1
00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,600
I'm an audit partner at PwC and 
I don't like auditing. 

2
00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:04,640
I actually hate it. 
I hate auditing itself. 

3
00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:07,960
But what I do like about it is 
teaching, reflecting, mentoring,

4
00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:10,480
business development, getting 
new clients, developing new 

5
00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:12,240
relationships. 
I gave a sharing between Nicola 

6
00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:15,400
Marv and Rosh Hashanah once and 
he's like, wow, I really enjoyed

7
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,880
this year. 
You want to give a Hamish here 

8
00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:20,080
on Thursday nights? 
And I think that's a little bit 

9
00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:23,080
of a lost art BE and Hamish. 
And then I got into fundraising 

10
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:27,120
and I realized that I honed that
skill in terms of being able to 

11
00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:29,600
help organizations fundraise as 
well. 

12
00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:32,280
I'm not saying that you 
shouldn't pick something that is

13
00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:34,080
not fulfilling. 
Of course it should be 

14
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:36,120
fulfilling. 
But I think we might be erring 

15
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,600
too much on the side of, well, 
it's not fulfilling. 

16
00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:40,560
I'm not going to do it. 
I I need to feel good about my 

17
00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:52,280
life. 
Chalam Alaikum and welcome to 

18
00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:54,560
Start Tank. 
Start Tank is a podcast about 

19
00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:57,200
the challenges and opportunities
of being a mentor in the 

20
00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,200
workforce. 
This week we are joined by Dove 

21
00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:01,560
Adler. 
He's an audit partner at PwC. 

22
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:04,200
He learns and teaches a lot of 
Torah, is involved in Hassed and

23
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:05,720
nonprofits and fundraising as 
well. 

24
00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:07,440
I look forward to discussing all
this with you, Dove. 

25
00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:09,120
So welcome, and thank you so 
much for joining us. 

26
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:11,760
Thank you Yaakov, which really 
is a host to be on. 

27
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:13,480
I listen to Start tape all the 
time. 

28
00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:15,400
It's one of my new favorite 
podcasts. 

29
00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:18,280
Awesome. 
So let's jump into it with your,

30
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,840
you know, upbringing. 
You grew up in a, a rabbinic 

31
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,400
home. 
You are a rabbi's son. 

32
00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:25,160
So also know what that was like 
growing up in such a home. 

33
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,120
What were the enjoyable things, 
less enjoyable things about 

34
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:29,440
that? 
Sure. 

35
00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:30,800
I really appreciate that. 
So I grew home. 

36
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:33,960
I grew up in Teaneck, NJ, and my
father was Rabbiosi father. 

37
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:35,720
It's a corner of the Braja. 
It was just nipped there in 

38
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:38,360
September. 
And growing up overall, I had a 

39
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:42,320
brother and two sisters and my 
parents never forced anything 

40
00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:44,040
upon us. 
I think that was really the 

41
00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:46,680
mantra, the home. 
And understandably, as anyone 

42
00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:48,680
could understand, the rabbi is 
busy day and night. 

43
00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:51,440
But I could tell you that it's 
very different than nowadays 

44
00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,040
from what I see, because there 
were no phones. 

45
00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:57,040
So when my father was busy, he 
was on a physical phone, calling

46
00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:59,720
people back, doing his shoe 
room, doing his learning, 

47
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,920
constantly dealing with the 
Tibor. 

48
00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:05,280
But he always made time for us. 
And every night he would come 

49
00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:06,960
home for dinner. 
We'd have dinner between let's 

50
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,960
say 6:00 and 7:00 and then he 
would go back out to the show, 

51
00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:12,760
teach the room, deal with the 
deal with the Balabata and deal 

52
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:14,560
with the phone calls, deal with 
the follow-ups. 

53
00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,760
But to me is really is a host. 
And each one of our siblings, 

54
00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:20,600
you could see from the Hespaden 
that we did at the Leviah, each 

55
00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:23,000
one of us have our own 
personalities and that really 

56
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,360
comes forward and we each dealt 
with it a little bit 

57
00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:27,480
differently. 
I always went, I always went to 

58
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,960
show with my father when I was 
even 5-6 years old, sitting 

59
00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:32,120
right next to him. 
He was sitting in the front of 

60
00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:33,720
the rabbi's seat. 
I would sit right next to him. 

61
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,480
I would stay in for his Joshos, 
I'd stay in for his Urim. 

62
00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:38,760
But I could understand what I 
can't understand. 

63
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,560
And to me, it was just something
that I was always proud of. 

64
00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:44,480
But of course, it came with a 
lot of different challenges. 

65
00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:46,040
Overall, we only took two 
vacations. 

66
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:47,600
I tell my I tell my kids this 
all the time. 

67
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,040
We took two vacations, went to 
Eric this row once when I was a 

68
00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:52,520
kid, I went to Orlando once and 
every other winter break was 

69
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,320
home. 
We would actually go to his 

70
00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:55,880
school sometimes. 
That was some of the fun. 

71
00:02:56,640 --> 00:02:59,120
So you can imagine some of the 
financial struggles or details. 

72
00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:02,400
But we never felt like we missed
out on anything and never felt 

73
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,800
like we didn't have anything. 
And it was really the host to 

74
00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:06,160
grow up in a shul. 
We're not your straw. 

75
00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:09,960
And it was a principal TIPC also
until nobody started later on to

76
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:13,080
really own that from as a horse 
in terms of that relationship 

77
00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:16,160
and the covered that I think the
community really gave to him and

78
00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,320
I really built up on that over 
the years. 

79
00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:21,480
The way you describe those 
vacations, it almost sounded 

80
00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,480
like, you know, you got, you 
went to vacations like you went 

81
00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,440
to Orlando artist Charl like 
every year, Like that's like the

82
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:27,560
normal thing, right? 
And you'll leave. 

83
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,040
How far from it Nowadays it's a 
little bit different. 

84
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:34,360
And my kid, I tell my kids this 
all the time and then they're 

85
00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:36,160
like, ah, but we know when you 
were a kid, you never did 

86
00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,840
vacations. 
You went to your Israel trip 

87
00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:39,600
when you were 10. 
We went to Eric to strong. 

88
00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:42,000
Actually, we were, I was 10 
years old and my siblings a 

89
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,120
little were a little bit 
younger. 

90
00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:44,600
My father did not. 
We actually went for the whole 

91
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,440
summer. 
My father did not come for July 

92
00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:49,000
because he was teaching Lincoln 
Square summer school, Summer 

93
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:52,200
Shuran and Summer Tamidim. 
He was teaching Lincoln Square 

94
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,760
and my mother took us for the 
first month and he joined us in 

95
00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:56,360
August and that was one of the 
trips. 

96
00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,600
And then Orlando 1983, still 
remember it. 

97
00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:02,320
We went as a family and that was
the last time that we did that 

98
00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,520
until much later in life. 
And it just gave us an 

99
00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:08,840
appreciation of family time, but
also recognizing that you just 

100
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:10,520
can't do what you want. 
You have to do with what's in 

101
00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:11,760
your means and within your 
boundaries. 

102
00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:13,600
Right. 
And so obviously, you know, as 

103
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,800
you indicated, times do change 
and everyone has their own their

104
00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:18,880
own situation. 
Every, every generation, every 

105
00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:20,760
family is different. 
But I'm sure there must have 

106
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,040
been a lot that you learned 
about as you alluded to. 

107
00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,560
I just like to maybe zoom in a 
little bit more on a living a 

108
00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:28,480
very happy and fulfilled life 
despite not having tons of 

109
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,040
money, extravagant 
externalities. 

110
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,680
And how do you communicate that 
to children and inculcate that 

111
00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:35,240
in them? 
Like I said, there was nothing 

112
00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:37,000
that we felt like we were 
missing. 

113
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:40,920
And I think that's really 
because my father spent the time

114
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:44,000
with us and my parents, my 
father and my mother, both of 

115
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,720
them, in terms of raising us, 
really dedicated a lot of time 

116
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,640
with us. 
We didn't feel like we were 

117
00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:50,480
missing anything. 
We would talk to him all the 

118
00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,000
time about we had and what we 
hadn't. 

119
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,600
But it wasn't like we can't do 
this or we can't do that. 

120
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:57,560
It was let's go here for the 
summers, went to a bungalow 

121
00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:00,320
colony dictionary's bungalow 
colony until was a little older 

122
00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:03,200
and we could go to camp for a 
couple of months and that was 

123
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:04,480
it. 
That was an amazing experience 

124
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:07,560
for us and we had a whole cover 
there and for us that was just 

125
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,320
the way that we were brought up.
That was our life. 

126
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:11,840
It was this is the way it was. 
We didn't know anything better, 

127
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,880
but it wasn't like we were 
looking to our right, looking to

128
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,040
our left saying I wish I had 
this. 

129
00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:17,120
I wish I had. 
That was also a lot simpler 

130
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:18,320
times. 
I don't think as many people 

131
00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:21,080
want to weigh in general like 
you have nowadays with a lot of 

132
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:23,760
people going to job for circus 
and pay sock and winter break 

133
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,960
and doing all different 
vacations, yada, yada, yada. 

134
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,400
The times were very, very 
different as well. 

135
00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:32,440
So I don't think it had a 
significant differences, so to 

136
00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:33,840
speak, even though we didn't 
feel it. 

137
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,160
So you grew up in a rabbi's 
home. 

138
00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:38,880
You had a great relationship and
a great household growing up. 

139
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,400
So did you consider following 
your father's footsteps as a 

140
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,520
rabbi yourself? 
That's a great question, Yaakov.

141
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,840
I get that all the time. 
I actually did. 

142
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:50,880
I love teaching and even as a 
young adult, I would say 2021, 

143
00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,200
my father would go on vacation 
and he let me give the drasha in

144
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:55,600
Rena on Shabbos. 
And the first time I did that, 

145
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:59,080
really, really nervous. 400 
families, a lot of comedic 

146
00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:02,240
hamem, high level of learning in
the shul, have to prepare 

147
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:03,680
something. 
Well, I'll go over with him in 

148
00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:05,040
advance. 
Just what I wanted to say. 

149
00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,360
And I realized that that was 
something that I liked and I 

150
00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:10,680
enjoyed and I could do that. 
But I also saw the life of 

151
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:15,520
rabunas, the constant, constant 
busyness, every single minute 

152
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,840
without the financial reward. 
And to me, I wanted a little bit

153
00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:21,080
of a different balance. 
So I thought about that. 

154
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,680
I spoke to a lot of people. 
He really, my father set me up 

155
00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:26,160
with a lot of members of the 
shul to talk about finance, 

156
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:27,800
accounting, different 
professions. 

157
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:29,240
Two things I knew I didn't want 
to do. 

158
00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:31,600
I did not want to be a doctor. 
I did not want to be a lawyer. 

159
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:33,880
So after that, the world was 
open to me in terms of that. 

160
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:37,920
I chose accounting because it 
was more reliable, so to speak. 

161
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:40,560
There wasn't as many 
fluctuations in the market, ups 

162
00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:42,320
and downs. 
We have our busy seasons every 

163
00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:43,600
every job you got to work hard 
at. 

164
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,680
But I chose that and I realized 
that I could be fulfilled in a 

165
00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:48,640
lot of other ways getting 
involved with the community, 

166
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:52,160
continue to do serious learning 
and continue to build on that as

167
00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:55,040
my life progressed, which really
has come to fruition a lot of 

168
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:58,000
different ways. 
It's interesting, one of the 

169
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,920
things that you mentioned is 
that you had these early 

170
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:04,840
experiences, a very young guy 
speaking in front of a big kila 

171
00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:06,360
in front of a Accomplishability 
Hamim. 

172
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,640
And that's not what scared you 
away. 

173
00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:11,800
That's not what turned you down.
You did find yourself, you made 

174
00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:13,960
it sound like that that was you 
were able to handle that. 

175
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,280
And I'm wondering how you did 
handle that because, you know, a

176
00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:18,920
lot of people, they come up, 
they, they're young, they don't 

177
00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:21,120
necessarily see themselves as 
rabbis because like, they're 

178
00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,720
older people who have been 
around more and maybe learning 

179
00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:25,880
more. 
And then they that that in 

180
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,200
itself is a factor that turns 
them away from Henra Bonos, 

181
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,000
forgetting all the other things.
So what do you think gave you 

182
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,200
the confidence to do that? 
A stand up in front of a whole 

183
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:34,560
show at 20 years old. 
My father gave me the 

184
00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:36,680
confidence, There's no one else 
that gave me the confidence 

185
00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:39,480
other than my father. 
I would learn with him a lot 

186
00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:41,680
growing up and like I said, me 
and my brother are very 

187
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:42,960
different. 
But I would take advantage of 

188
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,400
the fact learning with him on 
shop this afternoon, learn with 

189
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:46,480
him a little bit during the 
week. 

190
00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:48,840
I learned with him from my bar 
mitzvah consents and study 

191
00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:51,880
around Michnayas. 
So we constantly had that ideas 

192
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:53,440
after Joshua's that he would 
give. 

193
00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:56,280
I would love to give him her 
arrows on the Joshua's and I 

194
00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:57,720
still do today. 
Can that's Robbie Newberger. 

195
00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,160
It's one of my favorite things. 
I go with Robbie Newberg and I 

196
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,640
give him a nice little horror 
and he likes it. 

