1 00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:04,040 Shalam Alaikum and welcome to Starktake, the podcast about the 2 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:07,440 challenges and opportunities of being a bentura in the 3 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:10,000 workforce. There's really only one thing 4 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,240 that you need to know about Doctor Edo Levi. 5 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:16,760 He makes braces fun. The rest is commentary. 6 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:20,280 Today we talk about his journey to orthodontistry. 7 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:24,480 We discuss the key finding joy at work or anywhere and his 8 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:28,720 Dafyo Me podcast off splaining before we jump in work reminder 9 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,760 that the best way to support stark thing is by subscribing 10 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,800 meeting the faster of you sharing your favorite episode 11 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:37,560 with a few friends. And now here's this week's 12 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:40,120 conversation. Doctor Ido Levy. 13 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,560 My name is Jaco Wolf. This is stark thing. 14 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:01,440 So I tried to get a podcast studio that would allow us to 15 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:04,040 set up with an orthodontist chair and allow Doctor Ida Levy 16 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:06,520 to interview me like he normally does with his fingers in my 17 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:07,920 mouth. But we weren't able to get that 18 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:09,440 to work. In any case, it's a great honor 19 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:11,800 to have Doctor Ida Levy, my orthodontist, here with us on 20 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,360 Shark Tank. Welcome and thank you for 21 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:16,040 joining us. Thank you so much for having me. 22 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:21,120 I joked with you before about how once I saw all the 23 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:24,400 incredible rabonim and inspirational figures that I 24 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:27,480 look up to so much as they started piling up and then you 25 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:30,400 had a Nobel laureate recently, I knew it was only a matter of 26 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,760 time before I get a phone call, right? 27 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:34,280 So. You've been an orthodontist for 28 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:36,760 how many years now? I've been an orthodontist since 29 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:38,960 2003. I graduated NYU School of 30 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:43,480 Orthodontics in 2003 and you mentioned you were in my chair. 31 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:47,000 That's because most of my career I was blessed to work in Ramabeh 32 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:52,320 Shemesh from 2003 to 2019. In fact, the funny story about 33 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:58,760 that, I was deciding when we're talk about the decision process, 34 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:04,280 but the decision came late. And so the decision to move to 35 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:07,800 Israel was towards the end of the orthodontic school. 36 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,960 So towards the end, so the way the scholastic year works is, 37 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:15,720 you know, is like, let's say in the fall you go by this, but in 38 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,520 orthodontics. So in the summer that year it 39 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:22,000 was done and Nephesh, but Nephesh was in its second year. 40 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:27,400 And I'm a close friend of Rabbi Fast and towards the end of 41 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:31,720 orthodontics school is when we started thinking where we're 42 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:35,440 going to be settling down because I've been in school for 43 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:37,600 so long. I've been in school for many, 44 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:40,240 many years. Orthodontic school is several 45 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,720 years after dental school. So dental school is 4 years and 46 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:46,960 then did residency in another three-year program in is usually 47 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:51,080 the case for specialty. So we were in school forever and 48 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:54,720 we already had four children and we had just, you know, turned 49 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:57,600 30. And at the time, to that point, 50 00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:00,440 much like my mother had predicted, I had not yet held a 51 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:06,240 job. So I was thinking where we would 52 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:08,720 settle. That was a big part of our 53 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,440 decision now that we're going to make our first opportunity to 54 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:16,520 make money. And so we decided together that 55 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:20,200 we should give Israel. And you know, that was always 56 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:24,120 our dream. And so that was very, very 57 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:27,480 inspiring moment for us. And we've been inspired by other 58 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:31,320 people who had come before us. Michael Selesny, Oliver Shalom 59 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:35,000 bears mentioning somebody who passed away very young but would 60 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,880 have been a much better Stark tank candidate than I am. 61 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:43,120 And and so we we moved. The funny part of the story, I 62 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:46,600 suppose, is that the Nefesh Nefesh flight was before 63 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:51,080 graduation. So I, when I moved, maybe like 64 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:55,000 half a week before I officially graduated, and then the chairman 65 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,520 of the department called me and he said when I was in Israel. 66 00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,720 And he said, you know, you didn't finish the program. 67 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:02,640 And I said, oh, you're so funny. I pretended like it was a joke. 68 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:04,760 And then he laughed along with me and sent me my diploma. 69 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:09,720 So immediately after orthodontic school at NYU, we started living 70 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:11,960 and working on my beach, which was a great blessing. 71 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,520 But we have to be very serious here for a second, because 72 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:15,760 you've been doing this for 20 years. 73 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:17,959 Let's be brutally honest. Who is your favorite patient of 74 00:04:17,959 --> 00:04:20,160 all time? You know, it's very funny that 75 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:27,160 you ask because you are Aviva Learner's favorite patient. 76 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:30,960 She was the man. She was the office manager. 77 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,560 My favorite patient was the Homo Zimbalist. 78 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:39,760 So I have to say, you know, a lot of parents don't pick 79 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,560 favorites. And I have to say, I feel 80 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:48,040 blessed to really feel real, genuine feelings for my patients 81 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:51,440 and care about my patients, but I'm not afraid to rank them. 82 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,560 But you were ranked #2 I'm sorry to say. 83 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:58,080 And that Kama Zimbalist Zozai gives up his ramp #1 But you 84 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:01,160 married up, so kudos to you. Right, for those listeners who 85 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:02,920 don't yet know, Nahama Zimbalist is now Nahama Wolf. 86 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:06,280 She's my wife and and the, you know, the the fusion of us 87 00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:09,520 together creates a super patient of magnitude that Doctor Levy 88 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:11,560 could never even imagine. So we are very grateful. 89 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,520 And I would always tell the shalt Han around by Shamesh, 90 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:16,080 including your wife who tried to set me up a number of times, 91 00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:18,560 that I would only go out with girls who went to Doctor Levy 92 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:21,000 for their braces. That, that, that's very, that's 93 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,760 a very smart strategy. I don't want to disparage 94 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:27,840 anybody else, but, you know, I, I think the way that you 95 00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:31,480 developed is a real testament to how much you got out of the 96 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:33,560 experience. So I'm very proud of you. 97 00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:36,440 I'm also very proud of myself that I made it. 98 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:43,000 You know, most people don't realize what a big solicit is 99 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:46,600 to, to get to this level of stark tank. 100 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:52,280 I was starting to tell you that it is almost, well, it's 101 00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:55,200 undoubtedly true that I'm the least qualified person that 102 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:58,280 you've ever had on this podcast, but it is also undoubtedly true 103 00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:00,920 that I'm the most enthusiastic. Maybe those things correlate, 104 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:05,840 but I've never been so excited. As I told you, I've been a fan 105 00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:08,760 of yours from when you were young and watching you grow up 106 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:11,560 and do this very serious thing. I wrote a very serious note to 107 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:14,160 you because this endeavor that you're doing, that you're trying 108 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:17,880 watching you navigate life like this and try to help others do 109 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:21,120 it, it's very inspiring. So I'm really just honored to 110 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:24,400 and and any opportunity to talk to you is the opportunity that I 111 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,120 welcome. Amazing, amazing. 112 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:27,720 So let's get into it. You said you started to talk 113 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,520 about a decision, but let's go really go back there. 114 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:32,520 You started in the place where most great things start in 115 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:35,000 Shabak, Karan Bhavana and then you ended up going down the 116 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,160 orthodontist route. So may tell us about that what, 117 00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:41,760 what went into that decision? OK, well, a lot of times and I 118 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:43,760 prepared by listening to start tank. 119 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,480 People think and young people think this in general. 120 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,760 What went into the decision? Like it's a linear thing. 