Each chapter has three defining features.
First, each section shapes the hero, making him into a bigger,
better person. Second, each chapter is unique
with his own themes and subplots. 3rd, and most
importantly, each chapter is loaded with opportunities to
fulfill our mission on this earth and grow closer to a Shep.
We are so busy with seemingly mundane activities that between
work and family, we have very little time and energy left for
Torah, Fila and other spiritual pursuits.
So how do we flip the script and find opportunities to serve
Hashem during this part of our life?
Shol Malikham and welcome to Stark Tank.
Stark Tank is a podcast by the challenges and opportunities of
being a mentor in the workforce. This week I want to share a post
I wrote for the Stark Tank website.
If you've already read it, don't turn this off just yet.
This edition includes some bonus content, an expanded
introduction, a special piece of feedback I received, and some
additional thoughts that I had that were triggered by the
message. Last Shabbat, I was asked to
speak to the overseas students at Mahon Lev.
I was thrilled at the opportunity, but not for the
reason you might think. Obviously, it was great to speak
to budding Benito in the workforce, connect with some
existing listeners, and see some familiar faces, but the real
value was the opportunity to consolidate Bakashem.
We've already released over 120 episodes, and lately I've been
thinking about ways to reflect on these hundreds of hours of
conversation and distill the core messages into a more
compact format. I'm hoping to do more of this
with the help of AI, and my friend Zach from So for AI has
been very helpful in that regard, but what follows is
completely from my heart. Seasoned listeners will
recognize themes and ideas that surfaced across many past
episodes. So after speaking to the guys
from Mahonlev, I had the opportunity to take the train to
Chilean for a bunch of meetings this past week.
I love taking the train and the smooth fast ride was a great
setting to type up my thoughts and even sharpen them a little
more. I posted it on Friday and was
not expecting what happened next.
I got loads of comments, far more than any other long form
writing that I've done in the past.
Many people just reached out to say thank you and that they
found it meaningful, which is always a good sign.
There were also more substantive comments, and I'll share one of
them at the end of this episode. I hope you find it meaningful
too. If you want to receive more
written posts straight to your inbox, make sure to go to
starktink.org or follow the link in the show notes and subscribe
today. Here we go, B'ne Brock, summer
of 2014. In the summer of 2014, I spent a
Shabbat in B'ne Brock. I was in my first year of Hezder
at Ishibat Karambiafina and I tagged along with the bneh
cotslarats for their Shabbaton. At one of the meals, a local rub
was invited to share de vrytora. He spoke by the centrality of
talmatora, encouraging everyone to make the most of their years
in the Bateman Josh. He looked around at the room
filled with sincere guides, which in the ages of 18 and 20
and said these years when you are exclusively focused and
completely dedicated to your learning, this is the climax of
your life. The rough from Nabrock finished
up, said good Shabbos returned to his home and the suda
continued. Later, one of the KBY rabbis got
up to speak. He said that he respectfully
disagrees with the guest speaker.
A person is constantly supposed to be growing and it would be a
shame if the rest of his life was 1 long regression from his
peak in yeshiva. This left a deep impact on me.
I was torn because I could identify with both sides.
On the one hand, for someone like me who fell in love with
learning, there's nothing that compares to those days, nights,
and weekends of uninterrupted learning.
On the other hand, it certainly doesn't make sense that the
climax of our life could come so early.
In retrospect, this incident is one of the defining moments that
led me to start starting. The time came for me to leave
yeshiva, and it took over a decade.
The voices of these two rabbis wouldn't leave my head.
Stark Tank is part of my quest to gain some level of clarity on
this and other big questions for Benet Torah who have left
yeshiva to pursue a career. Through my conversations on the
podcast, as well as my own learning and writing, I've
developed a few possible approaches to that Mahocus in
Benet Brock. In this episode I will share a
number of ideas that connect to one larger theme, and it starts
with one of my favorite ideas related to Mata Torah, Torah as
a way of life. One of the reasons for staying
up all night on Shavuas is a strange madrish.
The Major says that Moshe had to wake up the Jewish people to
receive the Torah. This is puzzling.
With hundreds of thousands of Jewish weddings taking place
every year, it would be shocking if even one or two brides needed
a wake up call on their special day with Sput with such buzz and
excitement. The problem is usually the
opposite, not being able to sleep.
So how could it be that on a historic day of revelation, the
entire nation slept in Ravshim? And Schwab explained that Moshe
Renu was not serving as an alarm clock, rather he came to correct
a fundamental mistake that the Jews had made.
Ravshwab explains that when Moshe told the Jews that they
were going to hear directly from God, they assumed that this
meant prophecy, and the way prophecy is received is when the
prophet is not conscious. So the entire nation got into
their pyjamas, said Hamapial, and went to sleep.
But this was a mistake. Torah is not the same as Devoe,
and Torah cannot be learned while sleeping.
