish most people would not be so familiar
with. And he's starting to go into
this farm and he and he really like fell in love with the with
the lifestyle, their goal. And they rushed out these farms
is they'll be, like I said, an eye or two away from the
settlement. They basically protect the area.
So a lot of the times they'll have sheep or cows and it would
graze them in the area and it would prevent the Arabs from
coming close to the settlement. So just as the, you know, the
settlements are here to protect us in the jammers and which lion
Teledyv. So these farms are here to in
many ways to protect the settlements, but it's extremely
dangerous place. I mean, I realized that in time,
but I think, you know, hearing many, many of the stories
afterwards, I didn't realize how dangerous it is over there
because you're literally surrounded by our villagers.
And before he was in the army, who'd go out, you know, without
a gun, he would go himself or just one person grazing cows.
And there are lots of hostile villages around that.
But then once he was in the army, he would oftentimes he
would come back straight from the army and instead of coming
home, he would just come home briefly.
He would go straight to the farm, spend Shabbos there and do
Shira, do guard duty on the farm on his day off with most of his
friends. And he was in the paratroopers
on her nib. So they would go home and sleep
in their comfortable bed and leave their parents food.
And oftentimes he would go to the farm and Shabbos morning
would involve walking the cows for a few hours and at night
would be doing the guard duty. His friends in his, in his unit.
And they were saying, I never said, you know, they, the army
was like, like summer camp for him compared to what he was
doing on the, on the farm. There's even a video that I
guess went viral after, after he was killed, the Shiva where
there's about you can hear about a hundred, 150 Arabs coming down
a hill, a mountainside coming towards him.
It's just him and one other guy. And, you know, they didn't run.
They didn't try and flee. We're not leaving these cows
there. And you hear them on the phone
with the army and they're coming down this hill screaming Alagba.
And it doesn't faze him. He, you know, he said, you know,
six months before the war, he said, you know, he's prepared to
die for play as well. Again, not necessarily something
that parent wants to hear. But this is just who he was.
There was just no chaining him. He had No Fear.
Yeah. So if I understand correctly and
this is wrong, or if I'm reading too much into this like you seem
to in high school had a very hard time with, I don't know,
maybe the more normal frameworks, the the boundaries,
the rules, the expectations of a more classic place.
And you find this, you know, village, which is literally, you
know, beyond borders, beyond fences, very independent, very
risky. So was that like one of the
reasons why he was so, so connected and thrived so much
there? Yeah, I think quite daily on the
head, the sense of freedom of being able to have, you know, no
boundaries as it were. And and I think also he really
believed in the ethos of the farms.
Like he really came to believe it.
You know, a lot of these, he was unusual in the sense of
unfortunately a lot of these kids come sometimes they really
come from a struggling background.
So a lot of these kids are going on the farms and you know what?
But he was thank God able to to maintain a, an amazing
connection with the family and with school and with the Army
unit and with with the farm. He has like, I guess a few
different aspects of his, of his life that, you know, often
intersected, sometimes didn't. And it was very comfortable
wherever he was. But yeah, he growing up, you
know, a typical school framework, it was not for him.
Definitely bounced around probably, you know, with ADHD
what he was and you know, want to take, you know, medication
for that. So we had, you know, so we had
lots of calls from principals and teachers, but he found
himself in the school and they left Spear and they left was
just incredible because again, they gave him the freedom in the
school. So I mean, it's interesting the
way, the way things develop because, you know, you take all
of that experience, challenging experience with frameworks that
are very demanding and very strict.
And you go to the army, which is maybe the epitome in Tanhana in
which is even more of a, you know, very, very demanding and a
lot of discipline and, and, and very little personal freedom of
expression and what you do and where you do and what you dress.
So how was he able to make that transition from the utter
freedom of the farm to the to the discipline of Tanhana in.
So, yeah, that's a, that's really a good point because,
yeah, he had this sense of, of freedom, no boundaries in the
army. Like you say, it's all rules.
But he thrived in that situation.
I mean, he thrived everywhere he was.
And he ended up being the the midstay and the best soldier in
his plug and his platoon. He got that award.
So you only get that if you, you know, follow the rules.
It was a great soldier that soldiers looked up to him.
We went to a BBQ right before he went into Gaza, one of the
soldiers caught his mother and said, you know, just if he's
scared. And he said, well, I'm scared,
but if I'm next to the young man, I won't be, I won't be so
scared. So yeah, he was able to impart
it. He was the one that was able to
rouse everybody and give his up to to the fellow soldiers.
And. Yeah, but it's a good point.
Yeah. Yeah.
At some point he had to. He knew that this army was was
rules and he had to follow them, even some roles that he didn't
like. But in the army just got to
stick with that and he was able to thrive.
And I think that shows very much about him.
He's able to thrive in all different kind of situations.
And there is it's. Interesting.
You know, one of the things that I've heard about these old units
and I've never gotten anywhere close to there with my very
lackluster, you know, physical capabilities.
But one of things I've heard that there is somewhat of a
place, you know, obviously the baseline and the general
framework is very, very regimented.
But there is a place for, you know, being smart and cunning
and and having that ability to maybe talk back in the right way
and at the right time and express yourself.
And, you know, and, you know, as we're talking, I'm remembering,
you know, my brother-in-law, Ali Moshe, I shall become Demo, you
know, knew how to stand up for himself.
And when something that he felt was not right coming from above,
he would find a way again, carefully, gently, in the right
way. So was he able to somehow take
all of that fierce independence and and find a way to channel it
in the army? So he knows if he did actually
have really good relationships with the with the higher ups,
one of the soldiers said that they would, they would, you
know, you won't even look in their eyes of the, of the people
were very high up in, in the paratroopers.
And he would speak to them on almost like on a first name
basis. And it's at one time there was a
hike and all the T all and all the top soldiers were at the
front March all at the front. And they called them, they
wanted early to come, come to the front so he could walk with
them. So they they were he was able to
build a rapport with them. You know, if one time they all
got in trouble and they got a lot of leave was cancelled.
And he was the one that went to the to the higher ups to plead
that case. We had No Fear that again, one
of his commanders visited him on the on the farm because I think
he was the only person he was able to visit the farm was was
was him again, because he had this connection with him.
And yeah, he was able to be be with the regular soldiers and
that and very much with the higher ups.
And so, you know, he was fighting, as you mentioned, in
Gaza. Tell us a little about what that
was like for him and for you before.
You know, obviously he was tragically killed.
But like, approximately how long was it?
What were they involved in? What was like for you as a
father being in that situation of a son at the front lines?
So, right, so obviously October 7th happened.
We got a call that night saying they were going into a
helicopter to fly into a place on the on the border.
A small settlement on the border actually wasn't really hit that
badly by the one of the only places near AB.
I think one of the screen people there basically saved the the
the so he was going into that to root out other terrorists.
He didn't. He went straight to the base.
It was it was on the farm for a similar story.
So he went straight to the base and, and that night they went
into Niram and he spent a week, 10 days, you know, being there
flushing out any remaining terrorists.
And then he went back to his base to to do training ready for
when they were going to go into into Gaza.
We saw him and we went to a BBQ. First of all, like all the
parents were there and I wanted to bring through everyone food
except somebody forgot to nobody.