121 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:53,800 Pros and cons lists are important and that's certainly 122 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:56,800 true. But at the end of the day, I 123 00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:01,440 feel like you get carried into whatever whatever drives you. 124 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:06,600 At least in my particular case, I had no idea and I couldn't 125 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:09,600 even tell you how people have an idea of how they choose their 126 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,600 career path. So what happened specifically to 127 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,440 me? You mentioned Karen Biobna was I 128 00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:18,680 met my wife because she was a sister of a good friend of mine, 129 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:22,400 David Dickstein. And so I was very young and I 130 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:26,720 and I, as I mentioned, my mother had mentioned that not only did 131 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:29,960 I have no aspirations of employment, I had no prospects 132 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:33,520 of employment at any point. That's what she was trying to 133 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,640 explain to my in laws because we were so young and it was 134 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:39,160 frightening to a certain extent for sure. 135 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:44,240 So I asked my Rebbe at the time, I read Blockman what to do. 136 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:45,800 And I think that this is something that's really 137 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:49,160 important and this is something that you speak about all the 138 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:50,880 time. Obviously, consulting with 139 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:55,160 people, going around to people and seeing how they're actually 140 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:56,920 living their lives in the professions that you're 141 00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:59,200 considering. These are the things that I 142 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:03,360 would recommend. My father passed away also when 143 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:07,280 I was 19. This was very destabilizing, 144 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:10,160 obviously. But specifically with regards to 145 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:13,400 your question, as far as career, right, He passed away very 146 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,080 suddenly. And he had been a neurologist, 147 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:19,320 OK? So I just assumed I went at 19 148 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:21,880 from always assuming that I would be a neurologist and work 149 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:24,880 with my dad because why not? I never really gave it thought 150 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:27,240 or really cared specifically so much about what I would do. 151 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,240 I figured I would just find joy in whatever I did. 152 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:33,960 And then when he passed away that was immediately vanished. 153 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:37,360 I realized I didn't care at all about medical school. 154 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:40,120 And so now the whole world was open to me. 155 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,120 I thought I was going to be maybe a rabbi because I was in 156 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:45,680 yeshiva and I was inspired. Or maybe I'd be like a therapist 157 00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:50,360 rabbi, like like a rabbi wine rib in Baltimore, something like 158 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:51,560 that. You know, that's, that's what I 159 00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:53,600 that's the direction I was going to. 160 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:56,160 Now my mother happens to be so long as the therapist. 161 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,640 So I wanted to be a therapist rabbi. 162 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,560 In that moment. My mother sat me down. 163 00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:06,080 She said therapy, it's not for you, you know, one patient at a 164 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:09,720 time every 45 minutes. It's it's a nice idea, but it's 165 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:12,600 not for a Jewish boy like you. So that's what my mother told 166 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:14,600 me. And then I spoke to her 167 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,360 blockman. He said, Finnock and her bonus, 168 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:20,920 that's not for you. In retrospect, I guess everybody 169 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:24,880 who I asked, for whatever reason, thought that what they 170 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:26,840 were doing I wouldn't be good at. 171 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:31,440 So we're at my blockman. He said a very interesting 172 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:34,240 thing, and I think that might be instructive to some of your 173 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:39,440 listeners. He said the page stinks and it's 174 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:44,120 a difficult life. And I was not expecting that to 175 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:48,600 hear from my Rebbe. It was just real talk, you know? 176 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:56,280 And, and then he said, it's the kind of thing where if you want 177 00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:58,840 to do it, it has to be the kind of thing where I tell you all 178 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:03,400 the reasons not to do it and discourage you in every possible 179 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:06,240 way. But you feel it in your bones so 180 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:09,640 passionately that you say, no, I'm still going to do it. 181 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:15,640 And so I think that speaks to how passionate, how passion can 182 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:17,440 drive you. And if the passion drives you, 183 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:19,040 then that's the right thing for you. 184 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:23,000 Well, in my particular case, I didn't have any specific 185 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:26,640 direction at that time. And so I asked him, well, how am 186 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:30,000 I supposed to get married? I met this girl, and he said, 187 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,080 we'll bring her here. So we went to Mclaughlin's 188 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:36,800 apartment, and this was before we even got engaged, I think. 189 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:40,280 But we were serious. And he kicked me out of the 190 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:44,440 room, and he met with her. And then he said, all right, 191 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:46,840 bring him back in. And he said, OK, just do 192 00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:51,160 whatever she says. And so I think that can be 193 00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:55,400 instructive, too, because marrying Stark is a very, very 194 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:57,680 important thing. And like I said, I congratulated 195 00:10:57,680 --> 00:11:02,440 you for doing that. So if you were to ask me, this 196 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:06,200 obviously doesn't apply to everybody, but in my particular 197 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:11,680 case, the reason Atara and I when we were talking was leaning 198 00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:15,280 towards this dentistry had nothing to do with the love for 199 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:19,440 teeth, although I do, I feel very blessed to have developed a 200 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:22,200 real passion for what I do. But I'm always about the people 201 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,040 anyway. So it gave me an opportunity to 202 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:26,000 and and you were kind enough to say that we've had 203 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,000 conversations, but most of them have been one sided because my 204 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,400 hands were in your mouth and that doesn't bother me either. 205 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:33,680 But the idea was to be able to go to Israel because at the time 206 00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:37,480 the reputation was, well, it's dentistry is good in Israel. 207 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:44,680 And so after we graduated dental school, then I started realizing 208 00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:47,880 my area of interest, and then we decided orthodontics together. 209 00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:51,960 And then it went back to the original plan of Israel. 210 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:55,040 And the fact that we were able to carry out a plan that even 211 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:58,440 before we got married, we were able to do, is not something 212 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:02,480 that everybody can necessarily pull off. 213 00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:07,600 And you do have to be emotionally flexible, I would 214 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:11,680 imagine, and we had to be very flexible in other areas, 215 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:15,640 including moving to Israel and back and hopefully back again. 216 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:21,080 But the short answer to your question was Ataras idea of 217 00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:25,360 going into dentistry has turned out to be I think a great idea. 218 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:27,280 And I want to pick up on two of the things that you mentioned 219 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,680 there and all very interesting things. 220 00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:31,040 One is that you said that specifically before your father 221 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:33,080 died, you were able to, you assume you're gonna be able to 222 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,520 find joy in everything that you did. 223 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:36,440 And then you also mentioned the fact that it's always about the 224 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:38,000 people and being with people is always great. 225 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:41,240 You know, Lo tove Adam Levado is always a big curse. 226 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:43,840 So according to that line of thinking, and I think about this 227 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:46,120 a lot, also, if you have a certain temperament, you could 228 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:48,440 find joy in meaning and happiness in any profession. 229 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,800 Whereas some people think, well I need to be an XY and Z 230 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:52,920 profession in order to find meaning it to find happiness. 231 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:56,400 I think you're bringing up a stellar point. 232 00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:01,080 You know, Stark Tank is designed to help people make decisions in 233 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:07,240 life, and the decisions aren't necessarily always what's going 234 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:10,360 to define you. The way you deal with those 235 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:13,440 decisions and the consequences. Sometimes unintended 236 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:16,560 consequences might be how they define you. 237 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:19,400 I actually prepared to photography of Yaakov that has 238 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,240 to do exactly with that point. Yeah. 239 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:22,760 Yeah. I gave this a lot of thought. 240 00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:28,280 It's Noah, so it's going to be a little outdated, but this is 241 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:31,400 Sunday, so we're OK. You sent out something to me 242 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,040 about Parsha Snarf, that event that basically amounted to 243 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:37,360 putting in the work, right? Noah built the Teva. 244 00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:42,800 The Parsha Snarf says that he was kind of caught off guard 245 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,440 when the rain came, right? Mcnay Mayhem, a bull. 246 00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:49,480 He entered the Teva because of the stormy waters. 247 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:50,800 What do we mean because of stormy waters? 