197
00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:02,560
He's like, oh, that's really 
good. 

198
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:04,120
He does. 
He's like, OK to work on that a 

199
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:07,000
little bit, a little bit quiet, 
but you got to keep trying. 

200
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,920
So I never had that lack of 
confidence. 

201
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:10,920
And my father said the first 
time he asked me to do it, I 

202
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,080
said, I can't do this. 
I'm 2021 years old. 

203
00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,320
I can't get up in front of the 
entire shul and give a drusha. 

204
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,360
And he's like, no, you can. 
You really have something to 

205
00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:19,960
say. 
Think about develop it, work at 

206
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:23,640
it with me and, and the key was 
just going ahead and doing it. 

207
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,240
And I realized that people get 
highs for all different things, 

208
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,880
all different ways that they go 
performances in front of people.

209
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:31,520
It really gave me the 
confidence. 

210
00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:34,039
Once people reacted in a 
different way and they were 

211
00:08:34,039 --> 00:08:35,400
like, wow, though, that was 
really good. 

212
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:37,720
Love to give you something else.
You give me another opportunity.

213
00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:40,720
It got to the point where Yum no
Rahim, there were too many 

214
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,480
Miyama. 
There was a rabbi, an assistant 

215
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,560
rabbi, and we had three to four 
Miyana, sometimes 5 Miyanaim. 

216
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:47,400
I'd get a slot on Yom Kippur 
Knight. 

217
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:50,840
I get a slot on Rosh Hashanah 
because the Tebow was asking and

218
00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,760
they really appreciated what I 
could bring to the table because

219
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:56,720
of me modeling. 
My father and I tell kids days 

220
00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:59,280
nowadays all the time I see kids
walking out for Josh's. 

221
00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:01,440
It's the worst thing to do. 
Even if you're not learning 

222
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:03,520
anything, stay in for the 
Rabbi's Joshua. 

223
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:05,680
Even through osmosis. 
You're going to pick something 

224
00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:08,840
up, but you'll pick up a style. 
You'll pick up a mahalif in 

225
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,880
Drush that I really modeled 
after my father and tried to 

226
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:14,680
take in my own direction as I 
grew up, so I wasn't scared 

227
00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:15,920
about getting up in front of a 
crowd. 

228
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:19,520
I model professional speaking. 
I model public speaking all the 

229
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,000
time. 
It's something that I really 

230
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,280
crafted and honed on when I was 
a kid. 

231
00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:26,800
I was much more shy, 891011 
years old, did not want to speak

232
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:28,800
the Gabe. 
I always asked me to do a Dona 

233
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:30,600
Lump, always asked me to do 
Yagda. 

234
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:33,200
Never wanted to do it. 
Never, never, never, never. 

235
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:36,480
But once I got it to be more of 
an adult, so to speak, even a 

236
00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:39,520
young adult, I was able to 
really weave in the speaking 

237
00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:40,800
aspect and that's something that
I love doing. 

238
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:44,240
I love speaking at work, 
conferences, all different areas

239
00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:46,680
and of course giving Torah. 
Amazing, amazing. 

240
00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:49,440
And I also certainly appreciate 
the the importance of public 

241
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:51,400
speaking as a skill and 
something I also sort of 

242
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:54,200
developed slowly over time. 
It will come to enjoy it also 

243
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,160
the the importance of staying in
for Joshos. 

244
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:59,240
I I I believe my Rebbe Ravaran 
Friedman, who today the Russian 

245
00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:02,600
Shiva of Karen Bavina once told 
me that he has tremendous across

246
00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:05,440
for his father forced him to 
stay into draw shows for his 

247
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:07,760
local shore of who I believe was
of Shoma Volbe. 

248
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:11,120
But at the time he couldn't 
stand it, but he looking back, 

249
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:12,920
really does appreciate it. 
That's very interesting as well.

250
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:14,480
So let's go a little more into 
your work. 

251
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:15,520
You said you became an 
accountant. 

252
00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:17,840
So maybe tell us about what that
was like in the early days, 

253
00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:20,440
starting out as a young guy, a 
from guy in the in the 

254
00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,120
accounting world. 
What were some of the shocks 

255
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,360
that you encountered when you 
started out? 

256
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:26,480
Sure. 
I graduated Yu in 1997, started 

257
00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,920
at Cooper's and Library and that
was before they merged with 

258
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,400
Pricewaterhouse PW for to make 
PwC. 

259
00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,280
That happened in July 1998, 
started as an associate in our 

260
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:37,600
capital markets practice dealing
with financial services clients 

261
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:40,400
and then we were developing a 
hedge fund practice, an asset 

262
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,440
management practice, small 
startup hedge funds. 

263
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,000
We're starting. 
But the first decision that I 

264
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,840
had to make working into the 
workforce was do I wear a 

265
00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:50,920
keeper? 
And even in the in the late 90s,

266
00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:52,600
most people did not wear 
keepers. 

267
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,360
And when I got to troopers in 
Lybrand, there was nobody 

268
00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:57,720
wearing our keeper. 
And me and another friend, we 

269
00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:00,400
decided that we're going to CNL.
And another one of my good 

270
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:02,640
friends, Mark Rosenbaum, went to
Price Waterhouse. 

271
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:05,360
And we always joke about that. 
And I spoke to my father, 

272
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:08,480
understood the halacha and I 
just felt more uncomfortable not

273
00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:11,560
wearing it than wearing it. 
And I felt like it's going to be

274
00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:13,440
a good heck. 
Care for me going into the 

275
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,800
workforce, understanding who you
are, representing our cutters, 

276
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,520
broker, representing Torah, all 
of that that we preach. 

277
00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:20,960
I had the opportunity to put 
into practice and I wore a 

278
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,360
keeper and I can tell you that 
it had an impact. 

279
00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:26,320
It had an impact both ways 
because you definitely felt 

280
00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:28,120
people looking at you in a 
little bit a different way. 

281
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,480
Even if they know you're Jewish.
When you're from and you're 

282
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:33,240
wearing a keeper in a conference
room with 15 people and you're 

283
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:35,880
the only one, it's a little bit 
jarring sometimes. 

284
00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:39,240
As I became manager, I started 
thinking about will this impact 

285
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,840
me becoming a partner, yes or 
no? 

286
00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,760
I didn't think it would, but you
never know down the road how 

287
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:47,680
things work out or Hashem. 
PwC is a very, very diverse 

288
00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:49,600
environment and encourages all 
that. 

289
00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:51,880
And as I worked throughout my 
career, I had different 

290
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,360
experiences, had different 
opportunities to go on business 

291
00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:56,880
development and a partner in 
2008. 

292
00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:59,440
And I was one of the first 
partners to wear Keepa. 

293
00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:01,120
And to me, I was really, really 
proud. 

294
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:04,760
And I look back now over the 
last 20 years, PwC is filled 

295
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:08,040
with people from Brooklyn and 
Lakewood and Teaneck and five 

296
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,400
towns all over the place wearing
Keepas. 

297
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,720
I'm very proud of that, that 
we're able to start that. 

298
00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:15,000
Amazing. 
And you mentioned that you, when

299
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,000
you were deliberating about 
this, you saw it as a real 

300
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:21,200
opportunity to Mika Hashem to 
apply the values that you learn 

301
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:24,240
in Shoal and at home and in 
yeshiva in the outside world 

302
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:25,800
and, and spread the light 
onward. 

303
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:28,960
Was that saying that you had 
considered before when you were 

304
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:30,640
deciding between being a rabbi 
and not? 

305
00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:32,000
That's sort of Part 1 of the 
question. 

306
00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:35,080
And to add a Part 2 is you think
that people appreciate this 

307
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:38,720
point enough that you can really
have a very important mission in

308
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:40,880
a Kershboro whose world 
specifically through making 

309
00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:43,280
Kershaw at work or do people 
sort of just try to like get by 

310
00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:45,600
at work and then really realize 
and express our voice Hashem 

311
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:47,480
back home in the base pages that
night. 

312
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:51,400
Your question is so poignantly 
on target for today's times. 

313
00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:54,000
So I'll start off by reflecting 
in terms of the decision of me 

314
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,840
to become a rabbi or not, it had
nothing to do with it. 

315
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,240
I just like to teach. 
I like to learn, I like to 

316
00:12:58,240 --> 00:12:59,880
teach. 
I like that aspect of 

317
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,680
communicating. 
I like mentoring at work, One of

318
00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:02,960
the things that I like doing at 
work. 

319
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:05,520
And I'm an auto partner at PwC. 
And I say this all the time and 

320
00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:07,400
my teens laugh. 
I don't like auditing. 

321
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:09,560
I actually hate it. 
I hate auditing itself, the 

322
00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:12,400
blocking and tackling of 
deciding two different things. 

323
00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:15,440
You issue an opinion on the 
financial statements at 99 out 

324
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:18,520
of 100.99% of the time. 
You know the answer before you 

325
00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:20,600
start. 
But what I do like about it is 

326
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:24,080
teaching, reflecting, mentoring,
business development, getting 

327
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:25,880
new clients, developing new 
relationships. 

328
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:27,240
And that's the same thing with 
teaching. 

329
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,600
And that's the same skill set 
that I enjoyed as to what I 

330
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:33,800
decided to do with my career. 
So that really Kiddush Hashem, I

331
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,400
know had no aspect in that. 
But at work, we talk about this 

332
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,440
all the time. 
And at work we talk about this 

333
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,640
all the time around the fact 
that you have, whether you're 

334
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,640
wearing a keeper or not, 
everyone knows you're Jewish. 

335
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,760
They for sure know that you're 
firm when you're leaving early 

336
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:47,960
on Fridays and deal with the 
Yamato Ven and whatnot when you 

337
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,880
have that opportunity in a lot 
of different ways. 

338
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:53,280
But as I roll the camera 
forward, as I look to today's 

339
00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:56,800
days and age, I'm constantly 
talking to kids but not taking 

340
00:13:56,800 --> 00:14:01,040
the shortcuts, not leaving 
early, not walking out because 

341
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,000
your second cousin is getting 
married again and it's busy 

342
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,200
season or your best friend or so
and so on. 

343
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,680
How do I work things out? 
Or working from home 

344
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:10,200
consistently and never coming 
into the office because it's 

345
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:13,040
more convenient. 
So now I think we really see an 

346
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:16,520
ebb and a flow around. 
It's more of an attitude around 

347
00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:18,760
the kids nowadays. 
And I hate saying that from a 

348
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:22,240
perspective of just preaching. 
I don't want to preach around 

349
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,640
that. 
But it is something that kids 

350
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:27,160
that are coming out of college, 
coming out of Yu, coming out of 

351
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:31,080
other organizations have to be 
more understanding that when 

352
00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:35,080
you're taking the lazy way out, 
it reflects poorly on your 

353
00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:38,440
Yiddish kite, on everything that
you're trying not to do. 

354
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:41,040
And you have a tremendous 
opportunity to be the exact 

355
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:42,920
opposite. 
That's so interesting. 

356
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:44,840
So there's a few things I want 
to follow up on that first, you 

357
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:46,600
know, maybe we'll start with 
that last point about the 

358
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,280
shortcuts, which is very 
interesting. 

359
00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:52,640
You know, I at the certain point
in Yeshiva, I I came across this

360
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:55,600
book by a guy named Tim Ferriss 
called the four hour workweek, 

361
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,840
and I thought it was very 
interesting concept because I 

362
00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:01,400
was like, wait a second, Doesn't
missiles Sharm quote the mission

363
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,440
of Perico Avos, which says that 
you're supposed to be my ASIC 

364
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:07,040
Laso Patora and the Masil serum 
elaborates that you're supposed 

365
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,440
to really try to minimize your 
work as much as you can and 

366
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:11,440
really maximize your time for 
learning as much as possible. 

367
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,240
Those two ideas seem to come 
together in my mind and you they

368
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:16,760
all seem to be expressed in what
you described as sort of an 

369
00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:19,200
unhealthy attitude towards work.
You're Dafka saying, no, you 

370
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,640
shouldn't be my basic. 
You should be my basic because 

371
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:24,000
you're making kiddo Sasham. 
So how do you think about that? 

372
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:27,240
Mama has all that source and how
it pertains to the current 

373
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:30,680
reality that you described. 
To make Camacho in Torah it goes

374
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,080
both ways. 
I'll quote that Mama kazal that 

375
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:36,160
from an overall perspective you 
have to know the balance. 

376
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:40,400
Going out every single night 
with the non Jews on your team 

377
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:44,400
to a bar is not needed. 
Hanging out once in a while, 

378
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:47,000
understanding which ones. 
If you're an associate, when the

379
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,000
partner's gonna be there, that's
important. 

380
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,480
When the client's gonna be 
there, that's important. 

381
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:55,200
It's much more important to time
management and pick and choose 

382
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:57,560
when you're going to be going 
above and beyond. 

383
00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:01,560
But to get the basic job done, 
there is a given time frame and 

384
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,520
I tell my team all the time, I 
don't care how many hours you 

385
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:05,240
were as long as you get the job 
done. 

386
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:08,160
So if an associate could get the
job done in a four hour work 

387
00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:10,160
week, which is impossible, we're
actually in the middle of busy 

388
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:12,000
season right now. 
March is the busiest month of 

389
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,480
the year for many public 
accounts. 

390
00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:16,520
If you could get the job done in
4 hours, call it a vote. 