He was told to bring the BBQ. So there was and then ended up
being a BBQ, but lots of, lots of.
So we ended up barbecuing it the next day.
My wife took it to the base and then the Friday before he went
into Gaza, which is probably like 4 weeks into the war
training. We didn't hear from him that
much. He was we had like a picnic
Friday Shabbat and that was really the last time that we saw
him. It was, you know, hundreds of
parents and soldiers and he went in there like a couple of days
later. But we were told that really at
the beginning he was him and his, a few of his unit were
there to guard the not his commander, but like one of the
heads of of the paratroopers. So we thought, OK, this is a,
you know, a cushy job. This is you're out of the firing
line here because, you know, obviously the higher ups, they
don't want to be a dangerous situation.
So he's protecting them. So we thought, OK, this is as
good as he would get in Gaza. But he was a negativeist.
He was a machine gunner. That was his job in the army.
And then right before Gaza, we used to give it to like the
toughest, strongest soldiers. He was given to somebody else
and we didn't know about what was coming up.
And this this other person took over his role as the machine
gunner. While he was protecting the the
commander, he broke his finger and so they needed to find
another machine gun. So the gun was really happy to
take that back. It was not happy just sitting
around guarding commanders. He wanted to go in, he wanted to
action. So he took the Negev back and
then that shot this morning, it was the there was the two or
three Arab terrorists who were in the house.
They were shooting at soldiers and they injured one quite
badly. I think he was shot like 9 or 10
times. Bokashemi's made a full recovery
again and he's had two kids since then.
So he so there was another group of paratroopers, not his group
that was going into this house to to root out remaining
terrorists was a Druze commander called Jamal Abbas.
And his right hand man was Shahan Friedman.
And then my Binyamin again as permission from his commander.
Can I go in with them? And he ran in with damage and
needs. He said, you need me.
I have the negative gun. I have the machine gun.
And so even though it wasn't, it wasn't his job.
Nobody else from his unit went in.
He just volunteered to go in. Unfortunately, there was an Arab
terrorist who was hiding behind the couch and he he shot and
killed all three of them. Wow.
So, you know, obviously these these these deaths are so
tragic. And at the Levi, I remember one
of the things that stuck with me is, you know, you spoke about,
if I recall, you know, correcting me in my memory here.
But you said you used to hate hugs.
But you, you know, you started to fell in love with them
already in that first, first, you know, terrible day.
So am I recall correctly? Can you explain more about what
you meant by that? Yeah.
You know, English, you're not the most cuddly type of people.
We don't, you know, we haven't seen a friend for a few years
and just, you know, shake their hand and pat them on the back.
There's no big hoax like the Americans do.
So I'm not really much of A hugger.
But, you know, obviously people coming up to me that day and it
felt, it felt good. People were hugging me.
I was. But I must admit, since since
then, I've got back to being a non hugger.
I've kind of known my, my, my family to not the biggest hug,
although I did actually go to, unfortunately, a few weeks ago,
a funeral of Russia. Pat's, it was a bad soldier was
killed and I, he was also in the paratroopers and so, but he is
in the paratroopers. I went over to his father
afterwards and I explained that my son was killed 2 1/2 years
ago. His father's a big guy and he
gave me this hug and actually almost like melted in his arms.
It was like, wow, pick it up. If I can get one of these every
day, this would be great because it really, you know, so.
But on the day itself was obviously I needed all the help
that you can get. It's not something that I really
even thought of. And obviously it was a
horrendous day and the sugar and carrying up, you know, bearing
the burden of our kids fighting and dying for place well.
And why don't you maybe talk about that arc which you just
sort of described, you know, the, the initial shock and then
the, you know, now things are different, You know, to what
extent the, you know, the tragedy has completely changed
you in ways that you're never going back, to what extent you
want to go back to some point of a routine and you're, you know,
still have a life to live and things to do here.
So like to what extent those two things are, I'm sure they're
both true, but like how you see, you know, the the events that
happened with your son completely changing you and in
what ways you've sort of, I don't know, stabilized or, or
gone back to certain things to, you know, your life is still
going and, and life does move on in a certain sense.
So I wonder if you could talk to that?
Right. So you know, what if obviously
it hits you, you know, the I didn't realize until afterwards,
like looking back how, how you know what's affected there after
a few months. I think I remember thinking that
was hard. I'm doing pretty well, pretty
good here, but then, you know, 4-5 months later I'm thinking,
wow, it really wasn't doing so great the first few months.
You know, I wouldn't say necessarily has that bad days
was obviously many times, you know, during the day when I
think of my son or a picture video because of the
conversation, it is very jarring and difficult, especially when I
think what it could have been. You know, sometimes obviously
are difficult and again, knowing that my son is not our say the
table and it's not at the birth of brace of his nephew and
that's never going to change. Obviously, you know, they talk
about having, you know, you could be a bit simpler and be
happy and obviously in pain at all at the same time being able
to feel two different emotions. But I think, you know, gradually
I, you know, think at a good place.
We me and my wife really try to come to our home.
We wouldn't think we are necessarily parents of, of a
fallen soldier. We have a lot of that thing and
singing and dancing in the house and happy, happy occasions.
But at the same time, you know, it's obviously always there and
always there in the background. But my my daughter said
actually, like a few weeks said, she said, you know, we're, we're
broken, obviously, but we're not, we're not, you know,
completely broke, completely devastated like a few other
families, perhaps because and we didn't, you know, fall apart, be
able to still try and get the most out of life.
And they saw that and they think that's make them happier and
people as well. Again, but I can't judge them.
People will go through all different kinds of situations.
You know, right at the beginning.
I went to visit Professor Alman, it's famous Nobel Prize winner,
also lost the sun in I think it's 2 Lebanon.
I just read a few things about him and I just felt like he had
like a very optimistic life, a view on life.
You know, a lot of people come to the Shiva and it also
obviously lost kids and you know, understandably, you know,
maybe been a little difficult to be around them, but I wanted to
go see someone who had an optimistic viewpoint and it
definitely found that with him. And that's been our mantra since
try and put a positive spin on things.
And we've wife now, especially as you know, she speaks.
A lot she's going to. America this Shabbos she's going
to the states to speak and then the following two Shabbos also
in America actually as well coming back for young Azika
Rania. That's what and I think people
are looking to her as a site of more than Faith and Bitter Hun.
And we also have this project as well that we we've been busy
with as well. And that's been very helpful as
well. Big and Yellow, which we've been
running. That's for you.
So yeah, we'll get back to you in a moment.
You know, you mentioned professor.
Allman, you know, listeners who want to go back into the
archives, we'd actually have an episode with a noble law
professor Allman and he did speak about that experience of
of losing his son and the famous story with Guzman.
So we'll we'll link to that in the show notes and and, you
know, everyone can go in and check that out.
But you did allude to the the challenge of a family Simcha and
the mix of emotions that that can that can lead to.
So it's actually interesting because you, you know, made a
wedding for Ben Yemen's brother Yuda.
I believe it was the same week as my sister-in-law, Aviva give
her a shout out got married, who, like the first, you know,
major SEM after her brother was killed, Ali Moshe Hashemi kom
demo, which was maybe the same night or within a couple nights
of each other. So I wonder if you could, you
know, tell us a little bit more about the the challenge.