248 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:54,400 Hashem told him when it was going to be right and so. 249 00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:56,880 And he built it for 120 years. So what do you think he was 250 00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:58,560 building it for if not to enter the Teva? 251 00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:03,320 So Rajshri of course points out that he was maman, but ain't no 252 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,240 maman. He was a little bit from a Tane 253 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:09,080 Yamuna in the sense that he wasn't so certain of himself. 254 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:10,760 We'll put it that way. We don't have to get 255 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:14,080 philosophical. But the point is that he didn't 256 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:18,320 have that self assurance of courage of his convictions, But 257 00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:24,400 all the while he was building. And so I think if you were to 258 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:30,400 ask me, for example, am I fulfilling my, my mission in 259 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:33,080 life? It's hard to know. 260 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,800 You just have to always do the best you can and continue to 261 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:40,680 build. You know, if you're just a bird 262 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,640 that's circling around the Teva over and over and over again and 263 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:47,320 chasing your tail trying to find perfection, you're not going to 264 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:48,800 get anywhere. You know, the Yana went out 265 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:52,880 three times, had three missions. First it came back with nothing. 266 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:55,720 Then it came back with an olive branch, and then it came back, 267 00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:58,400 and then it didn't come back at all the third time. 268 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,840 Well, which of those was the successful mission, Yaakov? 269 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:06,480 So I think we think in a linear way, like one of three, same 270 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:10,800 mission, same hishtadlas, 3 entirely different outcomes. 271 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:16,840 And yet in my opinion, all three were successful because you 272 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:18,360 learned something from all three. 273 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:21,200 So if you're paying attention and you're learning along the 274 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:24,320 way, then I think that's a successful thing. 275 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:27,480 And I can't imagine Hashem would ask anything more of you. 276 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:32,640 So I don't know if that answered your question, but it's about 277 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:37,280 the making the decision is about finding joy in what you're 278 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:38,880 doing. I always think if I was driving 279 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:44,400 a truck, I would listen to Stark Tank all day long and all the 280 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,600 podcasts. I would, you know, if I did 281 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,880 something like a menial task where I had an opportunity to 282 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:52,440 listen to podcasts, then that would be the joy that I would 283 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:54,560 find in that. I don't think that that would, I 284 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:58,000 don't think that that's, that not dealing with people is 285 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:01,360 really what I'm suited for, but I would find the joy in that. 286 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,600 And so I find the joint people as you mentioned. 287 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,480 And to me it's all about being surrounded by people. 288 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,640 That's also been very helpful in my decisions. 289 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:10,360 Remember, I told you to be very careful. 290 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,320 I needed to be on this. If I was going to do your 291 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:15,080 podcast, it'd have to be before our dear mutual friend Stephen 292 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:18,960 Glanz, right, who is a stark tank candidate of the highest 293 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:20,480 order in business and in learning. 294 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:21,840 He's a Rebbe now I'm with a Sarat. 295 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,920 He sold his company to Oracle. I recommend everybody to Google 296 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:27,960 that. But the reason I allow myself 297 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:33,960 that joke of of making fun of Steve is because I've been 298 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:40,200 blessed to have such dear friends and friends that those 299 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:44,640 people that are that surround you, a true friend. 300 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:48,320 Not only is somebody who can tell you you did a good job. 301 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,560 I don't have anybody in my life that's going to tell me I did a 302 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:52,480 good job on Stark Dank. They're going to tell me I was 303 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:55,840 too funny in the times of war or they'll tell me I was too 304 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:59,520 serious, that if you're having me on, then you're not having me 305 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:01,040 on to have a serious conversation. 306 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,520 Now you're only having me on for jokes. 307 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:05,560 They'll tell me every criticism on to the Sun. 308 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,720 And that's a beautiful thing because these are friends that 309 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,119 are comfortable, right, correcting you. 310 00:17:10,319 --> 00:17:12,440 They know you. They care enough to know you and 311 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:15,480 to give you corrective advice. So I don't know if it comes up 312 00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:19,800 on Stark Tank too often, but social person such as myself, 313 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:21,800 for me, it's all about the people that you're surrounded 314 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,920 with. And and that peer group is also 315 00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:25,599 very, very important. Right. 316 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:30,960 I, I think you also spoke about the, you decision to go into 317 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,680 dentistry and it had all these different factors. 318 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:34,520 And so it sort of reminds me because like, especially in 319 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,200 like, you know, yeshiva coffee room hawk about dentistry. 320 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,560 So there are like 2, two things you'll hear. 1 is that like is 321 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:42,080 the profession to go into, to have lots of time to learn. 322 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:44,520 And the counter argument to that is like, well, you're spending 323 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:46,720 all day with your hands in people's mouths and, and 324 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,880 breathing their breath and just seeing what they had for their 325 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,040 last meal. So you seem to like transcend 326 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:52,720 all of that in the way you approach this. 327 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,640 Transcend is strong but that you're very kind. 328 00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:00,200 I struggle with everything always and try to do the best I 329 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:04,200 can. There is an aspect of dentistry 330 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:08,760 that being your own boss I guess is one way of saying it. 331 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:13,000 I've never answered to anyone for how I'm spending my time 332 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,240 other than myself and you know, my creator. 333 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:21,480 That's tough thing. Even when you, maybe it's easier 334 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:22,720 when somebody's telling you what to do. 335 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:26,520 But the ability to balance work and life and family and 336 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:31,080 learning, it's up to you. You create your own right 337 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:35,800 schedule based on your values. And so dentistry certainly has 338 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:39,160 enabled me to do that. When I was when I was making 339 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:42,080 this decision, I was actually all over the place and I was 340 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,560 pretty stressed out, Yaakov, because I was already married. 341 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,840 And so now it's real. Or at least, you know, that's 342 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:51,080 how I felt. And so I went to a lot of people 343 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:55,720 to ask Gadolin. So I had one year left in 344 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:58,440 Sumitra Yu. I'd already done my shimush. 345 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:02,120 I was the rabbi of Stern College for it's a long story, but 346 00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:07,480 anyways, the Shabbos rabbi at Stern College, this was like I 347 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,800 was married, like I was newly married. 348 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:14,200 Girls were coming up to me at Shabbos and asking me how like 349 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,240 Shila's I was like, let me get back to you in a couple of 350 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:22,360 months anyways. And so I had your Adea left. 351 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:24,800 I had to learn your Adea. That was the only thing I had 352 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,840 left. And I went to rehearsal Shafter 353 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:29,320 Shalita. And I asked them, I think I'm 354 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:31,680 probably going to do dental school should I finished. 355 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:37,240 And I went to somebody by the name of Frankel Shalita, who was 356 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:40,200 my Rabian High School. Basically Frankel said I was 357 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:42,160 telling him all my options. He said dentistry is awesome. 358 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:45,040 I was like, it's Usser said no, no, dentistry is awesome. 359 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:47,000 All my dentists have time to learn. 360 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:48,880 That was a very big deal for me to hear. 361 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,480 Then I went to a Schechter. Of course, I asked him should I 362 00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:52,960 finish Sumika? And he said Sumika is not for 363 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,120 you. Just like anybody who I'd ever 364 00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:59,320 asked who was in that position. He said you're gonna, Can you 365 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,240 believe he said this? This is a refresher, Schechter. 366 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:05,040 I promise you he said this and I was, and I'm still grateful to 367 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:07,400 him for this. To this day, he said, you're 368 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:10,240 going to dental school anyway as a dentist. 369 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:13,120 I'll give you a breather. You say you'll always have time 370 00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:19,280 to learn. You'll have time to do Kirov and 371 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,360 and you're going to find your day very boring and technical 372 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:26,400 because he knows me. I know a lot of people find your 373 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,760 day very exciting. Maybe I would have now, you 374 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,800 know. But at the time, he said, you're 375 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,160 newly married, you're stressed out about your future. 