391
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:20,960
But if it takes you 18 hours a 
day between January, February, 

392
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,480
March. 
So in the summer you might be 

393
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:24,560
able to work 4 hours a day and 
that's OK also. 

394
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:28,040
So you have to be able to know 
what the system requires of you 

395
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:31,680
to put your hole in and while 
you're there, give it your 

396
00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:34,240
whole. 
What I'm finding is that even 

397
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,480
while they're at the office, 
people are constantly 

398
00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:37,680
distracted. 
This is nothing new. 

399
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:40,240
It's 2026, you're distracted by 
1000 things. 

400
00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:42,960
However, if you're able to focus
on getting that work done, 

401
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:45,560
developing relationships. 
A lot of kids don't realize how 

402
00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:47,760
important it is to develop 
relationships because 

403
00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,520
relationships drive business. 
Relationships drives everything 

404
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:54,360
in your life, but it takes time 
and effort to put that time in 

405
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,840
after work. 
Sometimes going out for a lunch 

406
00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:58,720
that yes, if I spend an hour 
going out for lunch with a 

407
00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:01,800
client, I might have to stay an 
hour later doing my work, but 

408
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,840
that's worth it. 
So you really have to be able to

409
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,920
balance what you're doing and 
what you're choosing. 

410
00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:08,040
And it's not replacing your 
Torah learning. 

411
00:17:08,079 --> 00:17:10,280
And we can get into this a 
little bit later, but Torah 

412
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:13,119
learning is primary and has to 
be a part of your life 

413
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,599
consistently if it's something 
that's important to you. 

414
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:18,760
It's interesting because, you 
know, you mentioned the, the 

415
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:22,079
tendency or the the temptation 
to work from home every single 

416
00:17:22,079 --> 00:17:24,720
day if there's a room for that. 
And so there's another sort of 

417
00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:27,079
thing that came up was that I 
was starting to think a little 

418
00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:29,000
more about my transition from 
yeshiva to the workforce. 

419
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,600
Right as the pandemic was 
hitting and the entire world, 

420
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:33,440
the work was shifting. 
I was like, wow, this is a great

421
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,960
opportunity for people to shave 
hours off of their week and 

422
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:37,840
maximize their potato learning. 
So all these things started in 

423
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:39,720
my mind where like there are 
there are all these 

424
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:42,360
opportunities that come up that 
could, you know, lead you to 

425
00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:44,760
human eye basic besopa Torah. 
But on the other hand, you're 

426
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:48,440
saying there's also a value in 
doing the best job you can, even

427
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:52,480
if that may becomes a hushbone 
or an account on, you know, 

428
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,520
instead of certain hours of Tor 
learning, maybe not the 

429
00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:57,200
curiosity, but other 
opportunities. 

430
00:17:57,360 --> 00:18:00,400
So it's just really a balance 
that you have to strike. 100% 

431
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,520
you have to strike that balance 
and people talk about work life 

432
00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:04,640
balance. 
Work life balance to me, one of 

433
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,640
my early mentors on his name was
Brendan Dewar. 

434
00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:09,680
He was an old partner at the 
firm and he would say work life 

435
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:14,040
balance is on an annual basis, 
not a daily basis, sometimes a 

436
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:17,880
monthly basis, sometimes a three
month basis that I know as an 

437
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:20,640
accountant. 
When I was 24 years old, I was 

438
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:24,120
working from eight, 9:00 in the 
morning till 2:00 in the morning

439
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:27,200
every every single February 
March and I was not changing. 

440
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,520
I still would try and stop 
learning in here and there. 

441
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,000
Could I have my consistent seder
with my Carusa? 

442
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,920
It was way before any remote 
learning, any type of Zoom 

443
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:36,200
activity. 
No such thing. 

444
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:37,720
It wasn't in person. 
It wasn't happening. 

445
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:40,640
So I knew that that had to be 
sacrificed during that mini 

446
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:42,920
takufa of time. 
But then you have to pick it up 

447
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:44,080
again. 
You have to make sure that 

448
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:46,760
you're making up the hours or 
when you have more time, do what

449
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:48,800
you're doing with the more time.
And our video Burger talks about

450
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:52,600
this all the time that when you 
have the free time and when you 

451
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:56,080
have the ability to set aside 
time to do whatever, if you set 

452
00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,520
aside that time for learning, 
that's showing you where your 

453
00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:00,760
mindset is. 
And I call this bro who really 

454
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:04,080
treats it as if your other busy 
time is the same Shamayim as 

455
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:05,840
well. 
You're taking the time to spend 

456
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:08,040
time learning on a Sunday 
morning when you're not going to

457
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,280
work. 
And even during busy season when

458
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:11,480
you're working till 2:00 in the 
morning, your Sundays are a 

459
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:14,240
little bit lighter to take 1/2 
hour in the morning to have an 

460
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,160
extra seder. 
When you're doing that, it's 

461
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:19,080
showing where your mind wants to
be and what your heart wants to 

462
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:20,560
be. 
And I call this bro who treats 

463
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,400
it appropriately. 
Amazing. 

464
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:24,400
That is very, very beautiful. 
The other thing that you were 

465
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,160
speaking about is the fact that 
on the one hand you hate your 

466
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:28,640
work, on the other hand, you 
love your work. 

467
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:30,840
So it's very interesting how you
describe that. 

468
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:34,240
And the other sort of dynamic 
that you touched on is the fact 

469
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:37,240
that the industry that you're 
in, the job title that you have 

470
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,760
and the skill sets that you 
have, you know, there's a way to

471
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:42,480
make those two things work 
together. 

472
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:44,680
So I'm wondering if you could 
describe how you think people 

473
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:48,880
should go about finding careers 
that are fulfilling, meaningful,

474
00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:50,800
to what extent you should be 
looking for that, not for that. 

475
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,240
How do you balance your skill 
sets, what you're passionate 

476
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:54,320
about? 
What's gonna make you the most 

477
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:55,960
Paranasa? 
How do we put all things things 

478
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:57,600
together? 
Because you, in a very few 

479
00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:00,840
sentences, sort of smashed some 
of the paradigms around, you 

480
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:03,160
know, following your passion, 
following your calling and all 

481
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,640
that stuff. 
So it's a lot more nuanced. 

482
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,320
It's very different. 
I'm wondering if you could try 

483
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:09,320
to give an overview on that 
topic. 

484
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,440
Yeah, of course, Yaakov. 
I mean, I mean, I don't mean to 

485
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:14,040
smash the paradigms, but the 
first thing you have to do is 

486
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:16,080
establish your goals. 
What do you want out of your 

487
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:18,480
career? 
What are your goals in terms of 

488
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,680
long and short term, but also 
your attitude To me, this is 

489
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:24,760
also a shift in generation. 
I don't mean to be harping on 

490
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,560
it, but when I started work, I 
was 21 years old. 

491
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,600
I got married young. 
I had to pay my bills. 

492
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:32,520
The number one requirement for a
job was am I going to be able to

493
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:35,480
pay my bills, the nachos over 
the course of my career. 

494
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:38,720
And it is going to give me the 
ability and the flexibility to 

495
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,760
live within a certain amount of 
nachos. 

496
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:42,800
And the attitude was I got to go
to work. 

497
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,680
I got to work hard. 
I got to, I got to be able to 

498
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:47,720
advance and work my way up 
whether I like it or not. 

499
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,560
Nowadays you are going to be 
changing firms a lot more than 

500
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,520
we are in terms of as we're 
growing up. 

501
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:56,600
But picking and choosing a 
career is very important. 

502
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,800
I'm not saying that you 
shouldn't pick something that is

503
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,600
not fulfilling. 
Of course it should be 

504
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,880
fulfilling, but I think we might
be erring too much on the side 

505
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:05,720
of, well, if it's not 
fulfilling, I'm not going to do 

506
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:07,120
it. 
I need to feel good about my 

507
00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:08,800
life. 
You know what those jobs are? 

508
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:11,320
You want to be a doctor, You 
want to be a Rebbe, You want to 

509
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:13,000
be a Takinov, You want to be a 
Rub. 

510
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,120
Everyone knows what the real 
fulfilling jobs are. 

511
00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:18,560
You want to be a psychologist, I
try and do is and it's possible 

512
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:21,080
to do this to pick the 
fulfillment even in the 

513
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,000
professional jobs that on the 
surface don't seem fulfilling 

514
00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:27,160
and make them fulfilling. 
Get involved with mentorship, 

515
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,680
get involved with business 
development, get involved with 

516
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,440
helping someone else. 
Just get a job. 

517
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:33,840
So you're part of a big firm. 
You could make a referral. 

518
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:35,840
You could speak to people how to
practice their interviews. 

519
00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:38,640
You could help that Sieber by 
just going back to alma mater. 

520
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:42,080
Let's take let's take Yu going 
back to Yu as a second year 

521
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,280
associates. 
Now you're 23 years old, you're 

522
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:47,160
going back to why you to give 
back, to tell these people how 

523
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:50,360
you made it through, what you 
do, what were your processes and

524
00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:52,640
that sort of helps you with the 
fulfillment. 

525
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:55,680
So do you have to be fulfilled? 
I think yes, to an extent, but 

526
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:58,280
you also have to appreciate life
is very expensive. 

527
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:01,600
It's not getting cheaper. 
It's expensive to be affirmed 

528
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:05,000
you, especially in the where we 
live overall, whether you're in 

529
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,400
heritage or in America, wherever
you're living, it's expensive 

530
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:09,840
all over the place and there's 
different parameters of that, 

531
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,640
but you have to be able to 
assess what is your passion 

532
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:15,120
balanced by what your needs are 
for your family. 

533
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,360
And you mentioned that, you 
know, you, you said that when 

534
00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:20,720
you were a young man and maybe 
these things are different 

535
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:22,920
nowadays. 
You just you had bills there on 

536
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:24,840
you to pay. 
That was the end of the story. 

537
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:26,040
And today things are very 
different. 

538
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:28,240
You know, guys often they'll get
married and they'll learn a 

539
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:29,720
little bit and their parents 
will help them. 

540
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,200
So, you know, I'm not expecting 
you to say anything bad house 

541
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:34,680
talking about some extra Torah 
learning. 

542
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,320
But you know, I think you were 
alluding to a phenomenon where 

543
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:39,920
people have financial depends 
for a lot longer and that's sort

544
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,360
of creates different 
expectations and different and 

545
00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:44,880
different standards. 
So is that something that you 

546
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:48,720
view with some level of concern?
I said no, I'm a big supporter. 

547
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:50,880
I mean, I have kids right now in
Ramada school who I have a 

548
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:53,080
son-in-law learning the mirror. 
I have another son-in-law who 

549
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:54,760
took a year off to learn also 
when they got married. 

550
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:58,320
I'm a big supporter of if you 
have the ability and I could 

551
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,680
this bro who has blessed you 
with that and you want your son,

552
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,560
son-in-law, daughter, 
daughter-in-law to learn for a 

553
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:06,520
couple years, call a cavote. 
And I think it gives you a 

554
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,360
foundation of you learning as 
building a house building 

555
00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:11,600
building blocks. 
It's not the time and effort 

556
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:13,640
that you're doing for that 
moment, but you're building a 

557
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,800
foundation for your career and 
for your life of Yahadus and 

558
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:18,920
Ababo de Sasha. 
So the more that you could get 

559
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:20,960
in and the bigger, the bigger 
the foundation you have. 

560
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:24,520
If you don't have the, if you 
don't have to go to work, let's 

561
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:27,120
say, and you have parents in 
laws that are willing to support

562
00:23:27,120 --> 00:23:29,480
you. 
But after a year or two, so to 

563
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:32,400
speak, there has to be a plan. 
There has to be an ability where

564
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:34,320
you're going to become 
self-sufficient, where you're 

565
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:36,800
going to recognize that. 
And I'm not speaking down on 

566
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,440
anyone that's doing it for 
longer or shorter, but I don't 

567
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:40,680
want you to think I don't 
support that. 

568
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:44,000
I fully support if it's in the 
realm of your financial ability 

569
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:47,240
to support people in learning. 
I think it's very important, but

570
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:50,800
as well as to train the younger 
generation, sons, sons in law, 

571
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:53,200
daughters, daughters in law, 
etcetera, that there has to be a

572
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:56,000
plan as you're moving forward 
for self-sufficiency. 

573
00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:00,920
It's interesting because, you 
know, even when I was like, you 

574
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:02,680
know, young, before I was 
married, I was in yeshiva and 

575
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:05,280
people talk about plans and it 
was like, I don't know, it was, 

576
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:07,560
you know, it's exactly what 
you're talking about. 

577
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:09,720
Like it sort of didn't resonate 
with me so much. 

578
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:11,880
And now I'm a little bit older 
and some young people a little 

579
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,600
earlier than me speak to me and 
I, I end up talking about plans.

580
00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:18,080
I guess maybe at the heart of 
that is like maybe there's a 

581
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:20,960
certain sense of responsibility 
that if you know, if you're not 

582
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:25,120
really on tab and on being 
counted on for a certain 

583
00:24:25,120 --> 00:24:28,000
something financially, then you 
know, deep down it's sort of 

584
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,320
like it doesn't resonate as 
much. 

585
00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:31,960
Is that possible? 
100%, I think, I think that's, I

586
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:32,840
think you hit the nail on the 
head. 