You know, I've certainly heard from others that they, you know,
can be very, very have, you know, some real serious stress
around how to celebrate in the in the lead up to the Simcha,
the Simcha itself under such circumstances.
I'm going to share a little more about that.
Yeah. So this I guess it.
Was America. About 13 months ago now, so
obviously we wanted to bring in Binyamin as much as we could
into into the wedding. We had like a little stand with
like a picture of him and people wrote we had we actually joined
the shiver. We knew is we had like book of
people who could write a mitzvah a good deal that they could do
at this hot be down when we literally had like hundreds and
thousands of people renting in mitzvahs and we had the I think
we did the same thing at the at the wedding as well.
Standing up. The hub was very was obviously
very. It was beautiful, obviously and
very exciting. My son, very wonderful girl,
amazing family, but at the same time his presence was really
felt this, you know, missing under the copper, but especially
the last show of Raffles was done by his by Binyamin's unit.
Film came up. There was a lot of singing and a
lot of dancing. It was a tremendous like row
off. In fact, somebody like called me
out the bloody were like watching the video of it and
they felt like after watching that, they asked me like I'd
love to be able to make Alia like have a kid who was gonna
have a wedding like that. So it was exceptionally
emotional, more so than any other wedding.
And you know, we also just recently, like I said, my
grandson was was born and bit of Bris and he was his name's
Amici, but he's also Amici Binyamin mayor.
He was named after him. So also at the same time, you
know, the Sof, you know, is he assumption that'll be his name
will be in there somewhere, but you're thinking about it
beforehand. And and then obviously it's
emotional or having a child linked up to your son.
It's you know, we've had actually a number of kids, maybe
9 or 10 kids have been linked up to our son at this point.
But obviously when it's your own family and daughter doing it,
it's much more. And yeah, I mean.
It's it's beautiful to be able to to be able to celebrate some
of this. But at the same time, you know,
your heart is broken a little bit that he's not going to be
able to share in there and have his own samples, his own wife,
his own kids, his own family, grandchildren.
It's always hard to think about. Yeah.
And you know, the unit that came up, it was a special.
Thing to see and. Then the broth itself was by the
mufiqed Ivan Rosner, who we actually interviewed also on
this podcast about Benjamin and some other, you know, people who
he lost. So we also linked down the show
notes and and, and people who want us to that also, I can
definitely, you know, remember here Avram's perspective on that
whole ordeal as a Mfakah losing a soldier, which is the fast
hang dynamic as well. So, you know, in closing you,
you alluded to beeping. I mean, you know, I'm sure a lot
of people have heard of it, but those who haven't, even those
who have, can you clarify sort of where the idea came from,
what, what what it's all about and and sort of where it's
headed at this point? Sure.
So so about. Three years ago.
Before 3-4 years ago actually before the war even started.
So we bought a house we thought as an investment for AB and B.
It was a nice size 4 bedroom, 4 separate entrances, 8 bedrooms,
living room and three living rooms.
It's really a nice size. I thought, wow, we could really
buy the second. We were not even looking for
this. I really, we feel that I
shouldn't just put it into our heads at the time because you
knew what we was going to come up with.
You know, we worked on it for a couple of years once being able
and passed away. We after a few months we've
decided we're going to turn this and change tracks and turn this
into a retreat centre for soldiers, for bereaved families,
for Nova survivors, the wives of soldiers.
And so we've had literally the last two years constantly busy
during the week, Shabbos's. We have to have families,
especially towards the beginning of the war.
We have families who have been away from their spouse and kids
for hundreds of days. It's an opportunity for them to,
to reconnect. And I mean, it's really
beautiful house. It's like a really did it like 5
star combinations. And we, we pamper them, we give
them spa, we give them, you know, tours of fat and
glassblowing and we, all the food is catered for.
And we also have a lot of retreats as well.
We have like stripped for retreats.
We can we can host like 20 people sleeping and we'll have
to rent out the spaces if the crowd is bigger.
And we'll have we've had about four or five Nova survivor
retreats. But recently we have two parents
and Nova survivors who sorry, those who killed in Nova.
We've had we started a wives of no when we were struggling,
seeing their husbands being away and being able to manage a house
with young kids. So we've been doing like it with
two months online zoom course with therapists and then
retreats. We have also regular creative
retreats, soldier retreats, loan soldiers.
So it's constantly, constantly busy.
It requires obviously a lot of fundraising.
So I'm more involved in the back end the fundraising.
So I'm actually doing a well, actually, obviously Quran was
starting doing actually A cause match as well as amnesia
fundraiser for for the year. And, and the retreats involved
will have will have therapy, you know, yoga and breath work and,
and journal therapy and art therapy and, and, and again,
also the pampering that comes from the food, the barbecues and
the spa. And it was it's fat and, and,
and it's amazing. We have obviously it's a very
spiritual place. We have a lot of, you know, non
villagious people who come and they're just and they're really
affected by just being, it's fat and being in our place and, and
seeing also that it's this bereaved families who are who
are doing that. So we had we had a couple of
families who they lost their nephew, I think, and you know, 2
nephews. They both families came
together. They said months later, this
felt like saying show up and they didn't want to calm, but
they'd say, you know, we're just going to go.
And then when they saw that it was a family in their situation
who'd like built this place and put this all together, they said
after the Shabbos said that's it right shivers over.
That's it. We're going to we're going to
we're going to, you know, confront life.
We're going to change and we're going to make the most.
So that obviously means odd to us.
It's not a again, it's a two or three day, four day retreat.
It's not long term. But if you can be a place of
healing where you can start the healing process, that's really
what we're about. And we had one lady was a wife
of a soldier who was really depressed and didn't want to
come and her friends convinced her to to come to her retreat.
And at the end of the three, she said, you know, now I'm ready
for therapy. That was what she said.
So that's a big winful answer when someone can say that, you
know, we had a secular soldiers wives and came and while I'm
still in touch with my wife and she said she now has a she
learns every week after the brute, every once a week
afterwards. So this really has a, a very
profound effect on people's emotional and physical and
spiritual health. And unfortunately we're all
hurting, not just those who are lost, but you know, the whole
country needs it. We need like another 20 of these
houses at least. But but but yeah.
And it's, that's pretty much been young in a, in a, in a
nutshell. Wow.
So thank you for sharing all of these incredible stories and
the. Resilience and the faith that
you guys have, you know, expressed publicly for Kali,
Sir, all has been such a source of physics.
So thank you for for all of that and for all the work in baby
yummy and happy. We're going to include the link
to the cosmetics and below people who want to, you know,
take part in this special product are are certainly, you
know, welcome and encourage to do so usually end off with a
quick rapid fire around. So we'll have 3 short questions
and three hopefully short answers.
We're here in the summer. We have these nice long shots
afternoons finally. So what do you like to do at
that time? So I try.
And learn a little bit. With the kids and go to
Kabruzza. And I must admit, I like to
sleep. I like to be a big reader, so I
enjoy reading. So that's pretty much how I
spend time. Family, friends, join the
company. OK.
And what's your favorite? Safer.