376 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:35,440 Like the last thing you need is to break your head. 377 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:39,560 Knowing me over year a day, I thought there again, very 378 00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:42,560 unexpected advice from a Rebbe, right? 379 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,080 And yeah, it's. Not too late, by the way. 380 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:46,720 Exactly. Well, that's what he said then. 381 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,560 And so he said you could always do it later. 382 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:53,120 It's not too late later. In the meantime, you'll have a 383 00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:55,040 partner. So you'll get your life started, 384 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:59,760 You'll go to Eretz Estralla Fiosocha you'll and you'll make 385 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:03,440 your own schedule and you can do a lot more learning as an ATIS 386 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:07,040 and some then some certainly sure bottom have time to do. 387 00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:11,840 You can create your own life and you're not defined by your 388 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:15,640 profession, Although again, these are landmark decisions 389 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:18,120 that it's, it's kind of almost a pocket, right? 390 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,840 It can take you any which way and one decision can have a 391 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:25,040 massive effect. But you can't over stress it 392 00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,600 that because if you do, then you're more prone to make a bad 393 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:29,320 decision. You have to try to make the best 394 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:33,080 decision at the time and find the way to be the best version 395 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:37,440 of yourself along that path. So I I'm grateful for my urbane 396 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:39,360 and my friends who guided me to this point. 397 00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:43,040 And you made reference to this journey that was really about 398 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:46,200 Aaliyah, and it worked, and then it wasn't working so well. 399 00:21:46,360 --> 00:21:48,000 So can you tell that story in brief for those who aren't 400 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,680 familiar? Oh my gosh. 401 00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:58,160 OK, Thanks a lot, Yaakov. I was, I sounded like such I, I 402 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:03,640 did not sound I OK. I was on a podcast called 1840. 403 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:04,720 I don't know if you've ever heard of it. 404 00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:07,680 And they asked me that question. That was the premise of the 405 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:10,800 podcast. Me being on the podcast was 406 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:14,440 embarrassing in its own right because Steve Glanz, the 407 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:16,160 aforementioned Steve Glanz and all these other yeshivas, we 408 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:19,080 used to run these panels to show everybody you could beat Tama 409 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,920 Khakham and a professional and live in Israel. 410 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:23,680 It's a possibility, it's an option. 411 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:28,480 And so you can imagine people were going through yeshivas and 412 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,640 they knew me of the Aliyah option guy. 413 00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,280 And then I had to go on a podcast about why I had to 414 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:39,680 leave. Erin Sasrell I also got a lot of 415 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:43,120 rabbis in trouble, by the way. And I don't think that's sort of 416 00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:46,120 like the postscript. What basically happened was our 417 00:22:46,120 --> 00:22:49,080 oldest kids moved to America. That's what basically happened. 418 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:55,160 And it was very much a consequence of our pin of 419 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:59,800 decisions at the time. And I think it actually does fit 420 00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:02,520 in with some of the things that we're talking about because like 421 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:06,040 me, my children are very social people. 422 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:10,920 And so they were really connected to their peer group. 423 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:15,840 And even though they could have been Datilumi or they could have 424 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,320 been Kharidi, and that was kind of in Ramabech, how much they 425 00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:22,200 were in the middle, they would have done best staying with a 426 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:25,200 critical mass of people who are exactly like them, where they 427 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:26,920 could just do what their friends are doing. 428 00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:30,400 That's basically the people that we know that have navigated and 429 00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:33,440 stayed on that fine, thin, razor thin line. 430 00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:36,520 That's a challenging thing to do. 431 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,960 And you become sort of a singular person. 432 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:43,080 It's a lot easier if you're with a group. 433 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:47,400 That's true for most people. So most of their friends in 434 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:50,960 remote HMH actually were very comfortable finding their 435 00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:54,000 theirs, their place. And so that's what we had hoped 436 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,360 would happen. But as it turns out, that didn't 437 00:23:56,360 --> 00:23:58,040 happen to them. And their peer group were 438 00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:00,000 Americans. So they ended up in America 439 00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:03,480 because now they're both Hashem. They're in the situation where 440 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:05,560 they're following their their friends. 441 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:11,440 But that was a devastating thing for us to feel like family kind 442 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:15,760 of it's it's a lot of challenging feelings. 443 00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:17,560 You feel like your family slipping away from you. 444 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,800 You feel like your dream of Israel is fading in front of 445 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:22,880 you. It was very, very hard. 446 00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:26,120 Very hard. We ended up speaking to her 447 00:24:26,120 --> 00:24:30,000 about him, I mentioned the rabunim that we spoke to, and 448 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,080 then some of those rabunim actually got in trouble because 449 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:35,520 some of my dear friends who gave me a hard time all the time 450 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:39,400 started giving those rabunim a hard time for giving us the 451 00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:44,480 advice to move on. That said, in retrospect, this 452 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:47,600 has been a very healthy time for us. 453 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:53,320 So again, moved basically for family and now my mother-in-law 454 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:56,160 lives next door to me. It's kind of like a sitcom. 455 00:24:56,160 --> 00:25:03,760 You know what a sitcom is Jacob and and and that's a big to and 456 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:08,160 she also and our old. Grandfather, we keep going on 457 00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:09,240 this route, which I don't think you. 458 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:16,200 You know, my grandchildren also live in my community and and so 459 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:20,720 it's a very, it's a very important time career wise. 460 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:25,560 I'm sitting in this weird hotel in at a conference where I'm 461 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:28,640 speaking and it was a Seattle Deshmaya. 462 00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:32,640 I found an office where I was able to really grow 463 00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:36,960 professionally in the very specific mechanics of what I do. 464 00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:40,160 And it was really career altering for me. 465 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:46,720 And as recently as over this past weekend, I met some very 466 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:50,400 prominent Israeli orthodontists that I've been trying to be in 467 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:53,080 touch with. And now I'm sort of a bar hafi 468 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,360 in their eyes, like they consider me a Makar. 469 00:25:56,000 --> 00:26:00,960 And so that opens doors for us to come back and bring bring 470 00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:04,360 back a lot of the things that we've gained in terms of family, 471 00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:06,440 in terms of professional advancement. 472 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,520 These are things we can bring back to Israel. 473 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:11,920 We felt very grateful. My training in orthodontics. 474 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:15,560 There are some good friends of mine who are currently you know 475 00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:19,840 some of my best friends are were Zoka to do that also would bring 476 00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:22,040 their American training of orthodontics to Israel. 477 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,520 Now I'm on a higher level. I could bring that back to 478 00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:29,440 Israel when we left my prayer was the prayer that we say and 479 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:33,360 share malus that no say alu. Most of you know we say those 480 00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:37,800 words that we should be carrying bundles and it is my fervent 481 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:40,800 hope and prayer to be like gathering these bundles in 482 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:45,720 Khuzlarts and to carry them joyfully back and to share on 483 00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:51,840 our way back. So, but it also speaks to our 484 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:55,120 initial discussion, which is weighing your options and 485 00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:59,920 finding joy in what you do. I'm not fatalist. 486 00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:04,000 My dear friend Rabbi Barack Safra always says that one of my 487 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:07,600 one of the things that he admires about me is that I don't 488 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:10,600 get into down mode. I've been very blessed to have a 489 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:14,720 positive attitude and for what some of the things we've been 490 00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:16,720 through with, that's been super critical. 491 00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:21,560 He says it also lignite and Leshva because he's saying it's 492 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:24,920 incredible how far down you can go and not get discouraged. 493 00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:28,800 It's kind of, but by the same token, it's, it's been very, 494 00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:36,120 it's been very helpful to be emotionally flexible, to be able 495 00:27:36,120 --> 00:27:41,840 to handle life's challenges. I am acutely aware of some of 496 00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:45,800 the life challenges that everyone faces and some of the 497 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:48,240 life challenges in particular going on in in Israel. 