587
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:34,720
It doesn't resonate. 
If someone's being supported and

588
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:37,080
they don't find the ability to 
where they're at. 

589
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:39,480
And I don't know how much people
give, how much people do, what 

590
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,120
bills they're paying, what 
apartments they're living in. 

591
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:45,640
It could create the perception 
which is in the child's mind. 

592
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,120
My parents are going to do this 
forever. 

593
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:51,120
I think one of the issues also 
is around this topic. 

594
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:54,400
Kids see a lot of affluence, 
Bharat Hashem, Kali. 

595
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,840
Australia is a lot more affluent
than they are nowadays than they

596
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:58,320
were 25 years ago. 
Now. 

597
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:00,680
There still are a lot of people 
struggling and there still are a

598
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:02,960
lot of people that struggle to 
pay their bills day-to-day. 

599
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:06,520
A lot of people, don't get me 
wrong, but what the kids see is 

600
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:10,320
and what the 21 year old sees is
the real estate guru, the guy 

601
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,160
that's making his $100 million 
deal. 

602
00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:15,120
They see the guy that's a 
partner at PwC, they see the guy

603
00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:16,960
that's a finance partner at 
Goldman Sachs. 

604
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:19,120
They see the guy that's running 
his hedge fund and pulling in 

605
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:22,280
10, fifteen, $20 million a year.
That's what they see and they 

606
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,800
think, oh, I could do that and 
they want that tomorrow. 

607
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,360
They don't see. 
When my kids were eight years 

608
00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:29,600
old, seven years old, six years 
old, I was in the office till 

609
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:33,000
2:00 in the morning to get to 
where I am today to have a lot 

610
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,040
more flexibility. 
They don't see that. 

611
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:37,000
They don't see the growth. 
They don't see the effort that's

612
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,560
been put in with the mazel from 
Akadis Barko. 

613
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:41,560
They just think, and there's 
more of an expectation. 

614
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,120
I could learn for 3-4 years and 
then yeah, I'm going to make a 

615
00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:45,280
lot of money. 
That's just the way it's going 

616
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:46,760
to be. 
And that is far from the truth. 

617
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:51,000
Wow, so you mentioned those sort
of early years that you were 

618
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:53,520
really had to push yourself hard
as a, you know, accountant in 

619
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:57,280
the busy seasons and and you and
you give an interesting 

620
00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:58,680
framework. 
You could have Neuberger how 

621
00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:00,800
like, you know, they're ebbs and
flows and you have to be able to

622
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:05,200
be able to, you know, transition
from different stages and and 

623
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,640
keep things going. 
So, you know, looking back on 

624
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:10,000
your Torah learning, what were 
some of the things that sort of 

625
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,560
kept you going or allowed you 
to? 

626
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:14,480
You know, I think everyone can 
resonate with the feeling of 

627
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:16,440
being swamped at work and 
cutting back on learning. 

628
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:19,040
That's like it just comes at you
and it, it's just how it is. 

629
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:22,000
But then how do you make sure 
you're in a place where when 

630
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,520
things open up a little more, 
whether it's within a year, 

631
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:26,520
whether it's in your career as 
you know you're growing older 

632
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:28,480
and more senior, as you 
indicated, as your kids are 

633
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:30,440
coming out of the house, that 
you're able to really wrap up 

634
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:31,880
the learning when that time 
comes? 

635
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:34,680
I would say start with, to me 
it's consistent. 

636
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,560
Have a Carusa. 
You must have a Carusa because 

637
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,040
you have to have someone that 
holds you accountable whether 

638
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:42,080
it's morning or night. 
I used to have a morning seder 

639
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:45,280
and a night seder. 
I would learn with John Tiger in

640
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:48,360
the mornings 53545 to a 630 
evening. 

641
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:51,280
That wasn't for me. 
I was missing too many times. 

642
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:53,720
I was oversleeping. 
The morning seder just wasn't 

643
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:55,480
focused, and I had a night seder
as well. 

644
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,600
Always having that night say it,
or always having that consistent

645
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:02,440
time frame within the framework 
of the day forces you to plan 

646
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:04,560
your day around learning. 
What time can we learn tonight? 

647
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:07,040
When can we put it together? 
What can we do? 

648
00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:09,280
And this way, if you have that 
Carusa that understands, he's 

649
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:11,160
gonna have things that he can't 
miss as well, and he's gonna 

650
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:14,120
have things that he can't do. 
And nowadays, even with Zoom and

651
00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:17,000
FaceTime, it's a lot easier to 
connect, to take that half hour 

652
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:20,760
break at work, potentially let's
say 8 to 830, do a quick Carusa.

653
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:22,560
When I was growing up, I 
couldn't do that. 

654
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:24,720
So either I was in person or was
not there. 

655
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:27,760
But having the Carusa framework 
was huge. 

656
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:31,000
And also as Karvitzheim and many
suggest, you should have two 

657
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:32,840
sedarum. 
You should have a formal seder 

658
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:35,640
and you should have an on the go
seder and on the ghost theater 

659
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,920
is have a pocket Machinias have 
something you could pull out. 

660
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:40,320
Have something to do. 
Show them by a theater as like 

661
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:42,720
lots, lots of people like to 
refer to when your wife is 

662
00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:45,440
getting ready for a SIM card 
changing dress as many times 

663
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:47,440
learn another mission. 
So you have a couple of 

664
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:50,480
different sodarum that keeps you
focused and as your career 

665
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:54,080
progresses, as you move, you 
potentially could have time for 

666
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:55,640
more learning. 
And it goes with the ebbs and 

667
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:57,840
flows as your kids as well. 
When you get home, you got to 

668
00:27:57,840 --> 00:27:59,560
spend time with the kids. 
You want to be helping them with

669
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:01,720
their homework, carpooling, 
going to games. 

670
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:04,120
I'm a big sports fan. 
Watching your kids play, 

671
00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:06,120
bringing them to sporting 
events, doing whatever you're 

672
00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:09,520
going to be doing is obviously 
top of mind and that's part of 

673
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:10,920
Nirvo de Sachem. 
It's part of your family 

674
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,800
responsibilities. 
But as your kids get older, I 

675
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:16,640
have two kids that are married, 
one kid in college and I have a 

676
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:18,560
16 year old in 10th grade at 
TABC. 

677
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,560
So the time at home is not as 
focused on them. 

678
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:25,040
So what I do this year, this 
year on my son's night sitter at

679
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:27,800
Yu, which I think is tremendous,
he asked me to learn with him. 

680
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:30,000
He loved learning. 
Get into that story, how we got 

681
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,680
each other to really enjoy the 
learning together. 

682
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:33,680
And he asked me at the beginning
of the year, he's like, ABBA, I 

683
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:35,640
want you to be my night sitter. 
He's a different morning sater. 

684
00:28:36,120 --> 00:28:37,560
And I wasn't sure that that was 
the right answer. 

685
00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:38,960
I'm like, maybe you should learn
our kids your own age. 

686
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:40,880
I don't know if that's the right
answer answer. 

687
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:43,400
I'd be Neuberger and I've never 
said though, I've never gotten 

688
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:46,960
this shot in 40 years. 
But if your son is asking to be 

689
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:48,880
the night sater and you can 
figure it out and get to why you

690
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:50,880
a couple nights a week and do it
over FaceTime the other couple 

691
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:54,120
nights a week and you'll be 
there 8080 to 92 or 90% of the 

692
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:57,280
time grab the opportunity. 
And to me that's tremendous. 

693
00:28:57,560 --> 00:28:59,480
So he's my night set. 
Also a regular night setter, 

694
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:01,440
Yakov Alpha Baum. 
You've been learning for many 

695
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:03,560
years consistently. 
So when you have the night 

696
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:06,280
setter sort of anchors you in 
your form of learning, which is 

697
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:09,120
very, very important. 
You alluded to the story about 

698
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:12,200
how you and your son got into 
Into Harusa together, so I think

699
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:14,040
you mentioned it to me before 
and it was a great story, so we 

700
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,000
could share it here as well. 
Oh, this is a great story. 

701
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:17,960
He's going to kill me anytime. 
He's going to kill me for saying

702
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:19,600
this on the podcast. 
But I got to mention it. 

703
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:21,320
I've said it many times in 
public venue. 

704
00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:22,600
So he's not embarrassed about it
anymore. 

705
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:25,840
He was a senior at TABC and not 
as into learning, to say the 

706
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:26,960
least. 
Not as into learning, but a 

707
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:30,120
really good kid, played on the 
hockey team, love sports. 

708
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:33,120
And he was coming up to be a 
senior and he said to me, I'll 

709
00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:35,240
be, you know, I love a car as 
I'm a senior. 

710
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:37,600
And I said, OK, that's great. 
I would love a lot of things. 

711
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:39,360
It's just not probably not going
to happen. 

712
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:44,320
But my lease of my car was 
coming up and I realized that I 

713
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:47,080
had an opportunity to bribe him.
Now, I grew up in a house where 

714
00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:48,280
my father would constantly bribe
us. 

715
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:50,800
My father was a big briber, but 
the way that he bribed me was 

716
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:53,440
baseball cards. 
Come to shul on Sunday morning, 

717
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:55,080
you get 2 packs of baseball 
cards. 

718
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:57,520
And to me that was like, all 
right, that's amazing. 

719
00:29:57,520 --> 00:29:59,600
If I'm going to give my son a 
town a pack of baseball cards, 

720
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,440
that ain't going to cut it. 
Even taking him to a game might 

721
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:05,400
or might not cut it considering 
how many games that these kids 

722
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:06,960
have the opportunity to go to. 
So I said a town. 

723
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:10,120
I'll make you a deal if you 
decide to learn with me. 

724
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:13,800
The entire misaka's time is 
tomorrow, an hour a week will 

725
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:17,520
commit to for the entire year. 
I will extend the lease of my 

726
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:20,560
car for a year and I will give 
it to you to drive to TBC drive 

727
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:22,160
to drive it and your own, 
whatever you want. 

728
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:24,400
It's your car. 
And he had to think about it and

729
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,240
he really thought about it hard 
because he's a man of his word 

730
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:28,960
and he wanted to be serious. 
And he said, ABBA, I want to do 

731
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:30,480
it. 
I extended lease in my car. 

732
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:32,720
We started learning and we 
learned the entire year. 

733
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:34,760
And Barack Hashem, we made a 
seam at the end of the year, 

734
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:36,800
Miss Sekhar's Highness. 
And at that seam he said, ABBA 

735
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,040
Kadaka Bakodesh, I don't want 
any friends at this CM. 

736
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:41,400
I just want family. 
He's very humble, doesn't want 

737
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:44,560
to show off what he's doing. 
And he said at the CM, he said, 

738
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:46,000
I started learning for the car. 
Who am I kidding? 

739
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:47,600
You promised me a car. 
I'm going to sit and learn with 

740
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:49,720
you. 
But halfway through, I don't 

741
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:52,640
know when it changed. 
I realized I just love learning 

742
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:55,440
with you and I want to learn 
with you more and more. 

743
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:58,760
And we continue to do that. 
And then the the following 

744
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,720
summer he went to NCSY Cola. 
I was able to be a Caruso with 

745
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:05,680
him during NCSY Cola and I went 
to Israel for the first couple 

746
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:10,600
of weeks and I was his Caruso 
and then I left. 

747
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:14,480
But then he was left without a 
Caruso during NCSY Cola because 

748
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:15,400
he was a junior. 
My drift. 

749
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:17,360
He didn't have someone to learn 
with specifically. 

750
00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:19,160
He's answer a couple Shyler's 
doing things in the base Madrid,

751
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:21,400
doing sports. 
I said to myself, I have two 

752
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:23,200
choices. 
I learned my son for two weeks 

753
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:25,400
and now it doesn't know Caruso 
for the next three weeks. 

754
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:28,760
Morning status, 9 to 12. 
That's about 2-3 in the morning.

755
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:32,200
So I went to bed at 8-9 o'clock.
I woke up at 1:00 in the 

756
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:34,280
morning. 
I learned with him from 2:00 to 

757
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:36,880
4:00 every morning for three 
weeks. 

758
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:38,960
And we finished the 8th parrot 
above Messiah. 

759
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:42,680
And that just gets him going. 
And to me and all of his 

760
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:44,360
friends, parents are coming on 
me say, Oh my God, you're like a

761
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:46,400
legend though. 
If you're a legend, you wake up 

762
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:47,600
in the middle of that. 
You're learning with a time. 

763
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:48,440
You're doing this, you're doing 
that. 

764
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:51,160
I'm not trying to my own horn. 
I'm just saying when the kids 

765
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:55,800
see you acting in a way that 
that gives such Hashivas to your

766
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:58,600
learning and learning with them,
they want to do more. 

767
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:01,480
And he's feels so comfortable 
with me, with the learning that 

768
00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:03,680
he wanted to be me, me to be his
night sitter this year. 