I'm Harsha Chavoor. So in terms of I.
Mean at the moment I'm just going through like comments with
Rashi. So even though it's back-to-back
to basics, but it takes a lot of time, especially partials like
now it's like very, you know, definitely complicated.
So it doesn't leave me as much time to to be as safe.
I'm reading a little bit on the which I'm going when we spar
them on the on on the on partial Shahua.
So I'll look at that for showers.
But you know a couple of different tour at the rally also
John and Sachs as a Broadway Sachs as well.
Obviously he's, you know, going to the person to to read, but
the how much rash is taking a while is maybe one of the.
Most underrated things that a person could learn so much
there. And I'm happy to hear that
people are are focused on it. I usually end up asking guests
if they could choose any other job in the world, you know,
playing a dream as a kid. What would that be?
But I asked you to switch up this time and ask you, you know,
Ben Yemen, if you had a dream job to do professionally, what
do you think that might be? It was.
Talking about, you know, point of like.
Probably working with like at risk kids and and people were
struggling and maybe therapy or something like that.
I think that's where you would have headed.
We talked about also like just having a farm in his own in the
South of Israel. So make sure the two are
probably putting like kids who at risk on that in that kind of
farm environment where they which is like an amazing place
for them to to heal and to to grow.
So probably something like that. But yeah, now he's he's living
in the Shiva Shamala instead. OK, robbery.
Thank you so much. For coming on today, thank you.
Wishing you and the family continued physic and Hama and we
should only hear good news and thank you so much.
I really appreciate it. Thank you and.
And yeah, please if if I was interested in and donating to
our cause, you'll share the line.
So thank you so much. OK, thank you.
Thank you. Take care.
Thank you. Bye.
So let's go back to your Aliyah
story. You you alluded.
To this before, as we started to prepare back in Canada for your
aliyah, it was really about selling your house, selling your
business, wrapping everything up.
So tell me about that decision. Was that sign that you
considered me be leaving some of your doors open to come back to
Montreal, things wouldn't work out.
How did you decide to go all in and and really burn all the
bridges? Well, there's a story and I
don't know if it's true or not. But there was a war, and there
was a general who came in and came to attack the country on a
fleet of ships. And when he saw that his his
army was losing the battle on the coast, he set fire to his
ships. And when the soldiers on the
ground saw behind them that their fleet was burned and sunk
and that there was no heading home, they fought onwards and
upwards and they were ultimately victorious.
And I feel that, you know, when I people told me, why do you,
why do you sell your house? Why don't you just rent it out
to someone else? Why don't you, you know, why
don't you keep your business and run it from a distance?
When I made the decision to move to Israel, I wanted to make sure
that there was number coming back.
I wanted to make sure that I gave it my all.
So we sold our house and I sold my business and I said, that's
it. I'm not coming back.
I, I know why I'm moving to Israel.
It's the place that I belong. And once I get there and go
through everything to get there, I'm not going to come back.
So for me, there was no question.
I didn't want to leave the door open because when you get to
Israel, you have to totally flip your way of looking at life.
You have to flip your understanding of what material
wealth is. You have to, it's a totally
different culture. You have to, you have to change
everything about yourself. And if you're, if you are, if
you are even considering turning around and coming back and
saying, hey, listen, if it doesn't work out, we can always
come back. I don't think you'll be able to
give it your all. It's just something that's
something that doesn't work. So you're worried about that.
I made, I made sure that there was no coming back.
Were you worried about your Paranasa?
Yes, but you develop a in in extremely new sense of Vitaphan
and Amuna. About Paranasa, I think that you
need to make a plan. I don't think you can just show
up here with empty pockets and expect things to work out.
It probably won't work out. You need to make a plan.
Now whenever you invest in a new business or you start a new job,
you don't know if it's going to work out.
So I guess you can call that worried.
So I formulated a business, I came up with a business plan.
I spoke to a bunch of people, I got some investors and I came
with a plan. Now, the plan that I made didn't
exactly work out exactly how I intended to work out, but I
would tell people that you need to make a plan.
You can't just come empty handed.
Now, if you're a professional and obviously if you can work
remotely, you don't change anything about your life.
Nothing is going to change for you.
If you're a professional, whether you're a doctor or a
lawyer and you want to get certified to, you know, come to
Israel and work here in Israel as an Israeli, obviously you're
going to have Hebrew. For me, I'm not a nine to five
kind of guy. I can't punch a clock.
I need to, I need to be my own boss.
I need to run a business. The part that didn't work out is
basically, and I went in the same direction, but I've had to
pivot, especially two months after I got my business open,
the war started and my entire business originally was totally
dependent on tourism and tourism fell through a crack.
So obviously, you know, you got to survive, you got to you got
to keep on moving. But I think if you have the
attitude that you understand that life is not smooth and
there are bumps in life. And if you have that attitude, I
believe that you can make it, make it work anywhere.
But it's definitely, it's definitely worth to come armed
with a plan. You have to have you have
direction. Great.
So I do want to hear more about that plan and.
The cracks in the plan and the pivots, which we're going to get
into in a moment. But you did say something very
interesting. You spoke about how Elia is a
complete mindset shift, whether it's your B Tahoe and your and
your your headspace. So I like that a lot.
And I want to maybe challenge it a little bit because one of
these stigmas about Bechammesh is that people come there.
They can live in Israel, but not be Israeli.
They want to sort of retain so much of their American life
while being physically on the land of arts Israel.
Whereas you're coming and saying you didn't move to Bechammesh,
but you also had this seismic shift in, in, in, in your, in
your outlook. So you talk a little more how
you've experienced that or how you see other people come to
Beichemesh. And on the one hand, it's
understandable to try to transition with the comforts of
American life, but also understanding, no, no, there's
something really deep here. And if you're not ready to make
that mindset shift, you're not doing all that properly.
Well listen, people joke and say that there were no missile.
Landings in Beichemesh because Trump told Hamas that they can't
attack any American targets so. So if you want, if you really,
really love America, so stay in America.
If you love America but understand that you don't belong
there, you belong in Israel. So make aliyah coming to
Beichemesh your transition will be easier because there are a
lot of Americans if more people would make aliyah, the
transition would be even better, easier.
There would be more financial opportunities.
The schools would change and we can get into that later.
Everything would be different. If a wholesome amounts of people
would come and move here, it would change the flavor.
But you have to understand that even though you've come to
Vechemish and there's a lot of Americans here, it's still
Israel. You're still going to have to
deal with Hebrew, you're going to have to deal with schools,
you're going to have to deal with the government.
You know you want to get a. Driver's license or a.
Passport or you just want to go on a vacation somewhere.
Most people you're going to deal with really can't communicate in
English. You know, you have to understand
that the attitudes that the driving is different, the
attitude of, you know, whether you it's rude or not to block a
street. American ideas and manners just
don't apply here. I don't think Israelis are rude.
I just think that they're totally different and America is
a totally different animal. So you have to understand, you
know, if you've only come to Israel on vacation and you
stayed at the Waldorf, you don't understand what is really is at
all because you had someone pick you up, you had someone drive,
you didn't have to deal with traffic or delays or, or
complications or getting a flat tire.
You just never had to deal with that.