Although many attendees of Shiram and Drashos may beg to
differ, this is not just a technical difference in the way
Dvarsham is transmitted, rather reflects A fundamental
understanding of what Torah is really all about.
Torah is not just a book that we learn, but a way of life.
The fact that we were awake when we received the Torah is an
indicator. The Torah is not meant to draw
us away from the realities of day-to-day life.
This dynamic is precious. Many religions believe that the
only way to live a spiritual existence in this material world
is to withdraw as much as possible.
Torah offers an entirely different framework where our
lives on this earth are filled with meaning and connection to
Usha consistency of change. If Torah is a way of life,
there's something about this world which is quite obvious but
needs to be stated. The only thing that is
consistent is change. All the modern technologies that
we live with is only one clear example of how dynamic our life
is, but there are many other ways where we see this.
For example, the weather was cold a few weeks ago, and a few
weeks it will be hot. Our physical bodies are also
changing, so much so that my children and I need to see
different doctors. So if the Torah is a way of
life, and life is dynamic, then our relationship with Torah must
also be dynamic. I worded that last line
carefully. One of the Ramam's 13 principles
of faith is that the Torah does not change, but the Torah is
structured in a way where we have constant values with very
different expressions of those values from day-to-day.
This is also, by the way, how Torah has survived for thousands
of years and various exiles on different continents.
Chapters of a book. Now let us return to the story
in Bnebrak. Based on the framework above, I
prefer to think of the transitions of life like a book
with multiple chapters. Each chapter has three defining
features. First, each section shapes the
hero, making him into a bigger, better person.
Second, each chapter is unique with its own themes and
subplots. 3rd, and most importantly, each chapter is
loaded with opportunities to fulfill our mission on this
earth and grow closer to Asha. This is where I disagree with
both of the Rabbis and Bnebrak. They were both placing our
entire lives on one linear chart.
I think that life is too complex and nuanced for such a
framework. Thinking of different life
stages as chapters in a book allows us to appreciate
different periods on their own terms while keeping in mind the
bigger picture and overarching themes of our entire life.
Opportunities of the working chapter.
This brings me to another question which has been a
central theme of Starktank. What are the opportunities for
total living while also growing in your career?
The challenges are clear. We are so busy with seemingly
mundane activities that between work and family, we have very
little time and energy left for Torah, Fila and other spiritual
pursuits. So how do we flip the script and
find opportunities to serve Hashem during this part of our
life? Even though at first glance the
question seems daunting, the truth is that there are golden
opportunities everywhere. I will lay out just a few in the
coming sections. Shabbos Shabbos is one of the
staples of our religion. Most of the people listening to
this have experienced Shabbos once every seven days for their
entire life. And yet our relationship with
Shabbos takes on a new dimension when we start to work for a
living. What does it mean to do you work
for six days and the 7th is for Hashem?
What does it mean to remember Shabbos all six days of the
week? How do we understand the
difference between kodesh and hull?
And why do we add to the kodesh from the hull Mustafin Mikhal al
Kodesh? What is Manuka and does it align
with the Western ocean of rest and relaxation?
What is Abdullah and why is one who makes Abdullah promised male
children? These are just a few questions
that one can gain a new perspective on.
Sure, when we put away our notebooks and get dressed up for
Shabbos and yeshiva, it's a special experience.
But there is a unique opportunity to appreciate
Shabbos and connect with values when we arrive after six days of
hard work. Kittashasham, the second mitzvah
and value with great potential in the working world is Kiddosh
Hashem and Yeshiva. This is expressed through nice
behavior and cleaning up after yourself on a bananas montel at
work. It's all day, every day.
There are non Jews, secular Jews, and other types of Jews.
The volume of interactions is immense and the situations can
be infinitely complex. There can be various
stakeholders in any given situation, all with different
goals and expectations. On top of that, money, sometimes
big money, is on the line. Making a kid Hashem in these
situations can be very challenging, but there is a
corresponding reward. Hashem knows our challenges and
judges us accordingly, and the people around us usually
appreciate the character expressed under adverse
conditions. Yeshiva Olam Another mitzvah
uniquely accessible to professionals is Yeshiva olam.
One of the reasons a gambler cannot be a kosher witness is
that he is not being a productive contributing member
of society. The Rama in Perisher Mishnaus
St. Hejid para Gimmel Mishna Gimmel
says that all worthwhile pursuits in this world fall into
one of two categories, one learning Torah and spiritual
pursuits and the other is Yishuva Ola.
The Kolbo in Simsamek writes that one is not supposed to work
on kolomoi in order to do more learning, but if he has taken
off to do trips and activities, it would be better for him to
work and be productive. Is there a source in the written
Torah for this value? I think it is rooted in the
mitzvah of Pru urvu. Our responsibility is not just
to populate the world with more humans, but also to create the
world that will allow them to thrive.
Developing the economy is critical for the well-being of
our children and future generations.