769
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:07,240
And I grabbed the opportunity. 
But it takes a lot of time and 

770
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,880
effort to get to that point. 
But don't be afraid to bribe 

771
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:12,480
your kids. 
That's that's a really great 

772
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:13,880
story. 
And you mentioned something, I 

773
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:16,040
don't know if this question 
really relates directly to the 

774
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:18,520
story, but it did remind me, you
know, you mentioned that even, 

775
00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:20,920
you know, senior year, the 
learning was not high priority 

776
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:22,880
for him. 
And this sort of helped take it 

777
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:25,160
up a notch And it was learning 
before and, and it, but I guess 

778
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:26,840
the question is right. 
We're talking about this 

779
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:29,600
conversation a lot about ebbs 
and flows, things that come and 

780
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:33,040
go. 
Have you thought about the 

781
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:35,840
experience of being patient for 
a child, allowing them to 

782
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:37,720
approach things when time is 
right, not getting too 

783
00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:40,360
disappointed or frustrated at 
various things that you may want

784
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:42,640
to see from them? 
You know, I'm now starting off 

785
00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:44,800
my journey as a parent and you 
know, some of the kids, I love 

786
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:46,040
the kids, they're amazing, 
they're wonderful. 

787
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:48,120
But you know, there's certain 
me, those that I, I certainly, 

788
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:51,120
I'm quite frustrated by and, 
and, and their challenges. 

789
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:53,520
And I also see the community, 
other kids at different ages 

790
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:55,400
doing different things. 
And it's a little bit nerve 

791
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:57,920
racking to be, frankly, to be 
honest, someone you could talk 

792
00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:00,600
to that point as well about 
allowing kids their time, 

793
00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:03,280
allowing them their ebbs and 
flows and sort of being loving 

794
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:06,160
and present along the way. 100%.
I know that you love your kids. 

795
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:07,400
I don't doubt that for a minute,
Yaakov. 

796
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:10,600
I think that setting an example,
this is the way that I was 

797
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:11,800
raised from. 
From the beginning of our 

798
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:15,240
conversation, my father never 
forced me to do anything, but he

799
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:17,120
was always present. 
The alternatives. 

800
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:19,440
So every Sunday morning, I'm 
gonna wake my kids up to go to 

801
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:20,800
Minion. 
I'll wake up my Tanya, my 10th 

802
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:22,360
grader to go to Minion. 
Will they go to Minion every 

803
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:25,360
Sunday? 
No, but I'm going to wake him up

804
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:26,840
because you know that he's going
to know that there's an 

805
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:30,200
opportunity and he will go a lot
and he will choose to do that. 

806
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:33,160
So I will always educate them on
what I think the right thing to 

807
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:34,720
do is. 
Do I think it's the right thing 

808
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:36,840
to be sitting in your room on 
your phone a little bit longer 

809
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:38,200
than I would like you to be? 
No. 

810
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:40,640
Am I going to force you? 
You have to have ebbs and flows.

811
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:44,560
You have to have boundaries. 
Very important filters, all very

812
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:48,280
important, but in terms of 
forcing, I was never someone 

813
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:50,720
that forced my kids to do 
anything, especially with 

814
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:53,120
learning, especially was trying 
to do a their vote this session.

815
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:55,560
The more you force, the more 
they go the opposite direction. 

816
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,240
And nowadays the distractions, 
the things that are 

817
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:02,040
inappropriate are too close and 
too easy the access for you to 

818
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:05,120
take that risk of turning them 
off even more just by you 

819
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:07,880
forcing them to do something 
from drill comments or drill is 

820
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:09,520
one of my favorite from drill 
comments. 

821
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:13,280
And he says that the father that
is shushing his kid in shul the 

822
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:17,280
whole time not to talk, get a 
kid that shushes and talks 

823
00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:20,639
consistently, as opposed to the 
father that just lets his kid 

824
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:22,560
deal with how he has to deal 
with as long as he's not 

825
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:27,000
disturbing davening too much, 
but understands that his house 

826
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:30,400
mother is in his sitter and he's
diving into a Cuttersburg with 

827
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,560
full Qivana. 
And if a kid wants to ring it to

828
00:34:32,639 --> 00:34:35,000
to read an English book, to be 
quiet, call a cavo. 

829
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:38,120
Don't force him to be like, look
in the sitter one page here up 

830
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,679
to Shema, up to this. 
That's not the way to do it. 

831
00:34:40,679 --> 00:34:42,880
I think that's an excellent way 
to model Chino. 

832
00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:46,760
Not forcing, but present 
thinking alternatives and giving

833
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:48,400
your opinion. 
And there are a lot of different

834
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:50,920
ways that I could talk about 
this over the years with my 

835
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:52,639
father was with us and my 
siblings. 

836
00:34:52,639 --> 00:34:56,560
Whether it's dress code, skirts,
pants, boys, girls, etcetera, 

837
00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:58,960
things of that nature. 
There's so many touchy topics. 

838
00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:00,840
Present what you think is 
correct. 

839
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:04,520
Present the alternatives, but 
don't force and model the way 

840
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:08,440
that you want them to follow. 
So I, I will follow up on one 

841
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:10,000
point. 
I'm sure it's not by far the, 

842
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:12,080
you know, the least 
controversial of them, but, but 

843
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:13,320
it is something that I, I 
actually been thinking I 

844
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:16,360
recently, I have, you know, 2 
girls and then two boys. 

845
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:19,800
So my, my, my older boy is 3 and
I was recently doing a hush 

846
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:21,040
bone. 
I was like, you know, it'll 

847
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:24,640
probably be around 3 or 4 years 
until he'll be in show with me 

848
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:27,200
on some level of consistency. 
Hopefully we got him four years,

849
00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:28,680
five years. 
And I was thinking about the 

850
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:30,200
fact that. 
So first of all, Davni is enough

851
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:33,080
for struggle as it is do with 
Kavana do properly and to stay 

852
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:36,040
awake and not be distracted by 
either learning or or phones or 

853
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:37,640
all these things that enough 
challenges there. 

854
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:40,000
And then he's also going to be 
there and you want to sort of 

855
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:42,520
educate him and be a role model.
And if you're only for the 

856
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:44,200
cutters, borrow who. 
So you touched on this point, 

857
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:46,760
but I wonder if you can give me 
some more advice and physic in 

858
00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:50,240
that regard about a dominating 
with kids around in a way that 

859
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:52,640
you're on a Voda, your kids kind
of putting it all together. 

860
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:54,360
Amazing. 
I'm a start with a story for my 

861
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:56,920
father and the stories, you can 
find it on you. 

862
00:35:56,960 --> 00:35:58,960
You can find it somewhere on the
Internet because someone sent it

863
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,200
to me. 
Someone told this story, but he 

864
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:04,360
was the principal of TABC. 
It was a family from Muncie that

865
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:07,400
was struggling and couldn't find
the yeshiva Muncie. 

866
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:09,440
I don't think he was kicked out.
I don't know what the story was.

867
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:13,200
The kid was a little bit off the
directly and they came to TABC 

868
00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:17,360
and the rub, the rub of the 
community and the rub who was 

869
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:21,280
trying to interview the possible
principals and leaders of 

870
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:24,520
schools and rabeim to see would 
this be a good fit for this 

871
00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:27,320
potential Talmud? 
And he walked into my father and

872
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:28,800
he said, I've one question for 
you. 

873
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:31,800
How do you get the kids to 
daven? 

874
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:34,920
What do you do here for davening
if the kid doesn't want to 

875
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:38,400
participate and the kid is 
struggling with Davini and my 

876
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:41,400
father said to him, why would a 
kid want a davin? 

877
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:44,120
A kid has everything he needs in
life. 

878
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:46,680
These kids are growing up with 
everything they need. 

879
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:48,120
Their parents have food on the 
table. 

880
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:51,400
Barack Hashem, the parents have 
jobs, they have clothing, they 

881
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:54,440
have vacations. 
Why would he want a davin is 

882
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:56,760
ready. 
Walked around the desk. 

883
00:36:57,120 --> 00:37:01,640
They gave my father a hug, 
emotional and he said this is 

884
00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:05,920
where I want my kid to be. 
This is the type of place that I

885
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:08,680
want my kid to be. 
I get emotional nowadays talk 

886
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:14,080
about my father. 
Sorry but I model the same thing

887
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:16,080
and you have to model the same 
type of response. 

888
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:18,200
Come from the perspective of the
kids. 

889
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:19,600
We understand why they don't 
want to dive in. 

890
00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:21,640
I get it, dive in. 
Talk with this bro who asked him

891
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:23,880
for your basic needs. 
Refer Anu Hashem. 

892
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:25,960
I'm healthy. 
I don't have any friends that 

893
00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:27,600
are sick. 
If you do love Aleno, then 

894
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:28,840
you'll understand it a little 
bit. 

895
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,480
My parents all have jobs or even
the ones that don't have jobs. 

896
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:33,840
Many kids don't realize that 
their parents don't have jobs. 

897
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:35,720
Barack Aleno doesn't apply to 
me. 

898
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:37,720
I'm talking about a semak David 
Mushiya. 

899
00:37:37,720 --> 00:37:39,360
What does that mean? 
It's hard. 

900
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:41,520
It's really, really hard to 
communicate. 

901
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:45,200
So the modeling and the 
understanding of that to be able

902
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:48,760
to teach them in a way that gets
them excited and says, OK, do it

903
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,200
step by step. 
I tell my kid, I tell my son all

904
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:53,840
the time before a hockey game. 
We have a good schmatestre today

905
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:56,720
and Smackoleno ask our Cutters 
Baraku to play well. 

906
00:37:57,480 --> 00:38:00,480
And I said, no, I'm I'm not 
talking to you about the fact 

907
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:02,440
that I think it's important to 
dive into our channel about a 

908
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:05,000
hockey game. 
But I want to train his mind 

909
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:08,360
that you ask our Cutters Baraku 
for what's important to you and 

910
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:10,320
if that's important to him in 
his life, which it is. 

911
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:13,680
Championship game is this 
upcoming Sunday diving for it. 

912
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:16,560
It just, it shows the muscle 
memory around what diving is 

913
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:18,560
about to try and connect them to
that. 

914
00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:21,200
I do 1 bracha. 
I tell the kids sometimes all 

915
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:22,840
the time. 
I teach you Shiva, Noah Mishmar.

916
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:25,040
I teach 8th grade Mishmar 
Thursday nights, which I'm going

917
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:27,000
to right after this and I love 
doing it. 

918
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:29,720
And I would tell them, focus on 
one bracha. 

919
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,680
Say it like a Lambdin. 
Pretend that you're 

920
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:35,640
understanding what you're doing 
in terms of what you're acting 

921
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:38,280
to focus on one area. 
One small thing. 

922
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:40,040
That's something that my father 
always said as well. 

923
00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:42,720
Focus on one mitzvah, one 
improvement, and you'll get 

924
00:38:42,720 --> 00:38:45,280
there year over year. 
So thank you for sharing those 

925
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:48,560
memories and specialty here. 
You reflect on, you know, the 

926
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:50,920
deep impact of your father, you 
know, but it does lead to an 

927
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:54,960
interesting question, which is, 
you know, that empathy and that 

928
00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:57,520
understanding. 
So I struggle with a lot of 

929
00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:58,840
things in my role. 
So I have a lot of things that I

930
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:00,720
could be doing a lot better or 
should be doing a lot better. 

931
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:03,840
So do I. 
And so the question becomes that

932
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:07,280
when you when you drive 
mechanic, so do you go fall in 

933
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:12,120
on sharing that or you trying to
express a certain strength and 

934
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:14,520
the level of accomplishment that
maybe you don't feel as 

935
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:16,440
comfortable? 
How do you sort of balance your 

936
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:20,840
own shortcomings and struggles 
and and allow that to to empower

937
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:23,240
yourself as a Mahane and not 
have it like drag you down? 

938
00:39:24,240 --> 00:39:25,360
I think you got to be honest 
with people. 

939
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:27,120
I think you have to sell them. 
We all struggle. 

940
00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:29,520
We all struggle with life. 
We all struggle with, you know, 

941
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:32,120
give them examples of when you 
were in their shoes and you 

942
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:34,960
couldn't get up for Minion or 
even nowadays you're struggling.

943
00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:36,400
This year. 
I'm saying kaddish. 

944
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:40,440
And I can tell you it's been a 
big muster for myself at work 

945
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:44,040
because as an example, I'm 
modeling my miniature schedule. 

946
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:46,760
I block out one to 2:30 now 
every day because I don't know 

947
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:48,960
if I'm going to be able to get 
to 145 and I'm going to a little

948
00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:50,040
bit later. 
I'm going to get it to two 

949
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:52,920
o'clock 20 to 4:00. 
There's no myths of it. 

950
00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:56,320
I say Kaddish, the mitzvah to 
dive in Mitzibo, there's no 

951
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:59,400
mitzvah to say Kaddish and 
everyone takes the Kaddish year 

952
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:02,680
to the NTH degree, which I 
understand covered for the Mace,

953
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:04,120
covered for the father and 
mother. 

954
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:06,200
I fully appreciate and I could 
tie into that. 

955
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:09,560
But it's giving me physics to 
say, OK, in the past, if I had a

956
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:12,560
meeting and I missed minion, if 
I and I missed the mint car and 

957
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:14,840
I had to dive into the 
conference room, I talked to my 

958
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:16,440
kids about that. 
I talked to the kids about that 

959
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:18,600
that I teach. 
I dumped in a conference room 

960
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:20,560
and I to me, I was like, OK with
it. 

961
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:22,000
I was like, listen, I couldn't 
make it today. 

962
00:40:22,240 --> 00:40:24,520
That's OK. 
But now that I'm giving myself 

963
00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:26,560
my own physical round bond, then
I'm saying college, I'm not 

964
00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:29,760
going to miss a minion. 
Why not carry that through? 