498 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,400 And they can really bring you down. 499 00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:55,240 And it is not for me to tell people to keep their chin up 500 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:58,800 because I am not in their position currently. 501 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:03,680 And that's, that's a challenge that I don't know anybody that 502 00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:07,000 can actually live up to. But certainly nobody would 503 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:12,080 disagree that moving on and choosing to live and choosing to 504 00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:15,880 build is, is, is better than the alternative. 505 00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:21,000 And so that requires strength is requires flexibility and it 506 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:25,000 requires, I think people who love you, who care enough to, to 507 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,480 support you around you. And so that, that's a that's, 508 00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:30,320 that's been very big in my life. And so that's, that's where we 509 00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:32,200 are right now. And I'm here for you, Yaakov. 510 00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:35,000 That's very beautiful and you are and I appreciate that 511 00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:37,400 there's a lot there and we're not going to do a whole Aliyah 512 00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:39,400 podcast right now. But I think 1 angle that I 513 00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:42,400 wanted to dive a little deeper into is the fact that, you know, 514 00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:44,640 many of our listeners are, you know, raising kids and if 515 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:46,680 they're not Bazasham at the right time, they will be raising 516 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:48,720 children of their own. And we all have these hopes and 517 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:52,920 dreams and aspirations for our children, and yet we have such a 518 00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:58,640 complex relationship with the yeah, we have this complex 519 00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:02,720 dynamic where we have schools and Shoals and communities and 520 00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:04,840 all these other outside influences on our children. 521 00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:07,720 And so on the one hand, we want everything that they should be 522 00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:09,600 just like we imagine them. On the other hand, there are all 523 00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:10,880 these other influences from the outside. 524 00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:13,800 So just can you zoom in on that a little bit and how you think 525 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,200 about that 'cause you said like it's your kids ended up making 526 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:18,960 the decision, taking a path that you weren't necessarily hoping 527 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,800 they would, but they did. And you're now doing your best 528 00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,800 under those circumstances. Yeah, I think that that's very 529 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:29,800 case specific. You know, if I, I don't want to 530 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:34,120 embarrass you, but you know that your parents are renowned in our 531 00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:39,480 in our peer circles as the number one parents that anyone 532 00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:43,080 could ever have. Mom their their reputation is 533 00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:47,440 that they're extremely caring and extremely intentional with 534 00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:53,040 their parenting and that they are really incredible at and 535 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:56,240 it's obvious in the payrolls. It really incredible instilling 536 00:29:56,240 --> 00:30:00,920 values in their kids. I think it's very important as a 537 00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:05,880 parent not to be lazy and not to be selfish, but at the same time 538 00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:09,560 to recognize that kids have to that it's their own lives. 539 00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:13,480 And and so your parents strike that balance in such a beautiful 540 00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:14,880 way. So you even me asking me your 541 00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:17,680 parent in question would be like the brisk Karov asking me for 542 00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:23,680 Svara and Dafiyomi. But I will tell you that to the 543 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:28,400 extent that your listeners, everyone's different, I think 544 00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:30,760 that we have to be true to yourself. 545 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:35,760 OK, So we know a lot of families where everyone's kind of the 546 00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:40,160 same ish, not the same, but you could tell that the was strong 547 00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:44,000 and that the family has like a stamp that everyone has like, 548 00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:48,800 like very, very deeply instilled consistent values that really 549 00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:51,240 inform so much of their behavior and their choices. 550 00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:54,480 In our particular family, we're very honest. 551 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:59,560 So that's kind of the the mantra it it can be, it could be 552 00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:04,320 lignite, it could be tough because if somebody in school is 553 00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:08,480 being mistreated by some by somebody in a position of 554 00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:11,160 authority. So now you have a choice as a 555 00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:17,080 parent, are you going to focus on the deference to authority, 556 00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:22,160 which is a basic fundamental of Judaism and or are you going to 557 00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:25,880 focus on being empathetic to that child and what they're 558 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:31,040 going through? And that is the fundamental 559 00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:34,040 decision that really has that plays into every one of these 560 00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:36,280 things. They I think that's the, I think 561 00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:38,400 that's the decision that plays into every one of the things 562 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:42,560 that that you're talking about. Israel versus America, American 563 00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:45,640 values versus Israeli values, etcetera. 564 00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:51,680 So, so for example, Ramabhishchemish was, was a, our 565 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:52,960 kids were going to karate schools. 566 00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:56,600 Certain values weren't exactly in concert with the values in 567 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:58,280 the home. That that's to be expected. 568 00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:01,880 It can't be exact. So we have basic fundamental 569 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:04,440 values. We try to impart medo's 570 00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:09,320 authenticity, right Joy. I would say that that's like the 571 00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:13,560 three pillars. And so from that, every one of 572 00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:16,120 our children does their own thing within that context. 573 00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:19,640 But we err on the side of authenticity. 574 00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:22,440 And if we think something is wrong, we're going to talk about 575 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:24,040 it. The Shabbas table, we sometimes 576 00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:26,840 have yeshiva guys and we used to have it a lot more. 577 00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:28,920 My wife really misses that. That's why we come every circus 578 00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:33,680 and we host yeshiva guys and, and, and they watch the dynamic 579 00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:35,280 at the table. And it may not be what they were 580 00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:39,520 used to growing up, but we err on the side of just honesty and 581 00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:41,840 authenticity. We talk about everything always. 582 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:47,640 And that's my style and authenticity just runs through 583 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:50,320 our family. And so in that sense, we're 584 00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:53,960 playing to our strengths. If I tried to be dogmatic and 585 00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:56,520 like yell at my kid if he came three minutes late for chakras 586 00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:58,680 and explain to him like we're love these, we don't do that. 587 00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:03,560 It wouldn't work. Because you if you try to be 588 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:05,840 something that you're not, you usually end up being a bad 589 00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:07,320 version of the thing you're trying to be. 590 00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:16,200 You know, it's just that, that well, the, the, the, the part 591 00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:21,400 is, it's more what you do than what you preach. 592 00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:26,880 So therefore know yourself as a parent, be honest with yourself 593 00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:31,440 and, and show by example to the best that you can, and then just 594 00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:33,000 be as honest as authentic as possible. 595 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:34,960 So that's our style. When they make their own 596 00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:38,760 decisions, that's not a reflection on you or your 597 00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:43,280 parenting per SE, That's you allowing them to be them. 598 00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:45,520 And ultimately that is what you want because of their own 599 00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:48,200 people. We experienced that multiple 600 00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:52,760 times before we caught on, You know, all these, we were growing 601 00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:56,120 up with these like why you yeshivish with like in Passaic 602 00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:58,520 or whatever, with all these like little kids would pay us behind 603 00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:01,680 their ears and all that. It's, it's cute. 604 00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:04,520 But you know, at the end of the day, when they grow up to be 605 00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:10,000 their own people, they have to be given the tools to be 606 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,719 authentic to themselves. And I think they can't give a 607 00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:15,480 child a greater gift than that. That's very nice. 608 00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:17,800 Let's transition because we're getting a little bit low on time 609 00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:20,520 here to your Dafyomi Shir Dafyomi podcast. 610 00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:22,920 I don't know how you like to define it and the Kabura. 611 00:34:23,199 --> 00:34:25,600 You can tell me how you define it and just maybe start from the 612 00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:27,080 beginning of how this all got started. 613 00:34:28,639 --> 00:34:30,400 Well, thank you for the big plug. 614 00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:34,080 I don't understand two things. When I was in 1840, for some 615 00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:36,760 reason, Bashefkin was not concerned about my daily 616 00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:40,199 schedule, which I was very offended by because he asks most 617 00:34:40,199 --> 00:34:42,199 real people what their schedule is interested. 618 00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:44,480 And he didn't plug my Dafiomi podcast. 619 00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:47,199 So let's go. It's stop explaining. 620 00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:50,560 You can get it, I think on iTunes or Spotify or everything. 