But once again, that's, that's regular daily life.
I mean, even if you live in New York, you know, you're going to
have a flat tire, you're going to have to deal at one point
with getting pulled over by the police or going to a government
office or a doctor's office. You know, it's just you have to
understand it's different and you can't expect everything to
stay the same. You have to understand that.
I mean, my wife, since my kids were babies, she would always
tell them that Aretisol is where we belong and where that's our
place for us and we just don't live there yet.
So they understood when we came here.
Then I think that the, I, I think the only China that I
have, I and I don't blame someone for growing up in
America. I did also.
But I think the attitude where people are not taught that
ultimately Aretisol is our final destination is where we get into
problems. Because if people understood
that and people understood that we have to get to Ariti Stroll,
you know, you don't have to get into all the Google Talk and all
the doomsday talk and you don't have to get into any of that.
Even if everything stays status quo, everyone has to know that
Ariti Stroll is a place where a Jew belongs, where he has the
best learning, the doing the best mitzvahs.
And it's a gift that Hashem gave us.
We say it every single day in Shma, We say it in, you know,
it's, it's everywhere. And just like people just, you
know, kind of skip over that they don't learn Tanakh, Yeshiva
system doesn't teach Tanakh. I mean some.
Some parts of the school system do.
Teach but the haredi system does not teach it at all and at
minimum they don't they don't tell anyone that every sister
all is where we belongs the attitude and everyone's thinking
wow, why don't why don't more people make aliyah?
It's because no one ever told them.
It's, it's, it's like news. It's, it's a total news flash
that anyone should make aliyah and that that has to change.
But obviously you also have to understand that just helps you
understand in your mind that there's a next step that has to
be taken once you get here. You have to realize it's a
different country. This country's only been around
for 75 years and they haven't figured out everything that
America's figured out. You know, like I always say,
like they, you know, you can't even like mail a letter without
making an appointment at the post office.
I mean, this, they've built this country.
You look at, you look at the skyline of Tel Aviv and you see
they've built skyscrapers out of the desert.
But why can't they just figure out how you know how to mail a
letter without without a problem?
Like, you know, I don't know, they just haven't figured it
out. You know, it's like an American
mind who's fully American, thus doesn't understand Israel and
will get very quickly frustrated and become angry.
And every time you get in your car and try to drive down the
street, you're just going to be miserable all the time.
And you have to come here with an attitude that that Israel is
a different country and it's the place you're supposed to be.
Nothing is perfect. And get with the program.
It's called adopting. You know, when you join, you
change careers, you have to get used to a new culture in your
office. So it's no different than that.
You can't say, well, how come you're not like my old job?
How come you're like my old, my old office didn't do it like
that. I don't know.
They, they don't do it like that.
These changes have to be made. You're, you're literally going
to the other side of the world and into the Middle East.
You know things, things are different over here.
So I really like that answer and towards the end.
You, you were talking about how like we're, we're younger, we're
still developing, which is certainly true.
But in the beginning, when you start to describe the
differences, you, you surprised me a little bit because you
didn't say, you know, it's worse.
And after Charlotte and KSB Surim and you have to deal with
it, you said it's different and the manners are different and
the life cycle, the lifestyle is different and the culture is
different. You didn't say better or worse.
You just said different. And then you continue to say
it's just a mindset. You know, it's a mindset.
Was that a mindset you had to train yourself with or was it a
mindset you always had to be able to be so flexible and
adaptive? Because it's very inspiring.
It's very refreshing to hear, but I'm wondering if you can go
a little more to where that comes from.
No, that the mindset that I have today is not the same mindset I.
Had when I got here, the mindset that I'm promoting right now is
a mindset that will help someone survive because when I got here,
Mayamuna be talking, we're nowhere near that now what
everyone throws this line around as soon as you get here and you
start having difficulties that they say, oh, Eric T Stroll's
Nick Nabee is surim. You know, first of all, I really
think that's Aristole's nicknamekasev.
If you have money over here, that solves almost every issue.
You do observe that people get here and they start having
issues and I believe very intensely that Hashem when you
get to Hashem's Holy Land, we know it's a land that spits out
the people that don't belong here and absorbs the people that
do belong here. And I believe that there is a
spiritual purification process that has to happen when a person
gets to Aristole. And whether you like it or not,
you're put through the washing machine and you need to develop
as a survival technique. And Muna Vitakan, which we
should have had all along. We should have had it from day
one, even before we got here. But the attitude of that
everything, that Hashem is in control of everything.
And you definitely feel it more over here.
You know, you need to have that. You can't, you can't continue
with an American mindset and come to Eric T Stroll because
Eric T Stroll will teach you who's boss, Hashem's boss.
So you know, once again, everything that happens in a
person's life is obviously meant to be, but the entire, your
entire mental health is fully based on how you observe things
around you. Meaning you can, a simple thing
can ruin your day or a simple thing could make your day.
You know, you find a parking spot or you don't find a parking
spot. You know it's a difference
between you know, it's, it's all about attitude and attitude is
created through a Mona Vitakan, the way you observe the world
around you. So you know, it's, you
ultimately have to get to that point of understanding that it's
only Hashem that wrote that rules the world and it's not
your bank account and it's not your people that you know, it's
just you and Hashem and you have that relationship.
And every time you dive in, you understand that you're
developing that relationship further.
And as far as I'm concerned, no matter where you are in life,
you're not going to be happy unless your attitude aligns with
those ideas of trusting in Hashem and believing in Hashem.
And that's the beginning and the end of everything.
So if you can work on that before you get here, Matova
manayim. But, you know, if you don't, if
you just show up here and you expect things to work out
because you're American or because, you know, you're paying
for something or just because, hey, I have an American
passport, no one really cares. You know, it's just you become
one of, you know, another 7 or 8 million people who live here and
you need to make it work. It boils down to your
relationship between you and Hashem, whether when things work
out or don't work out for you, whether you get upset about it
or you say, hey, that's what Hashem wanted.
I'm so I'm, I'm fine with it. You know, most people realize
that. You know the.
Word aliyah. It doesn't.
Just mean moving they're going up they're coming for some
bigger purpose and they know that's going to come with
changes and people know themselves they can they how
much change can they handle it's it's definitely it's something
different and that's why people are willing to come even though
it will probably cost a lot of sacrifice but it's worth it this
is home OK and you live in ormap HMS which is a wonderful place
but. Also, every day a bigger and
bigger and bigger place with a lot of subsections and
community. So I don't think we've had a
guest yet from your community in what's called Mem Shalosh,
although we did do a wonderful event.
And thank you for your help in arranging the the wonderful
Shiratrikorski, which many people have benefited both in
person and the recordings. And we we can link that as well.
So that was very, very special to connect with the Shark Tank
and Mem Shalosh. But maybe for listeners who are,
you know, considering different communities in different areas,
tell us a little bit about what that's like and why you chose
it. That's a good question also.
Yeah, there are a lot of different.
Neighborhoods in rapid shamish, you know, it's a lot of them
have. Certain things in.
Common, as you know, a lot of Americans throughout the Chemish
and then Memshelosh as well. It is a, you know, pretty
diversified neighborhood. I would say there is a Talmatura
like a theater in the middle of the of the neighborhoods,
regular Haredi theater that has, you know, there's many families
here that that send their children to there.