965
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:33,040
And I want to carry that 
attitude forward as I continue 

966
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:34,640
to do that. 
I just said this to to my Caruso

967
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:36,280
last night. 
I got home late last night from 

968
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:38,920
a work thing from, from from a 
work event I learned with Yak 

969
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:40,640
Alphenbaum. 
We we learned every night 

970
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:42,960
proudly, you know, proudly to 
say we have missed the night 

971
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:44,720
since May 1st, 2020. 
That's a different story. 

972
00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:47,200
But I said, I got to go to 11:00
modern. 

973
00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:48,320
That's the latest Marvin 
Teaneck. 

974
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:50,360
And I said to Miak, I'm so 
tired. 

975
00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:52,640
So I was not saying cottage In 
my olden days. 

976
00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:54,800
I probably was just diving at 
home, fully admit that. 

977
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:57,080
But I got to get to I got to, I 
got to say the cottage. 

978
00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:59,680
And I said, yak, this is the 
kizuk that I'm giving myself. 

979
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,480
And you're going to remind me 
about this next year at this 

980
00:41:02,480 --> 00:41:03,920
time when I'm not saying 
cottage. 

981
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:07,000
And I come up with 10:45, I'm 
going to that 11:00 Meyer. 

982
00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:08,960
So talk to you about your kids. 
Be vulnerable. 

983
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:10,600
It's OK. 
We all have to grow. 

984
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:15,680
OK, so you spoke about your love
of Torah learning, your love of 

985
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:18,080
public speaking. 
So talk about how you found ways

986
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:20,280
to bring those together. 
And you know, you mentioned the 

987
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:22,080
early days, the Josh shows, but 
now you're doing a lot of 

988
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:23,600
teaching. 
You just alluded to the Mish 

989
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:26,440
Meyer, which is coming up. 
But so how do you get sort of 

990
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:28,680
started to get more involved in 
teaching and, and how do you 

991
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:31,360
find the time and the energy to 
to invest in that in addition to

992
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:33,600
continuing to be a busy, 
especially now they're busy 

993
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:35,960
season, but all year round. 
Great question. 

994
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:38,840
I love teaching and I teach a 
home share Thursday night, a 

995
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:41,640
resume for Beth Abraham that 
started three years ago. 

996
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:43,400
Morty Rothberg, give him a lot 
of credit. 

997
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:46,040
I gave a share in between Nicola
Meyer on Rosh Hashanah once and 

998
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:48,040
he's like, wow, I really enjoyed
this year. 

999
00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:50,800
You want to give a home share on
Thursday nights? 

1000
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,840
And I think that's a little bit 
of a lost art be Ian Hommesh. 

1001
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:56,320
People talk about the Ian 
Gamara, they talk about 

1002
00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:57,840
different topics, they talk 
about different things. 

1003
00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:00,320
And every week we pick one 
pasta, one idea. 

1004
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:01,920
It's all on Why You Tour. 
I started putting them on Why 

1005
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:05,120
You Tour a couple years ago, and
it's Thursday night over Zoom. 

1006
00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:09,240
We get 10 to 15 people on a live
basis and then 100 to 150 people

1007
00:42:09,240 --> 00:42:11,880
are listening on Why You Torah, 
which is really, really nice. 

1008
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:14,160
Sometimes more, sometimes a few 
less, whatever the week is. 

1009
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:19,000
But it gives me the kiosk to 
continue what I'm doing at work.

1010
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:22,880
The fact that I have more time 
and as you become more senior, 

1011
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:24,480
I'm not working till 2:00 in the
morning. 

1012
00:42:24,720 --> 00:42:27,120
I have a lot of different 
pressures at work partner than 

1013
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:29,960
my staff do and they understand 
that, but it also gives me a 

1014
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:32,320
little bit more flexibility when
needed. 

1015
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:34,560
So it's a lot of preparation. 
Giving shoe room is a lot of 

1016
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:37,000
preparation. 
I like to step in Couple weeks 

1017
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:39,800
ago I was I was at a shul 
because of rub went on vacation 

1018
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:41,960
for a week out of bar mitzvah. 
I like to step in and give 

1019
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:44,800
Joshua's as well whenever rub on
them our way always volunteer my

1020
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:47,000
services and but our question 
people enjoy it. 

1021
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:48,560
They like listening for some 
reason. 

1022
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:51,120
They like to get through it and 
and the home machine really took

1023
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:53,760
off and then people ask me to 
give up the shoe room and things

1024
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:57,200
for someone over Hanukkah things
for a perm thing, etcetera, 

1025
00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:59,800
etcetera, which gives me that 
opportunity, but it's putting in

1026
00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:02,480
the time at night. 
The nights are busy. 

1027
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:04,400
The nights have to be busy late 
at night. 

1028
00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:06,360
There's a lot of learning that 
goes on to prepare. 

1029
00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:08,080
Every she rested takes the time 
to prepare. 

1030
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:10,840
But I say that if you have the 
ability, how could there's bro 

1031
00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:14,040
who finds ways to put ideas in 
your head during the week? 

1032
00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:17,040
And it keeps me constantly 
focused on the parsha during the

1033
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:18,720
week. 
And also, I have two dailies, I 

1034
00:43:18,720 --> 00:43:20,480
have two daily chats that people
ask me to start. 

1035
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:22,720
After I did the parsha show on 
Thursday night, someone came 

1036
00:43:22,720 --> 00:43:23,600
over to me. 
I said dog, what? 

1037
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:25,600
I do a daily homage, a daily in 
Yana Dioma. 

1038
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:29,440
I said great WhatsApp chat. 
We've got 220 people on it under

1039
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:31,840
3 minutes. 
And I will always leave it under

1040
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:34,680
3 minutes and I'll record it 
three times sometimes to get it 

1041
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:37,240
to 2:59. 
But to get a key aspect from the

1042
00:43:37,240 --> 00:43:39,120
parsha and Yana Dioma, we're 
doing pays off. 

1043
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:41,960
We're doing Pura and Hanukkah, 
etcetera because that's 

1044
00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:44,600
something that people could 
digest and it's easy, but it 

1045
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:46,800
keeps me focused on the learning
throughout the day and thinking,

1046
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:48,080
oh, what am I going to speak 
about tomorrow? 

1047
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:50,880
Am I going to pick up an idea? 
And someone said to me, we'd 

1048
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:52,800
love for you to start some type 
of be tough on chat. 

1049
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:55,600
I said OK, but before I 
committed to that, do I have the

1050
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:58,200
time to do it? 
We started to be talk on chat. 

1051
00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:03,080
There was someone's grandson 
that had cancer, Glenn Pfeiffer,

1052
00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:05,720
our our own Benagliatha, and 
that's someone that we learned 

1053
00:44:05,720 --> 00:44:07,840
for every single day. 
And I said, we're going to 

1054
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:11,200
dedicate this Bitakon chat where
we started Bitakon of the base 

1055
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:12,920
Alevi. 
I'm going to be talking of the 

1056
00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:16,000
base Alevi, the babe Salevi. 
And we finished the entire safer

1057
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:19,240
going through under 3 minutes a 
day, not just reading, read a 

1058
00:44:19,240 --> 00:44:20,640
little bit, you say a little bit
off the Duff. 

1059
00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:22,240
And now we're doing the 
Kazonish. 

1060
00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:26,280
And it just when you have that 
type of Kiyas preparing late at 

1061
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:28,800
night, it gives you the energy 
to keep going. 

1062
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:32,040
And I'm a big believer in this. 
The more that you learn, I find 

1063
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:35,920
that I cut this bar who helps 
you be successful at work and it

1064
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:38,960
goes hand in hand. 
So I don't have to spend as many

1065
00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:40,880
hours. 
But Barack Hashem, things are 

1066
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:43,320
working out, I think. 
And I give a lot of credit to 

1067
00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:45,600
that because you spend the time 
and effort your whole life. 

1068
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:48,200
Like I said, it's a foundation. 
I would not be able to do this 

1069
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:51,600
today if I wasn't learning those
Carusos when I was 2526 years 

1070
00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:53,960
old. 
So you describe the the. 

1071
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:57,160
Teaching really picking up over 
the last three years or so, and 

1072
00:44:57,160 --> 00:44:58,760
you describe the theists that it
gives you. 

1073
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:02,360
Do you regret not doing more 
teaching earlier or now? 

1074
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:04,640
It's the right stage in your 
life and career to really throw 

1075
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:06,520
yourself into it. 
I can't forget. 

1076
00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:08,040
I never had the opportunity. 
No one asked me. 

1077
00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:11,760
So do I regret pushing it more? 
Maybe yes, maybe no. 

1078
00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:14,200
But I don't know if I would have
had the time to dedicate because

1079
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:17,120
as you're continuing, like I 
said, I made partner 2008. 

1080
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:20,320
So I was 3132 years old. 
Continuing to build that brand 

1081
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:23,680
of your business, to continue to
build, to build your network. 

1082
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:26,280
I don't regret it. 
I think everything comes at the 

1083
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:28,080
right time because there's both 
who wants you to be where you 

1084
00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:29,680
are. 
You also have to have to have 

1085
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:31,840
opportunities for speaking 
opportunities. 

1086
00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:34,560
But throughout all the years, I 
was always giving dusters in 

1087
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:36,240
shoes. 
I was always giving this year on

1088
00:45:36,240 --> 00:45:38,640
shuest night. 
I gave a shit this past fewest 

1089
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:39,720
night. 
Interesting share on can you 

1090
00:45:39,720 --> 00:45:42,800
down from a cell phone different
type of sheer harsh kafa halakha

1091
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:45,120
weaving it in and people sort of
like that as well. 

1092
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:46,560
So I've always been giving 
enough. 

1093
00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:50,960
I felt like I taught enough, but
not consistently to keep me to 

1094
00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:52,880
keep me happy, so to speak in 
that area. 

1095
00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:56,360
And as I do more and more, it 
like feeds the beast. 

1096
00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:58,120
You really just want to continue
that aspect of it. 

1097
00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:00,800
That's very beautiful. 
So I want to transition to the 

1098
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:02,680
last. 
Part of our conversation, you 

1099
00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:05,240
are involved in addition to 
everything we described until 

1100
00:46:05,240 --> 00:46:08,400
now, and it's a lot in a lot of 
different nonprofit initiatives.

1101
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:11,120
So tell us a little bit about 
how that started, what some of 

1102
00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:13,720
the big projects you've sort of 
built and I'm most proud of and 

1103
00:46:13,720 --> 00:46:15,360
most happy about. 
Sure. 

1104
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:16,680
I've always been involved in, 
not for. 

1105
00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:18,920
Profits, I think it's important.
I think that when my when my 

1106
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:21,800
daughter Leora started going to 
Shiva Naam and I got very 

1107
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:23,960
involved with the board right 
away, I felt like it was 

1108
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:26,080
important to give back. 
And when it's important to give 

1109
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:28,040
back, you get involved. 
And that's something that my 

1110
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:31,280
family, my, my, my, my mother, 
my father, obviously my father, 

1111
00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:33,080
but my mother was always 
involved in organizations as 

1112
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:36,160
well, our schools, our schools, 
PTA, etcetera. 

1113
00:46:36,440 --> 00:46:38,080
And that's something that's an 
Achais I viewed as a 

1114
00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:40,320
responsibility. 
And once I started getting 

1115
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:42,440
involved, I realized, oh, I like
this aspect also. 

1116
00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:45,360
It fits a lot of the personality
in terms of what I'm looking for

1117
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:48,480
in terms of helping other 
people, helping organizations, 

1118
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:51,160
helping them grow. 
Eventually I became treasurer of

1119
00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:53,320
a Shiva Noah, my transition to 
become the president. 

1120
00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:57,600
I got involved with a Maya note,
got involved with TABC recently.

1121
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:01,760
Well, I wouldn't say recently 
past 7-8 years and Beth Abraham 

1122
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:05,160
and then I got into fundraising 
and I realized that I honed that

1123
00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:09,200
skill in terms of being able to 
help organizations fundraise as 

1124
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:10,720
well. 
And I'm proud to say that 

1125
00:47:10,720 --> 00:47:12,240
fundraise for a number of 
different institutions. 

1126
00:47:12,240 --> 00:47:14,920
Fundraise for the Ishiba Nolan 
building with Abraham building 

1127
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:17,520
led the campaign for the TNBC 
building right now, which we 

1128
00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:20,160
just named and honor my father 
and never my father and honor my

1129
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:22,480
father, which is really very 
emotional as well. 

1130
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:26,240
I did the Myno campaign. 
I started a school, helped start

1131
00:47:26,240 --> 00:47:28,400
a school called Yeshiba Shal 
Shalat for kids with language 

1132
00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:31,160
based learning disabilities. 
I don't have any kids that 

1133
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:33,720
needed that that needed it. 
Just got approached and said he 

1134
00:47:33,720 --> 00:47:36,160
seemed like a guy that could get
things done from a community 

1135
00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:38,240
perspective. 
Did a significant amount of 

1136
00:47:38,240 --> 00:47:39,680
fundraising, got that school off
the ground. 

1137
00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:43,160
That was in 2022-2023. 
That school now has about 60 

1138
00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:44,760
kids graduating it's birth, 8th 
grade. 