621 00:34:51,159 --> 00:34:53,239 And it's very me. And I'll tell you what I mean. 622 00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:55,480 Well, first you asked how it started. 623 00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:59,960 It's very me because I was never really consistent. 624 00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:02,760 I was usually like a model of inconsistency with flashes of 625 00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:07,560 brilliance, if I may say. But Rev Malinowitz that Sal, who 626 00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:10,320 is our the Rev of our Shuler, Mapi Shemesh always encouraged 627 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:13,920 me to give Sheer as much as I could on a consistent basis. 628 00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:16,480 I tried to make the Sheer when he wasn't around because a, 629 00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:19,080 that's the last thing I needed was Rev Malinowitz was the chief 630 00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:24,240 editor for Art Scroll at at a DAF sheer or even at a DAF 631 00:35:24,240 --> 00:35:27,480 whatever review Sheer, which was whatever I was giving and also 632 00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:29,480 like whatever I thought was beneath him and I didn't want 633 00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:31,560 him there, but he came every time anyways. 634 00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:34,600 And he would not be denied because he wanted to support 635 00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:38,360 that idea. So shortly after we moved in 636 00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:43,360 fall of 2019, he passed away. I had an opportunity to talk to 637 00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:48,040 him for a long time just before he passed away, which was just 638 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:53,600 like a blessing. And so I was super inspired to, 639 00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:55,360 I said, I'm going to do this for him. 640 00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:58,280 You know, he was there for me. I'm going to do this for him. 641 00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:03,640 So I decided I'm going to teach Daphiomi La Ilenishmaso. 642 00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:05,760 I'm going to do a full cycle. I'm going to learn shots La 643 00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:09,760 Ilenishmaso. Now it came at a decent time 644 00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:15,720 because we just moved and I was, I was unemployed as if I just 645 00:36:15,720 --> 00:36:17,800 come out of school. So I didn't have a job. 646 00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:19,200 So I had plenty of time to prepare. 647 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:21,160 And then COVID hit. So then I had plenty of time to 648 00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:25,440 prepare. The thing is not you can't just 649 00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:27,520 show up and and tell people that you want to teach Duff. 650 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:30,880 Not everybody wants to hear Duff from you and I even went to a 651 00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:32,880 few people and told them I want to give daf and they said that's 652 00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:34,400 very nice. I hope that goes well for you. 653 00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:38,520 Verb on him. You know, and but I met somebody 654 00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:43,040 and they asked me how I was doing. 655 00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:44,840 I kind of peripherally knew them. 656 00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:49,480 And he asked me how you doing? And I said, I think by the time 657 00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:53,640 the next cycle starts because I was like in like trying to get 658 00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:57,680 Dafyomi cheer going mode. So for whatever reason, in a 659 00:36:57,680 --> 00:37:01,160 regular social conversation, it was this dentist, Yoni Baron, 660 00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:03,520 who was in the JCC pool in Baltimore. 661 00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:06,560 He's asking me how I'm doing. And I'm telling him, I think by 662 00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:10,120 the time that the next cycle starts, I'll be like a little 663 00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:12,800 bit more acclimated, which was in January and you might recall 664 00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:16,000 of 2020. Anyways, he's like, what you 665 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,520 learned off. And as fate would have it, they 666 00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:22,600 have a 620 minion that was flailing and is now really 667 00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:25,480 burgeoning. It's doing really well and at 668 00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:27,640 the time they couldn't get 10 men for that minion and Sharp, 669 00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:29,880 the name Jacob Shah resign, which is a show of Rabbi Rose. 670 00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:31,840 She does the rabbi and previously was Rabbi Hauer at 671 00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:33,200 the time. He's now with the OU. 672 00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:36,520 Anyways, so he said we're desperate. 673 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,680 We're desperate because we need people at this minion. 674 00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:43,280 So we need a Dafyomishir before that minion. 675 00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:46,600 So I said wait, but what time do you say the minion was anyway? 676 00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:49,640 5:30 AM. It was the craziest thing. 677 00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:52,880 Mind you, I don't start work till 11, so it's not like I'm 678 00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:55,960 rushing, but I was desperate so it was my only option. 679 00:37:55,960 --> 00:38:00,920 So I took the opportunity and I'm shocked Yaakov, I thought I 680 00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:04,920 was going to spend full all nighters crying preparing the 681 00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:06,360 death. But Art squirrel was very 682 00:38:07,240 --> 00:38:10,160 helpful and I'm doing it to Illinois Nishma or Molinos 683 00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:12,440 anyway. So I could justify being very, 684 00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:18,000 very assured to art squirrel with with my with my shot, if 685 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:21,520 you want to call it that. And I do it five days a week. 686 00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:25,720 So if you're type A personality, there's a bunch of different 687 00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:27,520 people, types of people do Dafiomi. 688 00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:31,000 Most of them are type A checking it off. 689 00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:33,480 They like the consistency and all of that. 690 00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:38,240 So you would hate my podcast if you did that because I'm only 691 00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:41,400 Monday through Friday so already you're not getting the full 692 00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:43,440 amount right? Hopefully if I do a few cycles 693 00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:46,280 I'll fill it all in. Also if I'm away like I am now, 694 00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:49,440 I originally used to have fill insurance but I burnt them all 695 00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:51,080 out because nobody wants to go to 530. 696 00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:54,640 It used to be 535. It was a 45 minutes year, but 697 00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:59,560 since October 7th we said we got to do something, so we moved it 698 00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:03,880 to 5:30, which obviously we regret every single day, but 699 00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:07,960 hopefully if at least it's a little close, maybe it's worth 700 00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:12,440 it. My Daf style Thank you for 701 00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:16,800 asking about my DAF style. It's actually I err on the side 702 00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:21,200 of making it relatable to me. I find the material extremely 703 00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:25,840 fascinating. I find it like a storyline, like 704 00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:27,880 a narrative. I can't get past it. 705 00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:29,840 I don't see it as like a chocolate vitaria. 706 00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:34,160 I see it as a story. And every question, even if it's 707 00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:37,960 something that's not halakhala maisa, it's like historically 708 00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:42,200 fascinating to me. And the personalities are 709 00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:44,880 fascinating to me. And as we've come from bracious, 710 00:39:45,240 --> 00:39:50,280 bracious from Bracos all the way now and making it through all 711 00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:54,960 the way to deep into Baba Basra, the personalities come out. 712 00:39:55,520 --> 00:40:00,000 So, for example, I am rightfully accused of being a Reva 713 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:03,560 apologist. I I think those as far as are so 714 00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:06,200 clear, I can't get over it. And we, you and I were always 715 00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:09,280 aware of Yaal Kagam. But when I saw Yaal Kagam like 716 00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:10,960 come to life, I was like, that's right. 717 00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:12,960 Yaal Kagam Rava is of course always right. 718 00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:15,640 Abaya is great, but like OK, so 6 times he's right. 719 00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:20,600 So the personalities I don't psychoanalyze or anything like 720 00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:23,320 that, but I get really into it when it comes to that. 721 00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:26,680 Did you know that when I was working in, I had a satellite 722 00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:30,160 when I work in Israel, I had a satellite office in the gush and 723 00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:33,120 this woman by the name of Shira Schmidtman, she had, she was in 724 00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:37,840 the middle of a PhD on Rami Bahama in Bar Ilan. 725 00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:42,920 So I was always speaking to my patients, as you know, and like 726 00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:44,920 gaining everything from everyone. 727 00:40:45,240 --> 00:40:47,520 And I thought that that was incredible. 728 00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:51,080 She actually, I think was Mahavan to Shakis Aria, some 729 00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:53,800 crazy thing. Like her premise has something 730 00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:57,880 to do with Rami Bahama being consistent with your Xiaomi. 731 00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:00,720 It's beyond the scope of this podcast or even my Duff's 732 00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:02,280 playing. But I will tell you that when 733 00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:04,560 you know that somebody's on a PhD and Rami Bahama, you can't 734 00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:07,520 read Rami Bahama in the Gemara without like paying closer 735 00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:11,000 attention. So I noticed he was really 736 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:13,680 sharp. Like for Duffyomi, it's kind of 737 00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:17,840 rough because every time we're about to finish the Duff Omarami 738 00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:21,200 Bahama, we're like, uh oh. Because it's always super hoppy 739 00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:23,160 question. It's always like really clever 740 00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:26,720 and like at 5:30, you're not always in the mood for it when 741 00:41:26,720 --> 00:41:28,680 you're trying to finish Duff. But we embrace it. 742 00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:31,360 And by the way, he and Robert were the two best guys in this 743 00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:32,960 year. Read the gomars. 744 00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:35,120 You'll see it's it's not me speculating. 