And there's also, as you had held host of the event at Ruby
Gottlieb School, which is kind of like a more regular Datilo
me. So I mean, but you know,
Datilumi Shul neighborhood, they have another shul that's moved
down recently called Shari Tila. It used to be up the hill.
It's really quite a big mix here.
There are other neighborhoods that say maybe a little younger,
maybe people with mostly younger kids here.
We have a lot of young kids, thank God, a lot of teenagers
also, and slightly, slightly older families.
You know, it's, it's, it's Pechamish, it's, it's taught,
it's, you know, it's right near parks and stuff.
I don't know what else is super helpful about it, but it's to
share. But it's, it's a nice
neighborhood. It's way too expensive, which
is, you know, the connection between where I live, what I do,
just trying to help people being able to, to move here and buy
houses, especially the way houses and mortgages are done in
Israel. It on the one hand, it's maybe
good for me that we own a home here and I'm sure it's worth a
lot of money now, but it doesn't help me if I'm not going
anywhere. But it is expensive.
Part of what I work with people to try to to try to be able to
afford it. It would be nice if there are
ways to keep prices kind of more stable, but I don't know, hasn't
worked yet, but it's a nice neighborhood.
That's a great segue to our next topic, but I just wanted to sort
of zone. In on on one thing, which is
what specifically Jovi there was the fact that by golly was
starting the show or was the building project that attracted
you? What exactly brought you there?
Honestly, we were looking at that point.
For House. We we gave up on the market
coming down and we finally just decided that even though for as
much as it's cost, we could have bought a whole block in Memphis,
you know, we found something. And yeah, we knew people who
moved Herbie Gottlieb's community.
We're not like directly on that in that in that development, but
we're very close by. And they're actually building a
neutral even closer to our house than to, to their original
neighborhood. That's definitely part of it.
There are people I knew from where we used to live in
Hermachilo and who I knew from either from Kby or from Yu and
Ruby Golly, who of course himself is great.
It was definitely part of it. But you know, it was a nice
diversified community with the house that fit our needs.
You know, I would say we could have ended up somewhere else in
Hermaphaelish also. But we're we're glad we're here
and it's very nice. Got it.
OK, so the next part of this conversation, we're going to
shift gears a little. Bit as sort of pick your brain
as a professional, specifically a financial professional,
someone who spent a lot of time speaking to families, planning,
executing and living in Israel, making aliyah from America, from
other places. So it's a few topics in that
that we're going to talk about and I guess I want to start with
the following. I think you know, you and I
both, you know, you made aliyah on your own and I was Zoka to
come with my parents. You know, many people have made
aliyah. Many people have been successful
here, many Israelis who were born here, you know, they live,
they're not destitute, they're not on the streets, they're very
happy. So, you know, are there any,
what are the real, you know, I would say like, why not?
Like are there any real financial reasons that you're
not, we're not talking to you as a an educator, which you also
are, and a parent, which you also are.
But from a financial perspective, are there any real
reasons why a person should be saying, Oh yeah, it's not for
me. From your angle, that's a tough
one, but you know, I'd like everyone to.
See if it's possible, but you know, it's a little bit like
moving anywhere else. If you can't afford it, you
can't afford it. And there are, there are people
here that can't afford it. I, you know, I deal with people
and I see people's, you know, lifestyles and spending habits
and there's a really a ginormous range of, of what people spend.
You know, a lot of Americans that come here, you know, they
really make sacrifices and change their lifestyle or some
of them make enough money. They could, they could, they
could keep their lifestyle, but it can be very expensive.
But there aren't people, you know, especially I've met with
people coming from out of town, let's say even if they own a
home, you know, they're their home.
There is just not worth anywhere near what what it would cost to
buy a home in places like around Pechemesh.
Now, depending on what their family situation is, it could
be, you know, you may know this better than I do, but there are
places outside of kind of the major popular Anglo
destinations. If you're not looking at, you
know, television usual, I am Modi in Renana Pechemesh, you
know, that that'll be cheaper. But but I don't know that that's
for everyone. A lot of people like coming to
to these places like Bachemish and some other Anglo heavy
cities, you know, because it's a a softer landing and easier
transition. The schools are, you know, maybe
a little more similar to what they're used to and at least
speak their language. And these places are expensive
and even people with really good jobs sometimes have a hard time,
you know, being able to afford a house or or, you know, the cars
are very expensive here. So it really does depend on what
you come with and what your earning power is here.
Like you said, there are plenty of the national average salaries
here is very low, 1213 thousand shekel, you know, talking about
less than $50,000 a year, which, you know, in America, if you
listen to various read various studies or listen to your
podcast talking about what it cost to be Jewish in America
with tuitions and things, it's, you know, it's much, much, much
higher than that. So there are certain things that
are less expensive here, like tuition and maybe healthcare,
and there's certain things that are much, much more expensive.
And it really depends, you know, if a person is flexible and has
the ability to pivot to a career that makes more money here and
to pivot their lifestyle to really, really scale back.
There are come people that come and don't have a car.
People come and move into much, much, much smaller homes.
People who are willing to accept that they may may not own a home
for a long time. You know, there's certain
government programs that will try to help people, you know,
have easier entry into our first home.
But some people might come and say they're just going to rent
and the rent is cheaper than buying.
You know, it's it's something I meet with people a lot about is
can I afford to make aliyah and try to like, really understand
what their lifestyle is, how that could be adapted in Israel,
what their expected incomes or assets would allow them to live
like here. There are cases where we'll say
like, wow, this would take a ton of sacrifice, a ton.
Or, you know, so again, there's places like that all over the
world in America. Not everyone could afford to
live everywhere either. So I'd like to be able to try to
help everyone do it or figure out how to do it.
But I can't say it's always possible.
And I could say it usually will require, you know, some
sacrifice or some changes to 1's lifestyle, even if it's just one
car instead of two or an attached house instead of, you
know, you know, a standalone house.
Like, you know, these things are different for some people and
it's impressive that people are willing to come different stages
in life and and make these sacrifices.
But I can't say everyone could do it.
That would be, I think, a little bit of a jump, right?
It's very interesting. I mean, you said that it really.
All surrounds you know a. Four letter, a four word
question. Can I afford it?
And I think the word within that sentence that that strikes me
the most is, you know, it. What is the IT that we're trying
to afford? And you made reference this in
the beginning, you know, is the question of Aliyah, a question
of being able to move across the country to a totally different
type of society, financial system, economy, and to live the
same life that I was living in a totally different country.
As you said, this is a question that anyone who moves from any
city to other cities. So within America there there's
there's some things that are common, but somethings that are
very different in the prices and in the markets and in the
commute and in the transportation systems and all
these different things. So, you know, when I have these
conversations with people and and I'm not qualified to to have
them, but people who reach out to me from the podcast and and
wanted to talk about. Oh yeah.
So really the question comes down to, you know, do you want
to move to a different country but continue the exact same
lifestyle? I don't think that's a very fair
or realistic question to ask. So like, how is that?
Is that what you see also in your conversations?
And you're right. Not not, you know I don't.