This idea is also alluded to in Rashi Yavamos Dasana Fez
Amidalif. In the modern economy, it can be
hard to feel satisfied at work. There are a number of reasons
for this. Being one individual at a large
corporation can make an employee feel small.
Working in AB to B space, where it is hard to see the effect of
our work on a real on real people is also a challenge.
But the fundamental equation has been true from the time of Adam
Harishon until today. Contributing to the economy is
part of what keeps the world going for us, our children and
generations to come. Talmatura Opportunities.
The sections above presented just a few of the mitzvos and
Torah values which can be embraced and fully appreciated
during the working chapter of our life.
But what about talmatora? It is certainly one of the
central mitzvos, and yet it can seem daunting to grow in our
learning when we are so busy with work and family.
Here too, it is important to look for unique opportunities.
Maybe this deserves a full podcast, but for now I will
briefly point out a few ways in which a person's learning can be
significantly improved while working.
The first is that learning as a Bala bai forces you to find a
deep personal connection and true satisfaction in your
learning. Otherwise it's just not going to
work. Another aspect is learning with
your children and paying their tuition.
This is one of the most important aspects of tamatora,
since this is what the Pasak actually instructs us to do
Bishina Tamluvaneka. And finally, there are many
parts of Torah pertaining to work and business and other
professional fields which can be understood a lot better while
working. For example, there's a
disagreement amongst business leaders about the importance of
loving your job. Steve Jobs was a was a major
proponent of finding meaning, purpose and passion in your job.
Scott Galloway, a professor and entrepreneur, says that you
should be making money, doing what you're good at and do what
you love on the weekends. What is the Torah have to say
about this? Well, there are actually a
number of Torah sources that point in different directions. 1
mission in Perky Gabos says to love your work.
A different Mishna says to minimize your work as much as
possible in order to make time for learning Toro.
These mishnas seem to echo the same debate that we see amongst
modern business leaders. We'll hopefully dive into this
more in a future post. Afterward, that Shabba, Suda and
Maybrock led me on a journey which is still ongoing.
I am still trying to find my place in life after leaving
yeshiva nearly two years ago. My years in the Bait Madras
shaped my worldview, but I think it's important to treat that
foundation as a starting point, not a finished product.
Yeshiva guys, or I'll speak to myself.
I was young and easy to get excited about simple ideas.
These ideas resonated in the sheltered atmosphere of the
Bateman Josh. But life afterwards is not so
clear cut and nuanced. Frameworks can be helpful in
understanding how to serve Hashem at each stage and
chapter. That is the end of the post.
I got a great message from my friend Reuben Mehlman, and he
writes as follows. I really enjoy all of your
podcast episodes, but I especially appreciate this piece
because you're talking about your own approach to work,
hearing about the moral qualms and ethical struggles going on
in your head. I want to jump in here and point
out that these are two very different things.
I totally get why listeners want to hear more about the
struggles. There's something comforting
about hearing that other people have their own sorrows.
But hearing more of my approach is a separate question, and
honestly, I'd love to hear from you, the listeners.
Do you want to hear more of my voice, my ideas, and my
lackluster sense of humor? Or do you want me to keep
bringing on smart people and getting out of the way?
I genuinely don't know, and I'm happy to hear from you.
No, Ruben continues. I am starting my first job this
summer. It's a big deal transitioning
after six years in yeshiva. On the one hand, it feels
daunting. All beginnings and changes are
hard, but on the other hand, I've been preparing for this.
I've developed a Derek Hollywood that can work even when time is
limited and a general hash cuffic approach to being in the
workforce. I will add that Ruben is also
well prepared because he listens to Stark Tank every week.
Ruben goes on to mention that Revola Piansky opens Bento for
Life with a heavy description of a young man leaving yeshiva
deeply emotional about the transition.
But for Ruben, having gone through Yu and consciously
preparing for this day, the transition feels less drastic
and a much smoother take off. Still, he writes, there are real
challenges and he appreciates hearing honest and grounded
thoughts on these topics. I'll just add that I have my own
relationship with her. Lapianski's hakdama.
I transitioned to the workforce straight out of 11 years in
Karen Biavenet, no intermediate stage.
Did I experience the same shock as Yaakov, the character in the
opening of Bentora for Life? Yes and no.
On my last day, it was hard. Taking my SARM out of the
Bateman Josh was an emotional moment, but overall it wasn't as
difficult as I expected. And here's the thing, that's
only part of the story. A few years earlier, I opened
the Safer for the first time. I read through the 1st paragraph
and my throat got tight. A few more paragraphs in and my
eyes were wet. By the time I finished, I was
crying. That was its own important
moment because it was one of the sparks that pushed me to take
this topic seriously. I started Shark Tank during my
last half year of Kohl, and by the time I was packing up the
boxes, I had a much healthier perspective.
So thank you to Ruben for this feedback and thank you.