745 00:41:35,720 --> 00:41:42,600 And this year, so anyways, just like the just like my work is 746 00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:45,320 about the people, the Duff is about the people in the Duff. 747 00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:47,120 It's about the people on the Duff. 748 00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:49,760 It's about the. People on the Duff, it's the joy 749 00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:52,040 in it. And so it's a very joyful Duff. 750 00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:57,200 It's not a check off the list Duff and it's brought. 751 00:41:57,200 --> 00:41:59,200 You don't need. To go to like external sources 752 00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:02,040 to find like joy and shtick like it's all within the actual 753 00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:05,160 material. Well, it's very kind of you to 754 00:42:05,160 --> 00:42:08,760 say, and I don't know what you're referring to, but I feel 755 00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:10,720 what you're saying very, very strongly. 756 00:42:12,720 --> 00:42:16,600 I think that however people people consume Duff is 757 00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:20,480 incredible and however and anybody who gives of themselves 758 00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:24,040 to teach it is incredibly commendable. 759 00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:27,640 Especially there's movements now of like just large movements of 760 00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:30,720 people getting excited about Duff and I think that that's 761 00:42:30,720 --> 00:42:33,360 incredible. But maybe because internally 762 00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:38,120 there is that inner nerd in me, I don't find the external shtick 763 00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:40,040 funny. I happen to be like a little bit 764 00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:42,640 of a comedy snob. So the comedy doesn't speak to 765 00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:49,000 me, but like the subtle comedy inside the actual Duff that 766 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,360 speaks to me. So it's a matter of taste. 767 00:42:51,720 --> 00:42:56,040 And yeah, I find real joy in the in the Duff. 768 00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:59,000 I feel, you know, Rabbi Kiva's laughter through Corbin and 769 00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:01,480 things like that. It's a matter of perspective, 770 00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:08,200 right? It's not like Leitanus is making 771 00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:11,080 fun of serious things. That's late Sunnis. 772 00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:13,280 That's as bad a thing as you could do. 773 00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:19,360 But Simcha is making fun of non serious things and finding joy 774 00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:22,720 in meaningful things and that's what we strive to do. 775 00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:26,720 And so it's a very simple oriented Duff. 776 00:43:26,720 --> 00:43:30,040 We find joy in those things. That's amazing and. 777 00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:32,240 It has brought up. Because you I know I know you 778 00:43:32,240 --> 00:43:33,800 wanted me to. I mean, I was going to actually 779 00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:37,560 ask you about the process of how you do it, your schedule, but 780 00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:41,000 because you really want to have this and he really have Avatar 781 00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:42,360 Kennis. We can start from the night, you 782 00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:45,080 know, Hila by everybody Booker. So I'll start with your nightly 783 00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:46,280 schedule, then your daily schedule. 784 00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:49,040 And I really do want to hear how you go about producing this year 785 00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:51,800 on a five times a week basis. Well, you know what? 786 00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:55,880 You are too kind. I I'm I'm having the best time. 787 00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:57,480 This might be the best moment of my whole life. 788 00:43:57,480 --> 00:44:06,680 And I think yeah. So I'll tell you I I get up. 789 00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:09,600 I'm going to do not what you asked because my night time. 790 00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:11,240 I just wanted to do what you asked me to. 791 00:44:11,240 --> 00:44:13,200 Understand. No, I know you were trying to be 792 00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:15,880 nice and, and I do appreciate it and that means more to me than 793 00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:17,880 anything. But I got to get this year at 794 00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:20,160 5:30. So I get up at either 5 or one 795 00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:22,840 or five or eight, depending on how tired I know I am. 796 00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:25,600 And then I get there. That's the astonishing thing, 797 00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:27,000 Yaakov. I get there on time. 798 00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:29,760 It's really messed up. If you know me, that's really, 799 00:44:30,240 --> 00:44:33,160 it's an unprecedented thing that happens every day in the during 800 00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:35,280 the middle of the week after that. 801 00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:37,960 So we give daf and then we daf. And then after that, I have a 802 00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:40,640 Carusa to prepare the next day's daf. 803 00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:46,440 And so if you're doing the math, I get home, it's like 815 people 804 00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:48,120 are like on their way out to school. 805 00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:51,520 I've already taught DAF, Dabin and learned the next day's DAF. 806 00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:53,840 That's in the ideal. And now I have time before I go 807 00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:57,000 to work. So that's when I do my either 808 00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:00,640 exercise or if I have to do more for DAF or if I have something 809 00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:07,960 to take care of, then I work from about 5:50 roughly. 810 00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:11,040 And then the evenings are something that we're working on. 811 00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:13,600 That's family time. A lot of times historically it's 812 00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:20,480 been second Caruso for daf sometimes Now Rabbi Marwick 813 00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:24,920 Schlita, who I should mention in in everybody should come to 814 00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:27,800 Sheree in Baltimore if you're in the Baltimore area and he's 815 00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:29,520 trying to strengthen a night seder there. 816 00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:33,080 So I'm always tweaking and tightening my schedule and I 817 00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:35,800 want to be more productive in in those evening hours also while 818 00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:37,400 at the same time being home for the family. 819 00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:43,760 My family will tell you that by the time I get back from work, 820 00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:46,560 I'm a little bit of a shmata. So I'm like passing out and 821 00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:48,640 taking the. And when I'm telling you my 822 00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:51,240 schedule, my family will tell you I'm skipping a couple of 823 00:45:51,240 --> 00:45:56,760 naps in there because it is crazy to get up that early and 824 00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:59,480 to be that productive. And then I normally go to sleep 825 00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:03,400 late at night also. So it doesn't work unless you're 826 00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:06,440 either disciplined, which I'm not, or you're taking naps, 827 00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:08,480 which I'm great at. So I'm kind of playing to my 828 00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:11,440 strengths. So to me, if I could take like a 829 00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:15,640 power nap right when I get home from from work and then be fresh 830 00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:19,480 for everyone in the evening, then that actually works for me. 831 00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:22,000 But thank you for asking about my schedule. 832 00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:23,040 I think that's so you're basically. 833 00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:26,040 Doing like the Rambam's sleep, sleep, sleep schedule. 834 00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:28,480 Well, that's, that's kind of you, yes. 835 00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:33,760 I, I, I, I actually think that my schedule is above average. 836 00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:37,240 So I'm glad that you asked, and I do forgive Bechefkin for not 837 00:46:37,240 --> 00:46:39,480 asking, but I'm glad that it's out there now. 838 00:46:40,440 --> 00:46:44,480 OK, it's been very fun and I and I, I get a lot of joy to 839 00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:46,040 speaking to you just like all your patients do. 840 00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:48,520 And I just, I guess just to finish off, I really want to 841 00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:52,640 point out that you managed to take the experience of getting 842 00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:55,320 braces and having your orthodontistry from something 843 00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:57,760 which is so feared and so reviled to something so 844 00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:01,080 enjoyable and exact thing that you like set out to do as like 845 00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:03,480 your life's mission or you just sort of ended up there. 846 00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:07,560 I think it's a combination. It's The funny thing that you 847 00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:09,480 mentioned. We, we have this Invisalign 848 00:47:09,480 --> 00:47:12,360 convention where I currently AM and from the beginning to end, 849 00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:15,120 all they're talking about is the patient experience is what 850 00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:17,760 matters. And they're kind of preaching to 851 00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:23,160 to other dentists to try to do what we were always doing all 852 00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:26,320 along. For us, it's about the people. 853 00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:29,200 I am a connector and a communicator. 854 00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:32,400 So when somebody comes, that's a very real thing for me. 855 00:47:33,720 --> 00:47:35,880 You know how connected I am to your family and to your wife's 856 00:47:35,880 --> 00:47:38,560 family. So the Zimbalists, you know, you 857 00:47:38,560 --> 00:47:40,200 know, I'm not going to get it better than the Zimbalists. 858 00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:47,400 So, so Speaking of the Kama and her family, so I had the 859 00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:52,440 privilege of treating, I think all the siblings, including 860 00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:58,320 Avraham, and including Elimo, Zecharzadek, Livraja. 861 00:47:59,240 --> 00:48:05,880 And in the case of Elimo, he was a very challenging case 862 00:48:06,360 --> 00:48:09,920 clinically. Like Nakama and like you, just 863 00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:13,560 an Angel of a kid. Like just, I didn't know that he 864 00:48:13,560 --> 00:48:15,520 was a builder. I didn't know that part of his 865 00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:19,880 life, but I knew that he was just an unbelievable, 866 00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:24,360 unbelievable, sweet kid and outstandingly so. 867 00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:28,920 And so when he had complications and I moved, he was in the 868 00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:33,720 middle of his case and the Zimbalists had a tough time. 869 00:48:33,880 --> 00:48:37,440 You're Mccutanim. No, no, you're not even 870 00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:38,520 Mccutanim. But you know what I mean. 871 00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:42,560 Your parents, Mccutanim, they had a tough time finding 872 00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:44,440 somebody to take on his case because he was in the middle of 873 00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:46,920 like a case that nobody wanted to take on, more or less. 874 00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:51,600 And I, because of the way I approach what I do, and I'm 875 00:48:51,600 --> 00:48:56,560 about the people I felt, you know, their challenge, it was 876 00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:57,960 something that they needed to take care of. 877 00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:00,920 And it was a sincere thing. And so I said, you know what, 878 00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:04,040 I'm just going to step up and treat him remotely with 879 00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:07,640 Invisalign from here. And we're going to just stay in 880 00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:10,760 touch because that will mean something to me anyways, to be 881 00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:12,760 able to stay in touch with these people that I love so much. 882 00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:15,640 And the more connected I am to people in Israel, the more 883 00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:20,960 physical I get from that. Anyway, anybody who listens to 884 00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:24,480 this podcast and even people who don't know that Ellie MO was 885 00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:28,200 tragically killed and he was in the middle of treatment. 