1139
00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:47,280
Not involved with it anymore. 
You have to transition over to 

1140
00:47:47,280 --> 00:47:49,680
other people. 
I just started an organization 

1141
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:53,280
with Rebecca Liassen called 
KFAR, which is an after school 

1142
00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:57,040
program for kids that are in 
public school right now for 

1143
00:47:57,120 --> 00:48:00,520
whether it's learning issues, 
whether it's behavioral issues, 

1144
00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:03,280
anything but financial issues, 
because any financial issue, you

1145
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:05,480
got to go to your day school. 
That's why there's a scholarship

1146
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:06,800
program. 
That's what we do, the 

1147
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:09,080
fundraising. 
And this is our first year doing

1148
00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:11,680
the during during the program. 
And we just had our first sitter

1149
00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:14,440
play about a month ago. 
And Robbie Neuberger presented 

1150
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:15,680
as a Durham to each one of these
kids. 

1151
00:48:15,680 --> 00:48:17,960
And this is one of my most proud
things. 

1152
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:19,280
I've been to a lot of school 
events. 

1153
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:21,600
I've been to a lot of 
organizations seeing 

1154
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:25,720
grandparents with their child 
who's in 4th grade get a sitter 

1155
00:48:25,720 --> 00:48:29,040
for the first time, tears 
streaming down their eyes saying

1156
00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:31,000
I never thought this would 
happen because my kids in public

1157
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:32,600
school. 
And if he got a sitter, I 

1158
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:35,880
figured I'd buy him a sitter. 
To have a full, full ceremony, 

1159
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:40,080
music, balloons, presentation, 
the whole 9 yards was something 

1160
00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:42,120
that was very, very emotional. 
So that's a great organization 

1161
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:43,600
as well. 
And I think it's a passion of 

1162
00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:45,640
mine to get involved. 
A lot of people don't like 

1163
00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:47,720
fundraising. 
I always get inspired by it. 

1164
00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:50,040
I get inspired by the small 
gifts more than the big gifts, 

1165
00:48:50,040 --> 00:48:52,120
honestly. 
But I realize that someone has 

1166
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:55,880
to be the conduit to help match 
up potential donors who have 

1167
00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:58,480
wealth with people who want to 
build organizations. 

1168
00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:00,680
Because if you don't have money,
your organization's going 

1169
00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:02,120
nowhere. 
So you have to develop those 

1170
00:49:02,120 --> 00:49:03,880
relationships, which I think is 
important. 

1171
00:49:04,120 --> 00:49:07,120
You have to be honest about it. 
You have to be really, you have 

1172
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:09,320
to be unique and you got to be 
able to talk through it and 

1173
00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:10,760
develop relationships to help 
that happen. 

1174
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:11,840
And I'm not afraid of that 
either. 

1175
00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:14,200
So I mean you sort of touch this
towards the end. 

1176
00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:17,080
But you know, a lot of people 
you think of fundraising as like

1177
00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:19,240
you have sort of your network 
and you're going to try to 

1178
00:49:19,240 --> 00:49:21,520
maximize your network for your 
cause. 

1179
00:49:21,520 --> 00:49:23,720
Well, you have like a number of 
causes and you're trying to 

1180
00:49:23,720 --> 00:49:25,680
fundraise for all of them. 
Like how does that work? 

1181
00:49:25,680 --> 00:49:27,440
Are you approaching the same 
people again and again or 

1182
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:28,600
different people for different 
causes? 

1183
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:30,640
How do you manage that? 
Yes, I know. 

1184
00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:31,840
I mean, I think some people are 
scared. 

1185
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:33,600
Like, if they see me, they they 
probably run away. 

1186
00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:35,280
They're like, oh, those coming 
out for money. 

1187
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:39,240
But most of the donors that I 
deal with say Kolakov, vote, you

1188
00:49:39,240 --> 00:49:40,560
say, Dove. 
I don't know how you find the 

1189
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:42,240
time to fundraise all these 
organizations. 

1190
00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:46,240
You do have to find the right 
match and not every single 

1191
00:49:46,240 --> 00:49:48,440
organization is going to match 
with every single donor. 

1192
00:49:48,720 --> 00:49:51,840
And that's where the leg work 
comes in and honing your skills 

1193
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:56,160
around relationship management, 
around being really authentic. 

1194
00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:57,720
I'm not just going to show up. 
You don't just knock on 

1195
00:49:57,720 --> 00:50:00,320
someone's door and say, hey, you
give me $100,000, you give me 

1196
00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:02,160
$1,000,000, you give me 
$500,000. 

1197
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:03,840
That's not the way it works. 
You have to introduce them to 

1198
00:50:03,840 --> 00:50:05,400
the organization. 
You have to see or do something 

1199
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:07,840
that they're part of. 
So parents, let's say parents of

1200
00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:09,600
a school, that's the first place
you start. 

1201
00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:12,000
Grandparents of a school, that's
the first place you start. 

1202
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,240
Members of a shul, that's the 
first place you start. 

1203
00:50:14,240 --> 00:50:16,760
You start a, a school with kids 
with language based learning 

1204
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:18,800
disabilities. 
You go to people that have gone 

1205
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:21,400
through that issue because they 
understand it the most. 

1206
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:24,120
And then you expand. 
So I'm constantly expanding that

1207
00:50:24,120 --> 00:50:26,320
network, so to speak, to make 
sure that you're speaking to 

1208
00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:28,200
different people. 
But of course, there are the 

1209
00:50:28,200 --> 00:50:30,960
people that you know that you 
that you could rely on helping 

1210
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:33,080
individuals. 
People call me to help them with

1211
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:35,080
a variety of different things 
that they're struggling with. 

1212
00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:37,560
Knowing who's going to be able 
to line up what is very 

1213
00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:39,120
important. 
But having that real 

1214
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:41,920
relationship, it's not just 
about fundraising, but a true 

1215
00:50:41,920 --> 00:50:44,360
relationship that you're 
building with the Kahila, with 

1216
00:50:44,360 --> 00:50:46,920
the community, and they know 
that they're not doing it for 

1217
00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:48,120
you. 
I'm not asking for myself. 

1218
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:51,160
I'm asking for an organization 
that you feel passionate about. 

1219
00:50:51,600 --> 00:50:54,360
If you're not passionate about 
what you're doing, they're going

1220
00:50:54,360 --> 00:50:56,280
to look right through you and 
they're going to say no. 

1221
00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:59,560
But if they feel the passion and
they feel that you really want 

1222
00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:03,040
to support this because of the 
case for support, you hire 

1223
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:05,600
professionals sometimes to help 
you guide with the materials 

1224
00:51:05,840 --> 00:51:08,360
showing why it's the right 
organization for this family, 

1225
00:51:08,520 --> 00:51:10,560
what you need, what the goals 
are, etcetera. 

1226
00:51:10,960 --> 00:51:13,480
It really is something that's 
important and needed and is 

1227
00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:14,680
recognized throughout the 
community. 

1228
00:51:15,560 --> 00:51:17,840
And you don't mind me? 
Asking, you know, is this 

1229
00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:21,000
something you do completely 
volunteer base because I'm, I'm 

1230
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:23,360
guessing that, you know, 
fundraisers are there are 

1231
00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:26,720
professional fundraisers and, 
and there is, you know, if 

1232
00:51:26,720 --> 00:51:28,000
there's a need for that in the 
community as well. 

1233
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:30,640
But I'm assuming that if you're 
coming completely with SCHMA, 

1234
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:33,880
you know, just because of your 
passion, then it's a lot easier 

1235
00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:36,360
for you, a lot harder people to 
say no, a lot harder people to 

1236
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:38,440
be, you know, nasty versus 
someone who, you know, they're 

1237
00:51:38,440 --> 00:51:40,040
raising the funds and the end of
the day, they need to hit a 

1238
00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:41,640
certain quota for their monthly 
year. 

1239
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:44,000
I'm 100% free. 
I probably pay you. 

1240
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:46,840
Know pay donate so I'm actually 
paying two fundraise. 

1241
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:50,000
I'm 100% free if you want to 
hire me to speak at A at an 

1242
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:53,960
organization, I call myself a 
non rabbi, Rabbi 100% free there

1243
00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:55,720
pay also from a membership 
perspective. 

1244
00:51:55,840 --> 00:51:58,160
So I'll be net out as opposed to
that. 

1245
00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:00,600
But I think it's important to 
develop relationships with 

1246
00:52:00,600 --> 00:52:03,720
professional fundraisers, which 
I have a lot of relationship 

1247
00:52:03,720 --> 00:52:06,560
with professional fundraisers, 
but also have relationships with

1248
00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:10,120
organizations that help you 
manage the fundraising process. 

1249
00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:13,040
They don't do the fundraising, 
but they help you manage it. 

1250
00:52:13,040 --> 00:52:15,320
And I learned a lot over the 
years by going to seminars, 

1251
00:52:15,640 --> 00:52:17,680
honing my skill and working on 
it. 

1252
00:52:17,960 --> 00:52:20,720
But a lot of lay leaders don't 
appreciate is that when you put 

1253
00:52:20,720 --> 00:52:23,760
in the time of doing something, 
you can't just check a box and 

1254
00:52:23,760 --> 00:52:25,000
say, well, I'm not getting paid 
for it. 

1255
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:27,280
So I won't put my whole heart 
into it. 

1256
00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:29,600
I can't put all as as big of an 
effort into it. 

1257
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:31,520
But you know, the return's just 
not there. 

1258
00:52:31,720 --> 00:52:33,800
You still have to put everything
into it just as you would your 

1259
00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:36,000
professional life, your 
professional job, your family. 

1260
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:38,720
How do you learn to get better 
at something is by practicing 

1261
00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:42,280
understanding it and going out 
and doing it over and over and 

1262
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:44,200
over again. 
So no, I don't get paid for it, 

1263
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:46,960
never will get paid for it. 
But I think it's important that 

1264
00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:50,440
lay leaders appreciate that the 
effort that they put in has to 

1265
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:53,440
be on par with what they're 
giving their professional life. 

1266
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:55,520
And not everyone has the time, 
and that's OK. 

1267
00:52:55,520 --> 00:53:00,040
Also, not everyone has the time,
but everyone has the time to do 

1268
00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:04,280
something given where they sit 
within their ecosystem of life. 

1269
00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:06,960
Amazing. 
It's very beautiful and very 

1270
00:53:06,960 --> 00:53:08,360
inspiring. 
To hear and it's really great 

1271
00:53:08,440 --> 00:53:10,520
we're we're running a little on 
time here, but I do want to ask 

1272
00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:12,080
you, you had some, you reached 
out to me with some very 

1273
00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:13,920
interesting follow up. 
You know, this last part of the 

1274
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:17,440
conversation very much connects 
to last week's episode with Alan

1275
00:53:17,440 --> 00:53:20,280
Pfeiffer and Hillel Scheinfeld, 
both guys who are involved in 

1276
00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:22,440
our profits and fundraising. 
And so, you know, there's a lot 

1277
00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:24,280
of talk about there a lot to 
follow up, but specifically you 

1278
00:53:24,280 --> 00:53:29,440
were talking about people who 
DACA itself is question is not 

1279
00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:32,000
taken for granted even on 
smaller scales is something they

1280
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:34,000
struggle with. 
So what have you seen with sort 

1281
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:36,480
of younger people or people who 
aren't making as much money and 

1282
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:38,680
how they struggle with SUKA and 
what your advice is to them? 

1283
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:40,200
Yeah, it's great. 
I mean, I love hello. 

1284
00:53:40,200 --> 00:53:42,280
I love Alan, I thought. 
That was a great episode. 

1285
00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:44,280
I love all your episodes. 
Give you another plug. 

1286
00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:48,360
But I think that as people of 
the Hammon AM, the people that 

1287
00:53:48,360 --> 00:53:50,960
struggle a little bit or the 
people that struggle a lot, 

1288
00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:52,640
there's a big disconnect. 
They can't relate. 

1289
00:53:52,920 --> 00:53:54,600
They can't relate to the guy 
that's making that type of 

1290
00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:57,240
money, that's giving 6 figured 
stuck allocations to different 

1291
00:53:57,240 --> 00:53:59,680
organizations. 
And they do struggle. 

1292
00:53:59,680 --> 00:54:03,200
And I'm talking about Yashar 
people, Ehrlich Haidian that 

1293
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:06,320
struggle with how to allocate 
their money and do they take 

1294
00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:09,440
advantage of Kulas, quote UN 
quote, where they're paying 

1295
00:54:09,440 --> 00:54:11,880
tuition, but they want to 
allocate the amount of the mute 

1296
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:14,240
Khodesh, the mute Khoul. 
How do I do that? 

1297
00:54:14,240 --> 00:54:15,680
What type of calculation do I 
make? 

1298
00:54:15,680 --> 00:54:17,320
What type of expenses do I write
off? 

1299
00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:20,400
And these should be consulted 
with your rough 100%. 

1300
00:54:20,440 --> 00:54:23,040
I don't want to, I don't want to
mitigate it, but they should be 

1301
00:54:23,040 --> 00:54:25,240
shilers that should be consulted
with your rough because every 

1302
00:54:25,240 --> 00:54:28,600
single situation is different 
depending on there's so many 

1303
00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:31,040
different needs, special needs, 
cost of fortune, as we brought 

1304
00:54:31,040 --> 00:54:33,240
up, those people are going to 
struggle a little bit more. 