I think you're right, most people.
Realize that you know the word Elliot.
Doesn't just mean moving like they're, they're going up,
they're coming for some bigger purpose and they know that's
going to come with changes and people know themselves.
They can they, how much change can they handle or how much do
they think they can handle? They, you know, try to figure
out, you know, I would say most people realize that they're not
really just, it's not just the same as moving from Memphis to
Cincinnati or from the Teaneck to Fairlawn.
You know, it's it's definitely it's something different and
that's why people are willing to come, even though it will
probably, you know, cost a lot of sacrifice, but it's worth it.
You know, that's that's it is something more than that.
You know, it's this is home. This is where we think, you
know, we believe the future of the Jewish people is is going to
be and those who want to be here on the playing field instead of
in the stands. So they come even if it means,
you know, not having the exact same condition.
So you're right, it's not, it's not just like any other move.
I didn't mean to compare it completely to that.
But at the same time, we also have to work out the numbers
because at the end of the day, you need a roof over your head.
You got to buy food, you got to, you know, have a way to get
around the job and things like that.
And then depending on one's skill sets and resources, it
could take different levels of sacrifice.
So I would like you to tell. Us a little bit first of all
about you were involved in Ali like you your family's here it
was always an option it was never an option then we kind of
catch us up a little bit and then where you're where you're
at right now because none of you I guarantee I've heard of the
community that he is living in right now and it's definitely
going to be an interesting thing to hear about so I was born in
New York City I live my. Most of my child in Boston, MA.
I met Aliyah in 2007, Koff Gimel of 2007.
I was at the time 12 years and nine months to the day, three
months before my bar mitzvah. Exactly how do I know that?
Oh, because you're about to come to a place and have a.
Bar Mitzvah with nobody you know, That seems like a good
indicator. There's a better story though.
OK here. We go so.
I am from a yakish. Family and the Yakish Minhog.
Is to dua nahas tilen 3 months before the bar mitzvah.
Oh, you came on your bar, Bayoum on my SO I really wanted to do
it on the plane in the galley. And my father was like, no.
No, no, no, we're going to go to the hotel can get our first day
in Israel. It's going to be so special.
It was raining. It was August.
OK, OK, but so we got. To Ben Gurion and then.
We went to our house in Beiche Hamesh.
We dropped a bunch of suitcases there, but we're still waiting
for our lift of course. So we went to an.
Apartment in Urshalane for a few weeks.
With like some suitcases, but some suitcases in Beiche Hamesh.
The suitcase in Beiche Hamesh had my pants, your pants, my
pants. So I woke up in the morning and
I only had shorts from the hotel.
Big problem, right? Right, right.
So you start wearing a shook skirt one.
Of those baggy pajama pants, the Dropkick Murphy's so we.
Worked it out. We found a pair of pants.
Whatever, it all worked out in the end, but.
It was certainly an inventiful 1st 24 hours in Israel to say
the least. So I actually did 7th grade.
In America, I did. 7th grade in Israel.
I stayed back here to give myself an extra year.
I started middle school after Aaliyah.
My transition was overall very smooth with a lot of siak de
shmaya. A lot of gratitude to my parents
and my teachers. Your whole family's here, whole
family's here. You all you guys all made
Eliyazi. As a unit, my parents live in
Bechemesh. I have four siblings all.
Married one lives in Gabat Shamwel and everyone else lives
somewhere far and random. It's pretty far a MO.
Russia have heard of moral outside of Haifa and Banana
Sarim, which we can get into a little bit, right?
And then the boring one in Gabat Shamwel.
Yeah, seriously, That guy or girl?
So we're all over. We're all very.
Well acclimated bar Hashem with a lot of you know, again, the
people who do what you have. Done and others who?
Come on their own, you know, post yeshiva, it's a, it's
something I truly look up to and salute, not saying that I had
any Sayonov. I, I was brought with a very
loving family and a home to Israel, which puts me in a, a
different zone with its own challenges, its own
opportunities, which we'll get into also.
So I did middle. School in Bachemesh I did high
school in. Ushalayim I what?
What? What sibling are you before?
You're the oldest. Yeah.
The deadline was my parents. My.
Parents said if we don't make all that by Akos bar mitzvah,
we're done. Was it a hard transition for you
getting here? There's a lot of people.
Who think by the time their kid is 12 it's already off the
table. So I'm not here to tell anyone
what to do. I think that if you have the.
Mindset that it's possible and your kids are in like a good
emotional state and academic state.
With preparation with Saffish Maya, it can work.
I've seen it work like before we made Alia.
So first of all, my mom and his school in Boston, MA sound to
them. Very good Hebrew program
overall. Really.
In addition to that, my parents hired the local show Lumi, like
vignette Kiva girls once a week to like tutor.
Like informal tutor. We used to play popular.
You knew you were coming. Yeah, like the popular Israeli
computer. Games we would play with them
in. Hebrew, like after school once a
week. That's so funny.
Yeah, that's so cute. Your parents just came.
One time and said this or was there like a family discussion
or like it was on their mind always?
Well, did you take a lot of trips beforehand?
We took one big family. Trip when I was. 10 it.
Was actually during the week of the Gus Katif Gerouche Mahat.
My issue now is actually people who are kicked out of Gus Katif
are the founders of my issue. So it's a bit of a full circle.
Wow. So that was summer, fall that
that was a pilot. Trip.
No. And it was like it wasn't
really. A pilot trip.
It was like a soft pilot trip. Then Thanksgiving 2006.
My parents came on the. Official pilot trip.
They came back and basically said like this is it, we're
doing it. March of 2007, my dad came for
some work interviews. I came with him, took us in
schools and August 2007, here we are crazy.
You beat semis. Grammar beat semis.
Beat semis. I was that that was probably a
good smooth transition. It was a very smooth.
Transition. I'm very grateful to my friends
who. You know, we had a baseball
team. We had, you know, a sports
cover. You know, I was a big Boston
sports fan. So when I made aliyah, the Red
Sox won the World Series. Two months later, the Patriots
had their eighteen O 1 season and the Celtics won the
championship in the summer. So only Tom Brady let you down
that year. Yeah, it was big bummer.
Not a common statement, that's. For sure one giant.
Loss. Ouch.
Yeah, that was love. Wow, OK, fine.
So you made it. That that.
Is a big Boston year and then just high school here?
Whatever. And then the Hebrew.
I'm sure Hebrew wasn't really on par, but there was good programs
and everything. It wasn't a big issue.
Yeah. So overall it was very good.
There were certainly challenges. I would say that there's like a
big question for our US, you know, guys who made aliyah as
kids about integration. You know, the parents obviously
have a harder time with their Hebrew and their cultural stuff.
And for me also, I got finished 12th.
I was in 12th grade looking for yeshiva.
And one of the big draws to Karen Biovano was like, they had
these Americans and I was certainly much more comfortable
socially, even after 5 or 6 years with the Americans and
with the Israelis. So I was sort of in the middle.
The the real solution to that issue came actually to my wife.
She really like pushed me as like, you know, we didn't hear
enough years. We're not going to have our kids
growing up with like American accents.
Like we really have to like take this next step to integration.