886 00:49:28,560 --> 00:49:36,760 He and your mother-in-law, Sarah and I had a three-way chat 887 00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:41,920 called Smiles R Us. And Oh, my goodness, when I 888 00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:47,280 heard the news, I was like everyone and my wife's very, 889 00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:48,720 very connected to what's going on in his zone. 890 00:49:48,720 --> 00:49:51,360 And I am too. But, you know, I don't stay up 891 00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:53,760 all night. I like check in the morning. 892 00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:55,800 That's so like part of the routine, you know, how's it 893 00:49:55,800 --> 00:50:01,680 going? But I just knowing how precious 894 00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:05,840 he was and they all are. But, you know, obviously for 895 00:50:05,840 --> 00:50:09,160 better, for worse, it's different when you know, and how 896 00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:12,600 connected we were. I just, I, I was besides myself 897 00:50:12,880 --> 00:50:17,040 and I didn't even know how I would call his mother to console 898 00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:19,640 her. That's how devastating it was. 899 00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:23,320 I didn't know like where to start with it. 900 00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:30,680 Anyway, she called me amazingly, I think it was, it was like 4:00 901 00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:33,760 in the morning, I think the day after the levaya. 902 00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:39,120 I think it was maybe the first day of Shiva to let me know 903 00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:40,400 because she wasn't sure if I had hurt. 904 00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:42,240 I was going to call her when she called me. 905 00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:49,200 I felt obviously the grief, but the connection was so strong. 906 00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:52,440 Like it made it like, you know what? 907 00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:56,720 In that moment of her and the whole family and Simi and and 908 00:50:56,720 --> 00:50:59,040 and all the siblings in there and the moment of their immense 909 00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:05,800 pain, I saw the seeds of like how people are there for each 910 00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:09,920 other, connected to each other. If we hold on to each other so, 911 00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:13,840 so tight, we can build. And that's what Ellima would 912 00:51:13,840 --> 00:51:16,160 want. And that was meant so much to 913 00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:17,680 me. My wife and I weren't on the 914 00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:21,320 phone with her. We, we cried, you know, for a 915 00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:24,360 guy who didn't know what to say. We ended up talking for like 45 916 00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:27,280 minutes, you know, on the, on the morning of the first day of 917 00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:30,360 Shiva, if I recall correctly. And it was just about all the 918 00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:32,680 memories. And it was just so, so moving. 919 00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:36,600 And then I have to go give daff. So I was like a mess. 920 00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:41,280 So I start off saying we're going, we're going to learn this 921 00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:44,360 Maseka Leila Nishmas Elimo it was. 922 00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:46,080 Bumgundo Bastro when he was killed. 923 00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:51,880 Baba Mizia right and story the ends of Baba Mizia right and so 924 00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:56,000 we're going to we're going to do this CM Leila Nishmaso and then 925 00:51:56,000 --> 00:52:00,560 there's this guy that some people have 100,000 listeners. 926 00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:04,880 I have like 5 for my podcast, but there's but most of them are 927 00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:08,000 like my friends. Like shout out to Matt Bornstein 928 00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:11,560 who listens and we are good friends from but this guy never 929 00:52:11,560 --> 00:52:13,520 knew me. He doesn't know me from anywhere 930 00:52:13,760 --> 00:52:16,720 other than the podcast. His name is Moshe Aziz and Moshe 931 00:52:16,720 --> 00:52:22,960 Aziz heard how broken up I was that morning and so he contacted 932 00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:25,200 me and I'd never met him. He said I'm coming down in 933 00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:27,320 Baltimore. He lives in New York so I'm 934 00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:29,560 coming down to Baltimore. I'm going to sponsor a massive 935 00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:33,160 seum and we're going to do Leo and which is Ellie MO. 936 00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:36,080 So think about the connections. You know, we're talking about 937 00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:38,880 being about the people. This is a guy who doesn't even 938 00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:43,880 know me, let alone Elimo, and he feels so connected to Elimo that 939 00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:46,640 he wants to give Hizuk and to connect. 940 00:52:47,240 --> 00:52:52,400 It's unfortunately the way tragedy unfortunately can do 941 00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:55,160 that. But when it does bring people 942 00:52:55,160 --> 00:53:00,040 together, that's I think a really appropriate response. 943 00:53:00,240 --> 00:53:01,160 Incredible. Hizuk. 944 00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:03,760 I think that's what it's all about. 945 00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:07,600 He didn't see him. It was amazing. 946 00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:12,920 We spoke about Elimo and a lot of people actually joined the 947 00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:15,000 Dafyomi. I mean some very prominent. 948 00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:21,080 I have like a better Baba Basra crew, a bigger crew I should 949 00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:23,960 say, because they were so inspired by it. 950 00:53:24,120 --> 00:53:29,040 So it's inspiration leading to Torah, leading to real 951 00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:33,400 connection, all of it just continuously feeding itself. 952 00:53:34,040 --> 00:53:40,360 That's that's what we try to do. I, I yeah. 953 00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:44,680 I know that you all miss him so terribly. 954 00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:48,240 I know that his presences felt in the shul. 955 00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:52,080 Rabbi Rosner, who, you know, maybe I should give a plug. 956 00:53:52,080 --> 00:53:54,680 There's a guy Rabbi named Rabbi Shulam Rosner, who also gives a 957 00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:56,560 Duffyomi. He's he's OK. 958 00:53:57,880 --> 00:54:00,440 So he I'm a little bit of a Duffyomi kind of sore, by the 959 00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:03,360 way. And I think Robert Rosner is 960 00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:05,280 quite excellent. I'll give him a plug. 961 00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:10,280 And he's your uncle. So his jewel is filled with all 962 00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:13,160 of Ellie MO's things. And it was just so incredibly 963 00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:16,000 talented. But for me, it was what an 964 00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:18,720 incredibly gentle, generous soul he was. 965 00:54:19,040 --> 00:54:21,680 And so we'll try to incorporate that in everything we do. 966 00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:27,640 And, and I just hope that we could continue to keep all these 967 00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:30,200 connections. I mean, you just contacting me, 968 00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:34,240 it gives me physics if I ever have an opportunity to give you 969 00:54:34,240 --> 00:54:35,240 physics. And that's what I was doing. 970 00:54:35,240 --> 00:54:36,400 I was trying to give him physics. 971 00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:39,760 That's where it started. So to me, it's an example of the 972 00:54:39,760 --> 00:54:42,840 place where you put your establish and go a little bit 973 00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:46,520 out of your comfort zone. That's where you create the more 974 00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:50,000 most meaningful, you know, make the most meaningful progress, 975 00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:51,520 create the most meaningful connections. 976 00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:56,640 So, yeah. So shout out to to to your to 977 00:54:56,640 --> 00:54:58,880 your beautiful family and hopefully we'll have the 978 00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:02,560 strength to make right decisions You have Nahama. 979 00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:04,320 So I'll tell you what Rod Blahman told me. 980 00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:07,000 Do whatever Nahama says. That'll work. 981 00:55:07,120 --> 00:55:08,800 You don't have to. You don't have to have any of 982 00:55:08,800 --> 00:55:10,280 this anxiety about life decisions. 983 00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:12,080 Yaaku, you're good. Thank you, thank you. 984 00:55:12,080 --> 00:55:14,960 This has been very special. And I think just the the joy, 985 00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:17,160 the positive attitude and finding the people and being 986 00:55:17,160 --> 00:55:19,200 there for the people along, I think that's for me one of the 987 00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:21,000 main takeaways of this fantastic conversation. 988 00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:22,680 So Doctor Levy, thank you for joining us. 989 00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:24,120 And we have to do this again, because there's so much more 990 00:55:24,120 --> 00:55:25,760 that we didn't even cover yet. That's right. 991 00:55:25,760 --> 00:55:27,920 If I if now if you don't call me, it's going to be awkward. 992 00:55:29,960 --> 00:55:31,000 Yeah. I love, love to you and your 993 00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:32,880 family to everyone in Israel. We're on our way back. 994 00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:34,280 Never felt more confident of that. 995 00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:35,600 We're working on it. OK. 996 00:55:35,840 --> 00:55:39,000 So we should be able to go should go through all of life's 997 00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:40,600 chapters. You talk about all the stations 998 00:55:40,800 --> 00:55:43,360 you're earlier on in your in your stage than I am. 999 00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:46,640 But I give you a bracha that every stage you should be able 1000 00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:50,720 to fulfill your potential beyond your wildest dreams and do as 1001 00:55:50,720 --> 00:55:53,360 you have been doing help others do that as well. 1002 00:55:53,360 --> 00:55:55,320 It's an incredible thing that you're doing and you should 1003 00:55:55,320 --> 00:55:57,440 continue to have the strength to do it and have be very much 1004 00:55:57,480 --> 00:55:59,200 Leah. Oh man, thank you. 1005 00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:02,400 That's our show for today. If you enjoy Stark Tank, you 1006 00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:06,000 will also enjoy The Stark Tank via WhatsApp, where we send 1007 00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:08,560 episode updates, exclusive bonus content and more. 1008 00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:10,480 The link is in the show notes.