1305
00:54:33,720 --> 00:54:35,880
But then there are people that 
are just not intentionally 

1306
00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:39,160
cutting corners and not giving 
their mice Sir, in their hearts,

1307
00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:40,520
they don't believe that they 
could afford it. 

1308
00:54:40,960 --> 00:54:42,480
And I think they need physic as 
well. 

1309
00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:45,640
They need physic to understand 
that even if I'm making $50,000 

1310
00:54:45,640 --> 00:54:49,400
a year and I could barely put 
food on the table, if I give $5 

1311
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:50,960
to Stocker, that's my 
allocation, whatever your 

1312
00:54:50,960 --> 00:54:52,680
allocation is. 
And if you want to talk about a 

1313
00:54:52,680 --> 00:54:55,680
mice, Sir, perspective a 10% how
you allocate that, But they need

1314
00:54:55,680 --> 00:54:59,320
physics to understand, make it 
part of your billing system. 

1315
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:02,560
Make it a bill just like your 
electric bill and your gas bill 

1316
00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:05,960
and your tuition bill to 
allocate that even on a smaller 

1317
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:08,480
amount. 
Some of the most inspiring notes

1318
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:11,080
that have gotten over the years.
When I'm running campaigns 

1319
00:55:11,240 --> 00:55:13,840
though, I'd like to contribute 
360 dollars. 

1320
00:55:13,840 --> 00:55:16,920
Can I pay it over three years? 
That's amazing. 

1321
00:55:17,640 --> 00:55:19,920
That's amazing. 
That's someone who's Yashar that

1322
00:55:19,920 --> 00:55:22,840
wants to contribute and of 
course Cole Hakavod. 

1323
00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:25,800
But I don't think, I think that 
when we talk about the stock 

1324
00:55:26,360 --> 00:55:29,480
decisions, how to allocate, 
these are all important 

1325
00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:31,600
conversations amongst the 
wealthy. 

1326
00:55:31,600 --> 00:55:34,200
Of course, people that are 
blessed from our cutters, Bark 

1327
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:36,320
who because like we said and 
like Alan said over and over 

1328
00:55:36,320 --> 00:55:38,600
again and like Halo said over 
and over again, because there's 

1329
00:55:38,600 --> 00:55:40,480
Bark who's giving you the money,
it's not yours. 

1330
00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:44,920
However, when push comes to 
shove, we all have 8 Saharas and

1331
00:55:44,920 --> 00:55:47,720
we all have issues. 
And I think that is an area that

1332
00:55:47,720 --> 00:55:50,720
needs Khizuk, that people need 
to be trained in a much smaller 

1333
00:55:50,720 --> 00:55:52,400
crowd. 
I'm not sure if a podcast is 

1334
00:55:52,400 --> 00:55:54,040
going to do it for them. 
Maybe yes, maybe not. 

1335
00:55:54,320 --> 00:55:56,680
I'm not sure if someone's going 
to be have the guts to come on a

1336
00:55:56,680 --> 00:55:58,760
podcast. 
I would say Cola Cavol, let 

1337
00:55:58,760 --> 00:56:00,760
someone come out and talk to you
about their struggles. 

1338
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:03,320
I think it'd be tremendous 
because it gives them the physic

1339
00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:06,360
to say, wow, I'm not the only 
one that's struggling with this.

1340
00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:08,320
There are a lot of people that 
are struggling with this and 

1341
00:56:08,320 --> 00:56:11,200
there's a lot of avenues and 
ways that can help me deal with 

1342
00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:14,480
it to help me overcome to admit 
Hashem one day, become a little 

1343
00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:16,200
bit more successful. 
Amazing. 

1344
00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:18,880
This has been a really really. 
Enjoyable conversation and let's

1345
00:56:18,880 --> 00:56:22,440
just run through our rapid fire 
here. 3 short questions, 3 short

1346
00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:24,160
answers. 
We go here coming out Eric 

1347
00:56:24,160 --> 00:56:26,760
Tescherl and we still have 
winter time for a couple more 

1348
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:28,040
weeks. 
We still have long Friday 

1349
00:56:28,040 --> 00:56:29,520
nights. 
So what do you like to do with 

1350
00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:32,080
that? 
Time, Family time? 

1351
00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:33,040
You. 
Know it depends how many people 

1352
00:56:33,040 --> 00:56:36,800
we are over also love to learn. 
Obviously I quoted before a drop

1353
00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:39,040
H Tommy is a big is a is a big 
fancy one. 

1354
00:56:39,040 --> 00:56:41,440
I know sometimes you like to 
like rapid fire in terms of 

1355
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:43,920
giving them give you a little 
preview what this farm are, but 

1356
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:46,840
a great new one that just came 
out the English version of the 

1357
00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:48,840
Mesha Hochma by Rabbi Emmanuel 
Bernstein. 

1358
00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:51,480
I'll give him a plug because he 
brings the Mesha Hochma. 

1359
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:54,280
It's hard to read and I love it.
I love the Mesha Hochma for a 

1360
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:57,080
lot of reasons, but he brings it
down to people picking out a 

1361
00:56:57,080 --> 00:56:59,920
couple of different essays and 
points on a weekly basis in the 

1362
00:56:59,920 --> 00:57:01,800
parsha and I highly recommend 
that one. 

1363
00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:04,840
The one that that just came out 
amazing and your father was 

1364
00:57:04,840 --> 00:57:08,400
such. 
A prolific marbet. 

1365
00:57:08,400 --> 00:57:09,520
'S Torah. 
Do you have a favorite? 

1366
00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:12,880
Vort idea Drasha, saying that 
you got from him of all the you 

1367
00:57:12,880 --> 00:57:15,440
know, Torah that he taught that 
you would point out as your 

1368
00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:17,080
number one favorite or most 
inspiring. 

1369
00:57:17,840 --> 00:57:21,040
Wow, I wish you'd have asked me.
This to prepare this this, this 

1370
00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:22,680
just goes to show that it's not 
prepared. 

1371
00:57:23,200 --> 00:57:26,040
And my father always used to say
on his answering machine back 

1372
00:57:26,040 --> 00:57:28,120
then, answering machines after 
the VORT leave a message. 

1373
00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:30,120
So after the void, leave a 
message. 

1374
00:57:30,520 --> 00:57:32,480
But I'll give you one. 
I'll give you 1 on this week's 

1375
00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:35,520
parsha, Parshas by Yaqel, the 
release to a lot of the topics 

1376
00:57:35,520 --> 00:57:37,560
that we're just talking about in
terms of fundraising as well. 

1377
00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:41,840
And this is one that my father 
spoke about from the RUV, the 

1378
00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:43,080
quotas. 
My father's a big time out of 

1379
00:57:43,080 --> 00:57:46,520
the RUV and always would quote 
the RUV in terms of his Torah 

1380
00:57:46,520 --> 00:57:48,200
learning, in terms of what he 
was appreciating. 

1381
00:57:49,280 --> 00:57:52,520
So the Torah tells us he who 
made hem trumala Hashem called 

1382
00:57:52,520 --> 00:57:55,880
nadivli Bo yavela trumas Hashem 
zaba cousin hoshas about the bus

1383
00:57:55,880 --> 00:58:01,760
I was looking for Yeah, here it 
is beginning of Cheney by a 

1384
00:58:01,760 --> 00:58:06,000
vocal ishinas alibo bakola 
shinadvo ruko O so he be was 

1385
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:07,440
true masasham. 
What does it mean the difference

1386
00:58:07,440 --> 00:58:10,480
between someone that's Nasalibo 
that gives over his heart and 

1387
00:58:10,480 --> 00:58:13,720
someone that's nadva ruko that 
really understands and has a 

1388
00:58:13,720 --> 00:58:17,360
spiritual aspect to it as well. 
And there's two different ways 

1389
00:58:17,360 --> 00:58:18,400
to give. 
And the rub explained that 

1390
00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:21,520
Nasalibo and Nadvaruko could be 
explained in two different ways,

1391
00:58:21,880 --> 00:58:26,000
that there's the individual that
gives from the perspective of 

1392
00:58:26,280 --> 00:58:29,760
allocating what he could afford 
and he goes through a 

1393
00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:34,560
calculation and that person is 
giving the tsaka as he should to

1394
00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:38,000
Daco Bakodesh on a weekly, 
monthly, annual basis, doing 

1395
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:40,280
what he has to do in terms of 
being a NASA Libo. 

1396
00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:43,480
But another Ruko is the 
spiritual aspect of it. 

1397
00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:46,680
Taking it to the next level is 
someone that doesn't necessarily

1398
00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:48,360
do all the full calculations in 
your head. 

1399
00:58:48,600 --> 00:58:51,400
And I'm not recommending not 
doing calculations, but it gets 

1400
00:58:51,400 --> 00:58:54,360
inspired and he realizes, he 
says, you know what, I'm just 

1401
00:58:54,360 --> 00:58:55,720
going to give to this 
organization. 

1402
00:58:56,200 --> 00:58:57,760
I'm going to give to this 
because I feel like it's 

1403
00:58:57,760 --> 00:58:59,280
important. 
I'm going to give to this 

1404
00:58:59,280 --> 00:59:01,800
because it's inspirational. 
But most rabino was telling 

1405
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:04,680
Claudia Soil at that time was no
matter what your personality is,

1406
00:59:04,680 --> 00:59:07,920
if you're another valibo or 
you're a or a or a, if you're a 

1407
00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:11,360
nasalaibo or another rujo, 
however you are, it's very 

1408
00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:13,960
important that you participate 
in contributing to the misgun. 

1409
00:59:13,960 --> 00:59:17,080
And my father would talk about 
that all the time in terms of 

1410
00:59:17,080 --> 00:59:20,160
not just giving stucco, but he 
would relate it to us in terms 

1411
00:59:20,160 --> 00:59:22,880
of our day, of the day of ODA 
sashem, because he would say you

1412
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:25,480
could be calculated in terms of 
your Odessa Hashem. 

1413
00:59:25,840 --> 00:59:26,960
You got to get 2,000,000 on 
time. 

1414
00:59:26,960 --> 00:59:28,520
You got to make sure you're 
diving in busman. 

1415
00:59:28,520 --> 00:59:30,600
You have to do the kriyeshma. 
You got to do the learning, you 

1416
00:59:30,600 --> 00:59:33,720
got to check the box. 
But what is really 

1417
00:59:33,720 --> 00:59:36,400
underappreciated with the 
emotion that my father put into 

1418
00:59:36,400 --> 00:59:39,480
things, There's a tremendous 
about filler understood what it 

1419
00:59:39,480 --> 00:59:42,440
meant to represent at Seabor. 
But learning from an emotional 

1420
00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:45,080
perspective just because you 
want to learn to shoulder his 

1421
00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:47,400
lavas when there's no schedule 
and you're not going to make the

1422
00:59:47,400 --> 00:59:49,720
time and you're just going to 
figure out 30 seconds here, a 

1423
00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:52,760
minute here, whatever it is, is 
just as important, if not more 

1424
00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:54,880
important to make sure they get 
your heart into it. 

1425
00:59:55,560 --> 00:59:56,240
Amazing. 
OK. 

1426
00:59:56,240 --> 00:59:58,640
And finally if. 
You were forced to quit your 

1427
00:59:58,640 --> 01:00:03,120
job, quit your fundraising, find
a new something that you maybe 

1428
01:00:03,120 --> 01:00:06,360
do you doing as a kid, something
else that you have a itch to do.

1429
01:00:06,520 --> 01:00:08,360
What would that be? 
Come on, you know the answer to 

1430
01:00:08,360 --> 01:00:09,600
that, Yaakov, but I'm going to 
tell you that's. 

1431
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:12,240
Going to be my second career. 
So PwC, we have forced 

1432
01:00:12,240 --> 01:00:14,760
retirement at 60. 
I just turned 50 and that's what

1433
01:00:14,760 --> 01:00:17,120
I'm doing with my teaching 
aspect to try and get there. 

1434
01:00:17,400 --> 01:00:18,960
I dream is maybe to go back and 
get Smeetha. 

1435
01:00:18,960 --> 01:00:21,240
I'm trying to plan that out as 
well in terms of getting Smeetha

1436
01:00:21,240 --> 01:00:23,720
just from a credentialing 
perspective as well in terms of 

1437
01:00:23,720 --> 01:00:25,400
learning. 
But definitely teaching, 

1438
01:00:25,400 --> 01:00:27,600
Definitely teaching some sort. 
I'm teaching with one of your 

1439
01:00:27,600 --> 01:00:29,920
former guest laser cornwashers. 
I'm teaching at Yu right now, 

1440
01:00:29,920 --> 01:00:32,600
Monday Nights entrepreneurship. 
I'm his Co teacher. 

1441
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:34,800
I'd love to maybe get a Sheeran 
Yu one day. 

1442
01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:37,280
Who knows, you know, putting it 
out there, but definitely 

1443
01:00:37,280 --> 01:00:40,880
teaching something like that 
100% that you have some very 

1444
01:00:40,880 --> 01:00:45,200
senior Yu figures to do with. 
The show regularly all right 

1445
01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:48,800
though. 
Thank you so much for coming on 

1446
01:00:48,800 --> 01:00:50,200
during busy season. 
No less than we really 

1447
01:00:50,200 --> 01:00:52,120
appreciate all of your Thank you
for having me. 

1448
01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:52,920
I really had a great time.