So I won't say that I was like so smart about it or such a
Sonic about it, but it's a it's a challenge.
There are people who grew up in Beicheimash, born in Israel, who
have like those low level American accents, the first.
Girl I ever dated. Oh, she doesn't do.
This from her whatever and I remember like going out and like
she was speaking Hebrew. She understood everything,
whatever. That's usually the case.
But her Hebrew wasn't like really Halak, you know, it
wasn't. So I was like, what are you?
What are you doing? That's how I'm supposed to
sound. You know what I mean?
I just got here though, right? So my crap to my wife, who was
like, we're not going to be that zone.
We're going to take it one step further.
Also, you know, we got married. We're in the Caribbean, Nicola.
So most of like the living families on campus are Israeli
families. So tell me then a little bit
about your what? How, how long were you dating?
So. I'm I'm leading the question
somewhere because I want to get to something, but how?
How long? Were you dating I mean your wife
like dating in general? Dating was like a year.
I found my wife after around 9 months give.
Or take or remember the exact and you were dating Israelis or
always Anglo. I dated 1 Israeli.
And was it a funny story? No shy, like no shyness.
I don't know She she didn't give it enough.
It was A1 done so. I don't really know but she was
farty. Also the only farty girl I
dated. And then we went on a columnoid
circus. So we went to Cafe Angels behind
Takarama Kazi and we sat in the Circa with coffee and and a
Rogoloch. And she takes out the Rogoloch
and makes them Mizonos. And she puts brings up close to
her mouth. And I was like going to say like
Alicia, Alicia, it was like here.
And I was like, just keep your mouth shut and.
Then afterwards I realized that's.
Farty women don't make brachos on delicious on missile.
Says She has my own grandma, so it's a good thing I got my mouth
shut, but whatever. I was my only Israeli date.
Yeah, that's so funny. And you felt though, like.
You. Were going to get somebody
Anglo, it was going to be somewhere like me, somewhere in
between. She also from.
So my wife is when I met. Aliyah, she was my.
Across the street neighbor we lived a one side of her whole
Roshan and Bechamish. She lived on the other side.
I actually my first initiation with her family is that when we
got to the house, the first lady, like down the stairs with
a smile and a welcome, was my future mother-in-law.
Nearly one summer later, she was looking.
For a babysitter for. A son she had five girls at the
time was less and two boys, one had special needs.
Avram Zimbalist, my heroic and famous brother-in-law.
And so she wanted Zimbalist like Fairlawn cousins.
Oh. That's so funny so.
She who was your shadow fee? Yes, I out to Michael.
And AJ and Jared and Nikki. But.
Then so she. Wants to like be more available.
To take care of Avram with Down syndrome was one year old at the
time. Think one or two.
And she wanted, like, some, like a babysitter to play with her
older son. Her older son is Ellie MO.
Ellie Moshe is in bless. So he was like the shotgun who
brought me into the family. What's his name?
Ellie Moshe. That's so funny.
It's my brother's name. Yeah.
Ellie Moshe. So Ellie.
Moshe was killed in Gaza. Oh wow.
And he's the one who really brought me into a very, very,
very special family. So serious nightmare.
Wow, that's your brother-in-law. Probably a hard When did that
happen like? Within the last year or two,
June 2000, right after show us, but yeah, that's a whole yeah.
Though what I was trying to. Understand is that you came 7th
grade, 12 years old. Did you feel integrated even
though your Hebrew was probably good enough?
How to get by? Did you feel integrated enough
that you could have dated straight Israeli and just jumped
right into that world? Or there's this like buffer zone
of your parents are Anglo. Either you're the generation
that made it or you're not. But you're you know what I mean?
There's still a lot of like American.
I think it's war cultural. It's not about language, it's
about your. Mindset or could I have made a
work within Israeli Of course bro who set it up?
I probably could have I would have been open to the idea, but
I certainly felt more comfortable my background my my
life up until that point. OK.
And you want your kids to have the full full?
Spectrum. So their Hebrew is very good,
their culture. Is very Israeli.
We're trying to get in some Anglo medos.
That is my. It's so funny because when I
first like. Got to Israel.
There's a component if you're not like diving right into BTMS.
So the company is like, I dafka don't want an American bubble.
I want a little more Sabra, a little more Israeli, whatever.
But there's dafka things that are like about the, you know
what I mean, that the angle bring to the table and that is
not present here that I think are very valuable and important.
And you know, that's what they're offering to Israel as a,
you know, as a broad group. Better show up in customer
service sooner or later. All of you were watching.
I'm not coming. Come here and just get on the
phone and start talking to people because that needs
improvement for sure. It's a great story, by the way.
I don't know like a. Good dear family friend,
there's. Actually a guy in Ari Deverit
from Bichema don't feel Rea. So Rea made aliya from Canada
Deverit RE deverit sure. So he made with the exact same
minds, and he's like Israel such.
A great country. I believe he's from Canada.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, I'm going to make
Israel better and I'm going to open up a his first project, his
first like entrepreneur business was he opened up a auto king in
Beijing mesh and he's like, I'm going to open up a car shop
where people can feel like, you know, normal customer service.
Now Ellie, Ellie, Moshe and Ari were very, very close.
Our they were like best buddies. They were 40 year age gap and
they were, they were close buds. But also it's about like the,
you know, the ability to add value.
So like I, I live now in the sea Shu of a very like Israeli and
they say, they asked me to give share.
If the rub's not around for Shabbos, I'll I'll sub in or
whatever. So like all I have to do is like
open up like salvicic, like something like, whoa, that's
brilliant. Because like guys in America,
like they've heard this stuff before.
But like for the Israelis, they're like, wow, that's
tremendous. So for me, it's easy for them,
it's enjoyable. So there's no shortage of
opportunities for people who want to take some of the best of
their angle upbringing and bring it to Israeli world in whatever
way the opportunities are out there.
Yeah, I. Definitely.
Feel like most of the time people who are in America.
Thinking about Israel, I mean, it makes sense, but it's
something that I think, you know, could use an adjustment,
which is that generally their mindset is what can Israel offer
me? They're not necessarily thinking
about what they're going to bring to the table and how they
could add to and, you know, help build what's going on here.
But you spend a year till you realize how small it is and how
much gaps there are, how many gaps there are that you could be
the one to play a, you know, a significant role in.
I feel like often in America, people are not really thinking
about making a a difference. Gaga, what's a good community?
I don't know, here, here, here, like, OK, it's everything just
like more or less operating already.
And someone might hear that and might think, well, you know, I'm
not a big. Entrepreneur.
I'm not like one of these guys, but here's the big mistake that
people make all the time. It's true someone in America,
but it's very true in Israel that the country is so dynamic.
So you might conceptualize your choice of a community like a
vending machine, Like there's C4 and I'll click that and I'll get
that sewed up, But it's so much more fluid.
And so whether you like it or not, things are changing.
And when you're here, you're by default a part of that
conversation, a part of that story.
You're going to show up. You're going to, you know, have
your voice heard at a town hall meeting, at a show board,
whatever it's going to be. So like, it's not like a
question whether you want to like make a difference.
Like you're, you're going to be part of a very rapidly
developing country society community.
And it's just a matter of like getting that in your head as
soon as possible.